#its me im autistic people

[maxillo]

shoutout to autistic people who have memory issues and can't remember many things about your special interests. you don't need to be able to remember things for the interests to be valid or important to you! if you enjoy them that's what matters

[snowballeclipse]

autistic people when the au/rewrite of a thing they like has faux religious imagery

[biologist-with-a-blog]

What about autistic people who know everything about niche shit because of hyperfixations?

i love you autistic people who don't know shit from fuck

[muscariii]

Sorry no Morrowind art this weekend because I've been playing the MHWilds open beta and auggghh my brain is so focused on it. My PC almost died but I somehow managed to get it to look decent and ohhhh my god. It's sooo good. I can't wait for the full release.

Already got emotionally attached to the Seikret so I made a few drawings with it and also Nora because I love her.

Thinking intensely about the fact that she would definitely put its feathers in her hair so that they match...

[bananonbinary]

a thing i've noticed with autistic people, that i don't see talked about too often, is the idea that there MUST be a Correct way to act. that if only you could find the most perfect sequence of words, someone would understand your point of view completely and you'd unlock the good ending where everyone agreed with you forever.

i'm not sure if this is from the rsd, or just a trauma response to being constantly told that we are NOT acting correctly and everyone else IS, or some facet of the black-and-white thinking thing, but it's a constant struggle to remind myself that no, some people just aren't you and will never ever be you, and will probably do things you find unconscionable, and that sucks.

[boimgfrog]

it's always "autism acceptance" until the autistic person is weird, or fat, or a man, or has poor hygiene, or a POC, or makes unfunny jokes, or isn't a cute feminine gay, or is actually bad at communicating, or needs to have things explained to them, or is too loud, or too quiet, or needs to be told something multiple times to understand it, or has mannerisms that make people stare at them, or, or, or, etc. if you would show patience to the cute autistic girl who collects plushies and stims by flapping her hands then you MUST show equal patience to the large autistic boy who stims by humming or hitting his head and worms underwater welding into every conversation. I am no longer asking. your acceptance cannot begin and end with people you deem palatable.

[orbch]

could you pwetty pwease do sum moceit or logicality,,, (also genuinely tweaking over your dsmp stuff. you've woken up the autism in me)

whats it take 2 get ur number >.< ??!!?

whats it take 2 bring u home ^o^ ?!??!!

[taya-ki]

Captivated by that one scene where they talk about this... How often do they sit down to have side by side autism dinner..

[imkazz]

saiki k is a golden anime.

i finished season 1 just now and. i have feelings. copy pasted from discord as a ranting to @peapodsinspace but i have to recommend the anime now.

i feel like the genre is comedy anime but. there are a lot of dark undertones to it. this is a teenage boy and he has to suffer every single day for powers he doesnt want. it impacts his everyday life and all he wants is to be normal but he doesnt know what normal is despite it being right in his face.

he pushes these people away but they continue coming after him. like real friends. normal friends.

they think of him and like him no matter what he does or acts or anything and. he loves them right back. he does things for them and they try to do things despite the fact that it typically goes wrong or he knows what theyre doing. he doesnt even care that he doesnt get acknowledgement because he doesnt want it.

so like.. i have to mention his friends. kusuo gives them grief constantly. always dissing them, always using their thoughts against them (such as teruhashi and her dislike for kids and bowling). because he can hear them. saiki kusuo not only gets his ideas about them from how they act and what they say, but also by what they think and that is a huge teller because they dont think anyone is listening. this is a private space that kusuo cannot even escape from whether he wants it or not and he is forced to hear and see whatever they think. ive joked about how he is always in gossip but. he literally cannot get out of it because he is such a kind person, that he wants to help.

and he gets to see all sides of them whether they show it or think it. kaidos letter. kaido defending yumeharu. hairos determination. yumeharus dedication. teruhashi and her utility of her own abilities. nendo with his mom and job and how he threw away millions of yen to save a drowning kid. kusuo is always there to see any part of that, and he gets a more in depth experience while choosing friends. should i mention that all those examples are things that kusuo didnt use his powers to observe? they were all things that he used his normal senses to find out or watch or overhear. it is very important to both kusuo himself along with the audience that he didnt use his powers to watch them be themselves and nice in all those situations as a normal teenager.

and i find it important that over time, and these experiences cumulate, that he slowly figures out that these are good, genuine people. sure they can be weird or perverted or cunning, but at the end of the day, they care about him and it only comes out so blatantly when they plan a surprise party specifically for him.

because many of us (hopefully) have wondered. what is inside our friends minds? and saiki has the answer. and he can see that they mean well. he may not understand most people and their emotions, but he knows some basics. and perhaps that could be enough to get him to live normally.

not to mention kuniharu and his convo with kusuo... despite some of the grief i give the man for constantly demanding his son do things for him, he knows his kid well. that convo is totally the pinnacle of their entire relationship, kusuos feelings, his friends.

kusuo mentioned that he doesnt tell his parents about new powers in fear they will demand more things and become lazy but. they care about him and know him. they understand his aversion to friends and know when to help him out or to push him to be around them.

he aided in that surprise birthday party but he also encouraged kusuo to go to his party that his friends threw for him. and he overhears that conversation without his telekinesis. because they actually know him and they all agree upon it. its not as in he is looking into their minds. he hears them through the door.

so he cant come to the conclusion that it was just a private thought that nobody wanted to voice aloud. no, they all agreed upon it. and they all verbally agreed to be nicer. just as his dad had said they would

it was weird seeing saiki kusuo smiling like that because he isnt one to do that and his friends know him well enough to know that (despite the fact kusuo avoids them!!) and they can all agree. they were all very happy to see kusuo smiling but they knew it jsut wasnt right

every time that kuniharu sneaks off to meet with the real saiki k they want, he is always trying to get kusuo to join them as himself

he is always encouraging his son to go hang out with his friends and he is still ready to go along with what kusuo wants. he was probably ready to go back to them after that last convo if kusuo still declined. but his words definitely got to kusuo because there arent that many people in the world who can understand kusuo so well

i know ive made fun of this but everyone around him sees him all wrong in their minds. they see the damsel in distress eyes or the idiot circle eyes. they hear a high pitch and weak voice. but not his parents. kusuos dad actually knows who he is and accepts him and loves him and encourages him to live out his dream of being normal by telling kusuo about what being normal is really like. to have friends who love you and go out of their way to try and make your day. kuniharu has to 'lecture' kusuo in order to get him to understand that the reason he was staying away was not because the classmates were 'bullying' or 'being annoying' from the kindness and love of their own decisions. it was because kusuo was scared of hurting them or disappointing them or even for them to abandon him.

and of course, that is a very common teenage feeling!! the fear of disappointing your friends- of course its normal!! saiki kusuo is a normal kid with not so normal powers attached to him.

[saturnniidae]

you say you have disabled hiccup headcanons? :3 *ears get really reall big. how are they doing that. why*

id love to hear them :D

Yes! Okay you've opened the floodgates my friend, I've been waiting to talk about this for so long.

He's autistic and has adhd! Obviously.

stims by tapping his fingers against things, waving his hands around, quickly taking apart and putting back together trinkets he's made, mimicking dragon noises (tho over time he's realized their vague meaning and stopped doing it randomly bc it was confusing them), running his hands over toothless' head to feel the texture of his scales and (when he was younger) petting his fur vest

His 'obsession' with things (trying to one up viggo, and when he was working on his sword) is literally just him Hyperfocusing on things

Easily loses track of time when he's locked in (Hyperfocused) working on inventions

Has that random 'I need to info dump NOW' thing and wakes Astrid up in the middle of the night like to randomly talk about abnormal behavioral patterns in a new terror flock on berk and Astrids just like 'babe I love you but it's three am'

Dyspraxic. When he was a kid he spent so much time practicing coordination for things like learning to write then later working in the smithy, and almost gave up more than once before continuing out of spite.

immunocompromised. Like seriously Hiccup has a weak ass immune system and would get sick every winter as a little kid, to the point of it being fatal. The villagers would always talk in hushed tones (bc of stoick caught them they'd get yelled at) and wonder if that years gonna be the one where he doesn't make it but he always ended up pulling through (also out of spite)

After meeting Toothless he developed tinnitus. Didn't think much of the ringing in his ears at first bc. Yknow, dragon roared at full volume directly into his ear. Then it didn't go away and he was like 'huh maybe this is an issue' then it just got worse as he continued to be in close proximity to loud noises like, even more roaring, and explosions etc.

Despite this he's got that weird "I enjoy loud noises like dragons roaring and the sound the wind makes when you're flying at like 40 mph, but if I hear the noise of lots of overlapping voices all having different conversations in a large room I need to die."

Chronic pain. The obvious, phantom pains in his leg of course, but fun fact! The human body really doesn't like it when you've broken bones repeatedly especially in the same area, and with how much this kid gets thrown around in rtte it's safe to say he's broken, fractured, and dislocated a lot of things.

When he comes home/gets back to the edge after a long day of traumatic or ridiculous events, first thing he does is take Toothless' saddle and prosthetic tail fin off, then he tries to crash in his bed, but either Toothless doesn't let him sleep until he's taken his prosthesis off (I hate that he sleeps with it on in canon looking at it makes my body hurt imaging how uncomfortable that'd be), or Astrid comes in to make sure he does (and also to make sure he eats bc he forgets to wayyy too often).

Asthma. No explanation. I just know he has it

I hope not all of these came off as super angsty, they aren't meant to completely. Like sure it sucks but he's allowed to not be miserable constantly (disabled people are allowed to not be miserable constantly, it doesn't make our pain any less valid. We're allowed to be happy).

I just love when characters are permanently, physically, changed by their story. Tbh if it weren't for rampant ableism, I think a lot of characters in action/adventure stories would be disabled, but people aren't ready for that discussion yet. Ty for the ask I had so much fun answering and writing these!!!

[aw-tysm]

Autism advocacy is interesting.

It's interesting in the sense that part of Autism is "Social and Communication deficits". Why does that make this interesting?

Because it means I often can not participate in advocacy myself because I do not understand what exactly we're advocating for or what it means.

A lot of advocacy wants to force big changes but do not explain what type of changes we should implement or how that will help those with moderate-high support needs Autistics. Which makes it harder to understand or "get on board".

We are all Autistic. But some of us still need more support than others. This is not excluding others. This is fact.

I need to put some level of trust into Autism advocates because I do not have the ability to advocate that way. Autism limits my abilities to do so. If my NT parent can not understand the advocacy, it means I will struggle too. I need to trust that there are people advocating for people like me and that they are being listened to as well.

[angelpuns]

pov i did in fact get a (v cheap) cane to see if it helped any but I'm??? apprehensive about using it or telling anyone about it cause im?? Idk if it will improve my life but it's a temporary solution until I can go to the doctor. Anyway this is just me telling someone( the internet) about it cause it frankly should not be this big of a deal. It just is cause that's the type of person I am. I mean- my friends can attest to me not being able to stand or walk for long periods of time, I just don't want them to??? i don't wanna say judge me, but maybe think I am being dramatic?? It really is temporary to see if it helps so. Idk. I know they probably wouldn't but man im just.ragh. I also was under the assumption that canes are just for support when walking but apparently nthey are also helpful if you have trouble standing. good to know cause that's where most of my issues lie. walking sucks too but I can usually deal cause im too focused on other things such as 'dont get hit by car' and 'dont let knees get too straight'

ALSO SIDE NOTE I WILL BE GOING TO A DOCTOR SOMETIME AFTER JANUARY IM JUST LITERALLY TOO BUSY AND POOR RN TO DO SO

[mueritos]

trying to be more accepting of the likelihood I am autistic, I feel ive been having this constant back and forth conversation with myself for the past 2 years about it. "you can go to school, be a therapist for people, run errands, win awards, and somehow fit 2 jobs into all of that" and I use that as proof that I am NOT autistic...however, realizing i lose an entire weekend for a trip? distress. fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and leaves me trembling, crying, and forced to recover? oh boy i wonder why that happened. feeling confused and like i'm constantly missing something when people express themselves in class or in the workplace? hm, it's almost as if I struggle to not take their language literally.

i don't think i've ever been allowed to be "disabled" by whatever neurodivergency and its symptomology, like, ever. god speed any other neurodivergent children of immigrants, but i don't feel allowed to let any cluster of disturbances or schedule changes or social conundrums disable me. I mean, they can affect me privately, where I am forced to stim and cry and process all on my own. But unfortunately i cannot look like the misshapen freak I feel I am, or well, as least not appear so in a socially unacceptable way.

it's funny i carry so much shame. i am unmasking in ways i never thought i could. i am allowing myself to take things literally with people, and I am allowing myself to ask more questions. "what did you mean by that?" "why did you use that word to describe that?" "can you rephrase that?" it's funnier that I am at such a queer and neurodiverse internship; nearly all of the other clinical staff have some sort of diagnosis (usually adhd/ocd/with flavors of trauma), and we all serve a population of the queerest and most neurodiverse students. i feel SO happy when I see a student and they refuse to make eye contact with me, because I take it as an invitation to NOT look them in the eye too! i tell students during our sessions feel free to stim, here's a weighted plushie you can hold, sit where you like, would you like to pace, should I dim the lights? it is even funnier that i am a neurodivergent clinician working with neurodivergent people, and half the time I dont even follow the same advice I give my clients!

i worry about what my life will look like when i've graduated. my master's will say, "hey, this guy is a clinical social worker and is now ready to be your therapist! or caseworker! whatever they have you people do nowadays!" and I don't think i feel ready to enter any workforce. how on earth will i manage my life and wellbeing doing this 40 hours a week? like wtf? ugh.

i dunno. these r just rambles and perhaps im just seeking some sort of comfort from other autistic people, especially because it feels like i have very few autistic people in my life. i know a lot of the validation i seek will be "resolved" if i seek out an official diagnosis, but I don't have time or $ for that. nor do I think I want one for a number of reasons. I should just continue working on my own self-esteem when it comes to most likely being autistic.

oh well

[the-mechanisms-system]

eternal NPD paradox of "I wanna be the cool edgy loner" vs "if I actually do that there will be no one around to witness it and be intrigued by my mystery therefore defeating the purpose"

how am I supposed to thrive in these conditions. I should get to have both. as a treat.

[titan-god-helios]

ahAh and the disability disabled me again !!

[pnfc]

i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece