#and i wanna see oliver ya feel

[dollwrites]

Can I put in for the smut prompts a 10 with either chifuyu, baji, or kazutora. Honestly whichever character serves your muse more is good with me 😁

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!reader, sex toys ( dildo + bullet ), riding, baji seeing his girl get down like a pornstar for the first time ( heart eyes lol ), very very minimal dumbification, belly bulge, oral sex ( m!receiving ), all characters featured are aged 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3

𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗿𝗯𝘀 ∣ prompt # ten // finding your sex toys and making you use them in front of him

he’d fucked you before. plenty of times.

you’ve even ridden him before. plenty of times.

but this was more erotic than Baji could’ve ever imagined. maybe that was why he couldn’t stop staring, one hand shoved deep in his pants, palming a growing erection. “Come on, baby,” he moans, gripping his own bulge through his boxers and squeezing tight, before rubbing in eager, deliberate circles, “ride that dick for me.”

you mewl, and brace one hand on the floor behind you, your body angled back, breasts jiggling out of the sagging neckline of your top. you were half dressed, with your panties and shorts still draped around your right ankle, and your shirt pulled down to show Baji your tits and how they bounce in hypnotizing circles. you’d never been in this position before, knees bent up and spread wide, balancing on the balls of your bare feet as you grind and ride the silicone cock you were regretting leaving where your boyfriend could find it. your ass smacks against the cold, hardwood floor each time you bottom out— a stark reminder that the dick was not attached to Baji, but suction-cupped to the middle of the floor while he loomed over you, practically drooling at such a sight. “Th-this is.. really… just for when you’re not home, ya know…” you offer, and run the small, humming vibe over your tender clit, sending a tremor through your thighs. “Ffffuck,” it’s a shaky curse, and you nearly pull the bullet away. your walls were clamping around the slick, fake dick so tightly that it had your eyes threatening to cross from how good it felt to be filled.

“But I’m here right now, and I wanna see you fuck it.”

Baji’s eyes practically bulge from their sockets, stroking his clothed cock harder and faster. his ego had blown up the second he’d seen the toy you had— as close to his own length and girth that you could possibly get without molding it directly from his body. even the olive tone was close to his own complexion. and watching you handle every inch, the way your hips oscillate to meet the base— it was as if he were watching you fuck him from angles he’d never been able to see before now. “Turn it up,” he growls, the pointed and pearly canines peeking out from beneath his top lip, his eyes zeroed in on the small bullet buzzing against your clit. you were already soaked, and the pointed tip skids across your sensitive bud as it makes a schlicking noise. “There’s gotta be a higher setting. I wanna see your brain melt, baby.”

you suck your lower lip between your teeth and hold it there, whining as you nudge the button on the bottom of the toy with your thumb until the whirring gets louder, and the vibrations are almost painful. your brows knit together, your knees shaking. they’re cramping and desperately trying to clamp shut. you’re hardly hovering over the floor, rocking your body back and forth parallel with it, and the silicone cock bends to accommodate this position, the chubby head bulging against your lower belly each time it pushes against your spongy walls. “Baji…!” you cry out his name, as you typically do when you’re about to cum, and you stare up at him, your mouth hanging open.

it was all the invitation he needed.

“That feel good, baby? Taking cock like a pretty, little pornstar for me?” two steps and Baji has planted his heavy boots on the floor on either side of your waist. his pants were wrenched down his thighs in seconds, his boxers following, and he was grabbing his hard cock and shoving it into your mouth before you could react, his free hand fleeing straight to the back of your head to guide you forward just enough to welcome the first few inches in. you take initiative shortly after, bobbing your head, slurping and sucking on as many thick inches that you could fit in your mouth without gagging. Baji howls loudly, mouth wide open and head dropping back. he was already half way there before he got into your mouth, but now that you were sucking him off so vigorously, he was oozing precum and twitching like crazy. throbbing against your tongue. his hips rock forward, feeding you another inch. “Don’t stop riding for me, baby,” he whispers, hoarse already, both hands gripping your hair at the roots. he doesn’t force your head, or even urge you into a new rhythm, he just needs to be able to feel you. to hold on to you while you pleasure him and yourself. “I want you to cum, just like this, ahhh,” Baji sucks in a heavy breath and exhales shakily, “both holes plugged and your little clit nice and puffy, all for me…”

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: 2 Fisted Tales

Stephen King: hey patricia is it true you used to write comics? Patricia Highsmith: [long cigarette drag] Highsmith: who told you that

King: well, i just heard- Highsmith: was it stan lee? Highsmith: musta been stan lee Highsmith: never met a cat who talked so much Highsmith: might as well be a dame with all the yap yap yappin

Dean Koontz: wowwwww did you really meet stan lee, patricia? Highsmith: yeah Koontz: wowwww! what was that like? [flashback] Stan Lee: hey there comics fans its me, stan lee Lee: how bout a date? Highsmith: no dice

Poe: steve King: i just thought she'd like to tell us about her Poe: steve Poe: just no Poe: no King: ok fine Barker: i'm gonna hear the comic story Poe: CLIVE NO

King: ah but patricia i think we'd all like to hear a comics story Patricia Highsmith: i ain't gonna tell no comic story King: well maybe I can't convince you King: but I bet I know someone who can! Alan Moore: [appearing in a flash] who dares summon the arch magus? King: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus! Koontz: the arch magus!

Moore: speak! what boon ask ye of the arch magus? King: hey alan you've worked in comics King: how about you tell patricia that comics aren't stupid Moore: Moore: i cannot tell her that

Moore: comics are the bane of my existence! a curse upon them! Highsmith: now this guy, this guy i like Highsmith: he's got a real noodle in his noggin Moore: the arch magus would do well to hear your counsel, mortal Highsmith: sure, we could jaw a bit

Highsmith: how you feel about snails, archmagus? Moore: be these your familiars? Highsmith: "familiars" Highsmith: listen to this cat

Highsmith: ok fine you mooks wanna hear about my comics Highsmith: i'll tell ya Highsmith: but only cuz i'm here among bros Highsmith: long as its just dudes Highsmith: cuz these stories Highsmith: they get a little rough Highsmith: and you know how dames are

Highsmith: so this story's just for us dudes Highsmith: so franz Franz Kafka: what? Highsmith: you gotta go Kafka: huh? what? Kafka: why? Highsmith: you just gotta go Kafka: i don't understand Barker: oh my god franz get a clue Poe: clive

Highsmith: submitted for the approval of the midnight pals Highsmith: i call this the tale of the crime puncher Highsmith: it's about this real swole square headed guy who punches criminals Highsmith: pow! punch! bam! Highsmith: that's what comics are all about

Highsmith: so there're these 2 palookas who fight crime Highsmith: named steve and ploopie Barker: i'm sorry what Highsmith: steve and ploopie Barker: steve and WHAT Highsmith: what, you got cabbage in your ears? ploopie Barker: Barker: i'm sorry WHAT

Highsmith: anyway steve and ploopie gotta do some punching Barker: there's a lot of punching in these stories Highsmith: that's what kids want in comics Barker: huh sure yeah Barker: Barker: i'm sorry steve and WHAT Poe: let it go, clive

Highsmith: so this world war i playing ace crashes into a polish swamp Highsmith: when he dies, it creates a big mud monster Highsmith: who goes to america to harass some kid for his model air plane Barker: i'm starting to see why you didn't want to tell these stories Poe: CLIVE

Highsmith: i didn't just do action comics tho Highsmith: i wrote educational ones too Highsmith: like the two-fisted tales of oliver cromwell Highsmith: or don't mess with galileo Highsmith: or catherine the great takes out the trash

King: why didn't you stick with comics, patricia? Patricia Highsmith: eh you know how the comics biz is King: but I've heard its actually a growth industry Highsmith: is that so King: yeah they tell me that there's lots of opportunities in comics for girls Highsmith: ugh pass

[korasonata]

JUST finished Cleo’s first stream for Pirates SMP, and the amount of times I just fully burst out laughing like—

—

Sausage: *kisses Scott on sight*

Owen: *throwing himself in front of Sausage * Hi. 😏

Scott: I like a forward man 😉

—

Sausage: Where do you get these? This silk?

Scott: Thank you, thank you…

Sausage: Can I touch it?

Scott: Yeah of course. You can touch whatever you want 😏

—

Oli: I’ll give you 5 gold to tell me what’s beneath that patch.

Cleo: Look my eye got stolen by a monkey, ok?!

Oli: Oh! Was it a my cock?

Sausage: WHAT?!

Oli: A ma’ cock!

Sausage: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PRONOUNCE IT!

—

*Owenge_Juice becomes a Heron*

Scott/Cleo/El: (chanting) ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Owen: …are you allowed to change your mind afterwards?

Scott: NO! :D

—

El: So you’re like a lone wolf?

Owen: Uh…kind of. More like a lone sea dog.

El: Come on, give us a bark.

Scott: Yeah!

Owen: Uh…I only bark in certain situations…

Scott: Oh. What situations?

Owen: …uh, oKAY! WHICH WAY—

—

El: This is my bed over here. There is one right next to it, you can take that.

Owen: Perfect! Thanks!

El: I do make really loud noises in my sleep.

Scott + Owen: Oh???

El: Yeah.

Cleo: Yeah, but not the noises you would expect either.

—

Cleo (about Olive): They said they’d got invitations from Herons and Nightingales I think?

Scott: Yeah it was Heron, Nightingales, and Kestrals, they didn’t get Kites.

Cleo: Who DOES get Kites unless you’re a psychopath.

Scott: Owen got all 4.

Owen: Yeah…umm…

Cleo: Oh…

—

*Cleo gets everyone drunk*

Cleo: Ah, you’re all lightweights!

El: *flirting with Water* Oh, you look so lovely in this light right now!

Water: Oh El!

El: Lovely!

Scott: I feel I can take more damage. I’m gonna go jump off the cliff guys!!

—

Cleo: Maybe one day you can buy a real hat!

El: Well I will, but you know, I just think— I don’t see anybody else having made one when they’ve not got one. Gonna get a wet head.

Cleo: *absolutely lost it*

—

Cleo: Gotta get the alcohol. Otherwise I’m gonna kill someone. It’s fine.

—

Oil (Distant): ARE WE SURE THIS IS THE WAY?!

Cleo: Scott’s sure it’s the way!

Oli (distant distress): I— DON’T LIKE IT!

Aimsey: Honestly I’m hoping for the best! I hope he does!

Oli: Ya Damn Herons!

Cleo: You don’t have to follow us, ok?!

Oli: Well unfortunately my Kestrals already ran off

Aimsey: This is what I mean! I— I’m hoping you get this! I’ve dunked this too many times!

Cleo: It’s very Kestral of you to just wait until the end and have other people to do it for you!

Aimsey: I’m a Kite! I’m a Kite! Thank you!

Cleo: Well, yeah you know what? It’s very typical for Kites to do it too.

Aimsey: Oh well is it now? Is it then?!

Cleo: Oh yeah yeah! It is it is!

Aimsey: Do you wanna duel?! You wanna duel when we get back, Cleo?! You wanna duel?!

Cleo: Do I want to punch you in the face a bunch? I do. But I’m drunk. I don’t know what you want from me.

—

Oli: There we go, I’ve got a side angle. I’m overtaking you, Heron! SLOOOOWWW

Cleo: *cuts him off*

Oli: No stop crashing! You’re crashing my port side!

Cleo: Well you know—

Oli: GET OFF ME PORT SIDE!

Cleo: NO ONE WANTS TO BE ON YOUR PORT SIDE, OK?!

Oli: Everyone wants to be on my port side!

—

Cleo: This is very far away. Like I haven’t heard Scott this whole time. I feel like Scott’s monologuing.

Aimsey: I can hear you though, Cleo!

Cleo: I hear YOU. And I—

Aimsey: You love that, right? You love hearing me. 😏

—

Cleo: *singing* What shall we do with a drunken sailor! What shall we do with a drunken sailor! What shall we— *talking* apparently put her in a boat and let her follow Scott, that’s what you need to do with a drunken sailor.

—

Oli: AIMSEY! AIMSEY! AIMSEY! STOP SINGING!

Aimsey: *distant singing*

Cleo: Oh I can’t hear Aimsey, that’s good.

Oli: CAUSE I HATE HERONS!

Cleo (a Heron): AIMSEY’S NOT A HERON!

SILENCE

Oli: …then what are they?

Cleo: They’re a Kite.

Oli: OH STUPID KITES! Herons, you’re alright. KITES. Imbeciles.

—

Owen (talking to chat): No, there’s no canon lives, chat. Except in specific cases. *whispering* check with Twitter.

Cleo: YOU’RE BREAKING MY EMERSION OWEN!

Owen: Sorry!

—

Olive: Hey! Where does a pirate go to school? HARRRvard!

Cleo: …You’re out of the faction.

Olive: Oh no! Not on my second day! H—how does a pirate protect themself? ARRRmour.

Cleo: …I’m gonna run a vote…

Olive: No it’s fine, I’ll go join the Kite’s or something, it’s fine.

Cleo: Oh dear.

Olive: What do you call it when two pirates are in a draw? A staleMATEY.

Cleo: OUT! OUT OF THE FACTION!

—

*Cleo walks up to a female NPC*

Cleo: Hello sweet lady 😏

—

Other things I also enjoyed

•Scar managing to get a Jellie and literally everyone swarming around to pet her

•Scott, Aimsey, Cleo, and Oli sailing together and all of them singing a completely different pirate song simultaneously.

•The entire dynamic between Cleo and Aimsey

•Cleo being HELLA sus of Cruppy the entire time right up until Scott hands it a beer and it drinks and suddenly Cleo’s just like actually you know what? You’re alright. We cool.

•Cleo being given babysitting duty and then literally within 5 minutes pawning off the child with a rival faction

•Cleo using being drunk as an excuse for everything. Lag? Everyone is drunk because she keeps giving out alcohol. Server crash? Don’t mind her she’s just vomiting in the corner of a pub somewhere. No tools? She needs the iron to make kegs for MORE alcohol. Oh you wanna fight? I would but I’m drunk. Shit babysitter? I’m a drunk what do you want from me? She signs off for the day and her excuse for her absence is literally just “imma go get blackout drunk for a solid 14 hours”. The fact that the excuse works lore wise for almost every situation.

•THE ANIMATICS

•The LORE. JUST ALL THE LORE

Solid start. 10/10

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, Again✦

Guess who's back...back again-

Ghost @ DILF!Y/N: Stop making me have gay thoughts, General. I look at men and I feel weird. I feel strange. It makes me wanna do things. I don’t like that.

(This also works with Soap, of course)

-- (Based on that one Avatar moment that set the fucking bar for me. Also, bonus random name of an NPC) Ghost: Oliver is the best sniper. DILF!Y/N, real softly over Ghost’s shoulder: …well I don’t want Oliver. Ghost, a man with daddy issues: Ghost, internally: HOLD IT THE FUCK TOGETHER SOLDIER, WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS

-- Y/N: I was gonna say that if in ten years time, the two of us aren’t married, let’s agree… Gaz: Yeah? Y/N: To hunt each other for sport. Gaz: T-To hunt each other for sport?- Y/N: Yeah! D-did you just agree?! Gaz: I thought you were gonna say like, y’a know, let’s get married! Let’s- Y/N: Oh! Oh. Gaz: I’ll be your Gilligan! Y/N: I didn’t mean- the signals-

-- Gaz: Sorry! I thought I saw a wasp. Y/N: Do you love me too? Gaz, breaking his neck: Excuse me?

-- (NSFW warning) Y/N: Like- no I know it’s bad but bro I- he makes me such a whore. Soap: Okay like, on a scale of one to ten- Y/N: I’d let him cum on my glasses Soap: ON YOUR GLASSES?! Oh it’s serious. Y/N: I KNOW

-- 141: *looking at knocked out Graves* Y/N: I’m gonna check his pockets. Alejandro: For weapons? Y/N: No, to see where he keeps the fucking audacity. Soap: *wheeze* No no, bad timing, don’t be funny this is serious.

-- Y/N: You wanna go toe-to-toe with me, pretty boy? Alejandro: Go for it.~ I’ll give you the first shot. Y/N: Better make it count, casanova. Alejandro: I never half-ass anything, mi girasol. Ghost: Oi, keep your pants on and focus, would ya?

-- Soap: Missed me missed me now you gotta kiiii…. Simon: Now I gotta what? Soap: Nothin’ forget it- Simon: No no, now I gotta what?

-- Y/N, surrounded by attractive men: Am I…a whore? Y/N: *looks at them* Y/N: I don’t really give a fuck, HEY TEAM-

-- Gaz: Why are you just…laying on the couch? Usually you’re up and doing something. Y/N: Can’t move. Soap: Why?? Y/N: *sits up on their elbows and allows their neck to be seen* Gaz: *gasp* Nooooo… Y/N: Mhm. Soap: Nuh uh. Y/N: König carried me here. >:) Gaz: YOU WHORED! Y/N: I DID!!

-- Someone: Please PLEASE don’t tell anyone. Y/N: I won’t! I won’t, promise. Someone: *sigh* Thank you. … Price: *doing paperwork* Y/N, busting in: CAPTAIN!! Price: BLOODY FU-What in the world?! Y/N: *shuts his door and smoothly sits on his desk* Captain you will not believe what I have heard.

-- Soap: I’m gonna stop listening to drama. I’m gonna focus on my training, be a better person- Gaz: Right, right. Y/N, popping in: Guess who got caught sucking dick in the bathroom. Soap & Gaz: WHO?! Soap: *falls out of chair*

-- Price: Be nice. Y/N: I’m always nice! Price: Really nice, not bitchy nice. Y/N: …you tied my hands but fine.

-- (With a random backstory I have in my brain for König) Y/N: How do you uh, deal with all this trauma? König: I call my mutter. Y/N: That’s beautiful, K- König: Call my mutter a bitch.

-- Gaz: GIRLFRIEND STOP, GET BACK IN THE CAR Soap with zero self preservation instincts: *sprinting with a pipe bomb* YOU GET BACK HERE!

-- Y/N: This entire team is full of babygirls. Gaz: Oh not that fucking meme- Soap: Full of huh? Ghost: Call me that and I will snap your spine. Y/N: Bring it! An honor sir! Price: Jesus Christ-

[chlorinecake]

ੈ♡ “do you actually hate me? so, enemies to lovers?”

🧩 N.RK 🐈‍⬛

pairing: flirtatious!stranger!riki x tsundere!fem!reader 🍵

synopsis: after calling the mysterious airport boy’s phone number, you’re left to make a decision that could quite possibly change everything between you two

cw: language, mentions of food, lots of teasing, crack, ft. riki’s big sister [Konon]

wc: 1.9k — part 1 ✈️ & part 2 💌 & part 4 🥟

You stared at the yellow sticky note in your hand, reading Riki’s letter for what felt like the hundredth time. By now, you had fully memorized his number, but you still glanced at it as you typed the series of digits onto your phone.

Boop, the dial tone sang eerily.

“Hello,” the cheerful speaker said from the other side of the phone.

“Hey, this is ____ from the airport. I just wanted to say thank you for returning my…item,” you chuckled.

“Uhh, I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.”

“Oh,” you almost frowned, “then who is this?”

“This is Café Royale on Olive Street. Wait, what did you say your name was again?”

“____.”

“Ok, cool! We were told to expect a call from you! You have a table for two reserved at 8:30am with Mr. Riki N.“

“I do? I mean, is he there now?” You asked, looking at the time that currently read 8:19am.

Ding.

“Yeah, he just came in,” the call cut out.

After getting dressed in casual apparel, you arrived at the café around 8:35am, spotting Riki and the female cashier chatting things up. He whipped his head at the sound of the door bell chiming, smiling at the sight of you.

“Wow,” he remarked, taking in your frame.

“Skipping straight to the corny stuff, I see,” you teased, sticking your hands in your pockets.

“No? I’m just surprised you actually showed up,” he said as the waitress made her way over.

You weren’t too sure why Riki wanted to meet with you so soon. Though, it surprised you how much thought he put into arranging everything.

“Hello again! Feel free to check out some of our options and see what you like before ordering,” she chirped, looking back and forth between you and him. “He’s my little brother, by the way, so don’t try anything fast unless you wanna be scalped,” she snapped, passing you a menu.

You didn’t really know how to respond to that, so you just stayed quiet, following Riki’s lead as he guided you to the reserved table by your hand.

His grip was protective yet gentle, you felt like you could hold his hand forev-

What am I saying, you thought to yourself.

He pulled out your chair before sitting beside you, propping his elbows on the table, interlacing his fingers.

“That’s Konon, my older sister. She wasn’t trying to threaten you. Just think of it as a friendly warning,” he nodded as if accepting it himself.

“I understand,” you smiled, analyzing the menu. “You two look very alike. Do you have similar personalities, too?”

He giggled, “We have similar interests, but different character’s. She’s obviously the cold type when it comes to meeting new people. I’m more…”

“Flirty,” you answered, meeting his eyes.

“So I’ve been told,” he hummed.

The waitress came over to your table with a note and pen in hand, “Alrighty, kid’s. What can I get ya?”

“I’ll have a matcha boba smoothie,” you answered plainly, suddenly becoming shy in front of his sister.

“And for the gentleman?”

“I’d like a matcha latte, with a sharing platter of chocolate filled shortbread cookies…and maybe a few breakfast bagel bites… ooh! With fresh strawberries on the side, microwaved please.”

Konon didn’t bother writing down his order, tucking the notepad in her apron pocket. “Fantastic! I’ll be back with your order in just a few minutes,” she said sarcastically, side-eying Riki as she walked away.

A different waiter brought out your order, placing a wooden platter down on the table, along with a few napkins.

“Thank you,” you and Riki said in unison, bowing his head slightly.

You immediately took a sip of your boba, a few drops of the sugary green liquid dripped from the straw, seeping through your top.

How lovely.

“Uhhh,” you looked down at your chest, the imprint of your bra starting to show.

“Looks like you’ve got a hole in your lip,” he teased, moving a thumb to wipe the drink from your mouth and then tasting it himself. “Hmm, she never makes it that good for me,” he pouted, using a few napkins to wipe at your chest.

You could feel your face growing hotter as he continued to dab at the stain, your mind still stuck on the image of him tasting the tea from your mouth with his thumb.

What was this boy doing to your heart?

“Gosh, Riki, maybe if you stopped thinking about my melons, the universe would stop drawing attention to them!” You raised your voice at him accusingly, swatted his hand away from you. Luckily, Konon had her back turned and didn’t notice the commotion.

“I can’t believe you just called your boobs melons,” he judged. “Did you give each one it’s own name, too?”

“You’re a foreign breed, Riki,” you said, failing to get the green out of your shirt.

He sighed, “Here.” Looking up to face him, your eyes darted to the view of his abs that poked from underneath his shirt. “What’re you doing,” you asked, trying to mask how you were literally just checking him out.

He took off his hoodie, revealing the white tee he wore underneath. Running a hand through his bleached hair, he handed you the hoodie to cover your stained shirt.

“Riki, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, it’s alright,” he smiled, snaking your head through the hole.

You still had to get used to his strange personality, but you were growing more and more fond of it with every second that passed.

“What do you think?” He asked, sitting back down before flashing you a shit eating grin.

“What do I think of what?”

“The way I smell? I’m sure you took a whiff. Weirdo.”

Ouch. You never would’ve thought getting a taste of your own medicine would be so painful.

You paused in thought, “Well, it smells a little off, actually. Like reptilian eggs and ear wax, but I’ll get over it, I guess,” you teased back, eliciting a fit of laughter from him.

He was hysterical, hair tussling all over his head as his body followed the sounds he made. It’s not that Riki found your joke all that funny, but it was how small you looked in his hoodie that really tickled him. He let out a sigh, reattaining his composure.

“Can you pass me a few cookies?”

You nodded, handing him three.

“Excuse me? I’m a cookie short, ma’am.”

You scoffed. “What’re you talking about?”

“I asked for a few cookies? You only gave me three.”

“Yeah, because a few IS three.”

“Okay, everybody knows a few is four. A throuple is three”

“Throuple sounds so dumb. And for the record, a couple is two, a few is three, nobody knows what four is, and a handful is five, because you have five fingers.”

“I’m sure I could hold a lot more than five cookies in one hand, just saying.”

“That’s not the point, Riki!”

“Whatever, ____,” he shook his head, taking a bite of the crisp cookie. “Words aren’t a valid way to measure numbers anyway.”

“Change the subject or I’m leaving.”

He rolled his eyes, dipping one of his cookies into the warm green latte. “Have you ever experienced a ghost poop before?”

You choked on your boba. “A what?”

“A ghost poop. It’s when you feel the urge to poop but you don’t actually have to poop, so like, it’s just your butthole going through the motions of pooping but you’re not actually pooping? I know you know what I’m talking about.”

You shook your head in horror, offended that he brought up such a thing while you were eating. “What’s wrong with you?”

“What? You told me to change the subject!” He defended, picking up one of the mushy strawberries before savoring the tartness in his mouth, reaching to add a cookie to the mix.

You blinked at him. “I hate you.”

He moved the biscuit from his face, “Wait, like… actually?”

“Yes, actually.”

“No, I mean like deadass?”

“Actually, deadass, for real, no cap, whatever,” you exaggerated, picking with a loose thread of his hoodie.

He finally bit into the cookie, munching and nodding at your response. “Hmm. So, enemies to lovers?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Woah, that’s a pretty big step, ____, but if you’re ready for that kind of commitment, so am I.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, a smile wavering over his features. “Can I call you ‘baby’?”

“I don’t think you should order caffeinated drinks anymore.”

“As a soon to be legal adult, I’m allowed to enjoy as much caffeine as I please.”

“So- wait, how are you qualified to work as a tsa agent if you’re a minor?” You asked curiously, trying one of the cookies yourself.

“Don’t you know my last name?”

You swallowed, “Obviously not.”

“Well, my father owns the airline organization you went to the other day. I’ve been working as an agent since I my sixteenth birthday, but before, he had me on window cleaning duty a few days a week. He says it’s his way of making me into a ‘good-for-something man.’ Working with him has its perks though.”

Riki Nishimura, you pieced together in your mind. A name that sounded so lovely on the tongue and so fresh in the mind. Why was he so dreamy?

“Does he pay you?”

“Pfft, no. He lets me travel once a month, instead.”

“No way. Where’ve you been?”

“Uhhh, the Philippines, Japan, of course, because I have relatives out there, Australia, Spain, South Korea, Brazil, Poland, Canada-”

“Paris?”

He paused for a moment. “No, actually. I was never really captivated by the place. Not until I met you, that is.”

What the? That was such a direct comment! Does he find you “captivating?”

He dug into his leather shoulder bag, pulling out an envelope and handing it to you.

“You’re really the old fashioned letter and notes type, huh?”

“Yes, and you love that about me,” he winked, “among others things, I’m sure.”

You scoffed, “Like what?”

“Well,” he began, leaning back in his chair with folded arms, showing off his toned muscles. “I’m mysterious.”

“Mysterious?”

“Mhm,” he nodded confidently, “And attractive.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I always say silly things that you find endearing.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself Rik-”

“You’re in love with my name.”

You wanted to kick him for how flustered you suddenly felt.

He continued from your silence, “You say it all the time like you’re scared to forget it. Like I’m gonna walk away if you don’t keep calling me.”

You dusted a few crumbs from your hands over the table. “Would you?” you asked, meeting his piercing eyes.

“Would I what?”

“Walk away.”

He leaned forward, looking down at the empty mug before him.

“Maybe if you were to reject my offer,” he finished, gleaming at the sealed envelope that sat on your side of the table.

Biting a lip with anticipation, you tore an end of the white rectangle, revealing what was inside:

A plane ticket.

To Paris, France.

With Riki.

Tomorrow!

You shook your head in disbelief, meeting his desperate yet patient features.

“I… this is… Riki-”

“See? There you go saying my name again,” he set his hand over yours, “I’m right here, ____. All you have to do is say yes.”

You took a deep breath, trying to rationalize between your heart that screamed yes and your mind that howled no. It’s not like you didn’t trust him, but you still weren’t sure how you felt about him yet, and something like this could change everything between you two. From a cute stranger that gave you hell at the airport to potentially travelling the world with him.

What do you say?

ᴀ/ɴ 𓂋 I hope you all enjoyed reading this piece as much as I did writing it! ~ love always, @chlorinecake 🎂

☆ ☆ ☆ taglist: @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @yngwife @fanficfactoryfoxxx @ashgonedash @wzy3ka @j-wyoung @stinkoscope @cloudylino

[boredzillenial]

For your blurbs

How about Basil Stitt crushing on a Dasher/ delivery girl

As sweet or spicy as you are feeling. 🙈

Yes Chef! 🫡

Theme: Basil breaks down and orders pizza. A.N: Just a lil awkwardness and a few too many interruptions lol

Empty, completely fucking empty… Basil thought as he stared at the barren interior of his fridge. He went to grab a lone beer when his stomach growled, begging for anything more substantial.

Anxiety rippled through him at the thought of leaving his darkened apartment. I’m hideous, can’t let anyone see me like this… It’d only been a few days since “the incident” and he hadn’t left his place since. He paced for a moment before a pizza menu haphazardly tossed on the ground caught his eye. He shrugged and dialed the number as he slouched back on the couch.

“Gianni’s Pizza what’ll ya have?” Your curt voice had him shoot forward. His heart hammered in his chest at your voice. All at once memories of conversations came to his mind. It’d started as chit-chat, and through months of ordering you two had developed a rapport, even a bit of flirting.

Despite the clipped tone it still hit something inside him. “Hello?” You sighed on the other end, “Look if this is those stupid kids you’re not funny. Im hanging up-“

“No wait!” Basil blurted. “I - I need to place an order, for delivery.”

“Basil?” Your tone softened, “I’m so sorry, these fucking kids -“ you sighed. “You want your usual?”

He nodded. “Hello?” Your voice rang softly in the receiver.

“Sorry! Sorry yeah I guess Pepp-”

“Pepperoni half olives and cheesy bread.” Your voice seemed to lift a bit at the familiarity of the order.

He stopped for a moment, somewhat comforted that you actually remembered. “Ah actually, no olives. Cinnamon bread instead of cheesy.” His hand rubbed across the back of his neck as he paced across the hardwood.

“No? Catherine out of town again?” You asked so nonchalantly it nearly hurt.

“Catherine is, out. Yeah - no she chea-“ Basil stopped himself, you didn’t wanna hear about his personal life. Your gasp nearly made his heart stop.

“You’re joking! What a b-“ you stopped yourself. “It’ll be by in 10 alright? Just hang tight.” You hung up.

Basil crinkled his brow as he stared at the phone, you’d sounded like… like you cared.

The minutes passed faster than he thought possible as he fumbled for cash around his apartment. He figured he could just slip it under the door when you came. No one should see him like this.

A light but antsy knock sounded on the door. “Pizza. It’s me!” Your light voice muffled slightly by the thin door set his nerves alight.

“T-thanks.” Basil called from his side, pressing close and peeking through the peep-hole at your beautiful face.

Confusion etched into your features as you waited for the door to open. “Basil?”

“Oh right, here.” Shuffling sounded as two 20s awkwardly slipped under the front door. “Keep the change.”

“Basil I, I wanted to talk. Are you alright?” He could see you worry your bottom lip as you glanced along the empty hall.

“Fine! Ah, sick I don’t want you to catch it.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched you. Please please just leave. You couldn’t see him like this…

“Oh ah, feel better.” Sadness knitted your brow a moment before you set the pizza and bag of cinnamon bread on the ground. You went to say something but caught yourself. Instead putting your hand up to the door and signing softly.

Basil watched with his heart hammering away in his chest. Watched until he heard the elevator ding and was sure you’d left. When he opened the door the first this to surprise him is the money still sitting just on the other side, the second was some writing left on the box.

Your cell number along with a note,

Her loss, call me ;)

———————————

Apologies for the clunkiness I’m still getting back in the swing of writing between a new job and BG3 stealing me away (gettin all the kisses from my virtual husband Halsin 😘)

Taglist: @melodygatesauthor @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ominoose @romana-after-dark @lunar-ghoulie @flowercrownonapegion @howellatme @mooksmouse @ahookedheroespureheart @beezusvreeland @auntiegigi @moonkxit @faretheeoscar

[demonicnarwhale]

just like many things I'll start something then toss it aside and we've done this before but here's the protocol: Eel saying she has this file on her computer for a long while now. And she knows she won't get back to this any time soon so here we go

Ok here's some explanation to this whole jazz:

Due to Scratch being like fuchsia blood (because of course) and so the Felt all wear some sort of uniform looking clothes. Tie in to how all wear similar green suits and stuff. And of course their blood colors are placed on them ya know.

(Minus HK posing as an olive as she's a lime, she doesn't have any powers as a lime. Like no ability to shoosh or calm high bloods lol. I just think it's funny and allows for there to be a reason that HK's there. Aka Scratch intimidation, she works as a cleaner so she doesn't have to worry about her getting hurt/blood reveal moment, and she'd rather not get caught by some other trolls or something tee hee)

Here's some silly info: (some stuff has been changed from previous post from some days or month(s) ago)

Heights aren't like up to date as the line up is really just to show their clothes and designs (or lack of)

Matchstick while a burgundy his sign is supposed to also kinda resemble wings. Like it's the most "trust me you gotta squint" sort of shit. But it's cuz I wanna give him a moth (perhaps plus some other animal) sort of lusus cuz hah light. Fire. He extinguishes fire but like haha lusus attracted to the light. and and and and and and and eel is trying her best here

Stitch is the only goldie but it's just funny that not only does he have no psionics to start off with, but also just like his og one eye got fucked up. So even if he did then it's like real weak. Just cuz like eye retina(??) and brain yeah im no surgeon

Sawbucks and Quarters to me are just like the guys who can take a fuck ton of hits? so indigo. yeah. that's all. Like Cans ofc can but I also just think of him more in an offense manner and Quarters takes up the defense

Die gets the cone of shame. fucking loser.

I was entertaining the idea of Clover and HK switching blood colors just cuz I can go "Haha Clover's soooo lucky that he's still alive" yadda yadda. But then, he wouldn't be able to get all weird and freaky with chuckle voodoo stuff. Yeah should he have that access? No :)

I could've made Trace a violet too but I felt like in their sprites, Fin (to me) is much more obvious to being a shark. Like look at that fuckin mug ya know? So i just went with making just Fin a violet.

the idea was to keep it where like there's more lowbloods than highbloods but ya know what. Just realized the only three midbloods I got are fucking Die Crowbar and Snowman. The sequence (ok I'll probably add someone else to the midbloods)

While I could've just made their blood off of like their ball or hat color, I felt like it'd be fun to see what blood color id assign them considering like their attributes or personalities like Itchy to me is an olive as I like to think that olives can be more rowdy or energetic? yeahhh like ofc not all but just for this yes

Also the idea of Itchy being a goldie sounds disastrous

Oh SHIT SAWBUCK IS A TEAL IM CHANGING HIM TO A TEAL OHAGUH

Doze is a burgundy but also like his sign a 2 and and anddd hourglass looking hehehe

Itchy was supposed to look like that dangly bit from the grandfather clock. And the others I gave up trying to implement some time looking reference

I know Snowy's pants are like so obvious cuz hahah spider web haha but BUT I AM SO HAPPY FOR HOW IT LOOKS. LIKE PANTS BUT COULD LOOK LIKE A SKIRT DRESS THING IF STANDING LEGS CLOSED AND AOUGH YEAHHHH

Oh yeah I'll also be adding or trying to come up with their clothes when not in uniform but that's a maybe. Maybe. There's ideas like I got Clover and Fin's but the others? yeah good luck.

Also I just really like ponchos or like the coat duster thingy yeahhhh

Also also PS. if there's like any questions please feel free to ask just cuz there's some other things I wanna talk about but it's either for characters not here or I am blanking

[redheadspark]

19 with Oliver Wood please👉👈

A/N - This is CUTE for Oliver! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Know So

Summary - Sometimes Oliver needs some words of encouragement when it comes to being the Quidditch Captain

Warnings - Just some fluff :)

As soon as you plopped down next to Oliver, you knew he was thinking too deep in his head.

The Three Broomsticks was not as crowded that night since it was during the week and most of the students were out shopping at either Zonkos or Honeydukes.  It was one of the very rare nights that Hogwarts students were allowed to come to Hogsmeade for a few hours before curfew, and the ones who were allowed to come had excellent marks in their classes.  Mostly it was 6th and 7th years, those who worked hard and had their noses in their books then causing trouble. It was also meant for Prefects and Quidditch Captains, which was why both you and Oliver were there with the older students. 

Being a co-captain with Oliver Wood was no easy task, but he was the one who handpicked you.  You both were in the same year and started Quidditch on the Gryffindor team at the same time as 2nd year.  You saw his competitiveness and thirst to win, not to mention his natural talent on the broom and as the keeper.  You were just as good, but Oliver was always a pinch better, which was why he was chosen to be the Captain when Oliver was a 5th year.  There was no need to be jealous of that achievement since you knew Oliver earned it with the hours at practice and the plenty of scrapes and broken bones.  But was surprised you was that he wanted you to be his co-captain the next year when you two were 6th years.  There has never been a co-captain in Hogwarts quidditch history, and he had to get special permission from both Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall.  Both of them agreed, which to the dismay of Slytherin house.

In the end, you were grateful that Oliver chose you to work alongside him, you thinking that he needed more strategy.  But he confessed how you were more leveled headed when it came to making plays and handling stress, and he wanted someone to counter him when he got stressed.  You were a great player nonetheless, a great Chaser and reserve Beater when one of the twins was out.  Oliver loved watching you play and talking to you about things to improve on, so this past recent practice you could tell he had something on his mind.  He was not entirely focused, not like how he would usually be.  So when the rest of the team left for the showers, you pulled him aside and suggested the pair of you unwind at the Three Broomsticks.

He accepted, showing off the handsome smile on his face as you clasped him on the shoulder. 

“Here,” You said, handed him his Buttebeer while you sat next to him with yours in your hand, “Wanna tell me what’s going on?  You look like you’re in deep thought,”

He gave you a questioning look, “What makes ya think I’m in deep thought?” He countered back as you raised a brow at him.

“I’ve known you since our first year, Oliver.  You can tell me,” You reasoned, seeing him paused as he held his Butterbeer glass in hand, “You always seemed to overthink about a lot of things, especially when it comes to Quidditch.  Wanna tell me why you’re overthinking?”

Oliver sighed, tapping the glass with his fingers as you took a long sip from your own glass and waited for his answer.  Seeing how he still seemed a bit stiff and uneasy, almost sitting a bit too stiff like a breeze would  knock him over.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not doin’ a good enough job as the captain,” He said in a grumble, you looking at him in shock as he was watching the bubble in his drink rise up a bit, “I mean, I know I push the team a lot and I make the practices go longer, but maybe I go too far when it comes to—“

“Oliver, you are not a bad captain,” You interrupted him as he looked over at you and you smiled at hime, “I know for a fact you’re a great captain!  The other do too, and although they grumble a bit at times, they still think you’re great,”

That perked Oliver up a bit from hearing that from you, though he eyed you with a hint of suspicion, “You think so? I really value yer opinion and I wanna know from ya,”

“Since when do I lie to you?” You asked with a playful shove of your shoulder against his, seeing his smile not leave his face as you went on, “Let’s be honest: the others may give you slack from time to time, but I know they would follow your calls in every game.  They know you’re a great leader and captain because you care about them.  Remember that one time you told the twins to back off from decking the Slytherin Beaters when they were targeting me that one game?”

You remember that game very well, how nasty it was, and how brutal the Southern team was being against the Gryffindor team.  The two beaters on the Slytherin team made it a plan to target you and try to take you out since you were raking up the points.  One bludger was close enough to make you fall off your broom, barely missing your head as the twins were about to retaliate.  You were fine, spooked but fine nonetheless as Olive barked orders at them to back down.  Luckily, Harry snagged the snitch just in time to win the game and to give the Slytherin team scowl looks of defeat.  

“They were gifts for doin’ that to you,” Oliver grumbled, you knowing he was talking about the Slytherin beaters.

“But still, you made sure the twins weren’t going to make fools of themselves.  And I recall that one time you helped me out when I wasn’t feeling confident enough, back when you asked me to be your co-captain,” You explained, seeing Oliver scan your eyes for a moment bringing up that other memory.  You were hesitant in taking on the role, though Oliver seemed so confident about the choice he made.  You two were sitting in the stands side by side, the sun going down over the Scotland mountains as you were questioning if he made the right choice in choosing you.

“You’re gonna be great helpin’ the team, and helpin’ me,” Oliver explained to you as you were fiddling with your practice robes, “You’re great at the game and I can’t think of any other person in working alongside me,”

You eyed him with suspicion, seeing his glorious smile as the setting sun was setting on his face, and made his chocolate eyes twinkle a bit more.  You saw it in how he was watching you, how close he was to you in fact that he was telling the truth.

“You think so?” You asked tentatively.  Oliver nodded, his smile never leaving his face.

“I know so,” he replied.

“You’re an amazing captain because you’re an amazing person,” You reassured him, seeing his smile once again as you two were sitting in the booth.  It was evident that his mood was lifted, he was no longer in his funk and he held up his glass to you.

“Thanks,” He replied, you raising your glass to touch his.

“Anytime,” You hummed, the pair of you taking a long drink from your glasses.  You had no idea that Oliver was insanely moved by what you said, making his intense crush on you deepen by the second.

The End

April Prompt Session

[tabl3]

elite force incorrect quotes compilation

chase, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

-

chase: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. bree: All I drank was Redbull! chase: How many? bree: Eighteen.

-

oliver: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. kaz, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

-

kaz: You have any sunscreen? skylar: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— kaz: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

-

kaz: Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

-

(the saga)

bree: chase? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry? chase: bree, I swear to god—

-

oliver: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. chase: oliver: Vroom vroom, come out already.

-

skylar: You didn’t cry when bambi’s mother died?! chase, sarcastically: Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.

-

chase, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

-

bree, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! skylar, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. kaz: What the fuck are you guys doing? bree: Playing systemic oppression.

-

bree: Hey, oliver. These candies you gave me? They sucked. oliver: But you ate them all. bree: I had to make sure they all sucked.

-

skylar: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke? chase: I only like dark humor. skylar, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? chase: skylar: An IMPASTA!

-

bree: I hate you sometimes. kaz: Well according to this picture chase drew of us holding hands that's not true. bree: kaz, you drew that. kaz: It doesn't matter.

-

skylar: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. bree: Why’d you get banned? skylar: Touched the rat. bree: … What rat? skylar: Chunky Cheese.

-

bree: Why is skylar crying on the floor? chase: She took one of those 'which elite force member are you?' quizzes. bree: And? chase: She got oliver.

-

oliver: Why are you drinking? kaz: I drink when I'm depressed. oliver: But you're always drinking? kaz: smug grin

-

skylar: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project? kaz: Do it or you're straight. skylar: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

-

skylar: heading out to see bree oliver: Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! skylar: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

-

kaz: skylar has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all she says now. Everything is deez nuts. She simply can't stop. kaz: I asked skylar where she learned that joke. She made me promise she wouldn't get in trouble if she told me. I agreed. kaz: So she leans in and whispers, "deez nuts."

-

bree: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. chase: Aw… that's not true. chase: It'd be exactly the same. chase: You're not important.

-

kaz, to bree: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! bree: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away chase, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call bree cute or small.

-

chase, referring to oliver and kaz: Those guys are dorks. skylar: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

-

kaz: I think chase is in trouble. oliver: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

-

oliver: So anyways have y'all seen chase? bree: I think he went in kaz's room 'studying'. skylar: Doubt that. I heard groans there. Meanwhile in kaz's room chase & kaz, fighting:

-

chase: What do we say when life disappoints us? kaz: Called it! chase: No.

-

kaz: I may be stupid. bree: … kaz: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

-

villain: You’re too late, Superdorks! You'll never stop me now! skylar: That’s where you’re wrong, evildoer! We WILL stop you, with the powers of: chase: Friendship! kaz: Harmony! bree: Incredible violence. oliver: And love!

-

chase: out cold on the ground oliver: Oh my god, do you think he's okay?! kaz, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on chase’s face

-

skylar: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting. kaz: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold. oliver: I think this message is extremely valid, but also kaz has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth? kaz: I want to set it off.

-

oliver: We wouldn’t last two minutes without chase. oliver: oliver: Don’t tell him I said that.

-

oliver: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! chase: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

-

kaz: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth. oliver: Why? kaz, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

-

bree: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

-

kaz: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. skylar: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

-

chase: I owe you one. kaz: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

-

skylar: Two years ago, I married my best friend. skylar: kaz is still mad about it, but me and chase were drunk and thought it was funny.

-

chase: Oh, so you two are getting along very… cordial now? kaz: Cordial? Nah, we're friends. chase: Friends? kaz: Yeah. After you stopped us fighting, we got to talking. Seems like we have some common interests. bree: We both love butterflies. chase: Aww– bree: And beating people up. chase: Oh, okay.

-

chase: Everyone synchronise your watches. skylar: I don't know how to do that. oliver: I don't wear a watch. bree: Time is a construct.

-

kaz: Are you reading fan fiction? oliver, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. kaz: Oh, is it on AO3? oliver: This is CNN.

-

chase: Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

-

skylar: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t. chase: skylar, please! skylar: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

-

chase: How do you do that? kaz: I'm fearless. bree: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. kaz: I'm mostly fearless.

-

chase: Come on, skylar. Nobody actually believes that kaz is in love with me. skylar, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that kaz is helplessly in love with chase. Everyone raises their hand chase: kaz, put your hand down.

-

skylar: We need to distract these guys. kaz: Leave it to me. kaz: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. chase & bree: immediately begin arguing

-

kaz: running towards chase with open arms chase: moves out of the way kaz: Hey, why'd you move?! chase: I thought you were going to attack me. kaz: I was going to hug you! chase: Why would you hug me? kaz: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

-

chase: skylar, I think we have a problem. skylar: What, the fire? chase: No, the- wait, what fire? skylar: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

-

chase: I called you like ten times! Why didn’t you pick up? oliver: remembers dancing to the ringtone oliver: I didn’t hear it.

-

bree: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? oliver: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. kaz: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. chase: Rock also defeats baby.

-

oliver: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. oliver: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

-

bree, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? skylar: grabs and chugs the entire bottle skylar: skylar: It's perfume.

-

kaz: I want to kiss you. chase, not paying attention: What? kaz: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

oliver: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. bree: bree: I'm gonna tell him. skylar: Don't you dare.

-

oliver: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. kaz: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? oliver: NO-

-

oliver: Not to brag, but I can go into the Spirit Halloween without crying.

-

chase: What do people in relationships even do? skylar: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. chase: Okay. Didn't ask. kaz: Asks question kaz: "Didn't ask" chase: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

-

oliver: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. chase: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. kaz: Wasps? bree: Terriers? oliver: bree.

[starpirateee]

Alr Imma do something complicated unexpected and suggest some Shitty Cops (Bailey and Sam)

You're welcome, Oz <3

Oh my god shitty cops in my inbox 😭 this will be a pleasure and a curse, these two are so awful...

Uhhh @oswaldpettyeye , Nab wanted you to see this so... C'mere, take your shitty cops and their shitty requited pining that makes them argue like an old married couple

Pre tw for blood, death and vomiting

--

The team pushed open the door, flashlight beams bouncing off the walls. It had been almost twenty years since he'd been at Hatchetfield High, but much like the rest of this town, it hadn't changed in the slightest.

The first thing he saw when he entered was the message written out on the wall. The light from hid torch reflected off it, adding a certain ominous shine to the lettering. It looked like paint, but on closer inspection, he found that not to be the case at all.

"That's fuckin' blood," he declared, unable to do anything but stare as the viscous red dripped down the wall.

As more of the squad investigated the writing, he moved further into the locker room, feeling a wave of nausea overcome him. This wasn't happening. For god's sake, he was Sam fucking Sweetly, he didn't get grossed out by some crime scene. That wasn't him.

For the time being, he swallowed that back and tried to continue on his investigation. He pushed open the door to one of the toilet stalls, having followed a trail of blood on the ground, and peered inside. Led by the torch beam, he scanned the tiny space, and felt his stomach drop as the pit of nausea returned in an instant.

"Holy shit-"

There was a boy, face down on the ground. His blood stained the floor, the edge of the seat, and most of the clothing that was visible. The kid's hair was soaked, his body was bloated, and his skin was already greying.

Sam ran to the next stall along, tripping over himself, and barely managed to pull his hair back before he vomited.

 

--

 

"How fast can you get here?"

"Hatchetfield High? I'll be there in ten."

Bailey sauntered into the break room, looking to grab himself a drink. Technically, he could be at the high school in five minutes; he was allowed to break the speed limit if he needed to. Before he got into that, though, he was going to pick up a coffee.

Immediately, he noticed Sam, lounging against one of the chairs with a glass in hand. Bailey didn't know whether it was just the bright lights, or whether there was something wrong, but he looked a little paler than usual.

"Sam?"

Sam looked up, at least acknowledging the presence of the other officer. "Oliver."

Bailey's brow creased. "What happened? Where's everyone else?"

"It's just me." Sam leaned back, finishing off his glass and running his free hand over his face. "I'm not going back to that fuckin' school."

"Why not?"

"None of ya damn business!"

Bailey held up his hands. One moment, he was focusing on the way Sam looked at him, seemingly more alarmed that he'd chosen to ask than defensive over the actual answer. The next moment, still wondering why he'd been called in to replace this guy of all people, he had averted his attention in order to pour himself the coffee that had been brewing. "Geez, it was just a question..."

"Well, lay off."

He was pale. That wasn't a trick of the light. Sam was washed out and pallid, his forehead still slick with sweat despite his efforts to keep it at bay. If Bailey had been paying more attention, he would've noticed the way Sam was gripping the glass so hard that his knuckles had gone white, but he wasn't, so he didn't.

Closing the lid on his cup, he turned around and leaned against the counter, glancing in Sam's direction. He slipped the shades from his top pocket and over his eyes. "I got called in as your replacement, I just wanna know what I'm dealing with here."

"Murder." Sam's answer came quickly, bluntly. A manner that was fully expected. "Dead body. All that shit."

Bailey's eyebrow quirked. "... What's the matter, Sweetly? Scared of a little blood?"

Sam snarled, his gaze snapping over his shoulder to meet Bailey's. "Shut the fuck up and do your goddamn job, Bailey."

As he walked out, Sam swore he heard a huff of laughter. He cursed under his breath and sank back into the chair. What an asshole.

 

--

 

Bailey arrived late. This was a surprise to nobody. In fact, there was someone waiting outside to point him in the right direction, and he hadn't checked his watch once. When the squad car pulled up to the school's parking lot, he just hummed, awaiting the other officer. "Bailey. Here for Sweetly, I'm guessing?"

"Yep," Bailey looked around as he approached, as if Sam had followed him or something. "What happened to him? He refused to tell me..."

"He refused to tell you? Well, he got in there, saw the body, and vomited. Immediately."

Bailey scoffed initially. "Nah, no way. He wouldn't, he's too-" then it clicked. He remembered the state that Sam was in when he'd found him. His pallid face, the size of that glass of water... His eyes went wide. "Wait, are you fucking serious?"

In return, he got a nod that almost forced a bark of involuntary laughter out of him.

"Sweetly ralphed?!"

"Body was found in the locker room, thank god. He made it to one of the open stalls... Didn't contaminate the crime scene or anything, but he was a fucking mess."

Still is.

That much went unsaid. Bailey decided to give Sam a little bit of his dignity. Not like he deserved it, but he was still recovering! Maybe he'd goad him for it later... To his face, perhaps. He really was scared of a little blood...

For now, he cut him a little slack. He was already gonna get it for deciding to call himself "Hatchetfield's Finest", rubbing it in now was only setting him up for worse, and Bailey wanted to make this last.

"Show me this shit, I think I have to see what all the damn fuss is about."

The two of them made their way to the locker room. As their footsteps echoed through the hallways, Bailey momentarily let himself feel a little nervous. Sam was known for being the toughest guy in the precinct. He was a loudmouth, sure, but he usually followed through on his threats. The fact that the crime scene made him vomit had to mean it was pretty damn serious.

And serious, it was.

He got the chance to look over the body of the boy, the locker room itself, and the message on the wall. Immediately, he saw why Sam had felt so nauseous: this was an absolute mess, and that poor kid had really gotten the worst of it from whoever did this.

"Jesus, talk about a bully, huh?" He said aloud, thinking about the facts. This kid was drowned in the toilet, for god's sake, that was a classic move! They'd been doing it since he was in highschool!

"Huh?"

All attention was suddenly on him. He stopped in his tracks when he realised the conversation had died off completely. "What?"

"A bully?"

"Uh, yeah? Face down in the fuckin toilet? That's a classic bully move! This kid quite literally got bullied to death, ain't it obvious?"

"So... What? We're looking for someone this kid's age?"

Bailey shrugged. "Didn't say that. Could be someone who never grew outta old habits, wanted to make things look interesting." He was pretty convinced that this was the work of someone of a similar age; the writing on the wall gave that one away. The words Nerdy Prudes Must Die weren't generally something a self respecting adult would write, even if they were out for blood.

A sudden thought crossed his mind, another case they'd been running before this murder came up. There had been someone else disappear from this school not two weeks ago. Sure they hadn't actually found any leads yet, but this couldn't be a coincidence. "Hey, we got a name for this kid yet?"

"Mhm, coroner has him identified as... Richard Lipschitz."

"Didn't some kid go missing from here a couple weeks back?"

"The football star? Jägerman?"

Okay, so Lipschitz definitely didn't look like a football star, but Bailey couldn't exactly say he'd been paying full attention to that case when it came up. All he knew was some teenager had turned up missing from Hatchetfield High, and now another had been killed.

"You think they're related? The cases?"

"... Could be."

 

--

 

By the time Bailey got back to the precinct, Sam had long since passed the point of forcing himself to work to make himself look better. One thing was for sure, and that was hat he definitely looked a little more alive than the last time Bailey had seen him.

He managed to stop him when they were passing in the corridor, which managed to agitate him enough as it was, but when he looked up straight into Bailey's eyes, he scowled.

"What?"

"... Farris told me." Bailey admitted. "Everything."

"Oh that fucking snake." Sam hissed, the fire behind his eyes igniting. "And what? You come to gloat about how right you were? Fucking hell, you're such a child."

Bailey faltered. He'd never liked admitting he was wrong, and Sam didn't deserve the satisfaction of it, but he had been wrong, when it came down to it. He sighed. "Jesus Christ... No, I- you were-"

Never before had he sounded like such a stuttering prick. The hell was his problem?

"Nah, y'know, I don't think you'd have been the only one to ralph after seeing that shit."

Sam smirked like his cocky edge had never been lost. "What's the matter, Oliver, scared of a little blood?"

[justlwrites]

random hc of sun & moon characters

characters :: gladion, lillie, kukui, guzma, burnet

Gladion

a fan of piers (idk man)

prob listen to piers songs when hes doing things

acts tough around people, but is actually very soft and cute

plays bottle flip when hes bored

a weeb

Lillie

makes a "gladion is cute" fanclub

(this is when shes still scared to touch pokemon) when you show her your pokemon thats not in alola, shell act all brave but when your pokemon gets close shell prob scream

she can make any person thats sad feel happy just by smiling at them (shes very very cute)

Kukui (imagine hes single ok— your his age btw)

i imagine him being flirty… to someone his age ofcourse–

he likes to workout with his pokemon

idk why but if he has any sosials i feel like his comments r all "ndjsji step on me" "bark bark bark woof woof" "i can be a maid–"

im a simp for this man (and his wife… i like his wife more ngl)

Guzma

not a hc but i just wanna say that, in the game theres like a battle with guzma but before that he said "well ___ its time to battle your boy! what did you think i asked you to come here for?"

he sleeps shirtless.

guzma probably sees his past self in gladion (i have so much angst hc that stems from this hc man)

he probably wants to grow out his beard and make it like a scruffy beard

idk he gives oliver aiku from blue lock vibes man

yknow how he always says "its ya boi guzma" , idk why but i imagine the protagonist/you will flirt with guzma by saying like "so you wanna be mine?" and hell get flustered

ok so theres also a sentence he says after he beats you, he said "hey whats up with you?! why cant i smash you?!" like same guzma… why cant i smash you

burnet (imagine shes single–your her age)

she looks like someone who will call you "good girl/boy"

thats… thats my only hc about her–

hm, ok bye

[m3gahet]

I wrote a fun little scenario featuring @thatwritingho ‘s Olive, Robin, and the boys. You can read it under the cut it was fun to do <3

This was weird.

The four of them are just hanging out in Robin's living quarters, shooting the shit as the manager chops away at some seriously large onions. It was rare to be invited into the scarily neat flat. Alabaster walls, marble floors, sleek black furniture.

It wasn't exactly inviting but Olive assumed that was exactly the blond's intention.

With that thought in her head it was even weirder watching her almost seem relaxed, especially with Pickles and Skwisgaar around. Olive held a smug sense of pride in being part of the selective few Robin didn't hate from the get go. She found herself watching mindlessly as the three joked around, a snicker escaping her watching Pickles almost fall off the barstool as Robin tossed something his way. She didn't snap out of it until realizing her attention was being demanded by the drummer.

“You good?” He asked, pierce brow raised and green eyes soft with concern. She sat up straighter on her stool and attempted to catch up on the current topic of discussion.

Which had apparently become knives.

“It seems like it sharps.” Skwisgaar stated, clearly confused by something.

“It's sharp, just not sharp enough.” Robin explains. She lifts the cutting board and sweeps the onions into a pan, sizzling as they hit the hot metal.

“But in the movies-”

“Skwisgaar, those are movies.” Robin is still holding the large kitchen knife as she puts a fist on her hip. Only the petite blonde could exclude that kind of intimidating energy in a pink apron and her fine hair in pigtails. “I'm not saying you couldn't fuck a dude up I'm just saying you'd need a good amount of force behind it.” Olive gets a kick out of the soft pout the guitarist gives feeling scolded.

“I feel like that hurt worse, ya know?” Pickles adds, looking to Olive for confirmation.

“Oh fuck yeah.” She exclaims, leaning onto the island counter. “Think about it like this. If a blade is sharp enough you might not even notice you've been sliced but a dull blade?” She grins at the morbid mental image she's begun to paint in her friends minds. “You gotta really hate the fucker to put them through that.”

“Brutal.” Skwisgaar says simply, Pickles nods in agreement before taking a swig of his beer. Weird as the whole situation is, it's kind of comfortable? It's nice to see Robin as relaxed as she can manage and the boys are always fun to be around. “How do yous even know dats?” Skwisgaar asks as Robin moves around him.

“Robbi would be into knife play.” Olive jokes before bursting into laughter at the guitarist's fearful expression and the way Pickles chokes on his own laughter.

“She's definitely got the rage fer it.” Pickles muses after clearing his throat with the aid of Olive patting his back firmly. She doesn't remove it from its place even with the drummer's airway cleared. The two of them snicker at Skwisgaar's visible concern.

“Ams you hearing dis?” He asks, He jumps feeling small hands on his waist before shoving him slightly.

“I said you could be in my space if you were useful.” Robin scolds. Olive wonders if she had even heard the discussion before seeing a rare glint in her dark eyes. “Why? You wanna find out?” She teases, lifting the edge of the knife towards him. Skwisgaar swallows hard before pushing her wrist down with a glare.

“That's not an answer, ya know?”

[pretty-boy-streaming]

Little Brother ((Pt. 2) Aiku Oliver)

TV-MA: teasing, possessiveness, kissing, implied sex (maybe it happened, maybed it didn't... it totally happened) aiku is very possessive, flirting with other guys, sendou does not find out... yet, ftm!reader, reader is sendou's younger bro (again)

read part one here

"Eh, you wanna come over again?"

Sendou looked up and narrowed his eyes at Aiku. He continued to tie his shoes.

"I dunno, my brother's gonna be there. I anticipate he's going to be annoying again."

"He wasn't annoying last time." Aiku snickered. "He was very welcoming last time."

"Mmn. Sure, you can come over."

"Nice." Aiku looked through a magazine. "...Your brother is pretty cool."

Sendou snorted. "I think you mean irritating."

"Nah, I mean cool. He was nice last time we visited. Showed me where the bathroom was and everything."

"Mmn. I guess he has some manners."

Aiku chuckled. "Oh yeah, he definitely has some manners."

Sendou gave him a look before they left to his house.

---

"Hey, I'm-"

Sendou and Aiku watched the scene in the living room. You, ontop of another guy, kissing him feverishly. Sendou covered his eyes, and groaned, while Aiku's eye twitched at the sight.

"Ugh! Fuck- go to your room, dammit!"

You pulled away from the boy, and glared up at him, and then your eyes slowly drifted over to Aiku who you could tell wanted to glare at you but was keeping face in front of Sendou. You sat up, straddling the guy below you.

"Yeah, I could. But he has to go anyways. Right?"

You looked down at the guy and looked at his phone. "Yeah, I gotta go." You got off of him and he stood up, beginning to leave. "I didn't believe that Sendou Shuto was actually your brother."

"Yeah, I know. Why do you think I brought you over? I could prove it that way."

"A childhood photo would've worked... but getting to kiss ya was way more worth it."

"I know." You hummed, laying across the couch.

He left the house and Sendou stalked over to you.

"Listen, you know damn well that I need to know when you're bringing anyone over. Especially if it's going to be some guy you're going to be making out with?"

"He's not some guy. He's a classmate."

"He's some guy to me!" Sendou scoffed.

"Shu, calm down, damn." You looked up at him. "Sorry for not telling you." You crossed your arms and looked away.

"Well... as long as you're safe, yeah?" He hugged you and you looked over his shoulder at Aiku.

And he... looked very pissed. You wrapped your arms around Sendou and lifted up one hand, giving him a peace sign while sticking out your tongue.

"Aiku and I will be in my room, alright? Call us if you need anything."

"Yeah, 'course."

You watched them walk up the stairs, and as they did, Aiku gave you a look, which you returned with a wink.

---

"What are you looking at?"

"A slutty ass."

You clicked a few more of your buttons on your switch, earning you a K. O. and winning the match you were playing. You clicked it off and turned around to see Aiku standing there.

"How'd you get away from him?"

"Told him I was going to the bathroom."

"You're gonna be staying longer than one normally would."

"Like you saw last time, he's a lightweight. I think he'll be asleep when I get back."

"Then why are you here, Mr. Captain?"

He walked over to you and leaned over you, caging you between his arms.

"Why were you kissing some random kid, I wonder."

You rolled your eyes. "Bored. We were waiting for a while for Shu to come home, and so while we were waiting, we thought to pass the time with some-"

Aiku captured your lips in a kiss. He pushed his tongue into your mouth and you softly moaned. He pulled back.

"Well then. I'm bored right now."

"I'm not."

"I'll make sure you are."

---

Aiku returned to Sendou's room, seeing the young man start to wake up after being in a drunken daze.

"Hrm... where where ya, man. I feel 'sleep while waitin' fer ya..."

"Sorry, your brother had asked me something, and so I gave him an autograph."

Sendou snorted. "He's jus' gon'a sell that, yknow..." He hiccuped. "Dunno why, but he jus' does..."

Aiku chuckled and took a sip of his beer. "Well, I think this autograph I gave him... it's impossible to sell."

"He'd find a way..."

Aiku scoffed and looked away. "...He better not."

[small-sinclair]

A short dabble base on this photo from @crumb

Red Buds

“Le’me see you,” you begged, giggling. “Please, Les? Please?”

His hesitation rung in his voice. “Don’t know, sweet pea. I…I feel stupid.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Honeycomb, I wanna see you!”

You looked at the closed bathroom door and waited happily. You found his suit and tie while you were doing your chores, and you just had to see him.

“Baby, please-?”

“All righ’, all/righ’… goodness, y/n. You’re impatient.” He laughed as he turned the door handle. “Jus’ don’t laugh.”

When he opened the door, you gasped softly. He combed his hair back to show off his bright red curls, and his face was smoothed and cleaned. His suit was snugged , but it fit him perfectly as it lined with his shoulders. You took in his scent and smiled when you smelt the leather and warm musk cologne.

He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing brightly. “I know, I know. I look stupid—“

“Far from it!” You said defensively. You moved from your spot and took his hands in yours, swaying on your heels. “My man looks so handsome and bright.” Your hands traveled up to his suit jacket. “You look as sweet as honey and red buds.”

His tries to look away and a goofy smile formed. “Ya promise?”

Your hand brushed through his curls as you laid a kiss on his cheek then lips. “You look like a prince, darling.” You placed another kiss over his lips, but it was deeper this time as you drunk him in. “Let me changed, too.”

“In what?” He asked breathlessly. He rested his head against your forehead.

“In something more fancier,” you played with his curls. “I feel like we should go out tonight. What do you say? The Applebees?”

“Naw,” he kisses you again. In his brown eyes, love and affection were mixed as he looked down at you. “Olive Garden. Their lightin’ makes ya look lik’ an angel.” He pulls you closer by your hips. “I wanna share bread sticks wit’ya.” he leans down and kisses you up and down.

You started giggling again. “Okay, okay!” You lift his face and gave him a big kiss. “I’ll put that outfit you like on and we can go. Sounds good?”

He kisses your nose. “Sounds perfect.”

As his arms lingered after you when you left, he couldn’t stop smiling. Luckily, you didn’t feel his pockets. If you did, you would’ve felt a little ring box.

[ghouly-boiiiii]

A Light in the Dark 🕯️

Chapter 2: Olive Branch

Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul

In this chapter...

“A deal? Didn’t you just say to trust nobody ? How can I trust you to keep your end of the bargain?” 

“Sweetheart, I thought we already established that this relationship is built on the principle of an honest exchange.” He took off his right glove and held up his index finger. “Look familiar?”

She stared at him in horror. “...You… You didn’t…” 

The Ghoul grinned in amusement and wriggled the finger at her. “You wanna know something, Vaulty? You did something no one else ever has before… Somethin’ I never even thought of…” He lowered his hand and looked down at the finger - her finger - with an odd smile on his face. “You disarmed me… I can’t shoot without that finger ya’ bit off. Without it, I’m practically defenseless.” He looked back up at her. “So… of course I had to replace it with somethin ’.” 

Lucy shook her head in disgust and disbelief as he started to put his glove back on. 

“Now… seein’ as I don’t think neither of us wanna lose any more fingers… I say we better call a truce .” 

Summary: As they begin their journey across the Wasteland, Lucy is very angry and fearful towards the Ghoul, but she wants answers. He, however, is harboring secret feelings for Lucy ever since she saved his life. Having not been with anyone since Barb, and believing she would never feel the same, the bounty hunter has to deal with these feelings on his own. Little does he know, Lucy finds herself having inexplicable feelings for him as well, and struggling to make sense of them.

Tags: Slow Burn, Romance, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Casual Sex Lucy and No Wait Let Me Court You Cooper, Cooper is touch-starved and rusty in bed, He's also self-conscious about his body, Ghoul channels old romantic Cooper, Lucy is confused by strange surface dweller mating customs, She helps him discover his old self, He helps her discover her true self, Did I mention there would be angst

Rating: Mature - Word Count: 2,913

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers. No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man and lots of angst.

After a short while, they found themselves in a small clearing on the hillside, overlooking where the forest meets the desert and somewhat hidden by thick bushes and trees. In the middle, there was the remainder of a fire pit from previous travelers, and even a few old chairs nearby.

The Ghoul stopped and scanned the area, then said, “We’ll camp here.”

Lucy looked around in dismay. “What…? But… but shouldn't we keep going? Time is of the essence, isn't it?” 

“Hey… you ever hear the story ‘bout the rabbit and the turtle?” He said as she started fixing up the fire pit.

“...You mean ‘ The Tortoise and the Hare’ ?” 

“Yeah. That's the one.” He flashed her a grin, seeming delighted she knew the correct name. “Slow and steady, Vaulty. It ain't gonna be much of a fight if you show up to find yo’ daddy all hungry and speed deprived.” After getting the pit usable again, he stood and turned to her. “Help me find some firewood, would ya?” 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to make fires after dark.” She said, remembering the late doctor's monologue the first time she’d met him.

“And why’s that?”

“...Because it attracts attention?” She said, shaking her head, confused as to why she had to explain this to him.

“Well, that’s true… but this spot is safe.” He said, then pointed at the brush that separated them from the landscape beyond. “Them bushes are thick enough so nothin’ will be able to see the fire past ‘em.” Then he pointed to the cliffside. “And ain’t nobody can see us that way neither.” Then he pointed to the trail. “And here? Anyone travelin’ won’t be able to see us ‘til we hear ‘em commin’.”

Lucy looked around at where he was pointing. Even though she didn’t like the guy, she did realize his knowledge about surviving the Wasteland was invaluable, and that she should take in every scrap he would give her. “...Should we sleep in shifts?” She asked, turning to him.

“Nah. Dog’ll let us know if anything comes ‘round.” He said, then walked to the edge of the clearing and started gathering whatever sticks, twigs and pieces of branches he could find. 

Lucy watched him for a moment, then followed suit.

Once the fire was going, The Ghoul made himself comfortable, relaxing in one of the chairs with Dogmeat by his side.

Lucy stood at the edge of the cliff, where the brush was thinner, looking out at the landscape before them. This place was so big and wide and open. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to it. And even though it was terrifying and brutal, there was a beauty to the Wasteland that she couldn’t explain. It’s sheer vastness, the feel of the wind, the smell of the air. Even though she was thrilled to be back in a vault when she and Max found themselves in Vault 4, she did find herself missing those sensations. And despite the hellish ordeal she’s found herself in, the wild surface world made her feel alive in ways she never had before. 

She held herself as her mind came back to everything that had happened. There was so much, so much she couldn’t make sense of. She tried to think back to everything that had been said at the Observatory, trying to replay the ordeal in her mind, but so much of it was a blur. 

Perhaps there was a part of her that was hoping she’d remember something... Something that made it all better. Something that made it not real. But every time she replayed it, it just became more clear.

Could it truly be? Her own father… a mass murderer? Vault-tec… never cared about saving humanity. They wanted to destroy humanity so that they could control it. This company she’d dedicated her life to. Put all her faith in. Was nothing but an evil corporation bent on world domination? Is that really what she was supposed to believe?

It was madness, and she felt mad for even considering it to be truth. But he said it himself. In his own words… you have to ‘get rid of the factions’ . It was true… Her father was a monster. 

As she stood there, she dug her fingers into her arms, as if trying to hold on to something. Her whole life, her father, Vault-Tec, they had been her anchor. The foundations of her entire world. She knew who she was, back then. She knew her purpose. It was important. She had a very important purpose. She was going to help save humanity. But now…

Here she was. With the one man she hoped she’d never find herself in the company of again. With nothing left but an undeniable need to uncover the truth.

It felt like a joke. It was all a bad joke. Her whole life was just one big practical joke. 

Lucy shook her head and wished that Max were there with them. She tried to imagine his arms around her. The warmth and comfort of his chest as he let her cry into him. But he wasn’t there. And she could thank her father for that too.

Her thoughts were suddenly disrupted when she felt The Ghoul’s imposing presence creeping up behind her. 

She quickly spun around, drew her gun, and pointed it at him. 

The Ghoul's lips curved up into a smirk, barely even acknowledging the weapon, “Jumpy, ain’cha?”, then just held out a carton of deviled eggs. “Egg?”

“I’m not hungry…”

“You should eat.”

“Why? Since when do you care about my well-being?”

“Well, I sure as hell don’t wanna carry you around the wasteland.” He said and stifled a cough.

Lucy huffed, then looked away.

The bounty hunter shut the lid, then he turned and started back towards the fire. “Come over here, Vaulty.”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “What for?” 

“...We should talk.”

The vault dweller blinked in surprise, then slowly and cautiously followed, sitting down across from him. She stared at him a moment as he got settled into his seat, then asked impatiently, “What?”

“Listen…” The Ghoul said, sitting forward in his chair. “I think… we got off on the wrong foot–”

“The wrong foot!?” She snapped angrily. “Is that what you’re going to call it!?”

“Look, I–”

“No! You look!” Lucy shouted, unable to contain her righteous indignation. “First y-you hit me in the face with your gun! Tried to feed me to that-that… creature! Poisoned me! Tied me up and dragged me around the desert! Refused to give me water! Made me cut up that nice man’s rear end! Then you cut off my finger and-and–

“Okay, but you did bite off mine first…” He said, pointing at her with the same finger, which was now replaced by hers. Although, she was not aware of that yet.

“Kidnapping!” She shouted even louder. “A-a-and attempted murder! Human trafficking, that’s what that’s called! Not ‘ getting off on the wrong foot!’ I mean, y-you tried to sell my organs! ”

The bounty hunter just exhaled and looked down at the ground. “You’re right…” Then, after a moment, he looked back up with a cheeky grin. “Maybe I should say… ‘got off on the wrong finger’ .”

Her mouth hung agape in offense and she looked away.

“...Can I talk now?”

She just crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him with disdain.

“Look… now, I know I’m probably the last person ya’ wanna be scrappin’ around with up here... And you can sit up there on your fuckin’ high horse passin’ out judgements all you want. But you outta know… I’m far from the worst thing this wasteland’s got to offer, believe it or not.”

“That is hard to believe.” She said with a sneer.

“My point is, you keep on this whole ‘holier than thou’ bullshit, sooner or later, someone’s gonna bury you. Your fuckin’ arrogance ain’t gonna keep you alive.”

Lucy glared at him a moment, then shook her head. “...I don’t think I’m better than anyone else…”

“Uh huh…” The Ghoul said skeptically.

“I-I just don’t understand why people can’t be civil up here. Why does it have to be like this?” She shook her head in confusion. “ It’s not the way people should be treating each other. People should be… working together. Helping each other! Society works much more effectively when there’s a shared sense of community and cooperation and… Well, if people up here have forgotten that…” She lifted her head up in a dignified way, almost looking down her nose at him. “ Someone has to lead by example.”

“Oh, and I suppose that’s you , huh?” He said with an amused snicker.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “ Don’t you laugh at me. I saved your life .” She reminded him firmly.

The Ghoul just shook his head as he let out another laugh, before looking down at the ground.

“I know it sounds stupid to you, but…” She paused and swallowed hard. “This is what I believe in, and… a-and it’s the right thing to believe in! Maybe you’ve given up on humanity, but I refuse to! I know we can do better than this!”

“Who are you tryin’a convince, darlin? You think all you gotta do is get on your soapbox and preach and you’ll change the fuckin’ world? Sweetheart, talk is cheap and ain’t nobody give a shit.” He eyed her intensely as he spoke. “You know what’s gonna happen, you keep this up? Same thing that’s been happenin’ to ya. Which, if I ain’t mistaken, hasn’t been too good so far.” 

She scoffed and turned away. “I guess you would know, wouldn't you?”

“Listen… I ain’t sayin’ you’re wrong. But you don’t get it.” The Ghoul said, prompting her to look back towards him as he spoke. “There are people who have a vested interest in folks not bein’ civil and cooperatin’…” He leaned in, looking her right in the eye. “You think about Shady Sands… Why, I remember… watchin’ that place turn from a small settlement to a… a real city. Almost like the old days. But then, yo’ daddy comes along and burns it to the ground.” 

Lucy blinked, then looked back towards him again. 

“All those same people, who taught you all that ‘golden rule’ bullshit? They’re all a buncha fuckin’ liars. You know why they want’cha ta’ believe in all that shit? We’ll, I’ll tell ya’. Because it makes you weak … Easy to take advantage of…” 

The vault dweller looked up at him, narrowing her eyes in thought. “...Why would you say that?”

“I’m just bein’ honest wit’cha. You think I’ve been wonderin’ this wasteland for two-hundred years just to not know what the fuck I’m talkin’ about? Or would you rather I lie to ya and tell ya everythang’s gonna be fuckin’ peachy keen?”

Her eyes drifted to the ground and she shook her head. “No…”

“No, what?”

“I don’t want you to lie to me.”

“Good.” He said firmly. “Cause ain’t nobody gonna go outta they way to accommodate your fucking vaulty sensibilities up here, you got that?” 

Lucy let her arms drop to her lap and hung her head away from him, not saying a word.

The Ghoul looked at her a moment, then his gaze dropped down to the ground and he let out a deep exhale. “Look…” He said quietly. “I know you hate me… and you’re right to…” He looked back up at her. “But there’s a reason I asked ya to come with me. And it ain’t just because I need yo help to find yo’ daddy neither…”

The vault dweller blinked, then looked up at him again.

“I underestimated you… Ms. Lucy MacLean.” He said and rolled his tongue over his teeth. “I thought you was just some dumbass vault dweller, bound to get ‘cherself killed anyway… But you got fight in ya…” He pointed at her as he spoke. “You got what it takes to survive out here... You just need someone to show you the ropes… And I’m willin’ ta’ do that for ya’.” 

“Oh, really? And why’s that?” She asked skeptically.

“Because I owe you. Golden rule … right?”

Lucy blinked and waited for him to continue.

“Let me explain somethin’ to ya, Vaulty…” He said, then reached into his pocket, pulled out his inhaler and held it up to her. “You were right about one thang. This shit’s all that’s keepin’ me from turnin’ out like yo’ mama back there. And it ain’t cheap neither.” He put his arm down and looked at her, his voice very serious. “Now, I know you ain’t dumb. So I figure you can put two and two together… But we both needed that head for a reason. You just happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time… that’s all.”

“That’s all?” She retorted quickly.

“Well, it ain’t like it was nothin’ personal, darlin’.”

“So… you agree then…? With the Golden Rule… You said it only works if people agree, so…”

“...I know it probably don’t mean much…” He simply continued. “And you don’t have to forgive me, but… I wanna apologize… for what I done to ya.”

Lucy blinked in surprise. “...You’re apologizing?”

“You’re right… We both lookin’ for the same thing. And we’ll be more likely to find it if we work together. And if we're gonna work together, we gotta communicate. But we can’t do that unless we can trust each other.”

“Trust you? You want me to trust you?” She scoffed.

“I don’t want you to trust nobody. ” He said sternly. “That’s why we ought to make a deal.”

“A deal? Didn’t you just say to trust nobody ? How can I trust you to keep your end of the bargain?” 

“Sweetheart, I thought we already established that this relationship is built on the principle of an honest exchange.” He took off his right glove and held up his index finger. “Look familiar?”

She stared at him in horror. “...You… You didn’t…” 

The Ghoul grinned in amusement and wriggled the finger at her. “You wanna know something, Vaulty? You did something no one else ever has before… Somethin’ I never even thought of…” He lowered his hand and looked down at the finger - her finger - with an odd smile on his face. “You disarmed me… I can’t shoot without that finger ya’ bit off. Without it, I’m practically defenseless.” He looked back up at her. “So… of course I had to replace it with somethin ’.” 

Lucy shook her head in disgust and disbelief as he started to put his glove back on. 

“Now… seein’ as I don’t think neither of us wanna lose any more fingers… I say we better call a truce .” 

She looked over at him as a realization hit her… He was talking to her as if she were his equal. 

He held a hand out towards her. “So… I ain’t gonna hurt’cha… and you ain’t gonna hurt me… Deal?”

The vault dweller narrowed her eyes at him. She wasn’t sure if she bought it. Could he really see her as an equal threat? That seemed rather impossible. But either way, she wasn’t about to let her guard down. Still, a peace negotiation was certainly a…. step in the right direction. 

“Alright… We work together… The enemy of my enemy…” She said, reaching her hand out.

His lips curved into a smirk. “...Is my friend.” 

With that, they shook on it.

“But this doesn’t mean I trust you. And we’re not friends.” 

He just kept smiling at her. “Good.” 

As they let go, Lucy noticed the feeling of something cool hitting her skin. Then another. Then another.

She looked around for a moment in confusion, then down at her arm where she found a tiny water droplet. Suddenly, more came down from above, and it finally occurred to her what it must be as she craned her head up towards the sky.

“Goddamnit.” The Ghoul said in dismay as he looked up as well.

Lucy's reaction was very different, though. Slowly, she started to stand up as she looked towards the heavens. “Is this… rain?” A wide smile grew on her face as she held her hand up to catch the droplets.

The bounty hunter kept his eyes on her as she stepped out into the clearing, watching the rain come down in awe. Suddenly, there was a flash, and a moment later thunder rippled across the sky, causing her to jump and scream.

Her reaction caused The Ghoul to burst into laughter.

The sheltered vault dweller was too excited to be concerned over his amusement. She started jumping up and down and squealing, “This is rain! It’s rain! Oh my God!” She turned to him suddenly. “I’ve read about this! I’ve wanted to see it my whole life! I was so worried it wasn’t going to happen, but here it is!!” She looked back up at the sky. “Oh, it’s amazing! And it’s so loud!!”

As the old bounty hunter watched her skip and howl, he tilted his head and just stared curiously. 

Once she finally noticed him staring, she realized what she was doing and stopped, straightening herself up and clearing her throat. “Sorry. I’m, uh… I-I’m excited about this.” She said, trying to sound somewhat serious.

He just grinned at her in amusement. “I can tell.”  To be continued...

[slashingdisneypasta]

Wayne Jackson x Reader || Oneshot

Plot: Lyle demands that you find some nice clothes for Wayne so that he can be seen with him in public and not be embarrassed. Simultaneously, you're dealing with a particularly bad Tinder match sending you eggplants.

You help Wayne to be presentable and Wayne helps you to make a wierdo leave you alone.

Warnings: Sexual references as well as mentions of dick picks.

*I wanted to write for Greasy and Wheezy Weasel... but also Jim Bickerman... this is the natural conclusion XD

Tagging: @masqueradeball and @slxsherwriter

"Ooookay, look... " You feel like a master chef judge except theirs no cake, there's just Wayne. Disappointing. "The outfit is fine, you cant go wrong with a clean shirt and jeans." Clearing your throat, you turn promptly to the men's jackets section of T.K. Max, wondering to the medium section and giving the choices a quick overlook. "You just need a good coat- because this jean jacket and hoodie combination is not it. You're a 60 year old man not a 19 year old drug dealer, dress like it."

"Thought I was."

"No."

Giving a sigh as you look through the options, because this is absolutely not what you would like to be doing today (Though, it still beat answering the phone right now), you pick out a few of the coats and hand them over to Wayne. You choose a coat in off-white, too, but pause. You look at him and screw up your nose in a wince, considering what he does for a living. He shakes his head. No. Bad idea. Put it back.

Shame; he'd look good in white.

"Anyway, we'll also pick up a few more shirts and jeans because you cant live on a rotation of 3 to 2 ratio. No. We might get you a haircut too, and maybe- "

"God. You wanna shave me, too??" He cuts you off, and you hear the exaggerated sarcasm clear as day, but still give him a deeply unamused.

"No, the beard's sexy." You say bluntly, feeling your phone buzz in your back pocket and fighting off a frustrated sigh; knowing exactly who it was from. "-Thats your only redeeming feature right now. Don't say crazy stuff like that!, because I do not have the patience for it today."

The man gives you a sheepish shrug, but looks wholly shut up. "... jeez... You're a real ball a' joy, today."

You feel the tell-tale buzz again, and let air whisper out from between your lips in frustration. "... you have no idea."

"Great." Wayne rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at this whole situation just like you. And you get it- if your cousin said he was embarrassed of you and demanded someone else take you out and dress you at the crack of dawn on a Saturday then you'd be pretty damn annoyed, too. You're about to offer an olive branch, ask if he wants to get something to drink before you start, but then a mischievous vulgar grin spreads across his rough-looking face and immediately you groan. Before words even come out. This goddamn man- "... Hey, I do like to hear ya think I'm sexy, though. How about that, huh?"

Without a word, you deadpan-point him towards the changing rooms.

~

Its a couple of hours later and- to be honest- you are in a better mood, now. This is definitely better then answering your Tinder messages, at least. For sure.

At first all the two of you did was argue, until you marched him out of the store to get a coffee. You found, after that, that you were both far more likeable people with a caffeinated/sugary drink in your hands. You got along a lot better, then.

After a few try-on's, you both agreed on a plain old grey long coat. not quite a trench coat, because he's creepy enough you think, but nothing fancy either, with nice deep pockets. That feature particularly made him happy, and you couldn't blame him. Pockets make you happy, too. You didn't think about what he might want to put in the pockets, though he did try to tell you. You didn't want to know.

"No- but wait, see here?? I could totally fit a- "

"Thats okay Wayne, I don't need to know."

"B- "

"No."

*Huff* "Suit yourself. ... Hm, but I might even be able to get me in here some- " This man chose to look up and wriggle his eyebrows at you, almost causing you to choke on a laugh. Almost. "You know."

Okay, you're not made of stone. At this you did snort; shaking your head. "No, I don't know."

"... you wanna?"

"Nope."

Now Wayne was just trying a few pairs of jeans (He offered to let you in so you could 'help him'... you politely turned that oh so very kind and beyond charming offer down with a 'no you're a big boy; I have the utmost faith in you that you can do it' and an encouraging pat on the shoulder), and while you sat outside the changing rooms with the coat hung over your legs and a basket half full with some more shirts in various cobalt hue's, you finally see fit to open up your phone for the first time in the day and... oh, boy.

You wince.

"Yep," You mutter, shaking your head and shifting to make sure no one was around to see. "Thats a penis."

God, what is wrong with men?

'U gotta send me some now' the guy, Brandon, texts you then seeing that you were online. 'Thats fair'. You groan. Oh no you do not.

When Wayne comes out of one of the changing rooms, tucking his shirt into his new jeans, you quickly switch off your phone and lower it into your lap. A second ago you were having a good day (A good day! With crazy Wayne of all people!), but now... aghhh, you just wanted to go home. Be alone. Lament over the fact that, at this rate, you're never going to find a man you have any kind of real chemistry with. "- that looks great." You say quickly, flashing a kind smile and getting up. "We'll get a couple of those. Its all on Lyle, anyway. Come on, lets ring up. You wanna get Taco Bell on the way back?- "

"Uh uh uh," As you're attempting to walk by Wayne and head for the registers, he grabs you by the crook of your arm and stops you right there. "What just happened here?"

Taking a deep breath, you cross you arms and face him; never mind the proximity he set. "Nothing. We've been out for hours, and I'm tired."

"You are not." He growls, then you peer and watch a sly grin spread across his face. "You cant lie to a liar, sweetheart, trust me. But hey," Suddenly he plucks your phone right out of your hand, making you yelp and go wide-eyed. Oy- "lets see for ourselves what the problem is, huh?"

"No, no, no- " You reach for the phone as soon as you see it, but he turns around.

Your phone comes to life and, holding the device just out of your reach (Well, you could move and grab it, but at this point you're frozen out of mortification), Wayne flicks to the most recently opened app. Then the photo's slide across the screen again and your nose wrinkles. "Ahhhh... " You roll your eyes deeply. You can imagine the nasty grin on the dirty old man's face without even seeing it. "... So? You gonna uhh... repay the favour, or not? Hm??" He chuckles. and you groan.

"What do you think?" You ask his back, rubbing your face.

"Well I'm sure I don't know- "

"No! The answer is no!"

"Heheh,.. " Suddenly an odd calm settles over Wayne, and you hear rather then see the phone shut off. Then there's a consoling tone in his voice that makes you nervous. "Alright, we can go. I'm all done here, after all, aren't I? Nothin for my Cuz to be embarrassed about anymore, hm? Lemme just put my old pants back on."

"Okay... thank you... ... hey, wait, gimmie back my phone, first- "

"Not just yet."

... that sure makes you nervous.

For the few moments you're waiting for him you tug your bottom lip between your teeth, worried. You just want your phone back! You want to delete. Tinder. damnit.

When Wayne's in there for a few moments too long, you awkwardly approach and knock on the door. "... Way- "

He opens the door almost as soon as your knuckles hit the surface, startling you, and hands you the phone back with a terrible, satisfied look on his face.

... you squint. "What did you do."

"Nothin'." He tells you back, noncommittally; shrugging and adjusting his pants as you open up your phone and navigate back to Tinder.

...

...

...

..

...

..- "OH." Immediately you turn off your phone all the way again and cross your arms, fighting to urge to throw it. THATS not gonna give you nightmares at all. After a moment, your eyes flick to Wayne grinning proud. "... why."

"Well he aint gonna bother you no more now, is he?"

"The concept of your penis does seem to have that effect on people." You say... but cant help it. You laugh, shaking your head; more an inappropriate cackle then a laugh, really. It feels good. "Come on lets go,.. Flaccid, and everything. Very sexy, Wayne."

"I thought so." He's still grinning with pride, and that only makes your giggles worse.

"Move it, Jackson."

~

You did end up getting lunch on the way back, opting to eat in the parking lot on the hood of the car, and you're still sipping coke when you pull into Wayne's driveway. He lives with Dale, its the only way the two of them can afford a semi-decent place with the wages that Lyle pays them, and as you slowly roll over the driveway you see Dale's motorbike in the open garage. He must be working on it today.

When Wayne pipes up from the passenger seat, you turn and watch him while chewing the paper straw in your taco bell cup. "Welll, this has been sorta fun, sweetheart. Coulda been more fun," He gives you a meaningful look and you shake your head, but grin with the straw still between your teeth. He clears his throat, opening the car door. "But, eh, not bad."

"Not bad??" You ask, teasing. "My company is just 'not bad'??"

There's a wicked look in his eye and on his face. "... yep."

"Ass."

"Never claimed to be anything else, did I now?" With that light-hearted but very true remark, Wayne turns to get out of the car- but a crazy split-second urge has you putting down your drink and stopping him.

"Wayne?- "

"Huh?- "

When your lips meet in a deep kiss with the old bastard you didn't even know you wanted until then, you feel every nerve in your body light up. Its slow and a little dirty, and you love it. You didnt know you could be kissed like this. So when you pull back you cant help the smirk that matches his.

"... well, now I think you're company's a lil better, Y/N." You snort, at that. "What? I manage t' seduce you with that photo? Hm?"

You roll your eyes and give a sigh. "Good lord- "