#and i suppose we'll see how much i improve

[fading4ngel]

ngl youll definitely know when im studying anatomy more because its literally all going to be johnny silverhand drawings.

i fear its the only way ill survive trying to improve my art.

[nordic-language-love]

This month's bonus book is super long and it seems the reason for that is because the author spends like a paragraph doing world-building or unnecessarily over-explaining reactions between each line of dialogue -_-

[httpsserene]

𝟏-𝟖𝟎𝟎-𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏-𝐌𝐄-𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐜𝐥. 𝟏𝟔

summary: fans notice that charles’ cars are suddenly being parked perfectly. come to find out, his (secret) girlfriend has been parking his ferrari like butter.

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!poc!reader

smau (ignore dates on tweets pls). fluff & humor. explicit language. two or three uses of "y/n." charles’ canonically questionable parking. reader goes undercover on f1twt. charles gets cyberbullied /jk? secret agent roleplay? (don't ask, it'll make sense, maybe). big thx to the girlies on twt who had threads of charles' bad parking photos ;p

༊࿐ ⊹ ˚ this is like mid-level charles leclerc stan knowledge. bro put all of his skill points into racepace and forgot about parking his daily cars 😭 enjoy reading, my loves xxx

⌕ join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻

instagram • f1fanpagemonaco

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 34,785 others

f1fanpagemonaco the planets must be in alignment because charles leclerc has perfectly parked his ferrari this afternoon 😱

tagged charles_leclerc

view comments

user1 i-i can't believe my eyes 😧

user2 it's only taken him a decade to learn how to parallel park LOL

user3 monaco native here! can confirm- his cars have decreased cosplaying as road obstructions for about three months :)

user4 THREE MONTHS ??!!? how is this the first time i'm hearing about this ???

user5 i don't believe this. did anybody SEE him park the car 🤨🤨🤨

user6 we're going to find out this photo was ai generated in a couple weeks haha

user7 take this down !!! we're supposed to keep this on the dl to avoid jinxing ourselves 🤬

user8 fr, i thought every monegasque was in agreement about staying hushed :(

user9 after almost flying over the hood of his cars TWICE on my bicycle- i'm glad that he's improving his parking skills ☺️

user9 HIS BROTHERS AND FRIENDS IN THE LIKES IS EVEN CRAZIER??! CHARLES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF ⁉️⁉️

user8 didn't you just say that you almost crashed into his (badly) parked car in the comment above ? user9 i fail to see how that's relevant rn

user10 charles woke up saying "i understand it now" and performed the best parallel parking known to man

user11 y'all are getting ahead of yourselves. there's a very high chance that it was valet parking ��

user5 this is what i'm saying!!! user12 lol what if he decided to hire a private driver 🤣 user13 charles would neverrrrr—remember how he acted on the start-stop challenge we Carlos 👀 user14 he DOES NOT serve passenger princess ☠️

twitter

imessage • charles -> yn

twitter • @ cl16sleftnipple -> yn's undercover fan acct

imessage • yn -> charles

igstory • charles_leclerc has uploaded !

[caption; she accepts watching sunsets on a yacht as a form of payment 😉]

this story is unavailable. get notifications when charles_leclerc shares a story.

igstory • yninstagram has uploaded to their close friends story !

[caption; if anyone is looking for a chauffeur call me at 1-800-HELP-ME-PARK 😅]

franciscacgomes u have to take me on a joyride the next time i'm in monaco !!!

yninstagram yes! we'll ditch the boys for the day and collect some speeding tickets with the stradale ;p

yourfriend do you do weddings 👀

yninstagram weddings, birthdays, bachelor & bachelorette parties, etc. yourfriend how much do you charge? yninstagram 4 cheeseburger

charles_leclerc i thought i hired you for your exclusivity 😑

yninstagram shh mon amour you'll always be my favorite client xoxo

olliebearman if i get him for secret santa next year, i'm gifting him parking lessons 😆

yninstagram you'd be my favorite child if you did 🛐 olliebearman :DDD

instagram • f1fanpagemonaco

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 34,785 others

f1fanpagemonaco charles leclerc posts and deletes a photo of an unknown woman to his instagram story in the midst of a rampant discussion of his suddenly improved parking! it's captioned: "she accepts watching sunsets on a yacht as a form of payment." was this an accidental post of the rumored chauffeur that's behind the perfect parking of his vehicles?

tagged charles_leclerc

view comments

user17 the winky face emoji is making me think she's more than just his chauffeur 👀👀👀

user18 we really do need to open the schools :/

user19 bc how do you read the caption and not see that it's blatant confirmation that he's hired a driver?

user20 i don't even have to see behind that champagne flute to know that she's a baddie 😮‍💨

user21 now that i think about it, i think i saw a woman with this exact outfit walking a dachshund that could’ve been leo!!! wish we could see more of her face to confirm ☹️

user22 does anybody else think that this was just meant to distract us from the original issue of charles being unable to park a car???

user23 talk about it!!! user24 i mean it doesn't really matter if he can park anymore now that he's paying somebody to do it for him 🤷‍♀️

twitter • @ cl16sleftnipple -> yn's undercover fan acct

imessage • yn -> charles

instagram • f1fanpagemonaco

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 34,785 others

f1fanpagemonaco the plot thickens 😱 the woman rumored to be charles leclerc's chauffer was caught parking his car and taking a photo afterward! this confirms her chauffeur status AND leads many to think that she's also the woman behind @/cl16sleftnipple on twitter. our discord members have hunted down what may be her instagram account too 🧐

view comments

user25 why do i feel so violated!!! his chauffeur has been a double agent the entire time 🤯

user26 tbh charles better be paying her beautifully !!!

user27 iktr bc i would not try to convince everybody on the internet that he can park when it's really me doing all the work!

user28 i think i'm in love with her

user29 who is this diva 💜

user30 next thing you know we're gonna find out she has a tumblr for f1 ff's 😭😭😭

user31 i think somebody is leaking the plot to the next trending netflix original movie 👄

user32 lwk i think i could convince her to drive me around in my prius 🤥

user33 you forget how to speak around hot women and only have $12.32 in your checking acct—you couldn't even convince her to breathe the same air as you bestie 😘 user32 i know you like to think that calling me bestie after reading me to filth will make up for it, but it just makes me want to strangle you even more :)

instagram • charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 34,785 others

charles_leclerc if you're going to reveal who cl16sleftnipple is, at least get her job title correct 😠 she's not my chauffeur, she's my girlfriend and parking princess 👸🏾🤗😘🥰🤭🤤😚

view comments

yninstagram can you believe that he doesn't like when i drive but he BEGS me to park ??? make it make sense 😅

charles_leclerc ma chérie you REFUSE to use the break pedal!!! yninstagram break pedals are 4 losers (i am speed 🏎)

user35 GIRLFRIEND???!!! 😵‍💫😵👻

user36 when you say girlfriend, do you mean that she's a friend who happens to be a girl orrrrrrrrrr?

charles_leclerc orrrrr girlfriend meaning l'amour de ma vie 🥰🥰🥰

user37 two pretty people in a happy relationship? 2025 isn't so bad 😌

user36 maybe the world is healing 🥹 user37 maybe charles leclerc wdc 2025 🫣 yninstagram pls don't jinx it 😩 go knock on wood rn 🫵🏾

user38 why did she go with "cl16sleftnipple" as her username???

yninstagram because it's my favorite one obv 😇 charles_leclerc what's wrong with my right nipple :(((( yninstagram idk it just looks at me weird sometimes... user38 how does a body part look at you weirdly 😀

user39 oh, this baddie is weird? say less, i'm sending her my credit card information rn

user40 charles leclerc core LMFAOOO

user41 waiiiiitttt does this mean she's not gonna use her fan acct anymore :(

user42 aw man i didn't even think about that; i was constantly on twt just to see what funny shit she was saying lol yninstagram if the people want more of cl16sleftnipple who am i to deny them 😌👐🏾

instagram • yninstagram

liked by arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, joris__trouche, and 34,785 others

yninstagram AITA for saving the citizens of monaco by parking my (25 F) boyfriend's (27 M) cars for him because he's incapable of fitting within two lines without being a road hazard?

comments on this post have been limited

yourfriend TLDR: she lost the plot by starting a fan twt to try and save her bf's reputation (who's notoriously known for his shit parking) it backfired bc everybody thought she was his chauffeur

yourfriend (cont.) now charles has to suffer with the world knowing that he has his gf position his cars AND that he still can't park charles_leclerc this wasn't necessary 😒 yourfriend is that what you said when it was time to learn how to parallel park ☠️

lilymhe reminds me of the time charles blocked traffic picking you up from brunch last year 😆

franciscacgomes i remember when the honks started and yn was like "oh, that probably means charles is here!" lilyzneimer first brunch i went to with the wags and i left with tinnitus from the sound of car horns blaring 🥲 yninstagram sorry little lily! next meet up will be honk free :) yninstagram ...was v embarrassing to get into the car that's blocking traffic 🫠

oscarpiastri NTA 👍🏻

oscarpiastri is now a good time to say that charles almost backed his car into me before padel yesterday? charles_leclerc NO IT WILL NEVER BE A GOOD TIME TO SAY THAT yninstagram mb the electric scooter wasn't such a bad idea…

maxverstappen1 NTA 😹😹😹

lando thinking about how much money charles loses to parking fines 🤣

olliebearman not to pray on his downfall but

olliebearman when his license gets suspended can i get the spider 🥺 arthurleclerc NUH UH 🙅🏻‍♂️ i get the spider and you get the sf90 oscarpiastri i'll take the daytona then 👍🏻 pierregasly i think i can make room for the roma 😌 charles_leclerc yeah this isn't praying, it's PLANNING on my downfall 😒😒😒

general taglist (ask to join):

@saintslewis/@cherry2stems/@lorarri/@mindless-rock/@biancathecool

@barnestatic/@darleneslane/@lovingaphroditesworld/@smoothopz/@vetteltea

@tallrock35/@spideybv28/@loomiscorpse/@hiireadstuff/@namgification

@gg-trini/@multi-fandom-rando/@landoslutmeout/@love-simon/@iloveyou3000morgan/

@rexit-mo/@oscahpastry/@sweatrevenge5436-blog/@bokutos-babyowl/@oliviah-25

@evermoreandroyalblue/@riveristhebest1/@xylinasdiary/@ashiekins/@flowergirl1134

@hearts4robs/@c-losur3/@bloodyymaryyy/@awritingtree/@lammys-thinking

@nikfigueiredo/@bbreezyxoxo/@catreadsthings/@princessminjikwon/@il0vereadingstuff

@nissaimmortal/@justaf1girl@floweringlee

© httpsserene — do not reupload. photos used in header and throughout are from pinterest.

[harunayuuka2060]

*Right before the rehearsals began.*

MC: *remains subtly unimpressed by what they observed*

Vil: *had just finished demonstrating the dance routine he planned to incorporate into their performance*

Vil: Why are you staring at me like that?

MC: ...

MC: Are you trying to be someone else?

Vil: Wha— What's that supposed to mean?!

MC: ...I'll be honest with you. My eyes hurt watching that. It’s like you’re a moth trying to pass as a butterfly.

Vil: !!!

Vil: MC!

MC: I’m not trying to insult you, Vil. You’re skilled, no question, but not in every aspect.

Vil: ...

Vil: I can’t believe I’m being criticized like this.

MC: *smiles* Why? Do you think I would play favorites simply because I respect you?

Vil: ...

Vil: *sighs*

Vil: You're right.

Vil: But I'm concerned about what you said... Does it really not fit my image?

MC: ...

MC: *nods* That’s why I’ll take responsibility for selecting the song and the choreography.

Vil: Why— You can't do that!

MC: Vil.

Vil: ...

MC: If you want this to succeed, you need to trust me.

Vil: ...

MC: *smiles reassuringly* I will make certain that in this competition, you will be the fairest of them all.

Vil: ...

Vil: *satisfied with their statement* You clearly know what to say.

Professor Crewel: Now, your idea isn’t bad. But are you sure those pups can pull off these outfits?

MC: *chuckles* I have confidence in them, sir.

Professor.Crewel: I would feel the same way if you had at least let someone watch your rehearsal. Not even the headmage was allowed to enter the Ramshackle dorm.

*MC asked their dad to allow only the members to enter the dorm and to prevent anyone else from breaking in.*

MC: I had to since the headmage started making demands.

MC: Too much pressure was already placed on them, so it wouldn't be fair to add more.

Professor Crewel: *chuckles* I see.

Kalim: Eh? MC isn't here yet?

Epel: They went to check the stage for the SDC.

Kalim: Oh. Anyway, is everyone excited? *grins*

Jamil: No. We're nervous.

Kalim: Oh come on! You've seen how we practiced!

Rook: Roi d'Ore is right, Monsieur Multi!

Rook: If I hadn't realized we were just looking at our reflections, I might have fallen in love with how beautiful we appeared!

Epel: Um, you mean 'cool', right, Rook-senpai?

Ace: Geez, dude. Yes! You look cool!

Deuce: Let's show our coolness on stage, Epel!

Epel: Yeah!

Jamil: I'm surprised you two managed to improve.

Kalim: *laughs* MC's routine was effective!

Vil: ...

MC: ...

MC: Vil.

Vil: ...

Vil: I'm okay.

*They found out that Neige would be participating.*

MC: ...

MC: Can I use your phone for a moment?

Vil: What will you do with it? *as he hands it to them*

MC: We've taken every step to make sure you stay focused during rehearsals, and I can’t allow you to get distracted just because you see someone you feel inferior to.

Vil: !!!

Vil: How did you—

MC: *smiles* You won't be asking Mira or looking into how others perceive you or Neige Leblanche.

Vil: ...

Vil: And what if I couldn't help it?

MC: Then you'll just have to take out your frustration on me. That's why we'll be doing a separate performance.

Vil: ...

Vil: Yes. That's better.

MC: *smiles kindly this time* You will do well, Vil.

Vil: ...

Vil: *smirks* Of course.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge - Room Relaxation Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Courtyard]

[rustle, rustle]

Lilia: Heeey, Malleuuus～ Come out, come out, wherever you are～ Sebek's about to burst into tears 'cause he can't find you～

Jade: I was curious what you were up to what with your fervent rustling through the hedges… I see, you were searching for Malleus-san.

Lilia: Oh, Jade. We're supposed to be having an important meeting in the dorm right now, but he's nowhere to be found.

Jade: My, an important meeting? How fascinating. Is there some pressing issue?

Lilia: Nothing dire. Actually, the Pop Music Club decide to throw together an impromptu birthday performance tomorrow!

Lilia: And we wouldn't want it to clash with the party we're hosting at the dorm, right? So, we wanted to make sure the schedules lined up.

Jade: Aah… So that's what it was. Speaking of the Pop Music Club, I found the performance they gave during the freshmen club orientation to be utterly captivating.

Jade: To think you were putting in this much effort behind the scenes to make it happen. I'm sure this one will be just as hilar― splendid as last time.

Lilia: Well, yeah, we're gonna go all out and rock on! It'll be in our club room like usual, though.

Lilia: There's no admission to come see us this time. You should come and witness my amazingly passionate screamo.

Jade: Fufufu, just hearing you speak of it is giving me quite the thrill. I definitely will be coming by.

Lilia: Kheeheehee, I'll be waiting. …Oookay, I need to get back to searching for Malleus. See ya, Jade.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

[Diasomnia Students chatter]

Lilia: ―Everyone, I found Malleus. Just as I thought, he hadn't realized it was the meeting time already.

Lilia: Now, we might be a little late, but we'll start the meeting now! We need to quickly chat through the important stuff, since we're short on time.

Lilia: For our Housewarden's sake, we'll start with the agenda for today…

[Diasomnia Student A speaks]

Lilia: …Hm? You've already spoken through the topics? You all thought it would be rude to bother Malleus with this meeting?

Lilia: So you're saying… I DIDN'T NEED TO GO LOOKING FOR MALLEUS～?!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Whew. It's a struggle having so many model students taking initiative...

Lilia: Well, now I'm done with my shower. I'm not taking one step out of my room anymore.

Lilia: Let's gooo, the sun's set already so I'm feelin' at the top of my game. My day finally starts now!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: First, I'll do all my daily quests for my game… Huh, where's my keyboard? I swear I had it here yesterday…

[rustle, rustle]

Lilia: Ohh, here it is. It just got completely buried under this stack of papers.

Lilia: There sure are a ton of papers scattered about. This is a test from last year, and that's something I got my first year here. Oh, and this…

「Survey on Quality of Life Improvements for the Student Body」

Lilia: A survey? …Oh right, Crowley was practically demanding that it gets filled in.

Lilia: I was ignoring it, since I couldn't really think of anything to write. I guess I should finish it up before it gets buried under things again.

Lilia: But even so, what am I supposed to request…? We're kept out of the rain and wind, and have fully working AC. I also have an abundance of time to spend eating or enjoying myself.

Lilia: I am able to watch over my family learn, while surrounded by friends. It would be too greedy to ask for anything more.

Lilia: I'll just write, "I have no issues with the current quality of life," and―

[clatter, clatter…!]

[CRASH!]

[THUD! BAM!]

Lilia: Things just keep falling off their little piles whenever I turn around. …But hey, it's no big, since it's not interfering with me at all!

[knock, knock]

Lilia: Hm? Looks like someone's here, and so late at night. Coming! I'll open the door so hold on a sec.

[Diasomnia Student B speaks]

Lilia: Oh, it's just my neighbors. Don't worry, there's no problems here.

[Diasomnia Students leave]

Lilia: Dear me, that's the problem with stone buildings, they make even the smallest noise echo so loudly. Especially when it's quieter at night.

Lilia: Whenever I'd play my instrument, there'd be an uproar about some kind of terrifying sounds echoing night after night.

Lilia: All I was doing each day was playing a little drums while doing a little dance… Dorm life sure can be difficult to get used to.

Lilia: If I didn't have to deal with that, then I could watch movies at full volume, or stream video games…

Lilia: Ohh, I guess this is something I can add to the survey. "Sound travels too easily. I'd like to install a soundproofing system.

Lilia: What else…? Ah! I don't have time to be doing this. I'll miss my consecutive login bonus. I need to log in to the game right now!

Muscle Red: Farewell, see you next raid.

Lilia: Today's drop rate was trash… On days like this, it's best to just cut my losses and not keep going.

Lilia: Before I turn off my computer, I think I'll check out that online crane game. Sometimes they have some real fun prizes there.

Lilia: Ooh, that plushie armrest looks cute! How many people are waiting in line…? Oh, just one. Perfect, I'll join the queue then.

Lilia: I never thought there'd come a day where I'd be able to play a crane game from the comforts of my room.

Lilia: It has so many different things, from snacks to everyday objects, and even gives a free play for logging in. Someone thought this through real well.

Lilia: Even these dragon feet slippers I'm wearing now was something I won from using those free play tickets.

Lilia: Oh, it's finally my turn. This little plushie looks like it has a heavy head, so… I'll start by dropping the crane around here!

Lilia: Take that! …Nice, it moved like I wanted. Then now, I'll aim for the same place one more time―

Lilia: ―Now I'm just feeling waaaay exhausted… Even after it felt like it would almost fall, it still took a long time to get there.

Lilia: Everything came out alright in the end, since I got it, but… Looks like it wasn't just the drop rate in the game earlier, my luck is just no good today.

Lilia: But I was able to get what I wanted, so I'm happy with that. Winning it when I wasn't expecting it is just another kind of fun.

Lilia: Well, I guess next I'll continue watching that one drama on the streaming site… Hm? What's this recommended video…?

Lilia: My favorite band just released a new song! I gotta check out their music video right away!

Lilia: Kheeheehee, there's still so much I get to do tonight. I love how every single day is packed full of fun things.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Urrrgh… Urh… Bright… …Why's there sunlight?

Lilia: Oh, I forgot to close the curtains… ...Tch. …Disgusting…

Lilia: ...Ah, no, I should get up… Hrrrnnngh, so briiight!

Lilia: In the end, I wasn't even able to do half of what I wanted to do. Night sure does pass quickly…

Lilia: If I just get everything ready with magic, I could fall back asleep now and still make it in time for class… Or not, I'd probably just end up sleeping in.

Lilia: I guess I'll head to the washroom to try and wake up.

[Diasomnia Dorm – Washroom]

[splash]

Lilia: Whew! The water in the wintertime is so chilly that it wakes me right up. Now, next is…

[Diasomnia Student C speaks]

Lilia: Oh hey, good morning. I see you've come to the washroom as well, this morning. …Hm? What am I doing?

Lilia: It's skincare, S-K-I-N-C-A-R-E! You shouldn't skimp on it, you know～? For example, I'm going to…

Lilia: Hm? Was I supposed to start with this watery stuff first? Or was it the more paste-like stuff?

Lilia: …Eh, shouldn't matter which goes on first! Once they're on my skin, it'll all end up the same.

Lilia: 'Kay, skincare done! As for the makeup… Ooh, right, I should try to do the clumpy eyelash I saw in a video the other day.

Lilia: I'll just use magic to toss on my eyeshadow. Done. The eyelash curler is… Ah, here it is.

Lilia: First, I need to make sure my eyelashes are standing straight up. Like―

Lilia: …Ouch! I caught my eyelid! The road to cosmetic beauty sure is filled with pain and patience…

Lilia: Once I brush the little hairs, I need to apply mascara to make them longer before they lose their structure.

Lilia: Then, I'll use the tweezers. I need to make little clumps before the mascara dries―

Lilia: And there we go, I've given myself the doll-like eyelashes that's all the rage with the young folks these days!

Lilia: Hehe, it really goes well with my big and bright eyes.

Lilia: Next is fixing my hair style. I'll just apply some silky smooth hair milk all over my head, and…

Lilia: Then poof it to completion with a bit of magic. Kheeheehee, I look splendid, befitting of what a birthday boy should look like!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lilia's Room]

Lilia: Okay, time to get chan… Ouch! Uuuurrrrg… My pinky toe… What numbskull left an amp right in the middle of the walking path!?

Lilia: …Right, this is my room, so the culprit can only be myself. Why does it feel like this room just feels smaller than before?

Lilia: Should I get more storage?

Lilia: …Nah, if I'm going to buy any furniture, I should prioritize getting a small tea table for when Silver and the others come to visit.

Lilia: …Haha, listen to me now. When I was filling out the survey, I thought I was satisfied with everything as they are, but…

Lilia: I can still think of more things I want, and even more things I want to do. Now, when did I learn to wish for such extravagance?

[Main Street]

Jade: Good morning, Lilia-san. Was yesterday's meeting able to go off without a hitch?

Lilia: Morning, Jade. Both the party and the performance are ready to go. Today is going to be a real fun day.

Jade: Fufu, I am certainly looking forward to see what sort of performance we'll be… blessed with today. A very Happy Birthday to you.

Lilia: Right-o! Make sure you have the time of your life during today's performance, too!

Requested by @kingren77.

[lovelyverosika]

You didn’t know but with a twist

Hazbin Hotel! Adam x Fem!Reader

Warning: swearing

A/N: Hey<3 My name is Verosika and I’ll write fanfictions whenever I have the time to :) This is my first time writing one, so it’s based on the song "You didn’t know" to make it easier for me. Just to let you know english isn’t my first language..so be prepared for some grammar mistakes :,D

Y/N POV:

We all sat in the courtroom, waiting for the trail to begin. Next to me was my husband Adam and Lute. I wasn’t supposed to be here but Adam wanted me to hear the "childish" and unrealistic ideas of the princess of hell.

After everyone was here Sera spoke "We're gathered here today to determine whether or not a soul in Hell, can be redeemed into heavenly realm by means of this 'Hazbin hotel', Princess Morningstar?",Sera said wanting Charlie to speak up.

I looked down to Charlie,my head resting on Adam’s shoulder. "Webster's dictionary defines redemption as-" before Charlie could speak Adam interrupts her: "Objection, lame and unoriginal". I sighed at his immature behaviour and gave him a slight bump with my head.

Charlie was flipping through her cards making Adam roll his eyes. "If you have actually evidence, then show it already." He said,glaring at Charlie. "We have two patrons already they’re making incredible progress" Charlie defended and I smiled, "Who?", I asked. "Angel Dust" Charlie spoke. "Oh yeah, the pornstar demon" Adam snickered as he added. "He's totally worth being redeemed".

Suddenly Monika,another demon stood up. "Well then, if you know so much…what do you think it takes to get into heaven?",she spoke. It was quiet until I asked if Adam was okay. He scoffed as he pulled out a golden paper from his pockets and a pen, "Give me a fucking moment, okay?",he then started writing and gave me the paper as I read it out, "Act selfless, don't steal, stick it to the man?", I chuckled looking at him with an raised eyebrow. He shrugged "Uh, yeah? Sure got me here...didn't it?",he said seemingly questioning himself. Sera sighed before saying: "He was the first human soul in heaven."

In the following hours Charlie showed us the improvement of this demon called Angel dust and how he did everything what Adam wrote on his list but nothing happened. Sera only sighed as she wanted to declare the trail as failed and that we will see what brings someone to heaven when the first soul arrives. I sat there with my head hanging. I felt bad for keeping my secret,especially when I looked over to Emily,who held the paper that Adam had written earlier.

Emily: But she was right, Sera. She showed us a soul can improve. He saw the light, Sera. Checked all the boxes that you said would prove a person deserves a second chance. Now we turn our backs, no second glance?

Sera: It's not as simple as you think. Not everything is spelled in ink.

Charlie: It's not fair, Sera!

Vaggie: Careful, Charlie, keep a cool head.

Charlie: No! Don't you care, Sera? That just because someone is dead, it doesn't mean they can't resolve to change their ways turn the page, escape infernal blaze.

Y/N: I'm sure you wish it could be so. But there's a lot that you don't know.

Lute: What are we even talkin' about? Some crack-whore who fucked up already? He blew his shot, like the cocks in his mouth. This discussion is senseless and petty.

Lute & Adam: There's no question to be posed!He's unholy, case closed. Did you forget that Hell is forever?

Adam: A man only lives once, we'll see you in one month. Gotta say, I can't wait to…

Y/N: Adam…

Adam: Come down and exterminate you.

Emily: Wait!

Adam: Shit…

Emily: What are you saying? Let me get this straight…You go down there and kill those poor souls?

Charlie & Y/N: You didn’t know?

Adam: Whoops

Lute: Guess the cat’s out of the bag.

Adam: What’s the big deal?

Emily: Sera, tell me that you didn't know…

Sera: I thought, since I'm older it's my load to shoulder

Emily: No!

Sera: You have to listen, it was such a hard decision. I wanted to save you, the anguish it takes to do what was required.

Emily: To think that I admired you, well I don't need your condescension. I'm not a child to protect! Was talk of virtue just pretension? Was I too naive to expect you to heed the morals you're purveying?

Charlie: That's what the fuck I've been saying!

Emily,Charlie & Monika: If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie! If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky. The rules are shades of gray, when you don't do as you say. When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again.

Monika: Don't you act all high and mighty!Adam did you ever think your "sweet" wife might be a liar?

Y/N: Huh? Wait no…please!

Monika: Don’t be such a crybaby! Why hide the fact that you were a demon just like us?

Part 2

[daturabouquet]

Thank goodness it's just a dream..

[Dottore x Fem!Reader angst, Warnings: Assisted suicide, mentioned torture, breach of privacy, toxic relationship dynamic, stalking]

Dottore's brutality and emotional/physical torment has gone so far that even just being around him scares you, you get panic attacks whenever there's just a slight look of displeasure in his face, nightmares of him and so on. You had no privacy of thought either; he has a "rewired" Akasha terminal hooked on you, he can read your mind as much as he pleases. He knew exactly how you felt yet he didn't care.

Until you asked for your Harbinger friend to take your life and end all of your suffering. Fatui Harbingers have protection against other Fatui Harbingers, they can't hurt one another so they will have no consequence for killing you.

Unfortunately, Dottore found out on the day of the supposed execution. He barged in and stopped Pantalone from ending you.

"What in the hells were you thinking?!"

"Shh, don't be so loud, you're going to wake her. And this is her wish, can't you see how much pain you've caused her?"

"I know what I did, and they deserved every single bit of it. Besides, she seems fairly content with our life together."

"I would believe otherwise, Doctor. Death is her best choice."

Pantalone reloaded the gun once more.

"I will not let you live for another day if you pull that trigger, Banker. I will ruin every aspect of your life and everything you've worked for."

"You can't do that thanks to Her Highness' policy. Unless you'd like to spar with the Tsaritsa herself?"

"Drop the gun, Banker."

"Only if you'll strike a deal for me..."

"Name your price."

"Put (name) back in her bed in her hometown in Sumeru, and make her believe every second she was here was a dream. Keep your "improved" Akasha on her, if she's in despair that everything was a dream, we'll bring her back here. Otherwise, if she jumps with joy because all her pain was just a dream... you set her free."

"Set her free? What kind of bargain is this, Banker?"

"A good one. Either you agree, Doctor... or I'll pull the trigger."

--

You wake up in Sumeru, very disoriented as you take in your surroundings... huh, your hometown... in your bed... in your house? You scratch your head in confusion... Weren't you asleep in the Zapolyarny Palace last night? But you feel... fresh, like you've woken up from a loooong sleep... Wait, was everything just a dream? Your wedding with Dottore, the torture, the love, everything was it just a dream...? You're trying to absorb all of this... but once you're over it, you jump in joy that everything was just a dream.

At this moment, somewhere in Zapolyarny Palace, the Second fatui harbinger slams his fist into his desk, your point of view from your "Akasha" displayed on a screen in front of him.

"(name)... after everything I did for you..."

He'll do whatever it takes, to get you back. He grabs a blank book and scribbles down in a hurry;

"Project (First Name) (Last Name)."

And he breaks his pen, blotting the end of the sentence with the ink. He will make sure you run back to him, but for now... you're strolling in the Grand Bazaar conversing with the vendors, not noticing your Akasha was a slightly different shade of green.

[dragqueenstarscream]

i've been waiting all my life (for you to arrive)

bot with a baby au - chapter one

after a decepticon attack leaves a newborn baby orphaned, ratchet takes it upon himself to take care of the baby until he can find her remaining family. it doesn't go as planned.

author's note: i can't believe i'm actually doing this. this was supposed to be a joke. this was supposed to be a crackfic. but here we are, because i actually managed to come up with a plot. gonna shoot for a saturday/every other saturday upload schedule so i don't overwhelm myself, whichever one ends up working out, but we'll see how that goes.

the title comes from "worlds collide" by marianas trench. if you know the story behind that song and get why i chose that line for my title, you get alllllll the brownie points.

the first lesson every medic on cybertron learned upon entering the field was that you couldn't save everyone.

of course, it was drilled into each prospective medic from day one. it wasn't meant to frighten anyone away from the field. it was simply a hard truth, and the sooner one learned it, the better.

ratchet knew it from the start. he knew going into the medical field that sometimes, bots would offline, and he could do nothing about it. as difficult as his first loss was, he was at least mentally prepared for it.

and then the war happened, and losses became the norm.

it was impossible for ratchet to not blame himself when a patient died under his care. it didn't matter if they came in with their chassis blown apart by cannonfire, tox-en circulating through their hydraulics, their faceplate bludgeoned to oblivion, or whatever horrific combination of injuries one could suffer on the battlefield. if they didn't make it home, ratchet would blame himself.

as trying and painful as being a battlefield medic was, ratchet didn't have it in him to quit. in his mind, giving up would lead to even more deaths, and it was better to dig his heels in than give in to his self doubt. and as he improved in his field, as he fought like the pit to keep soldiers and civilians alike alive in the face of impossible odds, he learned the second important lesson all medics would come to learn at some point in their careers.

he couldn't save everyone, but that would never stop him from trying.

it started with an alarm on the base computer.

it was a saturday, and the children were spending their weekend with their autobot friends. raf was playing video games with bumblebee, miko was trying to explain the plot of an anime she liked to bulkhead, and jack was hunting for his bike helmet so he and arcee could try to break their speed record. this left smokescreen wandering around the base, getting himself familiar, and optimus and ratchet standing by side by side in front of the base computer, trying to find any possible signs of the remaining relics alpha trion had sent over.

"still no luck?" ratchet asked as he moved to optimus' left.

"alpha wanted to be certain that these relics would not fall into decepticon hands," optimus said. "my only comfort is that, if we have the same information, these are as difficult for the decepticons to find as they are for us."

"that's one way of looking at it," ratchet huffed. as he watched the screen, he asked, "what do you think you'll do when the war is over?"

"if we win?" optimus asked. he paused, thinking for a moment. "i am not sure. i would much like to go back to iacon and see alpha trion again. maybe i would return to my original job."

"i don't blame you," ratchet scoffed. "i don't think i could handle being a prime. too much weight on my shoulders. you're a better bot than i am, optimus."

"i could say the same about you, old friend," optimus said with a slight smile. "it takes a strong spark and a lifetime of skill to do your job."

"eh, it's not as hard as being a prime is," ratchet shrugged. "anyone can learn how to do what i do."

"do not sell yourself short, ratchet," optimus said. he thought for a minute, then asked, "what will you do after this war?"

"me?" ratchet said. "i'm not sure. we've been in this war for so long that it's hard to imagine anything else."

"i feel the same way," optimus sighed, his expression changing ever so slightly before returning to his usual calm.

ratchet was about to say something when the screen lit up with an alert. focusing on it, ratchet noticed what looked like two sets of lifesigns moving along the screen.

"knock out and breakdown?" he said, reading off of the screen.

"most likely knock out and cylas," optimus inferred. "cylas must've defected from the decepticons after project damocles failed."

"what's knock out doing with him, then?" ratchet asked.

"he's probably mad that cylas took over breakdown's body," bulkhead guessed. "i wouldn't be surprised if knock out wants payback."

following the two blips along the screen, ratchet saw that cylas was moving towards an isolated building, far from any cities or towns. putting two and two together, he said, "that must be a mech outpost. he's either going there to gear up for a fight or to hide."

"either way, he needs to be turned in," optimus said. "we can't have a repeat of project damocles."

bumblebee beeped out a response, which raf translated. "he's saying that cylas was the one who took out his t-cog. he'll probably try to use knock out for extra parts if he beats him."

"then we had better get going and make sure he's apprehended," optimus said. "bulkhead, arcee, come with me. ratchet, you too. we may need a medic. bumblebee, you and smokescreen stay here. we'll need you to man the ground bridge."

bumblebee nodded and got up to take his place next to the ground bridge controls. at the edge of his vision, ratchet saw jack, bike helmet on, climbing on arcee's alt mode, while miko hopped inside bulkhead's alt mode. he rolled his optics, exasperated, but not in the mood to tell the children off when he knew for a fact that they wouldn't listen.

bumblebee booted up the ground bridge, prompting optimus and ratchet to change into their alt modes. once bumblebee punched in the coordinates, the familiar swirling, green vortex of the ground bridge opened up before them. optimus took the lead, and ratchet, as usual, followed right behind him.

the ground bridge spat them out in the middle of a forest covered in snow. as dark as it was, the moonlight streaming between the branches helped illuminate their surroundings. aside from fallen pinecones and animal tracks, the only things disrupting the blanket of white were two sets of tire tracks, which changed into giant footprints once they went deeper in, where driving was more difficult.

"stay on your guard," optimus warned them as he changed into his bot mode. "they may be focused on each other, but we cannot afford to be careless."

ratchet changed into his bot mode shortly after, followed by bulkhead and arcee. the four bots trudged through the snow, following the tire tracks, with bulkhead and arcee carrying their humans on their shoulders.

"do you see that?" miko asked, pointing forward. ratchet looked up from the ground and saw what looked like a building in the distance, though ratchet couldn't make out the details from this far.

"that's our mech base, alright," arcee said. "there's nothing else it can be."

as they collectively picked up speed to get a better look, ratchet saw the destruction cylas and knock out had already wrought. the entrance to the building looked like it had been hacked open, most likely by knock out's buzzsaw. tire tracks scattered in all directions, though none of them looked like knock out's or cylas'. they were too small.

"whoever was here must've packed up and ran for it," ratchet guessed as he stepped through the destroyed entryway. sure enough, the area he'd stepped into looked like a garage, and only a few trucks had been left behind. the rest had all been taken, and which ones remained had been shoved aside or mangled in what must've been a fight. what remained of the base controls had been hurled aside and hacked through, rendering the base inoperable. part of the ceiling had been shot down, leaving a pile of concrete and twisted metal on the floor, partially covering the doorway to the next room.

"i'll go check out what's ahead," arcee said. she set jack down from her shoulder and crouched through what wasn't covered by ruin to scout what lay ahead.

"bulkhead, come with me," optimus said. "we need to see if cylas or knock out are still in the area."

the wrecker nodded and followed after optimus, setting miko on the ground before changing into his alt mode and following optimus outside. jack and miko followed after arcee, leaving ratchet to himself in the garage. as he looked around, he started to weave a possible narrative together in his mind's optic.

cylas must've come through this way to alert his agents, he guessed. knock out followed right behind him, and they must've gotten into it. that hole was probably from knock out trying to shoot cylas. knock out, i can understand, but why would cylas be coming here and not getting away as fast as he could?

"hey, ratchet!" jack's voice rang out from amid the rubble. "you might wanna come see this!"

ratchet turned in the direction of jack's voice. arcee crawled out of the rubble and started to clear a large enough path for ratchet, who, in turn, helped her pull apart the fallen concrete and metal. as the two bots worked, ratchet looked over to arcee. her face looked as confused as he felt, her brow scrunched up in bewilderment.

the two bots forced their way into... well, ratchet wasn't sure what it was. it looked somewhere between an abandoned hospital room and a ramshackle laboratory. jack shone his phone flashlight around the room, revealing a massive medical berth, fit for a large cybertronian, as well as a human sized bed nearby, oddly enough. along one wall hung a myriad of barbaric looking instruments which ratchet could only guess were for taking apart and examining cylas' hijacked body. feeling a draft coming from nearby, ratchet looked around and saw a hole big enough for him to walk through ripped from the wall, along with two sets of snowy footprints leading out.

"looks like we found where they went off to," he grumbled. "knock out isn't done with cylas, it looks like."

"i don't blame him," arcee said, raising an eyebrow. "i would've done the same for cliffjumper."

as ratchet continued to look around the room, something caught his attention; a doorway mostly covered by fallen equipment and concrete. curious as to what lay behind, ratchet hauled the mangled metal and chunks of concrete out of the way. maybe some mech agents had hunkered down in there, people who'd be able to give up any information on where cylas might've gone.

the doorway was tall enough for a bot like arcee to go through comfortably, but ratchet had to duck his way inside. to his surprise, this room seemed relatively untouched by the destruction outside. apart from dust shaken down from the ceiling, everything looked mostly intact, from the fluorescent lights on the ceiling (which ratchet accidentally bumped into upon first entering the room) and the human sized medical equipment. he couldn't understand it. was the human equipment for the mech agents, or was it for cylas? maybe both?

as he turned to his left, two things came into his vision. the first was what looked like a monitor displaying vital signs. he didn't know how human vitals would read compared to cybertronian vitals, so he didn't understand everything he saw, much to his dismay. after raf's poisoning, he'd promised himself that he'd learn more about human medicine; clearly, he hadn't learned enough.

the second was what something ratchet couldn't wrap his processor around. it looked almost like a cross between a table and one of those rolling chairs the kids liked to play around on. on top of the main part of the table was what looked like a clear tank with a myriad of wires and tubes either protruding from the tank itself or plugged into the table. one wall of the tank had two large holes in it. something lay inside it, but ratchet couldn't quite tell what it was, squinting against the glare of the fluorescent light reflecting against the top of the tank.

crouching down to get a closer look, ratchet leaned in closer - and felt his spark freeze up.

two sets of footsteps followed ratchet into the room. the voice of miko piped up, "ratchet? what is this place?"

"this looks like nicu equipment," jack pondered as he looked around the room. "what on earth is it doing here?"

"and how do you know that?" miko asked.

"mom's a nicu nurse, i know what that stuff looks like," jack replied.

"children," ratchet piped up, raising a servo to shush them. once they were quiet again, he slowly raised his servo to the side of the tank with the holes in it and gently pulled on it, causing it to slide downwards. once he got a better look at what was inside, ratchet's horrified expression melted into something furious.

"bumblebee," he said, trying to keep his voice as level as possible as he opened up his comms, "we need a groundbridge. optimus, we need to get back to base, now." turning his head to the side, he said, "jack, when we get back to jasper, we're going straight to the hospital."

"wait, why?" the boy asked, stepping forward to get a better look. "what's going on? is someone hurt?"

ratchet didn't say a word. he reached inside the tank and slid the interior bed out with one digit. summoning up every bit of care and caution in his body, ratchet picked up what lay on the bed and gently set it on his other servo. behind him, the kids craned their necks and stood on their toes for a better look. as ratchet slowly turned around to face the children, his expression shifted to something unusually calm, but the fist clenched at his side revealed his righteous fury.

in his servo, wrapped in nothing but a thin blanket, lay a tiny human baby, asleep and shivering against the freezing cold air.

author's note: i told you i came up with a plot for this fucking crackfic idea. now to get started on the next chapter. (is this crack taken seriously?? idek anymore. i can't write just a goofy dumb fic. i've gotta do something else with it)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! How have you been lately? I hope you sleep well and eat tasty food!

I wanted to participate in your new blog event. I want to see interaction between ~deadbeat dad~ Crowley and our dear uncles, ghosts from Ramshackle dorm. You can decide which topic they will be talking about, I just wanna see ghosts more in twst fandom. They're so rare to see and it upsets me(ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) give more application to our ghosts! 👻👻👻

(I hope I wrote this right how it supposed to be wrote in this event. Sorry for grammar errors)

... I was going to include the Ramshackle Ghosts in the banner, but couldn't find any chibi sprites of them that were high res enough to use. That's it, that's my commentary 🙂

Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.

Ramshackle was a marked improvement from its sorry state in the autumn. The cobwebs, dust, and mildew had been cleared away, as if done by the hand of a benevolent fairy godmother. Rotting wood had been replaced with fresh panels, and the walls were coated with a glossy new color. The paintings and furniture had either been restored or replaced, antiques polished and set back up on display.

It's almost like Ramshackle before its ruin, Crowley noted, shutting the door behind him.

He strutted a few paces in, his cane clacking sharply against the floorboards. Crowley cleared his throat, the sound echoing in the foyer, then called out. "Ghosts?"

A reply came at once, accompanied by a cool sensation spiderwalking down Crowley's spine. This, he knew, was the telltale sign of a supernatural being's arrival.

Three pale bodies materialized before him. One tall and scrawny, the second small and compact, and the third wide and squat. Each ghost--A, B, and C--wore a top hat and a cloak.

"Mweeheehee... You rang, headmaster?"

"Aaah, there's my lovely Ramshackle trio!!" Crowley cooed, spreading his arms out with a flourish. "Good afternoon! I hope you're doing well."

"As well as we can be in the afterlife," Ghost A cackled.

"We weren't expecting visitors," C remarked.

"What brings ya here?" B floated around Crowley in a circle. "Rare for you to drop on by for a casual visit."

"Ah, that." He thoughtfully stroked at his chin. "Today is Family Day at Night Raven College and--well--I figure that you three upstanding gentlemen count as the guardians of our dear Prefect and Grim-kun. You live under the same roof, share household responsibilities, and have a deep bond. You may not be related by blood, but this arrangement could classify as a 'found family'. That would make you eligible to sit in at parent-teacher conferences."

"Oooh, are we being invited to the event?" Ghost A asked excitedly. "I was popular with the ladies back in my day, but I didn’t have the chance to do something like this. Never did manage settle down..."

"Can we really be where the people are?" B chimed in. "It's been a while since we got to stretch our ectoplasm. When was the last time? Halloween, was it?"

"But all those meetings sound like a bore," complained C. "You sure we can't just scare the daylights out of the parents and siblings instead?"

"There will be NO scaring the daylights out of anyone!" Crowley stopped himself and smoothed down his feathers. "As you can imagine, I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day! Please make your decisions now."

The Ramshackle Ghosts glanced at one another. Murmurs passed between them.

"Well... They don't have anyone else but us, do they? Because Yuu-kun is from another world and Grimmy doesn't remember where he came from."

"They've always been there for us when we needed them the most. We've had so much fun together too. Keeping us company, playing magift, celebrating Halloween and the winter holidays..."

"It'd be sad if they were the only ones left out of Family Day. No one likes being excluded from the festivities."

Silence. Then mutual understanding lit up their eyes. The answer was staring at them right in the face this entire time.

"We'll do it!!" the ghosts cried in unison.

Crowley's lips curved upward. "A most excellent choice. Yuu-kun and Grim-kun are so very fortunate to have a family as loving as this."

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART ONE

i think you're past the point of saving.

together we might survive.

get me out of this damn thing.

we have no time for stragglers.

do you intend to die for a stranger?

i thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin.

you keep dangerous company.

we can watch each other's backs along the way.

enough of this chatter.

who put you in charge?

i'll trust my own judgement.

a miracle, given everything you've been through.

it'll all be for nothing if you don't find help soon.

you're alive. i'm alive. how is this possible?

seems like we're the lucky ones, judging by all the corpses strewn about.

anything's an improvement on where we just came from.

'we'? you want to stay together?

we need each other.

i can't think of better company.

i wanted to thank you again.

you should be furious, shouldn't you?

kill it yourself — you look capable enough.

i was hoping for a kind soul.

let's try to keep that lovely neck of yours in one piece.

no need for this to get messy.

i need her alive.

and to think i was ready to decorate the ground with your innards.

please, allow me to introduce myself.

of course it'll turn me into a monster.

you should travel with me.

our odds are better together.

i was ready to go this alone.

maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.

you seem like a useful person to know.

let's hope any future acquaintances don't hold a blade to your throat by way of introduction.

no harm in a little mystery.

conversation shouldn't be made, it should be grown.

maybe i'd like to get to know you better.

i'm usually better at this.

couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself.

you don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance? a doctor, surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?

it's not exactly a common affliction.

a parasite shared is a parasite halved.

you're both twice as tall as me but have half the bloody backbone.

no point getting killed.

second worm gets the cheese and all.

nobody's getting any damn cheese.

she obviously sees your kindness as weakness.

don't let her take advantage.

a simply 'thank you' wouldn't go amiss.

your friends abandoned you.

i've got plenty of friends who aren't soft.

let's just hope she reserves those impulses for any common foes.

what a curious way to awaken.

what is the worth of a single mortal's life?

something the matter?

you must have thoughts about our little stowaways.

thinking about it won't help.

i suppose we'd go our separate ways — not a slight on your company, of course.

no reason for us to not stay together if we get on well.

if we do survive, we'll have separate lives to return to.

let's just say it's a very person, very private acquaintance.

you're not the kind of company i'd keep willingly.

perhaps i'll return the favor at some point.

she's delightful, in a very 'look at me twice and i'll dismember you' kind of way.

i understand much beyond your comprehension.

you'd do well to observe more and question less.

and they didn't cut you from navel to neck?

i am still getting used to people like you.

that large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake.

best to keep quiet, lest any drivel leak from your lips.

i do not intend to stay long in this place.

may your actions express the same mettle.

anomalies lead to surprises.

what hasn't happened may yet come to pass.

not a collaboration i'd have anticipated.

can't you tell me something real about you?

i have a great respect for privacy, especially my own.

i have a very disciplined mind.

those tricks won't work on me.

please don't try that again unless i invite you to.

we meet again, as predicted.

care to explain why you're helping me?

what kind of services can a skeleton offer?

a monster forms inside us, and you care to be idle?

i knew your kind to be fragile.

don't you know an exhausted warrior is an ineffective one?

it's a thickheaded notion in a complex circumstance.

what were you two talking about?

if that was any of your business, we'd have called you over.

your business is mine.

we're entwined.

if we're to survive, we need to trust each other.

you seem reliable.

we're overdue some good fortune.

[cleolinda]

JANUARY 6: I fought my first monster in Silent Hill 2, or any video game, for that matter. It was rough, but James and I prevailed.

JANUARY 7: I went back to try the combat tutorial again and get some practice. This audio (my voice only) is more of a walkthrough than just the fight itself—a description of the "lying figure" monster, my inability to get over hitting the wrong healing key, the way the game teaches you 1) how to pick up healing items and 2) disappointment, the side effects of long covid, and my continued struggles to get James through doors. And then, finally, we fight. I've improved so much!

CURRENT DAY: I am working on getting some actual video gameplay of my fights (yes, multiple) with Pyramid Head. I sincerely have 20+ minutes of him killing me 11 times so I can practice Basic Gamer Skills. This will follow the video of me originally shrieking for 3 minutes.

(Comments directed at my player character are in parentheses.) {Comments directed at the enemy/monster are in brackets and bold.} Content: Vomit is one of the monster's attacks but I don't describe it at much length (I don't care for it either). A body-horror monster is described but only in terms of clothing.

The problem was that when I was trying to fight this lying figure… monster… the camera was way too sensitive, and every time I tried to move, it was going around the room and I wasn't able to see exactly where the vomit was coming from. 


So, if you haven't played Silent Hill, if you're not—Silent Hill 2, rather—and you're not familiar with this—this monster... they're all fucked up, just off the bat. But specifically, this is a... feminine-looking figure... the top half is kind of a weird... I don't really know how to describe this. It's supposed to kind of have.... aspects of maybe a body bag and a straitjacket and kind of some corset lacing detail? This is all like a maroon color. Uh... it doesn't have a face, that's covered. Somehow it's able to vomit through all this. It vomits acid—HUGE shower—cone of—of acid, and the bottom half is just like... legs... in platform heels. When I get to the actual recorded gameplay, we'll talk about what the fuck this has to do with anything, because it's got—it—this imagery is for a reason. They never explain it in-game, but it's for a reason. 

So I'm having to rock up to this figure—oh, it doesn't have arms. It does, but they're like... bound underneath this straitjacket-type... business. So all it can do is... run at me... headbutt... vomit... I forget if there's a third thing it can do... specifically. These are extremely difficult, actually—oh, oh, it gets on the floor and it slithers around. That's not helpful either. So, that—which makes it harder to hit—like you want it on the ground where it can't vomit on you? But that also makes it a lot harder to hit it. So... this is what I'm having to deal with [laughing] in my very first combat. And that's why I was sitting there the other day going, “No, no, c’mere. C’mere. Can’t reach you. C’mere.” And that's why I said I got vomited on.... a lot, because I have the camera spinning around the room and I can't see what direction it's coming from. And life is already hard. Life is already hard, and I'm already having a hard enough time making this man walk forward. So...

And there's also a stomp... kind of function—I thought this was maybe a separate control, like press this for hit, press this for stomp. No, it's just whatever James feels like. It's just whatever he feels like in the moment. People really enjoy the stomping—players really enjoy the stomping. And I was like, I don't—I don't know how much I like this. It's a lot of grunting. I'm not—I'm not sure how down with this I am. And [then] I'm like oh, oh okay, I don't get to choose. This is just James working some feelings out. That's. Okay. So stomping actually works really well when something slithers across the floor. So I will let him make that judgment call.

Right now we are in this skeevy house on Martin Street—oh, oh that [camera] is not sensitive enough at all. Oh, boy, yeah that's not fast enough. Okay. Settings—you get to come along for the ride with me, I'm very sorry about that, but... this is.... this is part of the ~journey. “Look” sensitivity [i.e., mouse control of the camera sensitivity]. Let's put you back on [0.]20 and we're gonna see how that goes.

Also, I'm kind of... not sorry we're putting off the combat. I... survived. My first combat tutorial, I survived it... but it was rough. Uh... I nearly failed this man. He was at death’s door. He had the plus sign come up, he had the really thick red border vignette come up. We just managed to find a syringe in time. That was my fault—well, all of this is my fault—but that was my fault because they gave us a health drink before going into this. That's why it's a tutorial, they kind of walk you through—here's what you're gonna need during it, here’s what you're gonna need after it, after you've got your ass beat. And you hit V [key] once to take this health drink that heals you a little bit. And then when you have a syringe, you hold V down to take this greater healing item. And I, in my infinite wisdom, hit V down and held it in my urgency to heal him while getting vomited on, and obviously he didn't have a syringe yet, we hadn't gotten that far, and so I just stood there doing nothing, healing nothing, while getting beaten up by a monster without arms.

So... it was an adventure—see, here's what's so funny. Most people know how to do the health drink tap and they can't figure out how to do the syringe because they miss the part where you have to hold the key down. I did the reverse where I couldn't figure out the normal basic thing. Because that's me. That's me as a person and a gamer. I will always find a new and interesting way to be wrong about something.

All right, let's see... how does this—okay that [camera sensitivity is] livable, that's livable. All right, all right, point the camera. The Camera Is The Most Important Part Of Walking. Nobody told me that. I learned this… for myself. 

[In the room just before combat:] I have to point him at the door knob, not just the door. Okay, so here is the cabinet. We're gonna point him at this cabinet. (No—a little bit—there you go. This is on me. This is not you. This is a little bit on you. E [key], we're gonna pick that up.)

This is the nutritional supplement—how this heals you? I—how would a nutritional supplement heal you? Are we talking like, Ensure? Are we talking Boost? Are we talking kombucha? Yeast? I don't know what this is. Why would—why would this do anything? “For adoh”—[sigh] I can talk. I really can. [Reading:] “For adults only. Do not exceed recommended dose.” So we're gonna take 500 of these. Okay. That's fine. All right, and so then— [The game tells you to tap V to use the health drink.] I'm not pressing V now! I'm not pressing V now! Then there's another cabinet. It's empty. The game demonstrates for us: disappointment. It demonstrates for us that sometimes things will be empty, because I would not have understood that otherwise.

All right, so here is—here is the door. I went through the wrong door last time.

[Long pause.]

My brain just... died, what am I doing? I'm pointing him at the door knob. Okay, I have long covid. I'm blaming that on everything. I'm blaming everything on that—I—both ways. I'm blaming everything on everything. (Please walk through the door, sweetie...) [I am struggling to direct James through doors. Again.] (I know, that's the hinge—don't—don't bump into it like—don't—just act like you're so inconvenienced. Come on. YOU KNOW WHAT A DOOR IS! —That’s the wall, I’m sorry. I—don't—don't just brush into the wall like you're just really playing it up. I know I'm a terrible person.)

(Okay, open door... open door. All right... all right...)

I'm probably gonna die this time. I'm probably going to be complacent and I'm going to die. All right. So: here's our monster detector/wife communicator. “E.” Cutscene. Here we go. (Pick it up!) It's making noise. All right. [Repeating what James says:] “Stay back.” I agree with that, I cosign that. 

Monster falls out. It's fucked up. Stare at it a little bit—the ratio looks a lot better. [I had spent a week trying to figure out how to correct the “wideness” of the picture.] That's what I'm focusing on in this moment—it's standing up. It's standing up. (Okay. Get that stick. [Your first weapon: in the cutscene, James picks up a plank of wood with nails on the end.] Get that stick. Get that stick.) 

{Stay back. Stay the fuck back.} Here we gooooo... [Vehement mouse clicking.] (Hit it? Hit it. Hit it? Hit it. Hit it—) {Are you gonna vomit?!} (Dodge! Dodge? We DODGED IT! All right! Do it again. Do it again. Okay, we’re gonna come forward—we're gonna—beat the shit out of this thing, come on, you can do it! You can do it.) 

{No! Are you about to throw up? Are you about to vomit—}

(Get it! Get it—) Oh! This is so clean. Oh, this is so clean. I didn't—didn't— (STOMP IT. There you go. It's not done until you say “what the hell is that.”) [The combat tutorial is over when James says, “What was that thing?”] (Stomp it? Yeah, just keep hitting it. Yeah.) “What was that thing?” he says. [Audibly clapping hands:] All right... all right. I didn't take a single hit. All right. 

(What was that, James? I don't know, hit it again.)

What are we doing? Okay, okay—where—where are we going? Do we get to leave? Is that a thing we get to do? No? Ever. Do we ever get to leave? Here we go. 

[guillemelgat]

Language Goals 2025

As I said in my last post, I'm slowly getting better at figuring out how to set goals which both push me out of my comfort zone and which actually orient me towards what I'm trying to do. This year my main goal is to just remember how to be a learner again; I feel like recently I've gotten a little too in-my-head about how I need to be perfect before I speak, and actually this tends to be a problem I have in general - I won't talk to people unless I feel like I can talk perfectly, but that's not how you learn. I'm also trying to get better at setting reasonable timelines for what it takes to get to a particular level of language, which I have a better feel for at this point, and taking into account how much time I'm spending on the language every day (it shouldn't feel overwhelming if it's supposed to be a brief warmup). With these in mind, here are my goals for the year:

CATALAN

This year, I really want to speak Catalan with more people. That's the bottom line. I'm at a level where I need to be doing language immersion, and that means not being shy about not knowing how to say things or starting off the conversation wrong or any number of things (this historically has been less of a problem for Catalan with me, but for some reason I was absolutely taken out last summer and essentially went partially mute from social anxiety, so we're going to find out what was up with that and try to coax me away from it). I also want to learn to speak the Valencian dialect of Catalan better, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that!

I'm planning to continue my reading challenge as well, but I'm going to make a separate post about that.

BASQUE

I want to improve my Basque vocabulary, and also my listening comprehension skills. I want to finish Eskamak kentzen and also watch/listen to more things in Basque. I think I just need a whole bunch of audio input - I know a lot of the words, but it's still very hard for me to parse them in speech. In order to improve my vocabulary, I want to do a quick vocab review every day when I get to the library, before I start my work. That way, I'll have a constant, easy, long-term exposure to a wider variety of words, and hopefully after a few months I'll start remembering some!

WELSH

I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with Welsh this year - I feel a bit directionless with it, so I might put it on pause until it feels like the right time to take it up again. But I'd also like to get more listening and vocabulary practice - I can understand large portions song lyrics without looking them up, which is a huge step forward for me. If watching Rownd a Rownd seems like the vibe, I might try to take that up again. We'll see, this one is more open.

MALAYALAM

Mostly, my goal with Malayalam is just to keep taking class, but also I'd really like to get over my fear of speaking. I struggle to pronounce a lot of the letters, and I don't know a lot of words, but if I work on these, I think I'd feel more confident. (I do also just need to feel okay with looking like a fool, though.) By the end of the year, I hope I'm able to have conversations in class or with my family without wavering too much, even if I forget something or mess up the pronunciation.

OTHER LANGUAGES

One main thing I want to work on is learning how to learn a small amount of a language but still being able to use it with people. There are a few different languages which I've wanted to learn for a while but haven't had the time - I'm hoping that maybe I can work up the courage to learn a few phrases, talk to someone, and perhaps learn a thing or two. This is very open-ended, but it's more a challenge for me to expand my comfort zone.

Aaaand that's a wrap! Here's to 2025 being a good year for languages, at least!

[roz-ani]

I think that rushing the plot is Hazbin's biggest flaw so far. Certainly, one we can already see. We've only got 4 episodes, and so much has happened already. It might just be my personal interest in the overlords etc., but I kinda feel like we're not focusing that much on, we'll, the show's title. The Hotel.

Episode 3 shows it pretty well, because what can you tell me about Carmilla? I mean, what you knew about her character that wasn't presented in the episode. Same with Vaggie. I thought this episode's plot was about her learning how to trust people other than Charlie. That's how we started, then she had a rushed identity crisis related to being useful in her girlfriend's plan, and somehow she came to the conclusion she should start working on her trust issues. Only one thing was hinted at in the pilot. Vaggie and Carmilla shared a song in episode 3, and I can say with all confidence that it was unnecessary. Telling a character's story through a song doesn't mean they progress faster. Not in the way this show intends to. They did manage to do that with Angel in the next episode. I suppose they could've given the song to Vaggie and postponed the Carmilla reveal. After all, why should we focus so much on her while having so many Hotel residents?

When it comes to Alastor, for example, I believe it's much easier to enjoy his character because we don't really know what his deal is. We have yet to find out why he was gone, we can watch out for his rivalry with Vox and how he's gonna use the information about the exterminator's death. I don't know if it's the pressure, but it seems like we're expected to already know everything about the characters and just enjoy whatever the creators promised they'd do with them. And this is only the first season. There's a reason why these are used for establishing certain aspects of the created world and let the characters develop later. Like, I sincerely hope we're not done with Angel Dust's story arc because the 4th episode basically told us what his problem is and made him change his mind about his situation.

The show certainly suffers due to its format - 8 episodes and roughly 20 minutes per one. It seems like it's not enough for what they've planned, or, perhaps, the other way around. We have half of the season left, and it doesn't seem like the show will have time to improve on its pacing. We can only have hopes for a better-planned season 2.

[mysteryshoptls]

NRC Master Chef Finale

"There is no end to the culinary road"

I don't normally take requests for chapters from events, but I liked the descriptions of the students that I was planning on doing this outtro anyway. Please enjoy.

[Kitchen]

Head Chef: Right. That finishes up the prep work we need for tomorrow.

Crowley: Good evening!

Head Chef: Oh hello, Headmage. What can I do for you so late at night?

Crowley: Well, currently the Master Chef course is ongoing, is it not?

Crowley: I thought I would ask how the students taking the class are faring.

Head Chef: The students? Hmm, well…

[shows Silver, Deuce, Ruggie, Epel, and Jack]

Head Chef: Some do the best they can, even if they had a hard time learning.

[shows Ace, Idia, Leona]

Head Chef: Some are coachable, since they try to find ways to make it easier on themselves.

[shows Trey, Jamil, Floyd]

Head Chef: Some already have highly impressive cooking skills.

[shows Malleus, Cater, Vil, Ortho]

Head Chef: Some are still unaccustomed to cooking, but have a certain spark.

[shows Kalim, Lilia, Jade]

Head Chef: Some go beyond what the recipe says and creates their own spin on the dish.

[shows Riddle, Rook, Sebek, Azul]

Head Chef: Some read into every last detail of the recipe to reproduce it as faithfully as they possibly can.

Head Chef: …There are many different types of students, just off the top of my head.

Crowley: I see…

Crowley: Well, in truth, I have received many complaints from the students and professors that we've had as judges saying things like, "This isn't edible at all!"

Crowley: I was wonder what could possibly be going on… But it seems as though this course brings forward very individualistic personalities.

Crowley: Ah, that being said, of course we've also received compliments as well!

Crowley: I especially find that we don't receive as many complaints in the latter half of the course. Perhaps it shows how much the students have improved.

Crowley: And of course, all of this is thanks to our splendid chefs.

Head Chef: No, not at all.

Head Chef: It's thanks to the hard work of the students who have been taking this Master Chef course that everyone else is happy.

Crowley: Is that right! Fufufu, well, I should have expected such excellence from those attending this academy.

Crowley: I'm sure this means that the students who took this Master Chef course all came to understand just how important food is.

Crowley: One day, when they've become great mages, there can be no doubt that they will look back on this course and be eternally grateful.

Crowley: Please keep up the good work for tomorrow as well.

Head Chef: Of course! We'll make sure that everyone at Night Raven College knows just how fun and worthwhile cooking can be.

Crowley: ...Sooo… By the way, I'm feeling a little peckish, would there be anything that I could have as a midnight snack…?

Head Chef: Is that the real reason you came down to the cafeteria!? Hmph, and here I was astonished that you actually were asking me something so profound at first!

Crowley: NOT AT ALL! BUT EVEN IF IT WERE, IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOUR FOOD IS SO DELICIOUS!!

Head Chef: Well, I suppose, then… Heheh. Cooking can be hard work, but…

Head Chef: Whenever I can see people happily eating something I've made, it quickly revitalizes me.

[The Master Chef intro movie plays, except it is Crowley speaking]

Crowley: "Food," the very foundation of life.

Crowley: Clear oceans, majestic mountains, tender earth.

Crowley: Accept everything nature provides, and use it to nourish yourself.

Crowley: If you so will it, knowledge and valor will be bestowed upon you.

Crowley: Move forward! Never look back! The culinary road is foreboding and grueling.

Crowley: However, when you finally reach the summit, it will all be yours to claim.

Crowley: The crowning achievement―

Crowley: THE GLORIOUS TITLE OF MASTER CHEF!

Crowley: There is no end to the culinary road…

Crowley: Continue to do your best next time, as well. I'll be cheering you on!

Requested by Anonymous.

[bm571158]

Free Now LN4 (Part 37)

The weeks that followed were a painful realisation for Lando that she really wasn't coming back. The first couple of weeks, maybe even the first month, there had been at least part of him that was sure she was coming back, that she was going to change her mind and reappear on his doorstep and things would go back to the way that they had been. Every time someone knocked on his door, or he saw someone who looked vaguely like her in the street, his heart would skip a beat, his stomach twist with excitement and then there would be the disappointment when he realised it wasn't Lottie and she wasn't coming back.

He had tried repeatedly to trick Flo into telling him where Lottie was, thinking maybe he'd just show up there and he could fix it all, but Flo had refused to tell him. If Lottie wanted to see him then she'd call him had been Flo's argument, and while it might be true it wasn't what Lando wanted to hear. It also hadn't stopped him from asking every time he spoke to his sister.

"Lando." Flo gave an exasperated sigh. "I've told you a million times, I'm not going to tell you where she is."

"Just... is she okay?" He asked again. It was the same question that he asked Flo every single time. Every time she assured him that Lottie was doing okay, it was hard to believe it without seeing it for himself.

"I haven't seen her for a few weeks." Flo told him. "But she sounds like she's making really good progress."

"What does that mean?" He asked, it wasn't the same repeated of course she's fine stop asking that he usually got.

Flo was quiet, and for a moment he thought that his sister had hung up on him, but then she spoke again. "She's been in an inpatient physio sports rehab kind place for a couple of weeks. She finally got the funding approved. She's having a real good go at getting herself back to normal, thinks she might even get back to riding if she carries on."

"Wow is that... should she be doing that?" Lando asked. "I didn't think that was even an option."

"Neither did I, I don't think Lottie did either... but the physios there seem to think it might be. We'll see." Flo answered. "I'm going to go up there to visit her next week, it'll be interesting to see how she's doing I guess."

"Where is this place?" Lando asked.

"It's... oh, no... I see what you did there. Still not going to tell you." Flo laughed. "You nearly got me there."

"Worth a try." Lando shrugged.

"Aren't you supposed to be going away for summer break anyway?" Flo pointed out.

"Yeah, but..." he'd cancel all his plans in a heartbeat if he thought he could go and see Lottie, they both knew it.

"No." Flo reminded him. "Go and do whatever it is you're supposed to be doing. I can't remember where mum said you were going, but just... go do your thing and leave her to do hers."

"But-" he protested.

"But nothing." Flo told him firmly.

"I miss her, Flo." He sighed. "Can you just... can you tell her I miss her?"

"You've got to stop doing this Lando." Flo sighed. "Just go and spend some time with your friends, enjoy the fact it's been a really good start to the season."

****

It was a week later that Flo made the drive to go and visit Lottie. She was curious to see how she was getting on, they'd kept in touch by phone fairly frequently and she had to admit it was the most upbeat and positive she'd heard Lottie sound since the accident had happened. She sounded almost like her normal self again,

"Hey! Look at you!" Flo grinned, wrapping Lottie in a hug as she walked over to greet her. "You look amazing!"

It wasn't an over statement either, not like when they'd been desperately trying to convince her to keep going and that every little step was an improvement, this time she genuinely did look amazing.

"Hey, Flo." Lottie smiled, hugging her back tightly. "Thanks for coming, I've missed you."

"Not as much as I've missed you. Are you sure you don't wanna come back and live with me again? The place seems so empty without you."

"Ah you don't mean that, you were probably sick of me after all that time." Lottie joked. "Shall we go outside and go for a walk or something?" She pointed to the door behind them.

"Sounds good." Flo nodded, still watching in amazement as Lottie walked in front of her, only the slightest trace of a limp now as an indication of what she'd endured.

"Lottie this is honestly amazing." Flo squealed in excitement. "Look at you!"

"I'm getting there." Lottie agreed. "It's been really, really hard work but yeah... I'm getting there."

"So, what's next?" Flo asked. "What's the plan?"

"I've got a couple more weeks left on the programme here... then I guess I see how I am and go from there?" Lottie told her. "I could probably use a bit of a rest to be honest. They're working me pretty hard in here. I don't think I've ever spent so much time in the gym in my life."

"Well, whatever they're doing, it's clearly working." Flo pointed out. "This, this is amazing..."

"I honestly can't believe it." Lottie agreed. "I was about ready to just give up, though I was going to be stuck like that for the rest of my life. And now... I don't know, now it feels like maybe everything will be okay?"

"I'm so proud of you." Flo grinned, pausing mid step to wrap her in another hug.

The two of them walked in silence for a moment, Lottie plucking up the courage to ask the question that Flo knew was coming.

"How's.... How's Lando doing?" Lottie asked.

"He's away with his friends, it's summer break." Flo told her. "He's doing okay, I think. He's been better when I spoke to him."

"He's been doing well, on the track." Lottie agreed quietly.

"You've been watching?" Flo asked, although she wasn't exactly surprised.

"Of course." Lottie nodded. "He's going to do it, isn't he?" She asked, referring to the championship, Lando extending his lead significantly in the run up to the summer break.

"I mean he threatens to kill me every time I mention it." Flo laughed. "No one's allowed to talk about it, but yeah... I think he actually might this year."

"He deserves it." Lottie said softly.

"He's calls me, at least once a week to check in on you." Flo told her hesitantly.

"I've thought about texting him to say good luck a million times." Lottie admitted. "But I just..."

"You just what?" Flo asked.

"It's not fair on him." Lottie said quietly. "He was nothing but good to me, none of it was his fault I just... I can't."

"Lottie." Flo sighed.

"Don't." Lottie shook her head, she knew from Flo's tone of voice what she was about to say. "You never wanted the two of us anywhere near each other. You told me about a thousand times to stay away from him, you should be happy."

"I'd be happy if I thought that it was actually what either of you wanted." Flo reasoned. "I know what I said, and at the time I meant it but now... you might not want to admit it, I'm not even sure I want to admit it, but you two are meant to be together. I'm sure of it."

"No, we aren't." Lottie shook her head. "You just said he's fine. He's doing great without me, he doesn't need to be worrying about me and all my baggage."

"Yeah, he's doing fine as in he's not stressing mum out that he's about to have a nervous breakdown every five minutes. It doesn't mean he doesn't need you." Flo sighed. "None of us have ever seen him like he was when the two of you were together, Lottie. He loves you."

"I know he does." Lottie said quietly. "It was never about that. I'm just... I'm not what he needs. It's too complicated."

"Life's complicated, Lottie." Flo pointed out.

"Can we just leave it?" Lottie asked. "He's fine, I'm fine... we're both doing okay for once, let's not ruin it now."

"Alright." Flo agreed reluctantly.

****

"I'm going to tell you something, and you can do with it what you will..." Flo said slowly, still trying to decide if she was actually going to do it or not. She wasn't sure she wanted to be getting herself in the middle of any of this, but they weren't leaving her an awful lot of choice.

"Why are you being so cryptic?" Lando asked. "What's going on?"

"Lottie got home yesterday." Flo told him. "I'm... I don't know if this is the best idea, but I'm texting you her address. It's up to you what you want to do with it."

"You're... wait, what?" Lando spluttered. "You told me that she didn't want to see me."

"She doesn't." Flo agreed. "Well, she says she doesn't anyway, but I don't know... I cant promise that she won't just slam the door in your face and possibly never speak to me again."

"Then why are you doing this?" He asked curiously.

"Because, as much as I didn't want you two getting involved in the first place, you were really good together and I don't know... maybe I've watched too many rom coms." Flo joked. "Just... don't get your hopes up, okay?"

"Do you think I should go?" Lando asked quietly. He wanted nothing more than to see Lottie again, but the fear of rejection quickly settled over him. If he had to hear her tell him for a second time that she didn't want to be with him then he thought that it might just finish him off. At the minute he still had the delusional belief that she might change her mind and come back at least.

"I really don't know, Lando."

"Well... there's only one way to find out I guess." He mumbled. "Thanks, Flo."

He had to be back in Woking in a couple of days time anyway, having to head back to MTC to get back to work, the second half of the season now looming in the not too distant future. So he changed his flight to get him there a bit earlier, hiring a car and entering the address that Flo had given him into the satnav, his stomach churning with nerves as he wound his way down the narrow country lanes on the approach to the address.

He pulled up outside the cottage, heart pounding in his chest as he tried to work up the courage to get out of the car and go and knock on the door.

The noise of his shoes crunching across the gravel of the driveway seemed too loud, his heart in his mouth as he approached the door, raising his hand to knock hesitantly.

The doubts that had been plaguing him the whole drive there resurfaced as his knuckles tapped on the wood. Was she going to slam the door in his face? Tell him to leave her alone? Was he going to end up driving back to Woking missing that he'd never made this stop off in the first place, that he'd just left himself wondering.

There was no answer though when he knocked the first time, and he found himself raising his hand again, knocking more insistently this time. How many times did he knock before he accepted that she was probably in there and she just didn't want to answer the door to him?

He knocked again, waiting another couple of minutes and there was still no answer. His heart sank and his stomach twisted as he turned around to go back to the car. He never should've come here in the first place, the not knowing was better than this.

As he reached the car, opening the door to climb in a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

"You came all the way here and you're going to leave without saying hello?" Lottie asked.

He spun around to the front door in confusion, but it was still closed. Then he whipped around as he realised he could hear her footsteps on the gravel as she walked up her driveway from the road.

"Wait..." his brain suddenly clicked into gear. "That was you I drove past earlier? You're running?" He asked in utter disbelief. He'd struggled to overtake someone running down the narrow lane on the way there but he hadn't even given her a second look, it never occurred to him that it might be her.

"I am." She smiled, walking the rest of the way up the driveway towards him. "Slowly, but it's still running."

"Lottie... this is... this is amazing." He choked out, watching her as she walked towards him. Flo had told him how much better she was doing, but it was something else entirely to see her with his own eyes.

"Don't cry." She joked. "It's not that exciting."

"It is." He grinned. "It's... it's amazing."

"Do you want to come in?" She asked quietly as she approached the front door, pulling her keys out of her pocket.

"Did Flo tell you I was coming?" He asked, curious as to why she didn't look at all phased by his sudden unannounced appearance.

"She may have called and confessed that she'd given you my address." Lottie told him, holding the door open as she followed her inside. She kicked her shoes off, dropping her keys on the side. "I wasn't sure if you were actually going to go through with it and show up though."

"I wasn't sure you'd want to see me." He mumbled. "I was a bit worried I get here and you'd just shut the door in my face."

"Well, you're here now." She smiled. "It's... it's good to see you."

Her eyes searched his face as he stood in front of her, taking in every last detail. The dark circles under his eyes, that seemingly permanent frown line that had been etched on to his forehead was gone. He looked lighter, happier.

"I can't believe how much better you look." He repeated in disbelief as he followed her through to the kitchen.

"Would you like a drink?" She asked, putting the kettle on. It felt bizarre having him stood there in her kitchen, within arms reach, and she didn't quite know what she was supposed to say or do.

"Sure, thanks." He nodded, burying his hands in his pockets to stop himself fidgeting awkwardly. He kept reaching out to touch her automatically and then stopping himself, it was force of habit and one that he needed to break.

She made them a coffee each in relative silence, and he just watched on at how easily she moved around the kitchen, only the occasional slightly uneven step here and there to ever suggest that anything had happened to begin with.

"So..." She said awkwardly. "I don't think you came all the way here just to see if I could walk yet?"

"I uh... I don't really know why I came here." He admitted. "I guess I just wanted to see you, make sure you're okay. I miss you."

"Lando..." she sighed. "Don't, please."

"Don't what?" He asked, taking a step closer to her.

"You know what I mean." She told him. "Just... don't."

"I miss you, Lottie." He repeated. "It's not the same without you."

"You look like you're doing pretty well to me." She told him.

"You've been watching?" He asked curiously.

"Every race." She nodded, although she wasn't entirely sure if that was something she should be confessing to. "I told you that you could do it."

"It's not done yet." He pointed out. "It's a long way from done."

"You can do it. I know you can." She smiled.

"I miss having you there to cheer me on." He whispered. It wasn't nearly enough to convey quite how much he missed her, because he missed her in everything he did, not just her company on a race weekend, but it was the best he could do it out it in to words. He just hoped that she would understand what he was trying to say.

"You don't need me there, Lando." She shook her head. "Look at you, you're doing amazing."

"It's not that I need you there, I want you to be there." He whispered, taking another step towards her. "I meant what I said, Lottie. I love you."

"Lando, I'm literally just starting to get back on my feet and figure things out." She sighed. "I'm not... I know you think that this is what you want, but I'm all over the place. It's not that simple."

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy." He pointed out, putting his coffee cup down on the kitchen counter and taking a bigger, more purposeful step towards her this time. "It might not be easy, but it would be worth it. I love you, Lottie."

"Lando." She mumbled, her hand landing on his chest as he approached in an attempt to keep some distance between them. Everything she'd been thinking in her head that she would say if he showed up seemed to have vanished. Her resolve was crumbling now that he was actually standing there in front of her. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and let him hold her.

"Why are you still trying to fight it?" He asked softly. "Why are you putting so much effort in to trying to convince yourself that we shouldn't be together?"

"I'm not... I'm... I'm trying to be sensible." She told him. "One of us needs to be sensible."

"Do we?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"This isn't going to work, Lando." She shook her head. "I can't be the person you need me to be."

"The only person I need you to be, is you." He took another half step towards her, and this time she didn't push him away, a look of indecision crossing her face as she looked back at him. "I miss you, Lottie."

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like this is a horrible thing to say, but when I'm shown examples of when Marinette is having a hard time, it's hard for me to feel bad for her.

It's not like I think she deserves it and I certainly don't draw any joy from it, but I just don't feel any sympathy for when she's struggling.

My theory is that the show has toted her so much as the all-important one-and-only, all while ignoring everyone else's important moments and struggles, that I'm struggling to feel sympathetic for when Marinette is going through some sort of misfortune. Every single one of her struggles are always highlighted in such a way that it's supposed to be this incredibly-important thing that makes Marinette look so sad, but then she's comforted and validated until eventually, this struggle eventually gets resolved and she's all happy again.

But then there's Adrien. No closure about his mom, his dad, Natalie—nothing. He's slapped with all the responsibility of comforting and validating Marinette, who eventually gets her personal conflicts resolved without lasting impact.

I'm not saying Marinette hasn't done anything to comfort and validate Adrien, but his conflicts just feel largely brushed aside and/or downplayed in comparison to Marinette's, which are highlighted and emphasized as significant events.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or something, and I do kind of feel bad about it, but I just struggle to sympathize with her when the show tries to make us feel bad for her.

Marinette is a fictional character. It's totally fine if the bad writing has completely turned you off to her and drained you of sympathy because the entire purpose of her existence is to entertain people. She's not some meaningful representation that you should want to connect with and understand to improve your world view or something like that. She's just a poorly written teenager in a bad kids show. As long as you're able to acknowledge that fact and own that this is mainly a writing issue - and it sounds like you are - I wouldn't stress about it. The writers have done a lot to make her unlikable! I totally get why someone would not want to watch a show starring her canon self. I struggle at times and I genuinely like Marinette! Her writing is one of the many reasons I just don't know if I'm going to watch season six.

I don't defend Marinette because she's done nothing wrong. I defend her because her faults are so clearly just bad writing and not some grand plan for the character where she's going to learn something, which makes me feel protective of her because I genuinely love the base character concept and what she could have been. It's annoying to see people treating her like she's the problem and not the writing because she's literally not allowed to learn lessons and change, so of course she keeps coming across worse and worse! Her flaws are genuinely fine for a serialized story, they just have no place in an episodic one where the characters stay largely stagnant.

For example, nothing about the season five conflict and final naturally follows the BS season four conflict where she supposedly learned to trust Chat Noir. As much as I don't agree that with that synopsis of what the conflict was, it is how Ladybug sums it up in the final:

Ladybug: Why don't you just give up on me? I've lost ALL the Miraculous! I'm the worst Guardian EVER! I wanted to control everything, I didn't listen to you, I lied to you, I kept you at a distance! Every time you offered me a helping hand, I never took it! I really made a mess of EVERYTHING! Cat Noir: We're gonna get them back one by one…until the very last. And we'll make sure this never happens again.

And yet none of this seems to impact season five. Chat Noir and Ladybug maintain all their secrets and they do absolutely nothing to track down the missing miraculous because the plot won't let them even though it really doesn't fit Marinette's character. She certainly hasn't given up controlling things because, once again, the show literally will not let her do that. The rare episodes where it happens always see her punished like when Alya handing out miraculous lead to SentiNino which almost lead Gabriel to knowing Ladybug's secret identity. Adrien suffers for similar reasons. So does Alya and so many other characters! I totally get why someone would not be able to look past canon's writing since it's not like the flaws are minor. I have the same problem with both Lila and Nathalie.

I just cannot stand Nathalie even though I know that she's as much of a victim as Marinette and all the other characters. None of Nathalie's flaws are her fault because she doesn't exist. It's just that Nathalie's bad writing hits me in a way that makes me despise her while Marinette's hits in a "protect and defend" way. There's no wider logic here. It's just a matter of what characters I connected with enough to look past the bad writing. The type of fanfics I read probably also helped...

My only real piece of advice on this topic is to watch your mental health and take a Miraculous break or even leave the fandom all together if you notice that your Marinette hate (or hate of anything in canon) is really messing with you. I've mentioned before that I'm debating about watching season six and a big reason why is that I don't know if it's going to be good for my mental health. Lila's writing has consistently got on my nerves, but she was a minor enough character that I was still having a good time. Given that Lila is our new big bad with the added bonus of how shitty season five was and the show may have hit a point where it's just not fun for me anymore.

Previously, I had issues with the overall writing, but genuinely enjoyed watching the show as the writers are pretty good at short form story telling, so canon was a nice mix of genuinely enjoyable moments and writing issues that were fun to talk about. That was not true for season five and I just can't picture how it will be true for season six. The only reason I'm even considering it is because I watch the show with my SO and he has a lot of fun listening to me rant about bad media, so I may still have a good time with season six. It would not be the first time that I suffered through a piece of bad media for the sake of a loved one who really wanted someone to rant about it with.

I'm not the kind of person who will tell people they're not welcome in a fandom unless they like X. That sort of gate keeping is ugly and often straight up bullying, so don't read this as me saying that you have to like Marinette to enjoy the show or that you need to disengage if you don't like X% of canon. As long as you're having fun and not forcing your dislike on others by sending clearly unwelcome asks or engaging with sugar posts in an antagonistic way or anything like that, then I'm going to defend your right to be in fandom even if we personally aren't going to get along and need to stay in our separate fandom bubbles.* All I'm saying is that it's important to know when to disengage from a piece of media. To keep track of when something starts consistently bringing you more sorrow than joy. When that line is crossed? It's time to move on.

The sad fact is that, while you may utterly adore a piece of media, you have no control of what that media will do, so you need to be very careful about trusting your mental health to total strangers. It's part of why I tend to be so critical of media. Analysis and plot pitches like I do on this blog are genuinely fun for me, but they're also a much healthier way to engage with a story than just trusting it to be good and getting burned when it isn't. There's a reason I avoid theory crafting. I've gotten really into that in the past and wound up hurt because I put way too much faith in strangers who ended up sucking at their job.

*Btw, the line about separate fandom bubbles was not aimed at you. It's just a general statement about how fandom works. All are welcome, but all do not need to directly interact. Curating your fandom experience is important self care. Blocking someone isn't some sort of value judgement. It's just sometimes a thing you need to do in order to keep from seething when you accidentally see their asinine hot takes.