#and i have my friends birthday on saturday
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birthday sex w sunghoon <3
- 🐰
HAPPY BELATED MY BELOVED BOOMF!! I feel so guilty this is so late but....well..enjoy xoxo
You had a peculiar relationship to your birthday. It’s not that you hated it, you just didn’t care for it. You didn’t people to be extra nice to you and treat you special one day of the year, if they weren’t going to bother the other 364 days. Sunghoon, however, was obsessed with you, and while yes he worshipped you every day, he took your birthday as the chance to truly go all out. And you couldn’t help but admit the fact that you were a little flustered by it. Sunghoon had refused to divulge any details leading up to the day, no matter how much you whined for any sort of clue.
When the day finally came, your alarm was a serious of slow kisses across your face—your nose, your forehead, your cheeks, gentle pecks at your list. You swat away the force invading your dreams grumbling as you turn over.
“Shhhh I’m making out with the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my dreams,” you mumble.
“Ouch, I guess I’ll just go fuck myself,” Sunghoon teases against your ear.
“Fuck me instead” you yawn out as you stretch and wrap Sunghoon in your arms.
“Hey now, you can’t be spoiling all your birthday surprises so easily,” he says with a chuckle.
You force your eyes open against the soft morning light and grin into the face of your boyfriend.
“Happy Birthday, Baby.” He greets you.
“Blehhhh,” you stick your tongue out and shake your head while you stretch. “Don’t remind me that I’m a year older.”
“And somehow, you’re still looking younger.”
You snort, although you find Sunghoon’s cheesiness endearing. You’d give him the sun, and he’d give you the moon if you both could.
***
Sunghoon let you laze in bed, but not too long. Just long enough to eat the extravagant brunch he made. There was itinerary he had planned—none of which you were privy to. But after you got ready, he took you by the hand, first leading you to your favorite cafe for a drink before taking you the ice skating rink. Both of you were former skaters, but this time the rink felt like your personal playground, both of you colliding into each other in giggling fits. The hours seemed to slip by without you noticed. Your phone consistently was lighting up with streams of messages from your friends, but you barely had time to respond, Sunghoon kept you busy. After the rink, was of course shopping, and then it was late enough in the day, you could call it for an early dinner.
“I’m hungry, Hoon, “ you pouted.
“Okay, okay, we’ll have dinner soon. Our reservation is at 6.” You checked the time on your phone—5:30. You recognized the road he was leading you towards—it was your favorite restaurant. It wasn’t frilly—in fact, it was very lowkey. But you had dozens and dozens of memories that you had made throughout the years, and the food there was nearly as comforting as your mom’s food from home. The two of you managed to get seated a little earlier in a booth near the back, it was early enough on a Saturday evening, you were just beating the dinner rush.
“You’re always so prepared,” you praised Sunghoon as the server both poured you a glass of water. You rest your chin in the palm of your hand, batting your eyelashes. The dim lighting and soft music made the rest of the world fall away, so it was just the two of you, dancing in a snow globe.
“Only the best for you,” Sunghoon responded, and you felt his leg rub up against yours underneath the table. “Did you have a good day?” He asked in follow up.
“I spent it with you, of course I had a good day.”
“No, but be honest was it fun?” “I think it was the most fun I’ve had on my birthday in a really long time.” “Good,” Sunghoon said, and he reached out to squeeze your hand.
*** The rest of dinner was perfect, and you were happily buzzed by the time you made it back to your apartment. Sunghoon opened the door and you fell inside, your hand wrapped tightly around his arm.
“I love you, Sunghoon,” you declared happily.
“I love you too, Y/N,” He responded and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Do you want dessert, by the way?”
Your brows furrowed. “Not really—“ He cuts you off with another kiss.
“Well I want dessert,” he whispers against your mouth and his hands are sliding up underneath your dress, gripping into your thighs as he presses you against the wall, dragging his lips across your jaw and down your neck. You don’t fight the soft moan that comes out of you, and you run your hands up in his hair, happy to have the night go a little longer.
You and Sunghoon are a tangle of limbs and flying clothes as he guides the two of you to your bedroom, falling down on top of you onto the plush sheets. His mouth travels up and down you like a starved man, luxuriating upon every taste of you, and he hold you tight with every twitch and roll of your body against him.
“May I?” He asks, voice husky, eyes wild as his hands slide to your panties, and you frantically nod.
Sunghoon palms your center, and the friction against your core elicits a gasp.
“Don't tease me," You rasp.
“Ah ah Ah," Sunghoon chides. “You let me take care of everything.” He’s slow and steady, drawing out every moan and gasp. His tongue expertly glides against your wet folds, lapping up every drop of sweetness he pulls from you and fter your first orgasm, he decides it isn’t enough.
“Let me in, baby,” he whispers against you, eyes glazed with desire as his mouth still glistens from you. You look up from underneath him and even though your body is exhausted, you nod.
“I want you, Hoon, I want to feel you inside me so bad.” “I want you, Y/N,” he pleads, desperate to feel one with you. And you’re so wet, that when he wets his girthy tip against you, rubbing it up and down your soaked cunt, it slips right in.
Your eyes rolls back from the sensation, and Sunghoon curses under his breath, gripping the headboard to steady himself as he pushes into you inch by inch.
“You’re so warm and perfect for me,” He croons and all you can think about is how he smells so sweet, his lips so pink, and his touch so gentle as he rolls his hips against yours.
“Hold on tight, okay baby?” He says softly, and you obediently dig your nails into his back, wrapping your legs around his and squeezing tight. He feels it, feels your pussy tighten around his cock and he buries his face into your neck, trying to pace himself as his body tenses. Sunghoon nips and presses soft kisses to the tender skin at your neck, all the meanwhile picking up pace. He deftly grabs one of the pillows and sweeps it under your hips, elevating you, and you cry out his name as the new angle hits harder and deeper.
“I want to look at your face while you cum,” Sunghoon whispers, and the dark husk of his tone brings you to the edge then and there.
“Cum with me love,” you beg, and Sunghoon wraps his hands around your hips, squeezing tight as he thrusts into you relentless. He pushes himself up a bit and brings a finger to your clit, and you gasp, feeling pleasure in every single nerve ending.
“Mmm—Hoon!” You gasp, “I’m close I’m close, I’m gonna come, I”m gonna come I’m gonna—!” You break off babbling, and Sunghoon collapses on top of you as he reaches his high and you unravel together on your bed at the same time, holding each other tight as you come down from ecstasy.
“Happy Birthday my love,” Sunghoon says with a hoarse laugh as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Happy, happy, happy birthday.”
#the muses speak#chat#chat.txt#sunghoon hard hours#sunghoon hard thoughts#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon x reader#enha hard hours#enha smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen smut
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bf!gojo who… ‧ ˚ ♡
︶︶୨୧︶︶
a/n: in honor of my birthday being literally next Saturday, I wrote this manifesting for a man or woman like this to waltz into my life.
bf!gojo who spoils his sweetheart until she has a cavity. Gifts, money, jewelry, etc. Anything you have your eye on is set to be yours the minute Gojo notices.
bf!gojo who’s so so so so gentle with his sweet girl. Being aware of the fact she’s sensitive and too sweet for a world such as one we live in. Making sure she doesn’t feel as if she did anything wrong when in fact, it’s the world who did something wrong, never you.
bf!gojo who’s the most protective yet caring man you’d ever meet. A man who has his priorities set when it comes to your safety and comfort.
bf!gojo who saved himself for since he laid eyes on you during his 2nd year of high school. Hoping and wishing you would come to him no matter how much time passes.
bf!gojo who steals a kiss from you the minute you turn the hallway to walk to your shared bedroom. Smiling oh so softly at how flustered he has you from his off guard kiss.
bf!gojo who brags about how you are such a sweetheart and he would never have to worry about any of the things that his friends have to deal with when it comes to their girlfriends.
bf!gojo who reassures you all the time. No matter how big or how little the situation is, he’ll reassure you since he feels obligated to do so as the most amazing boyfriend in the world.
bf!gojo who plans to propose to you when the time is right. Who already bought you the most perfect diamond ring, the most expensive one he found for you. Who already planned out how he wants to do it, and who already knows he can’t live his life until he has married you. <33
#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x female reader
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John Price x reader
2.5k | tw implied sui ideation, angst, comfort Thank you for being here today
John smiled to himself as he watched from the end of the bar. A few feet away, a group of three women chatted. The pub was packed, but it didn’t escape his notice that one in particular laughed so bright. The life of the party.
It was the same woman who ordered for the group, round after round. In fact, for other groups too. She’d sent rounds to random tables the past hour.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, but what caught his eye was how his battery was at 4%. A stupid idea to be out on such little juice, but the outing wasn’t planned – it was no more than an escape.
His thoughts were interrupted when the barman placed a pint next to the bourbon he’d been nursing. He opened his mouth to clarify-
“Courtesy of the lady,” he gestured to the very same woman.
John nodded at her, the corners of his eyes crinkled. She raised her own pint in acknowledgment. He finished the last of his bourbon and made his way over with the gift.
“Noticed you’ve been buying people drinks. What’s the occasion?”
“It’s Saturday night. No one should be drinking alone.” She sipped her beer.
The corners of his lips tugged into a smile. “But aren’t we all fundamentally alone?”
“Correct, but not here-“ She shrugged, teasing. “If you can help it.”
“Honest, is it your birthday?”
“Nah. Just happy.”
“Wanna be like you when I grow up.”
Her laughter was crisp yet warm. It caressed his ears despite the rumble of the establishment.
“Cheers, love.” He clinked his glass against hers and took a swig.
“Enjoy.” She followed suit before turning back to her friends.
He lingered, leaning against the bar as his gaze wandered across the room. Framed photos of vintage rugby and football stills crammed the wooden walls as they glinted under the deep yellow glow. The pub had seen better days, but from the size and chatter of the crowd, it didn’t seem like anyone cared.
He didn’t either. He didn’t pick pubs for its looks.
Behind his glass, he smiled again at the way the woman laughed so easily. She reminded him of a certain someone, a blue-eyed Scot who never stopped soaring despite his clipped wings. The one with the sun roaring in his boundless heart.
The one to do things because he was happy.
She downed her beer, and gave each of her girls a tight hug. She was leaving, but not for a short time it seemed. She turned to the barman to tap her phone on the receiver before handing him a thick wad of bills. The grin cracked his face in half as he thanked her profusely.
John took a step towards her. “Leaving already?” he asked, a little louder this time due to the swelling noise.
“It’s almost 12.”
“Are you Cinderella?”
She laughed. “Wish I was.”
“You can be. I’ll just have to make sure to find you again.”
“No, don’t think so. It’s my last night here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m moving away.”
That explained the lengthy hugs. “Oh, where to?”
“Middle of nowhere. You wouldn’t know.”
John knew a thing or two about faraway places. He spent the entirety of that day in one.
“You’re really Cinderella,” he concluded and downed the rest of his pint. “Have you got a pumpkin chariot waiting outside?”
“It’s nothing that interesting.” She grinned. “Want to enjoy my walk before it’s terribly late.”
“I can walk with you, if you’d let me. You did say no one should be alone Saturday night.“
He was nosy, clingy – not himself. But after managing to crawl out of the hellhole he called his mind, this was his first conversation of the day and he wasn’t ready to wallow in his flat again just yet.
She shrugged. “Alright, why not.”
Once more, she hugged her friends, rubbing their backs. They were teary eyed, but she wasn’t - her smile as lively as ever. He tucked a few notes under his glass before following her out.
On the pavement, she took a lungful of fresh air in, chin tipped up towards the sky. He supposed the weather was decent. At least it wasn’t raining.
His boots thudded as he walked next to her. With her hands tucked in the pockets of her light jacket, she strolled with a little bounce to her step as she looked up at the stars. They were easy to miss, but they were present, and it was enough to bring a curve to her lips.
“I’m sorry, I just have to ask,” he said in amusement. “Why are you so happy?”
“Don’t have a reason not to be.”
Could you really be happy for no reason?
He chuckled. “You make me want to dance, and I don’t even dance.”
She glanced at him teasingly. “You should. Dancing is fun.”
“You know how to?”
“No, but you don’t need to know how.”
“Want to show me?”
She turned to him with a laugh. “What, now?”
He shrugged. Her joy was contagious.
“Well, first of all, you need music.”
“Lucky you, I got the whole world in my pocket.” He pulled out his phone and clicked the power button. Once, twice. It wouldn’t light up. “I take that back,” he said with a sheepish chuckle. “Your phone then.”
“If we find a busker.”
He barked out a laugh. “What are the chances at this hour!”
“Slim to none, but you’re probably luckier than me.”
John thought of the close calls he’d had: the gunshots to the shoulders or the bullets ricocheting off his helmet that sent his ears ringing, or the desperate jumps he’d executed from cold-blooded heights. But despite everything, the gift of life was still his. Still beating and fluttering in his rough hand, stained with blood that hadn’t washed off.
He hummed. “I like to think I’m pretty lucky.”
With wonder in her bright eyes, she continued to admire the sky.
Was the secret etched onto its darkness, behind the fading clouds and dying stars? Perhaps he could find out if he squinted, even that he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to look at.
Midnight London was nothing close to the desert skies he’d witnessed; the marbled ones with a handful of diamond shards splattered and swirled across them, the ones that made him feel like he was nothing but a speck of stardust waiting for its inevitable dissolve.
But perhaps the answer wasn’t in the beauty, but rather in what you made of what you had.
John glanced at her again because, well, a smile was a smile. If the unassuming sky could inflict something so beautiful, maybe it would work on him too. Even if just a tiny bit. If he’d just give it a chance.
As they entered her neighbourhood, she pointed out the establishments. This flower shop, the owner stopped her one day to give her a stalk of red orchid. That one cafe around the corner had amazing coffee and croissant, but she couldn’t bear waiting over an hour for them ever again. The chippy across it used to be her favourite kebab shop.
She chuckled. “I came in every week for years. It’s been three years and I still miss them.”
“You reckon they know how much their kebabs are loved?”
“Probably not. People never love enough until it’s gone.”
He considered.
“What does it matter anyway? The world runs on the width and height of love, not its depth.”
He shrugged. “True.”
He’d never taken the time to sightsee. It wasn’t really his thing, but a little tour of the city - the city she was leaving - made him feel nostalgic, like he too was leaving. Was he?
It didn’t feel like it took any time at all before she stopped at a building.
She turned to him with a wince. “Sorry, I’m not inviting you in.”
“I know. That’s fine.” John smiled, like the weight had been lifted off his chest, even if temporarily. “Today wasn’t the best for me, but you’ve made it better. So I wanted to thank you.”
She let her gaze drop, and for a second she looked… distraught, before recovering. “Well, you can come in for a bit.”
“Oh, don’t- I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad,” he quickly said, but she’d headed towards the stairs. He didn’t stop her.
She pushed open the door to a studio apartment, tiny even when it was nearly empty.
“Tea?” she offered, making her way to the kitchen.
Her bed was in the far corner, a small table with two chairs by its foot. Across it, stood a dresser with a guitar leaning against it. The walls and surfaces were bare. There was no clutter apart from an empty carboard box on the floor.
“Sure.”
He didn’t judge. He too barely had enough to fill out a box, but that was his room on base, not his flat.
“You’ve got everything packed, it looks like.”
She hummed, filling the kettle up.
“Can I use your charger for a bit so I can order a ride later?”
“Of course. It’s on the nightstand.”
John made his way over, but the charger wasn’t there, nor on the floor. Nor was it in the ajar drawer. It was empty, safe for one thing. He whipped to her, chills running down his spine.
“Actually, why don’t you keep it. I don’t need it anymore,” she said lightly, flicking the kettle on.
“S’not there,” he muttered.
She scanned the room. “Oh, sorry. Then it must be by the table,” she pointed.
Wordlessly, he strode over and plugged his phone in with shaky hands. He swallowed, his throat going dry as his heart drained. He stared at the back of her head as she opened the overhead cabinet, only to chuckle to herself.
“I’ve only got a mug left. A bowl would have to do.” She set them on the counter and opened two tea bags.
He was going to be sick. He blinked rapidly, searching for something to distract himself with. His eyes fell to her guitar. He swallowed once more before he croaked, “T- That’s a gorgeous one.”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled fondly at what he was pointing at. “It is. But one of the pegs broke and I never picked it back up.”
“Can I play?”
She frowned. “You can’t. It’s broken.”
“I’ll make do.”
“But it’s useless. I was going to give it away, but no one even wants it.”
“It’s still a guitar. And it’s not broken forever. Nothing is ever broken beyond repair.”
She paused before turning back to the counter. “Feel free then,” she said quietly.
He sat crossed legged on the floor, back against her bed. He strummed and tuned the dusty instrument as best he could. As expected, it didn’t sound right because of the jammed string.
His heart continued to beat out of his chest as she poured the hot water into the mug and bowl. She set them on the table before settling next to him.
The lump in his throat only swelled, but he turned towards her. His fingers trembled as he picked the strings. The first chord. A beat. A bar and two.
He let out a long, steady exhale. On any other day, he couldn’t have endured the disharmony, but today the ringing in his ears were far louder as he inhaled.
“Love of mine, someday you will die, but I’ll be close behind. I’ll follow you into the dark.”
John’s blue eyes stayed on hers as a smile blossomed on her lips. The sight pained him. His gaze cut to the fretboard.
“No blinding lights or tunnels to gates of white. Just our hands clasped so tight waiting for the hint of a spark.”
The metal strings buried themselves further in his fingertips. He drew a sharp breath, eyes shut, wishing the tears wouldn’t spill. Not now.
“If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied. Illuminate the ‘no’s on their vacancy signs. If there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks,” he heaved, trying his best to calm his voice, but a tear finally slipped. “I’ll follow you into the dark,” he rasped.
When he looked up at her, she had turned away, wiping at her tears.
He set the guitar aside and inched closer to her. “I saw…” he started, even when he wasn’t sure what to say. “In the drawer.”
But he couldn’t help himself when he wrapped his arms around her. She clung onto him, face pressing against his shoulder.
“It hurts,” she choked between sobs, her tears seeping into his shirt. “I keep telling myself to hold on for another day… But it’s been too long, and it hasn’t stopped hurting.”
“I know. Thank you for choosing to be here, no matter how hard. Thank you for trying. Thank you for giving it a chance, every day. Thank you for letting the world love you, because it will never be the same without you.”
“I don’t know how much longer,” she mumbled into his shirt, shaking in his arms.
He rubbed her back as he let out a breath. Another tear ran down his cheek. “It might not be now. Might not be tomorrow or next week or next month, but I swear it will be okay in the end. Always. Even if the worst has happened.”
John didn’t know how long, but in the silence, he held her until her tears and its tremors dissipated. Her grip on him loosened.
“If you… Tonight…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Would you?”
She nodded. It was tiny, but it was all he needed.
He wiped his own tears with a shaky sigh. “Come on then. It’s your birthday. We can do whatever we want.”
“What?” She pulled away with a chuckle, her voice still hoarse.
“Let’s go out.”
“Where to?”
“Anywhere you want. Are you hungry? There’s waffles. Or chippy, pizza or kebab. The birthday girl can have everything.”
“What about the tea? It’s not even hot anymore.”
“Lucky me. Never been a fan of hot tea.”
She laughed through her drying tears as he chugged it down.
John Price considered himself pretty lucky, but he wasn’t lucky enough to find a busker in 2 a.m. London.
But he was lucky enough to spend hours on his tired legs walking across the city with her. They bought food - whatever that still looked appealing enough at the hour, until they decided to rest at a park. At the top of the stairs as they looked upon the rousing city, they basked in the remainder of its slumber.
At the break of dawn, in the distance, the blush of gold crept over the horizon.
She turned to him. It might not have been as wide or bright, but that smile carried something else. An empty field with the faintest sprout, stained with a tinge of hope.
“I’ll get my guitar fixed.”
It looked good on her.
Thank you for being here today. I’m so happy to have you here. Please stay safe and take care
Masterlist Ex bf Price Formula One Price
#tw implied sui ideation#call of duty#cod#cod fanfic#cod x reader#call of duty x reader#call of duty x you#cod x you#call of duty angst#cod angst#female reader#john price#captain john price#captain price#captain john price x you#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#captain price x you#john price x reader#john price x you#captain john price angst#captain price angst#john price angst
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please tell us your opinion on the movie gladiator (2000)
my opinion on gladiator (2000) is very informed by a) we are birthday twins. yay. b) it is my highschool latin teacher’s favourite film so i have watched it like. a ridiculous number of times. very enthusiastically. anyway it’s good but it’s also bad but it’s also good yknow. it’s bad for generic historical fiction film crimes BUT it also gets a pass for those crimes because THERE WAS A DREAM THAT WAS ROME BABEY. it is not about actual ancient rome it is about the dream of rome. it is about OUR dream of rome more than anything else. not teflon coated baseballs through time etc. this makes it good. but also some senator (gracchus? you invoke my best friend tiberius gracchus???) at one point is like ‘rome WAS founded as a republic’ and it does NOT get a pass for this in particular. tacitus annales line ONE: the city of rome from the beginning was ruled by kings. wgat are you TALKING about. i’m a hater until i remember there was a dream that was rome you could only whisper it anything more than a whisper and it would vanish it was so fragile. the closer you look at gladiator’s dream of rome the closer it comes to vanishing. and also spartacus and martial’s liber spectaculorum are there. big fan of the pattern of doubled duels / the whole mimesis situation also but we know this. the soundtrack fucks. THERE WAS A DREAM THAT WAS ROME BTW. and you are in elysium. and you’re already dead. THIS TOO IS AENEID BOOK 6. me when i try to learn my roman history in the future tense. anyway gladiator (2000). you could say i like it. going to see gladiator ii on saturday :-)
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worst day ever tbh
#ok i'm lying it was okay#but i was alone for the first time for a whole day and i could feel the dread and loneliness banging on my bedroom door#i did video call with my friends !!! we figured out the mod to let you play with more than four people in stardew valley#so hopefully all seven of us will be on together at some point#and i have my friends birthday on saturday#<- literally the only reason i didn't die today#i think my period is starting even tho i'm still on active pills for my pill#but it'll be like bc i skipped two periods by accident#which is so Ugh#and probably why i feel like shit#but yah. was not entirely the best day ever#glad i made it though lol#cel speaks
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*hands Chilchuck a huge bouquet of flowers and runs away. There's a note that apparently thanks him for existing and making everyone happy*
Oh, uh, thank you? Why’d they run away…
#asks#anon#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuck dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#ooc: i like to imagine he’s just chilling out blowing bubbles and then this happens lol#ALSO i’m opening the ask box a day early becuase i forgot i’ll be out of town on saturday#for a family friends birthday#and it’s in an area i won’t have a lot of service#and also i like being present in the moment#so i won’t be able to monitor on sat#so friday it is 💖#OH ALSO i’m gonna start posting the manga caps i edit a lot for this blog on my other chilchuck blog#everyone’s free to use them for whatever i don’t need credit just have fun lol
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It's my birthday tomorrow so I hope y'all post your best Chris pics.
#pet shop boys#chris lowe#i just want to have an excuse to see my man but it really is my birthday tomorrow#my irl pethead friend's birthday was on saturday and i haven't recovered yet... so much psb everywhere i was in heaven
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Such a busy week…
#Psat. Mom birthday tomorrow#im making a cardboard cutout of ross lynch for my friends birthday on saturday and then i have a pj party on friday#and i still have homework and crocheting to do. Help
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hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro
#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT#account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze#from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU!#a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK!#i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT!#i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks.#i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND#now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits#so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it.#i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it#by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine#and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol.#anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but..#they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!!#i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer#and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me'#anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good#genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah#just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow#ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me
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#today I am sad about something that I know objectively is dumb#my 30th birthday is next week and the party will be next Saturday and I’m having a dinner at a nice restaurant in town#I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30 and never thought I would but now somehow I have and so this birthday is like…#a really huge deal to me you know#and I always wanted to be able to have a big party to celebrate this specific occasion and in my head I pictured all my friends/family there#I figured this would be one of the biggest parties I’d ever get to throw because to me this is the biggest milestone I’ve gotten to so far#but out of all the people I’ve invited the most that will probably reasonably show is about 10#and even that’s a bit iffy because tbh I’m pretty sure my bestie will flake on me like he always does#and if he doesn’t show up that might just end the friendship but that’s another matter entirely#also iffy because I haven’t gotten a lot of responses still even though I made the event and sent invites two weeks ago#I just… thought I had more friends than that if that makes sense#like I had bigger parties with more people attending in high school and I barely had any friends then#I’ve thrown low key Halloween parties in my mom’s apartment that had more people show up#now I’m at the most important moment of my life (so far) and I’ll barely have anyone with me#lately it just feels like less and less people care about me for real despite how many I know around work or how many are on my Facebook#it feels like my world keeps shrinking and I really don’t want that because it’s been small enough as it is#I just feel like I’m never really going to find my place or have big groups of friends like everyone else#I’m never going to have a group of friends or people I can rely on to spend time with me when needed#as it is planning things gets harder the older we get anyway just due to needing to tend to adult life#guess I still just want what everyone else has and I don’t know why I can’t have those things#and I know it’s stupid and selfish and whiny but I really want to cry because I’m so depressed that I have barely anyone in my life at all#barely anyone to celebrate something so important to me and so few who even seem to care at all either#I’m grateful for everyone I do have honestly#but that doesn’t offset this weird pain in my chest over this whole situation#maybe I should just curl up and cry until this all passes and I can go back to pretending it doesn’t matter#personal
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#my dad decided to book a last minute vacation and it’s messing up my work and my birthday party and I’m so angry#like I was so excited to stay home all week but now I have to trade shifts with someone and I’m gonna have to spend a bunch of time with my#parents with no privacy in a hotel room and I don’t even think this vacation is in our budget I just want to stay home and do nothing and#maybe hangout with friends#and the day I have to get a shift change is Saturday the day we have the least amount of changes possible because almost everyone works#so now my manager is gonna be mad at me again and I’m not gonna get a raise
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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My team surprising me with Porto’s cake/food today and sending me a $50 GC and a few other gifts getting shipped to my house :’))). They also decorated my desk! they’re so lovely and kind man
#the other gifts was a vegetable chopper which I have been wanting LMAO and two villains are destined to die volumes#and my coworker said he’s gonna get me a gift soon in like two weeks#birthday on Saturday but I’m off tomorrow and Friday to hang out w friends
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Does this mean we might get your extended thoughts on the reunion scene, if you're doing some longer posts? :)
That's the plan for the weekend, anon!
#it's my birthday tomorrow! so i'm taking the day off work#going to a yoga class facetiming with my sister + nephews probably veging out online a little before#meeting friends in town for drinks and then#my little brother's very sweetly taking me to a play he knew i wanted to see#and then we'll probably go for drinks lol#so i'm planning to write saturday off too and just potter and do some gardening and answer some of the longer asks in my inbox#i'm trying to like#actually have a restful weekend as a treat#as a birthday present to myself#but also because next week's probably going to be hectic for a whole host of reasons
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Sm to do
#low key dont feel like doing all the plans i have coming up#tomorrow nothing#but friday house party saturday my boyfriend sunday my school friend's birthday bowling thing#next week my boyfriends summer house probably and then we leave for Amsterdam#at least 3 days in a car will be boring and calm
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#i hate how wishy washy my social life is in this city like.#like everything has to be Planned and is a Thing and it’s like. i don’t want to go to a fancy group dinner#or get invited to a birthday party#i just want someone who will go to target with me#or come over and keep me company while i do laundry and then get tacos after like.#something that Actually feels intimate…idk#but now its like. i either go to this fancy dinner with a big group (who are mostly couples) and at least have something to do today#or. i spend my saturday alone.#like even the friends i have 1 on 1 its like. plans have to be made in advance if we wanna go get coffee or something#like nothing is just. spontaneous and casual its alk a Thing#but also like fuck. i just spent whole week at work alone i don’t wanna be alone in my weekend too like fuuuuuck this#and its like. i can’t help but feel like its my fault but i know its been hard because i work remote so im so fucking isolated#sometimes i think i should just move home but i know thatll just make me feel like i failed#at like. moving to a big city and making it work#but also i know its not just me like lonely city by olivia laing blah blah blah but goddddddd#i am a social creature!!!! i want to be around people!!!!! but in a meaningful and fulfilling way!!!!!!!#anyway thats my therapy session for today see u next time#m
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