#and i had to get offline
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I wish I never fucking mentioned food around you. Now my other partner heard it and wanted me to eat because I said I was hungry. Like an IDIOT.
Now I gotta deal with him breathing down my neck tomorrow because he's gonna be watching my intake like a hawk. Great.
#actually so annoyed#and on top of that my bf goes to hang out with this person he's all ohhhh they're so cute though awwwww about#and i had to get offline
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Stop using the r-slur
#What the FUCK is wrong with all of you#And I KNOW that the majority of y’all I’ve seen using it know full well what connotations it has in English#It’s 2024 get with it or get offline#Jumblr#Ableism#Ableism in Jumblr#<-I NEVER had a problem with seeing people using that word on Tumblr till I joined the community what the hell#Serious#Serious Post#My Post
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I think the worst thing about having very vague/spotty memories because I was so young when it happened is feeling like I can’t ever fully accept that it DID happen. I will always second guess myself—even though the evidence is always with me (the body keeps the score, as they say). I will probably never tell anyone who knows him about it because what if I’m wrong?? What if I’m making up these flashes of “memory”, and seeing “signs” in my present self where there are none just because I want an easy answer that would explain the way that I am???
It would be such a horrible thing to accuse someone of if it wasn’t true. Especially family. Even just thinking it feels cruel and unfair to him sometimes. And there’s no way for me to get the truth unless he were to confess it to me himself.
I fantasize about that sometimes—I like to picture him apologizing to me at some kind of reunion, scared out of his mind that I’ll tell someone about it and ruin his life. Or even unapologetic, making jokes about it. At least then I would have confirmation. At least then I would have validation for the last twenty years of my life.
Anyway if anyone else feels like this, you’re not alone.
#this is not my usual type of post but i feel like im losing my mind i had to get this out#and it’s fathoms easier to put it here than to say anything to anyone who knows me offline#but if you’re someone i actually speak to on this app if you could pretend you didn’t see this that would be great thanks 🙏#trauma posting#ro speaks#childhood trauma#repressed memories#csa survivor#incest survivor#i feel like a fraud using these tags lol#even now i can’t decide if i believe it or not#but like. bro. come on. you know#but DO I??#UGH#vent post#actually traumatized#csa vent#i am feeling very insecure about this post but here we go#trauma journal
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Unfortunately the side tumbler I thought I'd never see has found me.
I’ve seen multiple post of people complaining about how fat MCs shouldn’t be a thing because most of the characters wouldn’t canonically want to be with them.
Snookums, just skip the fic if it bothers you that bad 😭
#i thought we were better than this#ive been had#PLS GET OFFLINE#ITS FANFIC 😭#and fat ppl will exist living life#I'm giving Toji a hot plump baddie now
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Y'all won't BELIEVE the three months I've had
#//now for the real reason. to keep.it short i was working as a game dev for a game that (should) be released in october this year#//pretty bad burnout. worse crunch. around the time i had to leave the blog for a few months#//and then i got laid off alongside other seniors of the proyect and took another month of just offline presence trying to get my shit#together. anyways im better now. participated in artfight. life is (kinda) better now!!!#//hoepfully getting this back on the road#pokemon rp#rotomblr#ooc#pokemon ranch#pokemon irl#pokeblogging#clay talks
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Look, am I scared of this being a thing that the right rallies around? Yes. Am I scared that "retaliatory" hate crimes will go up? Also yes. Am I still going to laugh at yhe tumblr posts abiut it? What fucking else can I do
#Sorry usually i try to pretend that real life isn't a thing that exists on my tumblr#like any sort of big events with consequences? I don't need everyone who follows me to know what exactly I've done to be like#there's a bettwr term than politically active. more all-encompassing. But you get the idea#and usually I'd keep my response to this kind of stuff more private#but fuck man#everything is happening all of the time#and usually there's something i can avtually *do* that isn't posting about it. donate or boycott or offline activism or whatever#But this I just kind of have to wait and hope#sorry for all of that please disregard the fact that I had emotions online
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rook be upon ye
#so. this is suri. my meerkat veiljumper#dragon age the veilguard#rook#look ive had A WEEK (positive)#first i got swept away to a llama ranch (!!!!) for a halloween weekend#it was. so so great#got to eat freshly hunted deer meat? a first. i wasn't a fan lmao#and then on sunday my brother came by with his sons gaming laptop with a copy of veilguard installed on it so I could play offline 😭 y'all.#my heart 🥹#today im going to light candles at the graveyard so thats. emotionally charged#but i cannot tell you how extatic i am to get to play da to unwind at night. fucking sobbing.#next week fiber guys are comins and i get real internet and then a desk with outlets and then a pc and then i can work on ouro again AUUUGH#fitting the final piece of a puzzle feeling.exe#im updating you patreons more tomorrow too. heuehshaushdhdjdidudmz i feel so good. so hopeful#this halloween has been so great. and look at suri! love of my life. i don't even care that veilguard has been. yk. /like that/.#when i tell you the SOUNDS that came out of me when solas talks. being mr. sarcasm#varrics take on his character. AUGHH#bliss.#obviously it wasn't sunday my brother came LMAO. i can't remember the day but when da released 💀 BYE
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ah, i love waking up to hate mail making fun of my art 😶 but you know, i think it speaks a lot to the emotional illiteracy of some folks that they think such a thing will get a lasting rise. who knows why they do it? is it for a cheap laugh? are they projecting because they dislike their own art? are they so personally miserable that they just want to tear other people down to fill that gaping void in their real lives?
#apologies guys i've just had a very rough week with some awful personal stuff and this has tipped me over a bit#i get it don't feed the trolls but when so many bad things happpen at once#you start to wonder if you are the common denominator and should just log off#don't worry i'm all good...just probably need some time offline is all#i strive to keep this space as positive as possible but i'd rather be realistic about my mental health#vent#delete later#starleskatalks
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what do u mean they ended animal crossing pocket camp
#im so heartbroken man. .#they apparently just did in november. .. i did not kno i was so excited 2 get it on my new phone :[#ive been playing it since it was released in australia i was so excited i made a fake apple id n had to use their store for years LMAO#which actually was a blessing bc fun fact the australian store keeps old versions of apps#vs the canadian one quickly overwrites them more quickly n forces you to update (even when its physically impossible w ur device)#apparently theres an offline version but u have to buy it n i cant do that
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#probably going to be offline a while longer#my mom got worse really fast and i feel like im losing my mind#we thought we had more fucking time and the earliest flight wr coukd get was friday#ahaha#sorry feeling actually embarrassed about venting on my silly little blog but yea.#just feeling very isolated and scared and damn i feel like a little kid just wanting to be held rn
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hello guys it is i, a week into filming various limekilns across local* villages. life is so fun i love you filmmaking i love you directing and filming and looking for shots i love you mountains and forests and and and
#AND I LOVE YOU THE FACT I NEVER HAD LOWER SCREENTIME <333333#and tbh i like getting a bit of wifi here and there to check my messages and shit and then being forced offline its beautiful i love it#piksla.txt
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more keykid things!!!!!!!!!!!! The design's based on my original player character avatar i used when i was active on khux with a few swaps (mainly cause i had no idea there was a moogle headband lol)
#she's around 15 during khux#when i first made her she was a deliverygirl for the moogle shop hence the sack on her back haha#man i cant believe shes almost 8 years old now that's really weird to think about#also im an oldhead on khux i always thought the colosseum ranking outfits were so good but they stopped doing that on the first year i thin#so a lot of people missed out on so many good outfits and it made me sad#but they let you use any avatar part now in the offline ver so actually its fine lol#i had an alternate outfit i used that was just the ursus regalia armor bc i rly liked the lux particles#but thats not really a flex bc ursus was the lowest ranking union for the entirety of the game's lifecycle rip#i was in vulpes for the first few years but i switched over to ursus to get better ranking prizes bc i could be in a top 5 ranking union lo#anyways#im rambling in my tags oops#talking#ig#kingdom hearts#khux#keykid#oc
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like on the one hand language matters and i too sometimes find slang trends annoying and/or concerning and on the other hand sometimes women do actually make jokes and talk shit on the internet with their friends and it is not actually that deep and commentary on phenomena gets to a weird point where i’m like i don’t know how “these idiot losers on the internet using a two to four word phrase they will have moved on from in a year are basically the primary cause of patriarchal oppression” is the feminist take. like sometimes i start to think the plot has been lost.
#girl dinner sort of radicalized me on this#but i recently saw (can’t remember where) a really impassioned and genuinely angry and upset deep reading of ‘i’m just a girl’#which more than anything made me think of the anti taylor swift redditors who think it’s super weird when swifties call her mother#bc they’re online but in that particular reddit way where they’re still offline enough to like. think swifties invented this#and that it came from their troubling psychosexual obsession with taylor swift#and is uniquely revealing of the swiftie mentality#instead of… well i don’t have to explain it to you.#like are there people as accused in wherever i saw this trying to use ‘i’m just a girl’ to dodge accountability or refuse to grow or w/e?#yeah probably. people with bad personalities do all kinds of things!#i don’t really believe in the hypothetical adult woman who would be learning and growing if only she had not encountered#people on the internet saying ‘i’m just a girl’ who gave her permission to thus infantilize herself#i think that’s making up a guy to get mad at. girl to get mad at. whatever.#and like it’s complicated and if for example you said girl math to me i would become the joker instantly….#but…. idk. sometimes it feels weird! sometimes the vibes are off!#also i should be sleeping but i have had the HICCUPS#although working myself up about this seems to have distracted me while they calmed down
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Deacon willing to help people but doesn't recognize people so he doesn't remember what he did for who. So he just agrees and is like cool don't mention it then they mention it and he's like uhhhhhh.
However, that's other humans. He can identify the deities much easier because they have a unique glow. Like can actively tell Ymber "oh Lady Fulj just entered the city" and Ymber is like how the heck did you sense her that far away when I can't sense her that far away. It actually takes a while for Ymber to realize Deacon really doesn't know any of his coworkers and who he's talking to.
#my characters#based on me just not knowing which of my coworkers i helped with what or who asked me for what#so theyd bring something up and im like uh huh#deacon is a good bean who likes to be helpful to people around him#because hes lived a good life thanks to people around him such as#he had loving parents but after his mom died the neighbors helped him and his dad#then when his dad passed away and his neighbors would invite him over to make sure he wasnt lonely#and he appreciates those people but he doesnt recognize most of his coworkers#he can identify the neighbors based on oh the guy nearby has a hunched back and i help him with carrying stuff#so he notices those traits from people hes been near for a long time but then is baffled over coworkers#if someone changes a hair style that is a brand new person#based on holy crap my coworkers used to change their hair all the time i never knew who was who#dyed hair or getting a trim and dye or simply wearing it up one day but not the next#i have no idea who i worked with and it was v awkward for me but people were always nice#how has it been a week of pain im gonna go offline and suffer breathing pains
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the opinion i’m not allowed to have: i genuinely think tsumurin could help concon get better™️
#you think chizu manga is a coming of age story about a girl learning to accept and love herself for who she truly is… but no it’s all yuri#nevermet crackship has never met… but i think tsumurin’s better suited for concon’s cafe tbh#change your job and get a gf girlie~~~~~~~ you could do so much better#idk it’s just the way tsumurin genuinely does her best wholeheartedly while concon gives it her all by scheming and such#y’know~~~~ it just makes me think that they could be cute foils for each other#granted i still think chuucon is hilarious but lbr they’d break up the second they had to fight over the last aizo nui#(or worse: the last aizo upper body towel from their upcoming solo live)#i think cute offline gf x toxic stan twt gf has untapped potential#tsumurin’s so cute (kinda like a hamster plushie) i want to put her in my pocket (like a hamster plushie)#i just~~~~~ considering how concon made a fox plush of her fursona to hug her aizo nui i think she could make one of tsumurin#(for her plush to hold) once she ditches the aizo nui#aizo isnt worth your efforts girlie have you s e e n his repaint dance#anyways that’s all~~~ i had something better typed out but the app ate it
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#solrock#now *this* is the fucker that the one raid battle NPC had in swsh that everyone hated. including me. he served only to remove lives#fuckin mashing the rock polish button the whole time or whatever it was. doing Nothing Else. i feel like a lot of people who usually did#raids offline had that fucker's name and face memorized. cuz they'd see that they got him and just give up right then and there#at a certain point i feel like offline raids were just not very viable. the NPCs they'd give you to battle with were just so bad#and some of the higher star raids you really needed the extra firepower you just couldn't get from those NPCs#but also they kinda removed a lot of the incentive for joining other people's raids considering your catch chance was lowered by like 9000%#if you weren't the host of the raid. and if you were the host the percentage chance was so high it was basically guaranteed#i don't think i ever ONCE caught a pokémon successfully when i'd joined someone else's raid. and i don't think i ever once failed to catch a#pokémon when i was the host of the raid. it's just. i dunno! i stopped doing raids at a certain point. some people can get a pokémon game#and play it long long after the main story bc they get invested in raids and shit but i just lose interest at a certain point unfortunately#as much as i enjoy the game while i'm initially playing through it#hff. anyway. i'm queueing this up the morning of june 30th‚ aka the day of my first flight in 10 years. so. this won't post until mid july#and i'll have been back for a while by then but for right now‚ me writing these tags‚ i am very Anxious#saur. haha. y'know how it is. have solrock
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