#and i have the urge to make it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
What no sleep does to the brain
#enstars#ensemble stars#madara mikejima#my art#wip#i had too much fun with his hair#im so tired man#i want sleep#but work ;;#also procrastination#been insane for 4? 5? days already#need to draw him again#he can somehow magically break my art block#screaming crying throwing up#ive been thinking about something for mdkr#and i have the urge to make it
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
#i know this sounds like the 'bad guy falls for good guy' which can be fun but thats not what i mean#anyway. this wasn't quite zukka but i do think it aligns with my au of zuko not dying on the throne and sokka retiring his sword to paint#and living like piandao in the mountains. urging zuko to retire and zuko no longer needing fire bending and not knowing what to do with#himself if he doesnt have to fight#so he uses his bending to make tea instead :)#aka this is how divorced zukka can still get together#zuko being upset bc sokka chose work over them in the first place but so dodnhe#but he gets a second chance in retirement#if he can give it up
23K notes
·
View notes
Text
“…humming a tune.”
I am very unwell about alternate Leo.
(Song: 'Dream Sweet in Sea Major' by Miracle Musical)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#tmnt 40th anniversary#rise comic spoilers#listen this will not leave my brain#time dilation or no he was actively aware and being physically teleported to all over the universe#‘bouncing around’#months went by without him im sobbing#I have not slept all night I could not fight the urge to quickly sketch this out haha#bringing back my narinder pencil style for whenever I want to make it quick haha#turtle art tag#it was really fun drawing the planets haha funky mishappen shapes to emphasize the wrongness
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
so how about that durge
#tw blood#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#halsin silverbough#the dark urge#durgestarion#if you know the song we can kiss on the mouth#this is ashe he’s a terrible creature#the bardiest bard to ever bard who makes astarion look SUNKISSED#he really said ‘if i have to be murder incarnate i should at least do it with style and panache’#my guy killed an elder brain and several gods in heels and corseted to hell#fun fact: before i played durge. didn't know about the bhaalspawn thing#accidentally made the most bhaalspawn looking fuck i possibly could
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
blood circulation? never heard of her. *i put on a bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put-*
#kandi bracelet#kandi#bracelets#lio does a talk#i have so many bracelets and they all make jingly noises#you ever get the urge to eat kandi#or is it just me#kandi bracelet struggles#scene kid#i feel as if this joke has been made before
729 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having this kink is so funny because You will have a crush on someone and think they are soooooo fucking hot and they will stand there and tell you that they are insecure about their body and you will have to do the equivalent of locking your brain in a straitjacket to formulate a response that sounds supportive and socially acceptable when the reality is that you would commit atrocities just to kiss their stomach ONCE. That, if given the opportunity, you would worship them like they were royalty. And you would do this in both a non-kinky way because you love them and think they are beautiful and wish that they could see themself the way you see them but also in the kinky way where it feels like there’s a feral dog inside of you that wants to sink it’s teeth into the softness of them and never let go. You have to stand there and think to yourself “you have no idea the things I would do to you. You have no idea just how desirable you are.” And it’s honestly unbearable !!!!!
#‘I need to lose weight :(‘ NO!!! YOU NEED TO LET ME MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE TO YOU!!!!#babygirl I will Pavlov self love into you in ways you’ve never imagined#wg text#soft feedism#idk does this make sense. the overwhelming urge to grab someone and shake them and be like#‘the fact that you have no idea what you do to me just by existing is so upsetting. I wish you could see you from my eyes.’
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I trust you won't kill me.
and if you do, then I've gotten sloppy and probably have it coming.
🔗Twitter
#less bloody ver#astarion x durge#bg3 patch 7#tbh its not thatt bloody#but some platform wouldnt allow#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#astarion bg3#dark urge#bg3 durge#durgestarion#redrawed a little bit#i thought i could make it to knife falling off Astarion’s hand#part in the past 2 weeks#it’s like a#“he hesitated she did not’#but I was busy with commission works ahh#you have a type don't you?
802 notes
·
View notes
Text
me and the Girlies (gn) about to make some objectively fucking terrible decisions in DATV:
#i have an terrible urge to make the worst choices possible right away just to see how bad it can get#like ripping off a bandaid or setting a bone#just fuck me up#i can feel better after#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#DA4#DA:V#DA:TV#solas#solavellan#egg disaster#p.s. don't nightblog or you'll put words in the wrong order
851 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Hector was a good man" "diomedes was an honorable man" BZZZT WRONG. Diomedes was there to steal, burn, and wage war same as the next person. In fact, he was pretty adamant about it. Hector had no issue with the greek's actions, merely that they were directed at him—I mean look at what he wanted to do with patroclus's body, only to then cite respect for funeral rites when it was his own turn to die. Hector also owned slaves within his own city walls—people that he likely took from their homes during troy's own conquests. All that seperated him and the greek warriors was which side they were on.
The Iliad isn't a story about morally upstanding men. Sure, it has men who have honor and perform honorable acts, but these are not good samaritans. It's is a story about war and grief and the real victims of fights between so-called-honorable men and gods. The urge to find a "good guy" in this story is wasted. Hector doesn't have to be morally good just because achilles isn't. Troy didn't lose because they were more or less evil than the greeks. It all just. Is. Because of fate? Because the gods said so? Because people will always make disastrous mistakes and it will always end up biting not only them, but everyone else around them? Who knows? In the end though, doesn't it all feel so pointless in the face of the endless amounts of grief and destruction that war leaves behind? Maybe that's the whole point
#who knows if thats the point homer wanted to make#but with our modern lens#thats the lesson that is the takeaway#the urge to create a good and a bad side is useless here#hector being a loving father doesnt change that hes a warrior#in a city state that came to power by trampling and enslaving surrounding regions#diomedes being obedient to athena and brave to a fault doesn't absolve him from the acts of the greeks of which he was a willing participan#its not about good vs evil#its about greeks vs trojans#and about how pointless that really is#achilles#hector#diomedes#the iliad#homer#the song of achilles#odysseus#agamemnon#hector of troy#diomedes of argos#all that being said#despite achilles being my fave i tend to see the trojans side more#they r dirty little conquerors same as the greeks BUT in this instance they are the defenders so I have some sympathy for them#greek mythology
513 notes
·
View notes
Text
been thinking about minish cap a lot recently
[IMD ID: A stylized version of Link from Legend of Zelda Minish Cap incorporating more minish-like clothing, with Ezlo looking more like a bird. Image 1 features a minish sized Link in a forest looking confused at a map. While the 2nd image features Ezlo yelling 'IDIOT' at link in a simplified chibi style. /END ID]
#saw the gdq run and i was like ah. i remember her#got the urge to draw loz stuff but not the correct one oh well! i have a totk wip but thats down the line#legend of zelda#minish cap#link#myart#i also tried to make him match vaati more a bit#i like vaati
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
450 notes
·
View notes
Text
the voices have won 😔🐍 help me
#i HATE him (affectionate)#the urge to make ship art is unreal rn#but i have to be. patient#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#-✦—]
466 notes
·
View notes
Text
The only things I managed to doodle in between Artfight attacks lmao (I only draw anthros because of it, and it's fun,, I'm not a furry lol but I love anthro charas)
#fanart#art#doodle#metal gear#metal gear fanart#metal gear solid#mgs#mgs fanart#otacon#solid snake#hal emmerich#otasune#snotacon#these two poor doodles are so stupid#I have this urge to draw Kaz next cause I love him a lil too much#but Otasune makes me happy too
495 notes
·
View notes
Text
bnounnies....
[ clover crown au ]
#rottmnt#rottmnt oc#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#save rottmnt#rottmnt au#tmnt#tmnt 2k18#tmnt 2018#rottmnt original character#i am resisting the urge to make a masterpost for them coz then ill have to admit what ive done#(made another au)#fidgetwing#clover crown#hehehehehe bnunny babbits....#the supporting cast#i should have put leo in there for scale smh#brownie points to anyone who figures out the naming scheme u w u
672 notes
·
View notes
Text
jason todd is a thick thigh and chubby tummy lover. i will not be accepting any criticism
#oh the feminine urge to make totally self indulgent fics with blatantly chubby fem!reader and her man#like something dc centric bc i think that’s why most people follow me even though y’all have been a lil neglected recently ):#maybe something for jjk. like toji/gojo/choso specifically#and if i’m feeling extra cringe. ticci toby.#. . . katy’s ramblings 🪐#. . . dc 💭#. . . jason todd 💭#jason todd x reader
414 notes
·
View notes