#lio does a talk

[anunwelcomedspirit]

blood circulation? never heard of her. *i put on a bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put on another bracelet, i put-*

[anunwelcomedspirit]

gasp! i have central heterochromia!! i love seeing it on characters :D

more characters with heterochromia. fuck it. it’s no longer ‘cringe’ to give your OCs two different eye colours it’s actually extremely cool and fun and sometimes extremely sexy. godspeed

[hauntedtotem]

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

[seraphicghost]

i cant come up with a phrase for kurogiri valentines day thing so we are at a tie for ‘im on cloud nine’ or ‘without you i’d be crushed’ LOL

which is better

[cawsceries]

your ocs 🔫 tell me everything and anything you wanna share

HI CRYPT i have a lot :]

so i have four main guys with an actual storyline (avry arlo rass rocks). technically five but the fifth doesn't have a name yet so we're not talking about her. and then i have funky little guys (moth, some other clones who i havent posted, and my newest guys cobra and lio!!)

avry is in her early twenties! she was knighted roughly a month before the clone wars began and wasn't supposed to lead a battalion at first. the jedi master who was going to lead the 409th battalion was several weeks away from kamino as the clone wars started, though, and avry was temporarily assigned to the 409th because she's closer and there isn't time to wait.

this temporary assignment is when she first met arlo, who at the time was a captain. in their third or fourth battle, the LAAT/i that was carrying arlo was shot down and his helmet was knocked off in the crash. avry lifted the rubble of the LAAT/i off of the survivors of the crash using the force-- if she hadn't been there, arlo probably would've bled out from his head injury before anyone managed to get to him.

shortly after this, the jedi master in charge of the 409th finally arrives! she's an older rodian training her second padawan, rass. she and avry's master are padawan siblings. avry leaves the 409th in the jedi master's capable hands and is assigned on several small relief missions.

of course, a few months later the 409th has an encounter with general grievous. the jedi master does not survive, but she does make sure rass will make it out alive.

avry is in the area, so she returns to the 409th. rass is supposed to go back to the jedi temple but they can't fathom leaving all of the clones they've befriended and fought beside-- they've already lost their master. so avry (impulsively) offers to take rass on as her own padawan.

and. well. this solves some problems. this also creates more problems. avry is already absolutely terrified about being responsible for a battalion. now she's also responsible for rass as well, who's basically her little sibling. she's not prepared for either of these things, but she's good enough at faking it so she's not going to think about it too much because she might break down and there isn't time for that. she can process everything when the war is over and everything goes back to normal.

she's very good at convincing herself that things will go back to normal.

arlo is doing better overall-- he's been promoted to commander (the original commander died a few weeks after avry left). he has a lot of confidence in avry. between avry saving his life early on, and the jedi master's competence and poise, he's a little ridiculously loyal to the jedi.

he's also a little bit blind to avry's flaws.

hold on. about arlo's pronouns: she is not thinking about her gender in universe until pretty late in the clone wars. i swap between she and he because she will end up using she/he pronouns.

rass meets rocks when their first master is still alive, while scouting out a droid factory. rass is leading rocks' squad and there are droids coming their direction. rass asks the clones if any of them have something that rass can throw to distract the droids. rocks hands over a rock. a few minutes later rass asks for another object. rocks hands over another rock. he has at least ten more.

rass nearly compromises the mission by laughing at the fifth rock produced. after this rass and rocks are inseparable. rocks, who is about an inch and a half shorter than the average clone, is delighted that he's no longer the shortest person he knows.

rass and rocks are my beloveds i love them dearly.

i also have a fair amount of info about avry here and some assorted info about all of these guys here

beyond my "main" four, i have moth (can be summed up by this and this) and cobra (very new guy. hes living his best life. having an affair with lio.) and lio (full name lio veniid. senator. a bit pretentious. not very significant politically. extremely disappointed by cobra's lack of appreciation for wine, has made it his goal in life to change this. its not working very well so far but they're both having a great time)

also fun fact: i have a curse in which i am incapable of drawing arlo's scar correct on any full piece. it's on the left side of her head. (forgot it) (flipped the canvas too many times)

[anunwelcomedspirit]

the bouy !! :3 i hope you’re able to feel better eventually /gen

will somebody draw my teddy bear im very low on mood and spoons today and i think it would make me a bit happier

there he is. my bouy.

his name is big ted and my nana bought him for me on my 1st birthday :3

[kerakitty]

I find the fact that Hugo seems to be far more likely to ascribe ulterior motives to Wolf than to Kipo to be incredibly funny.

In 'All That Glitters', while Kipo is definitely doing it all out of love, everything Kipo does is an attempt to guide him towards her ideal outcome. And yet Hugo takes her at her word every time she insists otherwise. This despite her proving herself capable of outmaneuvering him (telegraphing her contingency plan in doing so) with her secret farmer rebellion in Corndog King. She played him like a fiddle in season 2 and yet in season 3 he still seems to be operating under the idea that she's too naive to ever be plotting anything behind anyone's back.

Meanwhile, Wolf is never anything but straight-forward in achieving her goals. She's consistently blunt in her methods and reasoning, yet Hugo is constantly looking for the hidden angle (that just isn't there). In 'Prahmises' he immediately assumes that Wolf tracked him down in order to interfere with his plan to assassinate Dr Emilia and is initially skeptical when she says otherwise.

All this is especially hilarious because Kipo's not even subtle. Like, at all. Like I pointed out earlier: she essentially revealed her back-up plan to Hugo while they played Corndog King and it just sailed past his radar. On the other hand, everyone else has always known that Kipo's kind actions, while genuine, are also part of Kipo's plan to bring about world peace. They just go along with it, usually because they know that trying to talk her out of it won't work. Wolf, Lio, Benson, even Dr Emilia, they all know Kipo's scheming. Hugo's the only one who somehow keeps missing the memo.

[junabyclairo]

Hi love, I saw you're taking Lip's requests... so here I am😅

So, I got this idea about the reader being quite shy. She's friends with either Liam or Fiona (but she's the same age as Lip) and one evening she's insistingly invited (which is a kind way to say dragged) to the house for dinner and there she meets Lio, who just can't stop flirting with her, making her blush and all of that. Then he overhears her talking to Liam/Fiona who, having noticed his flirting, teases the reader about it, but reader just tries to dismiss it, because she thinks he's doesn't mean it, so Lip makes it his mission to prove he's serious... does it make sense? I hope so 😅😅

I hope you're having a good day!!!

hiiii i'm so sorry this took so long for me to answer just haven't been able to really think of anything good to continue this on! also let's pretend lip didn't know ian was gay for awhile!!!

being friends with ian gallagher means a lot of things. including, having to deal with his family. after going over to the gallagher a few times you've gotten about as used to them as someone like you - extremely shy and timid around people - can.

"please just come over for dinner, your parents said they won't mind-"

"ian please do i have to?"

"fiona's making enough for all of us, including you just please stay for dinner." you huffed at him while crossing your arms and staring at the floor.

"fine, i'll come over for dinner." you mumbled.

"hey, who are you? are you lost?" a voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

"hm? no i'm with ian," you turned around and looked around to find him after he left you in the living room.

"with ian? you're way too pretty to be with ian-"

"no no not with ian he just dragged me here for dinner."

"oh did he?" he smirked at you.

"yeah, he did." you breathed out.

"hm." he went to brush off a piece of hair off your face and brushed past you on his way up the stairs, leaving you blushing like a lovesick mess.

"was lip flirting with you?" fiona asked as soon as you walked into the kitchen.

"yeah i think so." you breathed out, feeling lighter than you did before.

"but he probably didn't mean it though, did he?" you said mostly to yourself. there's almost no chance that he could like someone like you... right?

after dinner, ian lead you up the stairs into his room and told you to wait until after he took a shower and then he'd walk you home. while you were waiting lip came in saying,

"you know i meant it when i said you were pretty, right?" he stared at you from in front of the door.

"arent you dating karen?" you blurted out.

"we're not dating per se. just fucking."

"...oh."

"but i still meant it when i said you were pretty. because you are."

"stop saying that."

"why should i?" he challenged.

"because i know you're just trying to get in my pants."

"says who?" he says after a beat of silence.

"how about i take you for a walk in the park this weekend and i'll prove it to you, okay?"

"...fine, okay."

"thank you pretty girl." he kissed your forehead before he left.

[junkdrawernoggin]

Soooo I feel like people are going to want to praise this as like the best TV show that’s ever been made just because it has Markiplier, so I want to get my opinion out now. Spoilers ahead

Edge of Sleep (TV) is fucking terrible

I mean, I watched it because I want Mark to be successful, but holy shit. That was the worst TV show I have ever willingly watched.

The pilot is fucking atrocious. The writing was abysmal to the point of being embarrassed that the actors had to perform it.

Mark in the first episode…not good. Middle section was okay to good. Final episode was bananas but the acting was good.

Not a single human person has ever acted the way some of these characters act. There is not a planet where the character of Dave and the character of Matteo, as we see them for the rest of the show, would make the choice to randomly abandon their jobs. I have no idea what age the show thinks any of the characters are. They talk about the party at the beginning like they are a max of 25, but then the rest of the show makes them out to be in their 30s.

Thinking about anything that occurs for a single moment makes your head hurt. They are pictured to be in a pretty big city. Yet Linda says they have ONE hospital in 30 miles. Also thousands and thousands of people work night shift, so the idea that there are 5 survivors, 3 of whom know each other, is the wackiest shit of all time. They hype up the medication and then that comes to literally nothing but renewal bait, and I guarantee this will not be renewed even if it reaches no. 1

Everything that comes out of Dave/Mark’s mouth about the “elephant monster” and “dream people” is goofy as fuck (not his fault). They seriously couldn’t come up with a better name? Seriously?? Even just “The Elephant” would’ve been better. Why the fuck did they make them fly to an island 17 hours away??? First, a private jet that small would under no circumstance be able to do that flight without refueling. But like, WRITERS YOU CONTROL THE SCRIPT MY GUYS. If you are gonna make up a mystical island, have it be randomly off the west coast or something. I also can say with 100% certainty that Matteo being a veteran was added at the absolute last minute. It does not jive with literally anything else about his character. They only added it because they needed a reason someone would know how to fly a plane.

Just imagine trying to pitch this show!

“Hey Boss, great tv show concept for you. So this guy Dave, he has really bad nightmares. Everyone around him starts dying from going to sleep. So he goes to sleep to commune with the dream people and talk about the elephant man who’s haunting him. This leads him and 4 other survivors to take a private jet 17 hours away after 50 hours of not sleeping. After his psychic battle with the elephant monster, it’s revealed he’s a chosen one to fight in the battle against the nightmare monsters.”

HOW ON EARTH DID THIS GET GREENLIT??

My final negative note is everyone’s names. Dave, Ruth, Linda, Matteo, and Katie. It feels like they put in stock names and forgot to change them. I do not know a single person under the age of 40 who is a “Dave” or a “Ruth”, certainly not a “Linda.” It just soundsweird. Each name on its own is fine, but all together they sound very cookie cutter

Okay my couple of positives

I thought the dynamic between Katie and Dave was good. I wish Katie got more of a personality than recovering addict, but her actress, Lio Tipton, did a great job.

Eve Harlow as Linda was probably the standout of the film acting wise. She was pretty believable all things considered.

I thought some of the visuals were really cool, and the little pill mascot was well animated.

I wish I could give more praise to Mark but he got the REALLY short end of the stick when it came to the script. He was stuck with most of the clunky exposition. His physical acting was really fantastic and he should be proud of that. His acting ticks are great. If he didn’t have to deliver the script, his acting performance in here would be on par with Eve Harlow.

Edit: Adding a little note that I completely forgot this was a podcast first. I have never watched it but I will ASAP because I want to see if it’s any better.

[anunwelcomedspirit]

ARE YOU ELIOTT

am i? am i not?

[xiii-e]

for Xie i hop u have a good day

for Lio...

i read wut you said. im gald i dint make things worse. sometimes i do that by accident

i didnt know i could hate HA anymore than i already did. i know its how hard it is for a regular person to get through there stupid bullshit program first hand, so i can only imagine how hard it is when they bake that shit into ur jeans or whatever.

HA made me a monster. they trained me and they changed me 2 be 1. i talked about what an enkidu does to u last night on another post... they filled me up with so many stims i could barely think most of the time, and they yelled at me wen i did anything other than kill for them.

im still the monster they turned me into. my BATTLERAGE never left. when i go too long without TEARING shit apart with SLAG KITTY i start to lose it. the stinging in my head starts again and it gets itchy and angry in my head. i MAUL because i have to and its a part of waht i am.

but that isnt all i am anymore. since the fuckers left me 2 die better people helped me learn to be a person again. I hav friends now and i liek exploring places and i think grils r like really really really pretty... im a whole person and im not just the part me they made.

I think Xie will always be a medic. their instinct to help people and make them stop hurting is baked in. but ive seen other parts of them too and theyre parts i really like. i think those parts will grow. specially once you manage to get them out of ther. i know you already know this, but i think itll maybe help to know that some1 else knows it 2

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

◂▸ Hey Sally- Xie's doing better than they were, having some quiet time in their room. They had a rough dream over their nap, head's giving them trouble, but! They're doing better now. They say hi :]

◂▸ ... yeah, you're not wrong there kiddo. Programming and conditioning can fuck with anyones head, but part of why they do these high-control Projects with us flashclones in the first place is because it's just- easier. No outside experiences to influence your subject, no family or history just... whatever you designed, floating in a tube. It's more expensive to custom-build a soldier than to just use fascimiles or vulnerable citizenship, but the payoff is the control. 'Specially if you bake in some behavioural quirks that back up what you wanna do. A predisposition toward anxiety, for instance. Uncontrolled empathy. Aggression, in some of the earlier models.

◂▸ Remove the ability to play god and fuck with someones genes directly and- yeah, stims. That horror show the Enkidu puts you through. I'm sorry they did that to you kiddo, they had no fucking right to- you already know that too but, likewise. Someone else knows that too. I don't think you're a monster, I think you're dealing the best you can with a problem you never should have been forced to deal with. They made it so the only positive association you got for years, was with violence. Course that's gonna be near impossible to kick entirely.

◂▸ ... makes me real happy to hear you talk about the parts of yourself you found after you got out, kiddo. Sounds like you understand stuff better than a lot of folk out there, and that- that probably comes from experience. You happy out there? You mention people helped you learn to be a person, after HA abandoned you in the field, mention you have friends now. That's real good to hear about. People who get it make everything managable, I think. You're a good person to know, Sally- I'm real glad you and Xie got talking. I know they're happy bout it too.

◂▸ I- I really hope I can get them out of here, one day. That's the first challenge, isn't it? Hope I can be there to see who they find within themself, once the job isn't bleeding them dry. Hope you'll be there to see it too. They'll always be the kind of person to put their own needs last, always be succeptable to that guilt they've been wired with... but I think that'll be managable. Once they've got people who don't want to see them hurt. People who can actually do something about it.

◂▸ Thanks kiddo. Just let me know if you ever wanna talk, yeah? I've got some experience helping folk deal with the quirks conditioning can leave you with. You have anything along the lines of a chewtoy? Can help with minor aggression impulses sometimes, having something to tear at.

[ Helios-8 ]

//

[ladylooch]

The Spiral [Lio Meier] - Part 4

A/N: One more part after this! things are starting to turn around for our Lio 🤭

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: allergic reaction, lots of medical talk, angst, childhood trauma themes

ICYMI Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

The morning after his concussion, Lio thinks it would have been better to have been crushed by a garbage truck. His head hurts so bad, worse than any hangover headache or migraine he’s had in his life. But worse than that is the fog that has settled into his brain. Details of last night are fuzzy- the game, Lucie, their conversation. He thinks things are better, but is worried about facing her this morning.

He rolls over to his back, tentatively opening his eyes. The world doesn’t swirl like it had been last night. But he feels like the front of his forehead is going to explode off from the pressure. Is that normal? Fuck.

Slowly, Lio adjusts his position to sit up. The smell of something baking hits his nose. He smiles. Lucie is still here. It takes awhile before Lio can get out of bed, changed, and hit the bathroom. By the time he is done with that, he feels like he could go back to sleep. Instead, he drags himself towards the kitchen. Lucie is at the stove, a large stack of pancakes to her left. As he gets closer, he can see the rainbow sprinkles poking out of the cakes.

“Lucie pancakes.” He chuckles, approaching her.

“They still hit even as an adult.” She shrugs.

“Doesn’t Stell think these are her creation?”

“Yeah because of her dad.” Lucie rolls her eyes. “Connor thinks she created everything, even though I made these all the time when I was pregnant with her.”

“So he thinks because she was there, she made them?”

“He thinks she created the craving for me, so it’s from her.” 

“Your mom could set that straight.”

“Mmm, I don’t think anyone can set that man straight about his sweet girl.” Lucie takes off two more pancakes. “Sit down and eat. You look awful.”

“Thanks.” Lio mumbles, resting his head delicately in his palm. He sets his elbow on the counter watching as Lucie slaps two pancakes on his plate. “Still hate syrup?”

“Yep.” Lio confirms, picking up his fork to cut into a pancake.

“I heard from Ben. He wanted you to check in when you got up.” Lio nods, grabbing his phone.

While he eats small bites, him and Ben talk about how Lio is feeling. Ben is concerned about the intensity of Lio’s headache. He wants him to go to the hospital for a CT scan. 

“Can you send a car? Lucie needs to go home to her family.” 

“No, I can take you.” She says, waving away his worries. “Con is taking Stell to the rink for practice. She is loving her mommy-free life right now.” Ben and Lio chat more. The team doctor is going to meet them at the hospital and they will know more after the imaging is processed.

Lucie and Lio finish breakfast, then head into Newark. Lucie waits while Lio is being scanned and afterwards while they wait for the radiologist to do a quick read. Everything looks good. Lio’s brain isn’t showing any damage, but he does have one hell of a concussion. The news is good. Lio feels like he can breathe and be more at peace with where he is at.

“You’re going to have to take it easy.” The doctor reminds him. “At least two weeks before you do any exercise.” Lio agrees. He can’t imagine getting on the ice right now with how shitty he feels.

“Is it okay if I drop you off and head out?” Lucie asks Lio when they are back in the car. “Connor is going to the Children’s Hospital to see some of his kiddos. I need to get home before he leaves again.” 

“Yeah, I will be fine. Thank you for staying with me. And.. um tell Connor thanks too. I appreciate it. Know he isn’t my biggest fan.”

Lucie drops Lio in front of his building, then heads back towards her city. Lio’s doorman greets him warmly, opening the big door for him.

“Thanks, Charlie.” 

“Tough one last night, Mr. Meier.”

“Hey, boys pulled out the win tho.” Lio waves as he walks through.

“Your mama is waiting for you in your apartment. She was mighty frazzled this morning.” Lio stops in his tracks. There are two people who have unlimited access to his apartment besides him. One just dropped him off. The other lives in Switzerland. 

“Ah, thanks. Moms…” Lio trails off with a shrug. 

Lio seriously contemplates sprinting out of his building. Doctor’s orders be damned. The only woman to ever love him unconditionally is upstairs and he is not ready to face her. Not ready to see her after the horrible things he said to her. Not ready to face his own shame and self-hatred. It’s why he left Switzerland without seeing her even after telling his dad he wouldn’t do that. He doesn’t deserve her or her love. 

But she is here. Already. He knows how many hoops she must have jumped through to get to him. He senses his dad’s involvement as well. The strings Timo Meier would have pulled for her are unlimited. So Lio Meier gets into the elevator and rises the 6 floors to his awaiting fate. Outside his apartment door, he takes a deep breath, then puts his key in the lock. He pushes the door open, not seeing her on the couch like he expected. 

“Mama?” He calls into the apartment. 

“Lee?” He hears her call from deep inside. She comes rushing out of his room. With zero hesitation, she grabs him and wraps him into her body for a hug. “Oh” She sighs, holding his head against hers. She sucks in a deep breath then lets out a relieved sigh at having him close to her. “Are you okay?” Her brown eyes are deeply pained. Lio closes his eyes, unable to see more. 

“Um, well, I guess but also no. What are you doing?”

“Your laundry.”

“Of course.” He chuckles, shaking his head. He has been grown for awhile, but she still insists on taking care of him. It makes Lio less worried for whatever is to come.

“Well, I was very anxious waiting for you. I had to do something.” She insists, waving a hand in front of her face. “Now, go sit down. I have lemon water, hot oatmeal and toast ready for you.” She gently guides him forward. “And vitamins. You need extra nutrients to get better.”

“Mama.” Lio sighs when she turns to head back to the kitchen. He feels like such a piece of shit with how she is jumping right in to take care of him. The undeserving suffocates him, tightening his throat until he struggles to breathe. “Don’t do this.” He finally chokes out. “Don’t double down and love me harder right now.”

“Lee.” Emma comes back to him, putting her hands on his cheeks. She kisses his forehead, right over where his head aches so badly. “I am never going to stop loving you hard or taking care of you. I’m your mother.” She runs her fingers through his hair, then moves back into the kitchen. His blue eyes follow her.

“Is dad here?”

“Yes, of course. Boys are with Uncle Neeks and Auntie Lex, but Livy is coming this weekend.”

“You both didn’t have to come and Liv needs to stay in California. She has school.”

“Mmm, but we did.” Emma looks over her shoulder at him. “We needed to see that you were going to be okay.”

“Dad isn’t here now?” Lio looks down the hall towards his bedroom.

“No, we felt like it’s you and I that need to talk. Not the three of us.” Lio looks away. “Don’t be mad at daddy. It was me. He didn’t want to do it.” Lio’s blue eyes find her again in the kitchen.

“You don’t get to tell me to not be mad at him.” He whispers.

“Probably not. But I love your dad very much and if I can save him from your wrath, I want to.” 

Lio goes to the couch, sitting down, laying his head back on the top. He is exhausted from his morning. He feels the air of his mom coming around the couch. She puts her hand on his forehead, smoothing the wrinkle of distress there. 

“What’s the news?”

“Concussion.” Lio mumbles. 

“Is your brain okay?”

“Yes.” Emma sighs in obvious relief. Her hand drops to his shoulder. She strokes her hand there, quietly contemplating where to go next. When Lio opens his eyes, she begins.

“Lio, daddy and I love you more than I even know how to say. I never thought I would have to find words to express how much and I’m deeply sorry that you’ve been so hurt.” She sighs, running her hand through her hair, then looking out the floor to ceiling windows to the city. His apartment is only a few blocks from where her and Timo lived when she was pregnant with Lio. That feels like so long ago, but she tries to go back to who she was then to give Lio more insight into their life.

“I was the one who wanted to fudge your story. I know daddy told you that this summer, but he doesn’t know all of the things that went into that. You and I had experiences when you were a baby that made me feel very protective of you. People judged. They were horrible and social media made our life so accessible, even as Daddy and I tried to hide you. But this was never because we were ashamed or didn’t love you.” Disgust and substantial disagreement scrunches Emma’s nose. “It was the exact opposite.” Emma puts her hands on her cheeks for a moment, then continues.

“When you were 10 months old, the Devils were playing in the Eastern Conference finals. Daddy was hurt. He was playing through it as he always does, so he wasn’t performing very well. People were upset.” Lio watches his mom become increasingly uncomfortable. “You and I were out at a store after the Devils went down in the series. There was an incident in public where someone came up to you, a little baby, and called you that name…” Emma closes her eyes. “They went on to literally blamed the entire playoff situation on the fact that you were born out of wedlock. Daddy’s play as well. We were being punished for our sin of having you.”

Lio can see how much this still hurts his mom decades later.

“I’m sorry, mom.” He says sincerely. 

“That person got to me.” Emma shakes her head. “I felt you deserved a better story. A more picture perfect story because of how much joy and purpose you brought to our lives. I..” She sighs. “I felt like we ruined your childhood before it had even really begun. I tried to fix it the way I knew how. Instead I hurt you.” 

“But Lio, please know, I have loved you since the moment I knew of you even when I was crying on a bathroom floor. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to figure it out for you. When I got up off that tile, whatever decision daddy wanted wasn’t going to shake my decision. You were coming because I wanted you. It would be me and you against the world.” Emma stops, looking at him, then she chuckles. “But daddy wasn’t going anywhere. He was all in. He loved us so much. You’ve seen the videos from when I was pregnant with you. Nothing about that was forced.”

Lio remembers the one of his dad laughing hard as a three week old Lio tried to latch onto Timo’s big chest. The pictures of him on the ice at The Rock for the first time in skates that looked massive on his feet. Tons of videos of Lio and Timo napping together the year of the Devils first cup run. He looks across his apartment at a picture of his parents and him with the cup. It was only Lio and them at that time. Well, his mom was pregnant with Livy, but they barely knew that. Although the most difficult to win trophy in sports is right there, his dad’s hands are on a young Lio, engulfing him and his mom in his sweaty equipment.

“It felt like a lie.” Lio hears himself say. He gestures to the picture. Emma follows his gaze. “Like it looked like that. But then you and dad would make a comment about wanting me so bad you couldn’t wait and my whole life felt like a lie.” Emma swallows hard, nodding.

“I see that now, Lee. I’m very sorry. But that was real. That was our life, baby.” She reaches for his hand.

“It hurt me.” He whispers. Emma winces, then runs her hand up his arm to squeeze his shoulder.

“I know. I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.” Emma purses her lips together, then looks at Lio with tears in her eyes. She brushes her thumb over the hairs behind his ear. “So loved. So wanted. Never a mistake.” Lio nods, then reaches to hug her. They hold one another tightly. 

“Love you, mama.” Lio inhales heavily. “I can see how you wanted to protect me.” 

“I love you, Lee. So much sweet boy.” When they pull apart, Emma stands to grab Lio more water, then comes back to the couch.

“She wasn’t even pregnant.” Lio confesses. “False positive.” 

“Oh.” Emma blinks. This is the first time she is hearing this. “How does that make you feel?”

“Relieved.” Lio answers honestly. “More than any of the other reasons I said this summer… I just don’t want kids, mama.”  Emma nods. She has suspected so for awhile. 

“It’s your life. You get to decide. But you need to be more careful because at some point, it becomes not your choice.” 

“Kay, pot.” Lio jokes with a light-hearted smirk. Emma tisks, chuckling and smacking Lio’s leg.

“Don’t slut shame your mother. You didn’t see how good James Bond looked that night.”

- - -

A brisk and skin drying wind has picked up on the East coast in the middle of November. Old man winter is roaring its way to the East coast with a winter storm warning in effect beginning tomorrow. With the impending weather, things are sure to get dicey in the booming metropolis of New York City. Despite the lingering effects of his concussion agitating him today, Lio is currently being dragged from room to room in the Bubble Planet by Stella Wood.

“This way! This way!” She yells, struggling to pull his heavy weight with her little body.

“Stell, I’m coming. Just chill.” He laughs.

“She doesn’t know that word. She’s three.” Lucie jokes back to him. 

They weave through room after room, each one more exciting than the last. Stella is having the time of her life, especially when she is on Lio’s shoulders, getting to touch the bubbles falling from the ceiling.

“Mama, this is the best day! I wish daddy could come!” Lucie and Lio avoid looking at each other, just like they avoid the giant elephant that is Connor Wood between them.

Although Lucie and Connor have discussed more about what happened this summer, he is not ready to move on. It got particularly heated when Lucie asked if Stella could see Lio. Connor questioned Lucie’s motives, worried about the implications and confusion Stella would have about Connor not being there. These were fair and valid points, but her inquisitiveness hurt less than her tears about missing Lio.

“Baby, you do what you need to do, but I’m not interested in spending time with him or fixing this. I’ve made concessions along the way. This is where I am at. Stell stays here with me.” 

Lucie respected that. She dropped it completely. But suddenly the next morning, Connor had given her quiet permission for her to bring Stella to breakfast with Lio. That was a month ago. Connor heads to the rink on days when his girls are meeting up with Lio, always having an excuse about training or treatment or nutrition. Lucie kisses him extra hard on those days, wanting him to know she loves him deeply and understands so much of this is difficult for them.

Now, as she watches Stella up on Lio’s shoulders, all she can fathom is the immense hole Connor’s absence brings. 

“Baby, are you getting hungry?” Lucie asks her daughter as they bop out onto the New York avenue.

“Yeah.”

“What do you want?”

“Mac and cheese!”

“You had that for dinner last night.” Lucie laughs.

“She is a good Swiss girl!” Lio nods approvingly. 

“Her favorite is Kraft.” Lucie points out.

“We’ll work on it. She’s three, ya know.” He jostles Lucie’s shoulder, then immediately regrets it at the way the world swirls upright for a minute. “Oof.” He rubs at his temples.

“Careful, Lee. No setbacks.” Lucie cautions, gripping his shoulder.

The three of them head a few blocks down to a diner, settling into a red booth with huge, plastic menus and a coloring page for Stella. Lio sits on her side of the booth, taking turns coloring a troll in a field of daisy. 

“Not pink!” Stella scrunches her nose, pushing Lio’s hand away.

“What? You said I could pick any color.”

“Yeah, any one but pink.”

“You love pink?”

“When I was two.”

Lucie and Lio both snort, attempting to pursue their lips to keep their laughter in. Stella Wood is an absolute hoot. 

“Can I share a milkshake with you?” Lucia asks Lio.

“I was gonna share with Stell.” 

“Oh, I see how it is.” She raises her eyebrows then looks away with a smirk at her menu. She decides on a simple Strawberry shake. “Stell, do you want to share with uncle Lee?”

“Yeah.” 

“Which flavor?”

“Reese’s! His favorite!” 

“No, you can’t have those, baby. You’re allergic to peanuts.”

“No peanuts in there?”

“Yes, there is peanut butter.” Lucie calmly reminds her.

“Sorry, Uncle Lee. I get sick.” She pats her little pot belly. 

“It’s okay. I was thinking chocolate.”

“Oh yes.” The little girl sighs happily.

The waitress comes and takes their orders. The adults grab cheeseburgers with fries while Stella happily exclaims she needs Mac and Cheese. The waitress practically swoons out of her Keds at how sweetly Stella thanks her for going to get their food. More coloring is done and a quick few games of hangman using three letter words like cat and dog and hat. Stella is getting so good at her ABCs. The milkshakes come out first. Stella watches in awe as the shake is split between two cups for her and her uncle.

“You gonna be able to finish that?” Lio asks. 

“Mhm.” Stella nods enthusiastically. With one hand she grabs the glass while the other helps her balance on the table top. She sucks up the milkshake quickly, then sputters, coughing. 

“Oh, that was a big sip. It’s cold, huh?” Lucie chuckles, handing Stella her water glass. She holds it up to the little girl’s lips for a sip.

“Ah!” She exclaims. “Mmmm.” She sucks up more of the thick liquid. Lio and Lucie chuckle, watching Stella enjoy her ice cream. Lio leans back farther in the booth, looking across the table at his cousin.

“I’ve had so much fun with you today. I missed this.”

“Me too.” Lucie murmur. Stella coughs again, loudly, then seems to gag. Stella sits up straighter, looking Lucie in the eyes with wide orbs. “Are you okay, baby?” Lucie straightens. Lio sits up as well, reaching out for Stella. She makes a wheezing noise, then sticks her tongue out. 

“Oh my god. Stell?” Lucie covers her mouth, watching a red, angry rash begin to form on Stella’s face. Lio grabs Stella as she begins to sway backward.

“She is very warm.”

“What is going on?” Lucie whispers, she looks around the table then she smells it, the faintest whiff of peanut butter coming from the ice cream in the glass Stella was drinking. “Oh my god. Peanut butter.” She reaches for her purse, fumbling around. “Um.. ohmygod.”

“Do you have an Epipen?”

“Um.” She nods vigorously, beginning to pant herself. Her stomach tightens, fear dashes down her spine. She rips her hands through the contents of her purse, looking for the injection she always carries with her since the first reaction Stella had a few months ago in Switzerland. But it wasn’t like this. It was nothing close to this. 

“Luc, come on.” Lio calls to his cousin, picking up Stella into his arms. “You’re okay, baby. It’s okay!” He tries for a cheery voice as Stella being to sob. “Luc, dump the purse out.” Lucie picks the bag up, emptying it from the handles. Lio sees the EpiPen immediately, tossing the cap off hastily. He does the injection, pausing to watch Stella’s reaction. Her wheezing gets tighter, but she can no longer speak to him or even cry. Lio’s heart is racing in his chest as he watches her struggle.

“Do you have another one?”

“No! It’s with Connor at home.” She shakes her head frantically. “Oh my god. Someone call an ambulance!” Lucie sobs out to the restaurant. In the haste of dumping her purse out, her phone fell underneath the booth. But she is frozen in paralysis. She can’t move. She can’t breathe. She is forced to watch her baby struggle.

Adrenaline takes over Lio like he was injected with the epinephrine. He calculates out where they are in the city, the amount of time it will take for an ambulance to get there and he knows Stella’s chances of making it are slim with how much she is struggling even after her first injection. He has seen this before with a kid in school when they still lived in Jersey. 

“There isn’t time for the ambulance. I’m taking her to Children’s.” The hospital is at the end of the three blocks they walked from Bubble Planet, close to Lucie’s car. Lio secures Stella to his chest and begins to run from the restaurant. He leaves Lucie at the table to scramble her things back into her bag. He runs as fast as his body will go. Stella jostles against his shoulder, going limper and limper and Lio quite literally races against time. 

“You’re going to be okay, Stell. it’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He promises the little girl in his arms. 

Tears blur his vision. His concussion rears it’s ugly head, pulsing against his temples and making the sidewalk shift with his blurred vision. He can’t let that stop him. Stella needs him. He pushes his injured and weak body to go harder the next block, dodging pedestrians and cabs in walk ways and dogs on leashes. He hits the emergency entrance of the hospital, screaming for help. 

“Help! Please! My nieces is going into shock! She was exposed to peanuts!” Nurses swarm him, snatching Stell immediately and taking over. 

“Did you give her Epinephrine?”

“How was she exposed?”

“Is this her first exposure?”

Lio answers the questions as best he can. Yes, ingested and no. He looks over his shoulder, wondering when he can expect to see Lucie. But then they are taking Stella away on her bed. Another nurse holds him back as they rush down the hall with her. 

“Sir, I need you to wait in the lobby.”

She is right. He needs to wait for Lucie anyway. But that doesn’t make it easier to turn around. He heads to the doors he just sprinted through, avoiding the gazes of curious onlookers. He walks outside into the cold air. His chest tightens immediately and he turns to the side, looking for something he can vomit into. But then he sees Lucie Wood, rushing down the sidewalk, clutching her purse to her chest, sobbing so loud he can hear every inhale and exhale of her shaking body.

“Luc, they’ve got her.” Lio calls to her. He opens his arms up and Lucie collapses into his body. His shirt is immediately wet from her face. Large hiccups shudder her frame against him. He squeezes her tight, smoothing her hair down. “It’s going to be okay.” Lio whispers to her, hoping that maybe if they chant that together, it will make it real.

Several minutes pass. Lucie continues to sob into Lio’s body, even after he moves her inside to get out of the wind. The doctors come out looking for him, finding him and Lucie together. Stella is stable. They can go see her, but she will need to stay for several hours for monitoring as they had to give her two more injections. Lucie heads right into her daughter’s room, curling up with the little girl who looks drugged and exhausted in the center.

“Mama is here. You’re okay.” She cries to her daughter. Stella is upset and shaken from the ordeal. She clings to Lucie like a monkey, balling her shirt up in her little fists. 

“LuLu, do you want me to call Connor?”

“Yes.” Lucie whispers, barely able to get the word out of her shaking lips. She reaches into the back pocket of her jeans, handing her phone to him. “If you call he won’t answer.” She says simply. Lio tries to brush that off like it doesn’t hurt, but it stings as bad as the wind biting his cheeks during his sprint to the hospital. 

Lio takes a deep breath, then clicks on Connor’s contact. His heart is pounding in his chest like he’s about to take a face-off in the final minute of a trailing game. He licks his lips, leaning agains the wall, waiting on the call to connect.

“Hey baby! I’m just about to leave.”

“Ah.” Lio coughs. “Hey, it’s Lio.”

Silence.

“Where is Lucie?” A definite snap tightens the words through the line. 

“She’s with Stella. She asked me to call you and tell you what is going on.”

“What? Are they okay? What..” 

“Lucie is okay.” Lio starts.

“Stell? Whats wrong with her!?” Connor’s voice is beginning to escalate. “What did you do, Lio?” Connor snaps. Lio closes his eyes. 

“I didn’t do anything. It was a mistake at the restaurant.”

“Fuck!” Connor yells. “Where are you?”

“At Children’s hospital off 34th.”

“You have to tell me what happened, Lio.”

“I’m trying to, but you’re not letting me get much out here, man.” Connor sighs. Lio takes his silence as compliance. “We were out grabbing lunch and she had an allergic reaction and we had to bring her to the hospital. Her Epipen wasn’t enough.”

“Fuck, I have the second one. We usually have the two together, but Lucie and I had plans the other night and…” Connor’s voice is distraught.

“It happens. But you should get down here. They need you.”

“I’m on my way.” 

Lio removes the phone from his ear, looking at the lock screen of Lucie, Connor and Stella. Lio took that photo of them this summer in Switzerland, before everything happened. He sighs heavily, then comes back into the room.

“Connor is coming.” Lio assures Lucie. She doesn’t take her crying eyes off the little girl in her arms. She sniffs and nods in acknowledgement, continuing to touch her daughter’s face soothingly. Lio can’t tell if it’s for Stella or Lucie.

Connor Wood arrives thirty minutes later with squeaking sneakers on the tile floor of the hospital hallway. Lucie and Stella are dozing in an overwhelmed sleep. Lio sits in the chair next to them with one hand on Stella, rubbing her arm. Lucie’s hand clings to his wrist, needing comfort in one of the worst moments of her life. 

“I’m a terrible mom.” She had told Lio tearfully.

“You’re not. It was scary.” 

“What if you weren’t there?”

“It doesn’t matter. I was.”

“Luc! Stell!” Connor rushes into the room then locks in on Lio. He shifts his worried eyes to the bed, seeing Lucie and Stella curled together. His lips pull into a deep frown, then his eyes seemingly dim when he takes in Lio in the place he should be.

“They’re resting, Lucie is pretty upset.” Lio says as he slowly works his wrist out of Lucie’s grasp. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to see me. I’ll leave now, I just didn’t want to leave the girls alone before you got here.”

“What happened?” Connor asks. Lio can see the way his chest rapidly raises and falls beneath the Rangers logo on his chest.

“Stella somehow got a peanut butter shake at the diner. Wrong order. She had some and started having a severe reaction.” Connor’s face gets ghostly pale. He puts his hand on his head over his blue hat, waiting for more. “Um, Luc, She… she panicked. It was all scary. Truly awful. But I gave Stell the injection, but it didn’t do enough. She became mostly unresponsive.” Connor closes his eyes, bringing his hands to his face in anguish. “There wasn’t time to wait for help, so I grabbed Stella and ran here with her.” 

“You ran?”

“Yeah. Stell didn’t have time.” Lio reiterates. If he is mad at Lio for that, then so be it. Maybe it was reckless, but Lio had to make a judgement call and Stell is going to be okay because of it. Connor stares at Lio. Then suddenly he steps forward around the bed. Lio stands up taller, preparing for anything. Connor wraps an arm around Lio’s shoulders to bring him into his body. Lio brings his hands up, clasping Connor’s back as they share a deep, sincere hug. 

“Thank you.” Connor whispers, tears coating his voice. Lio squeezes Connor tighter, not wanting to let go of his best friend. Suddenly, it hits Lio. How close they were to losing Stell. How dire she had looked when he ran through the doors of the ER. How Lucie had every right to be that terrified at the table. It had been bad. Horrible. Worst case scenario. 

Lio can’t help it. He begins to sob. Everything that has happened the last few months weeps out of him. From losing Savannah, to screaming at his parents, to only having his little sister, to losing the three people in this room with him. His concussion… almost losing Stella on that New York street.

“It’s okay, Lee. She’s going to be okay.” Connor puts his hand on Lio’s head. “You saved our girl.” Lio nods, shuddering as he pulls away. Both men wipe their faces with their hands, then look over to the two girls laying in the bed. Stella has a sleepy grin on her face, watching them.

“Daddy!” She giggles, reaching out to him, flexing and unflexing her fingers for him to come closer.

“Hi baby.” Connor smiles brightly, leaning down to kiss her cheeks. “Can I lay with you and mama?” 

“Yeah.” Stella yawns as she says the word. 

“Sleepy.” Connor chuckles, kissing her again. He curls her and Lucie into his body, trying to be careful not to wake his wife. Lucie jolts up at the feeling of his hands on her. “Me, Luc. It’s me.” She visibly relaxes when she sees her husband. “I’m here.” He brushes her cheek with his thumb. 

Lio watches from the end of the bed, then anxiously rubs at his forehead. He clears his throat, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Um, well I’ll head out so you all can be together.”

“No, don’t go.” Lucie shakes her head. 

“It’s okay, Luc. I’ll see you later.” 

“You should stay with us.” Connor says softly. “We want you here.” The insinuation of the we has the corners of Lio’s mouth sliding up.

Lio makes his way back to the chair by the bedside, sitting down in it. Him and Connor share a look of understanding. Lucie trails her nails along Stella’s back as another big yawn stretches her little mouth. 

“Uncle Lee?” Stella murmurs.

“Hm?”

“You gonna be here when I wake up?”

“Yeah, Stell.” He sighs. “I’ll be right here.”

[sammys-magical-au]

So update: I have now watched episodes 3 & 4 of TEOS! Yes, it took me that long to get back to it. I have an excuse I have mild somniphobia ok.

Anyway here’s my thoughts on these two eps, under the cut bc I still wanna avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet:

I stand by what I said about Linda needing a hug, she really does. Actually no screw that they could all use a hug omfg

Ruth was an interesting addition to the story, I knew she was gonna end up dying but I was sad to see her go

It’s so obvious that Dave still loves Katie holy fuck he’s such a sad puppy. I mean clearly Katie still has feelings for him too but his are way more obvious

Also. Baby Dave is precious and must be protected at all costs. I know I said that in the last post but I’m saying it again.

I don’t think I even caught the doctor’s name but he’s. Weird. Kinda glad he got killed actually he seemed waaay too flirty with Dave’s mom and way too confident in what he was doing, but he’s clearly linked to Dave’s dreams in some way based on the flashbacks during his creepy fucking monologue about the machine

And why doesn’t this doctor look like a real person??? Am I the only one seeing this??? I mean yeah he’s probably wearing a tupee but for some reason it just makes him look like something pretending to be a human. Please tell me I’m not alone in this.

What the fuck did he mean about matching pyjamas in “a lady’s size”???????? Hello???????? Was that meant to be a throwaway joke or is he a pedo or some shit??? He gives child predator vibes to me y’all honestly I think it’s good that Dave stabbed him, even if it was an accident

I want more of Linda and Matteo’s backstories, they’ve both clearly been through some shit

Going insane over Katie’s “if you do this you’re a murderer” while Dave is right there. Clearly he hasn’t told her what he did yet. How did that effect him in the moment? We can’t see his reaction to that line but I’ll bet it cut deep.

Like I said last time, Mark (and Lio, and the other actors ofc) did a fantastic job with this series, the emotions are so fucking palpable in every scene.

Please give Dave and Katie five minutes to talk everything out c’mon pls tell me that happens in the next two episodes and they live happily ever after? (<- in denial bc I know that’s not how this ends)

[risilence]

So in a weird flip of fate I was playing Fallout 4 and had the realization that PTN would be a hilarious crossover! ( 〃▽〃)

I lowkey want to write this BUT for now you get a rough sketch ( ´∀｀ )b When my hands feel up to it, Ill make this digital so for now enjoy this traditional sketch.

Chief was surprised to find that the raiders base was already silenced before they arrived. Under Angell's warning, they crouched a few feet aways and hid behind bush and tree. Angell commented that she still felt a murderous aura from within the house base. Eyes thinning with readiness at the home turned fortress in case they needed to battle. Angell insisted that they should just go as the stench of blood lust tickled her 6th sense.

Unlike Angell, Rahu could guess who was behind it all as she was very much aware of a certian group of individuals who still held old world technology to create such massacres. Rahu felt herself wanting to run as she had long ago discovered what happens when you underestimate the order.

But Chief was foolishly determined. She needed to know just who or what had wiped out this vicious gang. Ignoring the advice to just leave, she pulled out here bronze scope and prepared herself to peek through. Her single magnified eye combing through the doors and windows for a glimpse of this potential friend or foe. Finally coming eye to eye with the woman who had vaporized all who had the misfortune of being station there.

Shalom, a beauty that always wore clean pressed clothes waved at Chief. Gesturing that she knew she was there and had chosen not to attack. Though Shalom couldn't hide the fact that she was a bit happy to have encountered the wasteland hero. Her lios curling as she leaned against the window sill with a sudden need to continue their interaction. Shalom took this chance to blow a kiss and motioned for Chief to call her with seductive play. She couldn't help wanting to tease the other as she held back a chuckle when Chief fumbled her device away.

Chief was shocked and a bit taken back by Shalom's actions. Her heart accelerated from being caught as she tried to make sense of what just happened.

Seeing Chief so surprised, Rahu grabbed her by the back of her pants belt and tugged her backwards, "Lets just keep moving."

It was the right call, and yet Chief couldn't. There was a whisper in her gut that wanted to make sense of Shalom's actions, "Does she want me to communicate with her?" She mummbled her next words, "Is this her way of wanting to talk?"

"Chief," Angell was done.

[a-lwni]

reading a novel that links a bunch of conversations theorizing about love, all the characters want to get a word in, be heard, be seen. there's pablo who is adamant that love is only duration + frequency. a sentiment lio shared a couple years ago - how can i build a trusting relationship if i can't predict when i'll see you next? duration, frequency, consistency, tending like good soil.

[i mostly disagree.. there are people who have only crossed my path once, briefly, but i can't imagine not loving. and people i don't see or even think about for years at a time, but when we reunite the love is just fact, palpable.]

but i return to it in my emptiest times - when i need to convince someone of my love when i have nothing to show for it but bruised bloodied fingers from scraping the bottom of my pit, nothing else to give.

another character, giorgios, talks about three types of love in greek, eros, philia, agape. romantic, friendship, divine.

[divine love.. many thoughts but more another time. everything i write, every time i think to write, i feel i'm trying to communicate something about divine love. who said that their entire oeuvre was an ongoing conversation with god? that.]

the philia that—under perfect circumstances, and even then only w extreme luck—we are able to distill from eros is the most precious thing in the world [to me]. i feel like it shaped my attitude in many relationships, but as i get older now, maybe more respect for eros? or just less fear of it. it's always felt so fickle, such shaky ground - how does one build lasting foundation in it? still it seems silly.. what do you think?

[bitchinbarzal]

How does all the Meier drama get fixed once mama gets home?

Mama speaks to Bea and explains what Lio was talking about

“Daddy didn’t think you were a girl”

“But I am a girl?”

“Yeah, but daddy thought you were a boy like your brothers and daddy got kinda scared to have a babygirl but daddy loves you more than anything princess I promise you”

And she talks to Lio

“You can’t say that to anyone Lio”

“Mama I’m sorry”

“Ok but you need to say sorry to Bea”

Timo: my wife is a wizard