#and i had so many people call me mom back then

[fortunekookie07]

hii can i request a highschool au, where sylus is the scary but popular jock x nerdy/normal reader😫 thank you!!

Not Just The Girl Next Door

Nonnie, I absolutely adore your request. Because you brought it to me. Thank you sooooo much for trusting me to craft your desire. Love you for it.

I am immensely sorry it took so long. I hope I haven't disappointed you. I struggled with this one a bit, and not because your request was hard, I didn't want to deliver a cliché. I rewrote this one a couple times. If you want to see the unfished alternate, let me know.

****************************************************

Sylus, how could one name make your heart feel full of giddines? Put those butterflies in your stomach and make your brain mush?

He'd been your classmate since preschool. He even lived on your street. How could one person be so close and yet so far out of reach?

You never minded his teasing, he'd never taken it too far. After all, it was to be expected. Many times, you'd examined yourself just to count all the things you saw as flaws.

Unruly wild red curls hung around your face and trailed over your shoulders all the way down your back to your hips. Your mother absolutely loved your hair. You'd lost count of how many times she'd begged you not to cut or change the color.

The round glasses perched on your nose framed your face nicely, but you hated their necessity. If only you'd gotten your mother's perfect vision. You had yet to win the debate on trying contacrs.

If only you were taller, being the shortest one in the senior class was irritating. People often mistook you as a freshman and sometimes you knew it was on purpose.

Sylus had been the one to start the jokes. While the rest of your classmates were getting taller, you didn't. The only thing that has grown was your curves. Your mom liked to say that you had the perfect hourglass figure. One that you worked hard to hide. Being teased for having no boobs as opposed to being well-endowed was much better.

It was easy to hide with the schools mandatory uniform. Button up white collared shirts, a sweater vest in dark blue or gold. For the girls, a pleated plaid skirt in the same colors. The boys could wear black or dark blue pants. During the winter months, a black jacket could be worn.

As you stood in front of the mirror, examining your appearance, you could hear your mother calling you from downstairs. "Are you ready yet? You need to be leaving now!" You scrambled to shove your feet into shoes while trying to smooth your hair back so you could braid it. "I'm coming, mom!" You shouted back to her, tying the end of the briaid and scooping up your bag.

"Have a good day." She said, kissing your forehead and then pushing you out the door. It was windy today. Spring was just around the corner. Hurrying to your car, you quickly started the engine just as your phone rang. It was Tara.

"Hey girl!" She answered with her usual bubbliness. "Can you pick me up? My dad confiscated my keys this morning." You knew instantly that she had a story and had gotten into trouble again. "Yeah, I'll be there in three minutes." Her sigh of relief had you shaking your head.

Tara was extremely outgoing and well liked. It was a miracle that she had picked you, the quiet introverted girl with her nose always in a book as best friend. But that had been the case from the first grade till now. She tended to get into trouble with her dad a lot. He was always trying to calm her down and teach her patience. He wasn't mean, just very strict. Sometimes, he would compare the two of you. About how well-behaved you were and your much quieter nature.

She really tried sometimes to play the role he wanted, but it was hard. It was her nature to be loud, rowdy, and very outgoing. Maybe this was why you were friends. You balanced each other out.

Fifteen minutes later, you were settled into your first period English class waiting for the teacher. He was running late as usual. He had a knack for being perpetually late. Around you, you could hear whispers and the scratches of pens as people scrambled to do the homework from last class.

Ever the one prepared for class, your books and notebook sate neatly on your desk. No one was paying you any mind. Too focused on their own affairs. Well, you thought no one was watching you. How wrong you were.

"Well now, look here. The little Kitten is all ready for class." His deep baritone voice sent shivers down your spine. Sylus hadn't used your actual name in years. Ever since the day he'd dubbed you Kitten, that's all he would call you.

He swooped in and grabbed your notebook. Dodging your hands as you scrambled to get it back. "Give it back." You said, trying to remain calm. Getting angry or showing your frustration only spurred him on.

"Then jump for it." He said a smirk on his face as he held the notebook high in the air well over his head. He knew you couldn't get it. Your short stature would never allow it. What he didn't count on was your resourcefulness. Or the fact that you were agile.

Swiftly, you stood from your seat and climbed onto your desk. Anger fueling your actions. You jumped for it, fingers just barely brushing the spine as he changed the way he was holding it.

Forgetting yourself and where you were, you lunged, throwing your full weight at him as you jumped higher. This time, you managed to grasp your notebook. It would seem your mom's insistence on dance classes was not useless.

Sylus stumbled as your full weight pushed him back. He clearly wasn't expecting you to throw yourself at him for the notebook.

"What's going on in here?" The sharp voice of Mr. Reynolds snapped you back to reality. The position you were now in was clearly inappropriate for a classroom. Your body was firmly pressed against Sylus. His hand pressed firmly against your waist. He was practically laying on the desk with you on top of him. Still holding the notebook with your hand tightly grasping it as well.

The look in his eyes was a mixture of surprise, amusement, and something you couldn't quite name.

Mr. Reynolds sharply called your name, and you scrambled back to standing. Face bright red with embarrassment. How you wished the floor would swallow you whole. This had to top any embarrassing moment you'd ever had in your eighteen years on this Earth.

Seeing how mortified you were, Mr. Reynolds turned to Sylus. "Explain yourself right now!" He was angry, face turning red as he glared.

"Just having a bit of fun. Just a joke." Sylus said nonchalantly. His ears were slightly red. Was he embarrassed, too? "Detention, both of you, go right now." He pointed to the door, shaking his finger as he did so. "I do not allow such nonsense in my classroom. If I ever see this level of disregard for school decorum again, I'll have you both expelled. I don't care if you are the star player or the top academic student. I'll not have it!"

Snatching your notebook from Sylus' hand, you scooped up your books and walked to the door, footsteps heavy with dread. Never, not once in all your years of school had you been in trouble. A teacher had never reprimanded you before, never mind yelling at you.

Your eyes burner with unshed tears. This was all his fault. You tried hard not to cry. You would not let him of all people see you shed a tear. A quick glance beside you, he looked completely unphased. How could he be so calm right now?? Anger took over.

"This is all your fault. Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm not a toy for your amusement. I do not exist to entertain you when you're bored." You chest heaved as you finally said what you'd always wanted to. "See me, Sylus. I am not your Kitten. I'm a person." Despite your best efforts you were crying now.

Tears slipping down your face as you finally told him all the things you'd wanted to say for years. You'd stopped walking, and so had he. His face had a broken expression as he stood there helpless while you cried. "See me." You said in a begging tone.

He stepped closer to you, gently pulling your glasses from your face. Using his sleeve, he wiped the tears even as they continued to fall.

He stared down at your face, puffy from crying, nose red. Cupping your cheeks as he looked down at you. You couldn't name the expression in his eyes. It tore at your heart.

How much you wanted something you were sure you couldn't have. Sylus could pick any girl he wanted, so why would he choose you? The small girl, the one who was always studying. Who didn't wear makeup or pretty jewelry. The one who hid herself away instead of showing off what she had. Why would he choose you? With a heart of gold, a fierce loyalty to the few friends you have and a deep love of your family.

Still wiping your tears away with his thumbs, he finally speaks. "Silly girl, why are you so silly? I've always seen you. How can I not see you?" His expression was tender gazing at you like he held the most precious thing in the world.

"You always make fun of me. You're always calling me short and teasing me for never handing in assignments late. For always being top of the class. You called me four eyes in primary school. You pull my hair and hide my books." You sniffle loudly, finally your tears have stopped.

He sighs loudly, breaking eye contact as he hangs his head. "For someone so smart, you're incredibly dense. I hope you know that." He looks at you again. "Have you never heard that a guy will pick on the girl he likes? I don't know how else to get your attention. You're not like other girls. You don't follow after me. You never talk to me unless I start. I've never seen you at any of my games. Tell me how I'm supposed to bring you back to my level?"

He's looking at you earnestly now, but your brain has disconnected. Surely he didn't mean that he liked you. You must have misheard him. "Wh-what did you say?" You stutter out after a minute of silence.

Sylus sighs deeply again. "Words have no effect, I see." He tilts your face upwards more, and before you can react, his warm lips steal yours. If your brain was disconnected before, it's completely offline and mush now. Unable to think of anything, slowly, your hands come up to grasp the lapels of his jacket, crushing them in your grip.

You stand on your toes so he doesn't have to lean down so far. In the back of your head, you're glad he took your glasses off. The lenses would be fogged up now. Pressing yourself closer, you give in. Your lungs are starting to beg for air, but you never want this moment to end.

But end it does, he pulls back, and you stare deeply into his red irises. The depth of his emotions is swirling around, trying to pull you in.

"Do you understand me now?" He asks quietly, watching you intently.

"Why me?" You mumble quietly. "Why not you? I've always been drawn to you. Ever since we were kids. You're like a flame that burns just for me. I don't want to be apart from you anymore. Don't pull away from me now." His voice is not more than a whisper, but it still pierces your heart.

The sincerity in his voice sends you over the edge. Your face burns red again, and you hide it in his jacket. "Is this going to be a habit of yours?" He asks, chuckling as he wraps his arms around you. "Shut up." You mutter against his chest. "We're still in trouble and have detention." He comments, and you freeze. You'd forgotten that detail.

"I'm still mad at you for that." You say stepping back. He grasps your hand and leads you to the office laughing.

****************************************************

I'm so sorry again for the long wait. I hope you get all the fluffy feels out of this that I tried to pack in.

If you want to read my original draft, message me. If you want to take a different route and finish the one I started, I will relinquish it. Just let me know.

[farfaras]

I think I got an ex but I forgot him.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Ao3 link.

-

“Do you really think this is necessary?” Asked Jonathan. “I mean, in what context would we even do this?”

‘This’ being kissing.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I'm a PDA fanatic, Jon. And most people in the party know this. They saw me with Nancy.”

Jon seemed to be debating this. “That's… a point.”

“What's wrong with kissing me? Kissing is not that big of a deal. It's good with anyone.” Steve sighed, he didn't understand why this was an argument.

“Okay,” Jon put his hands up. “Say we kiss and it's normal and not weird, even when we used to not like each other not long ago.” Steve motioned for him to continue. “I say we establish a limit of kisses per day.” That sounds fair.

“How many?” Steve asked.

“How about, say four?” Jonathan proposed.

Steve raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Like four times? Or just four kisses? Be specific here.” Steve needed confirmation, and he was hoping it was times, because who counts kisses?

“Four times. Sure, Steve. Whatever.” Jon managed to read his mind somehow.

“Okay then, kiss me.” Steve said.

“Now?” He seemed hesitant.

“That's the whole reason I came over today, we were gonna practice our displays of affection.” Steve explained. He called Jonathan in the morning. Talked about how his hand holding during the coming out was great and those cheek kisses were cute and all, but they needed a bigger repertoire.

“Just thought we were gonna start smaller.” Jon muttered, kinda sassy like a kid uttering something under his breath so his mom doesn't hear.

Steve laughed. “Like what?”

“I don't know.” Jon was lost in thought for a moment. “Oh!” He snapped his fingers. “We do movie nights sometimes.”

“Okay. What does that have to do with anything?” Steve asked. People really needed to learn to explain themselves better.

“We can practice how we'd act there. You know, during the movie. How would we sit?” Jon finally explained his line of reasoning.

“Huh.” They could do that. “Ideas?”

“Well, we could do a simple arms around the shoulder.” Jon said.

“Boring!” Steve sing-songed. “That's not me at all. Doesn't even feel like something I would do.”

“It seems exactly like something I would do though.” Jonathan said. “What would you do then?”

“Making out, kissing necks, I don't know!”

Jon's eyes widened. “While other people are there? No, you wouldn't.”

“While they're sitting on my lap even.” Steve wiggled his eyebrows.

“Huh, maybe that's it.”

Steve’s face was back to confusion. “What?”

“The middle ground.” Jon continued. Steve just gave him his best please explain what you're saying eyes. “An arm around shoulders is too boring for you, and making out seems too much for me. So maybe being on someone's lap is the compromise.”

“Without making out.” Steve just wanted to confirm he was understanding.

Jon gave him a flat and unimpressed stare. “Yes, Steve. Without making out.”

“Okay, I knew you were smart, Byers.”

“I thought it was,” Jon was using air quotes now, “‘that's babe to you.’”

Steve lowered his voice. “I can call you babe” he also fucking winked.

“Save it for the show.”

Steve got up and sat on a chair near Jonathan's desk. “Okay, come here then.”

“Did we just assume I'm the one who's gonna sit on your lap?” Jon raised his eyebrows.

“Oh my god, if you wanted to feel my ass on you, all you had to do was ask.” Steve used a fake put upon voice so Jon'd know he was just teasing. He stood up and waited for him to sit.

Jon just stared at him, then burst out laughing. “Okay, we can try your way first.”

Steve sat back again on the chair. Jonathan didn't seem like he knew what to do next, he was just standing in front of him. “What are you waiting for? An invitation?”

“I don't think I've ever been this close to a guy before.” Jon pondered.

“Jesus christ,” Steve rolled his eyes. “We've definitely been this close before, maybe not while being friendly, but we've been close.”

“Right.” Jon turned around and sat down. Steve’s hands moved, his right hand on Jon's waist and the other grasped one of Jon's hands, after trailing on his arm.

“Put your arm around me, Jon.” Steve said and Jon listened.

After he did that, they were able to be face to face. “This is not so weird, is it?” Jonathan said.

“Nah. Actually ‘s kinda nice.” Their faces were close, so Steve backed up a little to send a smile Jonathan's way. “Can we kiss now?”

Jon just rolled his eyes at him and giggled. “You're persistent, Harrington.”

Steve just shrugged. “We're going to have to do it eventually.”

“Fine.” Jonathan sighed, looking at his ceiling. So resigned.

“You're acting like it's such a chore, should I be offended?” Steve quizzed. He wasn't actually offended, he thought it was funny. And also hoped Jon wasn't uncomfortable or anything.

“I'm just teasing. It really isn't a chore to kiss an attractive guy at all.” Jon put their intertwined hands on his lap.

“I knew you thought I was hot.” Steve got closer.

“I never told you because I know you're full of yourself and self absorbed, of course.” Steve mocked offense to that. “But we're friends now, so. I like you even if you're full of yourself and self absorbed.”

“Aw, I like you too Jonny boy.” Steve cooed.

“Please don't call me that.” Jon cringed.

“Do you prefer sweetie pie?” Steve rubbed their noses together to maximize the cheesiness.

“I thought we were gonna kiss.” Jon pulled back.

“Oh, now you wanna be kissing.” Steve teased. Jon gave him one of his many flat stares, Steve was getting used to them. “Okay! I'm gonna kiss you now.”

Steve moved the hand that was resting on Jon's waist to put it under his jaw, while Jonathan put his hand on the back of Steve's neck. They were still holding hands, it seemed like a natural thing a couple would do, right? Anyway, Steve guided him until their breaths were mingling, Jon just seemed to be waiting on him. So Steve closed the gap between them.

The kiss was innocent, chaste and close mouthed, lasted a couple seconds and then they were parting. Steve made a face, he communicated through his expression that they could do better, so he went back in. This time his lips were slightly parted, and he thumbed Jon's jaw so he'd do the same. That was moderately successful, but Steve felt like it wasn't enough. He put his fingers on Jon's chin so he could lead him to a more open mouth kiss. The way his tongue entered Jon's mouth was languid and deliberate in his exploration.

Jon made a pleased sound, it vibrated through him and it was like a reflex, the sound of someone being kissed and liking it just made him act on instinct now.

He started trailing kisses on Jon's jaw, then the neck. He let go of Jon's hand, which Jon just used that freedom to sink it in his hair. While Steve rested his on Jon's thigh, trailing a little higher than anticipated. Steve went back to kissing Jonathan. It punched out a tiny whimper out of him, maybe Steve surprised him a bit. This kiss was still slow, like the last one. The difference is that Jon was giving him tongue now, too. They weren't fighting for dominance whatsoever, it still felt like Steve was leading. He felt himself getting a little hot under the collar, and they were running out of breath so he backed off.

Jon's eyes were still closed. “Wow,” he opened his eyes. “That was way better that I thought it was gonna be.”

Huh? “You thought I'd be a bad kisser?!” Steve exclaimed. Even though he was thinking the exact same thing, for different reasons though. Jonathan was into dudes, and Steve considered himself to be a good kisser so it shouldn't be a bad experience for Jon at all! However Steve wasn't into dudes (right?), so it was a surprise that he didn't think this experience was at all bad. It was even pleasant. Could straight guys enjoy kissing a guy? It was just kissing after all.

“I didn't say that!” Jon huffed. “I just thought you'd be more awkward about kissing a guy, that was not awkward at all.”

“It wasn't. I wasn't.”

“It was actually kinda nice.” Jon stated.

“Oh, come on.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Just kinda?” They were still in the same position, Jon's hands had moved to his shoulders. But Steve still had his hands on Jon's waist and thigh. Since Jon's head was above his, it was easy to flutter his eyelashes for him.

Jonathan just laughed and rolled his eyes. “Okay, it was very nice.” He gave in.

Steve impulsively gave him a quick peck and moved them to sit up. “Okay, let's try that again but now I get to sit on your lap.”

Jonathan looked confused, kinda whiplashed, but complied and sat down. Steve, instead of just sitting like a normal person, actually straddled Jon's lap like a crazed little guy. Jonathan, in a turn of events, blushed and didn't even know where to put his hands. Steve easily placed his on Jon's neck.

“This is not what we agreed on.” He wouldn't look Steve in the eyes.

“I just wanted to see if I could fluster you,” Steve lied. “I see now that I could, now back to the original programming.” How anyone didn't realize how much of a dork Steve was, was still a mystery to him. He mirrored Jon's position now. His hands still on Jon's neck. “You can touch me, I'm not gonna bite.” Jonathan shot him a look with suspicion laced in it. “Okay, maybe if you want me to.” Steve joked. He was almost sure it was a joke, anyway.

Jonathan hugged his middle. It was cozy, sitting like this. “Now what?” He asked.

Steve shrugged. “Wanna make out? It was fun.”

Jonathan looked at him like he was crazy. “For fun? You'd do that just for fun?”

“Got anything better to do?”

Jon thought about that for about five seconds before he was shrugging and shaking his head no.

-

As Steve was driving home, after a make out session with none other than Jonathan fucking Byers (they made out for like 20 minutes before Will actually walked in on them, the horror, which actually just helped them gain credibility for this fake dating spiel), he started to contemplate a possibility that maybe and just maybe a straight guy wouldn't have done what he did today.

And listen, kissing has always been one of Steve's favorite things to do. So he thought that no matter who it was it'd be good, or at least okay. But it wasn't just okay. It wasn't even just good. It was hot, and it was sensual, and if they kept going or changed positions he's almost positive that he'd have ended up with a problem.

So now he was confused. When he got home he needed to call Robin. Wait, what was he gonna tell her?

-

“You what?!” She yelled. Robin was pacing around the room. “You're an absolute moron. Oh my god, you're a moron and you're my moron.”

“You gotta understand! I- I panicked completely and you of all people should understand!” He tried to justify himself. Steve was just digging his own hole at this point.

He wasn't going to tell Robin about him fake dating Jonathan. He wasn't! But then he called her and she didn't even let him talk, said she was bored on their day off and invited herself over. Next thing he knew, he was spilling his guts all over the living room with Robin as his witness.

He really can't keep secrets from her.

“If you ignored him, he would've left you alone eventually!” She was talking about Dustin.

“You don't know that!” His voice was high. “Besides you didn't see the look on his face when he told Jon and me that our relationship might help someone who's struggling with their sexuality!” He still remembered that stupid and concerned face. “He was so concerned as a friend and he wanted to support them but didn't know how!”

“Oh god, does he know about me? Am I that obvious?” Robin paled.

“He was trying to set you up with me, he doesn't know about you.”

“Then… who…? Oh.” She calmed down and inhaled quickly just a second later. “I've had some suspicion about that kid for a while.”

“Yeah, well. Apparently Dustin too.”

“His heart's in the right place.” Robin sat down next to him on the couch.

“This isn't even what I wanted to talk to you about.” He complained.

“There's more to this absurdity?”

“So, Jon and I were practicing our kissing,”

“Of course you were.” She said.

“Shut up.” He fixed her a, hopefully, stern look. “We actually ended up making out for about 20 minutes, my suggestion by the way, and I found myself,” He should've thought about his words sooner.

“What?” Robin asked. She seemed patient with him, a ridiculous change of pace from a minute ago.

“Jon is a guy, and I enjoyed making out with him.”

Silence.

“Would you, do you think,” Steve needed to think before he spoke. “Do you think you'd enjoy kissing a guy?”

Robin made a disgusted face. “I would most definitely not enjoy kissing a guy.”

“Okay, but see, I always thought that kissing is just kissing and it would be good with anyone.” Steve explained his point of view, even though it was starting to sound like he was weird for it.

“Even before you knew what it was to kiss a guy?” She asked slowly.

“I mean, yeah, I've thought about guys I'd kiss before.” He responded.

“I've never seen a guy I'd be willing to kiss, Steve. Never even considered it.” She was shaking her head. Her eyes were so inquisitive, and Steve was starting to feel like he was under a microscope. “Maybe think more about that.”

He nodded.

“You want to watch a movie?” He needed a distraction.

“Always.” He really loved her.

-

The movie nights they had weren't strictly planned on a calendar, but they had them at least once a month it seemed like. Tonight was one of those. Steve liked having all of his friends at his house, it was comforting.

Tonight he wasn't even sure what they were watching, it was Lucas’ turn to pick a movie and he must have gone and rented it at family video while he wasn't working ‘cause he didn't remember Lucas renting anything.

The first people to arrive were obviously Robin and Eddie. They usually hung out a bit before the actual movie night, sometimes they stayed the night too. They let themselves in as always and sat down with him.

“Hey guys, want something to drink?” He offered.

“No, thanks, if I want anything I'll get it later.” Robin replied.

“You got coke, Stevie?” Eddie stood up to rummage his fridge.

“Yeah, it must be somewhere in there.” He followed Eddie into the kitchen. “Thought you'd want a beer.”

Eddie emerged with his drink in hand. He shrugged. “Night's still young.”

Steve smiled. “It isn't even night yet.”

“Exactly.”

Once everyone was there, all the kids and Jonathan too, they settled in to watch the movie.

Normally, Steve was in between Robin and Eddie for movie nights. However now that Jonathan and him were “together” they put their plan in action. Before, when they practiced their PDA, they decided that Steve was the one that would sit on Jon's lap. They just felt more comfortable that way, maybe because they spent more time that way but now that was irrelevant. They wouldn't change plans right at that moment.

So Jonathan sat on an individual couch and Steve followed. Right next to them was the couch he normally sat on with Eddie and Robin. He saw Robin visibly pout when she realized she wouldn't be able to sleep on his shoulder when she inevitably grew bored of the film. She gave herself a whole five seconds to mourn her bestie and then she schooled her expression and melted on the couch.

He was so amused with Robin's reaction that he hadn't noticed Eddie's. He actually looked mad. His brows were furrowed, his eyes didn't look happy at all. And his arms were crossed like he couldn't even believe what he was seeing. When he realized that Steve had caught his eye, he looked away and tried to relax. Emphasis on tried.

Steve really wanted to believe that Eddie's reaction was because he was gonna miss Steve being next to him and Robin, and not because of the nature of the relationship that Jon and Steve were portraying. He liked cuddling with Eddie and Robin during movie nights. They're his best friends, and he liked to think they enjoyed that time with him too. So a reaction to that change wasn't totally unwarranted, he just hoped that was the whole reason for it.

At some point during the movie, Jonathan and Steve did share a kiss. It was brief, nothing serious. But right after it happened, Steve heard someone standing up, and he turned to see Eddie leaving to enter the kitchen. He, of course, followed him.

Eddie was just standing in front of the sink.

Steve cleared his throat to announce himself. Eddie soon pretended to be looking for something in the fridge.

“What was that?” Steve asked.

Eddie looked back at him, finally. “What was what?” He closed the fridge, with his hands empty ‘cause he wasn't looking for anything really.

“Is there something you want to tell me Eddie?” He really, really didn't want something to be there.

Eddie crossed his arms. “What are you even implying?” His tone wasn't entirely defensive, it was also hesitant.

“You just, walked out right after,” Steve sighed. “Do you have a problem with me and Jon? I know I already asked you the other day but, you really are acting weird and it's making me nervous because you're one of my best friends and if you do have a problem it's gonna be so-” Steve didn't get to finish because Eddie was right in front of him suddenly and his hands were on his shoulders.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie used the tone of voice he used when he calmed Steve down from a nightmare. “You, you think I'm homophobic?” Eddie sounded pained.

For some reason, Steve realized he was misty eyed. He shook his head. “I would never think that about you, but the way you're acting…”

Eddie crushed him, he was hugging him so tight and Steve will always hug Eddie back.

Eddie stepped back. “I'm not homophobic. Quite um, the opposite actually.”

Steve did not understand subtlety, why did everyone forget that? “I don't- what?”

Eddie smiled fondly at him. He looked down, seemed to be finding courage to say something. He looked back up determined. “I'm gay, Steve.”

“Oh.” Steve nodded. “Thank you for telling me, you know for, trusting me.”

“I trust you the most, sweetheart.” They hugged again, it was longer this time.

When they separated, the look of confusion that was so common on Steve these days came back in full force. “Then why have you been acting so weird lately?” Steve asked.

Eddie opened his mouth, then closed it. He repeated that one, two or three other times. “I- you know, I was totally just,”

“Yeah?”

Eddie shrugged. “I guess I was jealous?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Steve thought that Eddie didn't seem completely sure about what he was saying.

“I'm lonely, okay?! I'm single and you parade around with your new boyfriend, which I should just be happy that you can because let's be honest, where could you guys act like this? Nowhere else!” Eddie was rambling now, but Steve understood what he was trying to say, mostly. “It's just, hard. You know?”

“I'm sorry.” Steve found himself saying.

“Eh. What are you gonna do?” Eddie seemed genuinely sad. Steve hated seeing him like this. He squeezed Steve’s shoulder and went back to the living room.

Steve just stood there for a really long time contemplating what just happened. He had another friend who was into guys. Eddie liked guys. Steve maybe also could like guys. Maybe. Did he? And why did this news leave him so shook? He felt like he could float but also like his stomach had a weight to it that had never been there before. And- god now there was a flutter.

Steve was so fucked.

-

Taglist below.

This is actually the last time I use the taglist (that is over a year old btw). So if you want to keep reading you can either follow the tag "I think I got an ex but I forgot him" or "mer writes sometimes". Thank you for reading!

Tag list.

@iliedaboutthechocolates @my2amgaythoughts @frostbitesoul @kaylakenobi @octopus-in-cripsis @leethegay @yourebuckingkiddingme @marvel-ous-m @messrs-weasley @thevidaren @princessdave @gleek4twd @ntwolf69 @lololol-1234 @fruitmix @thelady-mary @duckyreads @tauntedperfume @pyrohonk @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @raisedbylibrarians @flwerkitty @goodolefashionedloverboi @clumsiluni @lexyvey @martinskis-lydias @gay-stranger-things @gregre369 @woven-of-stingers @addelyin @suddenlyinlove @random-thoughts-004 @trashcanniballecter @weirdasshomo @i-have-three-feelings @finalmoondragon @fancyorangepeels @infinitetrashbag @tartarusfairy @cattywompus1 @eddielives1986 @daleyeahson @simplycodey @satan-is-obsessed @paintsplatteredandimperfect @thefailcollection @alohastitch0626 @r0binscript @ledleaf @evix-syne666 @robin-is-sleepy @unhealthobsesions @estrellami-1 @catlovesfandoms @hellomynameismoo @stardust-era @omgshesinsane @emma-elsa-0000 @bye-zai @contraclockwork @beckkthewreck @newtstabber @aceflavouredyougurt @mistlafey @justalittleobsessedhere @chaoskiro @vhelt @u-a-wizard-jamie @callas-shitshow @pineapplecrispy

[hihigherdi]

She’s home.

I’ve thought about this painting every single day since I saw it. I went back today in pursuit of another errand but I had it on my heart so stopped by to see if it was still in the gallery. It was. I asked the owner what the price was, he recognized me and said “you had a strong connection to this piece, I could see it.”

My eyes filled up and I choked out, I am in the final stages of breast cancer treatment and I see myself in her. That’s probably narcissistic but I cry each time I look at it, I feel it in my heart somehow. That I’m alive and I’m moving and it’s with intention now. I’ve thought about her everyday. So I’m going to buy it, I think that’s what art is supposed to do.

He got emotional and whispered he’d lost his sister to breast cancer 10 years ago. Stage 4. We hugged goodbye for a long time.

Sometimes you just know it’s the time to talk about it.

I put it in my room, it will be the first thing I see when I wake up. It was pretty reasonable for art (I guess?) and the artist just got a piece in the Triton Museum which is so cool, that’s a local museum here in Santa Clara.

The owner took my info and asked if he could share the story with her and I said yes yes yes. Please do. Thank her for me.

I put it where the painting of Mary and Jesus was, a picture that hung in my mom’s chapel. I realized that I can love, honor, respect my mom’s faith for how it healed her but it’s ok I don’t take it in myself. I don’t think my mom in her heart of hearts would have wanted that anyway.

When I was making a lot of money, I rarely spent it. I’m barely making ends meet now and I’m spending a lot, particularly on my home. It’s always been important but now I’m making choices out of what I love, what I want most instead of that desperate hunger to create a home. It’s different, I’m not sure what’s changed. I found a chair that feels like you’re sitting in a cloud. And it’s a recliner. I’m getting it.

I also spontaneously said yes to meeting some of my best friends in Cabo San Lucas. I leave on Saturday. I called one of them randomly a couple of days ago and she’d just landed there - there are so many grey whales and humpbacks in that specific location right now having their calves. S called me later from the beach and said “ I just saw a whale spout on my walk. We have two extra rooms in the Airbnb, so free place to stay, can you come?”

I said no. And then I said yes and burst into tears. It’s for three nights which is perfect. A trip to the mall knocked me out today, this anemia is no joke so a big trip freaks me out but no one expects me to perform or be on. It’s just to love and be loved by lovely people. I feel ok leaving the cats for that length of time though leaving them is always the worst part.

Your girl is definitely in her healing era, maybe in more ways than one.

[changingplumbob]

The baby shower was winding down and Glenn felt like it had been moderately successful. Everyone had been kind to Silver who hadn't needed to tap out at any point. For the most part the talk was good. For the most part.

Jackson: Oh Elise, you are looking gorgeous today

Elise: I know, I look this good everyday

Howard: Help me with the dishes boys

Jackson: Her eyes are so beautiful, like pools of lavender

Coleman: This whole place is beautiful. Like all the green is singing

Koko: The green is... singing?

Coleman: And the flower pot, it's so cute

Silver: Are the two of you... okay

Jackson: Never better Silver my friend. Oh you look so handsome in that jacket

Coleman: It shows off your muscles

Jackson: You're so right

Glenn: Can you not hit on my partner in my house?

At that point Ophelia burst out laughing and the spellcasters that hadn't yet headed home stared at her in confusion.

Jackson: You're pretty when you laugh

Glenn: Did you see something Ophelia?

Ophelia: *through giggling* I can't say

Coleman: I'm pretty when I laugh

Koko: Ophelia?

Ophelia: Maybe if I don't say what happens but why? They accidentally increased the amount of pleasure in Henri's fudge... then ate the whole plate themselves

Elise: *laughing* They used Henri's ingredients to get a magical high? Oh he is going to be so mad

Jackson: Henri is pretty when he's mad

Koko: We should get them home before they embarrass themselves any more

Coleman: Are you going to tuck us in to bed Koko? I'll go if you're there

With a mixture of sighing and giggling Ophelia, Koko and Elise pulled the twins up and set about figuring out the best way home. When everyone had gone Glenn felt himself hit by a wave of fatigue and was desperate for a nap. Unwilling to drag himself up the stairs he settled himself on the couch while Silver took care of the last of the dishes. When the werewolf was finished he went over and snuggled up by the sleepy spellcaster.

Silver: Did you notice how I survived that latest trial

Glenn:*smiling* I did. Did you have a good time

Silver: I don't think I'd call it good

Glenn: *sadly* Oh, I'm sorry

Silver: Oh you did nothing wrong. I think it'll just take more time to shake the feeling of unease when I'm around so many people

Glenn: You were doing so good. You haven't needed to leave for a trip since we moved here

Silver: I was talking to Ophelia for a bit and she told me, healing happens in stages

Glenn: How is it she simultaneously the most clueless person and the smartest person in the room

Silver: I don't know but I think I love it

Glenn: Me to. Do you think we could ask her to be godmother

Silver: I mean... would we even trust her to look after Oakley

Glenn: She was talking about Oakley during the party so I would

Silver: If you want her to be godmother then I have no issue with it

Glenn: You seemed a little calmer after Phoebus talked to you.What happened?

Silver: Oh. Well you know how Drusilla does blood magic? When they were checking stuff on your bun in the oven they were able to trace the bloodlines back and they saw what my mom looked like. I guess they made me a sketch of her from what she saw

Glenn: Really?

Silver: I know, seems out of character for them but it's nice. I've only seen her in my head for decades and now I have a picture I can look at whenever I want

Glenn: Can I see her

Silver: Sure. But the box is upstairs

Glenn: Don't move then. I'm very comfy with you right here

Silver: I won't Babycakes. You have a nap and I'll get it for you after alright

So Glenn napped and this time there were no bad dreams. Just him, Silver and their child hiking through various forests and meadows. When he woke up and Silver left to get the picture Glenn ran his hands over his stomach. Whoever was in there was definitely growing.

Previous ... Next

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Update 2: the germaphobia didn't win bc he sneezed so hard he cried kinda and I can't not hug the people I like when there's tears so that's where we're at now lmao I'm literally so fucked but at least I'm not doing anything the next week 😭 checked him over since caution has been thrown to the wind, dude for sure has the flu but I'm hoping I can dodge it bc I got vaccinated so fingers crossed there. Ran out of tissues, so he's resorted to napkins and his jacket which isn't nearly as hot irl as it is in fic, but this is what it's come to 😔 also he's gone through three more masks and I'm lowkey scared he's gonna run out of those too 😭😭

[tittyinfinity]

everyone wants disabled people to get a job but no one wants to give disabled people the ability to work a job

[tommygotwrittenoff]

i need them to put eddie in a coma so he can have his own little coma dream realization

[black-rose-writings]

It's frightening to me that there are people out there who genuinely believe that autistic or queer people would be happier if they could just take a pill and be "normal". Who believe that wanting acceptance is just another way of saying you want to conform to societal norms. Who think that being "normal" will always be inherently a better and happier state of being, even if its inauthentic.

I love my mom to pieces, but I'm so glad she's not responsible for my medical decisions anymore, because I would not want my life to be in the hands of someone who believes I'd be happier if my brain was rewired to strip me of a core part of who I am as a person, of something that affects every part of my identity and behavior and thoughts, because then I would be "normal".

Like, ma'am, that a horror premise. That's horrifying. And the idea of that happening your child should also be fucking horrifying.

But I guess when you believe all humans ultimately want conformity, it's only logical you'd believe messing with your brain to make you into a different, more conforming person, would be ultimately a good thing.

[kuromi-hoemie]

hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[uinferno]

Not once have I ever dreamed about going to school after graduation, but I do have a concerning amount of dreams where I'm back in my childhood home that I lived in for the first 18 years of my life (that my parents sold right after my first christmas at uni), and honestly that fucks me in an entirely different way.

[girlivealwaysbean]

it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[mirananananan]

what is it called when your mother still tries to guilt you into feeling like shit about not wanting to spend hours and hours at random family events when you are a fully grown adult with other obligations and priorities

asking for a friend

[asexualjedi]

Wait shit tomorrow is thanks giving can’t a bitch get a god damn break huh.

[genekies]

screaming, tearing my hair out, sobbing face down on my bed