#and i hate that i could also understand the nuance in the original language so it hits deeper??

[park-hyungsik]

The Midnight Studio ep. 14: Overtime

[djarins-cyare]

Get to know your moots!

Thank you for the tag, @djarinmuse! I love these little questionnaires 😊. Challenging myself to be more succinct in my answers for once (yeeeah, don’t all hold your breath 😅)

What’s the origin of your blog title?

In a stunning lack of originality, I just used my writing pseudonym for my blog title: Jyar’ika. If it’s not obvious, that’s the Mando’a word cyar’ika (sweetheart) with a J for Jem replacing the C. It’s pronounced JAH-ree-kah, with emphasis on the first syllable (like Jessica or Erika). And on my sideblog, since it’s a rec blog, I’ve just titled it “Jyar’ika enjoyed…” because apparently WYSIWYG with me 🤗.

OTP(s) + shipname:

Oh man, there’ve been many over the years. I was an early X-Files fan, so MSR in real-time, of course. I shipped both Bangel and Spuffy at different points. Big on Polivia in the first few seasons of Fringe (when I discovered fanfiction existed). Fell completely down the fanfic rabbit hole with Carter/O’Neill from Stargate SG-1 (who unsatisfyingly never seemed to get a portmanteau ship name). Those are probably the main ones.

Favourite colour:

Teal; all shades thereof.

Favourite game:

It’s gotta be the old point n’ click PC games I played as a kid in the 90s, but I can’t pick one favourite. Big fan of the Monkey Island games, the Indiana Jones games, Maniac Mansion and Day of the Tentacle – basically anything LucasArts. Also, every game in the Broken Sword series, the Gabriel Knight series, and the Tex Murphy series. These are a fraction of the titles I played and loved.

Song stuck in your head:

I was doom-scrolling on Twitter the other day and saw (didn’t even hear!) a tweet saying Take That’s song ‘Shine’ was released 18 years ago, and it’s so iconic that my brain immediately played it to me. It’s been in there for days now! I was recently shocked and saddened to learn that most Americans don’t know about Take That 😱😭. I was never a massive fan or anything, but they are UK pop legends.

Weirdest habit/trait:

People at work think it’s weird that I don’t like speaking on the phone. If I have to have a phone call, I need to know what time it’ll be so I can prepare. But it’s because, without a visual of the other person, I find reading between the lines of neurotypical conversation more difficult. I can do it, but it’s an effort, and I need time to prepare for that kind of brain-taxing interaction.

Hobbies:

The Mandalorian, duh. Writing fics about it, mainly.

If you work, what’s your profession?

I’m in criminal law, basically doing the lawyers’ jobs for them because I have a critical eye for detail and can catch stuff they miss when preparing cases. But I never did my LPC, so I don’t have to go to court and do all the scary legal argument stuff. Win.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

Author of a well-loved fiction series. I aim to make this happen one day, though at the rate I’m going, I’ll probably be retired when it finally happens! It comforts me to know that Douglas Adams always found writing to be a slow and arduous process, too.

Something you’re good at:

The English language, I guess. I have a good understanding of the technical side of writing.

Something you’re bad at:

In contrast to the above, the poetry of writing. I often struggle to ensure my writing is sufficiently dynamic and beautiful, and I have to go over things many times to try and inject more soul into my words. I’m glad I’m aware of this weakness, though – every day’s a school day, and there’s plenty of time and space to improve.

Something you love:

The Mandalorian, duh. Specifically Din Djarin.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

The Mandalorian, duh. Specifically Din Djarin.

Something you hate:

I try not to hate; this world needs more love. And if I can’t avoid hating, I do it quietly and won’t share it. So, I’ll pass on this question, thanks.

Something you collect:

Words. I love learning new ones. I love learning additional definitions and nuances of ones I already know. I can never have enough words.

Something you forget:

The time. Seriously, I have no sense of time whatsoever and am late for everything. I’ve just looked at the clock and realised it’s coming up 6:00am, and I haven’t gone to bed yet because I didn’t realise how late it is.

What’s your love language?

Of the five, mine is definitely the ‘acts of service’ one. I show love by trying to ease the burdens of others, and I feel loved when people do the same for me. At the other end of the scale is the ‘receiving gifts’ one… I can’t pick out gifts to save my life, and I always feel awkward receiving a gift I haven’t asked for and don’t need. Gifts are almost a hate language for me!

Favourite movie/show:

The Mandalorian, duh.

Favourite food:

I’m gonna say pizza. I don’t get to have it much anymore because I’m eating healthier these days, but I still indulge in the occasional Domino’s order.

Favourite animal:

Can I say Din Djarin when he’s been dosed with sex pollen? 😏

Are you musical?

I guess this is a yes because I’ve played a variety of musical instruments since the age of 5 (starting with the humble recorder, then violin, piano, guitar and other random stuff like the harmonica and ukulele) and was in choirs for the whole of my childhood and adolescence. I performed in several big shows, including a performance at the Royal Albert Hall of Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana (even if you don’t know the name, you’ll likely know one particular movement of the cantata; it’s been overused in ads, etc). But it’s been years since I played or sang anything, so maybe notsomuch anymore.

What were you like as a child?

As a very young child: unknowingly autistic. This mainly manifested in me ruining family vacations by refusing to step foot on a beach if there was any sign of seaweed, or enter a restaurant with ceiling fans, or get in a swimming pool if there was a mosaic on the pool floor. Anything outside my regular routine was terrifying to me, but nobody knew about autism in the 80s, so my parents just thought I was overly sensitive. I learned how to mask pretty early, though, so by the time I went to school, I’d figured out how to fit in. Despite that, I was always the kid who had intense hyperfixations (boys, TV shows, bands, hobbies). I still am, really!

Favourite subject at school?

English literature. Fiction was (and still is) my happy place. I also had a massive crush on my maths teacher when I was 13-14, so I was a maths nerd for a whole year. I still remember the quadratic equation!

Least favourite subject?

Religious education. It was the one subject I failed my exams in, mainly because I’m an atheist, and as a kid, I couldn’t see the point of learning about something I didn’t believe in. Later, I realised that exploring different worldviews helps us better understand ourselves and how to respect and appreciate diversity, so as an adult, I’ve made an effort to make up for my childish ignorance by learning as much as possible.

What’s your best character trait?

My autism. It heightens my attention to detail and makes me especially concerned about others’ happiness and well-being.

What’s your worst character trait?

My autism. It frustrates neurotypicals who don’t understand why I act or respond in particular ways.

If you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be?

I would’ve gone to bed earlier. It’s 6:31am, and I’m tired.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

I’m not interested in going backwards, so nobody really. I’d probably go forward simply to check that the world didn’t end and that the USA didn’t turn into the Free American Independent Theocratic Hegemony (F.A.I.T.H.) or anything. (That’s a Bobiverse reference for anyone who’s never read Dennis E. Taylor… which, TBF, is probably most of you since his novels are pretty niche. I recommend reading them, though – super fun and packed with geeky pop culture references).

Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!):

I finally got around to reading You Were Marked by @handspunyarns last week, and let me tell you, I could not stop binging it. It’s been a long time since I was last addicted to a fic to this degree. I’d had it on my TBR list for a while, but I’d prioritised others because I wasn’t sure if it would resonate with me since I don’t see any of myself in the main character… but boy, was I wrong! It’s extraordinary, compelling, and at times heartbreaking and agonising, but so well-written with exquisite worldbuilding and a daringly original plot, all of which seared it into my mind forever because I’ve never read anything like it. I implore you all to try it if you haven’t already. It’s a masterpiece 💜.

I usually check to see if the people I tag have already done the game, but I’ve really gotta sleep, so I’m just gonna tag at random here. I’m really sorry if any of you have done this already.

@604to647 @cheekychaos28 @cw80831 @darthbeebles @desert-fern

@dindenimchicken @frickatives @here-briefly @ishabull @jessthebaker

@lilac-boo @mosssbawls @nervoushottee @papurgaatika @qunariagenda

@roughdaysandart @the-color-is-black @the-mandawhor1an @toomanytookas @zaddymandalorian

[baiwu-jinji]

i apologize in advance if this ask sounds kinda weird, but i'm kinda curious to hear your thoughts on how the narrative treats qi rong, mostly because i think interacting only with the eng version/fandom might take some context from his character. i've seen people complaining that some fans woobify him too much, others complaining that some people treat him as a pure hate-sink when he's more than that. while i do think he's a multi-layered character, i do sometimes get the feeling that mxtx did not go easy on him, with the revised version being even crazier than before (some even say he was given a bit of onesided incestuous subtext with xl, but i wonder if that interpretation isn't just the result of weirdly translated lines in eng). i think this might be because he strikes me as a meta personification of sorts for toxic fans who place their identity and self-worth on just one person they completely idolize, and when that person is shown to be imperfect they immediately turn against them, and we know mxtx has had experience with those kinds of people.

i do think he's largely meant to be seen as unsympathetic overall, though i think there's strong nuances with his character as well. since his childhood he always lacked something and never really had a well formed identity, his prince name being symbolic of his life. he projected himself onto xl in life, and he kept on absorving the worst traits of the people around his life without really understanding them in order to feel powerful and important, from the xianle nobles to the signature traits of the other calamities. he also strikes me as very... "little brother"-coded, in the sense that he keeps looking for any sort of recognition and seems unable to mature. even when he hates xl i think he still somewhat craves his attention, and qr only developed a bit when he was forced to let go of this role by accidentally becoming a father instead. i think it's also interesting that he started out a lot like his father, but ended up sharing the fate of his mother.

i do wonder how the cn fandom views him and if he's nearly as divisive as he is here. i'd also be pretty interested in seeing some meta about him from cn fans. again, it feels like some context is missing by not speaking the language the book was originally written in...

Hi! I think the narrative basically takes the same stance as Xie Lian in its attitude towards Qi Rong, which is the sort of "I can't love you but I don't want to hate you, the best I could give you is indifference". I agree that Qi Rong isn't meant to be lovable, but MXTX isn't dismissive of him as a character either - she devoted almost an entire chapter to Qi Rong's death, let him speak his mind, and gave him some form of closure.

Qi Rong having onesided incestuous subtext with XL (!!) in the revised version is...very interesting haha, I haven't read the revised version so I can't know (someone please tell me where to get the revised version ><). Although I want to speculate that even if there is some incestuous vibes, it's not truly sexual - it's probably libido directed the wrong way when you're lusting over someone else's identity, but not over that person per se. Qi Rong lusts over XL's identity in the sense that he wants to be XL - or rather he wants to be perfect, worshipped, all-powerful etc. (bit of digression, there's an underrated psychological thriller called Cracks starring Eva Green, if you watch it you'll know what I mean)

I don't have the impression that he's truly divisive in the Chinese fandom, but then I don't engage with the Chinese fandom that much so I could totally be wrong. And I don't think any context is missing for English readers either (except maybe the humour of QR's obscene language might be lost in translation?) because human nature is the same everywhere, and Qi Rong's distorted psyche is more a matter of human nature than cultural context.

As for Chinese fandom's view of QR, there's this great meta I translated and posted a few days ago, and I found some other opinion pieces about Qi Rong on Zhihu (Chinese equivalent of Reddit), as you'll see they're quite diverse.

A lot of Chinese readers say that what stands out most about Qi Rong is his comedic role in the story because his cursing and name-calling are really funny; a lot of people also mention being really touched by his self-sacrifice to save Guzi. I found this one post that has a similar view to yours, which is QR represents MXTX's toxic fans:

"I always felt it's the author admonishing her fans in an implicit way not to be as crazy as Qi Rong [...] My guess is that the author can't ask her fans outright not to act in this way because that would hurt people who support her but are immature, however she can't turn a blind eye to these people going around provoking more resentment, so she creates QR to remind her fans not to be like QR, or they'd appear as unlikable as QR to the public. But the author still feels symathy for thse fans, so she didn't depict their representation in the novel as totally incorrigible - QR retains some humanity and is a little adorable when he starts to care about people."

I also saw opinions about the narrative (or rather Xie Lian) not going easy on Qi Rong, like this one:

"Xie Lian is clearly a very good person but why is he so heartless to QR? He eventually treated QR as a joke and a burden, but QR was once a true follower of his. At first I thought XL was perfect and cares about everyone, but he never really cared for his cousin. When I read that XL felt neither joy nor sorrow when QR died saving Guzi, my heart chilled. If XL could forgive the masses who betrayed and reviled him, why can't he forgive his cousin who once followed him whole-heartedly?"

There're also people saying that Qi Rong's potential divisiveness is what makes him a great villain, like this post:

"What MXTX's well-received villains have in common is a tragic childhood and not being loved growing up, and they only have a soft spot for one person. Although these villains did horrible deeds and are unrepentant, they all reserve some kindness in their heart for the only person who's good to them. This contrast is striking and touching, yet most likely to cause controversy. Therefore, MXTX knows very clearly how to create a memorable villain, and I admire that."

Someone else says when they read about Qi Rong they "don't know whether to laugh or cry" (XL's signature emotion hehe). They add that "this is where MXTX is successful in writing a villain - you both hate and pity him; he's infuriating, but you don't really want to see him die either."

Another view is that since Qi Rong has no filter, he sometimes serves as the truth-telling voice. For example, when XL wanted to keep Lang Qianqiu in the dark about the truth of the Gilded Banquet Massacre, Qi Rong blurted out the truth.

There's also a question posted on Zhihu that asks why people like Qi Rong, and there're some interesting answers. There's one post that says "I find him attractive because he's depicted as alluringly ghostly in a lot of fan art like vampires in Twilight" haha

Another post says they like Qi Rong "because he's guilelessly wicked, while XL and Hua Cheng are hypocrites" emmmmm

Another one says they like Qi Rong because "being Xie Lian is exhausting, he's so wronged but he just endures it all, while Qi Rong just launches verbal assults whenever someone rubs him the wrong way, it's so cathartic. The most difficult thing in the world is to be a good person, because as soon as you do one thing wrong, everyone criticises you; but if you're a bad person, even if you did just one good thing, everyone praises you for it and shows you pity".

[aquaquadrant]

Popping in to say that I’ve been following ur htp au since like,,, October last year? I’ve left some asks before about how much I love it (I was that anon who was needing out about tango and bravo’s names and the international flag code from several months ago + a few other asks)

The ending was the most beautiful and SATISFYING piece of literature I’ve ever written. Genuinely. Wtf. And I’ve read a lot of books. I’m an English/creative writing major and your work is so beautiful, the story arcs, every loose end was tied up, you’re like the new standard for awesomeness. Seriously.

every loose end was wrapped up so well, all the closure and follow up we wanted, explanations of things like Scáil, hels meanings, their admin, even other hermits at the end there that were mentioned about in asks before but I never thought would be relevant in the main story. Things we didn’t even need to know like bX I was not expecting at all, I was content with just what we knew about him but you made it even better.

also the callbacks to earlier chapters, earlier moments and little jokes, bravo and Timmy’s not a builder moment was awesome, the way you portrayed bravo and tangos mindsets was phenomenal and with such intricacies. Stunning. And you didn’t force a reconciliation between bravo and timmy either, so natural.

Everything had a reason, an explanation, even the intricacies of herobrine? wasnt expecting that at all. Or Alex???! You didn’t need to include that detail BUT YOU DID AND I LOVE IT

the way you explained the greater player universe learning about hels, also the pausing on the red stone tutorial!! Loved that part. The pov switches and pacing of the last chapter p 1 and 2 were perfect. Well executed to keep the reader able to understand but still enough suspense. Not to mention once again your way of capturing each persons way of talking. Bravo having similar vocab to tango especially really drives home their similarities.

The way atlas breaks. It’s so hard to make an ending with someone like him SATISFYING because man I’ve read so many stories where it’s just not it. But you did it so fucking well. And subjected to retail salesman lifestyle on top of that? Wonderful. His damn glasses finally broken. Good. Or The watchers and listeners in the background too! Loved that. You explained things that were talked about in asks so well that even those who don’t read the asks could understand.

Most of all emotional and moral nuance. So perfectly explained. As someone who used to have a hard time with moral ocd I relate a lot to the obsession with good vs evil that I’ve had to come to terms with in my own journey and I can really see that mirrored in this fic, just like the characters learn.

And in addition to it all, I loved the ending with the Minecraft credits end message. You not only made it interesting and beautiful story and awareness of the player’s existence without being too confusing, but perfectly replicated the voices of the end credits characters. The tone and language that the original has. Last week I beat the enderdragon for the first time. I used to only play on public servers or private worlds with friends, even in single player I was a big coward and hated fighting mobs even with keep inventory and no mob griefing, they just stress me out!! But I did it for the first time and I read through the entire end credits of a game I’ve loved for so long for the first time and it made me cry. And you replicated it perfectly which is SO hard to do. The benevolence of the universe, no plot holes to be found about the logic of hels, the voices of the two people and their storytelling and acknowledging of the story. The universe is described so similarly in cannon about the good and bad that it’s like the au fits perfectly. The “why them?” Beautiful. It was like deja vu scrolling through like the end credits with the same benevolent warmth that envelops you like a wordless, comforting presence from this fictional universe. A touching moral about games and stories and people. And just like the end credits of both the game and this fic said, there will be another game and another story. The universe still loves the player just as it did before. This was such a special story to read and I am so glad I did. Genuinely, this will stay with me for a long time, we can learn a lot not just about writing and storytelling techniques, but about ourselves and eachother too.

Thank you.

AUUGHHHH…. genuinely one of the loveliest reviews i’ve ever gotten… your reaction to the finale is everything i could’ve hoped to achieve. thank you thank you THANK YOU <333

[voidxfaithx]

The past six months of working as a volunteer tutor at a conversational English and integration group have genuinely changed my life and as I move on to the next stage of my life I will constantly be thinking about the countless people who have entered and exited my life and made some kind of positive impact on me, even if I only interacted with them for an hour or two.

In all of this time, however, I think one of the instances that I will be thinking (and laughing) about for the rest of my life will probably be the time when at the end of a session one woman from Ukraine asked me to explain a term her son had frequently been using when playing online with his friends. “He keeps saying ‘sigma’. He’ll say with his friends ‘what a sigma’. What does this word mean, ‘sigma’?” I had to try my hardest not to fucking scream laughing. She was also laughing when she was asking the question so she clearly knew that the word was something pretty silly.

Both in the moment, when the shock was still on me, as well as after the fact, now that I have the luxury of thinking through what the best way to answer this question would be, I still have no idea how I could explain it in a way that could be in any way comprehensible. Because I couldn’t just explain to her what a fucking Sigma Male is, since that’s not at all what he actually means when he uses that word in that context. I also think explaining the concept of irony would both be difficult within itself as well as incomplete without an extra explanation of what irony even means in the context of the internet because, like, if I try to explain the origins of the word as a term used by incels that has since become subsumed into mainstream English language Internet meme culture then there are bound to be misunderstandings with regards to the nuances of this kind of language usage. Like, I don’t want this woman to get that idea that she’s left her homeland to flee a fucking war only to find that her seven year old child has been indoctrinated into an esoteric, woman-hating cult. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

This all being said, what this interaction has really got me thinking about is just how much the internet has changed how slang and linguistic memes are formed, making the generational divide even wider than before. And that’s without even considering the fact that is a second language in this case, seeing as I’d have just as hard a time explaining this exact same concept to my own parents. What hope has this woman of understanding? While many might bemoan these internet terms seeping their way into everyday language usage as “brainrot”, I think it also goes a long way to show that our modern, internet-addled form of English (and I’m sure this is the case in other languages as well) has actually integrated more complex forms of irony and linguistic play into everyday usage than previous versions. New slang words can no longer be explained away as just being “another word for cool” or something like that. The etymology and original context of slang is no longer ancillary to its practical conversational meaning.

This all being said, I don’t think navigating internet brainrot is ever going to be a priority when it comes to language teaching in the future. The woman who asked me the question that prompted this whole post isn’t going to be any worse off in her English usage for not being able to accurately drop brainrot into any of her everyday social interactions. Still, I do think there’s a lot to be said about the new challenges that the internet has posed when it comes to language learning. I also think the whole situation is very funny.

[thatssummer]

get to know your tumblr mutuals!

tagged by @taeraenini, @nfly5, and @sillyabtmusic thank you guys <2

what's the origin of your username?

demian my soloist ever and also the word demain because french because I am french (like. only culturally though)

OTP(s) + shipname

tbh I haven't really consumed any media that you can ship characters in recently so I can't think of any. And I [aromantic] don't really ship anyway so

song stuck in my head

weirdest habit/trait

I actually feel horrible if I wake up and the sun's out because I just feel groggy and un-alert the rest of the day.

hobbies

reading, writing poetry and prose, traditional visual art (haven't done digital in a hot minute), rock climbing and working out, hiking, I also love thrift shopping

if you work, what's your profession?

currently unemployed 🤓

if you could have any job you wish what would you have?

librarian, museum curator, something in design?

something you're good at

pirating things :p

something you hate

retellings of classics (and by that, I mean graeco-roman) that proclaim to be feminist because a) they're often not?? b) they do away with any understanding of the historical context and nuance that comes from it c) I could go on but that's just a sneak peek into one of my many classics student™️ rants

something you forget

I'm really good at forgetting where I've put something down

your love language

touch, gift giving. also feeding people

favourite movies/shows

movies: Paprika and Millenium Actress (Satoshi Kon), Key of Life (Kenji Uchida), Angel's Egg (Mamoru Ohii), Spirited Away and Nausicaa (Miyazaki)

shows: Cowboy Bebop, D.P, I actually don't watch that many shows

what were you like as a child?

a NERD. and an athlete. and an artist.

favourite subject in school

latin, history

least favourite subject

math

what's your best/worst character trait?

best: I laugh at things easily

worst: I judge people way too much

if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

as a short king I would love to be only a little bit taller so I could still be a short king just not *that* short

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

I would love to have been able to hear Stokely Carmichael speak. Or hear Ginsberg's historic first performance of Howl. I really want to meet Angela Davis one day (and I almost had the opportunity to somewhat recently), so I hope she won't become a valid answer to this question anytime soon.

tagging (if you haven't already done this): @hoforwonho, @donghyuckkies, @mizugucci, @hwanwooyoung, @fairyjiu, @kingleedo, @kimkaitual

[waddingham]

20 Questions for (Fanfiction) Writers

hihi sage :) @broadwayfreak5357 thanks for tagging me 🥰

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

50

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

744,207

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

leg fic 💀

wildflowers (which has slowly crept up this far? somehow?)

two sweethearts and the summer wind :)

it's a symptom of your touch (it makes me so happy this is still top 5 lol)

someday 🥺

4. What fandoms do you write for?

actively right now, just ted lasso. but i've written for schitt's creek, twin peaks, and written for but never shared x-files

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

listen. i'm just a severely antisocial girl, staring at almost 4,000 comments, wishing LIKE HELL i could be that person 😭 i did originally on my first tl fic and i so badly wanted to keep going because i am SO grateful for every comment and reader I get, but now I'm so behind I genuinely wouldn't know where to start

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmm. i don't do angsty endings really. maybe in the cracks of light just bc i was talking about it with a friend once and they said they genuinely didn't know which section was truly the dream section and i'm obsessed with that idea.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably someday? I don't know. i end most of my fics in a happy place. or at least a hopeful one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thankfully. i don't mind criticism but hate would piss me off

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, i do. the sexy kind.

10. Do you write crossovers?

no. they don't hold much interest for me

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, but i had a joke from one of my early fics stolen which is honestly just funny lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no. that sounds so stressful fldndkdnd

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

it's gotta be mulder and scully. the way they ate my brain up for years on end......the way I read quite literally EVERY fic on gossamer.....most timeless ship on the planet

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh the western au. rest in peace my beloved </3

16. What are your writing strengths?

ive been told i write really gutteral emotions in a way that comes across very strongly. unfortunately i don't really know how I do that but I'm very glad people feel it when they read certain stories of mine.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i can be too heavy handed and overwrite things. in my more recent wips, I've gotten a lot better at showing instead of telling and trusting the reader to understand the nuances rather than explain them. also if I overthink a plot, or the order of scenes, it literally all falls apart. if I do anything but flow along from one scene to the next, I can't put the story back together. (again — rip western au)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I don't know why I'd have thoughts on this. if it makes sense, go for it. I've done it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

x-files, but as far as posted fic, it's some twin peaks ficlets that you could not pay me to reread, but i can't bring myself to orphan lol

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

this is a hard question because in terms of how the final product came out, it's probably a song of mourning, but my favorite experience with posting a fic was most definitely the escort au, BUT my favorite ones to actually write have been the vampire au and someday (though she needs [and will soon be getting!] a major edit) so i don't know. it doesn't help that if I have even a slight dislike of a project I simply won't post it lmao so the things that have made it up are there because I really liked them

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

What inspired you or made you decide to start writing fics?

Escapism.

I've been writing since I entered double digits in age. Pen and paper first and then eventually moved to keyboard because it was easier to hide a document as a homework assignment. I think lots of people daydream about living in different worlds. I just wanted to write all those down. Both worlds I created and those created by others. I found it really helped giving me a grasp of the English language. It's also ever evolving, which my idea of fun, lol.

I won't dwell on it here. Grew up in an abusive household. Physical, emotional, fucked me up beyond repair, had a very warped construct of existence. But an activity that wasn't punished was reading books since it was directly linked to education. And so I read. I read a lot and way above my grade level (pushed by my curiousity and expectations to excel beyond all others). To this day, I can't read novels in a non-obsessive manner so I don't do it often unless I have large chunks of time set aside (interferes with my other responsibilities lol). With reading came writing as I wanted to have an improved understanding of the nuances of the English language. I wrote (and still write) both original work and fanfiction. I assure you most of the first ten years of my writing was written very poorly. Thankfully those hard drives corrupted. I sometimes posted it, sometimes didn't. I was part of various writing communities, too.

This blog is only BTS because I need to hone in on one topic, basically. It doesn't mean my wiring only consists of BTS stories. (Probably also explains why I have carpal tunnel, add on my gaming habit and oof). I started this blog because 1) I love BTS (that might be obvious but who knows), 2) I wanted there to be more options for stories with protected sex, and 3) I felt their Korean identity was somewhat lost in westernized perspectives. I know there's Korean fanfiction; I'm mostly referring to written in English fics. At the time of starting this blog, I was on the journey to reclaim the hobbies I had back then. Those hobbies had existed to keep me alive at the lowest times in my life (the first two decades, yay). I could only create in darkness. I hated that. I wanted to change that. But I needed something to hold me accountable. So I spent some days listening to 'D-2' on repeat and thought, fuck it, and created whatifyoulivelikethat.

Really sorry to Min Yoongi that the lore of me creating a porn blog was replaying 'People' and taking his words to heart. I don't think he meant it like that. XD It's too late now...

[duckiemimi]

thoughts on this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/alluratron/729365875383222272/thoughts-on-gojo-satoru

it def gave me a different perspective of ch 236 and also Gojo… i guess i never really understood him (i mean granted i only check in on the manga to see who’s survived so far 😭)

definitely interesting and a new perspective for me, too!

that was a lovely read! i can’t read japanese, so it’s great to see the nuances in gojo’s words from the original language itself. with this post in mind, i will say that while i can understand how gege wrote him, i don’t understand why.

it’s true that gojo is different from everyone else! the way he processes information and emotions is a very obvious indicator that he is. but instead of a match in strength, i assumed the biggest lesson he had to learn as a character framed as “alone” by everyone else in the series was connection and interdependence. as in, instead of finding or making people on par with him, i assumed that the work he needed to do as a character was to realize that he could be understood despite the gap in power between him and everyone else. i mean, he’s found that place of understanding before with geto. and that was even after he became the strongest alone. but maybe he was written without the intention of growth. then why write him the way he is?

perhaps the fault really lies in the english translations because by saying “allies” in english, i assumed he meant “support,” as in supporting him as fellow jujutsu sorcerers. it implies that there is a burden to bear and that he wishes to have more people to shoulder it with him, on the same height (similar levels; “catch up with me”). i wouldn’t exactly use the word “allies” to describe a group of people fostered to be on par with gojo for fun’s sake only.

but he is a nuanced character, so perhaps he does care about his responsibilities as a jujutsu sorcerer, and he simultaneously wants other jujutsu sorcerers to have as much fun as he does. but then why doesn’t he just unilaterally establish a new system, since he hates the higher ups and how they run it? geto posed a good question; it’s possible for gojo. is the system a weakness? is his name and lineage a weakness? i don’t understand why we were given so many empathic scenes of him shit-talking the higher-ups when he could just flip the world upside down. if he were leading jujutsu (instead of being somewhat of a figurehead like before), then he could foster people who could have as much fun as he does with jujutsu, right? he could make jujutsu fun for everyone, or at least he could appoint people to make it fun, right? then why hold back?

i think the problem with the writing is that while gojo is a very self-centered character, undeniably arrogant with the power to back it up, he doesn’t exist in a vacuum. gege wrote in politics and a whole world beyond just gojo and his powers, gege wrote in characters who render gojo unmoving. so it’s strange to see gege pick and choose whether or not the canon world affects gojo that day. it’s not consistent. but i mean, gege hates the guy, i guess. so it tracks, as tracking goes.

if so many people see his character a certain way, regardless of language, maybe the problem lies in the readability of his character. assume your readers are smart, yes, but don’t leave things so vague and messy for them to figure it all out by themselves. there’s an obvious incongruity in knowledge between the author and the readers that should be leveled. is he supposed to develop and reach a resolution, like many people assumed he would, or is he supposed to die with his “original sin”? the transition between the gojo we saw in volume 0, in hidden inventory, and even right before his sealing to the gojo we see in 236 is not effective enough to answer that.

[shewholovestoread]

GYEONGSEONG CREATURE PART 1 - THE OVERVIEW (PART 1 OF 2)

Good news: I finished Gyeongseong Creature Part 1 last night, in one sitting.

Bad news: Now I have to wait till the 5th of January for the remaining episodes.

Plot: Based in Korea in the 1940s while it struggles under the Japanese occupation, a group of people enter a hospital to look for someone only to discover that a missing person is the least of their concerns with a literal monster on the rampage.

Cast: Park Seo-joon, Han So-hee, Wi Ha-joon, Kim Soo-hyun (Claudia Kim), Jo Han-chul, Kim Hae-sook, Ji Woo, Im Chul-soo, Choi Young-joon

The Overview

I went into this show pretty blind outside of the basic gist of the plot, I expected a run-of-the-mill creature feature and the show definitely delivers in that respect but it also gives us characters worth rooting for even if they don't always agree with each other and strong and complex women across the spectrum.

I know there are some who are a little annoyed about the shorter season (10 episodes instead of the usual 16-episode season) and while I understand the frustration, I think the shorter season was the only way to handle a story like this.

Another thing that is a little frustrating is the decision to split the season into 2 parts, so part 1 dropped with 7 episodes and the remaining 3 episodes will drop on the 5th of January. I knew about the split going into part 1 and.... I don't hate it. The way part 1 ends makes it bearable. It's not quite a cliffhanger (on the cliffhanger scale, this was positively kind) And that way I can do a full rewatch and then watch part 2, making it a more complete experience.

There is no respite in this show, once the story gets going and it gets going pretty quickly, there is no break in the tension. There are no filler episodes. The pace is also consistent throughout all 7 episodes, so it feels more like a very long, stressful film instead of a 7-episode show and I think that works in its favour.

The narrative is also very streamlined, we have very clear narrative arcs that we're following. The first episode opening voice over can be a little tedious but this is an original show (as in not based on a webcomic), so I could deal with that. The writer has done a great job balancing the time they spend with the people inside the hospital and those outside, coupled with competing motives even when people are seemingly on the same side. And the fact that all of this easy to follow is no small feat. This is one of the tightest, most cohesive shows I've seen in a while.

Gyeongseong Creature has one of the most visually striking opening credits and it's worth paying attention to. Outside of the visual appeal, there are a lot of clues/foreshadowing to be found there. The credits also add to the unsettling atmosphere of the show. 10/10.

The show takes place in Korea under the brutal Japanese occupation. I suggest paying attention to the language the characters use (Korean vs Japanese) because it can really give you insight about the character or the context of the conversation. When you're watching the show, there are conversations, where if you're not paying attention, you won't understand why the atmosphere is so charged. To live in a place, where the mere act of speaking in your own language could mean getting brutally beaten became an act of rebellion. It adds a whole other level of nuance and I loved that.

The show also doesn't shy away from the cruelty of the Japanese occupation, the sheer callous way that the local population was treated. It also brings in the medical experiments that the Japanese scientists conducted on the local people (both in China and Korea) Their attitude is perhaps the most chilling (I was cheering when the monster got loose)

It also makes you question who the monster actually is, the literal monster (the person who was turned without their consent) or the people facilitating this, the ones conducting these 'experiments'. Everyone from children to old people were fair game in their twisted quest for progress.

More in Part 2.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

pretty much just echoing what other anons are saying about the absolute lack of nuance that armys have fostered where anyone who has a negative opinion about anything the members do is just an uncultured hater who wants the entire wrath of stan twitter to fall on x member.

while i do think black armies are absolutely correct about the virtue signaling and pearl clutching that white armies tend to do when it comes to sexual references in hip hop/rap outside of bts and agree that it is largely based in racist stereotypes. i think the “bora glasses” are causing them to miss the point of a lot of the uproar. its not about lyrics being sexual bc this (for the most part) did not happen with latto’s verse. in addition, a lot of them hate to admit they find this language attractive bc its the kind of stuff we have been socialized to expect from men since we are little girls. i am latina and grew up around reggaeton (heavily influenced by rap and hip hop) where a min. 80% of the music is extremely degrading and objectifying of women. even as a queer adult woman in her late 20s while i acknowledge this issue with the genre (and have heard much more explicit things) a lot of that music is extremely nostalgic to me. so i understand the cognitive dissonance but i cannot accept that from men i expect better from (not JH obviously lol).

and yes, i do think this is a bad look for JK even if he didn’t sing or write that part bc either he’s aware of the meaning and has no problem with it or is that oblivious to not even know what someone is saying on his own damn song. the fact that an alternate version even exists with this collab tells me that the check cleared before someone in a board room went “actually maybe not”.

despite my deep respect for BTS throughout the years, at the end of the day I will always acknowledge that they are men. they are not some sexless unicorns raised in a place with no misogyny or gender roles, they are men and like most other men they engage in behavior that often betrays the respect of most women whether consciously or subconsciously. we simply may not see it bc they are celebrities with pretty curated online personalities. now, that doesn’t mean i think they’re secretly chauvinistic pigs but despite my respect for them i always keep a degree of distance bc they *could* be.

i will add that the “bora glasses” are a hell of a drug. the double standards when it comes to the members vs other celebrities is insane (and i dont even like most celebrities lol). i know not a single one of these armies would think twice about talking shit about a song like this if it were from anyone else and that’s what really disappoints me about what our spaces have turned into.

I really appreciate your perspective on what the previous anon said , given your own personal experiences and culture. I'm obviously not the best person to speak on this subject.

I agree that the "bora glasses" are a real thing. It seems to me that even "normal" Armys are complaining a bit about the song, however, which is good. But I don't know that the solo version exists simply because Hybe foresaw the original would upset people. They likely wanted to recreate with 3D what they did for Seven - two versions counting as one, or at least another version to boost streams apart from the instrumental. Since it didn't make sense to have a clean and explicit versions again, and because maybe they knew some fans hadn't liked Latto's verses or Seven being a feature, they used the same strategy they applied to TXT's Back For More recently, and recorded a solo version.

I also agree that BTS are men, so, like all men, they're probably a lot more insensitive and ignorant to sexism than we imagine, and say or do a lot of things that would disappoint us (though I don't believe they're secretly chauvinistic pigs at all).

Anyway, thanks for your fresh take!

[astronomicalflowers]

1. Favourite place in your country?

Recently, certain parts of Oldenburg. Usually, though, the north sea and any place I travel for competitions.

2. Do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or abroad?

Mostly abroad, but this summer I'll be spending a whole bunch of it travelling around the country, which I'm really excited for.

3. Does your country have access to the sea?

Yes, two of them actually!

4. Favourite dish specific for your country?

Strammer Max is always a good bet, though the full experience is tough to recreate as a veggie option. In general, good bread will always make me happy tho.

5. Favourite song in your native language?

Currently TABU by Yung Yury, usually anything by Die Ärzte, Kraftklub/Kummer, or Alligatoah is a good bet.

6. Most hated song in your native language?

Most things Schlager, honestly.

7. Three words from your native language that you like most?

Melancholie, Sollbruchstelle, and Dummschuld. Still set to write a fic about the second one, too, but shhh.

8. Do you get confused with other nationalities? If so, which ones and by whom?

Well, in one memorable instance I was asked by some Irish people if I could teach them some Dutch bc they thought Dutch and Deutsch are the same thing. Also, several exchange students from the US, which my secondary school hosted, assumed that France, Belgium, and Germany were all the same thing - I do not know how they imagine WWII to have gone but I didn't dare to ask.

9. Which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

Well, knowing best would probably be France, simply on account of my high school French classes, and I think I'd like to visit there the most, too.

10. Most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Arschgeige or Backpfeifengesicht are fun, though I've never actually used the latter.

11. Favourite native writer/poet?

Writer - genuinely no fucking idea. Anyone who's not Kafka, probably. Poet - whoever came up with "Dunkel war's, der Mond schien helle".

12. What do you think about English translations of your favourite prose/poem?

I think there are a lot of words that can't be translated in quite all their nuance, but all in all - if you want to enjoy stuff that's originally German, hey, go ahead! Just maybe be aware that you might not get the full picture in some regards (which mostly only really matters if you're gonna analyse it, imo).

13. Does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

Around here, the most odd thing for outsiders would probably be the Schützenfest, which is basically just another excuse to get drunk, but this time based around recreational target-shooting. Also, just Bavaria and Saxony as a concept, probably.

14. Do you enjoy your country's cinema/TV?

Ehh not really.

15. A saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

yes this is really fucking old, leave me be

16. Which stereotype about your country do you hate the most, and which one do you somewhat agree with?

Hate - most bs people have to say about how we deal with the country's history. Like, we're very aware of what happened under Hitler and are trying very hard to make sure we all understand how that came to be, so we can avoid it happening again. Just bc it's the one time in history that the US can put themselves as solely the good guy, doesn't mean they should assume we don't know shit about our own history. Yes, there are holocaust deniers and Nazis still, but they're a loud minority.

Agree - most traditions/festivals are related to drinking. Genuinely, any cultural event in the area that I can come up with on the spot, has strong ties to some sort of alcohol.

17. Are you interested in your country's history?

Very much so. And ever since I got out of school, thus there isn't any outside pressure anymore to busy myself with it, I've been trying to learn more about it in my own time.

18. Do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Sometimes. I tend to adopt whatever dialect is spoken by the person/people I'm talking to, but generally don't have any myself.

19. Do you like your country's flag/emblem? What about the national anthem?

Neither, no. The history of especially the anthem is just... no.

20. Which sport is The Sport in your country?

Soccer. Maybe a teeny tiny bit handball, too, but definitely mostly soccer.

21. If you could send two things from your country to space, what would they be?

Probably bread and some wine? I've no idea.

22. What makes you proud of your country?

Nothing, really. I just don't have any national pride, I don't think. Like, I love some aspects and corners of Germany and its culture, but there's nothing that makes me say "man am I proud to be German."

23. Which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

Beer, probably, but wine is a close second I'd say.

24. What other nation is joked about most often in your country?

The French and the Dutch, I guess? The US also always make for a good punchline.

25. Would you like to be from a different place/be born in another country?

No. Ultimately, everything about this country and (more importantly) the area I'm from helped shape me into who I am.

26. Does your nationality get portrayed in American/Hollywood media? What do you think about the portrayal?

Any Hollywood-portrayed German I can come up with rn is a Nazi or Oskar Schindler, soo yeah. Not really convinced.

27. Favourite national celebrity?

As much as I adore Mo Seider and Seb, for me, nothing beats the very down-to-earth national team and Bundesliga gymnasts I met a while back.

28. Does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? Do you have favourites?

Yes, a lot of each. I'm very attached to a river running a short walk from my home village, it's just got a lot of nice memories attached, but otherwise I just like any pretty landscapes.

29. Does your region/city have beef with another place in your country?

Regionally, everyone seems to have beef with everyone tbh; soccer loyalties make some days in the bigger cities very ... interesting. Also, it feels like most of us want to get rid of Bavaria.

30. Do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

Yeah, nothing too out of the ordinary tho, just a bunch of French and a few Suisse people.

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

given how Americanised this site is, it’s important to celebrate all our countries and nationalities - with all their quirks and vices and ridiculousness, and all that might seem strange to outsiders.

1. favourite place in your country?

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

3. does your country have access to sea?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

5. favourite song in your native language?

6. most hated song in your native language?

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

11. favourite native writer/poet?

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

27. favourite national celebrity?

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

[thereviewwebsite]

DO NOT EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM THE END OF THE WORLD

In a world of sameness, I find myself hungry for anything original. I mean, I get it, we’re reaching the end of what came before, and so many concepts seem to have been exhausted. Artists struggle to carve out a space for novelty, and then there’s the financial aspect. It’s no secret that Star Wars 12 would rake in the cash (though I still feel weird about a franchise built on maybe three good movies), and let’s not forget the superhero element. Hey, I understand, making movies is incredibly expensive, but there’s no denying that originality is no longer a priority as it has become secondary to just about everything, especially in Hollywood. With that said, the lingering taste in my mouth remains bitter. We live in a reality that shifts by the minute, the way we experience the world is so different than it was just 10 years ago, let alone 50 years ago. It feels odd that what we have come to believe resonates with people are merely shallow repetitions of values that are no longer relevant.

Do Not Expect Too Much from the End of the World represents a new kind of filmmaking that feels truly original. This Romanian film, directed by Radu Jude, explores a facet of the real world I had never seen before. It blends realism with a technological language in order to craft a portrayal of the modern world. Also, it

succeeds brilliantly in creating an honest portrait of a society rarely represented on screen, even though we experience it every day. The film doesn’t follow a traditional plot; instead, we follow Angela, a production assistant, on a long day driving around Bucharest to help piece together an infomercial about safety garnets for factory workers. Angela also manages a social media page where she uses an Instagram filter and edgy language to engage her audience. All of this while providing witty and subtle commentary on real world society. 

The writing is delightful, to say the least, full of genuinely hilarious moments combined with real-time reflections on a society that cares little about people and more about looking like they care. Everyone has their own agenda. The reflection this movie provides through its writing is incredibly effective, as I found myself thinking about its moments long after I watched it. All in all, it's hard to pinpoint one singular message, as the movie serves as a reflection on various topics such as the internet and East-West relations, but above all, it is a movie about hypocrisy.

The writing, however, takes a backseat compared to Ilinca Manolache's show-stopping performance. I honestly could have spent hours just watching her drive around. Her performance is so nuanced and beautiful that it feels as if you become her. She's so relatable (I hate using that word) in her physical and spiritual tiredness, that it's hard to imagine anyone who wouldn’t understand her exhaustion (she had a long-ass day, man). Through her performance, Manolache encapsulates not only how tired people are, but also how tired our culture is.

I started this review by criticizing the way our culture reflects on itself, through sameness. All I had to do was “travel” to Romania. What Radu Jude does in Do Not Expect Too Much from The End of the World is nothing short of groundbreaking. The film feels like a product of its time, in the best way, offering an honest and fresh perspective on the world by exploring multiple facets. Its use of realism is incredible, evoking the post-war era while simultaneously thirsting for new reflections on the real world. I couldn't recommend it more.

[lastyoungrene-gay-de]

January 2025 Reading Wrap Up/ Review

The Witch’s Heart by Genevieve Gornichec (3.5⭐️)

I enjoyed this book overall. It’s a mythology retelling, which I’m always very wary of, especially the “feminist retelling” genre. I just feel like they typically fall flat and miss the point of the original stories. I’ll admit, I’m not as familiar with Norse mythology as I am with Greek or Roman or even Egyptian, so maybe this book did the same thing and I just didn’t realize it. Either way, I read this book in a a single sitting and had a good time.

Angrboda is a witch from Norse mythology, wife of Loki, and mother to the creatures that will bring about Ragnorak. This book follows Angrboda as she flees the gods and creates a life with friends, a husband, and children, and what she does when she loses that life.

One of my issues with “feminist retellings” or versions that focus only on giving the usually forgotten/ brushed aside women is that they typically just do the same thing but in reverse and completley ignore the nuance of whatever situation the characters are in. (Or idk, maybe I just hate women or something if I don’t find those narratives compelling.) I feel like this book tried to turn that on its head by pulling an “actually we should feel bad for the man here too” twist at the end, but it also fell a bit flat.

Other things of note about this book: made me cry, was also a bit gay (let’s go lesbians and bisexual women!!)

Shield Maiden by Sharon Emmerichs (4.5⭐️)

This is actually a book I’ve read before, so this is a reread for me, but it really is one of my favorites. It’s another of the “feminist retellings” but I feel like it’s done really well and doesn’t fall into that no-nuance mindset I mentioned before. Before I start with my summary and notes, I have to mention a content/ trigger warning for assult on multiple occasions, from groping to mention of rape. There is also some questionable language used for physical disabilities.

Shield Maiden is a retelling of the third “act” from the poem Beowulf. Basic familiarity with Beowulf is probably a good idea, but the basic plot points required to understand the book is explained within the narrative. A quick summary from places like SparkNotes is sufficient. There is also a quick little blurb of that part of the poem at the beginning of the book.

Beowulf has been king for decades, and is visiting a town lead by his family for a celebration. The story follows Beowulf’s niece, Fryda, who dreams of being one of her father’s shield maidens to fight for the protection of her community. As a child, while out hunting to prove herself worthy, she is caught in an earthquake thay leaves his disabled and with a strange connection and strength she doesn’t understand. Years later, it comes to her advantage during the celebration of her uncle when guests arrive to try to act against her father. Fryda has to fight for her family, friends, and community from outsiders and a dragon awakened by a banished, exiled slave.

I feel like my summary isn’t really sufficient because there really kind of is a lot going on in this book, but it all works together really, really well. I highly reccommend this book. Also noteworthy is the fact that it pulls off a high stakes forbidden romance for the straights. Good shit.

The Pecularities by David Liss (1⭐️)

I do not reccommend this book. This is going to be a short review because I just don’t want to spend too much time on it.

Based in late 1890s London, a growing magical presence is ignored by the wealthy and ruling class. When Thomas is effected, he begins to investigate and finds many irregularities in the bank run by his brother. His investigations into both the deemed Pecularities and the bank lead him to the occult and he discovers the two issues are intertwined.

This book had a good, interesting concept, but it just isn’t exectuted well. It feels like a big reason the author chose this time period is so he could get away with using out dated terms for minorities. I wasn’t a big fan of the writing style and the narrative and actions of the protagonist felt directly at odd with each other and I didn’t really enjoy reading it. I finished it because the mystery was compelling, but the ending was a big let down. It gets one star for the potential, but nothing else. I read it in a day but mostly because I didn’t wat it carrying over into the next day of my life.

What You Have Heard Is True by Carolyn Forché (4.5⭐️)

This is another book I’ve read before, though this one was for a class a few years ago. It’s a really heavy book but really important, especially for like Americans Trying To Understand How The US Has Fucked Up The Entirety of Latin America 101.

Carolyn Forché is an American poet who visited El Salvador in the late 1970’s at the request of a relative of a friend who was organizing resistance to the US backed military leaders in El Salvador. She visted multiple times over the course of around a year, each time witnessing attrocities and the after math of violence leading up to the break out of the Salvadoran civil war. After her visits she published a book of poems about her experiences and spent years advocating for the people if El Salvador, activism that was ignored by the US government.

Published in 2021, What You Heave Heard Is True is her memoir about her time in El Salvador that inspired her poetry, with the title taken from her most well known poem on the topic. It describes the people she met, attrocities she saw, and how the US’s involvment can be tracked throughout.

Again, it’s a very, very heavy book with more trigger warnings than I can list, but it’s incredibly important, both for understanding the history and how relevant it is to today’s American politics.

[danakatscullys]

get to know your moots

Omg I have not done one of these in years so I’m actually super stoked about this! I feel like I don’t know many of y’all anymore since I was inactive for a few years and I have a lot of new followers since the prime of this blog. Not going to tag anyone, but anyone who wants to do this tag me and we can become moots!!

TY @spooky-jordan for the tag.

What's the origin of your blog title?

Are you familiar with the so called x files!!! (i know all of you are)

OTP(s) + Shipname:

For the purposes of this blog msr obviously

Currently on a percy jackson thing so I’m hyperfocused on percabeth rn

Favourite colour:

Pink and then neutrals and earth tones (even though my whole house is blue for some reason)

Favorite game:

I am currently playing Hades on switch and I’m obsessed with it! Also probably Baldur’s Gate

Song stuck in your head:

Risk by Gracie Abrams

Weirdest habit/trait?

This might actually be mental illness but sometimes I daydream that people I know are seeing my life through my eyes and I wonder what they’re thinking about what they’re seeing

Hobbies:

Writing and reading (original works and fanfiction), fandom stuff, working out, being outside

If you work, what's your profession?

I do environmental policy work in the US!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

I want to be a writer and not have to work a 9-5

Something you're good at:

Listening and having conversations! I have crazy social anxiety and don’t actually like talking to new people but I’ve figured out how to do it in terms of a skill

Something you're bad at:

Coping with the crushing weight of being alive and remembering to take my meds

Something you love:

Fandom :~) nature, the people in my life

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

x files and any of my other fandoms and their impact on culture, north carolina state politics, many pop culture topics, trash (as an industry and a scientific topic!), soil science, the teen mom fandom lore (lol), why my in-laws suck

Something you hate:

Right now elon musk

Something you collect:

Duck and goose figurines

Something you forget:

Where a set my phone down

What's your love language?

Acts of service 100%

Favorite movie/show:

X files! I LOVE Fringe and star trek too

Movies Pride & Prejudice 2005 and Mamma Mia

Favorite food:

Literally anything my husband and I spend all of our money eating out

Favorite animal:

My little doggy boy and then black bears

What were you like as a child?

Really awkward, sheltered, just wanted to fit in. I had an amazing time growing up though

Favorite subject at school?

Any science topic that wasn’t chemistry or physics for the sake of chemistry or physics. I can do those things easily when talking about soil science or toxicology though

Least favorite subject?

Statistics

What's your best character trait?

Compassion for people and the ability to understand nuance of situations

What's your worst character trait?

I have a hard time taking accountability for my negative actions, and I can be good at manipulating situations when I was in the wrong

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?

It’s not so bad today but it was -35 in minnesota the other day and I would love for it to be warm and sunny again

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet?

Carl Sagan when he was writing Cosmos

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

I haven’t read an x files fic in years but there is a link on my blog to some old recs! If you like percy jackson you can check out my bookmarks on ao3 (pen name meridgwd)

[cvm-jpfilm]

Yukisada - GO

I LOVED this movie and its Yakuza-like protagonist. Though its a love story, I don't particularly see the movie as a romance. Instead the romance in the film serves to humanize the protagonist, who before was merely a ball of fury. The introspection that the movie presents through Sugihara really hit me hard; the isolation, the degradation, the anger, and the realization pulled me in to Sugihara's world and allowed me to sympathize with him. I could really connect with his circumstances and the absurdity of the situation surrounding Japanese-Koreans.

So obviously, the movie bases itself on the ethnic dilemma of Koreans/Chinese people living in Japan, specifically Zainichi. It's a phrase I've of before while studying Japanese and I wanted to write a little bit about it to capture how exactly this connotation impacts the meaning of the film. If you don't know Japanese, this might also explain to you why exactly Sugihara hates this label so much. So Zainichi (在日), literally meaning staying in (在) Japan (日from 日本 or Nihon/Japan) , refers to at it's simplest residents living in Japan. There is an important connotation in the phrases staying in or residents because this kanji,在, does not denote permanent stay. Its connotation might be derived from the verb it forms, which more closely aligns to "to exist (at a particular point in time)" which is one of the most basic verbs in Japanese,ある. The temporary connotation of this label is quite degrading as it literally refers to Japanese-Koreans as temporary residents or outsiders in Japan. In American terms, imagine if common English terms for people of specific foreign roots had the underlying meaning of "go back to your country". Although this isn't really that farfetched when terms like alien exists, which can be heavily demoralizing to people of foreign descent. I think understanding just how engrained the discrimination is in society and language can better frame Sugihara's fight against being labeled.

Which leads me to my next point, what is this movie about? Well, the overall film is definitely a critique on the discrimination of Koreans/Chinese in Japan. It quite clearly and harshly depicts the isolation, vulnerability, and hopelessness of Korean people like Sugihara when Japanese society turns its back on them. However, I think the film has a slightly more nuanced approached then just, "Sugihara wants to be part of Japanese society", that he wants to be just like everyone else. That's the thing, he DOESN'T. He's not Zainichi, a lion, an alien, or even me/himself, he doesn't have or is interested in any identity. I think he makes that pretty clear at the end of the movie, but what really stuck out to me is how Sakurai responds to his confusion over his identity. She doesn't "accept" him in the traditional sense. She's not saying that he's just like any Japanese person, that we're "all alike" or something to that effect. She says "Don't care what you are". The film is saying that stuff doesn't matter, its who the person is that matters. I found that very heartwarming, but also distinctive in that it doesn't label Sugihara a certain way. It doesn't fit him in a box, because the box really doesn't matter.

In this way, the movie strays away from the Shakespearean influence it draws. Its kind of hard not to notice, but the movie heavily draws parallels from Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers who cannot be together due to their social identities, Sugihara's friend is killed just like Romeo's, and the quotes all allude to this connection. However, it separates from the moral of Romeo and Juliet when Sugihara does not take revenge for his friend's murder, unlike in Romeo and Juliet. The subsequent revenge is what kicks off the war between the feuding families and leads to the lover's deaths. The separation marks a departure from the original message of play, which mocks the family clan structure at the time. Yukisada acknowledges that the relationship between Japan and its Korean/Chinese residents is not as balanced as the clans of the play. Zainichi and other phrases are an unilateral establishment of identity forced upon these people, and splitting from the original story acknowledges that relationship. Unlike the play, where clan identity is criticized because it does not affect who people are, the film disregards identity's meaning entirely because it is someone other people give to each other. In other words, only who people actually are matters.

I was much more focused on the narrative for this film, but I do want to draw attention for a bit to the use of physical objects and distance as symbolism, specifically fences. Yep, it sounds a little weird or basic but hear me out. During the first half of the film, Sugihara tries to jump over two fences when running away from the police. Sugihara is literally running from a Japanese institution, the police, and trying to escape by jumping over a fence. But he can't. He's caught twice and reprimanded. The fence in this case serves as a physical obstacle to the societal entrapment of Korean/Chinese residents in Japan.

Yet, this isn't always the case. In fact, Sakurai complements Sugihara's ability to jump over something. What is that something? A fence, the fence to his Korean school.

It is easy for Sugihara to jump over the fence to the Korean side because it is original identity, but can't do the same for the Japanese fence. It's a small detail but demonstrates Sugihara's conflicting identity.