#and i kind of know what im going to do but i dont knowwwww

[frecht]

feeling sick and anxious for no reason again. 2 days in a row woohoo:///////////

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[omegasmileyface]

idkkkkkkk sometimes i feel like the me that exists in happy communities like discord servers and flight rising and lives in my it/its and my byte/bit and my ^w^s and my astro boy posting and the me that goes to work and lies on my bed rotting and wants to go back on the stage so badly but cant because of covid and gets called by my given name and wears a posh coat and skirt are different people who are at war with each other.

[n0vazsq]

Sweetest Pie | LN4 x Reader

pairing . . . lando norris x singer!reader

summary . . . Mclaren invites you to come watch the Miami Grand Prix with them after the release of your song. However, some fans notice you being there is more than just a guest appearance

request . . . no!!

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . dua lipa my beloved

alexavia yaps . . . on the smau grind gng woohoo!! did you spot the refrences i made?? i love love love love dua so ofc i had to do a smau with her!!! its kinda shitty and rushed but i wont be uploading ANYTHING until wed so thats why i kinda rushed it

yourusername

liked by theestallion, madisonbeer, lando and 3.6M others

yourusername i'll drive and you just lay back - sweetest pie out in all music streaming apps right now! Tagged: theestallion

click to view all comments

username1 IM SO HYPEDDDDDDDDD

username2 i just know this is going to HIT

username3 from the teaser it sounds good

username4 IM SO GLAD I GOT THE DELUXE VER

username5 gorgeous

username6 mothered so hard a f1 driver appeared in her likes

username7 my GOD shes stunning

username8 LANDO???

username9 i cant wait to listen to this 24/7 holy shit

theestallion loved working with you so much!

yourusername thank you!! i loved working with you too!

username10 how does it feel to be a goddess y/n

username11 the music video.

username12 had me on my KNEES

username13 screaming crying throwing up

username14 im giggling at the lyrics

username15 i need more ASAP

username16 this song live will hit so hard

username17 I KNOWWWWW

username18 man im itching to get this on

username19 im never shutting about this for like another 6 weeks

username20 watch her disappear for like 2 more years just to drop another banger

username21 stop why is lando in the likes

username22 he has a crushhhh

username23 MEOW

username24 y/n im single btw hmu

username25 as if

username26 she doesnt interact with us commoners

username27 i need to know who shes singing about

username28 oh to be in a relationship with her

madisonbeer already have this playing on repeat

yourusername i love you

madisonbeer love you more

username29 WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF

username30 DIED. DECEASED. GONE. ROTTING.

mclaren

liked by yourusername, lando, oscar_piastri and 6.8M others

mclaren surprise guest for the miami gp! welcome the famous singer y/n! Tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

yourusername would've loved to be in orange but it isn't my colour </3

lando don't worry you look beautiful in everything

This reply has been deleted

mclaren don't worry y/n! you still looked beautiful!

username31 LANDO!?!??!?!

username32 SIR.

username33 okay so im not schizo and lando did comment hitting on y/n

username34 living the dream

username35 they better blast her song or im suing

username36 sigh i wish i was her

username37 another celebrity who doesn't know anything about f1

username38 they should just give these tickets to people who actually want them

username39 wasnt y/n a f1 fan since she was a kid???

username40 she was idk what these idiots are yapping about

username41 MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

username42 woah

username43 can she like marry me idk

username44 can't wait for the race tomorrow ahhhhhhhh

username45 imagine if lando wins

username46 she's his good luck charm then

username47 sigh i want to be as pretty as her

username48 STUNNING.

username49 ate up everyone frrrr

username50 LANDO BAG HER UPPPP

username51 he better before we do

username52 frr omg

username53 the next it wag

username54 when i sleep i see her in my dreams

username55 y/n has 4 albums and 4 singles, lando's number is 4. hes winning the miami gp

username56 y/n dont forget us when you become the no.1 artist

username57 shes my kind of woman

username58 id let her hit me with lando's car

username59 i'd let lando hit me with y/n's car

username60 queen

(click on pics to view the full tweet !)

lando

liked by oscar_piastri, yourusername, mclaren and 8.2M others

lando my good luck charm

comments on this post have been closed

yourusername has posted two stories !

caption 1: HE DID IT!!!!! // caption 2: celebrating the golden boy

yourusername

liked by lando, oscar_piastri, lilyzneimer and 5.4M others

yourusername he called me his good luck charm and i wrote a song about him Tagged: lando

click to view all comments

username71 WHAT?!?!??!?!?!

username72 IT COUPLE

username73 ew

username74 like why him???

username75 ATEEEEE

username76 WTF IM IN LOVEEEE

username77 PARACOSICL REKARIJSHP

username78 MOMMY AND DADDY

username79 wtf

username80 i-

username81 MY SHAYLA

username82 my jaw dropped to the floor

username83 the twitter detectives KNEW

username84 frrrrrr

username85 if they ever decide to buy a pet im like right here

madisonbeer congrats to you two!

yourusername thank you!!

username86 who tf is this i came from landos insta

username87 idk but shes ugly

username88 i dont like her

username89 i dont know if i want y/n or lando to be with me

username90 screaming crying throwing up

username91 giggling blushing and kicking my feet

username92 i need a fanfic on this ASAP

username93 sTOP THEYRE SO CUTEEe

username94 y/n holding his trophy im on the FLOOR

username95 my parents

username96 no bc i feel like im intruding

username97 SHES GORGEOUS

username98 shes everything and hes just ken

username99 this fits PERFECTLY bc she acted in the barbie movie

username100 lando could do so much better ew

username101 my QUEEN

username102 ok so like when is the wedding

username103 i just know that carlos is squealing and giggling bc hes y/ns biggest fan fr

username104 madre e padre

username105 PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

username106 so like wheres lando's comment???

username107 hes saving a finale grand stopping act

username108 ROMEO AND JULIET

username109 i would be sobbing in TEARS if i heard y/n's voice in the radio

username110 NOW I NEED THAT TO HAPPEN STFU

lando i love you so much my beautiful girl

yourusername i love you more my stunning boy

lando thats impossible because i love you more than life

carlossainz55 he nearly cried when he saw you enter the mclaren hospitality

lando SHUT UP YOU MUPPET

yourusername you did??

lando you looked so gorgeous i couldn't help it

lando fuck you carlos

yourusername LANDO STOP ILYSMMM

lando I LOVE YOU MORE MY BELOVED GORGEOUS QUEEN

rebeccad_ why cant carlos be like this?

carlossainz55 ??

yourusername dont worry rebecca, ill save you

rebeccad_ my princess in shining armour

lando shes MY princess

yourusername love you lan

lando love you more

username111 straight out of a fucking romance novel

username112 if my bf isnt like him i do NOT want his ass

username113 if i was y/n you'd need an army to get me off lando

username114 if i was lando you'd need an army to get me off Y/N

username115 legit the most gorgeous couple

username116 BEST WAGGGGG

username117 oh i am itching for y/n grand prix apperances

username118 im calling it everytime she attens lando wins

username119 LANDO ONEWIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username120 the queen and her knight

lando

liked by oscar_piastri, yourusername, mclaren and 9M others

lando i might take you home with this, i might give you all of it, come get your dose of the sweetest pie. oh, this the ride of your life, hold on 'cause, baby, i might, i might just give you a bite of the sweetest pie Tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

username130 sTOP

username131 im deceased

username132 HE USED HER LYRICS ABOUT HIM TO TALK ABoUT heR oH LANDO NORRIS THE MAN YOU ARE!??!??!?!!?

username133 how did he bag her wtf

username134 Y/N MY QUEEN

username135 the most gorgeous gyal

username136 if i was lando id die idk how id handle being blinded by her beauty everyday

username137 PLSSSS he really said 'fuck you' to the haters and posted them making out

username138 like did i get a subscription or....?

username139 ICONIC.

username140 its been 7 weeks & 3 days since i manifested them getting together

username141 if they break up i dont believe in love

username142 FACE CARD IS LETHAL

username143 ik their kids' genetics will be INSANE

username144 SOBBING i love them sm

username145 if glazing them every single second was a crime id be 89 feet under

username146 GOD HAS FAVOURITES !!!

username147 if she doesnt make a grand prix apperance im throwing hands

username148 counting down the days tilll we get them together in the paddock

username149 MY PRINCESS

username150 if i had to be an f1 driver to get with y/n i would started karting when i was 2

username151 the aura from them is insane

username152 welcome to my world

username153 get you a man who deletes hate comments for you

username154 where can i buy a lando

username155 or a y/n

username156 MODERN. DAY. ROMEO. AND. JULIET.

username157 they need to get married ASAP

yourusername i love you so so so so much

lando forever and always

yourusername until the end

lando my favourite singer

yourusername my favourite driver

lando who wrote my favourite ever song

yourusername who won my favourite ever race

lando who wrote it for me

yourusername who dedicated it to me

lando i love you more than anything in this entire universe my princess

yourusername i love you more than you'd ever know, pretty boy

lando forever

yourusername and always

username158 FUCKING FUCK OFF

username159 ok thats it im jumpiing off a cliff

username160 ive never seen something more romantic and its in a fucking instagram comment section

username161 im actually crying

username162 i love them so much i hope nothing ever happens to them

username163 my heart is paining i cant take this anymore

username164 you know the love is real when you dedicate your biggest achievements to each other

yourusername do you love sweetest pie?

lando i think i love it more than my win

yourusername maybe thats a bit excessive?

lando nothing is ever excessive with you

yourusername i love you

lando i love you too

username165 no i refuse bye i cant

username166 HES A SIMP BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT

username167 the a in lando starts for a lovesick fool for y/n

username168 THE WAY HE STARES AT HER>>>>>

username169 get you a man like lando

username170 hes setting the bar so high its on another altitude

taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl ,, @awritingtree ,, @freyathehuntress ,, @chilling-seavey (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

[castiellesbian]

to comment on what i said here

im one of those ppl who thinks that 1) dean's in-real-time reaction to cas's confession was very in-character and 2) both 15x19 and 15x20 were extremely out of character for like everybody involved.

jensen's acting choices notwithstanding, dean had previously been established as not necessarily emotionally stunted (because if anything HE is the one who always actually wants cas and other characters to come forward with their feelings) BUT at the same time he is very bad at dealing with other people's feelings IN REGARDS TO HIM. especially when those feelings are POSITIVE or absolving him of something he had done (<- hilarious considering how much plot armor he has in general, but that's another conversation). this is the same man who literally altered his own memory of how the purgatory escape went down just because he couldn't believe that cas would do that. like he'd rather believe it was his fault somehow.

in my perfect world where 15x19 and 15x20 were actually good and addressed the established issues and storylines instead of just creating new bullshit out of nowhere and just tossing any and all characterization and development out of the window, dean has a longer breakdown over cas's passing because in no way in hell does that actually work on him as something that makes him feel better about himself. like when dean refused to kill chuck because supposedly cas's words worked on him? i laughed! like sure. that's a good gesture, i guess. but dean was like in real time processing what cas was saying, the fact that cas was saying it, and the fact that it was cas's final words. (<- them not going to save cas is SOOOOO out of character but we've all already said it. but what is there left to do but to say it again. same abt letting dean just die in 15x20 but again. what else is there to fucking do.)

i think this is a very possible thought process for dean during/after the confession:

angry at himself for letting this happen ("i just led us into another trap [...] because i just needed something to kill, and because that's all i know how to do" <- most of castiel's confession is basically a response to this line. so if dean had not said that, cas's confession would have probably gone from a different angle imho)

resigned to their fate while still angry at himself ("everybody's gonna die, cas. everybody. i can't stop it." <- notice how he says i and not we and not sam and i and not all of us. it's literally just him. he absolves everybody else from this.)

shock at cas's news about the deal, but there is no time to really react to what cas is saying because he's saying MORE THINGS now.

processing the happiness aspect of it. processing the "one thing i want / i know i can't have" part.

"what are you talking about, man?" <- i dont think dean is actually confused about WHAT cas is saying, i think he just feels them running out of time.

NOW he has to like. process all the things cas is saying about him. and how it CHANGED cas. again, at the SAME time as he's processing that THIS IS IT. like, the final countdown.

wanna make a note abt jensen's acting here: there are a couple moments where he does that thing where his jaw clicks when he swallows because you KNOWWWWW dean wants to argue abt the things cas is saying but he isn't saying anything because of like the gravity of the situation and his respect for what cas is doing. even though he'd literally lock himself in the ma'lak box before actually internalizing any of the things he's saying. AND he's forced to keep eye contact the entire time.

"why does this sound like a goodbye?" <- it almost sounds like he's trying to make a joke because he KNOWS it's a goodbye but he wants cas to say it. no, wrong, he wants cas to say that it ISN'T but he knows that it is and he is giving him an out because hope dies last.

and he's ready to say something else before -

...

well.

cas confesses his feelings. i think it kind of clicked for dean during the monologue but actually hearing it out loud was like. the wax seal.

"don't do this, cas" <- don't do this for me, cas. i'm not worth it. we can find something else, we always do. we could die together. i can't lose you.

...CAS

.............................

and then of course dean sits on the cold ground for hours, ignores sam's call, and cries.

all that is to say. i don't think dean listened to cas say all this because he believes all of that to be true about himself, but more out of respect for cas and just letting him speak uninterrupted. he DOES believe that cas thinks this. but i don't think it's reached dean, or ever would, at least not in this show's continuity with the next two episodes.

dean is always processing the events through the reasoning of "what did i do", "what can i do", "what was my part in this". even other people's failures he considers his own, like even when he blames cas or sam for something there's an underlying note of "if only i had been better at looking after you" sentiment.

so after listening to cas spell out all the ways HE changed cas, how HE caused cas to fall (a separate shoutout to chuck in 15x17 for mentioning cas's rebelling in connection to saving dean), how HE let cas fall for him all just because of what he is... and how the happiest moment of his life, the thing that is about to trigger the deal for his DEATH, is all because of him... and even then, the fact that cas doesn't even believe he can have what he wants... like, cas believes all those good things about dean, and yet he's still not good enough for that? ("you can't even dream a whole dream, can you?" <- the holdovers 2023) either way, dean leads cas to his slaughter.

BONUS THOUGHT/STACKEDNATURAL: "i'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world. so if there's even a small chance that we can save you, i won't let you walk out of this room." / "oh, you think you have a choice"

TLDR: i think dean wouldnt internalize what cas said abt him in his confession for a long long time, but instead would actually blame himself for cas's death bc if dean hadn't changed cas then cas would still be alive bc dean thinks he ruins every single thing he touches and never actually let himself truly believe otherwise <3

YES like dean ALSO thinks the very touch of him corrupts.

I really like your point about how dean wants to argue but stops himself because he understands the gravity of the situation. he understands, even with everything else, that cas needs to say whatever he's saying. after all, cas isn't the kind of person who wastes time with no purpose. hell, he didn't even let dean say what he wanted to say in purgatory (15x09) because they were running out of time to get through the portal (funny how it always comes back around to portals with these two).

I do like dean's "that's not who I am" moment with chuck but I agree that it doesn't really work for that episode, or that timing. they didn't get cas back, he's barely been able to process cas's death (plus it's annoying given he's back to torturing in the NEXT episode, but I digress). even if they had done something with dean and jack maybe I could buy that character progression from dean, but they didn't and one episode is not long enoughhh and tbh kind of skips a few steps before dean would be able to absorb that part of cas's confession. even if we put aside the fact that they should have gone to rescue cas, dean's grief process should be like:

processing cas is dead

processing cas is in love with him

processing cas "not being able to have" happiness and what cas even means by happiness

processing cas has never been happy and the implications of THAT

processing like everything else in cas's confession lol

[pumpkinsy0]

I’m not sure if America does this much, but from where I am, a grade is able to travel to a different country for around a week or two for educational purposes (e.g Italy, France, Etc.) So,,, any Papercut Hcs for that? (Taken that they were able to make up the money for that, maybe Pony took up extra jobs to earn the money.)

ik what ur talking about!!! i dont think its common for a WHOLE GRADE to do it, but ik wym!!!!

OK SO

•lets say they’re traveling to france (ewwww🙄🙄 but trust me, makes sense later), their language class was french and they were like “man y dont we all travel to france to test out skills n have fun”

•gonna b frank w u, pony, curly, and their families were hesitant on it, MOSTLY bc of money restraints but when it comes to pony, its bc he just never traveled out the country before, let alone all by himself

• curly rlly has no aspirations to travel anywhere but then he realized that if pony left, he would b bored out his mind cayse who else can he annoy as well as he does w pony??? so he was on board!!

•look, getting that money was a hard time for all, tim and curly did more jobs, darry and soda worked their asses off and so did pony, but at the end of the day, they did it (also some of it was covered for everyone bc of some soc’s rich ass dad)🙏🏽🙏🏽

•when the packed, they damn near packed everything they had bc they just dont have much, it was like they were going away forever😭

•look, curly (and angela, shes here too!!! :3) r haitian immigrants, they knowwwww french bc they HAD to learn it in haiti to get through the education system, hell theyre probably one of the few ppl who even know it fluently out this whole grade, everyone else was lowkey bullshittin

•curlys basically ponys translator for everything, and curly WILL use it to his advantage, ponys always smarter than him but HERE??? HEEEE has the upper hand, plus, this means pony being clingy

•but his french was a lil rusty bc he wouldnt rlly speak it a lot, even in class he wouldnt rlly speak

•pony had this “introduction to french” book darry gave him bc darry can actually speak french bc of the class!!!

•curly and angela CANNOOTTT see the eiffel tower as being romantic btw, that shit was built w haitian money they hate france man (YES, im airing out some of my grievances i hate france dude🙄🙄), if pony mentioned the tower near curly he’d roll his eyes, ALSO BC HE FOUND IT TO B CORNY

•curly and pony keep getting lost dude, its like hell on earth, YES, france is walkable, but that probably just makes it worse for them bc theyre walking far in the wrong way😭

•u can def tell theyre american tourist, but i dont think curly would care, ponys trying to keep a low profile tho

•i dont think they rlly, like french food that much, not even that it taste bad or anything just not their cup of tea, honestly

•if i remember right, france has a problem w pick pocketers and i PROMISE u that wouldnt slide w either of em, they WILL fight u over it😭

•angela was excited to try the macarons!!! honestly like top thing she liked there probably, maybe she also flirted w some guys in french, got some perfume, she treated it like a vacation more than like something educational, she knew french already this was USELESS to her

•pony loved the museums, and wouldve liked it MORE if curly didnt RUSH him all the time bc he was bored, curlys the kind of guy to only go to museums for the gift shop and tbh??? so real

•they were able ti get a room together at a hotel thankfully, and half the time in it was NOT spent sleeping, it was spent w curly making stupid jokes and pony laughing so they were tired in the morning

•let them have some souvenirs, they deserve it!!!pony tried to get something each for the gang, curly got something STUPID for tim, angela got a cute gift for herself

•pony promised to take pics while he was there and he did, but some of the pics had curly being a dumbass in it🙄🙄

anyways i went through this whole post without making a kanye west joke, im truly growing to b more mature

[osarina]

omg i also love thinking about the ADA (esp dazai cause he’s my fav character) just being platonic w reader :) i have a whole backstory made up in my head. she was 16 and joined the ADA just a couple months before dazai so she was the baby of the group for a while before the twins and kenji and everyone else joined.

i like thinking of her ability to be some sort of prophetic one; basically what i imagined is that her ability is connected to a tapestry that she embroiders, and so when she starts doing that there’s sort of like a protective barrier around her body so she cant be hurt. she embroiders what’s happening in the mission and its possible future events ifykwim as it goes on. so then threads from the tapestry will kinda go out of her barrier, go to find whichever members of the ADA are in the mission, and guide them towards what’s the best decision. like they have to follow the thread and if they don’t follow it it’ll kinda tug on them. its only visible if they’re allowed to see it so their enemies cant tell where they’re going next. and then when the mission is over she’ll kinda snap out of it in a complete daze with her tapestry and thread in front of her being like Wait what cause i imagine the ability puts her in sort of a sleep state and she doesn’t actually know what’s going on, the thread does. can u tell im still obsessed w helaena,,

so yeah i imagine her being pretty close w dazai and kunikida bc they were closest in age to her at the ada for a pretty long time. her and dazai are Extremely annoying when left alone together so kunikida is kind of the mom friend of the group. also i think it would be funny if she got pregnant and went on maternity leave during the entire duration of atsushi joining-the end of season 5 so she comes back and is like Heyyyy guys how’s it been😍😍😍

- 🐳 anon <3 soz this is so long i luv rambling

DONT APOLOGIZE U GUYS KNOWWWWW I LOVE LONG ASKS JAFASUHFDU IM JUST ABYSMALLY SLOW AT GETTING TO THEM SO FORGIVE ME </33

no because i LOVEEEEE the idea of the ada being platonic with reader </333 honestly some of my favorite parts of writing badlands was writing the scenes where reader got to interact with the ada and they just treated her like one of them </3 and the scene with her and yosano in the cafe weeps i miss badlands so much

ALSO ??? THAT ABILITY IS SO SICK WHAT ??? that is honestly one of the most creative abilities i've ever seen, i'm so obsessed with it, and the fact that the threads from the tapestry will like guide them to the best course of action that is so unique im so obsessed with this.

[angelflungoutofspace]

abbott elementary season 3 ep 1 & 2 REVEIWWWWW

idk why but I thought y'all might wanna hear what I thought about the season premierrrrrr!!!! it was so good and so chaotic. so many things going on at once.

when Janine walked out and revealed as district, I HAD A HEART ATTACK. but then the context helped. im just a little confused because didn't the Manny the district guy say Janine could go back into her class 1-2 days out of the week to teach?? or was it just to go around about hearing feedback?? it was so sad to see Janine's kids not caring about her presence and the super mean substitute. But, that one little boy, Alex, made my heart just warm!!!! It just reminded Janine why she's doing what she's doing!!!

omg and Janine and Gregory?? the way Janine HAD THE CONFIDENCE to go talk to Gregory about her feelings at the beginning of the school year??? like where did that bravery come out of, and she handled the rejection so well. like honey. I would have DIED. but also.... the way Gregory just... moved on???? well, I get why. bro has to protect himself, but like come on greggy boy, don't tell me YOU DONT just feel a little of love for Janine???? but I love the way writers handled it at the end. they didn't leave the awkwardness for the season and that is something I APPRECIATE. and at least we know that Gregory and Janine still want to be friends and still miss each other platonically.

am I being paranoid for being scared of Manny the district guy???? Like my boy Jacob had a point. Manny WAS giving me some crush vibes and it doesn't help how nice and genuine he is. LIKE IM LITERALLY FALLING FOR HIM. and his mom was a teacher??? I would love to see him more, but just not as another pawn in Janine and Gregory's relationship. but, I knowwwww better. and my girl QUINTAAAA will make us wait.

I think Janine is getting really confortable and friendly with the district crew and it's kind of scary me because if she gets TOO comfortable, she won't want to leave. I think when the fellowship ends, they'll offer her a permanent spot on the team and she'll want to take it but still teach at abbott.

Barbara was so cute this episode, with her makeup. and with how honest she was to the district. as some who works at a high school and has been dealing with a particularly horrible district and administration, Barbaras words hit too close to home. but she realized that the whole district team is essentially just 4 Janines with the power and position to make things happen. and I think she's really opening up to relying on the district more.

omg my girl Melissa. honey., I was so scared every time Gary made a marriage joke. and when he proposed I HAD A HEART ATTACK AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND I THOUGHT MELISSA WAS GONNA SAY YES and the rest of the season would be wedding planning. but as embarrassing and heartbreaking as it was for Melissa, she stayed true to herself and was mature to end the relationship. and my girl just crying made me cryyyyy omg. she looks so sad even though she was the one to break up with Gary, AND I KNOWWWWWW SHE'LL STILL BE HEALING. I don't think this is the last well see of Gary since he goes to the school every Thursday, but I think it'll be the end of their relationship permanently. but now that Melissa knows fs was wants to date and knows she doesn't wanna get married, I think she's gonna be in her exploration phase. HOEEEEE PHASSEEEE. god please send Melissa a gay awakening PLEASEEEEE. she needs a rebound and no better rebound than a woman. that would be so fun and so true to her.

but yeah thats all I think so far. and it was a great epsidose and a great start to an already unpredictable season!!!

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 16 TRIVIA. SO MUCH GOOD WILLIAM LORE:

- charlie had to improv basically everything about his parents on the spot this episode bc he wasnt expecting to meet them so soon!! he and bizly had a vague idea of who they were/what they looked like but a lot of it was on the spot details

- charlie also changed up how hes playing william a little bit in this episode; he described it as "you know how when you have a job you dont like, its kind of a drag to get up in the morning and go to that job. i think hes slowly becoming more accpeting of the superhero thing and willing to participate" and talked abojt how he wanted william to have a little bit more energy in general and to not be so . monotone and existential all the time. in his words, "without spoiling anything... i think william is slowly getting back to his old self." << i think this is so interesting and i spent sooooo long dissecting this under a microscope when i first heard it

- i think i mentioned this in one of the earlier trivias but theyre talking again about how william was created in an all nighter session where bizly and charlie were in a call for like 13 hours and played out like a session 0 of his whole backstory . theyre so excited about this i think its fun . "i wanted everything about him to be so cliche and thematically perfect. his name is *william wisp* . he has ghost powers. he solves mysteries and sees monsters. he grew up in a town called deadwood. i wanted it to all sound so ridiculous and cartoony and perfect"

- charlie: im so excited to go to deadwood at some point because in my head i see it playing out like it: chapter 2

bizly: i have never seen that, i will never see that, i dont like clowns >:[

- WILLIAM HAS A GHOST DOG BUT HE HAS NEVER COME UP IN THE STORY BECAUSE BIZLY KEEPS FORGETTING HE EXISTS. i will never forgive him for this. points at cujo from danny phantom. i need william to have this

- condi: i just thought it would be really funny to reveal my last form by trying to do something stupid like kill a rat

so the dragoon is the last class !!! youve seen them all now !!! :D

- bizly, to charlie: being your friend is a surreal experience.

- grizzly: "i dont think dakota could handle another friend betraying him.... so ashe, dont be a doug. i mean you can, but if you do ill.kill you"

I LOVE WILLIAM'S PARENTS!!! i liked that scene very much <3 at least one of these kids has a slightly less dysfunctional family outside of the prime defenders!!!

I LOVE WILLIAM god what i wouldn't give to have sat in on that 13 hour session 0 of william's backstory. i want to have seen that. i want to KNOWWWWW!!!! WILLIAM WISP I LOVE U

HE HAS A GHOST DOG???? AND WE HAVE NOT SEEN IT????? BIZLY. BIZLY GIMME THE GHOST DOG. WHERE IS IT. LEMME SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

i loved vyncent revealing his last form to catch a fucking rat <3 i love vyncent sm <3

[bitternanami]

made a bunch of phone calls today. ive been in the process of trying to track down a PT place that takes my insurance. i do work at one but i dont rly want to be there as a patient bc that would give like. all of my coworkers access to my deadname etc which i just knowwwww theyre gonna be annoying about

SO. a different place. theres one in the same shopping center, even, but id set up with them a few weeks back and they waited until the day before i was scheduled to tell me they were going to charge me my Entire yearly deductible ($400) for the first appointment. and i was like, what in the world are you coding it as to bill it that high. this is something i need to be doing at least once a week like i Cannot field that. and they didnt really have an answer for me, so. that ones out.

i was personally disappointed, ofc, but also bc of the fact that i literally have the same job as the person who called me, i was also kind of professionally affronted at how little she seemed to give a shit about what she was saying. i could Not get her to go off script to explain to me what happened, like for fucks sake youre dealing with peoples health. its so much worse when you Know how to do this properly, and you have to be on the other end of someone doing it badly. it has me all the more determined to be better to my patients. insurance is a racket which everyone knows but its also intentionally opaque about where these figures even come from. i need to understand it better because i need to be able to answer someone when they need to know. i need to be able to find the workarounds.

anyway.

i called two others today, neither of whom are covered, but the self-pay rates are like. not Good, but certainly more doable than that. so that may be how it goes. im gonna ask after the practice that cass' hand OT is at, see if they would take my ins, bc theyve seemed pretty okay when weve worked with them before.

in the meantime like. the back stuff is Annoying, and it means i need to do things differently than i used to, im taking a heating pad to work now, etc etc whatever. i can deal w that. i just need, for a place to not charge me exorbitant sums in order to try to work through it.

[saltlickmp3]

okay now ive gone through two years of the x files tag on the blog of someone im not mutuals with (if you see this sorry) my take on what do mulder & scully have going on is that.

scully is dealing with comphet in a way that like. she thinks she doenst need a man & she is very career driven so she thinks to herself 'im too focused on my work to have time for a man' while not realising that she would make time for a woman if she knew that was an option she could take and b) she spends most of her time with mulder anyways. these are kind of related in that mulder would wear a dress around the house if only scully was looking. like the main reason i dont see strong butch lesbian hcs for mulder is bc im like they work for the government. in the 90s. it's working against him realising that he would in fact like to be more feminine.

related to scully's comphet is that she was a tomboy when she was younger & now that she works in a predominantly male field she is very feminine & i get teh feeling that she woulndt do that if she hated it. like if she hated wearing that stuff she wouldnt be wearing heels eevery day thats hardly practical but i think theyre a part of her who wishes that she didnt have to.

so. this is releveny bc i knowwwww they that end up like having kids or whatever & i think thats cringe & dumb becaus ethey would noyttttttttttt just date each other & get married normally after All That. they dont know what a qpr is cos its the 90s but they are essentially living in one already. they have keys to eachothers apartments & they say stuff that you generally dont just say to your best friend idk but they woulndt like. like they would be wayyy to awkward to go on a dinner date yknwo what i mean. if they were to get married they would go get a license and sign it without much ceremony & still feel awkward about kissing on front of anyone else. yknow. like im not saying that dont get down to it but what i am saying is that they dont kiss and go okay i guess were are having a conventional hetero romance now! combined with the codependency which i think. i think they both like to think theyre independent but mulder Knows that he is hopelessly attatched to scully & scully doenst really think about it but when mulders not there she's 100% able to slip into his psyche & see what he would do in any given situation & eventually realises that most people only know people that well when theyre like. commited to eachother yknow.

[closetdbisexual]

tagged by @batemanofficial YAYY so awesome

last song: am i awake? by they might be giants (yayyy. ive been listening to them a Bunch lately their sound is so awesome..)

favorite color: blue and red likd 3D glassess . and green .and yellow. okay i like all colors but blue and green and yellow the most theyre my friends

currently watching: i dont knowwwww i havent watched a lot recently ...i guess we'll go with my tv shows ummm currently (meaning Not right this second but like . generally in the process of.) the x files :3 i love those stupid fbi agents sorry i love cop shows i know it sucks but cop and detective shows they really get to me..

last movie: rewatched shaun of the dead my best friend does anyone else like shaun of the dead . kind of an underground movie idk has anyone even heard of it. just kidding. i should rewatch hot fuzz next <- man who just said he loves cop shows

sweet, spicy, or savory?: savoryyy i dont like spicy things👎

relationship status: in a relationship i would tell you to go follow simon but he sucks and doesnt have tumblr . sighs. i miss you girl (boy)

current obsession: jaime i have never even seen lost i haveto say it here ive never watched it. sorry i know its iconic but i still havent. ummm i guess the x files again sighs those fbi agents are Getting to me...if we want to go video games im getting obsessed with animal crossing again ohhh you (general audience) should friend me on switch we can explore ..or whagever..

last thing i googled: had to google the word "logistical" because i did not remember what it meant👎👎

tagging: okay yayyy um @faesfaggotboyfriend @you2018 @buiiterrier (he wont do it i just wanted to tag him .) @oliredandgrey @roadkillrabiez and anyone else if they want idk..sorry i never know who to tag for these

[erizee]

ok so since tma is over i can finally say everything abt all seasons so here are my opinions abt the tma seasons ig

basically i love angst

its also 3am so do with that what you want

best statememts: season 1

s1 has the scariest statements, especially since the first time u listen to it u dont have any info on wtf is going on yet. once the Lore comes in everything starts to make sense and i love that but it Does make it less scary for me

and i mean. the anatomy class?? jane prentiss' statememt?? lost johns' cave??? those are some A+ statements

could also be in part bc in later seasons i paid attention to the meta story wayyy more (since theres just more of it) and the statements just kind of became a background thing for me later on

some statements in s5 are also REALLY good though, especially the spiral doctor david, the plague village, the meat garden and the one with gertrude and gerry

best meta story: season 3

this is sooo hard

i love all of their meta stories too much to decide completely

but i had to choose 😔

i just love how in s3 you start to piece things together and jon is getting superpowers and hhhh its just so fucking good

theres just. some real connections between the statements and jon meets avatars and elias' bullshit gets a Little bit revealed and then u get gerry's info and you THINK you have it all together but you really DONT

theres more i could say but it all ties into the other categories so ill put it there instead

best character interaction: season 3/5

this is a full tie i canNot choose that

both of them have rly nice interactions with The Team but ALSO v nice interactions with avatars, which the rest of the seasons dont have that much

for the Team, they never Really do full teamwork ever but i think in s3 they got the closest to it, especially after the elias confrontation with everyone. especially the parts with tim and jon but also everything about melanie's & daisy's interactions with jon is just. chefs kiss.

and in s5 obviously jon & martin interact with everyone on The Team thats still alive (which it Should since its the last season tbh) and its just so nice that after s4 they were all talking and being rational abt things. love that.

and with the avatars, s3 is i think the first to introduce them as more than Those Weird Evil/Monster people since jon is becoming literally one of them. and theres sooo many cool interactions, i mean jude, mike crew, nikola, michael, daisy again, etc etc its just so fucking cool

and again same goes for s5, they interact with avatars and talk to them like theyre extremely fucked up people but still people and its soo cool. in the earlier parts of the season its also cool to see jon literally distance himself from the avatars again by killing them (only to fail by becoming to pupil oof).

i think with that i might rank s3 a bit higher than s5 actually, just because i loooove the angst of jon talking to these people he thought were monsters before thinking hes becoming like them. im SO here for the angst lmao

best jonmartin: season four

yess s5 had the most Actual canon jonmartin and it has them working through problems together and being in love but like. im always a slut for mutual pining and angst

i literally stop reading fanfics once the characters get together sometimes lmao

i also love the jonmartin in s5 but u know. Pining.

there was also some in s3 & before but yea jon had other things to do so it was less Big

best angst: season fourrrrrr

i knowwwww martin Literally kills jon in s5 and yes it did make me cry. BUT.

one of my ABSOLUTE favourite tropes in any media whatsoever is betrayal. any kind of it (except cheating that just sucks). i love it when characters go evil. i love it when they do sth fucked up they shouldnt have. and i ESPECIALLY love the way other characters react to it

i mean theres a reason why hannibal is one of my favourite shows (& why 6x20 is my favourite spn episode but shh)

and s4 has soooo much of that.

i dont rly get the story of s4 tbh its mostly just dealing w the end of s3 for me and thats not doing much for me tbh idk

and i feel so bad for jon because he was literally manipulated into everything but FUCK all those scenes where he has to confront What hes become, and especially the episode with the statement from the woman he met irl and took a statement from.

it hurts but its SO good

im very very glad all that was resolved and apologized for and everything, that actually kind of makes the actual season even better for me since i know its temporary but its still ANGST

best lore: season 3/5

another tie 😔 cant decide between worldbuilding lore and monster lore

s3 definitely has the most worldbuilding lore with all the avatars and rituals and all that. i mean gerry literally gives so much lore in his episode i cant ignore that

its just so nice after so many episodes to FINALLY get some actual information

but also s5 has lore on the actual fears behind the stuff that got explained in s3 so thats ALSO a thing.

i just. cannot decide lmao

FINAL RANKING

season 3. best meta story, best lore & best character interaction. just. yea this one is my favourite

season 4. best angst & best jonmartin. i can barely remember the meta story for that season, i dont think there was rly one outside of dealing w the end of s3? but the angst & jonmartin easily make up for that

season 5. best lore & characters + one of best statement seasons. i didnt add that category but also immaculate vibes. its lowkey tied with s4 too but Monster!Jon is just too good not to rank it in 2nd place

season 1. best statements and also immaculate vibes. this is 100% the scariest season and i rly like that abt it. it doesnt have much of a story yet which makes sense (no lighter for automatic tapes yet 😔) and theres less characters which means i cant put it much higher but when it Does happen its Great

season 2. its definitely good and the supplementals are hilarious but its not on the same level for me as the other seasons. maybe thats just me but i also feel like s2 should have introed jon becoming an avatar more since i already got spoiled but jon asking leitner if hes "one of them" still lowkey came out of the blue for me. plus his character changed so much to the beginning of s3 i was legit shocked to find out in ep 81 that jon was younger than 50 lmao. it IS still a v good season though!!!

[abiik]

my thoughts on zoe are as follows: New Boot Goofin Girlfriend what is her origin story what is her favorite candy what does her superhero getup look like if she has one and also does she know shes an aaaaaaaangelllllllllll and also WHAT do the posts mean about shedding skin like the snake posts heather i need to KNOWWWWW

NEW BOOT GOOFIN GIRLFRIEND INDEED. SHE’S SINGLE LADIES [zoe winks aggressively]

and no, she doesnt. maybe you should tell her one more time. call her an angel to her face and she just might fall in love with you/melt to the floor in a pile of gooey sweetness

hmm her favorite candy….she’s a big sweets person but stuff like gummies give her head aches. chocolate is a big contender. does candied fruit count? SUCKERS, DEFINITELY SUCKERS JENRJKE

now that we got the juicy stuff out of the way….

what is her origin story?

aight so like,,,since im still kind of idk about which faceclaim i like the most, im just gonna stick with her more concrete origin story which iiissss….basically, zoe’s both literal blackfoot demi-god (her great-grandfather is napi who knows diana which is why diana is her godmother) and a descendant of the chinese legend the white snake. her dad is the great(insert centuries of time here)-grandson of the white snake (which makes ms. wonder woman of china zoe’s great aunt) as well as the descendant of the fabled first emperor of china, huangdi. zoe’s dad is also part alien dragon thing. im not gonna get into all of THAT bc im still developing it and it’s tedious i gotta make sure everything’s right, but bc zoe doesn’t like spend a lot of her time there sober, it’s not really that relevant atm so i can be a little lazy,,,as a treat. 

anyway that should also kind of answer the question about snake shedding……..*eyes emoji* *eyes emoji*

also idk if that’s like what you meant by origin story, but like it’s kind of where she starts. she starts being a vigilante bc aunt diana is kind of very influential. also because once the twins die and she’s overwhelmed by that survivor’s guilt, she never wants that to happen to anyone again. she particularly starts out by patrolling with sex workers in gotham, keeping them safe, walking them home; then she progresses to literally fighting abusers/p*dophiles/r*pists/etc. i dont talk about that part of her origin bc i dont wanna like,,, accidentally trigger anyone or anything. the first person she uh kills is actually one of those soo uh anyway.

once diana realizes what’s up, she starts to properly train zoe, but doesn’t necessarily take her on as like,,, a sidekick or anything. which is a kick in the teeth but zoe grins and bears it because she’s not gonna let THAT stop her. she doesn’t need diana to hold her hand through this (chill, zo, you’re like twelve, pls go dance in the woods and creep boys out by being a feral little girl like the rest of us).

superhero get up?

oof and her superhero get up…hmm… still kind of working on it. but i’ve taken some inspiration from (as much as i am not looking forward to the movie, i thought about this design before the trailer came out BUT) the black widow movie suits that like - like the white one that yelena wears bc im pretty sure the fabric can like mimic your surroundings (dunno the technical name) and i thought that would be pretty fucking cool. also like,,, a lot of kon’s costumes. i don’t exactly have a color scheme for her, like esp when she was a teen titan, but i could def see her more grown up suit (during the new boot goofin arc) being white or black. 

there is one thing, though, that i’ve always really liked the thought of and that was of her having like,,, a cool tech-y retractable cowl. like the captain marvel cowl where her hair is kind of out but her upper face and most of her head is disguised. OH and like bc zoe’s bi, she of course has to have a mo’ where she wears her big oversized denim jacket over her suit. (also i am open to design options so pls do not be shy, i need help making decisions.)

[ixiablogs]

A special night (f2f)

Ixia arrives in a space on the surface, looking around with a smile. He was here with Spade and Brio some time ago... its still pretty as ever.

- Speaking of Spade, the sometimes a skeleton, most of the time a cat monster rears his fluffy face when he sees Ixia. He gives him a grin. 

"hey, bout time you showed up!"

- Ixia smiled sheepishly, putting away the device that let him come here to begin with. 

 "oh, leave me alone im still getting used to working this thing... so, uh, where'd you wanna go again?"

- Spade grins and gestures for Ixia to follow him as he turns and starts walking through this quaint, almost fantasy style town. He leads them to a bar, a little bit busy at this time of night, but not too crowded. 

 "i came back to this line when we hung out and found this place and man, their drinks are super good. they also got food if you dont wanna get trashed."

- Ixia blinks in surprise, humming for a bit as he thinks it over. Last time he got drunk with someone... oh but, no, he has a way to get home and a place thats safe to get back to. It'll be fine. 

"i! think i could use a few drinks, honestly, neheh..."

- Spade's expressions softens a little bit and he nods. 

 "yeah, i totally get that. c'mon." 

 He leads them inside and takes a look around before heading to one of the booths closer to the bar, taking a seat on one end and watching Ixia sit opposite of him. There's two little drink menus on the table they can look through at their leisure. 

 "so... how you been doin? im sorry i kinda.. suck at talkin to ya.”

- "oh, no its okay. im not much better either, hehh...." 

 He picks up one of the menus, flipping through it. 

 "uhm, well... i've been doing okay! i think.. i think ever since i left my home, i've been doing better. it is... weird adjusting though, eheh. the longer im away from home, the more i realize that.... i forgot how to be a person. i forgot how to talk to people.... after all, when you re-live the same week or so over and over and over it... it messes up your head...." 

 Wow, he hasnt even had any drinks yet. Feeling extra vulnerable today he guesses...

- Blink blink. Yeah that! Kinda came outta left field, but Spade's not gonna judge. He just listens and nods along, letting out a little sigh. 

 "i know it aint so easy but you really should just loosen up... i mean, aint no one gonna bite you if you just. talk to them, or just talk online and see who might wanna talk back. you'll be okay though yeah? i think you'll be okay."

-- Ixia blinks at the other, giving him a sheepish grin. 

 "eheh, yeah, i guess you're right...."

-- They exchange meaningless small talk for the next.. however long. They browse and order drinks, Spade talking about which are his favorite, Ixia admiring all the different colors and there were some that glowed?? Wowie.

-- "you knowwwww..." 

Ixia's speech is finally starting to loosen as he finishes his current drink, twirling the glass around. "i rreally like this place.... and not like, just the bar! nyeheh.... this like, town, its so... cute an pretty an nice.... wasp showed me one line, an... an sure it was nice but... mmn.. i might ask pippap about building me a house here...."

-- Spade's ears twitch up curiously. 

 "ooh yeah? sounds pretty nice t'me, and hey, you do whatever's gonna make ya happiest right?" He smiles, warm and friendly.

-- Oh,, he doesnt know why, but It feels like his soul's fluttering a little.

 "mmneheh, yeah! yeah i guess thats true.... i'll hafta do some looking around myself though, i havent seen much of this place actually, an i think it'd be nice..."

-- He chuckles a little, tail idly swishing about. 

 "well hey, maybe sometime when we aint so sloshed, we can go 'splorin round the place. scope out somewhere you might want a house... what kinda house you thinkin of anyhow?"

-- "what, kind? uh... ohh, i guess i havent thought of it much... some kinda, big spacious... cute... oh! oh i'd love to have a nice garden all around... mmm... a big living room, with a fire place.... and a nice kitchen so i can try making my own meals, neheh...." 

 He gets this whistful look on his face as he thinks more about it, losing himself in his thoughts.

-- Spade idly sips at his drink as he watches and listens, a warm feeling in his chest, along with a pained one. 

 "...god, i forgot how cute you could be...." 

 A beat, then a blink. His face flushes red. Shit shit he didnt meant to...

-- Ixia pauses for a second too before giggling, covering his face with one of his hands. 

 "pffnyehheh heh... oh, stop it...."

-- Oh, it was. Well received? His face relaxes, and he goes back to smiling loosely. 

 "hehh, what? its true.... you've always had such a cute face, such a cute laugh...." 

 He idly slides a hand across the table, facing upwards as if to ask for a hand in return. 

 "those are some of the things i really like about you...."

-- Ixia's face flushes more, and his soul flutters harder. Seeing the hand offered to him, he.. hesitates for a moment before placing his own hand on top, both moving in almost sync so their fingers can lace together. He casts his gaze downwards, his expression dropping a little.

 "..dont you mean 'liked'....?"

-- Spade looks Ixia in the eyes, his expression relaxed, but also.. serious. 

 "no," He squeezes Ixia's bony hand. "i mean what i said."

-- His chest tightens and he squeezes Spade's hand back in turn. 

 "but i... im not the same person to you, right?... not anymore...."

-- Spade shrugs a little bit. 

 "i mean, sure, if you wanna get all technical. you're younger, went through less shit, and you even look a little different, but...." 

 He tries to think for a moment, looking at Ixia through half focused eyes, pupils razor thin almost. 

 "that dont mean nothin to me... if you wanna change yer name, change yer whole life, i'd fall for ya again and again, regardless."

-- That look itself is enough to send shivers up his spine, and the words... almost enough to tear his soul apart. Especially when he thinks back to everything Wasp's told him in regard to... to his situation. But those last words... its like Spade kicked open the flood gates, cause he cant hold back his tears.

-- Spade releases Ixia's hand only to come around to his booth and sit next to him, embracing him and holding him tight. 

 "its okay.... just let it all out."

-- Ixia hiccups as he tries to hold back his sobs but when Spade sits next to him and wraps those arms around him he just cant help but bury his face against his chest and just cry. So much pent up emotion finally gets to be released... all his confusion, all his pain, all his doubts. After a few minutes of this, Ixia finds himself feeling a little lighter than when they came in. He sniffles, still as close to Spade as he can possibly be, his head tucked against his chest. 

 "w.. will.. will y-you st.. stay with me?...."

-- Spade nuzzles the top of that skull, a low purr rumbling in his chest and throat. 

 "if you want me to, then yea. i will."

-- Ixia sniffles and nods a little, nuzzling against Spade's chest (and also wiping some of those tears away in the process). When he feels relaxed enough to pull away he lets out a shaky sigh, rubbing at his face. 

 "i... i really am sorry it.. its just been so hard and you, you just... treat me like, well, me an thats... thats all i wanted.... thats all i want...."

-- Spade watches him intently, his tail lightly thumping against the booth. When Ixia finishes talking he reaches out and holds one of his hands again, lacing their fingers together, rubbing his thumb idly against the other’s hand. 

 "its okay... you're okay." He offers him a little smile. "whatsay we get a few more rounds in before we head out. you look like you need em."

-- Ixia sniffles and blushes as Spade laces their fingers together again, managing a little smile in return. 

 "y.. yeah, okay... sounds good to me...." 

 And they do just that, Spade staying next to Ixia all the while as they go through more drinks and even more small talk, but this time... this time, the closeness makes it all the more special. Thats what Ixia thinks at least.

They spend hours together before finally they part ways, both of them knowing their goodbyes wont last for very long. Not now, not after that night. 

[midnightmisadventures]

Dream updates cause ive been busy

And now that i did that, i can tell u about this dream last night. Lately ive been on the roadd againn, getting offers about social media jobs and stuff like i was offered a “tumblr” related position and i was like omg slay

Staying in chip when someone else lives there

Hanging out with groups of guys i dont knowwwww at all. Like i do in the dream but i dont in real life, and theyre all so nice and cool and funny and sweet. And this one cutie was like hugging me and i loved him. He’s like a guy i would fall in love with in a tv show. 

Oooh the other night i was in this same situation but Liam was there. And we were on a school bus and picking seats and we alos had to sleep on the bus so there was that. And in the beginning Liam and i were super spread out, we were not maknig eye contact with eachother, trying not to beb awkward but also i was like im not even gonna talk to him. Like not in a mean way, i love him of course in a, its completely ur move and im respecting your 3D boundaries when you said GET AWAY FROM ME. (bc obviously i didnt know we were in the 5d) ONe time when he was walking through the isle on the bus i looked at him when he passed me just to give him an opportunity to give me a gesture and he didnt. 

Also we were for sure passing through wyoming and seeing this cool attraction. It was a one of a kind, all metal, one passenger rollercoaster that looked like a pin wheel. I was real excited to see it 

So then later.....we are inside somewhere sitting on this long couch against the wall. And when we walked in Liam was already sitting in a conversation and there was this guy in our group who was talking to me so it lined up perfectly like we were walking in and he was like “no no arielle, you have to run that back like go back to what you were talking about” and i casually passed right by him and sat on the couch next to the guy. 

So then as the time goes on, people are getting up, leaving and coming back and the seats are switching up. So im sitting chilling talking to someone and Liam comes sits next to me. And at the time i didnt see it as super purposeful but looking back it definitely was. Like there was so much room else where and he sat soooo close. And then, while either joining the conversation or doing something else he subtly moves even closer. To the point where we’re touching knees. But didnt like look at me specifically, didnt acknowledge it. (omg its giving nosebleed) so quickly i just like automatically. Stretched and shifted slightly. Because i wasnt thinking he’s trying to talk or anything, i was just making sure my boundary was strong for me sake. Like please i’m trying to learn how to not miss you dont sit close enough for me to smell ur scent. 

Oh and then later, we’re in a family mansion and some family some friends. Its morning and we’re about to leave but i was downstairs before i got ready and then they called everyone to leave so i was like fuck, liam’s gonna see me so ugly i have to sneak past him. So im running up the stairs and i see his room across the way and theres this pretty brunette in a white robe stumbling out his room like they just had the best sex, and i see into the room and liam was turned around butt ass naked getting his things. And i was like........who the FUCK was that?? WHAT

That was that.

Anyway LAST night. I was dreaming in a similar format and i was with friends, but sometimes with family.....and i was with Ia and she begged someone like uncle hans to get us tigers. And convinced him itd be fine and she could take care of them. I was NOT advocating or defending cause thats crazy. And it was. We had two adult grown tigers who were not super violent but not loving and sweet. They were wild animals with big teeth who could hurt us at any moment and we had them on chain leashes. Sometimes it would take all my might to hold onto the chains and i was always so scared to let them go. Ugh is this about control?? Thatd be annoying but whatever. We had tigers. 

Then we were smoking and doing other drugs like there was ketamine?? And it just kinda felt like long lasting poppers cause i don’t actually know what ketamine feels like???? And then we were going to this....you guessed it, free concert like show where we could go early and get the best seats. It was sort of in a gymnasium like the dream with kins, or the dreams about skaing and rink sports. I walked in with one of my friends who had the drugs cause we went early to do more K lol. And we got super drunk and pregammed cause we knew there wasnt alcohol in the venue and it was a festival lineup so we’d be here a while. So we run in, get through security drunk im slipping on the first couple of bleachers and we’re looking for the best seats. Then my friends like “heyyyy don’t fret, i snuck in a little k!!” and im like omg! but i felt weird about it out in the open, like she immediately put a line on my leg and did it, and i felt like people were looking but then i was like maybe im paranoid?? Like um yea bestie ur in PUBLIC. But whatever, guess i didnt care, cause she put some on my hand, like a good amount and there i go sniff sniff sniff. 

So now we’re fucked but it was such a good time