#and i got into my first accident a week ago
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HELLO, I was seeing that you were open to requests and I've had this in my head for a long time and I would really like to see something about this, a reader who has a huge scar on his face that is literally ugly, they got it as a child, apart from the fact that it shows part of the teeth of how serious it was and for this reason the reader wears a mask for fear of being told things about them face, I'm sorry if it's something explicit just that sometimes I feel like I don't explain myself
Reader with a scar - Luffy & Penguin
Content: reader is referred to as a âguyâ and a âdudeâ, reader wears a face mask, can be read as platonic, face scarring due to a past accident not specified, fluff and reassurance, a few mentions of Shachi in Penguin's part.
Notes* Hey there! There wasn't a character specified for this ask, so I chose two that I'm less experienced with to write out this prompt with :) male reader because of the pronouns used in the ask! I got really interested in this prompt right away and wrote it immediately upon receiving the ask and absolutely had to post it now so I apologize if the formatting is wonky! I'm on mobile haha
Luffy
When you first met Strawhat Luffy, it was while he was stopped at your home island along his grand adventure
You'd never really paid much attention to pirates and their lives- you had your own to live and figure out anyway
But as you and Luffy became closer- first as acquaintances, then as temporary allies, and then as friends as he boldly declared it in a short amount of time, you started to really like the guy
He'd only asked you about the mask you wore once. But the second you tried to answer him, he was distracted by dinner. After that, it was if he'd forgotten all about his question
It was kind of nice that way, not needing to worry about constant pestering or comments about it
Luffy truly didn't give a shit what you wore on your face at all. He cared about you (and your food, of course)
Luffy had a way of making you feel as if you could trust him to see your face. What you've kept hidden for most of your life, after a terrible accident had, in your opinion, ruined your life
But Luffy's care for you was unlike anything you've ever felt before. Luffy made you feel safe, protected, and just a little anxious at how willing he was to throw himself in harm's way to help you, the appointed new friend
One evening, you decide that you do in fact want to talk to him about your past. It's a decision you've been thinking over for a while, but actually getting up and moving to Luffy's room is such a sudden action, and then you're suddenly seeking him out in the dead of night on his ship to tell him about your scar.
The Thousand Sunny was still docked peacefully at the edge of the south side of your island, where you had originally met them what felt like so long ago. In reality, it had only been about a week since the Strawhats arrived, and yet it felt like so much longer in the chaos.
Their gangplank was pulled up, but before you could start trying to climb the ship's side, you spot Luffy out on the deck- evident by the straw hat on his head.
You call out his name, and he turns right away. With a grin quickly spreading on his face, he hops off the sunny and onto the grassy island floor. He calls your name happily.
âWhat are you doing over here? Is something wrong?â He asks.
You tell him it's not that, and he picks up on your unease.
âWell, what is it? It's hard to tell but you look like something's bothering you. Are you hungry?â
You shake your head, and you begin to explain. You tell him about your accident, about how your face was scarred and disfigured. You tell him about your upbringing, how hard it was to fit in with the other kids while you looked like that.
You can feel yourself getting emotional. Luffy can hear it in your voice, too. He calls your name in a stern tone- one he only seems to use when he gets serious.
âListen, I don't care about all that crap.â He speaks. And though his words are blunt, you know he means them in the best way.
âI like you. You're a really nice guy, and you fight really well. So what else matters? You think I care if you've got a scar on your face?â
He stares at you, and you feel it in the center of your chest.
âYou should feel free to do whatever you want! If you want to wear your mask then that's fine. But if you don't, then take it off! And if people don't like it, that's their problem! If they don't want to get to know you because of what your face looks like, then they're the ones that are missing out!â
You can feel tears in your eyes. There's something about the way Luffy says- no, declares it so passionately that leaves no doubt in your mind of his pure fondness for you.
Through your tears, you can see Luffy's smile, and your heart soars.
Penguin
You'd been a Heart Pirate for a short amount of time, but somehow you had made quick friends with many people on the Polar Tang- one of them being the man who called himself, âPenguinâ with the hat to prove it
There was something about him that was so easy to click with. Maybe it was your shared sense of humor, or the fact that you found it hilarious watching him and his partner in crime Shachi get into trouble for pulling pranks around your Captain (for the millionth time)
You weren't the only person on the crew who wore a full face mask, either. So while he was curious and questioned it in the beginning, one word from you to leave it alone and he backed off. Surprisingly.
Still, you definitely caught him eyeing you at times. The urge to pull the mask off your face to see what you were hiding was strong in him, but you two were friends and he wouldn't do that to you
One evening, Shachi had been pressing you just a little too much about the matter and he'd said, âWhat, are you ugly or something under there?â
Which earned a swift smack to the back of his head from Penguin, chastising him for saying something that insensitive
He'd noticed the way your teeth clenched, how tense you got. It had obviously hit home, and he made Shachi apologize for his rude joke right then and there
After that though, he found himself wondering why. Why did you think you were ugly? What were you hiding? Did you actually have a reason to be insecure, or was it something more?
He cared about you. He didn't want you to feel like you couldn't be yourself around them- the Heart Pirates were your family now, and a proper family didn't hurt each other for something so miniscule.
You had gotten over the comment, but Penguin had already begun his mission.
It was late into the evening. The chores were done for the day, and Penguin wanted to catch you before you went to bed. He wasn't really sure what he was gonna do or say, but he knew he wanted to address it before the worry drove him to insomnia.
He searches the halls for you and eventually finds you in the common room. He calls your name cheerfully, thankful that you're alone here- at least for the time being.
You greet Penguin, looking up from what you'd been doing. He takes a seat nearby and starts to make idle chatter, asking you about your day, telling you a bit of gossip, smiling when he gets you to laugh.
Then he clears his throat and switches gears, moving on to the conversation he really came here for.
âSo, uh⊠There was something I wanted to talk to you about.â
You watch him fidget for a minute. He's not good with feelings at all, and he's trying to figure out how to bring this up without accidentally offending you. Eventually, he finds the words.
âSo⊠About what Shachi said a while back. I was kinda worried about it.â
You quickly assure him that it was fine, that Shachi apologized and he only meant it as an, albeit bad, joke.
âYeah, but⊠I don't know. It looked like it really bothered you. I hope you don't think that, like, we would think you're ugly or something! Whatever you look like under there, you're still the same cool dude we know. Nothing would change that. I guess I just wanted to say that.â Penguin shrugs.
You're not sure what to say to that. Your initial reaction is bitter- to insist that actually they would think you're ugly if they could see your face. But something stops you, and you get stuck just choking on your words.
âLook, I'm just saying, it bothers me to think that you don't like the way you look. I'm not saying you have to show me your face or anything, but just⊠If you choose to take your mask off one day, I hope you know that we'd love you all the same. You'll always be our family, no matter what you look like.â
You nod, because it's all you can bring yourself to do in the moment. It's nice, hearing that reassurance.
Penguin quickly changes the subject to try and dissipate the tension in the room made by the serious conversation, going on about something stupid Shachi had done that got him into some shit with the Captain earlier, which makes you laugh.
His words stick to your heart -You'll always be our family, no matter what you look like- and you know that when you do decide to show yourself to them, that you'll be alright.
#one piece#harleyasks#harley writes#hwop#luffy x reader#one piece luffy#straw hat luffy#monkey d luffy#op penguin#one piece penguin#penguin op#penguin x reader#op penguin x reader
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the past few weeks have been the most insane in recent memory. iâm also going back to school in a month so it feels like life is going at 200mph
#text#iâm starting a histology 1 year program in the fall and that has brought so many other things out of the woodwork#i finally saw a pcp for the first time in 5 years#i have to learn how to drive so iâve been doing that#and i got into my first accident a week ago#i have been getting supplies and my id and uniform and just preparing#and i need to adjust my work schedule so itâll give me time for in person (!!!) class and for homework#and i graduated in january but i havenât set foot on a college campus since march 2020#and in general did not get any of the college experience so iâm excited for that. and to be in a lab again for the first time in years#local biology graduate has not touched lab equipment in 3 years and feels totally normal about it i promise
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idk this entered my brain the other night and wouldn't leave until i got out of bed and drew it
#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sega#sonic fanart#eerrrm#my art#i left his glove cuffs off by accident first and then when i tried to draw them back in it looked weird so i left it :/#i promise i draw more than just shadow these days ive just got the artblock bug and am trying to show off garbage i made months/weeks ago#im also procrastinating hard on submitting my grad school app because it scares me <3
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like âyou'll never understand what it's like to be a victimâ#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see âtrans eldersâ going on about how âif you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i amâ i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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[Start ID. A drawing of @mieczmaszyna 's character Izzy. In the words of its creator, Izzy is a humanoid robot with a white chassis, oval head, black headset, square green glasses, claws, and a tail resembling a cable plug. Ai wears a cowboy hat, vest decorated by a star and bottle cap, pants with tassels, spurred boots, and a red bandanna. He's viewed from the side, kicking up one leg and holding both arms out in front of itself to shoot finger guns, looking excited and rather jaunty. The background is a dull yellow-green, muddied by the warm reddish tone of the drawing, and in paler green are the words "BANG BANG!!" by ais arms. End ID]
robot cowboy!!!
#peridots-art#bots#others' ocs#izzy#mieczmaszyna#gotta admit doing all the shading here was. very fun. insert medic hoo noise#i don't know if people usually read these but @ the intended recipient of this post! if you are!!#i remember first liking your art a year ago (actually only about a week off now lol) when it crossed my dash for the first (/only) time#and then found it again whilst enjoying the funky robot dudes (yesm/p03) and their respective games and I fell in Love with your style#i also was always enthused by the number of my fixations that you also liked! fnv! insc! ultkll! tf2 and hylics which i've never played!#and then there's hk which has been my most prominent special interest for close to two years so. safe to say that was. AWESOME to see#ALSO ALSO!! i think we may be like. mutuals-in-law*2??#by which i mean one of my two closest friends on this site (holly) is mutuals with a cool artist (sodapop)#who i learned by accident that you've sent asks to before. either way it's cool :]#reserving the caption 'robot cowboys my beloved' for the future cause there are too many! victor and p03 and my own guy atoya and now this?#it is a wonderful problem. anyway i'm also looking at P3RI and realizing how many traits they and izzy share by accident lol#think. that should be all the tags (see: incoherent rambling). really like your stuff and have been meaning to draw something for you for#a while just got nervous đ
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Today was such a mixed bag in terms of events that happened (so much happened đł) but Iâm currently riding the high of having found the perfect dress that makes me genuinely feel pretty and happy about my body! The last time that happened was prom 10 years ago with a ridiculous ball gown Iâll never wear again lol but thatâs not even the best part! The best part of this perfect dress that will work for all occasions- casual get togethers, weddings, date nights, etc depending on jewelry and outerwear- is that it was found at a thrift store for $5!! Literally could not have been more perfect đ„° after 3 kids I had kind of resigned myself to never really liking my body again and was focusing on body neutrality. But this dress gave me such a confidence boost! I didnât even know it was possible.
#personal#like sure okay two of my three kids were stung by bees today#and two separate plans in two different locations were ruined because of said bees#btw did you know that if you get stung and go to your car to get away from the bees that they can somehow follow your car? who knew?#and maybe one child got a really bad nosebleed while also dealing with a bee stings#and maybe there was a bathroom accident due to a child not letting us know they had to go quickly enough#but hey! who cares about any of that! I got a great new dress đ„°#oh also my mom went thrift shopping with me and while I was picking her up her neighbor had a free giant doll house on the curb!#so we also got a super awesome dollhouse that the kids are in love with đ#also the bee stung kids are absolutely fine we dont seem to be dealing with any allergies#the baby was actually the first one to get stung (đ„șđŁ) but sheâs fine#she didnât even cry and kept looking at me like I was crazy when I was worrying over her#meanwhile I was stung a few weeks ago and it hurt so badly!#my baby is making me look like⊠wellâŠ. a baby lol
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holy shit my dad is going to get my kitten killed
#so#I just got a kitten a few days ago#her name is pepita and she is an angel#but he keeps taking our VERY LARGE DOG (German Shorthair Pointer) into my room (where she stays w/ the door shut) to meet her#or taking pepita to the living room to try and introduce them#...and at first it was a bit funny because he was so scared of her and the size difference was kinda cute#but now he's getting 'more comfortable' with her and at the end of today's little 'session' he started to get nippy and bitey#and considering this little bastard is a hunting dog#i am scared as hell that my dad or brother is going to try and have a 'play date' between my baby kitten (who's less than 12 weeks old)#and this big ass dog that's literally trained to hunt small animals and could hurt her so easily by accident#...i'm scared#if i come home from work and my baby is dead i'm going to lose my shit
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srry homie for what im boutta do
for the au[other colors] i thought it would be cool to have klugs parents show up for a couple scenes, but for the timeline of the major events i needed them GONE and UNRESPONSIVE.
hes smart so i think, even at a young age, he gets that they're busy with work and all, and he's not alone per say- his friends and teachers and everyone in primp would definitely look out for him, but ive just been thinking. because like, i thought itd be cool if it was almost like strange also helped raise klug. as a (malicious) mentor of sorts. after they made truce (that they both keep breaking)
i imagine klugs parents are probably good people, but are horrible as parents. like they just keep doing their own thing and just let the village raise him.
but then that got me thinking, in this setting, do you think he would unknowingly (or maybe knowingly but trying not to think about it) resent them for not being there for him growing up?
#click for some deranged ramblings below with almost zero context#its other colors tadaaaa-*.#like klugs mom is awesome dark wizard but is too busy doing deep dungeon dives for months at a time to be home#shes a field scholar if you will#and klugs dad is very awesome sought out healer or whatever that also does dungeon runs. but he also does traveling healer stuff#i also thought itd be cool if they were divorced but on good terms and klug's primary guardian is supposed to be his mom#hence the looking up to her lots#oh i think#im pretty sure i got the jobs idea from someones headcanon years ago#im like 95% sure thats not a me idea#not my original idea <_<#hold#hold on now i gotta find it#edit: i found it!!!!! from minun @/marisexmas from way back when!!#anyway!! yea#ive been thinking about this because i was thinking of a scene before bed where klugs dad came back home like 6 months ***after***#klug had left the hospital. and then duh duh; plot plot#klug sees his dad packing again one night (its been a week max) to leave and he went âyour leaving...?â#and the âalready..?â goes unsaid but its clear from the tone and his dads like yeah they need me back at [hospital some countries away]#and he's all âokay klug remember to rest some your not looking to good stillâ and he just leaves#but the only reason his dad came in the first place was because his mom couldnt since she was balls deep in some dungeon#in the buttfukc of who knows where#but it#the accident was MONTHS AGO so the cruel part of klugs brain is all#damn what if i died?? would it have taken months for yall to show up#then too; if you even come????#and i woke up instantly to Write That Shit Down#((ngl mostly because the scene in my head was *chefs kiss* artstyle wise i mean. the colors were nice))#anyway this started because i wanted klug to battle strange and red ami but for serious reasons and then i backtracked just a bit#other colors
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There's a really non-obvious consequence to all those "smart" appliances out there. Your average corporation lasts less than ten years before it's acquired, goes bankrupt, or is no longer doing the thing it first started out doing. However, all those internet-of-things gadgets still need someone to be paying the server bill, otherwise half of the features go "poof."
This is great for me: I get cheap appliances, tools, construction robots, and pseudo-sentient war machines because most of their functionality required a now-nonexistent web service to be working. For instance, this oven I pulled out of a ditch works perfectly fine to cook food, but the "Turkey Mode" that makes an obnoxious gobbling sound on Thanksgiving Day no longer activates on its own.
Not everything is as lucky. Lots of gadgets are just totally useless, so they get turned into other things. A lobotomized robot lawnmower quickly became a regular ol' human-operated lawnmower with the attachment of a Princess Auto two-stroke engine and a very, very long wood pole. And then there's the stuff that just gets plain weird.
A few weeks ago, I got a new microwave from the "gettin' spot." It was due to be recycled, to be turned into some other microwave. I figured it would still work perfectly fine, so I brought it home, plugged it in, and got ready to heat up some Pizza Pockets. Nothing doing: the screen had only one functional "app" remaining.
On its flickering high-dollar OLED screen, I saw the words "death prediction date." And, clicking on it, the microwave began to read out an entirely plausible date and cause for my personal demise. For a couple days after, guests to my house were also amazed by the microwave's chillingly reasonable projection of their inevitable fatal accident or terminal illness.
I'll never know why the Guangzhou Champion Home Appliance Company imbued the microwave with such an eerie memento mori, but I am grateful for it. The whole experience taught me that life is short, far too short to listen to some snarky-ass microwave that won't even cook a Pizza Pocket. If it's so smart, maybe it should have guessed that I was going to drag it behind my truck on the highway until the transformer â with its delicious, copper-rich windings â fell out.
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#pos#recovery#my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!!#and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though.#what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth
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sparkling juice
words: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ only!!!, p in v sex, unprotected sex, virgin!reader, dubcon, drugging/tricking reader into drinking, established relationship, innocent/shy!reader (at least at first wink wink), kinda dark!rafe but really he just wants to bang reader reaaaaal bad
âthis is so sweet, rafey.â you coo, your hand held firmly in his.
âanything for you baby.â rafe pulls you along the path, further out into the meadow until you get to a shaded area under a tall tree.
âhere is perfect.â rafe says, setting the picnic basket down and draping the large blanket he brought with him.
âthank you.â you tell rafe, pulling him in for a sweet kiss before sitting down.
âi brought all your favorites.â rafe says, taking a spot next to you and opening up the picnic basket.
you let out a little squeak in excitement and seeing all your favorite foods before your brows scrunch together as you point at a bottle. âwhat's that?â
âthat's um⊠sparkling juice. that's all, baby.â of course, rafe knows that's not all it is, but you don't need to know that yet.
rafe pulls out some food for you to snack on, not hungry himself, happy to watch you nibble on crackers and bite into juicy strawberries.
âwanna try some juice with me baby?â
âmhm, of course rafey.â you watch his large hands as he fills two plastic cups, handing one to you. âdrink slow.â
you nod in response before taking a sip, pulling away and sputtering. âew!â
âoh, baby.â rafe pouts. âdo you not like it? im so sorry i thought you would.â
âlet me⊠let me try to drink it again. i think im just not used to the carbonation.â you take another sip, able to control your reaction better. âit's not bad!â rafe can tell you're lying, but he lets out a fake sigh of relief and smiles at you.
âso glad, baby. we can keep drinking while we talk, yeah? tell me about your day.â
rafe knows the easiest way to get you distracted is to have you talk, and so as you describe your day, which leads into your plans for next week, which leads into how much you love rafe, you keep taking sips as rafe refills just your cup.
âi⊠my head feels kinda fuzzy.â you frown, setting the drink down, realizing your fingers are also slightly numb.
âuh oh.â rafe pouts, drawing his thumb over your cheek. âmaybe it's the heat. why don't you lay down?â
âyeah.â you nod, laying back onto the blanket, surprised how plush it is from the soft long grass underneath it. âim-â you let out a sudden giggle. âim like really in love with you, rafey.â
âim really in love with you too, kiddo.â rafe adjusts himself to lay next to you, propped up on his side to keep an eye on your reaction as the alcohol you didn't know you were drinking slowly takes effect. âthat's why i planned out this whole picnic for you. and brought you special juice.â
âwas there-â you hiccup, words slurring slightly. âanything special in the special juice?â
âhm.â rafe sits up, picking up the now half empty bottle. his eyes widen in fake shock as he reads the label. âoh no baby! i must have grabbed the wrong bottle! i meant to get us sparkling juice but i got us sparkling wine!â
âim⊠im drunk?â you put together what rafes words mean, mind working slowly.
âim so sorry.â rafe moves to hover over you, cupping your cheek. âwill you forgive me?â
âcourse.â you nod quickly. âwas an accident.â
âyou're so sweet baby.â rafe brings his lips down on top of yours, kissing you wildly, mouths and tongues a passionate mess.
âshould we go get some water to help⊠get rid of this feeling?â you ask rafe as he shifts to kissing your jaw.
âthat's so smart, baby, but i can't drive us home drunk, and you don't have your license.âÂ
you knew how to drive well enough, but in your 20 years of life, never felt the need to actually get your license. your parents drove you around as a kid until you started dating rafe a year ago, and then he drove you around everywhere.
âoh, right.â you nod, letting out a small gasp as rafes kisses move lower, exploring your neck. this is where you usually stop him, pull his head back up to kiss your lips and remind him you want to wait. not necessarily until marriage, but a bit longer, until the time is right.
âwe should do something to pass the time, baby. until the alcohol is out of our system.â
âdoesn't eating help?â you try to remember what you heard your friends talk about, since you're not a drinker yourself. âwe could share the rest of the crackers.â
âi was thinking⊠we could finally make love.â rafe suggests, pulling back to look in your eyes, watching the way your brain is fighting against the alcohol in your system.
âwell, you did take me on this nice picnicâŠâ
âmhm.â
âand we have been dating for over a year now.â
âyes.â
âso⊠i suppose we could.â you shove down any doubting voices in your head, letting the looseness of your inhibitions guide your actions as you lean forward to kiss rafe again.
âthank you baby.â rafe repeats his words between kisses, his weight shifting to his elbow as his other hand holds your waist, before moving up until it's cupping your breast.
âoh!â you gasp, surprised by how good it feels. rafe smiles, tugging at your dress until the material is below your bra, pushing your breasts up.
âwhat if someone sees?!â you hiss out. it's not likely someone would come by, but rafe doesn't want to ruin his chance to finally have you.
âokay.â he pulls your dress back up, settling for touching you over the material as he distracts you with soft kisses once again. âill just push your dress up. that way if anyone comes by you can easily cover yourself up.â
âmhm.â you nod, eyes sliding shut, head fuzzy from the alcohol and now from the pleasure building in your system.
rafe reaches down to pull his cock out of his pants, leaving himself mostly covered as well. he begins to slowly stroke himself, already halfway hard just from the excitement.
âoh!â rafe hadn't even realize your eyes had opened up until your outburst.
âit's okay, baby.â rafe says. he's well aware this is your first time seeing his cock as he waits for you to form a reaction.
âi⊠i want to feel.â you reach down, cautious hand, still numb at the fingertips as you stroke over rafes length, eyes widening when you realize how hard it truly feels..
âcan you⊠can you not look?â you ask shyly, hand still slowly moving as you speak. âat me.â
âbaby, you know i find you beautiful. all of you⊠but if that's what you want, okay.âÂ
âjust⊠look away for a minute.â you wait for rafes gaze to turn to the meadow, watching the flowers sway in the breeze as he hears you shuffling around on the blanket to take your underwear off.
âokay.â you say.
rafe looks back to you, smile growing as he realizes you're laid back down once again, dress pushed up to your thighs, just enough to hide your privates.
âill be nice and slow, okay? and you tell me if anything hurts.â rafe moves over you, waiting for you to nod before reaching down with one hand to grab his cock. he keeps your skirt as far down as he can while tucking his dick between your thighs. he moves until he bumps skin, letting out a breath when he realizes you are wet.
he rubs his cock through your folds, watching the way your face twists in pleasure, brows pulling together and mouth dropping open.
you let out a moan when rafe hits what he assumes is your clit. he focuses the head of his cock on it for a moment before sinking lower to your entrance.
rafe manages to keep his word, pushing in slowly. he may have been buttering you up for an entire year just to get in your pants, but now he wants more than just once, you're well and truly his, and he plans on exploring with you until you're transformed from innocent girlfriend into personal slut.
âoh! oh, rafe!â your hands move to grip his shoulders. âthat⊠that feels really good!â
âdoesn't hurt at all?â rafe can tell he's stretching you somewhat, but clearly by your rapid shaking of your head no, you're not feeling any pain.
âgonna f-make love to you now then.â he swings his hips back before pushing forward, and soon your moans are filling the meadow, being carried away by the wind as he thrusts into you.
âso, so good, rafey.â you cry out, back arching off the picnic blanket. rafe smiles. your first time, and you're already behaving like this. he's going to turn you into a whore sooner than he thought.
âfu-fudge!â you shout out, making rafe chuckle softly as you use your curse word substitute just like you prefer doing.
âyou feel so good round me, baby.â rafe says, bending down to kiss your neck. âlove the way you're squeezing me.â
âharder.â you whine out. rafes eyebrows raise, but he doesn't question your demand, pushing his hips faster, slamming into you more. your dress pushed up from all the motion to reveal rafes cock burying itself inside your pussy.
he lets out a moan as you grip onto the blanket, not caring about him being able to see you as you feel a high building inside of you.
âi think im close.â you say.
âcum for me baby. ill cum with you.â rafe says, bringing a hand down to your clit, your moans doubling as he rubs over it with his thumb.
your high hits you suddenly. it takes a perfect thrust from rafe a long with his thumb flicking over your clit and your wall breaks with a scream, hips rising off the checkered fabric as you cum, pussy clenching around rafe as he spills inside of you with a moan of his own.
you both collapse in a heap, faces flushed and chests rising and falling rapidly.
rafe pulls out of you carefully before flopping onto his back.
âthat was really good, rafey.â you cuddle into his side, resting your head on his chest.
âthank you for trusting me enough to do that with me, baby.â he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
âof course.â your eyes are on rafes cock, still halfway hard despite just cumming. you reach down, ghosting your fingers along his length before swirling your fingertip over the head then against his slit as rafes hips twitch from the overstimulation.
âdo you think we can do that again? and then maybe when we get home? after you're good to drive, of course.â you look up at rafe with what he thought were big, innocent eyes, but he's quickly realizing you've got a different side just below the surface.
-- six months later --
âugh, rafe!â you groan as he presses buttons on the controller, eyes firmly on the screen.Â
âpromise baby, will be done in five minutes.â he says, barely glancing to you.
you're tired of being ignored as you pull off the only clothing you are wearing, a big t-shirt of rafes to cover yourself. rafe glances over, realizing you're now completely nude as his fingers freeze.
âi want to fuck. if you're not gonna help me, im gonna go help myself.â you shrug.
rafe tosses the controller onto the floor, a proud smile on his face. you've become just who he's always wanted you to be. âof course im gonna help you baby, come get on this dick.â
#i wrote this on my phone so there are probably a lot of mistakes#sorry!#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe imagine#rafe one shot#rafe blurb#rafe drabble#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron blurb
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i swear ive broken the same toe 3+ times now like if you did an x ray of my left foot thw middle toe would just be a gnarled mess of bone atp
#i slammed it on the top of a coffee table a few days ago trying to take my socks off while standing up#its like i must have no spacial awareness of my leftmost 3 toes bc wtf#i first broke it by literally kicking a brick on accident in like 7th grade and i limped on it for WEEKS#otherwise i got them strong bones all my bone breaking events are concentrated into my one toe#call me cracker toe joe#birdsong
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Harana | Jungkook
harana (n.): the act of wooing someone by serenading them
â summary:
Unwilling to settle down with you after five years of dating, Jeon Jungkook decides to break up to chase after his dreams. In the aftermath, you leave your hometown, desperate to forget your past and relearn what it means to be on your own. Two years later while on your way to work, you pass by a familiar voice singing songs about a girl he had left behind.
{or alternatively: Jungkook still sings the love songs that he wrote for you. He still means them, too.}
â genre: busker!au, exes to lovers, angst, humor â warnings:Â jimin is insane and kinda crude (he has some issues going on), jungkook is a pathetic wet bunny but he's trying his best, oc has So Many Problems, so much arguing and yearning, ambiguous ending??? but my god there is hope!! the humanity of it all!! â words: 16.1K â a/n: HOLY SHIT IM BACK (kinda) and happy new year!! yeah ok its march but im relearning how to form coherent sentences so be patient ;w; this is the first installment of my hfoh series that i teased a LONG time ago... i made it a resolution to complete this series by the end of the year before i kms (Keep Myself Safe) so here's to a brand new year :D (oh god @ universe pls be kind)
part of the âheart full of hugotâ series
Two days before the incident, your shower nozzle decides to explode.
Okay, you have to admit that statement is a little misleading. Shower nozzles, in all its nonsentience, do not randomly decide to explode no matter how much you try to defend yourself to your landlord. Maybe your grip had been a little too harsh that morning, or maybe hanging 5 pounds of hair products on the handle had been a bit too much for the old sport to handle. Or maybe, just maybe, the universe was warning you about the incident.
Whatever it was, it doesnât erase the fact that your shower would be out of commission for the next week or so (though your landlord seems adamant about prolonging your suffering as long as possible). Until then, youâre going to have to find some other ways to keep the grease and grime from building on you. Heavens know that you already have a thriving ecosystem living in the back of your couchâyou donât need another one growing under your armpits.Â
Lucky for you, you have friends. More importantly, you have friends who have showers. There is one problem thoughâall your friends live on the other side of the country.Â
Itâs been two years since you moved to the Big Cityâąïž, but you have done little to grow your social network. Call it introversion or depression, either way, you have no more contacts on your phone than you did when you left your hometown. Well, except for one person, if you could even consider him one. Frankly, you didnât have a choice.
âWelcome to my humble abode, stinky,â Jimin greets you as you enter his house. Your nose is instantly assaulted by the smell of Bath & Body WorksÂź Sweet Pea, reminding you once more why you didnât consider him a friend.Â
âHey,â you reply gruffly, shucking your ratty shoes near his entrance. Your shoes look incredibly out of place amidst the sea of designer Chelsea boots and a singular pair of thigh-high heels. You take a glance at his living room, already feeling worse about yourself tenfold.
You had met Park Jimin by complete accident, much like how his mother probably felt when she first saw him too. You had never known anyone quite as⊠interesting as him, to put it lightly.Â
When you got your job as a hostess for a luxury bar and restaurant, you figured you wouldnât make many friends with your coworkers. Everyone was so⊠pretty, but in the shiny, untouchable sort of way. Almost all of the servers were as gorgeous as the models youâd see in magazines. You hadnât known that the owners only hired a certain âdemographicâ of people for their restaurant, and you were equal parts flattered and disgusted that youâd somehow made it (though you suppose your bullshitting skills were all to thank).Â
Unsurprisingly, even the bartenders were gorgeous, including one Park Jimin. He did have an aura to him that screamed âIâm a cut above the rest and I know it,â but that could just be the gold chains dripping down his neck. You almost mistook him as one of the patrons who mistakenly made his way behind the bar, and knowing the sort of clientele youâve had to deal with so far, you wouldnât have been surprised. It took a couple of weeks before you finally found out who he was (and what his fucking problem was).
Jimin was a part-time bartender with a full-time job as a bitch a self-made entrepreneur. Which is to say, he sold⊠tasteful photos of himself on the internet. You had nothing against his line of work. In fact, you would go far as to say you didnât give a shit what he did outside of your shared workspace. But if thereâs one thing Jimin is, itâs that he hates being ignored.Â
So when you were adamant about not oohing and aahing at everything that makes Park Jimin perfect, he made it his self-appointed mission to befriend you. Or at least thatâs what he claims, but given how he treats you lesser than the shit that cakes his cheeks, you have a lot of doubts. Perhaps heâs never made an effort to make a friend, hence his inexperience with being a decent human being. Or perhaps heâs just an asshole, but who is to say? The point is: heâs the only person you knew in this godforsaken city who would likely allow you to use his shower without being awkward about it and thatâs that.Â
The worst part about being an acquaintance with Park Jimin was that he lived in the richest area of Downtown but he wasnât old money, thatâs for sure. His entire essence screamed overconsumption, and his myriad of little trinkets littered across his apartment confirmed your previous assessment. You wouldnât be surprised if you opened his freezer and found ten types of ice sorted assorted by color and shape like the extra bitch that he was.Â
He made his money through sheer force, and it would have impressed you if he wasnât, you know. Him.
âBathroom is over there. I placed a towel and other shower amenities that you can borrow,â he says pointing to a door with a large âFART ZONE: ENTER WITH CAUTIONâ sign taped to it. You donât ask.
âThanks,â you say flatly. You wait patiently for his out-of-pocket comment.Â
Like clockwork, Jimin smirks. âSure thing. I gave you the super heavy-duty stuff. Figured youâd burn a hole through my expensive towels with how stinky you are, with your yeasty cuââ
âAaaand Iâll be done in a few minutes. Thanks again Jimin,â you interrupt, making your way to the bathroom and slamming the door with as much force as you can muster. You hear something fall as the door shuts, and you vaguely hear Jimin mutter something about his âfart zoneâ signage.Â
You begin to prepare your shower routine, humming lowly as you go about your business. You try to ignore the suffocating scent of ten million diffusers entering your nostrils, wondering for the umpteenth time if Jimin is suffering from long-term olfactory dysfunction.Â
âFocus, Y/N. The quicker you shower, the quicker you can get the fuck out of here,â you whisper to yourself. However, in your haste, you knock over Jiminâs towel by accident. When the towel falls, a sheet of sandpaper slips out from underneath it, and you stare bemusedly until it finally hits you.
âYOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH!âÂ
From behind the door, you can hear Jiminâs infamous cackle. âDid you find the loofah? I got it just for you, darling!â he shouts back through his laughter, and you just grumble back in response. How on earth no one has strangled him to death, you have no idea.
âWhatever. Iâm gonna shower now! Go beat off or whatever the fuck you do in your spare time,â you grouse, stripping as quickly as possible.
When the first droplets of water hit your body, you canât help but breathe a sigh of relief. You had both anticipated and dreaded going to Jiminâs house, but you desperately needed the shower. So you go through your routine, trying to find some semblance of relaxation throughout the process. However, it seems that Jimin was yearning for a little bit of attention as he chose to recline on the other side of the door and chat your ear off. Peace was never an option, it seems.
âHey, Y/N! So why havenât I seen you at work recently?â Jimin hollers from his living room. Despite the wall separating you, his voice manages to retain its volume.
You squirt a large glob of Jiminâs (expensive) conditioner onto your hands. âWhat do you mean? I go to work every day. You were the one who hasnât been clocking in.â
You can hear Jimin scoff. âUm, correction! I went to work last Friday, which so happened to be your day off. If I didnât know any better, I would have assumed you were avoiding me.â
And right you are, you think. But instead, you say, âYeah, what a coincidence. Iâll be back to my regular schedule on Monday, though.â
âSo that means you didnât see the Justin Bieber wannabe stationed outside the restaurant then?â Jimin asks, voice miffed. âThe guy suddenly sat down by the entrance window and a whole damn crowd started to appear! The absolute nerve of these peopleâdonât they know Park Jimin was just past the doors?âÂ
This provokes Jimin to go on his long epic soliloquy, which youâve learned to drown out over the past two years. He could go on hour-long tirades if he wanted, and any interruption from you would just bounce off his nonfunctioning ears. And so, you allow his voice to fall to the back of your mind, similar to white noise if it wasnât so grating.
However, this was likely your greatest mistake. If you hadnât been so exhausted, or if Park Jimin hadnât been so damn annoying all the time, or if the stars had aligned just right⊠Maybe you would have been forewarned about the incident. Itâs as if the universe was screaming at you to pay attention, but alas⊠You were standing on the proverbial highway, unbeknownst to the incoming traffic because you had your metaphorical AirPods on.
So there you are, completely showered but none the wiser to your impending doom, naively looking to the future with unsuspecting eyes. Even if you had known of what was to come, would avoiding it even be possible? In hindsight, you suppose not, but you still kick yourself for being so blind. If only youâd steeled your heart, then maybe you wouldnât have felt like vomiting in front of a crowd of innocent bystanders the very next day.
xxx
Monday comes and your shower still isnât fixed. Jimin makes the benevolent gesture of allowing you to use his shower in the meantime, though youâll only partake in his offer as minimally as possible. He does mention that heâll need at least an hourâs notice, warning you about âaccidental voyeurism.â You shudder to think of what sort of horror you might find if you did visit him without warning, and you pray for the continued well-being of your retinas.
On your way to work, youâre too busy watching cute videos of animals to notice the unusual flock of people idling close to your workplace. When you get closer, however, the growing commotion is enough to rip your gaze away from your phone, and the sight of the large crowd makes you stop in your tracks.Â
It is 4 pm and the usual line of waiting patrons should not start piling up for another three hours, so this confuses you more than anything. You shuffle closer, squinting at the crowd until you notice that they arenât lined up at all; instead, they have congregated into a large circle, but you are too far to see what they are surrounding.Â
An accident? You worry, wondering if something terrible happened. You tiptoe above the heads of people, subtly moving forward to take a better look. Curse you and your curiosity. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself to see something grotesque or astonishing, but insteadâŠ
Itâs worse.
Inching closer, you can begin to hear a soft thrumming of a guitar and a gentle singing voice that causes alarm bells to ring in your ears. The warm melody digs up old memories of a time long past: of ballads sung outside your childhood bedroom window, of promises whispered under Spiderman sheets, of tender caresses tucking stray hairs behind your ears⊠They flood your senses, but all you can feel is dread.
It canât be who you think it is. You accidentally elbow a guy on your way to get closer, unsteadying his grip on his phone.Â
âHey, watch it! Iâm filming a totally not-staged TikTok over here!â He yells, but you can hardly pay attention to him when you feel unnaturally drawn to come closer, still.Â
Youâre nearly at the front, with just a couple of teenagers standing between you and the (not-so) mysterious street performer. But the distance is enough, and your breath catches. You can see himâ
Black hair partially hidden under a bucket hat. Boots bigger than Pangaea and a pair of eyes equally as large. Dark ink snaking down his arms, peeking out from under oversized sleeves. Piercings that could rival Park Jimin on a good day. He isnât facing you, but you can still see his big doe eyes, gentle sloping nose, and pretty lips stretched into a handsome smile.
Your heart is thundering in your chest. This canât be happening, you panic. After two whole years of rebuilding and reshaping yourself, relearning how to be yourself and not⊠not just his girlfriend.
Jeon Jungkook stands before you, busking in front of your workplace of all locations. The universe could not have been any crueler to you.
Youâyou had been known as nothing more than Jeon Jungkookâs high school sweetheart. Buried memories of snide comments from jealous teen girls fill your mind, reminding you of the time when you were coined a simple side piece to the main attraction. Decor, as they would call you. Nothing more than a girl who happened to snag Jungkook before people realized he was going to turn⊠hot. A hot guy who could sing. An inevitable chic magnet, as they would call him.Â
And now, years later after much therapy and soul searching, your worst nightmare is standing in front of you in the flesh. This is what you will eventually dub the incident.Â
At that moment, however, there is little to no time to dwell on naming this ongoing core memory. All you can feel is the adrenaline pumping through your veins, as well as the nausea rising up your throat. You stumble backward, blatantly shoving onlookers away as you struggle to find some air to breathe. In hindsight, you probably should have backed away as subtly as possible, but you hope that your dyed hair might be different enough that Jungkook wouldnât know it was you if he had glanced your way.Â
Even when you stagger towards your work establishment, the walls cannot perfectly muffle his soothing singing. You canât make out the lyrics to his song too well, but his unmistakable voice is hard to ignore. Working as a hostess, your station is also coincidentally as close to the door as possible for maximum torture.Â
This canât get any worse, you think as your mind races with conflicting emotions. You thought you had moved on, thought you were past the pain and the memories, but seeing Jungkook again, unexpectedly, stirs up a storm of feelings you thought were buried deep. Anger, hurt, betrayalâall rush to the surface, threatening to overwhelm you.
But there is no time to unpack all that baggage right now. Time will continue to march on, and your job is still on the line. How can you have the time to have a mental breakdown when you were still living paycheck to paycheck?
But even as you try to push Jungkook out of your mind, his voice echoes in your ears, his image burned into your memory. It's as if the universe is laughing at your misery, reminding you that despite all your supposed growth, you are still just you.Â
Painfully and pathetically you.
As you struggle to pull yourself together, a familiarly loud voice rings outside the edge of your consciousness. âHey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you hereâŠâ Jimin greets you, his usual jovial demeanor halting midway when he sees your panicked expression. He clears his throat, perplexed. âUmm⊠Are you alright there, girl? Youâre looking a little pale.â
You do not even have the mental capacity to wonder why Park Jimin was miraculously early to his shift, nor why he seems genuinely worried for you. Rather, all you can do is wave him off and use what little time you have before the restaurant opens to steel yourself for hours of melodious torture.Â
âIâm fine, Park. You should get to work,â you grit out, wiping your sweaty palms on your uniform. Normally, Jimin would have teased you about the obvious wrinkles on your skirt.Â
âYouâre not the boss of me,â Jimin huffs, always the contrarian. He thinks better of it, however, and softens his tone. âAre you feeling sick or something? You look like you just saw a ghost.â
You freeze, perhaps giving yourself away a little. âIâm fine,â you repeat.Â
âYou know, if you refuse to elaborate, Iâm going to have to retract your shower privileges,â Jimin taunts with a smirk.Â
You feel a migraine growing by your temple, making you wince. God, why must men be the source of all your problems?
âIâm just⊠a little annoyed by the busker outside the restaurant,â you eventually admit, trying to be vague. Unfortunately for you, Jimin hates beating around the bush and would never take your crap if he knows something is up.
Unable to withstand the weight of his unimpressed stare, you clarify, âHe was someone I used to know, thatâs all.â You arenât going to be any more specific than that, though you imagine Jimin gets the picture. You zip your lips, hoping to whoever is causing you pain that Jimin would somehow let the matter drop and leave you to your misery.
You brace yourself for his onslaught of questioning to come, and⊠it doesnât happen. Instead, when you glance at Jimin, he is mysteriously stone faced. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a few minutes, but he doesnât show any signs of wanting to tease or ridicule you. He simply watches you with a pensive expression. You can barely stop yourself from staring back at him, slack-jawed at his silence.Â
Of course, you arenât just going to question your luck, or what little you have at least. So, you stay silent back and fidget uncomfortably.
Finally, Jimin seems to snap out of his strange reverie. He fixes you with a bizarrely sympathetic grin, patting you affectionately on the back. âI see⊠Well, if you ever need a drink tonight, head over to the bar for a little sip. I got you covered,â is all he says in response before sashaying away.Â
That was so fucking weird. You want to chase after him, perhaps beat the truth out of him. Jimin is nothing but a scheming dick, and you arenât about to let him roam free with such sensitive information about yourself. Just as youâre about to stomp his ass (perhaps to relieve some of the building tension from your weary soul), your manager pops his head from his office door.Â
âY/N! Make sure youâre logged into the booking system. Thereâs going to be a party of 20 coming in about an hour,â he reminds you, shooting you an apologetic look. You nod back with a sigh, swiping the booking tablet from the hostess desk and scrolling through the logs. Sure enough, it is going to be a busy night despite being a Monday evening. Perhaps a little busier than usual, in fact.
Whatever. You will use whatever distraction you can get, and perhaps the approaching noise from the restaurant patrons will be enough to drown out the sound of his voice.Â
You arenât religious by any means, but you pray to whatever higher power exists that Jeon Jungkook doesnât somehow decide to enter the restaurant. Stay outside, you plead. Outside the restaurant and your life, if possible.
Throughout the evening, you do your best to push aside the memories that threaten to resurface. You greet customers with a smile, lead them to their tables, and ensure their dining experience is pleasant despite the anxiety poisoning your insides. It's a routine you've perfected over time, a shield against the chaos of your emotions.
As the night wears on, you can feel Jimin's eyes on you from across the restaurant. You sneak glances back at him, and you blanch at his pitying gaze. If the restaurant had been slightly less crowded, you would have flipped him off.Â
Heâs probably enjoying my suffering, you think darkly. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you straighten up and do your best to appear more unaffected. Just as you do so, you can hear Jungkook perfectly hitting a soulful high note.Â
âIâm so sorry for thinking I was strong,â you whisper to the universe. âForgive me for my insolence.â You clench your fist in anguish, ignoring the confused looks from the customers in front of you.Â
By the time your shift comes to a close, you are completely and utterly drained. You feel like a snail that has been continuously salted over the past eight hours, and you cannot help but cheer in relief when the clock finally strikes two in the morning. You have to wait for the last few diners to make their leave, but otherwise you are ready to let your bed swallow you whole.Â
You stand by your hostess desk, leaning your head against it with a defeated sigh. Jungkookâs voice had died down only a few minutes ago, and you hope that by this point he has mercifully left the premises. You want to take a peek to make sure, but just as youâre about to make your way to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder stop you in your tracks.
ââSup, bitch.â Jimin still has that weird, pitying gaze pointed at you, though his words donât match it. âAre you okay to go home alone tonight? I can bring your dumb ass home if you want.â
You shove his hand away, ready to bite his head off when you think better of it. If Jimin drives you home, then that lowers the chances of seeing Jungkook down to pretty much zero.Â
âYou know what? Thanks,â you grouse. Jimin smiles at you winningly, and the image of it brings a shiver down your spine. You hit him, creeped out. âHey. Stop that, will you? Youâre being really weird?â
Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms. âMe? Weird? At least I donât look like a damn firework ready to explode just because my cringelord ex-boyfriend is singing sappy love songs outsideââ
âShut the fuck up,â you seethe, stomping on his foot. He yelps in pain and slaps your shoulder in retaliation.Â
âOuch! Watch your ogre feet! My shoes are worth twice your monthly rent Iâll have you know,â he bristles. He breathes deeply, likely finding his inner calm (which you doubt exists). âBut because Iâm so nice, Iâll ignore your earlier transgression and blame it on your underdeveloped amygdala.â
You donât know whatâs more surprising: the fact that Jimin knew what an amygdala was or that he was forgiving you in the first place. âWhatever. Letâs finish closing up and then head out. Iâm exhausted.â
You make quick work of your task and when youâre ready to head out, Jimin is already waiting by the backdoor. Heâs twirling his car keys with a finger and gestures for you to follow him. As you make your way to his car in the back parking lot, you catch sight of a lone figure standing next to a beat-up pickup truck. Heâs leaning against it, his hands busy tuning a battered guitar.
Your breath hitches, and you immediately feel nauseous. Of course the incident has yet to end. The night is young, after all.
Jimin accidentally slams the backdoor closed, and the noise wrenches Jungkookâs attention away from his ministrations. Immediately, his eyes lock with Jimin before finally turning to you.Â
Your heart skips a beat as he gazes at you, your mind racing with a hurricane of emotions. You hadnât expected to see him again so soon, especially not after the tumultuous encounter earlier in the day. What did you say earlier? That âthe chances of seeing Jungkook was down to pretty much zeroâ?Â
The chances of seeing Jungkook is low, but never zero, your mind unhelpfully supplies.
There is a long period of awkward silence. Jungkook has his mouth slightly agape, his hand subconsciously lowering his guitar to rest against his truck. To your left, Jiminâs breathing quickens slightly. You, on the other hand, are trying your best not to projectile vomit in this damned parking lot.Â
Jungkook is the one who decides to break the delicate silence. âIs that youâŠ?â he calls out hesitantly.Â
Donât say my name donât say my name donât say my name donât say my name donât say myâ
âY/N,â Jimin interjects. His gaze is steel cold, uncharacteristic of the carefree boy. He slings an arm around your shoulders, gently nudging you towards his car. With your view still fixed on Jungkook, you miss the way Jimin shoots the other boy with a playful smirk. âCâmon, babe. Letâs go home.â
His words startle both you and Jungkook. âWhaâ? Jimin?â you splutter, flushing at his flirtatious undertone. You want to curse him out for his strange behavior, but all the shock has left you mute.Â
Jimin all but shoves you into the passenger seat. But just as heâs about to slam the car door, you hear Jungkook call out your name. Itâs fleeting and quiet, but you heard him crystal clear.
It breaks your spirit to hear him say your name. For a moment, you feel as though you are floating.
When was the last time he called your name? And so softly, too? If you could replay that moment over and over, would you be able to catch some signs of tenderness in his voice? When you close your eyes later that night, would your dreams show you that he had been gazing at you with yearning? Was any of it true?
As Jimin starts the car and pulls away from the curb, you steal one last glance out the window, only to find Jungkook staring at you with an arm outstretched. You continue to watch him until his figure disappears into the night.Â
You are quietly immersed in your own thoughts, the whirlwind of emotions intensifying your persistent migraine. Unaccustomed to silence, Jimin decides to give his unsolicited two cents, as per usual.
âGeez. Didnât know you were into the whole starving artist type. If Iâd known, then maybe Iâd stop trying to brag about my fortune to you,â Jimin scoffs. âIf loser buskers like him impress you, then maybe I shouldââ
âWould you shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life!â You explode, whirling to face him with a glare. Jimin has the audacity to flinch, but he doesnât take his eyes off the road.Â
âWhat the fuck? Why the hell are you mad at me?âÂ
âWhat the hell was that back there? âCâmon babe.ââ You mimic his voice with a sneer. âWhy on earth would you do that? Now he thinks that weâŠâ
âWhy do you care what he thinks? Heâs your ex, remember?â Jimin cuts you off, but you canât even refute him. He continues, âFigured as much. And judging by how spooked youâve looked all day, I have to assume that he was an asshole, right? Why else would you accept my offer for a ride home if you really wanted to avoid seeing him?â
You shrink under his accurate assumptions. Damn, were you really that easy to read? âI⊠I mean, yeah butâŠâ You clear your throat, still feeling wronged by him. âYou didnât have to act like a weird prick in front of him!â
Without warning, the floodgates burst forth. You begin to ramble, the thoughts that have been weighing you down pouring out of you in waves. âJungkook was my ex, yeah. But he wasnât an asshole. On the contrary, he was really sweet. The nicest guy in my school, at least. Wouldnât hurt a fly, that sort of person. I dated him all throughout high school and he was a great partner.â
Jimin hums skeptically. âThen why the messy break-up?â
âIt wasnât messy!â You retort defensively.Â
âCouldâve fooled me!â Jimin snorts. âI also frequently act like a trembling kitten when I see my exes,â he says sarcastically.Â
You ignore him. âThe reason we broke it off was because he wanted to pursue his dreams to become a singer after high school and I wanted to do other things. It was a mutual break-up! Honestly, Iâm glad that we did. Too many girls wanted him and all the unwanted attention was getting on my nerves. I was glad to find a reason to end it all,â you explain, hoping you didnât sound as shaky as you felt. What you said was mostly true, though you left out the important bits to yourself. Mostly to save some of your dignity intact. (Truthfully, you just didnât want to admit things you werenât ready to face.)
âThen if youâre so glad, why do you look like you wanted to shit yourself? It ainât adding up,â Jimin fires back.
âItâs justââ you stammer, trying to find a reason why you were so bent out of shape after seeing him. âI-I was caught off guard, I guess. I knew he was pursuing his dreams to sing and all, so I expected him to leave the country. I wasnât expecting to see him outside where I work, of all places,â you mutter lamely. You have your head bowed, biting your lips from the nerves. Again, you werenât totally lying.Â
Jimin is silent for a moment, contemplating your admission. When he looks so calm like this, itâs hard to get a read on what heâs thinking. As Jimin speeds down the highway, the street lights illuminate his face in a strange way, and for once, he looks like a stranger. His steely expression makes you nervous, for some reason.Â
Eventually, he asks you a question you would never have expected. âAnd he just let you go?â
You pause. âWhat do you mean?â
âI meanâŠâ Jimin huffs, irritated. âHe just up and left without a fight? If I were him, I would haveâŠâ he trails off, his jaw clenching.Â
You donât know where this Jimin came from. Under the moonlight, Jimin looks livid, but that canât be right. Jimin, mad for you? Sure, youâve seen his anger directed towards you, but this? Everythingâs gotten so complicated, and you are just about ready to succumb to sleep and hope to wake from this nightmare.
The rest of the drive to your house is silent, save for the sounds coming from passing cars. Jimin pulls up to your apartment complex, his mysterious anger finally subsiding.Â
Just as youâre about to reach for the car door handle, Jimin places a hand on your shoulder. âListen, Y/N. Iâll talk to management tomorrow morning. I know the manager well enough that I can probably convince him to do something about that ex of yours. Heâs busking on private property, so it should be easy to get rid of him,â Jimin says, tone serious. He swallows, and for a moment you think he looks a little nervous. âIf thatâs what you want, I guess.â
His kindness scares you. You want to tease him, ask him where Mr. Bitchy and his $2000 Chelsea boots had gone. Anything to make this air of severe sincerity to abate. This new Jimin feels suffocating. But instead, you nod your head stiffly.Â
Jimin makes a pained expression for a moment, but itâs quickly replaced by his usual playful smirk. He slaps you upside the head, laughing heartily at your stunned face.Â
âGet some rest, babe. Iâll see you tomorrow evening,â he chuckles, reaching over to open the door for you. You scramble out into the cold city air, taking one last look back at him through his window.
He rolls it down, leaning forward to flash a toothy grin at you. âHey, stop with all the angst, pookie. Wouldnât want my favorite toy to get sick from overthinking. Who else would I bother at work if not you?â
You snort, both endeared and irritated in equal measure. Heâs right. Everything was going back to normal tomorrow, youâre sure of it. You flip him off with a cheeky grin before making your way to your apartment.
Everything is going to be okay. Jimin says heâll do something about it, and for whatever reason, you feel like you can trust him on this. Surely good fortune was soon to be upon you.Â
xxx
Jimin had texted you while you were still sleeping:
Spoke to Manager Jeong about your little problem. He said heâll deal with him.
You breathe a sigh of relief, your body feeling significantly lighter. Your sleep last night had been tumultuous and restless. You feel more tired than you did when you went to bed, but all your weariness fades once you read Jiminâs text.Â
Once you make it to work, you find that management has gotten rid of Jungkook somehow. Added with the fact that your landlord has promised to look into repairing your shower (no guarantees, but you want to stay optimistic), today has been significantly better compared to yesterday. You even catch yourself humming as you set up your workstation, a small smile gracing your lips.
Jimin has a later shift this evening, and you find that you are somewhat disappointed for once. Your overwhelming gratitude is surely the only reason, otherwise you would never admit to wanting to see him at any given time.Â
You are in the midst of texting Jimin about all the good news when your manager passes by your desk. You are quick to pocket your phone away from his prying eyes, ready to defend that you arenât slacking off⊠but his demeanor does not reveal any ire. In fact, he looks rather pleased for once.
âGood afternoon, Mr. Jeong. Whatâs up?â you ask, suspicious. You instinctively fold your hands behind your back; it is a subconscious effort on your part to keep your distance from him. Something about your manager always gives you a bad feeling when he looks a little too happy.Â
He grins widely. âEverything is going splendidly, Ms. Y/N. In fact, I think today might just be our lucky day!â
Never during your time working here has his and your luck ever coincided. âOur lucky day?â you echo.
âWhy, yes! I spoke with your lovely friend and coworker Jimin this morning,â he starts, and immediately your alarm bells ring. You donât even bother correcting him about the âfriendâ part like you normally would. He continues, âHe gave me a brilliant idea about the busker who had been performing in front of the restaurant the past two days.â
You nod slowly, not quite understanding. âYes⊠The busker has been quite⊠the spectacle,â you say carefully. Somehow, you know calling Jungkook a ânuisanceâ would have been the wrong choice in this instance.
Manager Jeong beams. âExactly! You must have noticed the amount of people we served yesterday despite being a Monday. Additionally, almost all of those new customers requested outdoor seating no less!â
You feel the world tilt on its axis. What is he on abouâ?
âWhat are you talking about?â you exhale.
âDonât you think it would be even better for business if we got that busker to perform inside the restaurant? Why, itâs a brilliant idea and I donât know why I didnât think of it first! Our live band has always been missing something special, and perhaps a vocal accompaniment is the exact answer to our problem! Think about it, the atmosphere would beâŠâ
Manager Jeong continues to prattle animatedly about his plans to your unhearing ears. There must be static or cotton plugging your head because you cannot possibly understand anything he is saying. Jungkook? Inside? Performing at your restaurant? But Jimin said he had spoken to the manager about getting Jungkook away from you! None of this makes sense.Â
âThat makes no sense,â you verbalize, unknowingly cutting Manager Jeong from his monologue. He halts in surprise, as if now just realizing you were standing there (much less capable of interrupting or disagreeing with him). When he snaps out of it, you sense that familiarly sinister aura emerging from him in waves. You belatedly realize he must have mistaken your outburst as antagonistic.
âWell, Ms. Y/N. Whether it makes sense or not, we have hired Mr. Jeon to perform live at the bar stage for the next four weeknights. If, for some unknowable reason, I am incorrect,â he pauses to emphasize his words, âthen his services will be promptly terminated. However, judging by his popularity from simply standing out in the cold and singing silly love songs, I am sure that worry is unwarranted.â
Behind you, the telltale sound of the main door swinging open catches you even more off guard. You do not even have the chance to turn to face the newcomer, only managing to register the gust of cold wind that accompanies their entry.
And so, you hear him before you see him.Â
âHello?â Jeon Jungkook greets quietly.
Even without turning, you can imagine how he looks, how he stands, how he feels, how he tastesâ
Manager Jeong claps his hands gleefully. âSplendid timing! Speak of the devilâŠâ The older man nearly skips towards Jungkook like a youthful school girl, accompanied by his uncharacteristic squeals of excitement.Â
You can feel his gaze on you, almost tangibly. With nothing but your shreds of dignity left intact, you force yourself to face him.Â
Heâs still so tall, is all your mind can helpfully supply as you stand feet away from your high school sweetheart for the first time in two years. Heâs still wearing the same bucket hat from the night before, semi-shielding him from view. Despite that, you catch a small flash of white graze his bottom lip as he chews the soft flesh nervously.
âHi, Y/N.â He addresses you directly, completely overlooking your manager without a single glance. Despite his hat, he still has his eyes lasered on you, as if not quite believing you were there. You hate how his attention makes you shiver all the same.Â
Even though he ignored your manager (which would have been a major dispute had you done the same), Jungkook still receives a friendly handshake in return. âMr. Jeon! Iâm surprised you know Ms. Y/N, though Iâm sure you must have spoken with her when she was escorting guests to the outdoor seating the other day.â
You had actually gotten your co-hostess to seat all the outdoor seatings yesterday, but you werenât going to mention that.
Manager Jeong claps him on the back, inadvertently causing Jungkook to stumble forward closer to you. He looks up at you then, eyes bugging out of their sockets like a rabbit caught in a bear trap. You stagger backwards in turn, barely concealing the anxiety on your face. Oh fucking hell.
Your manager is none the wiser, of course. âWell, this makes my job much easier! Since youâre both acquainted, Iâll let Y/N show you the ropes. The band doesnât start their set until later in the evening, but youâre free to take a look at the stage and other parts of our facility in the meantime,â he says, chuffed. Meanwhile, Jungkook looks like heâs been shot by a freeze ray.Â
Then, your manager points a sharper gaze at you. âMs. Y/N, treat our super star well. I know you wonât disappoint me.â
Fucking superstar⊠You can only nod in defeat. âY-Yes, sirâŠâ you whisper, clenching your uniform with your fists. It is the only way to keep them from shaking like a leaf. You watch as his figure disappears behind his office door, leaving you to fend for yourself. Powerless, you train your gaze to the floor, unwilling to meet Jungkookâs eyes.Â
But the nerves are taking control of your body, screaming at you to eject, eject, eject!
âSorry, I have to go to the toilet,â you splutter quickly, almost tripping over yourself on the way to the restroom. You dimly wonder if Jungkook is going to think youâre leaving to throw up, but you canât find any self-respect left to care. All you need is air and space to breatheâpreferably away from him.Â
You slam open the stall, hardly checking to see if anyone else is around before locking the door shut. You sit on the toilet, plant your face between your knees, and scream.Â
Should you go home and use sickness as an excuse? But even if you did, you still had shifts every weeknight. You would have to see him eventually. You can pray all you want that Jungkook will be fired by the end of the week, but even your delusional mind can never fathom the idea that anyone would willingly want to send Jeon Jungkook away. Plus, you remember that the regular band that plays at the restaurant has been wanting to get a singer to accompany them for ages, and you know just how damn affable he can be. They are going to love him, and you hate him for that.
It is clear to you that there is no other option:
You pull out your phone to quickly open up Indeed on your browser, frantically hunting for any openings that might fit your measly qualifications. However, you have to pause in your search to deliberate. Wouldnât it be better to move out of the country? You had been so naive to think that moving cities was enough distance between you and Jungkookâgoing across the ocean is the obvious answer. Should you start up your Duolingo lessons again and hope that you can somehow survive in a different continent with only a few dollars to your name?Â
You shut your phone in despair. Whether or not your plans of escape are feasible or not, in the short term, you are stuck with having to suck it up and just learn to ignore your ex-boyfriendâs presence. Surely you can force out a fake smile or two, especially with how much practice youâve gotten after working with unbearably entitled customers.Â
Taking a step outside of the restroom stall, you head to the sink to splash some cold on your face. You stare at the mirror, confronted by a girl who looks two seconds away from having a Netflix Original-esque meltdown. You rake your fingers through your hair, doing your best to look like you arenât about to rush into incoming traffic. To no one's surprise, it doesn't work.
âOkay, I got this. Just pretend like heâs just some guy, because at the end of the day, he is just some guy,â you mutter to your reflection. She looks back at you unconvinced. âHe may have broken my heart into little bite size pieces, but who cares! HEâS JUST A GUY!â You repeat the phrase over and over again like a lunatic, in a desperate attempt to cognitively alter your brain chemistry.
At that moment, one of the other stalls in the restroom creaks open, and a girl you recognize who works as one of the dishwashers walks out. You both have a silent eye conversation as she quietly studies your crazed expression and crumpled work uniform.Â
Eventually, she awkwardly clears her throat, pointing to the only sink in the restroom. âUh, sorry to hear about your, uh, guy problem. Could I use the sink please?âÂ
You hastily back away, allowing her to take your spot. You donât even have the energy to apologize for your spectacle, just bowing sheepishly to her before making your way back to the main hall. If she rats you out to the rest of your coworkers, then that gives you another reason to move out of the country. Maybe you should consider a name change while youâre at it.
When you exit the restroom, you half expect Jungkook to be waiting for you by the door, but find that he isnât anywhere nearby. He isnât by your hostess station either, and you thank your lucky stars for once. Even if your manager had asked you to show him around, youâre sure that Jungkook can find his way around just fine. Plus, the stage is at the corner of the restaurant and is sufficiently far enough that you wouldnât have to make eye contact with him if you were careful.Â
You donât know which greater entity has been messing with your sanity these past few days, but you hope that they can show you mercy just onceâa brief reprieve, if anything.Â
You clasp your hands in prayer. Iâll eat more vegetables, Iâll remember to floss, Iâll call my parents from time to time⊠Just please let me survive tonight.Â
âRemember, Y/N⊠Heâs just some guy,â you reiterate through gritted teeth. If a passing coworker happens to overhear your demented chanting, then you pay them no mind.
You walk towards the entrance, flipping the sign to open. You feel like a video game character when you glance at the clock, which signals the start of your shift. You can imagine the red bold text hovering above your head: 8 more hours until freedom.Â
This is just like playing Five Nights at Freddyâs, except youâve only watched the movie and you suspect your life is probably worse than whatever Josh Hutcherson had to survive through.Â
You take a couple heaving breaths to brace yourself for what will be the longest eight hours of your life. Youâll show Jungkook just how well-adjusted and mature youâve become. You are a professional, and not even a boy with angelic vocals will make you crumble. After all, whatâs the worst he can do?Â
xxx
He could, in fact, do a lot worse than you thought.Â
âI have many regrets being born at all,â you mutter bleakly, three hours into your shift.Â
Jungkook had started singing only an hour ago, so you had been filled with false confidence at first when the restaurant was filled with nothing but ambient chatter and soothing jazz music. You felt more and more confident as the minutes ticked by and your anxiety slowly melted away. You even forgot that he was somewhere in the back, likely warming up or whatever it is that singers did before a performance.Â
However, your brief moment of courage shatters almost immediately when Jungkook finally takes the stage.Â
At first, you did your best to tune out his voice, but itâs especially hard when whoever was in charge of the sound system decided to crank his volume to an excruciating level. You wanted desperately to grab some napkins and shove them in your ears, but you suspected that your customers (and manager) would be unappreciative of that gesture. And so there you lay, forced to wallow in Jungkookâs melodious singing like a criminal strapped to an electric chair.
But how much more pleasant an electric chair would be! Why on earth was Jungkook so adamant to sing sad love songs the entire time? Why couldnât he be like his other singing contemporaries, who loved to write songs about getting bitches and making money? At the very least, even if he wasnât quite a platinum selling artist just yet, surely he was constantly sharing beds with anyone he pleases? Couldnât he sing about that?!
(In the back of your mind, you wonder if it would be less painful to learn that Jungkook has slept with multiple people⊠Because then, it would mean that he had moved on while you stood alone on your island, stranded and yearning.)
You didnât want to think too deeply about his lyrics. However, you're only human. So when your mind barrier failed and you caught snippets of his singing, you noticed a pattern. There was always a girl in his songs. She was omnipresent, and Jungkook was always pleading for her. Begging and aching and wanting. But most all⊠he was always repenting. In every song, he always whispered a pious apology.Â
You feared what would happen if you turned around in those moments of weakness. You were terrified of admitting something, of letting words spill that had been trapped in your throat for the better part of two years.Â
Lucky for you, salvation comes in the form of one Park Jimin. Though, can you even count him as your savior when he had also inadvertently caused your demise?
Jimin doesnât even have a shift today, so youâre more than surprised when his bright blonde head stumbles through the restaurant doors. His expensive coat is askew and his signature designer shades are nowhere to be found. He is panic incarnateâan expression you have never seen on his face before.
âHoly fuck,â he greets, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. His profanity startles the elderly couple waiting to be seated, their glares menacingly sharp. To his credit, Jimin doesnât even seem phased.
In lieu of an answer, you gesture vaguely behind you. You can imagine how dejected you must look. âHoly fuck indeed,â you sigh.
It takes a moment for Jimin to regain his bearings. He straightens up and pats down his coat, but his hair is still tousled by the wind. If not for the fact that he has a car, you might have thought he had run all the way here.Â
âI am so sorry. I didnât know this was going to happen,â he starts, genuinely remorseful. âI texted Manager Jeong this morning and he said heâd get your ex to leave, but I didnât think heâd offer the damn bastard a job!â
âMind your language, Park. Iâm still at work,â you scold. You try your best to ignore the scrutinizing gaze of the elderly couple. You lower your voice. âAnd donât apologize. I know youâre an asshole, but I doubt youâd actually prey on my downfall like this. I know youâre not into public humiliation.â
Jimin brightens slightly at your joke, but he still looks like a guilty puppy who'd been caught shitting on the carpet. âYeah, well. I happen to enjoy tormenting you and I wonât let some upstart Charlie Puth wannabe ruin your life. Thatâs my job.â
You smile wryly at him. âWell, thatâs too bad. Jungkookâs been singing for a few hours now and Iâm pretty sure Manager Jeong is going to keep him long-term. He might have broken my heart, but damn does he have vocals. I'm sure you'll have plenty competition when it comes to 'who can make Y/N's life feel like hell.'â
Jimin doesn't smile back, but instead studies your face for a moment. Then:
âDo you think if I offer to suck Manager Jeong off, heâll fire him?â
âWhat the fuck?â You nearly yell out in surprise, your jaw dropping to the floor. Judging by his serious scowl, you know he's actually considering it. By now, the elderly couple waiting to be seated have left the premises.
Jimin continues, unperturbed. âI know he secretly wants me, based on how his wife seems to have a personal vendetta against me. He definitely wants a taste of my busâ.â
âStop, I get it!â You wave your hands to make him shut up, heat rising up your cheeks. âNever say that string of words to me ever again. You have just inflicted ten years of suffering onto my poor brain.â
âHey, Iâm just offering solutions here!â Jimin pouts.Â
You stare at him, unimpressed. âSave it. You tried solving my problems already, so letâs just accept the fact that thereâs nothing else for me to do but to suck it up. Itâs time for me to put on my big girl pants for a change.â
âI mean, I could do all the sucking instead, but youâre being a little bitch about it,â Jimin mumbles. Heâs lucky you didnât hear him this time, lest you give him something to really whine about.
âAnyway, I guess this is my life now. Nothing to do except hope that he never tries to interact with me or I can find another job,â you shrug.Â
Over your shoulder, Jimin fixes Jungkook with an icy glare that is cold enough to give you the shivers. For the first time that entire night, you hazard a glance back at the stage, finding that Jungkook is already looking back at you.
You whip your head back forward, perspiration forming down your back. For fuckâs sake, this guy.
âWell, let me know if he tries anything. Iâll beat that little freak into the floor if he tries so much as breathing the same air as you.â Jimin huffs, puffing up his chest with false bravado. You canât help but laugh at his empty threat, knowing that Jungkook could probably bench press Jimin without breaking a sweat. Jimin's muscles are only for aesthetics, after all.
âDonât worry, he hasnât actually spoken to me actually. He can keep singing his sad little love songs, I really donât mind,â you say, like a liar. Jimin snorts, wholly unconvinced.
âWell, if you need me, Iâm heading to the bar to grab a drink so I can stare at your ex uncomfortably until he leaves. See you!â Jimin bids you farewell with a cheery grin as he skips a little too happily inside the restaurant.
Why'd you have to befriend the largest lunatic in the city? You massage your forehead with a groan, willing away your growing headache.Â
The rest of the night trickles away like molasses. Jungkook continues to sing his heart out, save for an hour intermission where he presumably takes a short break. In his absence, you hear Jimin guffaw loudly, his laughter too sharp to be considered happy. You faintly hear Jungkook shy stutters in response, and you momentarily consider running in to interrupt.
Why? Did you want to save Jungkook from Jiminâs unnecessary harassment? Itâs not like Jimin is doing it out nowhere, he was just trying to be⊠a good friend?
You pause to ponder. As much as you hate to admit it, you know why you want to help Jungkook. But Jimin on the other hand? Why did he want to help you? Questions begin flowing through your head like a whirlwind, and your nausea increases. God, when was your next therapy appointment again?
You save those questions for another day. As you look at your watch, there are only thirty minutes left until two in the morning. You tap your foot impatiently, smiling curtly at departing customers as the restaurant slowly emptied. As they left, you overhear some of your regulars giggling amongst themselves, whispering about the cute new singer and his charming demeanor.Â
The last nail on your coffin has been hammered. Yeah, Jungkook isnât going anywhere anytime soon.Â
With the restaurant closing soon, it sounds like Jungkook is ready to end his set as well.Â
Throughout the night, Jungkook rarely made a point to speak. The only time he didnât sing was when he quietly introduced the title of his next song and the band swiftly began the first opening notes. For his last song, however, Jungkook decided to give a little more backstory for his final song.Â
âHello, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to me for the night,â Jungkook says with a soft voice, his tone awfully shy despite his powerful belting throughout the evening. The few customers left give him a warm round of applause, and you hear the familiar sound of his timid giggles spill from the restaurant speakers.Â
âThis will be my final song for the night. Most of the songs I sang today were covers, but this one is an original. IâŠâ He hesitates for a moment, and something pulls you to turn despite the alarm bells ringing in your ears. You face him, and just like earlier in the evening, he is already looking back at you.
This time, you donât look away; he does. His eyes flit to the ceiling, and he licks his lips from nerves. âI⊠I wrote this song a long while ago. Iâve never sang it in public before and I never thought it would ever see the light of day. Until, wellâŠâ
He stops again. This time, he gestures to the guitarist in the band, silently asking to borrow it. With a guitar in hand, he smiles a little more confidently at the small crowd of people. He begins strumming the first few notes, and your heart stops. âI hope everyone had a pleasant evening. Get home safe and have a great rest of your week. My name is Jungkook, and this last song is calledâŠâ
Before he can sing the first line of his song, you make a break for it.
You slam the restaurant doors open, and the stinging cold air immediately pierces their fangs into your skin. Your coat is still inside, but you canât bring yourself to reenter. You take a long breath, the chill barely registering in your mind with how loudly your heart is pounding in your ears.
Hearing the opening to that song was enough to bring you back in time, three years ago:
You are in his childhood bedroom, his walls littered with concert posters and his floor a mess with unfolded laundry and guitar picks. The afternoon sun is streaming through his windows, bathing him in gold. You have an exam the next day and he has cram school to go to, but youâve both chucked your books somewhere on his desk, left forgotten.Â
He has his eyes closed, concentrated. Youâre both on his small twin bed, squished together side by side and thighs touching. You have your head on his shoulder and he has his hands on his guitar. He strums a few chords experimentally and sings a melody that only the two of you know.
(Not anymore.)
âAre you writing a new song?â you ask, voice a little scratchy. Neither of you had spoken for the past few hours, just basking in the setting sun and Jungkookâs indistinct strumming. But now, his chords sound more sure, more certain of something.
âYeah, I just thought of it,â he hums. He opens his eyes a smidge, a smitten smile on his lips. You mirror him.Â
âWhatâs it about this time?â
His brows furrow. âIâve been trying to write about other stuff, you know? Namjoon-hyung tells me itâs important that songs have meaning and impact.â He pauses in his strumming, looking a little conflicted. âAnd I get what he means. Art is all about saying something, but⊠I canât help that thereâs only one thing I ever want to talk about. Is that so wrong?â
You chuckle, understanding what he means. You nudge your head against his cheek, grinning from ear to ear. The fluttering in your chest has become routine to you at this point, but he somehow always knows how to increase it tenfold. âGod, youâre such a sweet talker. Really, Koo. Thereâs no need to serenade with love songsâIâm already yours.â
He looks back at you, brimming with tender affection. âI know,â he responds. Then, he takes a pen from his bedside table, and begins writing.
During those years of dating him, you always thought that If he was a waterfall, then you were a teaspoon. You desperately tried to be enough for him, but youâre barely able to fathom the depth of his devotion. Everything about him was excessive, and you could seldom understand how he managed to contain himself. He was born to share himself, to tear bits of his soul so that the world may understand him, love him. His songs were a testament that he was trying to do that, and you always felt so lucky to be able to receive him, wholly and fully.
How cruel was it that Jungkook uses that same song to rip open the barely healed scab on your heart, leaving you bare and stinging and raw all over again.
You have no idea how long you've stood there in the cold. It must have been barely a few minutes when Jimin finds his way to you. He wordlessly shrugs his coat off and places it on your shoulders, but you make no move to acknowledge him.Â
You hope your silence is enough for Jimin to infer that you are not in a conversational mood, but heâs nothing if not impatient. He forcibly pulls you to face him, his hands warm even through your clothing.
âHey, you good? Did something happen?â He asks with barely concealed irritation, but itâs not directed at you. Still, you flinch at his scathing tone, shrinking in on yourself. In your daze, you vaguely notice his resemblance to an angry baby chick.Â
âItâs nothing. Go back inside, Iâll be right there,â you mumble lamely, weakly pushing him back towards the restaurant. Jimin does not budge, instead leveling you with a hard stare. This time, youâre sure his irritation is for you.
âYou idiot, you literally ran out like someone was out to get you. Of course itâs not nothing,â he grouses.Â
You sigh tiredly, shaking your head at him. âWe can talk later. Itâs almost closing time and I just want to go home and sleep.â
Before Jimin can argue further, the door to the restaurant opens once more, but it isnât a leaving customer.Â
âWhat the fuck? What are you doing out here?â Jimin all but shouts at Jungkook. He holds up an accusatory finger at him and uses his other hand to nudge you behind him as if to shield you.Â
Jungkook winces, instinctively stepping back. Despite being a few inches taller than Jimin, Jungkookâs timidness makes him look smaller. âI⊠I was just worried about herââ
âDonât you have a song to finish in there? Talk about professional,â Jimin spits out. Jimin maneuvers you so that Jungkook canât see you, but you manage to catch sight of how his gaze follows you unfailingly.
âI finished up my set. Itâs closing time.â Jungkook responds coolly. Heâs still a little quiet, but you can sense some of his natural composure rising to the surface. When he needs to be, Jungkook has been known to stand his groundâusually when it comes to matters involving you.
At this time of the night and after hours of mental torture, the last thing you need is to watch your two worst nightmares duke it out in front of your work establishment. You are beyond exhausted, and you hardly have the fortitude to withstand another minute of their voices ringing in your ears.Â
Your eyes well up with tears of frustration, causing the two boys to freeze up in panic. You donât give them the chance to fuss over you; instead, you haphazardly wipe your cheeks before roughly pushing them back towards the restaurant.Â
âGet back to work, you idiots.â Your voice sounds warbled even to your own ears, but you push past your overwhelming emotions in favor of getting back inside to close up. Hell, you might even call in sick tomorrow, just so you can cry pathetically into your bowl of cereal in solitude.
âIâm not even on the clock today!â Jimin complains faintly, but you only push him harder.Â
When you all reenter, you walk back to your desk and pointedly ignore the two of them until they awkwardly float away from your orbit. Despite the distance they give you, their gazes are still fixed plainly on you and they feel like knives digging into your back.Â
Eventually, all the final customers of the day take their leave, and your remaining coworkers start dimming the lights and bidding their goodbyes. From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook bowing respectfully to the band, who were giving him friendly pats on the back for a job well done. Jimin walks toward you, his car keys dangling from his left pinky.Â
âNo thanks. Iâll take the bus home today,â you declare before he can offer a ride. Jimin opens his mouth like a goldfish, flapping his lips dumbly as he stares at you in shock. You have no idea why heâs so surprised, given how youâve been making it obvious that you need some space.
He looks like he wants to argue again, but thinks better of it. A singular moment of restraint from Park Jimin, which is an act you once thought impossible. Maybe he does care about you more than you thought.Â
He stiffly nods at you, shoving his hands and keys into his pockets. He still has a frown on his face when he tells you to text him when you get home. You flip him off with a shaky smirk in response, a feeble attempt to bring some levity back to your now tense relationship. It works a little, and Jimin brightens up significantly. How simple-minded of him.
With a flippant wave, you leave work and head towards your bus stop. At this hour of the night, the streets are mostly dim, save for some street lamps and bars that stay open longer than your restaurant. There are always some people milling about, enough that you never feel too on edge about how late it is. Still, your bus stop is often empty, leaving you to mull over your thoughts in peace.
You are in the midst of jamming your earbuds into your ear when a presence makes itself known beside you.
Is it possible to go through the five stages of grief in under a second? You suppose not, but itâs hard to tell what sort of emotions swim through you when you come face to face with Jeon Jungkook again.
âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me,â you mutter under your breath. You pause the song playing on your phone to glare at him with as much venom as you can muster.Â
Jungkook holds up his hands in surrender, doe eyes wide like prey. âI-Iâm heading home too! Iâm not following you, I swear!â
You groan internally. Figures that you and Jungkook take the same bus home. But hold onâ âDonât you have a car? I remember you were parked near the restaurant the other night,â you note, squinting at him.
Jungkook looks sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck. âOh, yeah. That car was my hyungâs. He lets me borrow it sometimes, but he needed it tonight.â
âSureâŠâ You level him with a skeptical frown. You remember his hyung, but donât recall him ever owning a car. You arenât even sure that his Namjoon-hyung is allowed by the country to drive a car, much less own one.Â
He could be lying, but you donât want to give him an excuse to continue any conversation. So, you busy yourself with your phone and keep your head bowed away from him.
When the bus arrives, Jungkook makes it a point to sit a few rows behind you. Thankfully, he has a better understanding of social cues than a certain Park that you know. He leaves you alone, but your entire body still feels like a rope pulled taut. You have to convince yourself not to look behind you, your morbid curiosity scratching your insides raw.
You are in the home stretch now, and itâll only be a few more minutes before you get to your stop and make your way to your safe haven. Hell resumes the next day and the next, but at the very least youâll have your home to yourself. No one could take that away from you.
Again, this is where you learn that tempting fate is never a good idea.
When you exit the bus at your stop, you can hear his footsteps following you. Itâs hard not to notice, especially when his large and distracting boots make such a distinct racket that makes him so Jungkook.Â
You hasten your pace towards your apartment complex, your shoulders hunched and hands shoved into your coat pockets in an attempt to hinder the bile rising from your stomach. He had promised that he wasnât following you, but that proclamation seems to be standing on feeble legs with how long heâs been on your tail now.
Your street is filled with rows of low-rise apartment buildings, so you hope that if anything happens, you can yell as loud as you can and alert some compassionate neighbor to come to your aid. (Not that you think he would ever physically harm you, but⊠You canât say the same about your mental state.)
Your home is just two buildings away from where you are, but Jungkook still seems determined to follow you to the end. You all but skip the remaining feet to your apartment entrance, your breath coming out in puffs as you finally muster up the courage to face your supposed stalker and give him a piece of your mind.Â
âIf this is some convoluted way for you to find out where I live, then you arenât being very subtle about it,â you say, your chin held up high despite the growing urge to vomit pathetically in front of your ex-boyfriend. You have your hand rested on the doorknob, just a momentâs notice away from bolting into your house if the need for a quick getaway arises.
To your surprise, Jungkook wasnât following you as closely as you expected. He had stopped trailing you about two buildings down, his own hand poised on the door with a look of genuine shock.
You both stand there, staring at each other as mutual understanding dawns on the two of you.Â
Everyday, the universe learns of more creative ways to be cruel.
âOhâŠâ Jungkookâs voice falters. He looks simultaneously frightened and amazed, as if he too finds this entire situation unbelievably harsh. He swallows thickly, looking at you and back to his door in quick succession. âWell⊠This is a strange coincidence,â he murmurs.Â
You want to believe that this was his entire fault, that Jungkook had somehow managed to track you down to haunt you for the rest of your days. You want to believe that heâs a crazed stalker who is willing to find where you work and live so that every hour of your wretched life is filled with nothing but reminders of what-could-have-beens. You just want someone to blame instead of just the cosmosâyou want someone tangible to hate so that your suffering can be given some sort of identity. You want to give your mourning and hurt a name so that you can learn how to heal.
You want to believe all of that, but itâs hard to do so when Jungkook looks so incredibly uncomfortable, as if heâd rather melt into the shadows and never be seen again.Â
In all your memories, you have never seen Jungkook look so small.
You heave a big sigh, your fingers grasping the door knob so tightly that you half-expect it to be dented from the force. You linger for a moment, your mouth opening but nothing spills out.Â
What is there to say? What do you say to an ex-boyfriend that you havenât seen in two years, who is suddenly so deeply entwined in your life once more? Do you tell him goodnight? Tell him to stay away? Tell him to come home with you?
Jungkook looks equally as conflicted. His lips are pursed tight with words left unsaid. You arenât sure whether you want to punch the confession out of his mouth or seal them up forever. It feels like eons before he finally breaks the silence with a mirthless laugh.
âI⊠I just wanted to sayâback at the restaurant. When I sang that last song,â Jungkook begins, and his voice feels loud because of how empty the streets are. For a moment, you are reminded of a cathedral you once visited during a vacation, how sacred silence can be. The world holds its breath, waiting for him to speak.
âI meant it all. Every word. Every lyric. I never stoppedâŠâ
He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. He stares at you helplessly, but you donât know what to say. You donât want to listen any more, but your feet are planted to the ground. Youâre frozen like a deer in headlights, forced to brace against him as he crashes into you.Â
He continues, âAnd when we broke up back then⊠I never wanted that to happen. You broke it off before we could even try somethingâand I hated how I didnât fight for you harder. I let you misunderstand me because I was afraid you wouldnât want to stick around if I didnât succeed. I convinced myself that I was holding you down, but I never gave youâusâa chance. I never stopped regretting it since.â
âMe? Break up with you?â You echo incredulously. That statement is enough to break you from your trance, the telltale signs of indignation rising up your chest. âHow dare you suggestâMe? You were the one who broke up with me, asshole! You were the one who broke my heart and decided to up and leave to god knows where! Only to miraculously respawn right next to me, groveling at my feet with sad love songs as if thatâs enough for me to forgive and forget? Fucking entitled bastard,â you seethe.
Somehow, Jungkook manages to shrink more, like a bunny with his tail tucked between his legs. âYes, youâre right that I broke your heart but⊠When I told you I was moving away to try and become a singer, it was always with the intention of staying together. I know it would have been difficult, but I wanted you to be with me through thick and thin. But when you misunderstood and took it as a break up, I let you go because, well⊠I was scared that it would happen eventually. Who wants to date a broke busking fool anyway?â
He laughs, but it sounds watery. He sniffles, and you hope it's only because of the cold. âI tried looking for you, but you blocked me everywhere and no one from back home seemed to know where you went. So I just accepted that weâd never see each other again⊠Until a few days ago, that is.â
A misunderstanding? Is that what everything boils down to? Years of trying to build yourself back up again, relearning what it means to be happyâall the fallen domino pieces in your life trailing back to a single moment in time? All because Jungkook was scared that you didn't love him enough?
Youâve never felt angrier in your life. You fear what you might say if you continue to stand outside there, face to face with the singular person strong enough to whittle you down to the bone. Jeon Jungkook is all soft smiles and sweet songs, but how come heâs always able to knock you off your axis? Few people on this earth can stitch you up and break you down in equal measure, but somehow, Jungkook manages to do all that and more.
Then, comes the guilt. Had it been all your fault? That you hadn't returned his love in equal measure? Had you secretly given up on the hope of being on his level? Always looking down on yourself: unable to move past your insecurities. Were you terrified of being his side piece, his girlfriend, forever?
Who are you, even? And where do you stand?
(Beside him, is what you want to answer. You don't know if that's the right choice.)
You canât bear to look at him, least of all answer him. Without another word, you shove your house key into the door before slamming it shut despite the late hour. If you awaken any neighbors, youâll apologize later. For now, all you require is sleep and hope that this has been all a terrible nightmare.
xxx
Reality is a bitter pill to swallow.
Jeon Jungkook continues to sing at the restaurant, and after only two days of repeat stellar performances, your manager decides to promote him as the official vocalist for the band. It hurts to admit that you're not the least bit surprised; you might have a hard time looking at him, but you can never deny his talent.Â
His song list has added a larger variety of genres ever since his first performance. That is to say, he isnât always singing about lost loves and tragic couples every night. Perhaps it is due to some requests from customers or his other bandmates, but it doesnât stop him from sprinkling one or two love songs into the mix.Â
He doesnât sing any original songs ever again. That, at least, is a small mercy. He doesnât make any moves to speak with you either, despite the daily awkward trips back home after the end of your shifts. Whether thatâs because heâs given up on you (again), or heâs waiting for you to make the first move, you donât know. Frankly, you donât think you have the energy (nor courage) to do anything about it.
Itâs a few weeks after Jungkookâs first performance at the restaurant, and closing time is approaching. You appreciate Friday nights the most because it means youâll have two consecutive days to relax and avoid your problems. Itâs also the busiest night of the week, when white-collar workers decide to drink and eat for as long as the night allows them. Busier nights mean more distractions, and youâre willing to deal with twenty Karens over one Jungkook.
During nights like these, your manager occasionally asks you to fulfill some waitress duties when there arenât enough hands on deck. Normally youâd hate it, but earning the extra tips is enough to keep your grumbling to a minimum To this day, your landlord has yet to do anything about your broken shower, and youâve finally conceded to the fact that youâll have to be the one to do something about it.Â
As you inform the customers in your area that the last call for orders is approaching, you sneak a glance at the bar to see Jimin dutifully performing his job. That is to say, heâs flirting up a storm, getting women and men alike to blush from head to toe as he serves their drinks with a salacious smirk.
What a swindler, you think to yourself, snorting when he makes eye contact with you. He gives you a cheeky salute, mouthing something as he gestures to the back door.
Despite the semi-fight the two of you had all those weeks ago, Jimin was never one to argue about the same topic two days in a row. When you saw him the next day after your confrontation with Jungkook, Jimin was back to all smiles. You still catch him sending death glares towards Jungkook on most nights, but he doesnât bring up the matter with you anymore. For that reason, youâve gratefully settled back into your weird, banterful friendship with him. Even if thereâs still a lingering tension between the two of you that you refuse to acknowledge.
You nod thankfully back at him, excited to go to his house and take a much needed shower. At this point, going to his house has become second nature to you, and it gives you an excuse to not see Jungkook at your regular bus stop every day. You have half a mind to never fix your shower for that reason, but of course there is still the problem of having to deal with Jimin every time you need to bathe. You hardly consider yourself an impatient person, but Jimin likes to toe the line far more often than necessary.
Youâre down to your last two tables before you can close up shop when your manager suddenly barrels right into your path. You nearly drop your tray of dirty dishes to the floor, holding in a loud yelp as your suspiciously stern-faced manager halts you in place.
âMs. Y/N, may I have a word with you for a moment? Itâs regarding your paycheck for the month,â he barks, lips downturned. He appears disgruntled about something, and it sends a worried shiver down your spine. And here you thought Fridays are meant to be fun. He doesnât wait for you to reply before he stalks back to his office, an unspoken command for you to follow.Â
You unload your dishes in the kitchen before making your way to his office. The small, dark room is cramped with overflowing file folders and coupons from multiple take-out places. You accidentally step on a stack of papers, and upon further inspection, seem to be a pile of applications for new hires. You distinctly remember complaining to him months prior about being understaffed and him replying that no inquiries were coming in.
As you approach, your manager shuffles through your coworkers pay stubs, and you notice yours and Jungkookâs on top of the piles.Â
Manager Jeong clears his throat. âWell, Y/N. It seems to be your lucky day. As you know, we split the tips based on your hours and what sort of duties you fulfill. With the new hire we have as our in-house singer, weâve had to split it one way more to accommodate his arrival. However, he has recently requested to me that his portion be reallocated⊠to you, Ms. Y/N.â
Your jaw drops immediately. âI-I donât understand, Manager Jeong,â you sputter.Â
Manager Jeong snorts, bemused by your reaction. âDonât understand? Well, I suppose youâll have to ask Mr. Jeon if you want his reasoning. Regardless, since we normally deposit your salary straight to your bank account, would it be alright if I hand you his tips in cash for now? He only informed me about his request an hour ago, and the accountant has already clocked out for the week.â
All you can do is nod dumbly back at him. With a huff, your manager presses a white envelope into your hands before promptly ushering you out of his office. âWell, that's settled. Out you go! Have a good weekend, Ms. Y/N. Donât forget to lock the register before you leave!â He calls out before slamming his door in your face.
It takes you a moment to reanimate back to life. You stare at the white envelope for a long while, unable to fathom the scribbled out name of Jeon Jungkook replaced with your own name. Then, you crumple it into your fist before stomping over to where Jungkook and the rest of the band are in the middle of packing it up for the night.
Jungkook looks up from his guitar case when he senses you fast approaching. For a fleeting second, a smile graces his handsome face before itâs smacked away by your crumpled envelope.Â
âKeep your fucking cash, Jungkook. What the hell is your problem?â You fume, cheeks heating from agitation. Jungkook splutters for a moment, prying the envelope away from his face and looking at it in bewilderment. When he sees it clearly, recognition dawns on his face, followed by guilt.
âItâs just⊠my way of saying sorry, I guess.â He answers you meekly, neck flushing red in embarrassment. Behind him, the rest of the band grow silent at the scene before them, and you debate on telling them to mind their own business when they quicken their pace to leave.
âWell, keep your apology to yourself. Thereâs nothing to apologize for,â you correct him with a frown. To offer an apology is to offer accountability. You arenât sure if youâre ready to hear him say that.Â
âNo, itâs a sorry for⊠using you, I suppose.â
âUsing me?â You repeat, dumbfounded. âFor what?â
Jungkook smiles wryly back at you. âFor inspiration?â he clarifies. For being the reason I can sing? He leaves that part unsaid, but you can almost imagine him saying it.Â
You feel heat rising to your cheeks again, but this time you arenât quite sure if itâs from embarrassment, anger⊠or something else.
Unable to conjure up a response to his simple confession, you stomp away from him with a pounding heart and shaking hands. You continue the rest of your closing shift routine instinctually, your body moving on autopilot as Jungkookâs words continue to ring inside your head. When all is said and done, Jimin makes his way to your station with a questioning stare, but you wave him off in favor of stomping ahead of him to the parking lot.
In his car, Jimin rattles off about his latest exploits and purchases, his grating voice a comfort for once. You hum noncommittally during his stories when appropriate, but you suppose your usual indifference feels different, even to Jimin's untrained ears.Â
At his house, you drift to his bathroom immediately. You already have a shirt button undone by the time you get a handle on the door when Jiminâs hand stops you in place. You can feel his warmth emanating against your back as he slowly pulls the bathroom door close. With a tired sigh, you reluctantly turn to face him and find him standing closer than you expected.
He has an arm resting above your head, effectively caging you. You feel your shoulders sag. Damn, here comes another confrontation. Why canât everyone just leave you alone?!
âTalk to me,â he says. No, he demands.
You push him away weakly, but he hardly budges. âNothing to talk about,â you lie. Had you no filter, youâd be word vomiting all over the place ages ago.
Jimin groans, rolling his eyes in exasperation. âEnough with the emotional constipation. Iâm here to listen, alright? No teasing or anything, Iâm all ears and maybe a shoulder to cry on. Just donât stain my Chanel top too bad,â he jokes.
You puff out a short breathâa sorry excuse for a laugh. âDonât you get it? I donât want to talk about it, and thatâs that.â
âItâll make you feel a lot better, though,â he offers.
You scoff. âWhat makes you think that? What if I just want to ignore all my problems forever and never grow from it? Is that so bad?â
Jimin pushes himself away from you, raising his hands in mock defeat. âYouâre so fucking annoying. Can you stop running away from your problems and talk to me? Hell, talk to Jungkook for all I care! Just stop being a doormat and speak your mind for once in your damn life!â
âWhat are you, my therapist?â You brush past him, shower all but forgotten. You begin toeing your shoes back on, ready to head home tired and smelly. At the very least, you wonât have to deal with this stupid annoying asshole any longer.Â
Jimin strides back towards you, but for once he doesnât do anything to forcibly stop you. Jimin has always been gruff with you, not afraid to push and pull you in any which direction. Itâs part of the reason why you canât take him seriously, even though youâve recently realized why he was always being such a prick towards youâ
âYeah, Iâm not your therapist. But for better or for worse, Iâm your friend and IâI fucking care about you, alright? And it sucks seeing that good-for-nothing stick his nose in your business and act like he can do anything without any repercussions.â
Is Jimin being for real right now? âWith how often you look at yourself in the mirror, youâd think youâd be better at introspection,â is all you say to that. You shove your feet into your shoes, not caring that youâve probably put them on wrong. Maybe itâs because itâs Friday and the fatigue from the week has finally settled deep in your bones, but you canât help but leave one last scathing remark to drive the final nail in the coffin.
âYou know, if you were a little nicer to me, maybe I would talk to you. Hell, maybe Iâd like you back. But no, just keep being your domineering, asshole self and Iâll keep being the same fucking doormat bitch you know and love,â you spit, turning towards the door and away from his face. Youâre not even curious to see how he reacts. âI donât need protection, alright? When I tell you to stay out of my business, you stay out of it. So donât try and pretend to be my knight in shining armor.â
Thereâs an ocean of silence, enough to hear a pin drop. The urge to apologize surges to the surface, but you stamp it down. Heâs petty all the time, so now itâs your turn.
Okay, maybe thatâs a little too mean on your part, but youâre exhausted. Perhaps it is true when they say you should never act on your anger when itâs past midnight. But can anyone blame you? Youâre only a girl, and girls need to snap too.Â
When he responds, his voice sounds weak. Park Jimin, weak? It's almost unthinkable. "Why don't you trust me?"
Isn't it obvious? you want to say. But some mercy remains within you. You'll pick up the pieces another time. Instead, you rasp out, âGood night, Park. Iâll see you on Monday.â
The walk of shame back to your house is long and arduous. Your phone dings thrice, likely signaling texts from Jimin, but you turn it off without checking for sure. For once, the weight on your shoulders is slightly lighter. You huff out a dry laugh, realizing belatedly that maybe Jimin is rightâmaybe speaking your mind has its benefits.
Thereâs a small park in your neighborhood that you always pass by. You donât remember the last time you spared it a second glance, but this time you notice a lone figure swinging back and forth, arching dangerously higher than what you would consider safe. From a distance, all you can make out are the personâs comically bright boots, and you have a sinking suspicion you know who it is without seeing their face.
Cosmos, or whoever it is that controls my life, why must you braid our strings of fate so tightly? You ask, but as always, it refuses to reply.
Against your better judgment, your feet bring you closer towards him. He has his back towards you, his feet pumping him higher and higher and you half expect him to swing in a perfect arc like a gymnast on parallel bars. You have to keep your distance a bit, lest you get the wind knocked out of you by his signature stompers.Â
You clear your throat, and the boy stops mid-swing and nearly catapults himself into the spongey, playground floor. Hunched over and wheezing, Jungkook directs his shocked eyes at you with a comical stare.Â
You raise a hand in greeting. A peace offering, maybe. âHelloââ
âI swear Iâm not stalking you!â Jungkook interrupts as he scrambles to his feet. He bows deeply in remorse, the action so endearingly him. âS-sorry, Iâll make my way home nowâŠâ
âI donât own the park, Jungkook. I was just saying helloâŠâ You snort, wringing your hands uncomfortably. You grind your shoes into the ground, the sound of crunching leaves breaking the still air. âA-and⊠to say sorry, for earlier.â
âSorry?â Jungkook repeats, confused. When he realizes what you mean, he waves his hands frantically. âNo, no! Donât be sorry! It was my fault for being so inconsiderate. I understand how you might misconstrue my actions, and I made things more awkward. Iâll consider your feelings more in the futureâŠâ
In the future⊠You cough, unwilling to meet his bright and honest gaze. If you stare too long, you fear you might go blind.Â
âI come here to the park often, when I feel too cramped inside my apartment,â Jungkook explains, frantic energy radiating off him in waves. Heâs gesticulating too much, a clear sign that heâs trying to hide his nerves. You remember how he would do the same thing in high school, whenever he had to present his projects in front of the class.Â
You hold a hand up, a weak attempt to get him to calm down. âIâm not here to interrogate you. I just wanted toâŠâ What is it that you wanted to do?
The two of you just stand awkwardly like that, similar to a few weeks ago when you discovered you were neighbors. Youâre grasping at straws in your head, both conflicted for wanting to tell him something and running away. Even if you were to talk to him, what would you say? Thereâs a reason you told Jimin you didnât want to talkâfrankly, itâs mostly because you have no idea what to say or feel.Â
But you do know, the universe responds.Â
I ask you questions all the time, and this is how you respond?Â
Either that, or youâre going insane, the universe remarks.
Jungkook pulls out his phone, his fingers fumbling as he unlocks it. He takes a furtive step towards you, but thinks better of it. Thereâs a few feet of distance between you, but it feels like worlds apart. Close and yet so far. You recall how youâd easily pull him towards you in the past, how being together felt as natural as breathing.Â
âI know you absolutely hated it the last time I played my original song at the restaurant, so I refrained from performing any ever since that night. But that didnât stop me from writing them. I was fine with keeping them locked in a vault forever, butâŠâ He hesitates, searching you for any signs of discomfort. When he sees the carefully blank look on your face, he continues with trepidation.Â
âCan I try a song for you? You donât have to say yes, and youâre free to tell me to fuck off and Iâll never even look at you ever again. JustâŠâ He flails one last time, a choked sob making its escape from his throat.Â
Are you hopeless for wanting to say yes? Or were you reverting back to your old self who relied on him and believed in him so heavily? If you wanted him out of your life for good, you would have quit your job at the first sight of him. Maybe you were masochistic. Or maybe were you hopeful for a new start, a chance to rekindle a relationship that youâve secretly always wanted to repair.
You have so much life ahead of you. Many more mistakes will be made and maybe theyâll haunt you when youâre older. But would it really be such a terrible gamble to take one more chance?Â
You nod, and seal your fate.
He presses play, and the soft strumming of a guitar fills the empty playground air.Â
Not for the first time, you wonder how it can be so easy for Jungkook to be so⊠honest. He spills his heart in every song that he writes, and you know heâs never been a great liar. He canât help it, being genuine is in his DNA. This crashing waterfall, this boy with overflowing emotionsâhe sings what he thinks but feels terrified because of it. You might not understand his honesty, but you know that fear. You know it all too well.
He beholds himself to youâraw and unfiltered. A little battered and bruised, but still Jungkook. Behind everything, still the boy youâve been yearning for.
Maybe this song is what will give you enough confidence to admit everything to him, too. As you stand there, listening to his mellow voice sing confessions to no one but you and the stars, you think you grow a little more courageous that day.
Maybe you wonât be able to tell him tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, nor next week either. But as you gaze back at his hopeful eyes, you know deep in your heart that youâll find the words youâve been looking for.
âIâll keep waiting for you, if you let me.â Jungkookâs voice floats gently to you, and settles in your open palms. This time, you donât let go
xxx
Months later, Jungkook stops working at the restaurant when an offer from a major record company arrives in his mail. Apparently, a big shot from the local radio station had pitched him to an employee at that company and they were all pleasantly surprised to find a hidden gem at a random bar and restaurant. Â
In your apartment, you stare outside your window and to where his home isâwell, where it was. You wonder if he finished packing his things, ready to make the big move tomorrow. You stand up with a stretch, sparing a glance at your still broken shower. It would be nice to have one more shower at his place⊠And after that? Maybe you should start looking for a nicer apartment; somewhere far away might be nice.
Your phone rings, and you see his contact photo light up your screen. With a smile, you answer.
âCome over, if you want. I wonât make you,â Jungkook assures you.Â
You laugh lightly, already halfway out the door.Â
#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts reader insert#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bangtan#bts#bts fanfic
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Welcoming Another Verstappen [Mini Verstappen Series]
Dad!Max Verstappen x Mother!Reader (Established Relationship)
Photo Credit: Pinterest/Tumblr
Format: Social Media
Previous Part â Next Part Mini Verstappen Masterlist
ynverstappen
Liked by maxverstappen1, sophiekumpen, and 428,916 others
ynverstappen Our secret got spilled a little early but I can't wait to meet you in July.
landonorris Championships = Number of children????
ynverstappen I can't confirm or deny that.
fan94 When Mama Verstappen is pregnant again!
fan23 How does she look so fucking radiant? Like, you just had a child less than 2 years ago.
fan37 Wait, didnât Max just let this slip on the Team Redline stream this afternoon?
fan86 So, lukecraneoffical just unintentionally spilled the beans of Y/N's pregnancy without any knowledge.
fan69 Yeah fan86. Wish I heard what Y/N said when Max had his mic turned off.
May 25, 2027
maxverstappen1
Liked by sophiekumpen, martingarrix, and 698,563 others
maxverstappen1 Welcome to the world Nikolaas Martijn Verstappen. You surprised us by crossing the finished line early. Clocking in a time of 38 weeks.
landonorris I called dibs on the next kid being names after me. What happened?
maxverstappen1 Talk to my wife. She makes the rules.
martingarrix I'm honored that this little boy is named after me. maxverstappen1 liked this
christianhorner Congratulations Max and Y/N on the birth of another healthy baby boy. Wishing you all the best from myself and Geri.
fan39 Love that Y/N is in charge of naming all of the kids.
fan76 Just did a little math, 38 weeks... looks like we have ourselves a WDC baby!
July 9, 2027
ynverstappen
Liked by oscarpiastri and 452,234 others
ynverstappen Happy Birthday to my oldest child. My first little boy. The kid who woke me up one day just to sit in Max's car and ask me, Mama when can I go get my super license like Papa? You bring joy to my life every day, I never knew what unconditional love was until the day that I met you.
landonorris If he wants his super license, he needs to learn from a real professional.
dannyric3fan Umm... Max is a real professional mate. Those WDCs weren't accidents. mstappenfan dannyric3fan Pretty sure that Lando is joking, no reason to turn this serious man.
charles_leclerc Super license? He's only 7!
mstappenfan85 Max started driving in Formula 1 when he was 17, so it's not that far away. Just another 11 years by FIA rules.
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fan68 I know most people are over the whole Y/N isn't Nico's birth mom discussion. But it really tells you a lot about her that after she's had two kids with Max, she doesn't treat Nico differently than Nikita or Nikolaas. She loves all of them the same.
October 17, 2027
ynverstappen
Liked by victoriaverstappen, sophiekumpen and 284,679 others
ynverstappen Happy Holidays from Belgium!
victoriaverstappen The boys look so cute in their matching pajamas.
ynverstappen Niki says thank you auntie for his Christmas gifts! victoriaverstappen đđ
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fan87 How is it that all of Max's kids look exactly like him?
fan45 Verstappen clones! One wasn't enough when Nico came into Max's life, Y/N birthed two more!
fan98 Love the little peek into the Verstappen clan! Especially since Y/N hasnât been coming to races recently.
December 28, 2027
Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen, @shelbyteller , @geniusalpaca, @princessria127 , @mysticalnightenthusiast , @green-thots , @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp , @ellelabelle , @lilypat , @dreamercrowd
#mini verstappen series#f1 instagram au#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen imagines#mv33 x you#mv33 x reader#mv1 x reader#mv1 x you#mv1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula one imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au
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Speaking of Mr. Daniel, we all know that he injured himself a while ago. How about the reader faking an orgasm because she doesnât want to tire or injure him? Daniel frowns immediately upon noticing, but the nurse kicks you out because itâs past hours, and he's longing for the reader. He tries to grab the reader to come back but winces in pain, proving the reader's point. Your pleasure is extremely important to him so heâll stop functioning if you said otherwise.
đđđđđđđđđđđ'đ 2đ¶ đŸđđđđđđ | đżđđ đŻđđđđđ đœđđđđđđđđ đ°đđđđđđ
đđ©đąđŹđšđđ đđĄđ«đđ: đđđŹđ„đąđ đĄđ, đđđđđ€đđđ©, đđąđ«đ„đđšđŹđŹ
Summary: When Daniel isnât feeling well, itâs no hardship for her to take of him. Except this time, he broke his hand and is proceeding to be an absolute nightmare to take care of. They havenât had sex since before the accident in Zandvoort because sheâs afraid that somehow sheâll end up aggravating his injury. Daniel, however, has convinced himself that he only exists to bring her pleasure. So, she comes up with a plan to soothe his service dom tendencies. Enter, Operation Fake Orgasm. How hard can it be? Spoiler alert: sheâs a terrible actress. Pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!black-coded!reader(her skintone isn't referenced but she has braids.) Content Warning: 18+ only. mdni. explicit sexual content. orgasm/delay denial. hurt/comfort. caretaking. servicedom!daniel. discussion of pain medication, injuries, and hospitals. dom/sub undertones. sub/shy!reader. praise kink mentioned. sensual beard shaving (it's hot). wet dreams. somnophilia. safe, sane, and consensual. oral sex (m and f receiving). vaginal sex. fake orgasm. mentioned multiple orgasms. Word Count: 3.6k words
Author's Notes: if the tags scare you, i promise it's not that bad!
secondly, thank you for the patience concerning the delay. my sister is doing a lot better now! she had an allergic reaction to pollen; she inhaled so much that her lungs freaked the fuck out on her, and i was in the hospital from 9am-9pm all day. finally got back home so i'm posting it, way late, but at least it's on the same day.
to make up for it, even though my lil sis was nearly taken out by the environment (i'm joking i love her i'm just being a big sister rn), i am releasing episode four on friday! and episode five on either tuesday or wednesday next week!
i hope you all like this episode xxx
prev 2k special join taglist feedback & requests table of contents next â»
The sound of bedsheets ruffling contrasts with the monotonous beeps of the heart monitor filling the sterile hospital room; the noise is more than enough to have you snapping your head away from your phone to look at your boyfriend. Danielâs awake and he meets your eyes with a soft groan. You coo at him softly, squeezing his hand gently as he reorients himself.
âWhat time âst?â Daniel croaks out. You cringe at the sound of his dry speech and quickly hand him the glass of water resting at his bedside.
âItâs getting late, baby,â you hum, not failing to notice the slight wince he does when his cast knocks against the bed rail, âI sent Michael back to the hotel not too long ago, around 7. Charles, Lando, Max, and Oscar came and kept me company while you were in surgery. Oscar, I think, was pretty shaken up stillâto me, I could tell he felt a little guilty that youâre here with a broken hand and heâs as right rainâso, maybe when youâre more clear-headed you can reach out to him. Yuki and Michael were here the first time you woke up. Still, you were so high on your pain medication cocktail, that I think you were hearing colors and seeing sounds,â you break from your ramble, suddenly standing and reaching over the bed to press the call button, remembering the nurse told you to alert her as soon as he woke again.
âYes?â Daniel offers, unsure of how to respond to the edge in your tone, âIâm feeling better by the wayâ.â
A hysterical giggle slips from your lips, and you can see the regret wash over his face when you meet his eyes with a crazed look, âForgive me, for not asking how you were feeling right away Daniel. Itâs almost like, my brain isnât working properly because Iâm fucking worried about you. Yeah? I watched you crash into the barriers, and I heard you in painâI called everyone on your team to get updates and nobody answered! So, I got on the next flight to Zandvoort after Michael finally texted me with updates, with no luggage, just my phone and a change of clothesâso forgive me, for not checking in on you right away, after you didnât call me once,â you blink rapidly and Daniel softens, clearly it was a terrible time to deflect with humor, he just hates to see you worry about him, thatâs why he avoided calling. Heâs usually the one taking care of you.
âA-are you feeling better, though?â you ask shakily, deflating quickly at the sight of his warm brown eyes, âYouâre going to set off every metal detector for the foreseeable future.â
âItâs like a 6 out 10 on the pain scaleââ
âThatâs what Iâm here for,â the nurse interrupts in accented English, smiling at the two of you briefly before she moves to Danielâs side and catching him up on the outcome of the surgery and discussing pain medication.Â
âVisiting hours ended an hour ago,â the nurse speaks to you directly, âDid nobody come to escort you out?â
You shake your head in surprise, the time on your phone reads 9 PMâyou have no recollection of time passing that quickly since Michael left. Gathering your few belongings, you lean down to kiss Daniel gently, âBe good for the doctors and nurses, Danny. Iâll be back in the morning, okay?â
âNo, whatâshe canât stay?â Daniel begs the nurse, and she frowns at him apologetically.
Ruffling his hair, you continue, âItâs not her faultâsheâs just doing her job. And, weâre besties now,â Daniel stares at you confused, âSheâs been coming to check up on me the entire time you decided to cosplay Sleeping Beauty so if you decide to be difficult overnight, she will not hesitate to snitch on you to me. Understand?â
Daniel swallows before nodding jerkily, âCan I have another kiss?â
Itâs an easy ask for you to fulfill; but as your lips barely brush his, Daniel hisses out in pain. He tried to use his left hand to pull you closer to him, obviously aggravating the injury. You exclaim worriedly and he tries to pretend that the flare of pain wasnât that severe. But, as the nurse reassures you that the pain meds will kick in and heâll go right to sleep, youâve already decided: that hand will never be in a situation that causes Daniel unnecessary pain again.Â
You tell Daniel that same sentence on the flight back to Monaco. He assumed that meant youâd force him to wear a sling or have it constantly cushioned and elevated (which you did anyway). However, he shouldâve asked you to elaborate because he was completely blindsided to learn that you really meant all situations.Â
You may have gone overboard the first week. Youâre well aware that his hand is the only broken thing on his body, but you pamper him as if heâs bedridden with the most severe flu seen in the last century. You cook and order him hearty meals, you have alarms set for when he needs to take his medication, you shower with him to make sure he doesnât wet his castâwhere nothing sexual happens, you killed the vibe the first time he insinuated shower sex in conversation, mentioning the statistics of shower-related deathsâyou quickly fulfill all of his requests, even if itâs sitting through a movie you find tasteless; yet, you refuse to fulfill one: sex.Â
The doctor pulled you aside while Daniel was getting dressed to be discharged and told you to make sure heâs very careful with his arm, slow and controlled movements only, nothing abrupt.Â
And, if thereâs one word to describe Daniel during sex, it would probably be abrupt.Â
He canât keep his hands off of you when heâs uninjured. From your first time with Daniel, he showed and proved just how much your pleasure is important to himâhe made sure that you understood that he lives and breathes to make you satisfied. But, you also know that heâd ignore his pain if it meant he was making you feel good; and, thatâs not something you can risk, not with an injury that could affect his career if it doesnât heal properly.Â
Youâve reiterated that to him multiple times when Daniel tries to deepen kisses, hoping youâll forget about your stupid sex ban and let him make you feel good. Heâs not used to going this long without making sure youâre sexually satisfied. You donât even allow him to guide you through masturbation, because you know you wonât be satisfied with it even if you get offâitâll only lead to you falling into his lap begging for more.Â
On the eighth day, youâre sitting in Danielâs lap on the couch, rubbing ointment into the bruises left by the seatbelts of the car. You thought he was focused on watching the entire Dutch Grand Prix he missed out on, not thinking much of how heâs toying with the length of your braids with his uninjured hand.Â
You think nothing of the soft sighs, moans, and groans heâs letting out of his mouth as you lightly massage him. All of these noises are common reactions to a sensation that feels good. It sucks that they happen to sound very similar to the moans Daniel makes when he initially fucks into you. Youâre just a girl with needs that Daniel never fails to take care of; youâre not used to this, for the same reason Daniel canât understand why you wonât let him get you off.Â
Then, Daniel gasps out a soft âfuckâ that has no reason to be sounding that lustful and you start to squirm in his lap. You mindlessly continue to massage him, not exactly proud of the way you continue to strain your ears to hear his noisesâand on one particular shift of your hips, you brush across his hard-on that wasnât there a few minutes ago, and automatically fly off his lap.
In the frantic movement, Daniel tried to use both of his hands to keep you in his lap, irritating his broken hand. You flutter around him worriedly, your words a mix of chastising and displeasure. You donât hesitate to say that this is exactly why the sex ban is in place (Daniel pleaded that it was a fluke, but youâre not eager to put that to the test).
Three days pass before Daniel deems you relaxed enough to have another attempt at seducing you into an orgasm or two. He approached you in the evening after you had watched him like a hawk as he took his pain medication. He wants you to shave his beard. Itâs grown out some since he hasnât shaved in a week or so. Youâre not a professional beard shaver or anything, but you can imagine itâs difficult to shave your face with one hand. And of course, youâd jump at any opportunity to help out your boyfriend and allow him to relax and look pretty. After an unnecessarily long tutorial, Daniel pretends to have 100% faith in your skills and lets you take the first swipe across his cheek. You painstakingly use slow movements and light pressure, not forgetting to pull his skin tight with your other hand and clean the razor off with every stroke. You feel him tense underneath you as you ready to attempt shaving along his jawline.Â
Pulling back at the last second, you make to smack his shoulder before hesitating and pinching him instead (itâs his left arm, you donât want to jostle his cast resting on the bathroom vanity), ignoring his yelp you nag him, âWell, donât act like Iâm about to gouge your throat out or anything! I can feel you freeze up underneath meâitâs not like I want to cut you. I already have to stare at your ugly face every day, I donât want to make it worse.â
Daniel pretends to be offended at your attack and the two of you bicker back and forth before settling down. The fake roast session calmed Daniel enough that when you brought the razor to his jaw, he remained relaxed.Â
You smoothly shave the small area of skin and turn to clean the razor when Daniel speaks softly, âYouâre so good,â a slight pause follows, âat this.âÂ
The praise tingles down your spine and you think nothing of it. Except, it continues. With nearly every swipe along his jaw, he continues to murmur praise with lidded eyes and an alluring tone. Whispers along the lines of âgood girl,â âjust like that,â âyouâre so sweet to me,â and paired with his stare dancing across your face, you dread the moment you finish shaving him. As your razor ventures down his throat, the air grows thick with intimacy. Itâs the result of your boyfriend trusting you to repeatedly brush a blade along his throat and your unfortunate kink for praise and acts of service. With the last brush of the razor, you gently set it down on the vanity, exchanging it for cloth you wet with hot water. Ringing it out thoroughly, you gently begin to wipe Danielâs face avoiding eye contact. When you swipe around his lips, you get distracted by their flushed color, a result of when Daniel bit his lip to make the skin underneath taut for you to shave. His tongue slips out to wet them and you canât help but smash your lips to his.
It feels euphoric. Youâre kissing him frantically, moaning into his mouth without inhibition, and you can feel him laugh as he struggles to match your desperate pace. His hand squeezes at your waist, anchoring you yet furthering your desperation at the strong grip as you try to climb him like a tree, tugging at his hair, shirt, pants, anything you can reach. At this point, Daniel wouldâve had a hand in your hair, tugging at your scalp sharply a couple of times to rein you in and move you to his rhythm. Youâre a little lost at the missing sensation and you pull away to pout at Daniel like you always do when he spends too much time teasing you.
It takes one look at his blown pupils, smug smile, and heaving chest before it jogs your memory. You step backward quickly to put space between you guys, raising a hand when you see him open his mouth, knowing heâs only going to convince you to get naked for him.
âIâm going to bed,â you state with a pointed finger, âYou, are going to get in the shower, with cold water, and think about what you did wrong. And! You will not wake me up for sex.â
Danielâs face falls, and you can tell he expected you to break, âWaitâyou donât let me shower by myself, what if I fall?â
You turn and leave the room, âIt would be divine intervention. Karma, for trying to get me to break my rule.â
Daniel doesnât wake you when he slips into bed, but you lose the benefit of going to sleep early when you jolt awake before sunrise. Your mouth is dry and your panties are embarrassingly wet. You canât recall a single detail of your dream. Still, your legs are trembling at whatever scenario your brain decided to torment you with.Â
Fuck it. Or fuck him, literally.
That makes sense. Youâre going to ride Daniel, itâs the perfect position to make sure he doesnât move his arm. You work him up beforehand so hopefully he wonât last as long; Daniel has unparalleled stamina usually, but with you constantly denying him for a whileâŠhe may wind up quicker. As soon as he cums, youâll fake yours as wellâbecause heâs only pleased if you're satisfied, otherwise heâll attempt a round two. Itâs that easy, right? You turn on your side and stare at Daniel, his face relaxed as he sleeps. Your synapses start firing as the plan comes to life. The two of you have discussed somnophilia, more on you as the receiving party. Daniel, of course, offered himself to you on a silver platterâany taste of you using him to get off? Thatâs always going to be a yes from him. So, yes. It is that easy.
You pull the duvet down to the edge of the bed and quietly shift to hover over Danielâs thighs, never more thankful that he decided to wear only briefs to bed. And that heâs already half-hard; youâre extremely happy that the two of you donât have a hand on how creative your dreams can get. He doesnât shift when you pull his cock from underneath his briefs, carefully dragging them
down just enough to not be a bother. He stays under as you get him hard, it only takes a few strokes and some teasing along a vein on the underside. You rise slightly, sucking on two of your fingers before bringing them to rest along your entrance. Itâs an annoying experience, you canât remember the last time you had to stretch yourself outâDanielâs spoiled you. The feeling of your fingers inside of you is underwhelming, the slight tinge of pleasure would be multiplied if it were him instead but; this is not for you. You are simply performing tonight.
You slide your fingers out and decide on getting Daniel as close to the edge as you can before he wakes up. You lean down to mouth at the head of his cock, knowing itâs incredibly sensitive and the sensation pushes him to the edge quicker than anything else. It canât be more than a couple of strained minutesâyour eyes and ears peeled to make sure you donât miss any signs of Daniel starting to awaken. Thankfully, you feel him start to pulse along your tongue, a sure sign that heâs getting there.
You pull off, taking a second to breathe as you rest your head on his hip. With one last reassuring exhale, you move to straddle him, one hand underneath you to guide his length to your pussy. The second his head pops into you, you let out a pitiful whimper, eyelids fluttering shut, and your legs begin trembling again. Another realization hits you as you struggle to silently take all of Daniel.
You canât recall a single time Daniel had forced you to be quiet. Heâs always trying to make you scream his name. If he needs to hide your noises he muffles them with a hand over your mouth or his fingers in your mouth. Naturally, you use his tricks and do the same. With two of your fingers shoved in your mouth, you quiet your sounds as your ass meets your (somehow still) sleeping boyfriend's thighs. It feels like heâs in your throat; you know that no matter how long it takes you to make him cum, youâre going to be aching tomorrow. You begin to grind against him, whimpering softened around your digits. You slowly increase your rhythm up to a bounce, doing your best to squeeze around himâDaniel has mentioned before that he canât resist cumming when you feel like you're trying to keep him inside of you and never let him pull out.
It must work because suddenly Danielâs hips rock up into yours, and heâs awake with a singular breathy moan of, âYesâoh, I thought I was still dreaming.â
You laugh airily, letting your spit-slicken fingers fall from your mouth and drop to press against your clit (youâre not actually, youâve missed it by a mile but itâs all about convincing Daniel), avoiding meeting his eyes knowing Danny will assume itâs under the pretense of you being shy (once again, yes you are incredibly mortified, but you know heâll be able to tell that you're faking this in a split second).
âH-how long,â Daniel moans out crackly, his abdomen contracting underneath you, âHave you been at this? âGonna make me cum already.â
You nod frantically, moaning out loudly as if youâre on the edge as well. Daniel gets his feet planted and thrusts up into you forcefully enough that your moans turn real. Throwing your head back so he doesnât see your face in case it gives you away, you continue to moan out exaggeratedly as you feel him cum inside you, pitching your voice and shuddering as if you released as well.
âWhat the fuck was that?â Daniel commands quietly.
You slump forward, sliding off his softening length and nuzzling into his neck to pretend like you didnât hear him and to hide. He lets you avoid answering the first time he asks. He takes his good hand and fists his hand in the braids along the nape of your neck and tightens his grasp enough to get you to gasp.
âMhm. When you cum, baby,â he starts softly, âThatâs the quietest you ever get during sex. Usually, itâs because you choke on your breath, even though I remind you to breathe through it every time. You do this cute little thing where you try to slam your thighs shut around me, it doesnât matter if itâs my hand, my head, or my hips, you try to crush me. Itâs also one of the only times during sex when you make eye contact with me on your own, well depending on what position I have you in. I wonât repeat myself.â
You mumble into his chest fitfully before sitting up, âI didnât want you to hurt your hand, okay? Thatâs all. During sex, you can never stop touching me and I was afraid that somehow youâd treat your hand a little too roughly and then, boom, youâll never drive a Formula One car againââ
âCalm down, babe,â Daniel soothes you, bringing his right hand to massage your hip, âI think youâve overdramatized my injury in your head a little bit. Firstly, I donât even care if my hand suddenly fell offâgenuinely, never deprive me of making you feel good. That hurts me more than my hand aches. Secondly, this entire time I didnât even move my left hand off the bed. See?â
You look down at his hand and nod once. This entire time you enforced a needless sex ban when you couldâve been riding a high every day.
âNow, if you could be kind enough to let me restore my ego,â Daniel taps you on the ass so you rise to kneel over him, âCâmere and sit on my face.â
You hesitate, the thought of pretending to deny him crosses your mind, but you already shorted yourself of one orgasm tonight. Thatâs how you find yourself riding Danielâs face, embarrassingly almost losing control of your legs at the first knock of his nose against your clit. Your boyfriend has mastered the skill of eating pussy and thatâs why you feel no shame in just how quickly a few targeted thrusts of his tongue and the pressure of his nose have you shattering apart above him. And as Daniel said, you do choke on your breath as you climax, your legs tighten around his head as wellâand you donât have the strength to be humiliated at how he knows your body better than yourself.
Daniel guides you off his mouth and lays you down by his side only using the uninjured arm, and the care and strength behind that movement sends you shaking again through the aftershock and come down.Â
Daniel coaxes you onto your back and nudges your legs open to slide in between them. He trails the fingers of his right hand across your fluttering folds, before spreading you open with two fingers, enamored at the way your relaxed entrance winks at him.Â
âYou can give me one or two more right? I think you need a reminder of how much I thrive off of making you feel good, pretty girl. Letâs see how many more I can get out of you before the sunrise.â
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Speaking of forhead kisses... maybe something for lia wÀlti? Maybe her and r are not yet dating or havn't been dating for long and lia accidently finds out that she is readers phone background
SURPRISE â lia wĂ€lti
another day, another lil blurb. found this right deep in the drafts half written. i need to stop starting to write something and then not finishing it until weeks months later.
masterlist
you and lia were the new couple on the block, youâd only just started dating a few months ago. so everything was still pretty new, finding out new habits the other had. to say the least there had been a lot of firsts that had happened in your relationship on the last coming weeks.
you were sat together on the team coach on the way to an away fixture. you and lia talking amongst yourselves as you leant your head on her shoulder. you hands interlocked as a series played through a headphone you both had in each ear.
âoh! i forgot i was meant to show you this, this morningâ you burst up scrambling around in your seat for you phone remembering that you had seen a certain fan edit on instagram that you had saved and wanted to show your girlfriend.
lia slightly taken back by your sudden movements but let you carry on as she sat watching you with a timid smile on her face, making sure to press pause on the series knowing you would just whine and ask her to rewind it so you could watch the minutes youâd missed.
finally found you phone, you asked lia to hold it while you got yourself back into a comfy position in the seat. but as lia was holding it the screen flashes on, lia glancing at it but her eyes catch something else.
your lock screen. it was of the two of you the night she had asked you to be her girlfriend. a photo so simple as her kissing your cheek. something lia hadnât seen yet, because you hadnât told her in fear she may think you were moving too fast.
lia felt her heart get bigger as the love for you seemed to grow more and more each day. a loving smile appearing on the swissâ face as you asked your girlfriend for your phone back although lia too wrapped in her own thoughts never heard you.
âlia? baby? can i have my-â you paused turning your head back to lia, pausing for a second realising what the brunette was looking at.
âi- um.. you werenât supposed-â you rattled off quickly, taking your phone out of your girlfriends hands. your eyes going straight to look at your lap, not knowing what to say, or even how she would react. would she find it cringe?
âno, babe. itâs cute i love itâ lia gushed as you slowly lifted your eyes back up to meet your girlfriend. your mood perking back up which had fell flat momentarily.
you blushed as you felt the heat on your cheeks heating up, but liaâs smile just got bigger as she leaned forward to pepper kisses all across your face as light giggled left your lips.
âand i love youâ
#lia walti x reader#lia walti#lia wÀlti#woso community#woso x reader#woso#woso imagine#woso blurbs#awfc#arsenal women#arsenal wfc#arsenal#enwoso
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