#but it changed nothing
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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au where everything is the same except mabel and dipper have been going to gravity falls every year before the show takes place since like kindergarten.
its a pretty simple premise that derives mostly from my desire to explore interpersonal relationships and the ways a place and people can change from a young child’s point of view. it doesn’t change canon that much either, admittedly, i just wanted to draw childhood friends stuff LOL. ill call it uhhhhhhhh every summer au.
#gravity falls#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#stan pines#grenda grendinator#candy chiu#pacifica northwest#gabuart#pacifica eventually stops being their friend and it makes mabel really sad but it just makes dipper really angry#gestures vaguely#people change. relationships change. every summer becomes a shadow of the last summer#gravity falls is the same but the people within it become more different every time we come#growing up is difficult#and frustrating#nothing makes sense#but at least we have each other#everything is going to be okay#every summer au
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waking up freezing and shivering, teeth chattering every night because your husband is a blanket hog. you know it's not on purpose. he just can't help it. doesn't even know he does it most times. you'd think after years together you'd be used to it, but waking up curled into the fetal position as you try to retain even a smidge of warmth is something you don't think you'll ever adjust to.
so you reach behind you, feeling your spouses large form wrapped snug as a bug in your shared blanket and you grip onto the fabric. you pull as hard as you can but you don't manage to move him even an inch. you try once more...same result.
"ken..." you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself. no response. "kento..."
he doesn't budge. you're tempted to just get up and go grab another blanket, but your husband, despite his seriousness, can get quite pouty when you do that. so you tap him hard instead sure to jab him in the spot you know is his most sensitive. this seems to do the trick as he grunts in response.
"I'm cold," you tell nanami and he sits up quickly, realizing what he's done. his pajama top hangs off one shoulder. his blonde hair is pointing every which way and sleep is heavy on his eyelids, threatening to weigh him down again any minute.
"I'm sorry, love," nanami speaks, voice rough and deep with exhaustion, but the sincerity in his apology clear.
then he's throwing the blanket back over you both. only he adds in a little extra warmth as he wraps his arm around your waist and throws a large leg over your body.
nanami buries his face in your neck, adjusting himself so that he can be as close to you as possible. only a few seconds pass before you hear his light snoring behind you. and you know the warmth you feel is from more than just his touch.
#bye i love nanami#im just rambling#something on my mind and now im going to sleep goodnight#i literally have nothing to add to this im squeezing out any little thing i can rn#nanami snores and hogs the blankets and wont let you change the tv chsnnels lmao#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami x reader#kento x reader#kento nanami x you#jjk fic#nanami kento drabble#jjk x reader#jjk x you#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#anime x reader#husband namami kento#soft nanami kento#nanami kento x y/n#nanami x you#nanami x reader#kento nanami#nanami kento#jujustu kaisen#kento x you#kento x y/n#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk nanami#jjk kento
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michael distortion what a goofy guy
#still experimenting with his design but i think i might be onto something#he’ll probably change in the future but for now there’s the boy#rattles him around in a jar#i have nothing more to offer but sketches#this week has really been kicking my ass#doodling tma to keep myself sane at this point#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#fanart#tma fanart#my art#digital art#doodle#sketch
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They have since left four premature babies to decompose on their beds. They have since kidnapped, stripped, tortured civilians and tried to frame them as Hamas fighters for their propaganda. They have since shot people at refugee camps execution style. They have since targeted academics and poets and directors. They have since killed 86 journalists. Still no ceasefire.
psa: i know that many of us did NOT doubt this for a second, neither did i. this is targeted at the people who educated themselves for the first time about this genocide and discovered the absolute horrific things that Israel is capable of doing to Palestinians, with the unwavering support of its allies.
#i rem clearly that video of the first hospital that was bombed#how israel first denied it and said that it was a failed hamas rocket#then it said it attacked the hospital because hamas was hiding in there#and i rem thinking that this would get every world leader outraged#that they would do everything to stop this genocide#that was too many weeks ago#nothing has changed#this should terrify us all#this could have been us in that hospital#in that house in that refugee camp in that ambulance in that street#nowhere is safe in Palestine#nowhere#free palestine#palestine#free gaza#gaza
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"Do you miss the time when you used to do no harm?"
Old habits.
Merc behaviour is based on a nice little comment @up-in-flames-writing left on one of my comics :)
Rambling and more silly drawings below.
Loosely based on the Solemn Vow's public blurb:
Art lovers will cherish the bust of Hippocrates, commemorating a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea.
I am absolutely convinced that Medic carries dextrose drops with him. German pharmacies throw these after you when you buy anything at all. I went to check if this one specific brand I know of had been around since the 60s and 70s and yes, it was.
Small acts of kindness I can see Medic doing is giving everyone one of these if they are tired. I'm talking about Engineer mostly.
Or they snack on them when solving practical problems together, like during the teleporter bread tumor incident.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 heavy#tf2 spy#tf2 archimedes#tf2 sniper#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#*Vaxx leans out of the head canon window with this one*#A lot going on in the second half; if it's hard to follow: I'm trying to contrast medic keeping candy in his office despite no kids around#against his disregard to the hippocratic oath/suggestion#Why would he keep doing this general-practicioner-core thing but not the bare necessity for keeping his medical license?#I want to convey that him losing his license was nothing surprising because#in his mind the oath was always ever a mere suggestion hence it wasn't actually a big change in his values#the punchline is that there's no contrast: keeping candy in the office is just as much of a habit as is not following the hippocratic oath#When I found out about the Solemn Vow's description text I spent minutes thinking about the implications behind that#Herr Doktor what happened in your life; did nothing happen at all; did you change or were you always like this and just came to realisation#what made you stop being wholesome and choose violence
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Polish Miku shows off her new hair
#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#vocaloid#my arts#that previous doodle blew up on twitter save me#I accidentally summoned over 7k people with that doodle#context- biedronka has been giving people over 1 meter long shopping receipts filled with nothing but vouchers and it's a meme now#her shirt is supposed to have number 5 on it but i changed it to 01
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chemistry teacher soap catches gym teacher simon fucking you in the bathroom during a school dance, tattooed hand over your mouth to muffle the pretty noises you make. he doesn’t think either of you notice, until those dark eyes turn on him, a slight tilt to his head in invitation.
soap decides he has a better way of keeping you quiet, stuffing his cock down your throat, enjoying the way you choke on it and the way simon tugs him forward to lick into his mouth, a hum of approval low in his throat.
#ghoap/reader is everything to me#they’re not one without the other and they’re nothing without you#ink by bambi#reader is a teacher btw you can be anything you want but i’m thinking english#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#ghost x you#ghost x reader#soap mactavish x you#soap mactavish x reader#ghoap x you#ghoap x reader#cod x you#cod x reader#simon riley imagine#soap mactavish imagine#simon riley smut#soap mactavish smut#cod smut#modern warfare imagine#modern warfare x reader#changing it from math to chem bc it fits him better i think
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#nothing has changed#palestine 🇵🇸#palestine#gaza#israeli war crimes#israel occupation#colonization#settler colonialism#imperialism#current events#social justice#human rights#free gaza#gaza genocide#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#save gaza#stand with gaza#gazaunderfire#fuck israel#anti zionisim#israel is a terrorist state#boycott israel#west bank#middle east#genocide#ethnic cleansing#free palastine#free palestine#freepalastine🇵🇸
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So it's okay when you go to other times, and you save people's lives, but not when it's me saving my dad.
DOCTOR WHO (2005 - ) I 1.08 - 14.01
#dwedit#doctor who#userveronika#timelordgifs#byaurore#usersugar#ajlooks#userallisyn#tuserpris#tuserrachel#userdiana#userkristi#alivedean#userelio#usereena#userzo#userrlaura#tusercora#tuserpolly#usergiu#athurpendragonns#userbecca#jemmablossom#tuserhan#useremu#ncuti gatwa#rose tyler#dw spoilers#we're gonna ignore the non aligned text please#i love season 1 because the lightning changes all the time let's go girl give us nothing
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I’m back with Covid and shitposts
If a bear I fought gave me top surgery I'd also never wear a shirt again tbh
#persona 3#makoto yuki#mitsuru kirijo#akihiko sanada#yukari takeba#minato arisato#junpei iori#bear giving Akihiko top surgery is canon and nothing will change my mind#persona 4 ultimax
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moonpaw and her sibling. hope they write her well! (sentence that has not panned out for many female characters)
#moonpaw's sibling has nothing where moonpaw has their markings#changing skies spoilers#moonpaw#moonpaw's sibling#warrior cats#my art
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my brother just called me late at night, barely able to get two words out because he was laughing so hard. Finally, through the wheezing, he told me “go google the new Gollum game. Please”
So I did. And now I just spent half an hour on the phone nearly dying. We just kept sending eachother pictures of Gollum from the game and LOSING IT all over again. I haven’t laughed this hard in YEARS.
#gollum game#lotr#jrrt and Christopher Tolkien are both rolling in their graves while I’m rolling on the floor#WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT#WHY IS IT SO FUNNY#DID A SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING REVIEW THIS BEFORE SHIPPING IT OUT#THIS IS GLORIOUS CHANGE NOTHING
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welcome to my Little Red Hood AU (where Jason doesn’t go through super puberty and the consequences of having stunted growth and still trying to be an intimidating crime lord)
In which the bats see a 5’4 crime lord and wonder who left their angry child unattended
The design is heavily Inspired by Juni Ba’s Boy wonder red hood who is the shortest of the older boys i was so delighted to see it and i desperately needed more. I also made him look a little more like how he did when he died :]
#bro’s 5’4 at 18 its so over for him…#he knows he needs to change methods cuz its NOT working but hes nothing if not stubborn#batman#dc comics#dc fanart#art#bat family#batfam#jason todd#red hood#robin#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#artists on tumblr#little red hood au#fan comic#bruce wayne#dc robin#juni ba boy wonder#juni ba#batfamily#batfam fanart
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you're like a seed, growing in everything 🍃
#leafie draws#personal#I tried to make this look like unfinished traditional art#because we're always changing and nothing is ever finished or something#idk#oc#leafie#tanuki
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