#and i have so much damn executive dysfunction

[yaniasogames]

im starting to think i def have inattentive adhd

[exile-arc]

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[fairwinds-safetravels]

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[nezushi]

bro its so wild to think that people can just do tasks they need done and it doesnt require huge amounts of motivation to even attempt to start doing them

[quixoticprince]

Yayyy!! Yippee!! I finally get to make one of these!! Art without the text under the cut and some long-winded elaborations:

How long I've been playing: well, it hasn't been a straight 11 years, rather off and on - but I have drawings of these guys dating back to when I was 14, so I'll give it to me. And man I had no business reading the fanfics I was reading back then It's also crazy how this was a super influential media for me in so many ways. It's the reason I ever made a tumblr, it changed the direction of my drawings for a long while, my broken sense of humor (gmod animation memes and yt poops were the brainrot back then), tf2 Sniper changed my god damned gender (rather, it was the inspiration for me to start socially transitioning at 15). This is part of my personal lore that I tend to not admit to 😓

Your main: I've always been completely ass at the game, and I can play flexibly, but I enjoy playing Sniper, and more recently as Heavy. Whenever I'm sitting around somewhere, occasionally throwing sandwiches and attracting Medics, I feel like this:

Favorite character: When I was younger it was definitely Medic, and I think you can tell that he's still up there based on how much I've drawn him! However, since getting back into it, I've felt quite a shift in focus towards Heavy, very strongly. It's unfortunate that he's side-lined in a lot of fanwork, and I think I'm also complicit in this so far - but for me it's cuz, how tf2 works is that it's going to prioritize humor over character and consistency haha, and Medic is just so loud and insane that he's really easy to make fun stuff with. Heavy is a more serious and grounded character, not to say that he's not funny or that he doesn't have his own cartoon slapstick moments! But that aspect of him is what is really really intriguing to me. I love his quiet, stoic, and intimidating character, I like how loud and boisterous he is when filled with bloodlust in contrast! I love his bird story and him getting into wrestling as a child from Poker Night. I love his back story setting, there's so much to extrapolate from a young boy in Russia growing up during WWII, what his parents must have been through before that from the aftermaths of the revolution, all the way to his fathers execution and his imprisonment. I love his strong relationship with his family, his role as an older brother, as a protector, as a man - the way that he performs these roles - and because I personally see him as bisexual - how his orientation intersects with all that! He is incredibly fascinating to me and I wish that he was played around with more to see a lot more corners and angles of these things that I listed! There's way more that I want to say here too but this is getting very long 😅

Character I relate to: It's so interesting that a lot of the characters have very strong, tho maybe dysfunctional, families. Heavy, Demo, and Sniper in particular really speak to me in that relation. From Heavy being an eldest brother (I am also an eldest sibling) the parentification that comes with that, especially with him probably being like 10 years older than his sisters from the looks of it. Demo and Sniper both struggle living up to their parents expectations (although there's a lot of love there from everyone), being disappointments in one way or another (not gonna deep dive into that lol), and the general alienation both of them feel. From Sniper not knowing why he's not like other Australians to Demo being "a black Scottish cyclops." And well, I'm Filipino, I'm queer, and mentally ill so - there's a lot to project there!

Class you want to play as: I find Medic incredibly stressful to play as but I find the idea of battle medics incredibly funny. However I usually find myself rushing around madly trying to cater to everyone, and I'd like to just not give a shit and just start stabbing people with a saw lol

Favorite ship: "I just like the dynamic" - The dynamic:

No but fr, they're really compelling to me, I'd probably need a longer more thought out post as to what I like about them and I was already going crazy up there ^ Overall tho I like that they're practically built for each other in terms of mechanics, really plays into my desire to spiral into intense codependency haha. I also think that Medic's drive to cheat death and hide behind meat shields plays really well into Heavy's desire to be a meat shield and a protector, and how nice it is in turn, that Medic can grant this man who's been around death, starvation, and war invulnerability. (He outsmart boolet, yknow?) They're also depicted together a lot and I like how much they enjoy each others company, and bring a lot of joy to each other. It's beautiful to me :'^)

Character you like to draw: What can I say! Medic is handsome! He is very fun to draw and easy to make memes and shit posts out of!

[sincerelywhistler]

Freelancer!

More headcanons (ft. Gavin) under the cut!

^ and a Pinterest board bc I have a problem

- Hux calls them Skipper

- Matching heart hip tattoos w/ my Gav design & dyed the tips of their hair pink to match as well teehee

- Can get pretty nasty academic burnout and bouts of executive dysfunction

- Boba shop employee

- A dancer! Has a tiktok where they post choreo clips to and throwing it down to whatever songs are trending

- Big softy. So!! Cuddly!! World cold and harsh, Freelancer’s arms so warm and safe

- Gay awakening was Danny Phantom

- Chronic “lol” user while texting, and it gets on Damien’s nerves because nothing is even “lol” worthy about making dinner plans so STOP ENDING YOUR SENTENCES WITH LOL WHATS SO FUNNY BRO

- Filipino 🇵🇭

- Spicy foods = best foods. If their organs aren’t melting from the inside out then what’s the point??

- Pokémon sweat tbh

- Dr. Pepper addict

- Coffee hater, but they’ll drink it anyway if they’re desperate enough. They call it “dirty bean water” which both confuses and delights Gavin immensely

- Gave Gav a pair of cat ear headphones for the holidays, but they lowkey like how they look on him a lil too much so… that’s a pandora’s box situation for another day

- So many stupid and silly bumper stickers on their car (“Please don’t watch me park, I have performance anxiety”, “I break for roly-pollies”, etc.)

- Their favorite book genre is fanfiction on AO3

- Thus, shamelessly, they get some of their best ideas of how to rock Gavin’s world from smut fics

- Calls Gavin “playboy” when they’re being suggestive ;)

- Half of their paycheck would go to DoorDash if they got their way

- Has that natural aura where everyone can’t really help but crush on them a bit

- Lets Gavin change out their dexcom <3

- Has a collection of fun tape and/or transmitter stickers for said dexcom

- California born and raised

- If there is a DAMN rowing crew, they’re on it. Was quite exceptional on their high school team

- Can surprisingly be an efficient morning person (unless there’s a pretty incubus curled up at their side, then you’re playing by Cat Rules. Can’t move until the cat does first)

- Scared of heights, you’ll never find their ass on an airplane

vibe check Miles and take a peek at their pin board

[absentlyabbie]

don't be afraid of buying things that make your life easier. don't talk yourself out of it, beat yourself up for being "lazy", or shame yourself for not being able to do things the "right" way so you don't deserve to try it a different way.

if there's a thing out there that can make something faster, more bearable, less painful, more tolerable, anything like that at all, and you can afford it? you have the right, you deserve it, and you should do it.

i've stuck for the last several years with exclusively those detachable sprayer showerheads, because i need to be able to sit down in the bath and it makes the entire operation easier, so i'm less likely to risk a concussion or pass out or wobble and slip.

for the last few years, i've been using one with a little powerwash spray setting and i use it before and after every shower and it keeps my tub and shower cleaner so much longer, which is great because i hate cleaning the bath and can put it off for months, and scrubbing kills my shoulders.

sometimes, whether it's the executive dysfunction, or the depression, or knowing that i become entirely detached from the concept of time when in the shower, if i can't bring myself to get in the damn thing and do a full-blown shower, and i know i'd just be uncomfortable and not clean and still keep putting it off (because i can easily lose well over an hour once in there), i will kneel on my (cushy, quick-dry, memory foam) bathroom mat beside the tub and lean over it to wash my hair and face and maybe soap up to my shoulders. then later when it feels like a way more manageable and shorter task i can do a quick scrub and rinse.

i've bought cbd for when my joint pain makes sleeping otherwise impossible (even though it's expensive) and a work desk that has expandable legs to be a bed desk if i ever need to work sick (i'm lucky to be remote since my job change).

i've bought the screw-top, 40oz, insulated mugs and extra long plastic straws (do not @ me) and the pop-bottom giant cube ice trays all because every one of those helps ensure i drink more water every day (and so does the faucet-mounted water filter).

i buy specific individual snacks that require little to no prep so even when the execution of making a sandwich is Too Damn Much, i can still make myself do some calorie intake.

i talked myself into a cushioned mattress topper to relieve my spine and because it's way cheaper than a new mattress. i bought blackout curtains for our old apartment because the outdoor lights were insanely bright at all hours and made sleep even more elusive.

i've purchased slip on-only shoes or no-tie laces because i hate tying shoelace knots, my hands are less dexterous than ever (and hurt), and because i struggle with time management and it's one small thing to shave off just a little more time so i'm a little less late.

i didn't buy all of these things all at once, definitely. i am, sadly, made of meat and not money.

but i started budgeting, slowly, more and more of whatever amount of disposable income i had after bills towards "thing to make life suck less and not be so hard" and i can't regret it in the least.

i deserve not only small comforts and joys, but also less pain and difficulty, and ways to make challenging parts of life a little more within my reach with not quite as much effort.

so do you.

[kinda-pushy-fem]

I think it’s a little transphobic that there isn’t a girl who’s slowly forcefemming me while telling me that it was only a matter of time before my egg cracked and now I must face the (very pretty) consequences of it.

You know, because I have too much executive dysfunction and autism and fear of change to do it myself…

It's a cruel world indeed... I believe you can reach your dream, though! You're going to feel so damn pretty!

[narrators-journal]

Kitsunebi

Fuck yeah! I actually like more than the concept or detail for this one! Of course, I’m not ENTIRELY the proudest, but that’s because I am rusty as hell with Soukoku QuQ. But hey! For once, I don’t feel like this is uncharacteristically awful work despite it not being Ryomina lol. And, I hope you enjoy it as well, dude. Sorry it took a bit. Also, forgive me if my info on kitsune/foxes is wrong, I did my best to google and read up on things.

EDIT: Admittedly, this one wasn’t in need of an edit because I disliked how it came out the first time. But, I decided to return to it regardless because I felt it came out a bit too short? I felt like I could still sprinkle in more detail, more focus on emersion, or something. I just felt something was MISSING to fill it out. So! I hope you enjoy the boost these bitches got, and I hope this’ll give my fans some assurance that I’m not devolving in skill or smthn.

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober masterlist: Here

CW: Teratophilia, since Dazai’s a kitsune here. Creative definitions of Aphrodisiacs (aka heat/rut cycles) but no a/b/o intended. Some vague? Phone sex? Mutual Masturbation can also be read into it, but it’s not explicitly there.

With Thanksgiving, festivals, Christmas, and New Years all in the same season, winter was a season rife with dramatics. On the side of the Mafia, there were deals to make, knock offs to sell, and bonds to keep healthy. For the ADA, there was the Mafia, as well as monsters and other petty criminals to contend with. So, Dazai was sure that Kunikida hated the season with every fiber of his being. Most of all due to the fact that the bandaged brunette went into rut during the season. Granted, Osamu Dazai didn’t have a strong work ethic on the best of his days, but he was sure that his vanishing act still annoyed the Thanksgiving stuffing out of the schedule-addicted man.

Meanwhile, the annoyance he inflicted upon Kunikida was probably the one thing that the manipulative brunette actually enjoyed when his rut came each year. Which, was petty, but in the years like this one, where he was left to his own devices with only toys and the dysfunctional level of need that infected every fiber of his being like a stubborn cancer, it was something to cling to. “That toy helping any, Mackerel?” Chuuya Nakahara asked, his voice distorted by the mostly forgotten cellphone that kept Dazai company amongst the temperamental redhead’s mussed comforter and egyptian cotton sheets. Though, the amusement in his words was still clear, and was still a burr that tangled itself in the brunette’s fluffed-up tail. “Not at all.” He growled out while he humped into the soft silicone of a lubricated pocket pussy. The feather-stuffed pillow that the kitsune kept captive beneath him a bit of support to keep the plastic casing from moving. “I’d prefer if it were you beneath me right now. A toy just doesn’t satisfy my needs as well.” “Bold of you to assume I’d let you top me, motherfucker. Even in your rut.” The martial artist mocked through the phone, emboldened by the distance Mori had put between them when he sent his executive off to sweet talk some important cog of the mafia. “But hey! At least your rut only lasts three days, right? That’s a perk.” He offered, only to get back through barred fangs, “That’s if I was a fucking girl, Chibi! You know damned well how long my ruts are, cunt!” Though, at the same time that the redhead’s sarcastic comfort pissed Dazai off, it also made his cock twitch while it slipped in and out of it’s silicone prison. The simple act of bickering with his mate like a dose of gasoline for the desire in Dazai’s belly. So, no matter how Chuuya’s laughter ate at him, the brunette’s thoughts felt too much like mush for him to formulate a second witty reply.

So, he didn’t bother, and instead buried his face into the cognac-scented pillow that he kept his arms wrapped around while his hips moved as if they had a mind of their own. The unyeilding plastic of the pocket pussy’s a harsh contrast to the lubricated silicone that squeezed him. Which, was equal parts uncomfortable, and weirdly enjoyable enough to make the kitsune’s tail swish and thump against the mattress while he barked and whined. Yet, no matter how much he huffed up Chuuya’s scent from the silken cushion, it offered little to no help against the heat that seemed to carbonate Dazai’s blood.

What did offer a sliver of help, though, was the grip of the sex toy he humped into. As well as, of course, the mafioso’s voice when it managed to seep back into the Kitsune’s lust-addled brain. “Osamu? You still there, or did you finally hang up?” And, while Dazai couldn’t muster up the words to respond due to the lack of oxygen that got through the cognac-scented pillow. Though, that lack of acknowledgement only made the redhead give a small sight before he likely returned to whatever paperwork he had. Nice enough to at least sit on the phone with the kitsune as he humped needily into his pillow.

So, Dazai didn’t linger on the mafioso’s comment. He simply tightened his hold on the cushion and did his best to convince himself that the too-soft item was the muscular, scarred body of his mate. And that the muffled schlick, schlick, schlick of the slimy, silicone toy was really the twitchy, warm walls of his partner. Something that wasn’t insanely hard to do, thanks to the years he had to catalogue each one of Chuuya’s lustful sighs, but proved to be a bit difficult when the plastic case of the fucktoy brushed against his belly. A reminder of the cheap quality of the imitation in his head.

Though, regardless of the interruptions, he was able to work himself up just enough to manage a needy whine of, “Chuuyyyyyaaa…” the moment he lifted his head to gulp down the smoke-tinged air of the bedroom. Though, whether that smoke was from Dazai’s kitsune powers, or simply the scent of his own body being cooked by his Rut, he couldn’t tell. “I’m still here, Mackerel.” The redhead assured, his voice distorted by the phone, yet still a bit of a salve. “I...I think I’m gonna cum. I-I’m right at the edge.” He desperately whimpered. “Really? Aren’t you up to three, though? That’s usually your limit for consecutive orgasms. Plus, I’m sure that toy is getting nasty.” He teased, likely to try and dig into the brunette’s competitive side for some sick sadistic pleasure of his own. Though, the kitsune chose to imagine he was simply fuelling his own masturbation. Though, that didn’t spare the redhead a snarl, even if he only heard it through his phone. “Alright, alright, jeez. You can cum, mackerel, you have my blessing.”

That earned him another horny bark from the mindless brunette before his orgasm finally slammed into him so hard, that the tinge of smoke he’d tasted earlier was undoubtedly now from something in Chuuya’s bedroom. As if that could alleviate the heat that erupted onto the kitsune’s skin the same way that his load seemed to erupt out of the sex toy pinned beneath his body. “Oy! Don’t you dare burn down my fucking house, mackerel! You burn it, you buy it, slut!” Chuuya snapped out, though his words only seemed to roll through Dazai’s head at that point. His furious ranting about the cost of his furniture little more than background noise, even as Dazai waved his fluffed up tail to extinguish the flames before they did more than some light smoke damage. So, the brunette simply smiled and let him scold him so that he could use the sound of his mate’s voice as some form of white noise during his break.

[power-handmaiden]

Day 319: The Loveland Frogman Gives The Best Accounting Advice And Head I’ve Ever Gotten

Here's another one that makes that silly pattern seeking human brain of mine go "the message of this one is for me!" The frogman's advice is, broadly speaking, about the importance of taking a task in manageable small steps rather than let it become something unwieldy and daunting.

If you'll forgive me talking about myself and my blog even more than usual here... OK, damn. 319 tinglers so far. As long as nothing unforeseen happens and I am alive at the end of the year I am going to read ALL the tinglers. I am confident of that fact now. I don't think I would have managed to do it if I first conceived of my goal in terms of "read all the tinglers". That would be an intimidating thought. That's a lot of reading! I probably would have read 20 in a day and then freaked out about how much of my day it took. However, the perspective of "cool, there's enough of these short stories that I could have one every day" was a framing that was a lot more approachable- effortless on most days, even.

Taking small steps to keep track of one's finances rather than having to scramble when tax season comes. Maybe it seems unrelated to what I'm talking about. It probably is for people with a different type of brain than I have, mayne this connection is all incoherent to a lot of people. But, executive dysfunction can be awful and keep you from doing things you enjoy as much as it keeps you from doing things you should be doing. The small upside to being wired in this way is: this same strategy helps equally to improve work and fully enjoy leisure time. Taking small steps with intention, and just focusing on every next step rather than being distracted by the end goal.

[infranthrax]

here, we have a twisted wonderland commission. a special memory, one to remember. just for you. ❤️

user id: @heinous-desiree

this was communicated through discord. no tumblr ask was received. I have their message as proof below.

enter a commission?

memory archive in process… just a moment… ✨

twisted wonderland matchups (SFW and NSFW.)

minors / ageless blogs that interact with this post will be blocked on sight as per my guidelines.

tw // nsfw themes, rigging, mommy/daddy dynamic, voyeurism, subby brat bullshit.

SFW Portion

» idia shroud

so he heard from the grapevine that you wanna play d&d and he squealed. listen, your chaotic, creative energy literally makes him feel like he’s not the only crazy one. you both would get along so well that yall would be inseparable practically. he’s the type of bro to take your ocs and put them in the sims for you.

the fact that you are also willing to get buck so easily, you make for one of those bodyguards with scary dog privileges and he breathes that man, like woah. he appreciates you. he would definitely teach you how to play d&d, lol, wow, all those games, and he would definitely throw out a nat 20 roll if he could to try and go simp mode, because let’s be honest, he does simp. and when this poor soul simps, he simps hard. take a metal pipe and drop it on him, that’s basically the equivalent of how he feels. regardless his shy little ass would rather just not act up on it because he doesn’t wanna look weirder than he already is.

how you lot would hang would be so niche… like a totally individualist kinda vibe, like it’s yalls’ energies, just mingling with each other. parallel activities are very much appreciated to him, like if you’re reading a book while he’s gaming, that’s a good deal to him. he also doesn’t do well in terms of executive dysfunction, as per his younger brother. if you actually remind him that he has to take care of things, because let’s face it, this blue blur gets caught up in his games for the most part that he sometimes forgets what time it is, he’ll appreciate you even more, in his stuttering red face way of course.

but there have been times where he would have to try and shakily pull your reins back. one time you saw a wasp in his room, and then he heard and saw it while he was in the middle of a quick match, and oh lord, he lost his shit. in response you decided to take the nearest object, which was one of his microphones, and tried to throw it at the wasp. you didn’t succeed at this however because he caught wind of you trying to kill it with his mic, and he held you and started yelling, “yo bestie! fuckin chill out that’s a murder hornet!” you still ended up killing the hornet anyway for him. bro was rizzed.

you lot eventually get closer and when white day hits he decides to be mr smooth guy and tried to (very nervously,) invite you over to his dorm for a movie. of course he picked an anime movie and you lot would end up having sort of an cheesy moment where he would kinda confess to you after the movie ended, all bashful and shit. it would be such a cute little set of banter. At first,he would be just as equally nervous around you in a relationship as he was before when he was crushing hard for you. holding hands in public? that’s a post marital act, how dare you manhandle this poor man with your sinful actions?! idia is definitely more of an introverted closed off person, therefore PDA is a no go for him as he thinks it’s embarrassing. behind closed doors though, thats a different story. idia is a massive cuddlebug and likes to have you sit in his lap as he games out. your relationship with idia is none but wholesome, especially when others find out. he would get teased for finally having a partner, more so with other students of ignihyde, which he jokes to you about as you’re really the only person he can talk comfortably to besides his younger brother and those he games with. you both share a very close bond with one another– one that is damn near bedrock solid. its cute, really.

NSFW SECTION

»trey clover

now, i was actually debating on lilia and silver as well. but i was like… hm. trey definitely looks like a good choice here. if you didn’t go for the other three, being idia, or maybe lilia or silver, trey would have been who you went for. trey has the reins needed to pull you back as he’s more relaxed and level headed, and this in turn goes well with your… bratty tendencies… we all know trey dislikes conflict.

you’re the chaotic cat to his gentle big dog, basically. and oh, what a pairing this is.

i feel like trey would be the guy to insert a gentle sense of control— a soft dominant. with the air of a saint bernard, he’s careful with you with his words, his tone, his touches… but on the surface, that’s all he lets you know. key words being, on the surface.

you like ropes. and he likes control. with careful discussion beforehand, he’ll happily tie you down. hes not really into intricacies such as shibari or anything the like, as it’s too complex and busy for him, but it does look pretty. he’ll try shibari maybe a few times with you, but at the end of the day, trey definitely is a sucker for the simpler things. tying your hands behind your back, along with your forearms. handcuffs? maybe. if he’s too impatient for the ropes. they’re the fluffy ones though— he cares about your comfort.

if you wanna take the reins sometime, he’ll gladly let you… for a bit. have your luck with him— his name is clover after all. riding him slowly and tenderly, i get the feeling that trey is more so into intimate and slow love making than the rough act of sex, admiring the romantic aspect of it all. besides the rigging, if you want to introduce more kinks to the bedroom, he isn’t gonna oppose. he’ll try anything at least once, just for you.

he gets to know the mommy/daddy kink well but doesn’t go overboard with the whole idea of the kink where it goes into age play territory. trey gets off to it mainly for the moniker and strictly the moniker at first. eventually though he starts to explore the idea of being more of a caring dominant in conjunction with the daddy moniker, and shit… he’s figured out that he gets off to that so hard it hurts.

its a weekend and you’re out with the other heartslabyul students studying out or whatever, and you come back to trey’s part of the dorms to hear heavy breathing coming from trey’s bedroom. of course, your chaotic cat kicks in and you quietly open his door to see him masturbating to something on his computer. he was probably watching porn to learn more about how to please you better based off of the things you’ve already told him. the way he slowly stroked up and down his shaft, combined with the gentle squeezing he would have… it was enough to have your eyes glued to him. and the moment he saw you touching yourself to him, that’s when he would break. two things that could happen. he could hide it and he could grow heavily embarrassed, or he could break and discipline you for being a “peeping tom.” your voyeurism has gotten you your fair share of punishments from trey. and usually when he does punish you it’s filled with orgasm denial and the inability to touch until you’re crying and begging. (no. you have to be sincere. any mockery here is only gonna make it worse.)

aftercare with trey is fucking godly. he cares for your wellbeing after all and will coddle you, especially after a rough session. he’s the type of dude to go get you a light snack and some cranberry juice and cuddle you to sleep, praising you all the way down until you snooze. he’s attentive, and if you have any problems, he stops immediately without question. after all, even the most chaotic of souls also need care as well.

[officially-other]

Update; an explanation for the next post being a new intro + bit of an AMA

I didn't realize when I made a 'rule' for myself about this blog, but I did. I don't think I ever post about my experiences anymore. It wasn't a conscious decision, it was just defending the status quo- sooooo I'm ending that because I'm sick of it. Have a wall of text!

TL;DR: A new kintype resulted in the realization that "oh shit, there's more than just me in my head." Turns out I'm plural. the AMA is simply because we're new and, save for me (Frog,) have a really fuzzy sense of identity. We're trying journaling to help but so far all the others are just... sort of as in the dark as I am.

This blog was made to be a sort of "interactive journal," and yet because I found comfort in the memes and sillyness that made me feel normal it became about that. I only posted about my Alterhumanity, and typically only in the form of memes. So!

Hi. Y'all haven't seen me in a while. A lot's been going on! I recently had two pretty major identity crisis /j breakthroughs. For one, I am fictionkin. I started a little sideblog ( @vines-of-mine ) for that and got to work on paying attention to that part of my identity as Alhaitham. (Yes, Alhaitham. Yes, from Genshin Impact.)

This, however, led me to something else. Suddenly I had way more ability to just decide to do something and do it without executive dysfunction kicking my ass. Different ways of speaking felt more natural. I felt like I'd been plonked into someone's life, looked around, went "damn you live like this?" and got to work. Within two days my room was clean, my altar had been taken care of finally, etc. I chalked it up to just... "Oh, well of course! It's a mental shift, and I can embrace my more serious side when there's no expectations for how I talk."

Ultimately, it was the "Damn, you live like this?" feeling, like I was an outsider in my own life, that made me question things. As often happens with me, the moment I opened myself up to the idea that I was plural, I opened a floodgate. I am fictionkin; I do believe I have a past life in a world that somehow, in some way, made its way into our world as fiction. There is just also... another Alhaitham hanging around in my head, who instead of having an identity with "also is Alhaitham" built into it, just fully is exactly as I/we were in that life. There's others, now, too. They've been here much longer. Alhaitham is just the one who got plonked in here recently and therefore interrupted the status quo enough for me to go "hey, wait, what the fuck was that?"

So now I'm here doing the spiderman meme with another Alhaitham, in my own head, while a witch and an enderman share popcorn in the background.

Now at least so much makes more sense. The way my tail phantom shifts were often more like an enderfolk tail than a dragon tail. The goddamn ears that weren't dragon ears, were more like cat or canine ears, but I couldn't figure out what that was about. The way my inner dialogue really is a dialogue sometimes, not a monologue. Etc. Etc.

I'll be posting a new intro, but!! I wanted to mention that questions are not only allowed but encouraged and appreciated :D If anyone wants to know more feel free to spam my inbox, I don't mind. We're all new to this and sometimes being asked questions helps us actually realize the answer. Beyond that, really, I just wanted to start posting more about my own experiences and this is sort of necessary context for all of it.

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Hey hey heyyya! Glad to see you're back. I don't know you, and I was introduced to both you and seeingteacupsindragons through a.. mutual. Point is, I remember not too long ago seeing a post from seeinteacupsindragons and it mentioning weekly chats or something with you, to manage expectations or something. I don't really understand much, and I'm not gonna pry haha. It's just good seeing you're back, and I thought it may make you guys happy if I mentioned how I happy I get seeing yalls interactions.

Please keep taking care. I don't think there was an issue or anything don't get me wrong, I just thought letting you know seeing all this cheered me up whilst I'm personally in a bad place yk. Stay gay lol, and much love to you both! Also, I keep forgetting messaging is a thing and I don't have to send an ask haha, sorry about that. Am too lazy to go copy paste it to messaging though, so here!

(Unrelated but affitionally cause adhd and sidetracked lol, but I love how true to your name your posts are. It resonates with my adhd brain in a good way I love it haha)

Oh yeah no, nothing's wrong or has been wrong, and I've been here the whole time haha!! (though definitely posting WAY less Moriarty the Patriot stuff since that particular hyperfixation has been hibernating a bit lol).

I actually wanted to make a post about this anyway so thank you for the prompt! The way my brain works *gestures to a heaping thrift store clothing bin of assorted undiagnosed neurodivergent traits* makes maintaining friendships very hard for me. I tend to slowly psych myself right out of them. Either I feel so much pressure to maintain constant communication that I run into some kind of executive dysfunction standstill and can't make myself do it, or I worry so much about being too much that I barely talk at all so that I don't become annoying. I find actual conversation (as opposed to just yelling random thoughts from the stage of my blog lmao) very easily becomes overwhelming, and I quickly run out of things to say and become convinced that I am the most boring person in the universe and no one would really be interested in being my friend anyway. Also life is just really damn busy sometimes! Adulting™! @seeingteacupsindragons has been amazing about working with me to figure out what works: for me, a scheduled chat day every week means we have lots to talk about, I have the energy to talk about it all, and I don't freak out about whether I'm communicating too often or too rarely. And it's ended up being one of the most wonderfully enduring and consistent friendships in my life. Marr is an incredible and patient friend and I am so grateful to know hir!

Anyway, thank you for your kind words, and I'm glad you like the blog! I will probably be making some more Moriarty posts now that I've got myself deep in writing another longfic, and then of course once the 2nd part of the manga starts up! 😊

[gaybd1]

pls allow me to make a long life update ramble here bc im sick of irl people not understanding at all

I feel like I have a feel disconnected points to make

People like me aren’t meant to get bachelor’a degrees and we’re DAMN SURE not meant to get master’s

I’m 1000% just in survival mode right now and there’s theoretically a month left to go but idek if I’ll make it that long tbh

It has taken me YEARS to figure out a healthy/sustainable work-life balance that goes with my executive dysfunction but that’s NOT POSSIBLE working full time AND doing a degree

I’ve been feeling guilty for resting at all lately (and probably should) but yet if I don’t my health suffers majorly

It has always been hard for me to get simple things done, but now I can’t even THINK about simple necessary errands like walking to the supermarket or going to get a cell phone number or updating shit at the bank because ALL my energy goes to keeping me and my dog alive, keeping a job, and trying to stay in this program

I have delayed my transition by YEARS to pay for all this which was definitely the wrong call ughhhhh

I worked SO hard all of K-12 to get into a good university, when it came down to it didn’t even want to go, was too depressed to apply to hardly any, chose my best option still not knowing what I wanted to do but forced into it and forced to take out all of these loans when I didn’t even know what they meant.

Ended up never dealing with audhd shit, trauma shit, didn’t know what I was doing with my life, tried to get jobs to pay for school but couldn’t handle class and jobs at the same time so got more depressed until I stopped going to classes altogether and got kicked out

That would have been great for me tbh but I still didn’t know what else to do so I begged them to let me back in which they did and I ended up barely graduating with some pointless major I just chose to get me a degree. And also $80k of student debt I had no way to even comprehend knowing how to use

Didn’t know what to do after that either so I ended up in retail for a couple years before I got a random rare opportunity to get me out of there and doing what I always wanted

Well. I felt like I needed to make up for lost time degree-wise and ended up basically begging myself into this half-shitty program that culminates in this masters. I applied maybe five years ago, waited a little over two to start until I had money to pay for it (this is after fleeing the US and the 80k lmao) and somehow killed the first year of it.

I took another year and a half off trying to figure out the rest of the money which I eventually did and that’s how we end up here. I will hopefully have the degree in October but will still be paying for it the rest of the school year rip

So financially this sacrifice is obviously huge and on one hand I never thought I’d be able to do it so yay me and on the other hand I have NOT been able to pursue v v important trans stuff which I notice and deal with eVERY GODDAmn day thanks AND I will also probably not be able to make my every-18-month visit home next summer with my family which also gODDAMN SUCKS because family was EVERYTHING to me growing up and they’ve all forgotten it and probably think I have too but I miss those mfers so much and they would never buy a flight to come see me so.

ANYWAY yeah in undergrad I could NOT do a job and school at the same time so I’ve been proud of being able to handle it this time around but the last fourish months of this program are so intense and I am NOT handling it

Like I have done SO WELL up to now so I feel like I just GOTTA keep going but it’s SO HARD and I’m TOO STUPID and I’ve been told my whole life I’m not meant for higher education and now BOY DO I KNOW IT

I’m just trying to keep going. I order food and groceries to my house. I’m putting off super important errands and appointments as long as I can because I JUST CANT GET THERE I CANNOT WASTE SPOONS ON CELL PHONE PLANS RIGHT NOW I’m just trying to stay alive holy shit

I hate feeling so incompetent in my personal life especially because I’ve always put my professional life first out of like. Fear of losing it. and I KNOW this “laziness” is justified bc I’m spread so thin AND have executive dysfunction and a chronic illness but holy shit it still feels bad scoob. So fucking bad.

I think what I need to do is arrange time off work just to get this all sorted and finished but I’ve literally never taken a day off in my life so I’d feel bad and have MORE anxiety figuring out how to do it lololol ahhhhhhhh

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

So I’m writing a fanfic, and due to the fact that it's a very important set piece I have to adapt, I watched Two Heroes a few weeks ago

And after reading fanfic for a good four years straight (and reading manga chapter summaries and reviews) I was fucking whiplashed by the fact that the moment Bakugo opened his mouth I was reminded why fucking hated him again

Like yeah I'm intimately aware of the fact that his personality is steamed sewage (thanks Kaminari) but good fucking Lord, Izuku didn't even beat him in the villain target practice shit (and that's another thing, I forgot how Horikoshi will literally never let Izuku have a dub over Bakugo-*** even though this is Post-Full Cowel and Stain and realistically should have won)* but he immediately fulfills his role as barky pomeranian and curses his general existence.

Thank God he's barely a factor since Melissa takes up most of his possible screentime (should have been a more important character tbh- they should have imported her to the main storyline)**

There's a reason I turn him into a minor antagonist (emphasis on minor, like a recurring mid-boss) in most fics I outline

*If you didn't know, Izuku got 16 sec on what was basically Break the Targets from Super Smash Bros Melee/Brawl, and Bakugo got 15. Todoroki beating them both is more understandable since he nuked the course and cut the knot to say.

**QUIRKLESS INVENTOR COME THE FUCK ON!!!!!! I like Mei-Mei as much as the next guy but dude, missed opportunity- hell they could have been foils.

***Bakugo has literally won all of their fights (except the first which was technically losing the entire game rather than that specific fight so it barely counts) AND All for One has generational beef with him in the newest chapter (he [in]conveniently looks like the Second User who humiliated him with all the stuff he did to oppose him), over Izuku AND All Might the holders of ONE FOR FUCKING ALL THAT ARE DUELING HIM AND TOMURA NOW

Thank fuck I don't have to watch Heroes Rising or World Hero Mission cause he actually IS important in those movies and I would legit follow his Ch 1 advice if I had to watch them

(If you want to know what happens to Bakugo in said fanfic that is currently being written [DAMN YOU EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION] basically he gets his finger bitten off when he's five by Maria (the fic’s version of Izuku) who ain't takin his shit and gets expelled from UA after he tries and fails to attack her [AS HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN] and later gets humiliated in several different fights from both heroes and his own villainous allies before getting annihilated and thrown in jail during a way more pressing matter [the training camp going way worse than in canon] as an afterthought)

All of this. It’s odd that Izuku’s not allowed to surpass him in anything. Not grades, not likability, not in combat. Even when Izuku finally gets something Katsuki’s either there to shit on him or surpass him.

[asinwhywereyouborn]

₊✩‧₊˚౨ ℋℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ, 𝓂𝓎 𝓁ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓈! ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

My name is Charlie, and this page is going to be very miscellaneous.

As a basic overview of me, I'm 19 years old, trans (he/him) and I really like plants! I have ADHD and a number of other blogs, so this one might be very erratically updated, which I apologize for in advance. I call pretty much everyone love, doll, and/or dear, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please please please let me know so I don't upset or harm you in any way. I also (attempt to) flirt quite a lot, so, again, tell me if that makes you uncomfortable.

If you couldn't tell, I really love Coraline. That and Across the Spider-Verse are my favorite films. I love psychological films and psychology in general, so if you have any recommendations of movies that will fuck up my head, please let me know!

Some things that might be featured on this blog~

｡°✩ Music I Like~ this can range from hard rock to K-pop to 2020 music from POVs to David Bowie (I adore Bowie). My favorite groups are Måneskin, Black Veil Brides, and Sleep Token. My favorite solo artists are Dean Lewis, Vana, Chappell Roan, Ashnikko, Hozier, and others. I'm sorry ToT I'm bad at picking favorites!! ✧˖°

｡°✩ Poetry~ while I won't say I stand up against the greats, I'm not a horrid poet and am interested in sharing it. I'll also be reblogging other poetry, because the poets of tumblr are wonderful and deserve the recognition. ✧˖°

｡°✩ Art~ again, I'm no Monet, but I'm not the worst artist on this site. I'll likely be sharing here, as I can't share on any other platform and if my art can make someone smile or feel something, I've accomplished my goal. Of course, I'll reblog other people's art, too, especially fanart of my favorite things. ✧˖°

｡°✩ Religion~ you might even find the occasional religious or spiritual post from me, as I'm pagan and have a lot of (apparently strange) spiritual beliefs. I'm primarily Hellenic, however I do follow Loki and, while I don't follow every god, I do believe in every god, even the Christian one (I don't like him, though. Jesus is cool.) I'd like a bit more into astrology and the like, so if anyone knows any resources for that, please let me know! The tags will be #wybiespaganismreblogs and #wybiespaganism. ✧˖°

｡°✩ Mental Health~ I have undiagnosed (but I fit damn near every parameter for) ADHD, autism, and anxiety, and I also have an eating disorder. Every post about food will have a "tw food" tag, and every ED post will have a "tw ed" tag as well because I know they can be harmful. I struggle a lot with executive dysfunction, mental spirals, social anxiety, and intrusive thoughts, and I figure that if I share my own experiences, I can help others and they can help me! ✧˖°

｡°✩ Fandom Nonsense~ I'm a bit of a dork, so I'll be posting a lot of little nerd things. This primarily will include Harry Potter (and Marauders), MCU, Criminal Minds, Percy Jackson Universe, ACOTAR, Miraculous Ladybug, and others. I've recently decided I want to start getting into anime and have watched a bit of Spy X Family, so if anyone has any recommendations, I only really have Netflix, Hulu, and I definitely don't use pirating sites because those aren't safe and they're harmful to the economy. The tags will be #wybiesfandomnonsense. ✧˖°

Basic DNI! Zionists, antisemitics, Islamophobes, radical conservatives, homophobes, transphobes, zoophiles, anti therian or furry, racists, misogynistic, science or Holocaust deniers, religious bigots, racial bigots, classists, generally cruel or bigoted individuals, people who will attempt to convert me or send me nudes, or overall dickfaces.

There is not an MDNI, but minors, please don't try to DM me without prior consent; I have no filter and don't feel like doin' time. Ageless blogs as well, unless specifically marked as adult.