#and i dont feel up to that.
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oh wait it's also nanowrimo month now
i wont formally participate. but im also curious. how close to 50k i could get.............................
#speculation nation#IVE DONE IT BEFORE (without realizing it) BUT#when i started discacc i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks#and uhm. well first chapter was posted on the 21st but i was writing a few days b4 that#so thats like 2 ish weeks??? so i THINK i maybe hit 50k in november of 2020. maybe.#there was a certain amount of stircrazy that went into that tho so i dont think i can replicate that#.on that note DISCACC'S 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP... *SCREAMING*#ive done uhm. ive done chapters for it the past 2 years. but my brain is not writing discacc rn#and i dont wanna force it (aka why it's on indefinite hiatus)#i wanna recognize it somehow tho. just. not gonna be with a chapter probably.#... i'll think about it. i wanna do Something but it's not gonna be an update bc id have to reread the whole thing first#and i dont feel up to that.#but. idk. idk! i wanna celebrate its birthday but im not in the p5 writing mood (and havent been for about 8 months now...)#well. i'll think about it. maybe i'll come up with Something.#even if it's just a post that would be better than nothing. we'll see.
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i have such a love for characters who descend into madness or villainy out of deep, deep empathy. characters who fundamentally cannot cope with the cruel realities they find themselves in and blow up about it in spectacular fashion. fallen angel type characters with tears of outrage in their eyes. characters who break before they bend, and break so badly they splatter blood all over their noble ideals. every variation on it gets me so good
#getou suguru#kaneki ken#abyss twin#i know there are others who im not thinking of rn#feel free to reblog with more examples#aphelion.txt#tropes#WAIT I REMEMBERED MORE#jaina proudmoore#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#phosphophyllite#i just spent like half an hour trying to find this on tv tropes but it must be. Too specific of a thing i have in mind bc#I just kept finding similar and related but too broad categories#despair event horizon. fallen hero. well intentioned extremist. etc etc etc#like specifically i'm talking about when the character's EMPATHY is the CRUX of the problem. sosooo crunchyjuicytasty#edit:#also just know that i am reading every tag on this post#and enthusiastically scribbling down the names i dont recognizr#so i can check out their series later#edit 2 wow this post blew up 🫡 godspeed fellow villain likers#the amount of people tagging this as 'me lmao' is concerning to me#wwx#how did i fucking forget this was also yllz era wwx
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not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less
but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree
she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).
and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:
it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.
it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.
EDIT: for the love of god stop reblogging this only to add some comment or tag or reply saying 'op you forgot [BLATANTLY FANON INTERPRETATION]'. falin as we know her is not a pushover/people pleaser/infantilized, see this version of my post. also stuff like 'female shuro was in love with laios in the genderbent comic' and 'falin was going to marry shuro because she felt bad' are just things you made up in your head
#idk i love her#dont take this as insulting i like when people do anything with her i just wanna vomit my feelings#dungeon meshi#another example of this is how she takes the dragon with her when she's resurrected#it isn't like her to leave that little thing behind#wriggling helplessly in the grass#she picked that little thing up and took it with her without a second thought
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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dragon meat, you, and me
#marcille donato#falin touden#farcille#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#tw blood#tw body horror#tw gore#as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!!#like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive#the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence#evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved#ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost#on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation#the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!!#also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood#in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?)#ruporas art
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you'll never know.
#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#ford pines#fiddleford#grunkle ford#gravity falls fanart#fanart#disney#uhhhhh more magma#i feel like i should make a magma tag atp#magma#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#mods art#mods draws#my art#also YES i'm fully aware now that i drew the wrong glasses on fidds DONT bring it up im still mad
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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.
ID by @peachygos
[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.
The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"
The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]
#nimona#nimona movie#my art#i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands#idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then#'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person
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leashes for zosan
#one piece#zoro#sanji#zosan#nico robin#usopp#ive had this comic sketched for… probably months. but i finally lined and finished it!!#eesh… three comics in three days… this rate is NOT sustainable#im just incapable of not thinking about one piece dkfkdkkckdkc#i normally dont draw at all nov-feb bc i feel unmotivated and sad but hey!! not this year!! skckdkckdkkcdk#anyway i have the nonblurry zoro. featuring more of his uhhh body. but thats not going up here any time soon
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Man is it just me or are a lot of TV shows nowadays are written to have big emotional episodes in scenes with very little build up.
#txt#i have some thoughts on a certain show.... maybe i'll talk about it lol#like you would think with shortened seasons these writers would try to limit the cast so that big scenes feel more earned... but they dont?#they want these big massive expansive casts with big emotional moments by episode 2 and then every episode needs that Big Scene#i noticed this especially with a lot of indie animated shows#pacing and build up is sacrificed so we can have big emotional scenes with characters we know very little#even indie shows i enjoy im just kind of like “wouldnt this feel more earned if i actually knew this character”#and sometimes it works. pluto made me cry in the first episode! but it also spent so much time with these characters because#they're an hour long each
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Ally Beardsley is so good at playing Hot Competent Adults with Messy Internal Lives. Russell is the #1 fix-it man, and the sluttiest person alive, and desperately lonely. Margaret can do more in a battle with her HSBC app than most people can do with a gun. Also she is in a codependent decade-long lesbian situationship with her former coworker and current enemy. Pete is messier than most, but goddamn if he isn't good at selling drugs, and goddamn if he isn't a great Vox Phantasma. Kristen's not an adult but she's well on her way to getting back with her ex while simultaneously championing a brand new pantheon of gay goddesses. What a pc roster.
#dimension 20#the unsleeping city#fantasy high#never stop blowing up#excuse my use of HSBC i dont know american banks and i dont feel like googling it#or. space banks i guess#ally beardsley#d20
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hm
#hom3stuck#homestuck#john egbert#jade harley#dirk strider#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#lil hal#autoresponder#inspired sketches because i went thru a bunch of artblogs and wanted to be dynamic and artsy too#also love to listen to songs and then try my best to draw something for the duration of it. this isnt quite one of those times but#hey the names matched up nicely#idk man. tonight is a sad about dirk strider day turned into sad about dirk strider night. davekats to make it go down easier#anyways ever think about how a captcha of 13 year old dirk doesnt want to die but the 16 year old version does.#cause i do . plenty.#these seem like sketches ripe to do something with but i dont feel like touching them more so. black and white up they go
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Love spotting an author I know and love in the kudos or comments section of a totally separate fic. It's like looking behind you in the movie theatre and seeing a local celebrity munching on popcorn right there with you.
#imo it's even more exciting when it's a fandom you had no idea they were in#i love when ao3 feels like a neighbourhood#we have the same tastes and end up in the same places and i dont know your real name but i'm excited you were here#my posts
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Genuinely, and I mean this kindly, but learning to recognize bait and not engaging with it will change your fandom experience.
#once you realize : oh theyre just trying to rile me up and i dont care to give them a response#everything is less stressful#i keep seeing the same arguments rehashed every six or so months#i know a lot of people are new and dont know but the trolls youre arguing with do#theyre trying to burn yall out and send you packing#also i do think there is something very funny about someone spending all that time color coding a bait post#and no one engages with it like wow you tried#i understand the passion people feel AND at some point you gotta let it go#anyway i do feel like the best way to sustain longevity is to just block the tags/people who enrage you
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yknow what. *undooms your yuri again*
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#arlevie#hi they still make me feel mentally ill#finished arle's story quest and like the brainrot has gotten worse actually#obsessed with the fact that Clervie is like the only girl to look at Peruere and say “I can fix her” and ACTUALLY fucking fix her#well like. for the most part.#shes still a little bit fucked up but in her defense clervie ended up giving up on life and the pursuit of freedom and died in arle's arms#WHICH YKNOW ADDED A HINT OF EXTRA TRAUMA but we dont talk about that
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genie: so, you have three wishes-
me: i want everyone in the world to be able to size shift between two inches tall and fifteen feet tall, at will, in a totally safe manner, EXCEPT for my ex and anyone within a 100 meter radius of them. everyone they see or meet will be the exact same height as them.
genie: that’s…. specific.
me: they’re into size. imagine knowing g/t is now real and exists, and you will NEVER get to experience it firsthand. i cannot think of a worse fate for any size fan.
genie: ….y’know what, fuck yeah. let’s do this
me: YAY. so for my second wish, i’m thinking bigass sword
genie: NICE
#g/t#which ex is this about? i’ll never tell#i genuinely feel like ive moved on but sometimes i think of some funny shit like this and i have to post it#so pls dont think im hung up on anyone. im just a comedian who capitalizes on life experiences#anyways. god i want a sword. i want one so bad#i want a replica of inigo montoyas blade SOOOO BAD
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i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶
(source)
#mishanks#akataka#dracule mihawk#hawkeyes mihawk#shanks#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#one piece#one piece fanart#incorrect one piece quotes#op fanart#i have accidentally signed up for too much to draw as lesurely as i have been lol soz 🙏#but i noticed my blog got taken off the mishanks tag's top blog list which clearly means i havent posted enough abt them recently LOL#comic#op comic#shanks: no u dont understand. he only calls me by my first name when he's feeling soft and he would never let anyone else touch his face#especially like that from behind! and first thing in the morning? anyone else would find themselves without a hand.#i call my angel all these lovely pet names and in return he lowers all his walls and i love him 🥰🥰🥰#(mihawk on the side is feeling extremely exposed lol)#(but also fond 🥰 he loves him back so much too!!!)
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