#just. choosing to project who i always have been through an imaginary acting role this time. for fun

[omegasmileyface]

idkkkkkkk sometimes i feel like the me that exists in happy communities like discord servers and flight rising and lives in my it/its and my byte/bit and my ^w^s and my astro boy posting and the me that goes to work and lies on my bed rotting and wants to go back on the stage so badly but cant because of covid and gets called by my given name and wears a posh coat and skirt are different people who are at war with each other.

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Jojo Rabbit

Taika Waititi’s Jojo Rabbit sets the tone early, as a cadre of pre-teen Hitler Youth practice a montage of activities such as grenade-throwing to the tune of Tom Waits’ “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”. If you know the song, you can’t help but feel Waititi is winking at you---it’s a rather bleak thing about how terrible being an adult is, set against an energetic scene full of romping mini-Nazis. Comparisons to Mel Brooks will be inevitable; it seems impossible that Waititi has not seen the infamous “Springtime for Hitler” bit many times.

The plot has been run through the outrage machine enough that you probably already know it. A ten-year-old boy idolizes Adolf Hitler and has him, played by Waititi, as an imaginary friend. His single mother Rosie raises him while his father is off fighting for Germany, and he idolizes the cause and the Fatherland in the way young boys admire whatever their father is doing: as a remote, hazy fantasy. His adoration of Nazism, which he barely understands, is challenged when he discovers his mother is hiding a Jewish girl in their home.

The key to both the film’s heart and humor is that it remembers how little boys see the world. Jojo’s imagined version of Hitler combines traits of the real thing and projections of himself and his hopes and fears, as do all imaginary friends. He madly berates the Jews while exuberantly waving his hands, but he does so with elementary school insults and erratic movements that remind you of a child trying to mimic a dance they saw on TV. These are comedic exaggerations of the actual monster we’ve all seen in old footage, but Jojo’s version also likes and does things the real one never would have: he’s always up for running through the woods with Jojo, steering him through the travails of bullying, and having a talk with him when he’s feeling blue. I was positively surprised to find out the movie was based on a novel, Caging Skies, by New Zealand author Christine Leunens; it seems like the sort of thing that could never work on the printed page.

Things get complicated when Jojo discovers Elsa living in a hidden room in his house, sheltered by his mother. We first see her the way we see most hiding Jews in movies: bedraggled, scrunched into a corner in a dimly lit place, looking afraid. Our expectations here are subverted when she turns out to be fierce, aggressive and more than capable of intimidating the meek and timid Jojo. Imaginary Hitler insists she must be dealt with, but she and Jojo gradually form a certain kind of friendship.

I am struggling to convey in words the reason all this works. Waititi’s humor is in the juxtaposition, in seeing history’s most evil man as the product of a child’s imagination, in seeing the stereotype of the cowering Jewish refugee flipped hard by a self-assured and not-at-all-meek young woman, in seeing the purveyors of the Aryan Race myth acting like a bunch of incompetent dandies and fools. Recall the famous scene in The Great Dictator, in which Charlie Chaplin as Hitler prances around daintily while playing with an inflatable globe. There is some of that here, as we see Hitler shamed by single mothers and grossed out by the concept of dating.

A great cast goes a long way here; the movie is full of actors who know how to sell a gag just hard enough and no harder. In addition to Waititi, Sam Rockwell, Alfie Allen and Rebel Wilson all play Nazis, though not very effective ones: they are demoted from essential cogs in the war machine to playing babysitter. Scarlett Johansson does not play a typical mother: she is both affectionate with and hard on Jojo, and insists he is not the Nazi he thinks he wants to be. Why does she not just tell him what he is and is not, you may be wondering? If you have ever dealt with children even briefly, the flaw in that reasoning should be obvious. She shows Jojo what he can choose to be, which is the most anyone can ever do.

The most important performances, though, are by Thomasin McKenzie and newcomer Roman Griffin Davis. McKenzie’s breakout performance in last year’s Leave No Trace went largely under-appreciated, but she’s getting recognition here, and for good reason. Tough as nails, she’s also not immune to emotion, alternating between threatening to cut off Jojo’s “little Nazi head” and insisting to him that he is a better person than he thinks he is. She’s an electric presence on screen, and the decision to have her character overturn our expectations is key to the film. This is Davis’s first role, and he’s given a monumental task: portray a ten-year-old as they actually are. That may not seem like much, but more often than not, little is asked of child actors; they are not tasked with behaving on screen the way children do in real life. The interplay between the two made me desire a highly improbably sequel, perhaps adventures through post-war Germany tracking down war criminals. If that sounds in bad taste, you probably want to skip this movie to begin with.

Verdict: Highly Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

 You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

 Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

 All images are property of the people what own the movie.

[frederator-studios]

Adetokumboh M’Cormack: The Frederator Interview

Adetokumboh M’Cormack is an actor and producer who also (coolly neglected to mention to me that he) directs and writes. He just directed a live action, period-set short, The German King. You might recognize Ade from Lost, Heroes, 24, Captain America: The Winter Soldier or your pick of syndicated crime dramas - pick one, he’s probably appeared in it. We are very lucky to work with Ade on Castlevania, in which he plays Isaac, an ally of Dracula’s, Devil Forgemaster and new character in season 2. Read on for Ade’s perspective on acting, favorite vampire film (a surprisingly gooby pick for this serious Actor), and discussion of Isaac - including a clip of him in character!

Why did you choose to be an actor?

Gosh, I don’t think I really had much of choice to be honest (laughs). It’s always been something that I just knew I had to do. I grew up in Kenya and went to this school in Nairobi called Braeburn. It had a state of the art theatre where we performed all these plays. I made sure I was in every one - I just loved performing. My dad's story is that when I was around ten, I got cast in a musical called Rats - based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin. I played this awesome lead role as the Rat Leader! (laughs). But my dad took me out of the play because he wanted me to focus more on my studies. I just remember being super bummed about the whole thing. After a few days, the school’s Headmaster called my dad in for a meeting and said “Your son is sad. For goodness sake, you have to put him back in the play!” He did, and I immediately cheered up. My dad later told me that it was at this point that he knew this wasn’t just a hobby to me. I was actually serious about Acting. My parents were super supportive ever since.

What do you love about Acting? So many things! I love studying people. Humans are such wonderfully complex, nuanced creatures. So to get to walk in someone else’s shoes and become a different person, and discover who they are and what makes them tick and convey how they feel - it’s just fascinating. As people, we have so many layers. And I love putting those layers onto my characters. Why do they make certain choices? What secrets are they hiding? I have a lot of fun creating characters. Do you enjoy any aspect of voice acting in particular? I really enjoy doing different things with my voice and vocal register to create different characters, and I enjoy putting on different accents. But I really just love words. And languages. And how things like alliteration can convey a certain feeling. Take Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven, or Shakespeare for example. When Macbeth says to Banquo, “To-night we hold a solemn supper sir,” there’s something very serpent-like and ominous because of the “s” sounds. So when the actor says it, the audience feels that. When I read a script, I look for how I can employ the rhythm of the words, the vowels, the use of consonance, to effectively set the picture for the scene. And Warren Ellis is such a talented writer, he uses a lot of these devices. Voice Acting in some ways is harder, because you cannot rely on anything else. People aren’t seeing your facial expressions or gestures. All you have is your voice and that microphone that picks up EVERYTHING. You cannot have one false moment because it’s amplified. So everything boils down to being truthful under imaginary circumstances. You put every ounce of your being into being truthful, and making it come through in your voice. Whenever I’m in the studio, I’m super animated. I fully act out the scene and try to make the situation as real for myself as possible. Only then can it be real for your audience/listener. I’m usually a sweaty mess by the end of it. But when you see it all put together with the animation, it’s awesome!

How were you introduced to Castlevania as a potential project? 

I really enjoy period pieces, and who doesn’t love a good Dracula story? So when my agent first told me about the project I was intrigued. And then when I started reading the script, I was blown away. I really liked the story and characters. And of course with Adi Shankar at the helm, you know you’re going to have something awesome. I remember after I watched his Power Rangers short a couple of years back I was like “whatever this guy does next, sign me up!” (laughs). Needless to say, I was really impressed by the finished product. What do you look for in a project? Do you gravitate toward certain genres? I definitely gravitate toward drama. And I’m a big fan of historical pieces. I’m getting ready to shoot a film called The German King about an African leader who rises up against German colonial rule in World War I. But the most important thing that draws me to a script is the writing. I love a well written piece with interesting, fleshed out characters. What about Isaac’s character compelled you to take the role? When you first meet Isaac in season 2, he’s having this intense, philosophical conversation with a dead creature. You start getting an insight into his intellect. Isaac is super smart. And you start understanding more about who he is, and what drives him. Villains are so often portrayed without much depth - everything’s black or white. But over the course of the season, you gain insight into Isaac’s complex mind, and you find that his motivation is seeded very, very deep. And the fact that it is written into the script that he is an African man. That made me jump at the chance to play this role. You don’t often get to see black people, or people of color portrayed in this way in period pieces, nor with the opportunity to have such rich dialogue. What more can you tell us about Isaac?

Isaac is a really interesting fellow. He has the outward appearance and quiet, peaceful demeanor of a Sufi ascetic. But there’s a lot going on within him. He had a very difficult childhood. He was severely abused. He traveled across much of Africa and the Middle East as a kid. He learned magic from a renegade occultist’s books. And when we meet him in season 2, he’s a Devil Forgemaster, and fiercely loyal to Dracula.

Did his traumatic past present a challenge as you got in touch with his character? Isaac has lived a horrific life. I did a lot of research and read literally everything I could about him. Then I created his backstory, chronicling a timeline of when and where certain things happened to him. I made the people who hurt and abused him very specific. How old was he when this happened? How did that make him feel? When did he commit his first murder? What were the major turning points in his life that contributed to him becoming the man we meet in Castlevania season 2? I needed to make him as specific as possible, in order to make him real. As an actor, you have to go there, even if it’s very uncomfortable. What is your favorite media representation of Dracula / Vampires-at-large? I watched this film called What We Do In the Shadows recently. That has to be one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen about vampires. You’ve got these male vampires knitting and being very uncool and unsexy and it’s just hysterical. It definitely puts a different spin on the whole vampire genre. What do you think Castlevania brings to the canon that is unique or new? Well, Dracula and co. are certainly not the funny, awkward vampires we see in WWDITS, that’s for sure (laughs). Dracula is powerful. I mean, super powerful. And terrifying. The vampires in Castlevania can take on these massive beast like forms. They are next level. But at the same time, there is a very human side to this Dracula as well. You’re seeing someone who fell in love, and suffered loss. And over the course of seasons one and two, you get a better understanding of who he is and why he’s filled with so much hate for humanity.

What TV shows are you a fan of? Do you regularly watch animation? Right now Ozark and Wentworth are my favorite shows. Pamela Rabe is probably my new favorite villain. I'm still catching up so don’t tell me what happens! (laughs) I don’t normally watch animation, but I started to see what else was out there, especially in anime, after working on Castlevania. Right now I’m watching Last Hope which is really cool.

How has the experience of working on Castlevania been overall?

It’s been amazing. The team is really great. Our Director Sam Deats and Voice Director Meredith Layne, and Warren, Adi, and Kevin -  they have all been so incredible to work with. And I’ve had the chance to work with some brilliant actors whose work I’ve come to respect over the years. I’m a huge fan of Graham McTavish so getting to play off of him in the studio has been a really awesome experience. What do you like best about playing Isaac?  

The fact that he’s a badass with supernatural powers (laughs). He’s got these superhuman fighting skills and uses all these cool weapons in combat. He’s like a superhero. And he’s got all this dialogue that’s just fantastic. It’s fun to play this compelling, layered character who has an awesome character arc over the course of season 2. And I love the fact that he’s a black man. We never really see black characters portrayed like this in the media, especially during that time period: the 1400’s. I hope this opens doors to casting more people of color in interesting, robust roles that play against stereotypes.

Do you relate to any aspects of Isaac’s character?

Definitely his loyalty. I’m a loyal friend. And I like to think that I’m the type of person who would sacrifice a lot for someone I love. And also if there’s a cause that I believe in, then I throw myself into it 110 percent (laughs). I like to see things through.

Have anything to say to fans of the series, in advance of season 2?

Season 1 was amazing. But season 2 takes it to a whole new level. Get ready.

Follow Ade on Twitter and Instagram.

Thank you for the interview Ade, and your incredible work as Isaac this season! Can’t wait to see what you do next - in Wallachia and otherwise. 

- Cooper ❀

(ANOTHER!? Before you smash a mug on the floor, hit these links to Graham McTavish’s and Richard Armitage’s interviews)

[rkhongjoong]

          ◻︎ ◼︎    WHO ARE YOU?              ━━━     acting as ɢᴏ ᴇᴜɴʙʏᴇᴏʟ ,   21:23  -  23:57     and just like that, opportunity comes knocking.

things haven’t exactly been quiet in royal, what with the move to the new building and all of luxe’s comebacks. the evaluations too have been eating up a lot of their time, but there’s still a reprieve when the boys are all called in for a meeting. there’s a lot of speculation going around, but hongjoong doesn’t want to get his hopes up - things always seem to go downhill from there, and even if he’s hopeful, it doesn’t mean he wants to end up hopeless. still though, this is a different meeting than the rest … the only members among them are the male trainees in royal. something is definitely going on.

it takes him a minute to process when the news settles in. at least they lead with the fact that this isn't a debut notice as much as that in and of itself is disappointing .. because if not now, then when? but at the same time, the opportunity that presents itself is still one that's rare. hongjoong is nearing his two years at royal now, and this is something that hasn't been done for anyone.

an acting scene. when was the last time royal offered anything like this opportunity to its trainees? the last acting project that hongjoong remembered coming out from royal ( and kt, too - ) was dream high, and that was all the way back in 2015. here they are with something new, and something just for them, as long as they make it.

hongjoong can't keep the grin from his lips. he wants to make it.

the first order of business is finding a scene to work with in the middle of all of the evaluation preparation. maybe they chose this month in particular to see what their ability of work balance is like. maybe what they're auditioning for is going to be that strenuous and they want to make sure that they can handle it. hongjoong knows that he can, but the difficulty for him lies in picking something right. in the end, that's what matters: picking a scene that he knows that he can show off well. it's just as important as actual talent in the end.

this isn't the first time that he's acted for the coaches, though. they once did an entire evaluation based on acting, and he took some lessons as time went by. what hongjoong showed them then was the lovable goofball.  every day he shows them who he is: the comedian, the sweetheart. this time, he wants to show them something different. a different side of himself, both as an actor and as a performer - so it takes him awhile to choose a scene. this time, hongjoong wants to be a badass. someone chaotic, with good in their heart.

that's why he decides that go eunbyeol from who are you? is the right choice. he doesn't give a shit that this is originally a female's role. he wants to show off the right kind of intimidating, and honestly? women can be badass, too.

it's not the time for a political talk, though. that's for another day.

what matters today is the performance. the thing that he has to remind himself is that it's easy to remember lines, but it's much harder to put feeling into them. to become the character that you're trying to express is another kind of beast entirely. some take acting classes forever and still never quite manage to portray a character right and others can put themselves in another's shoes so easily. acting for him wasn't part of his plan when he was a child, but as time went on and as hongjoong got older, the more he wanted to become an all around performer. it's what it means to be the true definition of an idol. acting is another skill, but to his surprise, he enjoys it.

today has to go as he practiced all month long. in between his preparation for evaluations and his normal lessons, hongjoong took a few refresher courses on acting just to get his nerve up. it's proof that today, he wants to do well. but today, he is not kim hongjoong.

today, he's go eunbyeol.

when he's called in front of the staff, he's told to shut the door behind him and to introduce his scene before he begins. hongjoong bows his head and does as he's told: after all, this is the simple part. " i'll be acting the role of go eunbyeol from who are you: school 2015." he starts, meeting the eyes of the coaches that he knows well from his other courses. he produces a sheet of his lines printed for the coaches to read along with, marked with a highlight of the lines that they'll need to read back to him plainly so that he can continue on with his scene. they make a motion for him to start. hongjoong hasn't felt more ready to be someone else in his life.

it begins with a little smirk, the smallest quirk of a brow. slowly, he tilts his head to the side and from here it can be said that he's speaking with attitude - after all, it's what the scene calls for. in this scene, go eunbyeol calls out the bully of her twin sister, and beats her back with words. they say that you should always find a part of yourself in the roles you play. it was so easy to find himself in eunbyeol. after all, everything that she did is probably something he would do if his own twin were in trouble or being bullied. he would do anything to protect him, no matter what.

it's just that, kim hongjoong is a different person than go eunbyeol. he might do the same things, but he'd do them in a different way. right now, he's go eunbyeol: right now, he's a volcano threatening to bubble over, cool anger, ice in his veins. he's a storm ready to blow back everything in the room. that's what it means to be the person that he chose. " kang soyoung ... i'm sorry but you got both of them wrong. firstly, i'm not transferring out."

" and .. i am go eunbyeol." what makes a person a person is the little mannerisms. the smallest changes in their expression, the shifts in their weight, the way they hold themselves. hongjoong goes through the scene that way, pressing every button and making an imaginary soyoung shrink back with every step he takes. the line that the coach delivers doesn't even have to be done so well: what matters is that he delivers his lines well. on point. with as much aggravation and anger as a person protecting a loved one from someone who has destroyed their spirit can. go eunbyeol is a spark to a flame, ready to burn.

and she burns for just one thing. " it's my turn to ask you. what did you do to my sister?"

just like that, the spark burns, the volcano erupts, the storm becomes a tornado. hongjoong's hands ball into fists at his side, there's an ache of pain and anger in his voice when he starts to speak his accusations. " incessant verbal abuse and pulling her hair in front of people constantly." he takes a step forward. " dumping trash on her." another step. " framing her for something she didn't do." a look of contempt, disbelief. his face pulls back into a sneer, eyes giving a look up and down to the imaginary kang soyoung. he doesn't need her in front of him to hate her. " a person died because of you. yet you don't even bat an eyelash ..." it's easy to make his voice crack. the scene is an emotional one, after all - even though in the series, eunbyeol saves her sister from drowning in the river, that doesn't mean that soyoung knows it yet. that doesn't mean that she's going to lay that card out on the table.

not when soyoung hasn't suffered half as much. " you're shameless." his voice sounds stronger here. though it cracked before, it still carried the strength of his disgust in it and all of his contempt. now, the words bite with venom.

though here, soyoung raises a hand to strike eunbyeol, obviously that can't happen in a scene where hongjoong is acting alone. instead, he improvises: raises his hand and smirks, a little scoff of a laugh sounding from his lips. the look in his eyes? it's pity. " but you know what? responding to violence with violence is beneath me." he turns, and there's an empty chair - he throws himself down in it, crossing his arms and staring away from his vision of kang soyoung.

after all, he's made it clear: she isn't worth eunbyeol's time.

the scene ends this way, hongjoong clearing his throat and standing quickly. he bows his head to each of the coaches before him judging his performance, giving them his wide and toothy smile when he thanks them for watching. this time, he did what he set out to do: hongjoong showed a different side of himself. and that's all that he wanted in the end.

[tipsycad147]

Dream Magick

Careful what you ask for....

All About Dreams and Their Magick

by Celeste

Exploring the possibilities of Dream Magic is a powerful and effective way of breaking away from linear consciousness and allowing magic into your life. Prospective magicians may even be identified by virtue of the content of their dreams, and it is not unusual for people to meet their mentors in dreams. We tend to think of dreams as a very personal aspect of our experience, so it is sometimes disconcerting when someone that we know appears in our dreams. In dreams, historical time is abolished, and distance is no object. We may witness events from the past, future, or alternative presents. Dreams are a useful starting point for entering the innerworlds. It can be useful to induce prophetic dreams, or meetings with spirits so that you can discuss a particular problem. A friend of mine who makes incense and perfumes reports that she occasionally dreams of a unique smell, which on waking, she can then analyse and manufacture. The magical artist Austin Osman Spare wrote that he would sometimes awake to find himself standing in front of a finished picture, having drawn it in his sleep. Dreams can bring new ideas, revelations, and many shades of magical experiences. Having some practical experience in Dream Magic can be an aid to developing the techniques of so-called Astral Magic.

The Language of Dreams I find, reading through my dream-diary, that there seem to be different types, or grades, of dreaming. Some dreams appear to be meaningless - unrelated to other areas of my life. Some may seem to be somehow related to things that have happened to me. Other dreams may have a different quality - an internal consistency which makes them more memorable. Some dreams may contain imagery or events which relate to your magical work. it is generally taken as a ‘good sign’ of progress is you start to dream about your magical practice.

The language of dream is not always clear - it is often cryptic and personal. The significance of your dreams becomes very much a matter of personal judgement. You will find, over time, that the ‘message’ of some dreams will be very clear, whilst you will intuitively recognise that some are clearly meaningless. Others however, may not be so clear-cut, and may require further interpretation. There are many books which attempt to provide general ‘interpretations’ for dreams, but overall, it is more effective if you learn to understand and interpret your own personal dream-imagery. If a dream seems ambiguous yet significant, you could, for example, turn to your tarot cards or another form of oracle for ‘clues’.

Basic Approaches To Dream Control It is remarkably easy to make the content of dreams conform to expectation. People who are undergoing Freudian analysis tend to have 'Freudian' dreams, whilst people who are undergoing Jungian psychotherapy will tend to experience 'Jungian' dreams. You might choose to begin experimenting with Dream Control by setting a 'theme' for your dreams - such as a particular subject, location, or person. There are several different approaches to intentionally guiding dream content.

Dream Control Using Sigils Firstly, prior to sleep, perform a relaxation exercise and clearly formulate the Statement of Intent with regard to your dream-experience. For example, "It is my will to dream of my father." Once this is done, you can allow your mind to 'wander' until you fall asleep.

Alternatively, you could try visualising a scene or image as you fall asleep. This need not be a strong visualisation, just the subject of attention as you fall asleep.

A third way of willing dream-content is to use a graphic or mantric sigil. Whatever technique you use, remember that the point is not to impose your will into your dreams, but to be relaxed at the same time as formulating your intention.

Dreamscaping This is a basic technique for inducing the repetition and extension of a dream-fragment. You simply write down what you can recall of a dream and then, the next time you lie down to sleep, imagine yourself to be re-experiencing that dream. I have found that it does help if you are tired, and can slip into the half-dream, half-aware state when all kinds of sensory images - voices, faces, places etc., seem to whirl around you. Again, on awakening, you record any fragments you can remember, and use them to extend what you dreamt about previously.

Over time, this approach can enable you to generate your own dream landscapes - which can be used in a similar way to astral temples.

Dream Telepathy The possibility of transmission of telepathic information into dreams has been the subject of a good deal of parapsychological research, usually in the form that a "sender" attempts to project some kind of information to a dreamer. However, it can happen that you will have a dream about someone in a particular situation, which they do experience.

Of course, the only way that you can find out whether a not a dream had telepathic content is to check out the person(s) concerned and find out if your dream has any meaning for them. Another possibility is to establish a telepathic link between yourself and another person by using smell. If two people use a particular fragrance or perfume, to the extent that the scent of it evokes the image or memory of the other person, then this can be used to create a dream-link. If the scent is inhaled prior to sleep, whilst relaxed and formulating an image of the other person, and a Statement of Intent for the dream, then it is possible that the other person can experience that smell in their dream, and be more receptive to telepathic experience. I have used this technique in a series of experiments, where a partner and I found that we could awaken each other during a pre-arranged hour of the night, by using scent as a telepathic signal 'booster'.

Shared Dreams A shared dream is an event wherein two or more people experience the same dream, or elements of a similar dream. Alternatively, you might dream about yourself and another person in a dream, and find out later that they too dreamt about you with them, perhaps in a different context. Again, the only way to validate this is to inform the people concerned. Attempts to orchestrate group shared-dreams can be an interesting exercise, perhaps using a semi-structured pathworking to provide the basic setting which participants could later attempt to dream themselves to. Some experiments in shared dreaming, for example, focus on all participants attempting to meet each other in a commonly-known setting - which may be a real place, or an imaginary one known to all taking part in the experiment.

Dreaming The Future That dreams have the power to warn us of the future is an ancient idea, and precognitive dreams played an important role in ancient civilisations. On the basis of a dream, the destiny of a country or state could be shaped. Dreams about the future can be symbolic, distorted, or even highly detailed and clear, but it is often difficult, beforehand to distinguish the important elements of the dream. A few years ago, some friends of mine decided to undertake an experiment in dreaming the future. They planned a visit to a town that none of them had ever visited before, and then attempted to dream themselves there. One person kept seeing the recurrent image of a long-necked cat, but for the life of him couldn't figure out how this was relevant. When he actually visited the town, almost the first thing he saw, after getting out of the car, was an antique shop. In the window was a glazed model of a long-necked cat.

Lucid Dreaming A basic definition of a lucid dream is that you know at the time that you are dreaming - as though you ‘wake up’ to awareness of the dream. The term ‘lucid dream’ was coined in 1913 by a Dutch psychiatrist, Frederik van Eeden. Surveys enquiring into the incidence of lucid dreams have found that more than 50% of people have at least one lucid dream in their lives. Lucid dreams are also distinguished from ordinary dreams in that, when you wake up, there is much more of a sense of continuity from the dream, to the waking state.

Approaches To Triggering Lucid Dreams 1. Incongruity

Lucid dreams can be triggered by the sudden recognition of incongruous imagery within a dream. For example, I once dreamed that I was in a house which I had not lived in for over a decade. The dream was perfect in every detail, except that when I looked down at my feet, I saw that I was wearing a pair of shoes that I did not possess at that time. This incongruity jarred me into realised that I was dreaming.

2. Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreaming (MILD)

This approach is done on waking in the early morning from a dream. After waking, try reading or walking around for a while, then lie down for sleep again. Imagine yourself asleep and dreaming - rehearse the elements of the dream which you have just had, and say to yourself "next time I dream this, I will remember that I am dreaming."

Lucidity can also be brought about by metaprogramming oneself so that if a particular image or scene appears, this will trigger lucidity, i.e. "I will become lucid whenever I see a yellow sphere floating towards me."

Also, it is not uncommon for people to become lucid in a dream when they realise that they have had the dream before, can remember how it develops, and do not want to re-experience it.

3. Lucid Awake-ness

A German psychologist, Paul Tholey, has suggested that if we are more ‘lucid’ when awake, then perhaps we will be more lucid during our dream-life. He suggests asking yourself many times throughout the day, "Am I dreaming or not?" I have not met anyone who has tried this method, but the sheer determination and persistence that constantly reminding yourself of this each day would take, could act as a form of self-programming.

4. Recognition of an Image

Recognition of an image or symbol appearing in dream that one has meditated upon can trigger lucidity. Carlos Castaneda’s brujo Don Juan advises his student to learn to look at his hands in dream, and thereby achieve lucid consciousness of the dream.

Creation Of A Dream-Tulpa

A ‘tulpa’ is a consciously-projected thought-form or servitor, which may perform a particular task for a magician or act as a general ‘helper’. They are of a similar nature to Spirit Desire-Forms. A Dream Tulpa takes the form of a shadowy figure - Tibetan shamans, from whom the name derives, often projected these figures in the form of monks - whom you should gradually begin to embellish with features over time. For example, you could spend some minutes working with the Dream Tulpa each night. Your aim should be not so much to impose features onto the shadow-form - but to let them arise. For example, you might notice, the first time you do this, that the Tulpa is a man. Mentally note one or two features (write them down when you can) and leave it at that. The next night, you might find yourself deciding that the man wears heavy gold rings on his hands. The trick is to let the shape build up gradually, taking on more detail and its own ‘life’, until it spontaneously crosses over into your dream experience.

Knowing that you have dreamt about the Tulpa is itself, a great step forwards. If you can reach that stage, then you may consider working with the Tulpa consciously, in waking, semi-waking, and dream states. You could for example, ask the Tulpa to act as a ‘trigger’ to bring you to lucid awareness in dream, or to guide you in travelling to different realms in the lands of dream. It is important that you build up a relationship of trust and confidence with the Tulpa, that you recognise it as an individual entity, albeit one that you are responsible for.

Bridging The Conscious Divide

It can be rewarding to try and approach dreaming from a non-western point of view, such as that of the Australasian Aborigines. The Ancient Egyptians believed that sleep is a ‘rehearsal’ for death, and that the pathways through the lands of the dead could be mapped through dreaming. The Chippewa of Canada and the Northern United States believed that the origin of all their tribal skills, customs and values came from dreams or visions.

The Magical Applications Of Dream Revelation & Oracle The search for revelation of one kind or another - or for an answer to a pressing issue or problem, may often terminate in a dream. In ‘primitive’ societies, the course of an individuals’ life may be drastically changed by a dream. In some Native American societies for example, the transgender role of Berdache (man-woman) was often confirmed through the interpretation of a candidates dreams.

Dream Incubation This is a practice by which significant dreams are obtained by sleeping at a sacred site related to a particular cult or spirit. This practice features in many cultures, from Ancient Egypt to Tibet. By the 3rd Century A.D, it became popular in Greece to ask for physical healing through dream - the cult of Aesculapius became the most widespread cult of dream incubation. Pilgrims would, following purification rites and preparation (such as sacrifice, prayer etc.), sleep on the skins of sacrificial animals, surrounded by yellow snakes (a symbol of the god), in order that they might dream of the god Aesculapius - which was in itself a marvellous cure. Later, in Rome, the dream was no longer in itself a cure, but a source of medical advice.

Similarly, it is not uncommon for people having taken part in a magical ritual, to dream of it continuing. It has been reported that sleeping in the area where group ritual has been worked can facilitate this.

Seeking Answers Through Dream Answers to specific questions or issues can be sought through dreams using, for example, a sigil of some kind. One is not however, guaranteed of an unambiguous answer.

Power Objects & Spirit Names Personal Power objects may be obtained through dreaming. Symbols or images beheld in dream may be transferred into the waking world as talismans or fetishes. Such artifacts ‘contain’ the essence of the dream - perhaps a reminder of the heightened awareness experienced within it.

Also, spirits and other entities may name themselves in dreams. A friend of mine received his ‘magical name’ in a dream. Entities encountered in dreams could be given form - such as a drawing, poppet, or carving, and worked with on a conscious level.

These are just a few of the applications of Dream Magic, but there is enough here to make a start in exploring this fascinating area of magical work.

Angel of Dreams Assistance Spell

October 20th, 2003

Monday is sacred to the Moon and to the goddess Diana. Diana is the protector of women and animals and the goddess of the hunt, but she is also the goddess of night—the time of rest, sleep, and dreams. In the Qabalah, the Moon is referred to as the Angel of Dreams. This would be a good night to make use of the magical power of dreams through a dream incubation spell. To start, first determine what problem you would like Diana to help you with. Write the problem or question on a piece of paper, and read it several times during the day. At night when you retire to bed, put the paper under your pillow and say the following words softly to yourself: Artemis, Diana, Goddess of Night, Angel of Dreams, I have brought to you my question, And I await your instruction. During the night, you will receive instruction on how to mend the problem. If this does not happen on the first night, do not be discouraged. Try again as many nights in a row as you need to until you get a result. To make use of the information, it is essential to recall your dream when you wake up in the morning. If this is difficult for you, then do not get up or open your eyes quickly when you wake up. Lie in bed for a few more minutes. Return your body to the same position that you were in while you were dreaming. Your body has memory. Keep a pad by the bed and write down the dream as soon as you remember it.

Dream ritual

Best performed at night. Get into bed and center yourself. Imagine yourself encirled by a blueish/purplish light. Imagine you're floating in a physic sphere.

Determine precisely what is is you want them to feel or hear from you. Center yourself, imagine a vivid picture of the person recieving the dream

Picture your dream and when you're finished, say the following: Holy Mother, Goddess Divine I stand before your sacred shrine. This person won't listen or hear My words tickle at deafened ear. Holy Mother, Goddess Divine, Send a dream, awaken the mind. Through his/her visions he/she might live The nightmare/passion lesson/he/she so freely give. Holy Mother, Goddess Divine Send them your enchanted design Clear out the cobwebs, tear down the walls Carry my message through spirit calls.

Of course you may change the incantation any way you wish. I use a smaller quicker verse:

Dream be fast and Dream be quick, Send this thought that I depict. Send it with love an harm to none, Send my dream! My will is done!

And as always...use in perfect love! Good luck.

DREAM CONTROL METHOD

Ingredients

Learn to realize you are having an out of body experience through dream control! Then when you have become successful with that part of dreamcontrol , you will be ready for this part. You need to advance your dream techniques to where you realize that you are dreaming so that you can control the dream. Once you realize that you are dreaming you will find that you can control where you want to go and what you want to do. Now I am talking about when you have a dream that is in full blown color. Those type of dreams usually mean that your are actually out of body. You see, when people go to sleep at night their astral bodies leave and float around the astral planes in a dreamy state or gathering energy. Sometimes you may be learning things from other higher beings and eventually it is released in your conscious state later on when these beings think the time is right. You just have to become conscious of all this. Here are your key pointers: Work with dreams that are in full color. You must learn to become conscious during the dream. Try to take control of the dream and go where you wish. When you have achieved control you will know you have had an OBE! Remember to keep a diary of every experience.

Dream Magick By Silver RavenWolf

Do you ever want to get an important message through to someone, but you just don't know how to do it? Here is what you do: 1. Determine precisely what it is you want them to hear, or perhaps feel. Write down your wish on a piece of paper in simple sentence form. 2. Make a dream pillow using a small square of fabric and a little batting. Throw in a pinch of lavender and rosemary. Put in the piece of paper last, then sew up the end. 3. Put the dream pillow on your altar. Do an altar devotion to center yourself, then create sacred space. Cast a circle and call the quarters if you like, but is isn't necessary. 4. Center yourself, then hold your hands over the dream pillow and say the following: Holy Mother, Goddess Divine, I stand before your sacred shrine. This person won't listen or hear My words tickle at deafened ear. Holy Mother, Goddess Divine, Send a dream, awaken the mind. Through his/her vision he/she might live The nightmare/passion/lesson he/she so freely give. Holy Mother, Goddess Divine Send them your enchanted design Clear out the cobwebs, tear down walls Carry my message through spirit calls. Feel free to change the incantation to suit your purpose.

Dream Recipes

Dark Lady's Dreams Incense 1/2 palmful Cinnamon 3 whole Allspice 1/2 palmful Sweet Dittany of Crete 1 pinch Cedar 1 pinch Fennel 6 drops Hyancith Oil, 2 pinches Rosemary 6 drops Cinnamon oil 1 1/2 pinches Mullein 2 pinches Benzoin 1 palm Witchhazel 4 pinches Saltpeter -- more or less to suit

Dream Incense 2 parts Sandalwood 1 part  Rose 1 part  Camphor A few drops of Jasmine Oil Burn a bit in the bedroom to produce psychic dreams.

Dream Tea 2 parts Rose 1 part Mugwort 1 part Peppermint 1 part Jasmine 1/2 part Cinnamon Drink to cause dreams.

Dreaming True Bath Oil 1 part Lavender 1 part Rosemary 1 part Peppermint 1 part Thyme Pinch of Poppy seed 1/2 oz.  Carrier Oil

Dreaming True Incense 1 part Camphor 1 part Wood Aloe 1 part Jasmine 1 part Cucumber seeds 1 part Sandalwood

Prophetic Dreams Incense ( to help with prophetic dreams, divination and astral projection) 1/2 oz. Sandalwood 1/4 oz. Bayberry 1/2 oz. Rose petals 1/4 oz. Lavender 1/4 oz. Orris root 1 oz. Lemon peel 1/4 tsp. Saltpeter 3/8 tsp. Frankincense Oil 1 tsp. Tincture of Benzoin

Prophetic Dreams Incense2 2 parts Frankincense 1 part  Buchu Burn before going to bed to have prophetic dreams.

Prophetic Dreams Sachet 2 parts Rose 1 part Jasmine 1 part Poppy 1 part St. Johnswort 2 parts Mistletoe 1 part Rose Hips 2 or 3 pieces of Mandrake Tie in a purple cloth.

Sleep Oil 2 drops Rose 1 drop Jasmine 1 drop Chamomile 1/4 oz. Base Oil Anoint body to bring sleep on.

Sweet Dreams Potpourri 2 c rosepetals 1 t sandalwood EO (Essential Oil) 1 t cedarwood EO (Essemtial Oil) 1 T ground alspice 1 crushed cinnamon stick 1 c jasmine 1 c lavendar 1 c Sweet William 1 c lily of the Valley 2 c wisteria vine 1 c orris root

Dreaming with the Moon

by Connie Cockrell Kaplan

The astrological signs represent how energy moves, spirals, cycles, and changes. Each sign has unique characteristics. As the moon moves through the astrological signs each month, the dream energy takes on some of the characteristics of each sign. Remember, the moon moves through all twelve signs of the zodiac every month, spending more than two but less than three days in each one. You may have an "Aries" type dream when the sun is in Cancer — because it is the moon’s position that defines the dreaming! You’ll want to buy a Pocket Astrologer calendar — Jim Maynard makes a very good one (Quicksilver Productions, P.O. Box 340, Ashland, Oregon 97520) — so you can check the location of the moon each night!

Be very careful, however, not to become literal with this information. Each dreamer’s contract is unique. Your relationship to each sign is totally yours. Some signs may be more powerfully placed in your astrological chart than others. This section is a study guide, not a dictionary or a rule book.

What follows is a broad-strokes summary of the energy you may experience in dreaming when the moon moves through the zodiac. The energies will vary according to the season, the sun’s placement, other planets, and your own lunar cycle every month. These are simply guidelines to begin your personal investigations.

Aries Dreaming

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the initiation of a new cycle. In the yearly calendar, Aries begins on the first day of spring — the vernal equinox. When the moon is in Aries, dreams may be about new beginnings, new rules, new limits to test, or new understandings of old ideas. Aries dreams reveal the dreamer’s new relationship to ancient cycles. The "mascot" of Aries is the ram — he who bangs his head. Aries dreams, therefore, may be about the head: headaches, new ways of thinking, or a new focus.

Taurus Dreaming

Taurus is a very earthy, sensual sign. Taurus loves beauty and loves to nurture nature. When the moon is in Taurus, dreams might be about stewardship of Mother Earth. Taurus dreams might also involve different kinds of nurturing: caretaking, tending, cooking, gardening, and land loving. The Taurus mascot is the bull. Taurus rarely takes no for an answer! So, Taurus dreams may include a certain bullish, determined, sturdy, and enduring energy, and the dreams may be about accomplishment against odds. Taurus also governs the throat, so some dreams may refer to singing or speaking — using voice to bring beauty to the planet.

Gemini Dreaming

Gemini is the twin sign. Geminis can see the connectedness of all things. Mirror dreams often appear when the moon is in Gemini, because Geminis see form as a mirror. This sign also governs the lungs, so dreams of breath may occur. Gemini dreams may illuminate the principle of reciprocity: giving and receiving energy, the metaphorical breath. Geminis love to learn. They appreciate ideas for their own sake, and they are good at acquiring knowledge. The moon may send information to a dreamer at this time. Library dreams and school dreams ("Oh, no, I forgot to study for the test!") may occur when the moon is in Gemini.

Cancer Dreaming

In the Northern Hemisphere, the sun moves into Cancer on the summer solstice, the longest day and shortest night of the year. It is the turning point between the dance of light and dark. Each month when the moon is in Cancer, dreams may bring forth the dreamer’s personal relationship with the light and dark cosmic dance. Cancer is the home of the moon, and it is the most feminine of the signs. Often, dreams of the mother/child dynamic will come when the moon is in Cancer. Cancer governs the womb (the dreaming organ), the ovaries, and the breasts. Regeneration and procreation may be Cancerian dream themes. Natural cycles, changing tides, changing emotions (inner tides), and water sports may be other Cancer dreams.

Leo Dreaming

Leo represents an ecstatically alive and joyous life force. Leo honors all things born of love: children, art, visions, and inspirations. Leo wants what is best for the community and loves to inspire people to be their best. Theater dreams and party dreams are most likely to occur when the moon is in Leo. The ruler of Leo is the sun, the heart chakra. As a result, dreams of one’s true nature, one’s innocent lust for life, come at this time. Running off to join the circus is an example of a Leo dream. The lion is Leo’s symbol — king of the jungle and king of great hair! Often hair dreams and dreams of intelligence occur when the moon is in Leo. Dreams that involve actual lions also have a tendency to come when the moon aspects Leo.

Virgo Dreaming

Virgo, the virgin, is always appropriate. She is pure, polished, focused, discriminating, and a perfectionist. Some call Virgo nitpicky. Dreams of getting affairs and objects in order may come when the moon is in Virgo. Virgo has very high standards and pays great attention to detail. One might have researcher dreams, scientist dreams, analysis dreams, or critical dreams at this time. Virgo rules the intestines and the pancreas, so Virgo dreams may be about body issues. One may have dreams about breaking down and assimilating food and/or information. Virgo is also a great healing sign, so the dreamer may either receive or be taught a healing technique in Virgo dreamtime.

Libra Dreaming

Libra represents life’s balancing force. Some say that Libra is the most karmic sign in the zodiac, for karma is the great balancing force. Yearly, the sun moves into Libra on the autumnal equinox, marking the beginning of winter. When the moon is in Libra, dreams may be difficult. Libra dreams may point toward unbalanced energies. They may be a road map for necessary journeys into the underworld, into the "winter" of the soul. Libra is also the sign of justice and diplomacy, so Libra dreams may inspire the dreamer to take civil action and demand justice. Libra also governs the kidneys. A Libra dream may alert one about abnormal kidney function, or the dream may point out a need for a more proper energy flow within the dreamer’s life.

Scorpio Dreaming

Transformation, death, and rebirth are the anchor points of Scorpio. These words may scare some people. Dreamers, however, know that death in a dream marks a profound and exciting transformation. "Deconstruct and reconstruct" could be the motto of Scorpio. Dreams of giving birth, shedding skin (snake dreams), death, or profound change may come when the moon is in Scorpio. Scorpio is the sign of shrewd intelligence and deep insight, so dreams that come at this time may allow the dreamer to see beneath the surface. Scorpio also governs the nose. Aromatherapy dreams, anyone?

Sagittarius Dreaming

Sagittarius is the teacher’s teacher. Religion, philosophy, theology, and spirituality are the favorite topics of Sagittarius. The Sagittarian tests, verifies, and easily dumps any information that does not measure up to his or her ethic. Sagittarius dreams may involve religious ceremonies, spiritual experiences, and scientific testing. Sagittarius governs the blood. Dreams may refer to the sense of inner peace invoked by proper blood flow. Sagittarius also governs the thighs, so dreams of strength and power may come at this time. Dreams of magnificent sports feats are not unusual when the moon is in Sag.

Capricorn Dreaming

Capricorn holds dominion over the forces of nature. He is the master of manifestation. In the Northern Hemisphere, the sun moves into Capricorn on the winter solstice, the shortest day and longest night of the year — which is also said to be King Arthur’s birthday. Winter solstice marks another turn in the dance of light and dark. Capricorn dreams may be authoritarian and depict power over, as well as service to, nature. Capricorn rules the bones — the framework of the body. Because we download information into our bones, dreams when the moon is in Capricorn may evoke memory stored in our bones. Similarly, Mother Earth downloads information into her skeletal system — the minerals. Capricorn dreams may be crystal or stone dreams. They may call up some deep information or visualize the beauty of the mineral world. Capricorn also rules the knees. As a result, Capricorn dreams may be humbling and remind us to serve others.

Aquarius Dreaming

Aquarius is the sign of the New Age: the age of brotherhood, equanimity, and social justice. Aquarius tends to community needs and is always concerned with the group benefit. Dreams with the moon in Aquarius may be telepathic. They may allow the dreamer to perceive information from the collective consciousness. Aquarius dreams may inspire the dreamer toward social action. in addition, according to traditional astrology, Aquarius is an air sign. Dreams may depict certain properties of "air wave" communication, or they may involve air travel or wind. Tornado and tidal-wave dreams may come during an Aquarius moon.

Pisces Dreaming

Pisces, the most charitable and philanthropic sign, brings dreams that are mystical, psychic, and collective. Fluidity, unpredictability, and sensitivity are Pisces characteristics. Pisces is the sign of strong emotion and deep feeling. Pisceans love to escape. Pisces dreams can be of solitude, talking and breathing under water, deep secrecy, sacrifice, or running away. The Piscean Age, from which we now pass, was the age of great devotion to religion and organization. As a result, Pisces dreams may also reflect piety and unbending loyalty to a cause or a person.

Void-of-Course Dreaming

As the moon moves from sign to sign during a month, she may, for a few hours, be outside the direct influence of any sign. (Those constellations are far apart!) When the moon is between signs, she is said to be void of course. If you have a dream during that time, it will often be a dream of very profound quality. Usually, when the moon is void of course, nothing much happens. Women have been known to stop labor, wait for the moon to move into a new sign, and start again. If a dream comes when the moon is void of course, it is important. For example, I have received virtually all my dreaming information when the moon was void of course.

Herbal Dreamcraft

Dream Divination: Sights into the future, burn frankincense, dried jasmine flowers, or mugwort in bedroom before going to sleep. Tea brewed from mugwort or rosebuds will also work. You can also sleep with ash leaves, bay leaves, cinquefoil, heliotrope, holly, jasmine flowers, marigold flowers, mimosa, mugwort, onion, or yarrow under your pillow.

Dreams of Guidance for Love matters: sleep with any of the following herbs above your bed or underneath your pillow; cinquefoil, marjoram, vervain, and yarrow.

Dreams of Spiritual Guidance: drink mint tea before sleeping, or sleep with Buchu leaves or mint leaves under your pillow.

Enhance Dream Recall: mugwort, passionflower leaves, and rosemary. Drink as tea before going to bed or place under your pillow while sleeping.

Healing Dreams: drink tea-potion made from catnip or mint, burn cedar as a magickal dream incense, or sleep with agronomy, catnip, mint, sandalwood, or thyme under the pillow.

Mugwort: Most potent herb for dreamcraft. Aids in astral projection and lucid dreaming when burned as incense or placed under pillow while sleeping. Brew a tea from mugwort and drink it just before going to bed in order to strengthen psychic and magickal dream powers.

Prophetic Dream Visions: Make dream pillows or potions with any of the following herbs; adder's tongue, agrimony, anise, camphor, cinnamon, daisy, holly, hops, ivy, lemon verbena, lesser celandine, mandrake root, marigold, mistletoe, mugwort, onion, peppermint, purslane, rose, Saint John's wort, verbena, vervain, wormwood, and yarrow.

Psychic and Spiritual Growth: burn frankincense or mugwort, drink mugwort tea, or sleep with the herb underneath or sewn into your pillow.

Spiritual Protection: Burn cedar incense before going to bed. Keep live hyacinth plant near your bed, or sleep with any of the following herbs underneath your pillow; anise seeds, marigold flowers, mistletoe, mullein, purslane, rosemary, thyme, Ti plant, and yarrow. Will also guard against nightmares, psychic attacks, and baleful phantoms of the night.

Sweet Dreams and Restful Nights: Place any of the following herbs under your pillow; catnip, hops, mistletoe, passionflower leaves, psyllium seeds, and vervain. Rub juice of a lettuce on your forehead or eating its leaves before going to sleep will also help.

MILD SEDATIVE: Pour 1 pint boiling water over 1 tsp. dried catnip. Cover andsteep until cool. Strain and sweeten. Start with 2 Tlb. increase by 1 Tlb. until you find the right amount. Store in the fridge.

HOP SEDATIVE: Pour 1 pint boiling water over 1 1/2 tsp. dried hops flowers. Let steep, covered,10 minutes. Strain and sweeten. Add lemon juice.

FEVERFEW TEA: Pour 1 pint boiling water over 1 ounce of feverfew flowers. Cover and steep until cool. Strain and sweeten with honey. Drink cool.

TO INDUCE SLEEP: Mix 2 Tlb dried peppermint with 1 Tlb each of rosemary and sage. Pour 1pint boiling water over the herbs, steep for 5 to 10 minutes,strain and sweeten with honey.

or back up.

How To Remember Your Dreams © 1990 by Alex Lukeman

The most powerful time for us to touch the bridge between the conscious and unconscious mind is in the "twilight zone? between sleep and wakefulness. During this temporary period many of the filters which our outer mind imposes have been removed. The lines of communication are more open. Material can flow more freely between conscious and unconscious. This is a good time to tell yourself that you want to remember your dreams. Try this simple technique for stimulating your memory.

1. Lie comfortably on your back as you quietly prepare for sleep. 2. Be sure that you will not be interrupted or disturbed—not a bad idea for simply going to sleep! 3. Place your hand over the center of your chest, resting lightly and comfortably. Feel the warmth of your hand and your chest. 4. Say to yourself "Tonight I am going to remember my dreams. Tonight I will remember my dreams. I want to remember my dreams," 5, Continue to repeat this to yourself for a few minutes, You may or may not say this out loud, Be aware of your hand resting lightly on your chest. The hand signals you that you are ready to remember your dreams.

After you have done this for a few minutes, simply relax and drift off to sleep. Make sure that you have first prepared to record your dreams (have a pen and paper or tape recorder close to your bed) and that you are aware of this. Remembering and recording your dreams will become easier with paper

Lucid Dreaming

POWER TRIPS: CONTROLLING YOUR DREAMS

    A number of techniques facilitate lucid dreaming. One of the simplest is asking yourself many times during the day whether you are dreaming. Each time you ask the question, you should look for evidence proving you are not dreaming. The most reliable test: Read something, look away for a moment, and then read it again. If it reads the same way twice, it is unlikely that you are dreaming. After you have proved to yourself that you are not presently dreaming, visualize yourself doing what it is you'd like. Also, tell yourself that you want to recognize a nighttime dream the next time it occurs. The mechanism at work here is simple; it's much the same as picking up milk at the grocery store after reminding yourself to do so an hour before.

    At night people usually realize they are dreaming when they experience unusual or bizarre occurrences. For instance, if you find yourself flying without visible means of support, you should realize that this happens only in dreams and that you must therefore be dreaming.

    If you awaken from a dream in the middle of the night, it is very helpful to return to the dream immediately, in your imagination. Now envision yourself recognizing the dream as such. Tell yourself, "The next time I am dreaming, I want to remember to recognize that I am dreaming." If your intention is strong and clear enough, you may find yourself in a lucid dream when you return to sleep.

    Even if you're a frequent lucid dreamer, you may not be able to stop yourself from waking up in mid-dream. And even if your dreams do reach a satisfying end, you may not be able to focus them exactly as you please.

    During our years of research, however, we have found that spinning your dream body can sustain the period of sleep and give you greater dream control. In fact, many subjects at Stanford University have used the spinning technique as an effective means of staying in a lucid dream. The task outlined below will help you use spinning as a means of staying asleep and, more exciting, as a means of traveling to whatever dream world you desire.

    Before retiring, decide on a person, time, and place you would like to visit in your lucid dream. The target person and place can be either real or imaginary, past, present, or future. Write down and memorize your target person and place, then visualize yourself visiting your target and firmly resolve to do so in a dream that night.

    To gain lucidity, repeat the phrase describing your target in your dream, and spin your whole dream body in a standing position with your arms outstretched. You can pirouette or spin like a top, as long as you vividly feel your body in motion.

    The same spinning technique will help when, in the middle of a lucid dream, you feel the dream imagery beginning to fade. To avoid waking up, spin as you repeat your target phrase again and again. With practice, you'll return to your target person, time, and place. When spinning, try to notice whether you're moving in a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction.

TO GIVE SOMEONE A DREAM You need: -- A dish of earth a cup or cauldron of water a candle (check color correspondences for whatever kind of dream you will be sending) and some incense (any kind, this is just to symbolize air). If you have an altar it should go in the middle of wherever you are placing these objects. Put the earth to the North the incense to the East the fire to the South and the water to the West. Then sit in the middle by your altar or just in the middle. Visualize the dream you wish to give and after you're done visualizing say this: "Lord and Lady I ask of thee Give me the ability to send forth this dream Across the Earth or water's bound Whether he/she be in the sky or on the ground By the powers of fire to let it shine bright By the powers of earth and air to send it tonight By the powers of water to sweep within dream's door And by the powers of 3 shall _____ remember it evermore Sleep in the knowledge the dream will be projected to the person you have visualized. Be sure to go through every detail of what you wish to send.

https://crimsonwolfe.tripod.com/id11.html

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For 100 Days, I Illustrated People In Exchange For Their Secrets

I’m Terence Eduarte and I’m an illustrator from the Philippines. Every person has an interesting story to tell and I wanted to channel that into this project. I gathered a lot of silly secrets from friends and unexpected confessions from strangers around the world.

Here are some of them.

More info: Instagram | trnz.co

“I’m acting in a play where this guy has to act like he’s secretly in love with me. But when the play ends, we go back to real life where I’m secretly in love with him.”

“I sometimes feel alone even if I’m with friends. I feel like I’m just an add-on when we’re together.”

“I want to ask my half-sister if our estranged dad ever touched her back when they were living under the same roof. Or was I his only victim?”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I always check if my friends are doing well, but people rarely ask how I am.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“Half of my friends are people I wish I never met.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I created an imaginary friend as a coping mechanism for my depression. Now I want to make her disappear but she keeps coming back.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I told my unborn son I wasn’t ready to be loved by him. The next day I miscarried.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“It was my 28th birthday last week and no one remembered it. Not a single call or text from my friends and family. So I woke up the next day, sat outside my house and cried quietly. My dog came and started crying too. It was the most beautiful thing someone has ever done for me.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I like playing with other people’s feelings because i’m unsure about mine.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I’ve cheated on quite a few guys. And now that I’ve found the love of my life, he wasn’t ready for me. He was seeing me while he was seeing his ex. If there’s any way to portray Karma in its purest, most painful and justified form, this is it.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I burned the suicide note I wrote a month ago. Today is a good day.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I wrote letters to my girlfriend everyday. Everyday until her lung cancer took her away from me.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I got drugged and raped by someone i knew and can’t get myself to tell anyone for fear of victim blaming. But on most days, i can’t help but victim blame myself.”

“Half of my friends are people I wish I never met.”

“I don’t like my close friends being close with other people.”

“I have a weird obsession with smelling the scent of paper and hearing the sound while flipping through the pages.”

“I can’t stand the ringing of bells. Every time I hear it, my heart beats faster. It reminds me of my mom’s voice and the bells on her keys that would ring every single time she comes home. God knows what she had done to me.”

“Everyone thinks I can drive but I just choose not to. The truth is, I never pass the test.”

“I fall in love too easily and terribly hard. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“I’m a perfectionist who isn’t perfect at all. It’s exhausting.”

“I contributed to my friends’ success and resent them for not including me once they became famous.”

“I was abused when I was 6 or 7. I can’t remember which age, but I remember what the abuser did. He drew naked figures, showed me where to touch, made me touch things… Things I don’t want to remember. I didn’t know it was wrong back then, but I’m grateful that it didn’t go any further. It left a big impact on me and I always blamed myself for it. I got OCD after that. My every action repeated, my daily routines repeated. I wash repeatedly, lock and unlock doors repeatedly, read my school books repeatedly. I repeat words 50 to 100 times till It satisfies me. It affected my life so much, and no one knew why. And no one knew why.”

“He is the love of my life but I found that out too late. Whenever there is snow, it reminds me of him.”

“It’s been two and a half years but I still can’t tell those around me that I am HIV positive. So instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I volunteer to help change the stigma around HIV.”

“One day, I came home from the university and my mother told me to cover up my legs in front of my friends. She didn’t want them to realize I had gained weight and she said she was just protecting me from gossip. The comment didn’t leave my mind and I’ve been bulimic ever since.”

“Many years ago, I was so broke that I stole a roll of toilet paper from my office.”

“I made up an entire part of my life. People believe some of the things actually happened, but really a lot of my stories are fake.”

“It sucks to feel unimportant. I know you shouldn’t really expect much from people but it hurts to see when they only come to you when they need something. They only remember me, not because of me, but for something they might gain.”

“I am generally thankful and happy about what I’ve got in my life. But I always feel like there is a black hole in my heart that no one would understand, some pain just won’t go away and I’m trying hard to live with it.”

“I haven’t been posting any photo with my face on it since last year. I feel better than ever.”

“I am constantly thinking about what other people think of me. And I don’t think that’s healthy.”

“Father’s day will always be the time of the year I’ll envy everybody for posting how great their dads are. I used to be sad about it but now, I think I accepted that he won’t be that hero and role model every father should be.”

“I buy stuff I can’t afford to make people believe I am someone who I am not. They see Prada and Burberry while my bank account is on the verge of ruining my life.”

“I’m in the military so I can’t be open about my suicidal thoughts. They constantly give you training on suicide prevention but they don’t get that once you make the decision to take your life nothing changes that decision unless you have true hope, and that’s my husband for me. I don’t think very many people out there have true hope.”

“I wanted to visit my grandmother in the hospital but it was a long walk and I got lazy. The next day, she passed away.”

“I am a journalist secretly dating a high-profile and controversial public official. If this gets out, I’m almost certain I’ll lose my job.”

“I dont have a twitter account but I still stalk him on twitter just to check how he’s doing. He seems to be doing fine. I’m not…”

“My father usually takes my milk after coming home drunk and suffering from stomach pain. One night, I said no to him to punish him for his drinking. A week later, he had a fatal accident after another drink. I really feel sorry for not offering my dad the milk that night.”

“I try my hardest to make people happy because I know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless. I don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”

“Although the nasty rumors that circulated about me were untrue, I don’t bother correcting them and let people think I’m not a virgin anymore. But the truth is, I haven’t even had my first kiss.”

“I don’t know what I want…”

“I’m on the album cover of my cheating, lying, sociopathic ex-boyfriend. I’m still wondering if I should be ashamed or proud.”

“I like to think the best of people but I actually think most humans are terrible.”

“I’ve posted photos and stories on social media to show people how interesting and colorful my life is. However, it’s just the total opposite.”

“I tell people my mom died from cancer when she actually died from cirrhosis due to alcoholism. I didn’t want people to think she was a horrible mother. We were close no matter how different the alcohol made her sometimes.”

“I’m always the one who gets left in a relationship. I thought I was okay. I try to convince myself that I am okay. But there are nights when I just have sudden breakdowns and I ask myself so many questions. Is something wrong with me… am I really not worth fighting for?”

“I overdo things and I constantly make myself the center of attention because I’m terrified of being forgotten.”

“I lost my smile a long time ago. Now I go everywhere hoping nobody will notice that this isn’t my smile anymore.”

“I was born into a culture that never accepted me. Born to an Arab father and a European mother; I am constantly fighting two sides of my identity. Anxiety and depression has completely taken over me.”

“I tell my close friends a lot of details about my relationship issues. I can never tell if they actually do care, or if they’re just pretending.”

“Sometimes I feel like I am a really abusive person that only use people for my own good. This scares me so much.”

“I think I’ll never find my other half because I have a hard time expressing and feeling love; it might sound weird but I would only feel love after watching films and series because of the beauty they hold.”

“Five years ago, I caught my third girlfriend cheating on me. That was the time I decided to have a boyfriend instead.”

“I got drugged and raped by someone i knew and can’t get myself to tell anyone for fear of victim blaming. But on most days, i can’t help but victim blame myself.”

“It’s been two years but I still think about my ex every day. It’s cliche and lame I know. I wish I had a better secret.”

“I am in love with my favorite singer that lives halfway across the world. I often write her letters and I’m hoping we can be friends one day.”

“My first relationship was a physically and emotionally abusive one. When that finally ended, it took me a while to get used to the idea that love can actually be expressed in ways other than what I have experienced.”

“I talk to myself everyday in the mirror to rehearse how my day would likely turn out. Unfortunately, it never turns out the way I planned.”

“I never learned how to swim. So I just tell people that I have chlorine allergy. It’s quite embarrassing.”

“To this day, only my boyfriend and I know that I was pregnant at age 18. Not even my poem on a bathroom door was interpreted correctly by strangers. The secret continues to be safe between us and the hotel room where it ended.”

“I’m so self-conscious that I can’t even go to the grocery without comparing myself to other women there.”

“My bipolar disorder is completely out of control. No one knows, because I’m good at being fine.”

“I got rejected by my friends because they think I’m gay. I tried telling them that I’m not but I’m starting to realize they might be right. I’m lost between myself and our friendship.”

“I’m ashamed that I take pleasure in my friends fighting with their partners. It makes me feel better about being perpetually single.”

“I’m ten years older than my sister but she’s marrying someone my age. I tell people I’m unhappy about the age difference, but I think the real reason is I might be jealous.”

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2vUcfFG via Viral News HQ

[symbianosgames]

This interview is part of our Road to the IGF series. You can find the rest by clicking here.

Oiκοςpiel, Book I is an opera in five acts, taking the player on a surreal journey of music, canine programmers, bear assassinations, unions, and a relationship between player and game world, breathing life into it through the manipulation of objects and sending their will to move through the computer.

Developer David Kanaga's heady, almost overwhelming work has earned him an IGF nomination for the Nuovo Award. Gamasutra sought him out to talk about the process of Oiκοςpiel, Book I's creation, and how that, and all are aspects, became a part of an extensive message told through imagery, interactivity, and sound.

I've been working with games for about 8 years. I'm probably best known for doing interactive music designs on projects such as Proteus (with Ed Key), Panoramical (with Fernando Ramallo, et al) and Dyad (w Shawn McGrath). My blog, wombflashforest, has some of my writings on musical game theory.  

Before working explicitly in the field, and as a kid loving games, I was brought up Zelda, Conker, group improv, Fruityloops, and D&D -- Josh Bothun, who coded the website, was the one to introduce me to game dev as a doable thing and got me into it! 

I'd always wanted to compose for a game in the AAA style. In late 2014, while working on Panoramical, Fernando Ramallo showed me the unity landscape sculpting tool and the unity asset store, and I realized it'd be possible to make my own Frankenstein-ian AAA game with these tools. 

I sculpted some landscapes, imagined different activities on the landscapes, and had a desire to run with a pack of dogs and to trigger a few things, including perspective shifts, between First, Second, Third person, etc. So, I bought the dogs and I hired Fernando to make the tools for triggering things, and he made these amazing scripts that after about a month of debugging together, basically never crashed for me again, which means I was able to write the game without coding and without running into fatal "bugs"-- a huge boon. 

Unity, the "Oik OS" tools, coded by Fernando Ramallo, Ableton, Money.

A little over two years.

Videogames already have a generic tendency to be operatic, and I wanted Oiκοςpiel  to riff on this - that engulfing quality which is the totality of the screen and sound system (outputs), the inputs, and the throughputs which hold it all together. I wanted to be able to accommodate any possible form that I could manage within the game - weaving them together was much of the difficulty and pleasure of working. 

If I could code, there would bits that feel more like TurboTax and Bloomberg Terminal in there, so there was this synthetic thing going on, piecing diverse components together, and then there was some kind of pun-warhammering going on, pitting the Pluarality of opera (which means, plurally, works) and dispersion of Form in a playful skirmish with the Unity of the development environment and the idea of Totality and coherence. So, there's also, on yet another scale, the attempt at Unionization in the plot, but also the scabby dog and Koch Games who want to prevent the union.

As an example of this process in action - a murky image of global warming, and the industry of its denial, inspires much of the game's dread. To "write" with this concept or mood, I select potent signs… e.g. GLOBALLY: the Earth, the biosphere, glowing coltan ore, the Epic scale, the north pole, travel, airplane, shipping container; WARMLY: the image of Heat, leads idea of Energy (en-ergos, means In Work), leads to the words of Wind turbines and oil pumpjacks.

With all of these keywords, I search the asset store and find these, and buy them. Thus, an image becomes a word becomes a commodity. And now in Unity, for example, with the wind turbine, which was first just a word, I attach the speed of its rotor to the mouse input scrubber, and it becomes a cyborg creature with the player, who assumes the allegorical role of Wind. And player, being Wind, e.g. Atmospheric- is thus considered the air which the dog breathes.

The internal mythology of the game expands in this way, constructing itself out of words, assets, mechanics, all treated 'flatly' as one substance. In general, the potency of imagery was something I was always keen to follow formally-intuitively, the chains of associations give rise to the 'shaggy dog tale' style.

I like to think of the game as a kind of instrument or animal, and the player is its external world, and the inputs are its various peripheral nerves or sense organs. The outputs are its voice and visible body, the song it sings and movement it dances as it experiences the world of the player's "breath", while the inner game topology is a kind of mentality or central nervous system holding the animal's experience all together. 

The game is a kind of bildungsroman about the life of this imaginary "animal", which is actually a piece of material software or musical instrument.

Mu Cartographer & Everything are both enchanting. Excited to dig into Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor & Quadrilateral Cowboy. Inside was really lovely and expensive!

Money of course! In Oiκοςpiel, Book I, everyone is aching to unionize except the loyal dogs. Really, though, I wonder - would indie devs ever collectively band together in a kind of Union-like? Obviously, classical unions are not designed for the kind of precarious freelance / boom / bust economy most indies are caught in, where people are constantly being employed by and employing each other, with ambiguous hierarchies, and no clear "boss"-- but some kind of imitation of the idea might work. Just as a little daydream… from the game, the GPU : General Precariat Union.. just for fun-.

Imagine, each member - and it's all types of devs, programmers, designers, artists, musicians, producers--pays some percentage of their annual earnings as union dues. It could be a flat rate or progressive, ultimately voted on by all members. Let's say 5%. It's an added expense, sure, but I'd guess possible to budget into expenses as a given. Compared to steam's 30% cut of sales (and for many devs, I imagine a large percentage of income is thru steam), it's not a whole lot.

And the idea of sharing money is not new in indie games - itch.io allows the developers to choose their percentage of a game's cut; humble bundles collectivize profits amongst a select group; recent game sales with 100% of profits going to ACLU and other organizations showcase the flexibility of game pricing and profit sharing. Game developers could be more nearly poised to try on some collectivism like this than other culture industries, which I think are not as familiar with the idea of a variable, the means by which collective sharing can be formalized and automated.

So, now, imagine, the GPU has come together, and everyone is potting 5% of their earnings into a collective bin. What next? How would the "union" money be spent? This should be voted on. And for instance, it could be split like this:

50 percent - Internal welfare 25 percent - External action 25 percent - Administration

I've put 50 percent towards that first category, because I imagine that a crucial purpose of the union would be as a mechanism of internal redistribution - that this might end up being the primary function, just like collective bargaining is for the classical union. The history of computer games has coincided with the history of neo-liberal economics - thus, the lack of a safety net has been perceived by many as a state of nature, as opposed to what it is - an explicit set of policy decisions functioning as instruments of ambient violence directed against the poor in order to help the rich grow richer. 

Our current US government is not about to better things in this regard - so it's an even greater reminder that it's time to step in at as big a scale as possible. Right now, some people are beautifully supportive about helping each other with Patreons, game-tippings, donations, kickstarters, etc. But these systems of aid are still hyper-individualized - person-to-person - and not adequate. Something more ambient is needed. 

The Union could step in, and walk the walk with all this "We love indie games!" patriotism, which doesn't recognize the dark underbelly of this love, which is so much love giving rise to so much concentrated wealth, on the one hand, and so much precarity, mental and physical illness, etc, on the other. It would step in, and play the part of the proto-nanny nurse state for the indie games world. Welfare would most likely take the form of basic cash assistance, although it would be great to help with health care and other such costs if that were practical. The 50% (or whatever) of union income could be netted out equally to all members, a la Universal Basic Income, or it could be inversely redistributed to members based on need. 

I would favor strong redistributive measures as an attempt at creating a safety net which ideally would allow game developers the freedom to practice their craft without its being always put to the service of pleasing the marketplace's whims. Thus, richer members would join the union at a loss of profit, but a gain of creative biodiversity (and yes, the top dogs benefit very much from this too-- it's more energy), while poorer members would hopefully join at a profit. The profit would be small, but perhaps an ambience of inter-class solidarity would be formalized to good effect? I believe many of those more well off who pay their dues into the union's pool would do so gladly, and understand this giving as a way to share gratitude for the kind of value indies are making off of the commons community effort. 

There is so much unpaid and underpaid labor which makes the game community the vital space that it is. Might even some scoundrels like Notch join in? He was a big supporter of Proteus early on, which I'm grateful for, even while his politics since becoming a tycoon have disappointed me very much. Although, did he support Bernie before he supported Trump, and he's not the only one - once ran into a man in a hot tub who did the same thing - he loves indie games -. Notch, would you join an indie game union that might help the form flourish? 

There is so much unpaid labor happening, because people love the work, and paying into a pool would be one way to express gratitude for that, and also a means of joining a community committed to rising up together. Also it would be a small measure of protection against future busts into precarity for even the more well off (who are always afraid of sliding back down).

Aside from the internal welfare, there would obviously be administrative costs. At a bare minimum, a regular voting period would need to be administered at regular intervals, which would probably be a fairly involved systems procedure. This would require a dynamic voting website (though maybe could be as easy as Google form?) and backend needing to be managed. There should be a forum for union members, where ideas for union action are proposed and discussed. I would encourage quarterly voting, as it could stimulate more regular interest amongst members in shaping union policy, and create an ambience of micro-political efficacy which wouldn't be lost in its ripple-out effects. Admin jobs would need to paid, as a matter of principle, as well as to get them done well. The union should be an attractive offer, and its forum a lively place to hang out.

The budget for "external action" would be determined by vote. This could be anything whatsoever. Events at GDC and other conferences, emergency/strike funds, "salt" training, protest sign-making, attorney hiring, even a stash of investments to grow union capital? Party? I imagine this forum of coming up with proposals would be quite a fun project. Again, it would be a little microcosm of the larger political theater, and a kind of training in a way, at least tuning in to a system which allows smaller voices to be heard.

Anyway, that's all just some dreaming, a bit of a D&D campaign of the imagination, but I would love to join something like this (hungry to be organized!), even if it ended up being a chapter of the UAW or something…

I do think material basic needs and free time and their shared symbolic medium MONEY are very clearly the biggest hurdles facing indie devs, as with people in general. And money is very interesting because it is an Ideal-Real, equal parts fiction and material. Check out this info-graphic.

It's tempting to think something must be either one or the other, fictive or real, but with money, that's not the case. And we live in a world conditioned by what Mark Fisher calls the "business ontology"-- which we could also call the ontology of money, one quirky feature of which is that the Real and the Fictional are intimately entangled.

No wonder people are trying to come to terms with "post-truth", "fake news", etc. The business ontology treats these flatly. In any case, I think one of the sad Real fictions attached to money is that each person is responsible for their own, and earns precisely what their merit deems them worthy of (if merit is defined by the market, this is tautological) -- I think a healthier Real fiction would recognize that money is an atmosphere that we breathe-- a commons constituted from a surplus of value generated by a huge community of devs-- and that it should be formalized and shared accordingly.

[trendingnewsb]

For 100 Days, I Illustrated People In Exchange For Their Secrets

I’m Terence Eduarte and I’m an illustrator from the Philippines. Every person has an interesting story to tell and I wanted to channel that into this project. I gathered a lot of silly secrets from friends and unexpected confessions from strangers around the world.

Here are some of them.

More info: Instagram | trnz.co

“I’m acting in a play where this guy has to act like he’s secretly in love with me. But when the play ends, we go back to real life where I’m secretly in love with him.”

“I sometimes feel alone even if I’m with friends. I feel like I’m just an add-on when we’re together.”

“I want to ask my half-sister if our estranged dad ever touched her back when they were living under the same roof. Or was I his only victim?”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I always check if my friends are doing well, but people rarely ask how I am.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“Half of my friends are people I wish I never met.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I created an imaginary friend as a coping mechanism for my depression. Now I want to make her disappear but she keeps coming back.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I told my unborn son I wasn’t ready to be loved by him. The next day I miscarried.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“It was my 28th birthday last week and no one remembered it. Not a single call or text from my friends and family. So I woke up the next day, sat outside my house and cried quietly. My dog came and started crying too. It was the most beautiful thing someone has ever done for me.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I like playing with other people’s feelings because i’m unsure about mine.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I’ve cheated on quite a few guys. And now that I’ve found the love of my life, he wasn’t ready for me. He was seeing me while he was seeing his ex. If there’s any way to portray Karma in its purest, most painful and justified form, this is it.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I burned the suicide note I wrote a month ago. Today is a good day.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I wrote letters to my girlfriend everyday. Everyday until her lung cancer took her away from me.”

Image credits: www.instagram.com

“I got drugged and raped by someone i knew and can’t get myself to tell anyone for fear of victim blaming. But on most days, i can’t help but victim blame myself.”

“Half of my friends are people I wish I never met.”

“I don’t like my close friends being close with other people.”

“I have a weird obsession with smelling the scent of paper and hearing the sound while flipping through the pages.”

“I can’t stand the ringing of bells. Every time I hear it, my heart beats faster. It reminds me of my mom’s voice and the bells on her keys that would ring every single time she comes home. God knows what she had done to me.”

“Everyone thinks I can drive but I just choose not to. The truth is, I never pass the test.”

“I fall in love too easily and terribly hard. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“I’m a perfectionist who isn’t perfect at all. It’s exhausting.”

“I contributed to my friends’ success and resent them for not including me once they became famous.”

“I was abused when I was 6 or 7. I can’t remember which age, but I remember what the abuser did. He drew naked figures, showed me where to touch, made me touch things… Things I don’t want to remember. I didn’t know it was wrong back then, but I’m grateful that it didn’t go any further. It left a big impact on me and I always blamed myself for it. I got OCD after that. My every action repeated, my daily routines repeated. I wash repeatedly, lock and unlock doors repeatedly, read my school books repeatedly. I repeat words 50 to 100 times till It satisfies me. It affected my life so much, and no one knew why. And no one knew why.”

“He is the love of my life but I found that out too late. Whenever there is snow, it reminds me of him.”

“It’s been two and a half years but I still can’t tell those around me that I am HIV positive. So instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I volunteer to help change the stigma around HIV.”

“One day, I came home from the university and my mother told me to cover up my legs in front of my friends. She didn’t want them to realize I had gained weight and she said she was just protecting me from gossip. The comment didn’t leave my mind and I’ve been bulimic ever since.”

“Many years ago, I was so broke that I stole a roll of toilet paper from my office.”

“I made up an entire part of my life. People believe some of the things actually happened, but really a lot of my stories are fake.”

“It sucks to feel unimportant. I know you shouldn’t really expect much from people but it hurts to see when they only come to you when they need something. They only remember me, not because of me, but for something they might gain.”

“I am generally thankful and happy about what I’ve got in my life. But I always feel like there is a black hole in my heart that no one would understand, some pain just won’t go away and I’m trying hard to live with it.”

“I haven’t been posting any photo with my face on it since last year. I feel better than ever.”

“I am constantly thinking about what other people think of me. And I don’t think that’s healthy.”

“Father’s day will always be the time of the year I’ll envy everybody for posting how great their dads are. I used to be sad about it but now, I think I accepted that he won’t be that hero and role model every father should be.”

“I buy stuff I can’t afford to make people believe I am someone who I am not. They see Prada and Burberry while my bank account is on the verge of ruining my life.”

“I’m in the military so I can’t be open about my suicidal thoughts. They constantly give you training on suicide prevention but they don’t get that once you make the decision to take your life nothing changes that decision unless you have true hope, and that’s my husband for me. I don’t think very many people out there have true hope.”

“I wanted to visit my grandmother in the hospital but it was a long walk and I got lazy. The next day, she passed away.”

“I am a journalist secretly dating a high-profile and controversial public official. If this gets out, I’m almost certain I’ll lose my job.”

“I dont have a twitter account but I still stalk him on twitter just to check how he’s doing. He seems to be doing fine. I’m not…”

“My father usually takes my milk after coming home drunk and suffering from stomach pain. One night, I said no to him to punish him for his drinking. A week later, he had a fatal accident after another drink. I really feel sorry for not offering my dad the milk that night.”

“I try my hardest to make people happy because I know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless. I don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”

“Although the nasty rumors that circulated about me were untrue, I don’t bother correcting them and let people think I’m not a virgin anymore. But the truth is, I haven’t even had my first kiss.”

“I don’t know what I want…”

“I’m on the album cover of my cheating, lying, sociopathic ex-boyfriend. I’m still wondering if I should be ashamed or proud.”

“I like to think the best of people but I actually think most humans are terrible.”

“I’ve posted photos and stories on social media to show people how interesting and colorful my life is. However, it’s just the total opposite.”

“I tell people my mom died from cancer when she actually died from cirrhosis due to alcoholism. I didn’t want people to think she was a horrible mother. We were close no matter how different the alcohol made her sometimes.”

“I’m always the one who gets left in a relationship. I thought I was okay. I try to convince myself that I am okay. But there are nights when I just have sudden breakdowns and I ask myself so many questions. Is something wrong with me… am I really not worth fighting for?”

“I overdo things and I constantly make myself the center of attention because I’m terrified of being forgotten.”

“I lost my smile a long time ago. Now I go everywhere hoping nobody will notice that this isn’t my smile anymore.”

“I was born into a culture that never accepted me. Born to an Arab father and a European mother; I am constantly fighting two sides of my identity. Anxiety and depression has completely taken over me.”

“I tell my close friends a lot of details about my relationship issues. I can never tell if they actually do care, or if they’re just pretending.”

“Sometimes I feel like I am a really abusive person that only use people for my own good. This scares me so much.”

“I think I’ll never find my other half because I have a hard time expressing and feeling love; it might sound weird but I would only feel love after watching films and series because of the beauty they hold.”

“Five years ago, I caught my third girlfriend cheating on me. That was the time I decided to have a boyfriend instead.”

“I got drugged and raped by someone i knew and can’t get myself to tell anyone for fear of victim blaming. But on most days, i can’t help but victim blame myself.”

“It’s been two years but I still think about my ex every day. It’s cliche and lame I know. I wish I had a better secret.”

“I am in love with my favorite singer that lives halfway across the world. I often write her letters and I’m hoping we can be friends one day.”

“My first relationship was a physically and emotionally abusive one. When that finally ended, it took me a while to get used to the idea that love can actually be expressed in ways other than what I have experienced.”

“I talk to myself everyday in the mirror to rehearse how my day would likely turn out. Unfortunately, it never turns out the way I planned.”

“I never learned how to swim. So I just tell people that I have chlorine allergy. It’s quite embarrassing.”

“To this day, only my boyfriend and I know that I was pregnant at age 18. Not even my poem on a bathroom door was interpreted correctly by strangers. The secret continues to be safe between us and the hotel room where it ended.”

“I’m so self-conscious that I can’t even go to the grocery without comparing myself to other women there.”

“My bipolar disorder is completely out of control. No one knows, because I’m good at being fine.”

“I got rejected by my friends because they think I’m gay. I tried telling them that I’m not but I’m starting to realize they might be right. I’m lost between myself and our friendship.”

“I’m ashamed that I take pleasure in my friends fighting with their partners. It makes me feel better about being perpetually single.”

“I’m ten years older than my sister but she’s marrying someone my age. I tell people I’m unhappy about the age difference, but I think the real reason is I might be jealous.”

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2vUcfFG via Viral News HQ

[symbianosgames]

This interview is part of our Road to the IGF series. You can find the rest by clicking here.

Oiκοςpiel, Book I is an opera in five acts, taking the player on a surreal journey of music, canine programmers, bear assassinations, unions, and a relationship between player and game world, breathing life into it through the manipulation of objects and sending their will to move through the computer.

Developer David Kanaga's heady, almost overwhelming work has earned him an IGF nomination for the Nuovo Award. Gamasutra sought him out to talk about the process of Oiκοςpiel, Book I's creation, and how that, and all are aspects, became a part of an extensive message told through imagery, interactivity, and sound.

I've been working with games for about 8 years. I'm probably best known for doing interactive music designs on projects such as Proteus (with Ed Key), Panoramical (with Fernando Ramallo, et al) and Dyad (w Shawn McGrath). My blog, wombflashforest, has some of my writings on musical game theory.  

Before working explicitly in the field, and as a kid loving games, I was brought up Zelda, Conker, group improv, Fruityloops, and D&D -- Josh Bothun, who coded the website, was the one to introduce me to game dev as a doable thing and got me into it! 

I'd always wanted to compose for a game in the AAA style. In late 2014, while working on Panoramical, Fernando Ramallo showed me the unity landscape sculpting tool and the unity asset store, and I realized it'd be possible to make my own Frankenstein-ian AAA game with these tools. 

I sculpted some landscapes, imagined different activities on the landscapes, and had a desire to run with a pack of dogs and to trigger a few things, including perspective shifts, between First, Second, Third person, etc. So, I bought the dogs and I hired Fernando to make the tools for triggering things, and he made these amazing scripts that after about a month of debugging together, basically never crashed for me again, which means I was able to write the game without coding and without running into fatal "bugs"-- a huge boon. 

Unity, the "Oik OS" tools, coded by Fernando Ramallo, Ableton, Money.

A little over two years.

Videogames already have a generic tendency to be operatic, and I wanted Oiκοςpiel  to riff on this - that engulfing quality which is the totality of the screen and sound system (outputs), the inputs, and the throughputs which hold it all together. I wanted to be able to accommodate any possible form that I could manage within the game - weaving them together was much of the difficulty and pleasure of working. 

If I could code, there would bits that feel more like TurboTax and Bloomberg Terminal in there, so there was this synthetic thing going on, piecing diverse components together, and then there was some kind of pun-warhammering going on, pitting the Pluarality of opera (which means, plurally, works) and dispersion of Form in a playful skirmish with the Unity of the development environment and the idea of Totality and coherence. So, there's also, on yet another scale, the attempt at Unionization in the plot, but also the scabby dog and Koch Games who want to prevent the union.

As an example of this process in action - a murky image of global warming, and the industry of its denial, inspires much of the game's dread. To "write" with this concept or mood, I select potent signs… e.g. GLOBALLY: the Earth, the biosphere, glowing coltan ore, the Epic scale, the north pole, travel, airplane, shipping container; WARMLY: the image of Heat, leads idea of Energy (en-ergos, means In Work), leads to the words of Wind turbines and oil pumpjacks.

With all of these keywords, I search the asset store and find these, and buy them. Thus, an image becomes a word becomes a commodity. And now in Unity, for example, with the wind turbine, which was first just a word, I attach the speed of its rotor to the mouse input scrubber, and it becomes a cyborg creature with the player, who assumes the allegorical role of Wind. And player, being Wind, e.g. Atmospheric- is thus considered the air which the dog breathes.

The internal mythology of the game expands in this way, constructing itself out of words, assets, mechanics, all treated 'flatly' as one substance. In general, the potency of imagery was something I was always keen to follow formally-intuitively, the chains of associations give rise to the 'shaggy dog tale' style.

I like to think of the game as a kind of instrument or animal, and the player is its external world, and the inputs are its various peripheral nerves or sense organs. The outputs are its voice and visible body, the song it sings and movement it dances as it experiences the world of the player's "breath", while the inner game topology is a kind of mentality or central nervous system holding the animal's experience all together. 

The game is a kind of bildungsroman about the life of this imaginary "animal", which is actually a piece of material software or musical instrument.

Mu Cartographer & Everything are both enchanting. Excited to dig into Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor & Quadrilateral Cowboy. Inside was really lovely and expensive!

Money of course! In Oiκοςpiel, Book I, everyone is aching to unionize except the loyal dogs. Really, though, I wonder - would indie devs ever collectively band together in a kind of Union-like? Obviously, classical unions are not designed for the kind of precarious freelance / boom / bust economy most indies are caught in, where people are constantly being employed by and employing each other, with ambiguous hierarchies, and no clear "boss"-- but some kind of imitation of the idea might work. Just as a little daydream… from the game, the GPU : General Precariat Union.. just for fun-.

Imagine, each member - and it's all types of devs, programmers, designers, artists, musicians, producers--pays some percentage of their annual earnings as union dues. It could be a flat rate or progressive, ultimately voted on by all members. Let's say 5%. It's an added expense, sure, but I'd guess possible to budget into expenses as a given. Compared to steam's 30% cut of sales (and for many devs, I imagine a large percentage of income is thru steam), it's not a whole lot.

And the idea of sharing money is not new in indie games - itch.io allows the developers to choose their percentage of a game's cut; humble bundles collectivize profits amongst a select group; recent game sales with 100% of profits going to ACLU and other organizations showcase the flexibility of game pricing and profit sharing. Game developers could be more nearly poised to try on some collectivism like this than other culture industries, which I think are not as familiar with the idea of a variable, the means by which collective sharing can be formalized and automated.

So, now, imagine, the GPU has come together, and everyone is potting 5% of their earnings into a collective bin. What next? How would the "union" money be spent? This should be voted on. And for instance, it could be split like this:

50 percent - Internal welfare 25 percent - External action 25 percent - Administration

I've put 50 percent towards that first category, because I imagine that a crucial purpose of the union would be as a mechanism of internal redistribution - that this might end up being the primary function, just like collective bargaining is for the classical union. The history of computer games has coincided with the history of neo-liberal economics - thus, the lack of a safety net has been perceived by many as a state of nature, as opposed to what it is - an explicit set of policy decisions functioning as instruments of ambient violence directed against the poor in order to help the rich grow richer. 

Our current US government is not about to better things in this regard - so it's an even greater reminder that it's time to step in at as big a scale as possible. Right now, some people are beautifully supportive about helping each other with Patreons, game-tippings, donations, kickstarters, etc. But these systems of aid are still hyper-individualized - person-to-person - and not adequate. Something more ambient is needed. 

The Union could step in, and walk the walk with all this "We love indie games!" patriotism, which doesn't recognize the dark underbelly of this love, which is so much love giving rise to so much concentrated wealth, on the one hand, and so much precarity, mental and physical illness, etc, on the other. It would step in, and play the part of the proto-nanny nurse state for the indie games world. Welfare would most likely take the form of basic cash assistance, although it would be great to help with health care and other such costs if that were practical. The 50% (or whatever) of union income could be netted out equally to all members, a la Universal Basic Income, or it could be inversely redistributed to members based on need. 

I would favor strong redistributive measures as an attempt at creating a safety net which ideally would allow game developers the freedom to practice their craft without its being always put to the service of pleasing the marketplace's whims. Thus, richer members would join the union at a loss of profit, but a gain of creative biodiversity (and yes, the top dogs benefit very much from this too-- it's more energy), while poorer members would hopefully join at a profit. The profit would be small, but perhaps an ambience of inter-class solidarity would be formalized to good effect? I believe many of those more well off who pay their dues into the union's pool would do so gladly, and understand this giving as a way to share gratitude for the kind of value indies are making off of the commons community effort. 

There is so much unpaid and underpaid labor which makes the game community the vital space that it is. Might even some scoundrels like Notch join in? He was a big supporter of Proteus early on, which I'm grateful for, even while his politics since becoming a tycoon have disappointed me very much. Although, did he support Bernie before he supported Trump, and he's not the only one - once ran into a man in a hot tub who did the same thing - he loves indie games -. Notch, would you join an indie game union that might help the form flourish? 

There is so much unpaid labor happening, because people love the work, and paying into a pool would be one way to express gratitude for that, and also a means of joining a community committed to rising up together. Also it would be a small measure of protection against future busts into precarity for even the more well off (who are always afraid of sliding back down).

Aside from the internal welfare, there would obviously be administrative costs. At a bare minimum, a regular voting period would need to be administered at regular intervals, which would probably be a fairly involved systems procedure. This would require a dynamic voting website (though maybe could be as easy as Google form?) and backend needing to be managed. There should be a forum for union members, where ideas for union action are proposed and discussed. I would encourage quarterly voting, as it could stimulate more regular interest amongst members in shaping union policy, and create an ambience of micro-political efficacy which wouldn't be lost in its ripple-out effects. Admin jobs would need to paid, as a matter of principle, as well as to get them done well. The union should be an attractive offer, and its forum a lively place to hang out.

The budget for "external action" would be determined by vote. This could be anything whatsoever. Events at GDC and other conferences, emergency/strike funds, "salt" training, protest sign-making, attorney hiring, even a stash of investments to grow union capital? Party? I imagine this forum of coming up with proposals would be quite a fun project. Again, it would be a little microcosm of the larger political theater, and a kind of training in a way, at least tuning in to a system which allows smaller voices to be heard.

Anyway, that's all just some dreaming, a bit of a D&D campaign of the imagination, but I would love to join something like this (hungry to be organized!), even if it ended up being a chapter of the UAW or something…

I do think material basic needs and free time and their shared symbolic medium MONEY are very clearly the biggest hurdles facing indie devs, as with people in general. And money is very interesting because it is an Ideal-Real, equal parts fiction and material. Check out this info-graphic.

It's tempting to think something must be either one or the other, fictive or real, but with money, that's not the case. And we live in a world conditioned by what Mark Fisher calls the "business ontology"-- which we could also call the ontology of money, one quirky feature of which is that the Real and the Fictional are intimately entangled.

No wonder people are trying to come to terms with "post-truth", "fake news", etc. The business ontology treats these flatly. In any case, I think one of the sad Real fictions attached to money is that each person is responsible for their own, and earns precisely what their merit deems them worthy of (if merit is defined by the market, this is tautological) -- I think a healthier Real fiction would recognize that money is an atmosphere that we breathe-- a commons constituted from a surplus of value generated by a huge community of devs-- and that it should be formalized and shared accordingly.