#and i dont know how to talk to people lmao

[reason-with-the-underdog]

you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed

i keep thinking about how

if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action

but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore

that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed

(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)

this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it

which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is

despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life

he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions

i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself

and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now

so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is

such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity

why fight a mountain who will not be moved?

instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:

help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely

snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed

there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....

and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!

to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save

and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in

alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--

he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are

anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)

& i cant believe its canon

i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...

how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!

its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...

but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick

as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them

the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be

you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)

[separatist-apologist]

I was just thinking about how I miss you! To specify, not your fic updates so much as your general hilarious and genuine internet presence. Which yes is weird bc we do not know each other or live in the same country. But I hope you’re doing ok. I’m gonna reread one of your fics tonight as a treat to myself, maybe Wonderland? I hope you are crazy excited for Halloween btw!

Ooof I keep writing out my response and then deleting. how much is too much, haha? Probably all of it.

To condense- I am working on a comeback and being more lively. I needed the break, though, and to recalibrate what I enjoy about being here, as well as affirm my circle of friends and just spend more time among them as a reminder that the few deeply awful people who find their way in are in a small minority.

This break has been really wonderful, though, even if I've been less charming on main. I've made new friendships across my usual ships and spent more time among older friendships that I wasn't doing the best job maintaining.

And I freed myself from the obligation of writing nearly 30k words a week, and updating multiple times a week and wow wouldn't you know it, that was stressing me out HAHA. I'm wading back in. I needed to just see nothing ACOTAR related for a while, to block better, and just remove all the discourse from my brain.

Yeah yeah curate your experience but ah. It does work lmao.

I hope you (and everyone) knows how supported I've felt, and how genuinely grateful I am for everyone who has sent nice messages that are currently languishing in my askbox, along with all the silliness I've been staring at, trying to think of something equally silly to say back.

I think I'll be back in full force for the holidays. I signed up for the gift exchange too, and you know ya girl has to outdo last year (somehow)

[yakichoufd]

People...Stop telling me to ship wade/logan, so it fits the narrative you want me to draw.

You don't like nathan/wade? Well, too bad because I do. And I ship logan with scott, so picturing logan and wade romantically together feels terrible off to me haha!

I love my ships dearly and I hate when people force me to love new ships so they can hope to see my fanarts of them.

Shipping is personnal, it is something that need to come naturally to me and not all popular ships are a hit for me. I don't want anyone to force me enjoying something. That is not how I enjoy my fandom time. Forcing online strangers to like the same things as you is so childish.

And many many AMAZING artists draw wade/logan fanarts. Go cheer on them. Let them know how much you enjoy what they create and leave me alone!! I don't owe you anything. I just happen to enjoy drawing Scott Summers with a lot of lovers. That's it.

And just because you enjoy what I draw does NOT mean that I have to draw only things that you judge interesting.

I draw anything that I am inspired by. I DRAW FOR MYSELF FIRST. You are not the main character of my life. Stop being self-centred and being rude. And I am an adult, so ofc I am going to explore adult themes in my art. If you are too young or not comfortable for that, then do NOT follow me. Block me. My art is NOT meant for kids. My art is NOT meant for everyone.

I post what I want on my own space, thank you very much.

[shepscapades]

GLAD EVERYONE ENJOYED THE ANDROID INFO UPDATE ABOUT INTERFACING DFGJNDGKGNMXGHNCBNM

[mamawasatesttube]

welcome, dc fans. planning to post something in the kon-el tag? i have a challenge for you: you must state three facts about kon-el, without mentioning either tim drake or lex luthor. (for bonus points, you can't mention young justice in general, either.) if you can't, the saw trap goes off, so choose wisely. your time starts... now.

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[dareduffie]

overhated female main characters who are products of their environment and are blamed for every conflict in their story because for some reason an extreme lack of media literacy has become the cool and interesting thing to do

[faunandfloraas]

Sometimes I remember lee know saying he wants to do a song with Seungmin and I.N bc he'd like to be a part of vocalracha and then I remember that was well over a year ago and there's still nothing.... </3

[sexygaywizard]

Literally unironically seen some posts like "wow the no fly list seems pretty islamophobic I can't believe this was happening" girl what world have you been living in

[bonefall]

Willowpelt sounds SO autistic, it not being funny wraps around into being funny again.

My secret is being so autistic and so surrounded by so many other autistic people that I forget what tismless people even do. Everyone in BB ends up getting a touch of ADHDautism. As a treat.

But yeah when I was jotting it down I realized it too. Like wow, I really hit this one with the autism beam. Me and you, Willy, we will both have adamantine opinions. I cannot condone your hatred of apples but you do have a good point about oak trees.

[arson-09]

How people are trying to change fandom (the rise of hatred against non-canon media)

This was inspired by the rise of backlash against the "Rhysta" ship.

Traditionally throughout the history of fandom spaces on social media, a very important factor has been creativity of course. Art and Fics by fans being the backbone of a fandom. Including non-canon ships, Aus, etc. And of course there was drama (when is there not drama?) BUT there wasn't as much hate because there was an understanding that it's not REAL. People in fandoms understood creativity and thinking outside the box (canon)

But something interesting happened in 2020 with the pandemic, people who weren't apart of fandom spaces started joining cause what else were you going to do? but there started the divide. These people wouldn't have joined fandoms originally because they didn't have that sort of creativity. Which isn't a bad or negative thing, everyone is different and that what makes the world go around, but these people were not used to fandom spaces and that divergency. To them, things have to be how it was written and non-canon things, ships or au's that can't hurt you or become canon, were blasphemous. Because why change the foundation if you liked the original media? this also ties into the "why do you read or interact with this media?" questions when people engage with media in their own way even if they dislike the majority of it. which is valid to do, I do it personally with acotar. I dislike the majority of acotar from the way it's written to lots of the characters, but I interact with a certain subset of the fandom that shares a love for the same characters as I.

But these people, these mostly neurotypical, TikTok people, intrude into these safe creative spaces and cause a ruckus over non-canon Aus and ships. for no reason! Ships like Rhysta are harmless, of course people who make and consume this media don't think it's going to be real, and that's the misconception! Making and consuming non-canon media doesn't mean you think it's going to happen or want it to happen, it's just existing. existing for the sake of existing and stretching creative muscles. You can't grow as an artist if you do not break from the mold, from the restraints of canon.

What you are doing by constantly harassing and posting shit about non-canon media is showing you lack a fundamental understanding of Fandom. Policing what people do is a fruitless endeavor. of course, calling out actually problematic creators is okay, when what they're doing is actually harmful and not them being creative or God forbid, a little weird.

There has been and still needs to be respect in the places. Filtering tags for things that upset you and blocking creators you disagree with is key to being someone people will actually listen to and respect. If you refuse to do that, no one you harass, or attack will take you seriously. and maybe that's not your objective but that means you're going to be blocked on main and made fun of. And this segment is somewhat targeted at someone who has been consistently harassing my mutuals, but I've seen so many people like this and it's a real issue. And its such an issue in Booktok popular books and shows, and media that becomes popular with the masses.

Fandom spaces aren't meant to follow canon to a T. People will have non-canon ships, opinions on how they think the series should have gone, opinions on characters, etc. Constantly harassing and targeting creators won't change that.

I know this won't stop this behavior, it will continue to happen but it's been bothering me and maybe this will change some people's minds on how they interact with the media they like, and they hate.

I love rhysta, I think that the dynamic is very interesting and that people are free to explore that and say whatever they want about how it could have gone in canon. None of that means i think its going to happen or that it should. Lord, people are just having fun. Like they should in fandom places.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

people who say that theyre "the only one right about this character" and then u open their page and its the most horrendous, twisted, far-fetched mischaracterization youve ever seen

[vaugarde]

okay so as a gen 5 stan who does adore the story in bw and bw2, and now that gen 5 has experienced both a vicious hatedom that wouldnt hear a single positive thing about the games, and now a super protective fandom that insists they were perfect and had zero flaws... can we admit now that the bw1 story at least was. a little mid.

[thegreatyin]

firmament chapter 3 is. very long. though admittedly length is relative and mostly just constricted by how many actions every other step in this chapter costs

[hauntingblue]

Stampede aka another episode of luffy turning haters into dick riders just with his kind and big heart

[canisvesperus]

Whenever I post something nice about Eridan I feel like Rian Johnson calling Ben Solo a sweetheart in that The Last Jedi promotional poster from his Instagram on July 15 2017 and the resulting shitstorm that created in the fandom. VERY FEW WILL UNDERSTAND.