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#and i only Just lost.. i couldn't believe it
entitled-fangirl · 15 hours
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Unknown.
Jace Velaryon x wife!reader
Summary: the maester revealed news to Jace of his wife. Jace is the first to tell her.
Warnings: pregnancy, worries, talks of death, labor, etc
A/n: Guys the angst won't stop 😭
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"I have spoken to the maester," Jace began. 
"And?" She asked hurriedly. "Am I well? Is death at my doorstep?"
He couldn't help the small smile that rose to his lips. "No," he confirmed as he brushed her hair from her face. "Quite the opposite, in fact. You're the very picture of health."
"But the-"
He moved his index finger over her lips. "Death is not at your doorstep. Life is."
She was puzzled at his words and pulled his hand down. "Speak plainly."
"Don't you see?" He grinned. His free hand moved to her stomach, lightly caressing it. "You're carrying our heir."
Her mouth went dry. Her eyes glazed over with confusion. "What?"
That made his smile only grow. "A babe." His hand moved to her waist and pulled her to him. She could feel his breath on her face as he spoke. "The maester said a few months will pass, and we shall have a child." He hesitated a moment, "If that's something you want."
He really couldn't read her expression. 
She simply stared up at him as a million thoughts ran through her head. 
"I understand your hesitation. I was too at first. The war is only starting and there is a lot of unknowns. But listen to me, wife." He gripped both of her hands in his. "I know that I want this. I do. Desperately. You and I, and a child. Is that not what we've discussed for so long?"
"It's just not what I expected," she finally spoke.
"That's alright," he reasoned. "As long as you are not going to force yourself to do this against your own happiness." He studied her face. "I want to venture the unknown with you."
She nodded. "I want that as well," she whispered. "Only with you and the babe."
"You do?" He asked incredulously. "You truly mean so? You're not just staying it to please me?"
"I will admit I am scared, but not scared enough to not want this." She placed his hand back on her stomach. "I want to venture the unknown with you as well."
A joyous laugh came from his throat and he picked her up, spinning her around, then setting her feet on the ground. "We shall be a mother and father."
"Lucky child," she grinned, "to have you as a father."
"And you? You are a vision. Motherhood already suits you."
"Only because I am so well cared for."
He kissed her deeply. "Death is far from our doorstep, my love."
Her hands on his chest moved up to caress his face. "Indeed it is."
Only months later, she laid in agony. The news of her husband's death had sent her into an early labor.
She had told him not to go. She had said it was a bad idea. She had said…
It didn't matter anymore.
Death had busted the door down, taking any that were in the house. Wife and son were soon lost, their souls believed to have joined Jace's in the afterlife. 
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A/n: why is it that every time my little fingers type for this dude, the saddest shit shows up
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hellodropbear · 2 days
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17520 hours.
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mapi leon x ingrid engen x daughter (ish)
angst. part of the 'it's time.' series
mapi struggles on the two year anniversary of her best friend's death. Ingrid is right there to help her but she doesn't know how to let her in.
this is a lot more angst than i'm used to posting but i hope you like it.
it was hard to write and partially based on personal experiences so i apologise if it's not very good.
also decided to put it all in one part because i couldn't find a good place to split it!
i hope you enjoy :)
~~~~~~
Two years is a long time. 
Two years is 104 weeks, two years is 730 days. Two birthdays, two christmases, two easters. Two summers and two winters, two new years and two anniversaries. 
Two years is a long time to miss someone. It should be enough time to have moved on. 
But when their daughter is in your care, that seems almost impossible. 
It was everyday that Mapi thought about her best friend, sometimes looking at her daughter and only seeing his eyes staring right back at her. 
The day was one that the Spaniard dreaded, the days becoming quicker and quicker in the lead up, the night before slowing right down as she crawled into bed, tossing and turning as she tried to sleep. 
Isabel was almost two. Still too young to understand that there was anything out of the ordinary in her life, anything that raised any questions. Even if Mapi tried explaining, she was sure that her daughter wouldn’t have the first idea what anything meant. 
She wouldn’t understand that Mapi wasn’t supposed to have her even though she gave birth. She wouldn’t understand that her parents had died because her Mami was right there in front of her. 
It was just a part of parenthood that Mapi had no idea how to conquer. She knew everything else, having spent hours and hours with her head buried in countless baby books, countless books that discussed grief and sadness in children. 
But Isabel wasn’t sad, she wasn’t grieving because she never knew Luis or Isabel. 
There were no books about how to tell a kid about her dead parents. It was a taboo topic, of sorts, one that many stand-in parents were reluctant to discuss with their child, hoping that they would just believe that they were their real parents. It was a bridge most people decided to cross when they had to, not at any point earlier than completely necessary. 
Mapi didn’t want that, she wanted her daughter to know who Luis was, who Isabel was. 
She just didn’t know when or how she should introduce the idea of them. 
But the second anniversary of their death left Mapi in a numb state, entirely torn up on the inside as she tried to decide whether she would take her daughter with her on her annual graveyard visit. It was Mapi’s time to chat to Luis alone, no interruptions, no distractions. 
Because while Isabel lost her parents, Mapi lost her lifelong best friend. 
She lost Luis, who meant everything and more to her. Luis who had moved to Barcelona a few months after her, Luis who watched every single one of her games, the first person to text her after a hard loss or an impressive win. 
She still hadn’t got out of the habit of checking her phone after a match, pain settling deep in her chest as her screen remained bare, his notification forever absent. 
It wasn’t a question of where she would be on the second anniversary. She knew exactly where she would be sat and exactly how she would feel as she stared at that obnoxiously large gravestone, big bold carvings of his name, his date of birth and date of death. 
‘Loving husband, son and friend.’ it read. Not father. ‘A man who lit up the lives of everyone he met.’ It was an understatement, Mapi had thought.
She had spent hours there when Isabel was a newborn, cradling her tiny body in her arms as she sat and silently stared at those few words. Loneliness ate her up, wishing for nothing other than her best friend. 
But her daughter had lit up her world as everything else was crumbling down, single handedly keeping the two of them afloat as Mapi grew tired, the sheer weight of her emotions almost drowning them. 
Isabel was an infant, too young to know anything was different. She was completely enraptured by her mother, smiling and laughing everyday they spent together in their small and stuffy apartment, completely unaware of the anguish that her mother was going through. 
It seemed fitting on the second anniversary of their death, only a couple months before her second birthday that Isabel would finally visit their gravestones. 
Even the thought of the graveyard made her feel uncomfortable, Mapi’s skin crawling at the thought of her best friend beneath her, cold and still. Someone she loved, such a warm and constant presence in her life, lying right there in the ground. 
It made her feel sick. Sick with anger because he was gone too soon. With grief because she never got to say goodbye. With guilt because she got to have the one thing he had always wanted. But mostly sick with the heartbreaking realisation that he was down there, in the flesh. 
Luis was dead. 
~~~~~~
It wasn’t a cold day, but she shivered as she stepped out of the car, the cool breeze prickling her skin as she unclipped a groggy Isabel from the back seat. 
“Where are we, Mami?” 
She looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings in confusion, probably expecting to have woken up in her bed. 
Mapi just hugged her, not trusting her voice to not break if she tried to respond. 
Despite only visiting twice before, the graveyard was familiar, she knew exactly how to get to Luis’ plot. She walked with purpose, not looking at the grave as she laid down the rug, only facing her best friend’s name once she was sat down. 
“This is your Papi, Is.”
Saying it out loud, her daughter in her arms. His daughter in her arms. It felt unusual, it felt uncomfortable. She could feel Isabel looking up at her, the confusion that radiated from the toddler’s body. 
She loosened her arms as Isabel wriggled herself free, waddling towards the stone and placing her hand on it. 
“Papi?”
She looked back at Mapi, a question in her eyes. She was met with tears slipping down her Mami’s face. 
“Mami.”
In an instant, she was back in Mapi’s arms, reaching up and wiping away the tears. 
“No sad, Mami. Brave like lion.”
Mapi nodded, a watery chuckle falling from her mouth. 
“I’m going to talk to your Papi, Is. Is that ok?”
Isabel nodded, settling herself on the rug with her lion toy as Mapi stood up, walking closer to the stone and placing her hand on his name, crouching down so it was at eye level. 
“Meet your daughter, Lu. She has your eyes, you know. She’s funny and smart and entirely the light of my life. I love her so much. More than I ever loved you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone, really. I promise. I promise I’ve tried my best and I hope you’re proud of her. I hope you’re proud of me.”
She bit her lip, unsuccessfully biting back her own tears. 
“It’s been two years, Lu. I don’t know how I have made it through two whole years without you, really. It’s been so… hard. I still expect to see you, to hear from you. Sometimes I think I do, only to realise that it’s not possible. Because you’re dead. You weren’t supposed to die, not so soon. You were supposed to watch your daughter grow, I was supposed to be her really cool aunt that she would go to when you argued, to give her that tattoo when you said no. ”
She let out a strangled chuckle, trying to alleviate some of the pain she felt. They had discussed Mapi’s relationship with the child at length, knowing that the centre back would love the child as her own because she was always with Luis, she would always be around the couple as they raised their child. That wouldn’t have changed if she wasn’t biologically Mapi’s. 
Back then, Mapi had thought she would have been fine with the situation. She knew the baby wasn’t really hers, she knew that she would still be able to watch the baby grow up, that she would still be able to love her. 
It wasn’t a problem that had actually materialised, but they hadn’t expected both Isabel and Luis to die right before she was born. 
“Now I have to discipline her, Luis, which is the one thing I didn’t want to have to do. But she’s such a good girl, she is so intelligent. Like you, really. She knows how I feel all the time, she definitely inherited your emotional intelligence. She loves everyone too, just like you. I was never supposed to be a mother, was I? You were always the paternal one out of the two of us, you were the one who deserved a child. But I am the one that got her.”
She swallows roughly, biting her lip. 
“Oh Luis, you would have loved her so much.”
Very quickly, she is overcome by her tears, collapsing down into herself in sobs. 
It’s all too much, it’s all too hard. 
It’s unfair that her best friend left her, that she was left alone to grow up. Growing up was something they had discussed at length when they were younger. Obviously they were never going to be married, they’d never live together. 
They had dreamt of adjoining houses, doors that connected their backyards. They were going to grow up together, the two of them. Luis would have his wife and a gaggle of kids, Mapi would have her wife and a pack of cats. They’d have their own families but their lives would be so closely connected because they loved each other in the purest way possible. 
A childhood connection, one that grew and grew into adulthood. 
One that was supposed to last a lifetime. 
It did last a lifetime, it lasted Luis’ lifetime. Just not Mapi’s. 
She calmed herself down after a couple minutes, Isabel unsurprisingly noticing her mother’s sadness and crawling into her arms as a source of comfort. 
They sat there for hours, an easy silence settling upon the pair. Mapi was deep in thought, Isabel knew it wasn’t the time for play, it wasn’t the time for her mindless babbling. 
It had been a couple hours when she heard the footsteps, people approaching silently. 
She hadn’t expected to see anyone there, but upon reflection she realised she had been naive - it was the anniversary after all. 
“Maria?”
She hadn’t heard Ane’s voice in two years. The last conversation they had was full of empty promises, of visits to Zaragoza that Mapi knew she would not go on. Promises that they would get to know the child that was growing in Mapi’s stomach, promises that they wouldn’t lose touch. 
They had lost touch, Mapi unable to visit Luis’ home whenever she returned to her parents. Ane and Mikel were in too much pain to see the child, not sure how they could face it. 
“Ane.” She stood up, facing the older woman and allowing herself to be enveloped in her arms. 
“It’s so good to see you, Maria.”
Mapi could only nod, her eyes still watery and her face still red. It had been a long morning. 
She turned to face Mikel, who was staring straight forward, his eyes only softening as Mapi grabbed his hand and kissed it. 
“I have missed you both.” She smiled softly. It was a sad smile, but a real one. 
They were Luis’ parents, of course, but they were her pseudo parents whenever she needed them. They were so close, especially when Mapi and Luis were in their teenage years. 
“Is this… is that her?”
Ane looked down at the curly headed girl, her eyes softening as she watched her play with her toys. 
“Isabel Luisa.” Mapi nodded. “I thought today would be a good day for her to come visit.”
The older woman looked down at the child adoringly, smiling as she looked up at the unfamiliar adults. 
It was a bit awkward for a few moments, as Mapi, Mikel and Ane sat in an uncomfortable silence. 
Mapi excused herself, moving away to the bathrooms but leaving her belongings by the grave. She knew she wanted to talk to them, that they wanted to talk to her. 
She also knew they needed some time alone before they would be able to. 
But she did return, sitting down on her rug right beside the older couple. 
And Ane spoke, her voice soft, her voice sad. 
She told Mapi how grateful she is, how glad she is that she took Isabel in, that she didn’t even question it. How grateful she is that Mapi did everything to make her son happy all throughout his life, from buying him an extra chocolate bar when they were children to carrying his baby for him when he and his wife were unable to do it. 
Ane told her that she had given him his one dream, fatherhood. It was just unlucky that he wasn’t alive to live it. 
There were tears in her eyes as she told her how grateful Luis would be. How much he loved her. How happy he would be that his daughter ended up with the Spaniard, the person he probably trusted the most in the world. 
Mapi nodded her appreciation, sitting with the two adults for a while longer before Isabel grew tired, the sun falling down, the afternoon turning into evening. 
She said a tearful goodbye, collecting her things and standing, Mikel standing up as well and walking her to her car. 
“She looks just like him.” His words were soft, softer than Mapi had ever heard him. “I have thought about you every day, Maria. You and her. I am so relieved to see you here because I worried so much about you. I worried that you wouldn’t be ok, that you’d not be able to raise her. Not because I doubted you, but because I know how hard it is to lose people.”
Mapi nodded softly, looking up at the man. 
“I don’t doubt that you have had a hard time, but I also don’t doubt that you’re a good Mami. A great Mami to this little girl.”
“Thanks, Mikel.”
He nodded, that was all he needed to say. 
It was all he needed to say for Mapi to tear up again, picking Isabel up and holding her in his space. He looked at the Spaniard, who nodded, before placing a soft kiss on her head. 
“Come visit, Maria. When you come home. Bring the little one too.”
Mapi nodded, a smile on her face. 
This time, it wasn’t an empty promise. 
~~~~~~
She got home to an empty apartment. Quiet, dark. She could have texted Ingrid, the Norwegian likely would have come over in an instant, her warm arms right there for endless comfort. 
But she couldn’t bring herself to open her phone, couldn’t bring herself to stand up and walk over to the kitchen table where it was sitting. Instead, she stayed seated, relaxed back on the sofa with tears tracking down her face as she stared blankly at the wall. 
It wasn’t often that she was left alone with her thoughts. Not when she had a chatty toddler to look after, a loving girlfriend who spent every day trying to make Mapi happy. It worked, because Ingrid did make her happy, happier than she’d ever been. 
And Isabel also made her happy, she was the best thing in the Spaniard’s life. 
So why did she feel so sad? Why was Luis’ death still so hard for her to process?
Two years felt like too long to still be so upset about it all. She wondered when it would go away. If it would ever go away. 
His death was something that Mapi didn’t think she would ever be able to comprehend. She was able to live her life as normal again, plastering a smile to cover up the mess that she was on the inside. But it had taken such a long time to even get to that point, despite her daughter’s positive presence.  
Everyone knew how long it had taken. Mapi didn’t think anyone really knew how broken up she still felt about it. A part of her was embarrassed, embarrassed that she still hadn’t gotten over it. Was still yet to move on. 
Even as she thought it over, progress seemed so impossible. The thought of moving on like so many people had told her to do made her feel sick, because how was she supposed to move on when he was everything to her?
She didn’t sleep that night, barely able to smile as she fed Isabel and put her to bed. The toddler knew something was wrong, of course, a frown on her face as Mapi put her down for the evening. 
Isabel had seen Mapi sad before. Lots of times, really, but her mother usually tried her best to hide it from her. She would push the emotions down and far away as she interacted with her kid but Isabel was so perceptive, so in tune with Mapi’s emotions. 
She knew whenever Mapi was sad. It made her feel sad too. 
But Isabel never would have known that her mother was sitting in the same spot on the sofa all night, her mind a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions, resisting any rest that tried to fall upon her. 
She wasn’t sure if she regretted telling Ingrid that she wanted to be alone for the day, that her girlfriend shouldn’t come over like she usually did. The Spaniard just didn’t know if it would make it better or worse. She didn’t know how to alleviate herself from some of the pain she felt. 
She realised she didn’t know much at all. 
Mapi watched as the sun rose outside, the night becoming morning. The new day arriving along with the sounds of birds chirping, the city happily waking up as the clouds had gone away and the sun had finally come out. 
Two years and one day. 
Her daughter’s whining was audible from her spot in the main room as she woke up. Her daughter’s whining was probably the only thing that would have successfully moved her from her seat. 
“Mami!” Isabel frowned at the sight of her mother as her door opened, dark bags beneath her red and puffy eyes. 
“Good morning, my girl.”
She smiled weakly, kneeling beside her toddler and raking her hand through her hair as Isabel became more aware of her surroundings. 
It was a slow morning; a slow rise from bed and a slow breakfast. The toddler was still in her pyjamas by 10, her hair and teeth remained unbrushed. 
It was no surprise that Ingrid was on the other side of the door at 11, Isabel opening the door when she heard the knocks. The Norwegian had a bright smile on her face as she scooped Isabel up into her arms and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. 
“Mami, Ingrid.” She pointed over at where Mapi was standing, and it was one glance at the Spaniard that told Ingrid that despite her promise that she’d be alright, her girlfriend was definitely not ok. Her smile faded and she frowned slightly, concern etched deep into her features, 
Her steps towards Mapi were tentative, unsure how to approach the situation. 
It wasn’t that she didn’t know Mapi, of course she knew her. She just didn’t know about Mapi’s grief. She had heard from teammates that she hadn’t dealt with the death well, that she had locked herself up in her house for months, over a year. But it was one topic that the Spaniard avoided at all costs, a master of changing the subject whenever it would come up. 
Ingrid never felt like it was her place to pry. 
But now, seeing her girlfriend so… broken, so depleted, it made her regret not being more insistent in those times. Because maybe if they spoke about it then, she would know how to help. 
But in that moment, she had no idea what to do. 
“Maria…” Her voice was quiet. “I’ve missed you.”
Mapi didn’t reply, but she could feel Ingrid’s free arm wrapping around her and she immediately clung onto her girlfriend. She was desperate and Ingrid was a lifeline. 
“Alright. Isabel, do you want to go play with Bagheera for a minute?”
The child nodded as she was placed back on the floor, walking out of the kitchen and into the lounge where the cat was likely waking up from her nap. 
Mapi, still clinging onto the Norwegian’s arm, frowned slightly, still not willing herself to make eye contact with Ingrid. 
“You’re not ok, Mapi, are you?”
She didn’t nod, she didn’t shake her head. Her mouth remained completely sealed. 
But Ingrid knew her well enough to recognise the tears that filled up her eyes, the way her hand trembled against the Norwegian’s skin. 
The brunette softened, her worries confirmed; leaving Mapi alone for the entire previous day was probably one of the worst promises she had ever made. She shouldn’t have agreed to it, not when she knew that Mapi would need her. 
“Ok. It’s ok. You’ll be ok, Maria. I just want you to sit down for me.”
She led her around to the other side of the kitchen bench, sitting down in a seat right beside her and wrapping her arm around the Spaniard’s shoulders. 
The Norwegian could feel herself becoming more and more anxious at Mapi’s almost catatonic state, entirely unequipped and unsure how to deal with it. 
It took half an hour of speaking to Mapi with no response for Ingrid to realise that she couldn’t do anything. A heartbreaking realisation of sorts, but one that she needed to have in order to help her.  
She knew she should be able to do this herself, she wished that it didn’t have to be so hard. But Alexia had been there before Ingrid, Alexia had been there for Mapi during Isabel’s infancy, right after she lost Luis. 
So she sent the Spanish midfielder a quick text, alerting her of the centre back’s state.
She felt guilty as the relief surged through her, Alexia assuring her that she would be there soon. 
However, neither the Spaniard nor the Norwegian could see the toddler’s tears, her quiet whimpers of anxiety and upset. 
Isabel didn’t like seeing Mapi upset, not at all. She was a happy person, usually, a permanent smile on her face, energetic as she played with the toddler. 
But she sat and stroked Bagheera, silent tears streaming down her little face with one thought on her mind. Why was Mami so sad all of a sudden? And why did it make her feel so miserable too?
Alexia arrived in a flurry, her heart dropping at the sight of her friend as she rushed towards her, immediately pulling her into a suffocating hug. 
“Maria, Maria. Come on, please. Say something.” Her voice sounded urgent and Ingrid could only watch, worry and confusion clear on her face. 
With no response, Alexia leaned back, staring straight into Mapi’s eyes. She could read the centre back like a book and her eyes told her everything she needed to know. 
“Ale.”
She frowned, tilting her head at the blonde in front of her. 
“Mapi, breathe. Take a deep breath in.”
Ingrid slipped out of the room as Mapi followed Alexia, breathing in and out slowly until she collapsed into Alexia’s arms, the tears spilling from her eyes easily as she reconnected with reality. 
It was her reaction to sadness, Mapi had realised a few months ago. Disconnecting from the world around her, unable to move, speak. She could barely hear anything, see anything until it was right in front of her face. 
She couldn’t feel anything either, but that was a more common response, something that she couldn’t be pulled out of so easily. 
She hated it, more than anything. Because when she was pulled from her state of disconnect, she felt nothing but terror, an overwhelming sadness that came rushing back as soon as that trap door opened. 
It was like her body was trying to protect her from feeling, the emotions just too much. It would just shut down until she was numb, not really registering that at some point she just had to feel it because there was no way of getting away from those emotions. 
Alexia had seen it all before and she was usually the one to grab Mapi, to shake her out of her headspace and bring her back to reality. 
It was terrifying for her too, especially the first time she witnessed it. 
“Ale.”
Mapi’s sobs had been reduced to quiet whimpers into Alexia’s shoulder after a while, her mind throwing itself through all her thoughts, all her emotions. Luis was gone, Luis had been gone for two years. She has his daughter, her Isabel who she loves so much. Ingrid was here but now she is not, where has Ingrid gone? Alexia, right in front of her, fear visible in the midfielder’s eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it. 
Luis was gone, Isabel was hers. Ingrid was gone, Alexia was here.
Luis, Isabel, Ingrid, Alexia.
Her four people. 
She felt her breath hitch, Alexia’s arms tightening around her. 
She felt the tears dripping down from her eyes, saturating the fabric of Alexia’s shirt, the wet fabric now uncomfortable to rest her face on. 
She could hear Alexia’s breathing, the sound of her heart racing. 
Feel Alexia’s arms around her, the floor beneath her feet and the chair that she was sitting on. 
Taste the salty tears. Tears of grief, fear, confusion. 
Luis, Isabel, Ingrid, Alexia. 
“Ale, where is Isabel?”
~~~~~~
Ingrid slipped out of the room easily, not needed as Alexia dealt with Mapi’s overwhelming emotions. 
Mapi’s cries were audible from the main room she found herself in, wincing as she walked towards Isabel who was still stroking Bagheera, her movements fluid and repetitive, a consistent cycle that easily could have rubbed a groove into the cat’s black fur. 
The Norwegian couldn’t see the tears that had stained the little girl's face, still spilling from her eyes no matter how hard she tried to blink them away. 
But her shoulders shook unnaturally, a shuddering inhale that had Ingrid picking up her pace and sitting down right beside Isabel and pulling her into her arms as soon as she noticed how upset she was. 
Silently, she placed a thoughtful kiss on the crown of her head, her heart breaking at the silent tears, at Isabel's defeated demeanour. 
No toddler should know how to cry silently. 
"What's wrong, Is?"
At her words, Isabel promptly spun around in Ingrid's arms, collapsing into her and crying audibly, her entire body weight relying on the Norwegian to be held.
"Mami sad, Ingrid. I'm sad too!"
Her voice was broken and Ingrid’s heart dropped at the sound of it. 
It wasn’t hard to leave, understanding that Isabel needed to get out of the apartment, that she needed to be away from the inconsolable Mapi who could still be heard crying in the kitchen. 
So she left, slipping out the front door and carrying Isabel down to the street, holding her tight as she cried, walking over to the park. 
By the time they reached their familiar bench, her cries had weakened, only releasing quiet puffs of air every few moments as she relished in the comfort of Ingrid’s arms. 
The Norwegian sat down, loosening her grip on the toddler and manoeuvring her so that they were looking right at each other. Ingrid’s frown was light and her hands were soft as she reached out and wiped the tears away from Isabel’s wet cheeks, cupping her face when she was done. 
Words failed the defender as she looked at the toddler, her uncanny resemblance to Mapi heightened in her upset state. 
She matched her mother perfectly, Ingrid thought, trying to avoid that voice in the back of her head that she would never be enough. Their smiles were identical and their laughs sounded the same. They both carried the same exasperated sigh, the confused frown and those doe eyes that were impossible to say no to. But they carried the same tears, the same cries. 
Mapi’s emotions were often reflected in her daughter, whether it was happiness, excitement, fear, sadness. Isabel was smart - emotionally intelligent. It was like she always knew exactly how her Mami was feeling, even if she wasn’t old enough to understand why, to understand what those feelings were. 
This was one of those times when she had no idea what this sadness meant. She could clearly feel the sadness, feel her mother was sad. But she wasn’t even two yet, how could she possibly be expected to process those emotions like someone years older?
Ingrid wasn’t bad with kids either. There were heaps of children in her family; cousins, nieces, nephews. She’d been there throughout all of their childhoods, able to comfort them and soothe them enough until their parents came back. 
But Isabel’s sadness was completely new territory, there was no waiting for Mapi to arrive because Ingrid knew she wouldn’t. It was up to her to calm down the child but for the first time, she was completely stumped. 
She didn’t know what she could say to calm her down. She didn’t know how Isabel felt, she was too young to be able to express her emotions, to talk through what she was feeling. 
But this wasn’t a tantrum or a small cry over a minor convenience. This was a meltdown, caused by her overwhelming emotions that she couldn’t quite comprehend. 
“Ingrid…” 
She spoke quietly, leaning into the comfort of the Norwegian’s hands on her face. 
Ingrid nodded, encouraging the child to continue. 
“Why my Papi a rock?” 
The Norwegian’s face softened, her heart sinking as she tried to subtly release an exhale that she had been holding in. 
Unsure what she was going to say, she opened her mouth. But Isabel was too quick, raising her voice another time. 
“Why Mami sad at rock?”
“Is…” 
The child looked up at her, eyes shining with unshed tears, pure innocence reflected in her eyes, her features. 
“Isabel. Your Papi, he’s not a rock. Your Papi was a person, a very good person.”
The child frowned, confusion etched deep into her features. Ingrid thought she seemed entirely too concerned for a not quite two year old. 
“He died before you were born though, Is. Mami is sad today because she misses him. She misses your Papi.”
She doubted Isabel would even understand what she was trying to say. She didn’t know when children were supposed to understand the concept of death, the concept of life. 
Definitely not before the age of two. 
So Ingrid decided to try to move away from the topic, her new goal just to bring a smile back onto Isabel’s face. It was the least she could do, really. 
“But it’s ok, Is, because you have Mami and you have me and you have Alexia and you have Leila and Patri and Pina! You love all of those people don’t you?”
Isabel nodded easily, a smile creeping onto her face. 
“I love them so much. Especially Mami. And you, Ingrid!” 
Ingrid chuckled, her laughs a superficial cover of the anxieties and concern she felt. Because Isabel was right here calming down in her arms, but she had no idea of the state of Mapi, she had no idea how long this happiness would last. 
“And everyone I just mentioned loves you too. And your Papi, he loves you as well but he loves you from somewhere else. You have people everywhere loving you!” 
Ingrid beamed, trying to make the conversation feel more lighthearted. It was a successful attempt, apparently, because Isabel replicated her smile and turned herself around, sitting back down in Ingrid’s lap and leaning into her chest. 
“I love you Ingrid.”
The Norwegian could only smile sadly, planting a thoughtful kiss on Isabel’s head. 
~~~~~~
Mapi’s head was a mess, Alexia had realised. Her emotions all over the place, her priorities set in a weird and confusing line. 
The tears had eventually ran out and she was clearly exhausted, her head in Alexia’s lap as the blonde spoke softly. The familiar Spanish was a comfort to Mapi’s ears, the words meaningful, flooded with emotion.
“You need to worry about what is important right now,” Alexia had murmured, her hands combing through Mapi’s hair. It was reminiscent of how the centre back calmed her own daughter, soft hands and quiet words. 
It was reminiscent of how Mapi’s own mother used to soothe her, nostalgic and comforting. 
“Luis is important, of course he is. But he’s gone, Maria. If you’re going to worry about anything it has to be yourself, it has to be Isabel. You have to think about Ingrid, how to prioritise your relationship on top of everything else.”
Alexia shook her head at that, sighing almost silently. 
“Ingrid will try not to let you focus on her, but you have to try. You have to show her how much you love her like I know you do. That she’s your person.”
Mapi looked up at Alexia, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned. 
“She… she doesn’t know that?”
“She does know that, of course she does. But sometimes you need to put her first. Sometimes she needs you the most. Sometimes, she needs you more than Isabel does. She wants to know all of you, Mapi, even this part. She wants to understand your grief, to know what to do when you are having a hard time. She wants me to look after Isabel while she comforts you because she loves you. You are her person, just like she is yours.”
Mapi frowned again, swallowing back the tears that threatened to fill up her eyes. Because Ingrid was everything to her, of course she was. She was the person that Mapi loved more than anyone, the first person she had ever really and truly fallen in love with. But Alexia was right. More often than not, her attention was pulled away from Ingrid, Isabel making an appearance. Maybe she was hungry, thirsty, tired. She could have been bored or overexcited or maybe she just couldn’t sleep. 
Because Isabel was her baby girl, her last connection to Luis; her last connection to her person before Ingrid. 
It was somewhat painful for Mapi to consider how these small things would have hurt the Norwegian, how they would have all built up over time, building Ingrid’s thick skin, the impenetrable strength and sometimes superficial happiness that the Spaniard wished to break down.
“What do I do, Ale?”
Her voice broke and Alexia pulled her upwards, straight into a hug. 
“You talk to her.”
Mapi nodded, falling back down to her lying position on the sofa, the exhaustion of the day overcoming her despite it only being 12pm. 
Alexia could tell the exact moment she fell asleep, her breathing evening out and her body finally relaxing. 
The midfielder had expected something like this to happen today. She knew that Luis’ death was a date engraved in her friend’s mind, one that could never pass without any upset, any thought. 
It was only the second anniversary so of course it would bring up all of the emotions that were left and ignored two years ago, Mapi’s grief pushed away by the little baby Isabel. The same thing had happened a year ago and the midfielder knew it would happen again in another year. 
Only she hoped she wouldn’t be needed in a years time, similar to how she had hoped that she wasn’t required this year. 
She had been somewhat surprised and just a little bit disappointed when she received Ingrid’s text, having hoped that Mapi finally would have spoken to her girlfriend about it, that Ingrid would have expected it and known exactly what she needed to do. It was abundantly clear, however, that it was not the case. 
Ingrid’s terrified and bewildered facial expression was one piece of evidence, but so was Mapi’s silence, her heavy breathing and her complete refusal to speak while the Norwegian was in the room. 
She was disappointed, really. She felt guilt overcome her as she watched Ingrid slip out of the room, a look of pure defeat written all over her face as she accepted that there was nothing she could do to help Mapi. 
Mapi who was an emotional wreck, who needed support and who just needed to let everything out for once. 
Mapi, who needed her girlfriend’s comfort but didn’t know how to ask for it, couldn’t bring herself to ask for it. 
Alexia knew that the Norwegian would have given it to her without a second thought. 
It was all she could think about as Ingrid walked back through the door, Isabel’s hand tight in hers as her eyes scanned the room and landed on the sleeping Mapi in Alexia’s lap. 
Isabel inspected her quietly, satisfied with her sleeping body on the sofa. She was with Alexia and Alexia made people happy. She was sure Mapi would be happy now, so she scampered out of the lounge and into the laundry where she knew Bagheera would be waiting. 
Ingrid was less convinced, sitting beside Alexia with concern written all over her face. 
“She’ll be alright.” Alexia whispered her words softly, an attempt to make the Norwegian feel better. She didn’t expect Ingrid’s eyes to fill up with tears, her head falling into her hands. 
“Why doesn’t she talk to me about any of this?”
Her voice sounded defeated, frustrated. Her watery eyes looked back up towards Alexia and the midfielder could easily see the anguish in her eyes. 
“She’s bad at talking about it, embarrassed by it. She doesn’t like to feel all these emotions so she just pushes them away. But they come back every now and again and she has no idea how to deal with it. I try telling her that it’s normal, she shouldn’t feel embarrassed but she doesn’t listen. It makes her feel weak, she said. You saw her earlier too, she just shuts down. I think it’s because she just doesn’t know what else she can do so she turns into a robot of sorts, on autopilot to get things done. And then someone will come and see straight through her and it’s like she breaks.”
Alexia’s eyes were watering, her hand coming to rest on Mapi’s head. 
“But she loves you so much, Ingrid. More than I’ve ever seen her love anyone before. I know she wants to talk to you about all this, she wishes she could just let it all out. We’ve discussed it before, what she could say, how she could say it. She’ll call me the next day and say she chickened out, she couldn’t bring herself to go through it all. It’s mentally exhausting, I think.  She used to be so confident in herself, she didn’t care about anything but her happiness and the happiness of the people around her. She was the person who would cheer everyone else up, make us smile and laugh. She’s still that person, that’s the one that we see everyday. But she never learnt how to grieve or how to let other people cheer her up and this is what happened because of it.”
Ingrid was quiet for a few moments, her eyes focussed on Mapi’s sleeping figure. She looked so peaceful, her golden brown hair falling over her face, completely covering her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. 
“Why didn’t you help her?”
She knew it wasn’t Alexia’s fault; she knew that the midfielder beside her would have done whatever she thought was right. But part of the Norwegian thought that if she had learned what to do with her emotions two years ago when Luis died, everything would be easier now. Everything would be easier for everyone. 
“She just wouldn’t let us. I regret it every day, Ingrid. ”
~~~~~~
It wasn’t long before Alexia left, leaving Ingrid with a sleeping Mapi and taking the almost two year old back to her house with her. 
They didn’t want Isabel to be able to understand what was going on, they didn’t want her to feel those sad emotions when she was entirely incapable of understanding why she suddenly felt so sad. 
So it was Ingrid’s face that Mapi woke up to, the familiar green piercing straight through her, a sad expression all over her face. 
“Ingrid.”
Her voice was hoarse, her words scratchy and her eyes swollen. It had been a difficult few hours and she felt entirely incapable of having the conversation that she knew Ingrid wanted to have. 
“I don’t know how… how do I even start?”
But it seemed she was wrong as Ingrid shook her head, her arms wrapping the Spaniard up in a tight hug as she sat up from her horizontal position. 
“No, you don’t need to. Not right now. You’re exhausted, physically and emotionally and I don’t want to talk now. I want you to be ok, I want to make you feel ok.”
Mapi didn’t know it, but the Norwegian’s words were exactly what she needed. Ingrid was exactly what she needed. 
Her emotional perception, the unique ability she had to be so aware of how everyone felt at any given time. It was one of her qualities that Mapi loved the most, one of the things that was so intriguing, so alluring about the defender. 
“What can I do to make you feel ok?”
Mapi smiled weakly, trying to bite back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. It wasn’t just sadness this time, but gratitude, love. Because Ingrid was perfect even when the centre back knew she had been the opposite of that. And despite all of Mapi’s own personal flaws, Ingrid still loved her. 
And if everything else fell apart, Mapi knew that her love would be more than enough. 
“You being here makes me feel ok.”
Ingrid smiled into the embrace, only releasing the hug when Mapi’s grip on her loosened. 
“Isabel is at Alexia’s and she will be there all night. She shouldn’t be in this environment when you are so upset, not when she’s so young. So it’s just you and me, whatever you want to do.”
Mapi nodded easily, somewhat relieved that her daughter was away from all this. 
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.”
The evening was a slow one, relaxed and quiet in the calm apartment. They weaved around each other in the kitchen as they cooked with a practised ease, dinner cooked and plated up seamlessly. 
Conversation as they ate was minimal, the Spaniard clearly distracted and the Norwegian happy to focus on her own food. 
“I… I need to talk to you, Ingrid. Not right now, but soon. Maybe tomorrow. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say in a way that makes sense. It’s… hard for me, hard to talk about… it.”
The Norwegian’s attention was captured at the sound of Mapi’s voice, instantly nodding with a comforting smile on her face. 
“I know it’s hard. I don’t want you to feel any pressure to tell me anything.”
But the Spaniard disagreed, shaking her head quickly. 
“It’s not pressure, I want you to know everything.”
Ingrid’s forehead creased, her eyebrows drawing together as she frowned. 
“But why? Why do you want to go through it all again with yet another person if you don’t have to?”
It was Mapi’s turn to frown, her head shaking as she let out a quiet exhale. 
“I haven’t ever gone through everything with anyone. Alexia knows a lot, sure. I know she’s told you what she knows. I want you to know everything. Because I love you more than anything and for you to love me like that you have to know everything, you have to see all my faults, everything that I’m ashamed of.”
Ingrid stopped the tears from forming before they had a chance to materialise in her eyes, but Mapi could tell she was stopping herself from crying by the way her eyes blinked away the invisible tears. 
“What’s wrong?”
Her voice was incredibly soft, her Spanish lilt calming, comforting.
“I don’t think there’s anything you could say that would change the way I love you. I couldn’t love you any more than I do and there’s nothing that will ever make me love you any less. I wish you would understand that sadness and grief isn’t a weakness or a fault, it’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s natural yet it takes a completely different path in every single person. You’re not different, Maria. You’re not weak. The opposite of weak, really. I love you for who you are, because you are funny, you’re kind, you’re caring. You look after people and you’re an incredible mother. I love you because you are strong, one of the strongest people I have ever met. The love I have for you is not… despite anything, there’s nothing that I would change because you’re perfect. So sure, tell me everything because I will listen but it will not change a single thing. Don’t tell me that I can’t love you before I know because I do, so much.”
“Thank you.” Mapi sniffled, her voice thready as she nodded at Ingrid, her eyes dropping back down to her plate in front of her. 
It was exactly what she needed to hear. 
~~~~~~
“Mami!” 
Despite Ingrid’s protests in the kitchen, Isabel bounded into their bedroom, bouncing up onto the bed right beside a sleeping Mapi. 
“Isabel! I said not to wake her up!” 
Ingrid frowned from her spot at the bedroom door, her forehead creasing further at Isabel’s defiant expression. The toddler turned back towards Mapi, shaking her shoulder rapidly. 
“Mami! Mami!” 
Ingrid rolled her eyes, releasing a loud sigh and shaking her head as the Spaniard rolled over, groaning as she opened her eyes. 
The past few days had been rough and Ingrid was sure Mapi hadn’t gotten more than three hours of sleep each day. The Norwegian was awoken constantly by the sound of her cries or her restless movements in the bed, but had stopped asking if she was ok after seeing the guilt on Mapi’s face at waking her up. 
It was an obvious question anyway, Mapi clearly was not ok.
She had been distant, often unfocused. The Norwegian had to take over the parenting ropes and she hadn’t left the Spaniard’s apartment, helping with cooking and cleaning and the other mundane housework that Mapi just didn’t have the energy to do. 
She would say a few words over meals, and quiet murmurs of gratitude throughout the day. Ingrid didn’t know how rapidly her notes app was filling up, full of dot points about how and what she would say to Ingrid. When she could bring up that conversation that she was so desperate yet so hesitant to have. 
“Morning Is.” The Spaniard rolled over, opening her arms up for the toddler as she fell into them, snuggling easily into her mother. 
“Mornin’ Mami!” 
Mapi smiled, looking over at Ingrid in the doorway and motioning for her to come and join them on the bed. Naturally, the Norwegian moved towards them, sitting up beside Mapi and resting her head on the centre back’s shoulder. 
“We were awake very early this morning, weren’t we Is?’
She rolled her eyes as the child nodded and Mapi bit back a laugh, squeezing Isabel softly. 
“You should have woken me.” Mapi smiled, planting a kiss on the side of Ingrid’s head, ignoring her scoff. 
“Ingrid said don’t wake you up, Mami!” Isabel interjected again, looking up at her mother. “But I missed you!” 
Mapi could only chuckle, planting a kiss on her child’s head. “I missed you too, my Is!”
It was a slow day, but one full of quiet laughter and happiness. The small family of three spent the late morning hours in bed, before getting up and heading down to the park and tiring the toddler out. She was exhausted by the time they got back, passing out on the sofa as Ingrid took off her shoes and Mapi scrubbed the mud out of her jacket. 
The girl had been put to bed by the time Mapi had returned from the laundry, Ingrid sat on the sofa with the remote in her hand. 
“What do you want to watch?”
She had heard Mapi walking towards the lounge room, apparently. The Spaniard didn’t enter immediately, instead steadying herself on the doorframe and taking a deep breath. 
The time had come, she realised. She couldn’t justify pushing this conversation away any longer, pretending that she wasn’t thinking about it when truthfully it was at the top of her mind at all times. 
She knew it wasn’t an easy conversation to have and she knew that it was going to be hard to bring it up. But that difficulty won’t ever go away, no matter how long she leaves it. If anything it will get harder over time because time gives her fears and anxieties an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to overcome her. 
And she was completely adamant that that would not happen. She would not be overcome by those terrors ever again. 
She realised she had paused in the doorway for too long when Ingrid turned around, a small frown settling on her face. 
“Are you ok?”
Mapi nodded, forcing a stressed smile onto her face and finally taking those steps inside, sitting herself on the sofa beside Ingrid and taking the remote from her hands. 
“Yes. No, but.. Yeah.” 
“Talk to me.”
And she did. She started at the beginning, all the way back when she was a small child and meeting Luis for the first time. She told Ingrid how they had been glued to each other’s sides forever, how they grew up and nothing ever changed. How grateful she was when Luis followed her to Barcelona, moving into his own apartment just a five minute walk away. 
The Spaniard reminisced on times where they would eat dinner on the floor of his unfinished apartment, takeaway boxes empty but the room still full of happiness and laughter. She showed Ingrid her tattoo, the little girl and boy on the playground that she had gotten to match with Luis. 
It was his first and only tattoo and he had only trusted Mapi to give it to him. She knew she had to get one the same and it was something they had treasured. A secret of sorts, a little thing that almost nobody knew about. 
The centre back explained how he had always been a paternal person, all the way back when they were those little kids on the playground. He would look out for everyone, act all big and strong to protect his friends even when he felt equally as terrified. He was the person that everyone went to as they got a bit older, his emotional nature and calm demeanour always popular among their peers. 
She told Ingrid that she always felt so lucky that even though he was so popular, she was still his best friend. She was always his number one and that only ever changed when Isabel came along. 
Isabel who was just as lovely as her boyfriend, another person that Mapi learned to love. 
Another person who proved time and time again that she was a mother. 
So she lamented on the heartbreak that the young couple experienced when they realised they couldn’t have a child, that parenthood seemed almost impossible. 
She explained her entire thought process to the Norwegian, how she debated with herself whether it was worth it to miss so much football during what could have been her peak years. Whether she would ever feel comfortable around a child that was half of her DNA, a child that she carried for nine months but technically didn’t belong to her. 
But Luis’ happiness was always the most important thing and when he rang her up for the 10th night in a row in tears, her decision was made for her. 
She told Ingrid how long it took to convince the couple to let her carry their child, having to go through the same arguments that she had with herself only weeks earlier, having to come up with rebuttals to their incredibly valid points. 
But it had only taken an emotional monologue from the Spaniard to convince them, all three of them sat in tears as they finally agreed to it. 
She talked her through the IVF process, every high and every low that she experienced. How easy the pregnancy was at the beginning, the only symptom her small bump and minor cravings. 
But she had Luis and she had Isabel at that point, both of them so incredibly grateful that they practically waited on the centre back’s hand and foot. It annoyed her, really, so she had kicked them out of her apartment, told them to only come over if she called them. 
For the most part, they respected that, only visiting once a week unless Mapi called them for the company. 
She admitted how much she regretted that deal, how she wished that she made them sit with her all day every day. 
Maybe then they wouldn’t have been in the car that day, maybe they would have been safe and sound in Mapi’s apartment. 
She couldn’t have known that their trip to Madrid would be fatal, there was no way of being able to foresee that and to stop them from going. 
Tears started to slip down her cheeks as she recalled what they told her over the phone, how both Isabel and Luis had been killed on impact. A drunk driver, it was, a drunk driver who was miraculously left unscathed. 
She talked Ingrid through her thoughts that followed the phone call, after she had sobbed and screamed. Once the tears had finally ceased and an unsettling silence fell upon her apartment. 
She felt lost, she felt alone. She wanted to call Luis because he was the person that made her feel better in these times, he was her company when it felt like her entire world was falling apart. 
But of course she couldn’t call Luis. She should have called someone else, her mother, her brother. Alexia, even. But that would be replacing her best friend, something she couldn’t bring herself to do. Not so soon after he had died. Not when the wound was so fresh, not before she even got the chance to process it. 
She admitted to her girlfriend that she still hadn’t really processed it, that it was still a work in progress. His death was one she would never understand, she didn’t think she ever would fully process the idea that he was gone. 
Ingrid let tears spill from her eyes as Mapi remembered how lonely she was for the next few weeks, how she realised that now she had this child that she was just supposed to be able to raise. How she felt entirely unprepared, unfit to be a mother, unequipped to be able to raise a child to a standard that Luis would be happy with. 
How she doubted herself even before Isabel was born.
When she gave birth it got so much harder, everything seemed so impossible and she couldn’t think about anything else other than that little life in her arms. 
She had fallen in love with the baby immediately, guilt overcoming her at her selfish gratitude that Isabel was a living reminder of Luis, she was someone that Mapi would always have. A living being that literally carried her father around with her. 
She told Ingrid how she saw his eyes as soon as they opened, the tape over her shattered heart doing little to protect it when it was forcefully thrown back on the ground at the reminder of everything she had lost. 
But as she spent more and more time with Isabel, as she watched the little girl grow up she could feel her heart building itself back together, little pieces at a time supergluing themselves together, creating an indestructible structure. 
Isabel had been the reason her heart was being fixed, the reason that she felt like she could finally breathe again, finally reunited with the organ that pumped the blood around her body, the organ that made her feel alive. 
She smiled through the tears as she recalled how alive she felt when Isabel took her first steps, when her first words tumbled right out of her mouth. As the child laughed, as she played with the cat. As she grew up into a child, something for Mapi to love, to be so incredibly proud of. 
Because Luis was gone and that was something that Mapi would never be ok with. 
But he left her the greatest gift of all time, like he knew that his best friend wouldn’t be ok without him. 
And similar to everything else he had done for Mapi through their lives, this gift, his daughter, had made sure that the blood never stopped pumping, that every single fragment of her shattered heart was still there, ready and waiting for its turn to be glued back into place. 
Isabel had done a good job of orchestrating the reconstruction, even if she had no idea what she was doing. 
“But then you came along, Ingrid, and you fixed my heart too.”
~~~~~~
alright this was very long
i've proofread a couple times and kinda hate this but it's as good as it will get :)
please let me know what you think! send me anything else you would like to see as well.
and i apologise for this taking so long, i have been very busy with uni (as usual) but on top of that i had surgery on my knee almost a week ago so am very tired and in a fair amount of pain at the minute
have a good day
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azmstea · 2 days
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[COSMO - RARE TWISTED]
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Okey, I KNOW some people already made this idea (found out while I was working on this), but I really wanted to make my version of it so let's go!!
Well, I decided to rework a bit Twisted Cosmo because I personally never understood why he is a common one to begin with. And also explain how his ability would work!
This will be a PRETTY long blog with a lot of yapping, so if you're actually interested in the "AU", keep reading!!
ASKS ABOUT HIM ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!
Alright, let's start by explaining a bit about him.
"He believes he's helping others, but his healing method doesn't work like before. This twisted, separated from his best friend, walks around looking for people to heal with hearts that block any healing items and causing random effects for a few seconds. Be sure to never be spotted without full health!" - Research description.
During a blackout, Cosmo got lost and was forced to separate from his best friend Sprout and had only one heart left by the end of the process. When arriving at the elevator, he noticed Sprout having a hard time with a twisted, and he also had one heart. Knowing that his stamina was low at the moment, Cosmo does something he never did before: He used all his strength to remove his last heart and give it to Sprout, saving him from a fatal attack. Sprout made it to the elevator, but Cosmo couldn't say the same. (I want my Fruitcake angst y'all, or else I'll cook it)
We aren't sure how exactly toons became Twisteds, but for the sake of this "AU", Dandy decided to use Cosmo as a way to test something new: An ichor heart in a non main character toon. This heart made Cosmo stop from dying, but it causes him A LOT of pain, since his chest is opened and the ichor causes physical pain. He still has some conscience inside of him, but the ichor stops him from acting like how he used to and makes it more difficult to talk. His body and head are full of bites, like the twisted that was haunting Sprout tried to eat him before. His arm is way bigger and heavier than before, but he doesn't mind much because he is pretty strong around his arms, but it surely brings some extra pain for his right side.
Deep down, he just wants to help other toons, but he can't realize how he isn't capable of doing it in a positive way anymore thanks to the ichor.
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Yes, I know, only main characters have sounds to show that they're nearby, but I want to add that if Cosmo is extremely close of you (in the same room or in the next room), you're capable of hearing his ichor heart beats, which are fast and loud. Like this, players can escape from him in case they are in a dangerous situation.
ABILITY:
(I saw a video called "swap au" on YouTube and took a bit of inspiration from it, but I changed it to make it a little more interesting!)
Twisted Cosmo's ability is inspired in his Toon's active: Heal others, but with a reverse effect.
If you have all your hearts, Cosmo won't follow you or harm you, he will keep walking because he doesn't want to hurt anyone (something like Glisten) and because he knows you won't need any heals. At first, it's like he won't even do anything at all.
However, if he sees you with 2 hearts or only 1 heart, he will grab his ichor heart from his chest and start chasing you, with the intention of throwing a heart at you and "help". His attention spam is a little longer (3.5 s) and his speed increases from his canon twisted form, but his eye vision isn't the best since he doesn't have one of his eyes, so he can't see you from extreme distances like Shrimpo.
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If he catches you, your empty heart slots will be filled with a weird "ichor heart", similar to main characters. As his description says, the heart will block any kind of healing, so things like Teagan's active, medkits and bandaids won't work at all. Along with that, you'll get a random effect for 10 seconds from the I category (like "Confused I", "Slow I", "Tired I"). After the attack, Cosmo will no longer follow you because he thinks he finished his job there. (Distractors you're all screwed🔥)
And plus, you can avoid his attack if you heal yourself BEFORE he can heal you.
Another ability of his is being able to know when and where a player got hurt. Let's say you have 3 hearts, but you got a hit from Shelly in "x" spot. In this scenario, Cosmo will immediately go to "x" spot no matter how far he is from the place. If you manage to leave where you were before he arrives, good! If not, Cosmo will chase you to give you an ichor heart. Sounds "inoffensive" at first, but depending of the situation, it can make your life pure hell.
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If you have 1 regular heart and 2 ichor hearts, Cosmo will no longer care about you during that floor because it's impossible to get another hit without dying, leaving you in a vulnerable situation for any complicated twisteds like Pebble or Goob. That's why I like to call him the very first twisted that won't kill you directly! I wanted to play with the fact that he's a supporter as a toon, so why not make a "supporter" twisted whose job is make your gameplay harder?? Maybe a new type of twisted?
"Will Cosmo also follow you if all machines are done like Glisten?" I'm still unsure of it, but to keep his "support" role, I suppose he would just accept his fate of being alone, because at least he can "help" others. (I WANT FRUITCAKE ANGST!!!)
How do you remove the ichor hearts? Again, still thinking about it, but just like Shelly's "Confused" ability, the effect should be gone once you reach the elevator. I thought about leaving the effect for 2 floors, but I dunno if this would be too OP or anything, so you can decide on this!
Now congratulations! You know who is twisted Cosmo and how to survive to one of the most annoying Twisteds ever!! /jk
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I suppose that's all for now about him! He's still in development, but this is the main idea of him and his abilities!
And don't worry, I will be sure to cook some good old angst with this concept. Hope everyone enjoys it!!
ASKS ABOUT HIM ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!
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bronx-bomber87 · 2 days
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Hello lovely fandom and happy Wednesday. We are cruising along with 6x09. Can't believe we're already on the second to last ep. Not a ton of Chenford or Tim in this one but what we do get is GOOOD. It's an all around good episode though. Let us begin.
6x09 The Squeeze
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Recap of 6x06-6x08 got me all in my feels before this one even starts. Poor Tim killing me right off that bat. Always be floored by Eric and his ability to convey so much with a look. How it just makes me wanna hug his hurt away. No wonder Lucy always pulls him in for hugs. How could she not? I’m sure he hasn’t even begun to process how he feels. It’s a lot what just happened to him. It all unfolded in the blink of an eye.
Someone who he used to work closely with killing himself in front of him. Doing so because he’s a dirty cop. Not only that but taking all his secrets with him. Only thing Tim got out of it was Dr. London being dirty too. Grey shows up to the scene and startles Tim out of his thoughts. He debriefs Wade letting him know Mad Dog confessed to being dirty. That he believes Blair to be apart of it as well. Now we all know he didn’t mention her by name.
BUT it was pretty damn implied. With the awkward interactions in the hospital and the rooftop scene. Wade asks if he used her name specifically? Tim tells him no….But it was clear she was who M.D. was speaking of. Grey reminding him to be careful of accusing without any evidence. As amazing as his cop gut is that’s not evidence unfortunately. Loving the hat on Wade btw. Very fitting.
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It’s not too long before the accusatory Detective Pearson shows up. Not loving him from the jump. Couldn't stand him for couple reasons. One because douche bag just comes off him in waves. Two the way he comes at Tim makes me wanna knock him on his ass. This guy coming in way too hot for my liking. Far too eager to pin this on Tim.
Makes my protective Sicilian side emerge and she’s not happy. I do love Grey being quick to Tim’s defense. No one better to have his back in this moment. Lucy would be great of course. But Wade is the superior in this moment so his 'back off ' holds more water. Gotta love this man. Always protects his people.
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Wade can tell Pearson wants to have a slam dunk case against Tim. It’ll further his career to get such a high-ranking officer tangled in a dirty mess. It's why Grey tells him as such. Ugh. What a schmuck. Kudos to the actor though. I instantly dislike him so well done sir LOL The way Tim watches the body get wheeled away breaks my heart. Damnit Eric you’re too good at your job. Expressing so much in that look I just want to hug him. But that’s Lucy’s job later…
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We join Celina officially moving in. This will be an interesting dynamic for s7. Especially after they get back together. I’ll be intrigued how that is all handled... But I’m getting way too ahead of myself. It's hard not to when we don’t know anything. It’s easy to daydream and speculate about the unknown. Anyways John is there and sadly not as a friend but to check in on Celina. She says he’s just making sure she’s not late for her shift.
Nolan commenting would reflect poorly on him and his performance review is coming up. Not selfish at all John….His review should be ‘Needs work.’ But we all know how I feel about him as a teacher. He asks Lucy how she is? I don’t think he expects the epic rant he receives. I mean she has healed some but not nearly enough. Her words sounding like she’s trying to convince herself. Makes me sad. Doing her best to flip all this upheaval into a good thing.
Our girl feels really lost in her life right now. All the turmoil that I don’t know she’s really dealt with. I think part of her having Celina move in is she doesn’t have to deal with it as much. To not have to be alone and sit in her feelings. Because I am the the same way. If left alone too long with my thoughts they eat at me. This scene just being more proof she hasn’t dealt with much of it at all IMO. I know the prevailing theory of the season for Lucy was she was alone. Isolated. I mentioned this in my mini too.
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I think a lot of the isolating is self inflicted. Her and Tim are very alike in how they handle emotional distress. At an arms length and solo. Other than Jackson, Tim is the only one she’s really allowed close to her. Tamara yes but that's always been more maternal and not like what she has with Tim. And even him she doesn’t tell everything to and vice versa. It’s very in character for her to do this. I know people thinks because she’s bubbly, optimistic and outgoing this isn’t the case. But it is. Just like how people who are depressed don’t come off that way. When there a signs of it despite their ‘happy or sunny’ demeanor.
She was isolating herself before the breakup even occurred. Rewatching this season she was doing so from the very jump of s6. Their fight in 6x01 being proof of that isolation. She felt herself overloading and shoved him away with her accusation. That was just the start. 6x04 and her rash decisions with Jeff Budny is a huge one as well. She didn’t include the one person she should’ve in that ep. It's how we ended up in that hospital room with her. I’ve said this many times before. But her and Tim are quite alike in how they handle their emotions.
Tim’s is showcased more especially this season. It's easier to detect. If you're really looking you can see her's. Lucy’s were screaming through out this entire season as well. She is a control freak just like Tim in the way she shuts people out. Even her person couldn’t get in and vice versa. They have the same fatal flaw. It’s why their lack of communication became their downfall. Our girl has as much growing to do as Tim does. I’m hoping all this is a setup for s7 for her. To me her explosion here is an example of her not dealing fully with what happened still. Shall see how s7 is handled for her. I'm hopeful.
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Their convo is interrupted by Angela calling Lucy. First off I love her looking out for Lucy. Just like she does with Tim. There was a great parallel set for this and 2x12. Angela providing comfort to them both when the other is in distress. Our on-screen cheerleader for them both and I love it sfm. Even knowing what a weird place they’re in, she knew Lucy would wanna know from her than anyone else. We love you Angela Lopez. You’re a real one.
She also knows Lucy well to tell her right off the bat he’s ok. You know her heart stopped when she began that sentence. We watch Lucy instantly go into wifey mode. Both in her body language and tone of voice as Angela explains. How she turns her back to the others when it’s about her person. Needing a moment to herself as she absorbs this information.
Melissa crushing it in this scene with everything she does. From closing her eyes taking in the severity of this situation. To the concerned wifey tone she switched to quickly. We all know she has a million and one thoughts rushing through her brain right now. Mainly was he ok? Does he need her? The worry for him settling into her soul and growing rapidly by time the call ends. Once Angela hangs up she finally turns around and updates them. Concern flooding her tone.
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The wifey vibes continue when John gets a call shortly after. Tim has called him to be his union rep. (Only reason he would ever call Nolan in a personal matter...) We watch as anxiety all but pours out of Lucy. Worried wifey mode has activated and it’s not going away. Despite everything they’ve been through. Everything he’s done. Her number one instinct is worry and concern for him. It's deeply rooted. It's who she is.
She loves him so much still. That is written all over this scene and her reaction. That instinct to be there for him coursing through her like a powerful current. I love her stopping Nolan before he goes. The worry seeping out of her tone. Asking how he sounded? Nolan just replying ‘Tight.’ Which is apropos for Tim in situations such as this tbh. The reason she asked this was that she could gather everything she needed to know about his state of mind from that information alone.
When she hears Nolan’s reply her worry increases tenfold. Melissa is killing me in the best way in this scene. Props to her and Eric once again for this season. I can't praise them enough honestly. It hurt so much but hot damn if they weren’t giving their A game and more every single episode. Holy hell. Not that they don’t always. Just with such limited episodes they did really good with the material. Writing was superb for them. They rose to the occasion and then some.
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Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan it’s making me anxious. He is wound so damn tight right now. Not that I blame him but we can feel the anxiety just seeping out of him. The tapping of his feet, hands, and whole body is tense before Nolan arrives. He pops right up the minute John enters the room. He doesn’t look at all prepared for what Tim is about to thrown down at him.
Nolan tries to ask him questions but Tim doesn’t have time for it. Immediately let's him know what’s going on. That they’re going to want to hang this on someone. Now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. All that is left is Tim. He’s STRESSED they’re going to hang this around his neck. That he needs Nolan to take over the investigation. I said this in my mini and I'll say it now.
My first thought was I don’t trust Nolan with this….That I wouldn’t have chosen him to spearhead this whole thing. But Tim doesn’t have a ton of options atm. So he’s gotta go with what he’s got. And that happens to be John Nolan right now. He asks Tim who to investigate? Tim tells him to look into Blair London the rookie police department shrink.
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That he’s been seeing her and so has Aaron. That he thinks she had leverage on M.D. and that’s why he jumped. I wanna pause here and say how proud I am of Tim in this moment. Look at him reaching out for help this time. Not trying to quarterback this alone. Handling this completely differently than how he handled Ray. Not isolating himself and trying to figure this out solo. He’s going through the proper channels this time. Not wanting to do a OP and segregate himself from everyone.
To say it sucks Dr. London is dirty is an understatement. Because my greatest fear would be what she does in this episode. BUT I am forever grateful to her in the same vein. Because despite her being dirty she truly helped Tim in short time he had her. Look at the growth in this moment right now. I’ve said this many times already but I truly hope we continue his therapy journey. The results are astounding and I need more of this growth. It’s just like Chenford ship crack to me. Tim growth is my other drug of choice haha Give it to me writers LOL
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We see Pearson is under Dr. London thumb. (Monica’s really) It leads up to this next scene that makes my blood boil. I hated watching this scene the first time and I didn’t love it any better second time around. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch unfold. How Pearson comes after Tim like a dog with a bone. The way he uses Dr. London to solidly his reasoning makes me all kinds of angry. I'm seeing red.
I HATE them using his sessions and twisting them for their own gain. It was like I said earlier this was my biggest fear of her being dirty. This right here. Gotta commend Danielle Campbell though. She does a really good job in this scene. Even though this was her idea you can see the conflict raging in her. Because she is the one who convinced Tim to go to therapy. For pure reasons actually. To help him out. Which she did. We know that’s why she’s under Monica thumb.
She used her need to help people against her. That she is only doing this because she is being coerced. Doesn’t excuse a damn thing, but explains her hesitation and almost tortured look in this scene. Especially when Pearson comes at Grey. Accusing him of favoritism. Saying he cares more about that than this city. You can see the restraint on Wade's face not to knock this punk out. How very dare you come at him and Tim like this. Makes me wanna rage so much.
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This scene right here is why love Angela Lopez so much. That fiery passion she has for those she loves. How she is unwaveringly loyal to those she holds dear. Tim being that person in this moment. Not gonna lie that’s why I love this moment so much. Calling her husband. Love her of her life to chew him out to defend her brother. Her first instinct just like Lucy is to protect him.
To make sure if he’s charging Tim that she better know first. Hot damn Angela. Tell us how you really feel. haha This man is so lucky to have this fire ball in his corner phew lord. Telling Wes she stands by Tim a thousand percent. That he’s family. Ugh my heart. Gonna make me cry. I love their friendship so much. Give me more of them in s7. Their dynamic is fantastic and I need far more of it in my life.
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We arrive at the best part of the episode. After nearly fifteen minutes filled with tension…We need this hug as much as these two do. My god. I adore her being so attuned to him. Lucy sees him and knows she needs to go to him. She can see how tense he looks. The clench in his jaw very evident. Her look damn near mirroring the worried look she had in 5x19. That same longing look to reach out to him surging through her. Worried Lucy is a fav of mine and we got to have that a lot in this episode.
This time she doesn't stop herself and we all love her for it. She worries about him, regardless of the state of their relationship. It’s what drives her to go after him before his elevator closes. That magnetic pull she can’t explain nor describe. All Lucy knows is she needs to be near him and comfort him. That even from afar she can tell he needs her. As I said earlier Lucy is so attuned to Tim and what he needs. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.
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To say Tim is shocked when she keeps the elevator from closing is an understatement. Not only that but stopping it so they aren’t interrupted. Wanting to ensure they have a moment alone. Even when she says to be clear she’s still mad. That this doesn’t change anything. He’s still clueless as to what is going on here. You can see it all over his face above. He has zero idea why she is in here right now.
Because in his mind there is no way she’s thinking about him. Let alone wanting to be there for him in this moment. Which breaks my heart. The last thing he ever expected was for her to care for him. Or about him in any way shape or form. Also the 4x09 vibes coming off this hug had me losing my friggin mind. This hug is everything. It showcases their bond, the intimacy that still exists between them, the vulnerability has me reeling and how they are each other’s safe place still. *happy sigh*
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The way she pulls him in reminiscent of the 4x09 hug. Tim standing there not expecting this moment of comfort and getting it. It’s the way she draws him into to hide in her arms. Just like she did in ‘Breakdown.’ I’m fine….Only difference in this hug from that one is the way he just melts into her arms. The face smoosh into her shoulder. Once again mirroring that infamous hug. We watch all that anxiety and stress just drain out of him. The tension he was carrying into the elevator leaving his body once he's in his happy place. Closing his eyes and surrendering to the comfort she brings him.
He immediately wraps his entire body around her. Melding into her. Easily falling into this hug and her arms. Like two puzzle pieces that are meant to be together. Fitting back together so effortlessly after time apart. Encasing her back in his hands and snuggling in for good measure. Clinging to her like she is his emotional life raft. Because. Well she is. Holding her as close as he physically can. Cherishing this moment. Because I’m sure he never thought he would experience this again. Holding her in his arms like this. Feel her comfort and love.
These two make me insane in the best way. Also let me once again point out Tim's growth. He didn’t even try to fight her like he’s done in the past. He sees this for the gift that it is and absorbs this moment. Savoring it really. The peace you can see on his face floors me. Eric at it again. You can tell this is first time in long time he’s felt whole. This hug is beautiful on some many levels. You can feel the raw emotion coming out of them both.
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The concern that’s been building up in Lucy since this morning coming out in waves. She is tucked in TIGHT to him. Clinging to him as much as he is clinging to her. I'm not ok. You can hear the immense worry in her voice as she asks him if he’s ok? Despite everything she felt the draw to be there for him. The way she looks like she can finally breathe as she asks him that question is EVERYTHING.
We get some good hands hands hands in this hug. I can’t stop staring at her thumbs in that gif either. The soothing way she is running her thumbs up and down on his back and arm. Methodical in her soothing of him. Gah I cannot you guys. Her remarkable empathy shines through in this moment. This was a balm my soul needed so much. That all of us needed. We all know how much our boy longed for this.
Can't get over her face pressed so tightly into his neck. Doing this, as she asks him what she’s been dying to since she received that phone call. Like she couldn’t breathe until she knew the answer to this question. Look at the concern on her face when she does. I’m reeling and sobbing. Lucy looks on the verge of tears herself. Their hearts are just starting to mend in this glorious hug. You can feel it. Ours too.
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No one does hugs like our ship does. They’re always top tier goodness. Holy hell. They’re just breathing each other in. Calming one another down. The anxiety that was raging in both of them cooling down to a simmer in this embrace. He has melted into her like butter at this point. Reveling in the comfort and empathy she's providing him. The way he says ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 and their phone call in the alley. How he wasn’t ok till he heard her voice.
Song remains the same in this moment. He wasn’t ok until now. Until she had her arms wrapped around him for this hug. Didn’t know he was holding his breath till she released it for him. It’s how he sways with her and sinks even further into her arms. Smooshing his face even farther into her shoulder. It’s so sincere his reply back that I am just a puddle of emotion. He’s so vulnerable in this moment with her.
Letting her know he wasn't ok until she was there. Imma scream at how much I love this growth in him. If there was any more doubt in Lucy’s mind of his feelings for her, this hug and his reaction to it should clear that right up. That is a man who is still so in love with her. Letting her know he wasn’t alright until she came and found him. I’m not crying you are…. Find you a person who knows what you need when you need it. Even when you’re not in the best place. That’s Lucy Chen for this man. Reigniting him falling in love with her all over again in this moment.
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Lucy picking up on this growth reflects in her reaction back. Gah it’s the way she tightens her arms around him after she hears this. Closes her eyes and tries to bring him even closer. Trying to wrap him up in her arms even tighter. Absorb any stress he is carrying right now. The sheer relief written all her face. The way she shuts her eyes knowing he’s ok because she is there. *sobs*
Just melting into this man as she holds him as close as she can. Clinging to him as much as he is to her. I’m not ok in the best way. I remember thinking this hug would feed my soul into the hiatus. Just gonna scream into a pillow how much I love this moment. Their chemistry is insane and with a hug? Even more so my god. We are blessed to have a ship where our hugs are this amazing.
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I love this faraway shot of their hug. They are in-sync as they part. How do they do that? We can see how deeply entangled they are. Nary an inch between them. You can see how they were just clinging onto each other for dear life. Look at Tim’s arms/hands. How gentle and intimate his are placed.
Having her as close as he can. It’s the hand gently wrapped around her lower back that has me losing it. It’s just so intimate I can’t get over it. Lucy is retuning the favor in kind. She too is just as intertwined as he is in this moment. Arms clinging to him and her face buried in his neck. Their chemistry on massive display here.
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You’d think the hug alone would be enough to make me squee to death. Lucy follows it up with fixing his collar. I’m dead. The most wifey move of all moves. Reminded me of the lint picking from 5x12. Such an intimate coupley thing to do. I’m losing my damn mind over it. Wife energy coming off her in waves. Just seemed so automatic and natural when they part.
Also she touches her arm before reopening the door. She can’t keep her hands off him and I’m here for it. Tim looks like he’s going to cry in that elevator. I also love Tim putting his hands in his pockets right after. Because if he doesn’t he’ll never let her go. They’ll never get off this elevator. He could've stayed in that hug all day.
Basked in the comfort she had to give him. So he puts his hands immediately in his pockets after they part. Ugh my heart. They miss each other so much and this hug is screaming that. Also screaming how they didn’t miss a beat. How natural and wonderful it was. *happy sigh* This hug giving me true hope for the first time.
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They re-open elevator to find Angela and Harper waiting for them. They look like they’ve been caught. Like they didn’t just have this deeply emotional embrace. The looks they share before Lucy leaves are LOADED. The expression on Angela’s face... She knows they interrupted something. I adore her saying she can get him extradited if he needs it. Love this woman so much. We know just like Lucy she is willing to do anything for this man.
Makes my heart so happy. All these women in his life want is to support and protect him. You can tell Angela wants to be tagged in so badly. Tim telling her won’t be necessary. He didn’t do anything wrong. That she had his back last time. He has different forces at play this time. Adore her saying 'Different isn’t me.’ Not it’s not ha Sadly last of Tim for this ep. *pouts*
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Another telling scene for Lucy. Really really need s7 to clear these things up for her. Because despite being wonderfully empathetic human to Tim. She is still lost in life and not sure who she is. I NEED UC and some other things clarified for her next season. I really do. Just because she’s amazing at UC (and she is) doesn’t mean it’s her path. I do love this scene because it’s just Lucy being Lucy.
Having EIGHT covers ready to go. Our little nerd in action here. I adore it so much. It’s the most Lucy Chen thing she could do. Telling them it takes twelve off duty hours to grow. I love her so much. It’s not a mystery why Tim is so damn gone for her. Their faces as she explains cracks me up. Tim wouldn’t be shocked in the least. Hell I’m sure he was there while she was growing some of them.
The detective line is just another stab at our hearts though. Hoping for clarification and goodness for her career in s7. Manifesting it. As much as I need their reconciliation.(and I need it bad) I need her path resolved just as much tbh. For her to find her purpose and grow. Because once her and Tim do this. That reconciliation is gonna be even sweeter because of it.
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I will say I was impressed with Nolan. Enjoy this it won’t last ha He handled investigating Blair really well. Rattling the cages of the potential dirty cops she was seeing just by showing up to her office. I forgot seasons 1-2 Nolan was a good cop. He just got really annoying after s3. LOL Also roping Smitty in was hilarious. He was already there for the food so might as well use him.
It’s the first time in what feels like a long time I enjoyed John. He enlists Nell too to help him with data from dispatch. Maybe it’s Bailey that makes him extra irritating to me. Lmao Sorry Jenna....lol Anyways quite the miracle Nolan pulled off in this ep getting me to like him. Not only that but commend him on the job he’s doing. Helping out Tim in a major way and I can’t deny that.
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Nolan’s plan works out like gang busters. He went to her office to rattle a dirty cop into revealing himself. Pearson does it perfectly. Losing his mind about finding out they were in Mad Dog's apt. Like I said earlier I commend John on his work in this. Had Tim’s back and then some with his investigation. If they wrote him like this more wouldn’t dog on him so much lol
The other part that is so great is Grey. He is a papa bear ready to devour anyone messing with his work kids. This part was so cathartic to watch after earlier. Watching him dismantle Pearson like the schmuck he is. Was sick of him stomping around the station. Acting like he can just be top dog when he's really on a leash.
Rubbed me the wrong way being disrespectful to Tim and threatening Wade. Watching him attack Nolan/Celina is Grey's final straw. Puts that turd in his place. We watch him visibly shrink as Grey tears him a new asshole LOL All but telling him to stay in his own lane. Get em’ Wade! Nolan putting together the connection of Pearson and Blair due to this. Was fun to watch them piece this together.
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Scenes like this give me agita like no other. My heart was beating in my chest for her. Lucy did a really good job despite the toy. Unfortunately it’s one of those loud musical ones. That not only gives away her position. But possibly her cover in the process. He find it’s on the floor. Looking menacing af. This man gives me the creeps on so many levels. I hated this mission for her on so many levels.
Unfortunately they’ll need her going back into the house. Now that Monica is in play it’s crucial she is there. Especially with Batista investigating who tried to kill her. Lucy is worried they’re going to blow her cover faster with her involved…But it’s a risk they have to take. If Tim knew about this he would be feral. Oh Feral Tim how I miss you. I need more 2x11 feral Tim in my life. That's a wishlist for s7 I suppose.
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The ep ends with Nolan making a deal I’m not sure he can make lol But he was good in this episode so I’ll give him a pass. You can see how panicked she is. I am impressed John got her on this bench I will say. Getting her to almost spill her guts to him. Saying she didn’t think anyone would get hurt. That's what they all say....
I will say I missed Tim a lot in this ep after he was gone. That's my man. But it was a good episode. Reminded me of what a good ensemble cast we have as a whole. That's all she wrote for this one.
As always thank you to everyone for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging these means more than you’ll ever know. Shall see you all in the finale with 6x10 :)
~~~
Side notes-non Chenford
We get more insight in how Dr. London is being leveraged. Of course it’s a Monica connection because she is the absolute worst….
It’s great to see Pearson get nailed to the wall at the end of the ep. Prick.
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angy-grrr · 2 days
Note
The good old conflict continues over Twitter. According to dudebros, apparently, we are the problem for Hori not making IzuOcha canon. But at the same time, IzuOcha is already canon in an 'implied' sense in the narrative, and that we are delusional for ''denying their canon romance''.
Some people are even trying to argue that Bakugo and Izuku don't have that much of a special bond or relationship. I mean... really? So we just gonna ignore the literal core part of the story, then?
They constantly like to bring the moments like the recent roof scene and how 'Ochako saved Deku when Deku lost control of the black whip'. Let's just ignore that Izuku lost control because someone insulted Bakugo and that Ochako couldn't stop Izuku, she had to get him be 'brainwashed'.
If the roof scene was The Moment, then they would have gone canon right and there, yet they didn't. Oh.... But, yeah, sorry. It's actually our fault that Hori didn't make the straight ship canon in his shounen manga.
When will they stop acting like the straights are oppressed?
BNHA 430 SPOILERS
it’s quite common for manga shonen series to canonize their het ships by showing something romantic without letting us know how they confessed, at least in the original work; they are often already married in a time skip, or they are shown together in the future while at least one of them (usually the woman) blushing, and this is bc of Japanese typical narration - its not driven by the need of a closed conclusion, usually it’s even better the more often it gets.
I recommend checking on kishotenketsu for more on this!
but anyways, the thing with ochako and Izuku is they don’t have any implied romantic moment which lets the intended audience to understand they are in a relationship -the only scene they have together alone in the time skip is with a small panel, which could be valid, but the snow doesn’t imply it’s Christmas (a romantic holiday) as they are wearing their uniforms and probably are still on campus and neither is even blushing or shown being typical teenagers in love, even tho is clear Izuku is still quite like “a boy at heart”, wanting to be called cool by his teacher at 25 (I don’t believe in the perspective many have of him getting all confident about romance and having a flirty attitude towards Ochako or anyone; there’s nothing implying he became that way). Even Ochako doesn’t have her usual blush!
Bc Mr. Compress is under it reading Spinner’s book, along with the melancholy of the winter with the harsher conditions but beautiful landscapes, it creates a bittersweet image in Japanese culture, as far as I know in my research. It’s not “the villains died but hey, the heteros are dating!”, but more about “Tenko and Himiko died, and there’s this memory about them that will always live. Wonder and snow is a time for reflection, with the possibility of a bright future, so Ochako and Izuku, while failing, still have hope to save complete strangers and inspire others to do the same”.
I think is more about them and the villains, everyone becoming heroes on their own by helping others no matter their “oficial status”. the funniest part? It could be more romantic and imply they are together quite easy if only Horikoshi decided to actually make them a duo and be basically destined to be together helping others if he didn’t choose Katsuki to fulfill that role. He could have just highlighted her with the suit thing, extend her hand, smile at him telling him to do his best, etc. But nah, let’s just have Katsuki tell him to come with him as a hero and imply they hold hands or extend their hands to the other even if they aren’t in need of saving.
Yeah, that’s bc he’s scared of shippers. Sure sure, whatever helps them sleep at night yk?
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jogetsobsessed · 1 day
Text
Dominos (Part 2 of The Prophecy) - Paul Lahote x reader
Could technically be read as a stand-alone!
I'm so sorry for the long wait for this, I simply could not figure out what I wanted to do. Also, the two OC characters are simply random and are just there as space fillers (but I did choose the name Evan from 911 #wewillgetbuddie). P.S. This has a lot of dialogue and I don't know how to properly write dialogue so oopsie.
My present to all of you for hitting 200 followers!!
Always enjoy, I hope this lived up to all your expectations!
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It hurt for a long time.
It felt like you were drowning and that you were never going to be able to surface. Life was moving in slow motion, as you grappled with the sudden change in your life. 
You lost everything. 
Everything important to you was gone. Your friends, your support system, the man who you loved. People tried to reach out at first. Emily and Kim called you every day for weeks, but after a while, the calls stopped coming. Embry and Quil both texted you, checking to see how you were doing and if they could help anyway, but like the calls you ignored the texts. 
You felt pathetic. 
They all felt bad for you and you know it. They knew how in love you were with Paul and they were all witnesses to the tragic ending. And you hated it. 
Hated how people would look at you. You felt that you couldn't go anywhere without someone looking at you with sympathy in their eyes. And you could only take that for so long. 
So after months of hiding in your bedroom and wallowing in your despair, you decided to make a change. You were going to do something for yourself. Something that was going to be hard, one of the hardest decisions you had ever had to make. 
You found an apartment 250 miles away. Growing up you had made the almost five-hour car ride to Portland, Oregon a couple times a year, so you knew that you liked the city well enough. It was a massive change, going from small-town living to city life. But it's what you need. Being somewhere where no one knew you, where no one knew about the unnatural life that the people of the tribe lived. It was your chance to live a normal life. 
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Normal life suited you well. 
The move had been hard at first, you left behind your parents and the few friends outside of the pack that had still been in contact with. It took a while for you to start feeling like yourself again. But that's because you didn't know who you were without Paul. Moving to Portland was a chance for you to find who you were. 
Six months after you moved you experienced your very own meet cute. 
It happened at work, you had blindly reached out to hit the button for the elevator when your hand met someone else's. Quickly your phone was away from your face and you looked up and swore you almost swooned.  
His name was Evan. 
The company he worked for had just opened up a Portland office and was renting space on the third floor. You told him you worked on the seventeenth floor when he had asked and watched the number seventeen light up. Immediately he started a conversation. It was small talk, you told him that you also had not been in Portland long and chose the simple way out by saying that a long-term relationship ended so you wanted a fresh start. 
It hadn't occurred to you that he never got off on the third floor. 
He rode up to the seventeenth floor just to talk to you. And once the elevator stopped and the doors started to open he asked you out. He insisted that he needed a tour guide to find the best ramen that Portland had to offer. 
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5 years later 
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“And after that the rest is history”, you laughed as you felt Evans's arm slightly squeeze your waist in affection. 
You wouldn't believe where you were, back home in Forks. You had managed to avoid it since you left because your parents moved down to just outside of Portland after they realized that your move was permanent. 
Your engagement to Evan had come just over a year after you met him. After swearing up and down that after Paul you were never going to let yourself love someone again you found yourself drowning in the love that you had for Evan. And when he got down on one knee you didn't even let him finish what he was saying before you were throwing yourself in his arms shouting ‘yes’. 
But your parents hadn't moved down until you Facetimed them a year after your wedding holding up ultrasound photos. They screamed and cried tears of joy, they were going to get to be grandparents. You hadn't told them everything that had happened with Paul but they knew enough. They knew that he had broken your heart and now saw how your husband was putting it back together piece by piece. They saw how happy you were. 
And you are happy. 
You were getting everything that you wanted, everything that he had promised you. 
Marriage, a big house with a white picket fence, and children.
That’s why when you received an invite to Emily and Sam’s wedding you gladly accepted. There was no reason for you not to go, you learned a long time ago that letting the thought of Paul control your life was no way to live. If after all these years Emily still sent you an invite obviously she wanted you here. 
So here you were, standing with Jared, Kim, Embry, and his imprint Ava. Kim had just about burst into tears when she saw you sitting with Evan and your son in the back of the ceremony. She was standing beside Emily at the altar and you could have sworn she almost ran back down the aisle to scoop you in her arms. And that's what she did as soon as Sam and Emily were announced as Mr and Mrs Uley. 
There was so much catching up to do, that was evident. Five years of not talking to one of your best friends, especially at the stage of life all of you were in. You could see it in all of their eyes when you introduced Evan to them that they approved, it was almost a look of relief like they were glad that you had been able to move on after everything that had happened. You had both apologized for not inviting each other to your weddings but that could be forgiven. Especially when you both realize that you had young sons. Her and Jared’s son is three and your son is almost two. 
The two of them quickly got along and were off playing in the designated kid's area of the field where the reception was being held. You were having so much fun laughing with old friends and introducing your husband to everyone that you almost didn't catch the moment she walked by. 
Rachel Black had her arm hooked through the extended arm of some man, one that you recognized but didn't know quite where from. All you knew was that it wasn't him. 
Embry was the first to clock your glance. He followed your gaze and quickly noticed who you were looking at.
“Who the hell is that?” 
You had cut Jared off in the middle of his story about getting thrown out of the Mariners game and saw his eyes bug out of his head when he followed your gaze. She moved carefree throughout the wedding, stopping to say hi to people here and there as she and her mystery man made their way to a table near where her father was talking to Chief Swan. 
“Her fiance”, Kim mumbled over the rim of her champagne glass. 
“What!”, you were definitely louder than you had meant to be, guests nearby turning to look at you and your friends. Sheepishly you gaze at them all, a smile wincing at the sudden onset of attention. 
“It’s a long story Y/N”, Embry said pleadingly. He did not want to get into this right now, you know he didn't. However, there is absolutely no way for you to let this go. 
The woman who had unintentionally wrecked your relationship was now hanging off the arm of another man. And now you were wondering if that's why you hadn't seen the said man at all tonight. As far as you know he’s still one of Sam’s best friends, not that you cared to double-check. 
One look from you Embry’s way was enough for him to huff and motion to an empty table a little further away from the impromptu dance floor. Pulling your husband behind you, you marched your way over plopping down on one of the empty chairs. 
“I’m gonna go check on our boy”, Evan said, emphasizing the word as he kissed the top of your head and started to cross the field. You knew what he was doing, he was making everything easier. You were sure that your old friends had assumed that you had let Evan in on the pack's secret (which you had after you had gotten engaged). But you figured that he thought they would want to talk as freely if he was around. That's why you love him so much, he knew how to read a room and understood the special circumstances surrounding your past relationship and the baggage that followed you because of it. 
After everyone else had made it back to the table, barring Ava who had gotten swept into a conversation with Leah and her mom, you shot them all looking waiting to see who was going to start. 
“They got married…six months after you moved” 
This information was shocking, I mean Paul had always been one to move fast, but six months? 
“And everything was okay for a while. They seemed like they were really in love”, you flinched at Jared's words and Kim, noticing your actions, slapped her husband's chest with the back of her hand, rolling her eyes at his carelessness. Jared however wasn't phased and kept going. 
“And then the fighting started. It was small things at first, we would see them bicker when walking up the steps at Em’s, or when Paul phased we could hear him replaying their argument over what to have for dinner the night before”. 
He paused, taking in a deep breath, resting his hand on top of Kim’s where she had it laid on the table in front of her. Lucky for him Embry decided to take pity on his brother and cut in. 
“Y/N things got bad. Paul and Rachel both have very strong ummm…personalities”. He chuckled nervously as he bit his lip. You knew this made him uncomfortable and part of you felt bad for making him tell you all of this but you needed to know. You needed to know for the sake of knowing, it's not like anything in your life was gonna change because of it. Happiness had finally found you, and part of you felt bad that Paul’s had only been temporary, even though he had shamed your heart. 
“The small fights turned into screaming matches, and they weren't always private. And umm at some point the screaming escalated to the two of them breaking things. Rachel would throw glasses and beer bottles and such and Paul broke one too many kitchen chairs for them to keep replacing them”. 
“Eventually we had to step in, I mean the boys had to physically step in Y/N”, Kim cut in, the look in her eyes telling you that she was reliving the drama. “Sam, Jared, and Embry let themselves into Paul and Rachel's place one day when he was home and she wasn't and they had to drag him kicking and screaming out of there practically”. 
“It's not like he was abusive, it 's just that they are both so damn toxic”. Jared chuckled as he struggled to describe what it was like watching their relationship from start to finish. 
The three of them filled you in on specific instances of when the crazy started to show, while also reiterating how sorry they felt for how they handled everything that night years ago. 
“So where is he now?”, you blurted out. The wine finally made your head feel a little fuzzy and your filter started to thin. This question caught them off guard, the three of them exchanging awkward glances back and forth. 
“I don't know, none of us do. He was supposed to be here but since last night it's been radio silence. No one has heard a word from him”, Embry said. 
----------
You felt like you were being watched. 
After finishing your conversation with your friends the four of you walked over to where the kids were running around. Evan and Ava had been making small talk as they gave the four of you space. 
And now as you watched your friends interact with your son and husband you were trying to have a good time and appreciate the moment. 
But you couldn't, because someone was watching your every movement. 
You tried to brush it off, but the longer the night went on you could still sense it. Trying your best to act nonchalant you looked at the outskirts of the field and just beyond the tree line. You didn't want to worry anyone, especially your husband. Evan was having such a good time, he and the boys got along well and you knew that as soon as you got back home he was gonna start bugging you to come back up here. 
You were scanning the tree line again when you saw something or someone. And as you squinted to get a better look your heart stopped beating. 
Paul. 
He was hidden (not very well) in the trees, just past the makeshift dance floor. He looked disheveled, his pants and partially unbuttoned white shirt were wrinkled and slightly dirty, no doubt from spending the entire night stalking from the trees. 
He looks different from the last time you saw him, he looks…older maybe? No longer clean-shaven, some scruff was clear even from where you stood. Lines and marks litter his face and his eyes. Oh, his eyes look so tired. 
His body stiffened when the two of you made eye contact and he realized that he had been caught. But he didn't skitter away like a scared animal when you excused yourself from your group, promising your husband that this should only take a minute. 
---------------
You couldn't believe it, here you were face to face with the man who you swore up and down that if you ever saw again you would kill. But here you were, face to face with him and you couldn't even think of anything to say. 
Because the thing is you weren't mad at him anymore.
No, you felt bad for him. 
You had everything and he had nothing. 
He looked like a scared little boy as he stood before you messing with his fingers, something you remember him doing to try and relax. Gone was the macho-man personality. He looked embarrassed. 
“Hi”, his voice was shy, even more unlike him than acting embarrassed. 
“What do you want Paul?” he startled at your tone but you didn't care. You weren't going to give him the time of day. This conversation was not between two old friends catching up after now seeing each other for a few years. No, you were having this conversation out of necessity and necessity only. 
“I just wanna talk, it's been a while”. 
“Yeah I know, last time we talked you dumped me over text and when I went to try and talk to you about it hours later you didn't even look phased. Already cuddled up to your imprint”, you made sure to lace your words with venom, you wanted to make it hurt. Make him relive his actions and decisions. 
His nostrils flared at your last word. He hated being reminded of her, of that bond that they still shared. The stupid bond that had ruined his life. The same bond he thought had ruined your life. But seeing you here, walking hand in hand with a man, a small child in your arms he realized he had been wrong. 
The only thing that had gotten Paul through all his fights with Rachel and all the time he spent alone after was the thought of you. How after he worked through everything he could get you back. Paul knew how devastated you had been. He had never told anyone but he knew you were there that day at Emily’s. He knew you had started up the porch and decided to put his arm around Rachel, to send you a message. 
In some sick way, that thought of you being alone and missing him got him through the darkness. But now he realized that he had been wrong. 
You hadn't spent the past five years moping around and waiting for him to confess his love for you. The love for you which almost killed him. He had tried to shove it down, he had been blessed with an imprint, and he should be happy. 
But that wasn't the case. 
He hated himself for it, dragging Rachel into the mess that was his life. Because she wanted him to love her, she wanted a happy marriage and a long life with Paul. And that's what Paul thought he wanted. The bond did make Paul feel for Rachel, he wanted to protect and keep her safe. He didn't want to see her sad. But those feelings didn't stop his love for you. 
You had become the center of their marital problems. 
Hundreds of miles away, completely moved on and completely oblivious to the stake that you held in their relationship. 
Rachel learned very quickly that she wasn't the only woman Paul loved. And she had tried to live with it for a while. Growing up she had learned how special it was to be an imprint for one of the shifters. It was devastating to realize that she would never get that from Paul. 
And after a while of trying to make it work and a little intervention from their friends, they called it quits. She had moved on, meeting someone who truly loved her and could put her first. 
Paul however hadn't. 
“I’m sorry about that Y/N. I just wanna…” 
“You wanna what Paul? I’m not playing these games, it's late and I don't wanna spend the rest of the night arguing with you, because guess what we have nothing to argue about anymore because we are nothing”
“Don't say that Y/N”
“Don't say what Paul said? Don't say that we are nothing, are you crazy? Like generally have you lost your damn mind?” 
“Y/N I love you and I know you still have to feel the same, I know how upset you were after we broke up”, his voice cracked as he pleaded with you. And you couldn't help but laugh. 
“We didn't break up Paul, you dumped me…over text. Five years ago might I add, and you really must have lost it. I’m fucking married Paul, I have a child with a man that I love, someone who isn't like you, he isn't a coward”. 
“No, no don't say Y/N, please”, he was begging now. Full-on begging. 
“Paul I have nothing to say to you because I’m not going to say anything that you wanna hear. I don't love you”. 
Time seemed to stop at your admission. 
The forest seemed to be still, the soft breeze dying down and the rusting of the animal inhabitants went silent. And the light from Paul's very sad eyes seemed to dim even more if that was even possible. He truly had spent all this time that you still loved him and believed that the two of you could happen again. 
What happened next was something you could have never predicted, not after knowing Paul for as long as you had. 
He dropped to his knees, blubbering like an infant and pleading with you. 
“Y/N please, we can make this work I know we can. Just give me one more chance, I still love you”. 
He was making a scene. People were starting to notice the distressed man at your feet as he sobbed into his hands pleading with you to come back to him. Luckily Jared noticed the mumbling of some people near him and immediately saw what was happening. 
“Shit”, he muttered under his breath as he grabbed a fistful of Embry’s suit jacket to pull him with him as they took off jogging trying to act nonchalant. This was still their friend's wedding and there was no chance they would let Paul and his inability to get a hold of his emotions ruin it. 
The rest of the pack spotted the incident and quickly jumped into action. Sam had noticed what was happening and was putting all his trust in his friends to handle it, the last thing he wanted for Emily’s day to be ruined. 
“Come on buddy, I think you need to calm down”, Jared told Paul as Jacob helped him pull Paul off the ground. Paul was still breaking down, it was like the floodgates had broken. Every emotion that he had buried for so long was just pouring out of him. It was hard for the pack to watch as one of their own, someone who was normally so stoic and cocky completely broke. 
“No, stop, I'm not going anywhere. She’s not listening”, he protested, trying to shove off the various sets of hands trying to control him.
“I think she's listening perfectly fine Paul, I mean come on man, she has a husband. This isn't new news”. Seth said from his spot next to you, his body slightly angled in front of yours, ready to defend if Paul lost control and shifted. 
“But I still love her”, he wailed. The boys were shoving him back now, deeper into the forest, for the sake of the wedding but also partially for his dignity. 
And that was the last you saw of him, getting half-carried, thrashing around like an angry toddler sobbing as he disappeared into the woods. 
Once he was gone you couldn't hold it in anymore. It was your turn to sob. 
Even after all the pain and suffering he had put you through you hadn't wanted to hurt him like that. Seeing someone usually so strong shatter and at your words devastated you. 
You don't know how long you stood there before Kim darted in front of you and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. 
It's confusing, you didn't know why you were crying. You had no reason to feel bad after what he had done to you and everything you had said was true, after everything he had done even if you weren't happily married you wouldn't get back with him. However, you felt so guilty, like you had been the one to ruin his life, even though Paul had made his decision. 
Paul had been the one to knock down the first domino and start the chain reaction. He had made his bed and now he has to lie in it. 
However, while you knew all this to be true you couldn't help but call out to him, you knew he was listening, wherever they had carried him to. 
“I’m sorry Paul, I’m so sorry”. 
-----------------
blobsblobican (you asked to be tagged in part 2!)
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goodolddumbbanana · 20 hours
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Can I hear more of your thoughts on toxic yaoi sun and dark sun please?
Hehe... Saying Sun x Dark Sun in toxic yaoi mode but actually, it is not that bad and horrible.
Okay... So... You know how often the people who are closest to you will bring out the best and worst sides of you?
In my toxic yaoi timeline, Sun kinda joined Dark Sun because he has hurt Moon badly (again, accidentally, because Moon's Killcode activated again), and even Earth (accidentally) because she has said something hurtful to Sun (not her fault, she just got triggered by Nexus and thinks Sun will end up exactly the same like him)
Anyway, Sun will feel so ashamed of himself and run away, like he couldn't believe he can control himself without hurting people.
He feels like he is the poison, that whatever he touches just splashes everywhere.
Dark Sun just innocently comes to check on Sun, you know, just to see how he is doing.
Then he asks Sun to come with him. I mean, technically, he said He will give Sun two options,
1. Get out of this dimension and Sun would never be found by anyone he doesn't want. (But Dark Sun)
Or 2. Come with him, and he will help Sun to not get hurt like that anymore. Because Sun helps Sun.
Sun chose option 2. (a momentary decision but he can't take it back anymore)
So because it is his own choice and his own fault (nobody blames him, they only want him to go home but Sun didn't know it. ), Sun will be very needy but conflicted to Dark Sun.
(awkwardly doing everything like a lost dog to get Dark Sun attention for most of the moments, but then feel nervous and hostile of Dark Sun for what he does, what he is planning.)
Because how he lost control of his temper leading him to hurt people he cares about or just simply he is tired of people's crap but Sun will have a hard time to distinguish whether he likes Dark Sun or he just needs Dark Sun because he is lonely.
He doesn't know if he is this loyal to Dark Sun (he will follow Dark Sun blindly) because there is no way left for him, or Dark Sun is right and is his friend. (They share a lot of similarities, their interests, their everything...)
There will be a heavy imbalance of power between the two.
And they will have a lot of moments when Sun will get irritated and argue back to Dark Sun (stand up to Dark Sun) but then Sun will immediately shut down and apologize desperately afterwards because Sun only has Dark Sun left...
And Dark Sun... Oh boy...
On the positive side, He secretly likes having a little tail tagging along, hearing his voice get rambling out, and having someone pushing his ego.
He is Sun also, so even though he likes being alone, he can't stand being lonely. Furthermore, Dark Sun won't mind Sun's stuttering or anxious behaviour. He will Sun stronger, more relying on himself.
But on the down path...
He will become very possessive.
He will decide for Sun where he sleeps, where he charges, where he cleans. Because Sun is his belongings, he will want to know everything Sun did or does, and control Sun literally at that.
There will be a lot of Moon's traits slipping up from Dark Sun that even he didn't realise. (Controlling, possessive, manipulated... He even made Sun into his experience, his bodyguard, all due to the reason he is curious and he likes to see how it goes. He will lie even at himself that all the things he did was to help Sun protect himself , though)
He likes Sun, he misses being Sun, but he also hates Sun for being the person he used to be.
So although Dark Sun will treat Sun well for most of the time, but then, there will be these times when he literally likes switching up his attitude. Being indifferent, cold, cruel at Sun without any reason to let Sun beg for his attention.
(He will still pull some stunt to test Sun's loyalty.
He will let Sun see Sun's celestial family on camera, reminds Sun sometimes that they still want Sun, still finds Sun and asks Sun lightly if he wants to see them again or not.
But he will also remind Sun of what happens, of how Sun snapped.
It is not manipulation if it is true, right?
Dark Sun will throw Sun back to his doorstep, his dimension to watch Sun begging him to take Sun back to their home.)
(And sometimes, when he is both in his nice and angry mood, he will let or forcedsSun kill some Moon and let he grieve for these people Sun killed.)
And you might think Sun might get hacked , brainwashed or something... Nope. Nothing... Dark Sun does not even lock the door, or have a plan B in the case if Sun betrayed him.
No. They have some seriously sick twisted trust between them that even if Sun holds a knife at Dark Sun's throat at the night when Dark Sun lowers his guard, Dark Sun will still continue to sleep.
He believes Sun would never betray him, and never can.
And some sad path, he is true, as long as Sun still holds the idea that no one wants him but Dark Sun.
Haha, funny right?
Also, I would like to think whenever Sun has any doubts, Dark Sun will just show him Nexus or every Moon being the asshole at the moment, or how Earth still needs to be repaired....
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Help in unexpected arms
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Colin Gray x classmate!reader
warning : tiny fluff, comfort, kiss, some angst, injury (a little blood)
Summary : His date that night with Jennifer, who suddenly had a special aura around her, should have been something good and beautiful. What it shouldn't have ended up being is him running through the secluded street at night bleeding and finding himself half passed out in front of the door of a familiar face. A familiar face a little different from him but with a nature ready to help him.
info : For a very long time something for Colin again just something small fluffy at least to cuddle etc well have fun reading and until the next work
masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cool evening air had surrounded him since he had left his house, the hopeful words of his mother that he could have gone out at a better time as there was still the afternoon service the next day but the words were just a murmur in his ears as the cool calming evening surrounded him, ,,Free at last” he mumbled as he broke out of the cage of his parent's house.
Instead, his heart skipped a beat as he thought of Jennifer in the last few days and weeks, she seemed to have changed, still shining brighter here and there with her suffering, she seemed to be more and more in the grave with each passing day, at least that's how it seemed to him as his thoughts about the brown-haired girl came up again and again in his poems.
She seemed almost like a muse to him and even though he had almost choked on his words, threatening to sink into the ground with shame, he had simply walked away and the message had popped up on the small screen of his cell phone and one press of the keys later he had the address in front of him.
It was about a quarter of an hour away, on the outskirts of a small town that only had a lively inner area and the further away you went, not only did the houses become more fragile, but the forest threatened to swallow you up - the idea of simply disappearing was actually quite pleasant, but the thought of being in the abandoned houses made him a little uneasy inside.
Disappearing into the forest would still have something picturesque about it, but these houses sometimes gave him the feeling that they would eat you up and leave you under the rubble, so he shook off the thought when he finally saw the green traffic light and turned off the main road in the remote direction.
Not noticing that the first house in the old street had a lighted house, a small house inhabited by a small family with currently one resident his classmate in history and literature and at the same time a participant in the church masses through her mother who had taken another night shift at the hospital.
The teenager who didn't pay any attention to the car couldn't either when she listened to rock music through her headphones, which she hid under her bed together with her mp3 player.
It was enough if she had to do the clean believer at school so she had some time for herself in the evening and could listen to a little music, sing and just watch a few horror movies without being yelled at that it was the devil.
But one thing in particular had made her smile that evening as Colin, who was sitting opposite her in Literature, had left the room after the bell had rung and lost a piece of paper, so she wanted to chase after him but didn't want to get lost in the corridor crowd of students, so she kept the poem for now.
,,When I give it back to him I'll ask him out,” she mumbled, glancing at her computer where the local movie theater's site was showing a classic horror movie, the perfect date and a beautiful poem about lost love, and she let it go round and round again.
A leeky scrawly cute handwriting she thought as she thought of him sitting in his dark room with the rock music playing from his cd player and him singing softly and writing the poem to himself.
She'd be lying if she said she hadn't lost her heart to him since she'd heard his poem and that cute smile when he talked to his friends and probably shared a few morbid jokes.
Turning back to her own things, she didn't notice how two figures met just a few houses away, how lust and love could cloud someone as her crush made his way through the building, the atmosphere was his but she had no idea what would happen.
The kiss should have sealed his fate the pain of the wound on his arm was a sign and the pain that went through his body as he suddenly felt sharp teeth on his neck his scream mingled with roars, cracking beams and rat squeaks the teeanger tried to tear himself away managed to find a wooden bed in the building and with a yelp and a holler managed to knock Jennifer or that something of hers off him.
Not wasting a moment he ran out of the room sorang down the stairs and almost got knocked down and ran outside but in his haste he had forgotten one thing and when he looked behind him he saw Jennifer standing in the window with a hideous bloodied mouth turning the car key around her fingers as she mouthed the word run.
The rosary he always carried with him lost in the flight, the individual wooden beads slowly rolling down the stairs as he rushed back to the main road, bleeding with adrenaline, panic beating in his heart that she would eat him as soon as he even looked behind him.
,,Help!” he screamed, his throat burning from running and screaming, finally making a sound as he shouted the word, calling the police but no one would hear him here, no one except Death who was after him to finish what she had started.
He knew he wouldn't make it until he saw the light in the corner of his eye, the first house on the street, a house he knew last fall they had stayed at her house on Thanksgiving after her mother had treated him at the hospital.
My salvation, he thought as he rang the doorbell, knocked, shouted and pressed against the window, the footsteps and shadows seeming to get closer the longer he lingered, but the main street was still a few meters away, which he wouldn't have made.
It was only a few seconds before the rock music stopped ringing in her ears and the moment of silence was enough for her to hear the quick ringing.
It's too early for mom she realized and decided to go and see anyway, maybe it was a delivery service that her mother ordered from time to time when she had a good grade or there was nothing left to eat.
Going downstairs in her dark pyjamas, she opened the door and screamed in horror as Colin burst in, bleeding and screaming, holding on to the stairs as he shouted, ,,Close the door! She wants to kill me!” and jerked away from her as she locked the door and hurriedly pulled the curtain shut and slowly turned to face him as fear coursed through her.
,,Colin…it's me…you're safe okay who's after you?’ she dared slowly sitting down on the stairs with him her trembling hand going to his barely noticing how she too now had blood on her hands as the cut on his arm dripped onto the wood and floor.
Something or someone must have attacked him but her glance at the door told her it was nothing and perhaps it was the first time she gripped the cold chain around her neck tighter and prayed within herself that all would be well, ,,Jen-Jenifer she's the devil!” he was still shouting but seemed slow to calm down as he held onto her when she tried to get up to fetch the first aid kit.
She paused, feeling uncomfortable about the whole sizaution and took off the cross necklace around her neck and put it in his hand, seeing that he didn't have his rosary with him.
,,Colin listen to me okay? My-my room is upstairs the first one on the right go there it's…safe” she said her voice still thick with anxiety as she sensed that something seemed to be watching her but the crosses and religious figures here in her house were protecting her.
She felt his hand on hers as he took the cross and a brief smile and a ,,Thanks” seemed to form on his face of fear, blood and tears before he ran upstairs and she went to the kitchen to find the first aid kit trying not to think about it too much but she too had noticed the change in Jennifer completely detached from the world pretty and then dead like.
,,She's not coming in here…don't worry Colin I'm with you” she thought and flinched as she heard an animalistic scream outside like a creature that was angry before the evil presence retreated and she too ran to her room no longer wanting to be alone.
Closing the door behind her she saw that Colin had calmed down, still shaking a little, he sat at the end of her bed looking overwhelmed and almost fascinated as far as he could at that moment.
,,Nice room…didn't think you liked that sort of thing” he admitted and she tried not to let on that she was trying to explain the whole situation to herself somehow, she sat down next to him and moved over on her bed, gesturing for him to follow what he was doing.
,,Thank you, well, you wouldn't believe what some people are, would you? Has me scared to death right now…let me see your arm" she admitted and saw the disappointed look on the black haired man's face.
He hesitantly rolled up his sweater and let her do her work knowing that she would do it better than him, since he had seen her again he knew about her talent as a prospective super healer at least for the moment.
She heard his soft ,,Thank you” again and he leaned a little against the bedstead, occasionally hearing a hiss or a gasp as she cleaned the wound, stroking his hand a little and he gripped her necklace tighter until his eyes fell on a piece of paper, ,,That's...that's mine,” he stated firmly and she looked up from his wound, feeling the warmth of her cheeks flush as she let go of his ministrations for a moment.
She expected him to want to leave, that he was getting too much of a crazy evening, but instead he handed her back the necklace, rubbed the blood off his sleeve and his hand touched hers as he handed it back to her.
,,Thank you… thanks for picking it up and not breaking it” he only said pulling back a little but the smile the wide joyful smile made her smile too ,,It's really beautiful so full of devotion, love and feelings just perfect’ she mumbled her thoughts to herself for a moment.
Putting the compress around the wound and pulling the bandage around it, she only half noticed Colin lean forward slightly and give her a kiss, a brief yet grateful sincere kiss before he pulled back and his nervous voice read the poem as she saw the pink on his cheek, his voice read the loving words and she sat down next to him.
The two's hands clasped together slowly, the chain seeming to connect them, ,,You touched my bleeding heart love," she heard his words before she leaned against him and Colin laid his head on hers as the two looked after each other that night, holding hands knowing that through blood and false love, only true hearts would be revealed, sealed with a kiss of true devotion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@angelsanarchy , @starry-eyed-wild-child ,
@rmwfe ->Here is the little emo boy ;)
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nickeverdeen · 2 days
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Behind Closed Doors | Hazel Callahan x fem!reader
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Pairings: Hazel Callahan x fem!reader (romantic), PJ x fem!reader (younger sister), Isabel x fem!reader (platonic), Isabel x Hazel (platonic), PJ x Hazel (platonic)
Type of fic: Romance, Character Development, Tiny Hurt/Comfort, Drama
Warnings: None (I think?)
Summary: You and Hazel have been dating for some time and she never preassured you to become public as you weren’t ready to come out, but how does it change when Isabel finds out about you two?
Tag List: @callsignwidow
—————————
You joined the fight club reluctantly, more out of curiosity and a desire to stay close to Hazel than anything else. The whole idea was insane—punching people to get back at the football team—but PJ was all in, and that meant you were too, to some extent. Besides, Hazel had been so excited about it, and you couldn't resist the way her eyes lit up when she talked about the club.
Hazel didn’t know, but that was one of the many reasons you fell for her.
It was risky being together, especially since you hadn’t come out yet, but Hazel was understanding. She never pushed you, and that patience only made you fall deeper. However, keeping it a secret, especially from PJ, was getting harder. Especially when you both ended up at the same places, like the fight club.
Your eyes always found Hazel, checking if she was okay after each sparring match, wincing when she took a hit. It was a miracle no one had noticed yet. Well, except maybe Isabella. She had a sharp eye, and recently, you’d noticed her glancing at you during the club meetings, her brows furrowing slightly when you got too concerned about Hazel. But she hadn’t said anything—at least not yet.
Today, you arrived at the gym earlier than usual. The place was empty, save for a few stray mats on the floor. Hazel was already there, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, lost in thought.
"Hey," you greeted softly as you approached her, immediately noticing a bruise on her arm from the last session. "How are you feeling? That last fight looked rough."
Hazel shrugged with a small smile. "I’m fine. Just a bruise or two."
You frowned, gently reaching out to trace the edge of the darkened skin. “You should be more careful, you know. This isn’t exactly safe.”
“I know,” Hazel replied, her voice softening as she looked at you. “But it’s worth it... being here with you.”
You couldn’t help but smile at that, feeling warmth spread through your chest. Hazel had a way of making you feel special, of making you forget the fear of being found out. And when you looked into her eyes, you saw something that made your heart skip a beat—complete adoration. It was as if she still couldn’t believe that someone cared about her like this, that someone wanted her.
Your fingers moved from her arm to her hair, playing with the soft strands. Hazel closed her eyes, leaning into your touch. Leaning in, you kissed her, your lips meeting hers gently. It wasn’t hurried or desperate, just a tender moment of connection that made the world outside the gym fade away.
When you pulled back, Hazel was smiling softly, her eyes half-lidded in contentment. You stayed like that for a moment, just enjoying each other’s presence, when suddenly you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind you.
You froze, your heart leaping into your throat as you turned around, eyes wide with fear. Isabel stood there, her arms crossed, watching you with an unreadable expression. You hadn’t even heard her come in.
Panic gripped you, and you stepped back, your mind racing. You weren’t ashamed of being with Hazel—far from it—but the idea of people finding out before you were ready terrified you. Your breath quickened, and you found yourself stuttering, trying to find the right words but coming up short.
Hazel, seeing your distress, stepped forward, taking your hand in hers. “Isabel,” she started, her voice steady, “before you say anything, let me explain.”
Isabel raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt. Hazel squeezed your hand, giving you a reassuring look before continuing as she explained everything carefully.
Isabel’s gaze softened slightly as she listened, and you could see the wheels turning in her head. She let out a small sigh, then looked at you, her expression more understanding than you expected.
“I get it,” she said finally. “Secrets are tough. But if you’re worried about me telling anyone... I won’t. It’s not my place.” She paused, then added with a smirk, “But you two aren’t as subtle as you think. It’s kinda obvious when you start freaking out every time Hazel takes a hit.”
You blushed, but a small smile tugged at your lips. Hazel chuckled softly beside you, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. The tension in your chest began to ease, replaced by a sense of relief.
“Thanks, Isabel,” Hazel said, her tone sincere.
Isabel shrugged, her smirk softening into a genuine smile. “No problem. But seriously, be careful. Both of you.”
The three of you talked for a bit longer, Isabel asking a few questions about how long you’d been together and how you managed to keep it a secret. Hazel answered most of them, her calm demeanor helping you find your footing again. Eventually, you joined in, feeling more at ease as the conversation continued.
By the time the others started arriving, you felt more confident. Isabel had promised to keep your secret, and you believed her. You and Hazel waited for your turn to spar, standing close but not touching—at least not in a way that would give anything away.
But as the session went on, something clicked and you moved behind Hazel, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your chin on her shoulder. She leaned back into your embrace with a contented sigh, and you placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.
Whatever fears you had about coming out were still there, but they didn’t seem as overwhelming now. Hazel had been right all along—it was worth it. And as you held her close, surrounded by people who would understand, you felt a sense of peace you hadn’t expected.
For now, this was enough.
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randomfoggytiger · 16 hours
Text
Collector's Edition: Samantha Mulder's (Many) Returns
In honor of anon's request: "I was wondering if you had any fic recommendations in which Mulder found Samantha? I'm having a hard time with closure ahah."
(Here are some previous Samantha fic lists:
Meet the Mulders    
Redux II Samantha Was Real
Little Samantha’s Life in Capture
A Tribute to Samantha's 50th Anniversary)
Loose chronological order below~
CANON-DIVERGENT
Pequod's Way Beyond Blue
He summoned up all the courage he'd ever had, or ever needed and walked into his future.
Pre-Sein und Zeit Mulder has a prophetic dream.
eponine119's
Odyssey
"I'm supposed to believe you did him a *favor* when you killed a little girl and - what, paid some workmen - to plant her scoured bones in that basement?" demanded Scully.
Pre-Sein und Zeit Scully is commanded by CSM not to tell Mulder that Samantha is dead.
Searching in Vain
Fingers moving through disturbed earth over bone. He couldn't look and yet he had to. The right size. The right injuries. Including that final, horrible one.
AU-- Mulder is suppressing the true nature of Samantha's twisted death.
Glimpse
The hours dissolved as he sat entranced, watching himself on videotape in situations where he knew he'd never been. A wedding. To Scully, a beautiful bride. Surprisingly, the tears didn't come when he saw Samantha on the tape, alive and grown and lovely. The tears came when he saw the children on video.
AU-- Mulder is shot into a horrific alternate universe where he gained (and lost) a happy ending.
@agent-troi's This Heart That I Misplaced
She looked just like the others… but something was missing. Something essential had been taken from her, and somehow that convinced him beyond any last shred of doubt that this was in fact his Samantha.
AU-- Pre-Closure nurse died saving Samantha's life; and her sacrifice kicks off the finale of Mulder's journey.
Justin Glasser's (xphilefic) Orrery
I don't remember a lot about where I was before I was here. I remember someplace else. There was water there, and I wasn't too warm all the time. And I remember that I miss it, but I don't know why. Here is okay, when there are no tests. Jeffrey lets me pet his dog.
AU-- Post Closure Mulder's happy ending is torn from him after Harold's son is found alive.
amorfati3215's The 5 Ads for If Samantha Was Found Alive
“My name is Claire,” she replies softly. “But I used to be called Samantha.”
AU-- Closure Scully tracks down the nurse who rescued and raised Samantha.
@all-these-ghosts's (Ao3) happily ever after
“She was married for a few years, but her husband passed away. Georgie and Lauren moved back in with me after. Lauren was just a baby when it happened.”
AU-- Closure Mulder and Samantha reunite.
DaynaFox's The Return of Samantha Mulder
“Are you another cop?” she asked him. “Did you find my Mom and Dad yet? They only went next store, to visit the Galbrands. Did you ask the Galbrands where they went?”
Samantha, the Galbrands have both been dead for over 15 years… Mulder thought as he gazed at her. 
AU-- Post Closure Mulder is given a call from the authorities: his sister is not dead; and has been returned, not a day older, with no memory of her disappearance.
AU
@ghostbustermelanieking/skuls's
AU: The Mulders adopted Samantha instead of her being abducted.
Later on, he’s kind of glad he’s an only child.
What it says on the tin.
november 27, 1973
Her mother cries, pulls her into her lap and holds her tightly, says, “My baby, my baby,” over and over again. Samantha asks for cookies, and her mother takes her to the kitchen and pours her a glass of milk and stacks three cookies in front of her even though the rule is no more than 2 and not after bedtime. It’s past her bedtime, but she eats them anyway, has never remembered being this hungry.
Different endings to Samantha's abduction.
california winter
Fox gulped. He wanted to change his mind in that moment, but he heard Samantha and Jeffrey crying in the closet and he couldn't say a word. He had to be the brave big brother. He had to protect him.
Mulder and Samantha are both taken; and devise a plan of escape with little Jeffrey in tow.
X-Files Fictober: woman, socks, locker. setting: abandoned storage unit.
He turns and sees the girl, much younger than her with dark hair curling down her back, dressed in the same hospital gown as her. No shoes, just socks.
One Breath Scully escapes with Samantha.
Half-Light Universe
You have another chance to figure out what happened to Samantha. She may not be dead. All of it… you get another chance.
He wonders if it’s worth it.
Revival Mulder and Scully are shot back to those nine minutes they lost in the Pilot, with a chance to make everything-- or more things-- right.
@pilotinthestars's the holding-her-breath girl (Ao3)
It hit him then. She’d never been to this house, the one Teena had bought after the divorce in Connecticut.
Samantha is gone; Samantha is returned; and Samantha might not stay.
Erin M. Blair's
Turning Nine
"It's not your fault, Fox."
Samantha is returned from her abduction; and refuses to tell anyone except Mulder about her experiences.
Newfound Love
"I know," said Samantha as she took the photo from Scully. "I want to find him...."
Mulder, not Samantha, was abducted; and she and Scully (with the help of Deep Throat) help rescue him years later.
Discovery Of Samantha
"You look as though you had seen a ghost," Jennifer remarked, with a wry sense of humor.
Mulder and Scully are happily married (despite Diana's machinations); and find out one of their friends is Samantha.
@discordantwords's (Ao3) Lethe
She cannot remember the song, cannot remember her mother's name. But she remembers the sound of laughter, the red polka dots on her dress, bare toes in thick pile carpet.
Pre-One Breath Scully finds Samantha on the train car.
@i-gaze-at-scully's AU where the Samantha clone was actually the real Samatha
Mulder doesn’t attend the funeral. Can’t face his parents, can’t face the finality of two decades’ worth of his quest finally ending. Can’t face the 28 year old cold body of his 8 year old sister.
End Game Samantha wasn't a clone.
Mystic's
Misnomer
She watched them run test on her blood and her skin, they were exited by everything about her. She didn't understand.
X tells Mulder where to find Samantha... but, as always, nothing is ever clean-cut.
Secrets in the Forest
"Scully there's something you have to know about Kinnear. The night's are cold. I don't mean Washington D.C. cold, I mean cold." Samantha said accenting that last 'cold'.
Mulder and Scully inadvertently find Samantha while investigating a UFO case.
JLB's Lost and Found
"The test results determined that there is a match," she says quietly. "This is Samantha."
DNA confirms that one of Roche's victims was Samantha; and Scully tries to keep Mulder from falling completely apart.
@officialmulder/specialagentpao's broken hearts, paper hearts
It was going to be a snowy day. Mulder smiled to himself. Samantha liked snowy days. It was an excuse to stay in bed and drink hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows. They were allowed to do it once or twice a year.
Roche did kill Samantha; and Tena Mulder blames her son.
@slippinmickeys's
AU where Roche DID kill Samantha (Ao3)
In a photo in the lower right-hand corner, Samantha was posing with a brand new bike, dressed in a floral nightgown, the tree behind her covered in garish amounts of tinsel.
Post Memento Mori Mulder finds evidence that the last girl was Samantha, after all.
Livia Balaban's
180-Word Self-Imposed Challenge: Samantha's Fate - Version Four
And now a new lie. That she is my sister. I look into her unblinking Hazel gaze, and shake my head. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Redux II Samantha appears, again; but Mulder doesn't believe she's his sister.
Cunegund's Restoration I & II
Nine-year-old Samantha sits with us, another addition to our new family, and Krycek seems impossibly pleased with himself as he eats his own omelet with his right hand while he stirs his coffee with his left.
Post Requiem Mulder returns-- via the efforts of Krycek, TLG, and even Morris Fletcher-- with the abductees and his still young sister... right in time for his growing family to go into hiding.
Susanne Barringer's Thicker than Blood
Mulder stepped into the kitchen and immediately Samantha dropped Scully's hand. She shifted her position to put some distance between them, and her face turned hard.
Post Redux II Samantha appears again... and not for benevolent purposes.
Amy's Where Are You, China Blue?
"You're not listening."
"Yes, I am."
"Then stop it, Daddy. Just hear me out. I don't care anymore."
Post Redux II Samantha is sick and tired of CSM's games.
@writingwell/RocketMan's (xanadu) A Jerry Maguire Ending
"Why are you still here, Mulder? Your life long quest has ended. Samantha is back, and you know the reasons behind it, if not the purpose. What keeps you here?"
Post Redux II Samantha is incensed that her brother doesn't want to quit the files.
Susan Proto's
Familiar Faces
There was no doubt in his mind it was Samantha.
Or a clone.
Post Fight the Future Mulder and Scully see a Samantha lookalike; and Scully decides to do some investigating.
Miracles
"Fox, you're wrong. He can help your partner," Christeena attempted to convince. "He cured me, and he can cure Dana. Fox, I swear. I swear on your sister's life."
Scully is pregnant and in a coma, Maggie doesn't consider Mulder 'family', and Tena has known all along her daughter is still alive.
Jennifer Maurer's Perfect Gifts
"Yes. I have Agent Mulder's sister Samantha."
Scully makes a Christmas monkey paw deal for Samantha's return.
Lauren's (MC) The Return
The side profile of the child looked vaguely familiar. Mulder squinted his eyes to look closer. He suddenly felt the strength drain from his body as recognition registered for a brief minute.
Samantha is briefly returned; and CSM tries to use that to his advantage, luring Mulder into a death trap.
Sarah Ellen Parsons's 180-Word Self-Imposed Challenge: Samantha's Fate - Version One
I look at them suspended in greenish liquid - my children.
Samantha is a co-conspirator in the clone project.
Mish's Contact
His eyes swim with unshed tears but his words are steady. "I had the Gunmen search for her. Actually, she seems to be leading a pretty normal, happy life." His lips curve in a watery smile.
Post The Unnatural Mulder brings Scully to watch a little league baseball game; and has one more surprise in store for her.
@cecilysass's The Boy on the Beach (Ao3)
He recounted it like it was an exciting action tale, like it was a comic book, and Samantha just stared at him, gimlet-eyed. Maybe it was right to trust him to handle his own sister. Then again, he had a well-documented tendency to make reckless moves, even when he was in his thirties.
Post Amor Fati Scully is whisked back in time, resigning herself to being trapped in the past forever if she can save Samantha from being abducted.
@o6666666's (Ao3) What's your headcanon for if Samantha was found?
“I’m fine,” Scully calls to her, eyes still beating down on Pfaster. “I’m fine, Samantha!” But she is shaking from head to toe, teeth chattering as if her apartment’s cold. 
Scully, Mulder, and Samantha adjust to the latter's return, riding the ups and downs of Season 7 together.
 finisterre's The Tunnel at the End of the Light
It's her, the woman from the video, peering out of the door. I can only see the right half of her face in the murk of the room. I relax a little; this has to be the right place.
Samantha and her two sons escape, looking for Mulder's help-- not knowing he'd recently been abducted.
Gillian Leigh's (MC) Visitor in the Desert (MC)
"Samantha?" The woman stared at him without recognition for a moment, and then her own hazel eyes widened behind the simple frames of her glasses.
Season 9 Mulder is visited by his daughter from the future-- who helps him prevent William's adoption and reunites him with his sister (and Scully's brothers) in an underground colony.
Donna's After the Future
The atmosphere was nothing like when he had been a child. He could remember hiding in the loft with Samantha watching their parents fight or their father conspire against humankind.
Part II to a Colonization timeline, Scully barters for Samatha's life so Mulder (and their biological and adopted children) can be at peace.
@mldrgrl's Some Other Me
There’s a Fox Mulder whose sister wasn’t taken from him by aliens.  Instead, she died in a drowning accident at their summer home when she was four.
A series of AUs for Mulder, Scully, and Samantha.
@wexleresque/hellsteeth's the holidays linger like bad perfume (Ao3)
“I grew up here, my parents both still live here, but they’re separated. My sister…isn’t well. They share the responsibility of caring for her, and as they’ve gotten older, I’ve been trying to come back more often and help out.”
Mulder and Scully briefly meet on the Vineyard, and swap some intriguing family history.
Leni's Partnership
It had taken a year of partnership to learn about Mulder's little sister. 
Mulder is an author, penning out the stories he'd told his late sister growing up.
@swinging-stars-from-satellites's no but the concept of Samantha Mulder being returned to the world at 14
she wants to know her own history and what Changed Her and it worries her, gets her deep enough into her head — Mulders, conscious of it or not, have depressive, obsessive tendencies — that she finally tries regression hypnotherapy....
Samantha, amnesic and happily adopted, works tirelessly to learn about her old life.
Keri Gontarek's Reunited II
"Yes. And she's fine. A little weak--apparently, Krycek was pumping her full of morphine and other drugs, but she's recovering."
Scully is an FBI Director when Mulder rejoins her life. In part one, it's revealed they have a son. In part two, they find and rescue Samantha.
Taverl's Notes II
But he took it even worse than I had imagined, shutting himself off from anyone and everyone. Especially me. After seventeen years of friendship and almost eleven of marriage, I know Mulder too well not to realize that he never held me responsible for the fact that he didn't find Samantha until it was too late. It was his own innate and well-honed sense of guilt that made him hurl accusations at me; that made him blame me for not finding her it time to save her. That didn't make it hurt any less, though.
Mulder's marriage falls apart after finding his dead sister; and Scully (and Skinner) finds him, half dead, in the tub.
@dreamingofscully's Surely, to the sea (Ao3)
She sighed, then stepped forward and took one of his hands. “Years ago. Samantha.”
Mulder’s eyes dropped to the floor and his hand went limp in hers. Silence draped over them as he processed her words. She knew what he was thinking, because the same ideas flitted around her own mind. 
Samantha's mysterious illness is mentioned as part of a larger casefile (featuring married paranormal investigators Mulder and Scully.)
Medusa's Sandcastles
"Samantha?"
She smiled at him. The most beautiful smile he'd ever seen, bar one.
Mulder wakes from a coma, having dreamt the X-files as an entire, false life.
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
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dracomalfoy7 · 3 days
Text
New Heights
Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader 
Summary: Y/N is a year older than Fred and after not seeing him all summer Fred’s growth spurt becomes…a surprise.
Word Count: 2.2k+
Warnings: Fluff, Swearingish?
A/N: Been back on Harry Potter TikTok and there are some good POV’s so I'm writing them for you guys ;) PS. gif isn't mine.
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You have always been close with the Weasley family. Your mom was best friends with Molly, so your summers were practically spent at the Burrow. You loved the chaos of it all—Percy with his nose in a book, Fred and George constantly trying to out-prank each other, Ginny tagging along with the boys, and Ron being the easy target of his older brothers' tricks. But it was Percy you were closest to. Only a year younger than him, you and Percy shared a unique bond. While everyone else was wild and adventurous, the two of you spent countless hours with him reading and you flying on your broom. Of course, you both loved to scheme against Fred and George whenever the opportunity arose.
When you finally got your letter to Hogwarts, you were ecstatic. Percy was already there, and you couldn’t wait to be sorted into Gryffindor and spend your school days together just like you had spent your summers. That didn’t happen, though. The Sorting Hat placed you in Slytherin. You were devastated at first, but it didn’t take long to realize that being in different houses didn’t change anything. You still spent every free moment with Percy, and more often than not, that meant time with his family as well.
That was how it had always been—until this past summer. When you were offered a spot in the exclusive quidditch camp. Though the decision wasn’t easy, Percy, being the ever-logical best friend he was, insisted you take the opportunity. "We'll always be here," he'd said. "But this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance."
And so, you went. The summer flew by in a whirlwind of practices, matches, and drills. You barely had time to write home, and when you returned to Hogwarts, it felt like you'd been gone for ages.
Percy greeted you at the train station with a tight hug, rambling on about his summer adventures. "Penelope Clearwater and I spent a lot of time together," he said with a small blush. You smiled, happy that Percy had found someone to share his time with. Then he continued, telling you all about the pranks Fred and George had pulled on Ron, and how Ginny had grown more into her own.
As the two of you walked into the Great Hall, you couldn't help but notice how different it felt coming back. Percy steered you towards the Gryffindor table where the rest of the Weasleys were sitting. Your heart lifted when you saw them—Ginny, Ron, George, Fred. They stood up to greet you, and you smiled warmly at them.
But then your gaze landed on Fred.
He turned to face you, and you froze for a moment, not believing your eyes. The Fred Weasley you had last seen before summer had changed—dramatically.
He had grown. A lot.
Fred Weasley turned toward you and stood up. The last time you'd seen him, he had been your typical gangly teenage boy, all limbs and grins. But now... well, now he was towering over your 5’3" frame. His shoulders had broadened over the summer, his face had lost its boyish roundness, and there was a new confidence about him that made your stomach flip unexpectedly.
"Y/N!" Fred grinned down at you, his voice a bit deeper than you remembered too. He enveloped you in a tight, friendly hug, the warmth of him surrounding you in a way that was strangely comforting and yet disorienting all at once.
"You’re taller," was the first thing you said when he pulled away, still looking up at him in disbelief.
Fred’s grin widened, mischief flickering in his eyes. "Noticed, did you?"
George piped up from behind him, laughing. "Fred's an I had a bit of a growth spurt, haven’t we? Over the summer, we especially him shot up like a bloody tree."
"Yeah, had a bit of a growth spurt," Fred said casually, though the amusement in his eyes suggested he was reveling in your reaction. "Quidditch does that to you."
"Quidditch?" you echoed, still staring up at him in disbelief.
"Yeah, been practicing loads this summer," Fred explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "George and I are aiming for professional teams once we’re done here."
You nodded, but your thoughts were still swirling. How had Fred changed so much in just one summer? It wasn’t just the height or the broader shoulders; there was something different about him. He seemed more... grown up.
"Y/N, you’re staring," Percy’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see him smirking at you, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Heat flooded your face. "I am not!" you protested, but Percy raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.
Fred laughed, the sound deep and warm, and your stomach did another unexpected flip. "It’s alright, Y/N. You can stare all you want. I don't mind."
You felt a flutter of surprise, one you hadn’t expected. This wasn’t the Fred Weasley you remembered—this was someone else entirely.
Your brain tried to catch up with the change, but it was hard to shake the image of the Fred you’d known before. The one you’d spent years pranking, teasing, and playfully bickering with. You glanced back at Percy, who just gave you a knowing smirk. "It’s been quite the adjustment," Percy said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You turned back to Fred, and he winked at you. "Still shorter than you in spirit, though."
You found yourself laughing, but there was a nervous edge to it. What was this? Why did you suddenly feel…different around him? You’d known Fred since you were kids. You’d never felt this way before, not even a little. But now, standing in front of him, it was like someone had flipped a switch inside you.
"I suppose I’ll have to get used to looking up at you now," you said, trying to shake off the odd feeling.
Fred raised an eyebrow, his grin never faltering. "You’ll manage. If not, I’m happy to carry you around." He winked again, and this time, you felt your cheeks heat up.
Merlin, this was going to be a long year.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, but Fred's new height and presence stayed in the back of your mind. You tried to act normal—laughing with the others, catching up on everything you’d missed. But every time Fred spoke or laughed, you found yourself glancing his way, your heart giving a little lurch each time.
Later that evening, as you sat in the common room with Percy, you couldn’t help but bring it up.
"Did Fred always…well, has he always been…?"
"Tall?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not until this summer. Why?"
You shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to explain it. "It’s just…different. He seems different."
Percy smiled knowingly. "You’re not the only one who's noticed. Ginny mentioned it too. The twins have always been a bit of prats, but now they got the looks to match."
You sighed, sinking deeper into the chair. "It’s just weird, I guess. I mean, I’ve known him forever, and now suddenly—"
"You fancy him," Percy finished, a teasing grin on his face.
Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. "No, I don’t! I just…it’s weird, that’s all."
Percy chuckled. "Sure, whatever you say."
But as the days passed, you couldn’t shake the feeling. Fred’s growth spurt wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Something between you had shifted too. He was still the same mischievous, fun-loving prankster, but now, there was something else—a tension that hadn’t been there before.
You found yourself seeking him out more than usual, joining in on his and George’s pranks, laughing at his jokes just a little too hard. And Fred? Well, he didn’t seem to mind the extra attention. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it.
One evening, as you sat by the fireplace in the common room, Fred flopped down next to you, his long legs stretching out in front of him. He nudged your shoulder playfully. "You’ve been quiet today. Everything alright?"
You glanced at him, your heart doing that stupid lurching thing again. "Yeah, just…tired, I guess."
Fred raised an eyebrow. "You? Tired? Never thought I’d see the day."
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile. "Even I get tired sometimes."
He leaned back, resting his arm on the back of the couch behind you. "You know, if you ever need a break from Percy’s study marathons, George and I could use some help with a new prank we’re working on."
You tilted your head, curious. "What kind of prank?"
Fred’s grin turned devilish. "Oh, you’ll see. But it involves a lot of stink pellets and a certain Slytherin prefect."
You laughed, shaking your head. "You two are going to get expelled one of these days."
"Maybe," Fred said with a shrug. "But it’d be worth it."
There was a pause, and then Fred turned to you, his expression softening just a bit. "It’s good to have you back, Y/N. Summer wasn’t the same without you."
Your heart skipped a beat, and you looked down at your hands. "Yeah, it’s good to be back."
Fred nudged you again, this time more gently. "Don’t go running off to another Quidditch camp next summer, alright? We missed you."
You looked up at him, your breath catching slightly at the sincerity in his voice. "I missed you too, Fred."
And there it was—that stupid fluttery feeling again.
This was going to be a long, complicated year.
The first few weeks back at school were a blur of classes, quidditch practice, and catching up with friends. You were eager to get back into the rhythm of things, but you couldn’t shake the odd feeling that had settled in your chest since you’d seen Fred again. He was still the same Fred, still cracking jokes and pulling pranks with George, but now you found yourself noticing little things about him that you hadn’t before. The way his smile seemed to linger on you just a little longer than necessary, the way he always found a reason to sit next to you in the common room, the way your heart skipped a beat whenever his arm brushed against yours.
It was driving you crazy.
One evening, after quidditch practice, you found yourself heading back to the common room, only to be intercepted by Fred in the corridor. He grinned, blocking your path with an outstretched arm.
"Y/N, there you are," he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."
You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. "Avoiding you? Why would I do that?"
Fred shrugged, leaning casually against the wall. "Dunno. Just seems like you’ve been... distracted lately. Didn’t think my growth spurt would have that much of an effect on you."
Your cheeks flamed. "I—what? That’s ridiculous, Fred. I’m not—"
He cut you off with a laugh, stepping closer. "Relax, Y/N. I’m just messing with you."
You huffed, trying to ignore the way your heart was racing in your chest. "You’re always messing with me, Weasley."
Fred’s grin softened into something that looked almost... fond. "Yeah, well, that’s what I do best, isn’t it?"
You couldn’t argue with that. Fred had always been a tease, always finding ways to get under your skin. But now, it felt different. Now, his teasing sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach, and you weren’t sure how to handle it.
"You’re acting weird," you muttered, trying to avoid his gaze.
"Weird?" Fred repeated, feigning offense. "Me? Never."
You rolled your eyes, but before you could say anything else, Fred reached out and gently tugged on a strand of your hair. "Come on, Y/N," he said, his voice lower now, more serious. "You know I’ve always liked you, right?"
Your breath caught in your throat, and you stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Liked me?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.
Fred nodded, his eyes searching yours. "Yeah. I mean, you’ve always been like... one of us. Part of the family. But this summer, I don’t know... I guess I realized I like you more than just... as part of the family."
Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest. "Fred, I—"
He held up a hand, cutting you off. "You don’t have to say anything now. I just wanted you to know. But, if you want to go flying sometime... just the two of us, you know where to find me."
With that, Fred shot you one last grin, his eyes twinkling, before turning on his heel and sauntering down the corridor, leaving you standing there, stunned.
Your head was spinning, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Fred Weasley—Fred Weasley—had just told you he liked you. And not in the way you’d always thought, like a brother or a friend. No, this was something different, something that made your heart race and your palms sweat.
As you stood there in the empty corridor, you realized that maybe—just maybe—Fred wasn’t the only one whose feelings had changed over the summer.
Fred’s growth spurt had certainly been a surprise, but what surprised you even more was how much your own feelings had grown right alongside him. And now, as you made your way back to the common room, one thought echoed in your mind:
Maybe it was time to take Fred up on that flying offer.
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k-nayee · 3 days
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Phantom Code Alien Romulus | i
wc: 1.4k a/n: Just a heads-up! This mini-series was originally a one-shot but ended up longer than expected. So once I post the final chapter (when Andy chases Navarro and Bjorn after the facehugger incident), that will be the end of the Phantom Code series. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!
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ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ
You barely remember the sunlight.
It lingers like a half-forgotten dream, a distant warmth that fades with each passing day. Hard to even believe you ever felt it.
Sometimes, when you close your eyes, you can almost feel it: soft and golden, brushing against your skin like the wind.
But here on Jackson's Star, the sun is nothing more than a ghost. It's a myth—a wishful story where the only source of light is from the cold, artificial glow of machinery.
This planet—this forsaken mining colony—is all you've ever known; your prison and your home. You don't remember how you got here, and never really understood why.
Your parents were never meant to be here, that much you knew. They were once something else—Weyland-Yutani engineers and technologists, people who made things better.
Specifically, they worked with androids.
Seeing first-hand the abuse and mistreatment of the synthetics, they tried to change the way they were treated. They spoke out against the horrors, fighting to stop the androids from being nothing more than tools and trash.
But the world doesn't like change, not when it threatens the order of things.
And so for their efforts, your parents were stripped of everything: their titles, their work, their lives as they knew it. Sent away to this death trap of a planet where they could be forgotten.
They never spoke much about the past. But in the quiet moments, when they thought you were asleep, you'd hear them whisper about it—about the life they once had, about the things they lost.
And you'd feel the weight of it, heavy and suffocating, until it was hard to breathe...
Hard to remember what life was before.
════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════
You were already half asleep when your mother tucked you into bed, her hands gentle but worn from the day's work.
The faint hum of the machinery outside your small window was a lullaby you'd grown used to, a constant presence that wrapped around you like a blanket.
As she leaned down to kiss your forehead, the shadows deepened the lines on her face.
"Sleep tight, my little Byte," she whispered, her voice tinged with a weariness that you couldn't quite place. "Dream of better things."
You nodded, your eyelids heavy from the weight of the day. Yet your mind was still awake, filled with thoughts that always seemed to follow you into sleep.
Why were you here? What had happened to the life you once had? Why did it all feel like a nightmare you couldn't wake up from?
But soon sleep came, as it always did, pulling you under with the promise of oblivion.
Until the whispers woke you.
At first, you thought it was part of a dream, the murmurs blending with the darkness. But then you heard it: harsh whispers and a heavy thud that filtered through your half-open door.
"...please...have to help me..."
The voice was unfamiliar, but there was something desperate in it that sent a shiver down your spine. Your heart pounded as you slipped out of bed, your feet barely making a sound on the cold, metal floor.
Creeping towards the door, you peer out, straining to catch more of the conversation.
"...can't keep here...it's too dangerous..."
"...kept hidden for this long...don't know where else to..."
There, in the small dimly lit sitting area, stood your parents with their backs to you; instead facing a man who looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
He was tall, deep lines etched into his face. His eyes were dark and tired, pleading and desperate. There was something about him that tugged at your memory, a vague recognition.
Mr. Carradine. You'd heard your parents mention him a few times in passing.
He was the man you'd occasionally see walking with your father, their heads bowed in conversation as they made their way back from the mines.
But seeing him here, in your home, with that look in his eyes—it was different. He seemed older, more worn down, as if whatever burden he carried had finally become too much to bear.
Your father's voice was tense as he spoke, "Carradine you know we can't... it's too risky."
"Please," Mr. Carradine interrupted, his voice breaking. "I'm begging you. She's all we have. I can't do this alone."
The room fell quiet, air thick with the weight of unspoken words. You saw your father glance to your mother, his expression torn as his shoulders sag in defeat.
Deciding you've snooped enough you move to go back to bed. But your arm brushes against the door as you did, causing it to creak. Three pairs of eyes turns toward you.
Your mother's eyes widened at the sight of you. "Sweetheart," she whispered, trying to keep the panic out of her voice, "you should be in bed."
You stepped forward, unable to keep the question from spilling out. "What's happening?"
Mr. Carradine fumbles. You immediately catch his movements, his hands swiftly pulling down on a tarp to cover whatever's underneath—a tarp you don't recall seeing before bed.
Seeing your interest piqued, your father hesitates for a moment before ultimately letting out a resigned sigh.
"Sweetheart," your father starts, voice cracked. But he stops, glancing at Mr. Carradine.
The man's gaze softened in understanding before nodding. "It's alright," he said quietly. "She deserves to know."
Your father meets your mothers gaze once more, another silent conversation passing between them.
"Alright, sweetheart," he motions for you to come closer, a weariness in his voice you couldn't refuse.
You approached them slowly, your eyes flicking between the three adults before landing on the tarp-covered object on the kitchen table.
When you were close enough, your father gently placed a hand on your shoulder, as if grounding himself before he spoke.
"Mr. Carradine found something," he explained, his words heavy with meaning you didn't fully grasp. "Someone, really. He... he's an android, one that was meant to be scrapped."
Your heart skipped a beat. An android?
You knew what androids were—machines made to look like people, to work like people, to serve people...but weren't people at all.
They were always treated as less than human, as nothing more than tools. You'd seen the way people talked about them, the way they were discarded when they were no longer useful.
"Why is he here?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Mr. Carradine gave a nervous hum as if to keep himself from crying.
"Rain...my little girl....she has no one but me an' her mom," he said, voice cracking on the words. "I've been hiding him, but I can't do it alone. I need your parents' help to keep him safe...to keep her safe."
He steps forward and pulled back the tar—
your breath catches in your throat.
There, lifelessly sitting in one of your dining chairs, was the most beautiful android you'd ever seen.
The synthetic skin that covered him was a soft, smooth and flawless warm shade of brown that almost glowed in the dim light.
His hair was short and tightly curled, sitting perfectly in place with each strand meticulously crafted to maintain its natural look.
His broad shoulders were relaxed, but there was a strength in his posture. Large hands rested on his lap, fingers curled as if they might twitch to life at any moment.
If you didn't know better, you'd think he was human.
His face is what got you, it held a sort of softness that was disarming: full lips that were slightly parted as if caught mid-breath, closed eyelids framed by dark lashes that rested against his cheeks like shadows.
It made his appearance oddly serene —like he was simply sleeping, not powered-down.
He made your mind fuzzy in a way that it shouldn't, but it did.
"What's his name?" you whispered, awe and confusion trembling your voice.
Mr. Carradine's expression softened, a faint smile tugging at his lips. "Andy," he said quietly. "His name is Andy."
Andy...
The name echoed in your mind. The longer you looked at him, the more something stirred in your chest—a spark, a connection you couldn't explain.
But in that moment, none of it mattered.
All you could do was stare, your eyes fixed on his face. Your heart pounded as you whisper his name under your breath
Andy.
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lokh · 3 months
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had a weird dream where i was competing against two other people for presumably my life and there was a bit that involved hunting monsters and i lost but when they asked if there was anything i wanted i said to let me try again, this time i had to kill a man (or a facsimile of one) and attempted to kill the orchestrator of these twisted tests who looked like tr*mp but turned out to be something like a lich, but he only found it amusing and I no longer remember the ending but I woke up thinking I must have won since I woke up at all
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novadreii · 1 month
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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gxlden-angels · 11 months
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Idk I think it's funny seeing people on twitter say things like "Christians want to tell you it's all a part of Jesus's plan until it's them!" cause like idk about you but I've had family members 100% say they're ready to meet the Lord than interfere with his plans via a Tylenol and a flu shot
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rugessnome · 2 years
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B/
I hate this canon (affectionate) but what I really loathe is the expectation to emotionally process new additions that I won't like (derogatory)
#tfw i am just. so. contemptuous of an ongoing canon grrrrrrrr#me reading summaries of Dooku Jedi Lost: you are copying the Darth Plagueis(novel) homework just altering it#me: *Tenth Doctor voice* hate Planet of the Hats. most of the time.#me: that is to say WHY must you backstrapolate that all ancestors are vaguely sinister#me (re Ramil): why the fuck is EVERY-freaking-BODY into racing? why couldn't he have a Different hobby like#model trains or amoebas or bagpipes or extreme ironing or cat photography or sprouting or bookbinding?! ...#me: I do not believe this is how the concept of count works this could be actually worse than Is There A College IN YOUR COUNTY?#(he's gotta be like... ahem. “Fifth in line for the throne” technically. it's just the rest of the succession is ~defunct. shhhh)#... you've lost touch with the original PT This Is How Anakin 🙂 Falls...#*bared teeth* jedi propaganda#(I think I could better like a crack fic where his “brother” is. hell. a cricketing Valeyard and he is technically from a different planet#*cough* Shparoi *cough* except his only contact with its famous export is they once both touched the same goose by incredible coincidence#*checks notes* technically and philosopically Yes connected but of Insignificant magnitude granddaughter Rey)#this started when Rakkety Tam was the most recent book I could procure. far more calmly with But It Won't Be As Special#after I um. ficced wildly for certain characters#'S absolutely full fledged very much how I have felt practically always about H/P after I read as far as I could then#loved the fic community but! I didn't have to care for very long if they Got My Blorbos All Wrong#bc you see they don't have the power to far-reaching wreck canon or go ardently transphobic and claim fandom of#books that scarcely address the topic is support for it :/#I do not feel like I Can Fan Correctly! 🙃
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