#and i might combine a few because i have less pages to work with than i thought

[ghostfiish]

Magical Girl Pokedex 0001 - Bulbasaur

Here I go starting a project I've wanted to work on for a while! I love pokémon and designing magical girls, so this seemed like a fun combo~ I plan to go through as much of Kanto as I can manage, starting of course with the very first in the dex, and my own starter of choice from Kanto 💚

[happyhauntt]

— april fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.

it's that time again! a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in april that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!

criminal minds.

➡ spencer reid.

in every other life by @irndad. notes: adorableness incarnate honestly.

trouble almost all my life series by @januaryembrs. notes: might honestly have to put this on every masterlist til the end of time.

forgiven by @reiding-writing. notes: um HOW DARE YOU i sobbed my way through this

grishaverse.

➡ kaz brekker.

breakfast by @sophierequests. notes: look i'm a simple human i see badass characters and i fall in love

➡ jesper fahey.

i'm your gal by @atlabeth. notes: NOT ENOUGH JESPER FICS and this one is GLORIOUS

star wars.

➡ poe dameron.

the f-word by @the-little-ewok. notes: i reread this constantly pls it's so good

moon knight.

➡ marc spector.

i should've been there by @januaryembrs. notes: not em out here ruining my life and making me sob AGAIN you simply never miss

9-1-1.

➡ evan buckley.

take my hand by @redocity. notes: cute cute cute cute cute

emergency room by redocity. notes: the ANGST i feel well-fed

won't say i'm falling by @borntobewondering. notes: this was DELICIOUS

➡ buck / eddie.

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz / rarakiplin on ao3. notes: i was fully choking back sobs while reading this. i binged this fic in less than 24 hours and it has changed something fundamental inside me. i will never be the same person again. i'm billing you for my therapy.

good luck, babe by @hattalove. notes: i cackled my way through this, potentially the funniest shit ever.

hate to say i spent it all on masquerades by hattalove. notes: i sobbed and sobbed and sobbed while reading this. this fic is everything to me, it should be required reading for all my friends who want to understand me, it is beautiful and magical and i want it tattooed on my face.

don't wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck / fleetinghearts on ao3. notes: sheer adorableness i will well recover from this!!!!

tried and true blue by shitouttabuck / fleetinghearts on ao3. notes: SCREAMING I'M SCREAMING I MAY NEVER STOP SCREAMING

like a dog with a bird at your door by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: iconic. truly iconic. quite possibly one of my fav fics ever written.

let the world have its way with you by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: you don't understand how hard it was not to include every single one of shitouttabuck's fics on this list and there will almost certainly be more in future but i just want them tattooed on my forehead i feel insane

i have dreams where i kiss you and it's pink by shitouttabuck / fleeting hearts on ao3. notes: the cutest and i mean THE CUTEST shit ever

all my shattered oaths by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: i sobbed. i sobbed so hard i think i burst something honestly. everything from this author is immaculate but THIS is the holy fuckin grail and i will truly never be the same again.

let my ink stain your pages by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: castle au CASTLE AU i'm a sucker for a castle au and this is EVERYTHING

even in winter there is eranthis by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: i think about this fic daily.

your love is an oil slick by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: this is everything this is EVERYTHING to me i will reread this weekly for the rest of my life

even the darkest night by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: stardust au STARDUST AU aka my favourite movie and my favourite ship combined into a fuckin masterpiece

curl up in my heart and let me keep you by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels on ao3. notes: soft sweet my brain is mushy and i adore this

hoping it gets to you by @bucktommys / hammersmiths on ao3. notes: cute adorable stunning MAGNIFICENT

you're my whole house by @/bucktommys / hammersmiths on ao3. notes: THIS FIC OUT HERE MAKIN ME SQUEAL AND KICK MY LEGS

left unsaid by c_m2 on ao3. notes: this is mcfuckin adorable i'm crying buck deserves everything in the world

say yes to heaven by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: okay full disclosure this made me cry so much i threw up. also it hit some pretty intense trauma for me. still so glad i read it because it was also kinda healing. and i want everyone else to suffer like i have because fuck i suffered.

if i need to rearrange my particles, i will for you by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: author you will always be famous bc you're knocking my emotional stability OUTTA THE PARK

honestly, truly, completely by dylaesthetics on ao3. notes: simply fuckin adorable

feels like magic by 42hrb on ao3. notes: there's nothing i adore more than an urban fantasy au and this one is EXQUISITE

fallin' into your ocean eyes by princessfbi on ao3. notes: okay every part of this au is absolutely fuckin perfection i am so deeply in love with it

until now by tearsthissideofheaven on ao3. notes: a reincarnation au??? it's like you know how to ruin my life

if i never hear your voice again by @actualalligator. notes: disability rep!!!! brilliant writing!!!!

life sure can try to put love through it by @capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: ahahaha ruin my life why don't you

sometimes its hard to see what the future holds by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: olympics buddie au??? didn't know i wanted it but now i can't live without it

all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: i will, in fact, devour every buddie!fwb au ever written but this one is especially great

you smiled and it was the most beautiful thing that I'd ever seen by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: coffee shop!buddie have become everything to me wdym

it's funny 'cause i've always dreamed of me and you by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: yes i did sob my heart out reading this and i'll do it again

'cause darling, you're the one by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: icymi i think this author is the best author to ever exist and i want to devour everything they write forever

i don't think that we should have friendly sex, anymore by @/capseycartwright / wafflesofdoom on ao3. notes: !!!!!!! that's it that's the note. brain: faye you can't put this many fics by the same author on one masterlist. faye: bET-

still i call it magic (when i'm next to you) by @clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: urban fantasy is, in fact, my shit.

(this kiss is) something i can't resist by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: NO BC THIS HAD ME CACKLING AND ALSO IT'S BRILLIANT

give me five more minutes, baby (i'm not finished loving you) by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: fake dating or immaculate writing??? both

cuffing season by @/clusterbuck / lecornergirl on ao3. notes: i am still laughing at this and i may never stop

[grimaussiewitch]

Life series alliances and enemies I want to see!

(BIG DISCLAIMER: All of the people in the life series are friends and will choose what happens in an improvised series, me wanting two people to be rivals like Renchanting vs The sand hippies doesn’t mean I want them to hate each other in real life, this is a for fun post as season 6 is coming very soon)

Alliances:

Grian and BigB: They have gotten close a few times but never a long series alliance. I really love their friendship and I want to see them team together more than one episode.

Mumbo and Scar: I loved how they were in early episodes of secret life, a long series alliance would be so cool, especially if Mumbo last longer.

Scott and Tango: We’ve only seen bits and pieces of these two but I think it would be interesting. Some people have been rude about these two teaming so there’s a bit of spite in there too. I just think it would be cool to see.

Cleo and Jimmy: Even less interactions. Why these two? I don’t know, I think they would make a great alliance. Probably best work with a third person so I shall suggest Pearl or Bdubs here.

Ren and Scott: I am not over third and last life with these two. I don’t want them as enemies or fighting to the death, I want to see Ren and Scott be allies. Be bros. I want to see theatre kid Ren with Scott okay?

Lizzie and Etho: Sorry Joel, your wife is teaming with your ex-soulmate.

Joel and Pearl: Please please please please please- I just think they would be neat :3

Scott and Joel: While I really want Joel to take Scott’s final life, I would 100% down with these two teaming. What a great alliance it would be to be with the guy you tried to kill multiple times! In other words, I think it would be funny for me. That’s the most important thing.

Any combination of Skizz, Mumbo and Lizzie: Our guys that weren’t in double life, I need these three to interact more okay?

Martyn and Grian: I know someone asked Martyn to make a one side homoerotic relationship with Grian next season but I would be so down for a team up. Yeah yeah they were in Southlands together but I want just them as a duo.

Ren and Martyn: “hey didn’t they already team?” Yes and? I have been waiting for so long for these two to talk again and Ren might not be in this season again. I don’t have any evidence to say he won’t but I’m not getting my hopes up again.

Lizzie and Pearl: We got a taste of these two in secret life and I think they would have a solid alliance. Plus red life with these two? Two wet cats with a taste for blood? Sign me the fuck up.

Enemies:

Pearl and Gem: “uwu wouldn’t it be so cool if they were together and pearl helped gem win?” Fuck no. I want blood. I want them at each other’s throat. I want Pearl to actively take Gem’s final life. You had murder camel, let me see these two fight to the death okay? Fuck an alliance I want murder and death.

Martyn and Tango: Watchful eyes would see that over the seasons Martyn and Tango have a sort of rivalry or at the very least Tango is bullied/teased by Martyn. Rarely have they been on the same page. Therefore, I want them to be official enemies.

Tango and Skizz: I don’t want them to be actual rivals, it just would be nice for Skizz and Tango to branch out from each other as they have teamed in every season besides third and double life. Being rivals is a treat.

Impulse and Skizz: Same as above but more because they are best friends, I would love to see them tease each other lol.

Pearl and BigB: I don’t think this would happen but it would be something new. Especially how Pearl wanted BigB to win limited life when they were the nosey neighbours.

Scott and Joel: Pretty please take Scott’s final life I love the guy but I need Joel to do it please please please-

Ren and Martyn: Yes I want them to be alliances again but enemies? Oh? Oh ho? We had a taste of this with last life’s final four battle royal and Martyn confirming that he was always going to betray Ren. I need to see that.

Bdubs and Etho: Purely for the angst <3

Mumbo and Grian: I love these two so much but proper rivals would go so hard. Bonus if Scar is teamed with one of them lmao.

Impulse and Bdubs: It won’t be brought up but I think the clock grudge lasting all the way to season 6 would be funny as hell.

Bdubs and Joel: Short.

Cleo and literally anyone: She is very scary as an enemy not in a “Cleo would beat your ass” she couldn’t, but in a “they will hurt you with words”

Anyway who do you want as allies or enemies in season 6?

[being-of-rain]

With the help of around 3 days of combined travel time to and from my girlfriends house, I've finished another EDA!

The remaining 20 or so installments in the series are a combination of books I've heard about and am really excited to get to, and books I haven't heard anything about and so am less excited for. Hope by Mark Clapham was definitely one of the latter category. I didn't know what to expect, and at first it didn't inspire much confidence in me. It's whole premise seemed to be that it was set in a bleak, gritty dystopian city, and the first few scenes having Anji being sad about her ex-boyfriend (who had died 10 novels ago now) and a tired police detective who spent too much time sleeping in his office did not do much to win me over. But, surprisingly, winning me over is exactly what it managed to do.

Firstly, the Tardis team is actually kept together for the majority of the novel. That's a real rarity for the EDAs (or Classic Who in general), and a real treat for me. Every time the characters were slightly separated in the first few chapters I thought Here we go. But they kept sticking together. They even found a place to stay the night together. Unheard of, revolutionary.

Secondly, Hope, the titular bleak and dangerous city, actually gets some pretty good worldbuilding - or at least enough to feel like more of a place people live than just a cobbled together collection of dark cyberpunk and post-apocalyptic cliches. And it gets a happy, hopeful ending too (something that I know I shouldn't be too surprised about in Doctor Who, but I guess I'm always braced for something more edgy from the Wilderness Years novels I don't know much about.)

And thirdly, I think the author really got the three main characters, and wanted to give them lots of opportunities (big and small) to shine. Anji felt a lot more defined than a lot of her other appearances, being the main emotional core of this book. She was sort of past missing her boyfriend, her emotions mostly burnt out on that front, but now just felt like it was something unfinished, unresolved. I'm glad she got this story to work through that.

Fitz had the least focus of the three leads, but still felt perfectly written whenever he turned up. It was very fun to watch him have some very Fitz moments, and also do things like investigate a dangerous cyborg cult as a subplot and casually cause a religious schism in it over the course of about a page.

Finally, I was obsessed with the way the book depicted the Doctor. He can't finely control his bodily functions anymore, he can't get through sleepless nights (without far too much coffee) anymore, and he has even has a scar of some sort on his chest. There's a chase in the middle of the book that might be my favourite scene, because the Doctor pursues a killer down a giant structure of metal girders supporting a city and over a frozen wasteland, and it wears him out entirely. The whole time he's thinking about how he used to be able to do this sort of physical activity with no problem, but now he feels every scrape and jolt and extra yard he has to run. It takes everything in him to catch and knock out his quarry, and then he falls unconscious himself immediately after. This idiot is basically human now and he is not dealing with it well.

Though considering how well the book follows up Henrietta Street in that way, it's interesting that it regularly refers to Anji travelling with the Doctor for a 'few months'. The book apparently didn't get the memo that the team lived in 1782 for... well, the majority of 1782, and some of 1783 on top. Still, I liked the continuity of the Doctor growing a beard in Adventuress, keeping it in Mad Dogs, and shaving it just before Hope. I also liked the Doctor pushing the Tardis as far into the future as he could, but then saying he felt disconcerted about landing in a place after the Earth has gone, now that he's bound to it.

So I ended up really enjoying Hope, and the way it let the characters lead the story. Next novel is... Anachrophobia, which I think is one I've heard good things about! Maybe, I can't remember. But I'm looking forward to it anyway, if nothing else because of the cool title and the cool cover. Oh and it's the first novel I've read by Jonathan Morris too! I won't hold that against it.

[woodpengu]

This is a 'Mindful Monday' kind of ramble... Is long; but we're not apologizing.

I have a condition that extends healing time considerably. From this comes a learning experience that is never-ending [sometimes the tone is exhaustive, but this time it's informative].

Anyone under the pressure of complex trauma or many comorbidities/disorders might relate to the frustrating cycle of getting a toe forward only to feel like one's instantly propelled leagues backwards. Or the overwhelming strain that comes up every time one attempts to "keep up with the times" only to burn out seconds after launch. Or taking in the panoramic view of all the steps it'll take to recover and the nervous system shutting down before taking a step forward.

I spend more time in decompression than in progression and idling in neutral [combined]. Or, at least, it feels that way. With all the physiological and psychological conditions that, often, can - and do - trigger each other into a devastating spiral, precision and patience are key practices in getting through the lows. And since there's only one professional I feel I can really count on at this time, there's a lot of trial-and-error coping-mechanism-building going on. So, there's a few keys I've learned over the years thanks to this, things I remind myself that genuinely help reset my nervous system:

As cliche as it sounds, remember to breathe. Taking a pause to breathe deliberately can be like walking through a doorway. Slow the breath. Elongate the breath. Soften the breath. Take literal control of the breathing mechanism and manipulate it to emulate a relaxed state. Leading to...

Trick the nervous system into 'rest and digest' (parasympathetic response) by playing opossum. Can't think our way out of this one; this has to be done by physically relaxing tension, starting small and working through the body. Intentional, careful movements that soften tissues and open joints. Gradual shifts - extending/flexing fingers/toes; rolling shoulders, wrists, ankles, and hips; swaying the neck from side to side; wiggling playfully.

Check posture. Back rounded? Engage the core muscles, tilt the pelvis, drop and pull back the shoulders. Neck tension? Stack the neck vertebrae - don't jut your chin forward. Tight leg muscles? Lunge or horse stance for a bit. Bad posture = poor biomechanics = imbalanced tension = prone to injury/illness.

Willpower is hard when the pressure is on; prioritize what matters and leave the rest. Just because something is good to do doesn't mean it'll always be easy to do. Exerting the will to do something good for health and future self will pay off long-term. Brush, floss, and rinse. Take the shower when gooey-feel is high. Nibble something so taking meds for discomfort won't lead to more sicky. Exert the will to take care of present self so future self struggles less when future becomes present. Get the momentum going.

Operate off of inspiration rather than desperation. How we feel is a determining factor in momentum. Record the idea in the moment it comes up, follow through when time and energy allow. The only one who has the right to punish you for a lack of follow-through or response is you... because you're the only one that knows the full extension of your own circumstances. Everyone/thing else can wait... or they can walk. Let them.

Acknowledge the wins, no matter how small. Observe the bigger picture from the point of injury, illness, surgery, accident, or other significant reference... and pin the overall improvements. Always nod to the encouraging details. It's not toxic positivity to point at something and say, "Look at what I did right; look at how far we've come; it's good to feel joy about this." I walked a mile without needing rest. I wrote a page in a flow state. I remembered to water the plants. I ate when I was hungry instead of waiting until I was starving. I let myself feel angry and then let myself work through the anger instead of burying my feelings. I was honest with myself/another about what I needed in the moment.

This list will likely get added to over time. But these are the things I've learned for 30 days, practiced for 30 days, and adjusted to suit me for 30 days before choosing to share my experience (another lesson definitely worth applying in order to avoid being a misinforming fool). I'm not telling anyone what to do or how to live. This is my way of sharing something that has been working for me with the thought that someone else might be able to benefit and adjust it to themselves.

Take care and may gentleness frequent your sphere.

[otmaaromanovas]

Hey. I was wondering what your favourite books about OTMA/The Romanovs are? I have read quite a few and I’m looking for new recommendations. I love your posts btw :)

Hiya! Thanks for your question.

As you said you have read quite a few books about the Romanovs and want new recommendations, I'll try and think of some of the less common/more obscure books I've read, which I don't see talked about too much!

Once a Grand Duchess by John van der Kiste and Coryne Hall

Admittedly, this book sometimes reads like a long wikipedia page, but has some very interesting information on Xenia Alexandrovna. If you are interesting in the British royal family and their history, the second half of the book has some great info on Xenia's stay at Frogmore Cottage and Hampton Court

The False Anastasia by Pierre Gilliard and Constantine Savitch

Written half by Gilliard and half by Savitch, it combines some of Pierre Gilliard's memories of Anastasia and the Romanovs with debunking the Anna Anderson myth. Some great work here on Anderson's actual identity. However, I will warn you straight away that if you do get this book in its English translation, the translator Edgar A. Lucidi is VERY antisemitic. Throughout the book, he goes to great pains to try and say that Anastasia survived, and has a whole preface about it, including photos of him posing with a pretender. It's frustrating and insulting, especially when he makes actual notes in the text trying to 'debunk' Gilliard and Savitch's writing. I'm recommending this book purely because of what Pierre Gilliard and Constantine Savitch have written, which is very interesting and revealing. If you can read French (I definitely can't!) it's worth getting the original.

Tutor to the Tsarevich by John C. Trewin and Charles Sydney Gibbes

This book is FANTASTIC and really underrated! It's more of a coffee table format, with plenty of photos, but has some really fantastic information. It has a lot of Gibbes' original writings and reflections, published for the first time I believe. Some great anecdotes about Tobolsk and some rare photos of Gibbes and his life after the Romanovs.

The Romanovs & Mr Gibbes: The Story of the Englishman Who Taught the Children of the Last Tsar by Frances Welsh

This book focusses on the life of Charles Sydney Gibbes, later known as Father Nicholas, who was the English tutor to the children. Although it is definitely not as good as Tutor to the Tsarevich, it provides an interesting picture of Gibbes' life. It's quite short, and focusses a lot more on Gibbes than the Romanovs, but is worth a read if you're interested in the tutors of OTMAA.

A Few Years Before the Catastrophe by Sofia Ivanovna Tyutcheva, translated by George Hawkins

This book is *TINY* so you might be better served getting the online kindle edition rather than actually buying it. Sofia, or 'Savanna' as OTMA called her, was a nanny to the children from 1906-1912, before being dismissed by Alix for disagreements over Rasputin and the raising of the children. As I said, the book itself is very short, but paints an interesting picture especially of Ernst of Hesse and Nicholas' personalities. There are some fun anecdotes about OTMA, but not too many. The reason I recommend this book is because I am currently reading Anna Vyrubova's memoirs and she goes on a four page rant about poor Savanna, saying that she was a traitor and sold out Nicky and Alix. Reading Savanna's recollections almost entirely prove this wrong.

The Camera and the Tsars: The Romanov Family in Photographs by Charlotte Zeepvat

This book is BEAUTIFUL! Anything Charlotte Zeepvat writes is worth buying in my opinion. But this book especially... *chef's kiss*. It has so much detail about the whole of the Romanov family, and is mainly in picture form with detailed captions and text too. The photos are high quality. A great overview of the whole of the Romanov family and its many branches.

The Grand Duchesses: Daughters & Granddaughters of Russia's Last Tsars

This book is comprised of multiple different biographies about Romanov Grand Duchesses and princesses over a span of about 200 years. It is very unique in focussing entirely on the women in the Romanov family. There are a couple of errors in it, but nothing too awful. Great if you want to dive in and learn about some of the Grand Duchesses that came before (and after) OTMA.

‘After that we wrote.’: A Reconsideration of the Lives of Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia Nikolaevna Romanova, 1895-1918 by Althea Thompson

The last recommendation isn't a book, but a thesis written for their Master's Degree, and focusses entirely on OTMA. It's fascinating, with plenty of great sources sprinkled in. It looks to re-examine how historians have viewed OTMA and aims to create an accurate picture of their daily lives. It's a long academic read, but has fantastic information. You can read it here.

I hope this was helpful! I probably missed out some great gems, but these are the first ones that come to mind which are less common :)

[the---hermit]

30|01|2023

My months of rest and relaxation // day 83

This morning I woke up pretty early, because I had a pretty early therapy session. It was actually nice to go so early, maybe it's just a morning person thing, but for some reason I really enjoyed it. It was also really helpful to reflect on the stuff I am working on at the moment, and I stuggled less than I had anticipated to open up. I want to get back into journaling, because in the past few months I fell out of the habit and now that I'd need that I am really struggling to pick it up again. I am a bit blocked and intimidated to sit with my thoughts. To make it a bit easier I took some time to use my journal to be creative and have fun, and it came really natural, so maybe I should combine the reflection with something more creative to help me out at the moment. I just blased my feel good playlist (which is very simply an All Time Low playlist, because their music for some reason always helps me mentally/emotionally and energizes me at the same moment) and wrote down lyrics all over two pages in different coulours. It's an absolute mess with words going in all directions and on top of each other but it was weirdly liberating, I might do that again in the future.

Productvity:

changed the lightbulb of the small lamp on my nightstand

help my dad fix the entrance door

continued reading The Marriga Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell

Self care:

therapy session

journaled

blasted my feel good playlist as much as I could

[birlwrites]

Helloo!! Uve sometimes described barty as potentially being a romantic partner to regulus and so i was wondering what made u choose evan to be his love interest in ttdl instead? I think u also mentioned the possibility of them being polyamorous and so in what scenario do u see that happening (in the ttdl universe or a whole other one)

Have a great day!!!

okay SO

there are a few reasons that regulus/barty does not happen in atfhv and most of them are supports to the real reason which is that i think best friends are SO underutilized as central pairs of characters. i've read a shitload of works centered around regulus and sirius, and a shitload of works centered around regulus and a romantic partner, and i have also written a bunch of these! like they're everywhere! and there's no inherent problem with that, but i think that with a familial or romantic relationship, the question of 'why us' becomes much simpler and less interesting

so ig the short answer to your question is: it was more about choosing for barty to *not* be regulus's love interest than it was about choosing evan to be

also [insert rant about regulus not often having his own friends in fic]

but as for why i did choose evan!! aghslgkjdhf i'm going to have to do a lot of tracing of my thought process because regulus and evan as a pairing just feels SO intuitive and obvious to me now, but the fact remains that when i got into it the tag was TINY. so like. how did those neurons fire in my brain?

i think it started with survived by, which was the first fic i wrote in which evan really played a role - barty's always had a pretty set personality and vibe in my head, so evan was an opportunity to play around and make someone up. i didn't proceed directly from there to rosewater - there was a period of time when i was experimenting with a few different ships, notably blaise zabini's mom and The Forbidden Jegulus Fic, and i'm looking at my warmups document right now (which is where most of my stories start before they hit ~10 pages and i decide they merit their own documents) and rosewater just sPRINGS INTO EXISTENCE on page 11. so those neurons may continue to be a mystery

but i think generally speaking, to answer 'why evan,' it's because the persona i gave him complements regulus's personality in a very different way from how barty does. they're playing the same game in very different ways, and of all the characters in ttdl, the two of them have the strongest facades.

regulus is very guarded and has a role he's decided to play, and evan just has Massive Fucking Secrets, including a role that was decided for him, but regardless - the process of the two of them growing close enough to develop and then EXPRESS vulnerable feelings is so intense/demanding in a way that it wouldn't be for any other combination of people, because literally any other combination of people would be slightly less hidden away. even them + barty in a triad would be less closed off b/c barty

in the ttdl universe i'm very attached to aro barty, which doesn't prevent there being polyamory but does affect the shape of it - i do think that at any given time the probability of regulus and barty being life partners is basically 100% though. in my head they always have a life together, unless it's like, stga aghshgljkdf, so then the question becomes how does evan factor in, and the answer is 'yes'

like they're very much a trio in my mind - the specific dynamics might change but in terms of the future, almost regardless of universe (rip stga), i envision the three of them together in some way

[erin-bo-berin]

Couple of things in response to your anon queries over the last few days:

- Joe’s playing a prominent recurring character in Fargo. He’s Gator Tillman, the son of the main character, corrupt sheriff Roy Tillman (John Hamm). You’ll be getting more than one episode, don’t worry about that! Also - and I’m sorry if you already know this, but just to clarify- it’s not set in 2019, not the old west. I think people got the cowboy idea because Noah Hawley wrote an (excellent) article for The Atlantic called “It’s High Noon in America,” which was both a political commentary, and a reflection on how entertainment contributes to issues like distrust of authority by creating heroes who go against the system etc. In it, he shared a sample of S5 dialogue between Roy and Gator, which mentioned “high noon”:

Gator: “I swear to God, him versus me, man to man, and I'd wipe the floor with him.”

Roy: “What, like high noon? That only happens in the movies, son. In real life they slit your throat waiting for the light to change.”

I mean, Joe might still be playing a cowboy-ish type character if he works on a ranch I suppose? But as far as I know, there’s nothing to suggest that’s the case.

- Joe is well positioned to have a great career after ST ends. I’m a bit puzzled as to why anyone’s concerned for him to be honest! Free Guy was very well received and many reviews specifically mentioned Joe’s charm and his lovely chemistry with Jodie. One critic even said - and I quote - “Joe Keery proves he’s going to be just fine when Stranger Things ends.” Add to that, although Spree was controversial, it was still received more positive reviews than less glowing ones (thanks, tomatometer), and even negative reviews of the film praised Joe’s performance.

So that’s recent history. Looking at his current work, he has two films in the can, is currently filming Fargo, then starts Cold Storage, and then in 2024 goes back to filming ST. The guy is as busy as an actor could hope for. Going forward, even if none of the films make an impact (and that’s a big ‘if’, because I suspect Cold Storage at least is going to do very well), Fargo will raise his profile even higher than it already is.

Oh, and then there’s his music. We all know he’s genuinely talented in that regard, and so do the critics. But he’s deliberately flown under the radar with it, and so many people are missing out. Djo doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page for crying out loud. Maya Hawke, who has less than a third of the Spotify listeners Djo has, has a wiki page for each album! No hate for Maya - her stuff’s not my thing but it’s cool. I just think Joe’s music manager (who’s different to his acting one) is sleeping on that front.

Sorry for the Joe Keery essay. I’m just a huge supporter because he’s so talented, and is also genuinely lovely. People who’ve worked with him want to do it again, in large part because of his personality. We know the combination of those traits is what changed the trajectory of his character in ST, which was a remarkable thing in of itself. David Harbour, Brett Gelman, and Kevin Pollack have all pointed out how unusual it was, and praised both Joe and the Duffer Bros for it. It’s kind of refreshing to see someone in Hollywood getting rewarded for being a decent person, in addition to having acting abilities.

Joe deserves every success. Long may it continue!

Oh wow thanks for all the info! I’ve never seen Fargo but man I will happily watch it to see him in it.

I’m so excited for him in Cold Storage. I ended up reading the book after someone on here told me it was actually a book first and Joe is just gonna nail the character. Teacake is such a loveable dork lol

I agree though! He’s been doing so good even without ST fame. He’s gotten some big projects coming up and a handful at that. Also his music to keep him busy too and it really is such a shame that his music is so underrated because his music really is so good 🥺

[v171]

My year in books, 2022

It's that exciting time of year where I get to go into too much detail about all of the books I read this year, so strap in for a lot of stats observations, ranting, and not enough gushing.

This wasn't a great reading year for me. Not only did I not read as much as I would have liked (40 books compared to last years 50, and 2020's 60), but I also just didn't like as many books as I usually do.

I do a combination of pulling Goodreads books stats, The Story Graph book stats, and my own book tracking that I'll get into. Let's start high level.

Recitatif was only 19 pages?? I don't think that's right. But Oathbringer is definitely right. I think it took me over a month to finish.

I'll probably repeat myself here, but in an effort to achieve my goal of 40 books while I dragged my feet all year, I kind of loaded up on very short books. So my average book length of 334 makes sense, but would probably be a bit bigger had I had actually just picked up books I wanted to read rather than books just to pad my numbers.

Station Eleven being most shelved?? That was a bit of a surprise considering I read Oathbringer and some other literary heavy hitters like Recitatif, and the Earthsea trilogy. Least shelved being Infinite Ground perhaps makes sense. It's a niche book in a niche genre, but I really loved it. I think I would have expected some others to be a bit less popular, like The Silence or Enter The Aardvark.

Average rating of 3.5.. hmm yeah I guess. My ratings tend to be a bit weighted towards the higher stars because I simply stop reading a book when I don't like it, and I don't rate books I don't finish so I have few 1 and 2 star ratings.

Always impressed by the insanely high ratings Sanderson books get on Goodreads.

HOBOY The Poppy War, I completely forgot I read this first this year. Looking back at my review of this book, I was way too gentle and forgiving for the complete shit that it is.

I still find it interesting how my audiobook/physical divide has shifted over the years, largely due to COVID since I don't listen to them in the car anymore. But I'd have expected, working from home, I would have listened to more audiobooks while I worked. But with the shift in my kind of work, it has become harder to listen to anything while I work these days.

5 Books by Becky Chambers! Yeah that makes sense considering I pushed through her Wayfarer books and picked up the Tea Monk and Robot sequel. Damn I love her books, what a fuckin GOAT. I'm actually surprised there were so many authors on this list, I don't know that I typically read books by the same author in rapid succession, but it was my "Year of Series," so it's now wholly unexpected to have many repeat authors this year.

I would like to try to read more nonfiction next year, but we'll see. This year was supposed to be the Year of Series, and I think I did a good enough job with that, but I could have done better and I really shouldn't make promises that I don't plan on keeping to myself.

This tracks. First and foremost, I'm a SFF girly. Contemporary Fiction being 3rd I GUESS makes sense, but I tend to dump books under that genre when I'm just not quite sure how to classify them.

As expected, ratings are skewed high, but I'm still surprised about how clean of a skew it is. I do think I might have been a bit generous with some of those 4 star ratings though, I have a bad habit of feeling guilty about rating books kinda low. My 4 star rating is supposed to mean "I really liked this book," and thinking back holistically, I don't think there were a lot of books this year that I "really liked." So I'm probably just a liar.

I love these rating breakdown graphs because they really illustrate my preference for genres. I am such a slut for science fiction, I read more 5 star SF that I read books in most other genres. Also interesting to see here that I didn't seem to have a great Fantasy reading year. Mostly 1s, 2s, and 3s.

This breakdown looks like it confirms what I want to be true: that by ratings aren't really biased by book length. I like to think I allow the story to influence my attitudes alone rather than get bogged down with how long it is, unlike some people who live in the same house as me who instantly drops a star rating for every page over 100.

I like this breakdown chart too because I like to look for pattern in my attitude during the year. Doesn't look like there's a lot to observe here other than the fact that I didn't read at all in September and most of October (was traveling out of the country for half of Sept. and catching up on work in October). But again, I also didn't read as much as I usually do this year, so maybe a pattern would emerge with more data. August looks like a funny hot-and-cold month with the books being almost evenly split between 2 and 4/5 stars.

This shows a bit more about the book/page breakdown and how you can see how much I overemphasized shorter books toward the end of the year. You can basically track where I decided to pick up some epic fantasy books (January-Jade City and Poppy War, May-Oathbringer), where the pages exceed the expected number of books, and the opposite months where the number of books exceed the expected number of pages per book (April, November, December). You can basically see me panic to finish the 40 books in November/December where I was averaging 100-150 page books so I could hit my goal. I hate feeling rushed, I need to be more disciplined about it.

And that's basically it! To wrap up, here's all the books I read this year. I'll have a few more posts to make about some of the specific books I read, loved, hated, or otherwise had some strong emotions about.

[douxlen]

The Power and Potential of Gene Tuning

New Post has been published on https://douxle.com/2024/08/14/the-power-and-potential-of-gene-tuning/

The Power and Potential of Gene Tuning

After a lifetime in the field of epigenetics, and nearly 20 years after my colleagues and I coined the term “genome editing,” I will be the first to admit that describing the “epigenome”—a marvelous biological process that guides what our genes do—takes a bit of explaining. I find that thinking about the genome and epigenome in terms of music and sound-mixing can be helpful here.We experience all sorts of music as we go through life, from Bach and Brahms to Laufey and Lizzo. It is remarkable that you can do so many different things musically from just a few basic components. You have a defined set of notes, which can be played separately or together in an enormous number of combinations and time signatures. Those notes can be played at different volumes—some louder, some softer. And finally, those same notes can have different textures. The note of A as played on a violin sounds very different when played by a distorted, death-metal guitar. Each has the same number of vibrations per unit time, but our experience of them is not the same at all.

 So now, let’s turn to genes. Humans have around 20,000 of them—which is not many more than the total number of genes in a fruit fly. Initial estimates were far higher, at around 120,000, because we thought that more genes are needed to make more complicated organisms. Our thinking was wrong. The wondrous complexity we observe emerges out of combinations of genes, functioning with a certain order and timing—rather than all of your genes doing “everything, everywhere, all at once.” Our body consists of several hundred different cell types (red blood cell, skin fibroblast, neuron), and about 8,000 genes in a given human cell come together, each at a specific volume, timing, and texture to bring it to life. Scientists call this gene “expression”—a term aptly borrowed from the arts. What coordinates it?Consider a music score for a song—whether it’s Taylor Swift’s Love Story or Schubert’s Message of Love. In both, you would see notes on a musical stave, with specific markings for rhythm, volume, and pitch. For our genome, every four bars of music would be accompanied by four pages of guidance on how to play them correctly. Scientists have discovered that in addition to 20,000 genes, our genome contains about 3 million sets of instructions on how to express them (akin to dials on a soundboard); together, these cover a quarter of human DNA. Our body contains about 40 trillion cells and in each one the genes are expressing themselves in a distinct way (a blood cell makes different proteins than a liver cell than a lung cell). And now think of setting each dial on a soundboard to the exact position you need for the music to sound like Swift or like Schubert. The epigenome is the total set of “dial settings” for all the genes that are expressed in a given human cell and give it its biological identity.

Health from harmony, disease from distortion

On a fundamental level, health (or the lack of it) is created and maintained through a kind of epigenomically-mediated harmony.If you’ve ever heard a beginning violinist working through a simple piece, you’ll know it’s sonically grating. We hear the lack of harmony, and it’s painful.

But what is lack of harmony? It could simply be the wrong note played at the wrong time. But it can also arise from a failure of coordination. Any time you have more than one instrument on stage, if they’re not coherent (you might picture a middle-school orchestra, here), it just hurts.

Music can also be ruined when the relative volumes within it are wrong. (“Why are the drums so loud in this mix? We need less vocal and more bass!”) In music, it seems intuitive to us that the various notes and instruments must come together at the correct volumes, and in the right rhythm. And so it is with gene expression in relation to health and disease.

Read More: The Gene-Editing Revolution Is Already Here

We have had access to the complete, human genome sequence since 2003. Our DNA is long; reading one letter of human DNA per second, it would take you a century to read the whole genome. Think 500 textbooks, stacked one atop the other. Now imagine reading different versions of that text—each unique to different people and populations, and asking: where are the genes that make us sick? Where are the genes that lead to heart attacks, or irritable bowel syndrome?As it turns out, many of the genetic signatures that cause us to develop such common and degenerative conditions are not actually located inside the genes themselves.

Now if that statement inspires some confusion, then you are not alone. We scientists were just as confused at first. But what we’ve essentially figured out is this: Few of the common diseases we suffer from—be they cardiovascular, autoimmune, or neurodegenerative—are the direct result of broken or defective genes (or keeping within our musical metaphor, broken or defective instruments). The pianos are fine. The guitars are fine. They are simply being played in the wrong way.

Conducting the orchestra of gene expression

Soon after the first sequence of the human genome was determined, scientists started a large effort to compare DNA between individuals with and without certain diseases. This approach—called a Genome-Wide Association Study (or GWAS) has been applied thousands of times for every imaginable human trait difference, including whether someone is a “morning person” or whether a given individual is likely to get celiac disease. What these studies found was this: susceptibility to practically every, major, non-infectious disease rarely lies in the genetic “notes” themselves. Rather, about 90% of it lies in the instructions of how to play those notes.

Armed with this knowledge—and empowered by the development of CRISPR-based proteins that can edit both genome and epigenome—scientists across academia and industry have been racing toward the goal of a new class of genetic medicines. Medicines that can help patients retune the ill-timed notes or imbalanced volumes leading to disease.

The basic idea is this: if discord of gene expression leads to disease, could we not simply re-tune this orchestra of gene output to restore harmony in health?

We have a strong “yes” as an answer in the recent development of a cure for sickle cell disease. This medicine does not involve repairing the mutation that causes the disease –a mutation that breaks a gene that makes oxygen-carrying hemoglobin in our red blood cells. Instead, guided by a GWAS for genetic variants that protect against this disease, scientists figured out how to “wake up” a gene called fetal hemoglobin that normally goes silent after birth. In this work—a collaboration between Dr. Stuart Orkin, scientists at the University of Washington, and a group led by myself—altering one of the epigenetic switches in the “symphony” of how our body makes hemoglobin restored health to sickle red blood cells. In fact, to date, this has helped over 50 persons living with sickle cell disease!

Where this really gets exciting is that there are a vast number of diseases like this— in which otherwise healthy genes are being played at the wrong volume, at the wrong time, or in the wrong combinations. For each of these, we can move the sliders to shift the timing, volume, and texture of what each individual gene “sounds” like. And critically, we can do it without having to rewrite the music.

Gene tuning for common, chronic, and severe disease

The emergence of this new transformative therapeutic power begs the question: what are the areas of most need, and how could we put this to the best, possible use?It makes sense for the first focus to be on severe disease.  Take, for example, someone with devastatingly high cholesterol, at a high risk of early death from cardiovascular disease. If they do not respond to the usual medications, what are we to do? And what of chronic viral infections like Hepatitis B, for which there are treatments, but no effective cure? What options are there for those who face a lifetime of liver disease, a high risk of liver cancer, and no long-term prospects beyond liver transplant?

Read More: How Gene Editing Could Help Solve the Problem of Poor Cholesterol

 Could we just remove a gene, rip out the page wholesale? Yes. I’m a gene editor, and I firmly believe that gene editing has the potential to cure hundreds, if not thousands of rare, single-gene diseases—a potential recently demonstrated in several clinical trials. But I will be the first to admit that once you have gene-edited somebody, you’re done. There is no way back—you are gene-edited for life. If you are facing an otherwise untreatable condition, you might be fine with that. But for those with partly manageable conditions like high cholesterol or chronic viral infection, there may be less enthusiasm in some folks for this all-or-nothing approach.

With gene tuning, we can place an X mark over a precise part of the music score and say, “Don’t play this.” You can turn this gene up, turn that gene down, and observe the hoped-for benefit. And if something goes awry you can – at least in principle – reverse the effects.Besides the potential benefit of reversibility, gene tuning also offers control over duration of effect. For example, a remarkable new wave of cancer treatments has emerged recently from work by physicians and scientists at the University of Pennsylvania in which the patient’s own immune system cells are reprogrammed to attack a blood cancer. Once they have done their job, you may want those same cells to calm down and return to standby mode—lest they cause collateral damage through their persistent (albeit well-intentioned) hyperactivity. Gene tuning is built for precisely this kind of nuance, allowing you to raise or lower the volume of one or more genes gradually, or for a fixed, desired duration of time.

Same tune, less cowbell

Beyond this, there is another reason why gene tuning could transform the application of genetic medicine. Put simply: tweaking and editing single genes will only get you so far.

The majority of common and chronic diseases involve expression changes in multiple genes. To tackle these, we will have to re-tune not just one instrument, but a whole section of the orchestra.

Take the case of chronic, age-related autoimmune conditions. Imagine retuning multiple, immune-system genes to turn “attack yourself” music into “protect yourself” music. We actually know which genes to tune for that. And the ability to set their volume gauges to zero, to 10,000, or anywhere in between is ultimately where the next generation of therapeutics are headed.For the vast majority of disease, we don’t need the genes to be off, we just need them to start performing at the right volume. Same tune, only less cowbell.Looking ahead at the next decade, I see it as an important window of opportunity for gene tuning to go after diseases where multiple levers need to be adjusted on the soundboard—and where the adjustment level needs to be a graded one, rather than all-or-none.  This is not to say that gene editing cannot do similar things. But sometimes you just need to match the problem to the solution best configured to solve it. You could play the intro to the Jaws theme on a flute – but it will sound better on a double bass.So when can we expect these gene-tuning therapeutics to actually become available to patients?In a time where genetic therapy for cancer is becoming the standard of care, and where we have an approved CRISPR medicine for the most common genetic disease on earth, we are closer than ever. The number one thing we have learned from that history is every new technology stands on the shoulders of previous ones,

The first clinical trials for gene tuning are likely to happen very soon – perhaps within the year.  Encouraged by the exponential growth in the broader gene therapy space, many academic scientists and biotech companies are working hard to bring therapeutic gene tuning to patients. Clinicians and regulators worldwide have learned to appreciate the power and potential of gene editing, and I am hopeful we will see a similar phenomenon for gene tuning as well.The second half of John Lennon’s classic Strawberry Fields Forever was sped up by the Beatles’ producer, George Martin, to sound right—one of countless examples in the history of music where small tweaks to the score made a big difference. Gene tuning is just getting started on a similar journey to bring harmony to human health—a big challenge, to be sure, but one, I sincerely hope, we can work out.

[townofcadence]

⭐

Send a ⭐ for Muse Combinations!

Hmm! This is tough since I'm very lacking in the Persona knowledge department, but I think I have a few in mind!

I think for your kiddos, There's three or four groupings I think could be interesting! Since your muses are persona ones who are on the young side, I think Artair being in Japan means he could work for threads, because he would probably take a fair few of them under his wing and try to help them as the adult. I don't think it'd be a mentor/mentee situation, since he hardly sees himself as a role-model, but he would at least offer support to these kids who are taking on WAY more than anyone their age should ever have to.

The other three I think could be interesting are all within the age range of most of the group, so I think there's a better capacity for a peer type relationship. Violeta-Rosa and Keanu (Hemlock to their friends) are siblings from the Rivera-Flores family, and they could be in Japan for hand-wavey exchange program reasons or something-- they're both close to 18-19, so they might have a lot more connection with others who are also still teenagers! I don't have them up on my page yet because I don't have art for them, but I do have sort of a grasp on their personalities and some of the stuff they're dealing with, so something with them could be fun and interesting because of the close age ranges!

The last one is for a similar reason-- she's a Selkie named Marin who is 17 and impulsive and a bit infatuated with the idea of romance. I don't know how well she'd fit in, but she's in an age range where I feel like she could interact with other teens without there being some kind of age discrepancy which might make other muses feel they have to be respectful or--- less themselves because they want to appear mature.

Anddd extra, but I do have a few younger kiddos which might work, if you want, where your kids are kinda the responsible ones in the situation, kinda a la P4 with Nanako! I have Willow, Kit, and Siren. Siren would be a bit tougher to work with because he has no voice. He can read thoughts (he's like... a baby merfolk siren who had his voice stolen in a sense, and I thought it'd be neat if they communicated via fin movements and thought underwater), and the most he usually communicates with is sign, writing, moving his fins, or pictures he draws. So that might be a no-go, though Siren is also the easiest of the kids to manage.

Willow is kind of the middle road when it comes to managing her. She's twelve and usually pretty good, but there's a lot of negative feelings she's carrying with her. Kit is the hardest to befriend if you come at them from a responsible angle, and is a bit of a wild-child. They are a kitsune pup who stays in a human form a lot, or a fox kind of interchangeably. They're a bit of trouble and a bit bitey and mean in a way of seeming tough and protecting themself (or because they're jealous or petty at times), though usually can be befriended with food and patience lol. But yeah, they're both kinda more complex than the kids in media who are perfect and never fuss or be unreasonable xD

[the-firebird69]

And we're talking about the reimbursement and it happens after the Revolutionary War but to try and shoot for it every year and what they're trying to do is to win the war and to say they used our sun services and all that good stuff and 76 974 is July 4 that's what they wanna say but there's a few things wrong with it the stipe handy doesn't remember the Monday last year he can't recall getting any money he said it would have to be hundreds of dollars by now and it really is and he remembers getting money for the stimulus that was back in 2000 22,021 so 2021 and 23 he's stuck here but he got money in 22 he thinks from the storm and it might be when it was put in it was in his bank did you put into here it's truced bank that would be last year but that's 2000 22 not 2023 and we think he's right but he can check that that was like 700 bucks that's the last you remember is getting a check for of that size so he's trying to recall the sequence of events and the dates and stuff hurricane Punta Gorda it's in September 28, 2022 And that was the year before last year this year he got a renewed contract end of February only two pages they increased his rent by 50 bucks. And started to try and ding him constantly. Doesn't remember getting anymore money from anywhere and that's because George WA was not getting reimbursed steadily and it was not every other year but it was not a reimbursement until the end of the civil war but these guys were paying out a reimbursement or less every so often in a cycle so he's wondering what that is and we don't know no we do it's a cyclical thing and he doesn't know what part of the cycle it is but $700 is not a lot of money and the war seems to be going on but it goes on for several years before ending and it's not ended so maybe the money was for something else and they haven't said the Revolutionary War is over and he didn't really feel nominated. We do know the answer and we do know that he gotta check for the storm and it was in late 2022 and he didn't get something in 23 no OK so it's saying it took 10 months to get a check and he thinks that might be right is going through many months like 4 or 5 months of flood damage everywhere and not being able to move around and trees and power lines down still for months like half a year so getting a check later on makes sense and he applied for it early on and didn't expect it and then it finally came he thought it was 8 months but that might be after he applied he said he waited in a little bit and thought it was too late like three months when he could access a method of requesting it. He thinks he did it in the library and it's true so it comes out to a year to 2023. Tommy F worked on it too he said this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It says you're a rebel and now you got beat up and your forces were beaten down taking hard hits and these people have two but not directly and that's the problem you've been getting hit directly and can see them very clearly and they get hit by other people so they're gonna have to keep an eye on these nukes and see what see what's really gonna happen so he says you're right they need information and they need it from will and Bill and from me and others in a group that's combined and formed some sort of neutral area a little and it's true. And I do thank you for the help in thanking me and said I understand And I do thank you for the help in thanking me and said I understand it's very hard i'm really young. I'm doing the best I can scotty very that's funny OK. Tommy F and he sees it and he's researching it and he has information in people are thanking him and they're talking to him about it. So we're going to print.

Thor Freya

Olympus

that Makes it kinda stupider Tommy F you saying that you just said some kind of club.

I don't wanna get a Johnny Peg even if it has two motors and maybe it does that's pretty good he says it's faster than the victory. Well you might get one of those. I understand that.

ken

Well it doesn't mean much but at least to be somewhat happy on its way out that's funny she he says I mean hey him I mean. Yeah

Hera

Zues yeh ken be a man get whalle oil no ok

and i h ear it

Ken

ahahah lo hwhale oil on antacricta and oh no

trump

Olympus bozo

[christopblog]

Album of the Year 2023

I did it last year so I guess I'm running it back

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Lankum - False /Lankum Totally not my usual vibe, found this one through RYM front page. Was met with a genuinely great, unique take on Irish folk/maritime music with a heavy helping of drone in the mix. It's a pretty perfect combination, creating a sort of hypnotic gothic pirate vibe that I enjoy quite a bit. Favorite tracks: Go Dig My Grave, The New York Trader (boat song, for the boat song fuckers), Lord Abore and Mary Flynn.

Carly Rae Jepsen - The Lovliest Time I wasn't surprised when this dropped, Carly's been doing this pattern for her last few albums, where she releases a sort of B-side version about a year after the last. Real chris-heads might remember that I had The Lonliest Time, her last studio album, in my honorable mention section last year, so this seems at least consistent. However, I can firmly say that I like this album quite a bit more than The Lonliest Time, I think it's a pretty significant improvement in songwriting and production. Just track for track a better experience, and one of my favorite Carly projects in years. Favorite tracks: Kamikaze, Kollage, Shadow, Psychedelic Switch, Come Over

McKinley Dixon - Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? Unlike the other two, I'm confident in saying this is the number 11 spot, barely edged out by some of the material I liked a little bit more. There's a chance my taste shifts slightly in the next year and this goes way up on the list. I haven't heard much of anything from east coast Jazz Rap artist McKinley Dixon til this project blew up in RYM/nerd music circles, so I gave it a listen. A really tight little album with some excellent production and bars, a couple of genuinely beautiful songs. I'm a fan now, and I'll absolutely be checking out his future projects. Favorite tracks: Sun, I Rise , Run, Run, Run , Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? Sun, I Rise is one of my top singles of the year, for the record.

TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2023:

10. I'm Cheating: Vylet Pony - Carousel and I Was The Loner of Paradise Valley

Vylet Pony continues her streak of appearing in my top 10 album lists by consistently releasing genuinely great new music. Originally, I was going to have her new big studio album, Carousel, in my honorable mentions, but then she dropped a mixtape called I Was The Loner of Paradise Valley about 2 weeks before the end of December. Was I really gonna try to put two different Vylet Pony projects on this list? Especially when, if I'm being honest, I liked the mixtape a bit more than the main album? So, here I am cheating by kind of throwing them together and just labeling this slot "Vylet Pony's contribution to music this year". I'll give both projects some individual attention. Carousel is a cinematic concept album that gives off dark carnival vibes, and deals mostly about facing the darkness inside of you, or the concept of your "Shadow". I think, conceptually, it's much weaker than her last narrative based concept album, Fish Whisperer . It ends up feeling a little overlong, overly dramatic (this is pun because there is a song called flair for the dramatic haha), and a little overwrought at times. However, I think when it hits, it HITS, and she's got a few tracks on here that I'd rank among her best of all time. Still a great project overall that I find myself liking more as time goes on despite my initial misgivings. Favorite tracks: Pony Rock! , Constellation Cradle, Brohoof, Crush Kill Destroy Swag, The Carrion Child, Flair for the Dramatic, Creekflow I Was The Loner of Paradise Valley in turn is a much more quiet and introspective affair, but the songwriting and production is incredibly consistent all the way through. Less individual highlights, but it works much better as an album experience. This one is new and still settling in my brain, so I have less to say about it, but I was quite impressed by it initially at least. Favorite tracks: ECR, Cross, Paintbucket, Brother, Are You Proud of Me?

9. Jessie Ware - That! Feels Good!

After blowing all of our collective minds with her pop disco masterpiece What's Your Pleasure in 2020, Jessie took her time cooking up a follow up, finally releasing the highly anticipated album this past April. I have a bit of a complex relationship with this album, I definitely don't find it as magnetic and sticky as What's Your Pleasure, I still have a hard time remembering singles off of this one if I think back to it, but every single time I sit down and listen to it I have a blast. It's still an excellent collection of extremely catchy, brilliantly produced, sexy disco pop tracks, even if I'd rate it slightly under her last album overall. Regardless, this is some seriously impressive consistency from Jessie, and I wish more people explored this kind of sound because it fucking rules. Great stuff. Favorite Tracks: Free Yourself, Hello Love, These Lips

8. Lil Yachty - Let's Start Here.Easy winner of my most improved artist award, and also winner of my absolutely out of left field award too. If you'd told me a trap artist who, despite a few breakout singles, hadn't really put out anything that great (sorry yachty fans) would pivot into a hybrid psychedelic rock/rap album with heavy soul and stoner rock influences I would have accused you of shitposting. This shouldn't work but it absolutely does, pretty much the whole way through. Yachty's style of autotuned rap and vocals just sit really well in the mix against the slower paced instrumental, letting these big walls of sound build up into some really cool climaxes. Also has a great use of features, some of the guest vocalists on this are killer. I think Yachty has always had a pretty unique singing voice, and this is the best he's ever sounded by far. Excited to see if he'll stick with this style or move on, either way, I'm just glad something this experimental and weird exists. Favorite Tracks: the BLACK seminole, THE zone~, IVE OFFICIALLY LOST VISION, REACH THE SUNSHINE also shoutouts to Poland, it wasn't on this album but it's just as good as anything else on here.

7. Caroline Palochek - Desire, I Want to Turn Into You

She's back, babyy! This was a highly anticipated album for 2023, I really loved her solo debut album Pang when I first heard it back in 2019. She's got an incredible voice, insane vocal control and mastery, and is able to create this luscious sound, with all kinds of little mini vocal runs and intunation tricks. Next level stuff, and she's doing it on Art Pop/Hyperpop tracks that sound like they should be playing on the radio (not derogatory in any way, just impressive). The production is almost the real star of this album, I think it's even better than Pang in that regard, just an excellently mixed and writing project front to back. We get a great range from EDM Dance Pop to a little Flamenco flair in Sunset, to a more choral piece like Hopedrunk Everasking. Insane range, and her voice is the star in every track, she just can't help but kill the performance. I gotta go see her live sometime to see if she can do this in person consistently, it's nuts. I might like this one more than Pang tbh, hard to say. Favorite Tracks: Sunset, I Believe, Blood and Butter, Hopedrunk Everlasting, Billions

6. Paramore - This is Why

Okay I have to admit something here, this is the first Paramore album I've listened to all the way through. I was a little too young back in the day and just rocked a couple of their more popular singles, but after this one it makes me wanna go back and check out the full backlog. What a great comeback album! I know a lot of people really liked their other comeback album, After Laughter, which I tried to listen to this year and just completely bounced off of for some reason. I think maybe because it leans too much into pop and less into the alt-rock/ pop punk that you'd normally expect from Paramore. Thankfully, This is Why is very much that classic sound, but updated for modern times. Hayley Williams still sounds as good as she did back in the day, and we've been blessed with an excellent collection of new songs that are just an absolute blast to listen to. These songs are fun, punchy, and have some real heart behind them as well. There's so much range on this project, from the stellar opening title track This is Why, to the playful and tongue in cheek Running Out of Time, which all are reminiscent of the original Paramore sound. The back half features some stellar rock ballads, like Liar and Crave, capping out with a great buildup on Thick Skull. You can tell Paramore's grown up a little bit, and they're making music for their audience of now 20-40 year olds, and they're even better for it. This one grew on me big time throughout the year, I could see it doing even more. Favorite tracks: This is Why, The News, Running Out of Time, You First, Liar (this is my favorite), Crave

5. PinkPantheress - Heaven Knows

Yes, this is the "Boys a Liar Pt. 2" girl if you have tiktok or listen to the radio ever, that song is everywhere for a reason. I've been a huge fan of PinkPantheress since I heard a single from her debut mixtape To Hell With It , then listened to the rest of the album and found it equally amazing. I think this girl's a huge up and coming talent, especially for how young she is, and I've been consistently impressed at her ability to make these short, absurdly catchy, memorable little drum and bass tracks with her lovely angelic voice on top. I think while To Hell With It edges out this new album when it comes to production and instrumentation, her lyrics are way more impactful and poignant here on Heaven Knows , there's some serious weight to a few of these tracks. Mosquito is kind of a masterpiece in this regard, how it's able to marry the lyrics of a girl being too attached to someone, draining them like a mosquito, with these little whistles in the mix that sound almost like an insect buzzing around. It just matches the feel of the words perfectly. Then you have Ophelia, an incredibly haunting song about getting murdered via forced drowning, but you wouldn't guess if you weren't paying attention, it sounds more like a melancholic break-up song. And then the last proper track on the album, Capable of Love is maybe the best song she's made so far. I'm glad this one turned out so well, and she's quickly cementing herself as one of my favorite new artists this decades. Deserves all the popularity she gets, Boys a Liar is a stellar single too. Favorite tracks: Another Life, Mosquito, The Aisle, Ophelia, Capable of Love, Boy's a Liar Pt. 2

4. Parannoul - After the Magic

I've got a bit of a complicated relationship with Parannoul since they debuted and became a RYM darling a couple of years ago, mainly with their breakout hit To See the Next Part of the Dream , an album I definitely enjoyed but didn't necessarily love. It was clearly very well put together, lowfi shoegaze/noise rock album with a lot of heart and soul put into it, but it never quite clicked with me. After the Magic brings about a much more clean, less low-fi feel to it, really highlighting how incredibly well composed these songs are, and I think that was the missing piece for me. I was pretty blown away on first listen by this one, just a great collection of tracks with deep, layered sound throughout. It's a frequently beautiful, awe-inspiring experience that I highly reccomend. I need to get around to listening to the live version, which is currently rated as the RYM 7th greatest live performance of all time. Excited to keep listening to more from this dude! Favorite tracks: Polaris, Insomnia, We Shine at Night, After the Magic

3.JPEGMAFIA x Danny Brown - Scaring the Hoes

If Peggy drops you know it's on the list, and he's continuing his insane streak of AOTY contender releases this year with a collab album with eccletic rapper Danny Brown. I've always liked Danny when I've heard him on features, but admittedly haven't gone back and listened to his most iconic albums. I think his wacky voice and great flow really works as a contrast to Peggy's more aggressive vocals, but while I enjoyed most of his verses I always tended to come away from each track thinking Peggy outshone him. Maybe just a personal taste thing, hard to say. Regardless, this thing is fucking loaded with bangers front to back, featuring some of Peggy's best production to date. There really just isn't anyone who approaches the kind of sound he goes for in his music, he's dominating his own lane in the best way possible. StH brings wit, speed, precision, and intensity front to back. And apparently Peggy meant to drop a solo album at the end of 23 too? Ridiculous creative output, mans can't be stopped. Extremely pumped for whatever he's dropping this year too, I'm sure you'll be reading about it here next year. Favorite tracks: Steppa Pig, Garbage Pale Kids, Burfict!, Kingdom Hearts Key, God Loves You

2. Mitski - The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We

You hear that? It's the sound of me praising God above because the GOAT is back in form. Look, I was a little worried when Mitski dropped Laurel Hell last year. Real fans might have noticed that album was totally absent from my year-end list for 22, not even an HM nod. And that's because it was... as much as I loathe to say it, as much as I wish it weren't the case... it was... tragically... mid. A few really strong singles that I still love and the rest just kind of blurs together, nowhere near the same bite and impact her lyrics and songwriting usually brings. And that was after a 4 year hiatus, so I thought it'd be ages if I even got another one. Not the case! Mitski's back and she's got a completely new sound, ditching entirely the more electropop/synthpop leanings of Laurel Hell and embracing an indie folk sound leaning hard on Americana, and dare I say it... country? Listen to the first chords of Heaven and tell me that's not got all the trappings of a proper country ballad. Speaking of, holy shit, what a song! Has to be her best in years, maybe even since Nobody. Just absolutely stunningly gorgeous. I think what I was really missing from a lot of Laurel was lyricism, and Inhospitable is chock full of poignant, extremely memorable lines front to back. "Sometimes a drink feels like faaaaamilyyyyyy" "a whoooole cake, all for me" "you believe me like a god, I betray you like a man". That's what I expect out of Mitski, and I am so incredibly happy to say that Laurel was an outlier (a half decent one, too) and that she's still in her prime as one of the greatest songwriters of her generation. It's a little too bad about this next one, or I think this would have sealed the deal for AOTY. Favorite tracks: Bug Like an Angel, Heaven, I Don't Like My Mind, The Deal, My Love Mine All Mine, Star, I'm Your Man, I Love Me After You

Ichiko Aoba - Ichiko Aoba With 12 Ensemble (Live at Milton Court)

I'm not gonna do some bullshit cheating thing where I list this in a separate category because it's a live album, I think that'd be disrespectful to what this album accomplishes. I'll state the obvious up front, yes, this was the year in which I traveled thousands of miles collectively to go see her live twice, and that was after seeing her live for the first time in October of 22. This was a bucket list item for me that I hadn't expected to cross off anytime soon, because it's my opinion that Ichiko is best experienced live, and I'd already made that opinion before getting to have that experience myself just based on her live albums. 0% is probably still my favorite album of all time, Pneuma is up there, and Gift at Sogetsu Hall won an AOTY from me when it came out too. Perhaps I'm too biased not to automatically put a new live Ichiko album at the top of this list now that I've been lucky and blessed enough to experience her in person multiple times, and that's okay. It's an ethereal, otherworldly, perfect experience that I will never forget. HOWEVER. This is not just another live Ichiko album, and I will attempt to rationalize why it deserves the top spot, and this level of distinction. Ichiko typically performs solo with her guitar, with a few notable exceptions (like Pneuma). Her last studio album, Windswept Adan featured, for the first time, a full instrumentation for many of the songs, allowing us to hear what Ichiko sounds like with a backing track. And while I don't necessarily love Adan more than her solo projects, I think the sound curated on that album is wholly unique in her discography, and it makes for some of her dreamiest, beautiful work to date. Milton Court is essentially a live album version of Adan, and it's actually not the first, as she released a solo live album covering the Adan songs in 2021 that is incredible, and I honestly enjoy a bit more than the studio recordings. And despite having heard these songs many, many times, in many different versions, including live in person, I can confidently say that Milton Court is the best they have ever sounded, with the backing of 12 Ensemble out of London. Never at any point do the instrumentalists overshadow Ichiko, her guitar, or her vocals, instead they are able to accompany her as she gives what has to be a top 3 lifetime performance across these thirteen tracks. In particular, this rendition of Dawn in the Adan and Asleep Among Endives are pure perfection, otherworldly bliss. The craziest thing is that compared to the rest of her body of work, the songs on Adan aren't even necessarily my favorites, even if I do love them. That in mind, I can confidently say that Milton Court is my second favorite work from Ichiko, behind 0%. These renditions and performances are just that good. Easiest AOTY of my life. Favorite track: literally all of the, particularly Sagu Palm's Song, Dawn in the Adan, and Asleep Among the Endives.

[miaoqing]

I took a uni course about erotica this summer and now I’m weirdly passionate about it as a genre so if I may throw in my two cents:

I'm gonna go ahead and put a cut all the way up here because I simply can't seem to shup up so this got kind of long hahah

I think you might be confusing "erotica" with "pornography". Pornography generally tends to use more explicit language but be otherwise kind of stripped down, lacking depth and without much plot; the world is unrealistic in a way that lacks logic, everybody always consents, the anatomy is ridiculous, there's an impossible amount of bodily fluids, and so on. The difference between these two is a bit blurry and many don't acknowledge it at all so I don't blame you for this lol. 

Erotica is a kind of in-between between pornography and “regular” fiction and I think it's important to remember that whether something is erotica or not often isn't completely black or white; there are many stories which contain erotic and even pornographic elements even if they wouldn't be classified as erotica as a whole, like for example Bridgerton which you mentioned (which, sidenote, AFAIK the books are more explicit than the TV adaptation). If a story has both plot and explicit sex scenes - how would you classify that? Is it porn because it has sex scenes or is it a legitimate work of literature because it has plot and character development? That’s where the term erotica comes in. I would say that stallion novels do sometimes contain erotic elements and it is fair to categorise those parts as erotica and discuss/analyse them as such.

As for PIDW, it's true that the first sex scene only appears after many chapters, however the reason for that is explained thusly:

"Before this event, Proud Immortal Demon Way's performance online had been steadfastly lukewarm. But once the Immortal Alliance Conference Arc debuted, the reviews, comments, subscriptions, and tips all soared into the heavens.

It wasn't only because from that point forward, "Great Master" Airplane Shooting Toward the Sky abandoned the last of his already minimal principles and poured woman upon woman into the story (...)."

(Also, honestly, the least Airplane could do was wait until the protagonist was of a somewhat legal age before putting him in a sexual situation, don't you think?)

To be fair we do get a slightly conflicting piece of information in this passage as well:

"(cont.) adding interminable sections of titillating descriptions and blush-inducing, barely legal passages one after another."

(Page 154, vol 1)

"Barely legal" would indeed imply that the scenes weren't necessarily completely explicit, but that doesn't really add up with:

"Liu Mingyan was the only female character for whom Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write detailed sex scenes."

(Page 88, vol 1)

Nowhere does it say that there are “whole chapters” dedicated to just sex, that’s true, but PIDW had 10k word chapters and you can easily fit both plot and porn in that. In the Airplane extra someone says “the MC just spends all day eating, sleeping, and collecting girls, and you have the fucking gall to tell me that this is a cultivation novel?” which to me implies that the bigger part of the 10k chapters is focused on “getting the girl”, so to speak, and thus it’s not nearly as “incredibly plot-heavy” as you say that other stallion novels tend to be. Honestly I think it’s kind of hard to tell from this whether or not PIDW was more or less explicit as the bit you provided, but we do also know for a fact that Binghe has an abnormally large appendage, that every woman he encounters consents to having sex with him, and that many characters lack depth and intelligence, all of which are elements of pornographic logic. Now obviously that can also be seen as a combination of male fantasy and bad writing, but personally I do think that it’s grounds for interpreting PIDW as being quite explicit.

Lastly, a few words about erotica in general. Is it the language/wording that determines whether or not something is erotic literature? Merriam-Webster's definition of the word "erotica" is "of, devoted to, or tending to arouse sexual love or desire" and I would argue that the excerpt you provided is meant to arouse. Why else would it be there at all? Even if two characters having sex is somehow important for the plot, it could still be summarised even more concisely. I don’t think that a stallion novel ultimately being the story of how the protagonist rises to power, as you said, means that it can’t contain erotic elements and thus at least partially be considered erotica. Honestly I’m not sure if “ecchi” is the right tag for the story you showed anyway; according to Wikipedia ecchi mostly entails references to sexual actions in the form of jokes, suggestive poses, revealing clothing/sexualised nudity, etc. Wikipedia does list groping as a common element, but even that isn’t as explicit as your excerpt - what you showed is literally penetrative intercourse described in somewhat vague terms. If I’m understanding you correctly, the difference between this and “real” erotica is basically just that this has been thrown into a thesaurus and shaken around? Personally I think it might simply be mistagged, as many online novels are for some reason; it might have to do with how we generally use “explicit” for only graphic, detailed descriptions of sex, and everything “milder” than that is just “mature” with no further distinctions.

BTW I’m sorry if this sounds hostile or anything, I accidentally use semi-academic language a lot which can sound a bit curt but this is all just meant as genuine friendly discussion! <3

Some more insights into stallion novels:

It’s easy to get the impression from all the papapa-related plot points mentioned in SVSSS that stallion novels are erotica…but they’re not. They’re actually incredibly plot-heavy; the papapa usually only shows up after dozens of chapters. (See: Bing-ge only losing his virginity when he’s 17, after a great deal of time has been spent on his tragic childhood and abuse.) And the papapa scenes themselves are not very detailed or explicit, for the most part. A lot of them are short summaries, laden with euphemisms, or “fade to black”.

In other words, stallion novels are like edgy R-rated action movies, rather than NC-17 p*rn. You will rarely if ever find a chapter that’s wholly dedicated to papapa. 

For an example of what I mean, below the cut is an unusually detailed example of a papapa scene from the stallion novel “My Wife is a Beautiful CEO” (content warning for semi-explicit papapa):

Keep reading

[wsitho123]

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