#and im an adult
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I am 18 NOW.. I am OLD! I am.. ADULT! I will ADULT and do ADULT STUFF LIKE CAR! drive a CAR! I will drive a cAR. I am going to ADULT! This is ADULT TIME!
#birthday#its my birthday#i am now ADULT#How are we doing fellow adults?#i am one of you now#isnt that cool#whos 17? not me baby im 18 now#and im an adult#i can car#car#i am car ing so hard#not caring no im CARing#im gon ign to c ar.
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it's my birthday !!!
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#hyper feminine#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#girl things#cinnamon girl#im just a girl#adult human female#manic pixie dream girl#hell is a teenage girl#tumblr girls#just girly things#just like me fr#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#i’m just a girl#female rage#female hysteria#female manipulator#femcel#coqquette#coqeutte#girl interupted syndrome#black swan#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant
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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
#dan and phil fanfiction changed me#come into my lady door#and teen me saw that and went “i need to be that so fuckan bad”#i wanted to be dan but now that im a mature adult i understand that phil is better. phil guy 5ever nowadays#do i tag this as dan and phil. i still dont know tumblr site tagging norms and im like a year in now#dan and phil#dnp#phan
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#coquette#femcel#localy hated#girl interupted syndrome#this is what makes us girls#moodboard#lana del ray moodboard#lana del rey gif#lana stan#girl things#dark femininity#adult human female#female rage#divine feminine#female manipulator#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#hell is a teenage girl#cinnamon girl#im just a girl
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
#this is just me ranting sorry#im very tired and hungry#and i want to sleep but brain go brrrrr#well i used to be nice and smart and now im neither of those or however the song goes#pretty sure he was exaggerating cause looking back. it was good. but some of the wording was a lil wonky#adhd#actually adhd#executive dysfunction#actually neurodiverse#adhd paralysis#adult adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#adhd hacks#academia#neurodivergent#adhd skill regression#confessions of a burnt out gifted kid#<< i guess#former gifted kid#burnt out gifted kid#gifted kid burnout#realizing i sound rly pretentious here sorry -- formal speech patterns i picked up as an autistic child and never put down again haha
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shoutout to autistic people who have memory issues and can't remember many things about your special interests. you don't need to be able to remember things for the interests to be valid or important to you! if you enjoy them that's what matters
#its me im autistic people#i feel shame about this often so im making a positivity post#autism#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autistic positivity#autistic adult#autistic things#max yaks
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reality of a girlblogger ♡
#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#coquette#femcel#this is what makes us girls#hystericwaif#hell is a teenage girl#girl things#cinnamon girl#im just a girl#tumblr girls#manic pixie dream girl#dark femininity#adult human female#female rage#divine feminine#female manipulator#female hysteria#girl interupted syndrome#lana stan#sylvia plath#localy hated
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I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh
#spitblaze says things#anyway.#1) please google 'halfling'#2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE#3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT*#4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU#5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general#is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik#anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta#im gonna start smashing things#doin numbers
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im sorry but i cannot stop thinking about isha's pastel memories that play during her sacrifice scene.
look at how full of colour this beautiful fuckin shot is:
it's been well established in episodes 4-6 how grim and dark the undercity has become under cait and ambessa's new rule. but look at how isha sees/remembers it - because of jinx.
jinx, who went through a severe childhood trauma that has carried over into her present self - she covers extremely destructive weapons and grenades in bright pinks and blues, neons, childlike doodles, graffiti. (joy and destruction, powder and jinx, a contrast so striking it becomes like a signature for her).
and then we see the world through isha's eyes. when we meet her in episode 2, she's running through sewers, from goons dressed in black; it's grimy and grim. and then all of her recent memories are done in these childlike pastel, almost crayon-y sketches. because what isha saw was jinx covering a dark and grim world in colours.
and so isha covered her world in colour, too.
because jinx made her world bright.
isha looked at jinx and saw the child in her. she saw powder and she saw jinx. she saw joy and destruction. and that's why jinx gave isha so much hope. isha knew the world was grim and dark - but then she watched jinx, and she learned that you can paint over all that grim darkness with neon blue spray paint.
that's why isha believed in hope. that's why in her final moments - in a scene that is lit dimly and dramatically - she sees nothing but a bright world coloured in pastels.
never underestimate the hope of a child.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#my post#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#sry tagging the shit out of this i dont wanna ruin the scene for anyone#jinx arcane#jinx and isha#isha arcane#jinx#god i just.#the thing about jinx's trauma that has been so poignant up until now being the exact thing that isha needed!!!#a child seeing the childlike behaviors of an adult and seeing it not as trauma but as bravery and hope#and it's WHY jinx has become this unwilling symbol of hope for the undercity. bc they *also* see her covering a dark world in colour#anyways.#i could say more and maybe i will later but. yeah#jinx made isha's world bright. im gonna be SICK
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#coquette#femcel#localy hated#girl interupted syndrome#lily rose depp#adult human female#dark femininity#divine feminine#female manipulator#moodboard#this is what makes us girls#girl things#cinnamon girl#im just a girl#hell is a teenage girl#tumblr girls#manic pixie dream girl#female rage#female hysteria#just like me fr
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Guess who my favorite atla character is
#quick sketches#which is my way of saying im ashamed of the render#atla fanart#avatar the last airbender#avatar aang#aang#i like trans aang#i just think its fun#adult aang design#my art
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is this anything
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#mob psycho#reigen arataka#this is an edit but i also drew a lot of this so im putting it here lol#shitpost#meme#they both have middle aged man who is a young adult energy to me#oh shit 10k
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hyper feminine#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lizzy grant#girl blog#girl blogger#girl interrupted#coquette#femcel#localy hated#girl interupted syndrome#this is what makes us girls#moodboard#lana del ray moodboard#lana del rey gif#lana stan#girl things#dark femininity#adult human female#female rage#divine feminine#female manipulator#female hysteria#manic pixie dream girl#hell is a teenage girl#cinnamon girl#im just a girl
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