#and i hate my body i WANT it to change i dont fucking CARE that other ppl dont this is for ME
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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readymades2002 · 5 months ago
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trying to do some financial math for if i move out and getting sick to my stomach
#ohhhhhhhhh god. oh christ alive.#my problem is that my discipline used to be great when i was both severely depressed/agoraphobic AND unemployed#and stopped wanting for things altogether. not the case anymore#wanting for things usually being...eating during or after work or getting a ride to go somewhere nice for a bit. whatever#i think its...DOABLE theoretically but im like. um. nervous#asked my manager for full time hours which im already kicking myself over but well if i want to get out of here#and i do so so so fucking badly#then. things have to change#struggling hard. i hate change and i hate making decisions especially ones i have yet to tell my mom about#NUMBER of things keeping me from acting quite yet but thats probably the worst is the thought of telling her#i dont know...how financially me moving out is going to work for her and my brother (who also wants to move eventually)#and i dont...i dont want to leave them here to drown#but i cant DO IT ANYMORE MAN if i dont try to get out i never will and the despair of being stuck here has done IMMENSE damage#to me over the last few weeks particularly after being able to envision a future where things are different#thinking about getting out of here gives me the energy to do things. i want to get out. i NEED to get OUT#god i really should just start making the body of the post the title and then writing the tags where the post should go#this is not how blogging works generally. embarrassing. well it probably wont change because i dont care enough
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mydr3aminvi0let · 7 months ago
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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skenpiel · 1 year ago
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Wait do you not see weight loss ads everywhere where you live?????
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont think i EVER see weight loss ads honestly. of course fatphobia is still very real and rampant here as much as anywhere else but i think weight loss things are like. kinda hush hush, if that makes sense. you never OUTRIGHT say your product is for weight loss, or that you should get plastic surgery if youre fat, or whatever. but its like. “heres our protein bar if you wanna be Healthy AND environmentally friendly (important to say) this fucking like bar of nuts and dried fruit contains ALL the nutrients of a full meal, so you dont even have to eat anything else 🥰🌈💗✨” so they never outright say “heres some horrible and both physically and mentally damaging things you can buy to stop being fat” even if thats essentially what they mean. :(
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anti-transphobia · 1 year ago
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I think anyone who had a cosmetic, non-medically important surgery done to them as an infant should be able to sue their parents and any medical professionals involved, win, and then have the guilty parties be publicly hanged as a message
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snekdood · 7 months ago
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so much of my past art is such a love letter to humanity and yet they keep betraying me and wonder why I hate them so much now
#was it all perfect? no. but it was still better than anyone will give me credit for 😒#maybe humans never even deserved my love.#its really sad to see my love for humans visually decline in my art as I draw them less and less#but like. what can ya do. I can't love a species that hurts me.#i hate feeling so jaded against humans but I just... cant bring myself to feel anything else at this point#I tried again and again and again to give the benefit of the doubt. to give second chances. to see if maybe I've just been wrong#and interacting with the wrong people- it just doesnt seem to matter. I'm not human and thats why I can't fit in.#I have more in common with the animals around me- more understanding between them and i- than I ever do any human.#animals are so much easier to understand. they're so much clearer on what they want or feel... humans just lie and manipulate#and talk behind your back and whole slew of other bs. they can never just fucking be direct.#I honestly think talking is a huge part of the problem- words are too easily misunderstood or people can use them to lie or things#are too complicated to convey with thoughts or whatever#but body language and expression and actions dont lie#i hate how easy it is for me to hate humans and how hard it is for me to love them. but how am I supposed to love something that#hardly if ever shows genuine love and caring for me? I keep trying and nothing is ever changing#i try so hard to be nice and compassionate towards humans in spite of everything they've put me through bc I see ppl always say#that you shouldnt give up or that you should take a chance or whatever but dawg. i'm tired. I cant emotionally handle taking more chances#when I just keep getting burned.#i just want to live alone in the woods forever.
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mr-ribbit · 6 months ago
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not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?
when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.
and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.
once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.
for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":
have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.
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killmonk · 1 year ago
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"t will fix all of my problems" (everytime I bring up starting it it ruins the conversation immediately and I end up sobbing for at least an hour)
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thesoundofmadness · 2 years ago
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im so fucking tired of cis people and their fake supportiveness
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wonderjanga · 1 month ago
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even though the bad parent captain marvel thing is resolved, i'd still love some more scenarios from the JL's pov of marvel's 'bad' parenting. ONLY if you WANT to do it, if you dont then just ignore this request lol
like him telling freddy or mary to 'fuck off' or swear at them in general and threaten to steal their stuff or blackmail them (like normal siblings do -coming from a middle child with two siblings)
or maybe they hear freddy and mary ranting about marvel and they JL misinterprets their sibling rivalry as abuse
Marvel is a terrible parent. The JL knows it. It just flabbergasts them every time they see or hear about it because Marvel is literally the nicest person ever so why does he hate his kids?
Junior and Mary: *walking down a hallway in the Watchtower while complaining about Marvel*
Mary: “Says you. He was chasing me around with a darn stick trying to beat me yesterday.”
Junior: “You don’t have the right to complain. At least you could run.”
Mary: “I guess but Pedro was carrying you so you could get away too. So I think I have to right to complain.”
Flash: *had the unfortunate displeasure of hearing that*
Now why was a grown man running around after his kids and trying to beat them with a stick? Also what did Cap do to make it so that Junior couldn’t run away?? Flash knew he was magic, so he was hoping he just used some magic to bind his legs or something. Speaking of Junior…
Junior: *annoying Marvel*
Marvel: *looking more increasingly annoyed* “Junior. Please take five steps back from me before I decide to slap the shit out of you.”
Supes: *immediately looks over to them*
Junior: “No you won’t. You’re chicken-”
Marvel: *literally raises his hand to do it*
Supes: *looks extremely concerned*
Junior: *immediately shuts up*
Marvel: “Yeah that’s what I thought.”
Junior: “Bastard.”
Marvel: “You’re a bastard too. Anyways, want lunch?”
Junior: “Yeah, tacos.”
Clark got a little whiplash from the quick change of topic. Though, that entire interaction really does enforce that he does not care for these kids. It’s so unfortunately obvious. Another example of him not caring was when Marvel and the silver one were sent to go examine a cave on a deserted planet.
Marvel and Eugene: *staring at the ominous cave*
Marvel: *walks behind Eugene* “Well… go on.” *pushes him forward to the cave*
Eugene: “What do you mean go on?! I’m not gonna sacrifice myself for you!”
Marvel: “But we’re family.”
Eugene: “So? I’m not fighting a dang Xenomorph if one pops out.”
Marvel: “Don’t worry. We’ll fight it together.” *continued to push him, but is thankfully walking with him*
Batman saw this entire interaction when he was reviewing to body cams he forced the two to wear. Who just pushes their son into danger like that? He needed to have a talk with Marvel about his parenting.
Pedro: “Hey, which of us is your favorite?”
Marvel: *almost immediately* “Mary and Darla.”
Pedro: “Mary and Darla- why them?? Darla was eating crayons just the other day, and Mary is Mary.”
Marvel: “Okay and…? They’re still my favorites?”
GL: “Wait, who’s Darla?”
Marvel: “The purple one.”
At least he likes the purple one, Darla? They haven’t seen a negative interaction between her and Cap yet. Emphasis on yet.
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spif-lol · 1 year ago
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People can hate on Chibnall's era all they want and while it's not without it's problems I will always defend it if ONLY for it's interpretation of gender in the change from 12 to 13.
I remember being so excited for Jodie, but also so scared as to how they were going to handle her characterization as the Doctor. While Moffat did okay with Missy in the end, her original introduction was dripping with stereotypes and changes in personality which in universe boiled down to she's a girl now lol. Because of this I feared the introduction of a hyperfeminine Doctor, reinforcing sexist stereotypes that men and women are fundamentally different in some ineffable way. I feared jokes about boobs and hair, I feared a weak Doctor who had to be saved by male companions, I worried there would be a lack of personality entirely, with Chibnall trying to play it safe and make her just a blank slate. Or that she would be a rehash of an old Doctor but GIRLY with nothing really distinct to her personality beyond that.
I did not at all expect what we got. Even if the writing is in general lower standards than us fans had come to expect, Chibnall's handling of the Doctor's sudden gender change is phenomenal and I will explain why.
Top 13th Doctor gender moments:
It is so obvious that from the Doctor's point of view, she hasn't really changed. She still perceives herself the same way and finds it hard to adjust to a view of herself as a woman and often uses masculine words to describe herself out of habit. She doesn't dislike being a woman! She's just forgetful! Her regeneration is not special because of the gender change, that's just a quirk alongside the other changes every Doctor goes through when they regenerate
The way she still dresses in a distinctly Doctorish way, and leans towards flamboyant but practical masculine outfits like her suit in Spyfall in contrast to Yaz's more feminine presentation in the same situations. (Yaz isn't even that feminine either. But her dresses and blouses compared to the Doctor really stand out.)
I love how the Doctor's gender doesn't change anything about her, only how other's view her. And mostly people still treat her with respect and as an authority figure. I feel like chibnall struck a good balance between not acknowledging the gender change at all vs hitting us over the head with it. There are episodes where her being a woman is detrimental and she expresses annoyance, there are others where it causes confusion, and there's some where it opens her up to new experiences like the wedding party with Yaz's nan! But ultimately it doesn't make a difference in the Doctor's day to day
The introduction of the Fugitive Doctor as a previous regeneration but also as a female doctor with a distinct personality from thirteen! We got a multi doctor story with two badass female doctors years before it should have been possible! I hate the timeless child thing but the fugitive doctor is my beloved. Props to Chibnall for seeing the hate and people going oooh but the doctor has always been a man and responding by going nope she's been a woman before and a black woman too fuck you. actually iconic. #Season6B btw. if you even care
Idk i just think Jodie really captured the Doctor really well, while still having a unique twist on it and her portrayal really reads as a genderfluid alien in a feminine body. Like oh cool this is new but ultimately it dont matter she still the doctor
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mikgreo · 6 months ago
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hi! 🙈
do you also find it really attractive when guys say I know, baby I know. or something along those lines (///w///)
if your taking them could i request jik or hq characters doing this in some scenario/drabble. please feel no rush/pressure.
take care of your self too:)
“i know baby, i know.”
ft. jjk + hq boys fluff, slight nsfw, humor.
tags. nsfw for gojo oikawa and kuroo, rest are cute scenarios + some hcs i made on some.
chars. gojo/oikawa+ kuroo, geto/osamu, toji/atsumu, inumaki/kenma, yuji/hinata, megumi/kageyama, choso/suna, todo/bokuto, nanami/akaashi
a/n. tysm nonnie!! i didnt know if u wanted them separate or just in a group category..couldnt resist not giving gojo oikawa and kuroo smut. i hope this was what u wanted:((
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gojo, oikawa, kuroo
you were sprawled out on his bed in his apartment. you were gripping the soft cushion sheets in pleasure, gritting your teeth, occasionally biting your lower lip to halt your moans. his long skinny fingers scissored their way through your gummy walls as if they owned the place. the tips of his calloused fingers hitting your g-spot everytime he thrusted in. you hated how vulnerable you became, how you melted like putty just from his fingers- but it just felt soo good. he knew your insides like no one else, knew all your sweet spots and how to make you cum. he was big- big being in understatement. he was huge, in your eyes atleast. prep was needed, always. even though you hated how long it took to get you ready.
“hngh.. i want you now- please!~” you said, putting a hand on his shoulder, as he looked up to you with a frown. “want you insideee..ngh! can’t wait...~”
“i know baby, i know. you’ll get it soon, ‘kay? i just dont wan’ it to hurt, my love.” he said softly, adding a third finger in. “just a little bit more, okay princess?”
geto, osamu
it was 3am, and you could not sleep. you tried scrolling through twitter and instagram for some time, but couldn’t. thats when you opened up tiktok, fully forgetting that, tiktok.. was a music app. and your volume…was halfway up. so when you opened it, it blasted for a second before you quickly swiped off the app, why were you so scared? well..
“y/n, what the fuck.. why are you up, go to sleep girl.”
your boyfriend was sleeping, and you hated waking him up.
“but i can’t sleep sugu/‘samu!! im not tireddd.” you whined, pouting. as if he could see you.
“dont care, go to bed or im snatching your phone away. l/n.” he growled and sat up rubbing his eyes.
“noo im sorry. please i cant sleep, babe!!”
“i know baby, i know. what if we cuddle and i tell you about my plans for tomorrow, hm? maybe it’ll help.”
toji, atsumu
“i want a dog.” you said glaring at him, who was sat on your couch.
“i know baby, i know. but yk we cant.. im fuckin allergic ‘member??” he shot you a mocking facial expression.
“but its okay, you can just take some Benadryl and you’ll be fineee! its not a big deal toji / ‘tsumu.” you pouted.
you walked over to him and sat on his lap facing him.
“if yur tryna seduce me into agreeing, its not g’na work babe.” he put his hands on your waist.
“ughhh!! can we atleast get like a cat or something?? please babyyy.”
“let’s leave this conversation for a different day, y/n.” he replied before pulling you into a hot kiss...that led to making out.. that led to your own personal problem for tonight.
inumaki, kenma (I PUT BOKUTO AND YUJI BC I WAS ORIGINALLY GONNA HAVE AKAASHI AND MEGUMI IN THIS TOO BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.. SO PRETEND IT SAYS PANDA FOR INUMAKI..)
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yuji, hinata
it was getting late… too late. your boyfriend had a day off and decided to spend it by sleeping, completely forgetting the fact that you two agreed on walking around the park today.. he was just soo lazy :(
“sweetheart….get upppp. its 12pm, you needa wake up.” you whined as your boyfriend tightened his grip around your body. he was big spooning you, a position where not even an earthquake could move him out of.
“mmm, i know baby, i know. just…five more- five minutes.” he groaned into your ear, you could feel the warm breath against your earlobe, it sending tingles down your neck to your spine.
“if you get up, ill take a shower with you, and make you waffles.”
you had never seen him get up from bed that fast before.
megumi, kageyama
you and your boyfriend were having you weekly movie night, you were under his right arm while you layed your head on his lap, using the blanket to cover your view of the flat screen.
“babe….i dont wanna watch this..its scary.” you pout as you attempt to sink deeper into your boyfriends arms.
“i know baby, i know.. but i love this movie, so can we please keep it on?” he scratched the back of his neck.
“ughhh, couldn’t we just watch inside out 2 or something babeee??” you whined.
“that’s a kids movie, im fine where im at.” he flicked you on the forehead.
“stoppp!! owww.” you cried out.
choso, suna
you two were watching moana in his room, the room was dark and you were both on his bed, cuddling. everything was fine until there was a loud noise which you thought came from the kitchen. you thought nothing of it but your boyfriend…
“did you hear that? what the fuck.” he sat up.
“babe…you better not.” you warned him with a glare.
“it was a fucking ghost, y/n. i fucking told you theyre real. theres no way im letting somethi-”
you cut him off, “girl, ghosts are not damn real. if you dont lay your ass right back down i swear to god.”
“i know baby, i know.. but you gotta really think about it, what else could it be?” he bit down on his thumbnail.
“shut up, cho/rin.”
todo, bokuto
you were sitting on the dinner table- across from your boyfriend, who had told you he had something really important to talk to you about. some minutes passed and he was just sitting there, hands interlocked together, his leg beating up and down.
“babe…is everything all right? its been like 3 minutes are ya gonna say something?..” you softly spoke.
“there’s something..i gotta own up to.” he spoke, not moving a muscle.
“oh fuck no, if you cheated on me i swear to god-”
“are you crazy?,” he finally moved from his position and gave you a puzzled look, “of course not, its just..”
he took a long deep breath..
“when i was 5 years old, i went with my mom to the store. she was browsing and i wondered off and.. i saw this lollipop, that i really, like really wanted. and i picked it up and asked her if i could get it, of course my mother being my mother she said no. so i got angry.. and stuffed it in my little pocket. and she checked out and i got away with it. and i just keep thinking about it, and the more serious we get with our relationship i just cant bare the everlasting weight and guilt of this act i decided to act upon. so im telling you now.. if you wanna make your choice on whether you still wanna date a criminal like me.”
you got up from you seat, and sighed.
“i hope its April 1st today.”
nanami, akaashi
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fairlyang · 23 days ago
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Amor Prohibido 🕷️
a west side story au
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w/c: 2.9K
pairing: miguel o’hara x latina!reader
tags: 18+ smut. opposite gangs, forbidden love, not caring x2, cunnilingus, dirty talk, fingering, español (era necesario), he’s a sweetie, masquerade dance, chino is a opp, double reveal but they’re all pissed, you don’t care and leave, car sex, voyuerism, unprotected sex, riding, sweet ending
taglist: @reader-1290
smutmas masterlist | main masterlist
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you were supposed to stay away from him. your older brother had always scolded you about only going out with one of your own. didn't have to be your exact ethnicity but they had to be latino, not any of the white guys.
you found that to be harder than expected. mainly because you didn't really care for his rules. you were always a rebellious kid and sister so now being in your early twenties that didn't exactly change.
so he continued to repeat that after you've only been in the states for less than two years, you knew you'd be in trouble.
at least that’s what you thought until you found someone that maybe you could cheat this system with. Miguel O’Hara was half irish and half mexican, with tanned skin, dark slicked back hair, and a thick accent to match.
his dad was a rich man, married a mexican woman so that’s why he was able to be in the jett’s, because they ignored the mexican half. he wasn’t exactly like the rest of them, openly hating on any and all latinos who come into the city because he’s seen firsthand how his mom was treated.
he was kind, thoughtful, and sweet. everything you’ve ever wanted in a man so your brother would just have to deal with it.
he was the man of your dreams, but of course there was a downside, probably the worst one, yet that wasn’t enough to put him off you or vice versa.
being the all too rebellious girl you were, you freely were sneaking back and forth with the second in command of the rival gang opposite your brother's and you didn't care too much about it. especially not when he was between your thighs, eating you out like he hasn't had a proper meal in years which was ironic because he never misses a meal, let alone his dessert.
his mouth was sucking and flicking your clit while he pumped two fingers inside you. he always took great care of you, making sure you don't go a day without a proper orgasm.
the worst part was that you let him.
you really couldn't help it, not when he was making you moan so loud and feel so good that you could practically see stars. it was to no surprise that you couldn't push his advances away, even if you tried he’d just convince you anyway.
he pulled away for a few seconds just to tease you because it always had you squirming, clenching tightly against his fingers, "like that baby?"
you could only nod your head, feeling too good to give him a proper answer. he didn't accept that though. he needed to hear you, especially if it was in your native tongue.
"tell me how much you like it, pretty girl.." he murmured, looking up at you with those pretty brown eyes while you just pouted.
"mucho- p-please dont stop." you whined, reaching down for his head so he can keep working his magic. (so much-)
"eager girl... you know you shouldn't even be with me but here you are, desperate and aching for me.. so fucking dirty, mi amor." he teased only making you whimper, especially at his usage of such an endearing word. (my love)
given every pet name that slipped past his lips had you like a lovesick fool but still, you were losing it even more, "fuck miguel- por favor- i n-need more!" you whined once more, bringing a grin to his face. (please-)
“pues porque me lo pediste así…. como no, hermosa?” he says under his breath before going straight back in to suck on your clit. (well since you asked like that… how could i not, beautiful)
you gasped and brought a hand down to his hair, tugging on it making him groan against you. it sent shivers all over your body and made his pants feel even tighter.
he loved the forbiddenness of your situation. knowing you shouldn't be doing this, from either side but not being able to help yourselves. he was just, if not more obsessed with you which said a lot.
he closed his eyes and focused on the sweet taste of your arousal, always so fucking good like an ice cream sundae down at the diner. sadly he couldn't take you on any proper dates because it would be odd to others and you didn't want miguel to get into any trouble. have it be by riff, bernardo, or his parole officer.
so he would close up shop early for his boss, who was an elderly puerto rican lady named valentina. definitely accepting of your relationship and having grown very fond of miguel, like a son, of course she was going to help him sneak you in. also given the fact he was on parole and this was now his home, he didn't have much of a choice anyway.
he brought his left hand up to your body, first to squeeze your left breast just earning himself the sweetest gasp from you, then you decided to grab his hand and intertwine your fingers together. his face flushed and he felt his heart beat faster, your eyes were on his and he was determined to make you come in his mouth.
he stopped for a split second just to add a third finger then he pumped her fingers faster and harder than before. you squeezed his hand tightly prompting him to do it right back while you quickly felt yourself getting closer to the edge.
“miguel! fuck- por favor- no pares-“ you moaned and grind your hips up desperately. (please- don’t stop-)
he moaned against you, practically grinding against the mattress while pumping his fingers as fast as he could. your walls entrapped them and he started curling them up to hit your sweet spot, purposely knowing you’ll come faster.
he pulled away for a few seconds just to egg you on, “gonna come for me baby? sabiendo que ni debes hablar conmigo?” (knowing you aren’t even be talking to me?)
“fuck miguel! si, claro que si-“ you cried and felt your legs start to shake.. (yes, of course yes-)
“así, mi amor, así.” he cooed softly, eye back on yours, “come on baby.” (just like that)
his sweet tone was enough to send you over the edge, gripping his hand tightly while you cried out for him. he kissed your inner thigh, slowed down his fingers, and giving you more praise while you rode out your high.
you closed your eyes and clamped your legs shut, feeling so overstimulated. he slowly slipped his fingers out, a loud plop filling your ears as you covered your face with both hands. you could hear his chuckle and his shuffling as you calmed yourself down.
suddenly you feel his arms wrap around you, pulling you towards his chest and you weren’t going to deny a nice cuddle. you laid your head on his chest, swinging an arm over his body while you listened to his heart beat.
there was something about the aftermath that just made this more real and loving. you didn’t know how your future would look but there was no way in hell you’re letting something this good, go to waste or into hands that already had a turn.
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the following weekend there was a masquerade dance being held at the gym in the rec center and miguel wanted to be introduced as your boyfriend knowing damn well that could be the cause of world war three. but he didn’t really give a fuck, willing to fight for your love and more importantly, end this dumb terf war between both the gangs.
the dress code was black and white, just so everyone would be somewhat the same. the lights were flashing so it was easy for you to sneak in with miguel.
you were both wearing black masks that had white designs on them. you in a black swing dress that anita made for you, off the shoulder with white pearls along the edges. perfect for the occasion.
miguel was in the nicest pair of pants, borrowed from his father as well as a black button up shirt.
he was looking around the dance floor, watching how each group was in their respective half and dancing their hearts out. neither of you have both seen and since the city decided to go all out for this dance to make everyone get alone, the lights were still going crazy.
he took his arm off your waist and held his hand out to you which you happily took. he led you to the middle of the floor and it was an upbeat song, so he grabbed your hands and you began dancing together.
you followed his lead and moved in sync with him and everyone else around you. your dress moved beautifully, miguel twirling you as much as possible to keep that smile on your face.
you moved back and forth between both sides of the dance floor, not wanting to stick to just one side in case you were to get caught that easily. it wasn’t so strange since most people by the middle were doing that anyway.
there were a couple people on the sidelines just watching, either because they can’t dance or they don’t have dates. singletons from both gangs but no shark was going to take a latina out to dance or vice versa, knowing they’d get a beating right then and there.
the song changed to a slower one so you adjusted accordingly with your arms around his neck while his were on your waist. you swayed back and forth slowly, staring into each other's eyes and ignoring everything else.
you felt happy being able to do this. and sure it was mainly due to the fact that everyone was wearing masks and you could barely even see the person next to you but still. you had the man you adored the most out in public like this and it was all you could’ve asked for.
you sighed and gave him a loving smile, taking a step closer to place your head against his chest. you danced slowly now taking one of his hands and sticking it outwards while he held your other hand by his chest.
it was a sweet and pure moment. what was once such a rarity in your life and now was slowly becoming something you needed to have every day. not at all afraid for the future, at least not now that his arms are around you. it was warm and protective, like nothing bad could happen when you were like this.
but unfortunately that wasn’t the reality you were living in.
anita was the first to notice you, not thinking anything of it until she realized the man you were dancing with wasn’t chino and she had to stop herself from gasping out loud. the second to notice was riff’s girlfriend, graziella, whose eyes went wide when she looked past riff’s shoulder to find miguel with bernardo’s sister of all the girls.
they both kept their mouths shut, hell even leading their men away from that part of the dance floor just to save all parties from a potential disaster. you didn’t even notice, not a single clue the jig was almost up but saved by the two girls.
that quickly changed when you decided to just take a look around the dance floor, moving your head up to take a better peak while miguel swayed you both. your eyes scanned all the couples in their fancy attire and dark masks but suddenly stopped at one guy standing still on the sidelines, eyes already on yours.
your eyes grew wide and your heart started racing, you shook your head against miguel, praying to god that chino won’t say a word.
you watched him carefully, almost unable to move because your nerves were getting the better of you. “por favor.” you mouthed to him and he just slowly shook his head. (please)
he started walking to the left side of the floor, you quickly looked over, trying to find your brother and anita. your eyes followed chino and you looked to where he was walking and you knew your fun was over.
you looked away, gaze back on miguel and leaned towards his ear, “we’ve gotta go.”
he looked down at you, noticing your nervous expression, and nodding. he let go of you, quickly grabbing your hand and leading you out. he pushed past bodies, not caring for the grunts and swears of his own friends.
they luckily didn’t even notice it was him, otherwise he’d have another problem on his hands. he led you out of the main exit, quickly walking to the parking lot to his car. the cold air hit you but before you could even react to it you heard someone yell your name behind you.
the all too familiar voice had you gulp and walk faster while miguel squeezed your hand, trying to make you feel better, “todo va estar bien, okay?” (everything’s gonna be fine)
you nodded and then heard yelling behind you, anita’s voice filling your ears as she begged bernardo to leave you alone. you could hear them argue like they usually did when you finally got to miguel’s car. he unlocked and opened your door when suddenly the side door bursts open and out comes riff with graziella laughing.
you had one foot about to go inside when riff just blinks at the sight in front of him. you stayed silent, not having anything to say while miguel urged you to get inside the car. “miguel please- let’s just go, anywhere but here.” you pleaded and he just nodded but his eyes were on his best friend’s.
riff was now scoffing, shaking his head in disbelief and disapproval while miguel helped you inside. he closed your door shut and walked behind the car to get to his seat just so he didn’t have to get even closer to riff. he stopped before getting inside, giving him the chance to say something to him.
riff was baffled, stun locked, and disappointed. this felt like a stab in the back to him, towards the sharks and everything they stood for.
but his definition was always different to miguel’s, he just never considered that fact.
finally he was able to speak up, “i can’t believe you.”
miguel sighed and stopped him from even starting a rant, “well believe it because i’m done pretending to be something i’m not. i can’t live like that anymore and you better fucking believe that i’m marrying this girl one day.”
your face grew warm and your heart started pounding, his honest words sounding like a declaration and in front of his best friend just made it all the more real and serious.
he gave him one final look before going inside and starting the engine. you took a deep breath and looked to the right to see bernardo and anita walking over. she gave you a sympathetic smile and your brother’s was better than before.
you gulped and rolled the window down, speechless at first before thinking of the right thing to say, “perdóname, hermano. es mejor pedir perdón que pedir permiso.. encontré un amor verdadero y bonito, espero que lo entiendas.” (forgive me, brother. it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.. i found a love so real and so beautiful, i hope you’ll understand)
he sighed and nodded, unable to speak because it felt so surreal. instead anita spoke, “ felicidades, mi niña” (congratulations, my girl)
you smiled at her and miguel finally pulled out and slowly drove away leaving behind your loved ones conflicted and confused.
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as soon as you were far and hidden enough you both jumped to the backseat. such strong comments towards your family’s brought an energy you never felt before. an even better and stronger pull towards miguel, one that had you feeling extra grateful from him and more affectionate.
it took little to no convincing for you to ride him. you had been riding him fast, eager and ready to please while making out. hands touching anything and groping, squeezing gently as you bounced your ass up and down like you have before.
only now was he started to thrust his hips upwards as you slammed down, making sure to hit your sweet spot every time. you tried your hardest to keep up with him but he never made it easy on you, even when you were trying to do something for him.
his hands were gripping your hips, squeezing your flesh while he helped you fuck yourself harder on his cock, desperately wanting to come already. neither of you were in any mood to take it slow, just wanting it to be as passionately fast as possible.
his praise against your lips filled your ears, making you moan against him while he just continued kissing you. he kept repeating his promising words of forever, making sure you wouldn’t forget them.
aunque todavía tuvieron un amor prohibido, se sentía como si ahora nada de todo mundo los puede detener. (although you still had a forbidden love, it felt like now, nothing in the world could stop you now)
como si todo este tiempo podían estar así sin importar lo que digan los demás. (as if all this time you could’ve been like this without caring what anyone else says)
but at last, you could do that now anyway and there was no one that could come between the sweetest of love you’ve ever felt with the absolute man of your dreams.
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eph3merall · 19 days ago
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hateful words and harsh jabs replay in your head, tears burning behind your eyelids as you stare at chris. his back is to you, shuffling things around on a cluttered desk of crinkled bills, jewelry, papers, and drug products. you don't really understand what went wrong, why he'd suddenly want to break the little thing you two have off. chris knows you don't really have anyone else right now, falling off with all of your friends after they found out your drug addiction was slowly creeping in again.
it was tough on you specifically, chris probably couldn't give a fuck. it's not like his daily life changed much, as grunted quietly when he was unable to retrieve the lighter he always keeps on his desk. furrowing in his jeans pockets, his eyes stray towards you standing there, dumbfounded, like some stone statue. he can't help but think you're pathetic, and he was unsure why he even startes this whole thing with you in the first place.
the click of the lighter chris obtains in his pocket is something he finds comfort in, the sound being one he's heard multiple times before that he could continue click, click, clicking and it wouldn't ever annoy him. he's tried telling himself that you don't mean to be annoying, that you don't mean to be overbearing and that shit's happened to you as much as himself.
but maybe his brain was all fucked up as he takes a drag of the lit blunt in his hand, stalking towards the window of his room to place two hands on a part of it and lift up—a gust of cold air hitting him directly and making the smell of weed just that little lighter. you've finally picked the pieces of your heart up from the floor, pressing at your eyes tightly to ward off the tears. chris never really did enjoy when you cried.
he wants you to leave. get out of his room, out of the frat house where the other guys will most definitely eye you weirdly as you walk out. turning to his desk, he makes himself busy. he doesn't care, why would he? his friends have been buzzing at him for the longest time for hooking up with someone like you, making stupid jokes and jabs about marriage and stupid shit like that. so he finally did something about it.
“you're so annoying, y'know? fuckin', talkin' my ear off one second n'then whining when i dont respond. not like you're givin' me the chance to, anyways.”
“and dont get me started on when 'i hurt your feelings'. jeesus, actin' like you crying like some baby wont piss me off. dont be fuckin' stupid, kid, use that brain of yours.”
“gullible as shit too, y'know? what, you didnt think i actually liked you. oh, thats funny, baby. make more of those jokes n'maybe ill laugh next time. god, you didnt ever think i was just usin' you? takin' advantage of havin' some pretty pussy practically under my arm and extra money for my products. fuck, you're stupid.”
“oh, alright, cry jus' like y'did last time, see if i give a shit this time.”
you try to forget everything chris said to you and more, sitting in your room in some old zip up chris left over at your place. it reeks of weed and something thats just so him, it makes you feel sick. your cheeks itch and lips go dry the longer you sob, hating the silence whenever you go slightly quiet. its like a taunt, youre alone now, for good. you wont ever get those friends back unless you fix yourself the fuck up.
you're a mess, blubbering sobs filling the silence and wracking your body. shuddering breaths in and out, constantly repeating to yourself to breathe and to focus on anything you can currently feel or hear. your vision is far too blurry from tears to see anything clearly, nose also clogged and preventing a good sense of smell. the fur of your blanket, running steps outside your room at one point accimpanied by laughter and voices. the cold metal of the zipper and interlocking teeth of chris' zip up sends a shock to your skin in some way, the smell of weed clinging to the fabric and breaking through the barrier your nose had. you wish you didn't smell it, only ending in thoughts of chris and making you cry some more.
the next few weeks are uneventful. nothing particular happens to you or chris, besides one of your friends' birthdays—kira. you took it upon yourself to text her a little message even after she dropped you, harshly telling you to 'get yourself together' if you wanted to be friends again. the text sent, it got read, and stayed that way. you don't exactly blame her, but your heart only dropped more in despair. because a little, innocent part of you truly thought she'd say thank you, or hope you're doing well, or at least text back.
a lot of the hours of the past few weeks consisted of naps and school work, finally deciding to try and raise some of your current failing grades since there wasn't anything better to do. it was hard to focus on anything with music playing, but it was even harder to write or register a single word when it was silent.
somehow, you end up at the frat house again. shivers overtake your body as you step inside, loud music and shoving bodies hitting you like tons of bricks. your eyes scope the familiar area, searching for a certain someone with brown tufts of hair peeking out from under a cap. when you dont see him, you start working through the throng of people to tread upstairs.
your feet gradually step lighter each step up, the floor eventually thinning out as you turn to the room you've knocked on so many times before. you probably look a mess, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you impatiently wait. a frat brother you recognize is romping up the stairs to shove into the bathroom, giving you a surprised, weirded look when he spots you.
soon, the door in front of you cracks open. chris blinks at you mumble a little 'hi' under your breath. when you get no reply, panic creeps in and you take a few steps forward and throw your arms around his shoulders, tugging yourself towards him. chris stumbles and grunts, hands bracing your shoulders and already trying to shove your body away from his own. the familiar smell of your shampoo isn't helping at all, hating how persistent you are today.
"alright, kid, y'can let go now," after chris is shuffling inside his room and shutting the door behind you. your arms loosen and slip from his body, casting a glance to the floor. you knew you'd be back, deep down, you know you don't have it in you to stay away. even as a child, you'd always ask that popular kid to be friends even after she'd humiliated you too many times to count on both hands.
"i know its my fault. sorry. for bein' annoying. tried workin' on it, and i think im better. and, and i stopped smoking, kinda. its no longer everyday, and i got classwork done, for once. are you proud of me? i worked on controlling my emotions too, so, so i don't think ill cry that easy anymore—" that was a lie. you'd started panicking the second you stepped foot inside chris' room, your mouth speaking on its own and vomiting out words that sound weird to your ears .your voice picks up speed when chris doesn't respond, only stopping when you realize he isn't listening.
and chris says nothing. his mind reeling and heart thumping in his chest, because you blame yourself. why? he doesn't know, apparently he just doesn't know anything when it comes to you. guilt blooms inside him, the feeling a little foreign as he resists the urge to wrap you up in his arms and just to tell you to pipe down. to stop being so stupid. to not blame yourself, when he's so obviously the one in the wrong. when he's so obviously the stupid one, stamping down all those feelings of guilt.
@conspiracy-ash @sturniolosfavkayleigh @lvrsturniolo @st7rnioioss @meatballlover10 @ashlishes @ferdzom @55sturn @chriseatingmeoutin4k @unknvhx @mattslolita @chaossturns @slut4brunettes @starclinexo @slvtf0rchr1s
©eph3merall 2024
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animeshotsh · 11 months ago
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Chains P2 | Yandere!Alastor x Overlord!Reader x Brother!Husk
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Notes: I havent seen the season finale so this may have OOC characters/events/ canon divergence in terms of time.
Warnings: Yandere!Alastor | mentions of blood, fight, violence, cursing | Mentions of Alastor eating habits | grammar mistakes |
Tags: @lorkai
Staying at the hotel has proved to be both, good and bad. Good, because you got to be with your brother everyday, feeling his soul so close made your mood improve a lot. When in the past you would be more cruel, angry and always hissing now you found a part of yourself you thought you had lost. Smiling and purring (the last only with Husk), its was a good Change. You also could see the good the Hotel was making in your Brother. Now sober and less grumpy towards others. Showing sings of trust and affection.
Now the bad, or terrible was that Alastor was always around.
Always.
His shadows could not mix with yours thanks to your power, but they would follow you and then tell Alastor where you were. And Alastor knowing how much you hated him would appear, calling you "sweet" nicknames that made you give him the death stare.
On Alastor part he was trhilled to have you so close and without having to do something for it. He never undertood why you cared for Husk so much but he took it for his advantage, he knew you would not try to pick up a fight with him because of your brother. And seeing you, your eyes showing just how much you wanted nothing more to destory him but could not made him feel things he was not sure what they were but the feeling was not an unpleasent one.
~☆~☆~☆~☆
Husk prepared himself an early drink only for it to be snached form his hands. A glass of milk now replacing it.
He shoot an annoyed look but still decided to drink the milk, he took notice of the fish sandwich you have made for him too.
Oh, you could be so sweet.
"You need Real food" you simply stated, crossing your arms "I can just smell how bad you have been taking care of yourself"
"Im fine, you dont have to worry" Husk dismissed. He did not want you to find out how truly fucked he had been.
"Oh~ I would not say that!! As your owner I had to stand your smell and poor hehaviour. Its nice to have a sweet sister to be around right?" Alastor spook towering over Husk them appearing besides you. "A sister who's soul its tainted but has such a good smell and so powerfull" Alastor was salivating by now "I wonder if you teast such as good as you look my Dear! No other overlord could compare to-" Alastor was stopped when a very pissed Husk trow the rest of the milk towards his face.
"Stop talking about my sister"
"Husk-"
"And what did you just do" The voice of Alastor changed, its shadow getting bigger. His eyes now a deep black with no emotion with his clawns being out and ready to attack Husk.
"I say, dont, talk, about, my, sister," Husk responded his love for you overcoming his fear of Alastor's power. He could crush his soul if he wanted.
In response Alasto's shadow started to grow, his teet got sharper, horns bigger as well as his claws and body. His eyes now a deep black with pupils like radio ones. A green chain appear, showing how Alastor owned Husk's soul.
"My, my, looks like I have left you be too free in here" Alastor sinister voice said pulling Husk towards him who tried to remain emotionless.
"Maybe I should show you what happens when you missbehave" Two claws went for Husk's left eyes ready to pull it out. "Maybe I should pull this thing out and eat it. Let you see how truly bad I can be" he half joked.
Before anything could happen Alastor was pushed hard away from Husk by you. Your own true Demon form now on display. You got bigger, your wings now with a sharp end as well as your tail, your eyes just like Alastor deep black with no pupil. You got two pointed horns as well. And your hands were now with black furr, red claws out.
"Dont fucking dare to hurt my brother" you roared sending off your poker cards to cut off the black tentacles Alastor had called.
He smirked, pulling out his shadows to try and get you down only for them to be vanish when a sudden fire erupet from your hands.
"My dear! This is New, I never know you could control fire!" Alastor said pretty much now into the battle with you forgetting Husk.
A wall was crashed as you two rolled outside the hotel, getting everybody's attention.
Alastor ended on top of you a tentacle firm around your neck, however one of your poker cards was against his neck. Just one move from any of you and both of you would be dead.
"WHAT IS THIS" A very Angry Charlie called, besides her Vaggie came looking just as angry.
Alastor smirked letting you got, going back to his usual form as you did as well.
"Ah Charlie! This was just a small fight between old Friends" Alastor said moving his hand to repair the wall.
"SMALL? You two broke a wall" Vaggie called getting just a smirk from Alastor and a blush from you.
"Im sorry, this wont happen again" you promised seeing Alastor from the corner of your eyes.
"It better not, or you are out" Vaggie finally called. In reality she would prefer for you to stay and Alastor to leave but she knew that saddly they needed the radio Demon in the hotel.
~☆~☆~☆~
As night fell you went to Alastor's room, knocking with Force the door opened revealing himself with a fake suprised look.
"(Y/N) I was not expecting you"
"Lets get to the Point. What can I give an no. Not my soul so you wont hurt my brother"
"Well, you need to know it was his fault" he started getting a hiss from you. "Can you blame me? He trow milk at me, my suit was ruined"
"We both know you were looking for a reaction out of him. Just tell me what you want"
Alastor seemed to think, you were proud and firm. Too proud to negotiate your soul. Even if you loved your brother you knew it would not change much. Sure, Husk would be free but how free? He could very much try and give his soul back to get yours out of Alastor's hand.
"Well, what I was saying was true. I wish to know if you teast as good as you look" he smirked taking your chin in his hand " you might have something to give me"
~☆~☆~☆~☆
Alastor stood in his room. Carefully drinking from a tea cup with a black liquid inside. Besides it a full bottle with the same liquid was.
He closed his eyes, feeling the flavor of your blood. If your blood was like this what would your flesh be like? Could he ever dream on getting a bite from you?
And why did he find the small fight against you so....he had no words. He felt alive full of something he could not understand.
Oh, he had to get your soul somehow. No matter how.
~☆~☆~☆~
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starringthesturniolos · 5 months ago
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bite me(part 8)- Matt Sturniolo
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part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8
summary- matt has always hated your guts, but everything changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.
contains- vampire!matt x reader, enemies to lovers, SMUT, themes of death, dark themes, high school au! (18 yrs old)
A/n: I'm going to write this in second person because I feel like it's easier for smut idk. im a new writer lol
"I dont know matt, I feel pretty hot!" you say as he pulls into his driveway. paranoia swept through you as you thought of going into heat and every little change in temperature had you worried. after all, the first symptom of being in heat is feeling hot all over, according to Matthew who is doing nothing to calm your nerves. instead he rolls his eyes at you much to your annoyance.
"its because I turned the car off y/n." he stares into your eyes before continuing. "look I don't want to scare you more than you CLEARLY already are but-
"Okay then maybe don't say it." you give him a fake smile gesturing to your head. ignorance is bliss, and you almost wish he didn't tell you anything about heat at all. he could have just let it happen but noooo. now its all you can think about.
"you don't have to be nervous. I said I'd take care of you didn't I?" matt says indignantly as you and him walk out the door. he slams his car door and puts his hand on your forehead. "you feel fine, so do me a favor and shut up." your about to roll your eyes but his next words stop you. "when the time comes, I will fuck the shit out of you and you'll go back to normal. got that?" he says it so casually like you and him were just going to take a stroll around the neighborhood. even so your thighs clench together and your body heats up. if this is already how I respond to him, how the fuck is it going to feel intensified ten fold. you think to yourself. as you and matt walk through the front door, your thoughts go to the gutter. you think about the way he's going to fuck your aching cunt so hard and fast. how he's going to fill you up so nice.
suddenly its not just hot any more, its burning. there's a pressure in your core so strong it feels like your going to pass out.
matt turns to you slowly and watches as you grip the wall, your body giving out. he walks over to you briskly and picks you up and into his arms. pathetically, you moan at the very non-sexual contact, but were so hot you couldn't even think to be embarrassed. you look up to see matt, and his eyes show his concern but also his lust. "matt" you whimper and his eyes start to shift from blue to a color so dark it almost looks black. you squirm to relieve some of the ache between your legs at the site. normally, it would scare you but nothing could scare you away from him right now. not when he has everything you need.
"I know, baby." he coos, moving the hair off of your already sweaty forehead. " I can smell you" he says as he carries you off into his room. he sets you on the bed and you whine at the loss of contact, your body heat flaring even hotter from the lack of contact. no wonder they call this thing a "heat".
"matt! please touch me, I need you!" you almost cry. he immediately reaches for your thigh running his hands up and down on it soothingly. your body relaxes slightly, but your cunt practically leaks at the simple touch. you can feel a puddle start to form underneath your butt, your underwear completely soaked. "shit" he breathes out shakily. "making a mess on my bed already" he says in a husky deeper tone. a tone similar to the one from when he found you and kit two days before. a tone that revealed the monster in him was about to take the reigns. his veins turn black as ink like they did before and he sniffs the air heavily. "fuck!" he groans at the smell of your arousal. suddenly your on his lap facing down with your ass up in seconds. "gonna stretch you out first." he says gruffly as if he was holding himself back from fucking you into his mattress right now. he runs his hand up and down your slit collecting your juices before putting it in his mouth. your hips jerk like crazy in response trying to recreate the pleasure from matts simple touch. without his touch, your pussy felt like it was literally on fire. "matt do something, please! fuck me already!" you whine desperately tears already streaming down your face. he slaps your ass hard and you moan out from the pain and pleasure. he grabs your throat and slaps your ass again eliciting another moan from you before leaning down. "shut up, brat. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to you, whenever I want to do it. do you understand?" he says lowly into your ear and your legs shake from the display of dominance. his words ring through your head and just like that your cumming, hard. you hadn't even been touched but you were screaming Matt's name and writhing as if he had just given you the best time of your life. matt freezes in shock from what just happened, but when he processes it he laughs. "coming undone from just words, sweetheart? didn't know you had it in you" he smirks and you start to feel his hard and throbbing dick through his jeans. you couldn't even begin to speak as you continue to ride your high as you writhe against him uncontrollably. your stomach strokes his cock everytime you move and he lets out a deep groan.
finally you come down from your high, but even though you just had an orgasm it did nothing to suffice the pressure in your core, in fact, it intensified even more. "it hurts, it hurts, it hurts" you cry as you go limp on his lap. "I know, baby, I know" matt rubs your back before flipping you over onto your back. he pulls his dick out of his pants quickly and lines himself up. you ogle at his dick and moan at the sheer size of it. matt grabs your chin and makes you look away from down there to his eyes.
"I was going to stretch you out, but fuck I don't think I can wait anymore. and something tells me you don't want to either." he says before pushing into you completely never losing eye contact with you. his eyes go from the dark blue to bright red and his fangs protrude when he feels you around him. your cunt tightens at the sight and he hisses out in pleasure. "gripping me like a vice, you like having a monster take you?" he grips your throat demanding an answer but your too far gone to even think of an answer. all you can think about is that you want him to move. his cock was nestles inside you but it wasn't enough. you try to move your hips in hopes of a little friction but his other hand grabs at your hips stopping all your movements completely. "do you?" he repeats his tone darker than you ever heard it before.
"yes!" your pitch raises "now please." you whine, heat all consuming. “good fucking girl” he breathes out before starting a brutal pace and going deeper than anyones ever been before. your muling and shaking uncontrollably in minutes and matts groans only add fuel to your fire. “yeah take it just like that. fuck, ur making me feel so good” he groans out and your cunt starts to spasm around him. he grabs your hand and presses it into the matress and you look up at his dangerous red eyes.
“your close, i can feel it. let go with me baby” he growls and you immediately come undone. your orgasm explodes out of you and you start to squirt uncontrollably on his dick. “fuck” matt moans before spilling all his cum into you. you orgasm again from the feeling of being filled up and he hisses at the overstimulation. finally, the haze you had been in lifts a little and settles into something manageable.
wordlessly, matt pulls you into him and your body relaxes even further. he kisses your temple and sighs when he sees your dropping eyes. a warmth spreads in his chest at your vulnerable state. a state no one would see but him. a state you would only let him help you with. just when it looks like your going to fall asleep on his chest, you shoot up slightly, maintaining your tired expression.
“mmm, wheres chris?” you sigh looking matt directly in the eyes.
matts pov.
what. the. fuck.
why is she thinking about chris right now when I am right here. when i’m the only one she should be thinking of. anger ripples through me even as i stare at her beautiful face, so i clench my jaw and walk out the door despite her protest. her heat should be under control now, so i don’t want to disturb the peace she can finally feel with a big argument. i desperately look for a distraction for the rejection i somehow feel, when suddenly i know the perfect option. i instantly open madi’s contact. she’d love to know how y/n’s doing and i know how much she LOVES knowing tmi shit. after three rings she picks up and smirk knowing shes going to want to know ALL the details. instead i am met with a cautious voice on the other side of the phone.
“hey matt” she says as if theres something shes not telling me. “hey?” i answer confused by her strange tone. she takes a deep breath and thats how i know shes thinking of a good way to say something. she wants to tell me something but she doesn’t know how. what the fuck is she hiding? i stay silent and patiently wait for her to continue and have my unspoken question answered. she takes the hint
“so you know how chris got the same spell you guys did??” her voice raises in pitch and if i had a pulse it would have raced. this is the second time chris’ name has come up in unexpected ways.
“yes..” i say skeptically.
“and you know that i was actually able to get rid of the bond entirely bc it was so weak right?” i roll my eyes, gripping my phone and tired of her dancing around the point.
“yes, madi. what the fuck do i need to know that your not telling me.” i spit out.
“a new mate has been given to him”she says like shes bearing bad news. and my mind wanders. this is supposed to be a GOOD thing. he finally found a mate he can actually be with and care about the way he’s always wanted too. out of all three of us, chris has always been the most fascinated by the concept of mates. he was slightly terrified but slightly interested in the concept of being consumed by love. a love that is mutual. and now he can finally have it, and yet it feels like somethings wrong. and then it clicks and my breathing stops. i have a horrible thought and her words ripple through my head.
“where’s chris?”
a woman in heat is ONLY able to think of her mate and no one else. its one of the first things vampires and witches are taught about the overwhelming experience women have to go through when they are mated. my mind connects the dots before she even finishes. rage and loss pours into me in gallons.
“its y/n” she says before the front door opens. chris walks in, his eyes searching the house to find the only girl i ever wanted to call mine and mine alone.
bbernard-03
@sturnthepot
@hoeformatt
@sturtriple16
@faygo-frog
@sturniol0s
@katie-tibo
@cindylcuwho
@l3an
@chriwssv4amp
@sturnslimited
@minhlajenni
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