#and i feel like a lot of my intent is lost
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stillarobyn · 3 days ago
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I understand the intention behind this post and I don't disagree with it. I don't.
If you're writing a period piece or something with a certain dark tone, then yes, you absolutely want to keep to that, give your gruff sailor a mumbled line about not being like most other men, or your scattered workaholic scientist can say she never felt like she was missing out on anything by not having a partner while they save the world.
But do not limit the reach of fanfiction by expecting it to be held to the same standards.
Because we need both. Because the target audience for a lot of works that employ this are young, they're disconnected from community, and they're lost. They think they're broken or they don't fit or they are made wrong.
I, a millennial, didn't know about bisexuality until I read about it in fanfic somewhere around 2003 (I was 13). I didn't know any out gay or queer people growing up. It was still scandalous on tv, and my parents didn't have any problem with it, they just didn't talk about it. I can't imagine how isolating it would have felt if my parents prevented me from watching anything with gay characters or spoke negatively about them.
My first discovery of nonbinary identity was in a bandom fic I read in 2010 (I was 20, for those playing the home game). It was maybe two years after that that I began to talk with nonbinary/genderqueer/genderfluid people online. I knew a couple of binary trans people in college, and one in high school, but this was my first time meeting people who weren't a binary gender. In 2012! It took another two years for me, at this point a full-ass adult, to start describing myself that way.
All of this oversharing to say...my understanding of queer identity was not hand-held by anyone in my life, but boy I learned to accept these foreign ideas I saw in myself because I had a safe fictional environment to explore these concepts and terms.
I think it was 2014-2016 when fanfic spaces had a boom of "everyone is trans" AUs and headcanons, and they were often rose-tinted and a bit twee, but that's the point of them. I saw identities I had to look up, and when I asked in follow-up "okay, but what does a person who feels like that look/act like?" it was all crickets, except in fiction, and specifically fanfic.
"But the world is different now, not knowing is no excuse" NOPE. not with anti-lgbtqia legislation passing in the US, or in other hostile countries around the world (I'm from the US, my argument is US-centric based on my experience and knowledge, but by no means exclusionary of people in other countries), or even family situations or rural upbringing or any other circumstance that isolated young queer folk from other queer folk.
A popular live-service video game introduced a nonbinary character and I saw twitch chats full of people who were just confused and uneducated. Ignoring those who were hostile was easy, but the uninformed, especially the non-English-speakers and people who didn't come from Western cultures, were largely open to learning something they never had framework for. Made all the more frustrating in a game environment where the characters didn't make a habit of having these discussions on screen, but that's a different rant.
I don't know if OP intended this in reference to original media, or toward fic, but I saw a lot of established characters in the reblogs so I just want to address that. I'm a characterization first fic reader, so I get it. "Everyone is trans" fics aren't for me, but there's a space needed for them if someone needs to see Captain Kirk and Spock debating the application of terminology of human gender and sexuality in interplanetary cultural settings...now actually I kind of want that fic so I played myself.
Dragon Age Veilguard came under attack for daring to openly and forwardly use the term "nonbinary" in its fantasy world, as though something about the word is inherently incompatible with the fantasy genre? But the game was pretty clear in its goal to create a safe gaming space for marginalized folks when so often their experiences are erased, ignored, tokenized, or stereotyped. The narrative, therefore, had to be hostile to the unaccepting, educational for the ignorant, and validating to the vulnerable. Getting to play in a world where people are referred to as nonbinary (just like me) and where people use they/them pronouns (just like me) and where no one ridicules or attacks them specifically for this? It felt comfortable and safe and the world was ending in the game, but I felt a personal empowerment in my immersion.
More complex and nuanced discussions by characters about their queer identity add to the picture. It shouldn't be in every work because every author has their own angle and their own philosophy about it, but they have just as much a right to a seat at the table. You can have your fics where Tony Stark's sexuality is a smirk and a wink, and you can have your fics where he explains that he used to call himself bisexual but the world is bigger and weirder so he considers himself omnisexual now. And if you don't like that, scroll past it. The author didn't write it for you, but someone else needs to hear that.
Maybe this is just a personal vent that escaped containment, but I feel the need to remind some folks that some people need the LGBT center brochure version because they didn't get one in the mail. It's a tough time for everyone in this community, no need to make it tougher.
he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure
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ninadove · 20 hours ago
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And because I now have fancy new tags to put to good use…
Thoughts on Miraculous S6 E2: The Illustrhater 🎨
Please note that this is a salt-free space. I do not want to see even a grain of salt in my notes. You will be blocked on sight. Cool? Cool. (And even if it’s not cool with you… well… blocked on sight… so…)
First things first: the new animation style is actually really cute and works really well in context! Chat in particular looks great, contrary to what that first promotional poster made us fear. Adrien as a civilian might be the one who suffered most, probably because of the hairstyle change… It will need some getting used to, but overall, I like what I’ve seen so far. So much love and care was put into the smallest details, like the sparkles on Mari’s tights!
Special mention:
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SHE HAS SPIKES????? LITTLE HAIR SPIKES????? IN HER HAIR????? AND DRAGON SCALES????? AND SLIT PUPILS????? AND HER SUIT LAYS EVEN MORE INTO THE ASYMETRIC VIBE, HIGHLIGHTING HOW MUCH INDEPENDENCE SHE GAINED AND HOW COMFORTABLE SHE IS WITHOUT THE PRESSURE OF BEING PERFECT ALL THE TIME????? AND SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY????? LIKE SHE’S HAVING SO MUCH FUN????? LIKE SOMEONE IN HER LIFE HAS BEEN A GOOD INFLUENCE MAYBE????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺
… Apologies, I seem to have lost the plot for a minute. Where was I?
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Oh, yeah. If one thing is clear from this first look at S6, it’s that Marinette’s secrets will catch up to her at some point. The writers lay it on thick in both Alyanette scenes and with the “Even as superheroes, they share everything” DJWiFi/Love Square contrast! It’s not exactly a surprise, but with how many people claimed we would never hear a single word about the Agreste plotline again, I feel somewhat… vindicated.
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Marinette not knowing how to act around Adrien actually makes a lot of sense to me? She’s had to be his rock through his grieving process, meaning she has functionally not left Ladybug Mode since the end of S5. Of course when she gets a chance to chill and actually do regular couple things, she gets terribly scared! Seeing her trying to imitate other couples was so funny and cute… Did you know I love her… And Adrien was such a wet cold lost kitten through it all… Did you know I love him…
That being said, this felt like an Alyanette episode first and an OT4 episode second. I loved seeing these four work as a group again! Nino was simply too precious and I loved Adrinette “““covering up””” for Renapace. Rena grabbed Ladybug’s hand for their little manoeuvre like it was second nature to her, which is very reminiscent of Bumbleby from RWBY, aka the Sapphic Battle Couple!
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(And that Chekov’s gun… I’m sure we’ve all seen Chekov’s gun…… We shall not mention it yet……… It’s there and we know where it’s headed…………)
But of course. Of course. The character who shone the brightest in this episode? Was Lila.
It’s clear from the get-go how different she is from Monarch!!! Smarter, more manipulative, but perhaps also… more compassionate, in a twisted way…? She gives her victims the illusion of choice (“Only if you agree, of course” // “And what shall I call you?”), making herself small when she first approaches them only to reveal her full size when the magic takes over.
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AND YET it seems to me she must know pain intimately to leverage it so well… Really makes you ponder the Manon theory, especially when comparing Illustrhater and Puppeteer’s costumes…
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Another key difference with Gabriel is that she is on the field, constantly observing and taking notes, which is extremely scary but also exposes her to more risks. I’m very curious to learn more about this chameleon magic of hers and what she means by “you’ll know nothing about me, about us, bout them”… She seems to think of herself as the center of a web, a spider rather than a butterfly, if you will!
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(Also, the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the Diabolo menthe reference was intentional!)
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cloud-somersault · 1 year ago
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idk man, the epilogue is like this really deep...exploration of interpersonal connections and wants and desires interlaced with the complexity of circumstance and consequence and regret and guilt. and I started it as a like "haha, this is what I want! I want two monkeys being gay, haha!"
but it's so. fucking tragic, actually.
just in chapter 1, we see how defeated Macaque is, how lost he is. how he hesitates and flip flops constantly. how he says or thinks something with certainty, but then goes back on that. he tries so hard to commit to one path, but he truly is fluctuating and has no clue what to do
and wukong is just...certain of himself. he's certain of his wants and desires now after Constellations. He wants to maintain connections and put in the effort no matter what. and that..juxtaposition of them...is just so raw and hurtful in chapter 1 because we see that wukong notices that in Macaque because he knows him better than anyone.
And Macaque admits he's a little lost. he doesn't know what he wants. but he keeps walking. he wants to make his own choices. he wants to think for himself. he wants to see the truth for himself.
and as the days go by, as the weeks and months pass...as they grow and change, it's just sad. because it's not
the epilogue is not this "will they? won't they?" shadowpeach thing.
look at them as individuals. that's why i finally decided to change the perspective. because we needed to see macaque's thoughts. I've shown you wukong's; please give macaque that same level of attention.
when people write romance or relationships, they often misstep when it comes to the characters that are in the relationship. in order for that relationship to be believable and relatable and enjoyed by the audience, you have to develop the characters independently and together.
we cannot have shadowpeach until we know, with certainty, who macaque and wukong are.
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unordinaries · 7 months ago
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presented without comment
(chapters 280 + 344)
#unordinary#unordinary webtoon#cw blood#i fucking lied i have so many comments#FIRST AND FOREMOST. i originally had the images in the opposite order (meaning john’s on the left and rei’s on the right)#when i was drafting this post. but then i was like. ‘oh i should put them in chapter/chronological order instead’ and it oh my god#uru you bastard that’s so much worse#(and then ofc i had to rewrite my tags accordingly)#but anyways#like literally almost everything about these scenes is mirrored/opposite#obviously they are facing different directions (and thus. each other)#they are also looking at different places in the second panel - rei is looking up and john is looking down#rei is looking up directly at kuyo. yes. but his raised head also makes him look a bit defiant. his kind of smirk also adds to that feel#he’s obviously not… happy. he’s been through a lot (is literally about to die) but his spirit remains.#there’s still light in his eyes. hope.#and he still finds the time to tell kuyo to call it quits and give him well wishes#then we have john’s half which is. ough.#and uhh cw suicidal ideation from this point on i guess?#looking down! no light in his eyes! defeated and dragging himself to the finish line!#alone.#he’s still fighting but he’s TIRED. absolutely nothing to look forward to here.#keep going because there’s no turning back now#he is doing this for the people he’s already lost (jane william sera). not for people who are here now (blyke remi isen)#rei didn’t go into this thinking he would die but ended up choosing to sacrifice himself anyways#john went in with the intention of sacrificing himself and survived anyways#i could be reading too far into it but i think you can kind of see that in their expressions in the first image set#rei looks like he’s realizing he’s about to die but john just looks like he’s fighting#he’s already made his choice#that’s about all i got (and i’m at the tag limit) so.#to everybody who hated my john-william comparison post this one’s for YOU 🫵
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slitheringghost · 8 hours ago
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I think this post is missing the point that it's specifically Lily that Voldemort is terrified of, not James, because Lily is the woman who vanquished him. Voldemort in fact speaks of this very extensively in this scene:
“You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father,” he hissed softly. “A Muggle and a fool . . . very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child . . . and I killed my father, and see how useful he has proved himself, in death. . . .” “You all know that on the night I lost my powers and my body, I tried to kill him. His mother died in the attempt to save him — and unwittingly provided him with a protection I admit I had not foreseen. . . . I could not touch the boy.” “I miscalculated, my friends, I admit it. My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah . . . pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it. I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost . . . ” “I wanted the blood of the one who had stripped me of power thirteen years ago . . . for the lingering protection his mother once gave him would then reside in my veins too. . . ." “Harry Potter escaped me by a lucky chance. And I am now going to prove my power by killing him, here and now, in front of you all, when there is no Dumbledore to help him, and no mother to die for him.”
Voldemort was blown up and nearly killed by Lily in an extremely painful way, was nothing but a powerless wraith for 13 years because of it, she's already protected Harry once from beyond the grave in PS, and then when Voldemort has finally regained a body and tries to kill Harry again, suddenly Lily's ghost inexplicably comes out of his wand? Of course he's terrified. Voldemort says "there's no mother to die for him" this time... and then said mother appears.
This is reiterated in the fact that this was the original version of Priori Incantatem, before the editors changed it, and so it's truer to JKR's intention:
“Your mother’s coming…” he said quietly. “She wants to see you… it will be all right… hold on…” And she came… first her head, then her body… a young woman with long hair, the smoky, shadowy form of Lily Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like her husband. She walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and she spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear... “When the connection is broken, we will linger for only moments... but we will give you time... you must get to the Portkey, it will return you to Hogwarts... do you understand, Harry?”
Harry described how the figures that had emerged from the wand had prowled the edges of the golden web, how Voldemort had seemed to fear them, how the shadow of Harry’s mother had told him what to do, how Cedric’s had made its final request.
There's also a lot of important symbolism around Lily specifically in this scene - I've elaborated on that here (section 2.1) and here.
The significance of the Voldemort - Lily connection is highlighted in several additional ways in this scene, including the fact that Voldemort brings up Lily in the middle of when he says “Who will be brave enough to return when they feel it?” and “Listen to me, reliving family history. My true family returns”… and then Lily's ghost returns. Because Voldemort and Lily are portrayed as familial, as brother and sister, exactly the way Harry and Voldemort are "brothers" - you can read about this more here.
“And he came… first his head, then his body, tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky shadowy form of James Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like his wife. He walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear…”
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Priori Incantatem, pg. 667
I need to talk about this quote. We never talk about this enough. Prior to this, Voldemort only shows shock. But after James and Lily Potter arrive, Voldemort shows fear. The only wizard Voldemort is truly known to fear is Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards ever to live, yet the arrival of the Potters strikes fear in him.
I think this speaks to how powerful the Potters truly were. Not only were they able to defy him three times and live, while most wizards couldn’t manage to do it once, even after he killed them, Voldemort is still wary of James and Lily Potter. There’s a reason that he asked both James and Lily to join him, despite being young and blood-traitor/Muggle-born. There’s a reason Voldemort had Peter spying for over a year before he made his move. There’s a reason that Voldemort specifically chose the moment where they were the most relaxed, and therefore the most vulnerable, to attack. There’s a reason he did not dally and torture the Potters, though he probably would have got a sense of satisfaction out of it, with how much they’d defied him. 
Because Voldemort believed, in my opinion, that James and Lily Potter could pose a threat to him in a fair fight. If they’d had their wands or a chance to prepare, or even a few more seconds to come up with a plan of escape, it would have been a very different battle in Godric’s Hollow. Voldemort did not just fear Harry Potter, ‘the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,’ Voldemort feared his parents, and what they would do to keep him safe.
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fisheito · 7 months ago
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i am still sulking about no aster. (give me a few days and a couple watermelons and i'll be back to normal)
#i was one of the people who (after the reveal) fell to their knees in the burger king parking lot. maybe even wailed skyward for a smidge#my petty side says the silhouette tease and tagline HAD to have been intentional to get us to think of aster#my rational side says that they probably did not think that hard about it#and NO they are NOT intentionally bullying familiar fans and feeding off their betrayed tears /... i hope 😂#no ears and tail.... twink who gets burnt.... WHAT WE COULD HAVE HAD....#me 1: don't you like garu? what's the problem?#me 2: i'm CONFLICTED ok. i can like the char but still feel BITTERLY DESTROYED ABOUT LOST POTENTIAL#I NEEEED THE TRANSGRESSIOnS. THE BREAKS IN THE PATTERNS!!!!#oh if we had a familiar treated as a clan member. an aster dante quincy banner. unbelievable. the comedy of it all#i mean. at least this trio is a new combo. AND they haven't been in summer banners before...?#er. summer banners likE THIS. with the beachwear and stuff.#gaAAAHHH but tthe fact that they made it garu#MEANS THAT WIPES OUT ANY IMMINENT DREAMS OF MY TRIPLE YOKAI EVENT#aaaaaahhh. i see. THAT's what this is about#what? like they're gonna suddenly break the pattern and have an event that's JUST yakumo and kuya?#please. we have seen by now that no molds shall be broken. *pathetic sniff*#i guess we'll just keep doing the same top-bottom pairs forever...#and certain characters will never get to mingle with others because they've been SORTED#into HOLE FILLER and HOLE FILLED-EE#*rolls around on the floor in a melodramatic whiny flopfest*#LET THEM ALL ROAM FREE RAAAAAAAAAAANGE
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sysig · 16 days ago
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Physical media is forever (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Vent#I'm trying to remember the last time I made a fandom vent rather than my sona.... Probably Vargas-something#*continues to project onto Max* He really is just like me fr#Probably pretty obvious what this is in reference to - turned a bit more malicious and intentional here#Something something it's easier to be angry at a source of intention than to be sad about coincidental bad luck#I'm not about to be thankful for a bad thing happening but the fallout thereof Is interesting in its own right#Like how this probably wouldn't have crossed my mind elsewise - nor would I have started and finished it all in one big sprint#Not much else I could do except get some of the feelings Out#Ft. some of the thoughts I had - self arguments to try to minimize(?) the hurt#Especially of just recreating it since so much of it was my thoughts - Max's dreams are just his subconscious right? Haha#But when you build something over the course of years there's these subtle builds that divorce Then from Now#Not to mention whatever stimuli at the time - if Max's life coincided with specific dreams and both are never repeated#One thing that I think about a lot - ironically haha - is that you only get to experience A Thing for the first time Once#You are then forever changed even if just in some small way - an action that can never be unactioned#Even otherwise recreating the perfect set of circumstances just won't produce the same outcome#It all threads into my thoughts on Legacy as well - if what we leave behind ceases to be - if our butterfly wings are blown out#It could happen at any point - posthumously or while we're still here - and how much does that change in the long run?#It's an interestingly depressing thought haha#It's also part of why I double down on art so so so much - a language that cuts to the core of me#Every picture worth 1000 words - hopefully enough to make up for however many lost (I did a rough estimate and it would've been ~380k)#Somewhere in there are the feelings that lost their voice - were big and loud enough to immortalize in graphite on paper#Scanned and uploaded and maybe even downloaded elsewhere in the world - preserved fourfold in a way a single file on a single computer isn't#Even if one is destroyed it's somewhere else; the danger of only having one copy a kind of trust in program or physicality but no guarantee#Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts - also part of why I tag to tag limit so often I want them saved somewhere outside myself#Seems silly to talk about the art too but I have thoughts there as well haha - like of Madame Vyer asking for Dex's lighter#Dex holding Max back - to protect him from the damage while forcing him to confront it cruelty cruelty
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longmaxsilvarg · 5 months ago
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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together
#she's not the best person ever#but no one is#and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions#like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration#but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great#n don't bother to wonder what got her there#the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness#and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper#but i GET IT#putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional#not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny#n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like#why did i try so hard just to end up alone#like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14#she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but#it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you#even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish#SO#i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like#i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore#she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her#i'd be fuckin insane too#girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore#there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from#n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance#to live her life and find happiness again#life is strange#chloe price
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zepskies · 1 day ago
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Aww thank you, lovely friend!! 🥹💕 I tried my best to end this series with a bang lol, but also in a hopefully satisfying way that ties up the most important loose ends. I canNOT wait to dive into your thoughts on the grand finale!!
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well, what a start! the action scenes were playing so vividly in my head, i loved all the details <3 and mato being a good son-in-law! love to see it 🤣
Ooh I'm so glad the action was gripping and vivid enough for you!! I don't love writing action scenes because it can be a lot of moving parts, but I try my best to make sure certain details stick out. And yesss Mato is on his A game now actually working with Dean! loll
felt a variety of emotions with this lol. sammy!!! i had a feeling he'd hear the commotion, so glad he's back!💓 (by now i think i've established my love for sam pretty well. 😂) i felt a bit confused too because cas what are you doinggg 😩 hopefully playing chess or something. 🤔 and it makes me sad that sam lost his hat, but his horse!!🥺 i'm not sure if it was his personal horse (like dean's baby) or not, however they shared a journey together :') wherever he ended up, i hope he's alright 💕
Oh I don't blame you loll. 😅 The "wtf?!" feeling with Cas was very intentional, even with the "yay!" of Sam being back in the game (even though he lost his hat and horse 🥲). But your instincts are right -- both of them were definitely playing chess on that one. I'm actually glad you wondered if it was Sam's personal horse because it's a thought I had and wondered if I should include that detail. In my head it wasn't his personal horse, but like you said, still a horse he shared a journey with. 💙 Though I also didn't specify this in the chapter, Cas/the soldiers took possession of Sam's horse, but he got him back afterwards (in the aftermath of it all).
phew 😅 also i cannot stop picturing the colonel from kfc every time sanderson gets mentioned 😭 white suit and all, the image won't leave my head loll
ahahaha yesss that's exactly what I was picturing, with Asmodeus's punk ass. 😂😂
absolutely beautiful <3 may he rest peacefully :(
Aw thank you for highlighting that line and Tahatan's dying words -- def one of my favorite lines for this entire series honestly.
i still don't like him but i will admit, this made me chuckle a little 😂 i really feel for mila and her people. it's just so unfair to be uprooted from your home like that :( and of course that grimy gremlin would go back on his word. the anxiety of it all 😩
Otaktay's redemption arc is slow on this one lol but I liked giving him that throwaway line. 😂
Oh yes, I drew historically from the "Trail of Tears" in American history, where the Native Americans/Indians were forced from their lands and they had to travel onwards to find new territory. It's a dark time that tends to be glossed over.
Yuuup gotta have our "bad guy goes back on his word" moment! 😅 If you've ever seen the movie Prince of Egypt, it's like that moment when the Jews are being chased after by the Pharaoh Rameses after he initially released them from slavery.
awwwww hell yeah i know that's right dean!!!😭🤍
hahaa YES! Dean's made his choice. 😌
ah yes that delicious pre-established relationship danger and peril angst, my hearttt 🥺 i love them sm<3
That moment where there's no time for goodbye, knowing you mind not see your loved one again. 🥲
i will admit this made me giggle 😭 I'm so sorry dean lmaoo :') the fight scenes were so cool though!! again, very vivid in my mind. didn't expect the otaktay save, but i'm glad he's gained some sense. and oh jack, i am glad he was spared but he fr just needs to distance himself from the colonel and his bs 🤠
ahaha I thought it was kinda funny too, ngl. 😂 Aw yay!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the fight scenes and that they felt vivid in your mind! Otaktay did step up, didn't he? Some new respect is brewing between him and Dean (finally), and you're very right loll. Jack just needs to go home and start a new life. Same with Cas and Benny tbh. 🥲
this was so cute 🥺 i was worried for her, but once again we see she's just as strong as she is stubborn loll
Oh yeah, Mila's still as tenacious and stubborn as ever! lol Pregnant ladies still kick ass, amirite? 😘
period benny. goodbyeeeeee and good riddance colonel 💅🏽 Šóta choosing peace was so mature of him, i'm glad he's not being so hotheaded anymore. completely understandable though given all that has happened.
Right?!! 😂 Begone, bitch~
And Šóta is finally maturing -- his father's death hit him hard, and he's learning what it takes to be a true leader. 💜
crying. just the sweetestttt 💞💞 to no one's surprise, i'm so glad sam decided to stay longer 🤣💗 given the circumstances i'm not sure how often he would be able to visit once he returns to his city civilian life, but at least for now he gets to spend time with his brother and good people -- family :3💘
Sam wants to stay with his bro as long as possible now that he's found him, especially for his nephew's birth. 🥹 And for that reason too (not knowing if he'll be able to visit again, or if so, how often). Family indeed! 💞💞
this had me meltinggggg 💓 they're going to be the sweetest parents. they're already so sweet to each other, i can't 🥺
You know, I did intend to stop here with Mila and Dean, but maaaaybe I'll have to come back to see how they're doing as parents and pillars of their tribe. 😏💓
sobbing. i love them so much, this was the most beautiful ending 💕 another wonderful series zep!!🤍:)
Omg thank you so much, Julia!! You don't know how wonderful it's been to get your support on this very niche little series that I didn't know if anyone would even want to read. 🥹 I always appreciate your input, but especially on The Honorable Choice/Outlander series. 💕
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Outlander - Part 4
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC 
Summary: Dean Winchester has been stripped of his military rank, but he’s living happier with his new wife, trying to adjust to a new life in her tribe. What will it take for her people to accept him, especially when the battle for her heart might not be completely won? 
AN: Happy Birthday, Dean Winchester!! 🥳 Now, the actual grand finale…
Disclaimer: I first got inspired to write The Honorable Choice for @jacklesversebingo after a recent rewatch of Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron (with a tinge of Yellowstone in the mix). I’ve done a fair bit of research for this now ongoing series, both on the Native American Lakota tribe, and on American history during this time in the late 1800s; AKA: the Old West, during the American Indian Wars.
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Western AU
Song Inspo: The Spirit Soundtrack
Word Count: 6K
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Protective Dean, survival situations, blood and violence, angst, fluff, and spice.~
🐎 Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist
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Part 4: One People
Dean straps on his bow and arrow, but first he takes up his gun from his thigh holster. Then he saddles up Mato and climbs up on his back.
The horse is raring to go, and for once he responds to the firmness of Dean’s tone and trusts him enough to obey his commands.
Šóta, Otaktay, and the other men do the same with their horses. Soon, they’re thundering down the hill into the village.
It’s already chaos.
Dean recognizes the blue uniforms of the U.S. Cavalrymen tearing through tipis and shooting with rifles and revolvers. They must’ve tracked Šóta and his men back to the village.
Men and horses are the main targets, but women and children are getting caught in the crossfire. Šóta purposefully knocks his horse into an officer who had his weapon aimed at Misae and her two daughters. Otaktay guides them in the opposite direction, pointing the way to escape into the forest.
Dean rides onward through the village. He and Mato leap over fallen bodies and horses, and Dean shoots at an officer who would’ve shot him first. He has to be careful with his bullets though. He only has two left.
He fights his way to the center, all the while searching for any sight of Mila’s dark hair. It’s almost impossible to see with so many people running and screaming and fighting. But when he hears a familiar voice, Dean cuts to an abrupt stop.
Chief Tahatan rides his horse, white and dappled black. He wields an ax as the horse rears up on his hind legs and lets loose a powerful bray. Just ahead of him is Colonel Sanderson, flanked by Benny and another officer. The Colonel holds a rifle poised in his hands.
“Stop!” Dean shouts.
He rides hard towards the scene. He takes aim with his gun, and he shoots. The bullet clips Sanderson in the shoulder. Yelling in pain, he recoils from the force of the bullet and misses his shot.
Dean’s just not fast enough.
The Colonel’s bullet ricochets off the ground and hits Tahatan’s horse. The animal whinnies and buckles, and he brings Tahatan down along with him, rolling onto his side and crushing the Chief’s legs and most of his torso under the horse’s weight. Dean hears the crunch of bone as the Chief utters a stifled grunt.
Gritting his teeth, Dean brings Mato to a short stop in front of the Chief. Dean aims his gun at the Colonel. By now, the man is clutching his bleeding shoulder and staring at his former captain in disbelief. Benny is maybe a little less shocked to see Dean, but there’s conflict in his eyes—happiness mixed with turmoil.
The other officer is Jack Kline. He recognizes Dean too, with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.
“You…” Sanderson trails. He blinks, his brows furrowing. “Dean Winchester.”
Other officers come to join him, both on their horses and on foot. A few of them have wrangled women and their children, along with a few men. One man is dragging Mila along by the arm, even though she pulls and struggles against his hold. He has a long, jagged cut over one closed eye that streams with blood, and Dean doesn’t have to wonder how it got there. The man holds Mila’s own knife to her throat.
Dean’s heart falls into his stomach as he meets her gaze. Hers is angry, until she finds him. Her brown eyes are relieved and hopeful, but then worried for him. Dean reads it all there. He knows her face as well as he knows his own.
“Now this is what we call an interesting development,” Sanderson says, dragging Dean’s attention back to him.
Dean only feels moderately better when Šóta, Otaktay, Chatan, and a couple of the other men come to flank him on either side. Weaya manages to shuffle away from the officer at her back, just to go to Tahatan. He’s still lying there under his horse, breathing shallowly. Šóta itches to climb down from his horse and go to his father, but he can’t allow Dean to stand on his own.
“Apparently your death has been greatly exaggerated, son,” Sanderson says. He glances at Benny, who wears a grim, guilty frown.
“I’m not your fucking son,” Dean says, his voice laden with grit. His hand tightens on his raised gun.
Sanderson tsks at him while Jack wraps a rag tightly around his arm to help stem the bleeding. Afterwards, he adjusts his blue jacket and his Stetson.
“Is this really how you’ve been living for all these months? Like a dog, sleeping in the thatch with the fleas,” he remarks as he glances around. But his gaze stops on Mila. His brows crunch together as recognition dawns in his eyes.
“Ah, now I see why,” he says. He reaches for his pistol at his belt and points it at Mila, like it’s merely an extension of his hand. Dean’s jaw clenches. Chatan and Šóta become even more tense; their horses shift in place, picking up on their riders’ unrest. Sanderson notes their reactions, and finally Dean’s too.
“Instead of putting this savage bitch down, you took her for yourself, didn’t you?” Sanderson wonders aloud. His face breaks into amusement, as his deep chuckle echoes in the clearing. “You threw it all away. A promising career, your respect as a man, and even your life. A traitor to your goddamn country. And for what?”
His thumb pulls back the safety on his revolver.
“Enough, you bastard. You deal with me,” Dean tersely demands. He slowly lowers his gun, and his last bullet. “Let her go. Let them all go, and you can have me. Court martial me. Hell, put me in front of a firing squad, or put me down like a dog if that’s what you want… But let them go.” 
Mila breaths in sharply. She stares at Dean like she wants to protest.
“Ah, but ya see, I didn’t come here for you,” Sanderson says. Without taking his aim off Mila, his shifts his gaze down to Tahatan, who struggles for every breath. “I’m gonna wash this land clean, from here to the West Coast. However long it takes.”
“Colonel!” an officer calls out. He approaches on a horse, though he leads a man by a rope that ties his wrists behind his back.
Dean’s eyes widen in shock. It’s Cas, and he has Sam as his captive. Sam is dirtier and more disheveled since Dean saw him off not too long ago. He’s lost his hat and his horse, but he doesn’t look afraid when he meets Dean’s gaze, then the assessing Colonel.
“Mr. Winchester. I should’ve known,” Sanderson says dryly. “Here to reacquaint yourself with your brother? Though I’ve got a feeling you already have.”
“What’re you gonna do about it? Kill me?” Sam says. “In case you’ve forgotten, I work for the government too. I’m a prosecutor for all the surrounding counties in Kansas City.”
Sanderson raises a brow. “Is that supposed to intimidate me, son?”
“It should, Colonel,” Sam says. He nods at his brother. “The world already thinks he’s dead. Fine. But there’s plenty of people who know I traveled to Fort Laramie. People high up in the chain of command. If you hurt me, my brother, or these people, someone’s gonna hear about it. And soon.”
“He’s got a point there, Colonel,” Benny says.
“You shut the fuck up!” Sanderson barks at his captain. “You’re lucky I don’t shoot you down where you stand. You and Novak. But believe you me, I’ll be dealin’ with you later.”
Sanderson continues to seethe. He thinks hard about the decision he makes next as he stares down at Sam, and then back up at Dean. He grits his teeth, his mustache twitching. Dean holds his breath, though he briefly meets eyes with his brother.
Slowly, Sanderson lowers his weapon away from Mila. Dean can breathe again, if shallowly. He doesn’t drop his guard though. In fact, he watches Sanderson even closer.
“I’ll give you dirty mongrels one hour to clear out of here,” Sanderson says, his eyes narrowed. “Anything left gets tied down and burned to charcoal.”
With that, he sharply tugs on his horse’s reins. He commands his men to fall back, and like the soldiers they are, they obey. Benny and Cas both cast Dean a backwards glance—one that tells Dean that he still has the loyalty of his friends. He now realizes that Cas brought Sam back for a purpose; it wasn’t to hurt him, but to help him. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if the whole “capture” was Sam’s idea.
After the soldiers clear out of the area with the Colonel, Dean and the other men dismount from their horses. He beelines for Mila, gathering her into the safety of his arms. Then he spares a hand to grab his brother’s shoulder as he smiles.
“I think I’m more glad to see you the second time,” Dean remarks.
“I’ll take that,” Sam says. His grin is infectious, but Dean returns his attention to his wife. He touches her cheek and runs his assessing gaze over her body. He frowns as he examines the thin cut along her neck where the soldier pressed the blade of her knife.
“You okay? Are you hurt?” he asks.
Mila shakes her head. “I’m fine.” Though she inspects him the same way with a wandering hand across his chest. Dean takes that hand and gives her a reassuring smile.
It falls when he hears Weaya crying. She sits beside three other women, including Šóta’s mother.
“Father,” Šóta says lowly. His voice is a rasp as he kneels beside Tahatan’s broken body, holding his hand. The chief manages to raise his head slightly. He looks at his son, and then his gaze travels. Eventually, it falls on Dean.
Tahatan smiles.
“Under this sky,” he says. “We are one people.”
 He takes three more labored breaths before his eyes close. Šóta lays his father’s limp hand over his chest, which no longer moves.
Šóta’s mother gently raises her husband’s head to remove his long headdress. Among other things, it’s made of leather, glass beads, horsehair, and eagle tail feathers. Each feather represents a warrior’s honor earned in war, like a soldier’s insignia. 
With shaking hands, she places it on Šóta’s head. He takes a deep breath, and he looks up at the many tear-stained faces that mirror his own.
“We have to go,” he says.
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Sam stays to help mobilize the tribe. He helps a mother join her children into one of the caravans, then he and Otaktay heft rolled up tipis and supplies into the back of it.
“You are a law man?” Otaktay asks him.
Sam nods. “That’s right.”
“Make better laws,” Otaktay says, and walks away.
Sam is left with a bemused look on his face. Dean comes over and thumps him on the back.
“Making friends?” he says dryly.
“Don’t think so,” Sam replies. He shakes his head and follows his brother over to the second caravan.
“Eh, consider yourself lucky. That guy pretty much hates my guts,” Dean whispers.
Sam raises his brows. “What?”
Dean explains the story in its simplest, briefest terms. Meanwhile, the mood around their packing is somber and quiet.
For Mila, it feels wrong. It’s wrong for them to have to leave the river where they’ve tilled and nurtured the land for three generations. It’s wrong to leave Chief Tahatan’s body wrapped beside Takoda’s on the hill without at least one proper night of mourning. She feels her grief down to her very core, but all she can do is sit in the caravan beside her mother and hold protective hands around the small swell of her stomach. Her tears fall silently down her cheeks and dissolve between the indigo beads on her dress.
She only raises her head when Chatan comes to check on her and her mother. He touches Mila’s cheek, drying her tears there. He leans in to kiss Weaya’s hand.
“We leave soon,” he says.
“Where is Dean?” Mila asks.
“Helping Šóta,” Chatan replies, but he stops short and corrects himself. “He helps our Chief.”
A few moments later, the caravans begin to move as the horses pull with the reins. Šóta leads at the front with a few of the warriors, but the rest of them ride strategically around and behind the caravans. Sam and Dean fall back to ride beside Mila’s caravan, where Chatan sits at the helm. Sam has been given the horse of a fallen warrior, while Dean rides Mato.
Despite how low she feels, Mila smiles at the sight of her horse allowing Dean to ride him, even with a saddle and bridle.
“Mato is being agreeable,” she remarks.
“You sound surprised,” Dean says, teasing slightly. “Told you I’d get him to trust me eventually.”
“More like wear him down,” she quips back.
“Hey, he impregnated my mare. Without my say so, I might add. I’d say we’re proper father and son-in-law.”
“Yes,” Chatan chimes in wryly. “That is what that means.”
Mila scoffs at him, but the gleam of good humor in his eyes amuses her. She smiles as she rubs a hand over her belly. Dean smiles too. It’s strange that he can still do that after a night like tonight, but seeing Chatan do it, along with Sam, and Mila, and her mother too, it gives him hope for them—for all of them.
Until the first gunshot fires into the air.
Dean freezes. His body coils tight, and he turns to look sharply over his shoulder.
He shouldn’t be surprised that Colonel Sanderson went back on his word. His cavalrymen are gaining behind them on horseback, hooting and hollering like it’s a game for sport. His jaw clenching in both anger and determination, Dean tells Chatan to speed up the caravan. He locks eyes with Mila for a moment.
Be safe, he tries to say with that look.
Then he gives Sam a nod; together they speed up to alert Šóta at the front.
“They’re gaining on us,” Dean says, gesturing behind them. “We need to lead them away from the caravans and pick ‘em off—as many as we can.”
Šóta nods in grim agreement, but he has a moment of hesitation as he considers Dean.
“You go with the caravans,” he says.
Dean shakes his head. “No, I’m ending this. Once and for all.”
“You are willing to fight your people?” Šóta asks.
The set of Dean’s determined face doesn’t change.
“I’m protecting my people,” he says. He looks to Sam. “Stay with the caravans. Make sure they get across the river.”
Sam agrees, and the men split ways. Dean turns Mato away from the group along with Šóta and Otaktay, and a few other warriors. The caravans continue with Sam to help guide them. Mila clings to the edge and watches with growing dread as her husband rides farther and farther away from her.
Dean can’t allow himself to look back. Instead of drawing his gun, he reaches for his bow strapped to his back and an arrow from his quiver. He takes aim at the first soldier he sees raise his gun, along with a steadying breath, and he shoots his arrow before the other man can fire. The arrow embeds itself in the man’s chest and knocks him clean off his horse.
Šóta and Otaktay follow suit. They shout out yips and battle cries on the air as they take aim. The soldiers begin to scatter out of their formation. They weren’t expecting the Lakota to go on the offensive. Sanderson has conveniently let his men ride ahead of him, but Dean hears him giving the orders from behind. The Colonel has his left arm wrapped in a sling while he holds his gun aloft.
“All right, mustang,” Dean says to Mato, tightening his hands on the reins. “Remind ‘em why they should be scared a’ you.”
He gives the stallion a subtle kick. It’s just enough for him to pick up into a full gallop. Dean tucks his head down and lets the horse speed forward like a bullet carving across the plain. The soldiers take aim, but that’s when Šóta and Otaktay join in from behind. They begin to take down the uniformed men, one by one as they weave between bullets. 
Dean tears between two officers and unbalances them. Mato, with his big head and chest, bulldozes straight through them. They shout in surprise and fear, and one of them even topples off his horse. Dean banks left and turns Mato around to finish what he started.
He retrieves his knife from his thigh holster and slices into one man’s neck, making him choke on his own blood. Dean forcefully takes the rifle off another man, and after flipping it around, hits him dead between the eyes with the butt of it—once, then twice until his nose breaks. He careens back off his horse into the dirt. Dean wracks the rifle and shoots the man for good measure.
The sound of a safety clicking back alerts him and turns his head, but he’s too late.
An arrow flies into the officer’s throat.
Dean looks over sharply. He finds Otaktay, lowering his bow.
Dean’s eyes widen. The other man just saved his life.
Dean nods in thanks, and Otaktay slowly returns the gesture. The moment is cut short, however, when Dean sharpens in alarm. Instead of opening his mouth to warn, he knows he has no time, not even to grab another arrow. He just throws his knife.
It carves through the air and hits Jack Kline where his arm meets his shoulder—his shooting arm that would’ve clipped Otaktay with his pistol. Jack falls off his horse and hits the ground hard, the air leaving his lungs in a hot rush. He groans in pain while clutching his arm. It’s not an easy wound, but he’ll live…as long as Otaktay doesn’t kill him first. Still on his horse, he towers over the younger man with another arrow notched.
“Wait!” Dean shouts.
He meant what he said about finishing this, but now looking at Jack, all Dean sees is a kid following orders. He doesn’t deserve to die like this, hundreds of miles away from home, just trying to make something of himself.
Otaktay looks up, wasting a precious second. Another beat, and a bullet tears into him, almost forcing him off his horse. Dean grits his teeth and speeds forward. Šóta rejoins them in time to help lead Otaktay away; he’s been hit in the side. There’s no telling how deep, but all Dean can focus on is the path ahead.
He comes face to face with Colonel Sanderson.
Dean raises his bow and arrow and ducks his head against another bullet, still shooting off his arrow. It misses its aim at the horse’s legs, but it spooks him enough to whinny in distress. It begins to buck off the Colonel.
“Whoa!” he shouts, trying to take back control of the horse. Dean rides in close and cracks a fist across Sanderson’s face. His head whips back with a pained grunt. Dean grabs his wrist and twists, until he feels tendons popping and the gun loosened from the other man’s hand. Then, Dean brings his elbow up into Sanderson’s nose and spills blood.
“Fuck!” Sanderson growls. He manages to land a punch of his own with his left arm, despite how it makes his shoulder bleed again. Dean recovers from the blow to his cheek and goes to grab that wound, digging in his fingers hard. He’s satisfied by the howl of pain Sanderson lets loose.
Dean doesn’t care if it’s a dirty tactic. He’s taking any opportunity he can, because right now, it’s not about his honor. It’s about protecting what’s his.
But Sanderson fights back just as dirty. He grabs Dean by the back of his neck and headbutts him, so hard he sees stars. Sanderson lands one more kick to Dean’s chest that almost sends him off of Mato. Dean has to grab on tight to the saddle and pull himself up, just in time for a lassoed rope to circle around his neck. Dean’s eyes fly wide in alarm. He slips his hand between the rope and his neck just in time before it tightens—because Sanderson tugs hard as he urges his horse into a gallop.
“Aw, sh—” Dean is yanked off Mato. He lands hard in the dirt, before he begins to be dragged across it.
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Once again, the current is strong across Little Cheyenne. The first caravan has more horses to pull it through, but the caravan that Chatan is trying to lead starts to take on water. Mila and her mother sit behind him, along with Misae and her daughters, Tahatan’s widows, and Eyota and her husband.
The colt is doing his best to keep going, but Baby and two of the other horses are struggling in the pull of the river. They’ve hit a deeper patch under the water, and now it’s all the way up to Baby’s chest. She can’t handle the weight of the caravan along with the river’s current.
Sam comes closer with rope in hand, but Mila can see in his eyes that he’s trying to decide what to do. She grasps the edge of the caravan to pull herself up, and she points to the black mare.
“She needs help!” she calls out to him.
“Mila, sit down!” Chatan orders.
Mila turns back to her father with a determined set to her face. She knows his ankle has never healed entirely right. If he tries to do what she’s about to do, he’d probably fall into the river and get trampled by the horses. She knows what she must do.
She carefully stands up all the way and moves to the edge of the caravan, ignoring her father and mother trying to stop her. Sam’s eyes grow wide, but he tries to come in closer to support her. She steps out onto Baby’s back and slides into an astride position. The frigid water climbs up Mila’s dress and reaches her waist, making her shiver, but she ignores that too. She reaches out for Sam.
“Throw me the rope!” she calls out.
Sam follows her lead and does what she says. Mila not only catches the rope, but loops the ends of it around Baby’s bridle and around her chest. It’s hard work, especially because Mila has to tread water just to get the rope around the mare’s wide chest, but Sam helps her as much as he can.
When they’ve finished securing the ropes, Sam pulls ahead. With his horse leading Baby, she gets the momentum she needs to climb out of the dip, and eventually, cross the rest of the river.
Mila is sopping wet by the time they make it to the other side. Her braid has come loose, and so her hair becomes a black curtain around her face. She clings to Baby as she catches her breath, stroking the horse’s neck.
“Good girl. Big, strong girl,” she soothes. “Your father will be proud of you.”
Speaking of, Mila turns to look back. Across the river, the men are still fighting off the soldiers that sought to finish what they started last night. Mila scans with narrowed eyes for Dean.
“You all right?” Sam asks. He sidles up next to her and grasps her shoulder to make sure.
“Fine,” she breathes.
But she hesitates on a sharp inhale. Her brows furrow as she tries to make sure of what she’s seeing. Her mouth drops open in shock.
“Sam!” She points out the shape of a man she thinks is Dean. Sam follows her line of vision and becomes just as alarmed at what he sees.
Mila immediately takes her father’s knife from her shoe and cuts the ropes that bind Baby to the caravan. Mila puts her fingers to her lips and whistles sharply instead of kicking the mare. Baby sharpens to attention and heeds the command, just like she’s done for Dean a hundred times before.
Mila guides her back through the river.
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Dean is being road hauled across the plain. He hits every bump, rock, twig, and dry patch of dirt in several yards as he twists and struggles to break free.
He lost his knife to save Otaktay, and he’s probably lost all his arrows along with his bow. Dean grits his teeth, as he can hear Sanderson’s insane hooting and hollering on the wind whipping past his ears, and not much else.
He doesn’t know where Šóta is, or if even Otaktay’s still alive, but his last thoughts aren’t about them. Instinctively, he thinks of his wife. It’s not even a coherent thought. It’s just her name, her face, her hand on his heart.
And the rope snaps.
Dean grunts as his momentum slows. He rolls across the dirt and grass to a stop. He probably has road burns and cuts and bruises all down his back, but at least he can stare up at the morning sun and breathe.
Heaving for free air, he tugs the rope from around his neck and shoves it off. He hears familiar horse hooves galloping his way. Somehow, he manages to raise his head.
Now, either the sun is playing tricks on him, or a black shape is thundering towards him.
Apparently, his eyes aren’t lying to him. Baby slows to a stop, and Mila climbs down from her back. Mila rushes to his side and kneels beside him after putting away her knife. She takes his face into her gentle hands.
“Dean?” she says, her voice tinged with desperation.
He grabs onto her wrist and smiles weakly, looking up at her soulful brown eyes.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says.
She sighs and shakes her head, despite the tears in her eyes.
“Be quiet,” she laughs. Dean just grins.
She cups the back of his neck and guides him up slowly into a sitting position. His back is a bloody mess, but they’ll deal with that later.
“You all right, brother?”
Dean’s smile drops. He clutches at Mila’s arm protectively, but he looks up at Benny Lafitte. His horse shifts in place. Dean finally notices Sam is there too, with his gun trained on Benny. But Benny’s gun is raised right back at Sam.
They’re joined by Colonel Sanderson. He wears a self-satisfied look on his face as he approaches with his pistol held aloft.
“Well, well,” he drawls. “Ain’t this a picture. Traitors and savages.”
Mila keeps her back to the Colonel; she stubbornly defends Dean with her body, even though he’s gathered her to his chest protectively. With his right hand, he subtly reaches for the gun holster at his thigh. One last weapon. One last shot.
He shares a look with Mila, silently asking her to trust him. She gives him a subtle nod.
“Captain Lafitte,” Sanderson addresses Benny, even though his gaze is straight on Dean and Mila. He holds Sam in his periphery. “Now’s the time to take a stand. Are you gonna serve your country and put these three in the ground where they belong, or are you gonna join ‘em?”
Benny stares back at his superior officer. He thought he understood before, but today is when he truly understands why Dean made his choice.
Benny lowers his weapon down to his side.
“This ain’t the law,” he says. “This ain’t justice. It’s just pride, plain and simple. Your pride, Colonel.”
After a moment of genuine surprise, Sanderson rolls his eyes. He shifts his gun off of Sam and points it at Benny next.
A trigger fires, but the bullet that hits its mark is not the Colonel’s.
It’s Dean’s, and it hits Asmodeus Sanderson between the eyes.
Dean lowers his silver, smoking Colt down at his side, where Mila moved just in time for Dean to take his shot. He holds her to him now, taking in deep breaths.
Benny and Sam both look to Dean with shock still in their eyes, but before either of them can say anything, they notice Cas stumbling over on foot with a wounded Jack Kline leaning heavily on him. They’re flanked on both sides by Šóta and Otaktay. The latter has a cloth tied tight around his middle. His bullet wound just looks like a nasty graze.
The other warriors that remain follow behind, and they have Mato and Baby in tow by their bridles.
Dean realizes that Cas and Jack are the only other survivors from the rest of the unit. Šóta has taken them prisoner. He orders the other men to force Benny off of his horse. They shove him closer to Cas and Jack.
Dean quickly tries to raise up onto his knees, though it’s hard for him to stand. Mila helps him the rest of the way, and he keeps his arm wrapped around her shoulders.
“We will make an example of these,” Šóta says, nodding at Cas, Jack, and Benny. They look rightly nervous, shifting their gazes towards Dean.
Dean raises his hands to placate Šóta (and hopefully reassure his friends).
“Šóta, I know these guys. They were my men,” he says. “They were just following the Colonel’s orders.”
“And what does that mean to me, Dean Winchester?” Šóta says. He climbs down from his horse, his headdress of feathers tousled as a breeze rushes through.
“It means they won’t follow us,” Dean says. “They won’t tell the Army what actually happened here. They’ll keep their word if I ask them to. So I’m asking you…trust me. Trust me like you’ve trusted me before.”
Šóta seems to consider it, even though he doesn’t exactly like the idea. Otaktay seems to like it even less.
“We won’t betray you, Chief,” Benny says to Šóta, and to the other warriors. “We respect you, and we don’t want any more trouble. For us, or for Dean.”
Šóta considers this with a tilt of his head. Before he decides, first, he turns to Otaktay. Other than Dean, he’s now the man Šóta trusts most.
Otaktay looks over at Dean. Between them, there’s an understanding. Finally, there’s also respect. Otaktay returns his gaze to his leader, and he nods.
Šóta expels a deep breath. He addresses the three soldiers.
“Go. Go in peace, or next time, there will not be peace,” he says.
The soldiers breathe in relief.
Dean steps forward with Mila’s help. There he shakes each man’s hand. He’s said goodbye to Cas and Benny before, but somehow, this feels even more final than the last.
Benny and Cas are given back their horses. They help Jack up first, then Cas climbs up with him. Benny mounts his own horse, and Sam, Dean, and the Lakota watch them leave the way they came.
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It takes days to cross the plains and maneuver through the mountains, but Šóta leads the rest of the tribe to safety within Sioux territory. They find a place to settle along the Big Cheyenne River, northeast of the Black Hills.
There they will learn the land and what to plant and forage there for the late autumn harvest, as summer ends. There is where they will honor the dead who couldn’t make the journey. There is where their traditions will be celebrated, old and new.
Like today. The men have painted each other with blue circles around their faces and blue lines across their foreheads, chins, and cheekbones. The women are painted similarly in red. It symbolizes change in its many forms, but most of all, it symbolizes new relationships, and new responsibilities.
Today, it’s Huŋkápi. The Making of Relatives. This ceremony formally welcomes Dean into the tribe by marriage. It also recognizes Sam as his brother, and so, it acknowledges Sam as a friend to their tribe as well. They are now all family. One people.
Dean sits with his brother around the large firepit, where a roasted boar is already half-eaten. Dean has shared a lot of meals with these people, but somehow, this one is the best he’s ever eaten. Maybe it’s the company, he thinks, as he laughs at some old story Sam is trying to tell.
“No, no, no, that’s not what happened. Let me tell it—”
“What, so you can make stuff up?”
“Oh, I’m making stuff up?”
Mila giggles quietly, but it’s enough to earn Dean’s attention. She sits at his left, and he turns to her with an amused smile.
“What’re you laughing at?” he teases. His arm wraps around her waist and pulls her in.
“You,” she replies. “You and your brother. You’re worse than me and Šóta.”
Dean chuckles and shakes his head. He points over at her cousin, their esteemed Chief, who’s busy making shadow creatures with exaggerated voices to impress the kids. Right now, it’s a big grizzly bear that threatens to eat the closest child.
“Worse than the grizzly?” Dean says.
“Hmm, maybe not,” she says with a laugh.
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That evening, Dean is glad he convinced Sam to start sleeping in his own tipi. He agreed to stay until Mila has the baby, but while Dean is grateful to have his brother here for a few more months, he still wants some much-needed privacy with his wife.
He “helps” her undress for bed, all the while distracting her with lingering kisses across her neck and shoulders, winding his fingers into her long hair. He wraps his arms around her and cups her full breasts from behind, satisfied by the arousing way she moans.
“They’re heavier,” Dean whispers in her ear, gently squeezing her breasts. She hums in response. “Your thighs and hips are thicker too, nice and soft for me.” He squeezes those too for good measure.
“I am changing,” she admits. “Are they good changes?”
“Hell yeah,” Dean says, his lips moving against her throat. He gently turns her around and guides her down to lay on the bedding and furs. He palms at the best change of all—the growing swell of her belly. She’s gotten bigger, and growing a little more each week. Dean really wants to meet his kid.
He dips down to lay a path of slow, tender kisses down between her breasts, and over her belly. Mila smiles and threads her fingers through his hair. It’s getting long, brushing past his ears.
“Do you want a son, or a daughter?” she asks him. It’s not the first time she’s asked, but she wonders if his answer will change now, after everything they’ve gone through to get here. She finds that her own answer hasn’t changed.
Dean shakes his head. “I don’t care. Either one.”
All he wants is for the baby to be healthy, and for Mila to be healthy too. He moves back up to claim her lips. When he kisses her like this, he hopes she knows what he’s really saying. Just in case, he says it anyway. He says it out loud to her for the first time.
“I love you,” he says. He pauses, then smiles a little. “You know, you’re the only woman I’ve ever said that to.”
She smiles, because she knows. With her hand over his heart, she knows.
And when their son is born a few months later, she has a dream. She dreams of an eagle’s wings that shift from white to gold in the light.
Dean plans to give him a name he picked out weeks before, Elijah. It was his father’s middle name. But she will also give their son a name.
Ikíphi, the name her uncle, Chief Tahatan, gave Dean Winchester himself.
Because one day, she knows her son will be worthy of it.
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AN: And there we have it! A more definitive end to Dean and Mila's story. 🥹
For those of you who read and enjoyed this, thank you so much for sticking with me through this sequel of The Honorable Choice. This was an idea that wouldn't let go of me once I started, and it's the first time that I've written something like this. 💖💖
Pronunciation Guide:
Wašíču ("wash-ee-jew") Šóta ("sho-tah") Chatan ("chat-tan") Tahatan ("ta-hat-tann") Otaktay ("ogh-tac-tay") Weaya ("we-ayy-ya") Takoda ("ta-koda") Mato ("matt-toe") Misae ("mee-sah-eh")
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floralovebot · 1 month ago
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i got the full fairy outfit UEUEUEUEUEUUEUE
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#yeah this game has fully grabbed me by the balls#i have not spent any money though comrades i promise 🫡#i Really hope they increase the time for the events though thats my biggest concern with the gacha rn#like a gacha is a gacha its not gonna get better in terms of money or trying to entice players#HOWEVER i do think increasing the time for them would be nice...#like once you get through the main story and youve been through most of the current world#earning diamonds is hard :')#and considering they have multiple events going on PLUS earning recolors through More gacha like bro....#i feel like theres a balance in gacha with enticing players but not overwhelming them either#and rn i think this game could Very Easily teeter into overwhelming players#like ive accepted that im probably not going to get any recolors for limited events unless they come back#and when so many of the outfits have up to 4 recolors! bad!!#idkidk its still very new but its not like they dont have experience with gacha this is like the what 4th or fifth game#sixth... maybe...#i lost count aljhgd#Anyway im just saying as someone who spent a lot of time playing love and shining nikki f2p as an easily enticed teen too#i never felt this rushed by the gacha in either game#and that was with events that had 4+ special outfits too#for all intents and purposes these current limited time ones have One special outfit (tech two but the 4 star barely counts)#and im already going eeeeeeeeeeeeee#like i fully wouldnt be able to do both the fairy and the butterfly outfit#i probably wouldnt have completed the fairy one if i was trying to pull for the butterfly one too#ANYWAY i just hope they make it at least a Little easier for free players lol#its a gacha game so no hope but ive never had such a hard time with the gacha in the other games so... small hope......
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trees-can-draw · 4 months ago
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Hm.
#vent#tw vent#vent in the tags#screaming in the void#okay so.#I know I don't post regularly#and maybe it's because I switch fandoms a lot but#I just wish my art would be reblogged more#and I know that it's silly and I'm probably being annoying by saying this#but it just feels really discouraging for me to post something and get a maximum of 7 notes - if I'm lucky - most if not all of which#are likes. and don't get me wrong!! I really appreciate the likes! it's good and I'm glad you like my art!!#but this site lives off of reblogs - sharing things that you like onto your own blog so that others who could potentially also like this#can find it and share it perhaps onto their blogs#if there are only likes then nobody else gets to see it and it eventually fades into the background and get lost.#I tried reblogging my own art from a while ago cuz I thought maybe that would help but. it didn't change anything. it's still all likes#if any engagement happens at all. it's frustrating because it makes me feel like what I post isn't worth being shared.#like it's not good enough. which I know! realistically is not the case but! that doesn't stop me from feeling like it#I don't know what I'm trying to say with this. I'm not trying to force anyone or guilt trip them into reblogging#of course not. no one is obligated to do anything I just. wish more people reblogged my art because yea. I *draw* for myself#but I do *post* it with the intention of it being seen and appreciated by others#that it might bring them as much joy seeing it as it did me creating it#I'm just tired#if you've read this far thank you. I really appreciate you. I love you and I hope you have a really good day <3
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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 11 months ago
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they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild"; "a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"
and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place
"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death
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#like do you remember . “Micky the Crab” who was falcone's soldier and whom falcone eventually left to clean the fucking toilets#when the guy lost almost all his fingers#and ofc i don't think this whole charade with charity and the press is sincere (can sense 100% money laundering w charity here) but#i think he still felt some appreciation for empire bay bc this city accepted & raised him instead of sicily#i believe that there were also good intentions with the planetarium and maybe other things#maybe not everything was just a money laundering#“your teeth are a gift from god u can sink them into anyone's flesh and call it an act of giving” this is what i mean#that fact that his fucking (ugly but still) MANSION is in a poor residential area it just feels like a slap#violently shaking carlo by his shoulders WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! (gets shot right after)#the fact that he had a reputation as a shady guy among the mafia and a reputation as a philanthropist in society . carlo. why r u like this#this man is a fucking contradiction in some absolutely fucked up gross way and it's killing me. wouldn't want him any other way tho#m2#like can you imagine. if he actually felt warm towards empire bay. can you imagine if he was actually interested in making this place bette#but still organized the drug trade(which is objectively even worse than a racket)#love mixed with selfishness and violence and greed and and in the end it's creation mixed with destruction#sorry i can't get my thoughts into sentences that make sense all this week#but this contrast is killing me and i think about it a lot and i just wanted to put it together in a compilation
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freewilllife · 3 days ago
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! So far as my understanding was, Hua Cheng challenged those officials right after he exited Mount Tonglu as a supreme so that would put it a little over a decade, I guess? Additionally, Mu Qing remembers the exact wording Xie Lian asked him that day more than 800 years later (see the scene at the lava before XL rescuing him) so I do think this matters to him a lot. Like what you said about values, I agree he has these values.
That might be, but Hua Cheng was completely unknown to them. What I want to express with it: I doubt that Mu Qing somehow could have even guessed that a guy he had known a couple of hundred years before, was so crazy for Xie Lian that he had followed him for all this time.
At Mount Tounglu, Mu Qing was just as horrified, digusted and flabbergasted that Hua Cheng was that person.
By the way, this phrase was just very important for him and it was traumatic for him as well, so yes, he always remembered, but connect Hua Cheng with it? No chance.
In my opinion, accepting a challenge by a ghost king might not be considered as bullying? Why do you think it is bullying? I mean if they had issued the challenge to HC but that was not the case.
As far as I remember, the book expressed it like this...that those two, Feng Xin and Mu Qing, were not very happy to bully a new ghost, along with the remark, that they just didn´t consider this event as very important.
Also, Hua Cheng´s challenge was quite a thing: If he had been a normal ghost, it had been very likely that he might have lost at one point...with 33 gods. It´s a little bit like 33 people against one...usually, I would consider this unfair.
I did not mean that he knew what Hua Cheng was up to, my conclusion was more like: Mu Qing is still feeling guilty for how he treated Xie Lian, therefore Hua Cheng defeating those 33 officials might feel to him like fate catching up (not as an intentional thing from HC). But in that way Hua Cheng could be a reminder for him of his own guilty conscience. If that makes sense.
You misunderstand Mu Qing. He felt guilty for hurting Xie Lian´s feelings, but he considered his behaviour right. Mu Qing thought that he did not need to forfeit his chance of being a god for Xie Lian. And honestly, Mu Qing is right.
Mu Qing has a right to a life of his own and does not need to sactifice for Xie Lian´s sake.
He was Xie Lian´s servant and not his friend.
If you look back, Mu Qing merely apologized for hurting Xie Lian´s feelings, but never for the deed in and itself.
Simply because of this: Mu Qing would have considered it not justified to lose his godhood, because it was his own capabilities that let him reach this high.
I really do love Mu Qing, I wrote this down to understand him better as character, this was never intended as Mu Qing bashing in anyway! Just laying out my line of thought. I love how everyone finds their own access to the story and characters. And I'm very happy to have found a community who all care so deeply about this story.
I think it is very interesting, how everybody perceives a character like Mu Qing.
At the time Hua Cheng challenged 35 heavenly officials to a duel, did Mu Qing suspect anything? I mean he is the only one who would have been able to know what these people had in common and care about it. As there is no one he could have talked to about – with things being as they were and Mu Qing being Mu Qing – we don’t know if he suspected something. But I do believe he never stopped feeling guilty about that incidence with Xie Lian, right? And he did remember the red coral pearl earring after more than 800 years. Would he really forget about who all the other officials were on that day? Seems unlikely. So maybe he did have a weird feeling about this for a long time before he actually meets Hua Cheng accompanying Xie Lian?
Maybe he did not suspect Hua Cheng targeting them on purpose. But maybe it did feel like fate catching up to him? In that light, maybe his mistrust regarding Hua Cheng was subconsciously fueled by his own guilty conscience? Not that it needed any more fuel I guess.
Does this make sense? Or did I get lost in some weird 2 am line of thought last night?
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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gfwooyo · 1 year ago
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cannot stop thinking about yungi youth mv
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#like what if i throw up#it's about the trauma and the tiredness and picking yourself back up and moving on it's about friendship and home#they lost sight of each other when they were so focused on themselves and their own shit#the shot of mingi in front of the mirrors where the center one is himself and the rest are yunho with his back towards him like !!!!!!!!!!!!#their old coping mechanisms not working#mingi used to use music to shut out the world so he could be alone but now it brings him back to yunho but yunho isn't THEREEEEE#yunho picked up his lore!brother's guitar bc it had been his dream before he died and he was grieving him but here he's smashing it on the-#-wrecked car the thing that took his brother away from him#and u can SEE yunho dancing in the burning house even in the 2 different sets u see flames through the windows#and mingi is watching the cabin burn alone until yunho walks into frame and we can breathe bc he's no longer trapping himself in that house#AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO MINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#IT'S LIKE. WE'RE BOTH HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE'RE STILL TOGETHER.#gonna puke. idk if anything i've said makes sense it's after midnight and my head is a jumble they just got me feeling a lot#it's about the loneliness it's about the grief it's about watching ur past in third person it's about returning to yourself in the present#mingi i love u forever and ever. his lyrics have always hit the hardest like he Gets me#god this is just such a fever era song so ofc i'm obsessed like the lyrics in that series just fuckin HIT#they talk abt how hard and lonely and scary and confusing and tiring it is growing up and i start thrashing and clawing at the walls#how wonderful to not only be alive at the same time as atz but to be the same age & have similar experiences so their music feels like a hug#like. i'm not alone huh#ANYWAY. did not come here with the intention of saying anything in the tags i was just gonna post that picture but alas#kara can talk
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remyfire · 2 years ago
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In old roleplaying circles, I used to have people get really angry at me because they found a lot of catharsis in taking their characters those agonizing angst without necessarily giving them an end point of healing whereas my characters would always try to prompt that moment of healing—would be an end point they could come to whenever they were ready, would love them through the pain instead of drive it higher—and I don't think I've really changed at all in that regard, and I hope that ends up being all right.
#this is a complicated way to say that i'm having my chai and meditating on some of the more popular headcanons i saw#when i first got here and part of it was just the circle of blogs i saw initially when i created mine#because they all had a similar sense of characterization for the blorbos and were reluctant to let anything else in#and i totally get that btw because i LOVE seeing varied interpretations and i will happily play in every sandbox#but i'm thinking specifically about the fanon about beej HAVING to leave his home after everything because he tries to fit back in the box#and he can't#and the agony and misery therein like having built an entire life on a literal lie and choosing to jettison it for his own good#and how i have inadvertently built a home life for him that he will return to incredibly changed but will be welcomed into nonetheless#i think about how loose and utterly queer he becomes in korea down to his gestures his clothes his grooming choices#and how yes he DOES remove all of those when he gets home#(my gnc hawk doing much the same i should say)#but replacing the agony of having to leave what no longer serves you with the joy of someone saying 'then let's change together'#and the knowledge that it won't be easy and you need SO much therapy#but that the old and the new can come together in a very intentional and loving and wonderful way#so the mustache comes back and the colors and the loose limbs and the lighter speaking cadence and he feels so fucking good again#and he's loved so thoroughly by all three of the most important aspects of his life for CHOOSING to be authentic#(just like hawk)#and i know a lot of this is me needing to write it because i almost lost my marriage because my wife was so scared of how she changed#that she was projecting onto me all of these thoughts of how she was SURE i'd react and she tried to cut and run early#and how when i wrapped her up in all that love and desire to come along on this new journey and see what happens#that she was overcome and truly didn't believe it was real#but also i do get sad at the tendency to be like 'everyone changed and they can never go back'#when i want to be like 'yes but they can always go forward and they don't have to lose everything they loved to do it'#and i just hope people wanna come on that journey with me#my ramblings
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