#and i think confusion perpetuates confusion

[it-happened-one-fic]

Twisted Weddings: Photoshoot #4 - Such a Blessing - Kalim

Summary: Your fourth photoshoot was with Kalim and actually involved an outfit traditional to Scalding Sands culture. And, fittingly, you ended up recreating a wedding picture of Kalim’s parents as a light rain started to fall over you both.

Type: Female reader/ 800 Followers Event/ Series/ sfw/ fluff/

Twisted Weddings Series Masterlist

Word count: 904

Crewel tilted his head, frowning slightly as he looked between me and the perfectly giddy Kalim, who already had my hand clasped in his warm one.

“I wasn’t sure about designing a bridal outfit that is more traditional to the Scalding Sands, but…. I think it’s worked out rather nicely,” Crewel finally nodded as he spoke, and I glanced down at the shirt and skirt, or rather, lehenga, that I wore.

Brilliant red with shiny gold embroidery covering both the short-sleeved bodice and the perfectly massive lehenga skirt that had about three layers in total.

“I think it looks great! If you want, I can give you some more jewelry to wear with it to complete the look!” Kalim looked between me and Crewel excitedly.

Both of us shook our heads hurriedly, apparently agreeing that I was already bedecked in enough gold, even as Kalim frowned in obvious confusion before he quickly recovered, “So what are we going to be doing?”

Crewel tilted his head as he eyed us, “Hmm, I was considering something that would show off the full breadth of the skirt, but now that we’re here……”

“I could kiss Y/n on the cheek!” I blinked at Kalim’s words in surprise, turning to look his way as he outright beamed at Crewel, who stared back at him in surprise that was similar to mine.

Kalim continued though, happily explaining himself as he glanced between me and our instructor, “I’ve seen my parent’s wedding pictures, and one of my mom’s favorites has my dad kissing her on the cheek! She always looks so happy when she sees that picture. In fact, her smile is the exact same as the one she has in the picture!”

Crewel nodded, still looking half-surprised as his gaze met mine and I lifted my shoulder in a half-shrug, largely unbothered by Kalim’s suggestions. It wasn’t like it would be the first time he gave me a kiss of some sort to display his occasionally overwhelming affection,  “Well, it sounds like a cute enough picture; it’s your line of wedding clothes, though.”

“No, it suits me if you’re fine with it.” The instructor shook his head at my words as he continued, “I’ll go tell the photographer, so you two can get in position whenever you’re ready.”

I felt myself smile slightly as I glanced back over towards Kalim only to find the young man already smiling brightly at me.

His hand found mine, clasping it tightly as he continued to beam, “Mom’ll be so happy when she sees these pictures! I bet she’ll want to meet you and everything!”

I felt myself chuckle slightly at his joyful nature even as I tilted my head at him, “Did you already tell your parents that you were going to be a model for Crewel’s line of bridal clothes?”

He shook his head, laughing in that perfectly carefree nature of his, “Nah, but my mom likes looking at wedding dresses, so I know she’ll see the images! She says wedding pictures make her happy.”

“We’re going to have to take these pictures quickly since it’s getting overcast. Are you two ready?” I straightened at the photographer's words. But he was right. Dark clouds were already overhead, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it would mess up the lighting for the pictures.

At odds with worries, Kalim was wholly unbothered as he glanced up towards the heavens above us, “Oh, do you think it’ll rain? That would make for a really great picture!”

I glanced at him, half-confused by his words as I frowned slightly, tilting my head at the perpetually bubbly young man, “Because a rainy wedding day is supposed to be good luck?”

He laughed at my words, shaking his head, “No, I just think it would be nice. Rain is always such a blessing after all.”

His red eyes were bright as he grinned at me. Almost brighter than the red of my outfit, and I felt myself smile at his words. Idly wondering how he could be quite so positive about everything, even as I nodded, finding myself squeezing his hand slightly as I spoke, “Let’s hope for the best then.”

He squeezed my hand lightly in return, his expression briefly softening before he looked back over towards where Crewel and the photographer both stood and waved with his free hand, “We’re ready!”

The photographer gave a thumbs up and held up his camera at almost the same time it started to drizzle.

And though I had no idea how he managed to time it quite so perfectly, Kalim tugged me over and kissed me lightly on the cheek, causing me to laugh slightly at his eagerness at the precise moment that the camera flashed. Capturing and immortalizing the moment for eternity as Kalim burst into laughter from beside me.

Wholly unbothered by the rain that was steadily picking up even as Crewel shook his head at us with a distinctly fond smile. But at this point, I felt like most people were fond of Kalim.

Because when it came right down to it, it was hard to be frustrated with Kalim, and the young man always seemed to cause people to smile when he was nearby.

And even without either Crewel or the photographer saying anything as they both peered at the picture on the camera’s screen, I had no doubts that the photograph was perfect.

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[hotvintagepoll]

Elisha Cook Jr. (The Maltese Falcon, The House on Haunted Hill, The Big Sleep)—hes a little rat hes a little weasel he was born as a sopping wet mouse in a bucket of water he was only 5'5 and basically every role ive ever seen him in is him being a weird little freak this can be either threatening or pathetic and i think hes neat. he could fit in my shirt pocket and i would fold him up like a gum wrapper

Alla Nazimova (Salome)—Undeniably hot, she is just SO camp it goes back to scrungle.

This is round 2 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Elisha Cook Jr:

The most wet pathetic man you've ever seen - he's truly spineless and quivering like a chihuahua in every movie he's in. Occasionally he'll play a bad guy but he's the kind of bad guy that always loses INSTANTLY just cannot catch a break. He'd try to con you but end up being conned instead - the opposite of competency porn it's incompetent masturbation.

Look at his face. He’s real good at looking scared.

During his film noir days, Elisha Cook Jr was typecast as a gangster who was not taken seriously due to his size despite having a greater hair-trigger for violence than the more physically intimidating thugs. Then, in House on Haunted Hill, he gives an entirely different scrungly little guy performance as the traumatized owner of a haunted house who gives bug-eyed stares and moans about how the ghosts killed his brother and will kill everyone else too. Not one, but two flavors of scrungly little guy!

The meek small-time crook of many a noir, his big sad eyes, perpetually furrowed brow and general air of pathetic impotence put me in mind of a wet Yorkshire Terrier, and I like that in a man.

Alla Nazimova:

[recluserat]

Hey, It's the Dwayne/Michael anon again. I'm curious...what do you imagine the dynamic to be between these two? As in, who makes the first move? Who's the most assertive/dominant in the relationship? Who confesses their feelings first? etc etc. And how did you think up this ship? Sorry if it's too many questions, it's just that you've gotten me hooked on these two lol

ooooooo anon, welcome back! I love these questions but I am going to be so honest with you that prior to seeing this ask I had not thought this hard about the ship. I have been going purely based off vibes and the gut feeling that those two ppl need to be kissing posthaste. That being said, I love this ask bc it made me actually sit down and think about the way I view these two as both characters and as a couple so here are my new answers: 1. Whenever I think of the two of them the ship dynamic that comes to mind is "silent and stoic x perpetually confused". At the same time though, I think Dwayne is an instigator who will nudge Paul and Marko with little comments and then sit back and watch the drama unfold. Meanwhile I feel like when it comes to the vamps, Michael doesn't really know what's going on but he keeps managing to get himself wrapped up in their shit. He likes to instigate as much as Dwayne does but he's not smooth enough with it to not be dragged along and also his big brother instincts kick in sometimes and he feels like he should back them up. Only sometimes though. Other times he's perfectly happy to sit back with Dwayne and laugh at the others. 2. I think that Dwayne would flirt with Michael first, but once Michael registers that this man is flirting with him he's 100% committing to it and will flirt harder than Dwayne. Dwayne has been around Santa Carla for a while and is like... Apex Predator Mode so I think he wouldn't be afraid to flirt with someone who catches his eye. Meanwhile Michael is new to town, probably not going to be making any moves on strangers straight off the bat yk. But once Dwayne opens that door Michael is fully tossing himself through it. 3. I have so many different Dwayne/Michael stories swirling around in my mind right now that I can't for sure say who I think would definitively always be the one to confess first, but I have imagined the different ways they would do it. I think Dwayne would do his best to use his actions rather than his words, acts of service/physical touch stuff first. He would give Michael special treatment ie. always buys him food on the boardwalk, give him first dibs on anything he wants, always finds excuses to be close to Michael and have his hands on him in some way whether that's fixing the collar of his jacket or just resting his hand over Michael's shoulder while they're standing around. If he HAS to verbally say it I think it would be quiet. Something short and straight to the point while also being flirty, smting like "You know you drive me crazy" or smthing while being all up in Michael's personal space. Meanwhile, with Michael I think he would also do the whole physical touch thing, but less consciously. He starts gravitating to Dwayne without even noticing - parks his bike next to him, sits with him on the couch, always looks to Dwayne first when one of the other guys makes a crazy suggestion to see what Dwayne thinks. I think that whenever Michael does verbally confess it would be big, and somewhat aggressive. Fists full of Dwayne's jacket while his voice is raised talking about how he felt watching someone else put their hands on him, sloppy kisses, that sort of thing. I like to picture the level of emotion that Michael had in the movie when he confronted David on the boardwalk with the whole "where's Starr?" thing. But because he's Michael I think he wouldn't even realize that he liked Dwayne like that until that big explosion. TBH, I'm not really sure where this ship came from. I feel like with TLB there's only so many ships you can do that involve Michael and the vamps. I've read a bunch of stuff on Ao3 and the most common ships I see are David/Michael, David/Starr, Michael/Starr, and poly vamps+michael. I love rare pairs and Dwayne is my favorite character so one day I was just kinda like... what if.....????? and started writing about the two of them together. Thank you for this ask! I have so many more ideas for Dwayne/Michael stuff now that I have to go write down somewhere

[tyrannuspitch]

uh oh twilight of the gods got it wrong yet again so here's an old norse homophobia grammar psa

the adjective is argr, not ergi. if you call someone queer(/etc), you call them argr: argr man, argr scum, argr desires, argr behaviour, how dare you call me argr, urgh that's so gay argr...

ergi is a noun. BUT. it's not a name-calling noun. it's not equivalent to faggot. it's what you call the trait itself: queerness, faggotry. you wouldn't say someone "is" ergi; you would accuse them of ergi and spread rumours about their outrageous ergi.

if you do end up saying someone "is" ergi, what you're saying is extremely hyperbolic. you're effectively calling them Queerness Itself. which is probably not what you actually mean. i suppose it could work in some situations, especially if you're talking about a god, but it'll work better if you know you're saying something unusual and you're doing it on purpose.

[vonlipvig]

i love how rachel's play of using the shot in the dark to gauge the reaction of the other players to see if she should play her idol or not was so masterful, but it completely flew over my head because i just assumed you wouldn't be able to use your idol. for no reason at all. sorry rachel that was queen shit i am very aware now.

[badwolfarcadiabay]

[casscainmainly]

op complaining about not curating your fandom experience to ignore racism while not curating their own fandom experience and ignoring people who enjoy canon 😭 although yeah not gonna ignore prevalent racism in fandom is a good thing I think

Yeah this!! Also I'm not sure if OP knows that fanon is nearly inescapable? So many canon fans won't even look through character tags anymore because it's flooded with fanon. OP also tagged Cass, Duke, and Steph, were they expecting Cass/Duke/Steph fans to prefer fanon to canon??

This is the last I'll say about this discourse for a while, but honestly it shouldn't even be fanon vs. canon. It should be fanon + canon fans vs. racism/sexism/ableism. There's nothing inherently harmful about fanon fans, some are great and engage with POC and women, but a lot don't. There's a difference between having comics-inaccurate headcanons, and actively perpetuating racist/ableist stereotypes and excluding women.

Frankly, 'just look away' is not an appropriate response to people calling out fandom prejudice. Fandom should be an inclusive space, but inclusivity means examining and interrogating our biases. Whether or not you like canon, whether you've only read WFA or have read 1000+ comics, this holds true for all of us. I know the conversation is old at this point, but honestly I'd prefer people complaining and being annoying one thousand times over people ignoring the problem.

[5eyed]

yayo! (real name: yolanda). shes xeress crush. i want to give her some tattoos or piercings but i couldnt think of good ones yet..

[paperglader]

hacks feels like an amalgam of glow, dead to me and grace and frankie IF each of those had leaned into the gay properly (regarding the two mains) and hadn't gotten canceled abruptly.

[hylianengineer]

What's the most evil lab equipment in your opinion 😂

In my very subjective opinion? Ion chromatographs are on my shit list. It's not really their fault - the one I have to work with is old, hasn't been maintained properly, and no one else knows how to use it so I have to figure out everything myself, which is NOT FUN! It's finicky, frustrating, and it requires working with sulfuric acid, which I do not enjoy. It's very very sensitive and if you accidentally contaminate it with ions, you will be troubleshooting for weeks trying to figure out what happened. Ions are everywhere, in everything. In dust, in tap water (and nearly all filtered water, we have a special machine that makes Ultra Pure water with no ions or anything in it), on your skin, on virtually every surface that hasn't been specially cleaned. So if you have extra ions that shouldn't be there, it's a guessing game - are they from the sample? The eluent? Sample vials? Glassware? Is the water filter malfunctioning? Are the ions even there at all or is the detector messed up? You just have to keep trying stuff until it sorts itself out. The one I work with has NOT sorted itself out yet and I've been at this for over two weeks. I'm at my wit's end here.

And bonus answer for non-instrument equipment: drying tins. They're these little aluminum trays to put soil or whatever in when you stick them in the drying oven but they make Bad Noises when they scrape together. Also they bend easily, so if you stack them and then they get knocked around, sometimes it becomes very very difficult to get them apart.

In contrast, the best instrument is the Gas Chromatograph and the best other equipment is micropippettes. The GC is straightforward, easy to use, really hard to contaminate, and rarely has technical problems (plus when it does, they're not my problem - I am not the designated GC expert). Micropippettes are just fun because it's satisfying to click the button to release the pipette tip and launch it into the trash can.

[devilsskettle]

feeling so actively antisocial rn that i can’t even feel passively happy about pride. like great we get a month where people pretend to care about us before going back to either hating us or politely ignoring our existence. but it’s so fun that people get to go out and drink and dance and go to concerts and have fun with their friends!! not me though because i’m working forever and ever. but yay our shitty cishet manager got to see chappell roan. i’m sure that was so special for her

[fallloverfic]

Really tired of people calling FG by the one name that makes zero sense in context, is alienating to a lot of people, and is actually the single figure Mojito has confirmed he's not. Are people just unaware of one of the more popular hairstyles/looks for guys with long(ish) brown(ish) hair and beards/beard stubble in (and out of) media?

People/characters listed left to right, starting with the top:

Row 1: Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes in Captain America: The Winter Soldier; François Arnaud as Cesare Borgia in The Borgias; David Wenham as Faramir in The Lord of the Rings; Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay in The Mummy Returns; Jason Carter as Marcus Cole in Babylon 5

Row 2: Kevin Sorbo as Hercules in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys; Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace; "Foreign God" in ENNEAD Season 1, Episde 65; "Foreign God" in ENNEAD Season 2, Episode 10; Robin Atkin Downes; Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing in Van Helsing

Row 3: Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars; Hades in Blood of Zeus, James Watson as Duncan Idaho in Dune (2000); Gale in Baldur's Gate 3; Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings

Row 4: Mark Ryder as Cesare Borgia in Borgia; Jason Momoa; Nigel Terry as King Arthur in Excalibur; Christian Kane as Eliot Spencer in Leverage; Jared Padalecki

Like I could keep adding people and characters to this because this style is so damn common (I was honestly tempted to make a second collage, bare minimum). But I'd be here forever. There are a number of other fan names for the unnamed foreign god, including Foreign God, FG, Beard, Mustache, or you could go with what Seth calls him, "Furball".

[recluserat]

I love a good Michael/David, it's a classic, but something about Dwayne/Michael makes my brain go brrrrrrrr

[n4rval]

ough. toriel my beloved

[maaaahri]

Oh no I’m thinking about VtM npcs again

[ying-doodles]

every once in a blue moon I get jumpscared by an email saying someone bought some of my old ass animal crossing fanart from redbubble and I'm just like what the fck-