#and i've been in possession of a couple as an adult

[lamentable-comedy]

people don't talk enough about the power that wearing an old fashioned billowy shirt gives you. the poise. the confidence. the way it imbues you with an instinctive ability to stand in dramatic ways. the freedom of movement it gives you for, say, swordfighting or perhaps melodramatic lounging. the gravitas.

unparalleled

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Take Care of You [10]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 5.7k

Mood board and borders by @saradika

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[A/N: 🤡. I came back to life to immediately die off again i'm so sorry. here take this next part and all my love. speaking of my love, i already closed beta readers on tiktok but for anyone on here, if you wanna see why i've been so MIA, shoot me a message with your email if you wanna beta read my original work (i do ask that you do a questionnaire afterwards but that's just to help me out). But, imagine a scifi/fantasy where the book 'Six of Crows' meets 'The Last of Us', and I have good sources that y'all like TLOU👀]

[A/N pt.2: I did not edit this to the degree I should have and there is no tag list at the bottom i am so so so so sorry].

10: THE EVIDENCE IS PRETTY DAMNING

The ceiling wasn’t right. 

That was your first, foggy thought when your eyes opened. Rather than the bumpy, plaster speckles collecting dust it was smooth and off white. You slowly sat up with a groan, head spinning and mouth dry, and you blinked three times before your situation dawned on you. This was not your bed, not your house. Fuck. You set your hands on the bed to lean back then winced. With a hiss, you pulled your hand up and saw the bandaged injury from last night.

You cradled the hand with your other and turned to hang your legs over the edge of the bed. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a note on the nightstand. You leaned over. There was a full water bottle and a bottle of tylenol resting on top of a piece of paper. On the paper, in scratchy, nearly illegible, writing was, ‘Come downstairs when you’re ready. Feel free to use the shower and change if you want. ⏤Joel’. You dragged your fingers to trace the words. 

With a shaky breath, you grabbed the water bottle and took a couple pills in hopes to nurse the aches and pains you felt. You stared at the words again. Last night, Joel admitted to being married to Sarah’s mom and you had responded by passing the fuck out. You had tried to argue, demand more information, but your body fought against your curiosity. All the drinks you had prior and the fading adrenaline from the fight probably hadn’t helped. 

You rose from the bed with a groan and crossed to use the bathroom adjoined to Joel’s bedroom. When you flicked the lights on, you took the first movement to glance around the space. The walls were beige with white tile floors. On one side was a large jacuzzi style tub next to an expansive walk in shower. On the other was ample counter space and drawers with matching him and her sinks. In the back was the small room where the toilet sat and beyond that a walk in closet. The space was lived in. A dirty clothes basket off to the side half full, toiletries on the counter and on the shelves in the shower, you spotted a pair of glasses you had never seen Joel wear resting by the sink on the right side of the counter. That must be the one Joel used most. A toothbrush sat by it and you noticed water by the rim like he hadn’t wiped up when finished.

Also on the counter were a stack of clothes, you stepped toward it and saw it was a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants that must have belonged to him. On top of it was a brand new toothbrush. Your gaze lifted to look at yourself in the mirror and you flinched. You looked a mess⏤ your hair, your clothes, everything. You rubbed at your face with a sigh and slipped into a morning time routine despite the unfamiliar setting. 

Celina.

The name rang in your head over and over and over again. It didn’t matter that you had been only half with it last night. You remembered that clearly. As you cleaned up, your headache began to improve and by time you left the bathroom you at least felt human again. A new anger bubbled just under your skin. You couldn’t quite yet put your anger into words, but you knew it was there. After washing up, you traded the clothes you wore to the bar for the ones Joel left you. The shirt was worn out, like it was aged, and navy in color. It read ‘Miller’s Contracting’ with a number on it for contact. It reminded you of the kind of shirt a small company would make and not a multi-million dollar one. You tightened the waistband of Joel’s sweatpants. They were at least joggers so you didn’t have to worry about tripping over yourself.

You crossed the upstairs, open space to the stairs. Faintly, you heard the sound of someone moving around downstairs. A brief wave of nervousness had you hesitating at the top of the stairs, but it slipped away back to anger. It seemed that was where your heart was making camp this morning.

Slowly, you descended the stairs. The wooden floors under your feet didn’t creak or make noise as you padded into the living room first. A few couches were situated in front of a wall that held a large flat screen TV and a fireplace. The back wall was made of glass, a window and door all in one that revealed the back patio where a small pool and deck were, and the space beside it was the kitchen. Just as open as the rest of Joel’s house. The cabinets were made of dark wood with matching countertops and at the center was a large island with chairs. 

On the island counter looked like to-go boxes of food. You stared at them a moment longer, but a door hidden just out of view on the wall in the kitchen opened. Joel stepped into the kitchen nonchalantly until he spotted you and did a double take. He froze and stared. The two of you were actually similarly dressed. He had on a t-shirt that looked tight on his broad shoulders and a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips. Joel looked exhausted.

“Hey.” He said softly. “Mornin’, sug⏤” Joel stopped himself, it looked like he choked on his words, but he locked his jaw and changed direction. “Mornin’. How did you sleep?” You gave a small shrug and a tight lipped smile. “Right. How’s your…” Joel lifted his own hand. “Your hand?”

You lifted it up to stare down at it. The bandages had been pulled away when you washed up this morning. It didn’t look so bad. “It’s fine. Thanks for the⏤ the tylenol. And the toothbrush. And the,” You motioned to the clothes hanging off your frame, “You know.”

“Can I?” Joel nodded toward you.

“I said, it’s fine, Joel.”

“I…” He sighed and the look in his eyes was agonizing. “I know you’re pissed at me. Understandably so. But, please let me…”

You walked over to sit down at one of the tall chairs at the island counter and set your hand on the marble top. Joel mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ and disappeared for a quick second. He was back with a small first aid kit again. You twisted your lips when you felt his warm hand cautiously take yours. It was quiet as he reapplied a bit of medicine to the hand before wrapping it up again. 

“You don’t…” Joel started then cleared his throat. You never would have used the word anxious to describe the Joel you had gotten to know thus far, but nervous energy seemed to radiate off him. The tension in his shoulders looked painful to keep hold of. “I had breakfast delivered. Some stuff I know you like.” Joel pulled his hand away from yours. “But you don’t have to stay if you don’t wanna.”

“No. I want to.” You replied. Joel looked briefly hopeful. “I want to talk about this. I want⏤ to know. I want answers.”

“Right. Of course.” Joel nodded quickly. “I owe you at least that.” You nodded in agreement. Joel straightened from where he stood and ran a hand over his chest and shoulder with a quiet cough. “Can I make you something to drink? Coffee, tea, juice?”

You gave a small nod, mumbling a response, and watched as Joel put it all together. He poured himself a cup of coffee after serving you. Rather than take the seat beside you, he stood on the other side of the island counter across from you.

“You mentioned the girl from Vegas last night briefly, but how did you know…”

“Yo-yo told me you had a sugar baby before me. That you married her.”

“I did have a sugar baby before you, yes.” Joel sighed.

“Why did you lie to me?” You demanded.

Joel shook his head, “I never lied to you. I just⏤ I never told you, and you never asked.”

“Really?” You scoffed. “That’s what you wanna hang your hat on here? Semantics?” Joel hung his head then shook it a bit. “I didn’t want to believe her, but yesterday Nima texted someone she knows. A private investigator⏤”

Joel’s eyes widened, “You hired a private investigator??”

“I didn’t hire anybody! Nima just texted them and they confirmed⏤”

“You went to a PI before just asking me?” Joel replied sharply. You leaned back in your seat⏤ in shock at his audacity. He must have noticed how you felt because he held up a hand. “I just mean, that’s a huge invasion of privacy and all you had to do was call me⏤”

You pushed out of your seat and turned to leave. Joel called out after you before following. He grabbed your hand to tug you to a stop and you glared at him over your shoulder. You snapped, “If you’re just going to stand there and be defensive then there’s no reason for me to be here, Joel.” You pulled your hand out of his grip and spun to face him. “I understand that getting in contact with a fucking PI was a crazy move, but yesterday I felt a little crazy.” You scoffed. “I felt like an idiot. I felt like a naive, desperate idiot who got played. So, yeah, I let Nima text her cousin’s cousin’s cousin to find an answer because the thought of standing in front of you and asking⏤”

The rest of your words got caught in your throat. You didn’t want to get emotional in front of Joel. More than anything you wanted to keep your cool and be collected. Just in case he did break your heart, you could walk away with at least some of your dignity intact. Joel took a step closer. Thankfully, he didn’t try to touch you, but he did lift his hands slightly in surrender.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m being defensive. Hell, I'm being an ass.” You locked your jaw and let your eyes focus on something over his shoulder. Unable to stare into those deep, dark eyes. “This is… This isn’t an easy subject for me to talk about and I⏤ I panicked. I want you to hear me out. I want you to know the truth.” He shifted in his stance so your gaze was forced to meet his. The longing there made you suck in a sharp breath. “Please. Give me another chance to explain this. I’ll do better.”

You rubbed the back of your neck with your non-injured hand and gave a small nod.

“Thank you. Thank you.” Joel repeated himself. He took a step back but kept his shoulders facing you as if he thought you were a flight risk. Joel motioned to his couch. “Do you wanna sit? I’ll grab our drinks.” You sighed and meandered over to sit down on one end of his leather couch. Joel didn’t move back into the kitchen until after you were seated. He came back with both of your drinks and handed you your own before sitting on the other side of the couch. One cushion of space between the two of you. 

You took a sip, trying to gather your thoughts, before nodding once. “I want to know about your wife first. Celina, you said? I want to know about her.”

“Yeah.” Joel swallowed thickly. “Do you remember anything I mentioned about Sarah’s mom before?”

“I didn’t know her name.” You replied. “You said the two of you had dated for, like, three months?” Joel nodded. “She got pregnant, and you worked it out. Things were fine, but two weeks after Sarah was born she left. You never said the two of you got married though.”

“Because we didn’t.” Joel replied softly. “I asked. Proposed to her when we found out she was pregnant with Sarah, and she said no.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he wasn’t meeting your gaze anymore. Joel stared down at the coffee mug in his hands. “I loved her. She was my first real love, actually. I knew our situation wasn’t ideal, but… I wanted it to work. I saw a future with her.” Joel ran his thumb back and forth on the edge of his mug’s rim where it reached. He chuckled, “When Sarah was born… Those two weeks? It was⏤ It was good. But, uh, then she left.” Joel shrugged in a way that attempted nonchalance but did not meet the mark. “Her leaving hurt for a lot of reasons. For one, in no way was I prepared to take care of a newborn.”

You set your drink on the coffee table before leaning back. Joel stayed silent, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and you recognized the look of someone getting stuck in their own memories. You spoke up, “What happened then? When did you get married?”

“Celina is…” Joel began. He rubbed his jawline. “I spent a lot of time being furious with her⏤ hating her. Not just for leaving me behind, but for leaving Sarah. Sarah deserved better.” He shook his head. “But she… she came to me, needing help, and I⏤ I couldn’t say no. Not to her. And not because I still had any sort of feelings for her, but because no matter how angry I was at her she gave me Sarah.” A vulnerable softness filled his features and he finally lifted his head to meet your gaze fully. “Without Celina, I wouldn’t have Sarah.”

You could understand that. You knew that his daughters meant absolutely everything to Joel. More so, despite all the shit going on between the two of you right now, despite Joel arguing otherwise, you knew he was a good man. You had a very hard time picturing him saying no to anyone who came to him for help. 

“When did she come to you? And why? What problem is solved with marriage?”

“Three years ago. Just about.” Joel mumbled. “It’s… She was sick. Cancer. The only feasible treatment was going to bankrupt her because her insurance refused to cover the cost. Celina came back wanting to see Sarah. Get to know her before she died.” Your eyes widened in surprise at both the news and the confusion that came with trying to connect the dots. “I told her that was up to Sarah⏤ she was old enough to make that decision for herself and I was gonna support her with whatever she chose.”

You nodded slowly, “Okay…”

“Sarah decided she did want to meet her mom. And I…” Joel paused. He set his coffee mug down on the coffee table as well and laced his fingers together. He was fidgeting. Another nervous tick of his. Joel could never seem to keep his hands still when he was caught in his own mind. It was like his hands so desperately wanted to fix what stressed him out⏤ even if it wasn’t a physical problem they could fix. “I⏤ I couldn’t stop thinking… remembering…”

Joel squeezed his eyes shut, and the palpable pain had you shifting closer. It dawned on you. Words clicking in your mind. You set a hand on his forearm and gave it a small squeeze, “Your mom.” Joel had told you, ages ago, that he had lost his own mother to cancer. “You lost her. I remember you telling me.”

“Yes.” Joel unlaced his own fingers so he could settle one hand on top of yours⏤ still resting on his forearm. The tip of his thumb dragged back and forth against the knuckle of your index finger. Tracing the shape of it. “It wasn’t… It wasn’t the exact same, I know that, but… Sarah technically had already lost her once.”

“Joel…”

“I offered to pay. Pay for the treatment in full.” Joel’s thumb stilled to squeeze your hand once. “I’d cover all the costs, but⏤ but Celina refused. Said she didn’t want,” Joel scoffed with a humorless laugh, “Didn’t want to be a ‘charity case’. Said she didn’t come back for my money, or for me to fix the problem, she came back for Sarah.” Joel shook his head. “We argued in circles for God knows how long. We finally settled on this. If we got married, she’d have my insurance instead of her own. My insurance would cover most of the treatments and she’d pay what it didn’t.”

You understood that. It matched up with what you knew about Joel. “How is she? Now?”

“In remission. Since seven months ago, she’s been in remission.” A small smile flickered on his features. “She lives in Waco. Wanted to be closer to Sarah. One of the only reasons I could stomach all of us coming to LA while Sarah stayed in Texas for college. I knew she’d at least have her there in case of emergencies.”

Your face scrunched in question, “Then why… Why are you still married?”

“I don’t have a reason. Not a real one. Not beyond me just being lazy.” Joel said firmly. He held your hand tight, keeping it pinned to his arm, like it was a lifeline. “Up until now, it didn’t matter to me. It made no difference. That’s it. I swear to you, sugar.” The nickname fell out of his mouth like second nature. “And I’m working on changing that already. You can ask Tommy or⏤ or hell I’ll give you Celina’s number or our lawyer’s number. We started the official divorce paperwork the day you and I got back from Vegas. It was the first call I made after dropping you off at your place.”

You did believe him. As Joel held your gaze, all you could see in those soulful eyes was a deep desperation. An ache seeking the comfort that would come with reassurance. “I believe you.” You said softly and his eyes closed in relief. His entire body sagged as the tension seeped out of it. You really did believe him, and of all the ways this could’ve gone wrong technically you supposed this was the best case scenario. However, learning this made you realize what aspect of this bothered you more than most. You slid your hand out from under his. “Why… Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was… I was going to. After.”

“Why though? Why after?” You shook your head. “Why didn’t you trust me with this?” Joel’s face fell again. “I know we haven’t known one another for long, but…” You bit back your words before you admitted to the naive truth that you felt some sort of connection to him. That being with him was as easy as breathing and you foolishly let yourself get carried away. “I don’t…”

Joel quickly scooted closer, a hand held up in surrender, “Had nothing to do with⏤ with me not… I do trust you. I do.” Joel shook his head. “Me not mentioning this had nothing to do with you. It was me.” His words reminded you of Vegas. This excuse was sounding familiar and the more you heard it the harder it was to believe. He hung his head and winced. “I need to tell you about⏤ about Erina.”

“That’s…” You began. “Is that your sugar baby?

“Yeah.” Joel nodded. “But it was more complicated than that.”

“So, I’m gathering.” You mumbled. The words of frustration left your lips before you could filter them. In this situation, you felt you had every right to be upset and bitter, but the look of pained guilt that filled Joel’s features made every cell in your body vibrate with regret. It felt like you had just kicked a puppy, and those sad, brown eyes were heart wrenching. “Sorry.”

Joel shook his head quickly. “No. Don’t. You don’t need to be sorry. I do.”

“You’re talking to me⏤ answering my questions.” You replied with a small shrug. “The least I can do is not be petty.” You twisted your lips. “So? Tell me about her.”

“She wasn’t my sugar baby to begin with.” Joel started softly. He turned his head to keep his gaze on the mug sitting on the coffee table, and you found the story easier to stomach without those powerful eyes focused on you. “My company got hired for a job. It was a big one, which is why it came across my desk. Some summer project. A finance guy wanted his vacation house completely renovated in Malibu. I decided to take a more hands on position for the entire thing. Stayed on site to work.” It wasn’t a shock to hear. You were plenty aware that Joel spent most of his work time on site if he could. Joel only donned a tie for the board room when Tess wrestled him into it. “The guy who hired us wasn’t there, but his wife was. At least, I thought it was his wife.”

“But it wasn’t.”

Joel gave out a sad chuckle, “No. She wasn’t. Erina was… lively and energetic. She was fun, and I… It had been a long time since I experienced that kind of light hearted fun. Plus, the client, when he did come around, was such an asshole to her and I⏤” Joel sighed. “She left him midway through the project, but we didn’t get involved with one another until after it was over. When it started, it was great. The honeymoon phase was…” His voice trailed off as a small, sad smile crossed his face. You found your stomach churn in jealousy at him talking about this other woman. It was damn near nonsensical, but the emotion rose up regardless. “The issues started a while in. I realized that we saw the relationship differently. I thought… I thought what we had was real, and she only saw me as her new sugar daddy.”

For a while, we just went on. I didn’t think the difference in how we viewed things would matter. Stupid, I know, but… I thought I was happy.” Joel mumbled the last bit. He lifted a hand to rub at his jawline. “As you’ve probably figured out, I’m not⏤ I’m not good at this. Relationships and…” He tensed. “Some people are just better off alone, but I’ve been too hard headed to accept that.”

“Joel.” You interrupted the flow of his story at his claim. You didn’t believe that and you especially refused to believe it about Joel. “That’s not⏤”

“Things were still working until I…” Joel shook his head. “I told her about Celina. Tried to explain the situation to her, but when she told me to get divorced and I couldn’t⏤ that’s when it all started to crumble. I didn’t actually end the relationship until after I found out she was seeing a few other guys.” You opened your mouth the speak, the beginnings of a sentence you didn’t know how to end slipping from your tongue, but Joel suddenly turned in his seat to face you and the look in his eyes silenced any attempt at speech. He hesitantly reached out and let his hand settle on top of yours. When you didn’t pull away, he squeezed his grip tighter. “You and Erina are not the same. It wasn’t until after we stopped seeing one another that I realized how terrible our relationship had been. So please, please, don’t think I’m comparing you to her because I’m not. I know how she reacted is not some⏤ some default and you wouldn’t necessarily react the same, but… but every time I considered telling you about Celina, all I could imagine was you leaving. And I, selfishly, stopped myself from admitting the truth to you because I didn’t want to ruin this the way I ruin everything else.”

You murmured his name. Early on, you recognized Joel had trust issues, but you had never realized it stretched this far. Joel didn’t trust even himself. It broke your heart that he thought so poorly of himself. No matter how upset you were at the man you knew deep down he was a good. His mistake had hurt you, but it hadn’t been born of malice. You saw that now. Fear and self doubt had brought the two of you to this crossroads. 

“Joel, that isn’t true.” You said softly. “You don’t ruin everything.”

“The evidence is pretty damning.” Joel chuckled sadly. You opened your mouth to argue, but he shook his head quickly and held out a hand to stop you. “That’s not the point of… I should’ve told you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I should’ve told you, been up front about it all, and I’m sorry.” Joel sighed. “I’m sorry, sugar.”

He had answered a number of your questions and with the truth came the relief of knowing.  Plus, the answer technically hadn’t been your worst case scenario. God knew your brain was plenty capable of thinking up some nightmare-ish situations. So in comparison, it would be worse. Still, there was an itch that hadn’t quite yet been scratched.

“Why… Why seek out a new sugar baby?” You asked. His experience with Erina had obviously been less than ideal so why try again? You shook your head, “Why me?”

“Those are two very different questions.”

“How do you figure that?”

“I …” Joel began hesitantly. You could see his thoughts jumbling in his mind as he struggled to string one along. Conversations like this were hardly considered Joel’s comfort zone so you did appreciate that he was trying. That went a long way as well. “Erina came back into my life not so long ago.” You felt your stomach drop and your heart clench painfully. The emotional response was so physical that it nearly made you sick. Joel must have noticed because he quickly reached out and settled a hand on your shoulder. “No. Not like that. She means nothing to me. She came to me wanting to get back together, harassing me about it, but I’ve made it crystal clear to her and everyone around us that I have no interest in restarting something with her. Especially now.”

“Okay…”

“The idea was…” Joel winced sheepishly. “The idea was to hire a sugar baby as a way to show her that I was serious. We were done and I was moving on.” It was ridiculous enough that from anyone’s else mouth you wouldn’t have believed them, but they had been said in Joel’s sincerity. “I know how that sounds.”

“Not good. It sounds not good.”

“I know. Everyone told me it was a bad idea. Tess, Sarah, Ellie.” You found it interesting that his daughters knew about their father’s love life to that degree. It spoke to how close they were and his stance on honesty. Joel chuckled. “Actually, the only person who agreed with me on the plan was Tommy, but I suppose that should’ve been a sign to give it up.” Your lips twitched up mildly in amusement. “But, deep down I knew it would hurt Erina, and I… I wanted to be petty.”

You shrugged, “And I’m apart of this… how? To annoy Erina?”

“No.” Joel said firmly, almost roughly. “Absolutely not. Remember the day you bought me that coffee? I said I had been meeting with some other, um, women?” You nodded and let him continue. “By time I made it to the that coffee shop, I had already half decided to give up the idea. It was obviously going poorly. I was literally just looking for someone I wouldn’t mind spending time with and I couldn’t even do that. But you were… God, meeting you felt like a breath of fresh air.” He messily ran a hand through his hair while his other continued to fidget. “You stayed on my mind and when I spotted you again…”

“I…” You tried to find the right words. The ones he would want to hear. It felt odd to give forgiveness for a misunderstanding, but you knew that’s what he was seeking. Validation. “I forgive you.” 

The relief on Joel’s face was staggering and when he held a hand out to you, you knew exactly what he was asking for. You closed the space and let him pull you into a hug. His warm, large hands enveloped you as he craddled the back of your head to hold you as closely to him as you could. You wrapped your own arms around him and lazily dragged your thumb up and down where it rested. 

You did forgive him for this. That was the truth and you meant it with your whole heart, but this entire experience was eye opening. You had fallen for Joel so dangerously fast. It made you realize that if this had been a different scenario, one of the nightmare-ish ones you imagined, it would’ve destroyed you. With the speed you were moving in, you would’ve hit the ground at a million miles per hour and shattered. You forgave Joel, but you needed to figure out a way to better guard your heart.

“I’m sorry for reaching out to a PI.”

“No. Don’t be.” Joel pulled back and the hand at the back of your head dragged forward to cup the side of your face. He sighed, “You were right. I should’ve handled this better, but I… I do appreciate you saying so.” The two of you sat in a moment of silence and for the first time since you met him that silence felt awkward. Joel must have felt it as well based on the clearing of his throat and fidgeting. “So… Are we— Are we okay?”

You nodded, “I think so.” The tension left Joel’s shoulders and you quickly stood. “I should… I should go.”

“You’re off today though, aren’t you?” Joel stood as well.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Stay. Please.” Joel motioned back to the kitchen. “Have breakfast. I called Tommy and he’s gonna bring over your stuff.” Your eyes widened in surprise and he shrugged. “Tommy is gonna bring over your friend who has your stuff I should say.”

You hesitated, nervous after this heart to heart, but Joel held out a hand to you. Equally a peace offering and lifeline. You just weren’t sure if it was a lifeline for you or him. You set your hand in his and he gave it a small squeeze. The smile on his face was soft and open. Two words you knew not many people were able to claim as a description with him. 

Joel led you back toward the kitchen and when you turned to try and go back for your mug he stopped you. He settled you on one of the bar stools, hands lingering on your hips briefly, before going back to the living room for both your mugs. 

“You know, when I pictured you spending the night here this wasn’t quite how I thought it’d go.” Joel chuckled and grabbed a plate. You leaned on the counter and waited since you knew that plate he was making was meant for you. It took a second for his words to dawn on you. Joel pictures you spending the night in his home with him? Your face and neck warmed at the thought. It wasn’t like you hadn’t had those kinds of ideas, but hearing it from him still made your heart flutter. Even with the disaster miscommunication still lingering in your rear view mirror. “Here. Lemme know if you want anything else.” Joel set the plate in front of you and handed you a fork. After making his own plate, he pulled the barstool beside you closer and sat down. He sat sideways to face you and his knee pressed against your stool. “We could, uh, we could have a day in.”

“Hm?” You took a bite of your food.

“We’re both in pajamas and neither of us have work.”

“You don’t have work?” You asked in surprise.

Joel shook his head. “I already called Tess and told her I wasn’t coming in today. Told her I was feeling sick.”

“Did she actually believe you?” You smirked.

“No.” Joel chuckled. “She didn’t. But she also didn’t call me out on my shit, so…”

He gave you a charming smile, obviously trying to lighten the mood, and you found you appreciated it. Things weren't perfect, but for the sake of what had been you were willing to try.

[natewriteslol]

"Short" Fuse

Summary: Despite not really being close, Chilchuck opens up to you about being short, you listen and offer some interesting counters to his insecurities.

A/N: a lil sum sum :P

It had been a long, adventurous day, yet Laios continued his search within the dungeon for some food. The entire party was hungry, but of course the two chefs especially held the urge to eat. They both wanted to go after these specific monsters in the area that could be tasty, something about these snail creatures and main course. Despite apprehension from Marcille she tagged along and Izutsumi not wanting to miss out on the action and still wasn't tired due to her slight nocturnal nature followed suit.

They assured the remaining two should keep watch of the supplies of your camp. And with waves from all of them except from the beastman, the four were engulfed within the darkness of the dungeon.

Leaving solely you and Chilchuck.

Your relationship was most definitely not the closest as he adopted a fatherly nature amongst the other members of the party except for Senshi and you. And whilst that makes sense as the dwarf and yourself were both adults just like Chilchuck, it still was completely different.

You honestly just chalked it up to you joining the party at a later date than the rest, despite bonding with the rest of your other people, even getting closer with someone as combative as Izutsumi.

Truth be told, you couldn't stand it as you were at a stand still of a lack of satisfaction. You weren't liked and you weren't disliked as you both almost never spoke to one another. But you persevered and decided to completely break the ice, not caring if you were being weird at this point.

"How is your sight so good?"

He was caught completely off guard, thinking that you both were going to sit in silence the whole time.

"What do you mean?" Chilchuck asked back, side eyeing you.

"When defeating golems, you're the first to spot their hearts before anyone and you spot weak points on different creatures also that others are blind to. How do you do that?" You explained.

"Half-foots typically have keen eyesight, it comes with the hearing too. Big eyes, big ears," he put it simply.

You continued to poke and prod at him and you ended up making decent conversation with the man, even getting a couple of laughs. But somehow your topic had evolved from weaknesses, to then insecurities.

"Laois is an idiot, but I would rather have more height and be able to perform in battle a little more. Half Foots mainly need to stay out of the way and let other people handle it. It feels...cowardly," he says, putting his arms on top of his knees and sighing.

It was catching you a bit off guard but I guess the saying of opening up to a stranger than someone you know is making itself very apparent at the moment.

"I completely disagree man," you replied, taking a more casual approach.

Chilchuck didn't want to completely block your opinion and he was curious about what you had to say surprisingly , "What are you saying?"

"I'd argue every person in here obviously has an asset that they possess, meaning one would fall apart without the other. Also we have all been in close to death situations and you're usually the most likely to survive due to your height," you explained, poking at the fire with a twig as you sat on the cold dungeon floor.

"I guess," he replied, looking off to the side. But the look on his face had told another story, as if the brunette had more to say.

.

.

.

"Ever since my wife left me, I've been more caring about how people percieve me. Gets on my goddamn nerves."

There it was.

The Half-Foot blurted out, both horrified and relieved he got that off his chest. He held a small pebble within his palm, semi- gently throwing a rock into the fire, crackling the wood and which sent out light embers into the air.

He had been definitely holding that in for a long time, and had no idea how to say it or if he could even speak it aloud. It's common for people to feel that way, more vigilant and embarrassed over what others have to say about them especially if they're single. But it had been a while since the Half-Foot truly felt it after being married for so long.

And for the past five years, it had been completely gnawing at him and his security as a man. He was twenty nine yet still couldn't shake that feeling, but with his occupation, Chilchuck couldn't exactly dwell on romance mid-lock picking or battle.

But on quiet nights like this, it got to him.

"Well, you're lucky you're a good looking guy, otherwise you would be screwed," you said bluntly, taking off your boot to get some dirt out from the inside. He was honestly speechless, had you of all people thought that? Or were you just talking to make him feel better.

But this whole interaction makes him feel so weird, but it's not a... negative feeling.

"You are so damn ridiculous, you know that?"

"You can think whatever you want Chilchuck, but I think deep down you know I'm right," you said, your eyes still fixated on your boot cleaning process. Your statement made a blush spread across his cheeks.

"This dungeon is making me talk to you, I swear," he replied frustratedly, growing "tired" of your antics.

"Well good thing we had this talk, since we both have had things on our mind for a while, huh?"

Although you both opened up about how you've been feeling, Chilchuck was doing a majority of the talking on this subject. Was that what you mean? The beginning when you were talking about yourself and not his appearance and you finding him attractive?

Right?

And just as he was about to inquire further, the short man was quickly cut off by a certain loud blonde.

"Hey guys, we're back!" Laios said excitedly from afar, his voice echoing slightly on the dungeon walls, his hands were wet with wet giant snails whilst Senshi carried a large sack of god knows what on his back.

Marcille and Itsuzumi looked green in the face with disgust, but you knew they would most definitely eat the monster Escargot that you knew the dwarf would whip up. The sight always brought a smile to your face, especially their hypocrisy in finding everything Senshi and Laois made yummy.

As you sat up to go and help with dinner, you looked over your shoulder, "Thanks for the talk Chilchuck, we should do this more often."

This was might not curate the best outcome, but why didn't he want to stop?

Why the hell did he even care?

[steddieas-shegoes]

Hi! I've spent hours reading your Steddie stuff when I honestly should have been sleeping because work and adulting. Gotta be some of my favorite writing! You have requests/prompts open? I have 2! If you like them :) 1. The Soulmate idea of people having a moving animal tattoo representing their Soulmate. Steve has hyperactive bat who loves to drape itself around his neck quite possessively. Eddie with a retriever pup or something that likes to curl up over his heart. 2. Always a sweetheart Steve? No King Steve era thing. He bugs Eddie to learn about D&D to understand his kids better qnd our poor metal gremlin melts :) I'm Soft Boi, so sorry for no angst.

I'm posting the 1st one here, but on the second one, I am gonna just give a rec instead. Last Man Standing by @griefabyss69 (GriefAbyss on AO3) is kind of this request but taking it to filth level 😈 But anyways, this idea is so fucking cool my dudes. I love a good soulmate AU, and when it's something super unique like this, I lose my shit. I definitely think someone could make a slow burn with this idea and if anyone does, please let me know! - Mickala ❤️

---------------------------------------------------------

He used to hate it.

A bat was such a menacing and disgusting creature.

Anyone who saw it would give him a look that was equal parts apologetic and concerned.

But when Steve started getting left alone at home, when he only had surface level friends, when he cried himself to sleep because the silence wasn’t enough to drown out the negative thoughts, the bat wrapped itself around his neck, and he didn’t feel so alone.

He’d started sleeping with his hand on his shoulder just to feel closer to his soulmate.

Hoped that whoever it was wouldn’t be disappointed that he was theirs.

————-

Eddie convinced himself for his entire childhood that the golden retriever tattoo that ran up and down his arms every day was some sympathy soulmate tattoo.

There was no way his soulmate was someone this hyper.

And then Wayne explained there was usually a story behind the tattoo, something more than just the personality or energy of a person.

At night, the retriever would pace across his chest, eventually settling right over his heart.

He wondered what his tattoo representation was.

He hoped it was a bat.

————-

“Dude, it’s not a big deal. Just show us!” Tommy yelled to Steve from the pool.

Steve had managed to hide it from his friends for so long.

He wasn’t ashamed necessarily, but he definitely didn’t need Tommy and Carol or any of the rest of the basketball team to see it.

The tattoo often stayed hidden pretty well during the day, usually hid on his thigh or stomach. He got away with always wearing shirts for practice and skipped post-practice showers with excuses that he had a study group to get to.

But his pool was a problem, especially now that he was at an age where everyone wanted to come over to swim when his parents weren’t around, which was often.

He tried to make excuses, said he was just worried about the sun, worried about a creepy neighbor watching.

It only worked a couple of times.

Now it was night, so no sun.

The neighbor was on vacation.

And everyone expected him to strip down and get into the pool.

So he did.

Everyone stared in silence as the bat flew from his stomach to his back and settled on his shoulder.

It seemed like it wanted to be seen, but still wasn’t sure how it wanted to be perceived.

Steve could relate.

No one commented on it, probably too afraid that one wrong word would get them kicked out of the pool permanently.

When he went to bed that night, the bat took its place around his neck, his hand rested in its place against his shoulder, and he sighed.

“I hope you’re being seen,” he whispered into his empty room.

——————-

The golden retriever was completely still for more than eight hours the same night Starcourt exploded.

Eddie tried not to panic for the first few hours, knew it could be any number of reasons the tattoo wasn’t moving.

But after hour six, he called Wayne at work, worry carrying over the line as fireworks boomed in the background.

“It’s not moving. It- you said when it stopped it meant- they can’t be, though.”

“Eds, take a few slow breaths, son. C’mon now, you’d have known if he-”

“But what if mine’s broken? What if the connection isn’t right?” Eddie tried taking breaths, but it wasn’t working.

The more he thought about it, the more likely it was that his soulmate was gone.

By the time Wayne made it home from work, the retriever had moved from his forearm to its usual place over his heart, and Eddie was fast asleep on the couch, his hand resting on top of it.

—--------------------

Being dragged into more freaky Upside Down shit was not on Steve’s to-do list. Then again, it never really was.

He wouldn’t have even bothered coming with Dustin and Max if not for the fact that Dustin was terrified something had happened to his new best friend Eddie.

He tried to hide his terrible mood, but knew he was failing.

He woke up this morning to his bat already on his leg, seemingly asleep, though it was normally still around his neck or on his shoulder when he woke up.

It hadn’t moved all morning, and he was a little worried about what that might mean.

He was also getting more worried by the day that he’d never meet his soulmate.

He knew it was dramatic, but most people he went to school with had met theirs by now, their tattoos now permanently placed in matching spots on their bodies.

“Dustin, this is so stupid,” he reiterated for the hundredth time as they walked up to the boathouse door.

He kept thinking it to himself as they poked around looking for Eddie, as he was being held against the wall with a broken bottle to his neck by Eddie, as he felt a flutter in his stomach at the way Eddie was watching him as they told him about the Upside Down.

He didn’t take the time over the next couple of days to pay much attention to his tattoo, didn’t really consider the fact that what little time he slept, he was so out of it he didn’t even notice whether the bat was on his neck or not.

Didn’t think about it until a moment in the RV alone with Eddie, when something in his brain told him to check on the bat.

“Sorry, just. Can you wait one second?” Steve interrupted Eddie’s thought as kindly as he could.

“Uh, yeah?” Eddie responded, confused.

He slipped to the back, not bothering to close the curtain that separated it from the rest of the RV.

He lifted his shirt in hopes of seeing it, but it wasn’t there.

He groaned and unbuttoned his jeans, rushing to just check and see if the bat had moved at all.

He shoved his jeans down and frowned.

It was in the same place still.

On his inner thigh on his right leg.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, or what he thought was under his breath.

“Everything okay?” Eddie’s voice was much closer than he expected, making him jump and rush to pull his pants back up. “Shit, was that your tattoo?”

“Yeah. It hasn’t moved in a while.”

“Neither has mine.” Eddie moved in closer. “Actually, mine’s on my thigh too. Kinda makes it hard to check.”

“Which thigh?” Steve couldn’t help asking.

“Right.”

“What is it?”

“Golden retriever. Can’t really imagine who it would be,” he admitted.

Steve’s first and only pet had been a puppy. A golden retriever named Daisy.

She was his entire world for almost a year until she chewed on one of his dad’s expensive watches and ended up being given to a man who worked with him.

He cried for days after that, didn’t talk to his dad for weeks, not that that was difficult to do since he was gone more often than not.

He vowed that he would get another one the moment he was an adult.

That didn’t quite work out.

But his nannies all used to call him a retriever, his energy contagious in the best way, his playful demeanor a relief. As he grew up, it got dulled by his parents, expectations, society, but he knew inside, all of that was still there.

“What’s yours?” Eddie asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“A bat.”

Eddie tilted his head and looked at him, eyes squinting to take him in.

“A bat?”

“Yeah. He’s a playful guy, but kinda shy it seems like,” Steve’s smile was fond until it was sad. “At least until he stopped moving.”

“When did he stop moving?” Eddie ignored the fact that it was a he for now.

“I guess I noticed it the day we found you in the boathouse.”

They both stared at each other for a moment, possibly coming to similar conclusions.

“What about yours?” Steve asked quietly, though something told Eddie he already knew the answer.

“The day you found me in the boathouse.”

“I-”

“How-”

“Dingus, we gotta go!” Robin was suddenly yelling as the RV door slammed open.

They could figure this out later.

They would have to.

—-----------------------

As Steve sat by Eddie’s bedside in the hospital, he thought about how often the bat tattoo had been the only comfort he had, the only thing that kept him from being completely alone.

He thought about how Eddie had always done his best to include the people who didn’t belong anywhere else, how he’d put on a show to protect himself, but hated being seen.

Wayne watched him from the other side of the bed, silently judging him, probably trying to figure out how to kick him out.

But he couldn’t.

He felt the pull now.

Now that he’d been around Eddie, somewhat gotten to know him, how he was fearless when it came to the gremlins, was willing to give up his own life if it meant getting Dustin to safety, he could feel the tug on his heart.

It was inconvenient since they didn’t know when or really even if Eddie would wake up.

So he waited.

He waited for Wayne to kick him out. He waited for doctors and nurses to have answers. He waited for Eddie to wake up.

He waited to know if he’d be able to have his soulmate or not.

—-------------------

Eddie’s first word when he woke up was Steve’s name.

Steve let out an uncontrollable sob, curling down so his head rested in the sheets of the bed.

Wayne’s hand was on his back, his voice trying to speak to him and Eddie at the same time.

They’d gotten closer over the last few days, Wayne’s calm presence enough to keep Steve from completely losing his mind with worry.

But the pain meds in the IV drip seemed to catch back up to Eddie within minutes and he was asleep again.

“He woke up though. Your boy woke up,” Wayne said to him, holding his hand.

“Yeah. He did.”

—-------------------

When Eddie left the hospital, Steve insisted on pushing his wheelchair to Wayne’s truck himself.

The nurse agreed with little argument; The hospital was incredibly understaffed and overrun with patients from the “earthquake” and she had a million better things to do.

The walk down was mostly quiet, but not awkward.

“I think some of my tattoo is missing,” Eddie finally said, barely more than a whisper.

“From the bats?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. Doesn’t change anything.”

“No?” he asked, voice full of hope.

“Not a thing for me.”

—------------------------

They dated.

It was unconventional in every way.

Steve had never pictured himself with a man, but now he couldn’t picture himself with anyone but Eddie.

Eddie had to explain that they couldn’t just go out and hold hands like any of Steve’s other dates, they had to be careful.

It wasn’t always easy; Steve got frustrated and Eddie got insecure.

But they always ended their nights with soft kisses, with whispered words of comfort and promises.

They fell in love like that, the tattoos only the beginning of something that no one could have expected.

[writer12]

I really, really, really, really just wanted jax (TADC) smut plss

Well, it will be difficult, but I will try to cope. Thank you for writing your request and happy reading!

It has been officially proven that the characters do not have genitals, and the Amazing Digital Circus looks like a place where adult things are not possible at all.

But let’s assume that they have genitals and can do adult things, but only in their personal rooms.

I believe that Jax doesn’t care about gender, he can do this with guys, girls, and non-binary people.

Considering his height, I think his penis is a little above average in length and thin.

From his appearance in Digital Circus, I assume he has some rabbit-like habits. He can do this like a rabbit for a couple of days, but still he is still with a human consciousness and tries to control his urges so that his partner does not become overtired and so that others do not have unnecessary questions.

Definitely is a big tease and would tease you even in public. He doesn't care how others react, he just finds it funny to watch you get embarrassed. “Why did you bow, sweetie? Are you feeling bad?” He would say, teasing you with a mischievous smile.

If you could bring 'adult things' into the Digital Circus, he would keep a whole box of such goodies and try half of them on you, if not all.

There's also a minor headcacon, but I think he'd be smoking weed and trying to get you hooked on it.

His favorite positions would probably be missionary (watching your facial expressions and teasing you), mating press (due to its pseudo-bunny features) and against the wall (this stems from his love for an additional audience and because you will be more embarrassed)

Even though he likes to do it in open places, he is very possessive and definitely didn't want to have a threesome.

Little headcanon. When he comes inside you and gets overstimulated, he may make a few rabbit squeaky noises. But don't mention it, he will be ashamed.

(Yes, I've been gone for a long time. But hey, I'm back and ready to write and draw for you all! Stay tuned for updates soon!)

[youremyheaven]

Jupiter Influence Among Korean Actors

Over the years, I have noticed a distinct pattern in the Korean entertainment industry, where most stars considered to be icons have strong Jupiter influence in their charts. Korean general public prefers celebs with a graceful and elegant image, who also have "duality" (they're cute but fierce) and Jupiter natives are endowed with these charms.

I had already mentioned female Kpop idols & Jupiter influence on a previous post, so, this post will focus mainly on Korean actors.

Song Hye Kyo is arguably the most successful Korean actress of all time. She has been in the top billing for over 20years at this point.

She has Hasta Moon (I had mentioned in another post about how Hasta women are revered for their femininity and grace), Uttarashada Ketu (UA gives one a glamorous image) and Vishaka Mercury Atmakaraka.

Atmakaraka is what signifies our soul's purpose, hers lies in the Jupiterean nak of Vishaka.

In fact, its very common for Korean actors to have their atmakaraka or amatyakaraka in a Jupiter nakshatra.

2. Park Minyoung has Venus in Purvabhadrapada as her atmakaraka

She rose to fame playing a young girl who disguises herself as a guy in order to attend school in ancient Korea. It is her family's dire circumstances that push her to attend school in order to find work. This whole drama is very Jupiter coded and the majority of the cast have strong Jupiter placements as well.

Her most popular drama is What's Wrong With Secretary Kim where she plays the secretary to a CEO who is almost inept without her micromanaging his life. I've noticed that many Jupiter women tend to be in this position where, in whatever relationship dynamic, others don't know what to do in her absence because she often single-handedly runs the whole place and makes it look easy and only in her absence do they realise that its far from easy.

3.Kim Ji-won is Punarvasu moon

One of her best known roles is that of Choi Ae-ra in Fight My Way, which I would say is a very typical Punarvasu character. Punarvasu's enthusiasm, almost childlike behaviour and charm can fit the description of a quintessential Asian romcom protagonist and Choi Ae-ra is a very good example of the same. Her rise from the bottom rung of the ladder to working hard to get where she is, is also a very Jupiterean tale (since Jupiter moon natives go through their Saturn mahadasha as young adults).

4.Kim Go-eun has Punarvasu mercury & ketu

Kim Go-eun's first ever starring role was as Eungyo in the movie of the same name.

It is the story of a teenage girl who becomes the object of desire for a 70yr old poet. The movie is very Punarvasu coded imo. In fact, regarding her casting, the novelist, whose book was adapted to the film, had this to say:

 "She was perfect for the forever virgin and forever young image that Eun-gyo symbolizes."

This is literally the embodiment of Punarvasu energy which makes the native simultaneously sensual and innocent.

5. Gong Hyo Jin has Vishaka moon atmakaraka and mercury in Purvabhadrapada amatyakaraka

Her character in When the Camellia Blooms is very Jupiter coded. Jupiter energy can often be manifest as a kind of innocence and naivete and a tendency to be a goody two-shoes.

6.Shin Min-ah has Saturn in Vishaka as amatyakaraka

Her most well known role would be that of a doctor in Hometown Cha Cha Cha, in which she plays a person who refuses to compromise on her principles/ethics to get ahead in her career and has to end up leaving Seoul for a small town. This is again, very Jupiter coded because Jupiter influence makes natives very righteous and possess a strong sense of integrity.

7.Han So hee is Vishaka sun

She was recently in an MV for Jungkook's song 'Seven' which features a quarrelling couple. I've often noticed that with many famous Vishaka women, fighting with their partner, often publicly seems to become attached to their public image. This could also apply to their relationships becoming controversial in general. Miley Cyrus, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Lana Del Rey, Jennie etc all have their luminaries in Vishaka with the exception of Lana who has a Vishaka stellium and they've all had relationship drama that caught public attention in a major way.

The role that catapulted Han So Hee to fame was that of a married man's mistress in the drama The World of the Married👀

8. Jung So-min has Purvabhadrapada Sun & Venus (atmakaraka), Punarvasu Moon (amatyakaraka)

in Because This Is My First Life, she plays a broke writer who despite being a good daughter is not appreciated by her family at all, and despite being good at what she does, faces trouble in her workplace and is overall just going through a not so good time . As I've said before, Jupiter natives go through their Saturn Mahadasha as young adults and this phase is a difficult one where they have to work very very hard to get things done and make any kind of progress. Most K-dramas that focus on the adversities of life, as experienced by a 20 something probably has a Jupiter dominant native as its protagonist.

in general, the reason why Jupiter dominant men & women dominate Korean entertainment, be it music or dramas, is because of the kind of content that Korean entertainment focuses on and the kind of people that the Korean public chooses to support. K-Dramas are known for their complex plots, often focusing on people at conflict with their values and ideas, struggling with their conscience, facing life's challenges and overcoming adversity; class struggles, portrayal of wealth/lack of it, rising to the top, underdogs emerging as winners etc. These are inherently Jupiterean.

Even with Korean music, it has a unique system in place where idols have to "train" for several years before they make their debut. Being hardworking and being an "ace" who excels in several areas is prided on in Korea; in such a culture, it makes sense why Jupiter dominants emerge as the ones on the very top of the food chain.

Now, we'll talk about some male actors😋😌

Lee Minho has Mars in Punarvasu & Mercury in Punarvasu (his atmakaraka & amatyakaraka)

Honestly, his entire filmography is very Jupiter coded 🤣 The role that made him a household name was that of rich, spoilt heir to an immensely wealthy family who is the most popular guy in school and leader of his rat pack.

His most successful role is that of a King in the drama The King: Eternal Monarch which is about an ancient Korean emperor who time travels through a portal into modern-day Korea. Both the fact that he's playing nobility as well as the fact that the drama features time travel/alternate reality esque things makes it VERY Punarvasu coded.

(Punarvasu's element is ether and its deity Goddess Aditi is the Mother Goddess and creator the universe itself, many time travel/movies about the nature of reality feature Jupiter natives)

The drama co-stars Kim Go-Eun, who I have already mentioned above as a Punarvasu girlie🥰

2. Gong Yoo is Punarvasu sun (amatyakaraka)

He starred in the movie "Silenced" which was based on a horrifying true story where he plays a teacher at a school who tries to stand up for and protect differently abled children who are routinely subject to extremely cruel and abusive treatment at a boarding school.

Punarvasu natives are known for standing up for others, especially those who do not have a voice/who are unable to stand up for themselves. These natives have a strong sense of justice and empathy and do not think twice about questioning authority.

His character in Coffee Prince is one which made him a household name and in this drama, he plays a chaebol heir who falls for a young guy who is actually a woman disguising herself as a guy 💀I feel like Jupiter men have at least one movie/show in their filmography that is very queer coded (ex: Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon with My Own Private Idaho)

His most well known character is that of Goblin in the drama of the same name, where he plays an immortal who seeks salvation. Very Punarvasu coded.

This is just a personal observation but I've noticed how many Punarvasu men have an androgynous vibe 🥵

3.Kim Woo Bin is Punarvasu sun (atmakaraka) and mercury

His breakout role was that of a wealthy chaebol heir in the drama, The Heirs.

Playing the CEO's son or the CEO, who is initially arrogant and then faces different trials and tribulations and ultimately redeems himself is a common Kdrama trope and I've noticed that the actors picked for these parts the most tend to be Jupiter-dominant.

4.Song Joong Ki has Vishaka moon & saturn (his atmakaraka)

Vishaka is a rakshasa gana nakshatra and I'd previously observed how many mafia movies feature rakshasa gana natives as the main leads. Joong-ki's Vincenzo sees him play a mafia lawyer.

His character is Arthdal Chronicles (featuring fellow Jupiter girlie, Kim Ji Won) is also very Jupiter coded. Its about the birth of civilization and life in the ancient world. Joong Ki plays the leader of his clan.

5.Park Seo Joon has Purvabhadrapada moon (his amatyakaraka)

He is one of those actors who plays himself in every show/movie he does. This means all his characters are charming, slightly awkward or a little dumb, but good natured and caring individuals who go above and beyond for others. This is like a quintessential Jupiter man trope.

Especially his character in Fight My Way, is VERY Jupiter coded and features fellow Jupiter native, Kim Ji-Won.

A slightly stupid but endearingly adorkable guy who works a low end job and trains to be a boxer whilst looking out for his friends and loved ones? Especially his whole side arc with his ex gf on the show is such a Jupiter guy thing; to forgive a woman and be there for her even though she never cared for him and only kept him around because he was sooo nice to her and did everything for her. I've seen this happen with many Jupiter guys because as Claire said in her video these are the nice guys who women keep in the friend zone because even though they're perfect and extremely courteous, women don't feel like they could be a serious partner.

His character in Itaewon Class explores Jupiter in a different way. He is a struggling businessman who is engaged in a long drawn out battle with a chaebol and finally emerges victorious in the end. Despite the chaebol's petty and below the belt tactics, Seo-joon's character always took the high road and held on to his principles and conducted himself with integrity. Jupiter natives are almost always destined to be the bigger person.

6.Park Bogum has Mercury in Punarvasu as his atmakaraka

He rose to fame for playing a motherless prodigy on Reply 1988. His character was a typical Jupiter one; he's very talented, successful and recognised for the same but he takes no pleasure in it and does not really indulge in the privileges it offers him.

His most famous role would be that of a Prince who falls in love with his eunuch (who is actually just a woman pretending to be a eunuch) in the drama Love in the Moonlight. Like I said before, Jupiter guys have at least one queer coded project in their filmography lol.

7.Park Hyung shik has Sun & Mars in Vishaka (his atmakaraka & amatyakaraka)

His most famous role is that of a CEO in the drama Strong Girl Bong Soon.

8.Yoo Ah In has Venus in Vishaka as his atmakaraka and Jupiter in Purvabhadrapada as his amatyakaraka

His character in the movie Burning represents the dark side of Jupiter men.

His drama Chicago Typewriter features him reincarnating in present day Korea after initially living in the 1930s.

Jupiter influence is visible in movies/shows that have tropes of alternate reality, reincarnation, time travel etc.

[selfishpresley]

Cuando Calienta El Sol/Hentai/Desafió

Her bite reflex got worse when he looked so good. And Judith knew that he loved it when she lost control and just started biting. 

But she couldn’t do it now, she had to give him a massage for working so hard. Pushing himself to get on that podium and place a hand over his heart for her. 

Sergio’s usually tanned skin getting darker with the sun. Her hands were massaging some luxurious and amazing smelling sunscreen lotion. All over his arms. Then shoulder. Then abs. Then his chest. 

She squeezed his pecs and saw him raising a brow behind his sunglasses.

“Amorcito,” She started, hands moving by themselves as she ran her hands over the waxed skin and growing muscles. Her mouth watered. “Te voy a comer vivo. Te vez–” She shook her head in wonder. (Little love, I’m going to eat you alive. You look–)

He smiled his little shy smile. Embarrassed. “Ya estoy viejo.” (I’m old now.)

She rolled her eyes, her sweet man. “Pues yo también.” (Well, me too.)

“No, pero– Mirame.” He gestured to his body. (No, well– Look at me.)

All she saw, she wanted to bite and mark. If she brought her knife, he could be at her mercy. “Estas super sabroso. Te la quiero mamar.” She didn’t know which part of him she wanted to suck. Judith was in the mood to give him the sloppiest– (You’re super delicious. I want to suck on it.)

“Judit.” he looked around at the private beach. Red faced that made her worry that she needed to put some sunscreen on his cheeks again.

“Just the tip.” It was soo freeing being his cockslut out in the open. Knowing that she was the only person to taste him and touch him like this. 

The flush reached his chest, as under her butt, she felt him harden at the thought despite his disapproving frown.

“No querias cogerme aqui.” She tried not to pout. He hadn’t wanted to fuck her for the past couple of weeks. Being too tired from his sims and work. She understood and tried not to let it get to her. There were moments in their relationship where they cuddled and went to sleep. But now she was horny and riled up after he whined to her about not wanting to put on sunscreen. Laying there, being all sexy as she hovered over his lap and gave him a much needed massage. (You didn’t want to fuck me here.)

She loved this man. Loved him so much, and desired him. Wanted to consume him. Eat him up. Bones and all. She would be trying to burrow her way into his chest. Sleeping like a tinkerbell in his chest cavity. 

If she had a dick, she would be trying to get him pregnant at all moments. Now, he looked a bit unsure. “What’s wrong?”

“Me senti,” His downturned eyes turned sad. “No me sentí muy bien. Me estoy envejeciendo.” He shrugged, trying to shrug it off. (I felt, I didn’t feel too good. I’m aging.)

Her possessiveness had to be put to the side for this. “Sergio Michel,” God there weren’t many times that she cried but tears wanted to burst from her eyes. “Eres el hombre más guapo con quien yo he estado.” (You’re the handsomest man that I've ever been with.)

“Soy el único hombre.” He interrupted. (I’m the only man.)

“And for good reason.” She could have her pick of the assholes at the agency. The sharp suits, the senator’s sons. Prospective precedents. Millionaires. Billionaires that still had hair. “Out of all of the guys that wanted, I wanted the Mexican man with thick fingers and thick co–”

“Judit.” 

“Eres el mas guapo. Eres Tom Cruise sin la religion loca.” She thought about that. “Con una religión menos loca.” (you’re the most handsomest. You’re Tom Cruise without the crazy religion. With a less crazy religion.)

He laughed at that.

“Tienes– ¿Que? ¿Treinta tres?” People were talking about her retiring, back home. “Estás en la mejor etapa de tu vida. ‘Sos un adulto’.”(You have– What? Thirty three? You’re in the best stage of your life. ‘You are an adult.’)

“No me hables como Javi.” He groaned and covered his face with his large hands. Thick fingers, indeed. (Don’t talk to me like Javi.)

She pulled a hand so he would look at her again. “Eres un hombre, te sientes viejo porque no tienes veinte años. Pero te faltan muchos para que alguien te mire y diga que ya estas muy viejo.” (You’re a man, you feel old because you’re not twenty. But a lot of years are left until someone looks at you and says that you’re too old.)

The only wrinkles on his were on his balls and around his eyes. Crows feet from smiling. Judith didn’t tell him that. He knew how obsessed she was with every inch of him.

“A veces me siento como una pervertida, quererte tanto. Ser tan posesivo contigo. Porque sé que si posteas esas fotos de nuestras vacaciones, la gente se volverá loca.” (Sometimes I feel like a pervert, wanting you so much. Being so possessive of you. Because I know if you post the pictures of our vacations, the people would go crazy.)

He shook his head like what she was saying was ridiculous.

“Es la verdad. ¿Por qué crees que me enloco por estar tan cercas de ti siempre? ¡Alguien te va robar!” (It 's true. Why do you think that i get crazy to be near you all the time? Someone is going to steal you!)

“Estas loca.” He laughed. In a better mood now. Calmer. He exhaled and released some tension. “Me senti, no se–” (you’re crazy. I felt, I don’t know–)

Cont. in AO3

[lol-jackles]

I'm rewatching spn and Jared 's portrayal of Sam when possessed by demon Meg in season 2 I think is sooo good! He really appears unhinged when he comes out as the demon, and even the scenes where Sam (possessed by Meg) is acting like Sam, are so wicked. I think this is the first episode where Jared sort of portrays a character who is not Sam (in mind, body and spirit) and he really does a wonderful job.

With Dean's character I've noticed that whenever he is in mortal danger, like making the year long deal to save sam's life, or the mark of cain arc, or being possessed by Michael arc, and many many more arcs in the later season, Dean just completely gives up on himself and on life. I HATE this attitude with every cell of my being! MORE than Dean being codependent on Sam and not letting him live his life without Dean. I hate this defeatist attitude so much. And then everyone else around him has to worry for him and take care of him and find resolutions for his issues. While with Sam, he doesn't give up till his last fighting breath. I love that!

 Meg!Sam was probably the first time when casual watchers sat up and go, "whoa, the kid can act!". When Meg and Castiel became a canon couple, I thought it was a huge missed opportunity that Meg didn't possess Sam again and gift us scenes of Castiel swooning after a flirty Meg!Sam.

Yeah, Dean's defeatist attitude was a plot device that can get tiresome, starting in season 5. Still, it was a plot device that usually works as part of Sam's hero journy arc.

From Sam’s point of view, Dean’s endless self-inflicted apathy is part of the long list of crappy-things-to-do-to-Sam.  Like in episode 13x05, Dean temporarily killing himself so he can go into the dead zone to find the bodies and free the souls, while a good idea (I guess???), was still a very crappy thing to do to Sam as there was no discussion, just “here’s a needle give me five minutes being dead okay see you later.”  It’s been ongoing since season 2, so I don’t blame Sam in season 14 for thinking the Mal'ex magic box business is just the latest in a long string of events of Dean causing himself harm and then giving up at the first inconvenience.  Sam’s angry speech in episode 14x11 “Damaged Goods” was not only about Dean cutting Sam out of his plan with no discussion but also for giving up by using blind faith in fate as an excuse (“since when do we believe in fate?”).  Sam’s speech in episode 14x12 “Prophet and Loss” recounts their long history of defying fate and surviving literal and figurative hell because they had faith in themselves. Dean is forgiven for forgetting this lesson every season because the plot device kicks in just in time to give us some of Jared's finest acting of Sam’s decade-long frustrations with Dean’s obstinance, causing him to breakdown and ask, “why don’t you believe in us?”, like a child asking why adults do stupid things when the adults should know better. 

Dean's defeatist attitude is part of the determinism (Dean) vs free will (Sam) philosophy that ran through the series by Sam confronting and challenging the authority figures in his life: John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Lucifer, and then God. They all wanted Sam to be something he didn’t want to be - John’s solider, Dean’s companion, Lucifer’s vessel, and Chuck's story.  Eventually, Sam acquiesced to their demands but on his own terms, he became a hunter to leave a legacy, became Dean’s partner to save him, became Lucifer’s vessel to save the world, became Chuck's story to defeat him and bring free will into the world through Jack, a nephilim he essentially raised and influenced.

Dean: "Finally free"

[airasora]

Just came across a list of anime/Manga characters where the main couple is essentially canon etc even though one of them is being, shall we say, "forceful" with their feelings towards the character who initially has no interest in them. You know the types, it's Usui and Misaki from Kaichu wa maid sama, it's Shizuku and Haru from My Little Monster, it's Sana and Akito from Kodomo no Omocha, etc etc etc.

And I see people in the comments calling people who like these couples, characters, and types of stories all sorts of horrendous things. I saw someone even saying that if you enjoy "SA romance," as they described it, then you must be a r*pist in real life.

Yes, they said that. And far too many agreed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again; being an adult means you need to be capable of separating reality from fiction. Just because a person likes to listen to true crime podcasts doesn't mean they're a murderer, and the fact that there's ADULTS out there who genuinely think that makes sense is concerning.

What I DON'T mean by separating reality from fiction that is that you have to enjoy mediums that you don't enjoy. No one wants to force people to watch a piece of medium they are uncomfortable with.

But please try to get it through your skull that just because someone likes something that would be problematic in real life doesn't mean that person themselves is inherently bad nor that they would ever commit or encourage these fictional scenarios.

I love dark romance, I love the "boy is so into a girl that he's stalking her and being a creep about it", and I love me some dub-con. This is a fact. What is also a fact about me is that when a guy I had been chatting with sent me 30+ messages while I was at work, that got more and more unhinged and possessive, I immediately reported him and blocked him.

Cause that shit isn't fun IN REAL LIFE because you can't control it. In a book? You can close the book. You can pause a movie and watch something else. And you can blacklist a show.

It all boils down to consent, and I'm so tired of this discussion.

[sharoscylla]

it's been over a year since BG3's full release so i'm gonna say it

i don't think myrkul actually did resurrect isobel thorm from the dead. based on her description of what happened - and the facts that in that same cemetery they made a point of having a tomb with someone wearing Boots of Feign Death + malus had that sharran paralysis amulet - I think she was put in a form of Feign Death either by an agent of Shar, Shar herself, or Malus as a way to prod ketheric into joining malus in shar worship. (also that shar specifically didn't let isobel die JUST to spite selune and melodia who would naturally be waiting for isobel in the afterlife) I think it's as simple as somebody realizing 120~ years later that she only SEEMS dead in there and lying their ass off to convince ketheric that they resurrected her instead of waking her up, with myrkul backing up the lie because honestly he doesn't have very many active worshippers at any given time, and none so powerful as ketheric is or was.

i also don't think isobel is ketheric's only child! dialogue + ingame journals make it pretty clear to me that gerringothe and thisobald are ketheric's chlidren, based on the fact that they're more elfish than isobel and ketheric I'm guessing those two maybe had a different mother than isobel, and ketheric was a shit dad but neither selunite or sharran even though his uncle malus was a sharran. Ketheric meets melodia, converts to selunite worship for her, eventually they have isobel and he's supposedly a pretty good dad to her, which, you know, probably raises the hackles on his adult children who had to live with a cruel and demanding father. thisobald had his own terrible shit he was up to prior to being trapped there forever in the shadowcurse, but other than being a bitchy embezzling boss gerringothe was just... trying to save up money to flee town and never come back, and the shadowcurse trapped her there before she could find the courage to actually make the leap.

speaking of which, the thorms are czarr-levels of incest coded. I know I've been saying I'll write the Thorms Were All Molested By Ketheric And Malus manifesto for a year now, but that will have to wait for when I'm slightly less busy. ... or, well, it'll feature in the Ripley Savage AU, but they're just now getting into the Underdark in that one, so, you know, it's a ways away.

This is not Gortash Apologia (...probably just a bit) but do you really expect me to believe Zariel went "Yeah sure, I'll take this 21 year old tiefling with no specific skillset that's exactly like a million other mortals, and not only will her soul not be in danger from this deal but I'll make sure she doesn't die of shit that would normally kill a person to death, just so i can spend a couple years grooming her into a super strong warrior that will do cool tricks for a few years before her inevitable mortal demise, at which point i still won't have possession of her soul so it'll be fucking off to the fugue plane at that point, here's A Big Pile Of Super Rare Infernal Metal I Invented During My Reign Over The Last 130-140 Years, I'll also let you study the blueprints of the guy who is designing her heart engine because that's definitely the kind of information I want floating around the Material Plane where anybody could get their hands on it/you".......... no man. I think Gortash paid/convinced Zariel to take Karlach and make her strong. Zariel probably did not want Raphael building himself a stronghold in what should have been her domain, so I can believe that they came to an agreement as a way of mutually spiting or undermining him, and I think - considering the steel watchers were just in the prototype stage when Florrick last was in Baldur's Gate within a tenday or two, i do not believe for a second gort just sat around on the materials and plans for a decade without *starting* the project - that he didn't actually get his hands on the plans or materials for the watchers until his durgeheist much much more recently, say 1-2 years ago at the most. "But karlach said Zariel said XYZ when-" zariel lied. why would the archdevil of avernus be the one telling the whole truth here. at that moment Gort was Karlach's Main Person (her parents dead, she flat out says she loved him and respected him and was happily building her life around being his trusted bodyguard) and Zariel needed to make sure Karlach would be easier to control re: depending utterly on Zariel to survive etc. once she had the engine installed it'd be even easier to control her - soul coins, keeping her in the middle of the blood war front lines instead of screwing around asking questions or making alliances - and of course, zariel couldn't have known that karlach was ultimately indomitable, even if it took a decade for her to slip her chains.

I know... I know, it was already the product of years of labor, and stuff like multiple act 3 storylines didn't end up getting the amount of attention they deserved... but i wish there was a magical item crafting system beyond "1 sussur weapon/eye of the absolute spear/mourning frost/exactly 2 grymforge items"+alchemy. We found all that mundane jewelry and all those gems and I don't care if it would have all been mid equipment, I want to have been able to make the campers all wear matching Rings Of +1 Besties. I also hunger greatly for "hey, if you're going to spend 30+ hours in Act Three anyway, and you have the money for it, why not just buy an apartment or house for you and the squad and decorate it as you see fit" + the fallout 4 style settlement creator post-game. Even if I couldn't get past the level 12 cap I'd still be out there hunting monsters to make my village safe + get supplies to make my village/house cool looking + attract stronger villagers. please let me create a city-state. i desire it so much.

[mugrootbeer]

Hi - it's time to come clean.

The person who ran this blog originally, and registered this account in 2016, is dead.

I don't know the specifics, and I don't know who the person that ran this blog was. I'm almost certain it was due to COVID-19, because I purchased the laptop that allowed me access to this account in winter of 2021, through Craigslist. A woman was selling a few of her possessions that belong to a deceased relative, and though I did not talk to her or ask for details, it was pretty clear the stuff she was selling belong to a young adult.

I've been running this account in their imagined memory for a few years now, but I've started to think about how this is all kind of fucked up. I've taken over the identity of a complete stranger and I still have access to their E-mail accounts, their bank account information, all of their saved passwords - it's been hard to bring myself to purge them, even though it feels morally wrong, like I'm some weirdo peeper.

To that end, in an attempt to move forward on a couple of different things in my life, I'm formatting the hard drive of this laptop and going to freshly reinstall a new operating system on top of it. I'm cutting myself off, permanently. Thanks for enjoying this blog, and I'm really sorry that this had to be the way it ended.

RIP, mugrootbeer. I hope it's good in Heaven.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

It's a Supernatural Thing

18+ MINORS DNI

Dean Winchester x Eddie Munson

Every so often when I rewatch Supernatural now, I think about Sam and Dean going to a bar after a hunt.

Dean was checking out a girl with tight jeans and dark curly hair. Everything about her screams metalhead. . .until the girl turned around. Dean spat out his beer. It was a dude. He had a little bit of scruff on his face, his hair slightly graying, and he had the biggest brown eyes that Dean's ever scene. He was a few years older than him, and Dean still thought he was hot, despite the fact that he was a man, which made Dean panic for a moment until the guy got up on stage. He introduced his band, Corroded Coffin, and then himself. . .Eddie Munson. As soon as Eddie played, Dean was captivated. His eyes never left Eddie, following him all the way back to the bar after his epic performance. Sam was, of course, distracted by whatever was on his laptop until Dean stood up suddenly.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Doing what I always do in a bar, Sammy," Dean said, nodding in Eddie's direction.

"That's a guy, Dean," Sam said.

"I noticed. . .hot is hot, Sam, and that man is hot," Dean said.

"He's a little bit older," Sam said in amusement.

"Not by much, besides I'm 29, Sam. I've been a consenting adult for a long time. . .I'd definitely let him teach me a thing or two," Dean grinned.

"How do you even know he likes guys?" He asked.

"Until about five minutes ago, I didn't even know that I liked guys," Dean scoffed. "Our entire life is a risk, Sam. Gotta live while you can."

Dean approached Eddie, who was now leaning against the bar. His rear was jutting out, and Dean eyes followed it as it moved slightly. Eddie's legs tapped in time to the music as he chatted up the bartender. Dean's eyes followed as his shirt rose up, revealing a hint of a dragon tattoo on his hip. The rest of it was probably on his thigh. Dean could see the head and the tips of the wings. . .he wanted to see more of it.

"My eyes are up here, man," Eddie's voice called out.

"Hmm?" Dean asked, and then he looked at Eddie's grinning face. "Oh! Yeah, I was admiring. . .your pants!"

"Here, I was hoping you were admiring what's under them," Eddie said, flashing his dimples.

"Oh, I was," Dean said, swallowing as he found his confidence again and leaned against the bar. "I saw the tattoo, and I was wondering how far it went down."

"Oh. Just far enough," Eddie grinned, grabbing Dean's hand before leading it to his hip. "It starts off here, then it goes all the way down here, and then the tail goes off. . .here."

He moved Dean's hand to the middle of his thigh before moving it between his legs, letting his hand rest on his inner thigh. It was where the tail ended.

"Wow. . .can I buy you a drink?" Dean asked.

"It's hard to say no to a pretty guy with his hand between my legs," he said, winking at him.

Dean chuckled and squeezed his thigh before moving it to buy them a couple of beers.

"I'm Dean Winchester," he said, handing him his beer.

"Eddie Munson," he said, his fingers brushing against Dean's as he took the beer.

"I know, I saw you play up there. You were great, and when you played Master of Puppets, I nearly. . ." Dean trailed off.

"Nearly what? Threw yourself at me?" He smirked.

"Yeah. . .you were amazing with that guitar and your hands. . .made me wonder what else you can do with them," Dean said.

Eddie moved closer to him. So close that Dean could feel his breath on his face.

"Oh, so many things," Eddie whispered.

He placed his hand on Dean's chest, caressing him and fingering the button on his flannel. Eddie's fingers found themselves under the flannel, pleased to find that there wasn't another shirt under there.

"Laundry day," Dean said sheepishly.

Eddie smirked as he 'accidentally' pulled the shirt back a little.

"Oh, looks like someone also has a tattoo," Eddie said with a wicked grin and pulled back the flannel. "Oh. . .you tattooed the anti possession symbol onto your chest. . .smart. Why didn't I think of that? I'm still wearing the necklace."

"You. . ." Dean said in shock.

"I was wondering if you were a hunter. . .I'm glad I was right. Yeah, I do know about the things that go bump in the night and then some. . .," Eddie said and unbuttoned his shirt all the way down, revealing his scars. "Lost my nipple to a nasty bat like creature. . .still don't know what the fuck it was."

"Damn," Dean whistled as Eddie let him touch his scars.

Eddie let his shirt hang open as he took a drink of his beer, enjoying the way Dean's fingers trailed over his chest. The bar was too noisy and crowded for anyone to pay attention to what they were doing. Although the bartender was starting to give them looks. Dean's hand hit his belt, and he whistled again.

"You like the handcuffs?" Eddie asked, and Dean nodded. "I bet the belt would look better when you take it off later."

"A little forward there," Dean grinned.

"Aren't you?" Eddie asked in amusement.

"Not being forward enough, right now," Dean said.

He gripped Eddie's hips and pulled him close, crashing their mouths together. Eddie grinned against his lips as he cradled the back of his head as he pressed himself up against the younger man. Yeah, Dean definitely liked this. Just as Dean was about to slip his tongue into the man's mouth, Eddie broke the kiss.

"I have an apartment upstairs," Eddie whispered.

"Convenient," Dean gasped.

"I think we should probably move it upstairs before Steve the bartender sprays us with water," Eddie cackled.

Suddenly, they were stumbling up the stairs, mouths pressed together as they pulled at their clothes. Eddie quickly broke away again to unlock his apartment, and as soon as it was opened, he was pushing Dean up against the nearest wall. Both of them quickly kicked their boots off. Dean pushed his shirt off his shoulders before tugging his own shirt off. Eddie grinned before attaching his lips to Dean's neck, making his way down slowly. . .to his chest. . .licking the man's nipple on the way down. Dean tilted his head back and groaned. Eddie quickly undid his pants and yanked them down with his boxers. Dean was standing naked before him, and he felt very exposed. Eddie looked at him for a moment.

"This is your first time with a man," Eddie realized.

"Yeah," Dean admitted.

"Having a good time so far. . . Well, I guess I don't need to ask. . .you clearly are. Hello, there. . .sweetheart, do you want me to be gentle or rough with you?" Eddie asked.

"Yes." Dean gasped.

"Both it is," Eddie said. "I need a word in case I go too far."

"Puppet."

"Fucking perfect."

Eddie grabbed his chin and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. It was gentle at first, but as Eddie pulled away, he bit his lip. Dean groaned as he broke the kiss. Eddie grabbed his hand and led him towards his bedroom. He pushed him carefully onto the bed before stripping down completely, giving Dean a full view of the dragon tattoo wrapped around his hip and thigh. Eddie climbed on top of him and proceeded to show him a thing or two about being with a guy, riding him much like girls had done in the past. Dean gave into to every feeling, and every sensation, the headboard slamming against the wall as the music blasted from downstairs, Dean's hands gripping Eddie's thighs. Yeah, there was definitely nothing straight about Dean Winchester. Afterward, Eddie collapsed next to him, his sweaty hair surrounding his head like a halo. His skin was shiny as well, and it almost gave him an angelic look. As Dean gazed at him, he never felt more free.

[johnslittlespoon]

I love your bucky is dog fic so much!!! I reread it all the time it's so heart-warming and funny and just ahhh so good!! refreshing ao3 patiently and excitingly waiting for more<33

(a BIG mix of non–brainrot asks so i don't spam the timeline <33 some of these are from so long ago i'm so sorry. also lil disclaimer at the end about some specific asks i've been getting recently and why i won't be answering them! x)

1) !!?? you REREAD IT?? my heart wtf that's so sweet??? 😭💗 THANK U SM i will do my best to not let u down with future chapters even if shit gets a little bit angstier SDJKG <33

2) LMAO backseat gala–ing from the comfort of a couch 😭 judging the outfits as if they don't show up in plain tuxes half the time <3

3) <3333 thank u omg sjgkdk i'm so happy if my lack of stfu ability brings any bit of joy to anyone LOL

4) ILY THX LEGEND @air-exec u enable me too much <33

5) ALWAYS HAPPY TO INDULGE!! thank u for indulging my constantly rotting brain ur so kind 😭 <333

6) yaurrr i think it's just bc i do Not enjoy being around children LMAO i can't ever get into pregnancy/family dynamic type fics in general, i wish i could tho bc they're so wholesome :') but YEAH exactly ugh. it's like. the action of talking about it, especially when it's unattainable, is so intimate bc it's like an "i love you this much" thing. but it's also so hot bc the possession of it (and possible feminization depending on the pairing) sighhh

also i feel that sooo hard, sometimes you just gotta go where ur writing heart takes u yk? it's hard to write something if ur not fully invested :') and omg stop i WILL cry. 😭💗 wtf. thank YOU!! ofc i would read!! some ideas just /hit/ and urs is one of them <33 but also yes omg it's UP there (if not at the top) on my list of pwps i wanna write once i finish yad(iym) <33 thank you for sharing urs too and sending u good writing vibes regardless of what u write!!

7) GAHH this ones been on my ao3 read later since u sent this ask in!!! i literally have started a doc with links to moots fics i need to read/general fics i've stumbled across that look good and this one is for sure going in it. i do love reading sooo much, i just have the hell combo of adhd and dyslexia but i did start concerta a couple weeks ago which has def made it a bit easier to read lmfao thank fuck.

i think i just get in this headspace where i'm either a reader or a writer when i'm working on smth, idk if anyone else does this? i have a hard time slipping btwn both mindsets, i'm usually locked in on one at a time LOL but i need to get my shit together bc fuck everyone in this fandom writes so damn good and i want to leave long essays on all the fics and hype people up <33 i think once i finish the dog fic i'll take a few days to just consume my reading list to celebrate SJDGK

also omg i can't believe this ask is from before i even posted it that's crazyyy MY BAD. thank u and also that made me giggle JSKDG if that's my legacy in this fandom i'm honestly so happy ab that okay dog coded bucky is everything to me and i will do whatever i can to do him justice <333 and thank u again for the rec!

8) [ X ] UGHHH stop mammal RUINED me. he's soososoo pretty i want to die i think about that barry era as curt in the motaverse so often it makes me sick. i love pretty twinks!! xx (i have a whole motaverse au curtbucky where curt looks like 2012–ish barry and he's ken's age and they're cute lil mechanics together and it's so stupidly elaborate and niche and maybe i'll do smth w it one day who knows)

9) this is very sweet and i do appreciate you respecting my boundaries! thank you <3 i think a lot of people get annoyed at adults asking minors not to interact with nsfw posts on here bc the argument is always "they're gonna look even if you ask them not to" which, yeah, true! i was a teenager growing up online, i sure as hell did not let 18+ warnings stop me ever lmfaoo. i'm not telling minors to stay off my account because ik if people wanna find specific content, they're gonna find it. if teens are learning ab gay sex thru my blog, then at least they're learning ab it from a gay man who tries to keep things realistic in fic and who isn't a creep LOL.

that being said, i more so bar off minors interacting with my nsfw posts/writing bc i personally just feel uncomfortable discussing stuff like that with anyone who isn't an adult, and sometimes i don't have the time to check bios for ages (or sometimes bios don't have ages) before i reply to comments or whatever, so it's just easier to ask that y'all stick to the sfw so i don't accidentally brainrot some cooked shit with a child JSDJKG bc i would feel icky. i hope you understand <3

10) IT MAKES ME SICKKK. not only that, but when i was rewatching it with my irl last week, i realized that in e5 when bucky's smoking in the plane after gale goes down, he's sitting in the right (gale's) seat, which i'm pretty sure he doesn't do at any other time :((( like he was trying to be close to him in anyway he could </3

11) omg i've been meaning to watch that just to get a better inside look at stuff for world building purposes lmaooo but that sounds so wholesome :( i read that a lot of the guys would get real sad/touchy around holidays (obviously), so i could see a oneshot where one of them takes it upon themselves to try and cheer everyone up the best they can under their circumstances. a little found family holiday </33

12) thank u for the rec!! i'm suuuch a slow reader, i'm still working my way thru the actual mota book LOL but i've added this to my reading list <3 i think i might've actually read a couple excerpts from that one in doing research for my fic and it looks really interesting (and heartbreaking) so i'm sure i'll pick up a copy eventually :^)

13) oh 100% agree!! as someone who already isn't super interested in fashion/pop–culture, i find it very hard to look at the men's outfits and be blown away by any of them LOL but the women?? insane. was losing it over lana and zendaya's fits tonight ngl. hunter had me in a chokehold with last year's <3 tangent alright i always say this to my friends but i'm just jealous in general that women have so many more options in terms of clothes like.

okay listen i know i can leave my house in a skirt or crop top or whatever and a lot more guys are def starting to feel comfortable doing so. but i also enjoy not worrying about getting jumped or looked at funny! it's a lot safer than it used to be to do so, even in my small ass conservative town i'll sometimes put on some dangly earrings or a bit of rodrick–liner SJKDG but that doesn't mean it's normalized yet or whatever. point being that i wish it was because men's outfits would be sm more exciting at these fashion events if they had a wider range of options too!

but that aside, absolutely. until that changes, really it's not that hard for the men who are going with women (who don't want to go crazy with their outfits/who are more lowkey like you said) to just. wear something nice and on theme that compliments their partner's outfit and they'll be FINE. anything is better than something boring with no effort; effort doesn't have to equal crazy and fancy and elaborate. like austin's 2022 look has always been a standout to me because it was still a really nice look (even if it was simple) and it also worked so well because of who he had at his side. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i also literally don't know shit ab fashion so i rly shouldn't be speaking on it LOL. i just know some things make me go oh no and some make me go YUM

and that's probs the last i'll post about the met bc i rly don't care thaaaat much, i was just happy to see barry since he wasn't at the panel this weekend <3

OKAY THAT WAS SO MUCH I'M SORRY. i just felt really bad bc some of those have been sitting in my inbox for months bc i was waiting to compile them all into a post like this :-) but also one last thing, idk if it's bc of me stepping out of mota to talk ab the emmy stuff/the met this week, but i've had a couple gossip/drama(?) asks and i just wanna say rn that i won't be posting stuff like that, even though they've been worded kindly! one, because i rly only post about fic/brainrot/mota–fandom related stuff here (aside from rare exceptions like today lol). and two, because as much as i adore our boys and try to keep up with the things they're up to, i personally don't vibe with speculating about them (esp if it's in a way that kinda. forgets they are grown men who probably don't think twice ab some of the stuff that people think they do lolol). i have no issue with people who do like to talk ab that stuff, i follow update blogs and think it's totally fine as long as it's done respectfully! i just don't feel like talking about gossip fits the vibe here and frankly i don't care enough about what goes on behind the scenes half the time; i'm just here to create and support and be insane. <33 that's all, just wanted to say that so ppl aren't waiting to have those asks answered/aren't sending more in! x

[cyclesprefectpress]

hey hoo how's everybody doing. personally, not my best couple of months on record! and regrettably the first thing i drop when i get stressed is. text messages and social media accounts. which is ok but i've been delinquent on the online business management front and i feel i've been quiet here which i am sorry about because i do like talking about printing.

anyway i've got a bunch of WIP stuff piled up that I'm trying to get to! and some new projects i'd really like to finish this month. and i've also been doing a lot of long press feeds & many hours drawing on the light table and you know what this qualifies me to do. rate things on netflix (but ONLY if you aren't watching the screen):

dangerous lies: perfect non-watching watch experience. boy is it dumb but i always knew what was going on and also what was about to happen. the only thing i couldn't resist ogling was their fucking apartment which was SO big and tidily furnished when they're supposed to be barely making it financially. insane. 9/10

hypnotic: unfortunately this one is fun & good & doesn't waste your time with bad dialogue & i kept wanting to look up and pay attention to Kate Siegel's beautiful face which loses it points by this metric. 6/10

the boy next door: can you tell yet that i'm eternally searching for an erotic thriller that will stack up to Fatal Attraction. and failing. the problem is none of em have glenn close in em. this one sucks nuts 4/10

you get me: this is not what the erotic thriller is FOR. i want full adults torpedoing their own households and careers. teens making horny stupid decisions is just tuesday and the soundtrack is quite bad. 3/10

the nest: definitely not for not-watching. nobody is explaining themselves clearly for the audience or each other. it's also not at all scary, which was a surprise, but that's on me for having a one-note watching history and forgetting that dramas exist. 0/10, i sat down and watched it for real a day later and liked it quite a bit

deadly illusions: it's no Chloe but it is some very fun, greasy diner food of a movie. 8/10

the deliverance: hmmmmmmmm………………many people have more important opinions than me on this subject. i'll just say i was having a pretty nice time with some of the performances UNTIL i learned at the end that it was also about real people. so was the original Exorcist, distantly, and the distance sure does fucking help. 2/10

wild things: honestly a little hard to track what's happening without watching, because it's actually good & fun & there's like. real environmental details and mystery clues. good gravy it's crazy how hot Neve Campbell is all the time forever. 5/10, i was compelled to look up from my work table a lot

five star chef: completely bizarre conspicuous consumption experience. it's actually kind of nice not looking at the screen because i think the fullness of the view would make it way more uncomfortable. 7/10

selling sunset: unfortunately an extremely good non-watching show. now in a group i advocate for looking at the despicable houses together and tearing the decor to pieces, but as long as you're alone it is once again an improvement not to actually see the dollars and energy being dunked in the garbage and set on fire all over the curséd county of San Diego. glance up once every 10 minutes to see what they're wearing and you're gucci. 8/10

the perfect couple: a little challenging to follow at first if you're mostly identifying people by voices, but fun! nicole kidman is a delight; idk Eve Hewson from anything else but her character is made of uncooked spaghetti. as a person without Private Island Money i must protest for us, we're not generally this boring about it. 7/10

evil: netflix has been pestering me to watch this show for so long. they were right. it's bad & it scratches the monster of the week itch & the speed with which it simply, linguistically equates psychopath=literally possessed by demons is absolutely wild. i am currently stymied by the episode where they visit a monastery that's taken a vow of silence but someday i'll look up a summary and get past it. 6/10

culinary class wars (dubbed): i hadn't tried reality tv dubbing before and you know what, it's fine!! it does the job. there's absolutely no localization to make the jokes work in english or anything but that's a-ok. i really like the structure of this competition for some reason, and if the very annoying Class Warfare trappings make you uncomfortable like they did for me, be assured, they drop off pretty steeply after the first round and the actual participating chefs are perfectly respectful to each other. 10/10

[thebroccolination]

Is it bad to ship couples irl?! As I reallly ship boun and prem even though they’re most likely not together but the things they do for each other is perfect!!

Hi, Anon! You're gonna get a long answer to this, because I think the subject of shipping real people is one that deserves more nuance than just "it's bad" or "it's fine"! This is something I've wanted to write about for a long time, so I apologize for using your ask as a jumping-off point!

So, okay, I think there are two main conversations to have: 1) whether shipping real people itself is moral, and 2) how one should publicly conduct oneself when engaging in shipping culture in Thai fandom.

Is It Moral?

I think the most important thing to consider when shipping real people is what those people themselves feel about it. If they've expressed or showed discomfort with being shipped, then at that point, I'd scale back completely. Part of the fun of shipping for most people is the "oooh" mystery factor, and if someone straight-up goes, "Knowing that people are envisioning me engaging romantically with another person makes my skin crawl," then I simply wouldn't enjoy it anymore. Shipping people who don't want to be shipped just isn't my thing.

Now, if they seem cool with it, then the five main things I'd consider are: how old they are, how experienced they are in their industry, whether their place of work (agency/studio/etc.) has a history of exploiting its artists, whether one person looks less comfortable than the other, and whether or not they seem to fully understand and consent to the implications of shipping culture.

For BounPrem specifically, they're both in their mid-late twenties. They've been in the industry for over five years at this point, so they're adults who are well-versed in the industry and know full well what shipping culture is and its implications. They're also both regularly and demonstrably comfortable with fans shipping them. (For example: Prem in this entire video, Boun asking fans to write BounPrem fic for Valentine's Day, taking part in the joke about people "asking for" Prem, etc.)

On the structural side of things, Prem left his agency last autumn (on amicable terms) and has been independent since, so he's very much operating on his own terms right now. Boun is under Wabi Sabi, which is a small agency whose CEO, New Siwaj, is openly queer and fiercely protective of his artists' boundaries and reputations. New has gone on record multiple times saying he doesn't require or prod anyone working for him to do fanservice if they don't want to. New has also hired legal representation to combat the consistent homophobic hate speech against his artists (including Boun, who is far and away their artist with the largest following). New and his company have repeatedly proved they prioritize and respect their artists.

However! BounPrem do have boundaries, and they've been clear about them. When asked if they're dating, their most common answer is that if they do date, they'll neither confirm nor deny. ("We won't make it public, but we won't hide it either.") They're not the only ones to say this, and I think it's the smart route to take as far as marketing and protecting their privacy if they ever do date.

Certain interviewers seem to have crossed BounPrem's boundaries in the past, and fans have teased Boun for being possessive or jealous because he won't let anyone touch Prem. However, and this is purely speculation on my part, Boun recently commented that Prem hasn't always spoken up when he encounters problems, so he's been taken advantage of, so I think Boun has often taken it upon himself to stand up for Prem. Especially if he senses that someone is using Prem's quiet nature to their benefit and touching him in a way he knows Prem wouldn't consent to.

Essentially, Prem might not say something, but Boun absolutely will. He has a sharp tongue when he needs to use it, and he's not shy about reasserting boundaries where he himself or Prem is involved.

All that aside, we're human, and humans are curious. People like love, and they like people they care about to find love. So, y'know, shipping culture, when done respectfully, can be fun and doesn't have to be invasive.

Okay, So How to Not Be Invasive About It?

I'm not actually very useful here because I prefer to employ generous use of the fourth wall. It's just more fun for me to enjoy shipping among friends, so I don't really engage publicly.

However! For conduct in Thai BL fandom, I'd defer to the advice of Southeast Asian fans. It's their fandom, and shipping is part of their fandom culture. From what I've seen and heard, shipping is meant to be lighthearted fun, and using the worst examples of stalking and poor behavior isn't especially cool of anyone. Basically, Western fans swinging in on an Indiana Jones rope to lecture Asian fans for engaging in shipping culture are disrespecting a fandom in which they're guests and detracting from the overall experience for others.

Now, of course, if one's brand of shipping involves digging into the artists' personal lives, stalking their families or loved ones, feeling entitled in any way to literally anything other than what they're freely offering up, making the pair such a part of your personality that finding out one of them is dating someone else or just flat-out uninterested in their partner will ruin your mental health, then that's a hard no. In those cases, I'd sincerely examine what Missing Aspect of one's life shipping has become a toxic substitute for. There's absolutely no shame in self-reflection, mitigating the harm that can be mitigated, and moving forward with more respect.

So, like:

• "o no, @.bb0un hasn't seen @.prem_space in two hours, someone better send him photos to remind him what prem looks like" O

(Obvious teasing tones are common both among fans and the artists themselves. BounPrem are famous for being ridiculous, so it fits the mood they themselves have established.)

• "Giant*, do you miss your parents? #bb0un #prem_space #bounprem" O *Boun's dog

(Again, BounPrem themselves have played into the co-parenting-our-pets thing, so playing along is fine.)

• "@.bb0un @.prem_space are you gay" X

(Asking anyone their sexuality is not okay, not even when they're famous. It's none of your business, full stop. Don't. Do not. Stop. Desist.)

• "i spotted bounprem together outside work in their private time and took this very creepy video of them from underneath a parked car using a telescope lens that i bought specifically for my recreational stalking hobby dm me for higher resolution videos!" X

(I feel like I could have made this a little heavier-handed for fun but you get the gist.)

In conclusion, it's my firm belief that if shipping hurts any real people, not just the pair at the center, then it's an immediate cease and desist for me. But if it's mutual and respectful fun in which everyone knows it's nothing more than a wink-wink game to spice up promotional activities, go (reasonably) wild (within reason)!

Whether BounPrem are actually dating is their business, but they've regularly and enthusiastically embraced shipping culture done on their own terms, so as long as people keep it light and fun and respect their privacy and the privacy of their loved ones, I think you're good!

Have (respectful) fun!

(I just like this photo of them. They got matching Pride nails last year! They're Very Good and regularly politically active in protecting and promoting the rights of queer people. Deep respect. <3)