#and i would just be so fucking confused and upset
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Geriatric Millennial | Rooster x Reader
Bradley loves all things '90s. You don't completely understand it, but you appreciate his spirit.
1000 words
Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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There were certain scenarios that became normal over time when you were in a relationship with a man more then ten years your elder. Sometimes you didn't understand certain movie references. Slang words and jokes occasionally went over your head. He and his friends would often reminisce about trends you'd never witnessed. But Bradley never made you feel bad about it, and you never called him an old-timer unless you were joking.
You were used to these things, but nothing quite prepared you for what you saw when you got home from work. Bradley was relaxing on the couch in something that looked like a bright blue, full body straitjacket with some random vintage headphones on his head.
"What the fuck?" you muttered, inching closer when you realized he was listening to music and hasn't spotted you yet. You glanced around the room, trying to locate the source of disturbing chattering sound that just started, and you tripped over a hard, black ball.
Bradley looked up at you with a smile. "Hey, you're home early." He quickly stood in his weird, fleece outfit and leaned in to give you a kiss, but you leaned away.
"What on earth is happening here?" you asked, standing frozen as he pulled his headphones off.
"What are you talking about?" He looked puzzled by your words but not by all of the weird things in the living room.
"I'm talking about what you're wearing. And the robotic voice!"
"Oh," he laughed. "This is just my Snuggie."
"Your what?"
He glanced down at himself. "My Snuggie? I found it in a box of my stuff from highschool."
You were still so confused. "What's a Snuggie? And what is that weird sound?"
When his gaze fell to something fuzzy and brown on the couch, you jerked back in shock. "You mean my Furby?"
You glared at the critter and it's enormous, evil eyes. "Is that one of those things from that '80s Gremlins movie you're obsessed with?"
He barked out a laugh like you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Baby, no. It's not a Gremlin. It's just a Furby. But imagine if Furby manufactured replica Gremlins... Would have been fascinating." It was starting to sound like he was speaking a foreign language. "I was just listening to Chumbawamba on my Discman and playing with my pogs and my Tomagachi. I literally forgot the Furby was even here."
You were sure you were gaping at him like he had two heads as you reached up to run your palm across his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"
"Huh? No, but I did eat a Kudos bar I found in the box, so I might potentially have an upset stomach later. But it was worth it."
After you pinched the bridge of your nose, you asked, "I'm sorry, but what did you say you were listening to?"
"Tubthumping. By Chumbawamba. You know it, don't you? Pissing the night away, pissing the night away. I get knocked down...." He looked at you in wide eyed shock. "You don't know that song? How is that possible?"
You didn't want to tell him that Chumba whatever wasn't a word. And neither was Snuggie. Not when he looked so adorably baffled. You stroked your fingers across his forehead and down his cheek as you shook your head.
"No, I don't know that song, because I'm not forty like you are. And you look kind of alarming in this thing." You pinched the fleece fabric and pulled it away from his body.
"It's my Snuggie," he muttered. "It was from an Infomercial."
"I don't know what that means." He gasped and you started laughing. "But I would love to sit down with you while you explain it to me. As long as you don't make me eat something from the late 1900s."
He took your hand in his bigger one and and led you toward the couch and the demonic looking Furby. "Okay, but first, you need to listen to this CD. Because Jake told me Chumbawamba is a guilty pleasure, but it's actually really good."
About twenty minutes later, you were wrapped up in the Snuggie, enveloped in softness and Bradley's lingering body warmth. "I love this thing," you told him, burying your face in the fleece. "And yes, Chumbawamba is good, but I like Hoobastank better. And I'm really sorry I accidentally kicked your Magic 8 ball across the floor."
He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek as you skipped a track on his Discman. "That's okay. Hey, do you want to learn how to play pogs? The best part is, I'm not sure there are actually any rules at all."
"Sure," you said with a shrug. "Why the hell not? As long as you lock that Furby away and never let it out ever again."
"Heard."
#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster fanfiction#rooster x reader#rooster x you#rooster fanfic#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw fic#roosterforme
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had a lil thought about corrupting innocent step sis kazuha 🙂↕️ first with little kisses and then getting braver, hands roaming all over her, grabbing her ass, rubbing her through her sweats. gets so needy and whiney. her face beet red when you push her against the wall and make her nervous, boxing her in and playing with her.
she would definitely get desperate for you, humping your leg needing to cum, calling her your good pup and she moans into your ear. ehehehe
-🐶
STEPCEST, brief SOMNO
this got me thinking how stepsis!zuha would differ from stepsis!chaery because they’re quite similar to me and i think the major difference would be that, while the whole stepsis!chaery lore includes noncon, dubcon, toxicity, you made her like the thing, with zuha this would never happen because stepsis!zuha wants you, she feels like a pervert admitting it but she thinks about you all the time!! but like you said, to you she’s an innocent angel, her perversion doesn’t come even close to yours— she thinks of kisses and maybe some risky touching, you think of fucking her by the front door after she comes home from her ballet practices.
she thought you’re joking the first time, looking at her and asking if she wasn’t going to thank you for letting her borrow whatever thing it was that she needed from you, her little frown, muttering “…i already did?” and your smirk, stupidly pointing at your cheek saying you wanted a kiss. she really, really thought you were messing with her, you used to be kinda mean when you first met, but still tip toes to you, quietly, and leans to kiss your your cheek, mind failing when you turn your head and she hits your lips instead, stepping back seconds too late, staring at you in utter confusion not knowing to say something or not, expecting you would say something about it but you just go “you’re welcome” and tells her to go do her thing or else she will be late to meet her friends and she’s surprised with herself because she goes ?? her mind totally short circuited.
thinks about it for days, keeps on running the tip of her tongue over her lips as if she could taste you there, lays in bed at night tracing them. looks at you expectantly every day and dinner time being so weird because she pays more attention to you than any other thing which often causes your parents to ask if she’s alright because she seems so distracted and she blushes so hard when she sees a knowing smirk on your face. she would panic the night you decide to speak for her, getting up and telling your parents to not worry because you and her would clean things up. poor baby on the sink doing the dishes and almost breaking a glass feeling you wrap your arms around her and say how she is not as subtle as she thinks she is, how you bet you know what goes inside her little mind; is she thinking about that day? is she thinking about you? and she so would beg you quietly to stop it, she doesn’t want to talk about it, she would never deny thinking about you, she would be lying, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t get to be upset at you for toying with her.
but when you turn her around and get at proper look at her face and see her pouting?? what are you supposed to do, not kiss it away??? you can’t hold yourself back, lips on hers and pulling her so close you probably hurt her a little but the important thing is that she kisses you back, eagerly, without question, she needed it to happen again so bad, it’s pathetic, not knowing where to put her hands, whimpering on your mouth. totally does not forget about the dishes and has to have you promising to go to her room later for more to finally let go of you…
for some reason the poor thing thinks you would stop at kisses so the first time your hands get on her, grabbing her ass for no reason other than it looked cute in jeans one day she jumped, only to down on her then that it wasn’t so bad, growing to anticipate it. same for touching, touching her, but does nothing but break the kiss and bite her lip, closing her eyes, feeling the way your hand slides inside her pants the first time, carefully testing the waters by rubbing her over her underwear but she’s quite new to everything, a few moments and both of you feel herself getting so messy down there, your fingers slippery, hard to keep in one place.
even so, she still a bit confused by the thing you got going on, at least until you start seeking her more and more often, stealing kisses in risky situations, touching her in risky situations, your hand between her legs while you’re in the living room watching a tv show, speeding your movements as your mom or dad enters to ask you something and she has fries her brain focusing on not being suspicious with her little clit under constant assault under the blanket badly thrown over your laps. seeing an opportunity of full filing the fantasy of fucking her right after she arrives from her ballet practice and obviously not wasting, it’s rare for you to be home at the time and to be alone. angel girl with her cheek against the wall and you behind her not bothering to even take a piece of her clothes off and fingers making so much pressure down there, moans and whimpers and also “stop, you are being gross, i’m sweaty!!” only to shut up because you promise if she stops bitching you will maybe fuck her properly.
and you’re so right, she would hump your leg if too desperate but better if it’s one night you’re sleeping together— because there’s nothing wrong with that, you’re two girls, you’re sisters, your parents don’t see anything else— and you wake up because there’s something moving, moving on top you, warm slick cunt on your thigh, moaning muffled by her hand and she doesn’t realize you’re awake because her eyes are closed and almost falling off the bed when you grab her waist, “go on, pup, keep going”.
i love her so much :(
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I may be a little bit more forgiving towards the use of anachronisms or modern terms (Titans come from Greek mythology and champagne comes from France, neither of these words have a place in a fantasy universe if we're being very strict about it), but I also bristle at how the issue of gender and identity is handled in Veilguard. (I haven't finished the game yet, so these are just my impressions so far.)
I'm happy that we have a queer companion character. I myself am a trans man and so is my Rook. I don't particularly relate to Taash or the way they are portrayed, which on the whole feels rather shallow, but 1. I don't have to relate to every fictional character and in my personal opinion that is a GOOD thing (queer people tend to be upset when a queer character doesn't map 1:1 to their experiences. Guys, we keep asking for diversity! This is why!) 2. every companion character feels rather shallow, imo. I don't recognise my own experiences when I look at Taash but I think that I don't have to, and if their story feels shallow, well that's not unique to them.
But I have a big problem with the language it is couched in. It feels jarring! I would be ecstatic to discuss non-binary genders in a fantasy game, but for the love of god, come up with some terms for it! Aqun-Athlok was a great example, in that at least ONE culture in Thedas already has a word for a similar concept, it's a culture that Taash is connected to, they could have brought that up and iterated on it. They could have had a conversation on how in the Qun, gender is tied to function but in Rivaini society, it isn't. How one could be a warrior and still a woman, and how that doesn't have to have anything to do with one's body. Et cetera, et cetera.
There's a lot of... shoehorning in real world, modern day terms that I consider to be... hmm, I wanna call them ‘social media-speak’ similar to therapy-speak? Maevaris telling Taash that they are ‘valid’, or Taash (and rarely others) repeatedly calling artifacts ‘cultural’. How to tell the audience that you've read someone talking about colonialism on Twitter and just unthinkingly migrated that terminology into your fantasy game, lol. I would have been okay with them calling an item ‘culturally important (to the Dalish)’ or something but it's constantly Cultural™, almost as a noun. (Let's not get started on how they basically managed to make every single faction toothless as hell... The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, The Crows becoming Assassin Daycare, etc.) Feels jarring as hell. ‘Gender’ and ‘gender stuff’ also hurts my ears a little bit, especially with the constant repetition. I can barely have a conversation or hear any banter with Taash without it coming up.
And this leads me to another issue, which is that I think they bring up the topic constantly. Not just with Taash! There's one NPC you run into in the Hossberg Wetlands, who gets addressed as they/them from the first moment onward. I really enjoyed how nobody questioned that, there was just a random non-binary NPC in the game. Except later when I returned to talk to them further, the NPC told my Rook how another character was a super close friend to them, helped them figure out the whole non-binary thing and I was like... buddy we've known each other for 5 minutes. I think they knew that a lot of queer people were super fucking tired of characters being touted as queer representation when it's like... if you look at them and squint and tilt your head you can MAYBE tell they are queer, and they wanted to avoid that and overdid it a little.
In a way this game feels a little bit like Uncle Tom's Cabin, it has that ‘he a little confused but he got the spirit’ energy. In my opinion they have made the entire topic and conversation around gender exactly as annoying, inescapable, jarring and cringe as the average gamer dudebro would fear. Ya know? Like, if you put a trans character into a game who mentions being trans ONE time, those people would complain about the Trans Agenda Being Forced Down Their Throats. With Veilguard? Even I'm getting annoyed.
And I'm annoyed especially because they did a good job with these in Inquisition. They wrote a character whose personal quests revolved around being gay in a big way but 1. they didn't need to use any jarring modern day terminology 2. they managed to write it in a way that was emotionally resonant and made sense for both the world and the character; and they wrote a trans character who also didn't need any Gender Studies 101 terminology to explain who he was.
im definitely not a fan of this man on a personal level for several reasons but guys im starting to think da lost a load bearing wall when he left
#veilguard critical#not gonna tag this with the main tags for the game because I don't want people to see my complaining#I enjoy a LOT of things about Veilguard and I think it gets a lot of senseless hate#but I wanted to vent my frustrations 🤣
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Thanks
CW: cooties
It’s that Turkey thanks day here where I’m at. So I figured I would be that cringe fucker who gets overly insightful on today for a change.
But I figured I would sit down and tap for a second for anyone who would glance over at me today.
This past year has been, a lot for me. Good n bad and stuff but.
I wanted to say thank you to my friends. My dear friends.
I don’t think I would be the man I am right now without you and your support.
Like literally, prolly wouldn’t have been Raymond without you. You helped me test out everything and become comfortable with becoming Raymond. I can never be thankful enough for that, I’m closer to who I am and want to be even. I cannot express my thanks enough for that.
You guys support my artwork and my characters so much. You guys let me yap for so long and you let me send so many paragraphs for hours about my shitty ass stories and OCs. You’ve listened to so much Jolene Bennet and Pinky BrainRot you deserve awards. It seems silly but it means a lot to me that you guys are willing to listen to me insanity. I’m not that interesting of a person, so my characters are all I’ve got going on, it just means a lot that you are willing to listen.
You have also had to bear witness to the Birth of Jarble as well as its continued development. Which is very special to me due to why I made Jarble to begin with. It means the world that I can feel comfortable sharing it, developing it, getting tips and bouncing ideas back and forth. Jarble went from a shitty AU I made to escape from everything into something I hold dear to me. It’s special now, it might have died out and fizzled. So thank you for helping me create something special. Also the fact that I’m willing to share my writings with you guys show how much I trust y’all, my writing sucks and you are the few who get to witness it. I will say however, fuck you for the sheer amount of Jeden emojis, he haunts me and you do this to me I’ll get you /silly
As well as you guys aren’t afraid to call me out on my shit. If I’m doing something wrong, if I’m being out of line or overreacting… you call me out. You come to me and talk and help me get better as a person.
You were in the trenches with me when I became a Aggressive, Distrustful person who snapped and was going crazy because I was being stalked. Helped me gain the courage to speak out when I got doxxed by Travis. Stuck with me when I had to change antipsychotic medications and I went absolutely batshit and had to go to the hospital. When I was stuck in bed for nearly two weeks because I was practically almost dying. You guys… for whatever reason. Stuck with me.
You didn’t have to stick around, I never would’ve judged you if you did. But you stuck around, you came to me and laid it all out on the table. You told me when I was being unreasonable or that I was hurting you with my actions. You helped me when you didn’t… really have to.
And you continue to help me, I’m a better person now and I know that. I don’t think I would’ve gotten as better as I am without you.
You support me, you help me when I’m lost or confused, you talk to me… you share Garfield things with me or if I’m upset you send a picture of your dogs or just.. you do so much for me.
I am forever thankful for everything. I’m not good at expressing emotions, I never have been. So perhaps it’s all just nonsense what I’m saying or maybe I’m repeating myself, I don’t know.
But thank you.
For everything.
I love you guys and I wish I could be better at explaining it… that way I’m not dropping a mile long scientific paragraph on you every few months
And a thank you for my Followers as well.
Which sounds like, cocky or something to say. I don’t know, feels weird standing here going “AND TO MY FOLLOWERS” but it’s hm.
ANYWAYS.
Thank you lot for sticking around!
Within the past year and a half I’ve… been different! I cut off all social stuff for the longest time and then went radio silent a lot posting wise. Almost all my blogs kinda went nonexistent. I deleted a lot.
And then I randomly went “hey guys look at this story I’m working on called Jarble. I will tell you absolutely nothing about it.”
But y’all still? Stuck around.
Which I know I’m just like, another guy on the dash posting stuff. So perhaps it isn’t that deep as I’m making it sound? I don’t know.
BUT REGARDLESS. You guys stuck around!
You guys watched as I went insane over a AU that I never said anything about. Which might’ve been annoying when you guys asked and I just never answered because I got self conscious lmaO. Yet you guys still showed interest and shared support!
When I decided to update my blogs again, welcomed me back and showed support when I expressed interest in doing stuff again.
Even welcomed me back when I decided to attempt to be social again and join discord servers! Which was… hard for me and a 1000% awkward! Cuz I went insane and then shuffled back like a fool. Yet! Here I am!
You guys keep supporting me, sending me asks and supporting me and my work despite it all
And I thank you for that! I appreciate it and it makes me feel special when you guys appear to show genuine interest in my dumb characters and stories…
I know I’m just another idiot on the feed, but it means a lot to me that you stick around and glance in my direction.
So all in all
Thank you guys.
To everyone.
End of cooties
Edit: also thanks to my fiancé I guess. Whatever. You’re sitting right across from me and I might throw a cracker at you. But you alright I guess. 🙄🙄 don’t choke on the Turkey BabyGirl
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Was rereading the Study Goblin AU stuff; mainly the origins stuff and thought about what if Riz survived that final mission and could return to his friends? I would think they would be worried the moment their memories get restored and realize they haven't seen Riz in three months - only to get upset once Riz shows back up (probably still battered from the battle)
Riz records his goodbye message and sends his crystal back to Solace. His friends will receive it once it has a signal and will probably be VERY confused until Penny restores their memories... then probably pissed off but he couldn't stand the thought of disappearing with no one knowing what happened.
The only option left is a suicide play. Literally throwing himself between the cogs of the arcane machine set to devour his home dimension in order to reach the core and destroy it.
Hes all ready to go, having sneaked around behind the wizard they were fighting and sending off a quick prayer to Cassandra (look he wasn't a cleric but he felt it was appropriate, he was for sure about to die after all), but the machine ground to a halt on its own. A bit of divine intervention perhaps? Or maybe I'm his haste to get the machine operational and gain 'infinite power' their foe had not quite put it together properly. Either way it was a VERY good thing.
Riz fired his arcubus to break some critical looking components anyway just in case, he didnt want them starting it back up again too easily after all since it was basically impossible to stop it from the outside, before turning his sights on their enemy themselves. A few more seconds all they needed for both himself and his party's fighter to put the bastard down for good.
It was a mad scramble to get their cleric back up so they could revive the rest of their fallen party members. Every one of them looking worse for ware as they set some timed charges to destroy this pocket dimension before plane shifting back to Solace.
They ended up back in the temple ruins they first left Solace from, meaning they had a few days of hard travel before they were back in civilisation.
He knew there was going to be pretty bad fallout when they actually ended up surviving. Penny would have restored everyone's memories as quickly as possible after she got his message so he wasn't surprised to find his party in his office when got back. Every single one of them with puffy red eyes that widened in surprise when he pushed open the door.
He knew he looked like shit. It had been a hard three months. His clothes were ripped and burned in places, he had a notch in one ear from an earring getting ripped out in a fight and he was exhausted.
Penny was the first one to get to him, squishing him in a hug while asking what the fuck happened to make him even THINK of sending a message like that. He doesn't get far through his explanation before he's getting mobbed by his friends, all of them equally relieved hes okay and PISSED at him for wiping their memories.
Hes sorry. REALLY sorry. He just had to work through some stuff after his mom died and the society of shadows needed his expertise for what turned out to be some universe ending bullshit.
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oh i know when ellabs fight with eachother reader is stressed tfff out. its rare, but when it happens its not pretty. they have been getting on each others last fucking nerve for the past week and on the fifth day of ellie mocking abby like a child and abby making unnecessary rude comments when ellie’s in the room, the blow up finally comes.
you enter your shared living room where abby is meal prepping her post workout meals in the kitchen and ellie is sketching in her notebook on the couch, you prance over in your mini skirt and a short cardigan layered over your tiny crop top and let your girlfriends know your headed off to lunch with dina, who is introducing you to a friend of hers. she is certain the two of you will get along well and was hoping your over bearing girlfriends would be chill with it because it’s dina’s close friend.
the problem was though, you had only asked abby if you could go to this little brunch and she hesitantly agreed. she trusted dina and would have a friend of abby’s keeping a close eye on you while you were out little did you know. and with ellie and abby being petty with each other all week, abby hadent exactly gotten around to telling ellie this. so when you walk into the living room dressed as skimpy as the weather would allow and saying your goodbyes, ellie was a little more than confused.
“and where the hell do you think your going?”
you tilted your head in confusion “…out with dina and her friend? did i forget to tell you?” you were starting to worry abby had changed her mind about letting you go.
“and who told you y-“ “she asked me, is there a fucking problem williamson?” abby abruptly put down the tupperwear she had in her hands, turning to ellie and cutting her off
“your my problem anderson-“ “get a god damn grip-“ “oh please dont play the tough act with me-“ “i’m gonna fucking-“
the yelling echos through the opened floored room making you slightly flinch. being the sweetheart you are, you assumed it was your fault they were arguing and guilt filled you instantly; regretting even making plans at all. tears fell down your cheeks faster than you could register them. not wanting to cause more trouble you run into your shared bedroom away from the arguing girls. this shuts they both up as they turn with furrowed brows watching you hurry away from them with red eyes and puffy cheeks.
without another word they follow you into the room and knocking on the locked door, argument lost in their concern for you.
abby speaks first when you don’t immediately open the door “angel? it’s okay we’re done it’s done, need you open the door for us” then ellie piped up “your okay baby, wanna talk to you”
and you do. unlocking the door and sitting back on the bed you sniffle and the apologies instantly spill from your mouth.
“m’ sorry ill stay home. im sorry im so sorry. didn’t mean to make you upset els. i didn’t know. i’m sorr-“
“baby baby relax. come back yeah? you not in trouble sweet girl, what’s going on?” ellie comforts as she takes a seat next to you on the bed, guiding your head down into her neck where you sniffle and wrap your arms around her. abby follows, sitting on the other side of you and rubbing her big hands on your bare back under your top. “made you argue, i didn’t mean to js’ wanted to go see dina..”
“oh angel, you did nothing wrong, breathe baby. we’re not mad at you. just having a bad week is all. nothing to do with you perfect girl. we didn’t mean to scare you we’re so sorry.” abby speaks gently to you. she takes ellie’s hand behind your back, kissing it in silent apology, which ellie sends her a soft smile in return.
“but i-“ “shh no no no stop putting things in that head of yours. we’re not upsest anymore everything is okay. our crybaby huh? we know honey, just so sensitive yeah?“ abby continues to soothe your sniffling
“poor girl, looks like we have to show you how much we love you more, hm? i’ve got a few ideas. abs?”
“mmm i think i know just the way”
this is bootycheeks but whatever bc what better to do on my work lunch break then flood your inbox with my silly thoughts and this probably has 700 typos so just close your eyes
overstimulated and crybaby reader you are so me and lana you get it so well like….
ellie and abby’s hearts simply breaking at the sound of their girl weeping and sniffling, guilt running through them as they should know better than to even argue in front of you. when they see you teary-eyed with a pout on your face after they tell you to look at them, they know so many ways they’re gonna make it up to you.
they felt silly to even be fighting with each other to begin with because look at the consequences ): they got you crying and freaking out from them yelling at one another, and they always tried their absolute best not to. ):
ugghhh and the fact they’ll give you anything you in order for them to make it up to you… they’re such saps for their girl.
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just remembered something i used to get laughed at/ridiculed for a lot by “friends” when i was a kid was being too serious/taking everything seriously and sincerely
and it was upsetting but i didn’t understand why what i was doing/how i was behaving was “weird” like the autism was autisming…
#even as a teenager people would be like omg can’t you take a joke it’s not serious#why so serious about everything#and i would just be so fucking confused and upset#love unlocking fun new memories#autism shit#i have actually never been chill about anything in my life
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seeing people's takes about the whole watcher situation is just a bit.... mind-boggling.
i think the apology they posted was good in the sense that they admitted to fucking up and walked back on their decision, and i think the model they've settled on now is a lot more reasonable (having content be released earlier for those who choose to subscribe), but like.... that doesn't mean that no one should've ever been mad at them in the first place???
like seriously, why does it seem like people are looking at a "good" apology and thinking "huh! they sure did apologize well! i guess that means that it was ridiculous for people to be mad in the first place! no one should have ever complained!!". if no one complained, they wouldnt have walked back their decision! they would've kept going with their dumb completely paywalled option!
and thats not even getting into the fact that their financial woes seem to come from completely mismanaging their money - hiring people when they can not afford to and spending more money on "high quality productions" when they cant afford to.... these are core issues that im not sure will be completely fixed by this? but idk.
also, this situation i think has really helped my own self come to terms with the fact that i do not enjoy many aspects of their content. i sorta already knew that considering i can not remember the last ghost files video i watched because i find that shit incredibly boring and overproduced, and even things like too many spirits have become a chore to watch bc they decided to extend the Not That Funny drink making portion when i just wanna hear some funny spooky stories.
anyway i guess my ultimate point here is: im glad they acknowledged they fucked up, but i also am not sure how interested i am in their content anymore in the first place. oh well
#watcher#i still personally dont know if i would call them 'greedy' for their original choice#for the record: i dont think the three of them are struggling at all lmao#they clearly are living pretty well off#but i do think that watcher as a company really has been struggling bc of their awful business decisions#so i DO think they needed to change SOMETHING#its just.... yknow maybe next time just fucking ask ur audience about the routes ur considering taking#rather than just surprising everyone with a 'whoops! its all paywalled now!!'#im really not sure how to articulate my feelings bc i just constantly feel confused at the way i see others act online#like seeing people yell at others for being 'too parasocial' in the sense of people feeling betrayed and upset by their choices#when those same people are being incredibly parasocial themselves by defending these three like their lives depend on it#these are not starving artists. they are the owners of a business. a ceo. i think its fair for ppl to critique them in that sense#and to point out things like hiring more staff than they can afford#and spending more money on production than is arguably necessary#even if it is part of their 'artistic vision'
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FUCK
aelwyn abernant i??? don't hate you???
#I used to see stuff of aelwyn before watching The Scene#(which I just finished in ep 9 of sophomore year)#and be so confused bc I was like “this bitch???”#& is she a bitch maybe but the “expectation without love” thing got my little wheels turning & now I just cant stop thinking about it#about how maybe her parents never loved her either#about how maybe because she was told she could do no wrong that then she COULD do no wrong#about how#almost... scared she sounds to talk ill of their parents despite knowing what they have been implicated in doing to her#(or at least presumably so#I havent finished the ep yet)#so for her to be AFRAID of upsetting the very people who PUT her in here#who have twisted her mind so badly she cannot remember anything#for close to a year...#GOD i want to fucking strangle angwyn abernant#to put a child so high atop a pedestal that the fall would kill her#and another so far into the background she hardly exists#FUCK#their parents deserve worse than death#adaine abernant#adaine fantasy high#adaine fanart#aelwyn abernant#aelwyn fantasy high#adaine and aelwyn#fantasy high sophomore year#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fhsy#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high
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Just finished UTRH (the comic) for the first time... Might gonna pretend it isn’t canon.
#Also like#the fuck was that ending#I'm so confused and upset rn#my personal interpretation is that the last panel shows that Jason's death is like “a canon event” that is meant to happen in every univers#But Bruce throwing that batarang...#just why#maybe it wouldn't have killed him#Cause I don't believe Bruce seriously would rather kill Jason than Joker#But still it doesn't make sense#Bruce doesn’t kill and I'm ok with that#But he wants Joker dead#Jason has killed hundreds of people#Let him kill the Joker#it's literally the best outcome for both#anyway I'm gonna go watch the movie#amazing comic but sir Judd Winick what the hell. just. whatthehell#dc comics#batman#red hood#utrh
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Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want I’m just gonna vent a minute#it’s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestly… I’m not#I’m fucking struggling#it’s just so complex n confusing & I’m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably don’t think it’s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know it’s probably not easy to tell I’m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly it’s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just don’t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ‘hope you’re okay’ or ‘thinking of you’ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isn’t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc it’s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope you’re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ❤️❤️❤️#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.
#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance#i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines#and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK#i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it#in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day#and it's still not done. GUHH#I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING#THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head#going to work on it some more. fuckk#the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal#themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it#sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l#go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow#so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff#i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh#why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)
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I recently found out people ship Cassandra with Apollo.
My initial reaction was...
Just tan their hides. You know what happened to her because the the bastard, don't you?..
Then, I was overwhelmed by morbid curiosity, and checked AO3. People are writing rape fics about them. ...Why?..
Could I ever see Cassandra x Apollo?.. I don't know, maybe. But, definitely not the nonsense I mentioned. Dubcon at most. I guess, he might somehow coerce her into sleeping with him, and later rescue her from the fall of Troy, because she's pregnant with his child, or something (Zeus would be pissed, I'm fine with that).
Sounds like an intriguing story, with a lot of morally questionable elements. I can imagine Apollo confiding in Artemis, wondering why his wife is so upset. She'd just go "are you serious rn?.. -_-".
...What, you're surprised I'm among those I wish to hide with a broom? Don't be. It happens quite often, actually.
#greek mythology#greek myth fandom#apollo#cassandra#apollo x cassandra#diary pages#thoughts#greek gods#this is such a fucked up pairing#in the iliad you like apollo then remember what he did cassandra#i don't blame her for rejecting his advances he's an entitled fboy with nine girlfriends and she wanted to remain chaste#the way he responded is very cruel honestly cassandra's story breaks my heart#of course i'm discussinv them as characters not religious figures#apollo can be such a creep#greek myth fanfic#fanfiction ideas#what the hell i have a hundred epics in my wips already including one with apollo#but i SHOULD put this aside the “Apollo coerces Cassandra then saves her because she's pregnant”#it's dark but also very intriguing to explore... it isn't supposed to be hot really well maybe later#dionysus married ariadne why can't apollo marry cassandra#she wouldn't want to marry him but what other choice would she have#their further relationship just seems so fascinating#yeah apollo would be confused why she's upset - he'd get her being upset about the fall of troy but not why she's upset with him#but as gods do he'd imagine she should be happy about getting rescued by him#why am i doing this to myself (and cassandra)#i suppose... i just want a better ending for cassandra (back to the fic idea) which this would be even though she'd have to deal with apollo#side note imagine the “pairing” in disney's hercules it would be hilarious#cassandra confronting hercules about his creepy older cousin trying to hit on her#or icarus trying to ask apollo if she'll go out with him and apollo replying “if you have my luck she'll just throw a shoe at your face”#she should take out a restraining order also
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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#delete later#in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown#i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it#im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly#to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or#spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be#ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right#and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen#too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the#person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this#at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my#meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things#i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry#and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay#i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired
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one more thing i forgot to whine about today: few days ago, i was making dinner to eat while watching golden girls, and i thought - hm, since i still have a bit of savings left, i should actually get myself a christmas gift of an actual properly fitted bra. the idea got me very excited - my size is only really carried at these expensive lingerie shops, but you know, i figured it would be good for me.
but as i finished cooking, went upstairs, i found my laptop turned off - just while i was getting excited about lingerie, my laptop battery has suddenly and irreversably died! had to replace it, and it ended up costing around as much as a bra... can you believe my luck :(
#i was literally gone for half an hour and it FUCKING DIED RIGHT THEN........ just as i barely entertained of getting something that would be#good for me! how upsetting#although i was lucky because i found my laptop battery at an outlet part of this one online store. which made it a bit cheaper. but still#also i just realized that my whole life i have been confusing brassiere and brasserie...... why are they so similar!!!!#pogaduchy
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