#and i only had a little bit of a panic attack

[really-burnt-toast]

Hi! Can you tell us more about your head canons for Fena and the other special followers you drew a bit back?

You don't know how excited I was to answer this! 🙏

Please allow me to ramble a little, because I decided Im going to go through every NPC / OC I made for cotl, specifically my au!

These are them all! I decided to finally get around to drawing Echo, Latra and the concept for Nalen too!

Imma be writing down a brief history of them along with fun facts/head canons (who are technically canon).

(all of that under cut, tw; mentions of abuse and death) (I may have missed something. Also brief mention of fertility struggles.)

Fena

Let's start with Fena first, cuz she's a fan favorite!

Fena was born in Darkwood within a big family that was traditional and mainly worshipped the old faith for protection. Their village was often the target of wolves (who have connections to the teeth in the darkness). During one of these attacks, the Villagers had to evacuate and thus, Fena's family were forcefully split up. Fena and their sibling had to spend days trying to get to another village, but were caught at night once again. Fena managed to get "rescued" by the old faith - only to be offered as a sacrifice to Leshy. Mellia (my Lamb) saved her. Fena is currently the head of disciples and Loyalty enforcement.

Fun facts: Fena is a trans woman. Fena was once married to Thorantre but got divorced. Fena is Mellia's favorite follower. Fena's sibling was later rescued by the Lamb. Fena has Cynophobia (fear of dogs and canines), but it's most aggressive against Wolves. Fena currently thinks Thyma is a spy.

Other hcs: Jumpy, definitely the type to get scared and then act all tough. Loves her body and is a proud lust rite champion (why she wears a flower crown). Unhealthily cautious. Horrible at flirting. Would probably crack someone's rib while attempting to. Kinda like the thought of her getting too obsessed with finding info about Thyma and then eventually she realizes they have lots in common... Like fuck, that guy is kinda funny and cool but also, he's definitely going to kill someone.

Thyma (real name unknown)

Thyma's story, as per they claim, is;

They were raised in Darkwood by their family/pack and one day an "incident" occured which left their family dead. The Lamb rescued them and promised safety. Thyma is not willing to speak any further on it. He is currently Night patrol and trying to dispel any distrust put against him.

Fun facts: Thyma is a Demiboy, born afab. Thyma has Nyctophobia (fear of the dark) and Insomnia. They chose to be a night guard to be alert at night. They also wear the Moon necklace to be awake 24/7. If they sleep, they do so in the day. Thyma has permanent markings on his face that cannot be removed. He is medically noted to suffer from hallucinations.

(More story to be revealed soon)

Other hcs: Sarcasm king. Also King of internal panic. Definitely gets horrible period cramps. Gets sick of seeing blood. Probably tried going vegan to look less suspicious but ended up horribly sick and malnourished. Tucks tail whenever Fena is near. Besties with Agana. Acts cool and stoic but is actually kinda pathetic. Monologues to himself when patrolling. Stares at bright lights, despite being told it could blind them.

Thorantre

Thorantre was also born in Darkwood. During the Genocide, his family were often harmed due to being mistaken for Sheep-kin. After the death of multiple family members, Thorantre decided to protest against the old faith and stand for the protection of Sheep. For his spreading of "propaganda", he was going to be put to the blade but was fortunate to be trialed at the same time as Mellia was beheaded. They rescued him and he became their first ever follower.

Fun facts: Short-fused and dramatic. Has canonically killed another follower during a petty fight. Doesn't really do his job as a disciple and is only still a disciple for Mellia's sake. Often mistaken for a sheep by the Lamb in moments of unclarity - personal gossip girl and somewhat Therapist to them. Close friends with Fena despite being exes.

Other hcs: Girls girl by heart. Shameless flirt but extremely picky with partners. Divorced because he was too high maintenance. Knows of everyone's business and keeps pulling Agana into gossip. Gets annoyed when people ask him for stuff so he makes them pay him to answer. Will say the most gayest thing followed by the most straightest cis-guy take ever. Will just randomly ditch disciple meetings because he's bored. Also suspicious of Thyma but for no particular reason.

Agana

First born in the Cult, raised to become a disciple. As a child they were wild and unruly but settled down with age and is now determined to befriend every cultist.

Fun facts: Is afab genderqueer. Had a huge crush on Fena growing up. Currently has a little crush on Thyma. Is usually the first to know of ANYTHING happening in the cult, even private happenings. Will often share their own savings with children in the cult. Is pretty forgiving with Tax enforcement.

Other hcs: Chronic simp. Fandom girlie, probably. She's the type to ship people unironically. Probably saw the tension between Thyma and Fena and misinterpreted it. Says "hello fellow kids" but is actually up to date with trends. Has been trying to integrate Thyma more into the group. Probably gets the most affected by sin.

Latra

Born in Silkcradle to a family of Shamura's worshippers. Latra ran away and got married on the outskirts of the domain. Her marriage was cruel and abusive, fueled by her husband's growing rage of her infertility. Despite praying daily, no one had come to save her and so she took matters into her own hands. One night she plotted to kill her husband but was caught, resulting in a fight to the death where she was the victor. Latra dragged herself away with two of her limbs damaged beyond repair and managed to run into the Lamb. She was taken into the cult and became a Missionary, as her knowledge from Silkcradle aided her skills. She has been in the cult since the first crusade through Silkcradle and has been resurrected multiple times. Currently she is in retirement again.

Fun facts: Latra was offered a position as disciple but declined. She is known to delay retirement until physically impossible to work. She originally didn't worship the Lamb, but ended up doing so after many years of staying. Latra was one of the people to dissent from Shamura's curse. Currently engaged to Echo.

Other hcs: Has had rumors go around about her past. Has been working with children and has been helping rehabilitate rescues. Has babysat a few times before. Actually great at flirting but prefers pulling dad jokes and bad flirts. Wanted children but gave up on it due to her age. Actually best friends with the Lamb. Only didn't accept discipleship because she is worried about her own reputation straining Mellia's reputation.

Echo

Born in Anchordeep before it had that name and before Kallamar had the crown. Experienced first hand his climb for power and the subsequent events that shaped the downfall of the old faith. Was also a disciple for a short while before becoming a field medic during the genocide of Sheep kind. Echo married the general of their group and the two along with a troop were sent to patrol Anchordeep. That continued even after Mellia was resurrected and started killing the bishops. Once Kallamar started growing paranoid and cowardly, Echo started to question the strength of their god. That was met with backlash and after a huge fight in the group, Echo stayed back a bit. Eventually they found their group having been attacked by the Lamb and Echo mercy killed whoever was still alive. Echo dissented against Kallamar and was later found by Latra during a Mission. Echo was indoctrinated and became the cult nurse.

Fun facts: Echo is intersex. Echo is considered to be mute, but has the ability to talk. They only talk to Latra, Mellia and Kallamar (to screw with him). Echo is widely known to be an asshole, but is the most respected nurse in the cult. Echo suffers from mild PTSD. Is currently Latra's personal caretaker and has been trying to convince her to accept the golden skull necklace Mellia offered her (which is included in discipleship).

Other hcs: Fell in love after having to pull an arrow from Latra's shoulder. Has to go in evacuation after being flirted with because they are worried they'll explode (they won't). Academically smart but Interpersonally stupid. Can communicate with sign language but rather uses their expressions to communicate their opinions. Had begged multiple times for Mellia to resurrect Latra whenever she died. Has been secretly trying to figure out an early form of Fertility treatments in order to grant Latra the wish of having children. Also has been looking into adopting.

Nalen (real name unknown)

(This character is currently still a character concept and might change with time.)

Born and raised in the Lands of the old faith after the Bishops had already died. He was raised as a pup to become a spy that would sneak into the Red crowns cult to find any special information that could allow the old faith to overthrow them. He managed to sneak in during a time where the cult was facing a hectic time - entering with a group of people who were starving and asking to be indoctrinated. Able to avoid detection for a full two years now due to building trust and reliability, building relationships and faking worship. His mind hasn't even been read once yet due to Mellia struggling with their new godhood. Perfect time, perfect alibi.

Fun facts: I don't really have any yet, so I'll offer the description of the concept; I wanted a spy character that looks like they could just be any other cultist and who's a species that's both unassuming but reliable and easily trainable. So the golden retriever it was. And while all followers of the Lamb have a red base, his base colour was dark purple.

(same with hcs, but you know the stories of band kids just pretending to play the instrument all year? Kinda that. Him praying and just mumbling the words bc he has no clue what's going on. It's a miracle he made it this far.)

(Also, sorry for the lack of pictures but I got too impatient and wanted to answer as quickly as possible LOL)

[hbpseverus]

at this point i just find it so ridiculous how often this fandom talks about the infamous boggart scene. i mean, if you ask any snape hater for reasons why they don't like him, chances are they will say "well because he was nevilles biggest fear!!" and it's so funny because by doing that you're kind of missing the entire reason why this scene exists.

the point of this scene was to show that all of the students in harrys year had completely normal, childlike fears: spiders, bad grades, and yes, scary teachers. these are ordinary fears that many readers can relate to themselves. all of us have been scared of a spider or a strict teacher at some point in our lives. these fears are not some kind of serious, debilitating, life-long trauma. which is shown in the way neville himself is hesitant to admit that he is scared of snape, because he knows it's a bit silly, and he laughs about it. it was quite literally never that serious to even neville himself!

these normal fears the other kids, like neville, have are there to show us the contrast to harry, who has experienced actual lasting trauma and whose boggart has a much bigger impact on him, which is why lupin decided to step in for him. you straight up can't compare nevilles fear of snape to this, because it's nowhere near as serious as harrys trauma. but in the way many readers talk about this scene, suddenly every boggart represents life-altering trauma. and sorry, but that's just. plain wrong. you are misinterpreting it.

furthermore i'd also argue that nevilles boggart being snape was never meant to give us any deeper insight into his character anyway. it was meant to be comedy. because snape, the evil brooding scary teacher, is suddenly wearing a dress and a silly hat. it's supposed to be funny, not something to (badly) over-analyze as some fundamental aspect of nevilles character. it's just, haha snape in a dress, funny! oh no harry is having a panic attack. end scene.

now, i won't pretend like i'm the #1 biggest neville fan or that i care deeply about his character (i think he's cool but i'm not obsessed with him, you know?). but even so i feel like it honestly does injustice to his character to constantly only bring up this scene. he has much more defining traits than being scared of snape as a kid. hell, in 7th year he is actively going behind snapes back (well, he thinks he is) to run a secret anti voldemort organisation and he is honestly fucking badass and clearly couldn't care less about headmaster snape. he overcame his fear and grew so much as a character, i don't believe it's fair to wash him down to that one trait. just like it's not really fair to erase all of snapes good deeds because he was some kids boggart. i'm not saying children should be scared of their teachers. but i am saying that this little boggart scene shouldn't be considered a character defining moment for either snape or neville. it was never meant to be that.

[stray-tim]

Some extra Infos for anons who want to torment this little bean >:3

- His parents are still alive (Butterfly effect is working hard in this AU)- His parents did disown him for getting adopted by Selina and haven't talked to him directly since.

- He changed his name after 1 year, because the press was relentless with showing up whenever the name Timothy Jackson Drake was put down anywhere.

- He tried to contact his parents a few times in this first year, but was either ignored or belittled for his efforts.

- He and Jason (at the time still Robin) sunk the Batmobile in the river, after they took it out for a Joyride (Both Bat and Cat had been "preoccupied" and the boys were kinda pissed about it)

- He had a "phase" of staying up far too long + consuming worrisome amounts of energy drinks. This habit resurfaces when he is extremely stressed out. This does mess heavily with his nap schedule, that he has to help with his narcolepsy.

- He became Stray at 8 ½, after Catwoman couldn't persuade him to stay home and stop stalking the Bat's. Training him in basic survival skills for his stalking hobby, somehow evolved into him becoming her sidekick.

- He does not know what exactly happened to Jason, only that Robin didn't go out for a long time and that Jason was also missing school for months. After that Jason only showed up sporadically as Robin, until he stopped with his enrollment in Metropolis U. Now when he joins the other heroes from time to time, he always uses a new costume, confusing the villains and rogues. The others started to call him "Nameless", since he didn't give himself a name.

- He did date Stephanie for a short while, but both of them decided that they worked better as friends.

- Stephanie's Robin run was a bit longer, since it was really meant as training in this universe. She did go back to Spoiler after a year.

- The current Robin is Damian, who he sometimes can bond with, since Tim never was Robin and that they both like to talk about cats.

- Tim also likes to sometimes join other villains as a temporary sidekick. Manly the Riddler, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

- Tim is a bit more morally grey. When he helps with rescuing people, there is a chance that he will leave people behind who he knows are bad/irredeemable (This is talking about a single incident, where he left behind a father in a burning building and rescued his two kids, because he knew that he was actively molesting them. He also closed every door on his way outside.)

- Bitey did wipe his memories of an incident once, when he ate a man in front of him and Tim had (understandably) a panic attack.

- He had a problem with overly protective Stalking, that he has been working on.

- He is in therapy, since his Mom wanted him to process the adoption healthy and is still going now.

- Bruce helped Selina with suing the Drake's, since they didn't answer the emails she or her lawyers sent. They only came back to Gotham, after Bruce Wayne's lawyers took over the case.

- Tim's parents gave up custody, when the case started to gain attention from the public to save face.

(I think this is everything? I'll add more at some point ^^)

Character Info:

Stray is 19 year old Tim Kyle - formerly known as Timothy Jackson Drake - who was adopted by Selina Kyle/Catwoman as a almost 10-year-old. The inccident in Ethiopia didn't end with anyone dead, which is why he never became a Robin. He is in a relationship with his universes Bernard ( @basically-bernard ).

He was thrown into this Dimension via cursed Amulet and has found his way back home, via a stable portal that he and others now use to switch between these two universes.

He sees Jacyn ( @jacynkaplanbrake ) as a brother, even tho things aren't too healthy between the two.

Batkid ( @batkid-from-another-father ) is a younger Tim, that he also sees as his little brother.

Duke ( @irl-batsignal ) is also a brother and good friend for him.

Thomas ( @toddlerofgotham ) has started to grow on him and has also become something like a little brother to him (or more likely like his own kid).

He also got adopted by Bitey ( @bite-anon ) somehow. Sometimes he lives with him and other times with the Selina from this universe ( @selinakyl-ee )

The Harley ( @harleenquinntime ) of this universe also got the Aunt title, which in return makes her daughter ( @luluquinn ) his little cousin.

Another close friend is Liminals ( @l1m1n4ls ), who have helped him and Duke once before to escape from DreamCorps ( @dreamcorpsinc ) who are now back, bringing trouble once more.

I'll add to this as the story progresses and I'm sorry for the late introduction and all the tags ^^"

Credit: @/cosmicpoutine here on Tumblr for the lovely art!

[mischiefmaker615]

Eye for an Eye

Summary: Loki does not like the idea of you being around potential suitors and means to erase any form of interaction you had with them.

Rating: PG14

Note: this can have a potential trigger, be warned! it's a hint but nothing graphic. 

Loki shot up from his chair- sending it falling to the floor once you had finally returned to the library like you promised. He was quick to close the distance, his long stride barely allowing you to take a few steps more before his arms wrapped around you and pulled you close.

‘’what happens this time..’’ he whispered into your hair, feeling his body relax just a little bit now that you were in his arms but you could still feel the tension while his arms locked around your hair.

You squeezed your eyes shut, hating every bit of the memory you had to report but allowed the feeling of safety to consume your body once you felt the warmth and smell of Loki against you. ‘’he took my hand..’’ you whispered, your hands wrapped just as tightly around Loki while you felt him sharply inhale and speak slowly.

‘’what else?”

‘’that’s all.’’ you whispered, taking a deep breath.

‘’swear it?”

‘’I promise.’’

Loki’s body fully relaxed before he raised a hand to gently stroke your hair, placing a kiss on top of your head and felt your own body fully relax with his. ‘’alright darling, come on.’’ He said and took a slow step back, his hands taking their time leaving your sides before he stood tall before you and held out his hand.

You instantly took it and saw a gentle smile tug at his lips while he guided you to his side before you both began to walk hand in hand. After a moment, he even laced your fingers together while you both left the library and towards your usual spot- the gardens.

‘’Loki.. it’s a bit tight..’’ you gently reminded him, causing him to quickly glance down at your hands before he relaxed his grip on it, a sheepish smile flashing on his face before he looked ahead again.

‘’I’m sorry darling- it’s becoming a bit of a unconscious habit..’’

You gave a knowing nod before you fell back into enjoying the sights and warmth of the sun. it was always the perfect place to relax after your weekly stress event- the suitor trial.

Loki absolutely hated it. Once a week, you would meet with a potential suitor and spend a good portion of the day with them. It was stressful because it was unwanted- you wanted Loki. You both had grown up together and naturally had fallen in love. Yet your relationship had been kept a secret because you were to be betrothed to unite a realm, while Loki was not permitted to have distractions only with his title as prince.

Every suitor you had met, you had disliked. Even those who were actual decent, you knew who you wanted to truly be with. Screw your destiny! But it wasn’t easy when the whole fate of uniting a realm rested on your shoulders.. Loki was just as angry with this whole thing but knew the throne of Asgard also potentially rested on his shoulders. So, you both decided to meet in secret, normally the library but had to make haste to a more comforting location when you began to have panic attacks with your suitor’s unwanted touching.

It was never to serious, just strongly unwanted and something Loki very much had an issue with. They would normally have an arm around you, sometimes playing with a lock of your hair, placing a kiss upon your cheek or a hand on your thigh. After each suitor meeting, you would return to Loki with a report of what they had done, and he would bring it upon himself to spend a good portion of the day doing exactly what they had done to you.

Erase the memory with a good one. Loki ensured you felt his affections and his alone.

Today was no different and the suitor had latched his hand on yours. Thus, Loki’s iron grip never leaving yours while you felt yourself relax from the previous events this morning.

‘’I wish we didn’t have to live like this..’’ you sighed, your other hand gently brushing up against the flowers as you passed them.

‘’I wish your suitors weren’t left alive after you return to me.’’ Loki half mumbled while he brought your hand up and placed a protective kiss against your knuckles.

‘’perhaps a little harsh- you and I both know we have duties we must uphold-‘’

‘’touching someone that isn’t there’s yet is utterly unacceptable.’’ Loki said sharply, instantly softening his voice and brushing his thumb against your hand in his grip. ‘’..there must be another way to unite a realm..’’

‘’if you were king, I’m sure you’d be able to change those silly rules.’’ You smile at him, seeing how his lips tugged at the mere thought of having the throne- a dream he’s had since he was a child.

‘’instantly. And I’d have you at my side at all times, you’d may grow bored of me.’’ He teased, brushing his shoulder up against yours while you giggled.

‘’I haven’t grown bored yet, so I’m sure you’re in the clear from here on out’’ you smirked. ‘’unless you turn the whole palace green.’’

Loki raised a brow with a grin as he looked over at you. ‘’I thought you enjoy my colors.’’

‘’I do, but how else am I suppose to find you when you practically blend in with the walls at that point?” you laugh and lightly tug at his cape for reference- knowing Loki was notorious when it had come to hiding growing up.

‘’then don’t leave my side and you won’t have to worry with losing sight of me.’’ Loki winked.

‘’then I may get bored of you-‘’ you laugh and quickly squirm out of his grip to run ahead, glancing back before quickening your pace to find he was running after you.

‘’I’ll be sure there is nothing to be bored of Little Minx, you’ll be too busy’’ Loki threatened with a laugh before he caught you around the waist and picked you up easily with one arm.

You laughed and gripped his forearm while you kicked your legs in your dress. ‘’hope you never grow bored of me.’’

Loki scoffed and set you down, making you face him while his hands went to scoop up yours. ‘’never darling, never.’’

~

The suitors came and failed, sometimes you would use excuses that they were worse than they really were just to ensure your father indeed sent them away. The routine stayed the same and you would meet with Loki, sometimes staying in the library but only retreated to the gardens if you were having a bad day.

You had grown fond of Loki’s touch and your shyness would instantly melt away when the safe feeling would wash over you as soon as he was at your side. One day he would spend the whole time with a hand on your thigh- just as a suitor had. Other times he would caress your neck with his slender hands and his lips. Youd melt and flutter your eyes closed and would have to stop him from getting ahead of himself and going beyond what he was washing away.

At one point he would have to be asked to stare at your cleavage, just so you could have the mental image that he had been the one looking and not the ogling pig. It would affect the prince though, and you would often see the affect of your requests through his pants, instantly making your cheeks red but also with a sense of pride how that is how he saw you.

One evening, you hurried your steps to meet him, practically throwing the doors open while you caught your breath and he jumped to his feet with a start. Your cheeks had fresh tears running down them and he instantly was at your side, cupping your cheeks with his eyes piercing yours.

‘’what. Did. He. Do.’’ He asked slowly, more so demanding with a careful tone while your hands reached up to grip his wrists.

‘’it’s not that Loki..’’ you promised, knowing your maid would have done something if a suitor would have gone that far in a meeting.

Loki could tell that you were telling the truth and his sharp gaze lightened up ever so slightly but still held your face in his hands while he searched your eyes. ‘’what happened?”

You bit your bottom lip while you looked up at him. it was not your first, but it was something defiantly special taken from you. ‘’he kissed me-‘’

Loki instantly pressed his lips to yours, the force and suddenness of it having you back up into a book shelf with his body following and his hands still cupping your face. His eyes were closed, lips passionate with a hum leaving his throat. It was a rarity action, something you both rarely got the chance to do in fear of getting lost in passion and truly doing something you might get caught in.

To hell with it..

You kissed him back just as forcefully, your mind seeming to melt away thoughts and just fall into the realm of feeling while your hands moved to grip his shoulders. He only pulled up for air a few times, barely giving you enough time to adjust before his lips would brush up against yours and press into them lovingly and longingly- like it were both of your first times.

At one point you did need to breath and used a bit of force to pull against his chest before he pulled away. Your hands stayed on his chest while his hands moved to rest on your hips, catching his own breath while he leaned his forehead against yours, eyes never leaving your own.

‘’this can’t go on Y/N.. something needs to change..’’ he whispered.

You slowly closed your eyes, the lurching feeling in your chest coming back that threatened to spill out more tears. ‘’I don’t know how Loki.. it seems impossible…’’

There was a silence between you both, just holding each other while Loki kept his arms around you and his chin resting on top of your head. Your arms never dared leave him, wrapping tightly around his own waist while you pressed your cheek against his chest armor. You honestly wished the moment like this could freeze, how it could just be you both and nothing else.. no suitors.. no responsibilities.. just you two..

After a moment, Loki slowly pulls back enough to gently cup your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away any remaining tears while his gaze almost startles you.

‘’..i promise my love.. I’ll figure this out..’’

~

Your fingers gripped your dress tightly, almost white knuckling it while your nerves grew with each step towards the throne room. A guard and said your presence was being demanded in the throne room, and that could only mean one thing- a suitor had been chosen.

You would expect to see your father, alongside Odin to finalize uniting the two realms between yours and.. wherever this suitor resides in. would you have time to say goodbye? Was it to late to run? Or elope- no.. Loki might not want that.. there had been to much on his plate as it is, he seemed distracted lately whenever you did meet. At one point, the suitors had stopped all together or a solid two weeks and you weren’t sure why.. not that you would complain.

You rounded the corner finally that would lead you to the big doors- only to stop short so you wouldn’t run into the Warriors Three and Sif. ‘’sorry-‘’ you mumbled, giving a quick bow to the side while they barely seemed to notice and Lady Sif looking nothing but pissed as she followed the others.

They seemed to have left the throne room.. oh gods- what had happened??

Their cold shoulder reactions seemed to speed up your pace to the doors, not exactly knowing why but your body just seemed to act on it’s own. The guards gave a quick bow with their spears crossing over their chests briefly before they opened the doors for the throne room.

You took a deep breath, hesitating for only a moment before you slowly entered and kept your eyes low in respect. ‘’my king.. you requested my presence?” you asked carefully, holding your breath as you prepared yourself for the speech and your fate while you stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

‘’indeed I did darling.’’

You knew that voice as your eyes rounded and looked up with parted lips, taking a sharp breath while you looked up the stairs to see who was sitting on the throne.

Loki smiled proudly down at you, seeming to have expected your reaction while his golden horned helmet sat on his head, his full armor shinning and his cape spreading out at his sides. Gungnir stood proudly in his hand, using it as brief leverage to stand himself up while your eyes rose even more to stay on his.

He looked every inch a king, a proud one at that and your mind hadn’t even begun to question anything while his familiar smirk tugged at his lips and a sense of relaxation was upon his shoulders, like everything was as it should be in this very moment and somehow you could feel it too.

‘’I told you darling, I would find a way.’’

Your lips tried finding words, your heart racing while you blinked up at him and pressed a hand to your mouth while shock seemed to overcome you with the impossible sight before your eyes.

‘’Loki… what did you do?..”

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing

TAG LIST IS OPEN JUST LET ME KNOW FOR FUTURE WORK :D

[quiggyballs]

day one of working with cishet dad coworker who makes tranny jokes complete everyone give me goodies and pet my head im the bravest hero of them all

[finniestoncrane]

good egg alert!! i made myself a normal meal for breakfast/lunch today and i've done a little bit of writing and i'm about to queue up a couple of asks!!

[a-lonely-dunedain]

Go to the DMV without something going horribly wrong challenge (impossible)

[a-lil-strawberry]

Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

google search how to shut off the fight or flight mode in my brain

[valewritessss]

I feel like I came out of the womb with raging anxiety

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

[orcelito]

nnnnnnnnnnnothing like big big spider on my blinds (crawling on my blinds) at night (at night) big and crawling on my blinds (at night) and knowing i have to deal with it but it is big and crawling on my blinds (at night) and i dont want to break my blinds (at night) and i dont want to break my items sitting UNDER my blinds, but it is big and crawling on my blinds (at night) so i have to deal with it anyways

i. got it. with. a combination Chemical And Box attack. lskdjflskdjf my fabric spray was sitting on my desk (under my window) (where the spider was crawling on my blinds) (at night) and so. opportunistic.

i sprayed it. it fell. I Slammed It.

spider is dealt with. but i had to go into another room bc i was making the most deranged laughter out of nerves and adrenaline.

god im so bad at dealing with spiders.

[ritzcuit]

i dont rly go into the ptsd of characters bc i don't personally experience that kind of stuff so i worry about feeling like ... exploitative about it kinda...........the end

[demiec0re]

HOW SQUID GAME 2 MEN WOULD TREAT YOU!

pairings! : kang dae-ho (player 388) x fem! reader, park gyeong-seok (player 246) x fem! reader, lee myung-gi (player 333) x fem!reader, park min-su (player 125) x fem! reader and choi su-bong/ thanos (player 230) x fem! reader

warnings! : mentions of panic attacks, smut, dr*g usage, mentions of violence (fighting), a tinsy bit of angst. let me know if i forgot anything!!

will contain sfw and nsfw headcannons!!

1. KANG DAE-HO

sfw.

- this man would be the softest, cutest, most caring man when it comes to you!

- if you guys are in the games, you are his first priority and will always make sure your health is 100%. gives you his food if you’re still that finest but hungry after dinner and pretends he doesn’t want it so you don’t feel bad.

- insists you make friends with people so that you’re safe in here. drags you over to his new group who give you a warm welcome. they make sure you’re safe throughout every game which you’re extremely thankful for.

- after the riot, he comes back shaking and sweating. you can tell he’s having a panic attack due to the gunshots reminding him of his time in the marines. you’ve have experience with this so you instantly leave your conversation with hyun-ju and jun-hee.

- you comb your fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm him down which works. you also rub his back and clear the sweat from his forehead whilst telling him it’s okay and you have him.

- it works and he’s calm.

nsfw.

- soft dom. wants you to feel as calm and comfortable as possible.

-deffo likes missionary and when you ride him so he can look at your face and wipe sweat from your forehead. he praises you like crazyyyyy and you would never hear anything degrading fall from his lips. ever.

-gives you little pecks on your neck which get more light and feather-y when leading down to your chest.

- when your legs get tired he can tell and flips you over to help you finish the job. makes sure you’ve came and you feel good before he does. just like he prioritises your safety in the games, he prioritises your enjoyment in the bedroom.

-he’s big with aftercare. wether you want a bath ran with rose petals and wine plus his company or just a wipe down and a massage you’ll get what you want because he loves you sosososo much.

-will make sure you’ve drifted off before he has. cuddles you from behind like a big bear!

2. PARK GYEON-SEOK

sfw.

- also prioritises your safety in the games. he’s gentle with you and you stick with him the whole time.

- he tells you about nayeon and his unfortunate position which you completely understand and you want to help him when the pair of you get out.

- will peck you before bed which the other guys think is soooo cute. he gets a little shy when they mention it. if anything occurs during the night, he’ll rush by your side and protect you at all costs.

- when the riot occurs you had preferred him not to go in case anything happened, only thinking of nayeon. when he’s not back for a while and eveyonr else is, you panic, big time.

- with tears escaping your eyes and several of the girls comforting you, a figure runs towards you. it’s none other than him! you’re super relived and you calm down when he convinces you that he’s completely fine.

- when you guys get out, you meet nayeon who’s absolutely adores you and gets all smiley when you’re around. she looks up to you as a motherly figure. when she’s better due to the money you both earned from the gruelling games, her hair grows back which you braid and style with clips everyday.

nswf.

- he fucks you slowly so you can feel every last drop of intimacy and love his man is pouring into your experience with him. also likes positions where he can admire your face.

- is vocal but not too vocal so you’ll hear a grunt and or a deep moan every now and again.

- another soft dom. doesn’t use toys or anything like that and likes it pure and simple. he’s a bit old fashioned so if you want anything like that he wouldn’t be too sure about it.

- eats you out with so much care and stops every few minutes to kiss your clit. this sends shivers down your spine. you grip his hair which spurs him on a little.

- makes sure you clean and happy after sex and sometimes falls asleep before you if he’s had a long day due to work or taking care of his daughter. you don’t mind bescuse you get to admire his beautiful face whilst he gets some rest.

3. LEE MYUNG-GI

sfw.

- makes sure you stick with him the whole time because he doesn’t want to have encounters with the wrong people like thanos who’s had his eye on you a couple times.

- gets into fights all the time, some of which revolve around you and his relationship with you. after he comes back with new bruises, you kiss them and urge him to stop getting into silly cat fights to which he rolls his eyes but agrees

- he has a soft spot for you and doesn’t really care about anyone else. always has an eye on you and during the mingle game you never. ever. leave his side.

- protects you and himself in fights during the night. will fight off anyone who even looks at you during them.

- during the riot, assures you all is okay and you’ll be fine. he was right. and when you guys get out, he takes care of you so well after you force him to pay off his debts to others which he didn’t really want to do.

nsfw.

- is more rough with you but still a soft dom. will degrade you from time to time with names like slut but nothing too heavy.

- will draw multiple orgasms from within you which leaves you seeing stars. he makes sure your always okay though.

- always comes in you and likes when you pull his hair or scratch his back while you’re getting off. he is much more vocal than the other guys and you guys’ moans combine to make a beautiful symphony.

- will wipe you down after sex but doesn’t do too much aftercare for you. he will run his fingers through your hair or massages you. makes sure you pee straight after because he read somewhere that you can get a UTI if you don’t which worries him.

-makes sure you fall asleep before him because he’s a gentleman.

4. PARK MIN-SU

sfw.

- is extremely sweet to you and loves you so much. initially didn’t want you to join the games with him but didn’t stop you.

- unfortunately he cannot protect you very well so most of the time during the night you’re the one fending for both of you but it’s okay because you love him.

- doesn’t speak up when thanos or any of his other leeches makes comments about you purely because he’s too timid to do anything. you stick up for yourself which he’s proud of you for.

- you comfort eachother during the riot

- when you guys get out you live a pretty peaceful and calm life which he enjoys and he pays for you guys’ meals out and pays for stuff he thinks you’d like which you find very sweet.

i didn’t write anything nsfw for min-su because i just can’t think of him doing anything like that 😭 sorry.

5. CHOI SU-BONG (thanos)

sfw.

- will call you names like señorita which you weren’t too fond of at first but the more he said it the more it grew on you.

-offers you his silly pills which you sternly reject. he doesn’t say anything more of them to you. you hate the fast that he takes them but you don’t want to nag him about it.

- during mingle, he physically kicks people away in order to secure a room for you guys which you think is wrong but you don’t say anything. after he notices you crying he quickly hugs you and tells you you’ll be fine which doesn’t really work but you stop crying anyway.

- drags you everywhere with him and makes you sit with his group who you don’t like at all besides se-mi who you grow fond of. when she changes her mind to X you knew it wouldn’t end well for her. you were correct.

- during night fights, you’re 100% safe because no- one would dare to do anything to you because they know what a nut job thanos is.

nswf.

- will fuck you rough and hard.

- also makes you come several times and might even make you squirt! doesn’t care where you guys are, sex is sex and he’s willing to get off if you are

- doesn’t really matter to him wether you come or not because all long as he has, eveything is good. pops a pill during it to increase him stamina which is already high enough.

- several rounds with him and you get overstimulated by the third one. he wants to go for a forth but you have to make it extremely clear that your body can’t handle it anymore.

- he likes doggy because then he can get nice and deep within your velvety walls. quite vocal and groans loudly, many even louder than you. degrading, toys and tears are alll his stimulants and will drive him on further.

- doesn’t have a clue about aftercare and will simply let out a loud and deep sigh after tying up the rubber and flop straight onto his back. he’s out like a light and is already sleeping deeply.

- your used to it so you just mirror his loud sigh and turn over and fall asleep aswell.

- hope you guys enjoyed this! if you want a version for the squid game girls (both s1 +2) lmk!!

[kisses4themissus]

A Foreign Love || In-ho x Reader

wc: 2.6k a/n: Ahh i had so much fun writing this request!! if you would like a happier ending do please send me a message or inbox me i don't mind warning: (spelling errors possibly?)

Pt 2 | masterlist

You nervously played with your hands as you walked around the room, every team had gotten a sixth player, it didn't help that you were seemingly the only foreigner there.

“Excuse me, could I join you all?” You questioned as you walked up to a group of elders. 

Player 100 scoffed and dismissed you with a wave of his hand. “Please sir, I see your team is short a member..” You tried to convince him. He groaned at you before turning towards you. “Can’t you take a hint and leave...entitled americans!” He scoffed at you, looking you up and down in disgust.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized before walking away. You sat down near the wall and let tears well up in your eyes. As you let out a shakily breath, covering your face with your hands. You didn't even want to play more games, all you wished was to go home.

As you cried, a gentle hand was placed on you shoulder, making you peek through your hands. Player 388 was squatted next to you. “Are you alright, miss?” He questioned, concern in his eyes, you nodded and wiped your eyes with your jacket sleeve.

“Do you have a team?” He asked, helping you stand up; You shook your head at him, “Everyone claimed to have a sixth player..” You explained, he nodded slowly at your words before motioning for you to follow him. 

Trailing behind him, he led you to a group of three older men and one girl around your age. “I have found our sixth!” He announced happily before stepping to the side to show you.

They all blinked as you waved to them, a small polite smile on your face.

“The foreigner?!” Player 390 exclaimed, one of the other men; player 456 smacked his arm before greeting you with a nod.

“In my game we had a foreigner, he did well, he just got given the wrong kind of person during a game...” Player 456 explained.

“Welcome!” Player 001 greeted, you smiled and nodded your head in acknowledgment “Thank you for having me.” You bowed slightly.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

You all sat together in a line as the games got announced. 

Ddakji, flying stones, gong-gi, spinning top, jegi and jacks.

“Jacks?” All of your teammates questioned. “You have to bounce a ball and collect little metal jacks and have to pick them up before the ball falls.” You explained, perking up. 

“Are you any good?” Player 001 questioned. You held your hand out and shook it side to side, “somewhat.” He nodded as the others began to claim the other games.

You all watched as the other teams went, before you knew it, you were the last team to go.

You all got up and waited as the guards chained you; Your team had done well til it had gotten to spinning top.

You groaned as he managed to toss it behind you all, he broke down, yelling at himself for his mistake, you leaned forward a bit and looked towards player 001, “We all make mistakes, maybe try your left hand!” You suggested, he nodded and winded the toy up before letting it go, you all waited with baited breath as it spun.

You all walked to the next mini game and began to hype player 456 up as he did jegi, you all moved forwards as both player 456 and 001 caught it with their legs that were tied together.

“You got this!” Player 388 smiled as the guard handed you the ball, you and your team squatted down so you could play on the small table, shaking you tossed the ball up, you had failed to catch the jack in time due to your shaking hands. You groaned, you had tried twice to get the jacks before the ball fell but failed, you were on the verge of a panic attack as you glanced up to the counter. 

“Calm down, we all make mistakes!” 001 tried to reassure. You just nodded and tried once more, you waited as the ball went up, with a swift hand you swiped up the mini jacks and the ball, you all yelled out in relief before running the fastest you could tied together.

You all cheered as you crossed the finish line; your beginning was cut short. Gunshots made you all flinch; The opposite team didn’t make it. You all stared horrified at the corpses while being unshackled.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

You all walked back to the dorm, everyone's eyes on your backs. You had linked arms with 222, she had explained she was pregnant at the beginning of the game, you had gained a need to protect her ever since. As you passed player 100 and his friends you stopped at his words, “Both the foreigner and the pregnant girl lived, they’re definitely not making it to the next round!” He laughed, you turned and went to open your mouth but stopped as 001 walked over to them.

“What does that say about you? Your team is all old men, who’s to say none of you don’t have heart failure in the middle of the next game? What kind of men are you all, denying an expecting mother and an innocent foreigner help?!” He scoffed as the group of older men stumbled over their words.

He wordlessly walked away to his bed by the others.

You unlinked your arms as 222 walked towards another player, leaving you to follow after 001.

He sat on his bed, sighing. You quietly approached his bed, watching as he rubbed his shoulder, trying to give his muscles a bit of comfort. “Thank you again mister.” You muttered out, earning his attention, he looked in your direction. 

“For letting me on your team, and standing up to that player…thank you mister!” You clarified, nervously playing with your fingers. 

“Someone had to put them in their place, it was a matter of time really.” He lightly chuckled, patting the space next to him on his bed, you sit down.

“Why are you in the game?” He questioned, you softly laughed. “I originally came here to study abroad.  emergencies happened in my home country, I trusted the wrong shady guy to send money to my family..” You explained, he listened.

“What brought you here mister?” you questioned, sitting up. “Hospital’s build up a lot of debt..” He sighed, you nodded. 

He snickered, making you look at him confused. “You don’t have to call me mister, it’s-!” As he went to give you his name the others walked over, talking about the next vote.

“I think I threw my shoulder out!” Player 390 sighed, moving his arm in a circle motion. “I’m sorry about earlier, everyone..” 001 apologized. You all dismissed his apology 

Player 222 had walked over and sat on the steps beside your shoes; she looked around as the group sat down together and talked. “Oh what about her ddakji  play, im surprised she didn’t break the ground when she threw it!” Player 390 laughed, she looked bashfully to the ground, a smile on her face.

“Or what about her jacks play, swiped them better than a thief!” 388 complimented making you giggle; Player 222 bowed her head as she looked at you all. “Thank you for including me on your team.” she thanked. You quickly nodded in agreement, “thank you, i’d probably be dead if i hadn't found a team in time..” They all nodded.

“I think we’re lucky you two joined us, we’d be lost with the jacks or stuck on ddakji forever.” 390 joked, earning laughs from everyone. 388 stood up in front of you all, “listen since we’re sticking together, i think we should learn each other's names, it would be a good idea right?” He questioned, waiting for someone to disagree but it never came, you all nodded.

“I’ll start, my name is kang dae-ho; dae means big and ho means tiger!” He grinned, you all nodded.

“That’s a very cool meaning!” You grinned at him. Player 390 cleared his throat, “My parents didn't give me a cool name, it's just park jung-bae. Righteous and twice.. I guess they want me to be twice as righteous.” He sighed.

“My name is kim jun-hee, i dunno what it means though..” She gave a soft look before glancing down to her hands.

“Jun-hee, once we get out of here you need to go see a doctor, stress isn't good for either you or the baby.” 001 told the young girl, who nodded.

“I’m oh young il.” He introduced himself, you all nodded. 

“It kinda sounds like your number!” You pointed out. “It’s easy to remember,” He laughed, before turning to 456.

“You’ve all heard my name, it's gi-hun.” He dismissed you all, “What’s your last name gi-hun?” Young il questioned. “It’s seong gi-hun.” He explained, earning nods.

“I’m y/n y/l/n, my name doesn’t have any meaning like your guys.” You smiled, earning a laugh from jungbae.

“Very american!” He commented, earning more comments of your nationality. 

“Is it true americans carry guns everywhere?” Jung-bae asked, earning a laugh from you. “Um, certain states..yes.” You grinned.

You all had continued talking till a loud buzz, out walked the guards with the voting machine, you all watched as they set it up and went over the rules once more.

You all looked at one another’s badges. Young il cover his as you looked at him with a slight frown. ‘I’m voting to leave this time.” He nodded at you. You grinned and nodded “Maybe when we get out, me and you can go for dinner?” You suggested, a smile on your face, he chuckled at you “I’d enjoy that.”

You grinned at him as he walked to the machine and pressed the X.

You watched as the screen counting the votes go up as more people voted to stay, you began to shake as gi-hun pressed the X but was outvoted, you swallowed a knot in your throat. 

You stood beside dae-ho and jun-hee in shock at the results, “I’m gonna be sick.” You muttered before running to the restrooms. 

In-ho waited til everyone had disbursed before signalling towards the guard in your direction, you were to busy trying not to vomit in the dorm to notice anyone gaze.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Gi-hun had you all move your mattresses to the ground, he was on edge. He had told your group in his past game by the third game players had gotten violent during the night.

You sighed, laying down under the bed frame on your mattress. Slowly you had drifted off to sleep while the others continued to move more beds and set up a watch system.

You woke up during the night, having to use the restroom. You glanced over and saw everyone had fallen asleep. You quietly got up and walked to gi-hun, who watched for other players.

“I need to go use the restroom.” you told him, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “It's dangerous out there!” He warned, you glanced around the dorm, no one was actively awake.

“I'll be ok, no one seems to be up yet either!” 

Before he could respond, you walked past and towards the side door and knocked. A triangle guard opened the small hatch, before you could say anything the door opened fully for you. “oh, thank you! I won't be long.” You thanked them, before walking into the restroom.

Gi-hun silently watched, holding back his yawns. A tap of his shoulder alerted him, in-ho smiled at the man. “Ready to switch off?” He asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes, gi-hun nodded and traded spots; In-ho waited til he knew gi-hun was asleep before getting up from the floor and walked to the side door and knocked in a pattern, the triangle guard bowed their head and stepped to the side.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

You yawned as you walked out of the restroom, as you went to leave back to the dorm, the guard stopped you, standing in front of the door, facing you.

“Can i get by please?” You motioned to the door with your hand. They shook their head at you before speaking. “Follow the guard.” 

You gave him a confused look, as you followed their raised hand you were surprised to see another guard, this guard was dressed different, his clothing was black and his mask had a sqaure. “Ok?” You quickly followed as the guard let you through the stairs, as you go to a certain part, they turned around and handed you a piece of black cloth. “Put it on.” They commanded, you nodded and tied it over your eyes, your heart began to pick up.

What did they want from you? Are they going to execute you? 

Your thoughts ran wild as the guard guided you through the halls. Finally you had stopped. The sound of shoes filled your ears.

Your blood ran cold as your vision was restored, you flinched covering your eyes due to the lights. You squinted at the figure.

“Who are you?” You questioned, your eyes adjusting to the room’s light, the man’s mask was matte black, it had a sort of 3D design to it.

“I am the frontman, owner of these games.” He introduced himself, your heart stopped. 

“Why am i here?” You questioned, too busy to see the guard grabbed rope and slowly approaching you. “I see you have gotten very close with one of the players…001.” You nodded, watching his every move.

“What did you do to him?” You questioned, the frontman stepping closer to you. “Nothing, just if your safe and away from him, he’ll do better at these games.” He explained, motioning for the guard.

As you turned your head the guard grabbed your arms and began to tie them together. You let out a yell as they pinned you and tied your legs together. “No one can hear you from here.” He explained, running one of his gloved fingers over your cheek as tears fell down.

He motioned to the guard to help move you to the bed he had in an adjacent room. You cried and thrashed the best you could.

He shushed you as you cried, he sighed, knowing it wasn't helping. He grabbed a remote he had on the bedside; he waited til the guard confirmed you were sacred in the bed before pressing a button, a small hiss filled the room. You stared at him in horror as gas filled the room. 

“Goodnight.” He nodded to you before shutting the room door, feeling drowsy, you tired to look around the room for any way out but stopped as your eyes forced shut.

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Gi-hun and the others were startled awake as in-ho yelled at the guards. “What happened?” Jung-bae questioned, rubbing his eyes and began to stand up to see the commotion.

“YOU TOOK HER, I  KNOW IT SHE’S BEEN GONE FOR 5 HOURS!” In-ho yelled, pounding at the door where the hatch was closed.

Gi-hun and the others ran over to him, concerned and confused. “What’s going on?” Gi-hun asked looking at his teammate who sobbed squatting down to his knees, playing the grieving act.

“Those masked guards took y/n, she had been gone for sometime and i went to see if she was there and-!” He sobbed, earning worried looks from the group.

“Player 129 has been eliminated!” The voice rang out in the room. 

Everyone stared at each other in shock. Jun-hee covered her mouth in shock. Gi-hun sighed and squatted down to in-ho’s level and patted him on the back in comfort. “Help stop these games for her.” 

In-ho nodded and wiped the tears away. “For her..” He repeated sadly, knowing full well you were peacefully sleeping in his bed at the moment.

pt 2

[a-b-riddle]

Can’t stop thinking about poly141 who get so wrapped up in their own bullshit they begin to neglect reader. So you leave 🤷🏼‍♀️

It wasn’t a big deal at first. You understood that their jobs were intense to say the least. You own a bookshop, which in itself was exhausting, but you understood how they could get carried away with work.

You had excused the many delayed returned texts or missed FaceTime dates when they were deployed. When they came home, they almost always made it up to you. Showering you with attention and quality time.

But the past two returns home have been… different.

Usually at least one of them made a beeline to your shop or your loft if it was too late in the evening. You always held your breath when it was just one of them.

“They’re okay.” Was the usual answer. “Everyone made it back okay.” It was only then that you could melt into whoever’s hands you were in.

After one of their recent returns home you had voice to Price that you didn’t appreciate several days passing after they came back and no one had bothered to tell you. He had snapped. Arguing that a mission doesn’t finish just because they land back on soil. There was paperwork and debriefing to be done. If and when they wanted to see you they would.

He didn’t apologize until later. Crawling into your bed, using one of the keys you had given them. Blaming the stress. How they had almost lost Johnny for the reason of his outburst. What else could you do but forgive him?

So you had given them space after that one. Not holding it against them to decompress before seeing you.

The next time was the final straw. Solidifying how little they cared about you and how much power you had given them.

Johnny had come in around 7 one evening. He was dressed nicely, for civilian standards. You were reading a book on the couch when he had let himself in. You were wearing on of Simon’s sweatshirts and panties. He took you in for a moment before scooping you up.

He fucked you absolutely stupid. Adamant on having you cum on his tongue, his fingers and his cock. You were only able to bask in the afterglow of him filling you up before he started pulling his pants back on.

“What are you doing?” There were times that you would practically need a crow bar to get Johnny detached from you just long enough to relieve yourself. You had gotten many a UTI courtesy of Mr. John MacTavish.

“Dinner with my family tonight.” He explained by the time he was already buttoning his shirt. “The youngest just graduated and ma’ feels the need to go all out.” Now came the tie. Johnny was actually wearing a tie. To go to dinner. “A fancy dinner in London.” He huffed. “Meanwhile I’m out scufflin’ with bloody fuckin’ terrorists and I get a pat on the back.” He gave you a peck on the cheek before heading out the door. Promising to call you later.

You just sat in your bed. Still naked. Almost in shocked. He had fucked you and just… left. You were close to a panic attack as you called Simon.

Simon wasn’t the one to cuddle and coddle. But there was something so soothing at the sound of his voice or even how his heavy body felt perfect laying on top of you. Yes. Simon wasn’t the time to lift you up with words, but he was your own security blanket. Just having him close helped.

“Can you come over?” It wasn't unusal for Simon to be the one to come later in the evening. Insomnia was a bitch to deal with and you could sleep through the sounds of whatever he played on the tv. Most of the times you were content laying your head on his lap as he ran his hand along your head as if he were petting you. It was a bit cringe, but it knocked you out every time.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. The low timber of his voice already calming you.

“Johnny came over.” You sniffled. “He just fucked me and left.”

“Not surprised.” He scoffed. You could almost see him rolling those deep brown eyes of his. “If you wanted to cum, I’m happy to come over and help.”

For whatever reason, that only seemed to make you more upset. “You’re not listening.” You said, trying to spell it out for him. “He left. Like didn’t even stay and cuddle just left. Fucked me and left.”

“That’s why you’re calling me crying about?” He almost seemed… annoyed.

“Yes!” You said, nearly snapping. All of the tension from the last several months coming to the surface. “I’m not just a warm body to keep a bed cozy until you assholes decide you need to get one off.” Assholes. You called them assholes. “This isn’t what we agreed to.”

“Johnny is Johnny.” Simon tried to defend, not really caring to continue the conversation now knowing that you weren't in any sort of physical harm. “He wanted his dick wet and from the sound of it, that’s what he did. Don’t hold it against him because he had other things to do.”

“It’s not just Johnny leaving.” Your throat felt like it was tightening. A telltale sign you were close to crying. Whether from sadness or anger you weren't entirely sure. “The only time any of you want anything to do with me anymore is to fuck.” You missed date nights and lunches. You missed texting any and all of them about your day, about theirs. About new books. You had been trying for months to tell them over dinner one of your books got picked up. Yours was being traditionally published.

None of them had bothered to even try penciling you in.

“You got yours.” You heard the popping of a can top. Simon was settling in for the night. Once he popped a top at home there was no getting him out. He wasn't coming for you. “I don’t understand what you’re bitchin’ to me about. Yeah, in the beginning we indulged ya a bit? Dressed you up, took you out. But you should have known spreadin’ them legs of yours wouldn’t end with one of us puttin’ a ring on your finger.”

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? These were the men that pursued you. Initially, individually, but when tensions became to much they offered a solution. All of them. Four times the attention, of the affection.

Four times the love.

But also four time the neglect. Four times the amount of heartbreak and disappointment. Loving all of them meant putting yourself in a position to let each of them hurt you in their own way and they had.

John's constant state of snapping at you as if you were one of his men.

Johnny swinging by as if you were just a fuck buddy. Not even bothering to give a peck before leaving.

Kyle essentially ignoring you for weeks now. Ghosting you for hours or having to cancel on date nights last minute or claiming that he really did forget that the two of you had planned to meet for lunch.

And now there was Simon. Telling you that all you meant to them was what was between your thighs.

Spreadin' them legs of yours wouldn't end with one of us puttin' a ring on your finger.

None of them ever intended on making this into something more. That much was clear now.

You didn't know what to say to Simon. You couldn't think of a witty retort. You couldn't find the proper insult to whirl his way. You couldn't convey just how much his words had hurt.

So you did the only thing you could.

You hung up.