#and if you are repeating the same thing over and over again with the same (or similar) results no matter how much you love it

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

We meet again | In-ho x Fem!Reader | Ending

Summary: It was only one night for fun, you never thought you would see him again. Even less in a place like this one.

P1 P2 P3 P4

Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - Pregnant!Reader - Non canon background for In-ho - Use of (Y/N) - Angst - Protective!In-ho - Medical inaccuracy - grammar mistakes - NON CANON EVENTS - Wrote before S3 so no idea how things will play. This can be really OOC - Would add more things but I would Spoil the ending -

You had no idea where you were at first. A light, then a flash of a person, multiple voices talking all at the same time. And the repeated sound of a machine.

A hospital? That was your first idea.

But what about the island ? The games ? Was all a nightmare your mind had conjured ? And what about your baby ?

Panic went throw your body, muscles screaming from your sudden move. You felt something in your nose, oxygen ? And your arms full of differents vials.

Soon a lot of nurses and a doctor came into the room. Trying to calm you down. Trying to settle you down and prevent you from ripping off the different medicines they were giving you.

But you did not respond. A sudden move made you hit someone, you had no idea who that person was.

Next thing you knew dark was once again taking over you.

The second time you woke up was different. Somehow your body felt lighter, like something was missing.

Wait.

Why was there a big pain in your stomach? Why did you feel less heavy ?

With trembling hands you moved the small hospital blanket and saw with horror a big scar on your belly.

The scream you left alerted the medical staff once again.

"Miss miss!! Please calm down, breath" A nurse said besides you

"My baby...you took my baby!! You screamed at her tears falling down your face. "Where is it? What did you do!!" The desesperation in your voice was clear, raw emotions filled you as you took a look around the white room.

"Miss listen please. You have been asleep for three weeks, your baby its fine I promise" The nurse said taking your hand "We had to remove it...your baby its a premature one but its fine"

"I want to see it, please"

The nurse gave a small nod signaling another nurse to go and find your baby.

"Take deep breaths, the doctor will come to check on how you are doing"

"I just want my baby, please I just want to see if its-"

The nurse returned a white blanket around a small body. Your body felt light like all was a dream. As she approached you and let you take a look. Your baby, sleeping without a care in the world.

"You can hold him Dear"

Him, it was a boy. A beautiful boy.

Carefully she passed the baby to you, you took it looking at him with so much love and care. You could not believe how something so fragile and cute could be here right now.

"Hello Little One...im your mom. Im sorry I was not here when you arrived"

The baby opened his eyes revealing deep dark ones, it did not scream at first reaching to touch your face with his small hand.

"Babys knows their mother" The nurse said smiling as she saw how you rocked the small kid a tiny smile on your tired face, and a few tears in your eyes.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Turns out someone from the staff found you outside unconscious and they took you into emergency care fast. Your vital signs were stable but they were still worry over your baby and the low amount of iron you had.

The first week you were in intensive care, the doctors and nurses checking you every hour, making sure you were progressing for good and so was your baby.

However, things got complicated and they had to proceed with a emergency cesarean when some tests came out wrong. You and your baby were in vital danger and that was the only option.

Your baby was born premature, being 2.5 kg low birth weight, it was took to special care since you were still unconscious and recovering from the surgery.

Luckly your baby started to gain weight as soon as they started to feed him with special formulas, it soon got good color and all his still under developing organs were alright.

It was safe to say that by the time you woke up your baby was healthier than you. Did you care ? Of course not, you would give your life for him.

Breast feeding him was easier than what you did initially thought. And everybody was happy that your baby was so eager to be natural feed. It was important for mother-baby bond.

Days went on, the Hospital where you were was close to the coast town you once lived. You were confused and wondered how you had ended up there. Last thing you did remember was eating food under the watchful eye of a guard then nothing.

You were suprised by the visit of your Friends from town, someone from the hospital had contacted them since you had no parents alive and your brother was not responding.

Even the bar owner from where you met In-ho came by, to scold you like a old father. How could you ran away ? They were a small yet powerfull town and they protected their people.

During these days lots of things happened.

You discovered that your debt was all paid, your brother was found in another country and was now paying for what he had done. You were not interested in the details of that.

Your original house, the one from the town was still under your name and clean as if someone had been keeping check on it. But no one knew a thing.

Once you were free from the hospital and at home with your baby you discovered another thing.

When going out to buy groceries and baby food, you checked your account only to see so many zeros...hell you almost fainted there.

But you did not win, then why ? Was this their way of compensation ? You were repulsed by it and for months did not touch the money till it became impossible to keep going without doing it. You could not work yet and the others insisted on you resting.

Life was once again slow...like all of what had happened was a nightmare. Something you had made.

Did you go to the police? No. You could only imagine what they would think if you ever decided to talk, and you wanted to keep your baby safe.

Oh your dear son...it had his father's eyes and your hair. A perfect and beautiful mix. You would cry at night thinking on him. In-ho....who could not met his son, and your son that would grow up without a father.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Jun-ho stood besides In-ho part of him wanting nothing but to kill his own brother and other to...well he was still deciding on the first one.

"You shot me! Without a dam care" Jun-ho said to his older brother who just moved his gloved hand like it was nothing.

"You left me no choice, it was to keep you safe..."

"Thanks to you I lost my job because no one would fucking believe me"

"And you blame them?" In-ho asked "You are still a naive kid, but you are my family and my blood..."

"Why let Seong Gi-hun live? Why me ? You killed the others, the team..."

"Because, there is a small balance I have to keep" In-ho said voice cold and eyes sharp "I cant stop this. Its a never ending circle, its not up to me or you. Or anyone, it goes far beyond that"

"I still dont understand...what makes you think I wont-"

"I have a favor to ask you" In-ho cut his younger brother off, who gave back an incredulous look.

"Really? After everything, you have the face to ask me for a favor?"

"You have a nephew" In-ho started pulling out the pic of a woman and a small kid, a few months old. "I met her once, then here again" He smiled saddly at the memory "Such a cruel fate...but I loved her, and him.." His finger passed over the photo.

"...You must be kidding me" Jun-ho said letting himself fall besides him in the dark couch "You- Do you realize how fucked up this is ? And what ? What do you want me to do ?"

"Check them for me. She does not have a family, and im dead to her-"

"Oh so you lied" Typical of him.

"Yes, it was for the best. Thats why im asking you to check on them. To be there for them. I dont care if you hate me but they, they deserve a family and I cant give them that"

Jun-ho pressed his lips seeing his older brother show a vulnerable side that was so...odd. So strange to see.

"Let me see them" Jun-ho asked looking at the pic, well various pics. You were smiling in most and the little baby looked healthy. He could not help but feel a jump at his heart, this kid was his nephew....even if his brother was far from perfect...He was right. Not you or the kid had the fault. And if he was the only family you two could get then he would do it.

"Fine, but im not doing it for you but them" Jun-ho accepted giving the pics back.

In-ho nodded taking a black envelope and passing it to him.

"What is this?" Jun-ho asked taking a peak inside.

"Your new name for when you met them, I never told her my real name. And some background so you dont go there without a reason. It would be too strange and last thing I want its to scare her"

Jun-ho took a deep breath opening the envelope getting ready to read and memorize his new identity.

Things you do for family.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

One year passed. Your life was back to normal. Your dear son grow up everyday,  triying to give him everytning you could and be the best mom.

Reading different books and being helped by the older woman from town was like heaven. You could carry your life on your own.

Your Friends loved your son, the amount of gifts he would get each time they visited...you had to tell them to stop it.

There was the money too. While you could live your life without having to work you decided you wanted to do something with it. And after long talks and hours you finally decided what to do.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

One morning you were just there, the TV on with a kids program as you studied some pappers. A knock at your door took you by suprise.

Slowly you got up and went there, still unsure but the person behind the door knocked again this time faster.

Jun-ho stood outside your door. Anxiety and fear on him. He had read your file and his background multiple times. But the idea of finally meeting you and his nephew....scared him a lot.

He knew he was not his older brother...knew he would not fill a place he had left. But he also wanted to be there for you and his newphew, after seeing how much you loved the kid...

The door opened and a heavy silence fell between both of you.

Jun-ho saw it all, the suprise on your face and the look of small recognition  over him. Even if him and his brother were not twins they did share genetics and by what he had read about you, you were not stupid, he was sure you were putting together the pieces by now.

"Hello" He paused not sure how to continue, even if he had prepared himself for this moment for so long.

"Hello...may I know who you are ?" You asked already blocking the door. Your eyes went over his face, taking the small details as your brain slowly connected him with In-ho.

Could it be ?

"Im Oh Jun-ho...In-ho's younger brother" He said the fake name with centrain disgust but hide it behind a smile.

"Younger brother ? He...he never said he had a younger brother..."

Of course not. He shot me that fucker-

"He is-was" he corrected himself "he was a reserved man", He went missing some time ago, the leads I followed made me come here. And some people said they saw you with him one night...

Well that was a lie. He knew that because thats whats he was suppose to say to you.

"Are you...still looking for him?" You asked your voice barely a whisper. Jun-ho could see your shoulder tremble, he knew you thought his brother was long dead, and it broke him to have to lie to you.

If you could only see how much you are hurting her

"Yes, thats why im here. Can I come in? I promise it wont take long. You can ask someone to come if you are not comfortable with a stranger in your home" Jun-ho added knowing you most likely would be a bit admant on letting him in.

And you were. Ever since you came back and saw that account with so much money,  you were always checking over your shoulder. A fresh set of alarms were installed at your house, and you made sure to double check everything. 

It was safe to say you were ready to kill for your son. And even if this stranger had some resemblance with In-ho...

"Wait here" You told him closing the door and texting your friend who worked at the local coffee from town explaining everything

His responde came quick, telling you to bring the stranger there and that he would keep an eye on him and in your son.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"Alright lets go" Jun-ho hear you said, he turned around his heart beating fast at the sight of his nephew and In-ho's son.

Genetics did not lie. It did look like him.

"Right....were to?" He asked trying not to eye his newphew too much to not make you suspect that he knew more than what he was telling you.

"There is a coffee shop near, we can talk there"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Jun-ho knew when he was being watched. Years in the police and as a detective have sharpered his senses. Of course he knew the friendly barista was giving him the side eye since you two ordered a drink and took a seat on a table a bit away from the rest.

He also took note of the guy who came up with your drinks. A guy tall, taller than him and fairy muscular, he had give you a polite smile and almost a dead look towards him.

So far he did not feel very welcome. But it was fair. After all you were being lied and he was helping with that lie, so this was the smallest price he should pay.

If anything part of him should be greateful you had someone to look after you. He did read in your file about your parents death and the piece of trash your brother was.

Hell, he hoped he could be a better uncle than him.

"What did you want to talk about?" Your soft voice broke him from his thoughts

He blinked back and nodded, composing himself.

"As I said" He started slowly "Im In-ho's younger brother. He went missing a few months back...and I started to look for him"

Well months was a lie. Years by now.

"I used to be a detective in Seoul, I tried to find him and followed different leads but nothing would came out from it" He made a pause to take a sip from his coffee "Then I found out he was...hiding"

"Hiding?" You asked a bit scared.

So when we met he was hiding? Thats why he left so quickly?

"Yeah" Jun-ho felt his skin crawl back at the lies "I found out he was in debt and was going from city to towns. To avoid them. This was the last place he was seen..."

Jun-ho let the lie set on you. He could see your brain working, maybe trying to pull out dates and reasons too.

"Im sorry I was not faster" Jun-ho continued "I really wanted to find him, I wanted to bring him home..."

He saw you nod and a few tears forming on your eyes.

Jun-ho went to his pocket and pulled out a very old picture. A picture of a different time. When things were more simple.

"This is me and him" Jun-ho showed you "He was a fellow detective, I actually joyned the force becaue of him" Jun-ho said smiling at that time when he was inspired by In-ho.

You took the pic traseing on the younger features of In-ho, he looked happier, less tired and stressed than what you did remember from the games...

"And...you think he-"

The cries from your boy stopped you. You took him out from the stroller to try and shh him down. The little bundle of joy was just boring for what it seems. You checked the time and saw that his feed time was still for another hour.

"Sorry to ask but...that baby" Jun-ho started not really knowing how to proceed.

He saw you pull the baby closer to you, like you were trying to protect him from the world. Or maybe from him.

"I-" You took a deep breath calming yourself and your baby down. "Its true what you know. I did met your brother. We met one night at the local bar. The one near the docks. We passed the night together but he was gone when I woke up" The words died in your throat as you remember all the times in the game and the soft moment during Migle. When he was able to touch your belly and talk to his kid. "I discovered I was pregnant, but for personal reasons I left this town for some time"

Jun-ho did know. It was scary how much he knew but he faked that this was all new.

"My brother left a debt on me. I had to work in Seoul to pay it off. I was then able to return here. If In-ho was here during that time...I cant known. I was not here. Im sorry I cant help you more"

Like In-ho had told him, you would most likely not mention the games, the money you got, or the fact that you believed he was dead.

Jun-ho nodded and a few minutes of silence passed between both of you. Each one with their own thoguhts.

"I never got your name Miss.."

"Oh...its (Y/N)" You responded being too caught up to even think of that.

"And your son's name..."

"In-ho" Jun-ho felt his heart fell "I named him after his father"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Even if the start of the conversation was tense and full of doubts on your side. The more you talked to Jun-ho the more relaxed you got. He showed you some more pics of him and In-ho and even shared some stories from when they were young.

It helped you to imagine how he was and how he could have been if he was outside with you and your son.

"I dont want to interrump in your life" Jun-ho had said as both walked together to your home "But I cant ignore the fact that I have a nephew...and if you let me I would love to be part of his life. I dont want to replace In-ho, I know I could never do it"

You looked at Jun-ho's eyes for any indication of a lie or ulterior motive. But found nothing, just a Man, a brother lost in the look for his older brother and now finding out that he was an uncle.

At the end your kid was an extension of In-ho, and you could not blame Jun-ho for wanting to be part of his life. If anything it was quiet cute and a noble wish.

"I...I dont mind if you are part of his life. Well our lives. I cant say im kind on going to Seoul but-"

"No, thats fine. I can work with what you are more comfortable" Jun-ho said remembering the strong emphasis his brother had made on pulling your needs first.

"Thanks, its a city that just brings back bad memories..."

Jun-ho nodded once more. He took out his phone and offered it to you.

"You can put your number..or I can give you mine. You dont have to save it just..."

"I will give you mine" You softly said pulling your contact information and giving it back. "Do you plan on staying more days at the town?"

Honestly? No. Jun-ho was already planning on leaving to rest in the next town and then go back to his brother.

But...a few more days could not hurt...

"Yes..I think I have a reason to stay for a few more days" He said smiling at the baby.

You smiled back then after giving it a long thought asked "Would you like to hold him?"

"Really?" Jun-ho asked being taken back so much he did take a step back and felt dumb for it.

"You are his uncle...I trust you will not let him fall" You said getting your kid who blinked at you giving a soft smile

"Never. I would never hurt him" Jun-ho said with maybe more force than needed.

When he felt the baby in his arms he felt so much. The little thing looked at him, curious on who this stranger was.

His little hands went to touch his shirt and Jun-ho could not help but smile. It did resemble the old baby pics his mother had of him and In-ho and in a way it felt wrong that he was holding his son before him.

But at the same time. He felt a deep connection, call it genetics, call it love, whatever it was Jun-ho did swear there that no harm would ever come to this kid. Or you, even if you deserved more than a lie. He would make sure you and your kid were safe.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

4 Years Later

Laughted filled the kid's park as some ran playing tag and others pulled their friends in the hammocks.

Your son, now five years old was lost in a game of tag with other kids from his school. Part of his hair flew in the air under his hat as he smiled when he was tagged and went for another kid.

You watched it from a near bench. Your work being flexible in hours was a plus when it came down on passing time with him.

"Mom" His sweet voice called as he came running with a bit of sweat. The summer was soon coming and the heat was just staring.

"Yes In-ho?" You asked adjusting the hat on his head. After years you have been able to say the name without it hurting that much to the point of hold back tears.

"Yejun and the others wants to go to the near store to get ice cream, pelease mom can I go too?"

You knew he was begging to go alone with his friends. Even if you knew everybody at the Town and Jun-ho had been a presece on his life and yours that made you feel less lonely and safe...you still got worried over him. Like any mother would.

"Alright" You said giving him a bit of money "But stay close to Yejun, you think you can do that little one?" You asked smiling at him.

"Mom! Im five now" He said taking the momeny and blushing "But yes! I wont separate from them"

"Thats my son" You said seeing him go off with Yejun and the others.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

A few months back on a different location:

In-ho stood over a big map, the island map and the new games that would be incorporated. It demanded new structures and more space. But after the last ones he needed to make this ones better.

The room was filled with soft jazz as he looked over the map and then at the games, a headache forming.

"Too much work for you?"

A voice he thought he would never hear in a situation like this one asked mocking him.

In-ho did not turn when Gi-hun entered the room, wearing clothes that resembled his own. The shaped mask removed.

"Its thanks to you that I have to make this games better" In-ho bite back getting a laught from Gi-hun

"The VIPs did not like seeing two lovers die last game and lose to me?" He asked getting a sound from In-ho

"Of course not. They are greedy pigs we both know it" In-ho responded turning back to look at Gi-hun.

If anyone would have told him that ex-player 456 and him would work together at the island In-ho would have actually laughted because the idea was absurd.

But here they were now. Usually Gi-hun was more on the security part. Kind of funny since he once wanted to end the games. But he also took a big part on picking up who the different recruiters have to to for.

"What do you want?" In-ho finally asked knowing Gi-hun would prefer to be on his part of the island than with him.

"I was just passing and seeing the calendar" Gi-hun said taking a seat. "The deadlines are close and your progress has been...rather slow"

"Im working on it. I will have it" In-ho said giving him his back again.

"I know its because of that woman and your kid. The kid's birthday is coming right?"

"Careful with what you say" In-ho said now fully turned killing Gi-hun with a simple look. But Gi-hun was not affected by it.

"You know, I did suspect you two were closer than what you two let out during the games...but to think you were the father.."

"Get to the point Seong" In-ho grunted

"I have a daughter too. She its in America as you know. Everyday I ask myself If i did the right thing getting back here and not going to her..."

In-ho said nothing already feeling where this conversation was going.

"But I change. I was never a good father. I tried but it was never enough. And after the first games..I was a mess. I could not see myself raising her. No after what I have done"

The jazz music played for a few seconds before he continued

"But its different with you. (Y/N) met you after you did win and while you were the only one moving this games. You two managed to connect and even create a life"

"She thinks im dead. And its better that way" In-ho said trying to even convince himself

"Dont you miss her ? Or your kid ? Dont you ever think on going to them ?"

Of course he did. Multiple times. The first two years were hell for him. Getting updates from Jun-ho about you and his son. His son who you have named after him. He did play the idea of going to you, maybe telling you everytning...but he was also scared. How would you react to it ? Knowing that after everything he was alive and on top of that he was the one behind the games ? No. He could never do that to you.

"Of course I miss her, I miss both of them. But seeing me would only make her miserable. She has my brother to help her out and my son has a great uncle. They dont need me"

Even it hurted so much to say it.

"Im just saying, I believe you have a chance. Your situation with her may be....complicated but if there is love then there is a chance"

"Since when did you become a psycologist?"

Gi-hun just laughted but without meaning it. Standing up he acomodated his clothes back.

"Im just saying, you may live in misery the rest of your life if you dont do something"

"Get out" Were the only words Gi-hun got in response.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Present time:

In-ho ran behind Yejun and the others, ice cream in hand.

"Cmon run faster!!" Yejun called over his shoulder and In-ho tried to without letting his ice cream fell.

A hard air breeze hit him on the face pulling out his hat.

In-ho watched it flew back, running towards it. It was a hat Jun-ho his uncle had got him. He could not afford to lose it.

Plus you would be pissed and would remove his game rights for a week at least.

Just as he was about to pick it up another hand a bigger one did.

Both In-ho's looked at each other. One not knowing the connection they did share and the other with the hear up in his throat at the sight.

Yes He had seen the pictures, but there was nothing that could compare on seeing his son on the flesh. He had his eyes and your hair. Being a perfect combination of both of you.

"Sir...thats my hat. Can I please get it back?" In-ho asked keeping a safe distance from the strange man.

In-ho smiled nodding offering the hat back, his son eyed him for a moment then took it making sure it was well put on his head.

"You should not lose it. Its a good hat" In-ho said getting a look from his son who gave a bow back.

"No I wont, thanks Sir!" He responded bowing

"I dont think your mother would like you losing it"

He saw his son's eye get bigger and he almost laughted at it.

"N-no, she would hate me for that"

"Hate its a strong world. She would be angry but im sure it would pass" In-ho said now a full smile on his face.

"...Yeah but she wont let me play videogames if I lost it" He hear his son whisper. He also took notice of the ice cream now starting to melt. He pulled out his wallet and handed some wones to his son who did not move.

"Your ice cream is melting, this is so you can buy a new one"

"Mom says to never accept things from strangers that everything has a price" His son responded making him smile even more. 

"Your mom its very intelligent, if I tell you my name would you accept it?"

He saw his son brain go wild but at the end nodding.

"Im Oh In-ho"

If his son's eyes could get any bigger then these would be out of his face. His mouth open in suprise.

"You....you and me- we"

"IN-HO!! IN-HO DEAR WHERE ARE YOU" The desesperated screams from you cut his son's words off.

"MOM!!" In-ho called turning back seeing you going towards him with Yejun and Yejun's mom behind.

"What did I tell you about staying with Yejun?" You asked checking him for any injury "What happened ? Why did you got separated?"

"A strong wind took my hat and then this man returned it and even offered me money to buy ice cream since mine is melting-"

"Men? What men?" Yejun's mom asked looking around

"What? He was right...there" In-ho said to a now empy space with only some wones on the floor now.

"We should go back. I will tell the police to check this zone" Yejun's mom adviced you taking his own kid's hand.

"Yes, lets go In-ho"

"But mom! The Man and I had the same name!!" In-ho said all too happy to notice the look on your face.

"What..."

"Yes!! He told me his name was In-ho too, and that since I knew his name I could take the money"

For a few seconds you did not move or say a thing. It could...no it could not be. Maybe it was another men with the same name.

"Lets go In-ho. I will get you another ice cream on the way home"

"But mom the money..."

"Leave it, and you are grounded"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

For your son that day was lost in his memory like many others. For you it was a day that made you get hope back. Hope that maybe just maybe In-ho was alive and because of the danger he was not showing himself.

But even if that was the case. Time passed, and never a thing like that one happened again.

Jun-ho had listened to your rant that same night on the phone trying to calm you down while thinking that he would kill his brother. He came next day as a suprise visit for In-ho but it was to make sure you were alright.

And so, four more years passed. Your son now ten years old full of life. A top student, a kind soul.

He was now able to go on his own between home, school and your flower shop.

Yes, after lots of goes and backs you managed to start your own flower shop. It did take time but you were glad you did. It was the only one in the town and was near your house and In-ho's school.

Jun-ho had said it was fitting for you. He was there during all the tedious process till the big opening.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"I will be going for his birthday" Jun-ho said to his brother in his aparment in Seoul.

"He will be ten by now" In-ho whispered drinking some beer Jun-ho had.

"Yes, (Y/N) planned a big party for him" Jun-ho said smiling at your different ideas

"She is a good mother" In-ho said smiling looking at the empy glass

"...You should go"

"Werent you the one who did threat me last time?  If I did show myself again ?" In-ho asked

"Thats because you ran away like a coward. (Y/N) was paranoid for days and her mental state got bad"

"Yes, thats why its better to go on like this"

"Really? Is this what you want? See your kid grow up from the shadows?"

"Jun-ho.."

"Listen I know, what you do is dangerous and you lied to her. But now its Gi-hun who does most of the things at the Island. You are there more like a face of sorts"

"Jun-ho I lied to her. She thinks im dead"

"I know. But so did I. I lied to her to help you. But I know her, I have know her for the past nine years. She still loves you, and I dare to say she still waits for you to return to her"

"She is good, but she wont ever forgive me.."

"Thats were you are wrong. Will she be angry? Yes, and with reason but will that anger be bigger than her love for you? No. Trust me on this. That woman...she loves you too much. You dont deserve her"

"I know"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

"Uncle!!" The voice of In-ho sounded between the laught and other kid's voices.

Jun-ho smiled, seeing how tall he had got. Each day he looked more and more like a perfect mix of you and his brother.

"Hello Sport" Jun-ho called back messing up his hair.

"Stop it! Mom does this enough" In-ho said separating and re doing his hair.

"Does that mean you dont want your birthday gift  ? Directly from Seoul ?" Jun-ho asked crossing his arms and smiling when he saw the quick change in expression.

"No-no!! Of course I want it" In-ho said taking Jun-ho's shirt and seeing behind his back. "Where is it?!!"

"Wait wait, your birthday its tomorrow" Jun-ho said pulling him away but still smiling "Why dont we get some ice coffee for your mom and some ice chocolate for you?" He asked and his newphew nodded.

"Yes! Mom said there is someone getting married next town and they left her tons of work" In-ho started to say walking towards the coffee store knowing the route by memory with Jun-ho besides him.

"Really? And she can handle it alone?"

"She hired someone! Not sure who he is, does not talk much. Dark hair and kind of tall"

Probably someone In-ho himself sent Jun-ho tought rolling his eyes

"Uncle?"

"Mhm?"

"Are you upset?" In-ho inoccent voice asked "I- mom says we need to look out for these who care about and I dont want you to feel bad" In-ho said looking to the side.

Jun-ho smiled, his heart doing jumps at his sweet nephew. It did seem that he had got your caring personality.

"Im fine Sports. Dont worry, lets get you that ice chocolate and a drink for your mom"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

This is a bad idea. In-ho's mind said as he walked the streets down where your store was. You should go back, nothing good will come from this.

In-ho stood just a few meters away from your shop. He sweet alluring smell of the different flowers hitting him.

He saw the guy he had sent to help you (not that you needed to know that) get out with lots of boxes and putting them inside a ban. He drove off. In-ho knew it.

It was now or never, the last chance.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

You moved around the back of the store. Checking different recipes and dates. The weeding next Town have proved to be a challenge for you. So much you had to hire someone to help you out.

But things were going good. Even if some days your body hurt from moving so much. Or your fingers tremble from making the different flower arrangements.

It was worth at the end, seeing the happiness in others. It gave you a sense of...comfort, and part of you liked to think that In-ho watched over you. Specially when you tended the greenhouse right next to the store. The natural smell and the connection with the dirt...it felt good. It grounded yourself.

You would close your eyes and imagine that he was standing there. Just watching you work with a rare yet soft smile, one that was saved only for you.

"Mom? What are your favorite flowers?" You kid had asked when he was seven years old while you two planted some seeds.

"My favorite flower...and from where comes the question?" You asked back passing him something to clean himself up.

"Well...I like games. And animals, but I have a favorite one...and you like flowers"

"So I must have a favorite one then?" You smiled and he nodded

"Well....I think my favorite ones are Iris..and do you know why?"

He said no and you explained.

"There is a thing, called Language of Flowers, and in them Iris means Hope. I believe its a good thing to have"

"But we studied languages at class and that was never mentioned!" In-ho said somehow offended by the fact that such a thing was never teached to him.

"Oh my dear, I can teach you if you want" In-ho agreed almost getting up to go for some papper and pens but you stopped him.

"Shower first"

"But mom-" A single look from you made him stop "Alright"

A few weeks passed, while you were at the store In-ho entered running, almost knocking a few flowers.

"In-ho! No running inside the store" You said getting up and going towards him but he ignored you pulling out his notebook.

"A chrysanthemum Mom!! You are a chrysanthemum" In-ho said signaling a drawing of the flower then an arrow and a silly draw of you.

"What..."

"Because, chrysanthemum means eternal beauty !! And mom, you are beautiful and eternal" In-ho said showing you the meaning under the draw.

You cried hugging him.

"Mom? Are you...crying?"

"No Son...im just happy. Im just really happy.

The sound of the door opening indicating that a new costumer have arrived made you came back. Not hearing your son or Jun-ho's voice let you knew it was not them.

"One moment please!" You said giving the flower arrangement its final details, the white and pastel yellows giving the cala flowers its final touch.

You left it there and went to the front moving your hair, to try and look less of a mess.

"Welcome! How can I help you-"

Your world stopped. The air in your lungs vanished and your vision went from zero to thousand. A few tears forming.

There was no way, you blinked, maybe you were seeing things again.

But no, there he was. In the flesh. Chest raising and falling indicating that he was alive.

Your In-ho, the Man you loved.

"Hello (Y/N)...we meet again"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Notes:

ITS FINALLY HERE!! THE END OF THIS SERIES. Thanks a lot for these who read this since part one and waited till this end. I had a hard personal time but was able to pull it out!! I truly hope you like it.

And if you are reading this after you read this in one go Thanks too!!

This was my first series. I never really planned on making one. I wanted it to be two parts but I kept adding things. And then the ending got longer as my brain gave my more ideas.

And yes I used flowers for meaning, I google them! So if something is wrong...well sorry.

Questions you may have:

Is this really the ending?

A) YES!! This is the ending. Its happy or sad ? Not even I know, I would call it bittersweet.

Would you ever write more for this?

A) If I do its going to be pieces of them as family but nothing complex.

What was In-ho doing these nine years?

A) Working as the Front Man and being too scared too approach the love of his life. But he kept a close eye on her.

Why is Gi-hun now helping with the games?

A) Easy, because its a fanfic and I wanted that end for him. Besides i feel like it fits him. He is too broken to go back to a normal life.

The guy (Y/N)'s hires is the guard from S2 EP7 ?

A) Well he dies in canon but you can think its him but older!!

Did Jun-ho felt romantic feelings for (Y/N) at some point?

A) Up to you to decide! I dont think (Y/N) would ever move from In-ho so I can assure you. She never slept with Jun-ho or had any interest in him as a romantic partner.

What happened to (Y/N)'s brother?

A) Up to you! But he never shows again in her life and In-ho Jrs does not know about him.

Did my favs survive the games?

A) Again, up to you!!

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

Tags:

@maria-trisha @blueyesuguru @imenekiki @victorie767 @futuristicdefendorfart @heyitsmefall

@love-you-louise @fantasylovestoryme @sleepyycatt @nightdark-dreamdark @lindsay00000 @ourlovesarang @smally97 @zigmasstuff @aleemendoz @the-disaster-in-waiting

@ilovequeen978 @sc4rrc @sylviavf @l4venderia @blueeclipsepaperstudent @annasnape7 @llawlietluv @florgenegrastuff @luv1ze @jspidey5

@moonoteru @saaraahnger @hope4rain19 @soniiyi @angelmoneter @skywalker0809 @ashsallyblue2 @realrintaro @bellstwd @tojisrealwifey @otterluver05 @yuan1819 @spanish-delulu-23 @lisaannwalterlover @yodayyy @tenzko @tinylawyerbluebird @istanstraykids

[lilgarbitch]

The Voice of an Angel- Matt Dierkes

Part One

Pairing: Matt Dierkes x PornBlog!Reader

Cw: Smut, Masterbation (f and m), sappy freak!Matt

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: Doing something a little different. The story seemed to work best if I wrote time in phases, so I hope it doesn’t ruin it😬 And I couldn’t tell you where this idea came from. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone write something like this, but I did the best I could❤️ I hope you enjoy

Tags: @xmads-omensx @dontwantthemoney @theanarchymuse95 @badomensgoodomens

Y/N | Wednesday 2:36 PM

Kicking off the floor and rolling my chair over to my computer, I plug my phone into the cord and begin transferring the audio file. I should really get a microphone for this, but I’m still somewhat new to this… Yeah, I definitely need to start doing research on vamping up my equipment.

I plug my headphones into the laptop once the file was finished so I could listen back over the audio, making sure it’s suitable to be posted. I live alone, and literally just made all of these noises out loud, but I still get a little weirded out playing it without headphones and need to be able to listen to every detail, making sure there were no weird noises in the background.

Clicking on the file, my voice starts playing through. It took some time for me to get used to hearing me say certain things and make these noises, hell, it took me a good while to even hit ‘record’ when doing this, but once I got enough praise from people online, it just became routine. 

My slightly over exaggerated moans and whimpers fill my ears, and I can’t lie, I was pleased with the quality. IPhones have good microphones. It sometimes even picked up the sound of my vibrator or how wet I was based on how close I had the mic to me, and my followers always enjoy that.

After spending about twenty minutes editing out small distracting background noises, I opened Twitter and connected the file to a post, captioning it, "You know exactly how to pull these pretty sounds from me,” before hitting post and then proceeding to do the same for my tumblr blog. 

Almost instantly, my phone starts going crazy from those who have my post notifications on, and I read every comment with a smile on my face.

It may seem weird to many people, but I truly enjoy doing this. I get to turn a common activity into a side hustle, and it pleases both guys and girls when they find my pages. And most of them are the sweetest when they reply. They’re usually all horny replies, but unless I post something that instigates them to degrade me, they always choose to be super sweet.

I scroll through some replies and the likes from my followers, and even some who always come back but choose not to follow me because they don’t want others to know. It was nice seeing repeated faces. Like I created a space for them to feel safe to be open about something so lewd. 

That’s when I got a notification from my Cash App that’s linked to my accounts, causing a small smile to form on my face when reading the name. ThotxPleaser had been a loyal follower for a while now. He’s following my Twitter, Tumblr, subscribed to my Patreon, and here he is again, sending me a gift. 

ThotxPleaser- $250

Sounded beautiful as always, Angel❤️ 

I really wished that his gift had caused a bigger smile, but I knew this anonymous person’s actions too well by now. He usually gave me a sweet nickname, but today he just used my pseudonym, Angel, and it wouldn’t be worrying, if he also didn’t send the donation right after I posted, again. He always tried to send appreciation ‘when he had the chance,’ even commenting that he was too busy sometimes and felt bad for seeing my posts so late, so it was abnormal that he was so on top of it for the third post in a row, almost as if he was waiting for my posts as a pick-me-up. I know that was cocky thinking, but he’s said before that my posts have made his day, giving me a grateful gift to prove it, so it wasn’t that far off of an assumption. I just hope he’s doing okay.

Matt | Wednesday 2:59 PM

I crash into my bed with a groan. We’re getting everything situated for tour next week and I’ve been working my ass off doing almost all the work. The boys and our team do the best that they can, but I’m the one they run to when problems surface, and with the dates coming faster and faster, everyone is running rampant with anxiety and constantly on my ass needing help with the most obvious things. I know we’re all stressed but every part of my job other than actually getting them on that tour bus is done. 

I told them all to give me at least the rest of the day off to unwind. Any problems that come to head today can easily be fixed tomorrow. I warned them that I was switching my phone to Do Not Disturb so even if they tried to contact me, I won’t answer.

It was a lie, though. I would never actually do that to them and hopefully they know that. I just need them to understand and leave me be for at least a few hours before I burn out. And, of course, almost right as I thought that, my phone went off. 

With a loud groan, I turned my phone over and glared at it, trying to read what the hell the problem was now, but then my heart skipped as I read the notification. 

Angel💋 

You know exactly how to pull these pretty sounds from me

My breath hitched as I read it and I instantly felt blood rush to my other head. This had to mean that she finally posted a new audio clip. I instantly clicked on it, desperately needing to hear her to put me in a better mood. My fingers eagerly tap at the back of my phone as it takes a minute to load up Twitter, but when it finally does, I see the audio file and click ‘play’. 

I shove my face into my pillow and place my phone next to my head as I let her voice and moans fill my ears. As the audio plays, I can feel myself getting harder. But I am too fucking tired to do anything about that right now. I truly just needed to hear her sweet voice in a time like this. I could listen to her for hours. It doesn’t matter if it’s her talking dirty or making these sweet noises. Hell, she could start a damn podcast and talk about the weather and it would still make my day. Something about her voice always brought me out of any rut that I’m in. 

The audio ends and I finally look back at my phone. I debated on playing it again, just to hear her, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to show her some gratitude and appreciation. 

I open up Cash App, using the account that wasn’t under my real name, and send her a simple note. I didn’t have enough energy to put too much thought into it, but she deserved something after boosting my mood. After I sent it, I closed my phone and shoved my face back into my pillow, this time with a small smile. Within minutes, I was out like a light, dreaming of what she could possibly look like, and having a chance to actually have her speak to me, just to be able to hear more of her voice. 

Y/N | Saturday 6:23 PM

It’s been a few days since the last donation from ThotxPleaser. I try to post a few suggestive posts a day if I’m in the mood, and every single one was instantly liked by him, but that was it. No flirty comments, just what seemed like he was already on his phone when I posted and a simple like. I know I shouldn’t worry about a random follower, but he has always been so sweet and supportive. Plus, as creepy as it may seem, I end up paying close attention to my supporters, and it was obvious that he was acting different than usual. 

I tried pushing the worry out of my mind the best I could, not needing to stress over a damn audio blog supporter, but I couldn’t help the fact that my mind wandered, thinking of what could possibly be happening in his life that he was too busy to show his usual appreciation, but still forcing him to be one of the first likes on every single post, audio or not. What could he possibly be dealing with that made him seem like he was so busy that he barely had time to do much, yet he still went out of his way to give me a hint of support? Fuck, I’m sounding insane. Am I overthinking this so much that I truly believe this man was using my moaning audios and lewd posts as his main form of serotonin? God, I need to fix my ego. He’s probably just losing interest and slowly weaning me off his attention…Okay, Y/N, he’s a fucking follower. He doesn’t care about ghosting you. You’ve never even spoken. Why are you so obsessed anyway?

I let out a groan, getting annoyed with my own thoughts. I realized that I was staring at the ceiling, worrying about someone I don't even know, so I quickly sat up and grabbed my phone, hoping that doom scrolling could help distract me…and make me feel less embarrassed.

I open Instagram and my eyes instantly land on the story bar. I scroll through the orange and green circles, hoping to find someone interesting, when I finally do. Matt Dierkes had a new story. I click on it and instantly giggle, seeing that, of course, it was another raccoon meme. Since this was my personal account, I liked his story and went on with doom scrolling.

After seeing only reposted memes and people living their best life, I realized this wasn’t going to give me the entertainment I needed. I close the app and look at my others, before opening Tumblr. Matt was still on my mind. I always found him so cute. I’ve enjoyed Bad Omens’ music for a while now, and definitely found the boys attractive, but something about their tour manager had always caught my eye. He said whatever he wanted and enjoyed things without judgment. I really liked how unique and undeniably him he let himself be.

I try to scroll through my feed, but with him still in my mind, my fingers trailed over to the search bar and I found myself looking up another fanfiction about him. 

After a few…okay maybe a little too many one shots and short stories since I was free tonight, I landed a quite…spicy story, leading me to decide this was the perfect time to create more content. 

With the story playing in my mind like a movie, I set my phone up and hit record. I was too lazy to grab a toy, and was definitely worked up enough that I could easily get this done manual style. Lying back, I slipped my hand down my pants with his face flashing behind my eyes. In the story, he had a little more dominant energy, so I began imagining him taking what he wanted.

My breath picked up as I felt his hands sliding up my thighs, using enough pressure to keep them held to the sides. He had this almost hungry look on his face as I stared down at him. His fingers finally reached the hem of my panties before powerfully yet gracefully sliding them down, like he was teasing me, making me wait. 

I could feel his warm calloused fingers grazing over the softness of my thighs as they trailed towards my core. I began to squirm in anticipation, desperately wanting to grab them and bring them where I needed him most, but I knew if I did, he’d find a way to punish me. 

Finally his hand reached the apex of my thighs and I gasped as he grazed his fingers through my folds. 

I’m getting too desperate, I have to get this little fantasy sped up. I start circling my clit and letting out a soft whine. 

His tongue passes through my slit before finally focusing on the bundle of nerves. My breath picks up as he perfectly laps at it, occasionally circling it with his tongue. As he adds more pressure, I can feel myself getting closer. I look down and see his face between my thighs, causing a small gasp to escape my lips. Once our eyes meet, I let out a breathy moan as my head falls back against the pillow. I can’t control the noises leaving me, the sound of his tongue lapping at my wet core and the image burned into my mind of him staring up at me causing the pleasure to intensify.

As I reached my peak, my mind overwhelmed with ecstasy, I forgot where I was. 

“Ma-“ I let out, before quickly gasping and covering my mouth, hoping I could play that off as a gasp of pleasure and not shock at me almost ruining my audio by saying his name. After catching my breath, I stop the recording and sit there. 

Fuck.

Matt | Saturday 9:47 PM

The guys and I were hanging out at Noah and Jesse’s house, telling ourselves that we needed a night off to relax and leave the stress behind for a few hours. Everyone’s mostly packed and we have at least tonight to just forget about everything, so they were all a few beers and shots in and it was getting kind of rowdy. I made sure to keep my eye on everyone to make sure they didn’t do something stupid. 

I was sitting on the couch as the rest of them either destroyed the kitchen, trying to drunkenly make snacks, or hung out in the backyard, just chatting or getting excited over revisiting places on the tour they enjoyed. I was silently watching them all, using this time to try and force some relaxation into my mind, knowing we agreed that we could take a break from work. I know I could have done this at home, but doing anything with these boys was better than doing it alone, since I could always end up hunched over in laughter at any moment.

I stare off, listening to them loudly argue over which cheese to put in a grilled cheese, and just let my mind wander over how life has been going lately. Thinking about what still needs to be done and what fun things I could try to do before I was slaving away for 3 months on tour, since even when I tried my hardest, I couldn’t push the thought of work away. But then I was pulled out of my thoughts by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that Angel had posted a new audio. God, this is exactly what I needed right now. A small smile formed on my lips, but I quickly went back to a straight face, not wanting anyone to see and question who made me smile or find out that it was a goddamn porn blog. 

I glanced around the room, making sure that everyone’s attention was occupied, before sneaking my way off to the bathroom. I close and lock the door behind me and pull out my Airpods. I know the house was loud, but the thought of them hearing her voice coming from the bathroom was not something I wanted to deal with. 

I put an Airpod in and click on the notification. Once it loaded, I pressed play on the audio. It was a short one, but it was definitely enough to put me in a better mood. Instantly, her sweet sounds filled my ear. Soft airy moans played through my Airpod and I could feel myself growing in my pants. I debated whether it was weirder to jerk off in their bathroom or to leave the bathroom with a hard on, and decided on the latter. 

As her voice played through my headphones like a beautiful melody, I reached my hands down and pulled the waistbands of my shorts and boxers down, letting my growing cock spring free. I turned my hat around, pushing my hair back to keep it out of my face as I leaned my hips against the sink and gripping the edge with one hand. I wrapped my other hand around the base and firmly gripped it. 

She let out soft whimpers with an occasional ‘Fuck’ and I leaned down and let a trail of spit reach my tip, biting back a groan as I collected it and used it to slicken my movements. It was just the perfect amount of lubrication to move at the pace I needed without making any noise. 

I brought my shirt to my teeth and closed my eyes, biting down as I fought back the noises collecting in my throat. I was close to biting through my lip and I didn’t need to get a noticeable mess on my nice tee. Explaining the teeth marks in the fabric would be easy, if their drunken asses even noticed. Her breath picked up, a telltale sign she was close, and that itself caused a tightening in my stomach. I listened to her moans getting higher and higher, subconsciously pumping myself to the beats of her breath. But then, she let out a moan I had never heard before. They were usually whiney and breathless, but this time she used her full chest voice, moaning out a ‘Maa-‘ before gasping and finally letting out her usual whiney sinful moan as she came. 

Something in my brain took that personal. It sounded too close to her moaning my name for me to prepare for the instant rush of pleasure taking over my body. I quickly cupped a hand over my tip as my eyes rolled back, my mind replaying that single sinful syllable over and over as I spilled into my fist. 

I probably bit a hole in my shirt with how hard my teeth clenched as I forced the deep loud moan from coming out. But I didn’t care. I had to hold my weight up with the sink behind me and force myself to catch my breath through my nose as the pleasure in my stomach lasted longer than it ever has before. 

After a few moments, the feeling of my cum threatening to drip from my hand caused me to finally open my eyes and drop my shirt from my teeth as I spun around and turned on the sink. I quickly washed all the evidence down the sink and tucked myself back into my pants before looking up.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, grimacing in post-nut clarity as it hit me how gross what I just did was. Not me jerking off to her, that was normal, but the fact that I had gotten so obsessed that I couldn’t wait until I got home to listen and react. 

I hung my head as I thought about how the fuck I was supposed to get through tour if I couldn’t stop myself from listening to her audios, but also definitely wouldn’t have a way to hide my reaction from them. I just wish I could hear her in any way other than something so erotic. That could hold me over. As long as I didn’t pavlov myself into getting hard just at the sound of her. 

I reach up and fix my cap before grabbing my phone and sending her a like and a comment. 

ThotxPleaser- Could never find a better way to make my day, beautiful. 

I softly laughed at myself as I sent it. I knew I was a freak. She probably thought I was a creep the way it looks like I stalk her with how fast I respond to her posts. But I couldn’t care less. She brought me a happiness I couldn’t explain. It wasn’t the context of her posts. It was her. And I had to show my appreciation, even if I just looked like one of many horndogs in her comments and donations. 

Wait…That was it. 

I fumble with my phone to open up Cashapp, before realizing how long I’ve been in the bathroom. I make my way back to the living room as I think of the perfect way to ask. Sitting down, I debate on the most convincing price to get her to even think of helping me out here. Tour starts Tuesday and with us all together, missing a chunk of change won’t be a problem. I go back and forth in my thoughts for a few minutes, writing and rewriting my message until I think it’s perfect. Finally, I send it and cross my fingers. 

ThotxPleaser- $1,000

All I want is to hear your voice more. Talk about your day, how the weather is treating you, or rant about a TV show you’re watching. I’d listen to you forever. All I ask is if you’d be willing to send me voice memos here and there to get me through my days. Name your price, sunshine. 

TO BE CONTINUED

[mikimakiboo]

The Favorite Uncle

I know I'm supposed to work on both the Bitty fic and the next Time Travelers chapter but shhhhht I wanted to write some Dream x Killer first because I just noticed I never wrote about it so I had to fix that

This a sort of part two to A Second Chance ! Featuring Driller ( Dream x Killer ship ), I say sort of because it's more of a short story taking place after the events than a real follow up, but anyway !

Short summary: Dream and Killer are competing with each other to be Moroz's favorite uncle, it ends up in a very close tie

Tw: suggestive but nothing too explicit or nsfw

Killer was on the couch, watching the little kid play with some wooden construction blocks on the coffee table in front of him. Moroz, Nightmare and Error's kid, he had turned five years old a few months ago, who would have thought the two most dangerous skeletons in the multiverse would have such an angel of a son together ? Killer really liked this kid, they all did, and he very much wanted his little nephew - because they all considered themselves his uncles - to like him too. He wanted to be somewhat special to him, he didn't know if it was because it was the first time in years that a child wasn't afraid of him, or because it was his boss's - his friend's - kid, or even because it was something new again, something new but not destructive, something new that wouldn't keep him up at night with his soul aching with guilt, the only thing he was sure of was that he loved this kid so much.

But there was an obstacle: Dream. Him and Nightmare had made peace when he was still pregnant, and Dream really did his best to improve himself and gain his brother's trust again, Killer had to admit he came from far but did great progress. But, he was Moroz's biological uncle, often came to visit them, and never arrived without a gift for either the child or his brother. Killer knew it was stupid of him to feel irritated by that, after all Nightmare was more than happy to have reconnected with his twin and Moroz was happy to see his uncle, but Killer had that hovering, displeasing, thought that Moroz might prefer his biological uncle over him. He kept repeating that he didn't have a favorite, he loved all of his five uncles the same, but Killer couldn't help but feel behind Dream. He knew who Dream was after all, he knew he could get anyone to love him if he wanted to, so what guaranteed him he wouldn't soon be the favorite uncle ? Killer couldn't stand that thought, even more when Dream gained the right to babysit three years ago and his anxiety doubled.

And so a rivalry began between them, a harmless one, that consisted mainly on spoiling their nephew more than the other would. It was a little war that they had been taking very seriously. No one got in the way, seeing how the two weren't hurting anyone, how Moroz was simply happy to spend time with them, and how they both seemed to slowly start to consider it as a game more than a fight, because upping each other was fun, but Killer soon started to make some well placed teases, to which Dream never hesitated to answer with more teasy remarks. Ironically, they started to know each other better with their rivalry, to lower their guard when around the other, they couldn't say they trusted each other, but there wasn't any animosity in their interactions anymore, they weren't scared to mess a little with the other from time to time.

Dream wasn't as insufferable as Killer first thought, but still, hearing his name so often in Moroz's mouth was rather annoying. Was he that special that the kid loved staying at his place so much ? What was Dream doing that he wasn't ? He didn't like the thought of missing something, not when it had to do with his nephew. He got up from the couch.

- Hey 'Roz, I'm gonna go pay a little visit to someone, you stay here and be good, kay ?

Moroz looked up at him, a red cube in his hand, and nodded before turning his attention back to his construction, putting the cube on top of a yellow one. If there was any problem, his other uncles weren't far and his parents were on the floor just above. Killer smiled at him before teleporting away.

He appeared in a small house, decorated in a way that made it look warm and welcoming, much different than the castle, even if the warmth improved with the arrival of the baby. Killer heard noise from the kitchen and went straight to it, knowing where it was as it wasn't the first time he came here. He sat at the table.

Dream was cleaning the counter of his kitchen, his dishes were drying on the side of the sink. He turned around to grab a dishcloth and almost dropped it when he jumped, surprised by the newcomer sitting at his table, staring at him with a sharp smile and empty sockets. Killer. Since when was he watching him ?

- Will you ever learn to knock before entering ?

Dream complained, turning to his counter to resume drying it. It wasn't the first time Killer intruded in his house, he often payed him visits, at first to warn him not to try anything against Nightmare or the baby, then to "make sure he wasn't plotting", and finally to annoy him as a past time activity.

- Why would I ? Scaring you is way funnier.

Killer replied, satisfied to have succeeded once again in surprising him.

- Why are you here ? Dream asked, ignoring the mockery.

- Can't I just pay you a visit because I missed you ? Killer joked again.

- As if you would ever miss me. Dream huffed.

Killer didn't reply right away, looking at the guardian taking the dishes one by one to dry them off with the cloth and pile them on the now clean counter.

- You're not special. He finally said.

- I'm sorry ? Dream turned, confused.

Killer didn't move, his head resting on his fist with his elbow on the table, he was still smiling, but Dream could tell he was irritated.

- I said you're not special.

- I heard you. Dream cut him. But I never said I was special.

Killer straightened his back.

- The kid seems to really like you. He keeps talking about the stuff you two do and how cool you are.

Dream arched a brow.

- And ? You've got a problem with him liking his uncle ? He asked as he resumed drying the dishes. Or maybe you're here for advice ?

Killer's smile twitched.

- I don't need your advice, Star Boy.

- Well you sound like you do, why would you be here then ?

Killer stood up, slamming a hand on the table.

- I do not need advice !

Dream put his cloth on the side, grabbing the plates to put them back in the cabinet.

- Really ? Then why are you here ? Are you scared he might like me more than you ?

Dream smiled, knowing what string to pull to get a reaction out of the murderer. It always worked.

- You think I'm scared ? I'm not scared, if anything you should be the one who's scared. Killer replied through gritted teeth.

Dream turned to look at him, a faint smile on his face. Killer hated that stupid smile, like he knew something but didn't want to say it. Dream had changed a lot since the truce with his brother, his behavior changed, and some new facets of his personality were showing. Being mischievous was one of them, and Killer couldn't decide if he hated or liked it, given that he always fell into his traps.

- Scared of what ?

- Scared of me.

Dream chuckled.

- I'm not scared of you. But I scare you.

Killer took a few steps closer as Dream put his back against his counter, crossing his arms as he looked at the taller skeleton, smiling.

- You do not scare me. You think you can intimidate me ? Please, I've fought you countless times, I know your weaknesses, you're no match for me.

Dream's smile only widened as Killer approached.

- Why are you smiling ? You think I would hold back just because you made peace with your brother ?

- I know you wouldn't. But I also know that you're not dumb, you know it wasn't what I meant.

Killer stopped in front of him. Dream didn't stop smiling, and the intensity in his gaze told Killer that he really wasn't afraid. He knew he wouldn't start a fight, they hadn't fought in years, Dream knew they were past that, he didn't have to worry. If really Killer was pissed, he would leave, he knew better than fighting his boss's brother when they established a truce.

- I am not scared of you. In any way.

Dream tilted his head.

- You think so ?

Killer frowned. He didn't like this conversation, where Dream was slowly guiding him. He came here to tell him he wasn't special, that he should give up trying to be the best, he didn't intend on losing control like that. He got closer again.

- Why would you think I'm scared of you ? You think just because you're my boss's brother you're above me ? Think you could hurt me ?

- I don't. He tilted his head the other way. You're not necessarily scared of me, but I make you afraid, that you can't deny.

Killer slammed his fists on the counter, on each side of Dream. He didn't flinch.

- I'm not afraid !

- Then why are you so defensive ? He asked with the same calm tone he used since the start.

- I...

Killer didn't know what to say, staying right in front of him, so close to him, as Dream was looking so sure of himself, so confident, while Killer was only losing his composure. What was Dream doing to him ? It wasn't because of his aura, it couldn't be, it didn't work on him, his soul was too damaged to be affected by Dream's aura, and yet he felt so... vulnerable. He never felt vulnerable in front of Dream before, if anything, it would normally have been the contrary.

- I am stronger than you...

- I know. Dream bent forward, a little closer.

Killer looked at him, his fists shaking on the counter.

- I.. am not scared of you...

- Then what are you afraid of ? He whispered.

What was he afraid of ? He wasn't afraid of anything, he certainly wasn't afraid of Dream, but his fists were shaking and he could feel his breath fasten. Why was he so nervous ? He shouldn't be nervous. He was the one who came here, he was the one who had something to say. He just had to tell Dream he would never take his place and leave, why was he still here ? He just had to warn him, to remind him he wasn't special, that he wouldn't be the favorite uncle, that he wouldn't erase him. Did Dream want to erase him ? If he did, would Moroz let him ? Would Moroz prefer Dream over him ?

- I don't... want to be behind... he shakily admitted.

- Is that what you're afraid of ? Being left behind ?

Dream looked at him, his soft gaze planted in Killer's empty sockets, his face so close to his. There wasn't mockery in his tone, he wasn't playing with him, he wasn't tricking him. Killer stared back, shaking slightly, why was he so weak ? Whow did Dream make him look so easy to read ? He was supposed to be a constant enigma, even his friends couldn't quite tell what was happening in his head sometimes, and yet Dream seemed to put his finger on every little secret he had. How did he do that ? How did he manage to pierce through his layers with such ease ?

- I... have been a tool for so long... I want to be special.. for someone... really special...

All he wanted was to be someone's special person, sure he had his friends in the castle, but Error had Nightmare, Nightmare had Error, Dust and Horror were practically if not already dating, Cross had his best friend Epic... the only one Killer could have been special to was Moroz, and he tried so hard to be, to make him happy, be present... and Dream was so nice, so sweet, so bright, how could he ever hate him ? How could Moroz not prefer him ? He was everything Killer wasn't, and he couldn't help but fear he would take his place...

- That's what I wanted to hear...

Dream murmured, and with that he put a hand on Killer's shoulder, and closed the small distance between their lips...

It was soft, soft and warm, unexpected, but not unpleasant. Killer didn't move at first, not fully believing what he was living, but when Dream drew back he put a hand on his hip, bringing him closer once again to take a new taste of his lips.

When they looked at each other, Dream smiled.

- I'm not looking to take your place, it has never been my intention, you don't have to be afraid about that.. he gently caressed his cheek, looking at the faint gray eyelight in Killer's right socket, you are one very unique person, I don't think I have ever met someone even remotely like you before.. you're very special.. so very interesting.. I would love to know more about you..

Oh how Killer liked hearing those words, feeling this delicate touch, feeling Dream's body pressed against his... without thinking, he wrapped his second arm around the guardian's waist, and kissed him again, bending over on the counter, Dream bending with him as he passed his arms around his neck. He only drew back to catch his breath, staying close.

- Maybe you're not that bad either...

Dream chuckled, biting his lip as he felt Killer's hand start to caress his side, and with one look, they both knew how they would spend the rest of their day...

Their little war seemed to cease after that day, and even though nobody was supposed to know why, they all noticed that Killer seemed less anxious, calmer, and Dream and him were bad at hiding their hickeys, and what a coincidence that they always appeared after Killer's little visits to a "friend's house"...

They found it amusing, they were all expecting it, and Killer seemed happy. Why wouldn't he be ? Dream made him feel special, he had seen him in ways that nobody else ever saw him, he knew how to read him but never used it to harm him, truly, Killer felt more peaceful with him, more vulnerable, but it was a type of vulnerability that he could get used to...

And Moroz was very happy to get to do activities with his two uncles at the same time.

[mischiefmaker615]

Use You (Loki Love Story) Ch.2

Summary: Loki shows up at your brothel with an offer. What could go wrong?

Requested song inspiration: Use Me by Johnny Blue Skies & Dove Cameron & Diplo

Note: thank you all for your interest!! tbh i was surprised this took an interest so i love you all for your support and love!!

~TAG LIST OPEN just let me know

What threw you off was that there was a spare horse waiting for you outside amongst the guards. Almost as if he was prepared for your acceptance.. you just merely told yourself it was just another way to get home rather than your usual walking.

Loki’s hand never left yours until he made sure you had gotten up onto your horse safely- you’ve ridden before but you supposed it was just the gentleman in him.. right? Or perhaps it was to make sure you didn’t back out and run.. especially when the guards moved their own horses to surround you both while the two of you began riding back to the palace.

What would be waiting for you.. you weren’t sure if you’d go back to your own chambers, or resume your usual duties.. you were technically off right? You weren’t prepared to have walked out of your second job.. but you had.. what would you do tomorrow, or would your new role take place immediately?

‘’you think to much.’’

Gods.. please tell me he doesn’t have the ability too-

‘’I can see it on your face, I cannot read your thoughts if that is what creases your brow.’’ Loki smirked and looks at you briefly over his shoulder while his horse is slightly ahead of yours. His cape brew gently behind him, the word majestic breathed right in front of you while the setting sun flashed every now and again against his armor while his slender fingers held the reins. Much like how he took your hands in his.. control yet gentle.. your eyes raised up to find him looking at you again, causing your cheeks to redden and your eyes to move forward.

“your role in the palace will be eliminated. By strictly belonging to me now, you shall have free range amongst the palace until I am in need of you or have dismissed you.’’ He explained, seeming to have read your thoughts while you felt the redness in your cheeks grow.

‘in need of you..’ that’s right.. you were his whore now.. what would it be like with Loki? He said wherever, whenever.. he wouldn’t dare pull public displays would he? Although the trickster was known to amuse himself in other’s discomfort, then perhaps?? You sent yourself wanting to shrink into yourself, hide away at the very thought. What was wrong with you? It’s not like you hadn’t done it before- though your job was strictly in the bedroom.. perhaps you were merely overthinking like he said and amused such things would happen in public when really, it might now..

You were his and his alone.. but does that mean he would have free range to others at the same time? He could.. he was a royal after all, he could do whatever he wants.. your eyes glanced at his again, seeing they were yet again on you and your blushed, knowing you were overthinking again and he knew it, earning a laugh from him while he began speeding up his horse with yours following without an order.

‘’w-what am I to do when.. I am not needed?” you asked, your voice a bit bouncy while your horse came up along side his at the same pace, seeming to almost follow nonverbal orders while he smiled and looked over at you.

‘’I suppose whatever you see fit to amuse yourself with. I’m sure you’ll have far more time now in the library.’’ He offered and you couldn’t help but stare at him while his eyes moved forward again.

How long as he been watching you to know that.. why had he been watching you.. he kind of confessed earlier, yet there was no way it could have been true.. he could have anyone he wanted.. why you?

Your thoughts seem to repeat themselves while you followed behind him, having to quicken your pace while he walked through the halls after you both had arrived back. His posture showed every ounce of a royal, back straight and chin up- most moved out of the way while they bowed, almost as if they were prepared for him to bite if he got to close. You never saw him be cruel.. then again, you never really saw him around- most rumors just same from his chambermaids.

They would talk of him being rough in bed, cruel and dismissive, bored and uninterested in most conversations. You never picked up any of that with the moments you’ve shared with him.. and there was no way he could be pretending right now because what was to gain out of that? Youd be in this position regardless if he was cruel or a gentleman.

Your thoughts snapped out of your head as soon as you felt yourself ram into something solid. Opening your eyes, all you could see was green and your heart nearly jumped into your throat. Taking a quick step back, you raised your palms into a surrender position while he glanced casually over his shoulder while his hand stilled on the door handle.

‘’I admire your boundless mind darling, but you might hurt yourself if you are unaware of your surroundings one day.’’ He gently warned and moved to the side while he opened the door.

Just by the pine and.. some sort of masculine cologne, you could tell it was his chambers before you even looked inside. You suddenly felt shy, as if something scary awaited for you inside and you felt your body tense. Your shoes probably would have slid forward if Loki hadn’t given you an encouraged shove from your mid back, making you walk inside before your eyes took in everything.

You had never been inside a royal’s chambers before- only the chambermaid’s. your job was to tend to literally everything else in the palace- from the dining halls to scrubbing the floors. Everything reminded you of a Victorian style bedroom, but with more.. gold and green.. it was luxury and yet gave a sense of comfort at the same time.

‘’you’ll be staying here, in your new position.’’

Now you felt your heart in your throat, your eyes widen while you felt the heavy door close behind you. Everything he said was so casual, like no worries or problems at all- of course he wouldn’t though.. he was a royal, what was there to worry about?

You hated the fact that all day you found yourself questioning him- punishment flashing in your eyes while you still couldn’t stop your mouth from squeaking out “what?”

‘’you will be staying here in your new position- will I be repeating myself from now on?” he asked, a little sarcastic but not enough to be considered rude while you shook your head and gave an apologetic bow.

‘’no my prince- it’s just that.. I’m still learning about this position..’’

‘’it’s fairly easy darling.’’ he said simple, walking around you with his cape brushing up against your side while your eyes followed him. ‘’you are to sleep here encase your.. assistance is needed throughout the night.’’ So casual.. ‘’you are to follow and stay at my side until you are dismissed and I expect you to come running and willing when I so much as utter the word, come.’’

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks redden, how he seemed to be saying lewd things without really saying them. Your eyes also watched how he unclipped his cape from his shoulders- the second time you’ve seen it and you couldn’t help but get memorized by how slender and careful his fingers worked. Especially when they snapped in front of your fac- wait what-!

‘’I expect you willing but you also need to start paying attention.’’ Loki warned, irritation hinting in his voice while you nodded quickly and pulled it together.

‘’of course my prince- ..what would happen if I.. refuse?” ‘’you mean, when you choose not to be willing?” he asked, a little amusement danced in his eyes as if I had just told a joke and my eyes quickly dropped to the floor. ‘’are you letting me know you are having second thoughts of our agreement?”

‘’no no- I’m just.. not sure what to expect..’’ you told him, your fingers playing at the fabric of your simple dress at your sides. Somehow you started feeling dirty, even if Loki had used magic to clean you earlier.. then again, your body, not your dress.

‘’does it matter what you should expect? I fully intend on holding up my end of the bargain. Due to your.. previous job, I would assume you’d have no issue with things.’’

Whore.. somehow you felt yourself glaring at the ridiculously soft carpet your shoes seemed to sink into. This was all temporary.. just need enough before you could leave this place.. ‘’..how often will the… the..’’ somehow it was awkward talking about payment, and you glanced up at him to find he had also removed his armor.

‘’pay be?” he finished, amusement back in his voice while clasped his fingers behind his back and approached you, his under leather looking every second that passed sexier while your eyes rose to look up at him. ‘’you shall be paid every time I use you.’’

Your eyes widened. Its not like your usual salary- once every week in large quantities.. large ish.. what happens if he had no use of you for awhile?? How were you going to earn? What happens if he whored another.. you’d be pushed back and stuck here even longer! Your lips began stuttering with incoherent words while you tried to figure out what to say. ‘’but that’s.. that’s not-‘’

‘’one who fails to ask questions upon making a deal is at their own fault darling. however there is no need to fret.’’

The way he leaned down in front of you, both your height differences becoming increasingly aware, made you blush all the same and made you feel small nonetheless.

‘’I do believe you’ll be making quite a lot soon..’’

Tag List: @comehomecomehometous @trash-panda-kitty @kuroturo @lovinglimerence @kathren1sky-blog @soulpiercing @ildflue-17 @navs-bhat

[agirlwithglam]

https://www.tumblr.com/agirlwithglam/760858969670582272/no-guys-you-dont-understand-i-love-myself

How does one get here😭

this was asked a long time ago but i think i finally found the words to write it. (i don't im just bored, sorry!)

so how does one fully love themselves?

getting to that point of my life took time. it took a lot of time. like around 1-2 years of time, and im still not 100% there- i still get hurt sometimes, i'm still emotional and sensitive. but the thing is, that over these 1-2 years i've learnt so much that whenever i'm feeling sad or hurt, i'm able to support myself. i am the first person who shows up for me and does my very best to console and help me. i help myself turn that pain into something even better. i walk myself through what happened and whether i may be overreacting or not. i am the one who is now always always always there for myself.

and i think once i realised this, i genuinely was like "woah." no matter what happens in my life, i will ALWAYS have myself and that thought just soothes me. it relaxes and calms me down. i am no longer scared because there is no reason to be. i know that i cannot control other people, other people will always do what they want to do. they can hurt you, make you happy, hurt you again, even unintentionally. i cannot control their actions, but i can control myself. i can control how i choose to view it and react to it. so every time i get hurt i walk myself through the steps of seeing it a different way.

another thing i did when i was insecure & trying to love myself is that i did affirmations religiously. in the morning doing skincare, i would always repeat affirmations or listen to affirmations. it would be phrases like "i love myself." / "i am beautiful", etc. it's not the sole thing that transformed my love for myself, but it did help a ton with me believing it. (doing affirmations enough time can also help rewire your brain into believing what you keep repeating)

also, you need to realise that you do love yourself. a human's natural state of being is love. return to that state of being. a little baby or a child, they are full of love. they give love, they receive love, they are never ending of love. and they are the purest form of a person for they are themselves before society has told them who to be. so do you realise that you deserve love fully and beyond what you could imagine? and the one person in the whole world that can give you that unlimited love, is yourself. but you must choose to love yourself.

stop constantly returning to the state of insecurity okay? thats not you!! you are not insecure, you just think you are insecure! but in reality, there is NOTHING to be insecure about. someone else could have the exact same quality as you and love it so much! so end this cycle of negativity. choose to live a different, happier, more positive life. its all up to you. u can CHOOSE to be different!

finally, to end with, honey it will take time. just because you don't find yourself loving what you see in the mirror after 1 day, doesn't mean you never will. you don't have to keep changing yourself to love yourself. if your daughter looked like you, would you hate her? would you cringe when you look at her? of course not. treat yourself as your daughter. be gentle with yourself. be there for yourself. show up for yourself. it may take time, but please, don't give up on yourself.

[xviistrings]

your name is ryuji sakamoto and you are a ticking time bomb.

currently, you are sixteen years old; a freshman in high school. you like to run. you're part of the track team. you get along with the other dudes. you love your mom very much, even if she can be a bit of a nut.

your dad had a habit of screaming at her for reasons that largely didn't involve her. he left when you were very young. (tick tick tick.)

the sakamotos are not known for being temperate. your dad was the angriest asshole in the world, your mom has a major attitude problem, and even your grandma shouts curses when she bumps into furniture while wearily stumbling around.

mom believes you can do better than that. you try your damn hardest.

you keep your hereditary petulance under wraps the best you can, but you don't exactly have good role models to base your coping mechanisms on. even the gym coach - kamoshida, you can't ever forget a name like kamoshida - tends to blow up in everyone's faces about every little thing. in his fits of anger, he leaves blazing bruises on the bodies of you and your teammates. (tick tick tick.)

every day, you want to scream. in every conversation with every passerby, there is something, a parasitic beast in your chest, banging on your bones and scraping away at layers itching to explode out of you and scream, but you're better than that. you've found a strategy that works quite well: if you ever feel like you can't hold it in anymore, you simply excuse yourself to the bathroom and scream there.

though, usually, before you've even gotten there, you have already burst. you quietly sob instead of screaming. that isn't enough. (tick tick tick.)

you can't stand the idea of yelling at another person, even if you want to. it makes you feel sick to your stomach. your dad didn't only lash out at your mom; you distinctly remember your small hands flying up to cover your ears, only for them to be smacked back down, allowing a discordant symphony of degradation to flood in.

you remember his eyes, wide open and fixed on you, like a wolf spotting a rabbit. they bored into you, like he wanted to burn his insignia of hate onto your cheek, where everyone could see how much of a "stupid piece of shit" you are, the very same place kamoshida rams his fist into now for the very same reason, he's got that same look, he says the same thing -

you wish you looked more like your mom. maybe, then, you'd be more averse to the idea of spouting insults at your reflection, but that's just not how it is. instead, you have your dad's eyes. (tick tick tick.)

despite how you yearn to, you really do not like raising your voice. you don't like getting angry in general, actually, because you hate the way your hands get shaky, cold while the rest of you is hot, the sizzling and melding of wires in your brain, that when you stop mumbling all the time you sound too much like him, but...

it's not a particularly special day when kamoshida goes on a rampage again. he puts one half of your team in a row for discipline, and makes the other half, including you, watch for the sake of being taught a lesson. you recoil at every harsh smack of his hand across a boy's face. instinctively, you mutter, "stop it," and he does. he stomps over to you; you didn't mean it like that.

he asks you to repeat yourself. you stay quiet. he asks again, a little less nice, grabbing your shoulder and yanking you closer. it spills out, "stop it!" and he starts to mock you.

kaboom. you punch him in the face.

kaboom. he snaps your knee entirely the wrong way.

kaboom. at last, you scream.

everything that has ever mattered to you has been set aflame and sizzled into meaningless ashes. you're kicked off the track team and shunned by your friends for compromising them, even though you did it to help them. you lose your upcoming scholarship on account of not being able to run anymore, despite the fact that it was entirely kamoshida's fault and he should be getting the punishment, not you.

mom. mom sobs into her hands at the side of your bed when you're recovering from surgery. the doctor said you still need to go into physio, but an even busier schedule is not what she's upset about. she can live with that. she can't live with you.

she's crying because she's just realized that you are no better than her. no better than grandma. no better than kamoshida. no better than dad. (truthfully, that's just what you feel. still doesn't help.)

your name is ryuji sakamoto and you are a ticking time bomb. you have exploded and are now smoldering pieces of what you once were. you will never be the same.

[kingdomofbellows]

No. No stop it. Don’t. Don’t look at her like that. You’re not allowed to look at her like that!

Irene’s heart twists in her chest, eyes stinging as he just…gazes at her with that fondness. He wasn’t allowed. He’s supposed to hate her. Be disappointed in her. Mad at her. Look at her with the same cruel indifference that space has for human life. Don’t look at her like a parent noticing similarities of themselves in their child. You’re not allowed. You’re especially not allowed to sound…human. To have human struggles. You’re god. You do like god things that you don’t regret because you’re all knowing and it’s all part of your master plan.

The plan. The grand plan that she had heard repeated to her over and over and over again. The same grand plan that she swore she’d be rebelling against until she was dragged kicking and screaming to her grave. The same plan that took her mother, excused her father’s abuse, and kept Willow on the edge of death.

But this didn’t sound like he had a plan, and she wasn’t sure if it made it better or worse. Regardless, her anger had faded and now she just felt an overwhelming sorrow. Her eyes sting with threatened tears and she grimaces.

She manages to summon a snarky smile for Vox though, reaching down the front of her shirt where she had hidden the ring.

“Dang, I was really looking forward to making you dance like a goober.” She attempts to joke, securing her fingers around the ring and slowly pulling it out. “I…no..If I wasn’t going to give it to him, I had planned to destroy it somehow. No one needs that kind of power.”

She walks to Eli, keeping her fingers clenched so tight around the ring that she could feel it pressing a painful indent into her palm as she rests her fist on top of his hand. She hesitated for a moment, her other hand coming to curl around his wrist.

“You…did love us once, didn’t you? We weren’t always…failures and abominations in your eyes…right? Once upon a time at least.” Came her soft murmur. Regardless of his answer, she’d open her palm and drop the ring into it.

“Now…please. Help him.”

Irene would shoot Vox a look before her eyes drop, letting her arm drop to her side. She’d hurt herself if she wanted to thank you. Just turned out she didn’t currently want to. Instead she was running on barely any sleep, self sacrificing to a suicidal degree thoughts, and an Oreo, and she was ready to kill God or become him.

“I’m not sure Lu is going to want to remember.” She’d murmur to Vox. “It might just hurt him knowing daddy only cared for a brief second before he fucks off into the nether again..I know it’s his choice but…”

A thought occurs to her and her eyes snap towards Eli.

“What’s the catch? This is all rather convenient that you suddenly come back and all of a sudden are sooooo concerned about your son even though you KNEW it was all happening. You reek of absent father wanting money so what is it? You want us to throw ourselves at your feet and suck your ass with praise on how magnificent and wonderful you are? That truly, everyone’s favorite sky daddy is an awesome God like my sister is convinced you are? You want something and I don’t believe for a single fucking second it’s cause you’re worried about Lucifer being on his deathbed.”

@burningfeathersx

[chobblesomewrites]

I too sent my ask to the wrong place so insert drabble request herd

"You're... Lady Aphrodite?" Grian's eyes flicker from the goddess' face to her toes, repeating this action over and over as if to commit this appearance of hers to memory. Though it seemed difficult to actually gauge what her true appearance was as he couldn't help but see Pearl and his mom separately but also at the same time.

Some weird appearance magic, most likely. Not unusual for the goddess of beauty, Grian thinks.

Aphrodite could probably see the confusion through his wary expression, her grin widening playfully while her eyes squinted in interest, "That I am, little sweet thing," she replied as she fixed herself on the little loveseat she made comfortable on that Grian could've sworn wasn't available in the hotel room last time he was awake.

Mumbo looked equally confused about the appearance of the seat, but even more confused regarding the appearance of the goddess.

Actually, he seemed more nervous than confused, Grian observed. The taller demigod was red in the face and seemed to have a difficult time looking at Aphrodite at all. The child of Hermes shot a look at his best friend, but he avoided eye contact.

This is actually the most nervous Mumbo Grian has ever seen, and they've been through a lot of nervewracking situations together.

They were mid-retrieval quest. An unofficial one actually. No one in the camp took the mysterious disappearance of Grian and Mumbo's little Grumbot seriously so no official search party was given.

'Just make another one.' Yeah, right. Try asking two parents who had lost their kid the same thing.

So they did whatever smart demigod would do: disappear from the camp from long hours of time while avoiding any iris messages to find Grumbot themselves.

"I heard you were in... a bit of a pickle. A little trouble, hm?" Aphrodite broke through Grian's little internal rant (one he's been surprisingly doing often these days). He focused his eyes back on the Pearl-Mom fusion.

He pursed his lips in hesitation, "Not really. Even if you had a way to help us find Grumbot, we don't need it," he lied. Honestly, they've spent most of their week wandering around all the three realms to see where Grumbot has been, having not found any leads at all so the rest of the days were spent hopping from hotel to hotel room as they went through their small evidence of suspected Grumbot locations.

Or rather, they kept arguing over and over again as Grian was stubborn with continuing their travel while Mumbo was stubborn about going home as his anxiety genuinely cannot take anymore monster encounters.

Of course, none of this was unknown to the goddess, rolling her eyes at Grian's attempts at lying to a divine being of all people, "Don't worry, son of Hermes. I wasn't going to help you with that part anyway," she pushed herself off her seat and went on over to the pair. Somehow she made even such a simple thing look graceful.

It made Grian shiver. Even more when Aphrodite placed herself behind in-between them, a supposedly encouraging hand on their shoulders as she made a friendly gesture of pushing them together.

Grian doesn't know if that was him shaking or if he was imagining it. He wasn't that afraid of gods, was he?

He then looked down and only now noticed that Mumbo's shivering hands were squeezing his wrist like crazy. Grian had half the mind to scrunch up painfully from how hard he was gripping, shimmying his wrist out so he could hold Mumbo's hand properly and squeeze back in hopes to comfort him.

It didn't work, considering that Mumbo went even more red and had now squeezed his eyes shut. Grian rolled his eyes and glared up at Aphrodite who was watching on with mirth.

"You're making him nervous."

Aphrodite tilted her head and batted her eyelashes innocently, "Why, is it me that's doing that or is it you?"

Grian fought back a scowl. This is why he didn't like interacting with Aphrodite, always taking on a teasing tone like she knew something he didn't. They then end up talking in circles and circles because she has all the time in the world to lead people on however she likes.

Damn gods.

"What do you want, Aphrodite?" The child of Hermes urged for an answer, tugging Mumbo away from the goddess as he regarded her with annoyance. Not that she took any offense, his annoyance served to amuse her even more.

"Don't give me that, dove. You need me, you know?"

"I don't quite remember a situation where we need the goddess of love and beauty at all."

Grian felt a tug on his hand and he looked up to find that Mumbo had opened his eyes back up to silently plead him to stop his disrespectful tone.

Which, he would've followed otherwise, but he's already exhausted his small bar of patience to this sneak out quest, so he decided to ignore his best friend.

Aphrodite giggled at their little small exchange and leaned over to coo at them, "Clearly you do!" She tapped the two's joined hands. Grian felt himself redden for some reason but kept a terrible stern face.

"Small demigod, I would have thought your camp taught you the importance of getting along with your questmates, especially at such a dangerous time."

Grian had half the mind to take note of how many times Aphrodite has called him 'small' and 'little' and half the mind to tug Mumbo closer to his side defensively, "We get along just fine. Isn't that right, Mumbo?"

Mumbo somehow had the audacity to hesitate before answering, "U-uh, yeah. Somewhat..."

Grian's jaw dropped and he snapped his head to look at Mumbo inquiringly, "What the Hades is that answer?"

"Well, it's- you know! It's been a tough few days!" Mumbo squeaked out.

The child of Hermes furrowed his eyebrows together and looked away with a pout, taking a lot of offense with how Mumbo was wording how they were doing as a pair.

It's not like Grian was treating him too badly. Mumbo was annoying too!

The two looked away from each other and went quiet, leaving room for Aphrodite to laugh at their small banter, "Mumbo, dear, you really have the audacity to be saying those things while you were openly adoring the form you've made of me?"

Mumbo made a noise of embarrassment in the back of his throat in response. His shoulders hiked up to his ears like he was trying to hide away like a turtle, except he disappointedly does not have a shell to hide away in. On the other hand, this reaction and Aphrodite's gentle scolding made Grian much more confused.

He was frustrated and he didn't know to what. Either because Aphrodite, and apparently even Mumbo, knew something he didn't or because Aphrodite was overwhelming his best friend.

Despite Grian's current feelings on Mumbo after multiple arguments, it didn't really feel right to not defend him from whatever's going on, "What are you trying to get at, lady?"

Aphrodite flashed a pointed glare at Grian but was quick to get past the continous disrespect in favor of embarrassing Mumbo even further.

"I'm sure you already know, if you listened to that son of Athena. My appearance is an entirely unique experience to each person."

She took place behind the tall demigod, her hands on Mumbo's shoulders, and maneuvered him with her as she forced the demigod to be face to face with Grian, "Tell me first, Grian dear. What do you see me as?"

"...Like both my sister and my mom at the same time?"

"Extremely sweet of you," Aphrodite smiled slightly, "Now how about you ask Mumbo here what he sees me as?"

The son of Hermes looks towards Mumbo, who couldn't even hold his eyes as he had shutted them in embarrassment again. Grian suddenly felt impatient and he reached out to hold Mumbo's hand to tug at it to get his attention.

It didn't seem to help, and it made Mumbo look like he was about to actually melt into a puddle.

"Mumbo, how do you see her?" Grian asks, wanting to just get this over with. He would've been patient with his best friend if this were a normal situation, but the presence of Aphrodite was not one his mental couldn't really welcome for a long while.

However, Mumbo didn't answer, ending up stammering literally every vowel out without actually saying anything.

Grian groaned impatiently, "It's really not that hard!"

"It is much harder than you actually think it is!" Mumbo squeaked out in defense.

"Just say it!"

"No! You'll make fun of me!"

"Why are you being so-!"

Aphrodite cut them off with a loud click of her tongue, tutting disappointedly at the wondrous display of 'friendship'.

"See? This is why I told you two you needed me."

Grian yells heatedly, "I told you we get along fine! This is just-"

The goddess ignored him as she cooed at Mumbo, ruffling his hair in false pretense of adoration, "Don't worry, darling Mumbo! Your step mother will help you since you've been such a behaved boy!"

"Since when did you consider yourself my mom?" Mumbo squawked in confusion, making a face mixed between disgust and bafflement as she watched Aphrodite grip at both of his and Grian's joined hands, "And wait, what are you planning on doing-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, suddenly caught off guard with how his hand suddenly felt so numb. Grian were better at keeping his expression at bay while Mumbo instinctively tried to tug his hand back.

... But he couldn't?

"My job here is done!" Aphrodite announces with a clap, turning around to leave the hotel room.

Grian didn't seem to catch onto what happened, turning to watch the goddess leave with his jaw agape, "But you didn't do anything?!" He screeched, "Come back here! What did you do!?"

The demigod tried to go after her, doubtful of the fact that she was leaving without doing anything, but he found himself tugged back into place by Mumbo.

Grian tried to tug his hand back, "Mumbo, what are you doing? Let go!"

"I can't..." Mumbo mumbled fearfully.

"What do you mean you can't?"

The son of Hephaestus swallowed nervously and untangled his fingers from Grian, but whenever he tried to actually pull his hand away, his palm wouldn't let up.

He tried again and again to show the problem. Grian's face blanched.

"Oh for Olympus' sake..."

[tokkiiibunny]

Chick Habit | Megumi Fushiguro

13: 7 Words

Words: 1.5 k

Mainlist

I think you shouldn't have glorified, now you're wrong

Suck, suck, suck, suck

Suck, suck, suck, suck

Oh boy...

A part of megumi still refused to accept that he had screwed up, he kept wanting to think that it was your fault, that you were no victim and that you definitely deserved everything he had done but deep down he knew that he had been a fucking idiot, that he had taken things too far and that he had been doing for years the same thing that your former friends did to Tsumiki.

Megumi Fushiguro never regretted it, but maybe and only maybe at this moment he was doing it.

The more days went by the more frustrated he became and maybe, and just maybe, he was wondering what would have happened if he had figured out the reality of things before spreading all that shit about you, what would have happened if that first day of school he had responded to your cheerful greeting with a simple "Hi." You weren't the only one who had been wanting to do things differently.

"Did they hide what happened with that girl? It was horrible." Tsumiki brought up the subject in the middle of dinner, she only knew the story halfway and did not know that her beloved brother had been responsible. "poor girl, Mrs. Linwood told me she was a good girl, with all this she must not be having a good time."

"Why don't you shut up, Tsumiki?" Megumi was rude all the time to everyone, but he rarely had that attitude with Tsumiki.

"Megumi." Satoru scolded him.

"And shut up too, you have no idea what happened, stop acting like you care." Satoru leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, watched Megumi for a moment, he had known him long enough  to know that something is wrong.

"That girl, Yn Yl I think, she was in your class wasn't she? Maybe you can explain to us better what happened." Megumi hated talking to Satoru because he always felt like he knew everything, most of the time it was difficult to keep Satoru's secrets hidden. Megumi got up from the table and left the house slamming the door behind him.

They didn't know shit, no one did, you were just a fucking crybaby and he could have been so much worse. But God, he couldn't get you out of his head.

Although for a long time he saw you as the "enemy", the time he spent with you, those times when he wasn't being a bitch with you, he had really enjoyed your company. 

Because that smile that he had tried so hard to convince himself that he hated was actually the most beautiful he had ever seen, In fact, you were the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

You were pretty, funny, intelligent, you were full of good qualities, you were like a dream but he had broken you and there was no turning back. 

If he had to count how many times he had dreamed of you, the fingers of his two hands would not be enough. And it would be a lie to deny that his mind was repeating the two kisses he had given you over and over again because he loved remembering the feeling of his lips on yours. You were soft and sweet, the complete opposite of him.

Lately he had wondered a lot if he hated you or if he was just completely and deeply obsessed with you.

Yuji hadn't approached him since the Halloween party and Megumi really missed him but his pride prevented him from trying to talk to his best friend, Yuji missed him too but he was still angry about everything Megumi had done.

He was walking aimlessly, he was just trying to clear his head and forget about the small conversation he just had at home, he cursed that he didn't bring anything with him to help relax him.

The air was cold and his sweater wasn't helping to keep him warm But he refused to go home, he didn't want Satoru to question him again because he knew that he would sooner or later get into the truth.

That day he did not return until midnight and when he opened the door Satoru was on the sofa waiting for him.

"Where were you?"

"Don't start."

"Sometimes you forget who is in charge in this house." Satoru didn't seem to be playing at this time, even if his attitude was almost always playful and teasing, he looked Upset now.

"You're not my fucking dad Satoru." Megumi immediately cursed himself for saying that, but it was too late and he could only keep his defiant attitude as much as possible.

"I know." Tension filled the room, Satoru paused for a long time before continuing. "I know I'm not." Satoru preferred to keep his words to himself, he knew that anything he had to talk to him would be useless at this moment. "Go to your bedroom, it doesn't matter anymore."

That night was no different from the others where sleeping was almost impossible, now he was not only thinking about you and Yuji but he was also thinking about how he had been an ungrateful son of a bitch with the only two people who had taken care of him, Tsumiki and Satoru were his only family and yet he treated them like shit every time he was angry.

Sometimes he questioned why he was like that, what was wrong with him, to say that he hated himself would be too kind For what he really felt.

He was a cruel bastard too proud to admit his mistakes out loud, a motherfucker who every time he felt someone too close showed his worst side to puch them away.

The next morning he go downstairs to the kitchen And it probably wouldn't have been much different from any other day if it weren't for the very strange but recognizable figure that was on the couch between Satoru and Tsumiki.

Toji Fushiguro was like a blurry memory in megumi's mind, Although his voice was more than present in his mind because of all the calls he had received over the years, the way he looked was distorted among his memories.

He was strangely similar to him, Satoru had always told Megumi that he looked like his mother but he was also so similar to Toji that his stomach churned to, he didn't want to look like that man.

"Megumi." Satoru looked tense, in reality none of the three of them seemed too comfortable with the situation. "Sit down."

"What is he doing here?" but Megumi didn't try to hide his displeasure.

"Just Please Megumi." Satoru wanted to make things easier and although he knew that talking to Megumi would be useless, he tried to make him come to his senses.

"No. What is he doing here?"

Toji sighed and got up from the sofa, his expression far from the violent and strong face that Megumi remembered but still she was not going to trust him easily.

"I came to get my family back."

"You don't have any family here."

"Megumi." Satoru called out him.

"No, He's only here because he's old and finished, he doesn't give a fuck about his family, he doesn't give a fuck about changing."

"Just listen to him, Megumi."

"Shut up Tsumiki. Shut up, you three."

Megumi didn't go back to home that day, he didn't answer any calls, he hated Toji, he hated Satoru for accepting him into his house, and he hated Tsumiki for accepting back his father.

He felt stressed, tired and angry, he was fed up with everyone and couldn't leave his room because his fucking father was in the living room and didn't want to see him. After thinking about it a lot, he sent you a text message, he wanted to talk to you, he missed spending the afternoons in your bedroom.

You never responded, you didn't even receive the message, you had blocked Megumi's Contact.

Megumi was eating his breakfast when Toji arrived at the kitchen and patted Megumi on the shoulder.

"Are you going to talk to me, kid?"

"Never. touch. me. again." He got up from his chair with the intention of going back to his room but his father stopped him.

"Megumi, I really want to talk to you."

"But I don't want to. Look, I don't care about you, I don't want you in my life and you're never going to be my father. I lived without you up to this point and I prefer to continue doing so." Toji had never been present in his life, he didn't need him and he didn't care if this time he would change, he wasn't her father and never would be.  "I don't care what shitty story you tell me this time, but I don't want you to try to talk to me."

Notes area:

>Comments, suggestions and feedback are welcome

>Thanks for reading!

Taglist:

@soobinbunnie5 @anonymity-222 @hanakalovesbnha @starrysho @sylussss7 @Shortcakebbg @Szired @briezy04764

[luv444saturn]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 pt.2

(Continuation, link to my masterlist for other chapters!)

TW - Blood, brief mention of infection, guns.

Authors Note - part two, I feel like I'm having way too much fun writing this, thank you so much for reading :3

That single word, more importantly the characteristics of the voice that said it, had chills running down your spine. “You don't listen well, do you?” Again, that awful voice sounded from behind you. Despite how badly you wanted to tremble or turn around or plan your defense, you made sure you didn't take your eyes off of the scope. “Eyes over here.” Now that voice, you had never been so relieved to hear Spencer speak. His voice was sharp, pointedly spoken at the man.

There was another thing about him. While you claimed you hated him, loathed his intelligence and his ego, you could never say you didn't need him. In one way or another. You needed him to prove you wrong, knock you down a peg. You needed someone to challenge your intellect. You needed someone to funnel your annoyance onto. That someone just happened to do the same things to you in return. It was mutualism at its finest, the symbiotic relationship sometimes devolved into parasitism if you allowed it. 

But right now you needed him so you knew you weren't alone.

You heard another gun cock, the sound filling you with a sense of dread. “Reid,” his name was almost strained, almost dying on your lips, “don't do anything stupid.” 

The minuscule shift in your tone, the only sign of vulnerability that showed through your cracking exterior. That calmness you had carefully constructed that he so desperately yearned to have. He hadn't mastered that mask yet. That was enough of a change to have him glance in your direction. Soon enough, the words 'don't do anything stupid,’ rang in his ears like a hymn. 

He did something stupid.

That glance, that single second that he wasted had wavered his focus just enough to provide this mystery man with a slim opening. An opening that was wide enough for him to take advantage of.

A pained sound, akin to a hiss, escaped Spencer's lips. Soon that idiotic move that he had pulled seconds before, you repeated. A glance. A single glance back to the agent who was clutching his hand with a strained expression, staring at the source of the gruff voice from a moment ago. “He's got my gun.” Spencer said, letting out a huff. It took everything he had to focus on anything but the pain in his hand, where blood soaked onto his skin, dripping through his fingers and down onto the ground below his feet.

You went for the walkie-talkie at your hip, but as expected, the man—safe to consider another unsub—had other plans. “We can't have that,” he clicked his tongue, “hand it over.” He approached with Spencer's gun aimed at you, kicking away your rifle so you had no chance of turning the tables. He was leaving you destitute, stranded in a dangerous position with no hope of clawing yourself out of it.

You watched him crush the walkie-talkie under heavy, paint stained boots. Spencer watched life practically drain from your eyes, the hope you had dissolving instantaneously. 

Spencer had always paid the most attention to people's eyes. Unconsciously taking in every detail, knowing precisely what emotion they captured. Because nobody, despite how mastered they were in the art of putting up facades, could hide their feelings through their eyes. Lips and faces remain still, unmoving, but everything they wish to show was perfectly displayed through eyes. He had come to know yours quite well, and this moment was no exception. 

The man pulled out his phone. Unlike the mistake both of you had made, his grip wouldn't falter on the gun, and his eyes wouldn't stray from his targets.

You took a single step towards Spencer, staring down at his hand that was still actively bleeding, trembling. He looked pitiful, like one of those puppies in those commercials that always made you tear up, and it took everything in you not to speak. You didn't have any words that were bubbling up in your throat, nothing, utterly silent. Wordlessly, you took his hand, observing the wound. A knife? That would explain how the man had taken his gun, and the hiss of pain it elicited from Spencer's lips.

Your fingers made quick work of his tie, feeling his eyes on you, you could practically hear the satirical, witty retort he wanted to say. One that would undoubtedly make you roll your eyes. But both of you had an understanding that this wasn't the time. It wasn't the time to make light of a situation, to distract yourselves from what was happening. His tie acted as enough of a bandage to stop the bleeding for now.

“Improper bandages can make wounds gangrene, even though it is important in the healing process to allow airflow, proper compression and coverage is crucial to avoid infection and tissue death—” Spencer began, silencing himself when he knew that he would only worsen your emotional state.

“Keep going.” Was all you said, voice hoarse and dejected.

Nobody had ever said that to him before.

Let alone you.

[synesthesiadreamscape]

The Identity of Cyrene’s murderer, or the Past, Present, and Eternal Self

Ancient Hymn Trailer — "Of Titans and the Mortal Realms"

(I know we’re not in Penacony anymore, just let me have this).

There’s something interesting happening in Amphoreus. And no, I’m not talking about the eerie parallels between the world’s superficial god-slaying prophecy and the ongoing Aeon-slaying subplot playing out in the universe, or the clandestine Memokeeper who tried to spy on Herta and Nous, or even the mysterious murmurings of Oronyx calling for their “mother.” All of those things, I think, are the secrets about this world that the writers actually care about wrapping in mystery. What I find fascinating is that, to this point, there are just as many things that they evidently do not care about keeping a secret, making only the barest effort, if any, to try and hide the truth.

I think the identity of Cyrene’s killer is a prime example of this. Let me show you what I mean.

SPOILERS: Amphoreus Act I: Heroic Saga of Flame-Chase and Honkai Impact 3rd’s Elysium Everlasting arc (and also parts of the Elysian Realm arc). You have been warned!

Amphoreus’ first act concludes with Kevin Phainon undergoing Nikador’s trial to prove he’s worthy to inherit Strife’s legacy. We know Phainon is unsure of this path, despite his repeated assertions that he’s been waiting for this moment, and that it’s his dream to inherit Nikador’s authority. As of this writing, the outcome of the trial is undecided.

…Except we do know its outcome, because Mydei has already been drip marketed as the heir of the Lance of Fury, two weeks before 3.0 even dropped.

“O Chrysos Heir that seeks the Coreflame of Strife, you must suffer a thousand deaths, be bathed in blood on the path home, and bear the madness of fate alone, for one must slay a god to become one.”  (Amphoreus' Saga of Heroes | Mydei)

Not exactly suspenseful for the people engaging with Honkai Star Rail’s social media accounts. What’s more, towards the end of Act I, Mem gives the Trailblazer a storybook called “As I’ve Written” to record their memories of the flame-chase journey and the flame-chasers Chyrsos Heirs. Just like the Titans’ constellations are displayed on a wheel in the Vortex of Genesis, the Chrysos Heirs are represented as icons around a similar constellation wheel after the Trailblazer writes a memory of them into the book. Mydei, unsurprisingly, is occupying the same space as Nikador’s constellation, while Phainon is at the top over the constellation I presume is Kephale’s. Again, this is not exactly a well-guarded secret. All of the marketing for Amphoreus has strongly implied that Kephale is Phainon’s fate, down to the design of Phainon’s eyes. The devs are not even trying to hide this, because it is not supposed to be a secret or point of intrigue in-and-of-itself. In other words, we know the result, but we don’t know how these characters will get there.

Now, spoilers-by-drip-marketing are not a new thing in Honkai Star Rail or in Hoyo games in general (looking at you, Mavuika and Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae and Wanderer and Robin and–). But that’s not the only example of shit they don’t seem to care about keeping secret in Amphoreus. If you frequent any HSR fan spaces, then surely you’ve seen theories by now about our new friend Mem:

If you haven’t, then here’s the sitch: the current running theory is that Mem is Cyrene, or at least connected to her in some way. Supporting evidence for this is a mix of vibes (Cyrene and Mem’s shared pink aesthetic, similarities between Mem and ELF Elysia’s role in Elysium Everlasting) and concrete hints rooted in the narrative (the memories Mem showed us of a little boy and girl [presumably Phainon and Cyrene] when we first land in Amphoreus, and this part of Nameless Faces), as well as the uncanny resemblance between Mem’s as-yet unnamed voice actors and the performances for Elysia and Cyrene in all languages. I definitely hear Marina Inoue in Mem’s Japanese voice acting.

This is still a fan theory, but there are too many coincidences pointing at least towards its partial truth. When it comes to Mem’s identity, it seems that the writers are far less concerned with players knowing who Mem is, but rather why she is appearing to us in this form.

Cyrene’s only explicit appearance as Cyrene in the story so far occurs in a 2D illustrated cutscene of Phainon’s past towards the end of the first act. Cyrene is sitting in a field in Aedes Elysiae, his homeland, and she says he will be “a hero worshipped by all” based on a card she drew (perhaps some Amphoreus astrology?). But Phainon resists this reading of fate because he has no interest in becoming a hero for the world, which is yet another aspect he shares with Kevin Kaslana.

And that’s when we’re confronted with the horror of Cyrene’s fate — she’s stabbed by an unknown assailant, with golden blood flowing from her wound:

To be honest, I didn’t read too much into this image until this past week while watching Cy Yu’s VODs on Youtube. Because upon seeing it again, I realized I knew that sword. And if you’ve been watching all of the marketing for Amphoreus, then you’ve seen it before too.

It belongs to this dude:

First two images are Mythology Opening, last image is Nameless Faces

That’s what happens when you stare for too long at Anaxa crumbs. Stuff gets burned into your brain that you didn’t even know was there, and it comes roaring to the front when you least expect it. Looking at these other stills of Masked Dude at 0.25x speed, I’m almost positive it’s the same blade.

And yes, this is a tenuous connection at best as is, but hear me out. There’s a lot more to it than just the similar blade shape.

Elysium Everlasting

Cyrene is inarguably a variant of Elysia from Honkai Impact 3rd, and if you’re not familiar with the game then let’s just say she is extremely important in shaping Part 1’s finale. TL;DR, Elysia is from the Previous Era, the generation of humans before Kiana, Mei, and Bronya, who lost to the Honkai and had their civilization destroyed. She was one of the Flamechasers, a group of humans who were modified with the genes of strong Honkai beasts so that they could fight and resist the Honkai in ways other humans could not. Mei learns about this past era by venturing into the Elysian Realm, a simulation composed of every Flamechaser’s memories, where she first meets Elysia’s simulation.

Before the Previous Era lost to the Herrscher of Finality, the real Elysia sacrificed herself so that when she returned to the Honkai, her pure love for humanity would influence the Will of Honkai so that the next Herrscherrs could retain their humanity and the will to fight for its survival rather than its destruction. By doing so, she paved the way for a brighter future that she would never witness herself. I flag this plot point because it almost exactly mirrors what happened with Gnaeus at the end of Act I, and you know how Hoyo loves to foreshadow greater plots through subplots like this:

Gnaeus: I will return to where I came from and become a part of Nikador’s divinity once more. In all likelihood. I will also be consumed by corruption. An inevitable course of action if we hope to end this madness. Castorice: You are willing to…sacrifice yourself for a future you won’t get to witness? Gnaeus: This is my purpose, my origin. I am no mortal and I do not fear death…Even so, will you still weep for me? (Kremnos, Cleanse Thy Rusted Blood (II))

The last memory sync the real Elysia did with the realm happened before she died, so reconstructing the memory of her death in Elysium Everlasting required uniting the memories of those who witnessed it - and one of the people who not only witnessed it, but executed it, was Kevin Kaslana.

This leaves us in an uncomfortable position regarding Cyrene’s death. Could her executioner, (presumably) Masked Dude, actually be Phainon filling a similar role to Kevin's? In Nameless Faces, we see Phainon and Mydei fighting Masked Dude themselves, which would seem to rule this possibility out, nevermind that it seems Cyrene died when they were both children, and that Phainon once sought revenge for having his home ripped away from him. How could he be angry about what happened, and also be the reason it happened? And wouldn’t this direction for Cyrene's death be too close to Elysium Everlasting if it’s true? After all, Shaoji said these characters would have their own fates, separate from some of their variants from Honkai Impact 3rd, right? I think this is still true, but it doesn’t have to rule out the possibility of Masked Dude being “Phainon.” 

It’s clear that there’s a lot more to Phainon than meets the eye. “Phainon” is apparently not his true name, and in his recent past he followed a much darker path than the one he’s on now. Kevin also was known to wear a ‘mask’ while he was in MOTH, only rarely revealing his true feelings to the people he was closest to, and even then he kept many of them in the dark, including Su, MEI, and Elysia. Everyone can tell Phainon is going to crash out at some point in Amphoreus, the writing is on the wall re: his lack of a strong will, his surprise that borrowing a Titan’s power actually hurts them, and the little he seems to understand about the true nature of the prophecy he and the other Chrysos Heirs are following.

Castorice: The prophecy gave him a new mission, granting him a new life as a Chrysos Heir. But which is more important to him: his new mission or his desire for revenge?

This part of him, his “past” self that bubbles beneath the surface of his “present” self, may come back to haunt him as he journeys toward Kephale’s Coreflame in more than just a figurative way. It’s not like this is out of the realm of possibility - we’ve already seen how past and present can be superimposed on one another in Amphoreus, interacting in strange ways through tools that construct illusions (perhaps a consequence of both the Erudition and the Remembrance’s influence). Or maybe it’s that Masked Dude is actually split off from Phainon himself, similar to Wonweek and Sunday, or all of Tingyun’s “selves” in A New Venture on the Eighth Dawn.

And speaking of past selves, there’s a pretty fun puzzle throughout Amphoreus called Golden Scapegoat that features a “past” version of the player, which shapes the gameplay into a series of convoluted maneuvers to both avoid your shadow and trick it into creating a path forward for you. If we read this puzzle as an additional clue to the main story’s themes, just as Oronyx’s puzzles involve using shapes to create light and shadow that construct a desired form (Plato’s Allegory of the Cave), then the idea that Masked Dude is a shadow of Phainon has some additional support, though I suppose there’s nothing specifically limiting it to Phainon, either:

"Past self appears as an embodiment of darkness"

However, I did think this passage of the Golden Scapegoat’s Mutterings was interesting given the nature of Elysia’s death, since Kevin knew Elysia wasn’t their enemy and partook in her sacrifice because he wanted to believe in the future she envisioned. Still need to do a close reading of the rest of it, but this is from the 4th part:

There’s also a part of the Mythology Opening trailer that I assume is Masked Dude talking (I could be mistaken, so take this with a massive grain of salt), and while I will say in Japanese it is not clear to me that it’s Satoshi Hino’s voice (I kinda hear it, but it feels delusional), in English to me it has that same uncanny similarity to Joshua Waters’ Phainon that Mem’s voice has to Cyrene’s (compare Phainon’s “even gods can bleed” to the link clip). This is pretty copium evidence, since these similarities could be all in my head, but for what it’s worth…

Phainon and Masked Dude shown right after each other (0:09 vs. 0:10) in Nameless Faces. What did they mean by this?

One last note on this Phainon/Masked Dude theory that I think is interesting. The theory that Phainon has something to do with Nanook is as ubiquitous as the theories about Mem and Cyrene, and while there’s clearly some Nanook symbolism going on in Nameless Faces when Phainon splashes golden blood on his torso, I am hoping Phainon will have a happier ending than Nanook and that he won’t go nearly as far as Kevin did in Honkai Impact 3rd. But if Masked Dude is some other version of Phainon, perhaps he is the allegory for Nanook’s ascent, and Phainon’s journey will represent an “alternative ending.” To put it another way, Kephale is the Worldbearer Titan, who shoulders the fate of Amphoreus and delivers mankind to hope and salvation. So what is the opposite of this role, or its shadow?

The Worldbreaker, who delivers all to Destruction:

While this theory did make more sense with some additional knowledge from Honkai Impact 3rd, the available official material for Amphoreus, including marketing videos like the Mythology Opening and Nameless Faces, is not exactly subtle about who Masked Dude might be. I mean come on, they use very similar visual storytelling with Phainon and Masked Dude in Nameless Faces as they do for Mem and Cyrene in the same video. This leads me to believe that this particular “secret,” as well as Masked Dude’s potential role in Cyrene’s fate, is yet another plot point that the writers don’t care that much about shrouding in mystery. And to me, this indicates that there is something much, much, bigger that they’re concealing through the story of Phainon and Cyrene, the “why” of Amphoreus rather than the “what.”

And that’s all! Hopefully you found this entertaining if nothing else ^_^ What lore have you found in Amphoreus so far?

EDIT: changed a sentence about what elysia's sacrifice would do for the next generation of humans cuz I realized the way I wrote it before was not accurate. ☺️

Director’s cut:

Chat, is it normal if your CHIMERA has horns? Get it? …I’ll see myself out.

(no but why does this kitty chimera have horns like the golden scapegoat character?)

References:

What Happened in Elysium Everlasting!? Chapter 29 - 31 Story Recap by Homu Labs. This channel is the GOAT for HI3rd lore.

[sophieinwonderland]

It might be helpful to explain what sanism is, especially the difference between it and ableism, because you didn't do that in your post.

I kind of assumed it wouldn't be necessary because Wikipedia covers this pretty well.

Something that I do want add to this though is that while one could say that sanism is a branch of ableism, I notice there are specific ways in which sanism differs from physical ableism, and has more overlap with homophobia and transphobia.

That is the tendency to see people as dangerous based on thinking differently from the majority.

The sanism of Trump's 2024 campaign was largely brushed over, but was a pretty major part of his rhetoric, falsely claiming that immigrants were coming from "insane asylums." He's repeated this rhetoric again in his inaugural address, with false claims that people are being sent to this country from mental institutions.

It's unclear where this started. Some people think it's because Trump is legitimately too stupid to know the difference between "asylum seekers" and people seeking asylum. It's equally possible that he does know but is depending on his voters being too stupid to know the difference.

Either way, this talking point is built on othering people with mental illnesses as something dangerous and to be feared because they think differently, the same way that people are treated for being gay or transgender. There has always been a heavy dose of sanism inherent these sorts of positions. That someone who doesn't think like you do is a threat.

And among other things, he's threatened to "bring back" mental institutions in the country.

Sanism is amping up under Trump and his followers, and people with mental illnesses, and people perceived as having mental illnesses, are in more danger than ever under his regime.

[songofthesibyl]

There’s a pervasive narrative in the fandom that we only need to pay attention to the things we are “meant” to. And to interpret actions based on what role the character plays in the narrative. Since Rhysand is Tamlin’s foil and generally “means well,” we shouldn’t really think deeply about areas where that seems to be in question. If the CoN citizens are shortchanged, well that’s just an example of poor writing, it’s not supposed to be a reflection of Rhysand’s character (it may very well be part of a future storyline, but we have to go on what we have now—how the Night Court is after centuries of his rule). “Critical thinking” regarding ACOTAR then involves showing the crumbs the author left—showing Tamlin’s red flags, for example. Illustrating what the author “meant.” Critically thinking about the books in any other way is mocked, because it will ultimately be irrelevant to the story—even though that’s not really the point of criticism. (Unless it’s ACOSF, then all the bad things that Rhysand does, Nesta’s growth and healing, are all a product of bad writing, and wasn’t the author in a bad place then, and when you think about it, SJM isn’t really a good person. Suddenly it doesn’t matter what the author meant, and they are capable of thinking critically again.) Feyre’s character arc was disappointing to me because I would expect, in a transformative arc where she becomes a powerful being—one she hated a year ago, one she would have only known as an enslaving monster growing up—that she at some point would let the power corrupt her. This happens all the time in these kinds of arcs—the hunger taking over a newly made vampire, abusing new superpowers as a mutant, etc. So Feyre falling in love with her powers—both magically and politically—makes sense, especially with how it’s framed as empowering after what happened with Tamlin. It’s fine if she goes too far, because then she can have that moment where she realizes maybe she has lost, or is in danger of losing, her human heart. I figured that would happen after that scene in the first book where she’s on the balcony with Rhysand. But it didn’t really. There’s a little moment at the High Lord’s meeting, but the focus is more on Tamlin being a bitch, and so her actions are seen against him, not judged on their own. This is repeated in ACOFAS. So to bring up your other recent post, it’s difficult to judge all the characters the same, because it isn’t framed as every character has different shades of grey-ness, and we just have to wait to see what’s underneath (like with Nesta, and probably Eris). There are very clear good guys and bad guys, and it’s clear how SJM wants you to feel about them—I’ve never read a series where I had that woman-behind-the-curtain feeling so much. But I do hold the protagonists to a higher standard, and it will be jarring when they do something bad/hurtful/etc. and there are no real consequences. That’s one reason I find Tamlin/Lucien/Nesta etc to be more interesting and palatable, because they do have them. Not necessarily because they are better people morally.

But then SJM talks all the time about liking to write characters who are difficult people, and to examine what might be behind that. So it’s hard to tell sometimes what actually is meant by the author and what stems from the fandom—I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to think Nesta is an abusive bitch/irredeemable monster by the end of the latest CC book. I’m also not sure if, during that exchange between Feyre and Lucien where Feyre mocks the Band of Exiles and he calls her an asshole, I’m supposed to find it attractive character-wise that the only reflection Feyre has when he says that to her is “true.” I can imagine she feels uncomfortable around Lucien still, and is recovering from trauma, and is entitled to lash out. But for the author to have that be the only thing she thinks turns me off her character all the same. But does she mean for me to feel that way, or does she just like writing characters like that? It feels like she wants to write grey characters, but wants to force you to like the ones she likes best; she wants to have it both ways. And that’s where the characterization becomes a problem.

I see a lot of posts that are like “y’all call Feyre selfish or blah blah blah, but she has done XYZ” and I think that is a huge issue with the books.

We have seen her do explicitly selfless acts. She gave the people in her village money and she gave her jewelry away to the wraiths to pay tithe. We are told time and time again that she does these big acts of charity and is a selfless person.

BUT this is all intentional characterization. The issue comes from when you look at her actions later on that aren’t meant to serve as a direct glimpse into her personality or goodness, but moreso just a product of her acting in the circumstance. THAT is when you have criticism of her being selfish or other. When the narrative stops peddling the Feyre is amazing train, that’s when it cracks. When the book pauses on trying to characterize Feyre and moves onto another, that’s when it falls apart. When the spotlight is on her, she’s perfect, but when it moves away and her character is left to act naturally without an agenda for the narrative, that’s when I think you see her true character.

We have a similarly opposite issue with Nesta (I find). Everytime the spotlight is on her, she’s nasty or cruel, but when she’s in the background you can pick out parts about how she’s really not what the main narrative (Feyre’s pov) conveys her to be. Even pointing to Nesta’s arc and Feyre’s actions in it, the book doesn’t try to say that they’re bad, it even tries to say that’s they’re good, but it still comes off as negative to many because it’s not concerned with making her look perfect. It’s how Feyre would act without the Feyre-tinted glasses.

A lot of the evidence people point to of Feyre being selfish or classist or what have you comes from moments that are not in your face about “Oh look how kind she is!”. And I think missing this really just continues to show that a lot of readers only look for direct explanations of actions or character and take whatever’s given at face value.

What I’m trying to convey is very hard for me to put into words, so I hope you’re able to kinda understand, but if someone smarter than me is able to do so, please do 😭😭

[blood-starved-beast]

So I've been thinking.

Icarus and Arachne clearly have some situationships going on (Arachne's is triggered when Mel gives her ambrosia and it looks to be mutual unless something else changes). They are both shades LIs (2)

Eris and Nemesis both clearly also have situationships with Melinoe. They are both female god LIs and daughters of Nyx (2).

Moros is highly implied (like the foreshadowing is very thick) to be a potential LI for Melinoe. He is a male god and son of Nyx (1). If we look at the pattern going on so far, we're missing one male god love interest. Who could that be?

Now, it's entirely possible that it's a god not yet included in Early Access and has to be patched in with development. But also. Melinoe has had a parasocial relationship with Hypnos going on since forever. She gives him great reverence/interest with him. She clearly is into babygirl" men. It would be wild, and I say wild, if the final male LI established is Hypnos. Once you wake him that is.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye