#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK

[skrunksthatwunk]

why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.

[technogeekmituna]

ROTT SPOILERS

Man, that ending really just ruined my emotional state, and I've been in this weird mood of "That didn't happen, right?" to "DreamWorks really can't handle series ending movies, huh" to "Jim wouldn't give up the amulet like that without a plan" to "I'm bitterly happy it concluded, but I'm so frustrated that I have a headache because that ending leads to a complete loss of everything they learned and accomplished"

I dont understand the writing. I saw Guillermo credited as a writer, and I'm wondering if the directors are to blame then. Cause while the plot was pretty cohesive, it felt like some stuff was rushed or kinda like brushed over so everything could keep pace together. Like, after the first act of the movie everything started to feel a little disjointed, and then, like, I feel, like, the time traveling element is a bit... nonsensical. We already established what would happen if Jim decided not to take the amulet. Draag took his place and the Eternal Night happened and the world essentially ended, because Jim needed to become the Trollhunter.

Like, I can't understand the logic why Jim would let go of everything he said was meant for him and lead to him, it was all purposeful because he was meant to be the Trollhunter. He died for that realization, literally and figuratively (in the mental state to become more.)

You can't-- The writers can't just expect that ending to make any sense when Jim is the only person to remember anything but he reset everything to EPISODE ONE.

And also, why and how did everyone just assume Jim meant he would go back to prevent everything by going back to the beginning instead of, like, a couple days prior or a year prior or something

What does him going back to the beginning, giving Toby the responsibilities of the amulet-- Actually, hold on, what does Toby have now that he didn't at the beginning of the series now that time got retconned after a hard fought good ending that got restarted? Everything got a fresh start soo.... whatever Toby acquired or learned or accomplished in his character arc the first time around doesn't exist. Not to mention what does the amulet see in Toby now?!

The amulet wouldn't choose Toby just because Jim told him to take the canal. Jim doesn't have that authority. The amulet would have found a way back to Jim or something. Nothing against Toby, but, like, I don't think he would have the fortitude or capabilities to endure what was required of Jim to become the Trollhunter.

Nothing would play out the same. Everything is different standing at the divergence of Toby hearing the amulet. It's automatically a doomed timeline, lmao. I'm sorry, but??

I hate what happened with Nomura. That was really uncool how they took her out. Like, I get how they wrote her death and I guess that reads fine, but it was not executed well. It was too quick, too sudden, unworthy. Just poor.

I don't think Strickler needed to sacrifice himself because it was for nothing anyway. I mean to be fucking fair, what did they think highly explosive human made bombs were going to do against an ancient wizard wielding a giant titan of ice?? It was to be expected that it wouldn't work. Yes, yes, they were doing all that they could, but after all they'd encountered with magic and shit you would think they'd be a little smarter about their choices. It was just unnecessary. And while I did cry, especially because I felt bad for Jim and his mom, I have to ask what the fuck was that with his dad? Why did Barbara bring that up for it to go nowhere? No insight, no plot push forward, no revelations, just the same we've been told before and a "We don't give up no matter what" line.

I loved the fight with the two titans. It was good and well executed and hard-hitting. Nira died and her death was for a reason, a purpose.

Toby's death was impactful and sad, and he did stay by Jim to the end. It was for a purpose and it written well to work.

But Trollhunters have never had a good relationship with handling character deaths, imo. They're too fast to move on or the pacing sucks or it's like out of nowhere and done and now we stew with that death. Like, they hit emotionally, but more so because we loved those characters, not really because they died

I absolutely hate retconning deaths. It's a psych out. It ruins the mood. It makes it pointless. It pads out time. It's exhausting unless handled right and with a purpose.

The ROTT ending was baaaad. To be clear, Jim starting completely over was questionable and confusing and skeptical, but what made it baaaad was him giving Toby the amulet. I need context. I need an explanation. Why? What's the difference now? What will change? Will anything change? What's the new outcome??

Like, if they had used the last couple of minutes to breeze by everything again to catch us back up to the retconned ending to show what would happen with Toby being the new Trollhunter, then I might not be as sour and salty and bitter and other nasty flavors of mood.

But you can't tell me everything will play exactly as it did before. Absolutely not. Character arcs lost. Character development undone. Character relationships will be different. Big, impactful choices will differ or not exist at all or have vastly different outcomes. Nothing will be the same, and nothing will be better for this.

I just. Don't. Understand. I know some things were cut, but I don't see how those things would make the writing for the ending better unless things cut were explicitly on the ending and we're missing severe context for Jim's decision.

Sigh. Whatever. I'm gonna fucking pout and try to be 76% content with what we got.

[nightcoremoon]

so for the first time I saw batman: the killing joke.

...

it was okay I guess. but massively overrated. I expected some fucking masterpiece of cinema but instead it was just two unrelated short films that were more style and flash than substance.

so first off, barbara's storyline was mediocre. franz wasn't a compelling villain; just a creep, and a trust fund brat. oh wow he's a mafia kid who stole his family's fortune by hacking. if it was the falcone family I'd have cared more but it wasn't so it's just some faceless deathfodder rando. who gives a shit. the whole situation was just a vehicle to shove batman's dick into babs. which kinda fucks over bruce's character here and judging by the timeline kinda makes him a bit of a groomer, yikes. bruce and gordon have known each other since bruce was a young boy and we know that bruce is way older than babs so yeah bruce totally knew her from birth until present day, he literally utilized an active power dynamic to police her crimefighting activities, and he should have fucking known better and stopped her when she kissed him because it would (and did) compromise their professional dynamic, but hey, batdick. and at least barbara recognized that she was behaving emotionally rather than logically when it came to bruce and paris and took the high road out. that would be a serviceable standalone episode to write her on a bus in a serialization but THIS IS A MOVIE. so for a waste of an already short runtime it's like having an appetizer before your meal but instead of something like a crab cake before stuffed flounder, you get greasy onion petals that are more fried batter than onion before getting a well done cheeseburger that's just a glorified hockey puck on a sponge with a kraft single on top. the animation and vocal delivery were excellent of course, not gonna disparage that aspect, so it was well made, but the writing was just not very good. a polished turd. quantic dream must have developed it then because it feels like I watched a david cage production.

so in a 78 minute movie, five of which were the credits, we had a half hour Disney/Pixar short except those bring joy and this brought boring. also there were a lot of shots of her ass tits and underwear that were obnoxiously male-gazey and there was a token gay for the sole purpose of dangling a carrot on a stick for the queers. look kids, warner brothers and dc comics cares about the lgbts! give us money! a waste of time before the real reason why anyone came to see the movie that literally only exists to pad out the runtime to make it a feature length (even though paying a full ticket would've been a total ripoff because, again, IT WAS ONLY 78. even 9 was 81 minutes long and that had an amazing storyline so I forgave it, but 78 minutes? ugh.

also, GOTHAM RAGE??? CRINGE. SO CRINGE.

alright now for the joker segment.

*ahem*

what the fuck? that sucked! *throws tomato*

mark hamill and the joker's lines and the art and the cinematography and the choreography was all good and the plot was cohesive. I get it.

but holy shit was the writing weak as fuck.

okay so some rando breaks the J-ster out of Arkham (already unlikely but ugh whatever), he didn't turn a trick or recruit or anything, he just went to purchase a carnival. or, steal one. but wait, he DID recruit, but he went to get all of the stereotypical Circus Freak™ stereotypes. little people, fat lady, bearded lady, wolf man, strongman, diaper man (wait, what?), and the two headed woman. I guess if you don't really think about why all of them were super readily available in the outskirts between arkham and gotham [i just realized they both end with -am] then it makes enough sense. and then literally right after that HE RECRUITS SOME GUYS TO HELP HIM KIDNAP GORDON. and then strips and photographs barbara. um. ew. you can tell the writer and director were men. Alan Moore is constantly molesting women in his comics and this one trick pony should be put down already. but whatever. the plot is weak and it only gets saved by the flashback sequences.

oh.

oh no.

they're not that great.

he's a failed unfunny comedian who just wants some money to move his wife to a better house so he turns to thievery with the mob. OR YOU COULD JUST STOP GOING TO THE BAR AND BLOWING IT ALL ON BOOZE. I mean the cops knew where to find him after all so clearly he's a repeat customer (or moore is a bad plot writer who relies on convenience and shut the fuck up and don't critically analyze it). alright so he gets wrapped up in the mob to perform a heist on a playing card factory. GET IT, BECAUSE HE'S THE JOKER??? and he uses the moniker of the red hood to retain his anonymity. I expected the mobsters to be working for francisco but no the paris storyline was only cooked up screenplay for passing the runtime so why would they do something clever and interesting and make the film cohesive? that'd be really stupid to make the movie feel more like one movie and not two short films. at least when grindhouse & planet terror did it they advertised themselves as an anthology film. whatever. he falls in the vat of acid which melts the red hood to his face and I gotta say that's actually a pretty good idea to get his face white and his hair green and his lips red. I like that part. oh wait I forgot about the most important part! his wife gets shoved in the refrigerator. OH WOW THAT'S JUST SO COMPELLING AND ORIGINAL, TOTALLY NOT SOMETHING THAT ALREADY HAPPENED TO GREEN LANTERN. TWICE. although she wasn't literally shoved into a literal refrigerator like alex was. rip in frozen pieces you absolute legend of a trope namer. alright, so... so the joker is sad because his wife died. you know, the wife we saw for two minutes and knew the moment we saw her drenched in sepia she was gonna die. and she died offscreen. kyle's gf died and he was fine. gordon's wife died and he was fine. batman's parents both died and he was fine. oh boo hoo someone I love died! fuck off. I am so goddamn sick of people trying to justify their evil with "I was sad once". it's a stupid trope and it's not compelling. the only valid version is doctor doofenshmirtz' evil(er) version in the PF movie because it's hilarious that it's because of a toy train because that's the emotional depth that fridgewomen is treated with in all of these storylines. but at least batman said so. oh yeah, I almost totally forgot, batman's in this movie.

batman punches people and nonlethally takes them out. by suffocating them and letting them get stabbed and throwing them into pits of spikes and HEY WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND! okay let's just ignore that bit and hope that the little people squeezed between the gaps in the spikes and the strongman could breathe in the face mask and the two headed women had KO gas and the fat lady was fat enough that the knives only stabbed her cellulite. it wouldn't be the biggest reach one would have to make in watching this fucking disaster of a plot mess.

now I did like that it was actually batman, and by that I mean he gave a shit about the insane because he recognizes that mental illness is not a cause of dangerous or criminal behavior, just a potential exacerbating factor if it wasn't treated. yeah he brutalized mobsters and crime lords but they were mostly in self defense while gathering intel. he politely asked sal maroni and the sex workers for information and they gave it to him without violence- he manhandled maroni but only after he reached into his pocket for a cigar which could've been a gun. also batman says sex work should be decriminalized if only by not ratting them out to the cops. he was a genuinely good person in the second half of the movie. too bad it was ruined by the shitty first half that made him a borderline groomer.

joker's song was... bad. mark hamill performed his ass off but the song wasn't that good. it just tried to be willy wonka if he was a voyeuristic monster. oh yeah have the only girl character be paralyzed stripped and photographed only to give her father ManPain™. again... the fuck? joker and batman were both gross but, again. male writers. if it was a one-off I could drop a thermian argument because, alright one and done makes sense, especially 1988 standards. but it saturated and soured the entire goddamn movie because of abhorrent pacing decisions. so you're goddamn right I'm gonna bring it up twice! joker was a creep, his plan was dumb, nolan and burton and lord/miller and even ayer had better motivations. YES I AM SAYING THAT JARED LETO'S JOKER HAD BETTER WRITING THAN MARK HAMILL'S JOKER. not nearly to the level of ledger nicholson or galifanakis but hamill didn't have a lot to work with here and I maintain that his performance was amazing; honestly I like his the best out of all of them but just... not here. but I think I can cut some slack to firelord ozai and luke skywalker even if he just phoned it in here which he didn't. writing was just weak. and that's all there is to it. don't anon me and threaten to remove my bones ok?

alright so batman and joker fought and joker got the upper hand and was gonna kill him but it was a prop gun. haha. they had a heart to heart and batman tells joker that he wants to help him get better, even after joker killed robin and molested barbara and traumatized gordon and did countless other travesties, he still said he would help. but joker said no, and told a joke that was good enough to make batman laugh. and then the credits rolled.

...

what a completely pointless and empty ending. oh it's deep and meaningful and poignant? ok sure, I guess, movie, but you didn't earn that. shyamalan did the same thing a dozen times. that doesn't make him any less of a shit writer.

I can understand the concept of batman laughing at joker's joke, humanizing him.

I get it. I see what they tried to do. I respect it.

but this movie was massively overhyped and overrated and I expected it to be so much better than it was. but overall to me it was just another batman cartoon to throw on top of the pile. maybe it was influential to graphic novels. maybe it shaped batman into what he is today. it published right as tim burton's movie and I can respect its place in the pantheon of comic history. but sometimes things that are classic...

aren't that great.

citizen kane, casablanca, the maltese falcon, the treasure of the sierra madre, gone with the wind, singing in the rain, all of them are classic and legendary pieces of art. but they're just not that good, interesting, appealing, watchable, or FUN. they were good at the time- I mean come on we all know them today- but on going back you'd have to really appreciate the finer details to still love the movies today. and this belongs there, in the vault, to be appreciated from afar. influential if dated.

but god am I still disappointed nonetheless.

TL;DR

it was just okay. had some good ideas, had some really bad ideas, had some ugly stuff. overall mediocre. first half 5/10, second half 7/10, overall 6/10.

[initiumseries]

CAOS Part 3 - review

Uh, okay, so I think by now, we all know this show is terrible. Netflix gives showrunners a lot of creative freedom, and I think, for better writers, you could get some really interesting content, but they just seem to keep giving these assholes who wrote the travesty called Riverdale, so many opportunities to make more shitty television, and I feel like they really deserve to be limited in their ability to create/write if not stopped completely and thrown into a well with Julie Plec.  Anyway, I’ll try to break this down as best as I can into different piles of shit and this will contain spoilers:

Characters

Prudence and Ambrose

So, to be really honest, I watch this show exclusively for Prudence and Ambrose. Because, well, look at them: 

I wish they had more chemistry because they are super hot together, and I still ship it. A young Black couple? On TV? In this sea of shitty interracial relationships? I’ll take it. Anyway, of course, the progression of their relationship is ridiculous and frustrating. Ambrose decides at the last minute, not to kill Father Blackwood because he has a weird time egg thing that they don’t really understand, also he has the twins under some weird mind control for no clear reason, so they stay their hands. It doesn’t make sense, but it becomes clear, Father Blackwood has an insane amount of plot armour and ultimately would have to serve as a vessel for Satan. Father Blackwood uses the manipulated mind of the other weird sister to sic her on the coven, and she ends up killing Dorkus, whom Prudence finds. She then blames Ambrose for not allowing her to kill FB, and they break up. Now...this would kinda make sense, if not for the fact that they trapped one of the pagan witches and forced her to change everyone back, but no one bothered to do anything about the mentally ill witch who you all strapped up for a reason? Lol ok. Seems like an oversight on your part Prudence, but...okay. Clearly manufactured breakups are exhausting, especially since [young] Black couples with no serious relationship dysfunction are now an endangered species. It��s also frustrating because we barely got to see them....*be* together, especially after they returned home. 

Nick & Sabrina

So, I know from the beginning, we were supposed to believe that Nick and Sabrina had that kind of, Bad Guy, seduces the girl Good Girl, luring her into the dark side, hot, intense, passionate relationship. But their lack of chemistry and really shitty acting just made them really dry (which I get into here). I don’t believe them, and I definitely don’t believe that Sabrina would, once again, break a shit ton of rules to get Nick back. I just don’t buy that they had that kind of an intense, desperately in love, kind relationship, because they do not look all that comfortable around each other, much less in love. 

I personally find Sabrina utterly unlikeable as a main character, largely because who IS she? She has no personality, she just does whatever the plot needs her to do in the moment, and the actress makes Sabrina appear smug and unremorseful while she fucks up everyone’s lives. There is a lot of exposition of everyone telling us she’s this power hungry, manipulative character, but we never see that. She just does stuff and everyone is all “Sabrina how could you?!” and there are never, ever any consequences. I would have liked to see her push so hard to get Nick back and the struggle being, sure she wants him back, but mostly she’s doing it because she can. But that’s not what happens. 

So Nick ends up in this weird drug addiction, alcohol, sex demon spiral because he has parts of Satan still in him and it all just falls so flat and lame, because this show is SO bad at pacing, and these actors suck, so nothing is believable. The idea of him scrubbing his club foot, having nightmares, suffering PTSD, is fine, the execution was trash. Nick sees Caliban and Sabrina have one interaction and he’s like WELL, GUESS I GOTTA CHEAT. And just ends up in some S&M situation with sex demons and heavily self medicating, but none of this has any weight, and we don’t really see him...spiralling. He just immediately resorts to these things and it has no real impact on anyone or even him really, and that’s it. 

Harvey and Roz

Uh, they’re probably the most confusing match here, because there is no lead up to their relationship, there’s not suggestion, there’s no pacing. Just BOOM, we’re into each other now. BOOM, Roz is the only sexually active person in her friend group (lol of course the Black girl is sexually active. Gotta maintain white innocence at all costs), so she’s just ready to jump Harvey’s bones any second now. So of course, the show punishes her by having the pagans turn her to stone. And as if that’s not bad enough...

Which I talk about here and here, because honestly I’m just sick of this show’s antiblackness.  Theo & that other guy

So I was watching this unfold like, yeeaahh, they’re gonna make the trans guy get with the enemy aren’t they? And yes, they did. Cool, they didn’t kill him off, but I’m still perplexed at how Theo isn’t even a little upset that this guy was basically sent to infiltrate his friend group and sat by while his people harmed Theo’s friends, and also...used him? Like...we just...are gonna...gloss over that because he changed his mind? Lol ok. Sure.

Mambo Marie and suddenly Zelda?

I...I mean her name is Mambo Marie. I love the idea of Black witches finding Black spirituality and magicks through Vodun and a Hatian Priestess. But they quickly undo that, by ensuring that Mambo Marie only teaches Prudence in the presence of these white witches. And we see her...doing...an African drum circle (eye roll), only to be interrupted by the High Priestess of White Feminism, Zelda Spellman. It quickly devolves into thinly veiled racism where Zelda doesn’t trust Marie because she’s Catholic (says the woman who worships Satan, has an anti Pope and prays to Lilith with the same prayer for Mary mother of Jesus? LOL. Not even unpacking the fact that Vodun is an African spirituality having 0 roots in catholicism WHITE WRITERS). Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Marie and Zelda are a thing for no reason? After the way Zelda treated her? Why did Marie even stay? This isn’t her problem. This is a white witch problem. Okay. That’s too much to unpack. 

Plot

So, my biggest problem with almost all Netflix English programming is that they are so obsessed with aesthetics, and don’t pay enough attention to actual character chemistry, plot, story flow, details, pacing etc. Like...things that actually make stories interesting to watch. So they slap all these people together and throw them into aesthetically pleasing backgrounds, shake it up with so much exposition that nothing actually happens, and are like BEHOLD A STORY. And CAOS is *especially* guilty for this.

First of all those musical breaks were annoying as fuck. Musicals serve 2 story functions: advancing the plot or telling a story. These musical numbers did neither and were honestly ridiculously gratuitous, highly annoying and totally pointless.

What time of year is this? Why are we having pep rallies and how the fuck and when did Sabrina and Roz join the cheeleading squad, and why?

for the aesthetics and not for any real plot reason. It just seems stupid because now I don’t know how much time has passed between Nick going to hell and this, because you’re all handling it like it’s been a few weeks and is still relatively fresh, but suddenly, Theo, Harvey and Roz are in a garage band? You’re a cheerleader? For what? Since when? Why? These choices introduce more questions than they answer and serve no narrative purpose. So much wasted time on shit that doesn’t matter. 

Sabrina is supposed to be fighting Caliban (who is literally the only person she has chemistry with on this show and they killed him bc ofc they did), for her seat on the throne, and yet the trials only seem to come up when it’s convenient, and also seem to be directly related to her dealings with her coven, which is also convenient.  I’m so confused about Satan. His powers come from being a celestial being, and so, because his coven mistreats him he’s like...lol okay, well fuck you guys and goes through all these convoluted small motions to greatly inconvenience them and withdraws his powers? This is so petty and pathetic. Also, what’s the point? He could just wipe them out and start over, instead of skulking around inside FB then suddenly decides to track down Lilith. Again, convoluted. This plot is all over the place. Why does Satan need Sabrina to be Queen of Hell in the first place? He seems perfectly healthy. Why can’t he just rule it? Like...that makes no sense. What is he gonna do? Retire? WHAT is going ON?

How did Sabrina come back in time to herself stuck in stone? Is that trip to Pontius Pilate (lol) supposed to have created a loophole for her to save herself and everyone? This is giving me hardcore Twilight Breaking Dawn vibes, where, the show finally, FINALLY gets interesting, there’s real stakes, shit is actually happening instead of everyone talking about things happening (Hilda ending up killing her fiance was literally the only time I felt something watching this show because it was genuinely sad, and well acted, and Hilda coming through with that doll at the end was pretty disturbing, I’ll give them that), and ofc, Sabrina goes back in time and undoes it all. Lol. Okay. God forbid there be real consequences to anything on this show.

Final thoughts

Once again, the white feminism runs high on this show. They treat this Black Vodun Priestess Marie, like garbage, allude to her “foreign” magic, but Marie is sitting here like “we’re not men, we’re women, let’s work together.” This is why I hate white writers writing for Black characters. Black characters should have Black motivations, and a Black Vodun Priestess, should know that white women and Black women do not have aligned motivations just because they share a gender. Once they started with the bullshit right from her arrival, she should have handed Prudence her card and peaced tf out. Instead she tolerates the isolation, ostracization and thinly veiled racism...and decides to stay, and help. WHY? Marie has gained nothing by sticking around helping these ungrateful ass witches. I honestly would have preferred Prudence asking her to stay to learn more about Vodun, and them building a mentor/mentee type of relationship, especially since Prudence was the one who invited her and stepped to Zelda to defend her. I want(ed) to see that relationship go somewhere. The deliberate denial of healthy Black female friendships on tv is frustrating.

 These witches finally finding their power in their ancestors and I donno, some female creator or whatever, reminds me of white women “finding” wicca and praying to “Gaia”, (reminds me of BTVS s4 when Willow joins the wicca group) which is basically what happened but lol okay whatever. I guess they aren’t satanic witches anymore. Lol, I love how Harvey and Roz and Theo are teenagers, human teenagers, who have lead largely normal teenage lives up until this point, but see their loved ones tortured, deformed or murdered in hell, with basically no residual issues, and are all like, YES, let’s roll up on these adults with shotguns and swords and kill the FUCK outta these people!! That absolutely sounds normal! Like...what? Lol. God this is just so bad.

Also, I’m so confused by this aesthetic choice for Sabrina as Queen of Hell. Like what the fuck. Why is she dressed like a Victorian era queen, with shoulder and a broken rib bodice? What?!

This show is truly awful, this season made no more sense than the last two and now that Prudence and Ambrose aren’t together, I might be done watching. 

-20/10

[katehuntington]

“I would like to request a Dean x Reader with a witches prompt and smut please.” - @flamencodiva​

Author: Kate Huntington Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Rowena Warnings: NSFW, 18+ only (if you’re under 18, don’t read any further), Smut, sex under influence of magic, rough sex, slightly Dom!Dean Word Count: 1623 words (I know, I suck at writing drabbles) Author’s note: beta’d by the lovely @kittenofdoomage​ & @theyaremyveryownthoughts​. Thank you for doing this so short notice!

     “Dean? Are you alright now, boy?”      Rowena observes the hunter from behind her altar in the bunker’s dungeon, a big pot in front of her filled with various ingredients smelling foul. Surely, he got a whiff of the disgusting brew, but that’s not the reason why Dean has to steady himself.       “You sure you are channeling that attraction spell in the right direction?” he questions the witch, after taking a breath.      “Of course I do, my dear,” she returns, somewhat insulted.      Y/N looks over at the hunter staggered, because he’s not the only one who’s feeling off. Her knees feel like they are about to buckle, a tightness in her coil winding her up. The red haired witch now glances from hunter to huntress, as it starts to dawn on her what’s going on.      “But it’s known that in some cases a wee side effect occurs--”      “- and you only thought to mention that now?” Dean snaps, his breathing picking up.      “It’s harmless, really. Nothing to worry about,” Rowena assures. “I would’ve picked other assistants, though, if I had known about the two of ya.” 

     “The two of us? What do you mean?”      Y/N’s respiration is picking up as well and she feels like she’s about to break out in a cold sweat. The fabric of her clothes cling to her skin, suffocating and hot. She rubs her thighs together when adjusting her stance and freezes; her underwear is damp. What the hell is going on with her?      “Oh, you poor oblivious children.” The red haired woman glances at Dean sympathetically, then at Y/N.       “What’s the side effect, Rowena?” the older Winchester brother demands.      “It’s an attraction spell, darling,” she says simply. “It magnifies the desire you already felt.”

     Dean carefully glances at the huntress, who has her arms folded around her stomach, fighting to stay upright. He feels his fast-coursing blood focus towards the pit of his abdomen. Shit, he’s hard as a rock just by the sight of his female colleague. 

     He rips away from the altar, staggering towards the exit of the dungeon. He can’t stand it anymore, this pull, and he knows he needs to get away from Y/N until the spell fades. Giving in to the temptation will ruin their friendship and the hunter is not ready to let that go. Yes, he wants more. Yes, she’s not just a friend to him. But he can’t let that sail its course. Not in this life.       Shocked she watches him turn the corner, a push in the back forcing her to follow the Winchester. It’s like a demon or a spirit is using the power of telekinesis, because she has no control over her actions.       “Dean?” she calls for him.

     Hearing her voice involuntarily stops him in his tracks, the plead melting away the determination he had to lock himself in his room and wait it out. Under the dim lamps of the hall he looks over his shoulder, facing the woman he’s gravitating towards. He resists for a second longer, his jaw fixed and his mind torn, but then he dashes at the woman he’s been pining for. Hungrily he seeks her lips, the violent kiss returned by her once Dean turns her into the concrete wall, caging her with his strong arms. The action is ferocious, but he cannot help himself. The magic is amplifying everything he wants, everything he needs. He has to have her. Now.

     She gasps for air when the hunter leaves her mouth and drags his teeth over her collarbone. He runs his hips into her as his arms buckle, the space she’s in becoming even smaller. A flush of heat warms the inside of her legs when she feels his length against her thigh.       “I-I can’t stop, but you can run,” Dean breathes, even though he must realize that it’s pointless. “If you don’t want this -”      “- I want this,” she returns decisive, not just the magic talking. “I’ve always wanted this.”

     He stares into her eyes for as long as the spell allows him to pause his actions, but then he can’t hold back anymore. The lust in her voice spurs him on and he crashes his mouth on hers,  biting down on her lip, pulling a yearning gasp from her throat when he draws blood. His hands are all over her body, first gripping her waist, then sliding under her flannel to knead her breasts, pulling her bra down far enough to free her nipples. Leaving her plaid shirt half undone when his patience runs out, his fingers now descend down her ass. God, he wishes he has the control to slow down, really appreciate every curve of her body, but he’s not in charge.       “Take your pants off,” he hisses, already undoing the copper button of her dark jeans.      She obeys, shimmying out of the denim after Dean runs the zipper down. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and inhales raspily, because the hunter wastes no time and pushes her panties from her slick center.      “God… You do want me, don’t ya?” he hums.

     She nods eagerly, looking straight at him as he drowns her in a sea of emerald green. Another heated kiss keeps her occupied while Dean unbuttons his own pants and pushes his boxers down. The anticipation overwhelms her, the urge for him aching now, but then he lifts her up, pushing her against the hard surface. She feels his tip parting her folds as she tries to free at least one foot from the pant leg of her jeans. When she finally manages, she hooks her legs around his hips, allowing Dean to enter her in one smooth motion. He stretches her so satisfyingly that she can feel that the discomfort caused by the spell begins to falter. A muffled cry echoes between the concrete under the bunker, her sounds repeating every time he pulls back and buries himself inside of her up to his hilt.      “Fuck, this feels so good,” she whimpers.

     Her arms constrict tighter around his neck now, fingertips pressing into his freckled skin that his henley doesn’t cover. The friction he was craving for earlier feels even better than he imagined. The haze and the hunger that took over the second he inhaled the fumes, are fading slowly. But even though he is regaining control, his motions don’t ease. He continues to roll his hips into her thoroughly, riding her up the wall with a steady pace, making sure her needs are satisfied as well. He snaps his hips up sharper then, grunts falling from his lips. Burying his face into the crook of her neck, Dean kisses her tender flesh. He can feel Y/N tensing up around him, another labored breath followed by a curse. She’s not gonna last much longer and neither is he.      “Dean… Please,” she begs, her eyes shut and head back. “Make me come.”      He gives her everything, ignoring the strain in his arms from holding her form in position against the wall. Her legs squeeze tighter around his waist, pulling him even deeper as she meets him in his thrusts. He fights his own orgasm, biting down on her shoulder. The rhythm becomes more erratic, but then he can feel her starting to tremble.       A series of moans leave her lips, the next even louder than the one before. The spring, coiled tight in her center, is about to snap free, but every time when she thinks she’s there, the pressure builds further. When she almost slips from his hold, he readjusts his grip, changes the angle slightly, pushing faster into her than he did before. It ignites a fire and sets off an explosion like she has never experienced. 

     Dean can feel her coming around him, shaking and pulsing, and it sends him over the edge as well. With a growl coming from deep within his chest, he spills inside of her and then stills, rolling into her softly a few more times to ride out their high, before he carefully lowers her to the ground. Out of breath she leans against him when he wraps his arm around her, using the other to steady himself against the wall. For a little while neither of them speak, because what does one say after induced-by-magic rough sex up against the bunker wall? Carefully Dean looks up at her, concerned eyes bouncing over her features. His silent question if she’s okay is answered with a smile, which the hunter returns.      “Are you two decent?” Rowena’s voice sounds from the dungeon.      “No!” Both Dean and Y/N return insync.

     The huntress struggles back into her jeans and adjusts her top, Dean zipping up his pants as well. She carefully glances up at him. His cheeks are flushed and he’s avoiding her eyes, clearly embarrassed with himself. Only when she takes his hand, he dares to meet her gaze, the silent communication calming them both.      “You horny teenagers are going to help me finish the spellwork, now that you have stopped screwin’ each other?”      The witch turns around the corner, resting one hand high on the doorsill, the other in her side. She eyes the hunters, an amused smirk on her red lips.      “Just give us a minute, okay?” Dean returns annoyed.      “Alright,” she sighs, about to return to her altar, but then she peeks around the corner again. “Oh, and by the way…”      Y/N and Dean look up from their entwined fingers, half expecting another sassy remark from the sorcerer. But what she is about to tell them, is meant to come across much softer. Rowena winks, dimples in her cheeks as she smiles.      “It’s about time, you two.”

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[ladyreapermc]

Fic: This isn’t a rom-com 4/?

Author’s notes: Catch up here Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Any feedback is appreciated!

Part 5

Wordcount: 2759

Warnings: have I mentioned oblivious idiots?

Keanu had trained for four months before they began shooting for this movie. He’d been rehearsing every weekend after they began so most of the fighting choreography came to him as easily as breathing. But as he tried for the fifth time to disarm his sparring partner doing the full body grab and pull out his gun for a couple of shots, he faltered once again, the movement feeling unnatural and awkward.

“Can we do it again?” Keanu asked, wiping sweat off his forehead. The double training with him grimaced and glanced at Chad.

“Why don’t we take ten?” his friend said, and everyone filed out of gym, leaving only Keanu and Chad behind.

With a sigh, he got up and moved to the benches set at the end of the training area, grabbing a Gatorade from one of the coolers.

“I keep messing up,” Keanu said with a sigh as Chad sat next to him. He felt guilty because they were all wasting their Saturday to rehearse this and the longer it took him to get it right, the longer they had to stay. And if he didn’t get it right, they’d have to postpone the shooting.

“You’re not messing up, Ke. The move looks fine,” Chad assured, patting his back. Keanu glanced at him sideways with an arched eyebrow. “Is it perfect? No. but no one’s gonna notice.”

“I’ll notice,” he sighed, combing his hair away from his face. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I know I’ve got this, but…” he sighed and shook his head. “Fuck!”

“Your head isn’t in it,” Chad pointed out. There was no accusation on his voice, no annoyance. He was just stating a fact. “This is about that girl, isn’t it? Did you ask her out yet?”

Keanu sighed again and studied the mat between his bare feet. Sometimes Chad just had a way of seeing right through him and he hated it.

“Yeah. We met up for coffee at Central Park.”

“How was it?” Chad pressed and he sighed again.

He knew it would be pointless to fight Chad on this. His friend would probe and push until he got the truth out of him so he might as well come out and say it. But that knowledge didn’t make things any easier, or Keanu any less embarrassed.

“I thought it went well,” he confessed, gulping down his sports drink.

“But…?” Chad prodded.

“She said she would love to hang out again,” Keanu admitted, and his friend winced. “Exactly.” He sighed.

“Maybe…” he trailed off when Keanu glared. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s pretty bad.” There was sympathy in his tone, but also a hint of amusement.

“What was I thinking?” Keanu complained, lying back on the bench and staring at the ceiling.

“At least now you know,” Chad commented. “And you can move on.”

And Keanu knew Chad was right. He really did. It was the wise thing to do. If Lilah didn’t see him like that, he just had to suck it up and deal with it. It wasn’t a problem. Keanu could do the friend thing. He was grown man. He could do it.

But first he would need to stop staring at her every time she talked and fight off the urge of touching her whenever she was near.

“Too late, huh?” Chad asked and Keanu realized he’d been glaring at the ceiling. “What is it about this one, man?”

“Honestly? I don’t know,” he confessed.

Keanu had been trying to answer that same question for the last couple of weeks since he met Lilah. There was just something in the way she was so open and genuine and seemed to have zero expectations of him that was very appealing. It almost felt like a magnetic pull of attraction that he couldn’t ignore. It had been a very long time since Keanu felt something like that and he really wanted to explore it. Even if it was just as friends. If that was what Lilah wanted.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Chad asked, bringing Keanu out of his musings.

“Be her friend, I guess,” he shrugged with a resigned sigh. “Can we pick this up tomorrow? I have a feeling I won’t land this today.”

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.”

Keanu nodded, heading off to the showers and changed back into his street clothes, before going back to his apartment. He paced around the room too restless to actually get anything done. He had scripts to read and the ARCH prototype to review, but whenever Keanu tried to do something on those lines, his attention wandered straight to the book sitting innocently on his bedside table.

He had finished in only a couple of days even though his shooting schedule had been full. Keanu found himself pulling it out in every possible break so he could enjoy yet another fascinating tale of betrayal and disaster.

He wasn’t expecting to enjoy it so much, but he did and with each finished story, he itched to send Lilah a text, comment what he thought of it with her, but Keanu managed to stop himself. He wasn’t sure if that would be ok.

As matter of fact, even though he finished the book days ago, Keanu still hadn’t called her because he didn’t know if he was ready to be just friends. But it was time to just face the music. He stood on the balcony of his apartment overlooking Central Park and dialed her number.

“Hi there!” her voice was full of excitement and it made something warm spread through his chest. “I was beginning to think you’d be joining EL James in hell.”

“Sorry. It’s just been a long week,” he said with a smile. “But I’ve finished it.”

“Yeah? What did you think?”

“How about we meet up tonight and I tell you all about it?”

The words were out before Keanu could stop himself and he winced at how desperate he sounded to his own ears. Did he really miss her that much? Could you miss someone like this when you’ve only known them for a couple of weeks?

“Tonight?” he heard the hesitation in her voice and wanted to kick himself. “I promise to help out at Novelsy for this soiree thing, but how about tomorrow? I did promise to brew you some real coffee, didn’t I?”

“I think you did.”

“It’s settled then,” and Keanu thought he could hear the smile on her voice. “Five?”

“That works.”

The next day, after rehearsal, Keanu found himself at Novelsy once again. He was a little confused on why Lilah would want to meet him there, until she led the way to the studio apartment upstairs.

“I share it with two friends,” she explained, leading the way inside. Keanu noticed the gathering of shoes by the door and paused at the doormat to take off his boots.

“You don’t have to,” Lilah hurried to say.

“I don’t mind,” Keanu replied, before shrugging off his jacket and handing her book back.

“So, you liked it?” she asked, moving towards the opposite wall, where a floor to ceiling bookcase stood crammed with books.

“Yeah. It was amazing,” Keanu said, his attention shifting to books in front of him. “Not all yours I presume.”

“These three, yes,” Lilah gestured at the center shelves. “Got a few more in my room too.”

“May I?” He gestured at the bookcase and Lilah nodded.

“Make yourself at home. I’m gonna start that coffee.”

Keanu browsed the titles, noticing she kept her books in pristine condition, and that she had a few comic books as well. Keanu smiled when he saw a few of Hellblazer editions. There were also hard covers for American Vampire and Dark Tower, two titles he didn’t recognize, but he noticed Stephen King’s name on both, and he realized he was the main author of in her shelves. As he paid closer attention, Keanu counted at least five different editions of The Shining. One of them in a different language.

“Safe to say you’re a Stephen King fan,” he commented looking over his shoulder and Lilah grinned.

“What gave me away?” she joked as Keanu moved to the open kitchen where she slowly pouring hot water over the ground coffee beans, filling the room with the delicious smell.

“Can I ask why you have so many different editions of The Shining?”

“It’s my favorite book so I collect them,” she replied with a shrug and Keanu just hummed noncommittally. “What?” Lilah asked with a frown.

“I didn’t say anything,” Keanu said hands raised in surrender as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“You have a very expressive face. Are you judging my choice of favorite book, Reeves?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied with a chuckle. “I’ve never been much of a horror guy, but I guess it is good for a horror book.”

“Good for a horror book?” she repeated with a horrified look “You need to read it again, because you clearly did it wrong.”

“How do you read a book wrong?” He asked with a grin. Keanu liked this. The teasing and the playfulness.

“You just do!” Lilah exclaimed with a wild hand gesture, nearly knocking over the coffee carafe. Keanu reached over and held it still and she winced and giggled, covering her mouth as she met his gaze.

“Tell me what I got wrong, then,” he asked, chuckling.

“Well, for one, it is so much more than just horror!” Lilah declared, her voice taking an excited edge. “It’s thriller and psychological and a great exploration of human nature. Yes, there are fantastical, supernatural elements, but he never makes a big deal out of it, you know? It’s just there, it exists, and people can’t really explain it, but they don’t dwell on it either, because there are much more to it. And he’s so good at building tension, because things don’t happen all at once and the way he writes, it makes you feel like you’re standing right there with the characters waiting for the next thing to happen. It’s amazing!”  

Keanu couldn’t help but stared as Lilah talked, noticing how excitement made her entire face lit up. It almost made him wanna go and read all of them. Get a sample of the same thrill she seemed to have, but something told Keanu it had very little to do with the books themselves and everything to do with her obviously passionate nature.

“Sorry,” Lilah said with an embarrassed little chuckle and Keanu frowned in confusion.

“For what?”

“I tend to babble. You can just cut me off when I start to go overboard.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Keanu declared with a smile. “I can see exactly how much you love whatever it is you’re talking about and it’s really nice.”

Lilah flushed pink at his words, looking away from him and Keanu fought off his wince. He might be a little farther into this thing than he first thought and obviously unable to really fight the attraction he felt to her.

“I’m sorry,” he said, huffing an embarrassing laughter. “I wasn’t…”

“I know,” she replied with shy smile. “But thank you.”

“And maybe I did read it wrong,” Keanu added with a small smile, making her expression shift into one of triumph, so he counted as a win.

“Coffee’s ready.”

She poured it in two mugs, one was blue and had the words ‘trust me, I’m the doctor’ in white letters, forming what it looked like a booth. He knew of Doctor Who, but it wasn’t something he watched. Hers was white, with the words ‘never sleep again’ topped by a red, bleeding gash.

“Milk or sugar?” she asked, and he shook his head, taking a sip and wincing. Felt like he had just taken a gulp of battery acid.

“Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to warn you,” Lilah smiled sheepishly. “It’s pretty strong.”

“No kidding,” Keanu commented, reaching for the milk. “You always drink it like that?” she nodded. “How come you don’t have an ulcer yet?”

“I’m just used to it,” she commented with a shrug and chuckle, bringing over a plate of cookies. “After six years of grad-school my blood is mostly caffeine by now. Anyway, tell me more of what you thought about the book.”

Keanu followed Lilah as she moved to the couch and they sat together, cradling their respective mugs and it was his time to babble and gesture widely as he shared his thoughts. Just like that day in Central Park, conversation flowed easily between them. It quickly shifted from the book to other titles, to movies and music and so much more and by the time Keanu noticed the time, over two hours had passed and the remains of his coffee had long gone cold.

“I think I should get going,” he said, rolling his shoulders, his muscles still sore from the rehearsal.

“So soon?” Lilah asked, glancing at her phone and wincing. “Shit. I missed a couple of messages from my advisor.”

Keanu took advantage of her distraction, to gather her mug, which she left on the floor by the couch, and the plate and head to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Lilah asked with an alarmed tone when she finally looked up and found him by the kitchen sink.

“The dishes,” he replied over his shoulder with a smile. “It’s only fair.”

“Not when you’re a guest,” Lilah said, moving to stand beside him reaching for the dishwashing sponge, but Keanu just raised it above his head with an amused smirk.

Lilah jumped once to try and reach it, but she was too short to be effective. However, the movement made her body press against his and Keanu froze in surprise. She must’ve realized it, because she stepped back with wide eyes.

“It’s two mugs and a plate, Lilah,” he said, trying to break the awkward tension between them. “Just let me do it?”

She finally relented and stepped back. He proceeded with cleaning the dishes, all the while feeling her gaze on his back. It made him a self-conscious and a little uncomfortable.

“This is weird,” Lilah declared with a small laugh. “Keanu Reeves is doing my dishes. Feels almost like a comedy sketch. I’m kinda waiting for the punch line.”

“No punch line,” he reassured, drying his hands. “There. All done and nothing has fallen off,” Keanu joked.

He noticed as Lilah gave him a onceover, gaze lingering on his chest and arms, before moving back up to his face. Her cheeks were flushed as she bit her lip and Keanu pushed his hands inside his pockets to keep himself from reaching for her for a kiss.

“I think all of your fans appreciate that,” Lilah said, after clearing her throat and Keanu hid his chuckle behind his hand.

“Anyway, thanks for the coffee. You were right. It is different.”

“Good different?” she asked with a smile, which he returned.

“Very good.”

He moved to the door and turned to look at Lilah and maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but she looked almost disappointed. Keanu picked up his jacket and put on his boots again and for a moment, they stood there in a tense silence.

“So, I guess it’s your turn to pick the next one,” Lilah said, thumbs hooked on the belt loops of her jeans.

“Next?” Keanu asked with an arched eyebrow and a smile. “Are we doing a book club now?”

“Why not?” she grinned and shrugged. Keanu took a moment to think, his eyes landing on the Doctor Who mug on top of the counter.

“You like Philip K. Dick?”

“Never read anything by him,” Lilah admitted with a grimace and This time, Keanu was the one with the horrified look. “I know, I know…”

“Scanner Darkly. It’s really good.”

“I did like the movie,” she commented, and Keanu grinned, ducking his head as Lilah opened the door for him.

“Well, goodnight Lilah.”

Before Keanu could register what was happening, Lilah moved closer, standing on her tiptoes as she pressed a quick kiss on his cheek.

“This is how we say hello and goodbye where I come from,” she explained with a flash of smile and color on her cheeks.

“That’s uh…” Keanu cleared his throat. “A great way of greeting someone.”

“Goodnight, Keanu.”

He nodded and stepped out of the apartment, unable to contain his smile as he moved towards the stairs.

(tbc)

Go to Part 5

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[dextervexter]

god it really wasn’t as bad as it could have been but it certainly wasn’t the best. I will say it was definitely no where near as horny as everyone is making it out to be.

so first of all, I’m opening with I’m not gonna talk about the ENTIRE movie but just some parts of it but there will definitely be spoilers

I was right about a LOT of stuff going in, like Macavity whisking away a lot of the contenders for rebirth so he could be chosen. I was also right about Taylor Swift not being in the movie for more than five minutes, I was right about Tugger not having a massive role, I was right about Grizabella being given a past with Macavity, and I was right about the dancing being fuckin bad

I was also unfortunately right about Jenny eating her cockroaches and I literally could not look at the screen during her whole number I was so upset I felt so trapped The Gumbie Cat Number Is A Fucking Hostage Situation 

H o w e v e r -wheeze-

Over all, it was Cats. It was a really REALLY weird take on Cats, but it was consistent with the stage play save for some changes with characters and pacing. Hooper clearly watched multiple versions of the play to try and get the vision he liked the best. He understood that this would be difficult, and he did what he could to try and get this weird ass musical on screen. There are parts of it I liked, there are parts of it I didn’t care for, and there were parts I astral projected to get away from. But if you go see this movie, you will be seeing Cats as it was when it first arrive on Westend in 1981. Original arrangements of the songs are used as well, for example, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer  is sung as the jazzy and insidious number from the OLC rather than the bouncy and fun 98 version. I don’t think it’s awful but it’s definitely not what younger fans are familiar with. 

I think the only issue with the musical arrangements I have was the singing because Hooper once again insisted on having everyone sing live and it really hinders a lot of talented people. Often times I found myself wondering if these people were capable of singing in the slightest. But I think that’s just bad choices on Hooper’s part.

Let’s talk about the Good:

The best part of the film is definitely Skimbleshanks, and not just because he fucks and later kills a man with his supreme tap skills. The visuals are great, this is the only part with actual good dancing, and Steven Macrea has fantastic energy. Skimbleshanks is already one of my favorite numbers in the stage musical, and they get pretty creative with this. It was one of the moments in the movie where I could say for sure I was REALLY having a good time.

Also Les Twins were absolutely a treat to watch. They were funny, talented, clearly having a ton of fun, and played off each other as though they weren’t in a movie, they were just goofing around like real siblings do. I found myself actually missing them when they weren’t on screen

Robbie Fairchild does a decent Munkustrap and has some fun exchanges with the other characters. I also thought Jason Derulo did a wonderful job as Tugger despite not being in the film a lot. He’s self centered, clearly caught up in his own world, and is so obsessed with himself he doesn’t really flirt with anyone or focus a lot on Victoria for too long because he’s just so in love with himself and what he wants. And honestly that is basically just tugger.

The visuals are also really nice. The sets and practical effects help the movie feel more real and bring a great sense of life to this world that is happening right under the human one. The whole movie has this lovely, dream like quality to it, and it helped remind everyone we weren’t supposed to take it so seriously. 

There were also a moment with Munkustrap that I thought was really cute, where Jenny complains she’s just as good as Tugger because she can break dance too. You hear Munkustrap chuckle and say “oh yeah? show me.” in a really playful way and it was adorable, even if it resulted in me seeing Rebel Wilson pop and lock,

Lastly, and this is a big one I know a lot of fans were angry about: Misto is implied to like victoria, but it’s never stated that they end up together. Actually a lot of their interactions can be interpreted as Just Friends Being Pals. It’s definitely not as big of a problem as a lot of people were making it out to be, but it’s just not interesting and doesn’t really matter to the plot.

I liked more of it than I was expecting, especially the little shout outs to Eliot’s original drafts of the poems. I’m seeing it again tomorrow with friends so I’ll probably post more about the things I missed (i seriously missed a lot of the gumbie cat number because i was too horrified to look so maybe i will be braver this time)

NOW THE BAD!!!

This is literally the worst fucking Macavity ever and Idris Elba had every right to be as piss drunk as he was at the premier. In fact I’m pretty sure he was drunk for a majority of the film. It’s very clear he is not having a good time, he is not enjoying the story, and he doesn’t want to be there. Granted, I’m willing to place a lot of the blame on Hooper’s take on the story, which required Macavity to be a greater presence, but a lot of what we see is a clowning, pathetic, loser who is throwing a tantrum because he isn’t getting his way and he’s very very naked for most of it. His last moments in the film were so laughable, so embarrassing, and so unbelievably desperate that I could barely watch. There is no dignity in Elba’s performance, and nothing mysterious or threatening about him. It’s not just 2019 Macavity that hurts this movie though, it’s how Macavity changes a massive part of the story with his nonsense, but I’m saving that for last because it’s a big one and I hate it!

Victoria is basically really bland. There was absolutely no reason to try and make this from her perspective. Like Webber and Hooper say they wanted her to serve as the character we see the world through but she’s bland, uninteresting, and just very boring. I understand their reasoning for making her the lead, as Victoria is a very recognizable character and easy to follow in dark lighting and crowded dancing, but she just simply exists to stare in wonder and ask questions that are answered in songs that she will stare in wonder over. If they wanted to have the audience experience the world through a character they probably should have gone with Munkustrap or something considering he’s narrating a majority of the film and knows what’s going on and can explain things a little better. He’s also a stronger character. Victoria is boasted to be this strong but shy little thing who approaches this new world with curiosity and hope and she’s really not. She doesn’t really get the chance to do or say anything that would help with the plot. she barely speaks to anyone but munk or misto, and it is very much a downgrade from her stage counterpart. Frankie Hayward is a very pretty dancer, but she’s not given much to work with and I found myself not caring in the slightest what she was up to.

This also leads into Beautiful Ghosts, which I posted about before so I’ll just leave this here and move on because I’ve said all I can say and I have more important things to talk about regarding Grizabella. to summarize, I was right and the song sucked.

The dancing is lamentable mess as well. God I sometimes forgot they were dancing. They are moving, but it’s not dancing. I would say only Les Twins and Jaih Bote were the clear dancers because they were pretty much the only ones allowed to put their own personal spins on the choreography. I’ve said it so many times and I will say it again Andy Blankenbluer is a fucking awful choreographer. His work is claustrophobic and ugly to look at. You lose the person in the movement but in the sense that you really don’t care if you see them again. Blankenbluer has stated so many times he feels as though audiences don’t have the attention spans for long dances sequences anymore and want more than one thing to see, but for the love of god could you give us something to look at? The dances are quick, ugly, and the moves are put down before they can make a good impression. He has no understanding of how to define a character through movement, which makes telling everyone apart very difficult, especially since the designs are already so unrecognizale. His work was  atrocious in the 2016 Cats Revival, but at least he had Gillian Lynne’s original choreography to lean on. Without the backing of better choreographers, his work is downright forgettable. 

Now the Big One, the inexcusable and awful part that I hate hate hate: Grizabella.

God I was rooting for her we were all rooting for her. Remember how in the 98 film she’s this broken down, cast aside, character barely hanging by a thread? Yeah in this she not only is given a throw away past where she chooses to side with Macavity for some unknown reason, but she’s chosen as a last resort. Yeah. Remember how I said Macavity’s plot paves the way for the mishandling of a beloved and tragic character. This is it. After Macavity steals literally everyone who is competing for rebirth, after Old D is returned, the Jellicles realize they have no one to choose from for rebirth. Victoria goes outside, brings Grizabella in, they sing memory, and she gets chosen. It is framed in a way that the cats all realize how badly she has it, but oh my god does it come off as heartless, careless and pis aller. Old D has no interaction with Grizabella until this point. The Jellicles don’t really interact with her unless to shoo her away. She is basically a background character for the whole movie. Giving her a past with Macavity was pointless. It never comes up. Macavity never sees her in the film. It’s never stated why she chose him or what she did with him. There is not a shred of dignity in Hudson’s performance, and I fully attribute that to Hooper making all his actors sing on set. Grizabella comes off as pitiable, but not enough to want to see her be reborn. It was downright heartless.

OVERALL!!

I give this movie a 6/10 stars. When they are doing Cats, it’s pretty enjoyable. Not everything I wanted, and some things I genuinely didn’t fucking ask for, but overall it is not as big of a problem as I thought it was going to be. I think if you’re apprehensive or angry about the film, I think you should give it a watch and you’ll either like it or you won’t. 

you should definitely not expect the 98 version, because no version will ever be that perfect, but go in with an open mind and give it a chance. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

How would you characterize Damian by himself? Also have you read Robin: Son of Batman? If so, what did you think of it? Sorry for all these questions, by the way.

Lets just say Gleason is a way better artist than he is a writer.

Robin: Son of Batman is a series with a good idea at it’s heart for it’s first arc, but overall just wasn’t the greatest written thing ever, and botched almost everything it needed to do to make it work.

It’s pacing is manic at times, and incoherent to follow. Things just sort of happen without any proper set ups.

Damian himself is written with a veil of depth via the flashbacks but overall is very two dimensional. He’s mean, and he had a dark past. For a lot of it that is all to him. At most he has random moments of caring and that’s about it.

There’s a part in issue 3 were he fights Maya and without much pacing they just sit down and chat just because of a sudden moment. The pacing ruins any sense of emotion were they try to develop him, but it’s so rushed it just doesn’t feel right.

It wants to hit a beat and it rushes to it. Making it just feel unworthy of the moment it tried to create.

Then he goes back to being a jerk anyway so the moment doesn’t mean anything hardly. 

When there seems to be a moment of development, quite often it feels pointless. 

They could cut out these moments and the characters would mostly remain the same. At the beginning of the first arc to the end, Damian is still the same character besides pandering moments, he just asks for forgiveness once. It’s character development is showing how much worse he used to be, but they botched even that cuz of flashbacks that show he wasn’t that bad.

So they never really want you to think Damian is too bad, but they never fully have others react right around him, creating a superficial tone.

Him and Maya just sort of work together, while Damian is just a jerk. She reacts appropriately sometimes, but other times she barely reacts at all. Sometimes she treats him in such a way it’s like the audience is supposed to read Damian as silly when a moment prior treats him as a serious possibly crazed person.

There’s moment were Damian still apparently has his baby teeth still, I’m not sure how seeing how many fights he’s in, but it’s right after his fight with Maya were he looks crazed. So that’s a good example of it. They use these randomly moments that treat Damian as if he’s just a normal kid like they want you to forget his general personality. As a form of woobification.

So the tone is often very inconsistent.

Damian’s sort of just a Gary Stu that way. He’s talented at everything, and even when he’s a jerk he just gets away with it mainly besides maybe 2 or 3 moments.

He takes on Deathstroke by himself and is barely even hurt.

I’m pretty sure he tries to kill Talia. So what happened to not killing? But he could’ve just had a sword against her throat to make her not move.

But like– listen to him. He acts like he’s gonna kill her.

One of the most famous parts of the series is the flashback where Damian spares Goliath and cries

But I think that scene is ridiculous, –

–because Damian in his origin story cut heads off of humans and was numb to it. If Damian knew that killing all this time, doesn’t that ruin his character development? And make how nuts he was in his first appearance not make any sense given how obviously numb he was, and how he clearly had no idea it was wrong?

It’s very much a series that wants you to ignore all character logic for practically every emotional scene there is.

When Maya forgives Damian it’s mostly just over the course of a page, it’s mostly rushed. It feels about “oh look how great he is deep down”, but he’s not developed hardly, within the next issues he’s the same as always.

It wants the reward without the effort. It’s an imaginative series with it’s visuals, but lazy with it’s characters.

Suddenly Maya says she’s Damian’s sister now, but why? He was mean to her the whole time besides one or two moments. It’s desperately trying to achieve these emotional fan pleasing moments, but hardly does a thing to earn it.

Something else the series does is just treat Damian like he’s so great. He’s so talented, he has such a big heart, look at all this bad stuff in his past, forgive him, and it wants you to ignore how he’s an egotistical, mean, jerk the whole time, because he has a few moments of having a heart.

So in that aspect it’s like Detective Comics Rebirth with Tim, except replace bad past with evil future, and mean jerk, with blooming fascist. Although thankfully it doesn’t hit you over the head with the “oh he’s so great” moments like Tec Rebirth. They still let you know he’s mean at least some of the time even if people don’t react right enough a lot of the time.

Like overall it’s a series that would rather you just feel bad for Damian over developing him. If he seems to get better it’s so you feel bad or wants to pander, and then he goes back to normal. 

It’s cheap chump writing.

Even art wise Gleason got a lot worse at drawing Damian.

This is what Damian is supposed to look like. Ignoring the bat, because I’m not saying he should abuse animals, he’s past that, but just how he’s drawn.

In this he’s drawn like this:

Only thing that got better is a more racially accurate skin tone, and that’s not even consistent all the time..

Otherwise it doesn’t even look like him.

Ray Fawke’s writing and Ramon Bach’s art is even worse on their run. Ramon clearly doesn’t know what Damian looks like that much cuz he seems to think he’s five and Ray’s writing is rushed, lazy, and pandering.

There’s a moment in one of the last issues were there’s a hug and they’re like “family”, but it’s so rushed and pandering. It’s not earned given the time the characters have actually spent together and how Damian is. It’s just a random sudden thing to suck up to people.

To me, Robin: Son of Batman, is a really bad series that was trying desperately hard to be good, with the Gleason part of it. You can certainly tell he’s trying his best, but the end product just wasn’t very good. The Ray Fawkes part was lazy garbage that relied almost solely on pandering to make anyone care.

It’s created moments people share cuz they seem good or pandering, but when you actually read and think, you just begin to question things.

If it didn’t pander to people so much or tried to woobify Damian as much as it did. I genuinely think no one would care about it that much, because it’s not well written.

[michael-langdon-baby]

Salvation

Pairing: Michael Langdon x Original Character

Length: 2.6~

Warnings: None really, i think....

Chapter 6: Betrayal

Masterlist

She walks down a long passageway, her bare feet slapping against the floor and echoing around the walls. There is only darkness ahead; there’s no point in looking back. It feels like she’s walking for hours and she always ends up in the same place; the circular room.

 There are always candles lit around the pedestal floor and even more lining the walls. It gives the room an ominous glow.

 She blinks once, twice, and then he’s there. He never has any clothes on and always starts out facing away from her, his soft back on display that had blonde locks cascading to his shoulders like a river of gold.

 She didn’t know him, but she wanted to; yearned to run her hands to see if the hair was as soft as it looked, to feel if the milky skin was as warm as the glow of the surrounding candles.

 And then he would turn to her; blue eyes making her gasp and step back in need of putting space between them. They were beautiful.

 And he would smile, “I think you’re beautiful.” It would turn her tan cheeks a shade darker, and he would take a step forward, her eyes trying not to stray to his cock.

 “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” Another step closer. “Father told me you were hand picked, just to my liking.”

 He stood in front of her, those blue eyes watching her every muscle move with every deep breathe. His pale hand reached up and caressed her plump cheek, “My precious Jewel, do I frighten you?”

 That long finger with a ring the size of her eyes ran along the wetness of her outer lip, and she nodded. He smirked and arched forward, pressing himself against her, “Don’t be, I would never hurt you.”

 Julie always asked him the same question, always with a quiver in her voice, “What do you want from me?”

 He always gave the same response, “Everything.”

Julie always awoke in a cold sweat, eyes darting around the room to make sure she was really alone. It was terrified and aroused her to no end; to dream of the blonde man so many nights made her miss the ones where he was gone.

 More nights than not did her hand slip down her belly to her unclothed pussy, already wet from the previous dreams. It was always quick; eyes closed and clit rubbed at a furious pace before a soundless cry left her lips, thighs shaking at the tendrils of pleasure coursing through her.

 She would stay on the orgasmic high for a few minutes, wetness seeping onto the sweat-covered sheets, which would prompt her to get up and take a tissue to the stickiness between her thighs.

 Her brows furrowed at the light redness staining the tissue, grimacing in a childlike manner. “Really body? You’re gonna betray me like this?” There was a strange correlation with her monthly bleeding and the heavier dreams. The ones were he simply touched her and whispered sweet words were fine, but the ones that caused her to bleed usually had him bleeding for her, offering himself to her like gift for a Queen.

 Julie huffed and slumped on her walk to the bathroom, now feeling the growing pain in her lower abdomen. It was times like these that being female became a burden, cursed with the act of bleeding once a month and the pain that came with it was all to burdensome.

 If she could cut out her ovaries, she would. It took her aback when the thought of presenting her bloody ovaries to the man from her dreams entered her head; not today brain. But for now she simply propped her leg on the counter, unwrapped the tampon and grimaced as it slid into her, it was always uncomfortable,

 It was 5:45 in the morning, and seeing as the cramps were starting to set in, it would be pointless to try and get some sleep. She snatched her phone off the bedside table and opened up her Safari, scrolling through the open tabs.

 One was Chloe’s Instagram, displaying her friend in a crouching pose with a peace sign- the pinned location was New Orleans… damn, her friend hadn’t even told her she was out of town- and the white girl she was with was tagged ‘mmontgomery’. Hm, she looked familiar, but didn’t care enough to go to her page.

 Julie flicked the page away, ignoring the pang of hurt that her best friend was drifting away from her. But it wasn’t just Julie’s fault; yes, she may have been spending more and more time with Michael, but Chloe had stopped eating lunch with her, stopped answering her texts… it was like she wanted them to drift apart.

 Her finger hovered over the page titled ‘Church of Satan’- she’d left it open after searching in regards to her ‘Hail Satan’ dream-, and a moment later clicked on it, waiting for it to reload.

 The screen was engulfed in a red hue that made her eyes burn, and the realistic picture of Satan made her uneasy. The texts upon texts spoke about how Lucifer was cast out by God for not loving the creations he called humans enough, that we were the cause of Satan’s downfall. It said that Satan roamed the Underworld for answers of how to escape, how to take his vengeance on the humans who had done this to him, but he never did.

 The next part was titled ‘The Antichrist’, and her eyes read the sprawl with question.

It said the Antichrist was Satan’s son, the one who looked, talked, and walked like us but he wasn’t one of us. He was a special being with powers that people could only dream of and would bring upon the Armageddon; the ender of worlds. Though the ending wasn’t complete and the Church was still waiting for the Antichrist to rise up and smite them all.

 An address was at the bottom, including a phone number and time schedule. She held no regrets in bookmarking that page, though still closed it with a flick of her finger, putting down the phone and relishing in the sound of morning birds.

   One of the only things that sucked about being 17 was having school; the everyday hellscape that seemed to never have an end. It would have been slightly more tolerable if Michael went was there but him and Ms. Mead were adamant that school just wasn’t for him. She wished her mom were like that.

 “Surprise bitch.” Julie turned around and gave a tight smile at Chloe. “Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

 It was a kick to the teeth to see her friend after her 3 week trip to New Orleans, but what was really strange was the usually pink preppy girls attire; She wore a skintight black turtle neck that tucked into high waisted dark denim jeans, a thick belt and black boots. She even had a large circular hat that was just as black as the outfit.

 “You do know we’re inside right?” Julie motioned to the hat, in which Chloe rolled her eyes, “It’s called fashion sweetie, look it up.” Normally, she would’ve laughed and playfully rolled her own eyes, but instead Julie turned and started away.

 “Hey, wait!” Chloe’s boots stomped against the marble floor as she tried to catch up, “Aren’t you gonna ask how my trip was? Aren’t you curious about all the New Orleans juju shit I saw?”

 Julie clenched her jaw, “At the moment, not really.” She tried to turn away but Chloe tugged her back, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen while I was gone? Are you mad about something?”

 “You know, I’m not mad that you took the trip, I’m not mad that you made friends there, hell, I’m not even made that you look like you raided Hottopic before showing up.” Julie tried not to well up. “But I am mad that mad that my best friend didn’t give enough shits to tell me that they were leaving for three fucking weeks. So yeah Chloe, I’m mad.”

 And of course, in a very Chloe like manner, she laughed it off, “Are-Are you actually serious? What are you my mom? I don’t have to tell you every little thing I do.”

 “No, but you could act like were at least some form of friends. You’ve been ignoring my texts, my calls, everything.” Chloe allowed Julie to step away with watery eyes. “I thought we were closer than that Chloe.”

 Chloe let out a cynical laugh and it was like a flip had switched inside her, “Oh I get it, you’re jealous that I met people who understand me.” Chloe grew almost frantic in her speech, hands shaking by her side as her eyes darted around the empty hallway before landing back on Julie. “They can help me Julie, why can’t you just open your eyes?”

 Please, Father! Open my eyes!

 Julie shook away that dream, “I see you Chloe, I really do. But-“

 Chloe stood with fists clenched and jaw tight and the metallic screech that echoed through the hallway had Julie turning, staring aghast the concave locker. Julie turned to her friend; what the hell was happening to Chloe?

 “D-Did y-you-“

 “See me Julie. I’m more than you ever were and will ever be.” Chloe’s voice dropped an octave lower. “Run away little girl, its gonna get ugly.” The tall girl sauntered off with a swagger, paying no mind to the crying fleeing Julie, who ran from the school.

   Michael Langdon was bored. He didn’t think there could be such boredom like this; it would have been more fun to be with Julie. He wondered what she was doing. Was she in school? Was it fun? Were the people there nice?

 A dark look overcame his face; were the people there nicer than him? Better than him? Would they try to steal her away from him? He shook those thoughts away; they were meant to be together and no stupid teenagers could take her away from him.

 An insistent banging at the door had him sitting up in bed, eyes squinting with curiosity. Ms. Mead was off doing unholy thing in his father’s name and his Julie was at school, which meant it was a stranger. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he used his powers to see into the mind of the person at his doorstep.

 He leapt of the bed and “Ouch!” He shook off his hard slam into the wall from his sock covered toes and sprinted to the door, opening it with a wide smile. A wide smile that ever so slowly deflated at the sight of his Julie standing before him, blood shot eyes and sniffles leaving her wet nose. It was hard to control the rage in his veins at her distressed state and he was slightly glad she was unaware of the shaking tree in his front yard.

 She leaped into his arms and the tree became still. He held her on his doorstep, not knowing how to help. “What do I do?”

 She sniffled and another tear fell, “Hold me.” It took a lot for Julie not to question how one moment they were in the entry of the house and the next his bedroom; she would put that thought away for later. This wasn’t the first time Michael had done something like this and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

 He crowded her onto his twin size bed and covered her like an octopus would its prey. Though it did just the trick; his tight hold soothed away her sadness and washed away her tears. The hurt from Chloe’s words was slowly fading away, leaving just her and Michael.

 They lay on their sides, facing each other. He watched her bloodshot eyes and reached one hand up to feel her warm cheeks, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

 Julie thought about telling him everything; spilling all the pain she felt from Chloe’s hatred and the sadness she harbored from feeling alone. So she did, her voice a whisper in his ear that had him gripping her harder.

 “But you’re not alone.” He moved in closer. “You’ll never be alone again.” They watched each others lips and made a kiss an innocent as innocence could be. It lasted only a few seconds long but it felt like heaven. She murmured, “was that okay?”

 And he gave her a smile that made his eyes even brighter, “I love you Julie.”

 It took her aback for a moment, a declaration of love from a boy she’d know for a short amount of time. Did she love Michael Langdon? She wasn’t sure, but there was something inside her that said she did. So she said, “I love you Michael.”

 “You’ll never leave me right?” He was such an insecure boy but he had to know, he wanted to hear it.

 “Never.” Their lips met again, and she started to believe that love was in the air.

   God, being in love was so fun. They were like dating dating and they shared sweet kisses whenever they could and held hands when they strolled through the Hotel on the two Saturdays of the month. It was so domestic of her and he made her feel loved in a way her mom never could.

 And nothing could go wrong it seemed.

 Well…

 A harsh banging on the front door had Michael at his feet in an instant, Julie already making her way to open and see whom it was. Julie grimaced; it was a medium height pale girl with clothes akin to Chloe’s new style, red lips moving in an angry twitch and squinting eyes.

 Wait! She knew this girl- she was the one from Chloe’s picture in New Orleans… but why was she here?

 “Can I help you?” The girl whose name had been tagged ‘mmontogmery’ let out an annoyed exhale and lifted up her phone, displaying a smiling picture of Chloe, “Have you seen this girl?”

 Julie answered truthfully as she felt Michael creep up behind her, “We aren’t really on speaking terms at the moment-“

 The girl cut her off and spat, “I don’t need a sob story I just need to know where she is.”

 “You are rude.” Michael was nose to nose with the girl. “Don’t talk to her like.” The rude girl looked ready to shoot back an insult that would probably make him cry so Julie tugged him behind her so he was out of focus, “I don’t know where she is. Sorry, can’t help.”

 She made to close the door in the girls face, but some force was stopping her; even with both hands, it wouldn’t budge. The girl simply pushed her way inside, ignoring Michael’s death like glare, “Ugh, is this what poor people live like? No thank you.”

 She sat on the couch and crossed her legs. Julie was just in shock and finally was able to slam the door, marching over to this bitch, “Who the hell do you think you are? This is my goddam house and you need to leave.”

 The girl sighed and looked into Julie’s eyes with intensity, “My name is Madison Montgomery and I’m here to find Chloe before she causes a shit show that even the all holy Supreme can’t fix. So either you and that twelve year old are gonna help me find her or a lot of people are going to die.”

 Madison had had the words barely leave her mouth before she started gasping for air, well done nails scratching at her porcelain skin. Julie rushed forward, not knowing what to do. “Michael! Help her! What do i-“

 She fell to the floor and crawled away from Michael Langdon; the boy whose eyes were rolled back into his head with a clenched fist at his side, Madison still choking on the couch.

Hope you enjoyed!

[thealogie]

u said the other night that u would explain the "you go too fast for me" line, i'm not the anon that asked about it but if u would be willing to do so still, i would love to hear ur thoughts. i have a straight friend who laughed at it bc they interpreted it as the surface level "crowley drives really fast" and thought it was intended as a joke and i don't know how to explain to them the depth of that line and i was hoping ur reading ur thoughts might help me articulate mine. thank u

oh yeah absolutely. I should have known that my adhd would get in the way of me remembering to explain it without that ask there to remind me!

Ok I feel like you’re asking me to explain it to people who literally do not have any media literacy so let me take it truly step by step.

Step 1: writers, actors and directors use subtext in film. Literally all stories have SOME KIND of subtext because stories suck without subtext. subtext can be things that are implied about a character’s feelings (eg we kind of know han and leia have feelings for each other before they tell us so), it can be symbols you use to encode your story with political/ideological messages (famous example: the eyes in the great gatsby...the light in the great gatsby...gatsby in the great gatsby), and you use it to create tension and raise the stakes in a scene by making the scene be about two things at once, a surface level thing that moves the story forward and s secondary thing that moves character forward...I wish I could think of any other famous example off the top of my head but the one they use in so many writing classes is basic instinct...the detective interrogates sharon stone “what’s your new book about?” She says “about a detective who falls for the wrong woman.she kills him.” She’s implying he’s gonna fall for her etc. This is super obvious but there can obviously be subtler examples

Ok so premise 2: it’s more likely that a scene or piece of dialogue or plot point serves a purpose beyond its literal meaning when reading it literally (and only literally) would render it completely superfluous to plot or character. This is especially true of gay coding in film. is there any point to Plato having a picture of Alan Ladd in his locker or swinging around a rubber hose like that in Rebel without a Cause if NOT to tell us he’s gay? 10/10 film teachers (all across the Kinsey scale) say nope all of that is there to Drop Hints He’s Gay. Ok at this point if your friends go “obviously that’s just a prop not a plot point that has another purpose as well”...he’s a great example. in BBC Merlin when Arthur is dying he gives his seal to someone to take back to Guinevere, naming her as his successor and then he goes off with Merlin who is trying to cure him and then he dies in Merlin’s arms...on the dvd commentary, as he hands off the seal, the writer of the show said “oh there goes the last vestige of his heterosexuality—i mean marriage!”...like yeah he was half kidding but writers absolutely know this stuff and they know use of subtextual cuss creates a subconscious impression in the viewer’s mind, leading them to the right emotional place (in the Merlin example, even if you don’t read the handing off of the seal as a symbol of him saying “goodbye to his heterosexuality,” it gives you the mental impression that he is easily parting with Gwen and going with Merlin).

Finally in the context of that actual scene: 80% of the conversations aziraphale and crowley have in that montage are completely unnecessary to plot. it’s all about character. By the time we get to the car specifically, we already know aziraphale is anxious about rules but willing to break them, we know these two like each other and we know crowley likes to be nice to aziraphale. So what possible new thing could they communicate? well, lots. even without a gay reading...we get that aziraphale cares enough about crowley to specifically break a rule for him, that he’d rather do this than see crowley in danger, and we also get that crowley wants to hang out and is disappointed that aziraphale won’t come with him. Up to the point where crowley offers to give aziraphale a lift as a thank you, you can be like “ok even if I read this at a surface level, I’m getting new character information, this all makes sense and is communicating new information to me” but it’s utterly pointless to have crowley offer a SECOND TIME and insist “I’ll give you a lift anywhere you want to go” and it really serves no purpose for aziraphale to say “you go too fast for me” in THAT voice if NOT to tell us a subtextual GAY story. What does it add to the story for crowley to offer again and for aziraphale to say I can’t come with you because you go too fast if NOT to also communicate to us something about their relationship? even if you don’t read it romantically it’s just so clear that it communicates crowley being needy and aziraphale being unwilling to get on crowley’s level about breaking the rules/being friends. But it’s clearly romantic (like deliberately meant to build up subtextual “oh it’s forbidden” romantic tension). Look at the performances and directing choices! They matter! he doesn’t say this line in a funny way...this could have been played as a joke. Like aziraphale was using heaven as an excuse the first time he said no to the ride but actually he’s been trying hard to hide that he’s scared of cars going too fast!! I know it doesn’t sound like a good punchline but I could 100% direct that scene to be incredibly funny with no dialogue change. You just need to change the tone and pacing to set up “you go too fast for me crowley” as a comedic reveal...but he says it softly....he says it super seriously and sadly......why.....WHY......

[comicteaparty]

November 18th-November 24th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from November 18th , 2019 to November 24th , 2019.  The chat focused on Daemon by Akreampuff (Alyce Sarich).

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Daemon by Akreampuff (Alyce Sarich)~! (https://tapas.io/series/Daemon-Akreampuff)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until November 24th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Who or what do you think caused the fire at Billie’s house? What do you think the motive was behind it, and can Billie even find the culprit? Even if Billie finds the culprit, what do you think will happen then?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

1. I'm not sure if it counts as a scene, but I really love the Zeke Magical Girl transformation joke page. It gave me a good chuckle. http://daemon.smackjeeves.com/comics/2603823/bonus-comic-zekes-alternate-transformation/ Besides that, I also really enjoyed the kind of world building, creation of the different worlds mythos section. I thought the dialogue and visuals in that section were really well done and communicated the ideas really clearly.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

2. At this point I'm kind of suspicious of everyone as the possible fire starter X') I feel like it probably wasn't Zeke, but I also wouldn't be surprised it he was revealed as the culprit later. He seems like a good boy, but I could also see him having done it if a higher up had ordered him to. I definitely think Satan had some hand in the fire happening in general though I don't think she personally set the fire. Generally I feel like the motive for the fire was to trigger Billie's transformation. Since the hybrids are supposed to be the key to fighting the angels, Satan stands to profit from having one more soldier. Especially since Billie has strong Chosen One vibes. But also, now I'm super suspicious of Jess since on the most recent page she has the daemon's protection sigil behind her door. http://daemon.smackjeeves.com/comics/2858373/page-147/ Either way, I think at some point (probably soon?) the culprit is going to come to light. I feel like that reveal is going to come along with some kind of good, dramatic betrayal, but I guess I'll just have to keep following to see! XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What do you think happened to the daemon who disappeared to somewhere Zeke doesn’t know? How are they involved with events in the story, and how will this effect Billie’s opinion of daemon’s in the short and long term?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

3. I don't know if I have a favorite character yet, but Billie did score some big points for basically telling Satan the whole angels vs demons war is dumb. http://daemon.smackjeeves.com/comics/2791188/page-127 Part of me hopes that she end up fighting against both sides and forms some kind of Earth Defense Squad.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you think the story has to stay about destiny and fate given Billie’s desire for one was somewhat fulfilled? How do you think Billie will balance her newfound destiny as a hybrid with her free choice to pursue a normal college life?

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene right now at least is probably when Billie meets Satan. So many expectations thrown out the window, and I kind of like how gray Satan is. I couldn't really get a feel for what she was aiming at, and I could really gel with Billie's uncooperativeness. There was a good amount of do I trust her or not, and I like scenes like that that really keep you on your toes. Plus, I also like Satan's design. 2) I sincerely think it was either a) the missing daemon or b) In agreeance with @mariah (rainy day dreams) Jess. I'm especially leaning towards Jess right now, cause this whole situation screams betrayal to me. There was too much ominous warnings about humans sucking. As for motive, I also think it was to trigger Billie's transformation, cause like, Billie clearly needed some inspiration there. As for what will happen if Billie finds the culprit, probably go overboard trying to hurt them, get stopped by Zeke, and then cry and cry cause no amount of revenge brings people back from the dead. ;_;

3) My favorite character is definitely Zeke. I like I don't know whether I should trust Zeke or not. Not that I think he's done anything bad persay. But I think he's been brainwashed/biased towards daemons so much he'd turn a blind eye to awful shit they do. And I like that despite his seeming toughness, there is this underlying vulnerability to him where I feel like he gets easily taken advantage of. Long story short though, he has a lot of complicated and interesting dynamics that I like. 4) The daemon who disappeared is probably up to no good. Maybe they're some sort of spy for the angels and they left to report that whoops, it seems another hybrid has awoken. Either way, I am waiting for some sort of bombshell hear that vindicates Billie's opinion that daemon's can't be trusted and that she should convince the other hybrids of this as well.

5) My favorite illustrations are Billie's transformation/de-transformation scenes. Love the facial expressions in those moments, cause you can really feel Billie's pain. I also love just like the effects and how the transformation is shown in steps in a way. It makes the whole thing look really gruesome without needing to be super graphic. So even without Billie's expressions, I cringe everytime thinking how I would never want that to happen to me ever in a million years. 6) I feel like the story, at least so far, says that destiny isn't great when it's just handed to us. I really like the irony that, right before Billie finds out she has some grand destiny, she was complaining that she wanted it. But the story really turned that on its head immediately and showed us and Billie that nah, destiny can kind of suck and you're probably not gonna get a destiny you expect or want. And that at the end, we are dealt circumstances in life and have to make our own destiny. I feel like Billie is, down the road, gonna give up her pursuit of a normal college life. I feel like Billie is gonna discover that college is pointless if you don't actually have an aim with it, and will instead find new pursuits. Not necessarily with the daemon's, but new pursuits none-the-less. Although I kind of feel like she's gonna end the war first, but we'll cross that bridge later. XD

snuffysam

I really really like Billie. Like finding out you were born to be a soldier and are "special" among your peers may be comforting to some people, but completely rejecting it is a natural reaction too. Like sure, she doesn't have many friends, but that isn't enough to reject her humanity. And why would she want to fight in a war she just found out about? It's why I also really hope that Billie just keeps trying to stay on her path to a good college, even if she's pushed away. Like why should Satan get a say in her life?

Jess is pretty suspicious, especially with that symbol in her house, but on that same page I also see a bunch of moving boxes. Maybe this house used to belong to Zeke's partner or someone else aligned with the daemons?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I second Rebel, Satan's design is great I'm looking forward to more of her. 5. I really liked the page that showed the goddess pulling her body apart and all the different worlds spilling out. I thought it was a super cool way to show the idea of multiverse creation. The De-transformafion page was also very cool. Like Rebel said, it was really effective at showing how painful switching between forms is.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Who do you think Billie’s father is considering he was not unknown when Billie first arrived? Do you think Billie will meet him? If she does meet him, what do you think will happen? How will having a father in her life affect her given her mother is gone?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

7. I enjoyed watching the development of Billie and Zeke's relationship so far. I like seeing characters stuck together in less than great circumstances move past that and start to get along with each other. I'm looking forward to seeing how their relationship continues to develop.

snuffysam

Yeah I second mariah on that dynamic. Like, Zeke starts out kinda annoyed by Billie and Billie doesn't like the idea of following Zeke, but they have no choice but to move past that. And that leads to a lot of interesting interactions.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

8. I feel like Billie's dad is someone important. Honestly, I wouldn't be super surprised if he was like, the Apollyon or something. But I could also just see him being an influential warrior or something. Assuming he isn't dead, I figure he'll show up at some point. Or at least I hope he does. I feel like it's one thing to keep having female daemons and hybrids talk about the whole breeding program, but I for one really want to hear an actual participant answer for it. I feel like Billie would, rightfully so, have a lot of anger towards her father. I for sure don't see them having any kind of parent-child relationship the way Billie and her mom did, but honestly I don't imagine he really wants one given that he didn't stick around to be in her life up until this point. But yeah, if the two of them do end up meeting, I'm really looking forward to what I can only assume will be a good, drama filled, "I want answers!" time

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Why do you think the war between the angels and the daemons started? Do you think the hybrids can tip the balance? Also, what do you think the angels are like compared to the daemons? Lastly, is violence the only answer here?

RebelVampire

7) I am thirding the sentiment that I like seeing Billie and Zeke interact the most. I find their dynamic to be super intriguing, especially during the scene where Zeke completely bashes down Billie's biased view of how every hybrid's life was. I feel like we're going to see a lot more of that where they both challenge each other's world view, and I love when characters do that for each. 8) From the reaction, I can only assume Billie's dad is a high rank. Maybe the former Satan or something. But assuming he's alive, yes. I will weep if the two of them don't meet, cause that is so much drama potential. And I also picture it being like an unexpected meeting where someone is like "BTW BILLIE THIS YO DAD." But I really think it needs to happen, not just for story drama, but because I feel it'll be important to Billie's emotional development as a whole. Especially as she probably discovers her father is not super evil, but instead a lot like her. And I feel that's gonna give Billie lots of things to think about in regards to how she views everything again.

9) I really like the details paid towards power balances. I love this concept that the daemon's have super forms, but it comes at a cost and is super duper painful. I love when stories pay attention to make sure those sorts of things have actual consequences. So you don't have to pull a LOTR moment later and ask why they didn't just use the eagles use the super forms. 10) I feel like the war probably started due to a misunderstanding more than anything. Cause I feel when we meet angels, were gonna find out they view events as totally different than how daemon's see it. And probably it doesn't even matter how it started. It might be one of those things where its so old, nobody remembers. All they remember is grrr angry grrrr. I actually don't think the hybrids are gonna tip the balance that much tbh. Not to say they won't be effective for a time, but I think the angels will easily come up with a counter. What I do think the hybrids will provide is a different non-grrr angry grrr perspective. Where they can sit both parties down and slap sense into them for being stupid. And I think it has to be them since they are humans at the same time they're part daemon.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

10. I agree with Rebel for pretty much all of this X') I feel like it's like in the Great Divide episode of Avatar the with the two feuding clans where they both have slightly different stories for how the feud started but it was so long ago fighting is just tradition at this point. I don't see the hybrids tipping the favor so much as complicating things. Like, part of me does kind of hope Billie just rallies all the hybrids into a third faction but also I'm kind of hoping for angel hybrids. I feel like when we do finally meet angels they're going to just as complex and grey as the deamons are compared to the classic idea of what an angel is. I don't think it's too far of a reach for them to also have had the same hybrid idea. And I'm also kind of hopeful that there'll be some half-daemon half-angels XD that's probably just my inner 7-grade oc maker talking, but I think more types of hybrids generally speaking would be cool. I could totally see a twist where the war was actually sparked by a Romeo-Juliet style deamon-angel romance that's been covered up for thousands of years. I don't think that violence is the only solution and I definitely second the feeling that hybrids could actually be the key to opening up diplomacy. For the moment that seems like things are still too tense for talking so I'd imagine there will be more violence to come before the characters reach that point.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Given what we find out about Zeke’s past history, what do you think life was like for some of the other hybrids? Do you think Billie will meet these other hybrids, and if so, how might that change her world view?

mariah (rainy day dreams)

11. I think the writing does a really good job at building suspense and tension. Like I said in one of my first responses, I'm super paranoid that any of these characters surrounding Billie could be about to stab her in the back.

RebelVampire

11) I'm gonna second Mariah a bit here. I think the comic really shines with suspense and how you really don't know any characters real intents. Like I want to trust Zeke and Satan and all the others. But I don't know if I should cause Billie's life has basically already shown to be 90% a lie in a lot of ways. But this creates a really tense read cause at any moment, whoops, maybe betrayal. 12) Honestly, I think most of the hybrids probably had a much shittier childhood than Billie. If not just for the fact being a single parent is hard and just frankly not everyone can do it. Although I'm sure there's at least one other hybrid who probably had a good childhood, maybe even a step family. And if such a hybrid exists, I think they could play a big role in showing Billie daemons aren't so bad. I do think Billie is inevitably going to meet them though, and find out that there's a lot of reasons to go around about why humans suck. And I think Billie will have to tackle some real world issues that there are worse issues out there than not having friends at school.

Q @CecilieQMT making WAYFINDERS

1. I liked Billie's transformation scene a lot. That pain felt real. I also quite like the explanations scenes; the ones that explain aspects of demon-angel politics or how the worlds work. That stuff is easy to mess up, but it works fine here, I think! 2. I think since Billie suspects Satan and her goons, it probably wasn't them. The culprit is whom you would least suspect, right? Perhaps it was Billie herself, accidentally? Or a third party we have yet to even meet? 3. Currently, I quite like Billie. She has some good reactions to the problems around her. Also like the blond lady, even though she's very over-the-top. She seems fun! 4. I'm not sure about this one, sorry. ^^' 5. I actually super liked the gag comic of Zeke's magical girl transformation.... but also I really liked Billie in the bathroom with the surprise from-above angle. Very fun! 6. I don't think Billie will get to do normal college life at all. I think she has been thrust on her hero's journey and that's what we're gonna see from now on. She won't have time to balance the two lives at all, is my prediction.

7. I mean, Satan is great to watch interact with anyone. She's so fun, but you sense there might be something hiding under the surface. I like her the best in relations of all the other characters. 8. Billie's dad was probably the former Satan, right? Or at least her former watch-daemon. There's gonna be some complicated feelings when she meets him (and she will meet him) for sure. I predict some yelling from Billie's side. 9. Billie's train of thought-passages makes a lot of sense to me and cements her uncertainty in all this. I hope that style will continue, because there's something lovely about reading the "I can't trust anyone" and knowing where that feeling comes from in Billie and how that affects her. 10. So, I was thinking, since this seems to anchor itself in the humans' myth... Is Lucifer, aka the first Satan, a big player here? They say "an angel started trouble", but what if that angel was Lucifer and what they did was turn sides or do like an angel genocide or something? I think both sides have hybrids and it's only a matter of time before we meet more. I think the demons have ulterior motives and the angels are just as human as the demons are; normal when they need to be, scary when they want to be. No. Violence is never the answer. Except in Lord of the Rings.

11. I think the world building is nice and thought out. We've seen "angels vs demons" before, but this comic has built some structure around that premise, which I think works nicely. 12. I think Zeke is right and Billie is one of the lucky ones. I can't imagine hybrids having easy lives. And if we look at, say, the blonde girl, who is probably a hybrid, she seems very untethered and possibly troubled. I think Billie will definitely meet more hybrids and I think they'll all have individual perspectives, which will be interesting to read about.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think Billie will find companionship and understanding in the human world, or was Satan right about her inevitably return to the daemons’ world? What events do you think will influence her choices? Do you think Billie can trust Satan?

RebelVampire

13) I am looking forward most to finding out who Billie's dad is. As I said earlier, that's gonna be some fun and interesting drama, as well as character growth moments for Billie. So I intend to thoroughly enjoy it when that happens. 14) I think Billie could find companionship among humans, but not right at this very second. I think there's a lot more character growth she has to go through, including returning to the daemons, before she is properly able to pursue any form of companionship. As for events, I think it's gonna be betrayal and the overall realization event Billie will have that she doesn't really have a concrete life direction any more. And thus she'll go on the journey that allows her most able to self discover her purpose in life. I think Billie can trust Satan in some regards, but not every regard. Like I trust Satan enough not to let Billie die, but I don't trust Satan to tell Billie the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Daemon this week! Please also give a special thank you to Akreampuff (Alyce Sarich) for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Daemon, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

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[choosingmylife]

Memories (Jake x MC)

as So, I tried this earlier and I did it and I thought it was great and I was proud of it and then Tumblr said BITCH YOU THOUGHT! and it was gone so...yeah. I’m going to try and rewrite it the same way as before but whatever. It’s pretty long because I got started and couldn’t stop and it just rode away from me. Enjoy you lovely people!

Some lines are directly from Pixelberry’s Choices: Stories You Play, and there are characters from there as well, if this is how you do this credit thing. (please don’t sue me. it’d be pointless anyway cause im a broke college student so...)

Warning, I almost cried writing it so, maybe keep some tissues nearby? Whatever works for you. Anyway, here ya go.

God, he was stupid. So incredibly stupid. How could he let Mike talk him into this? Better yet, how could he even consider going through with it?

But he had, at least enough to be standing here, just past the front door of the local bar he and Mike frequent. He’d wanted to meet in a place he felt comfortable in and he figured a place where all the employees knew his name would be a good one. So this is where he’d told Mike to set up his date.

Yeah, his date.

He wanted to turn around and walk back out the door, away from this date he hadn’t really wanted, away from the music that always played just a little too loudly for his liking. He should go home, down ten out of the twelve beers in his fridge (because you need one, or two, to chase the pain pill for the hangover the next morning) and fight against the memories he always worked so hard to forget. 

Just as he turned to leave, a voice called out to him and stopped him in his tracks.

“Jake?”

He slowly turned back and located the source of the sound. It wasn’t hard, she was practically standing on a bar stool and was waving, frantically, at him.

“Jake! Over here!” she called and he let out a slow breath. She’d seen him, called for him, and he’d responded, so he very well couldn’t leave now. 

He walked over to her and she leaned forward to hug him, her vibrant red hair falling over her shoulder and onto his. He caught the smell of it, a plain soap kind of smell, and he longed for a mix of sweat, outdoors, and honey to fill his senses. But it’d been a long while since the last time that particular scent had been in the air and he’d never smell it again. 

“I’m so glad you could make it,” she says as she pulls back and sits back in her bar stool.

“Yeah, thanks for coming...Kathryn, right?” he asks and she nods.

“Most people call me Kat, but yeah, that’s me,” she replies, lifting both thumbs towards herself briefly before setting them back on the table.

“Alright, Kat it is, then,” he says and they both fall into an awkward silence. Jake isn’t sure where to go from here, other than to high tail it back to his lonely, one bedroom apartment. 

While they sit, both looking everywhere but each other, out of the corner of his eye, Jake sees her raise one hand to her face and her thumb goes into her mouth. A simple, nervous gesture, but one that hits his heart so painfully and provokes a memory that slams into his mind.

“I don’t know about this, Jake. It just seems like everything is going to-”

“Stop worrying, Princess. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise,” Jake assures her, but it doesn’t ease the worry lines from her face. She turns from him, putting her thumb to her mouth and biting it as she starts to pace. 

Jake walks to her, putting one hand on her waist to still her and using the other hand to gently pull her finger from her mouth. “I’ll take care of you, okay? Nothing’s gonna happen to you, or any of our friends. You’ve got to relax.”

She turns her head to him and frowns, “And who’s going to look after you?”

He scoffs, “I’m invincible, Princess. Nobody’s gonna get to me unless I want ‘em to. Now quit all of that worryin’, or you’ll get wrinkles on that gorgeous face and I’ll have to swap you out for someone else.”

She rolls her eyes, but smiles despite herself. She playfully hits his chest, “You couldn’t get rid of me, even if you wanted to.”

He pulls her against him, her body molding into his as if it was always meant to be there. “Like I’d ever want to,” he mutters, laying a kiss on her lips and enjoying the sigh that falls out of her mouth. If her lips and that sound were the last things he’d experience in this world, he’d die a happy man.

“Jake?” Kat’s voice brings Jake back to the present. 

He shakes his head to clear it and forces a smile onto his face, “Sorry, were you saying something?”

Kat nods, biting her lower lip. “Yeah, I just asked if you wanted to get something to drink.”

He looks away, towards the bar and the line of bottles on the shelves. He wants a drink, badly, to chase away the demons of the past, but he knows if he starts he won’t be able to stop. 

“No, I’m alright,” he tells her and she signals for the waitress, who comes and takes the order before leaving them alone again.

Kat takes in a deep breath, “So, you and Mike are friends?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

She nods and drums her fingers on the table top. She speaks again, another question, “Are you guys close?”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbles as the waitress comes back with Kat’s drink.

Kat takes a long sip and Jake glances at the way her throat moves as she drinks, an enticing sight that would have any guy wanting to kiss or lick it for hours. But Jake wasn’t just any guy and the very thought of being intimate with anyone else made him feel nauseous. Still, the movement didn’t leave him unaffected, at least not in the way it should have, and he tries to fight it, but another memory forces its way into his head.

“You gotta try this, Princess. Raj found it the other day and it tastes amazing!”

She looks apprehensively at the item in Jake’s hand and shakes her head. The fruit, or what he assumes is fruit, has a solid brown exterior, with prickly hairs poking out of it all over. Jake has cut the fruit in two and she can see the soft, purple inside. It’s not like any fruit she’d seen and on this island, there was no telling what could happen if she ate it. But Jake seems so excited about it...

After a moment, she groans, “If this kills me, tell everyone I died heroically. Make it a way better story than this.”

“Stop being so dramatic and just eat it already,” he demands and she grabs one piece to bring it to her mouth.

Just before she opens and places it inside, she freezes and looks at Jake, “But what if-”

“Just eat it!” he exclaims, pushing the piece into her mouth. He watches her face scrunch up as a sourness hits her taste-buds and then shifts to pleasure when a sweetness takes over. 

“Mm! That’s so good!” she manages to say, mouth full of the sweet fruit. She says something else, but Jake doesn’t hear it. His eyes are focused on a trail of purple juice that’s falling down her chin and to her throat. He can imagine how it would taste, a mix of sweet nectar and saltiness from the sweltering heat. He wanted so badly to lean down, lick and suck the liquid away until the purple turned to red, marking her as his for everyone to know.

“Jake?” she says, concern in her voice. He glances into her big, brown eyes before zoning back in on the trail of purple that has now slipped down to the top of her chest. The look in his eyes makes her gasp.

“No, Jake. We can’t! Our friends are literally right behind those trees,” she hisses and points, but he only grins as he pulls her to him.

“Then I guess we gotta be real quiet, Princess,” he whispers before he descends onto her throat. She moans and grasps at his hair, neither one really caring if anyone actually heard them.

A glass slamming onto the table brings Jake back this time. He looks at Kat and sees her mouth in a tight line, knuckles white as she holds the glass on the table.

“I’m sorry, Kat. Really. I just...” he trails off and, after a second of staring at him, she relaxes. 

“I understand. I’m not her. I can see it in your eyes. Whoever you’re missing, I’m not her,” she says and his eyes widen in shock.

“But... how did you...?”

She moves to stand, grabbing a jacket he hadn’t seen hanging on the back of her stool and putting it on. “I don’t think this is going to work out, Jake. But, can I say something?” she asks and he nods.

“Let it go. Let her go. Whatever you have to do, because what you’re doing now? It’s not healthy. From what Mike’s told me about you, which isn’t a whole lot, you deserve to be happy. Living in the past only makes you miserable. Move on, Jake.”

He sits in stunned silence as she walks past him, only stopping to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and leaves the bar. He ponders over her words, knows the truth in them, but it isn’t as simple as she makes it seem. He can’t just let her go and move on. And he wasn’t miserable, not really. He just missed her. A lot. All of the time.

Sighing deeply, he gets out a couple of bills and throws them on the high table before he exits out of the front door. He decides to walk home, needing the fresh air to help him calm down and think, to get himself together. 

Except, with the thinking comes the memories. And it doesn’t help that everywhere he looks, he’s reminded of her in some way. Each memory running in before the previous one can even finish.

Like the song that plays as he leaves the bar, one that happens to have been her favorite song. “I love it so much! It’s definitely on my list of top ten favorite songs,” she tells him. He’s only half listening to her, but, before he knows it, she takes his hand and pulls him up. She starts swaying to the beat of no music and it takes everything inside of him not to kiss her. God, he should kiss her. “Dance with me, Top Gun. I know you’ve got moves.” He smirks. “Oh I’ve got moves, Princess. Just not one’s for the dance floor.” He winks at her and takes pride in the way her cheeks blush a pretty red at his words. If that’s all it takes to make that happen, then he wondered just how far that blush could go when the heat got turned up....

Or the kids laughing with their parents as they leave the family restaurant across the street. “Have you ever thought about having a family?” she asks, her brown hair splayed across his arm as her head lays on his chest. “No, I never thought it was in the cards for me,” he says and she sits up in bed, the cover falling off of her just enough to torture him. “Do you think it might be in the cards now? With me?” Jake looks at her barely covered chest and grins, “If it means I get to see what’s under that blanket a hell of a lot more than I absolutely think it is now.” And he leans up to pull her back down to him, a chorus of giggles hitting his ears as he tickles her....

And a faint smell of flowers as he passes a park reminds him of the day they had their hand-fasting ceremony. She had looked stunning that day and he couldn’t wait to tear that dress off of her, almost deciding to do it right then and there, ceremony and crowd of people be damned. He also remembered his promise to her, told as he stared into the eyes he would spend the rest of his life gladly drowning in. “Being with you is everything to me...I’m not half the man a true Princess deserves, but I’m gonna give it all I got and then some. With a little luck, maybe we can land this thing somewhere near ‘happily ever after’.” He couldn’t believe all the luck he’d already had just to win her heart, hell, to have met her at all. But he would spend a life time showing just how thankful he was for all of that luck.

The wind picks up as he walks, stinging his eyes and ruffling his hair. The chilly night air brings him back to that night, the night he lost her, and he tries to contain the tears that threaten to fall. “There’s something else.” A beat. “I c-can complete the Island’s Heart...by giving myself to it. The world would go back to normal...but Vaanu and I will be gone forever.” She looks so broken, so scared. Jake’s heart is in his throat and anger wells inside of him. “Dammit, don’t you know I’d come after you? I’d find a way! Cross every mile of space to get you back! My heart is where you belong, not Vaanu’s.” The tears are there, in both of their eyes as she wraps him a hug. They both squeeze too tight but it doesn’t matter. Jake knows what she’s chosen, what will happen. He can already feel a hole ripping through his chest and going straight to his heart. How is he ever going to live without her?

Turns out, he couldn’t and with the assault of memories, each one more painful than the last, his legs give out and his knees hit the hard sidewalk. He is fully crying now, unable to stop the river as it pours out of him and it’s taking everything in him to stay vertical. He misses her so much, yearns for her every minute of every day. If he could have one minute, just one minute to see her beautiful face, to hold her in his arms, kiss her lips and remind himself of her taste as he is blessed with one of her soft sighs when their tongues tangle with each other. 

“Jake? Jake!” he hears Mike call out, but he doesn’t see him. His vision is too blurry and he doesn’t have the energy anymore. The memories took it, the pain a more than willing accomplice. Hands go under his arms and suddenly, he’s standing again and Mike is there, holding him up, holding him together.

“Jesus, man. What...what happened?” Mike grunts out as he half carries Jake to his apartment.

Jake doesn’t answer the question. “Phone,” he mumbles.

“What?”

“The phone, Mike.” 

Mike stops moving and looks at his friend, studying him. Jake had given him the phone a few months after they’d all gotten back, to keep it safe in case something happened and to keep Jake from obsessing over it day in and day out. It’d taken some begging and pleading to get to the agreement that Mike could have possession of the phone, until a time when Jake really needed it. Neither one of them knew what that meant or what they needed to look for to know, but it’d worked so far. Jake had moved on as much as he could, at least enough to bathe and get a job, and Mike considered that a win.

But right now, the way his friend looked, Mike knew it was time. He fished the phone out of his pocket and handed it over. Jake let out a breath of relief, like simply seeing the phone was enough to save him. He quickly navigated the phone to what he needed and held it up to his ear as they entered his apartment building.

“Jake, I promised you a year and a day, and I’m sorry I won’t be able to fulfill that vow. Part of me will be with you always....”

Jake closes his eyes as he listens to her sweet, melodic voice and replays it over and over. Oh how he wished she was here right now. He needs her, he needs her more than he could ever imagine. Why isn’t she here?

Mike walks him into his apartment and deposits him on the couch, shaking his head and sighing sadly at the state of his friend. He leaves him alone to do something, probably to find a more put together friend, one that isn’t cursed with a broken heart for the rest of time, Jake doesn’t know and doesn’t really care. He listens to the recording, playing it as the night turns into morning. The thought of what was and what could have been haunts him until he’s begging for a remedy from all of the pain. 

When will it stop hurting?

[wolfwhiteflowers]

s9 filming spoilers and speculations..... TWD RANTS

Timejump-capital /twd parade pics and Caryl-the skybound thing, & other-richonne. (this post is meh and confusing) 

*twd spoilers, comic spoilers, anti C/E

k so writing this long weird speculation and thoughts-post. I wanna like move on from the show. Like as usual it’s on hiatus ykno? But the s8 finale messed me up so much. And I wonder a lot about Carol and the ships. Unanswered questions. I guess I’m saying I’m gonna rant a lot...or I go big in this post. 

Now we’re getting filming spoilers. bits and pieces but s9 premiere is a big deal like because of the time jump. The time jump changes the story a lot right? So... just from spoilery things, I realized, it’s hitting me a lot that it’s so 50/50 on me for if I still like the show or not (with timejump, ships, different showrunner/writings, and who knows how TWD ends). 

I really don’t like how 50/50 that is. So shock value way? Anyways, this hiatus I guess is gonna be a really big roller coaster ride. :\ I feel more doubtful than hopeful about s9. ....I just want Carol to be in character (the way i see it) and I want Carol (anyone) to interact with team family more. Idk if I can trust the writers during the hiatus with some bits of spoilers because some arcs start off frustrating and end well. It’s like I also have to wait till they film the finale to know if I wanna watch s9. or it’s like I wait till s10 for an arc to end. Idk I’m bummed that it’s at that point for me to decide to quit or not. sigh stories.

Yeah so this reminds me of s8, where the biggest change to the show happened with Carl’s death for me and the fandom. So I(and like most people too apparently...show is still going) keep watching TWD because Carl’s death doesn’t bother me that much, I feel the writing is still fine, and I see it as Rick’s show. So ..idk what im saying. I just think if they screw up Carol’s character and her interactions, then I feel it’s pointless to keep watching the show. I want charactery bonds, interesting arcs, and parallels. I know TWD can still be fine, but s8′s bad finale ep made me doubtful on the writing (or editing...there were good deleted scenes in s8 finale). 

Time jump

Wow those pics of the cast at the capital and on horses. “twd parade” The pics also tells a lot or so what 9x01 will be like/time jump. It’s overwhelming. It got me excited and then I worry the show will suck and mess up my faves.

The time jump in 9x01 looked like not like Carl’s dream/5 years(?) where Rick had a cane, white hair, 6 yo Judy, and Negan gardening with TF. This time jump in s9 so far looked like one year went by. Also looked like the characters got one thing changed on them. Rick-short hair, Carol-hat, Jesus-manbun, etc.so it’s like it’s not that much of a time jump.

Oh man, I can’t help it but I want to compare TWD and The 100. (They’re different ofc, one’s pace is fast and more violent/survival-like. It’s also like it’s ok to watch more than one show even tho one is better or whatever. It’s frustrating tho T100 have way more interactions/girl power.) Both current survival-shows. Right now, The 100 just had a six year time jump(I think) and TWD in s9 there will be a time jump too. So The 100′s current season, I really liked how they did set up the time jump and informing us how the characters are doing and see the changes in them and their looks. Even their previous season, there was a good understanding foreshadowing to the time jump plot. ...TWD didn’t, I mean Idk why, it’s like easy writing they should’ve done..to keep fans interested to what’s next on the show. I noticed in The 100, is that there were flashbacks and bottled/centered episodes. It’s also quick but partly because The 100 have a short season too and the writers want to focus on the upcoming different plot.

Anyways, so now that I think it’s been like a year later in TWD story. My theories are like everywhere and changed. I’m also like being an annoying comic fan..wants to be exact way but it’s a show and they can remix stuff. Whatever, we all want good stories! It’s kinda following the comics like usual. ok. Time jump and whisperers are coming. Idk why, I’m really excited for ‘old man Rick’ hair cut and horses, when I’m like wtf Rick’s curls tho. lol  Also just..9 seasons...and do I still like the show and will I like what’s next based on comics? (I actually figured AOW in s7-8 would be boring or come off different in the show. It’s all battle scenes and comics goes quicker..Idk I figured it would be boring but I think the war story on show and comics did alright. It wasn’t like a boring action movie that I see most of the time with action movies :P So I think this arc in s9 people will like this. More charactery stuff, well based from the comics. But we don’t have Carl and Maggie(for certain)?... Yeah usual tv flaws.)

So, I think it’s just one year later and that’s it. Also, I don’t mind seeing flashbacks and bottle episodes, as long it’s done well and entertaining. I think in s9 bottle episodes are needed.

kids

So since I think it’s one year later, then we probably get the same Judith girl in s8, as 3 yo?, Hershel Jr as -months old, and I don’t think there will be a Richonne-baby...unless Michonne got pregnant right after the war and Hershel Jr and Richonne-baby are about the same age. 

Skybound mailbag/Caryl/ E&Z

I read some speculations and from C/E shippers, just to get more info on Carol. (I gotta stop that. I’ll know about Carol when I do and they’re really anti-Caryl. It’s annoying. ugh ship wars.) I realized from the spoilery pics and speculations, I just don’t want Carol with anyone or C/E in s9/s9A. I just want to know what’s up with Carol again. Unless Carol being with E is a very minor thing. Like in The 100 show where two times fans suddenly learn Bellamy has a gf. There was a time jump and the relationship’s build up and being canon was all offscreen. The relationship didn’t last or some other thing important was gonna happen. I just want to know what’s Carol’s thinking and feeling. Idk I just feel if C/E happens,I just feel like Idk Carol anymore. :\ Idk what Caryl is anymore. They’re best friends (crushes) right...and still is? I really don’t like in s8 finale where Carol didn’t talk to any TF member/Daryl about why she wants to stay at Kingdom. Just any moment to see TF knows too. Also, Idk if Daryl is staying at ASZ or Hilltop and does Rick knows Daryl doesn’t agree with his decision on Negan.

(lil post on twdzone. carol/and show stuff)

‘If C/E happens like a - a surprise ship in s9. I find it bad writing because they didn't set it up in s8 or should add more romantic tone in it and obviously put a C/E moment in the finale. But they didn't. So..bad writing. Or just idk maybe it's for plot reasons (E’s death). Maybe there will be a love triangle? It makes Carol out of character or strange for me. Who/What does Carol care about and why? Idk.

 It’s also something that TWD has to do too...from s8 finale and time jump/season premiere it means s9 premier ep gotta be a very well written episode to explain to everything and well reasons. But man...the s8 finale was so wacky and frustrating. It made me lose hope on the writers. I did like s8B but wow finale wtf. And finale is important ep of the seasons..and also it was before the big time jump. sigh. //It reminds me something, it’s kind of TWD’s style or Gimple’s, that premieres are more important than finales. So I hope s9 premiere is good. So yeah if Caryl is just gonna be friends and also just gonna like nod at each other like they don't have that special (continuity) bond anymore. Then that show is over for me. It's also not Caryl’s connections too, I miss Carol’s connections with Team family so much! OMG just looking at Carol and Rick edits, I just sigh.. I know some don't like their relationship. But I like theirs and they got that history, interesting dynamic. I don't wanna see Carol and Rick like they're just acquaintances now. (um like remember their history and trying to save Sophia. etc.) I want Carol or anyone to interact and be team family. The show gotta focus on their main characters and interact them. Too many side characters...too many separations.’

Other

Once I thought about this idea, I’m like gaaah I really hope TWD does this. I really want and hope Rick have these moments to remember Carl by and to do it every season. I really like this idea I have where Rick could write a letter to Carl or talk to Carl’s grave in every season premier/finale. It’s something that merge the old TWD and the new TWD story...even though it’s Rick’s show, it’s still a father and son show.

Richonne!

I have some speculations and thoughts. I just wanna say that I hope Richonne in s9 is more interesting than comic R&A in the comics in the point of the story. Just be like on the show, power couple and all. I really like how in s8 finale, they were like co-leaders. Together. Idk I’m curious how Richonne will go in s9 and on. It’s seems real different than in the comics/R&A are doing. 

So, in the comics, Andrea was like focusing on protecting Carl and co-leading etc. and then she dies at the end of Whisperer war. I find her death and end of her journey boring and disappointing. So Idk, I hope Michonne’s journey is interesting and I have no clue how this comic-Michonne and/or Andrea remix thing works out since Carol is using comic-Michonne’s too. %) Anyways, so I don’t think Michonne will die like comic-Andrea because tv-Carl got the death. After the Andrea’s death, Rick bonded and grieved with Mikey (Carl’s friend) while Carl is at Hilltop adulting. From the comics, I felt like Kirkman wished he had Rick and Andrea to have a child together but he didn’t so he got Mikey more into the story and w/Rick. So I’m like maybe we will get a Richonne-baby? But, then I also thought maybe Judith is like comic-Mikey. Grimes 2.0 grieving and missing Carl. So yeah.. I’m suspecting Richonne won’t have child together or at least in s9. From the twd parade pics, Idk, I don’t think there will be a baby. I really hope they do someday though.

 Another thing is, I really want Judith to call Michonne “Mom” and Rick to point out to people that Michonne is his wife.  

So yeah, roller coaster.

[trashkweeen-blog]

Drinking and Dating - Brandi Glanville

As I was gearing up to read this book, and gathering my deeply intellectual thoughts on the 17 chihuahuas in a human suit that is Brandi Glanville, I was like, oh good, I love Brandi. Sweet pizza-throwing Brandi. She spills the tea, this should be good in a trainwreck sort of way. 

I mean, I have to say that I was squarely in the Brandi camp for a moment in time - a Dream Team fan, if you will. She really won me over at Game Night. You know, that desperate attempt by Dana to be part of the show. Ugh, Dana. Dana was like The Silence from Doctor Who. Not because she was silent - oh no, if she was within shouting distance you’d hear about her sunglasses and how much they cost. No, because the second you turn around, your memory of her is completely wiped. I had to google both her actual name and the name Kim kept calling her because she couldn’t remember Dana’s name either (it was Pam). 

Anyways. Game Night at Pam’s was not a cute look for Kim and Kyle Richards, or as I like to think of them, Baby Jane and Blanche Hudson in the lead up to the accident that will eventually leave Kyle bound in a chair while Kim feeds her rats and writes letters to daddy. You may remember Game Night as the night when Kim hobbled in super late, took her trenta coffee cup filled with mashed up pills into the bathroom, and proceeded to do her hair and makeup, with Kyle intermittently popping in to both tell her she’s being weird, and to be weird. 

You may also remember Game Night as the night when Brandi accused Kim of doing crystal meth in the bathroom, and then Kim and Kyle hid Brandi’s crutches so she couldn’t stand up or walk. I’m citing this as exhibit 1 in Kim’s latent Baby Jane persona, just waiting in the wings. 

Point is, Kim and Kyle were pacing the room like lunatics, pointing their withered fingers at Brandi, and calling her such chill things as “slut pig”. Poor Brandi, NEW TO THIS GROUP, and being called a pig by the witch character from that Nightmare VHS board game from the 90s:

(shit, do you guys remember that?)

Brandi, with the fearlessness of an Amazon warrior queen, looked up, unblinking, unflinching, and calmly said, “Bring it, bitch, color me slut”. And Kim and Kyle were shook. I live for anyone who shakes Kyle. 

I also really loved when Lisa Vanderpump demanded an olive branch from her, and Brandi legit yanked a branch off of one of LVP’s trees, handed it to her, and then said, “what do you want me to do, eat your pussy?” Iconic. 

Admittedly, Brandi lost me a little by Season 5, when she developed a super co-dependent relationship with Kim, where they each made it a fun hobby to enable the other’s worst behaviour. Brandi decided she was gonna replace Kyle, which like, unless you’ve endured years of Big Kathy pushing you into show biz and gold digging bad marriages, then no, you can’t. You don’t have the range. 

But i was intrigued nonetheless, eager enough to dig into Brandi’s second book, which I read out of chronological order for the very academic reason that it was available first at the library. 

And it started off pretty strong. Brandi lovingly told us about the HPV her cheating trash ass ex husband gave her, called Leann Rimes a cunt, shaded her album sales, blamed Adrienne Maloof for her own shitty marriage, and called bullshit on the concept of scorned ex wives. Overall, great shit. Loved it. I was like yesssssss preach through a lot of it. 

Then Brandi delved into her dating advice, and girl, she was feeling her Carrie Bradshaw oats at every turn. I could basically picture her, smoking at her window, wearing a tutu, and gazing forlornly at the Chair that Aiden Made™. Which, like, all the Aiden apologists in the world need to get over. Aiden was trash. He tried to force Carrie into a boring ass engagement, pulling her away from interesting parties with porn producers, so she could like, watch him eat fried chicken in his gross underwear at 10pm???? 

The only good thing Aiden ever did was keep Carrie home when she could have been out making comments like this to her friends. A real service to her friends, who had to pretend to laugh at her idiotic jokes because she always got them tickets to cool stuff. 

Aaaaanyways. Brandi Glanville is no Carrie Bradshaw, and if she were, I’d really prefer if she’d been the Carrie Bradshaw whose computer crashes before she learns how to backup her writing. 

Drinking and Dating is a combination of bad dating advice, very personal child custody beef with her ex husband (yeah, I know his name, I just don’t care enough to type it, he sucks), and blind items about the “celebrities” she’s banged. 

Apparently, she wanted to list these celebrities by name, and her publishers wouldn’t let her, for fear of being sued. And honestly, Brandi being sued is not a saga I want to watch. She was personally outraged enough when her Celebrity Big Brother alliance member Keshia Knight wanted to leave the house in order to BREASTFEED HER INFANT, so I don’t wanna know how ugly Brandi gets when she’s got, like, actual problems. 

So, first things first, here’s some bad dating advice from Brandi Glanville:

pick up guys at Home Depot! Apparently, it is filled with “manly men” who want to turn women into housewives. If you roam the electrical aisle, you can “have your pick of Home Depot’s most eligible bachelors”. I hate this so much, I can’t even fully articulate it. This is by far the worst dating advice I have ever heard, and I read Class with the Countess. 

If a guy has a criminal record, but also a private jet, only the latter fact is important. Like, if the assault charges and restraining order have been dropped, and he tells you his ex girlfriend was batshit crazy, it’s safe to assume everything’s kosher here, and you can proceed to fly around on his jet, where no one can hear you scream.

dump a guy if his idea of an epic party is at Brendan Fraser’s condo. I AM SORRY BUT if I had the chance to party at Brendan Fraser’s condo, I would skip my own father’s funeral. Like, yeah he’s kinda fat and weird now, but if you close your eyes, imagine him at his peak, and make him say “George love Ursula”, you could probably still come while he lazily rails you. And you owe it to your thirsty 1997 self.

But, I guess if you’re at a point in your life where relationship advice from Brandi Glanville seems appealing, it’s too late for me to reach you. Have fun at Home Depot. 

I’m skipping the parts about whether Brandi’s trash ass ex husband is boycotting her relationship with her children by not letting them bring nice clothes to her house and whatever else. Cause it’s too dark, and I’m not here to contribute to the psychotic breaks any real housewives children may have when they start comprehending their parents’ exploits. 

What I will talk about is the series of dating stories Brandi “coyly” relates, using cute little pseudonyms for her bang buddies. Yeah, you could comb through the 2010-2011 NBA season team roster stats to figure out who the 6′11″ suitor was, but like, who cares honestly? If it wasn’t even interesting enough for the paps, it’s not interesting enough to sleuth for. 

The only one that caught my attention really, was the mid 90s TV star who was out with his more conventionally attractive co-star at the time. I do believe this to be David Schwimmer and Matt LeBlanc, so do with that what you will. (But I will say that if I had to fuck anyone from the core Friends group, it would be Ross. If we’re going outside the core group, it’s gotta be Paolo for some of that patented “meaningless animal sex”.)

Overall, this book was a fucking labor to get through; it was rough. I downloaded the audiobook so that I could listen to it while walking to work and on the treadmill, and yeah, that kinda made it easier to digest, but it also meant I had to listen to Brandi’s dog whistle of a voice for several hours. 

I can’t decide what was more irritating about this book, the 7,000 hashtags used throughout, or the mind-numbing minutia of things like what grocery store Brandi prefers and why. (PS, remember when Ramona Singer thought minutia was a Yiddish word, and was probably visualizing it spelled “menusha”? Bless.)

Given the choice, I’d rather go to the Van Kempens’ housewarming party, where they didn’t serve food even though it was at 8pm, than read another chapter of Brandi’s tales. 

Quick Stats:

Pages: 242

Did it need to be that many pages?: Ugh, absolutely not. There were times I zoned out during the audiobook, or just got up to pee and stopped listening for a few minutes, and I feel I did not miss anything. 

Did it change my mind about the housewife?: Honestly, it made me hate her more, but that could be because listening to Brandi Glanville’s voice for several hours straight is a form of torture used at Guantanamo. 

Real-ass book rating: 📖/5. This book was awful. It was so terrible. It had no structure, and was just a series of long, unedited, pointless stories, punctuated with bad hashtags.

Junk food book rating: 💎/5. Idk, like if you wanna hear about how Brandi banged an unnamed NBA player in a car in an alley, or how she had to sleep off her wine at some unnamed actor’s house because she couldn’t get her breathalyzer ignition to start in her car after she banged him, I guess the book is like somewhat amusing. But if you’ve ever listened to a middle aged woman complain about her kids’ stepmom for any length of time, you know it’s not worth it. 

[whitlockienterprisespresents]

I kinda hated ‘The Last Jedi’

I know a lot of people have said as much already, and normally I avoid negativity on this blog. But I saw it a couple of weeks ago and it’s still bothering me. I gotta purge. Spoilers, obviously:

Look, the whole scene with the bombers and everything was objectively cool action (and the stuff with Paige and her eventual death was top-notch, I felt the weight of that), but basic entertainment aside, it was dumb as Hell. Why would you have those insanely slow-moving bombers, with their incredibly unsafe and idiotic set-up, and not even any shields to compensate? Why wouldn’t you get something with a nice compact missile that you can fire at range? How did they even get their bombers over to the Dreadnought before the Dreadnought deployed fighters to shoot the bombers down? There’s no element of surprise when your ships move at a fucking snail’s pace. Who cares if you took out the Dreadnought’s exterior guns when they have individual fighters to blast you with anyway? How were those slow as fuck bombers supposed to get away back to the main fleet after dropping their payload? Everything about the Resistance battle plan here was moronic, and the First Order’s failure to stop them anyway was illogical.

Normally, battle tactics wouldn’t bother me so much, but they used the Pyrrhic victory with the bombers as a reason to get Poe demoted. He obviously did not formulate that entire basic-ass battle strategy on his own, so the Resistance leadership should be slapping and demoting themselves for that, not blaming the Commander who flew the mission. Poe not calling off the attempt after he took just sliiightly longer to take out the Dreadnought’s surface cannons doesn’t actually change the fact that the battle plan was idiotic to start with. If they had retreated when Leia said, and I were the First Order, I’d have sent out fighters (or just used the cannons on one of the other ships) to blast those slow-ass bombers outta the sky anyway. They were super slow, guys. You can’t just ‘oops, abort’ those back to the fleet in an instant. The bombers were sitting ducks, essentially on a suicide run to start with. That ain’t Poe’s fault, that’s the entire Resistance’s dumbfuck fault. The fact that he ignored orders is still on him, but when the whole situation is so transparently manufactured for idiotic drama, that kinda steps on the message.

Leia engaging in the ancient and odious trope of ‘woman slaps man to express her distaste for his masculine antics’ is gross. She’s a fucking General, it makes her look bad to be ineffectually slapping faces. Delete this.

I totally expected to hate Poe in ‘The Force Awakens’ coz I thought he’d be the usual cliche insufferable ‘cocky hotshot pilot’. I was delighted when he was competent without being an egotistical wanker about it. The shoddy attempt to tell some half-assed ‘toxic masculinity’ story by making him into a hothead in this movie is basically character assassination (not to mention kinda racist to play that ‘hothead Latino’ cliche?), and I am not here for it.

Leia Force-floating her way back to the ship was really embarrassing. Also, having never had her use the Force so overtly in the past, something as significant as this felt out-of-the-blue. Her prior Force use has mostly been passive connection to others over vast distances, going from that to ‘oh yeah also I’ma Mary Poppins through space’ was a lot to swallow. But my main problem was just that it looked stupid. For all its flaws, this movie was mainly very visually impressive, and this was a low moment.

Where are all the other pilots we met in ‘The Force Awakens’? Are they dead? Is every side character we met just unceremoniously dead?

Also do not approve of the implicit suggestion that Poe doesn’t respect Holdo on sight (’not what I expected’) despite knowing of her credentials in past engagements. How does he not know this person who is high up on the Resistance roster, anyway? She’s a Vice-Admiral, and there’s not that many Resistance folks anyway, at least not on these few ships. Having a not-previously-sexist character respond poorly to new (specifically female) leadership just to service the aforementioned half-assed toxic masculinity plot is some bullshit. I fucking love dismantling toxic masculinity, don’t get me wrong, but they did it fucking badly here.

P.s. why is there a guy still on the med ship when it gets destroyed? He didn’t need to be there to steer it or anything, it was out of fuel and floating dead anyway. Why did they not fully evacuate. Why.

Look. Holdo was right to NOT tell Poe what’s going on just because he demanded to know, he is not actually entitled to the information. However, there is absolutely no good reason presented as to why she wouldn’t tell THE WHOLE FLEET what her plan was; when Leia says she was more interested in ‘keeping the light alive than in looking like a hero’, that’s a nice cushy sentiment, but you know how you keep the light alive? Hope. Keeping up morale. The Resistance spends almost the entire film just...flying...running out of fuel...nothing happening for hours...there’s really no sensible reason for Holdo NOT to let everyone know that there is a plan, there is hope, so hang in there. Poe is wrong to try and mutiny, obviously, but there is no logical plot reason for the narrative pushing him to that point. It’s not about whether or not Holdo capitulates to the aggressive demands of some guy, it’s about whether or not she keeps up morale by letting her own people know they’re not actually doomed. I don’t blame her for this as a character, I blame the shitty writing that is too busy trying to tell that aforementioned half-assed toxic masculinity plot. If your characters are all behaving illogically to service it, you’re not making much of a point. This shit was weak, and it reflected poorly on the characterisation of everyone involved.

Holdo and Leia talking about how they totally like Poe and whatever also weakens this whole plot. If your toxic-masculinity narrative ends with the women who have been wronged agreeing that they like the dude anyway (despite the fact that he committed treason?), you probably did it wrong. Also, they don’t know it yet, but Poe’s actions also get almost the entire Resistance wiped out due to exposing their escape plan, so, like. Cool guy. Yeah, I like him too. Coulda avoided all of this with some incredibly normal and expected level of information-sharing, but whatever. Poe is absolved and the attempted narrative thereby rendered useless. 

Holdo’s sacrifice, taking out the First Order ships? That shit was awesome, I won’t lie. Let the record show that Holdo was great, even if the story she was stuck in wasn’t. One complaint: what the fuck with this ‘Godspeed, rebels’ line? It sticks out like dog’s balls and it sucks. Stop trying to make ‘Godspeed, rebels’ a thing.

 Two complaints, actually: bad editing makes it seem like Holdo sat around for AGES before she enacted this plan, and that makes it seem like the First Order should have shot ALL of the transports well before she got the job done. Editing fucking fail.

MEANWHILE, Finn. Why is he barely in the movie? Why is he stuck in an asinine subplot that has no ultimate impact on the plot of the film whatsoever? Bullshit. One of the best, strongest, most dynamic characters from TFA, and they waste him on some pointless idiocy that does absolutely nothing with his character template. Nothing. Coulda replaced Finn with anyone in this subplot. Better yet, replace the SUBPLOT.

If Finn and Rose could jump ship easy-peasy like that, why did the Resistance not have most of their people jump ship in the same way? They coulda dispersed all over the place and regrouped later, or at least sent out messengers to get help (or...runners...for fuel?) instead of keeping everyone in the same place to be shot at by the idiotic First Order (who could have done about a trillion other things besides just flying after some ships for eighteen straight hours. Why does no one in this movie know how to plan anything?). Kinda kills the non-existent suspense of having the Resistance stuck and running outta fuel, huh?

Rose deserved better than this useless subplot where her chief function is to exposition-dump about Canto Bight.

Just-so-happening to get locked in the same cell with a guy who has exactly the skills you’re looking for is an old cliche, not a good one, but it feels extra weak and convenient here because it’s so late in the film and also, ultimately, so pointless. So fucking pointless.

When Finn and Rose saw those racing animals, I literally sighed in frustration, because it was so obvious where the plot was gonna go. Most of the action of this movie was still fun to watch even when it was stupid. This was not one of those times.

Trashing Canto Bight is still pointless, and mostly just makes me concerned for the children minding the animals, and for the animals themselves. All the rich war profiteers will still go on, they’ll just party somewhere else for a bit while reconstruction is happening. They don’t fucking care. The poor downtrodden children, however, will be punished, and the animals will either be killed or returned to the race track, they didn’t get away, they were just right there on the hill. Finn and Rose didn’t achieve anything triumphant here, they just got the already-suffering into a worse situation. Nice job breaking it, heroes. Did I mention this was pointless? Also, anvilicious. 

Why even bother bringing Phasma back when you’re just gonna dispose of her after the briefest fight ever. TFA did a bad job of making her seem like she existed for a reason anyway, but this just hung a lantern on it. Stupid convenient pointless fight/death scene is stupid, convenient, and pointless. 

(on the subject of pointless characters: why does Maz Kanata exist? TFA at least gave her something to do, but it all just feels like Lupita Nyong’o and Gwendoline Christie were a big deal when TFA was made so they made characters for them and went ‘eh, we’ll find an actual purpose for them later’, but then they...didn’t. It’s a waste of talent, and egregious, too. You know who does exist for a reason, and yet both this film and TFA did fucking NOTHING with her? Leia. I can’t believe they wasted her so much. There are so many wasted characters in this film, and the fact that most of them are the female characters does not escape my scrutiny)

 Hux is also mostly useless, for the record. The narrative gives him more attention than he's due, considering he's basically just 'random First Order commander', he doesn't have more personality than that. I don't really require more characterisation for my neo-Nazi villains anyway, but when the character framing keeps acting like the dude matters, it gets conspicuous.  

 YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS??? A spy in the Resistance. The only logical reason for Holdo to NOT tell her own people that they had an escape plan would have been if there was a spy in the fleet (say, someone who could be broadcasting the signal that the First Order was tracking...); a spy in the fleet is also a good way to create some actual tension and, um, narrative, instead of the fleet just doing that flying-in-a-line-for-a-whole-day thing with the illogical Poe/Holdo drama the only complication. You can still keep the Poe/Holdo stuff! Holdo's secrecy just makes sense now! It doesn't even require that Poe not know there's a spy - he could just as easily suspect that Holdo IS the spy, or at least feel that she's not trying hard enough to find out who is and is just consigning everyone to death instead of going on a witch-hunt, there's plenty of potential for different ways to play that without losing the core story (and while also, maybe, improving it...). But most importantly: we could keep Finn ON THE FUCKING SHIP INSTEAD OF OFF HAVING A RANDO POINTLESS DRAMA. Finn, as a former Stormtrooper, would be a prime suspect for a spy in the eyes of plenty of people! People get irrational under pressure! Finn's past making people mistreat him now would be a solid way for his actual characterisation to be part of his narrative, plus opens a lot of avenues for telling worthwhile socio-political narratives! Concern for Finn's safety and the desire to prove his innocence enhances Poe's story and motivation too! Rose can easily be made part of that narrative and can go on a character journey instead of being physically transplanted places just to provide exposition and jewellery! Having two narrative threads (Rey, and Poe/Finn combined, instead of Rey, Poe, and Finn) helps streamline the storytelling AND frees up time to actual explore those narratives thoroughly instead of wasting time on useless stuff and axing important plot developments to make it all fit! I COULD GO ON LIKE THIS FOREVER!!!

I have seen a lot of people insisting that the only reason Rose professing her love for Finn ‘comes out of nowhere’ is because Rose wasn’t presented like a sex object so audiences didn’t think of her that way, but, guys, no. It came out of nowhere because the two characters just had a buddy adventure over the course of a day and now suddenly Rose is in love? After a day? Her sister died, she went on an adventure, and now she loves this guy she just met. If they didn’t try to call it a romance thing (at least not yet! I got no problem with them developing a relationship after, y’know, more than a day!), it would have worked better; she can still stop him from sacrificing himself because she cares for him as a PERSON, not as a prospective partner. We need more of those narratives, tbh, and we need more young pretty female characters who don’t spontaneously develop romance subplots just by existing. 

SPEAKING OF WHICH, Rey. Rey’s story was so consumed with Kylo Ren, I keep forgetting she was there. How did the other great break-out character from TFA get co-opted into a vehicle for the Kylo Ren sob-story? Rey barely gets her own story here, it’s all really about either Kylo, or Luke. Female protagonist reduced to prop in men’s story. Whoopdi-fucking-doodah. 

 Look. I know Mark Hamill was very vocal about how much he disapproved of literally everything written for Luke in this film. He was right, too: it's fucking OOC garbage. BUT credit where it's due: the guy is still fucking delightful. I love bitter hermit Luke, but I'm giving all the credit to Mark Hamill for doing a fantastic job with the material he hated so much (plenty of that bitterness drawn from a real place, methinks), zero credit for the writing because the writing is, indeed, moronic. It's not that I don't believe Luke could become disenfranchised after what happened at his Jedi training temple: I can't buy that he'd end up in that situation in the first place. Luke Skywalker, who famously ditched his lightsabre in front of his Actual War Criminal father, Darth Vader, and saved the day by compassionately appealing to the goodness he solemnly believed could still be found in the old man despite all the genocidal evidence to the contrary? That Luke Skywalker is not gonna look at his young currently-innocent-of-any-crimes nephew and go 'shit, you've got evil in your heart' and decide to maybe just kill the lad in his sleep. I don't even buy that 'for a second'. Dude wouldn't slice a confirmed war criminal, guys. And then even after the massacre at the temple and all, you're telling me Luke Skywalker wouldn't try to rescue his own nephew from the clutches of evil? That he wouldn't try to fix his mistake? That he'd just shrug his shoulders and mooch off and hide while his nephew got to genocidin' just like gramps used to do?? Come on guys. You might as well retroactively kill Luke at the end of Return of the Jedi and have it over with.

 Why does Luke milk a beast. Why did this happen in front of my eyes.

 They don't spend nearly enough time on Rey's interactions with Luke, it makes her 'lessons' with him feel perfunctory, and their conflicts forced. Also, Rey never gets her third lesson that Luke promised, but rather than it feeling like she just left before she could finish (as with Luke on Dagobah), it feels more like they just forgot to tie that off. As I understand, there's a whole deleted scene/sequence involving the third lesson, so it wasn't deliberately omitted, they just didn't bother to cover the editing mistake. Fuck y'all. You kept the bullshit Canto Bight animal-race, but this...

 Rey's mirror-vision thing was super boring because it was so predictable. Why did it go for so long anyway.

 I never want to see Kylo Ren's nipples again. I can't believe they shamelessly subjected the audience to this obvious bait. He's a genocidal maniac, guys. He's a mass murderer. You cannot make fetch happen with him, and it's disgusting that you're trying.

 Related: I normally barely notice/care about costuming, but there were several faux pas in this film and I was irritated. Kylo Ren's pants were one. Rey's outfits being sleeveless but thick on the shoulders was two, it made it look like she was cold and uncomfortable and walking around with her shoulders up around her ears the whole time and it made ME really uncomfortable to look at her. Three is the older women's outfits, Leia's but especially Holdo's: they're Resistance leaders, why do they look like some idiot costumer prioritised them looking like classy older women over them wearing functional practical outfits? Holdo's dress is great, objectively speaking, but in context she looks several degrees overdressed. Did she not have time to ditch the formal gown when she got called in for emergency Resistance-ing? I have seen it suggested that the outfit is supposed to be part of the whole Poe-not-trusting-her-to-know-what-she's-doing thing, and if that is indeed what they intended, it's triple stupid.

 Kylo Ren's sob story is not really a sob story. Yeah, even if your uncle was standing over your bed holding a lightsabre, that's a rough deal but it doesn't entitle you to SLAUGHTER YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS AND RUN OFF TO JOIN THE NEO-NAZIS. What the actual fuck. Why did we spend so much time on trying to pretend Kylo is sympathetic. I mean, he was also supposed to already be being seduced into evil, that's what Luke saw that made him wanna kill 'im up, so. If they wanted us to sympathise with Kylo, maybe they should AT LEAST have focused on what it was that Snoke was using to seduce him in the first place, explain what gave him the in (as deeply, wildly flawed as the prequel trilogy was, it at least did a thorough job of exploring the how-did-it-come-to-this for Anakin). I mean - same as with Anakin - explaining why someone decides that genocide and dictatorships are the way to go does not make it acceptable, and Kylo Ren would still be a whiny little dickhead in need of a nice beheading, but if they explained his susceptibility to Snoke's logic that would at least be character building. Pretending the whole training temple massacre was 1. Luke's fault, and 2. a sympathetic backstory is pretty grotesque. Great way to make it seem like a certain writer-director thinks that the neo-Nazi sith is actually an ok dude, though...

 On which note: Kylo's 'justification' for killing his own father is also, uh, not justification. Just vague-ing about 'destroying the past' does not an explanation make; maybe if we had some of that aforementioned backstory on what made Kylo so susceptible to corruption, that could also have been used to make this bullshit excuse sound slightly less bullshit? As above, it'd still be bullshit anyway, but at least it wouldn't be faking being deep quite so hard. I'm a bit embarrassed by how stupid this was. The idea that any of Kylo's 'justifying' for any of his murderous actions is convincing to Rey is an insult to her intelligence as well as the audience's.

 Remember at the start of the movie, when Kylo smashes his wannabe-Vader mask? I frowned at it then, not realising how much I was gonna end up frowning about it later: Kylo Ren sucks and has always sucked, but in TFA we had this widely-applauded portrayal of the new Big Bad being an entitled white manbaby, and everyone was talking about how great that was as a reflection of modern society's issues, etc. Smashing his Vader-mask in the elevator was the closest moment this film had to acknowledging the tantrums Kylo threw in TFA, which were simultaneously hilarious and disturbing as they did indeed reflect that kind of childish yet violent acting-out you see with entitles young white men these days. Thing is, where Kylo of TFA chucked tantrums and idolised his former-Nazi grandfather and tried to make himself in gramps' image, this movie is subtly ditching those less-than-flattering details. Kylo smashes his Vader-mask, and while Snoke at various points goes on about his potential to be 'a new Vader', Kylo himself expresses no further desire to follow in Vader's footsteps. Smashing the mask has symbolically severed him from that aim, and thus, from one of the most prominent aspects of his neo-Nazi-modelled characterisation. It's almost like a certain writer-director wants to make the character more sympathetic by giving him a 'sad backstory' and distancing him from his neo-Nazi dreams...

 Speaking of ditching plot though, there are two incredibly egregious examples here: Snoke, and Rey's parents. As much as Snoke was a dud of a character who I definitely did not care about or enjoy, and as much as disposing of him is a surprise that opens up a lot of potential for new and different storytelling, the fact that he was apparently some colossal Big Bad who appeared out of nowhere with no explanation and then was treated like a big deal only to get killed off halfway through is...weak. It doesn't seem clever, it seems like they should have just not invented him in the first place if they weren't actually gonna do anything with him. We didn't have to waste time on this.

 The 'reveal' that Rey's parents were 'nothing' is even worse, tbh. They made such a big deal out of the identity of her parents, in this film and in TFA, and TFA is retroactively weakened as a film every time TLJ ditches one of the plot threads or characters that TFA introduced, because it renders swathes of the content of TFA pointless. Not content to just be full of pointlessness yourself, huh TLJ? Gotta fuck up your predecessor too so that you don't feel lonely? I have seen it argued that Rey not having some fancy pedigree and 'coming from nothing' like a normal person instead of doing the Secret Princess trope is a great move, and I agree with that in theory, but as presented in this film? Hell no. Sure, it woulda been a huge predictable cliché if she was secretly Luke's daughter or something, and the entire universe expected that sort of a reveal so there wouldn't have been much point pretending it was a secret, but this 'reveal' feels less like a cool twist-with-commentary and more like a certain writer-director going for cheap drama points by subverting expectation for no other reason than to be shocking. This feels more like laughing in the audience's face for the fact that they FOOLISHLY expected that a built-up mystery would actually deliver a surprise. Subverting audience expectation is only clever if you have an original twist; just going 'ha! You thought there was something there but there was nothing!' is not clever, it just means the writer-director wasn't smart enough to actually find something to do with the plot set-up he was handed after the previous film. Considering how much he fucked up the characterisation of literally everyone and filled this movie with meaninglessness and plot holes, maybe that's not surprising either...

 You know what would have been surprising? Kylo ACTUALLY SWITCHING SIDES. I was so ready for them to throw us a REAL curveball by having him actually turn, and have to spend the rest of this movie and however much of the next one trying to make amends and work through all the colossal awfulness that would bring up for everyone (before, ultimately, dying a nice redemptive-sacrificial death, because the genocidal maniac is NOT allowed to live happily ever after). That woulda taken some real guts though, right, and we're all about cheap meaningless thrills that don't ultimately change anything, here.

 Why were there so many Praetorian Guard guys. I swear Kylo and Rey fought all of them twice in the course of that battle. Who choreographed this editing nightmare?

 Remember, a thousand words ago, when I started off by criticising the idiotic battle plans of the Resistance? Same goes for this useless assault they launch against the First Order cannon on Crait. Lets run these rust-buckets straight at all their guns and things, even though we've only got thirteen of them and nothing to do but drive straight at our enemies guns! Visually exciting, but completely devoid of intelligent design. Using this second DUMBASS BATTLE PLAN WHICH INEXPLICABLY GOES WRONG as a trite-neat way to show how Poe 'learned this vital lesson about when to retreat to fight again another day' is kinda undercut by the fact that the Resistance is still sending people out to die stupidly in suicide runs, so...maybe they still haven't learned the real lesson here, the one about ACTUALLY PLANNING. You wouldn't have to worry so much about your 'dead heroes' if you made sensible strategic decisions in the first place. Pretty weird, that.

 Force-projection Luke was great, but this seems like it's supposed to be demonstrating some character arc for him when actually it's just repeating his whole passive-resistance thing from the original trilogy, just in a less significant way; as a projection, he's not actually endangered as he was with Vader, so it's less of a statement and more of an '...oh yeah I literally can't fight you anyway, peace out I'm dead now regardless'. Like most things in this film, it's only surface-level cool, as soon as you engage thought processes it becomes as empty as a Jedi cloak in the wind...

 Rey and Poe apparently meeting for the first time at the end of the movie was Hella jarring. They may not have met on-screen in TFA, but they were on the Resistance base at the same time, both personally attached to Finn, etc. We coulda just assumed they had met at some point before Rey left. This awkward meeting was awkward and also hung a big ol' lantern on the fact that our characters all got split off for completely different adventures in this movie instead of doing anything together, like, pretty much at all. Nice.

 Why does this film end so many times. At first I thought it was gonna end after the space battle, and then there was this whole extra action scene on Crait and I was like 'that's weird, why would you add an extra small action piece AFTER your big climactic space battle?', then I thought it was gonna end on a cliffhanger with Luke stepping up to confront the First Order alone (they had this shot from behind, showing the fire around him and the First Order arrayed out across the horizon, and the music was swelling and it would have been a PERFECT cut to credits, but then it cut to Poe's face instead and I was like 'whaaatt, momentum of final shot destroyed!'). Then I thought they were gonna end after everyone got away, but THEN there was that useless end scene of the kids back on Canto Bight being like, sooo filled with Resistance Feelings, and it was fucking dumb. Why would you include such a weak finisher when you had at least three solid final moments already? Honestly I think there were several other almost-ends in there that I'm forgetting now (like maybe also right before the fight on Crait started? I dunno). It was a mercy when they finally picked an ending, but it was the worst ending they had at their disposal.

 Am I finished purging now? Probably not. I'll probably think of a bunch of other things after I post this, plus I see a lot of dumb posts and articles defending various aspects of the film, some of which I can shrug off as differences of opinion, and some of which stick in my head for being nonsense to rival the film itself. For every whiny neckbeard out there complaining about diversity and 'woman heroes', there's a 'progressive' writer who defends the decisions in this movie for seemingly no other reason than because it makes the neckbeards upset, and that's just annoying. You can admit that the movie sucked without that meaning that the misogynists were right, the two options are mutually exclusive, and you lend credence to all the problematic crap this movie pulled if you refuse to admit its flaws. But whatever. It wasn't the worst film I ever saw. It was mostly irritating because of how much potential it had, if someone had just bothered to do a proper critical edit of the script and maybe think about telling cohesive stories with it and maintaining characterisation across the franchise, etc. Maybe the third film of the trilogy will fix some of the shit from this film, but the fact will remain, it shouldn't have to. Trying to patch up the holes made by the previous film should not be part of the third film's job; this movie shoulda just been solid to start with. A lot of what was bad about it is structurally unsound anyway, and a third film won't change that. This movie was a dud. A stupid, largely pointless dud. Delete this.

[jazzband22]

the silver mask review

NOTE: all spoilers will be under the cut, so if you havent read the book yet, i would suggest not opening it (unless you dont care about spoilers like me ^_^)

okay, so i know we all had low expectations for this book. i know we all knew it was gonna suck. despite this, i found myself feeling hope when i picked this book up off the shelf last night. maybe it will all have just been a big misunderstanding and the book is actually gonna be great!

well i was wrong. its bad. really bad.

honestly, as im typing this, i cant think of many things about this book i actually liked. i guess i liked that call had a lot of doubts about everything he was doing? he was constantly wondering if he was doing the right thing, which i can really relate to. im not an evil overlord, obviously, i just have anxiety. i also liked the banter between call and jasper and the development of their relationship. it was kinda nice to see them working together on something, and even helping each other.

now, for the things i didnt like.

this book was lightning-paced, and this did not work in the story’s favor. i read the whole book in one sitting, which im sure many of us will do, and i found myself wondering, “wait, we’re moving on already?” scenes are short and to the point which is a little disappointing. i expect more from this book, i know what it’s potential is. its sad seeing it coming so short.

another thing i didnt like was the dialogue and the characterization of some characters. the dialogue felt very unrealistic and stiff, like bad actors reading from a script. some of the characters were so one-dimensional, a great example being tamara. her development was completely destroyed in this book, which is crushing to read. alex felt very much like a cartoon villain, with a cheap motive and very little development of his relationship with master joseph, which definitely shows a more human side of him and could have made me sympathize with him more. call is super dumb in this book, and he hyper-focuses on things that have nothing to do with the story. for a good few chapters, his narration is so annoying because he only talks about one thing, which ill talk about under the cut.

this is the shortest book yet at 232 pages, and of course i am taking into account that this is technically intended for younger audiences, but ive read much longer, better paced, and more well-cared-for books intended for middle grade readers. this book feels like it was written in a few days, which really draws back to the fact that i think cassandra and holly have stopped caring about magisterium. a series with authors that dont care anymore is doomed to fail, and i believe that’s the direction magisterium is going.

that’s the end of the non-spoiler portion of my review. again, dont open the cut if you dont want to be spoiled!

(spoiler: this book is bad and you shouldnt spend money on it)

okay, so one thing that really pissed me off was how dumb call was acting about kissing tamara. he just didnt shut up about it, which was annoying to read since he was the narrator, and frustrating since hes supposed to be focusing on escaping or bringing back aaron! the callmara subplot was pointless and annoying. call and tamara didnt have nearly as much chemistry as call did with aaron, and im not a bitter calron stan talking here, im talking as a reader who wants to read a good book. callmara kind of ruined this book for me. there was no development, barely any discussion between the two, they kissed once and suddenly they were dating... it felt like they just threw it in because their plot map said they needed a romance. if it had more development other than anastasia telling call, “oh man, she has such a crush on you. its cute.” (which is pretty close to what she actually said) i would be less angry about it. plus, call obviously cares more about aaron than tamara, evident by him literally lying to her face about not wanting to bring him back, and once he does bring him back, his unwillingness to let aaron go like tamara asked him to multiple times. so i personally think calron would have been a better choice, except the fact that aaron is so magnificently fucked up after he gets resurrected.

which, by the way, can we talk about that?

you cant just bring a dead character back to life for 10 chapters only to KILL HIM AGAIN AT THE END OF THE BOOK. WHAT.

of course hes not actually gone, now hes a voice in calls head, which is worse than him being dead or reborn. we now have a bodiless aaron stewart floating around in calls soul. like. what the mega fuck. no one wanted this. no one.

i liked and also hated that aaron was different after his resurrection. i liked it from a plot standpoint, but as a reader who has had literal years to become invested in his character, i hate that he died in the first place. still searching for the plot reason he was killed off, by the way. i dont see any. ANY. viable reason for aaron to have died other than shock value. kill tamara! or jasper! fuck, kill celia! any of those people being killed would have the same bearing on the plot that killing aaron did. this is me being super satly right now, because aaron is my golden retriever puppy, but i mean come on. even if i didnt stan aaron i would still be SUPER pissed about his death.

tangent over. this didnt even happen in the book. who let me review books im so bad at this.

but yeah. aaron came back and then he died again. so. dont buy this book.

the ending was super weird? it felt like it was supposed to happen at the end of the series. it was very final. of course, they found a way to squeeze out one more book and take all of our money, because the rules are just being made up as we go.

thats another thing i didnt like! the rules of the whole chaos thing are super confusing and i feel like theyre just being made up for plot convenience? like alex being okay in the void? honestly i skimmed the epilogue (which isnt even an epilogue idk why they called it one) so i dont really know alexs whole void thing but hes not dead? hes in the void but hes gonna come back i guess because the plot says so.

okay. i could honestly go on for hours about this book but i only read through it once and im kind of afraid im gonna say something wrong in this review so im gonna end it here. in conclusion, i hated this book. a lot. will i still be buying the next one? of course i fucking will. will i hate myself for it? of course i fucking will!

dont spend money on this book. dont do it.