#and i know some do love me. so why am i left wanting more? whats wrong with me

[supermassiveblackholeeyes]

Note: I wrote these at least twice but I can't find the last one.

1: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

yes. more so with my dad than my mom, but overall - yes.

2: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

margarita

3: Do you regret anything?

yes a lot of things. esp regarding my studying and career choices.

4: Are you insecure?

I thought I was not but I realized that yes, I am a bit. Regarding my body and youknowwhat.

5: What is your relationship status?

Single as always LMAOO kai-

6: How do you want to die?

I want to be able to tell the people who love me dearly that I will be alright and that I am extremely happy for the life and love I got to live and feel - After I tell them all this, and then I don't know.

7: What did you last eat?

lots of chocolates and now I'm not feeling good

8: Played any sports?

I kinda tried to learn tennis but I couldn't, was fine while it lasted though. I'm hoping I'll learn skiing or snowboarding this year. or boxing. I'll be very very content and happy if I do. (psst or calistenics)

9: Do you bite your nails?

just the ... skin around...........

10: When was your last physical fight?

have never had a serious physical fight I think. but slapped my sister a few days ago nothing serious. BECAUSE she pissed me off ok?

11: Do you like someone?

nope. A fictional crush Vi yes. but apart from that noooo. or maybe? no. or maybe....

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

wow. no.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Hate is a strong word. many do annoy me but I love them all. I hate many government officials though. obviously.

14: Do you miss someone?

Yes my relative who is in the states.

15: Have any pets?

YESYESYES. I have a cat and a little dog. one is 3 and the other is 1. and also two dogs. but the first two are the ones I am close to and love veryverymuch.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I am feeling a bit stressed and over stimulated. and annoyed. I don't know the exact reason why. maybe because I haven't left the house for days even though I wanted to. and I am angry at everybody who I could've gone out with but I did not.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

no just a peck on the lips but friendly.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Yes.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yes. Yes. A hundred times yes.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I'll search up what that is n come back to yall.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

I don't even know what day it is.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I go from no to yes a lot. so it was yes for a long while and now, like now these past weeks I feel like I don't want any? I am a confused individual so I truly don't know. but if I do I want 2. a girl first and then a boy.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Noo. Only have ear piercings. I'm getting the itch to have some more either on the side of my nose, or brows, or lips. but I don't like the permanent scar that it leaves so I guess I'm good without them.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Now this question made me sad. because once, centuries ago, it was maths. and now? I do not know... Nothing. I really am good at nothing for now.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I always miss at least someone. I miss my relatives who are in the states... I miss my friends who were once my neighbors (or maybe the times I spent with them). I miss everybody always.

26: What are you craving right now?

A good balanced meal. A big jug of room temp water. My room and a new gym membership.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

I've never been anything.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Not boyfriendboyfriend or girlfriendgirlfriend but I think maybe... but of course not on purpose

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Everything. the temperature in the house. people. my friends. this country. the world. humankind and everyone.

31: Does somebody love you?

Idk about romantic love but other than that of course. :)

32: What is your favourite color?

Black. navy blue. pink. green. pink and green together. green and red together.

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes, but I also have trust issues towards myself because I don't remember shit.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

A reaaaaaally weird and creepy dream that I was in a huge, tall hotel on the last floor and it was all dark except of the last floor where I was and I was shitscared. another was that some ti tu shkbi found me and found out I was spreading info about them (which I was not) and tried to beat me up but fortunately I was the one who beat them up in the end.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My sister.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Not really?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

easier to forgetttt. I am not forgiving sh1

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no but it was the best year after 2019 at least.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

... girl don't ask.

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no? tf.

51: Favourite food?

Maybe sushi? And there is this bomb ass tofu salad I love that too. and a nice pizza, there was one in Italy with some pears on it. fantastic. also anything with truffle. I love food... I also kinda became a pescatarian this year, Which I thought would never happen. Oh and add khinkali to the list!

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

No. I think that's a bit selfish and evil to think so. Not everybody deserves the things that happen to them. I believe more in the "meant to be"... that not everything can be predicted.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Unfortunately nothing. I did dance a bit and daydream, and ate an orange before that.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

nope. Unless the partner is like ab*sive or a cheater themselves. or something veryveryveryveryveryvery bad and you can't get out of the relationship.

55: Are you mean?

I-... I try not to be? I truly think I am not. I just.. sometimes ON accident I am mean.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

bruh... none.

57: Do you believe in true love?

Yea... Starting to doubt it a BIT. but yes. Also when I say doubt it I mean doubt that there is the ONE that is meant for you.

58: Favourite weather?

Spring weather... late may. When you can wear jeans/pants and a short-sleeve on top. and some sneakers. my fav.

59: Do you like the snow?

Yes. haven't experienced it in a long time.

60: Do you wanna get married?

yea........................................... I think?.......

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Woof woof. Yes.

62: What makes you happy?

When I have my sh1t together. So eating good balanced meals, sleeping well, reading, ditching scrolling and daydreaming, GOOD GRADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my family, good weather, the sea, going out with friends in the evening when the weather is nice, food. which I already said... When I am good at something. Nice and pretty clothes (good quality fabric), pretty thrifted shoes, good skincare. Beauty.

63: Would you change your name?

No I love my name.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Yea I have issues.

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Reject them-

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

YES.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Just talked to? my stepfthr.

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Maybe my sister? I don't know.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

I believe you are meant to meet certain people.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

yes.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[wtfaniii]

"Who are you?"

Note: I apologize if my English here isn't good, I'm Mexican and I'm just beginning to study languages, I didn't find much content from Hwang In-ho and I thought, why not write something myself? I hope you like it.

"Hey..." Gi-hun murmured as he sat down next to me, making me jump a little but I managed to keep the composure, I was still a little shaken up by the second game, I thought was going to die but if it hadn't been for Thanos and that tiny pill I would have surely lost my little patience and been eliminated. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know..." It was crazy, I thought I could play this without feeling on the verge of death but here I was, almost shaking and playing with my fingers, when I felt Gi-hun wrap me in a hug I was able to regulate my heartbeat.

We knew each other years ago when I offered to take care of he daughter for a few coins, then I had a relapse into drugs and I never spoke to him again.

Until now

"It's okay... we'll be fine" Him try to calm myself down "Come, come with us"

I stood up and walked with him to where the rest of his group mates were but Thanos' voice stopped us "Hey! Where are you two going? My friend belongs to the future victors" Gi-hun didn't pay attention but when we felt he presence approaching us I turned to face him.

I wasn't going to let myself be intimidated, yes, I'm scared of dying at the hands of a gunshot to the head but I can stand my ground when it comes to an irritating rapper.

But to my surprise 001 was already right in front of me staring at Thanos with a firm stance. The purple-haired boy stepped back without looking away as he certainly didn't want to receive another beating from him but he didn't want to look like a coward either.

When he turned to us his dark and tired eyes fell on mine "Thank you In-ho" said Gi-hun without removing his arms from my shoulders

Now I knew him name.

When I met his group I was able to introduce myself and release a bit of my tense emotions, they were nice despite the circumstances. "Are you American?" 001 asks sitting on my left side, briefly interrupting the conversation I was having with Gi-hun. "Do my eyes give me away?" I joked, looking back at him.

Unlike them, my eyes were not slanted for obvious reasons, actually, if I were in better circumstances I would say they are my best asset.

He smiled a little, a smile that would have gone unnoticed if I didn't observe each of his features, he was attractive, too much so. "It seems like you haven't played any of the games before"

"I played... a few years ago with him daughter" I said looking at Gi-hun talking to Jung-bae "I was his babysitter"

"Why did you leave?" He asked curiously, it was strange that he knew I had quit but I guess it was just his intuition.

"Let's just say that... I had some setbacks..." I muttered sadly while giving my arm a squeeze right in the area where it was painful to grab because of some needle marks, it was a past I would like to forget "But I have a lot of debts to pay so here I am" I added with a slightly happier tone "Here I earn the money I owe or die by gunshot, for me it's a win either way" I tried to lighten the mood but In-ho's furrowed brow let me know that I was only ruining it "Out there they will hunt me and kill me like an animal... at least here I will have a more or less decent death"

It seemed like he felt sorry for me, or at least that's what his gaze conveyed to me, yeah... maybe I'm a poor damned soul but what does it matter, I have positive thoughts about my destiny.

"If I survive, I'll be a preschool teacher. I love children."

Again, he smiled and nodded.

[...]

The third game's timer was coming to an end, there were only five seconds left and I was alone, there were groups of three people but my lack of socialization seemed to be my condemnation as well.

I closed my eyes and accepted my fate but I was surprised by arms that surrounded me and knocked me to the ground, my eyes met 001 who looked at me with conflict, it was a judging look but at the same time it conveyed to me as if he was having a battle with himself.

"We're going to die" I stammered as the counter hit zero and the pink-masked men entered.

"Don't say anything," he whispered in my ear, causing a shiver to run through me. The lights kept turning on and off, making my vision dim. One of the guards approached us and pointed his gun at us. However, when I saw my life flash before my eyes, In-ho raised his arm and put his hand up in a stop gesture, causing the individual dressed in pink and with a triangle on his mask to lower his gun and retreat

The screams of the other participants being killed filled my ears but despite all that noise In-ho's words were quite clear to me "If you say anything about this it's over for you and your friends" it could have seemed like a threat but behind that tone I also managed to perceive a sincere request.

I wasn't stupid, he had something to do with these games and I would find out what it was before telling Gi-hun.

[accio-sriracha]

"What's it like?" Regulus asked quietly, staring at the stars from their hiding spot in the garden.

"What's what like?" Sirius replied.

Regulus turned to look at him, the grass tickling his nose, "Being in love."

Sirius' eyes never moved from the stars, "Why do you ask?"

Regulus shrugged, "Just curious, I guess."

There was a long pause, Regulus assumed Sirius was trying to find the right words.

"It's sort of like falling." He explained, "It's slow at first. You don't even realise it. One day you notice the colour of their eyes is deeper than you thought. Less plain brown and more... chocolate coloured. The next time it's hearing their laugh and feeling yourself smile without meaning to, like your body wants to react, like the sound is... healing, I guess."

He paused again, finally moving to face Regulus.

Regulus nodded for him to go on.

"Eventually, all of the things you used to do as friends feel... bigger. Every touch doesn't feel so casual anymore. Everytime they say your nickname it's less of a joke and more like a secret, something sacred between the two of you."

He sighed, "Then, one day, you look up and realise how far you've fallen. And it's like there's no turning back. Everything reminds you of them. Everytime you make a joke you look to them first, to see if they're laughing. Everytime they walk in a room it's like nothing else matters." He laughed softly, the sound was nostalgic, "You find yourself looking for reasons to talk to them. Anything to be close to them, to feel their touch. Nothing is casual anymore, there's always... meaning, always something more left unsaid. It's understanding someone so deeply, and having them know you too."

Regulus smiled, "That sounds nice." He whispered.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, it is."

"I want to have that some day." Regulus sat up, playing with a blade of grass between his fingertips.

Sirius sat up too, his own smile reassuring, "You will." He nodded, "Anyone would be lucky to have you."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Regulus pulled away from the pensive, his eyes filled with tears.

"May I be excused, professor?" Regulus asked.

The professor nodded, continuing his lesson on finding a positive memory for conjuring a patronus.

Regulus walked out into the hallway. His hands shook as he scrubbed the tears from his face.

And, of course, a voice from behind him caught his attention,

"Reggie! Hey, I thought you had defense class this hour?"

Regulus turned, meeting the deep chocolate brown of Potter's eyes. His stomach flipped as it always did when they were together.

"I do." He sniffed.

Potter caught the look on his face and his smile dropped. At once he was standing in front of Regulus, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here." He soothed, his hands rubbing Regulus' shoulders.

Regulus couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, because the touch sent sparks across Regulus' skin.

Potter frowned, leaning back to look at him again,

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Regulus shook his head, his smile appearing of its own accord,

"I think im in love with you." He whispered.

Potter's eyes widened, he leaned back a little further, "Do you have a concussion? You sound loopy. We should get you to the nurse."

Regulus stopped him mid-stride as Potter began to lead him down the corridor. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes again,

"I'm serious, Jamie. I'm in love with you."

Neither of them made the Sirius joke, Regulus had never once seen Potter speechless like this.

Eventually, he seemed to find his voice again,

"You're in love with me?" He repeated slowly.

Regulus nodded, "I am."

James took a while to process this. Regulus realised he probably should have waited to give the news when Potter wasn't on his way to the lavatory.

He was just about to apologise when Potter took both of his hands in his own,

"I've loved you for as long as I can remember."

The words hit Regulus harder than he could have ever imagined.

Before either of them could get out another word, Potter was pulling him into a sweeping kiss.

Regulus knew without a doubt this was the feeling Sirius had been describing all those years ago.

But he was wrong about one thing.

Regulus was the lucky one.

[harumasa-wifey]

Omgomg i love your writing sm 😭‼️

Since you're open for request, can I request a doctor!reader with Harumasa? Imagine he is going to infirmary just to see reader 😔 maybe he pretend to be sick as an excuse just to see reader

➹Just Because I Like You a Lot

✖Asaba HarumasaxFem!doctor Reader

Warning: none just some fluff, not proofread

Note: yea i almost died last week/srs but only my left hand is injured so it's fine. Thank you for waiting i also have another similar request for doctor Reader and I am currently working on it.

The moonlight falls on the papers placed upon your office desk as you go on reading while sipping on your cup of tea with more papers in the piles beside your desk.

You weren't expecting any patients at this hour as you were checking some reports before ending your shift but as the saying goes, Expect the unexpected. So there he was entering your office with a pout on his lips looking beat up.

Your instant response was putting down your cup as you stood up, several thoughts running in your head. Did he get these injuries in a Hollow? Or worse fighting some high level ethereal.

“Who hurt you?” The worried look on your face was obvious as you asked him to sit down to take a look.

“Chief”

.....

“Huh?”

The worried expression was now replaced by confusion. Why would miyabi do that? Of course she should have a reason, those thoughts ended as he spoke up again.

“Well well isn't this embarrassing, the chief and I had a sparring session and now I look like this”

“Man she wasn't playing this time” he murmured under his breath which was pretty audible in the peaceful office. A light giggle broke out your lips as you came to the conclusion on why this had happened.

“Really Miss doc? I came up looking this injured in the night and you are laughing,Won't you at least treat me with care?”

“Pfft, it's just some minor injuries you been through worse asaba but don't worry I'll ask a nurse to fix your bandages”

You were about to make your way to your desk to call upon a nurse when he pulled you back hugging you from the back, his breath fanning over your ears as he mumbled.

“I didn't come all this way for you to push me out, you know how much i hate travelling long distances”

It's true he is lazy like that and it's not like he cannot do this by himself yet he is here asking for your help when he could be home sleeping.

You held his hand which was interlocked around your waist as you faced him.

“Alright, sit back down I'll do it”

He smiled like a kid winning a prize and sat back on the bed watching you move around the office gathering the first aid kit, you came back with the kit and several bandages in your hand placing them on the desk.

“Okay, show me the wounds that have been reopened”

“Do I really need to do all that doc? You already know where it is, can't I just sit here all pretty for you?”

He said as he gave you a teasing smile clearly stating his intentions once again.

You sigh as your hands hover above his his tie first then the shirt buttons undoing them one by one as he quietly indulges you taking it off him with a satisfied smile resting on his until you pulled off his waist and stomach, he lets out a low grunt trying to make it look like it hurt while you just stared at him unamused.

“Can you please be gentle with me doc? I am a really fragile person”

“I am sure no fragile person can charge into hollows like it's nothing but whatever you want”

You checked around his wound and it hasn't been opened which was good. You just need to change the dressing, as you were thinking of changing the dressing your fingers were hovering around his abs, and how could he miss out on a chance like this.

“You like what you see doc? It took a lot of effort so i would like you to parise me more if you wanna” he asked with a slight smirk adorning his lips. You quickly take your hand back tearing your gaze away from him to the box besides.

“Ahem, i was checking the wound” even though what you said was true he surely doesn't mind you checking something else out on him.

You slowly but carefully wrapped the bandages around him and put the box aside giving him space to dress up but it seemed like he didn't want to do that either.

“won't you help me with this doc?” you wish you could dig yourself a hole, his advances were getting too much for you to act nonchalant even though the blush on your face is quite obvious to him and he is enjoying every second of it.

You help him put on his shirt and tie back, whispering quietly under your breath which was clearly audible to him.

“You cannot keep getting away with this” before leaning in to give him a final kiss as you ward him out of your office to pack your stuff to leave with him, you know he is standing outside and he won't go anywhere without you.

[val-the-protoss-simp]

Yeah, so. The best way I can explain my thoughts on these ships (especially Artazun - Artanis/Vorazun) is using one of Avril Lavigne's most iconic songs:

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it anymore obvious?

Like, I'm not trying to throw any shade at all, people can ship whatever they want. But I am yet to meet a person who ships these two that explains why they like them so much in a way that makes sense to me. Because sooner or later, their explanation boils down to "He's a guy and she's a gal so ofc they'd be into each other" as if a straight ship is some kind of default and if a story has a male main character and a female main character, they have to end up together. And I just don't see it. Them as friends? Sure, absolutely, imo they're great as friends, but not as a couple. Alarak and Artanis have way more chemistry with one another. Bit of a hot take but so does Rohana and Vorazun. But Artanis/Vorazun is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry is. It's like when you pick up a mediocre romance book where the girl character obviously ends up with the boy character because That's Just How Things Are no matter of they're good together or not. No thanks. Pass

Kerrinor is a bit more complicated in a sense that the game actively tries to convince you these two are really into each other. But if I had to sum up their vibes, I'd reach for Sk8tr Boy again. "He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?" I just don't get the romantic vibes at all off of these two. Raynor frequently comes off as an incel that gives the vibes of someone who'd insist they know better than you and just to listen to them because they know best, while also transforming into the biggest simp in the galaxy in SC2 as he pines over a woman that's obviously not into him.

And Kerrigan gives me the vibes of someone who really does wanna see more in this weird relationship, but more because she thinks having someone to love will make her feel whole and worthy of living rather than that she really wants this. Like, if shit didn't go south and she didn't get infected, I'm 100% that eventually she'd go "Yeah sorry lol this ain't gonna work." and break it off with Raynor. Like, I do think she cares deeply for Raynor, don't get me wrong, and at one point might have thought what she feels is romantic love, but eventually comes to a point where she realises that it's a sense of kinship rather than anything romantic. She loves him as a friend, that is all.

And funny enough, if you know more about his character, you know he had a wife and a son that he tragically lost. Knowing this information and how he's written, Raynor comes off to me as someone who's desperately looking for that kind of love again, albeit without realising, because the time he spent happy with his family was the happiest he ever was and his defeated, depressed ass desperately wants that again. So he seeks that shit and Kerrigan just happens to be there.

You can clearly see that he cares deeply about her, but his feelings of affection are misplaced to the point he doesn't want to see the kind of person she is and instead tries to morph her into the kind of woman HE wants. Which is not who Kerrigan is at all. Revenge is all she has left, no matter what it takes, and Raynor again and again tries to talk her out of it for his own personal wants when she makes it very very clear this isn't something she wants to do and that she cannot just let go of what Mengsk did to her and what that man's choices turned her into. And instead of trying to understand why someone he supposedly understands so deeply would want to kill the man who robbed her off of everything and turned her into a monster that killed billions, he gets butthurt when she doesn't wanna run off with him and live happily ever after. I love Raynor for many reasons, I think he's a well written character in a lot of aspects but this just. Ain't it. If the game treated this behaviour of his as a flaw, I'd dig it. But instead it tries to tell how boo boo poor Raynor is just so unfortunate to want a woman that doesn't want him, even when he ignores everything that's important to her. That's just not doing it for me, fam. I get that the game tries to ram it down my throat as the technically only canon ship it gives us in its five installments, but I can't get behind it. Kerrinor is a big fat no for me, let them just stay friends.

a ship where i see what people see but it is simply not very interesting to me personally it’s like

[bunny-jpeg]

bet it on black

toto wolff

tags: smut/pwp, las vegas, sugar daddy au, sugar daddy!toto, mafia boss!toto, gambling, drinking, ditzy!reader, hotel room sex, daddy kink, dirty talk/degrading language

a/n: didn't write any christmas fics because i'm not the biggest celebrator of christmas, so here, are some fics to enjoy all year round! i am going to devour from wontons and take a nap- happy holidays <3

"play that card." you pointed to the ten of hearts while you were seated in toto's lap. you were currently at the aria hotel and casino on the las vegas strip, curled into the lap of your alarmingly older lover. the type of age gap to raise an eyebrow at.

you didn't care, you were both adults! plus toto wolff took very, very good care of you. he shifted you in his lap and said, "shh, shh, i don't think that's the best i can play." his tone low, for such a dangerous man, he was quite gentle with you. as gentle as a mafia boss could be.

you nodded and held onto the front of his crisp button up. you pressed your cheek against his shoulder and could almost hear his heartbeat. you asked quietly before toto played, "can we get ice cream after this?"

you know what you were doing was wrong. you shouldn't have gotten involved with a mobster. such a dangerous man. but, how could you not? not when they looked like toto wolff! you had no choice, but to fall head over heels in love with him. tall, handsome, dangerous, the type of man you wanted. and he so happen to want you in return.

you were his slice of heaven on earth, so when he went on a "vacation" to the united stated, he had to bring you. it was only a night in the city before you two traveled towards california. you were close to his side the entire time.

the city of sin, this was where he took you. despite it being an informal vacation, there still was work to do. there was always work to do. when he left you stayed in the hotel and when he returned, he gave you his undivided attention.

"let me get that for you, princess." he often said as he got you what you needed, he guided you from place to place with a hand on your lower back. his kisses were soft and loving. he was a guiding hand, a caring force in your life.

so even when you gazed at the cards he put on the table, you clearly didn't know your way around a card game. but he still kissed you on the face and said, "good try, my love." you made quite the pair, especially when toto teased you by slipping his hand up your short skirt for a moment. his long fingers grazed your panty-clad pussy. his other hand held another round of cards. you squirmed a little in his lap and he held you a little tighter. "no need." he said, "be a good and stay still, my good luck charm." then pressed another kiss onto you warmed skin.

"are you winning, daddy?" you asked softly.

toto kissed you at the top of your head and replied, "no need to worry about that, my prize.' his fingers grazed your clothed sex once more and you felt a shudder run through you. couldn't be too loud at the cards table.

the stallion, the wolf, the feared man of europe. so many names for a man like toto. you kissed his shoulder and shifted in his lap a little as his fingers continued to make home under your skirt. you felt protected, safe in his arms. he was terrifying to most, but to you, he was just toto.

after another round and more chips in the man's possession. he asked you, "why don't we go back to the hotel? i know you wanted ice cream, but i'd rather something much warmer instead. let's collect our winnings, my prize." he said as he kissed your jaw that he held in his hand.

and who were you to deny your lover?

toto kept you close once the chips were cashed out. you both made it back to the hotel room, his larger hands were all over you once you were in the lavish room. he kissed your warmed skin, any inch of bare skin he could get his mouth on. you got out of your heels hastily and he soon looked down at you and rubbed himself through his slacks. he was a man who carried so much power, and you were the won drove his mad. to hold you, to have you, and devour you through sexual endeavor.

you laid naked on the king sized bed in the hotel room. toto found is amazing, an angel in a place like this. he smirked as he said, "you look beautiful, especially with no clothes on. you look like a dream."

he swallowed as he stripped himself free of his clothes. you admired him as article after article of clothes ended up on the floor. you rubbed your thighs together with anticipation. when he got into bed you wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. your bare breasts against his chest. he held onto you by the middle and smiled at you.

"are you going to be okay, daddy? do you want me on top?" you asked innocently.

toto raised an eyebrow, "what are you implying, my prize?" he pressed further into you and held you a little tired.

you replied, innocent still in your tone, "your knee, daddy. it was bothering you earlier, that's why i was seated on your other leg." and toto took you by the face.

"implying i can't keep up while in a little pain, my darling?" you were playing a dangerous game. you swallowed and shook your head. toto chuckled and kissed your heated cheek, "you look adorable. i know you worry about me, darling."

you soon ended up face down in the covers. toto had shifted your hips up and you moaned a little. you called his name, "daddy." and it was music to toto's ears as he teased your cunt.

he soon sank in, unable to wait much longer, and your noises got louder. he loved the feeling. it was unlike anything he had before. unlike any drug or person he ever had before, you were addictive in your own way. a scary man like him could easily fold because of you. it was sweet, toto knew his greatest weakness would be his forever. he quickened the pace of his hips up against you.

the older man kissed at your shoulders. he knew he could keep up with his prize. in the bedroom, man younger than him needed a little help. he didn't need anything to get him going, definitely no medications. he worked himself against you. your noises fueled his movements. you sounded like heaven with a body of an angel.

"mmm, fuck daddy!" you arched your back with a lustful force. your breathing was heavy as he fucked you with quicker movements. even at his age, he still hadn't slowed down.

"my little treasure. my little slut. most would kill for what you had. but you got it so easily all because you knew the right man to fuck. putting that needy cunt and slutty throat to use." he pressed into you further, "you're a special little thing. spoiled too, but i guess that's my fault." he held onto your hips a little tighter and until your voice got caught in your throat.

toto spoiled you and idolized you like the sun. but he could also be quite aggressive in the bedroom. you could feel him in your stomach, his hard length hit against the right areas. you were how everything. in a world of money, power and violence. you were a sliver of heaven that toto could come home to. not just sex, but when you cooked him dinner and played with his dark hair while on the cough together. being in your space, in your arms, in your heart.

you made his laugh just as much as you arousing him. you were his always his. toto was protective of you, that was why he needed to be as close to you as possible when he could. you arched your back a little and panted against the soft covers. it was probably the most comfortable place he had fucked you. you were certain that you still had imprints in your skin from the leather seats of expensive cars. you preferred a soft bed like where he was fucking you now

"all mine." he said with a bit more tenderness, "every inch is mine. top to bottom." his pace grew hungerier with each just of his hips. he wrapped a strong arm around your middle and bounced you on his cock.

"daddy!"

"you're just my little slut, aren't you? you love all the attention i give you. you leave me hungry for more with each time i have you. i'm obsessed with you, my little angel." and the devil would defile an angel, a wolf to devour a lamb. and toto wolff would fuck you until you were left a shaky, whiny mess. he continued to fuck you, he was rough with his movements and you were left moaning. he moved your body to his liking, which brought pleasure through your body.

his cock was bully inside of you. the head of a dangerous family, the man who knew his way around guns, knives and baseball bats. danger and blood clung to him like a second skin, but yet, he needed you. his angel plucked from heaven.

the woman he carnally desired.

"fuck, my prize. my treasure." he groaned as he listened to your sweet noises. you sugary sweet needy noises only fueled him to fuck you harder. he felt the excitement run through him as he worked your sweet pussy.

"daddy, please. i'm close." you arched your back a little more and your face further buried in the covers. you held onto them as he rocked into you. it was like a symphony of pleasure in your head. you were moved up and down on his cock, he fucked you with a heated purpose and left you gasping below him. it didn't take much longer before he felt you clench around him. your heated body came around him, encouraged by the bullying pace of your lover.

heavy pants and weak grasps of the covers, you came around his hard cock with your back arched and your voice muffled into the covers. the pleasure and lust boiled over and it made your entire body feel amazing. he kissed the back of your neck and you melted a little at his touch. you laid perfectly under him as he worked your spent body.

a few more heavy, heated thrusts and he finished inside of you. he shoved his entire length into you and felt the splash of heat. he groaned through a tense jaw at the feeling. he slowed to a stop and turned your head enough to kiss you on the lips before he pulled out. soon you were laid out on the bed together, toto had his briefs back on and you were wearing the undershirt he wore.

you were curled up at his side, your lover kissed our face. praise was loose on his tongue, you did such a good job for him. you felt like a dream and he loved you. you held onto him, and despite the danger that he could pose. he held you softly, with a total love and conviction he held for you. that he'd always have for you <3

[captainpetebradshaw]

so i watched 2x22 "the wire" for the first time today and it was a near religious experience so you're getting my thoughts on it under the cut

I love how comfortable they've gotten with each other; talking books? disagreeing about books? garak asking if julian can't just use his status as a doctor to get them to skip the line?

"perfect health, huh??" julian is so offended by garak lying to him about his condition lol

"i'm a doctor, not a botanist" is this some kind of star trek tradition?

"why can't he just tell me what's going on?" "it sounds like you're taking this personally" "i suppose I am... It's just that garak and I have been having lunch together once a week for more than a year now" once a week?! for more than a year?!

and then julian angrily stabbing dax's plant in frustration. let it out.

unsure if quark called julian to come get the absolutely hammered garak from his bar because he's the doctor or because julian is literally the only social contact quark could think of for garak???

"i prefer to drink somewhere quiet" "quiet? excellent idea... we'll go to my quarters" "whatever you want. but first i must make a stop at the infirmary" guess garak wasn't drunk enough for that little trick

but he was drunk enough to not notice the bottle hand-off to quark

"make it stop, make it stop..." aww no, poor baby!

julian using his doctor credentials to basically break into garak's. guess they ended up in his quarters after all

"if i was ever tortured, [the implant] was designed to stimulate the pleasure centers of my brain to trigger the production of vast amounts of natural endorphins" i gotta say, that has some freaky fucked up potential for fanfics and i can't wait to see how often it has been appropriated in the last 30 years

"living on this station is torture for me, doctor. the temperature is always too cold. the lights are always too bright. every bajoran on the station looks at me with loathing and contempt" ah yes, the autism experience

"why don't you just shut the damn thing off?" julian, do they teach nothing about addiction in med school?

i had to rewind this scene a couple times because i was chanting "kiss! kiss! kiss!" in my living room and didn't listen to a word they said. the 4:3 aspect ratio is also doing its thing

"has it ever occured to you that i might be getting exactly what i deserve?" "no one deserves this" julian going from all that taunting and appealing to garak's pride to this???? unexpected softness incoming

garak telling this story about how he is responsible for so many people dying and julian just saying right now he's just concerned for his health and won't let him die??? "you need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, i promise i'll help you through them" like this is insane. i assumed people shipped them for a reason (and lower decks made them "canon" for a reason) but i was LIVING watching this.

it also has to be said that andrew robinson is acting the ever living shit out of these scenes - fantastic

even odo can't get past protector mode chief medical officer doctor bashir

staying by his bedside? for hours???

shoulder touch denied!!!

it's wild, garak must be suffering so much in that moment but he's still spinning up some new potential backstory. maybe this time it's not a lie but we just don't know.

"and so they exiled you" "that's right! and left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you." "i'm sorry you feel that way. i thought you enjoyed my company." "oh i did! and that's the worst part. i can't belive that i actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into your smug sanctimonious face. i hate this place and i hate you." "ok, garak." addicts do get just absolutely hateful so this sounds pretty spot on to me.

on a side note, i don't think i could have done lunch every week with julian. he is smug and he has a big ego and i relate to the other senior officers who were sometimes a little condescending in their reactions when he was boasting about something or other. but that's ok, i don't have to. garak enjoyed it, it seems.

garak: you still have to learn the truth julian: heart eyes motherfucker

"why are you telling me this, garak?" "so that you can forgive me. why else? i need to know that someone forgives me"

"i forgive you. for whatever it is you did" "thank you, doctor. that's most kind"

so julian goes and finds the guy who's kind of responsible for garak having that implant in the first place. it's also i think the first time julian acknowledges they are friends?

"how sick is garak?" "he's dying" "and you're trying to save him?" "that's right" "strange... i thought you were his friend?" "i suppose i am" "then you should let him die. after all, for garak, a life in exile is no life at all"

"thank you" "don't thank me. i'm not doing garak any favors. he doesn't deserve a quick death. on the contrary. i want him to live a long, miserable life. i want him to grow old on that station surrounded by people who hate him, knowing that he'll never come home again. "what a lovely sentiment" "and it's from the heart, i assure you" <- that made me laugh

we learn garak's first name!

he's well again! back to the regularly scheduled lunch date!

and he's got a new book recommendation for julian, how nice

"what i want to know out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't" "my dear doctor, they were all true" "even the lies?"

"especially the lies"

smiley boys!

this ended up being more of a collection of my favorite quotes from the episode but that's fine with me. it's my post.

[my-life-is-a-sitcom]

unfiltered thoughts on wicked (not that deep or original but i need to have my say)

**spoilers, obviously, govern yourself accordingly**

the green paint becomes believable almost immediately. that baby is definitely CGI green tho

they really just spoiled the big reveal at the end of pt 2 that the wizard is her dad because that was SO obviously jeff goldblum 

jeff goldblum is only ever himself, i guess 

you really shouldn’t interact with your prof like that, Elphaba

Ariana is doing comedy. that much is true. but about 40% of it is editing AND people seem to forget this girl was forged in the fires of Nickelodeon physical comedy. she's a professional pratfaller

if they left less space between “so if you care to find me”  part and “no wizard who there is or was” i would have cried. but as it is, i just teared up. idk why jon did that

could NOT catch my breath when she started flying after she was falling and then at the end when she sang her final stanza 

v cute representation moment when she says “she’s green” and then says she doesn’t want to be degreenified. i felt that

more ozian words in normal conversation, please.

loved the meaningful and comedic use of idina and kristin. queens.

okay jonathan bailey. i am in love with you. you are a vision. i was having the most unhinged thoughts watching dancing through life 

the MICRO expressions from cynthia! the woman is using every single muscle in her face to convey emotion. she's using muscles i didn't know could be used independently from each other. ACTING.

on the subject of oscar nom for ari: honestly, i’m not sure. because it’s certainly a performance but it’s more comedic than dramatic and the oscars are so reluctant to reward comedy. she has some emotional beats but idk if she’s doing truly groundbreaking acting (see: pratfall point)

that being said, i feel like there’s buzz around both selena (emilia perez) and ariana just because people view them as pop stars so they think any level of acting is a big deal (forgetting they literally started with acting) 

can't stop thinking about the fact that ari’s hands are COVERED in foundation. what did they use??

[heylittleriotact]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the majority of death care professionals I’ve worked with have some sort of fucked up mortician-origin-story and got into funerals in the first place to either try and demystify death or cope with their trauma by constantly exposing themselves to it, and that’s literally what Emmrich has done his entire life and it’s why I love him so much.

Under the cut for some pretty raw death talk, including infant death, because fuck it - there’s a reason this pixel man lives rent free in my head and I’m about to get personal.

My Mom very unexpectedly and traumatically lost a full term pregnancy when I was 7. The first corpse I ever saw or touched was my dead sister. The first baby I held in my arms was dead.

What the fuck do you mean she’s dead? Why is she dead? She’s a baby. Babies don’t die. Old people die. Bad guys in movies die. Babies don’t.

And then from there it was like… months of infuriating and condescending bullshit from well-meaning people just wanting to reconcile with something that can’t really be reconciled with: people said a lot of stuff to me like, “it was God’s plan” or, “it wasn’t meant to be” or, “at least she didn’t suffer” or “God needed her more” and loads of other trite bullshit in the same vein, and it really, really fucked with me as a child.

I watched it destroy my already unstable mother and cause her to take out her complicated grief on me - her abusive tendencies sharply escalated after the loss. I think she resented me. I think she resented seeing how much the loss hurt me and felt that I had no right to be as upset as I was. I think she didn’t know how to support a grieving child when she didn’t even have the tools to support herself.

I felt so isolated and confused. I became obsessed with death and heaven and angels and the idea of a soul, and as I got older, I couldn’t let go of the belief that no child - or person for that matter - should have to go through what I did.

So I became a funeral director. Because if I could help one child in a horrific situation feel seen and validated, then I’d made a difference. If I could help one despondent mother towards the right resources, or even just fucking make her feel seen and validated too, maybe she’d wind up in a better place than mine did.

I wanted to say fuck you to death. I wanted to prove my defiance by helping the living people left behind pick up the pieces. I wanted to learn to handle the unavoidable, permanent, unfeeling existence of death with the cautious reverence that one would employ when handling a venomous snake. And I did. I helped a lot of people and it fed my soul in insurmountable ways.

I became that weird death obsessed friend who couldn’t talk about anything EXCEPT funerals and death and souls and embalming and what happens to your body when you die. If you had a curious question about death or funerals? I would jump on the chance to answer it for you. Needed help with the loss of a loved one? I’ve gotchu. I became The Death Guy (I guess I still kind of am - I’m still happy to front questions and help friends and family navigate death and funerals because the knowledge is all still there.)

Eventually it became a great way for me to bury other traumas that happened to me (an abusive childhood, sexual assault and all sorts of abuse at the hands of a partner) and just not really deal with them because I couldn’t: I didn’t have time to deal with my own shit because other people needed help more than me. After all, they were dealing with a death. My own problems were small in comparison, right?

It all caught up with me after living and working through the nightmare that was COVID, and I burnt out super hard, had a small breakdown, hit the sauce super hard for awhile, and developed a lovely anxiety disorder and full blown insomnia. Counselling and a career change have helped immensely, but yeah…

I obsess over this old man as much as I do because I see a lot of my own shit and insecurities and fears and unhealthy coping mechanisms in him, and I just want everything to be okay for him, because it ended up being okay for me. It just took a lot of fucking work to get there.

To be gifted a character as complex and real as Emmrich is some once in a lifetime shit, and I’m so glad he exists. Get his ass to therapy.

I'm glad we agree that Emmrich has an absolutely unconscionable amount of rizz. However, I also have a great appreciation for his proficiency at the great honored pastime of Being A Fucking Weirdo. My man goes to work at the Death Factory every single day and copes with his deep deep fear of dying by?? Cosplaying a skeleton? Taash was NOT WRONG when they called him the corpse guy. Even amongst other necromancers, he is THEE corpse guy! His best friend is a skeleton and he hasn't left the Cemetary Where He Lives for years. He is 90% ookie spooks and 10% bisexual disaster man. The only reason he's so suave and smooth is because the ookie spooks are actually load-bearing and manage to utterly obscure what a nervous wreck he is at all times of day. It's hard to give into the existential dread when you're spending all of your time saying shit like, "The tapestry of the Fade holds many threads."

I just know that this man is holding back the mother of all existential crises. He all but has it after he yoinks Rook out of the Fade but he bottles it back up so quick you KNOW that wasn't the whole thing. You KNOW that Rook is going to wake up in the middle of the night six months after Elgar'nan bites it and there Emmrich will be, lich or not, staring blankly at the ceiling and saying, "Darling, what does it all mean?" Emmrich Volkarin is a sexy, sexy man who needs therapy and some sleep and maybe an extended sabbatical from Dead People University.

[ladylooch]

Bones - Part 12 [ Mack x David]

A/N: This is completely unplanned... but there is a birthday celebration in here for David! On our real life Inspo, Jake's birthday! I love when things shake out this way.

Anyways, happy birthday to Jake. And to Davey. And enjoy a lil slice of heaven with our two love birds.

Word Count: 4.5k

October

Fall in New York is magical. Not as magical as the holiday season, but still gorgeous none the less. The weather finally gets cooler. The leaves begin to burst in gorgeous colors of orange, yellow and red. Then right around the corner, hockey season begins. Hockey has ruled Mack’s life in one way or another since before she was born. She wasn’t old enough to be resentful of that like Lucie by the time her dad retired, but there is something about being in this club of Rangers WAGs that has Mack excited for the upcoming season. 

She loves getting to spend so much time with her sister and her nieces. After everything that happened this summer with Tommy, Mack has really craved being around her family. She loves their spirit and protectiveness. But also the way they’ve rallied around David to support him through this difficult loss. 

Yes, there are many things about the fall and hockey season beginning that she loves. But there is still one thing she hates: 

Having to go back to sharing her husband. 

Mack hates the reality of hockey season and how many days apart the two of them will spend. Mack wants to pretend that she has found a balance in her fourth hockey season as a WAG but that would be complete bullshit. She still struggles with what to say yes versus what not to. She still yearns for David whether she is on assignment and he is gone or home. But she does think she is getting better at it.

Especially when her husband treats her to nights like this. Back where it all started in a place with checkered table clothes and outstanding pizza. They recently added a to die for tiramisu to the menu that has no business being in a place as small and hidden as theirs. But it’s there. Delectable and mouth watering, just like the man who holds her left hand. 

The two of them are walking in content silence back to their place. David holds their leftover pizza in his other hand. They’re dressed in dark jeans and sweaters. Mack has brown, high heeled boots on that slap the sidewalk with each step. David has on his own brown boots, worn and loved, with thick tan soles. 

“What time does everything start tomorrow?” Mack asks as they turn the corner onto their street.

“I’ve gotta be there by 9. But Woody and I want to go early to hit the weight room.” Mack gives him a look. He shrugs. “It’s tradition.” 

“You two are like an old married couple. Can’t do anything without the other.”

“I love that man.” 

“That’s why you actually married me, right? So you could be related in some way.”

“You caught me.” He nods solemnly before his face breaks out into a smirk. “You know why I married you.”

“Why?” Mack asks innocently. 

“For that wet, ass pu-“ 

“David.” Mack slaps her hand over this mouth, shrieking.

He grabs her hand, pulling it away, and then yells out: “Pussy!”

“Oh my god.” Mack widens her eyes at the people who turn to look.

“This is New York. They’ve heard worse.” David assures her. His arm goes around her shoulders, pulling her into the side of him so he can kiss her head. Mack sighs, closing her eyes and trying to memorize this feeling for the nights their bed is too lonely without him.

“I’m sad.” She finally admits to him. “I’m trying hard not to be, but I am.” David’s lips shift into a sideways frown. “I already miss you.”

“I know these next few weeks will be tough, honey.” He acknowledges. He pauses as they head up the steps. Philip hands over the door for David, letting him hold it for his wife as always.

“Have a good night.” He salutes them.

“You too!” Mack calls back. 

“Camp always seems so long. Once the season starts, its more normal. Less like, team activities and bonding and class or whatever you guys do.”

David delays his response until the doors shut. Then he puts his hand on her opposite hip, backing her up against the wall. He steps in front of her, cupping her face with his other hand. Mack’s breath disappears from her lungs, eyelashes fluttering as he hovers over her lips.

“I’ll make you forget about all that tonight.” His lips brush hers, but refuse to stay there long. Mack’s eyes screw shut as he kisses down her throat, then sucks the sensitive skin at the crook of her neck. She turns her face into his, fingers collapsing into his hair as he forces her legs apart with his thigh. 

By the time the elevator stops at their floor, Mack buzzes everywhere. Her nipples poke against the lining of her bra. Her panties are soaked through from grinding her crotch on top of his thigh. David pulls her out and down to their apartment in record speed. He fumbles with the keys as Mack reaches around to cup his hard erection. 

“Fuck, baby.” He leans his head back to the ceiling, pausing for a moment. Then he pokes after the key hole with more ferocity. 

When the door opens, David shoves Mack inside unceremoniously. The door slams behind them, then David backs Mack up to the wall quickly. Mack reaches behind her, feeling for the entry way table as he locks their lips back together. David grinds his hard zipper into hers. It’s not enough for him though. He hooks her leg around his waist then slams her back harder into the table. Mack’s breath stutters as his bulge brushes her clit. Her head falls back, hitting the mirror above the table.

A daze falls over Mack as her husband pulls away. He works open the buttons of her Levi’s, then his big hands slide around to grip her bare ass. 

“Fucking need you, honey.” He growls. 

Once his hands get her jeans off her feet, he picks her up with one arm around her waist. The other blindly tries to move stuff off the table so he can set her on top. Mack reaches back with him too. Their lips stay connected as things clatter to floor. Then Mack is on top. David spreads her legs wide before dipping his face down to her pussy, taking a long, hard swipe with his tongue. A gurgled moan gets stuck in Mack’s throat. Her hand comes to the back of his hair, keeping him there as she grinds into his face.

“So fucking hot, baby. Keep doing that.” His mustache tickles her clit as his tongue swirls around her wet entrance. Her inner walls collapse around his tongue as he steadily fucks her with it. “So fuckin’ sweet, Mackenzie.” He groans. He gets on his knees in front of her, a look that has Mack melting into his mouth when he puts it back on her. Arms and legs become goo as she hangs on, enjoying the build of his tempo and her orgasm. 

“Ah.” Mack’s blissed out moan spits out of her lips.

“Sounds so beautiful.” He praises her. “So gorgeous when you come on my face. Can you? Please?”

His lips wrap firmly around her clit then he sucks, lapping his tongue along the swollen bud until Mack shakes on the skinny table.

“David!” She yells out when he keeps sucking her through it. “Oh! Oh!” She tenses up, David grips her thighs with both hands to keep them open. Then Mack collapses against the wall and the table. She begins sliding off of it, but David stands, re-adjusting her limp body back onto the skinny wood. 

“Hell yeah. You're a knock out, honey.” He husks at her through gritted teeth.

David makes sure she is steady, before he works on unbuckling his belt. He shoves his jeans down his hips and half his thighs. He strokes his cock in his hand, squeezing the tip and moaning. He keeps stroking, licking his lips and looking at Mack. Everything about it is searing hot. Then Mack works her feet around his hips, pulling him into her.

“You can do that on the road. Right now you have me.” David chuckles, then kisses her as he eases himself inside of her.

David collects her wrists in his hands, then pins them above her head. Her skins smears smudges across the mirror behind her. As David increase his tempo, they get worse. Mack’s legs begin to shake and her body arches into him for more.

“Please.” She begs when he slows down. “Harder.”

David complies. He rails hard into her, shaking the table beneath his force. Mack feels slightly unsteady on the table, gasping in surprise which makes David stop. He steps closer to her, letting her wrists go and wrapping his arms around her waist to stable her. Then he unleashes into her.

“Oh right there! Yeah!” Mack howls out. She should be quieter now that they are back in an apartment building and so close to the door. But she can’t hold back. Not when he strokes her just right. Or how his balls slap up hard into her ass as he drills her down good. Mack comes loudly, curses and his name sliding from her puffy lips as she lets herself go. 

“I’m sure the neighbors don’t miss that when we were at the farm.” David murmurs into her hair as he pauses for a beat. Mack giggles softly in presumed agreement.

His cock gently glides in and out of her as David savors the wetness of her latest orgasm.  Mack hums, uncurling her fingers from his chest to grip his shoulders. With an idea, David pulls her off of him then the table. When her feet hit the wood floor, he pulls her onto the balls of them and nudges his cock into her from behind. One of his hands holds on her breast and the other spreads across her stomach.

Mack’s palms press hard into the entry way table, feeling it groan and sway like she does with each of his hard pumps into her. The wooden legs begin to wiggle harder. Mack moans for more. Then suddenly all she is holding in her hands is air. The table collapses under his vigorous thrusts, shaking the screws loose until they snap away from the wood. David's arms support her in place before her body can fall from its position.

The couple both groans in pleasure, then laughs to each other. Without the unsteadiness of the table, David drills down even harder. His strong arms hold her flush to his hips so her upper body is suspended in the air.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll build you a new one. Keep watching me fuck you in that mirror.” He insists, cupping her chin and turning her face to watch them.

Mack is in awe of what he is doing to her. How he doesn’t stutter or falter his movements. Just catches her body and keeps that pace like a damn machine. He keeps advancing on her, nothing stopping or slowing him down unless its at her request. David hooks her knee through his left arm, then forces her face onto the mirror over the broken furniture. Her cheek smudges join below the ones from her wrists. 

“Tell me who’s you are?” David demands right when she’s about to reach her high.

“Yours! I’m yours, David!” Her hot breath fogs the mirror beneath her red cheek, making everything hotter.

David’s groan is primal this time as her third orgasm tugs and collapses around him, pulling his seed from his swollen cock. With it comes a string of explicatives and greedy praises of her pussy. 

Mack is spent after they are done. A limp noodle in his arms as David smugly pulls her back into him, both feet on the floor. His fingers roll through her wet slit, teasing her stimulated clit until she shivers. Somehow, he still has energy.

“You’re insane.” Mack murmurs as he stands to his full height, almost unaffected by the orgasms he gave both of them. He strokes at her clit again, deliberate about asking for more. Mack grips his wrist and squeezes. She’s already had three. A fourth will have her covering this entry way and she isn’t open to that experience tonight.

“Could never have enough of ya.” He says simply, but respectfully.

He picks her up into his hands by her bare ass. He carries her to the bathroom where he sets her on the counter. He puts her heels on it, then wipes her clean with a wash cloth. Mack loves this part with him. She’s never had a man so diligent about after care and she’s glad this is the one she gets for the rest of her life.

Afterwards, he sets her down in the walk-in closet, then disappears out to the main area. He comes back with a tumbler of water and fresh cut peaches from the farmer’s market, setting them on her side of the bed. Before he goes to clean himself, he pulls back the comforter for her to crawl under into bed. 

Mack is happily snacking when he returns.

“Gonna get peach juice all over this bed like a lil mouse.” Mack grins, then exaggerates sucking up the peach juice into her mouth.

“That was you earlier.” She teases.

“That will be me tomorrow morning too.” Mack giggles, cheeks turning pink. 

“No, you’ll have to leave so early to hit the weights with Connor.” 

“I would never, ever choose weights with Woody over sucking on your sweet puss, honey.”

“Puss?!” Mack shakes her head, choking on a slice of fruit for a moment. “You’re so weird, babe.” She offers him a peach. 

“What’s weird about enjoying eating my wife’s pussy?” He pops the slice into his mouth, chews once then swallows.

“Calling it a puss is weird.”

“Okay I won’t call it a puss. Can I have another peach, owner of my sweet pussy?” He asks her. Mack giggles through his little pussy speech, eyes squeezed shut in pure joy at her funny, loving man. She hands over the bowl to him, signaling she is done.

As he eats the rest, Mack lays back into her pillows. She shuts her eyes for a moment, realizing how tired she really is. Her body goes still, unable to even adjust the covers over her shoulders better. The sound of the bowl resting onto David’s nightstand greets her ears, then she feels her body being pulled into his. The comforter is adjusted exactly where she likes it immediately after he gets her settled into him.

“Night, baby.” David whispers into her hair.

His breath smells like peaches and that’s the last thing Mack remembers before she falls into a well earned sleep.

- - - & - - -

February

“Are we starting? What do we need? We have to finish before Uncle Davey comes home!” Stella exclaims next to her auntie where she scrolls through the webpage on her phone.

“One sec, Stell.” Mack murmurs, looking over the recipe again. 

“He’s gonna see us!” Stella complains.

“Probably.” Mack nods. “We have to mix all this up, bake it, let it cool, then frost it. So yeah, he’s going see the cake before it’s done. Let’s allow that to be okay.” Stella stares at Mack, then rolls her bottom lip into her mouth. “The act of us making the cake is the surprise.” She soothes her niece. 

“Okay.” Stella nods, coming down from her anxious worries. 

“Chocolate?” Winnie asks.

“Uncle Davey prefers vanilla.” Mack reminds Winnie. Again. For the fourth time.

“Oh.” Winnie sighs, becoming a lil humpbacked with disappointment.  “I chocolate cake?”

“No. How about you and Stella go grab me the measuring cups?”

“Okay!” Winnie yells, taking Stella's hand to the cabinet.

Mack reads off the ingredients and baking supplies to the girls as they rush their little legs around the kitchen to grab them. When everything is set out on the counter, the girls begin. Stella gets to crack the eggs because she has more patience than her sister. Then Winnie gets to put together the dry ingredients to be sifted together. The whole ordeal moves along swimmingly except for a few hiccups. It’s all for the girls’ favorite Uncle after all.

Their favorite uncle who would rather stay in New York and watch their nieces then jet away for another Allstar break.

Lucie and Connor headed to Mexico on their own. Savannah and Lio were going to join them, but then decided to head to California to see Liv and Luca instead. Mack and David had thought about joining those two in California, and bringing the Wood girls with them, but ultimately, they both wanted to be home. Mack has traveled to seemingly every continent since the season started. She needs a break and to rejuvenate at her home base.

“Slow…” Mack murmurs to the girls as they work together to pour the batter into the greased cake pan. Mack holds the bowl while the girls scrape yellow spatulas across the surface. 

“Wait! This has peanuts in it!” Stella suddenly exclaims.

“No.” Mack assures her. Sometimes Stella gets confused with almonds and peanuts. “There is almond extract in it. You can have that.”

“Oh yeah.” She nods then brings the spatula up to her lips. She snickers as she takes a big lick across it with her tongue. Winnie watches, then imitates her older sister.

“Stinkers.” Mack chuckles.

Mack takes the bowl over to the sink and begins to rinse it off. She glances at the oven and sees it is ready to go at the correct temperature. Then the front door opens. The two Wood girls clatter off their step stools and run over to their uncle, dashing to wrap his legs up with their little arms.

“Whoa!” He exclaims, pretending to almost fall over.

This is good. David being back will keep the girls away from the oven while she puts the cake in. Stella would be fine, but Mack doesn’t entirely trust Winnie to not try to crawl on top of the open door. With that in mind, Mack makes quick work of tucking the cake in. When she turns, she laughs at David sliding across the floor with a child on each leg.

“Leg day got to me. So heavy.” He complains to her. The girls burst into giggles.

“It’s us! It’s us!” Stella cheers.

“Cake!” Winnie yells, running over and slapping her hands on the glass door of the oven.

“Win, that’s hot. Please don’t touch.” Mack reminds her. Winnie gasps, then pulls her hands back in a worried hurry.

“Ow!?”

“Let me see.” David murmurs, coming behind her. He crouches down, enclosing her in his arms to take a look. Winnie leans back into the safety of his chest, then gives her palms to him. “Should I kiss 'em?”

“Ya.” Winnie nods seriously, blue eyes big with tenderness. Mack closes her eyes, chuckling as David smooches across her completely fine hands.

“How is that?”

“Good.” Winnie nods, then she runs off into the living room. Stella has disappeared down the hall, probably flipping through the new book her and David picked up yesterday called “History of Bridges.” She has become completely fascinated with architecture, roads, bridges, and other structural landmarks. 

“Hi.” David wraps an around around Mack’s waist. She gets on her tip toes, kissing him in greeting. “What’s that?”

“A cake. For a certain birthday boy.”

“It’s my birthday?” He asks, feigning surprise.

“Yeah, another year older.” Mack pats his chest. 

“Another year full of loving you.”

“Nice. Way to make me look like an asshole.”

“That’s why you married me.” He chuckles.

Mack knocks her knuckles jokingly into his chin. He exaggerates like she punched him then spins and dips her in the kitchen. Mack laughs into their kiss, tilting her head back to look at Winnie who drops a slobbery kiss on her forehead.

“Oh thank you.” She sighs happily at her niece. “Should we watch some TV?” Mack asks Winnie.

“Yeah!” She cheers, jumping into the air with her fist high like Super Mario. She scuttles around the island with David chasing her then flies onto the couch. Mack follows after checking in on Stella, who wants to stay in her room rather than watch the movie.

The three of them snuggle up on the couch. Winnie is on one side of David and Mack on the other. By the time the final credits roll, Winnie is sprawled across David’s entire body, taking up as much residency as she can on him. The cake is almost completely cooled, so Mack calls Stella back out to the main area. David disappears to his and Mack’s place, so the girls can decorate without him peeking.

Stella and Winnie are each given a side of the cake to decorate to keep things as fair as possible. Mack pipes out the words, ‘Happy 60th Birthday, David!’ snickering the entire time. Then she steps back and lets the girls go at it. Winnie completely covers her side in huge piles of sprinkles. Literally piles like leaves in the fall. When Mack suggests she smooth them out, Winnie simply said “No.”

Stella took a more meticulous approach, pressing in mostly blue and red candy beads in a clear pattern. Mack grabs the candles, then gives David a call to come back to the Wood apartment. He pops in, smiling at the girls sitting on the counter, beaming at him.

He comes to the other side of the counter, soaking the girls in as they enthusiastically sing him happy birthday. He looks down at the cake, mouth dropping open in shock when he sees the number 60. He swipes a big finger across the frosting, then wipes it on Mack’s cheek.

“Funny.” He says as Mack laughs so hard tears form in her eyes. David isn’t mad at all. He lets her recover them licks the frosting off her face for her. “Now it’s my favorite flavor.”

“Ew.” Stella mutters. “That’s gross.” 

“Wish!” Winnie yells, eyes wide at the amount of sugar just before her finger tips.

“Hmmmmm.” David contemplates, bringing Mack into his arms. He looks over at her, smiling, then he kisses her tenderly. “Help me girls?”

Winnie and Stella oblige, so the four of them blow his candles out with him.

“I hope you all made wishes!” He exclaims as Mack heads across the kitchen to grab plates. The girls are impatiently patient as she cuts out four slices. They all head to the dining room table to eat. David raves about the cake and the girls beam excitedly, nodding along with his praise. The second the girls are done, they run around the living room together playing. 

“What did you wish for?” Mack asks as her and David hold each other in the kitchen after cleaning up.

“More birthdays like this.”

Mack loves that and agrees.

This birthday has been different than the other ones they have shared. The previous ones were either adult oriented activities or a full out fuck fest. It’s been nice to celebrate her man in a way that aligns more with who he is: soft, full of love, and cozy. Although Mack is still down for the fuck fest if he’s willing to risk it for the biscuit. 

The group orders pizza for dinner, then David opens all of his presents with both Winnie and Stella in his lap. They do more of the opening, but every time it’s not a toy, the girls are bummed. After, it’s time for the girls to get to sleep. Mack and David split bed time. She goes with Stella and he helps Winnie. Stella doesn’t need much help these days, so it’s really just a tuck in and a goodnight. As she is walking back to the living room, Mack laughs at Winnie’s head getting stuck in her pajama shirt.

“Win, ya gotta stop moving.” David chuckles, trying to get her to stand still for a second. She stops moving then stumbles head first into David’s chin. “Ow.” He murmurs, chuckling at Mack in the doorway.

“I sorry.” Winnie pats his chin softly.

“It’s okay.” He assures her. 

Winnie takes his hand as he stands, leading her over to her bed. She wiggles under the covers including her arms then begins to giggle as David forces the comforter under her body.

“Win ‘itto!” She yells. A Winnie burrito - her favorite part of the night.

David and Mack both laugh. 

“Goodnight.” Mack says first, smoothing Winnie's hair back.

“Bye.” Winnie calls, a little yawn stretching her mouth. 

“Goodnight, bug.” David murmurs. 

Then together, him and Mack head out to the living room. 

“I’m tired.” Mack says through a yawn.

“Yeah, me too.”

They both look at the clock, deciding it’s too early to really try to go to bed. Instead, David grabs them both a glass of red wine and they put on an adult focused show. They get interrupted about an hour later by a crying Winnie. She launches towards David on the couch, gripping at his shirt to keep herself as close as possible to him.

“It’s okay. You’re safe, Win.” He murmurs quietly, rubbing her back. She shivers in his arms. David wraps a blanket around her then clasps his hands around her back. “You can lay here with us for a bit.” He soothes her. She nods.

Within ten minutes, she’s out as hot puffs of air hit David’s neck. It’s not long before David is falling asleep too. His head falls back to the couch cushion, mouth open with soft snores. Mack smiles, running her hand through his hair after the movie finishes. On instinct, he flinches then pulls Winnie closer.

“Sorry.” He murmurs, then looks down at the sleeping child. “I’ll bring her back to bed.” 

David sleepily moves through the apartment. Mack clicks off the TV then follows him down the hall. She waits for him as he untangles Winnie from his body. He yawns hugely afterwards, grabbing Mack's hand to lead her down the hall to the bedroom they're staying in. 

As Mack changes into her pajamas, David strips down into shorts. They go through their night time routine- brushing teeth, washing faces, putting on night creams, before falling into bed together.

“Love you, honey.” David mumbles. Mack barely is able to respond before he is out again. 

As David sleeps, Mack thinks over their fun day. There was something a lot more meaningful about this year. It leaves a happy glow in her chest as she replays it in her memories, wanting to remember every moment of it. She wasn’t sure what to expect about having Winnie and Stella for almost a week together, but it’s been a good surprise. They’ve found a comfortable routine. They’re handling any issues that come up in real time. Then they get to fall asleep together in happy, satisfied lumps at the end of another successful day completely in sync. 

Mack's eyes slowly blink open, staring at the ceiling.

Maybe…

Mack isn’t sure how to complete that thought, but she can sense something beginning to shift inside of her. Something fundamental that began as a whisper and now is a gentle coo.

Maybe she could see herself with a life like this after all. 

Read more Mack and David here.

[smallangryandtired]

Being me is so frustrating and hard sometimes for me....

[yamikawaii]

theres just something about being inherently unworthy of love

[anthromimicry]

sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

[longagoitwastuesday]

.

[stunie]

ok so i hit 30 tags pretty early so i wanted to add extra thoughts under here i am SOOO SORRY OMFG ITS SO MUCH 😭😭 GOD

attempt 1 at reading - thoughts:

i love how you wrote the nervousness and hesitation of both reader and atsumu ): this relationship feels so genuine and realistic, like every thought is so real and complex and it all just plays out soooo vividly in my head. i can literally feel every single thing in MY SOUL. it got me holding my breath, my heart racing, my stomach churning

the kiss . the first kiss where mr suna interrupted . when i tell you i read it like this >//////< EXCEPT MY HAND WAS CLASPED SO TIGHTLY OVER MY MIUTH. oh my god the reaction i had. it really felt like a first kiss all over again, i was genuinely WARM and all blushy

attempt 2 at reading - thoughts:

i loved how u wrote out the tension again .. and your characterization for all of them ?? kita being all observant? osamu being all curious ?

the emotional rollercoaster i am on in this chapter is crazy. i took my first break after suna interrupted (the kiss killed me), and im taking my second break right after atsumu confesssd (i was killed a second time). i was irritated during the cafe bc WHY r u avoiding me, and then the next second i’m like squealing 😭 the way that u write yue !! the way that u write . i am such a mess right now give me another moment

attempt 3 at reading - thoughts:

holy shit this scene . the kissing ? THE AAY YOU DESCDIBED IT from the first kiss ?? this one made my stomach FLIP omfg .

oh god the neck kisses . the .. the everything . my left leg has goosebumps idk why it’s only my left leg am i okay yue ? am i okay what’s wrong with me

i have a little ways to go i’m almost done but i need yet another break holy shit i have been reduced to a dizzy lil mess what have i become

attempt 4 at reading - thoughts:

oh my god ): oh my god ): what am i even supposed to say here. i love how u wrote the smut part ?? it feels like actual love ? he is so sweet pls

osamu interrupting had me jolting upright BECAUSE SUNA FIRST NOW OSAMU ? is kita the next victim ?? poor baby

AGHHH THE ENDING IS SO CUTE i fr feel like im in an anime ): i feel so pretty and so lovely THIS WAS SO LOVELYYY TYSMMM YUE FOR WRITING THIS

v. MISUNDERSTANDINGS

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: vi. Epilogue: Sakura sweetness | series masterlist

synopsis: A drunken conversation with Atsumu leads to a cascade of events that has your mind practically exploding with endless questions, and with the way Atsumu has been acting, you want clear answers, and you’ll get them one way or another—even if it meant arguing in the twins’ shared apartment on a late Thursday afternoon.

chapter content warning: college au, mentions of alcohol use, intoxicated characters, cockblocker suna (rip), angst, hurt/comfort, awkward tension, atsumu & reader are dumbasses, arguing, light smut (mdni; nothing too explicit), nsfw, implied unprotected s*x, fluff towards the end yay, kita graduates from uni!, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, friends to lovers, not beta read.

word count: 6.1k

notes: AAACKKKK last chapter!! also happy 1 month to this series !! i’m surprised i got to finish this in less than 2 months lmao considering how slow i am w writing :< divider: cafekitsune.

Light. Everything felt light—your head, body, voice, heart.

It felt like all the weight of your shoulders had been lifted, and you could be as carefree as a bird soaring through cerulean skies to be one with the wind. Because right this very moment, nothing mattered at all, not even the fact that you stood before the person you’ve been trying to avoid since the new year rolled around.

Tucked neatly at the back of your mind like a silent reminder, you knew you shouldn’t trust your intoxicated self right now—whether it be your thoughts or feelings but the urge to stop wasn’t there, and you felt extremely optimistic about this—all thanks to the burning alcohol that clouded every bit of your judgement.

Everything felt right.

As you met his caramel gaze, your vision tunnelled, everyone, and everything that surrounded both of you slowly turned into nothing but a mix of hazy hues, upbeat music that spilled from the speakers fading into the distance as you, and Atsumu entered your own world—even the orange-haired male with the bright, doe eyes melted away from your view.

Just you, and Atsumu, exactly how it was supposed to be.

With a bated breath, Atsumu wordlessly nodded, and awaited your next move, as if shackled in a hazy trance. He was fully aware of the thundering heartbeat that rang in his ears, the way his slender fingers ever so slightly dug into the scarlet plastic cup in his hand, cheeks burning with unexplainable emotions.

“Let’s talk somewhere else.”

It took all the effort for Atsumu to ignore the feeling of your bare skin against his, the searing touch of your fingers around his wrist as you hurriedly whisked him away into the intimate space of their kitchen, as if to shield you both from everyone else’s prying eyes. Despite a stained judgement, the blonde was sure no one gave a single damn if you were to talk it out in the living room, everyone was in their own buzz anyway.

Nonetheless, Atsumu let you take the lead, whatever you wanted, he obliged. As though he was floating on cloud nine, his body became lighter with each step taken, head lightly spinning, warmth that radiated from your palm seeped into his flushed skin, prickly, miniature kisses engulfing his body.

“I’m okay now.” Resting your lower back against the ivory granite countertops, you stare up at Atsumu through your lashes, not noticing your lingering fingers curled around his wrist. For a brief moment, your breath hitched, stomach churning at the sight before you. The lighting behind Atsumu made him look like absolute heaven, flaxen strands glowing like the first rays beneath the warm illuminant, casting an ethereal halo at the back of his head. It didn’t help how he stared down as if your eyes held the cosmos in them, completely awestruck.

Whatever, you chalked it up to his intoxicated state. What else could it have been?

For a brief moment, Atsumu wracked his brain for context behind your words, and as the invisible lightbulb atop his head switched on, he was reminded of the situation at hand. It definitely pulled his consciousness into sobriety. Just a tad bit.

“A-are y’sure?” A breathless, almost dainty whisper slipped past his rosy lips. He took note of the way your gaze shifted ever so slightly downwards, eyes crudely lingering on the plush of his bottom lip as his tongue briefly swiped against it.

Atsumu’s Adam’s apple bobbed at your not-so-subtle stare, stomach churning with want. He knew this feeling all too well—it visited him whenever he was alone in his room, mind wandering over to thoughts of you which filled every corner of his mind; sometimes the feeling was too strong, other times he could bear it. Tonight, though, Atsumu wasn’t sure if he was immune to this feeling, let alone erase any impulsive thoughts from his intoxicated mind.

What pulled you into this decision was something you’d never figure out; maybe it was the fact that your yearning heart grew tired of the icy distance between the two of you or maybe you’ve truly come to terms with his unreciprocated feelings—you didn’t know. All you knew was that nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations, especially when it involved feelings. But this could be an exception, right?

“So . . Does that mean we can be friends again?”

It was weird. Atsumu’s voice brimmed with a sense of hope—as if he’s been waiting for this very moment for the past two weeks—but the strange glint in his caramel eyes betrayed the blonde entirely.

Despite your better judgement, you chalked it up to the warm light that casted a soft shadow upon his features; maybe you were too dizzy to see things clearly, or maybe you were looking too deep into Atsumu’s expression—hoping to find some sort of sadness upon hearing your decision to move on, and accept his rejection.

Atsumu watched as your eyes traced his features, closely observing them as if to find some kind of answer; as selfish as it seemed, the intensity in your eyes gave him a tinge of hope that perhaps you could let yourself pine over him just a little longer because he wasn’t sure what he’d do with the knowledge that your heart would no longer yearn for him.

The situation was a double-edged sword, really.

You let out a puff of breath, “Yeah, of course. We’re friends again.” Friends. That word should have given you more relief than sorrow but could you really blame yourself? It felt like a bitter reminder of cold rejection which resembled salt pressed against an unhealed wound, a searing itch that left your skin feverish.

Even if it meant selling yourself short.

Avoiding his eye contact, you swiftly unwound your fingers from his wrist, mentally cursing yourself for not noticing any sooner. A cold embrace engulfed Atsumu’s wrist, where your fingers were mere seconds ago, he tried his best to ignore how his body yearned for your warmth. He gave a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

For a moment, you stood in each other’s silence like two predators sizing up one another, eagerly waiting for one’s move before pouncing, the silent hum of the fridge making up for the lack of conversation between one another.

How strange, this agreement should have cleared the unsettled air between you, and Atsumu but why did it feel like the complete opposite? As if the air turned into something more uncertain. You both knew you could feel the uncanny tension rising up, up, up but not one dared to address it.

Swiftly burying it under the rug, Atsumu spoke, thinly slicing through your trance, “You’ll find someone better.”

God, he must’ve really matured this new year because he didn’t know how he was able to say that straight to your face. Being one to wear his heart on his sleeve, this was completely foreign for Atsumu—or maybe he just got better at masking his true emotions.

You closed your eyes upon hearing his response, as if doing so would help you brave the weight of his words. It didn’t. That was the last thing you wanted Atsumu to say to you, ‘someone better’, it was brazen of him to think so poorly of himself, as though he wasn’t that certain someone. It was entirely unfair on your end because who was Atsumu to determine which person was for you?

Even just thinking about it had you fuming, rejection was one thing but completely disregarding the reason behind your feelings for him was another because in your eyes, Miya Atsumu was that ‘someone better’; he was the one who understood you the most, the one who always looked out for you, the one you fucking wanted.

And despite your mind telling you to nod along, and suck it up, the alcohol in your body was stronger; so, you opened your eyes, and furrowed your brows at him,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“But I don’t want anyone better, Tsumu. I want you.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened, the desperation in your voice was something he hadn't heard before, it definitely pulled at his heart, guilt gnawing at his skin for being the sole reason for your drunken actions. He may be drunk but he wasn’t stupid, Atsumu knew you should’ve kept that one to yourself, he could practically see you brimming with temerity but he’d be lying to himself if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat or two.

I want you, too. God, he wanted to say it back badly. The words were lodged in his throat, unable to slip past his lips despite the best efforts to do so.

It dawned on him—right then, and there—the severity of your feelings for him, the immense weight of it. Now, guilt really ate him away; he could only imagine how the past two weeks were for you. Did you cry while thinking about him?

That was the last thing Atsumu wanted.

Though, amidst the guilt, something else blossomed in his chest, it made him feel like he stood upon the highest pedestal. Atsumu didn’t know whether it was pride or greed; as fucked up as it was, he couldn’t bring himself to push the impulsiveness away as though you’ve infected him with your own. His heart hammered at a thought that formed in his mind, even just thinking about it stirred his chest.

Despite Atsumu’s better judgement, he held onto the feeling with a tight grip, and opened his mouth, tongue nervously swiping at the bottom lip,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“Is . . Is it bad that I really want to kiss you right now?”

You sucked in a breath, heart pounding at Atsumu’s sudden confession. If you were sober, you’d have a million thoughts racing through your mind right now, questioning the feelings he really had for you but unfortunately, only one thing was on your mind—how badly you wanted to kiss Atsumu too.

Dragging yourself further down, down, down the void of uncertainty, you shook your head in a daze,

Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.

“What if I say I want to kiss you, too?” 

Barely audible but Atsumu heard it just fine over the pounding of his heart, over the incoherent conversations beyond this kitchen, over the muted bass music because as long as it's you, he’d always listen, even if it meant drowning out the entire world.

Then, there was a heartbeat, a passing second, a dip of a finger to test undisturbed waters; the funny thing was that even a minute disturbance could cause a ripple effect for miles, and miles, awakening the dormant creatures that lay beyond the azure surface.

It was swift, as though Atsumu had been waiting for this very moment to happen—one second you were locked in a trance, the next his lips were pressed against your own, a shared warmth of intimacy searing both bodies in an eternal blaze like a blue flame that dangerously destroyed everything in its path.

Shy. Warm. Soft. Rosy. Like it was meant to be. The list could go on, and on but it was as though your thoughts came quickly before your mind could register them, leaving you in a white, empty haze. With the plastic cups long forgotten on the counter behind, you closed your eyes as Atsumu’s body eagerly pressed against yours, strong arms coming up to rest on the granite countertop behind you, fingers digging into the material to ground himself.

For a moment, everything was still, lips unmoving against each other, a time to bask in this newfound intimacy—the foreignness of one another’s body. The earth felt like it spun on its axis way faster than usual, as if day, and night merged to become one; hues of late dusk, and early dawn intertwined like your bodies.

Bitterness from Atsumu’s rosy lips lingered on your own; you never liked the taste of beer but oddly enough, you didn’t mind it at all.

Your hands cupped Atsumu’s jaw, fingers gently digging onto his soft skin, eager for more as your lips moulded together. Slowly moving his mouth against your own, you followed suit to match the sensual pace he had set, falling deeper, and deeper between the hazy boundaries of friendship, and something a little more. Low whimpers slipped past between each feverish kiss as a drunken greed gradually controlled your bodies.

The initial softness of the kiss dissipated as each second passed, slowly turning into something more carnal, and passionate—breaths becoming heavier, and faces eagerly pressed against one another, angled in a way to grant more access.

Was this what cloud nine felt like? Exhilarating? Euphoric? As though there was no one else—

“Oh!—Holy shit. Did I interrupt?”

A familiar voice violently pulled you, and Atsumu back into reality, swiftly jumping away from each other’s hold, and looking over to the owner of the voice. Suna. The brunette stared at both of you—looking like a deer caught in headlights, chests heaving—his expression was unreadable, almost like a mix of shock, and amusement. You, and Atsumu kissing in the kitchen was absolutely not in his new year bingo card.

Well, this encounter certainly was enough to strip you into sobriety.

Your head spun a little, lungs severely deprived of oxygen. Shame, and realisation settled deep in your bones—shame because Suna just caught you, and Atsumu almost sucking the soul out of each other, and realisation because everything about this whole situation was so wrong; a million questions formulated in your mind as each awkward second passed.

On the other hand, Atsumu was equally as horrified, albeit annoyed that he didn’t have the chance to kiss you longer. The thrumming of his heart pounded in his ears, his mind trying to come up with anything to say just to stop the thoughts formulating in Suna’s mind—oh, he knows that look on his friend’s face very well.

Your view became obstructed by the expanse of Atsumu’s back, a subtle attempt to block you from the brunette’s gaze.

“W-what the hell, Suna?! Don’t jus’ barge into the kitchen, ya scrub!” Atsumu tried his best to act tough but miserably failed with the shakiness in his voice betraying him.

As if to make matters worse, Suna didn’t back down, a smug look painted on his flushed face as the blonde shamelessly blamed him,

“Well, how was I supposed to know that you two were sucking each other’s faces in the kitchen?!”

Did he have to word it like that?

Atsumu opened, and closed his mouth, trying to think of ways to deny Suna’s accusations but his mind went blank, even with just the brunette mentioning your kiss had him blushing like a mad man. Silence yet again occupied the kitchen, low bass music spilled from the speakers, and incoherent chatters from beyond the space making up for the lack of conversation.

Before the situation could get even more awkward, you spoke up, “I . . think I’m just going to go . . ” This gained both their attention, carefully watching as you navigated past Atsumu, and out the kitchen.

The blonde watched as you staggered past him, and Suna; he wanted to go after you, and talk about what just happened but the soles of his feet stayed rooted on the ground, too heavy to lift, even the words he wanted to say were lodged in his throat.

So, Atsumu decided it was best to let you go.

Monday. 

Everyone’s enemy but also a day to gather around the campus coffee shop with friends, and be productive for a while. The calming aroma of coffee engulfed your senses; low chatter from other customers, faint jazz music, and the occasional hum of the coffee machine filled the table from the lack of conversation. Despite the café’s light ambience, it didn’t do much to hide the growing tension that surrounded the group, specifically you, Atsumu, and Suna.

Kita was the first to notice the subtle shift of aura that emanated from you three, especially after catching a glimpse of Suna’s narrow eyes trailing from you to Atsumu over his laptop screen; though, he had much more things to worry about than to indulge himself in whatever tomfoolery this was. He’d ask questions later.

On the other hand, Osamu was more than curious, especially after his older twin started acting out of character—Atsumu wasn’t one to engulf himself in thoughts to the point where he’d be staring at an inanimate object, in a complete daze but lately, Osamu has seen him behave as such.

The latter could practically feel the weight of awkwardness pressing against his skin as he subtly watched the three of you. Of course, he did his best to pry off information from the blonde only to no avail; Osamu didn’t know why Suna was even caught up in this but he suspected it was from the party a few days ago.

He remembered seeing you stumble out of the kitchen when he was on his way to grab more drinks from their fridge, the younger twin thought nothing of it until he was met with Suna, and Atsumu awkwardly standing in the kitchen. Normally, Osamu would’ve asked questions that night but the alcohol in him couldn’t care less about the situation.

Staring at the untouched document pulled up on your laptop, you ducked behind your screen to avoid Suna’s wandering gaze, and Osamu’s not-so-subtle curiosity. This was hell. You didn’t even know why you decided to turn up today after that shit show at the party—maybe because you thought you could shove down that memory especially after telling Atsumu that you were fine or maybe you craved the closeness you two once had, and now you were here to rebuild that.

As easy as it sounded, you feared it might not be so with the way Atsumu has been avoiding you like the plague. First, it started when you walked into the café at the same time as the twins, Osamu greeted you at the door before heading inside leaving you, and Atsumu outside. Now, that would’ve been fine if the latter didn’t make a show of taking a couple of steps back to let you go first as though you carried some kind of incurable disease.

The second time was when Atsumu realised the only vacant seat was next to your own, thus, asking to swap with Osamu just so he could sit farthest away from you. And the third was when you had asked him if he was alright while waiting in line to order only to be met with a mindless nod before returning to his phone in his hand.

You tried your very best to ignore the blooming pain in your chest; sure, being sad about Atsumu possibly avoiding you was reasonable but then again, you were the one who told him you were okay now—how Atsumu decided to act after the party was beyond your control.

God but it pissed you off. Swallowing one’s pride, and making effort to rekindle a cold friendship was not an easy feat when the other doesn’t do the same. It shouldn’t work you up this much but it did, and now you were second guessing yourself that maybe it was an irrational decision to abruptly tell Atsumu that you’ve come to terms with moving on.

That night at the party, were you lying to yourself just so you could be around him again?

Whatever. It was too late to take it back anyway.

The days ahead were monotonous, and boring; you, and Atsumu remained orbiting around one another, careful not to get into each other’s path of trajectory but it was tiring. Not only did it feel like navigating through eggshells while he was around but the constant questions from your friends tested your limits. Though, it wasn’t their fault for simply being curious, and getting left in the dark about the whole situation but the prying felt like endless jabs of sharp needles along your skin.

From their point of view, you, and Atsumu were stubborn about the whole situation. None dared to speak up about it, acting as though everything was fine, so your friends were left with very little to work with.

It felt like a game of cat, and mouse where you were the feline chasing Atsumu around. The longer the days dragged on, the more thoughts formulated in your mind, and they all involved the blonde in some way or another. And just like everyone else, you had your limits too; you were tired of Atsumu acting like a stubborn idiot.

When you confessed to Atsumu, sure, you expected an awkward phase but this was even worse. There wasn’t just distance between the two of you, it felt like you were strangers.

He was known for brashly saying the sharp truth, so why couldn���t he be straightforward with you? Was he disgusted by the kiss, and deeply regretted it? Did he think you were weird? You didn’t know, but you were bound to find out even if it meant knocking at the twin’s apartment door at 5:45 PM on a cold, rainy Thursday.

With the sun hidden behind the looming grey clouds, the late winter afternoon was even darker; the roads were packed with vehicles while the sidewalks occupied students, and company workers alike trying their best to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. Despite the streets being illuminated with a tinge of warm yellow from cars, and streetlights, it did nothing to brighten up the gloomy day.

Funny, it was as though the universe knew how you felt today.

“If yer lookin’ for ‘Samu, he won’t be back until 8 PM.” Greeted with Atsumu’s shocked face as the ivory door to their apartment opened, you couldn’t help but visibly roll your eyes at his stubbornness. Yeah, like you’d be here at their apartment looking for Osamu—you knew each of their timetables like the back of your hand.

Flaxen strands that sat atop his head were unruly, a sign that he must’ve been taking a nap sometime ago. Atsumu donned a light blue hoodie paired with black sweats; you tried your best not to ogle the man, after all, you were here for a sensible talk.

“I’m here for you, Miya.”

Atsumu gripped the metal handle a little tighter, the coolness of it seeping into the warmth of his skin. He tried not to flinch at the sudden formality of the conversation. Nonetheless, the blonde pulled the door wider, a wordless invite to their humble space. Giving him a small smile before walking inside, you tried not to think about the last time you were here, and how you found yourself drunkenly kissing Atsumu in their kitchen.

The sound of the door closing shut behind Atsumu reverberated throughout the walls of their apartment, followed by a deafening silence. Met with his honeyed stare, you awkwardly coughed, and played with the hem of your jacket, “I’m not going to take up too much of your time . . but I do just have one question.”

There was a momentary silence as Atsumu waited for you to proceed; he had so many questions running through his mind right now, and it took all his willpower to hold them back, and let you speak instead. It was getting harder, and harder to focus as each second passed with the pounding of his heart—Atsumu didn’t know what to expect.

“Did you—Did you regret that kiss . . ?”

Your skin burned as the question lingered in the air, a beat or two before Atsumu finally spoke up, “. . N-no, why’d ya ask?”

Sighing, impatience prickled your feverish skin. ‘Why’d you ask?’  What the hell does he mean by why would I ask? We made out for fuck sake, that’s something friends don’t do! Why is he acting so casual about it? 

“God, this just made it a lot worse. I have so many fucking questions that my mind wants to explode right now,” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you slowly paced back, and forth, the floors beneath silently creaking with each step. So, Atsumu didn’t regret the kiss but he’s acting like you’re strangers—fucking hell, why did he even kiss you in the first place?!

Your mind was a complete mess.

Trying to calm yourself down with slow, deep breaths, you decided to address the elephant in the room first, “Then why have you been avoiding me, Atsumu?—I’m sorry but I’m the one who got rejected, I cannot think of any reason why you should be avoiding me like this.” Atsumu hated that look on your face—the desperation, the sadness, the frustration. He never thought that he’d be the one making you feel all these negative emotions, and it pained him as much as it pained you.

Atsumu let out a sigh, carefully formulating the right words into a coherent sentence, “I’m just . . trying to be careful, okay?” His stomach dropped as your face contorted with more confusion.

Did he say something wrong?

“Careful about what, Atsumu?! You—ugh! It’s so hard to talk to you when you’re giving me all these stupidly vague answers! I’ve already told you I was fine. I don’t care anymore that you don’t like me back. I just want us to be back to normal again.”

Now, it was Atsumu’s turn to be upset. He couldn’t bear the thought of you moving on so quickly, and that’s why he’s been acting distant lately; it annoyed him how easy it was for you to talk to him like nothing happened but Atsumu knew he couldn’t tell you the reason—why couldn’t you just try, and understand his situation? Rejecting wasn’t an easy task to do, especially if it was the person he had been hopelessly pining for.

“Well—maybe things aren’t meant ta back ta normal!”

What?

You stared at him for a second, brows furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words that lingered in the cold air of their apartment. Silence engulfed the two of you, the distant sounds of Hyōgo’s late afternoon rain seeping through the slightly opened window.

“Do you feel uncomfortable around me after knowing the fact that I have feelings for you? Is that it?” “God, no—I could never feel that way.”

It took all of Atsumu’s patience not to wrap his arms around you—he wanted to hold you against him badly; that defeated look on your face broke his heart but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Maybe Atsumu was the coward after all.

“Then tell me what’s wrong, ‘Tsumu!”

“It’s hard f’me as well, y’know?!” “What is?”

Atsumu closed his eyes, the words he’s been wanting to scream at the top of his lungs lodged in his throat, threatening to slip out. A wave of adrenaline rush coursed through his veins, heart pounding like crazy with this newfound high, it made him feel as though he was invincible—as if he could say anything, and everything without a care for its consequences.

Fuck it.

“Fuck—It’s because I like ya back, okay?! I always have! And rejectin’ ya was so goddamn hard f’me because I’m still not over ya. God, I think about ya every single second, and it pains me so much because yer already movin’ on, and ‘m still stuck here.”

What?

Flabbergasted, you stared at Atsumu all wide-eyed, the thrumming of your heart becoming increasingly loud against your ears as each slow second passed. Did he just say he liked you back? As though mother nature was watching, the rain outside poured harder; sounds of droplets of heavy water against the roof filled the silent apartment, pulling you back into reality.

“Then why—If you feel the same way then why did you reject me?”

When you knocked on the door to the twins’ apartment, you expected a sincere conversation with Atsumu, not him confessing his feelings out of the blue. You were absolutely speechless—you didn’t know whether to jump for joy because he actually does like you back or whether to massage your temples from pure confusion.

“Back then during the trip, ya told me ya weren’t ready for a relationship yet, and that ya only wanted ta confess ta get rejected n’ move on. I wanted ta respect yer decision, so . .”

Flashbacks of said conversation from the trip quickly came into mind, and how you told Atsumu about not being ready for a relationship yet.

Oh.

Oh.

The weight of frustration from your shoulders slowly dissipated, the pent up annoyance you held in your heart was gone too. Suddenly, you weren’t so frustrated anymore after learning about the whole truth behind the situation. You were able to breathe better with the bad air finally cleared between you, and Atsumu.

Looking at it now, you felt absolutely silly. The whole situation turned out to be one big misunderstanding, it was almost laughable—now, you truly understood the essence of communication is key.

You let out a humourless laugh, “You’re so stupid, you know that?” Taking a few steps toward the blonde, you leaned your forehead against his chest, a hand coming up to curl into a fist to lightly hit it; a faint scent of his musky cologne lingered on the fabric of his hoodie, effectively invading your senses. Atsumu didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your torso, pulling your body flush against his before resting his chin on the crown of your head.

For a beat or two, you, and Atsumu remained in each other’s hold, basking in the cosy atmosphere. 

“Would I be more stupid if I tell ya I want ta pick up where we left off at the party?”

Before you knew it your lips were sealed in a searing kiss—this time, it felt raw, all things passionate, and eager. Hands impatiently roaming each other’s unexplored bodies, sounds of wet kisses slowly filling up the apartment. The atmosphere shifted from cosy to something more sensual, light groans, and moans slipping in between each kiss.

Your hands rested on Atsumu’s golden strands, fingers gently tugging at it as he worked his lips down the column of your neck, teeth lightly nipping at the feverish skin. Atsumu focused on a certain spot just below your ear, nipping, and sucking at it which pulled a dainty whine from your lips.

“‘T-Tsumu—Ah!” You gasped, his tongue leaving trails of goosebumps beneath its sinful licks against your skin. He cursed under his breath, the dizzying tone of your voice awakening the slumbering carnal beast that resided in his core. With each dulcet moan that slipped past your swollen lips, Atsumu became greedier, he wasn’t going to settle for mere kisses on your skin—he needed to hear more.

Pulling away from your intoxicating scent, Atsumu looked down at you with parted lips, and hooded eyes, caramel gaze clouded with nothing but pure desire. “I think we should take this ta my room.” He panted.

Nodding at his proposal, hurried footsteps padded over to his room as though each second wasted was crucial. As soon as the door behind Atsumu slammed shut, his lips were on yours once again, strong hands deftly working on the layers of clothing you wore, slowly slipping them off of you one by one; Atsumu could practically feel himself shaking with nervousness, and excitement.

Discarding your top on the wooden floor beneath, Atsumu stared wide-eyed at your torso, both hands coming up to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra, earning a low moan from you. The air of the room felt cold against your skin but Atsumu’s touch was enough to ignite you.

“So beautiful . .” He absent-mindedly gasped, a lovestruck look in his honeyed eyes.

Hands eagerly tugging at the hem of his hoodie, Atsumu swiftly pulled the fabric off his torso in one movement, golden strands tousled from the action. Goosebumps formed upon his sun kissed skin, bare torso met with the cold winter air; your eyes raked Atsumu’s physique up, and down, shamelessly ogling his muscled chest in all its naked glory. God, you used to just fantasise about this, and now it was served right in front of you on a silver platter.

You decorated each other’s skin with endless love bites, sinful hues of dark red, and purple peppered along your chest, and neck. Atsumu took his sweet time to savour every bit of you—your taste, your scent, your sounds, everything. He made sure to bask in your serene beauty, the gentle glow of your bare figure before utterly devouring you like a starved animal, ravaging your purity with carnal desire.

Atsumu let himself go at the raw intimacy of your bodies, the feeling of your sweet warmth brought tears of pleasure in his eyes as he pushed, and pushed towards the newfound ecstasy you both shared. The chant of his name slipped past your lips like a sinful melody, mere fuel to the relentless drive of his hips. But Atsumu held you dearly against his naked body through it all, fingers intertwined with your own as he keenly chased both your pleasures, choked out moans of your name whispered hotly against your sensitive skin.

And as you both tipped over the edge, Atsumu didn’t fail to tell you how much he loved you in between each pathetic moan as he painted your insides white, the dizzying pleasure contorting his handsome face in pure ecstasy. You held him in your arms, nails digging crescent-shaped marks on his skin, whispering saccharine praises to him as you let go, and emptied the words of your heart.

As the gentle aftermath of the passionate exchange rolled around, Atsumu held you in his arms, hearts beating as one, and lulling you both to sleep. The last thing you heard was a faint ‘I love you’ before passing out from exhaustion.

“‘Tsumu, what did ya want for—Oh my god! What the fuck?!” 

A familiar voice abruptly pulled you, and Atsumu out of your sleep, followed by the loud bang of his door slamming shut. Muffled expletives from outside the room could be heard as you both stirred beneath the ivory sheets. “‘Tsumu, what the hell?! Ya should’ve warned me before I went into yer room!” Osamu yelled from the other side of the door.

Atsumu groaned, rubbing his face before turning to the door, “Shut yer trap! Ya should’ve knocked!” At his twin’s silence, he let out a sigh, and slung a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his naked body before closing his eyes once again.

You let out a soft chuckle, “We really need to stop getting caught. First, Suna, and now Osamu.” Atsumu hummed in response, too sleepy to even think or form a coherent sentence. Snuggling closer to him, you closed your eyes, and went back to sleep as well.

Oh, you could get used to this.

Winter slowly turned into spring as March rolled around—the end of the academic year.

Trees that were once bare slowly blossomed with flowers, hues of yellows, and browns were replaced with endless greenery, and frigid air became more welcoming like a warm embrace. Most importantly, the cold distance between you, and Atsumu no longer existed, instead, it was replaced by fluttering heartbeats, and fluffy moments that hinted at a sweet forevermore.

“There he is! How does it feel to be a fresh graduate!” Suna whistled as Kita walked over to the group, clad in a black academic gown with a matching trencher propped neatly on his head, the golden tassel on the cap swayed with every step taken; he donned a warm smile, one hand holding his well-deserved degree.

The buzz of excitement outside the venue was high, the graduation ceremony having finished just a few minutes ago. You were all surrounded by graduands, all with heartfelt smiles on their faces as they conversed with family, and friends alike. 

As your friends fell into a merry conversation, a warm hand interlaced with your own, giving your hand a comfortable squeeze. Atsumu. Looking up at your boyfriend, he cheekily leaned into your ear, whispering an ‘I love you’ before slowly blinking at you, mirroring a cat’s action. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at his antics.

“Are you two lovebirds done, now?” Suna coughed, pulling you back into reality.

Met with amused expressions plastered on your friends’ faces, you, and Atsumu returned a sheepish smile before joining in their conversation. “Anyway, we were talkin’ about how we should celebrate Kita’s graduation. It can also serve as a treat for us for makin’ it through another academic year.” Osamu explained, earning a hum of approval from you, and Atsumu.

“How about a spring trip to Kyoto?” —

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