#and i love how we are getting more trans queens!!!

[raisinchallah]

honestly tragic there was never a star trek show weird and ok with showing gay people yet also homophobic enough at the same time to do a planet of gays episode where gay is straight and straight is gay i mean they sort of did that with the unbearably confused couldnt tell if it was being a gay or trans metaphor episode where that metaphor trans girl was most oppressed for desiring to be heterosexual in a world without gender but that was almost too self serious i mean it is star trek it would still believe the episode where riker endures heterophobia on planet gay was a really important mission statement episode and being boldly political but again whats really vital is we need the evil gay ruling class oppressing the poor sweet heteros we need the enterprise crew pretending to be gay for diplomacy purposes and it needs to be painfully dated and homophobic one can imagine different versions for different eras... in tos it would be like planet entirely of men or entirely of women and they wouldnt say it was planet of gays but it would be like all the most misogynistic moments of spocks brain but like with no respite and kirk would prove to the cold lesbian ice queen ruler of the planet that men are real flesh and blood and teach her how to love and spock would be really popular with planet lesbian if it was tng it would be like we are really bravely showing the homophobia thru the lens of straight people it would be exactly like the world where gay is straight and straight is gay viral youtube video and riker would save a poor woman from a life of cruel lesbian political marriage she doesnt believe in and teach her how to love... planet gays readily accepts captain picard as one of their own its all painfully serious and miserable if it was on ds9 it would be a ferengi episode where they delve into the deranged homosocial ferengi customs and its one of the worst episodes ever made they make sure that everyone knows part of the reason quark left ferenginar was because he wasnt "like that" but also keep making quark gay jokes anyways if it was on voyager they would use it as an opportunity to prove captain janeway is not a lesbian and really doesnt appreciate people saying that about her tom and harry would end up in an evil gay bar and get their kidneys stolen if it was on enterprise it would be a near constant unending barrage of unfunny gay jokes and the episode was never syndicated again after widespread protests as to its offensiveness malcolm and trip go to a bar and keep making more extreme gross out faces about getting hit on by men and have to put on a deeply painful gay stereotype performance to leave a situation unscathed t'pol experiences reverse homophobia heterophobia from the planets women but the enterprise crew keeps joking she might be gay and she gets it from both sides regularly rated one of the worst episodes of star trek ever made

[gor3sigil]

Trans drag performers deserve better.

Okay so since y'all seem interested, here we go.

[This is about MY experience as a “former” transmasc drag king, in my local scene. This isn't representative of the drag scene as a whole because drag is a wide, huge scene with pretty much any type of people in it. I have never done paid gig. I only performed a couple of times before deciding to stop.]

I discovered drag with RuPaul like a lot of people, and for a long time, I only knew about drag queens. It’s when I learned about an initiation to drag king happening in my town that I decided to try it. I did a bit of research before the event took place and that's how I learned that drag king is widely undocumented, compared to drag queen. A bit disheartening but I was excited to do something new and especially to get back in my local queer community after 2 years or so of “no contact” with it because trauma (see my post about my first T4T relationship to understand why).

First surprise when I got there, I was the only transmasc present as an attendee. The organiser and person who teached us is agender and go by he/him, and his at the time SO is a transmasc enby but appart from them, I was the only trans person. Most of the others were cis lesbian women. Makes sense. The initiation weekend went really well and we ended up performing in an open scene at the end. I can't count the amount of times I got misgendered by other kings during this weekend and I have to say, it pissed me off so fucking bad because I was the only one getting consistantly misgendered. But I brushed it off and had a blast.

My drag persona is more of a dragula king, really goth, and I did a lipsync performance on a Black Dresses song. I loved it and had a blast. A year or so later, we decided with other drag kings to do a little group to perform together.

Once again, I'm the only trans person.

And that's when the shitshow kinda happened. From all the drag kings present, I was also the only one who wasn't already part of a collective. So the group we had was composed of people from 2 collectives who would basically cheer each other out at every show, and it's great !! But I wasn't being integrated into the group, and I felt defeated. One of the main reasons why I didn't go to drag shows was because I was FLAT BROKE. I couldn't attend these events as they were always or in a bar so you have to at least buy a drink, or had a fee, and I couldn't afford that.

We started doing rehearsals and I set up a discord server for us all to use and organize the said rehearsals. It soon became apparent that they weren't really serious about this group, that they were more involved in their own collectives and it was HELL to have at least one rehearsal a month. But we had a show scheduled for september, and half of the kings weren't ready, didn't know their texts nor songs. I knew it was going to be bad. Also we were confirmed that the gig was going to actually happen 3 days only before, because the people who said they were going to do the visuals NEVER DID and we had to fumble something quick so the event was promoted very fucking late and we weren't sure we could even afford to do it, because not many tickets were sold.

During the rehearsals I got singled out for everything. My voice was dropping because of the T (I had started 8 months prior) and I tried to do my best with the singing parts but got told a few times that my low voice would sound “weird” amongst the sopranos. Also, one of the solo part a king was going to perform was on a very upbeat music and he said we could join IF WE WANTED.

I said I'd pass since it wasn't my style at all.

And when we got to the venue, the venue didn't have any backstage and I had my solo part just after that, so I couldn't just stand there on stage and do nothing. The others in my group KNEW IT as they had performed in this venue BEFORE but just told me “oh, too bad, improvise something” when they were the same ones who told me that taking part in the number was not mandatory.

Regarding the other artists, man, I hated everything. I got misgendered constantly IN KING LIKE - I'M A DRAG KING FFS. Even by others in my group.

When I corrected another performer, a cis gay dude, he laughed at my FACE and told me “but you're trans aren't you like, against gender or something ?”. As I was pre op and still early in my transition I was basically outing myself everytime I told my pronouns and I got so many cis performers ask me invasive questions about my sex life, or being like “yeah I have a trans friend who goes by X but I knew them as Y so it's Y to me but it's not in a disrespectful way you see”.

So yeah, I didn't have a great night. :)

The cis kings called me “girl” or “sis” because “I'm one of them” even after telling them time and time again that I wasn't comfortable with that.

And after this quite disastrous experience, the same ones who called me “girl” and me got into an argument because they wanted to change a song about forced toxic masculinity which is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL SONG into lyrics to talk about femininity. I said that we could use another song then, because there's so few cis men singers who sing about being forced into toxic masculinity and virility that I found that a bit disrespectful to take this important message and make it about women and femininity. There's plenty of songs about that that we could use.

And now guess what ? I was a MEAN MAN who wanted women to NOT TALK ABOUT THEIR ISSUES because I was a very MANLY DUDE DISGUSTING MALE.

The same people who couldn't gender me correctly and called me “sis” a WEEK BEFORE.

So yeah, I got the fuck out and gave up.

I really wish I can perform again one day, but it'll be in another scene.

So PSA: book drag kings, because they are so underrepresented it's disheartening, RESPECT trans drag performers, don't but bioessentialism in drag for the LOVE OF GOD IT'S DRAG. Like imagine being transphobic as a DRAG PERFORMER. Learn the history. And fucking do better.

[slashersgostabbystabstab]

Headcanons for how the killers' would react to you trying to bite them! (I've never sent one of these before so I hope it's what you're looking for ^^)

All good! Thank you so much for the request!

I obviously won’t do such a handful of killers since I’m only writing for 4 specific killers right now, but I’ll add an additional one I thought would be interesting. I hope this is what you were looking for 🥲 I tried-

Singularity

Hux hates being touched, especially by a human. So safe to say he will NOT appreciate such actions

“Keep your human slobber off”

Would advise you to step away, but he’s already using his left claw to grip onto your face and push you away from him

“Do not attempt that again” Consent and notice is important to him mkay

More attempts will result in you being kicked out of the Huxlee Caracas III; if you’re his S/O at this point he’s still keeping you in his vicinity

“Are you trying to make me angry?” Calm down there Wesker

He doesn’t entirely mind it if given notice and he wants to get just a tad bit more intimate

Dredge

It doesn’t really perturb Druanee, it mostly is just perplexed and curious. 

It hopes its amalgamation of flesh is to your taste, if this is why you’re doing this. Druanee knows you can’t eat it, but it’s amusing seeing such things

With an unexpected nonchalance, it allows biting to continue if you want it to

Just don’t be surprised if something from the void reaches out and gives you a nibble of its own. Druanee totally does not know about that. 

This will happen a lot more; another conversation about boundaries unless you’re into the surprise love bites 

Blight

Definitely finds it strange when it happens, because you will manage to get a bite in seeing as he might be distracted doing something

Makes him wonder if you're seeking attention...

Talbot just shrugs it off and doesn't think very much about it. Until you do it again. Now he's really setting his pen down and looks at you

He can't talk so you're getting a look...can't really tell what emotion is present on there. He tries to communicate that it's not the best idea to bite him (but he is secretly curious to see what would happen if- Talbot No)

Definitely do not bite him. Not a good idea. Nope.

Besides his scientific tendencies I think he might actually like getting bitten

Deathslinger

Will stop what's he's doing and turn to you. Pretty astonished honestly

"Why are we biting, sweetheart?"

Wouldn't really be bothered by it and would instead find it endearing, just tell him first please. He's probably working with some tools and can't have ya getting hurt

Actually would enjoy receiving surprise bites; unless...you're someone random than what the-

Does appreciate if you kiss where you give him little bites~

Don't expect any bites from him however, at least...not at random like you might be doing

Xenomorph (take this one as you will)

If you’re trying to give Big Chap a bite, it means you’ve grown a close enough bond to be physically allowed that close to them

However, strong emphasis on bite. They’re not exactly going to allow it. At first

Before you can land any kind of nibble, Big Chap will bite you first

They tease you, playfully scare you with false bites. Until the day they finally decide to chomp 

Just like Druanee you will get many surprise (love) bites (which may hurt a bit more than what Druanee gives). Eventually though, they will soften their bites 

Sometimes the inner mouth is what will give the bites, those are more like nibbles and can be considered much more affectionate

You will be allowed to give the your own bites at some, because Big Chap will expect the favor to be returned (what a hypocrite)

Fun fact: The Xenomorph in DBD is obviously from the first ALIEN movie and is named Big Chap. Although I typically call Xenos by she/her pronouns (it's a joke but they all have potential to be a Queen) I went with something more neutral because the name implies something male…trans Xeno? Idk I just really like ALIEN

[marzipanandminutiae]

I have a question, where would gnc/trans people get their clotges in the days before the selling of premade clothes? I assume some was stealing from relatives, and that soem of them did know how to make clothes, but that doesn't seem at all likely to be the most common method

That is an amazing question!

Unfortunately for a lot of people, we don't really know- many trans folks flew under the radar and as such details of their lives are unclear. Legendary stagecoach driver Charley Parkhurst, for example, left no sort of record as to where he got his clothes (especially since he lived in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for many years of his life). And figures like Mary Jones, a Black trans sex worker from the early 19th century, flit into and out of the pages of history so quickly that there's barely enough info to get their vital statistics, let alone shopping habits.

However, my guesses would be as follows:

Secondhand shops. These have existed for a very long time, and if you already have at least one outfit that makes you read as the correct gender, nobody would question you going through that section of the store/market/whatever.

Sympathetic conventional tailors or dressmakers. This is almost certainly where middle- and upper-class GNC or trans people got their clothing- one can hardly imagine legendary writer George Sand buying her suits secondhand, after all. And since humans have always been human, and Let People Dress How They Please; They Aren't Hurting Anyone is a sentiment I've seen at least as far back as the 19th century, I suspect there were far more of these than many people might think.

Clothing workshops catering to the demimonde- that is, to theatrical companies for costumes, or to sex workers. Certainly this is where drag performers got their stage gear, and one imagines people for whom gender variance crossed the line from performance to identity- like Fanny Park and Stella Boulton -might have turned to their costumers for everyday attire, too. And catering to sex workers probably got all sorts of requests that were seen as outre for the time (in a roleplay capacity- most sex workers dressed conventionally while not actively Doing Sex), but their money was as good as anyone else's.

Friends and relatives. Some families knowingly supported their crossdressing or trans loved ones. Even partners who married the person in question as the binary opposite gender could fall into this category- Lili Elbe (though she lived after premade dresses began to rise in popularity) first experimented with feminine attire in dresses and jewelry loaned by her enthusiastically supportive wife Gerta Gottlieb. In fact, Gottlieb was bisexual, and their marriage was only annulled because Lili was a woman now and same-gender marriage was illegal in Denmark at the time.

Also yes stealing from your relatives was also an option, of course. if they were less than sympathetic

The king of France???? this is the wildcard, and my absolute favorite: the Chevaliere d'Eon, when she transitioned in the 1770s, got the king to not only formally state that she had been assigned female at birth (there had been speculation about her physical sex for years at this point) but to pay for her new wardrobe of gowns. Absolute Queen.

"but didn't her mantua-makers notice Some Physical Things?" she's believed to have had some form of gynecomastia, based on her autopsy, and they'd never have cause to see her in less than her calf-length chemise. if they did see anything, they kept their mouths shut, and rightly so.

[creatingblackcharacters]

if you wouldn't mind, would you maybe share some of your favourite Black transgender people in honour of trans day of visibility? Black trans people (especially Black transgender women and drag queens!!) are CRUCIAL to queer history and queer rights and i think they can never get enough love and recognition

I don't necessarily have like, a list of "favorite" Black trans people. But I can list two people that had an effect on me and my understanding of the trans community!

Marsha P Johnson was my first like... I started to make the necessary connections of Blackness, racism, queerness, and activism, by learning about her. She came with the realization that wow, the queer community- as James Baldwin put it best- is no more prepared to accept Black people as anywhere else. The white queer community did HORRIBLE by her and Sylvia, despite all the hard work she put in to protect her community. She came with the realization that the way folks act now is not brand new, it's a pattern, a long held tradition to treat Black trans women terribly despite how wonderful they are, how marginalized they are, and how much they have to offer. That all of our battles are connected, that if we don't fight for everyone, we will lose everyone. I wish she'd lived, and gotten to live a better life, I really do. She deserved that.

Laverne Cox was my first pop culture interaction with transness as a whole, when I was a teenager. I might have hated Orange is the New Black, but it certainly wasn't because of her (or any of the Black cast)! I remember being like "oh, okay!" And not really feeling anything bad about it, so when everyone acted bad it was like... Why are y'all so mad? Obviously I had some learning to do. But I will always respect her for being willing to be out, to have those conversations, to live her best life. I'm happy that she is alive and happy. She's also my safe bar to measure Black people's queer acceptance by. If I bring Laverne up, and you act funny, I don't wanna hear anything else you have to say about anything, really.

[amazinglyegg]

Are you still doing "companions react to" requests? if so, I've got one for ya!

Can you do "Companions react to Sole being transgender"? this can be either sole coming out as trans and wanting to transition, or sole ALREADY being trans for a while and finally letting them know.

you can do just the basics, but if you want to differenciate reactions for mtf, ftm, or enby, thatd be cool too!

alternatively you could also just do "companions react to sole being queer" if you want

(sorry if this is lengthy, ive never submitted a request like this before! keep up the good work!)

Companions React: Sole Coming Out As Trans!

Cait

I feel like she's the type of person to assume the worst when someone says "we need to talk"

So when Sole comes out as trans she's just like "OH THANK GOD"

Once that's out of the way she's chill with it

Probably asks something along the lines of "So you're a they/them?" but don't get me wrong, it's a genuine question!

Afterwards you KNOW she's calling out any assholes that misgender Sole

Wouldn't be surprised if needles are a bit triggering to her (post quest) so if Sole's taking HRT in the form of an injection that might be the one part Cait will step out for

Otherwise she's chill. It doesn't change much in her eyes.

Curie

Absolutely hyped to be trusted by Sole

Honestly Sole being trans is secondary to the fact that they're telling her all about their personal experiences!! And she gets to hear it!! Hell yeah she loves hearing stories!!

You can bet she's asking as many questions as Sole's comfortable with, some to understand how to support them better and others just out of curiosity

Also the queen of oversharing

Finds out Sole's taking testosterone and is like "did you know testosterone can lead to clitoral hypertrophy, otherwise known as bottom gro-" "THANK YOU CURIE THAT'S ENOUGH CURIE"

Codsworth

Codsworth's like the #1 ally here

He's chomping at the bit to do literally anything and everything that supports Sole in any way, and this is the perfect opportunity

The potential of a new name, new clothes, new anything!? Bro's been stuck in a catatonic state for 200 years, any sign of Sole actually existing and growing as a person brings him glee

Honestly he's probably happier than Sole is

You BET he's got an internal schedule keeping track of when Sole should take their hormones or how long they've been wearing their binder for or anything else applicable

Irons their wrinkly-ass trans flag for them

I'm imagining him pulling out Sole's clothes in the morning and laying on top is just their fucking packer. Like "ah yes and here's your cock for the day sir, I made sure to pick one that fits your mood this morning"

Danse

He's taking the conversation SO seriously

Probably has a whole speil about how proud he is of them, how this doesn't change his opinion of them, and how he'll do anything in his power to support their transition

Also being high ranking in the Brotherhood he'll be able to get anything they need on their medical file changed the second they ask

Otherwise mostly leaves it to Sole to bring it up, he doesn't want to push any boundaries or anything

But he DOES go up to Sole several months later out of the blue to tell them about seahorses or hyenas or mushrooms or any other human-gender-defying animal he just learned about like "🫵 it's like you!"

Generally very respectful and professional. Treats it like Sole just got a raise or something

Deacon

Changing identities is his whole thing, he by far has the easiest time adjusting to Sole's new gender

The biggest problem Deacon has is the conversation itself

I think he will shrivel up and die if he has to have a heart-to-heart conversation that lasts more than five minutes

If Sole's particularly worried about the backlash of coming out then don't worry, he's got like 50 different stories of being every gender under the sun while working in the Railroad

He can assure Sole with 100% confidence that nobody in HQ will care what they identify as or how they choose to present themself

Group trip to the feral-infested clothing mall for a wardrobe change!!! You KNOW he's good with outfits

Gage

"Got it, boss, let me know if you need anything" and the conversation's over

This isn't a heart-to-heart (no way the Overboss would ever do THAT), this is a sharing of new information

It really is the verbal equivalent of 👍

You don't ask questions about other raider's lifestyle choices unless you want to get stabbed, and Gage does NOT want to get stabbed

(Will stab someone else on Sole's behalf if they give the green light, though)

Who knew Nuka World was such a kind and accepting place ✨️

Hancock

"Hell yeah."

He's probably been came out to (comed out to...?) many many times in his life. This is just like talking about the weather with him

He can hook up Sole with anyone and anything they'll need if they want to transition - surgeons? Hormones? An old "totally safe and mostly functioning" auto-doc they keep in some random smelly corner of Goodneighbor? He's got it all covered.

He's pretty confident on Goodneighbor being a safe place to exist in, but if any drifter causes problems he WILL want to be first to hear about it so he can deal with them swiftly

All I'm saying is that there's no way Finn's the first asshole he's stabbed

Maccready

Immediate flashback to all the slurs he said as a young boy

Nah but for real the "worst" reaction Sole would get out of him is just "uhh...? Alright? Why are you telling me?" if they've still got the whole "Sole hired him" vibe going on

Otherwise once they've got a closer relationship with each other he's decently comfortable with it

I'm imagining him going to Daisy or someone else he knows like "I want to show Sole I actually give a shit about them what do trans people like"

Comes back with pink thigh highs and a blahaj for Sole. He doesn't even question it.

Clueless but he's trying his hardest!

Nick

The closest to a Normal Coming Out Experience Sole's gonna get

He'll listen, he'll tell them he's proud of them, he'll give them a hug if they ask

Would also offer to help Sole come out to anyone else if they're worried about doing it themself

Brings back a nice tasteful pride flag to put in his pencil holder or something

Supportive grandpa all around

I doubt Diamond City has too many assholes but he knows very well who to avoid and will make sure Sole's safe and comfortable

Probably nervous about helping Sole with their HRT injections if they ask, it's been a long while since he's gotten a shot and he doesn't remember how to do it

Piper

Little bit more sheltered due to living in Diamond City, will probably take the time to ask what that actually means in terms of their relationship

Like "Should I use a different name??? Pronouns??? Can I still call you dude if I use it in a gender neutral way???"

Once she's got it she's got it. Probably takes notes or some shit

Has enough connections that she'll be like "omg you'll get along so well with my friend's uncle's roommate, they're trans too!" or something equally as a random

Also WOULD make a news article vagueposting transphobes in the community. Will still respect Sole's privacy though, don't worry

Preston

Another member of the "expects the worst" when it comes to serious conversations. Probably panics when Sole asks to talk and then keeps panicking a bit wondering if they're only telling him because something bad happened

Sole's just gotta reassure him that they just wanted him to know, not that a settler's commited a hate crime or something

King of the passive-aggressive correction of pronouns if anyone misgenders sole. "He's the general?" "Yes, SHE'S the general" very pointedly

That kind of awkward but very sweet supportive vibe. Whenever Sole changes their outfit even slightly Preston immediately notices and is like "Looks good, general :)"

He puts up a pride flag in some public area of the settlement and tries to act all cool about it like "well I just want to make sure ALL settlers feel respected here" while secretly looking to see if Sole approves

Strong

I don't think Strong knows what a gender is. I don't think (Commonwealth) Supermutants have genders.

And honestly it'll probably just make him confused if Sole tries to explain it

Probably makes him a decent ally ngl. He won't question if Sole's appearance or voice changes. Hell he probably won't even notice

Is Strong the true #1 ally here???

X6-88

You know the "Hey girl I mean they" meme?

That's him the first time he tries to use sir/ma'am after Sole comes out. He's trying his hardest he just doesn't know what the gender neutral term is.

It's best if Sole just like, gives him a list of acceptable terms. Otherwise you might find him threatening someone who has the audacity to say "hey guys" while talking to a group that has Sole in it

He's also not great with emotional conversations but he will stand there and awkwardly nod to show his support.

Will find a pride flag somewhere and point at it stone-faced like "it's you." and then continue on.

The worst Sole will get is him criticizing their clothing for being suboptimal during battle

It doesn't matter if you're a HE, SHE, THEY, or IT, if you're going into battle YOU'RE WEARING ARMOR

[redgoldsparks]

I went all out for Hourly Comics Day 2025! These took between 6-7 hours to draw across three days, and then another at least hour to scan and edit which I wasn't in the mood to do which is why they are a week late lol. Had a wonderful time at Lumacon though and I'm glad I was able to document it! Transcript below the cut :)

insta / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my books / print store / bluesky

Page 1

7:50am: Alarm goes off

Morning phone: check eSIMs, insta, discord, Spanish vocab 

El tiene pelo largo 

Jonathan Van Ness, is that you…?

Drops App 

8am: My friends gave me a delicious new black tea that’s very easy to over steep 

3 minutes seemed too long, but 2:30 was a bit weak… I’ll try 2:45… 

Honestly, I prefer a tea where I can leave the bag in the whole time I drink the cup… 

For the first time in many years I’m actually doing something cool on hourly comics day! Today is Lumacon! This is the show’s 11th year- I think I’ve only missed 1. For the first time, it’s raining on con day!

Page 2

I’m so glad we had another avocado!

This bagel was so chunky I cut it into perfect thirds. Perfection

It’s so rare that I’m awake before my parents… SIP

Should I write about Larrupin sauce? My friend Alina buys this for me up in Humboldt since it’s hard to find… 

Every object/moment suggests a story when I’m paying attention! 

8 to 9am

Page 3 

Pick up Martina! Very cute raincoat (@martinamonster-art )

Chatting and Ateez on the drive 9 to 9:30

OMG why am I drawing cars :( 

LUMACON! 10-11AM 

My newest zine is a recruitment zine for Authors Against Book Bans (AABB). 

I zero in on folks I know to be authors–

Maia: I want you– 

Author: Me? 

Maia: To join AABB! (info zine)

Author: Oh thanks! I will! 

Maia: This zine is so fun to hand out!

Page 4 

Teen: Thank you so much for writing Gender Queen. I gave it to my mom and she credits it for a lot of her understanding. I came out as gender queer a year ago and she said “I love you.” I don’t know if that would have been possible without the book! 

Maia: Thank you for saying that! 

Different teen: I want to buy a copy of your book but I need to make more sales first. 

Maia: Where’s your table? 

Teen: Behind you 

Look. 

I spot some of the cutest round crochet bois I’ve ever seen including a nonbinary bee

Maia: Can I please trade you a book for that bee?! 

Teen: OMG yes! 

You know it’s a good trade when both parties think they got the better deal! 

12pm 

Page 5

I check in with Anna (@thebeanbaguette) 1pm 

Maia: How’s the con so far? 

Anna: Really good! I love how many furries are here! 

Maia: Oh yeah it’s fun

Maia: I had never seen the skull fursuit head before this show… for the size event it’s impressive furry turn out 

Cute goth/pastel couple 

Anna: To be honest, I’d love to get a fursuit head one day… and the hands! 

Anna: But I don’t know what animal…

(Table is covered in cute rats)

Later, another friend comments 

Cynthia: So many furries here! 

Maia: Yes, the per capita is very high… sign of a healthy ecosystem! 

(we all wore masks all day I just forgot to draw them) 

Page 6 

My friend Nic comes to visit & cover my table during my lunch break- 2pm

Nic: Don’t worry I’ll do my best impersonation of you! I’ll even sign books with your name!

Maia: Okay, great, thanks!

Maia: (Has not had water, snack or bathroom break in 6 hours)

Later we chat with Gio, another friend about knowing when a story is done

Maia: I had a publisher reject a pitch basically saying “this isn’t fully baked yet” which… was true. 

Nic: Unfortunately I’m doing that to myself! I’m on the 4th draft of this short story that just needs to be done. 

Gio: But when it’s a personal project how do you know? 

Gio: When it’s my own work, no deadline, no editor, it’s tempting to just keep putting it back in the oven. But at what point are you like, I’m making crackers. I thought it was bread but it turned into crackers! 

Page 7

3-4pm last hour of the con

My parents came! My Taekwondo teacher came! A trans teen who came to my first Gender Queer event in 2019 came! I saw so many friends & my heart is full! Thank you Luma! 

4:30

Maia: I think I’m ready to go…

Table: EMPTY

Martina: Me too! 

Maia & Martina: LOOK 

Anna- nothing packed, stuff fully out

Anna: Haha, you go! I pack slowly! 

In the parking lot & rain 

Maia: I’m really glad you came! 

Martina: Thanks for talking me into it! 

Martina: You’ve been manifesting this since September! 

Maia: Haha yes, 

(I talked both Martina & Anna into applying for this show; Martina’s first zinefest table! 

Page 8

5pm I drive home 

after all the rain, the ditches & fields are flooded 

Maia (texting): I just got home

Anna (texting): I haven’t left the venue yet

Page 9

6pm I should be unpacking but I’m lying in bed looking at my phone! 

Maia: Wow so many hourlies! I haven’t even started! I’d rather read them on tumblr & patreon later. How is my finch doing? 

Nic incepted our entire friend group into the finch app back in January. I’m pretty hooked. In the finch app you make a little bird persona who travels the world & gains experiences. You give it energy & earn points by crossing items off your to do list & completing self care tasks like stretching or drinking water. 

Maia: To be honest, I don’t really need an app to help me do tasks. But look how cute my bird is!!! Also! You can get pets for your bird! I have five! Owl, seal, caribou, ball of fluff, cow

Later, I pet my real cat. 

Maia: Don’t worry you are my actual favorite pet. 

Page 10 

7pm: Dinner with my parents. Big salad, fried tofu. We talk about clay deposits in odd places. 

My dad: There’s that Bentonite clay at Shell Beach! That’s the kind you want for poison oak rashes. 

My mom: And the deposit at school by the office, some teachers have kids use that for crafts. 

8pm: Formatting my January book reviews

I really like the monthly wrap-ups that Storygraph generates. 

Books: 11 Pages: 2855 Average Rating: 3.91

LGBTQIA: 5 Fantasy: 4 Comic: 4 Contemporary: 3 Romance: 3

9pm: I fall into the trap of looking at the news which I’ve avoided all day. Escape to tumblr where I discover some amazing Ranma ½ fanart. Should I reread it? 

10-12am: I draw the first 4 pages of these comics then go to bed! 

In total, drawing these takes 6 or 7 hours across 3 days. -Maia Kobabe 2025 

[artisimpossible]

My latest book is live on Kickstarter with a full cover reveal!

Here are 10 Reasons you should pledge to my kickstarter (or at least reblog this post!)

If less than 0.5% of the people who've bought my previous books pledge to the paperback tier, this book would be over-funded, so it's a very doable project but I need help finding those readers again!

I launched this Kickstarter because despite being award-winning and making impressive sales, I wasn't offered a living wage for my next YA book (which went to auction) so it felt counterintuitive to sell this adult book to a publisher that doesn't appreciate me.

The book is VERY queer! It's literally a drag queen romcom. Like, come on.

If you read Meet Cute Diary or Café Con Lychee, you'll get to revisit some characters you love in this one! If you haven't read either, you can still enjoy this one because it technically stands alone!

If we get enough backers, I can upgrade everyone's copies to include more art and higher quality editions!!!

Despite doing this entirely independently, the DDTO eBooks are MUCH cheaper than what's offered for my first two books by a major publisher, and if we get this Kickstarter fully funded, I should be able to offer my paperbacks cheaper too! More access, woo!!!

Helping indie creators achieve their goals is just cool. It's innovative.

The book has Studio Ghibli references and other nerd culture! I get to name drop Lil Nas X! It's just a fun time okay!

There is a nonbinary, trans masc character that I am 99% sure Tumblr is going to lose its absolute mind over, but WE'LL NEVER KNOW IF THIS DOESN'T FUND!

Seriously, let's just stick it to the multi-billion dollar corporation that begged me for my "Meet Cute Diary" sequel only to not even offer me a living wage, like how funny would that be y'all?

Anyway, we only have until Friday October 11th to get this funded so spread it far, spread it wide, spread it through the countryside, just help me get the word out pretty please? <3

[ally1uvsu]

Life was a willow, and it bent right to your wind. / Choi su-bong (Thanos) x Nam-gyu.

⨉⠀⠀─⠀⠀Series .⠀›⠀Trans Namgyu Week 2025⠀‎ꪆৎ day 1; gentle sex/praise

·⠀warnings info⠀· NSFW — . wc; 8.7k (good luck)

summary; Thanos’ life was boring, etiquette, classes, politics, as the heir of the throne his routine was the same for almost twenty one years. Never once had he considered marriage until his father had the idea to set him up with the princess of a nearby kingdom for an alliance. But maybe it wasn’t so bad after all when he got to know her brother, that intrigued him more than anything.

info; Ooc Thanos (DEFO), Alternative Universe - Kingdom, he's slightly more depressed but still a druggie, But tbh I think thats how he acts when sober, Formal language used, But they all (young ones) know how to use improper language, Namgyu is Mi-na's adoptive brother, trans namgyu, Trans Male Character, Love at First Sight, Semi-Public Sex, Mina and Thanos r lowk besties, Eventual Smut, pure filth, Mina is the #1 thagyu shipper, Penis In Vagina Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Dirty Talk, It's sweet tho, Praise, Bottom Namgyu, Top Thanos, Love Bites, Smoking, Mentions of drugs, Sex on a treehouse while it rains, Missionary Position, Cunnilingus, Cum Eating, Creampie, Hair-pulling, Vaginal Fingering, slightly pathetic Thanos, but he's also way more pathetic during sex, Begging because we love pathetic men, Softdom Thanos, Thanos Is Whipped, They're both lowk soft in this, Thanos POV, This is probably more of a sober Thanos char study, But still filthy imo, Thanos has grey-blue eyes ide what y'all say, Gentle Sex, Scars, Unsafe Sex, They're so stupid bro they're going to get pregnant, Sober thagyu!!!

notes; I recommend you all listen to willow (by taylor swift) while reading this ngl, it’s a vibe 🙏🙏 but gen, I hope y’all like this cuz I poured my soul into it 😭😭 also this is a little series I posted on ao3 and decided to post here!! Feel free to check it either here or there, it’s the same nametag<3

Learn about politics, carry on with your duties, listen to your father and mother lecture you, worry about ruling a kingdom, learning proper etiquette.. that was all part of Thanos' day.

To be fair, he didn't care anymore. He was burnt out, practically dragging himself to his duties, the only reason he did so was because he was high most of the time.

It was no wonder the young Prince began acting like such a rebel. His parents were pissed, sure. But did Thanos care? No.

Hell, he became as rebellious as he could. Dying his hair purple, acting all quirky and showing/expressing how he felt out loud, smoking, drinking.. and not even going by su-bong anymore.

His family didn't have a choice, though. Being an only child meant Thanos one way or another would inherit the throne, he would become a king someday and would have to watch over his people.

With a queen. That, speaking of which, his father has been looking for insanely. Thanos didn't get the fuzz of it, he didn't want to get it, no, not at all. It wasn't that Thanos didn't like women, quite frankly, he liked both as long as they fit his standards that weren't that high either.

The poor man just didn't want to be added into another pile of troubles, moreover of marrying a woman he didn't even know for business. But Thanos didn't have a choice, even if he was destined for the throne, his father was still the king and made the choices.

So, his father did the most logical thing ever, arrange a royal dinner for him to meet up with his future wife.

This was boring, he thought as he walked past the numerous doors in the castle. Head casted low and jaw set in slight frustration, it was around afternoon. He had to get ready soon, but God help him, Thanos didn't have the slightest bit of motivation.

But either way, he still went inside his room where the servants waited. They dressed him in one of his finest suits, expensive pieces of clothing that albeit expensive and fancy were nothing short of unnecessary.

They fixed his hair, not in a way Thanos normally wore but in a more neat way, it shouldn't have bothered Thanos as much as it did but hell, he preferred the way he messily adjusted his hair better.

And finally, lastly, he sprayed on some expensive cologne. It was one of the smells he didn't find repugnant, most of the overly priced perfumes the royal palace was packed with gave him a huge headache. This one was his favorite one, neutral and yet perceptible. Not too sweet, not too bland.

The sun casted golden lights throughout the floor of his bedroom, and the servants slowly but surely retreated, Thanos didn't even had to ask twice. Growing up for twenty years in the same room and same place with the same people- well, the ones that didn't get fired, at least. Made most of the servants know Thanos liked to be alone at times like this.

Getting out of the fixation he had with his eyes locked to a point on the wall, Thanos began rummaging through one of his drawers, the drawer of the nightstand that was kept right next to his bed.

Pulling a string at the very bottom of the drawer, he lifted it to find a hidden counterpart where he mostly kept a few drugs he managed to sneak into the castle. But today, since he couldn't really get high, he reached for the cigarette pack instead.

Alongside that, he grabbed a lighter. Feeling the familiar weight of it right on his back pocket, maybe he could take a smoke before dinner, the smell of it would just be masked by the ungodly amount of alcohol they'd be serving for the banquet.

So, instead of staying in the balcony where his father or mother were more prone to find him, Thanos walked out of his room.

Step by step, his chest grew heavier. He didn't want to do this, his parents couldn't care less about how he felt, it had been like this ever since he turned sixteen.

His fingers itched, maybe to cut into the already scarred skin he grew to be familiar with overtime. But instead, he dug his nails into his palms, the familiar stinging sensation bringing a weird sense of comfort to his heart, that felt somewhat lighter.

He snuck through the back door, footsteps as light as he could manage to get them in these shoes. He was greeted by a warm breeze, and the sight of all the trees that were planted in the back of the castle, which led to a small clearing.

He hadn't gone there since.. fuck, since he was eighteen. He remembered exactly all too well how and why he never went there anymore.

-

"Hey! Come on, don't be a slowpoke." A familiar voice rang onto his ears, and then he remembered another girl running towards the same clearing. She was a peasant, daughter of one of the servants in the palace.

His feet were moving as fast as they could manage to, lungs hurting and heart thumping oh so loudly in his ears, Thanos once again felt like he was fifteen and hopelessly in love with the girl.

He giggled, and as they ran through the trees of the clearing behind the castle, they stumbled upon a treehouse. It was a little old, sure, but it could manage.

They made memories in there, year after year, every spring until towards the very end of summer, Thanos and her would be meeting in that same treehouse.

It became his safe space, one he never would expect to become such a hollow place in his heart.

And yet, it did.

One certain morning, Thanos was up and about the castle, looking for her. Nearing the entrance of the palace where she normally stayed to read, he froze as he found her and her mother departing from the palace, bags in hands. She looked over her shoulder, sadness and perhaps even sorrow etched into her features.

Thanos wanted to reach out, to run and grasp her, to make her stay, tell her everything he always wanted to tell her.

But a familiar pair of arms that always made him feel sick to his stomach held him back. 'I don't want a son of mines to be involved with someone out of royalty.' His father said, and ever since then, the little joy Thanos had in his life was just dull. Thanos never went back to that clearing that they claimed as theirs ever again.

Before he even realized, his feet were planted right outside of that same treehouse. Thanos let out a shaky breath, looking down at his feet as if he could still hear and imagine all too well their giggles of joy.

-

Before he could second guess himself, Thanos was climbing up the old ladder carefully. Situating himself nearby the door, leaning against it as he closed his eyes. A long sigh left him as his now half-lidded eyes looked inside the treehouse.

Thanos had no strength whatsoever to look inside, he'd feel more drained than ever if he did. So he decided to just take a smoke before the sun dipped below the horizon, knowing it would be time to leave for that godforsaken banquet when it did.

He reached for a single cigarette, fingers dabbing the edge of the lighter until it turned on, then, he placed the butt of the cigarette against the flame. Watching it catch fire, and then the lighter was back in his pocket.

He brought the cigarette to his mouth, head falling against the edge of the entrance of that treehouse. Taking a long drag, he could feel the smoke everywhere, soothing and relaxing his brain as he closed his eyes.

His fingers then reached for the stick, pulling it out of his lips as he puffed the smoke out.

He wished this was different, he thought. Maybe in another universe he'd be just another peasant, in another universe he wouldn't have to worry about the lives of people in a kingdom, and most importantly- he could love whoever the fuck he wanted.

Again, Thanos was lost in that loophole of thoughts. Only truly snapping out of it when he felt a burn against his skin, earning a hiss from him. He looked at the butt of the cigarette who had accidentally pressed itself against his skin, and then he noticed it left a little mark on his sleeve. Whatever.

He threw the cigarette somewhere inside the treehouse, deciding it was maybe time to go back inside.

He followed the same familiar way, purposely taking longer than he usually did. Basically dragging his feet as he walked towards the dining room.

He dreaded that place, he hated everyone in there. And he hated the girl that was possibly going to be his future wife.

His parents looked frantic as they finally spotted him, Thanos had to hold back a scowl. "— oh Jesus, where were you?! We were so worried you wouldn't show up, what even took you that long?" His mother said as she searched his face, Thanos only forced out a small smile.

"You made the right choice in coming, we all know that." His father said, voice in a low tone and authoritative as always. He looked at Thanos up and down, and then landed on the cigarette burn on his sleeve. His mother did the same, and she gasped.

"Su-bong! Were you smoking again? Aish, you know you have to be perfect! How will the lady take a liking to you like this?!" The woman said as she swatted on his sleeve, attempting to undo the harm caused to the fabric.

"Mom, it'll be fine— I.. I'll make sure to get along with her, okay?" Thanos shook his head, throat forming in a lump as he forced out a smile.

Surprisingly, his mom bought it. And he was met with her proud and bright smile as she beamed, exclaiming praises to him like her words many times were the exact opposite.

Their attention was dragged to the signals of the guards, a sign that the other family of royals had finally arrived. Thanos took a deep breath, controlling the urge to itch and scratch at his skin since he didn't have anything else.

A forced polite smile found its way to his lips as people began to flood inside the palace, face after face that Thanos didn't even bother memorizing, after all he was only here because of the princess he was supposed to marry.

And then, lastly, after so many unimportant people, came the princess and her family. Thanos caught the eye of a young man that intrigued him, wearing a navy suit and rushing past the doors not bothering with formality, maybe he was just forced to be here.

Thanos politely bowed before Mi-na, taking her hand and pressing her knuckles to his lips. She smiled at him, but between them, it all felt too fake. And despite only knowing each other for seconds, she seemed to know it, too.

"It is a pleasure to see you here, my lady." Thanos said as smoothly and gently as he could as he straightened up. "The pleasure is mines." She said with a returned smile, "Well, then shall we?" And with the nod of her head, Thanos took her arm and looped it around his, both of them walking in measured steps in their uncomfortable and unnecessary pieces of clothing towards the huge table where dinner would be served.

It doesn't take them that long to get there, given the sheer distance of the entrance to the dining room, and it leaves him room to fall back into his old habits of doing...well, nothing. He glances at the gardens outside the large windows, the darkness basically coating almost everything. Vividly recalling the smell of lilacs the beautiful royal guard posed. He looks at his feet and notices the lack of noise they make against the carpeted floors. He stares at the walls, taking note of the same patterns he's seen for basically his entire life.

And then, finally, big doors swing open to reveal the dining room. Loud chatter of people talking about politics or completely useful shit reach both of their ears, flowers mixing with each other every ten inches across the table in their assigned pots.

Everything was neatly set down, from plates, to the forks sitting there. This all feels way too overwhelming for Thanos, but he doesn't have the option to back down, not exactly- at least.

And then he hears his name being called, Mi-na's voice snapping him back to reality. Remembering he should be focused on Mi-na, his future wife all the time. "We should sit nearby our parents, shouldn't we?" The sweetness in her voice nearly intoxicated him, and Thanos had to control himself not to gag. "Sure, indeed we should."

And then Thanos was pulling the chair for her, once she was sat down and accommodated, he pushed the chair back against the table, not too far or too close. And finally, he sat down.

"Oh, don't they make a lovely pair?" A voice said before they even could get too awkward, it was Mi-na's mother. "Ah, thank you, your majesty. But I'm afraid nothing can beat how much of a beautiful couple you and your husband make. It is no wonder your daughter is just as beautiful as your union."

Thanos wasn't sure when he began to get polite or poetic, but frankly? He was just going with the flow, doing whatever he needed to be done, done.

"What a lovely young man you have raised, Soo-ah! Oh, I just know they'll get along so well. And not only that, it will be a huge benefit to both kingdoms!" Said Mi-na's mother, their fathers, on the other hand were too focused talking politics.

Dinner was served not too long after, everything looked delicious, many of them were eating as much as they could. Thanos, on the other hand couldn't seem to have an appetite. Every bite felt like a chunk of stale bread going down his throat, but he forced everything down, nobody could and should know.

The air felt far too suffocating, but lucky to him, Mi-na finally spoke up. "Mother, is it okay if me and Su-bong retreat somewhere.. quieter to chat? I'm afraid I can barely hear him."

Mi-na was sly, she knew her mom nor Thanos' mom or anyone really, was paying attention to if they had been talking or not. She was met with a permission to do so and a huge smile of her mother, as she tugged Thanos away by the arm, she could hear her excited but yet still calm and serene squeals of joy.

Stepping outside to the courtyard, both of them felt like they could finally breathe, that was much visible.

Mi-na barely knew the garden of this palace, but she still followed wherever her mind suggested her to go and ended up finding a small bench nearby a fountain, with the view to the window that gave them a look from the inside.

Thanos felt the silence grow awkward and suffocating, despite the new cold breeze hitting his face. Since Thanos didn't look like he was about to speak, Mi-na did first. "You don't look so pleased with this." It was stated almost matter of factly, was he seriously that easy to read?

Thanos only hummed in response, nevertheless. She could take it however she interpreted it. "Look, I'm not the happiest either, even if I look like it." Thanos' head perked up at that, brows furrowing. Normally, most girls would be dying to throw themselves in his arms.

As if sensing his confusion, Mi-na decided to just spill the beans. If she was truly destined to marry this man, the least she could do was tell him something very important about her, right? And if he didn't like it, well.. he'd have to get over it. "I'm a lesbian."

Thanos nearly choked on spit, eyes wide. And Mi-na burst out laughing, was it really THAT unbelievable?

"Wait- wait! You like girls?! Then why are you into the whole arranged marriage thing?" Thanos' mouth gaped open, he looked fucking stupid.

Mi-na, who was still recovering from her laughing fit, wiped invisible tears from the corner of her eyes as she smiled. "Fuck, you should have seen your face!" She said as she laughed just a bit more, recomposing herself. "I didn't have a choice, that's the thing. The economy in our kingdom is shit and we needed to join kingdoms with another to expand territory, which would be a benefit added to your kingdom, and then the economy part is better for us."

Mi-na explained, a mischievous smile finding its way into her lips. "Plus, there's one of the knights back home that I can't lie, she's nothing short of breathtaking." Mi-na had her eyes set on Se-mi, the aloof

Thanos thought he was doomed, but shit, a lesbian? Not that he had anything against them, Thanos himself knew he was bi, despite never trying anything with a dude. He just.. knew.

"And I thought I was the only one uncomfortable." Thanos snorted playfully, finally being able to properly breathe and use humor. "No, I swear to you, I was dreading coming here." Mi-na replied.

"Don't you have anyone, tho? Like, some sort of prohibited romance or anything?" Mi-na asked curiously, and Thanos stayed quiet.

Instead of holding her gaze, his eyes locked towards the window. Watching the blur of colors and people move inside, the chatter was still heard but not as loud. And then, his eyes locked into a young man- the same young man he saw enter the palace before.

For a second, Thanos was starstruck. His lips parted as he observed him up and down, his jaw nearly going slack. He was gorgeous, fuck, yes he was. His hair went down to the back of his skull, pin straight, with bangs tucked neatly behind his ears. His face was.. shit, his face was the most beautiful one Thanos had ever seen.

And when he finally caught a glimpse of his eyes, eyes that made him look almost like a cat, Thanos swore he forgot all about the girl he constantly was sad over.

But, he snapped out of it when Mi-na began snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Hello? Earth to Su-bong? Jeez, you made me talk all by myself, were you even listening?" She said a tad annoyedly.

"Who is he?" Thanos finally managed the words out, his mind snapped the perfect picture of the raven haired man, and he probably wouldn't be able to get it out anytime soon.

Mi-na looked shocked for a second, and then she began laughing ever harder. "You mean my brother? Pfft, do you even have a taste at all? He looks like a fucking wet rat!" Mi-na exclaimed between laughter, and Thanos despite knowing he shouldn't, felt the tip of his ears grow hot.

"Hey! Instead of judging me, can you at least tell me his name?" Thanos huffed, crossing his arms. "It's Nam-gyu, Roh Nam-gyu. The knights found him crying by his parents' body when he was a kid in a battlefield during war years ago, and we took him in. Hell, it's been eighteen excruciating years with him, we developed a sibling bond either way."

Now Thanos felt slightly guilty, he pitied himself sometimes even if it wasn't much- but Nam-gyu had lost his parents. "Oh, damn.." Thanos mumbled, and shook his head, not wanting to dampen the mood.

"You have a thing for him? I can set you guys up!" Mi-na said almost excited, practically formulating plans in her mind already.

"Hell yeah." Thanos blurted our, not expecting her to take it THAT seriously, but it wasn't like Thanos would mind being set up with him. "I'll do it! Don't worry, you're in good hands, oh my god finally that rat will have someone!" Mi-na squealed, clapping her hands excitedly.

And then, the sounds of footsteps faintly away were heard, and both of them were surprisingly quick to recompose themselves. "Your highnesses, my apologies for the interruption. But your parents, both of them, request the two of you inside."

One of the maids said quite gently, a gentle and warm smile gracing her old features as she retreated upon completing her mission, which was to deliver the message.

Thanos eyed Mi-na, who merely nodded as with a heavy and tired sigh, they looped their arms together and got ready to face the reality of the situation. She was a princess, he was a prince. No amount of acceptance over each other would ever change that fact.

They both sat down in their designed spots, Thanos assumed it wasn't that bad since the chatter decreased continuously. "My friends, thank you all for being present here today!.."

Thanos just zoned out, not caring if it was important or not.

He thought life was just boring, wake up, get dressed, eat, etiquette lessons, school lessons, read, read some more, get in dinner attire, eat with family, go to the golden cage that is his bedroom, fall asleep and repeat that again the next day and do that for almost 21 years.

Even if Mi-na got it, again, they'd still have to get married and accept their roles as king and queen of the nation.

With all his thoughts jumbling up into a mess in his head, Thanos focused on a point somewhere in the hallway. It was something out of habit he got whenever his father lectured him when he was too drunk, or when he started speaking crap. The royal family wasn't as kind and merciful as it seemed.

Even if he tuned out the sounds of his father speaking, his ears picked the faintest sounds of rain clattering against the windows, light at first, and then heavy. In his transfixed gaze, he managed to see a familiar silhouette wearing a navy blue suit sneak into the hallway and beginning to fast walk away.

Thanos recognized that as Nam-gyu.

He tapped Mi-na's thigh, and Mi-na got the hint. She pinched his thigh as a sign for him to go, and Thanos excused himself with a saying that it was an urgent matter.

While leaving, he managed to hear his father say that due to the weather conditions that were prone to only worsen, all of the guests would have a room in the palace to rest until it was safe to carry on to a trip back home.

Thanos however, was too focused on quietly trailing after the mysterious raven haired man that moved quietly but quickly through the oh so familiar halls of the castle.

Thanos couldn't exactly explain what attracted him so much to Nam-gyu rather than how fucking handsome he was. Nam-gyu looked rough on the surface, and yet easy to read- to cut through his story like a knife.

And yet, Thanos probably wouldn't know from the look on his face, judging by how stoic Nam-gyu looked albeit often using humor and sarcasm when talking to others.

But then again, Thanos would like to lose himself in that current of mysteries Nam-gyu looked like he was, like a mere cheap and priceless wine. The way Nam-gyu moved, how secretive he was.. it was as if he was begging for someone to follow him.

And Thanos would gladly do so, hell, his normally bland and hollow life was begging for Nam-gyu to take his hand and wreck all of the plans his father ever had planned for him.

After what felt like an eternity walking through the hallways full of paintings of unfamiliar faces and landscapes, he finally reached the back door. It was slightly ajar, did Nam-gyu know he was being followed? The thought made a slight pit of anxiety and excitement begin to grow in his stomach, a question, though, ran through his mind; what was Nam-gyu doing outside in the rain?

Before he could even second guess himself, he was stepping out. Feeling the raindrops fall and clatter against his clothing, wetting the fabric, his hair, his shoes.. basically everything.

And Nam-gyu was standing right in the entrance of the clearing, back to Thanos. How the hell could someone be so fast? Thanos wouldn't pry, his curiosity and desire to know Nam-gyu overpowered any of his side quest questions.

With slow, measured and tentative steps above the soil that slowly began to squelch under his expensive shoes, he finally reached Nam-gyu. Neither of them spoke, and for a second, Thanos began to believe it was a bad idea following after the other.

But Nam-gyu simply chuckled, turning his head to the side to meet Thanos' gaze. "You're not as quiet as you think you are, dude." Nam-gyu said, patting Thanos' gaze. "Aren't you supposed to be with Mi-na? I mean, you're getting married to her."

Thanos just shrugged, and began walking ahead. To his surprise, Nam-gyu followed. "I'm not fond of the idea to marrying her, don't get me wrong, she's cool. But one, she's a lesbian, and two, I don't think I'm ready." Thanos said briefly, following the path to the treehouse where they could privately talk rather than being listened to if they went back inside the palace.

"Oh, she told you? Damn, you must be pretty chill for her to tell you on the first day." Nam-gyu said without really questioning where they were going, he didn't mind how the rain was getting him all wet but he preferred to talk somewhere where they weren't getting soaked.

"Yeah.. she told me she's in love with some knight back to where you both live." Thanos said curtly but not totally humorless, not minding details as he began going up the ladder, and suddenly he was fucking glad that he had the roof and walls padded to keep the place intact ever since his old childhood crush left, they wouldn't get wet.. even if their clothes were nearly soaking due to the heavy rain.

Soon enough, both men were in a comfortable silence, sitting down on the floor of the old but familiar treehouse, at least to Thanos.

And then, he remembered. Reaching for the wood counter the treehouse contained, Thanos pulled out the cigarette pack and lighter he previously had left here before going down to dinner.

But he was no asshole, so of course, he offered one to Nam-gyu. "You want one?" He asked before lighting one stick up and holding it between his lips. "Hell yeah." The reply made Thanos grin, Nam-gyu was far more fun than Thanos called him out for in the beginning.

So, he lit another stick and handed it to Nam-gyu. Sitting next to him with his legs sprawled. The room fell into silence once again, the only sounds were the heavy rain clattering against the hard wood of the treehouse, the squelching of their shoes whenever one of them moved, and the soft puffs of the cigarettes.

"Isn't it too burdening? I mean, being the heir to the throne and all." Nam-gyu finally asked, and Thanos was taken aback. Nobody ever bothered to ask anything about that, not even if Thanos was fine. But he didn't lie, surprisingly he didn't feel the urge to do so. "It is, and honestly, if I could? I would get out of royalty. Be someone normal, I hate this formal shit and etiquette, I wish I could be more free, y'know?"

Thanos said quickly, basically rambling out what had been kept inside his chest for so long. He sighed, slumping his shoulders. Nam-gyu didn't seem to mind, not at all. Instead, the other man only patted his shoulder in an act of comfort.

"I'm sorry, man. It was never your choice, but hey, at least Mi-na isn't that bad despite calling me a wet rat." Nam-gyu let out a laugh that was half humorless half genuine. Matter of fact, he did look like he had a great sibling bond with Mi-na, just like she previously had mentioned.

Thanos looked to the side, meeting Nam-gyu's gaze. And once again, his lips parted upon staring into those eyes shaped almost like a cat's, Nam-gyu had the most beautiful black eyes Thanos ever has seen.

He didn't reply whatsoever, he was transfixed into those warm and dark orbs, and Nam-gyu stared back, right into his own grey eyes. It was involuntary how he looked down at Nam-gyu's lips and back to his eyes, and even more so when Nam-gyu did the same.

Thanos was fed up- deciding screw it, he couldn't be miserable forever, could he?

With the consent that Nam-gyu was on the same page as him, Thanos tilted his head to the side slightly and kissed him. It felt good, the blood rushed from his veins in a rapid pace and making his heart thump in his ears.

He felt teeth sink into his bottom lip, making him moan and open his mouth. Both of their tongues fought for dominance and yet danced in a beautiful symphony, and Thanos felt weirdly alive. His life was nothing but a willow, and it bent right into Nam-gyu's wind.

He felt hands, long fingers, dig into his scalp. His hands instinctively gripped Nam-gyu's hips, leaning forward slightly as they kept up their little make out session.

The cigarettes were long forgotten on the floor, already put out. That fire was out, but another was ignited within them both.

The lack of air made them separate, both chests heaved as their lungs worked to suck in as much as they could. Thanos stared at Nam-gyu, how his lips got all wet and red, and he didn't even give him time to breathe, he leaned in for another kiss. Kind of desperate, sloppy even. But the two of them were too comfortable to care.

Nam-gyu was the one to break the kiss, this time. Looking at Thanos in the eyes. "We shouldn't be doing this, you'll likely be engaged to my sister." Nam-gyu panted, and yet still gave Thanos a chaste kiss. They exchanged kisses between words, their actions in themselves were a whole contradiction. "She's a lesbian, and I want you. We both know this is for the greater good of both kingdoms." Thanos uttered back, and none of them touched the topic again as their lips clashed together, this time in a far more softer and romantic symphony.

Thanos traced his kisses downwards, kissing the corner of Nam-gyu's lips, his jaw, peppering gentle kisses there. And then finally, he connected them to Nam-gyu's neck. Thanos wasn't stupid to leave prominent marks, the marks he sucked on the other's neck was close to the juncture of his shoulders, descending to his collarbones as he unbuttoned his undershirt, all while Nam-gyu let out pants and moans here and there. Thanos found that to be the most beautiful sound ever.

His hands never really stayed still, either. One of them slid under the wet fabric of Nam-gyu's wet vest and undershirt, caressing the skin there gently. He pulled his lips back from Nam-gyu's collarbone to kiss the other again, it was something Thanos began growing fond of. Nam-gyu's lips were warm against his, so full of life and comforting.. it just felt right.

Thanos fingers' nimbly worked on Nam-gyu's vest and white undershirt, exposing inch by inch of wet skin caused by the rain, and yet, on the last button, Nam-gyu held his wrist. "Wait."

So Thanos waited, everything to make this as comfortable as he could for both of them if they really were going to do this. "You should know something, I'm not sure if you're okay with it but it's.. y'know, whatever." Nam-gyu didn't really know a better way to name it, so he just stuck to what he normally would say in awkward topics. Nam-gyu took a deep breath as the other watched, lips pursing and then finally, he let it out. "I don't.. have a thing, y'know? I'm transgender."

Thanos' mind was conflicted for a little, but can you blame him? He only grew up with the basic terms. Lesbian? Sure, two women who like each other, Gay? Two men who like each other. Bi? Liking both genders, but transgender?

Judging by how Nam-gyu said he didn't have a dick, though. Thanos guessed transgender people went by the opposite gender they were born as, and Thanos found that he didn't care. Which in return, made him realize he didn't want only Nam-gyu's body, because he didn't care however he looked. He just wondered how people in his kingdom accepted him, being the prince and all that.. it was likely he was already like this when he was found and nobody knew, but maybe he was open about it.

"Only Mi-na knows, she helps me when it's.. important days, but it's fine if you don't want to keep going, I get it—" Nam-gyu began again, looking a tad nervous to say so at least.

"I still want you." Thanos chimed in before Nam-gyu could get too nervous, and then he was unbuttoning the rest of Nam-gyu's wet undershirt. He swore he saw a huge look of surprise and maybe even joy cross Nam-gyu's face, it made him feel good. But he wouldn't press on it, too focused on the goal.

Nam-gyu was like a painting, the prince thought. Every piece of him was pure art, admiring and stripping him like this felt like observing an exquisite work of art. If Nam-gyu was one in a literal way, Thanos wouldn't mind wasting too much money on him. He would be one of the few far too overpriced stuff he'd buy in the blink of an eye.

Thanos saw scars, that's the first thing he noticed. He guessed these were from when he was younger, from the times in war. And then, he had two scars just below his chest. Thanos guessed he got it removed at some point, Nam-gyu always seemed to find a way to things, and that fascinated Thanos.

"You're so beautiful." Thanos uttered, thumb running over a few of the scars so gently he swore he could see goosebumps rise on Nam-gyu's skin. "Idiot, just get to the point, you're seriously making me throb." Nam-gyu hissed, sounding really more needy than annoyed or pissed.

"Someone's eager." Thanos teased, and yet didn't waste time to slip one of his hands down Nam-gyu's pants without really giving a warning, he chased Nam-gyu's lips, feeling the other being way more than hapy to comply.

His hand however, dipped inside Nam-gyu's boxers, and was surprised to find that Nam-gyu wasn't joking when he meant he needed it. He was practically dripping, hell, ‘I think I love you’ was the first thing passing Thanos' mind.

Two of his fingers found his clit, pressing down on it and rubbing slow, measured circles that were just enough to drag pleasured moans out of Nam-gyu, who was finally getting what he wanted.

The stimulation, albeit not much, was relieving. Considering how much he had been throbbing just from some sweet words.. Nam-gyu was fucking filthy for it but could you blame him? Not really.

"Shit.. yeah— like that." He said in a mix between a moan and a hiss between his gritted teeth, head throwing back in another moan that was muffled by the heavy rain outside when finally, he felt a finger dip inside of him. It took all of his possible willpower to not grind down against it, he never noticed initially how long Thanos' fingers actually were, but feeling it right now? Nam-gyu would think his fingers were enough to get him off perfectly.

Thanos slowly moved that finger in and out, swapping the same finger that had been on Nam-gyu's clit for his thumb, drawing moan per moan from the other. Once he was completely sure he was okay with just one finger, he slid another in. This time, he actually felt Nam-gyu clench around them, not being able to stop the string of moans falling from his lips.

"Shit, you're so wet— are you always this responsive?" Thanos was almost mesmerized by the man below him; and Nam-gyu relished in the attention. Feeling Thanos scissor him open while still genuinely fucking him in his fingers. "Not for many." Nam-gyu replied and Thanos' heart stuttered, a stupid grin finding its way to his lips.

Fueled by those words, he swapped from just prying him open to actually drawing out Nam-gyu's pleasure with his fingers solely. Driving his fingers up fast, and Nam-gyu nearly saw stars when Thanos was quick to find that certain spongy spot inside of him. If the rain wasn't enough to keep him quiet, the way Thanos began kissing him like he was starving for this would be more than enough.

The sounds of squelching every time his fingers move didn't go by unnoticed between their sessions of heated kisses, Thanos groaned against Nam-gyu's lips. Thanos was genuinely surprised on how wet Nam-gyu was and they barely had done anything much.

Thanos genuinely couldn't keep his mouth off of Nam-gyu, as soon as the kiss ended, his mouth was in one of his nipples. Tongue latching on it in a complete different pace from how his fingers moved, he was so transfixed he almost didn't get Nam-gyu's words. He mainly only got it because of how sweetly Nam-gyu moaned his name out, and Thanos swore he could faint. "Su-bong— oh, fuck! G-go faster, ah—"

"You're an angel." Thanos blurted out before he could stop himself, Nam-gyu seemed taken aback, but it didn't last long as Thanos indulged in his request. The pressure on his clit became harsher, constant, too. His fingers were fucking inside of him so well Nam-gyu couldn't stay fucking quiet. His eyes shut tight, thighs squirming and almost nearly clenching as he felt a warm coil in his core, bringing him closer and closer and closer until it snapped.

"Su-bong, oh- shit, oh my god!— I'm.." His words were like his state, messy. Messy as he threw his head back with moans he couldn't hold back, Thanos moaned against Nam-gyu's neck as he kept fucking his fingers into the other while he came, almost desperate to drag out any pleasure he could from him. Only truly slowing down to a stop when Nam-gyu was merely fluttering around his fingers.

Nam-gyu was panting, his stomach was full of butterflies and he felt alive. He whined as he felt Thanos slip his fingers out, he just had one of the best orgasms of his life but Nam-gyu was known for being a greedy man. He needed more. "Su-bong—" "I've got you."

Nam-gyu didn't even have time to express his needs, Thanos was already working on his pants and pulling them down alongside his boxers. The cold air hit his wet skin, but it was surprisingly warm despite the breeze making him slightly cold.

Thanos admired Nam-gyu like a fine piece of art, and Nam-gyu couldn't help but feel his ears flush. He wasn't used to this. "Asshole, stop looking at me with those eyes." But Nam-gyu enjoyed the attention.

"Well, what can I say? It's not everyday someone who looks like an angel is naked on my treehouse." Thanos said teasingly but he meant it. He really did. "Just fuck me." Nam-gyu whined, and if those words don't make Thanos groan, heat pulsating through him, then it's the way Nam-gyu's looking at him that does it. Eyes wet with unshed tears, face flushed and chest heaving, he's a vision, a plea written all over his face, and Thanos would be damned if he didn't indulge in what he wanted.

Thanos worked off his clothing that clung to his skin insistingly, every piece discarded somewhere on the floor, at least they could try to dry. Nam-gyu's lips parted, Thanos wasn't huge but hell, he was big. And he wanted him- no. He needed him, he probably would die (which is just him being dramatic) if he had to wait any longer when he swore he was so horny it was affecting the way he was thinking. "Come on, please."

"You're so impatient." Thanos said, almost amused. A shaky sigh leaving his lips as he stroked himself a few times before kneeling in front of Nam-gyu. His hands gently spread his thighs apart, to which the other complied. Gathering slick and Nam-gyu's release with the tip of his dick, Thanos had to really hold back to not cum just from the sight of Nam-gyu. He looked absolutely blissed out. "Su-bo—" Before Nam-gyu even had time to protest, Thanos slid the tip in, a moan leaving both of them at the sudden but not unwelcome sensation.

Thanos' hands held Nam-gyu's hips, grounding him down as he tried to genuinely have any sort of control over himself. The way Nam-gyu moaned and panted was doing absolutely no good for him, but he kept going nevertheless.

He began moving in slow, gentle thrusts. Not to move but to ease himself in, each inch sunken down to Nam-gyu's cunt just made him feel weirdly stuffed, so full, but full in a good way.

The air was filled with labored breathing and moans from both sides as Thanos kept sliding himself in, and then finally, he bottomed out.

Thanos felt like he could finally breathe, and if he thought he looked bad, hell, Nam-gyu looked completely out of it.

His eyes were screwed shut, his lips swollen from the making out session they had few minutes ago, hickeys bloomed on his neck where it was easy to hide. He was flushed, and he looked so fucking blissed out, genuinely happy, Thanos would say.

"Shit.. Su-bong, you're in so deep." Nam-gyu moaned, he could feel how his body naturally put the effort to accommodate around the other's dick, but either way, he felt stuffed. Not too much, not too little, he felt stuffed to the brim but yet not enough to push him over the breaking point. "I know, just breathe f'me okay? Relax." Thanos murmured, littering kisses over Nam-gyu's face. He felt corny, but honestly? It felt right, and whatever felt right and good, he'd do it.

"Please." Was all Nam-gyu ever needed to say to have Thanos moving.

He set for a slow pace, and yet it was also deep. Each drag of his cock along Nam-gyu's gummy walls felt heavenly, he could do this forever. Have Nam-gyu around him forever, shit, he'd probably go against his father if it meant having Nam-gyu like this, underneath him and blissed out anytime they both wanted.

Nam-gyu's head lolled back against the floor, not having anywhere to grab, he opted for Thanos's shoulders, gripping either sides in a strong grip to have some leverage for himself. "Please- please go faster, I'll lose my fucking mind—"

Nam-gyu was surprised as Thanos complied with his request quickly, maybe far too quickly but he couldn’t care less. He swore he felt his eyes rolling back, endless moans and pleas falling from his lips even if he wasn’t aware of what he was begging for.

“Look at you, taking it so well, hm?” Thanos said with that stupid grin on his face, but in reality, he was really just overwhelmed by the whole situation. In a good way, of course.

“You’re so desperate, how long has it even been for you?” Thanos said as he hooked one arm under Nam-gyu’s knee, throwing it over his shoulder and if Nam-gyu thought he couldn’t go any deeper, with how he was arranged right now Thanos actually managed to push further. Stars burst from behind his eyelids, nails scraping Thanos’ shoulders, “What would they think? The princess’ brother getting his needy pussy filled by the man his sister is supposed to marry, how do you think they’d react?”

Thanos whispered these words onto Nam-gyu’s ear, and he knew he wasn’t going overboard, not with how Nam-gyu clenched around him with every word. “I bet you’d like them to know, wouldn’t you?” Thanos said with a smirk, he wasn’t sure how he was managing to control himself so well, it took all of his willpower, really. The second he was in, he had to hold back to not cum right that instant.

Nam-gyu nodded, hell yes he’d like them to know. “Yes, yes—” He moaned, everything overwhelmed his senses, from how deep Thanos fucked into him, to how he felt close to another orgasm, to Thanos’ words.. it all made a heady cocktail in his brain that was nearly bordering too much.

“It’s okay, though. Because you look handsome during it.” Thanos uttered, leaving kisses all over Nam-gyu’s neck.

Nam-gyu wrapped his leg that wasn’t over Thanos’ shoulder around his hip, pulling him flush against himself. Nam-gyu felt as if he was being pounded into next week, but did he mind that? Not at all. He felt so close, just a little bit more and he’d cum— “Su-bong.. please, I wanna cum, please.” He whined, really the only sentence he managed to properly say since Thanos slid inside.

“Shh, I’ve got you.” Thanos mumbled, one of his hands reaching for Nam-gyu’s clit. Two of his fingers rubbing and circling it in the same pace, or almost the same pace, he fucked himself into Nam-gyu. “I’m close too, just hold on a bit, yeah?”

The air was filled with sounds of skin slapping against skin, it was nothing short of filthy. But nobody needed to know, right? Only the rain would know. “Look at you- shit!” Thanos groaned, Nam-gyu was pulsing constantly around his dick, his insides pulling him in as if his body never wants to let him go. “You look so handsome around my dick.. it’s a million or more worth of wons sight.” Thanos said through gritted teeth.

“Su-bong, fuck.. I’m gonna—” Nam-gyu moaned, barely handling how much he was near the edge, it was a huge overwhelming feeling that he didn’t know whether it was more painful or just pleasurable. “Shit, okay.. fuck, cum on my dick then, shit!”

And that was all Nam-gyu genuinely needed before he began gushing around Thanos, nails scraping hard against his shoulders and his back arching, it was all so good Nam-gyu would guess he was nearly floating. Thanos wasn’t any better, he was basically blabbering as his thrusts grew sloppy, hips stuttering as he fucked Nam-gyu throughout his whole orgasm. “In or out?”

Nam-gyu didn’t have much time to register or think, he just went with what his heart wanted, screw all logic. “In, please, just cum in me.” Nam-gyu said breathless.

Thanos wasn’t sure how he didn’t lose his mind at that plea, but his hands gripped the other’s hip and thigh where he had been steadying him so tight he would think it’d bruise, but none of that mattered.

He pulled back one last time, and then finally, as he buried himself as far as he could go, he came. Panting against Nam-gyu’s shoulder, letting go of his leg and just hugging his waist.

They stayed like that for a while, maybe minutes, maybe hours. It felt like a nice eternity, both of them were blissed out. The soft padding of the rain against the treehouse made the atmosphere feel serene and calm, and once their breaths regulated, Thanos straightened up slightly.

“That might have been the best fuck of my life.” Thanos said with a chuckle after sucking in a long breath, and it drew out a laugh from Nam-gyu along the way. “I can say the same, shit, I don’t think I’ll be walking straight for a few days.” The older man said with a playful scoff.

Thanos simply smiled, in that moment, he actually felt happy. He let out a contented sigh as he began pulling out, wincing and hearing a few gasps from the other beneath him as he did so.

Once he was fully out, Thanos was left to see the aftermath. And Nam-gyu looked gorgeous.

His skin was flushed, his previously neat hair was all mused and sticking to his sweaty forehead. He had marks on him, marks Thanos inflicted and nobody would know. His eyes were teary, his lips were red and wet, his cum dribbled out of him.

Thanos looked at Nam-gyu, who looked back at him, seemingly confused by the look on Thanos’ face, and then the other ducked his head between his legs, making Nam-gyu nearly yelp.

“Son of a bitch, I’m still sensitive-” Nam-gyu complained, and he was tired, too. “I’m just cleaning you up.” Thanos replied innocently, when in truth he just needed a taste of Nam-gyu, even if he’d taste himself in the process.

Without any further complaints, Thanos licked a stripe over Nam-gyu’s slit, feeling one of his hands tangle in his hair.

Thanos wouldn’t tease, and he’d also be as careful as he could to not overwhelm the other so much. Pressing a gentle kiss to his clit, Thanos finally slid his tongue in.

The taste wasn’t so bad, it was neutral. A little tangy, musky, but it wasn’t bad. Dedicating himself to cleaning Nam-gyu up, Thanos alternated between tongue fucking him to catching as much of their releases as he could.

Nam-gyu was moaning and panting above him, thighs tightening around Thanos’ head. Even if the intention was to just clean him up, it was inevitable how sensitive he felt, but it somehow still managed to feel good. It was as if Thanos had a way to make everything feel good.

Thanos on the other hand was just enjoying himself, finding this better than anything he did to relax. Even when he was sure he was done with his work, he latched onto that sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking on it gently and earning a whine from Nam-gyu. “It’s too much..” the other said as his thighs tightened around his head. “You can do one more for me, come on, handsome. I know you can.” Thanos’ words were muffled against Nam-gyu’s cunt but yet still audible.

Thanos didn’t do much, just really alternating between sucking and flattening his tongue against Nam-gyu’s clit, judging by how sensitive he knew he was, it wouldn’t take too long for him to cum.

Thanos rubbed one of Nam-gyu’s thighs gently, feeling them tighten around his head as Nam-gyu’s moans not only grew louder in volume but in pitch, and then he was finally coming again.

Thanos caught every single drop, or whatever he could catch, with his mouth. Busying himself as Nam-gyu tugged at his hair in an almost painful grip that Thanos didn’t mind at all.

Once his third and last orgasm subsided, Thanos leaned his head into one of Nam-gyu’s thigh. Watching how his chest heaved and his eyes struggled to stay open as he attempted to calm the shockwaves running throughout his body, Thanos simply smiled at the sight.

Once their eyes locked after a few seconds, Nam-gyu wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or amused by the stupid expression on Thanos’ face. “You look dumb.” He snorted. “Wasn’t what you were saying when I was deep into you few seconds ago.” Thanos retorted, joining in. “..You’re playing dirty.”

Thanos simply laughed it off and straightened up, wiping the remaining glistening juices from his chin with the back of his hand as he lay next to Nam-gyu, one arm draped over his waist as they faced each other.

For a few minutes, they just stared at each other. Eyes filled with a feeling none of them could decipher, love? Longing? Passion? The two of them were too tired to decipher.

As the minutes ticked by, none of them spoke up until Nam-gyu remembered the others would probably be looking for them. “We should go back.” Nam-gyu mumbled. “We can go later, plus, nobody knows of this treehouse. We can just say we hid somewhere when it started raining.” Thanos said as he carded his fingers through Nam-gyu’s short black hair.

Maybe they couldn’t be together, perhaps his father wouldn’t allow it. But one thing was for sure, Nam-gyu was a price Thanos would cheat to win.

[aro-absol]

I found a canon (word used!) grayromantic aroallo character!

The book is called "Loving Lee" by Cozy Dubois.

The book is about Lee, an audio technician at a gay bar, falling in love with the new drag queen Carlita/Antonio. It also tells the stories of his found family members, struggling with love, work and other things. All main characters are in their 20s and 30s, and all of them are queer in some way. There's lots of bi/pan characters, as well as trans and intersex representation. It also features an alloace side character.

It's a very characters-driven story with multiple POVs. I especially enjoyed how the communication was done, and all of the characters felt very authentic to me.

The greyromantic character actually falls in love for the first time, and while the greyromanticism isn't a focal point of the story, I think it was nicely done. We get to see the character trying to handle all these new feelings and being a little overwhelmed by them.

I think it's the first in a series, but I haven't read the others yet.

Be warned, though, this book features a lot of romance and several graphic sex scenes. But if that doesn't bother you, I'd totally recommend this book! I've enjoyed it a lot. It feels a little like checking in with your friend group, and I absolutely love that.

Other than that, the novel deals with various mental health issues, past trauma, becoming sober from a drug addiction, and (extreme) homophobia/transphobia.

Goodreads page with more info

Below, I'll take more about the aromantic representation. I also have screenshots of the scene that is about the character's greyromantic identity. Spoilers ahead!

So, the greyromantic character is actually Antonio, one of the main characters and the love interest of the protagonist. He has a reputation as a fuckboy. When Lee falls in love with him, all of his friends warn Lee about Antonio. Little does anybody know that Antonio is falling for Lee just as hard.

He had already worked for the gay bar once a few years ago, and then moved to New York to chase his big dreams of becoming as successful drag queen. That didn't work out, though, and all he got was an addiction. At the beginning of the novel, he had just moved back to be closer to his family again, so he had a support system to help him stay sober. He also starts doing drag there again, and this is where he meets Lee.

In the following scene, he's talking to Jackie, his alloace coworker, who he has known for years. I found this scene very relatable. Not knowing what I crush feels like, and thinking the description sounds like anxiety, are common aro experiences, I'd say. And weirdly enough, I Jackie's answer makes me feel really aromantic, as I've definitely never experienced that.

And then, a little later, it is talked about why he uses the grayromantic label and how he feels about it (descriptions of his past drug addiction ahead):

I never had an addiction before, but I can understand Antonio's insecurities very well. It's just so hard to prove a negative, and trying to rule out other possible explanations for your feelings (or lack thereof) isn't any easier.

Overall, I think the representation was very nicely done. I think it might be the best arospec-who-feels-romantic-attraction representation I've ever seen.

[dropoutconfessions]

I keep seeing things about how Dropout is failing transwomen and yes, absolutely, I fully agree we need more transwomen/transfemmes on the channel. And maybe I'm remembering wrong (I have not watched the full catelogue), but like...90% of the trans rep so far has been nonbinary people?? Ally Beardsley, Alex Song-Xia, Erika Ishii, Caroline Page, Vic Michaelis, et cetera.

We've had Persephone Valentine for transwomen but have we had any actual honest to god transmen anywhere?

And don't get me wrong! I love love love the enby rep. 100% here for it.

But every time I see something about how Dropout and the fandom are specifically failing transwomen and transwomen only, I want to beat my head into the wall. So, you're saying that enbies are just, what, girlies+? and get lumped into the same category as trans men because...? or just that they/transmen don't count at all bc they're ...what, exactly?

It's 1: hella confusing and annoying as a trans guy. Unless Ally Beardsley (who I absolutely love no matter what) comes out as a guy at some point, they are not my rep and won't ever be.

2: misses the point that over the past few years, as Dropout has grown, their representation has grown with it, and will (hopefully!) continue to grow. In the early years, all the trans community in Dropout had was Ally Beardsley. We owe them a lot for that tbh. It's not easy being the only different one in a sea of same.

Yeah, we need to keep the community accountable and try to keep the corporation accountable as well. 100% hands down, no disagreement here. Drag queens are great, but they're not representation for transwomen.

For the sake of all that is good in the world, can we stop acting like it's only transwomen not making it onto shows and that it's both transwomen AND transmen, and that Dropout has mostly been finding a "comfortable" middle ground with enbies?

Be upset about lack of representation, be vocal, call for change, push forward names of people we want to see, but please PLEASE don't start the whole oppression politics and who has the shorter end of the stick based on whatever gender people were assigned at birth. That shit is just gross.

yeah fair, not that many trans men specifically. personally, we need more TMA people on the channel. cause i am enby (demigirl), and i don't feel represented for shit.

dropout hasn't been finding a comfortable middle ground with enbies. dropout's been coasting with TME enbies specifically.

yeah dropout's representation has grown. it's grown with the amount of TMEs on the show. they're a company, not some independent webcomic artist, we're allowed to not be happy with amount of transfems on the show. they can go ahead and take their time and grow, but i'm still gonna dislike how slowly the inclusion of transfems has been.

yes, we need more trans men on the network, but like, we can agree there is a serious lack of transfems entirely yeah? idk, might just be me

[negrowhat]

Fave QL Couples of 2024

Decided to participate in a few of @babyangelsky 's End of Year Prompts. I decided to start with this one first!

AlanJeff from Pit Babe the Series. I love them so much. I love that Jeff placed so much trust in Alan and cared so much about what he thought. But he also wasn't afraid to stand his ground with him and tell him what he really thought. I love how nervous Jeff made Alan and how Alan fretted so much about breaking the ice between them. I also love how easily Alan could ease Jeff's racing mind and how he made sure Jeff understood that he wanted to be the person Jeff leaned on. I love the age gap between them and how it plays a part in the way Alan treats Jeff and how Jeff wants to be treated. I felt their dynamic was well-written.

PhayaTharn from The Sign. I will always be a sucker for soulmates. But really I just love how drawn to each other they were. I love that Tharn always found himself searching for Phaya, worrying about him because he knew that Phaya never took the time to worry for himself. I love that Phaya felt like he was going crazy when it came to Tharn. I love that he trusted Tharn enough to save him everytime which gave him the freedom to act a bit recklessly. I love that they worked so hard to save each other. I love that they were willing to die for each other and with each other. I love that they waited for each other. Also I wanted them to adopt that little girl from the special ep.

NailHim from For Him. Like I said, the series was a complete dumpster fire but they were the best thing to come out of it. They were so soft and so communicative and respectful of each other. I love that they talked things through and even discussed therapy. I love that Him went at Nail's pace, they were both in vulnerable places in life so I'm glad they took things slow. Also their sex life was top tier. I feel like they should have been in a whole different series.

Myungha and Yeowoon from Love for Love's Sake. They needed each other. They were each other's happiness. Myungha wanted nothing more than to make Yeowoon happy, it was his literal mission. With Myungha, Yeowoon found his smile again. He found his life again and was offered Myungha's companionship to cope with his late granny's death and from there he blossomed. With Yeowoo, Myungha learned that he could depend on a person. For the first time he felt like he belonged somewhere and that he was loved. Myungha had given up life in the mortal world to be together with Yeowoon and be in a place where he was truly happy. They made me so emotional and I love them.

KorNamsom from City of Stars. Oh I wanted a full series with them. Their story was so good. I love how madly in love with each other they were. I love that Kor was ready to throw hands with ANYONE who had something to say about his girlfriend being trans because he surely did not give one single fuck. He adored her. I love that Namsom tried so hard to protect Kor even if it meant her own heart was broken. I love how he treated her like a queen and how he stared at her like she hung the moon. They were so fucking good together and I hope Rock and Kimmon get paired up again because the chemistry was insane. (Couldn't find a gif!)

OyeiCher from Wandee Goodday. Our designated family pillars. Def my fave depiction of an already established couple. It feels like we were thrown directly in the middle of their problems. Their main concerns were finances, such a married couple. I love that they were very much still into each other and loudly flirting about it. I love that Oyei tried so hard to carry everything on his shoulders and Cher was right there to remind him that he wasn't alone. Cher pretty much abandoned his old life to help Oyei with his family's gym and Oyei wanted to make sure Cher was taken care of so he wouldn't feel any regrets. They worried so much for each other but also were each other's strength.

Jaejun and Jihan from City Boy Log. I swear they are the messiest couple I've ever seen but their mess is so good. They are just so fucking into each other and no matter what happens they gravitate right back to each other. I love that Jaejun lets Jihan take care of him. And I love that Jihan makes Jaejun laugh. I love that Jihan decided right away that he wanted to be with Jaejun and that he was willing to fight to keep him (and he did have to fight). I love them and their chemistry and at this point IDC about anybody else in this fucking series but them. If they're not in the ep then I'm not watching it.

MethasJJ and OabPlawan from Love No Long Beans. I love both couples of this series real fucking bad. I love how horny OabPlawan were for each other and how they caught feelings somewhere in between. I love that Methas and JJ were totally opposite. I love that JJ made Methas work for hard to earn approval. I love that Methas was so taken with JJ and was willing to do anything to be with him. I love that both couples' dynamics were so different and yet worked so well.

SanVee from Century of Love. I love that the Goddess worked so hard to prove that Vee was San's soulmate but they sort of fell in love despite that. I loved that San got the chance to fall in love all over again, to the point where he didn't care Vee was the one he was waiting for or not. I love that Vee was interested in San immediately but he didn't let San try to force him to be someone he wasn't. He stood his ground and challenged San to think about what exactly he was looking for and who exactly he wanted and why. I love by the end of things San only cared about being with Vee and nothing else.

Xiaobao and Huai'en from Meet You At the Blossom. My fave toxic ship of the year. I love how crazy Xiaobao makes Huai'en. I love how Huai'en was ready to destroy the world and give up everything to be together with Xiaobao. I also loved how Huai'en always put himself between Xiaobao and danger. I love how Xiaobao wanted nothing more than to shower Huai'en with love and affection and adoration. He was willing to show Huai'en what love is supposed to look and feel like. I loved that.

TattooAran from Jack & Joker. Even though we only got mere morsels I ate up every bit. Love how Aran was such a spoiled little rich kid but cared so much about uplifting Tattoo and standing behind his inventions. He believed in Tattoo. I love that Tattoo gave Aran that culture shock he needed and was there for him when he was feeling sad even though he felt a little awkward about it. I love that Tattoo made Aran laugh. I love that they comforted each other. They're so good together and I just wish they were given the proper time to bloom.

SianBlue for Every You, Every Me. I just thought they were so fun. I think since we only had two eps for them the plot had to cut out a lot of drama-filled fat. I love that the conflict was something so simple but helped pull them together and showed that they're communicating. I was particularly a big fan of their sex life, it was so damn ideal to me. I love that they talked about things. I think they were my fave pairing from the series, but they beat out XNamping but only a sliver.

[markster666]

Alastor Reacting To Stereotypical Activist Gen Zer (No NSFW really ig)

Me and @rainyvandragon were discussing this last night and we thought it was the funniest thing ever, so I wanted to write a short fic for you guys. Enjoy.

This might be offensive to some audiences but I tried to portray a stereotypical feminist Gen Zer in the eyes of somebody closed minded (somebody like Alastor kinda) so LOL.

The new generation, Gen Z, (1997-2012), started making their appearances in Hell. Alastor, being a gentleman from the 1930s, wasn't used to being around the influx of activists, feminists, vegans, etc. It wasn't until one showed up at the hotel seeking redemption that he truly met his match.

"WHATS UP GIRLY POPS?!!" The Gen Zer kicked open the doors, strutting into the lobby. They turned to Charlie, "Omg, you look SO slay!!"

Alastor looked at them in disgust. What the fuck were they even saying?

The Gen Zer turned to Alastor and gasped in delight, "Omg! Look at youUU-UH."

They walked over to Alastor and sat on the chair next to him.

"What are your pronouns?"

Alastor looked dumbfounded. "My... My what?"

"Pronouns silly! Are you a girl, boy, trans, non-binary, gender-fluid-"

They went on for a couple minutes before Alastor interrupted.

"I'm a boy, my Dear."

"Are you a CIS male?"

Alastor literally was getting so fucking annoyed because he literally has no fucking idea what this mf was talking about.

"...Yes."

"Great! So He/Him. What's your sexuality?"

Alastor didn't know what the fuck that meant.

"...I don't like having sex."

"Omg so you're ASEXUAL? QUEEN!!! LOVE THAT FOR YEWWW-UH!!"

Alastor wanted to die (again).

The Gen Zer got back up and started talking to Charlie. Charlie also looked a little offput but she was a LOT more accepting.

"So... how did you die?"

"Oh, my, GAWD, I literally was at a protest and some stupid fucking cops decided to pump me full of lead! Whatever, at least I went down for fighting in what I believe in."

Angel Dust perked up, "And what do you believe in?"

"WOMENS RIGHTS AND UNRESTRICTED RIGHTS TO ABORTION-UH!"

Alastor was banging his head against the table in the lobby.

"Oh and I also got arrested a few times for vandalizing government property but hey! Worth it!"

Angel Dust was CRACKING up at Alastor's reaction and Charlie was trying to listen attentively.

"We definitely need to completely remove gender roles from our modern society. Oh, I also really miss my husband... I proposed to him recently and he's SUCH a good stay at home dad!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!"

Alastor yelled, his voiced filled with radio static.

Angel Dust was on the floor, hollering with laughter.

"Oh my gosh sorry, I should've asked for your beliefs before I started spouting off about them! You know...my mum was kind off...a total fuckin cunt, which is why I cut of all contact with her. She was a Republican, smh."

Alastor threw a table at them.

"OH MY GAWD STOP IT!!!!"

Im sorry guys I'm fucking laughing so hard this is the best head canon ever.

[featherquillpen]

The Ten Best Books I Read This Year

In order of when I read them, not how much I liked them.

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

A novel about a white author who uses yellowface to achieve literary success. I don't usually read realistic fiction, but I loved Kuang's fantasy novel Babel so I gave this one a try. It is difficult to read, but unputdownable. It's like watching a trainwreck because you just have to see how bad it gets. A takedown of the publishing industry in all its ugliness.

2. Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

This is exactly the kind of sci-fi I most desire. It's a deradicalization story told from the point of view of a far-right zealot slowly deradicalizing herself. I really enjoyed the insights into exactly what it takes for a dangerously radicalized teenager to change her mind.

3. The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera

A novel about a Chosen One who walks away from his destined mission and joins group therapy for failed messiahs. Unquestionably the best book on this list. Mind-blowingly excellent. It's as funny as the premise makes it sound, but also deeply profound, politically astute, and the best new spec fic of the COVID-19 era. Big plague CWs here.

4. El Nunca Más de las locas by Matías Máximo

A non-fiction book about the experiences of LGBTQ people in Argentina in the 1970s and 80s. Only available in Spanish, sorry gringues. The book is not only a great work of scholarship, but way more poetically written than I'm used to from history books. Please more historians write with this level of prose, it really adds something.

5. True Biz by Sara Nović

Again, I don't usually read realistic fiction, but this novel by a Deaf author about a year in the life of a Deaf school really grabbed me. It made me cry a whole bunch, and it took me on a compelling tour of Deaf culture, from former cochlear implant users to CODAs to multigenerational Deaf families.

6. Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

A novel about making it big in the golden age of Hollywood when you're Chinese-American and all the studio execs are fae monsters. I've read novellas by Nghi Vo and loved them so I wanted to graduate to her full novels. Oh my god. She really is such a good writer it makes me foam at the mouth. Magic and fae bargains are such good metaphors for Hollywood.

7. Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

Trans horror that endeavors to explain why the UK is LIke That. And boy, does it ever succeed. This book calls for basically every imaginable content warning, but it's so worth it. The audiobook deserves a special shout-out; huge props to Nicky Endres for the spine-chilling and sometimes hilarious performance.

8. The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo

After Siren Queen I needed more Nghi Vo as soon as possible, so I got this magical AU of The Great Gatsby told from Jordan Baker's point of view. The magic does add something to Gatsby's parties, but the book is at its best when it delves into the parts that Fitzgerald never touched: Jordan Baker's inner life and her history with Daisy.

9. The Sapling Cage by Margaret Killjoy

Trans anarchist witches? Trans anarchist witches with leftist infighting??? Margaret Killjoy once again I thank you for my life. I love how this book shows you very directly how anarchist societies work on a day to day basis, as well as the problems they face.

10. Pests: How Humans Create Animal Villains by Bethany Brookshire

An amazing non-fiction book about the animals we love to hate. The book's take on controversial issues like white-tailed deer management is very nuanced and takes into account important dynamics of settler colonialism and how it affects all of our relationships with the animals close to us.

[velvetvexations]

For years now we've been saying that TERFs were active participants in ace discourse and even admitted to using ace exclusionism to push TERF ideas. A lot of people didn't take it seriously and didn't think it was important, since most people consider ace issues to be some inconsequential footnote with no real impact. Now in 2025 we've got the TERF Queen JKR tweeting acephobic stuff and publicly mocking ace people.

Obviously, as a trans person, I know that the threats on trans rights are much more worrying right now, so I've kinda kept silent about that because I don't feel like it's appropriate to be like "ummm guys it's not just trans people that are attacked ! Ace people are targeted too akchually !". It's really not the time and place because the impact on trans people is much more pressing. But as an ace person it still really pains me to see. Everything that was rebranded "LGB" didn't just drop the "T", it dropped the "TQIA+" and it was very deliberate. You'll hear the "LGB" types loudly talk about how they don't want to be associated with the cringy terminally online fake labels of straight people facing no oppression and co-opting the gay movement because they want to feel special, pointing at NB people and aspecs. Even from "allies", it's completely normalized to mock these identities, use them as exemples of "terminally online SJW labels" or as a shorthand for "queer person I find annoying", to portray them as clueless privileged people facing no oppression (even when statistics say otherwise).

We're reluctantly given a seat at the queer table but everyone still finds it laughable if we ask for help or recognition. "what would you need that for ? No one cares that you're asexual" "worst thing you'll face is people not believing your identity... Other queer people actually get hatecrimed, you know". TERFs are literally agreeing and mocking us saying pretty much the same things. Even some trans people discussing JKR saying stuff like that were saying that she basically wasn't wrong.

It just feels so hopeless. Even people who are supportive don't bother spending time to advocate for us, it's just assumed that there's no need since we face no real issues, so saying "ace people are valid !" is the most our allies will do. Out of all my identities as a gay trans man, it's being ace that I struggle the most to accept. It's made me feel incredibly lonely and isolated, feeling like I don't even qualify as a human being, like my life genuinely isn't worth living, like I've failed at life because it made me defective, abnormal, unloveable, a failure unwanted even by my own community. A community supposed to welcome people who are different and struggling with their orientation. I feel like I can't even trust other queer people, despite having "valid" labels that would qualify as "really oppressed" in their eyes. I've seen how they talk about people like me, they don't even hide their contempt. Seeing other trans people so eager to agree with TERFs as long as they get to mock the dumb cringy aces. It's just so tiring.

I really regret not being more active in the ace discourse when that conflict was running hot. I love you, anon, and I'm sorry. <3

[kghnzen]

persona 5's portrayal of sexual harassment: what i liked and what could be done better – SPOILERS FOR MOST OF THE GAME! TW for mentions of SA+pedophilia!

felt like talking about this because i can't find anyone summing up all my thoughts.

first, ann's character:

what i liked: i thought the writing of the initial arc and introduction to ann's character was really well done; her emotions were reflective of a teenager in her position, with the guilt she felt and the subsequent (or arguably, everpresent) anger. shiho also faced this abuse and almost tried to k!ll herself because of it, which is crazy realistic. also, the nude model thing wasn't that bad. especially in royal, the jokes at her expense came off more like "haha ann, this weird guy wants you to model for him nude" and less like, "i WISH ann would get naked!" (although i did hate morgana's whole thing about "preserving her chastity, but he's generally protective of her so i'll let it slide.) i think that the whole strategy she had to unlock madarame's door was cute and witty, especially how we get to see her dorky acting. she can be used for jokes without it being about her body and that's awesome!!

what i wish was done better: what i most hate about this arc is what happened to ann's character throughout the main story afterwards. if you choose to pursue her confidant seriously (which i think every player should with every confidant but i digress) you will get a wonderful storyline about a girl who wants to become stronger for herself and her friends – if you don't, you just get a character who was taken advantage of at the beginning, and who's situation is then callously poked fun at time and time again afterwards through the narrative. all the times ryuji and morgana ogle her only take away from the message of her character from the first arc. and don't get me started on how hard they nerfed ryuji during the middle of the game – guy who hates scumbags is made to act like one every business month... time and time again, ann is shown to be either outcast or taken advantage of for her looks, and then her own teammates, her closest friends, are used for gags at her expense. for what? cheap laughs? there are way better ways to implement comedic scenes (cough cough everything yusuke does)

next, ryuji's character:

what i liked: everything about the shinjuku scene in royal. these queenie ass gay guys pull up and try to turn ryuji into a drag queen, and joker, tired of ryuji's incompetence, is like... yeah dude rock that shit. morgana is like, "hope he discovers himself..." i think it's fucking hilarious and an accurate representation of shinjuku's nightlife (at least, the presence of drag queens is accurate.) next, i love his attitude towards the girls in his team... mostly. he treats them fairly and like a member of the team, albeit a little cheeky in his interactions with them (often wanting to talk to joker about how he "sees" them as "girls." i honestly find no harm with that, it isn't overstepping any boundaries, just guy talk portrayed realistically. in the end he always sees them as people, not just the abstract concept of "girl," and is able to maintain a connection with them as people, which i think lends to his good naturedness. even the maid scene i didn't mind – he's a teenage boy, of course he's curious. there's definitely flaws in this but that's for the next section.

what i hated: everything about the shinjuku scene in vanilla. unlike it's royal counterpart, vanilla's shinjuku scene has ryuji getting felt up and ogled, while joker finds the whole debacle funny. as the player i seriously wanted to help him get out of the situation, but the game doesn't let you cause it's just for laughs. if it's for laughs, why am i not laughing?? the other issue with this scene was the fact that the people doing this were gay guys in shinjuku, presumably queens or something? this is portraying gay/trans characters as pedophilic FOR LAUGHS, which is extremely harmful and the worst queer stereotype, even if they are just npcs in a minute long cutscene. i greatly appreciated the change to dialogue in royal. i also hated how they had him (and morgana) treat ann sometimes. i talked about this in ann's section, but by watering down her character to Hot Bod, they're also watering down the guy's characters to primitive man seeing boobie for first time. ryuji actively hates kamoshida for his treatment of students, including the sexual harrassment. it goes against half of the points against him that were made in the first arc. not to mention, he's a total mama's boy. i honestly find it out of character for him to be so rude to ann; to think she's attractive? sure, to objectify her? girl he's known since middle school and fights against and has a sibling-like bond with? absolutely not. side tangent, morgana also would never in my mind. i mean, he calls her Lady Ann... that's such high respect! just watering down characters all around for no good reason, ESPECIALLY in the dessert car scene, ugh.

last, joker's relationships with older women:

what i liked: nothing. besides the friendship. but i'm not talking about that, i'm talking about the romance routes...

what i despised: okay i don't have much first hand experience because i refuse to romance persona characters (idk, the mcs are all gay to me, even as kotone, i couldn't romance a man, this is only tangentially related though, let's move on) but anyways, the fact that women twice the minor character's age are available to romance and he still can't partake is preposterous... get my boy a cigarette. jokes aside, takemi being able to drug him and having that be played off as a joke is just horrible and is actually sexual assault. it's the most explicit the game has gotten in portraying that and it's... for jokes. and meant to be seen as enjoyable. yeah okay... i'm having the time of my life.. (Sarcasm.) in any case, i fucking love takemi and wish she wasn't turned into a weirdo. the guinea pig jokes are funny!! i like it when she teases him!! the issue is that the teasing becomes more than teasing!! which is scary! same goes for ohya and kawakami, although i like them a bit less. i do think joker has valuable friends and allies in all three of these women, and the option to romance them almost ruins it for me. it's crazy that cougars are more acceptable than gay romance.

tldr; ann and ryuji's characters were nerfed + we should be allowed to romance yusuke ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for reading if you stuck around this long. would love to hear more thoughts. byebye!