#and i despise it lmao omg
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emil1863 · 10 months ago
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Tfw the God you encountered wont leave
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miutonium · 1 year ago
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Yesterday during Pre-FYP pitch:
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#asuka speaks#im sorry guys but i just want to tell you guys the critique went well i just need to fix just a tiny little thing in my slides#anyway my lect is happy because it seems that I know very well about my topic and relieved that she doesnt need to worry about me#also im just really happy i get to tell her about some of the cool ads related to smoking like omg im cryingjrkrnem 😭😭😭#like you guys dont get it this is the first time Im able to nerd out about it and tell her about the ads I stumbled on and have a really-#meaningful discussion about it wagsjshqkial 😭😭😭#when i said I love psa and ads in general i actually mean I actively seeking out these things on a weekly to daily basis#and sometimes i put it on when i do work lol#yes there's actually compilation of it on youtube lol they even categorised it based on topics#i personally like the british/europeans one i just feel the message were so hard hitting sometimes#but i also love the old anti drug ads from the 80s-90s because of nostalgia lol#i know this seems probably weird but like lmao if anyone ever give me a chance to ask me which top 3 i like#i would give like 10 instead hsksksksk#anyway the fyp topic i picked were about smoking since my trip to the hospital and also my personal observation made me realised-#the initiative the moh are doing for anti smoking awareness is just so outdated lol#i dont despise smoking lol dont worry i just find that whatever the moh is doing isnt working for this era anymore#so i thought it would be neat to incorporate both art and psa because psas aren't suppose to be boring#and that's what consensus thought it is#sorry jdjidjslaoqlql im just nerding out here aldjdkalalql i just want to tell you guys what happened yesterday
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lauren-210 · 10 months ago
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All the more reasons as to why he is the best and why I fucking love and adore this man. ❤️
I haven't peeped much of it, but I did see people calling Sejanus a spoiled kid and I'm like I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE BC HE IS A SPOILED KID AND HE DIDN'T KNOW HUNGER AND HE STILL KNOWS THAT KEEPING THE STATUS QUO ISN'T THE WAY TO GO.
the empathy of this man
especially when you compare him to mf Coriolanus Snow who KNOWS hunger and STILL thinks people deserve this because they're not people but animals
the parallels between those two; Sejanus, kind because of his nature and nurturing of his mother, ten years in the Capitol and not letting those bullies erode his soul, not letting them harden him, he does NOT betray his kindness even as it could help him integrate better, no, he chooses loneliness no matter what over spoiling his soul
and over there is Coriolanus Snow, who does EVERYTHING for image and status, who fake befriends people on the basis of how they benefit him, having poor Tigris, the literal kindest baby, try to nurture him and pull something good out of him, and she just.. fails
and like, yes, Snow had trauma. but sorry it doesn't excuse becoming a dictator
Sejanus, too, had trauma. they all went through war. while, yes, Sejanus had food to eat, he was plagued by loneliness and guilt all his life and let me remind you this is a KID
people expecting him to be crafting plans just don't get it. he's a teenager that feels guilty as fuck and wants at least a few people to do better if he can't save everyone. because he can't, he can't stand by and watch more cruelties until he MAYBE inherits his father's money. and then what? he's not the only rich person in the Capitol.
either way, it's unlikely he could have led some revolutionary rebellion (he certainly had the grit and passion, though) because he had no backing and the ONE person who he trusted was a mf SNAKE and was actively sabotaging him
where was he gonna get allies for a rebellion? Capitol where he was hated because he wasn't like them? District 2 where he was hated because he didn't belong to them either? District 12 where he was a Peacekeeper, the police of the Capitol?
he was doomed from the start. he was too good and he couldn't play the long game because he was feeling so powerfully about everything and was NOT calculating like Snow. he was not the strategist Snow was.
he was a smart, kind, lonely boy who wanted to do good.
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fuxuannie · 2 years ago
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Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you 🤍🤍 you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive 😭
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* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader
* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.
* authors note : hi anon !!! (๑´ㅂ`๑) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !
* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.
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DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.
He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.
So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.
God, your smile was so pretty.
After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.
"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"
He nods his head.
"Is it.. because of Sampo?"
He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.
Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"
Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"
"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."
He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."
You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."
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JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.
He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.
You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.
And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.
Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)
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GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.
So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.
Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.
So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."
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Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.
"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.
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bellewintersroe · 10 months ago
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Jenson Button x FamousReader!2009
this is like a second part (can be read individually) to THIS. Here’s just some more headcannons of what it would be like when Jenson is in a relationship with a famous British celeb who’s extremely popular, especially amongst the party scene. warnings: mentions of sex, oral sex, nothing too graphic but I just knowww Jenson gets down and dirty. mentions of alcohol and some drug use? not to glamorise it we all know celebs ain’t innocent ok. for this case 18+ 😇
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Jenson is a cutie ok, the more he falls in love with his SO the more he finds himself looking out for her in the garage. Whether this be before or after his race, just imagine his head poking out of his car, or he’s fully suited, helmet still on, glimpsing around trying to find her.
lots of cuddles, he’d keep an arm slung around her, especially if they’re in public where there’s paparazzi- in that case he’s keeping an extra tight grip on her.
despises the paparazzi ok- he’s a polite man, pretty tame, but British press in the 2000s were VILE and for his girlfriend, he can’t stand the idea of them even looking at her.
helps shields her eyes when the flashes are too bright.
Taxis home together at questionable hours of the morning, limbs sprawled over each other and getting caught snogging in the backseats.
drunk sex- especially when he wins the championship, he’s so smug and proud, fucking into her with all his energy, cos he’s world champion baby 😏. lovesss seeing her legs pinned up over his shoulders.
thanks his girl publicly after he wins his championship.
as I mentioned in the part prior to this, Jenson LOVES going on holiday with her, like he’s a bit of a perv when it comes to seeing y/n in a bikini, especially after he’d already seen to many shoots of her before even meeting each other.
never admits to being a fanboy of her but the smirk would say otherwise.
getting down and dirty on a yacht, hidden by a beach towel whilst he fingers her, he has his sunnies on and he’s smirking, pressing kisses to her temple and whispering sweet nothings.
“you’re doing so good aren’t you?” “all these people taking pictures of you and nobody has a clue what we’re doing.” “should put on a show for them, shouldn’t we?”
so mf dirty, his British accent makes it 10x sexier too.
sex in the pool of a yacht, and every single room in there, wants to try everything with her, but he isn’t pushy in the slightest- Jenson wouldn’t ever come close to making her feel uncomfortable.
They’d deffo see pictures released of them both the next day and giggle because nobody would have a clue what was happening under that towel.
can be really soft in sex, like stroking her face, talking her thru it -omfg I need him.
Deffo wants to try like anal, and certain kinks- I feel like she would too, idk when they’re both drunk they’d decide they wanna try something and sometimes it’s an utter fail.
other times it’s just giggly, exciting sex where they’re both eating fucking whipped cream off one another or something.
soft, gentle moans from him, especially when the sex is more passionate, when it’s rougher I feel like he’d be quiet but let out some grunts whenever he’s out of breath or gets really into it.
He’s a sucker when she goes down on him, like he’s a mess omg- if there’s one way to elicit moans from him that’s exactly how and she’s soooo good at it- he makes plenty of public innuendos about this.
I feel like y/n would wear the smallest little mini skirts, like she’s a Y2K queen and befriends lots of other wags at this stage- constantly pictures walking around the paddock looking cool asf.
Deffo a trend setter, but they’re the type of couple in 15 years that the younger generation look at and go ‘they’re together?!?’
as they get older they deffo become more private, but not secretive.
can spot each other in a crowd instantly, when he wins a race you best expect him to practically JUMP onto her, sometimes he forgets he’s bigger than her lmao.
The cameras go CRAZY for this and their faces are printed all over the newspapers.
Quiet, lazy mornings in England, especially when it’s cold out and Jenson finally has time off- the two of them can really appreciate the quiet side of life at home.
makes him want to settle down- but I think he’d be worried at first about bringing a child into the world- they’re having too much fun with each other, but I think they would calm down after a few years.
occasional bickers, maybe they both walk out of a nightclub and she’s storming ahead of him with a face like a slapped arse. Jenson would make a comment and y/n would be pissed that all the onlookers heard.
Y/n and Jenson’s relationship on the rocks?!
bitch the next morning he’s on top of her having the best make up sex ever.
Seriously their stamina is insane so they fuck like rabbits.
I feel like because y/n maybe has grown up in the public eye? Or fame came in her teens, her behaviour can be fairly erratic at times- like especially before Jenson the partying and boozing was out of control, but being a few years older he really settles her down in life.
like not that she’s troubled (I’m not gonna glamorise it but it’s real life) but it can’t be easy dealing with everything and fame at a young age, I feel like Jenson would take care of her at times, like if she gets wayyyy to drunk he wouldn’t lecture her, but he’d deffo have this sad look on his face, clearly he’s worried.
she’s ok tho, especially with him and like I said she settles down and matures a lot with Jenson.
She’d probs smoke weed every now and then and idk if Jenson would like it, especially when he’s so focused on racing, but he tries it once or twice and would probs just fall asleep immediately.
I feel like he’s so cuddly at times, like in the middle of the night he’d just snuggle up to her. So cute. On holiday on sunbeds he’d be so cuddly, grabbing at her and it causes for some really cute paparazzi pictures.
not to glamorise droogz and drinking but them two probably party a lot in the first year together.
Jenson is the type to eye his gf up from the other side of the room, nods her over or something sexy.
hand would start on your shoulder and end up on her ass- so many headlines the next day…
But yeah they’re such a popular, attractive couple, you either want to be with them or want to be them.
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trolliworms · 1 year ago
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I’m finally gonna make my post about the pjo show, spoilers if you haven’t seen it
I loved it so so much, so I’m just going to list some of my favorite things
“I am Sally Jackson’s son!”
Literally just everything about Sally she was such a queen I love her
“You burn what you’ll miss most.” And then he burns his blue jellybeans to talk to his mom instead of his dad, who’s an actual god.
“I finally have some real friends here. I think they really like me.” Percy, are you trying to make me cry?
“Not you sunshine, you’re with me.”
Flossing Percy, his smile when he pet the lizard, that whole scene was just perfect. I love Walker so much he’s so perfect.
“You fell in love with God? Like, Jesus?”
Luke. Just Luke omg. “She’s my little sister.” The way you can tell how much he despises the gods. The way he’s looking out for Percy. The way you know how he’s going to betray him in the end 😭😭😭. Also why did they have to make him so fine?
Annabeth was perfect, no complaints. “I’m sorry.” Then pushes him into water lmao. I feel like I can feel everything she’s thinking, Leah did such a good job.
Grover was perfect, too. I really liked how he told Percy his mom wasn’t actually dead, even though he might have gotten in trouble for it. A+++
Clarisse’s scream when her staff breaks, the absolute despair in her face. You just know that staff meant the world to her because it was a gift from her dad, I honestly felt really bad for her when that happened.
But Percy in that fight scene? He was such a beast like omg. I feel like in his pov in the books you don’t realize how good a fighter he is, but now we can see him kick butt without looking through his goofball lenses. I especially liked during that scene when Clarisse looks at her friend, and you can just see them exchange a really confused look because they expected him to suck lol.
The way they explained quests through Mr. D wanting alcohol and tricking Percy? It was played off as a joke but that is like genius writing. You get quests explained, it characterizes Percy, Grover, and Mr. D a little more, and it’s a goofy little joke.
Uncle Rick’s cameo!!! In the office scene!!! When I saw him I literally screamed at my friend, “THERES UNCLE RICK! IN A CHAIR!” lol
Bonus: the credits are so pretty 😭 I love them
Thank you for reading friends! Go watch the show if you haven’t!!! <333
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stxrysnow · 6 months ago
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its me again!! For this one can it be megumi x reader, the reader is a bubbly, adventurous, curious and silly person but their extremely kind and witty. [also smart, and sassy at times] The scenario can be just them doing stuff together like baking, going to a playground, coffee date, its your choice!
— a taste of your love.
synopsis. megumi’s had his fair share of having people who’re energetic, loud and annoying— much to his distaste— though deep down, he knows he loves them; no matter how much he tries to deny it.
although, he just can't help but want a taste of you— a taste of your love.
genres/themes. megumi fushiguro x reader, fluff, golden retriever and black cat dynamic, baking with megumi!, megumi silently admiring reader LMAO, two idiots in love, megumi is learning to love the reader (precious boy omg)
jiah’s notes. hello! senkyu for making this request ! < 3 i wanna feed shiro and kuro the best dog biscuits that ever exist, just wait till i summon them. (/j
... unless? LMAOO)
word count. 1.3k
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megumi was still in the process of understanding you.
now, now— don’t blame him, that poor guy has been surrounded by highly energetic people all his life— be it tsumiki, his oh so nice sister— though, sometimes too sweet for her own good— or his friend yuuji— simply a ball of sunshine, that guy was; although he was a bit… naïve at times, or satoru— his ‘benefactor’ (also the guy he didn’t like to admit was his father figure) — often regarding him as an annoying, loud idiot.
but strangely enough, megumi had learnt to love them all the same— something that came from deep within, something that was hidden under his aloof demeanour.
and oh he simply despised to admit it to himself— to admit that he actually cared.
“ ’gumi, hand me the chocolate chips, will ya?” your voice said, drawing him out of his reverie— a simple blink and he was reaching up for the ingredient in the cabinet, hands strangely having a mind of their own.
dark green eyes searching your own as he placed the container on the kitchen counter, lips slightly parted as if he wanted to say something—
yet no words came out. you always rendered him speechless, both literally and emotionally.
“aw, thanks!” watching your eyes light up in the way it always did whenever he did even the bare minimum— megumi didn’t try to notice how his heart skipped a beat, didn’t try to notice how he swallowed a lump in his throat that had formed without him realising.
didn’t try to admit how much he craved your attention— didn’t try to admit how much craved you.
“did you get the cakes for shiro and kuro? poor things, i can’t eat this infront of them,” you tut, stirring the brownie batter with practiced precision, and megumi didn’t miss how your eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly when you did so; how your teeth habitually dug into your bottom lip whenever you were focused— oh how he couldn’t help but notice every damn thing about you.
it almost annoyed him.
you turned your head to face him, the hint of a smile that was always there with you still playing at your lips— “oi, earth to fushiguro. what’re you thinkin’ ?”
keyword: almost.
“i have,” megumi answered, trying to sound stoic but even he didn’t miss the slightly hoarse undertone of his voice— making his ears turn a delicate shade of red. “don’t worry ’bout it.”
“ooo-kay, okay,” you chirped, letting out a small laugh— god, why were you even laughing?— now you’ve made his cheeks pink.
and yet, the boy wanted nothing but to hear the sound of your laughter again and again— until it would be embedded into his very soul, like some forbidden memory only he could reach.
“hm.”
slender fingers of his rested against the cool tiles of the kitchen counter as he turned his head in your direction as you worked, and for a moment, he couldn’t help but just stare— eyelashes fluttering so delicately against his pale skin that one might just think that he didn’t want to close his eyes.
and so he didn’t.
how could he? you were there. before his very eyes.
you and your pretty eyes which seemed to shine no matter how dark the world got, you and your kindness that stood out like a sore thumb against the crowd— you and your insufferable self—
you.
megumi’s gaze lingered on your form, eyes skimming over the smallest of details— every little scar, every little movement of your hand that caused a vein to twitch, every little, though barely visible, freckle or mole.
and for a moment, he wanted nothing but to just step over and bury his nose into his your hair and breathe in your scent, pull you into his arms and never, ever let go—
“you’re staring.”
and oh how he turned red— his breath catching in his throat whilst he blinked, looking at you with almost a comically bewildered expression— cheeks flushing such a pretty shade of red that you secretly vowed to yourself to do anything in your wits to make him blush like that again, and again.
“i— . . . uh,” megumi stuttered, mentally cursing himself for even falling for your unintentional charms— how he loathed, yet relished in that cheshire grin of yours, “ ’m not.”
“yeahh, sure you aren’t, ’gumi,” you cooed, a small snicker escaping your lips, and ah how the boy’s ears turned a deeper shade of red as he found himself growing more and more flustered by the passing seconds.
“don’t call me that.”
he tried to ignore the way your eyes lit up even more at his half-mumbled reply— grin widening even more in a way that almost made you look so dumb with how much you were smiling— but then again, that was one of the reasons why megumi was so hopelessly in love with you.
“oh? you don’t like it, hm?” snickering, you dipped a finger of yours into the rich brownie batter— holding it out to him in a silent invitation to taste it, all the while you held that damn smile on your face.
how he wanted to roll his eyes— like he usually did whenever someone else tried to pull a similar stunt— oh how he wanted to respond with a blunt retort that was somehow always oh the tip of his tongue, how he wanted to be annoyed by your teasing.
so, of course, he quietly stepped forward— gently bringing your finger up to his lips to taste the batter— of course he wanted to feel your touch on his lips for a little while longer.
it was always different with you.
“i have a name,” megumi grumbled, eyes looking anywhere but your face— fingers reluctantly letting go of your own, his free hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “the batter’s alright, by the way.”
“of course you have a name,” you huffed out a small laugh, transferring the brown liquid into a container, “though, i do distinctly remember you acting all grumpy when i called you megumi instead of ’gumi the last time we had a sleepov—”
“shut up,” he said in a slightly harsh tone, but you knew better than to take it seriously— partly because you were just too much of a light-hearted person to do so and partly because you knew that megumi needed time to process his feelings.
“mhm, okay,” you tittered, shaking your head as that smile never left your face— letting out a small gasp as you felt strong yet hesitant arms wrap around your waist from behind, and oh how your heart skipped a beat whilst you turned back to glance at him over your shoulder.
megumi nuzzled into the crook of your neck; dark locks spiking up in the same way which you adored so much whilst obscuring the view of his eyes in such a pretty manner that made your heart swell— arms wrapped in a tender yet firm grip, as if he was afraid to break you if he held on too tight— yet too frightened by the possibility that you might disappear the moment he let go.
“you’re so . . . annoying,” he mumbled against your skin, still refusing to meet your gaze, earning a hum from you in response.
“d’you hate it, though?” a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips whilst you tapped the container against the countertop, making the batter even out.
“yes,” he replied, but you knew better— of course you did, you always did— a pause of his movements, hands around your waist tensing up for a second before he spoke up again— “ . . . no.”
you could only let out a small chuckle in response.
“as i thought.”
understanding you and himself would take some time, he knew that.
but for once, megumi wanted to understand— wanted to know you, wanted to have a taste of you— a taste of your love.
☆ @dontcarehowlongittakes on tumblr. do not copy or post any of my works without my permission.
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serverusslaype · 1 year ago
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Shameless, pt. 8
Severus Snape x professor!reader fic
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Shameless Masterpost
omg hi guys.............
i'm so sorry for leaving it this long, i just literally could not write anything, my brain was absolutely fogged up - probably because i had covid unknowingly lmao. this is another long chapter so i hope this makes up for it! <3
thank you for reading and for all your kind messages and support, i appreciate you all so much. i know i say this constantly but i really mean it. stay safe and keep healthy, guys!! love you :')
let's get this train on the ROAD!!!
The summer of '93 was an interesting feat, to say the least. Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban, and you'd found yourself dating someone you never thought you would.
You had not expected yourself to be caught up in a whirlwind type of romance, especially not by someone you'd despised back in school. Yet, here you were, arm in arm with none other than school menace, Benjamin Bluewater. The two of you were currently strolling through Hogsmeade, wide smiles spread across your rosy-cheeked, cold faces. The snow crunched beneath your feet as Ben wrapped an affectionate arm around your waist, pulling you close against him. You failed horribly at trying to hide the bashful smile that picked at the corners of your shivering lips.
"I'm gonna miss seeing you every other day." Ben said, giving you a squeeze.
"Yeah," you hummed happily, glancing up, "this summer has been very..." You trailed off, struggling to find the words. Ben glanced down at you, a lazy half-smile reaching his lips.
"Unexpected?" He chuckled, finishing your sentence for you.
A grin broke out on your face and Ben leant down to plant a soft kiss against your smiling mouth. "Definitely." You replied against his lips, nodding softly, letting your eyes fall back to the powdery-white trail in front of you as he pulled away. "You can visit me if it gets too hard." You teased, nudging him playfully with your elbow. It'd only been a month and a bit of seeing Ben, but he really had you hooked. Each time you saw him, the agonising thought of you and Snape melted away from your mind a little bit more. You felt like you'd finally got control - he was no longer dictating how you felt. However, you did feel a tad bit guilty. At times it felt like you were using Ben to get over the broody Potions Master. You didn't dare tell him about it either, you were pretty sure that he wouldn't take it well - in fact, you were certain he wouldn't. How would he believe that you'd fallen for the man that used to cause the pair of you grief in school? For starters, he used to be your teacher all those years ago, and secondly, in Ben's mind, he considered Snape an ugly old git.
"I think you'll be the first to crack, Y/N." Ben nudged you back, prompting a playful scoff to fall from your mouth. Ben's lips broke into a grin, pleased with your reaction.
"As if," You choked. "Wait, who was it again that turned up at my door the day after our first date? Oh yeah, you." You scrunched your nose up at him and poked out your tongue, though, your attention was soon hooked by the flash of what looked like a figure dressed in all-black. Your breath caught in your throat as your head snapped to the left, eyes flicking desperately between the forest of pine trees, searching  for what you thought you had seen. Ben picked up on your change in behaviour almost immediately.
It couldn't be, you thought, heart suddenly beginning to race.
"You okay?" His bushy brows furrowed at your unusual skittish demeanour, clearly worried about you. Ben's alarmed voice did not compute in your head. "Hey," His hand slipped from your arm and fell to your wrist, tugging it at it to pull you from your thoughts, inducing a soft gasp from you as you spun on your heel to face Ben. It looked as if you had just seen a ghost of some sort.
"What?" You questioned softly, blinking. Ben stared at you.
"You look like you've just seen a ghost, Y/N." He said, concerned. You swallowed and wet your lips, looking down at the ground as he brushed his thumb tenderly against your wrist.
"I'm alright." You looked back up at Ben, placing a forced smile upon your lips. He didn't seem convinced, though he didn't press you. He gave you the benefit of the doubt. "Just, err, just a little on edge, you know with, erm, the whole Sirius Black thing." You lied, a nervous chuckle leaving your throat.
"I don't think the mass murderer known as Sirius Black would bother himself with a place such as Hogsmeade, Y/N." Ben smiled, almost amusedly at you. You stayed silent, not sure what to say. Ben let his blue eyes to flick between yours, almost like he was attempting to read your mind. You broke the connection and glanced away, an uncomfortable feeling creeping up your spine. Ben sighed gently and looked ahead of the two of you. The town of Hogsmeade was settled in the distance, shrouded in a cloudy mist. An idea popped in his mind. "Would a tea or a hot beverage of some sort make you feel a little better?"
"Um, yes, I could go for a tea." You nodded lightly, looking back to Ben. A small smile graced his features as he let his warm hand slip into yours. The corners of your lips tugged upwards a little. Ben felt at ease once more as your pretty face was lit up with that bright smile of yours. He couldn't resist placing another sweet kiss upon your lips.
"Alright. Let's go, I know just the place."
You laid on your bed in your quarters at Hogwarts, the pale sunlight peeking through your curtains was slowly ceasing as the evening began to set in. Your mind was constantly reeling back to yesterday afternoon. You continuously replayed the memory of the flash of black in your mind, attempting to put a name to what it was. A sigh of frustration left your lips, leading into a groan. You refused to acknowledge who you thought it was. There was just no way.
All those feelings and thoughts that you'd buried and hidden away with the idea of Ben started to creep back out of it's cage and it frightened you. Perhaps it was foolish of you to think that you'd move on so quickly. A month and a bit was definitely not enough time to heal. Yes, you were unquestionably foolish to think that forty-three days was a satisfactory amount of time to rid yourself of the thought of someone you had been near almost every day for a year.
Whatever, you thought. It'll pass. It will... won't it?
Gods, now you were doubting yourself. You knew you still felt deeply for Snape, of course you did, you spent almost a whole year in his presence, but you thought dating someone else in the meantime would have solved some of that. Jesus, that's messed up. Were you just using Ben to get over Snape? This was so wrong on so many levels. You liked Ben, truly you did, but you always found yourself comparing him to Severus. The way he spoke, the way he moved... your mind was plagued with him, and you were an idiot to think that locking away the thought of Severus would do anything but help yourself. You did this to yourself, and now you deserved to deal with the consequences. You just had to act like your feelings for him didn't exist, maybe that would help. …Maybe it wouldn't, but that was the best idea you had right now.
You needed to clear your head, and badly. Your buzzing thoughts were starting to drown you. You quickly slipped out of your bed and headed out of your room, quietly shutting the door behind you. Just as you were about to turn around to walk down the hallway, a tall, shabby looking man stood in your way. He had light brown hair with flecks of grey in it, a fluffy moustache and a rather painful looking scar was scraped across the middle of his handsome face.
"Oh- hello," You said in surprise, confusion evident in your tone. The man smiled at you jovially, his eyes crinkling at the edges. He looked rather tired and pale. You tilted your head at him, furrowing your brows.
"I apologise for scaring you," The man pursed his lips as he attempted a light-hearted joke, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm Remus, err, Remus Lupin, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor." He added, his eyebrows raising a tad.
"Oh, yes, of course!" You instantly smiled, your cheeks turning a little red out of embarrassment. Lupin found it rather endearing. You scolded yourself for forgetting soemthing so important - Dumbledore had mentioned this the day before you left for Summer break. "I'm so sorry, it had totally slipped my mind. My name is Y/N L/N," Your smile widened as you held out a friendly hand for him to shake. "I'm the professor of Herbology here at Hogwarts."
"Ah," He nodded, returning your smile and shaking your hand. His grip was firm. "Lovely to meet you. I hope we get along well, Professor L/N." Remus said trustingly, his hands returning to his pockets. You clasped yours together, resting them against your hips out of habit.
"I'm sure we will, and please, call me Y/N." You grinned. Remus gave you a curt nod. "Is this your first day here?"
"Teaching yes, but in regards to having been here before? No." He replied.
"Oh?"
"I attended Hogwarts as a small boy, so it's a little nostalgic walking round the place again." Remus explained, earning a surprised look from you.
"It seems as though every single teacher here also used to be a student here." You laughed lightly, inducing an amused smile from the new professor.
"It seems that way, yes." Remus nodded.
"Well, I hope to see you around, Remus." You smiled politely at him, noticing the way he slumped slightly in posture, almost like he was trying to hide himself. Remus returned your smile and dismissed you with a nod, continuing past you with a slow gait. You let yourself think for a moment. Those scars looked pretty horrific, they looked rather... deep. A grimace twisted your facial features as your mind raced with quite gruesome and morbid theories on how Lupin had acquired those wounds. You shook your head rather vigorously as if to relieve your mind of the grisly images that were popping in and out of it.
The hallways and corridors of Hogwarts were peacefully empty once again. Students, old and new, were still back at home preparing for the next school year that began in just a couple days. Goosebumps erupted on your body out of anticipation as you thought about what the year could hold - though, you were mainly excited to get back to teaching your beloved subject. In fact, you'd missed it a lot over the summer. More than you expected to, despite the distraction called Ben.
A tiny smile flickered on your lips at the thought of him, your eyes glued to the floor in front of you as your feet carried you forwards, a cool chill wrapping itself around your bare shoulders. You were wearing a thick-ish, buttercup-yellow night dress; the sleeves reached your wrists, but it was a little baggy up top, causing the wide neckline to slip partially off your shoulder. The chill made you quickly pull it up with your fingers, enveloping yourself with your arms.
Bumping into Professor Lupin outside your room had caught you off-guard. The thought of grabbing a coat of some sort had slipped from your mind the second your curious and confused eyes fell onto him. You shivered slightly, cursing yourself for being so forgetful sometimes. It might have been late August, but Scotland's freezing climate left no survivors.
"Did you not think it unwise to go around strolling in such... poorly thought out attire, Professor L/N? It is almost as cold as the arctic." That deep voice that had caused you so much grief and heartache shot through your head like a stray bullet. You froze in your position, your breath hitching as you refused to turn around to acknowledge the man that spoke with such articulated words it seemed laughable. You felt like you couldn't move. Like you were in a glue trap, like a little mouse.
Eventually, you thawed. "I'm not cold." You replied shortly, reluctantly turning around to face Snape. Your heart instantly sped into a gallop as your eyes fell onto his tall, brooding figure. Then and there, thought of Ben entered your mind as you stared at the Potions Master, immediately comparing the two. You knew Ben didn't make your heart race like he did. Your shoulders suddenly slumped with guilt. You shouldn't be thinking any of this. Ben was good for you, he treated you with kindness and respect, and most of all, he actually liked you.
"Your trembling figure says otherwise." Snape tilted his head at you, scrutinising you. Right then you wanted to shrink down into nothingness. You couldn't bear to feel so vulnerable underneath his eyes. Somehow, Snape looked better than the last time you saw him. And you hated that. You were sure you looked utterly terrible right now.
"I'm fine." You said sternly, dragging out the syllables as you fought back the bitter glare that was itching to break out onto your face.
"Fine, hm..." Snape drawled, almost mocking and sarcastic, letting his dark eyes drop down your figure, studying your improper outfit. You hugged yourself tighter at the sight, cheeks suddenly burning as you felt rather self-conscious. His brows knitted together suddenly, like something had just clicked in his mind. "Why aren't you wearing a coat?"
You hesitated. "I forgot to grab one." Snape's brow arched at you disapprovingly. You fought the urge to groan at him. "I bumped into the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Remus Lupin, outside my door." You explained, tone flat. "It's not like you care whether I freeze to death or not anyway." You added, rather bitterly. Snape narrowed his eyes at you, glaring. He did care, but he would never show it. Not right now, at least.
"Lupin?" He repeated, ignoring your last comment as his jaw ticked out of irritation. You frowned at his odd reaction. "I suggest you stay away from him, Professor L/N. For your own..." Snape trailed off, pondering on his words as he let his eyes sweep over you in a patronising manner. "...good." He uttered, almost like a warning. You were completely and utterly confused. Why did Snape seem so unwelcoming towards Lupin, he'd just joined Hogwarts, unless there was... history between them? Was there?
"What's wrong with Remus?" You asked, eyes narrowing in curiosity and suspicion about his feelings regarding the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Snape's jaw clenched at the sound of Lupin's first name, almost like he flinched. "He seemed perfectly kind and pleasant earlier."
Snape didn't reply. A harsh, exasperated sigh fell through your nose as you rolled your eyes at the enigmatic man before you, growing tired of his games. Why did he always act so cryptic? What was the problem with telling you the truth? Would it be so bad?
Before you could protest and poke at his mind, Snape began to stalk away from you, prompting a curt scoff to leave your lips. Your teeth were gritted out of frustration as you stared at the back of his head. Christ, he really hadn't changed - he was still pissing you off at an almighty rate. At this point, it was impressive.
"Hey!" You exclaimed, forcing Snape to halt in his tracks. He turned his head to the left, silently encouraging you to continue. "Would you just answer me?"
"I don't owe you anything." Snape said rather coldly. You clenched your jaw rather angrily at his rude reply. Jesus, will this guy ever just bite the bullet for once and give in?
"When you tell me to 'avoid' Professor Lupin, I think that demands an explanation as to why I should, Snape," You said, shaking your head at him like he was daft. "You must be delusional to think otherwise!" That must have struck a nerve within the Potions Master, as he swiftly spun around, his cloak turning with him dramatically like a bat, making you shrink in regret. He stormed over to you, footsteps heavy and determined. You backed yourself up, a little unnerved by his sudden and intense approach towards you. Snape got right up in your face and you could feel his hot breath dance across your skin, sending anxious goosebumps down your spine. It felt like your heart was about to fall out of your chest from the high gear it had suddenly kicked into. 
How could- no, why was your body still reacting so fiercely to Snape? Weren't you meant to be focusing on Ben?
"Lupin is not who you think he is, Y/N." Snape warned, snapping you out of your thoughts. It nearly sounded like there was a hint of concern in his voice, like he was worried about you. You had to laugh at that, as if Snape - the man who had pretended like you didn't exist for half a year - cared for you. He'd never stoop to such a pathetic ideal. You brushed the hurtful lie under a dusty rug in your mind, averting your attention back to the pair of deep, obsidian-coloured eyes that sat mere inches away from your own.
"And how do you know that?" You challenged, a hint of venom in your voice as you mocked his serious tone. Snape sneered at you, leaning back from your face, like he was disgusted.
"Your ignorance is blinding." He replied bitterly, still refusing to explain anything to you. At this point he seemed like a child to you. From his the way he glared at you, and reeled back from your agitated little form, Snape seemed to be disappointed in you. You didn't think he had a leg to stand on with that idea.
And so, that was your last straw, you couldn't hold in your frustration anymore; it felt like all the pressure that had been building up beneath your skin was coming to a rise and it had finally burst at the seams. "Jesus, Snape!" You cried out, infuriated, your hands flying up to pull helplessly at your hair. "Why is it so hard for you to answer me?! Are you so incapable of that?!"
Snape seemed a little taken aback by your outburst as the ill feeling of deja vu began to seep into his bones. This felt a little too familiar: it reminded him of that night he found you drunk. Yet, right now, you were stone-cold sober, and still shouting the same things at him. In regards to your outburst, he truly hadn't seen it coming, and yet, he was almost always aware of how you were feeling. He could read you so easily. To him, you were like a book he'd read almost a thousand times. He remained quiet again, unsure of how to reply to your instantaneous combustion; a briefly-lived feeling of worry that he'd add more fuel to the fire.
He couldn't reveal the reason to you. He'd given Dumbledore his word that he would not speak of Lupin's condition. In fact, Snape had doubted Dumbledore's usually-wise judgement when he mentioned that he'd hired Lupin. The Potions Master thought the Headmaster had gone mad for openly inviting a werewolf into Hogwarts, let alone allowing him to teach classes full of children. And then, he'd found himself roped into producing the Wolfsbane potion so Lupin could keep his wretched condition of Lycanthropy at bay. Snape still doubted the whole idea. He knew it was doomed from the very beginning. Balancing the safety of Hogwarts on the constant, perfect production of a potion and the hope that Lupin was competent enough to remember to take it each day of the preceding week of a full moon?
Doomed, Snape thought.
Despite your best efforts of attempting to force the answer out of Snape, he knew you'd figure it out sooner or later once you noticed which ingredients he'd be borrowing from you. He had faith that you were smart enough to work it out. So, he stood straighter in front of you, wordlessly giving you his answer as he turned around to walk away from you.
No.
"A warm, warm welcome back to you all!" Dumbledore's raspy voice boomed through the Great Hall, the applause from students and staff alike to quickly quietening down. You were seated comfortably between McGonagall and Hagrid, and it felt awfully similar to last year. Just a year ago, you had no idea what you were strapping yourself in for. "Before we indulge ourselves in this delectable feast, I'd like to welcome Professor RJ Lupin, who will be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," Dumbledore said, turning around to gesture to Lupin with eccentric, wrinkly hands. The professor stood up goofily with anxiously-clasped hands, giving a grateful nod to the Hall as they applauded him. He caught your eye, and you sent him an encouraging smile, ignoring Snape's distasteful face beside Lupin.
"Good luck, professor! Now, our teacher for the Care of Magical Creatures for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs. Fortunately, I'm delighted to announce that his place will be taken than none other than our own, Rubeus Hagrid!" The Headmaster announced as he spun around to gesture to the half-man-half-giant sat happily beside you, a genial smile spreading across the Dumbledore's face. Applause and whoops erupted in the Hall once more as Hagrid gave a short nod and a cheerful smile to the hooting crowd. You rolled your eyes and elbowed him, prompting him to stand up, his large belly shoving the table forwards with a sharp screech; a handful of glass goblets falling over and smashing. McGonagall looked up at the newly-appointed professor rather disappointedly before eyes her goblet that now laid shattered before her.
"Finally, on a more describing note, at the request of the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts will until further notice play host to the dementors of Azkaban, until such a time Sirius Black is captured." Dumbledore said, a stern and serious tone taking place of his usual reserved one. Gods, how could you have forgotten? Mass murderer Sirius Black was still on the loose. Apparently the thought of Snape was enough to distract you from a highly important news article. And now, one of the most feared creatures of the Wizarding World was going to be lingering around Hogwarts? This was not what you signed up for. Your teeth started to chew against the inside of your bottom lip anxiously.
"Will they be on the school grounds?" You whispered to Minerva beside you, failing miserably at trying to hide the shaky fear within your voice. She instantly looked at you, smiling softly. You'd always had a phobia of dementors, and now the fact that they were going to be lurking around the school had put you on edge. Merlin, can this year get any worse?
"I'm not sure, my dear." Minerva replied to you quietly, subtly noticing the fear swimming in your eyes. The older witch placed a hand upon yours in an attempt to soothe your anxiety. "There's nothing to worry about, I assure you." You merely nodded at her, unbelieving. Nothing to worry about, sure. It's not like some savage, minacious murderer is on the loose.
"The dementors willl be stationed at every entrance to the grounds." There goes your sanity. "Now, whilst I've been assured that their presence will not disrupt our day-to-day activities, a word of caution: dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt, and the one who gets in their way." You hated the way that Dumbledore spoke of the dementors, and it hardly settled your trembling and anxious mind. No, in fact, it bloody well worsened it. The old man was basically saying if you get in their way, it's a death sentence. They have no sense to decide whether you're a threat or not, or they just don't care.
Either way, you were screwed. You could not produce a Patronus charm, let alone a corporeal one, and it was something that played on your mind a lot. You could never find the right memory to do so. Every happy memory you flicked through in your mind, it just wasn't happy enough. So, if you came into contact with a dementor, you were, let's say, royally fucked. Was your life that sad?
"Therefore, I must warn each and every one of you, give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving. But, you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light." The Headmaster finished with a cryptic riddle, making you sigh a little heavier than expected, catching an intrigued look from Hagrid. Sorry, but what the fuck does that even mean, Dumbledore? You were well aware that Dumbledore was undoubtedly an ingenious and powerful wizard, but sometimes, the things that came out of his mouth just sounded like nonsense. Maybe he just said those random things to keep up his mysterious act.
As you looked up from the nervous, fidgeting fingers in your lap, your eyes locked with that same pair of black, emotionless ones that were staring so deeply into yours just last night. Immediately, you looked away, your cheeks flushing red out of embarrassment, and perhaps, suppressed affection. There was that weighty feeling of guilt again, finding your shoulders once more. Ben's smiling face materialised in your mind as you shut your eyes, attempting to rid yourself of the buzzing feeling that Snape had awakened within you. With just one look into his eyes, you were melting back into your old ways.
You heard the creaking of a chair shift beside you as a gentle mass poked your side. "A'right down there?" Hagrid questioned quietly, noticing your subtle change in demeanour. You were suddenly stiff in your seat.
"Yeah, yeah, fine thanks, Hagrid." You cleared your throat, avoiding those two addicting pools of inky-black.
"Hmm." Hagrid hummed beside you, obviously skeptical about your curt response. He let his eyes flick to where you were previously looking, his stomach sinking as he spotted the broody cause of your sudden mood change. Hagrid didn't bother pressing you for answers, he knew you had enough on your plate, and he would rather you come to him. The last time you spoke about your problems regarding Snape, you were in tears, or you would burst into tears, there wasn't really an inbetween.
Silently, you were thankful that the newly-appointed professor beside you chose to keep shtum.
As you glanced back to where Snape sat, he was completely avoiding your eyes too, however, as you continued looking over in his direction, the wave of a hand beside the Potions Master caught your eye. Flicking your gaze to the right, you noticed it was Lupin waving sheepishly at you, a kind smile tugging at his scarred lips. You returned his smile and waved back, turning to the professors beside you as he glanced away from you.
"Professor Lupin seems to be a kind soul." You commented outloud, a genial smile upon your lips. McGonagall glanced at you, eyeing your curiously.
"Yes," She agreed slowly, her eyes gently dissecting you. "Have you met before?"
"No, I just bumped into him a couple nights ago, by my door."
"Yer' door?" Hagrid repeated in an octave higher than usual, intrigued.
"He just happened to be there when I walked out." You frowned, wide eyes looking up at the gigantic man, trying to understand what he was insinuating.
"Right, right." Hagrid quickly said, almost awkwardly as his cheeks reddened a tad, averting his eyes from your suspicious ones. Minerva's lips quirked into a small, amused smirk as she glanced between you and Hagrid. "Well, this food looks delicious, ay?" He cleared his throat, raising his brows as he glanced down at your plates that were now burdened with a generous amount of steaming hot meat and vegetables. You couldn't help but laugh softly to yourself at Hagrid's awkwardness. It was sweet to you.
Before you let yourself indulge in the plate full of food in front of you, you dared to look in the direction of a certain gloomy individual. Snape had already begun to eat, which surprised you. He usually takes a few bites and retires to his office, but this time, he'd stayed. You frowned to yourself as you stared at him, observing the glum way he kept to himself, avoiding any kind of conversation. Once more, you found yourself yearning for him. And yet again, your heart and mind were telling you two different things.
"Isn't that a Mimbulus Mimbletonia plant, professor?" Came Neville Longbottom's curious voice, his inquisitive eyes dragging over the plant you held cautiously in your arms. A cheery smile graced your lips as you nodded at the boy.
"Yes, indeed it is, Mr Longbottom." You said proudly, inducing a thrilled smile from Neville. "Can anyone tell me what it's uses are?" You asked, glancing around your greenhouse at mostly confused faces. You had an inkling that none of them would know the answer, perhaps apart from Hermione or Neville, who you noticed seemed to excel in Herbology. Though, Hermione wasn't in your class this morning. So to you, it was all down to Neville.
"Stinksap, right?" Neville answered quickly, his bunny-like teeth sticking out from underneath his top lip as he stared at you, awaiting your reply.
"Correct, and what can we use stinksap for?" You questioned, your smile widening at Neville. A sense of accomplishment suddenly tickled your body - maybe your students were listening to you and learning. You were a little worried that you hadn't exactly made an impact on them. As you got lost in your fretting thoughts, a light voice you weren't familiar with caught your attention. You turned towards the dark-haired girl, her deep blue eyes lighting up with confidence as she retrieved you from the abyss that you unfortunately called your mind.
"Stinksap can be used in certain potions as it contains very good healing properties," Alisa Arumina spoke up, earning a tilt of your head. You nodded at her, encouraging the girl to continue. "However, you have to be extra cautious when handling such a plant as this one since it will squirt out rather rancid smelling sap. Hence the name, stinksap." She finished, a sheepish smile upon her lips. You grinned proudly at her.
"Yes, lovely! Ten points to Ravenclaw, Miss Arumina." You carefully placed the plant down upon the table you were all gathered around. Before you could continue on to explain how to care for it, a distraught sounding voice called from behind you, at the door to your greenhouse.
"Professor L/N," Madam Pomfrey called out, her voice shaky. Immediately, you spun around with a worried frown upon your face. She sighed. "There's been an accident, do you have any mature Mandrakes ready for use? A Wiggenweld potion is required at once." Madam Pomfrey's eyes looked afraid. This must be serious, what the hell happened? You thought as your heart began to anxiously pick up in pace.
"Err," You stumbled over your words, blinking quickly. "Yes, yes, of course. I'll have them delivered to you immediately." You nodded in a poor attempt to assure the terrified look upon Madam Pomfrey's face. It didn't work.
"I'm afraid Professor Snape has asked for you to go to him right away." She said regretfully. Of course he fucking did, you groaned inwardly. 
"Is it so hard for you to come and retrieve the Mandrakes yourself?" You demanded as you burst through Snape's classroom door, your irked eyes finding Snape's startled ones. Though, just as quickly as he had looked startled by your sudden entry to his room, he had returned back to his usual angry glare, shooting it directly at you.
"Is it so hard for you to knock before entering?" Snape grunted at you, rubbing his fingers in circles against his temples. He lifted a hand and patted the empty space on his desk beside him. "Place the mandrakes here." You scrunched up your nose at him in disgust,
"I'll put them there once you tell me what the hell is going on."
"Your dear friend, Professor Rubeus Hagrid, thought it wise to introduce the children to a hippogriff on their first lesson together." Snape sneered as he rose from his desk in a slow and intimidating manner, his hands splayed out across the deeply grooved, dark wood surface. "I knew he was an oaf, but I at least thought he had retained some form ofhuman intelligence. Perhaps even common sense!" He exclaimed, his brows glued together in fury. Your brows mirrored his own as he insulted your friend. "A student was injured, Professor L/N, a student of my house." Ah, so that's why he's so upset. "Draco Malfoy." Riiight, it's adding up now, you thought, your anger simmering down slightly at the utterance of a student being injured.
You knew Hagrid wasn't incompetent, he was smart enough to not put students in the way of danger, but maybe this was a very big mistake. Perhaps he was too... eager. A hippogriff is a highly dangerous animal, especially if the students are not taught how to approach one beforehand. A strained sigh left your nostrils as you clenched your jaw, averting your eyes from a fuming Snape.
"Is he alright?" You asked, hesitating. "Hopefully he didn't lose a limb..." You muttered whilst perching yourself down upon a stool to your right.
"By the grace of the gods, Malfoy's arm was merely scratched," Snape seethed, clearly still very angry. Maybe it'd be best if you just left now, you did leave your class unsupervised for this visit. The thought of being a hypocrite niggled at your mind as you thought back to the time you'd chastised Lockhart for doing the same thing. But, this wasn't the same thing right? This was urgent, his was... whatever, you're better than that babbling, bumbling baboon anyway.
"So, it wasn't even a big injury...?" You repeated, frowning. "A little... scratch and you're almost losing your hair over it?"
"I think you're missing the point, Professor L/N, as always," Snape scoffed at you, earning a resentful glare from your eyes. "Hagrid has proved himself to be incapable of handling a class safely. I mean, a student injured and sent to the hospital on the very first lesson? Seems like a bad omen, if I do say so myself."
"Oh, please, Snape," A frustrated, heavy sigh left your nostrils again as you glanced to the side. "It's his first day!" You laughed incredulously, defending your friend. Sure, Hagrid might have misjudged this lesson by a smidge, however, you knew he would never put students in harms way.
"His first day, and his incompetency has resulted in injury!" Snape replied bitterly. He clearly didn't like Hagrid, and it was very obvious. He only ever spoke bad about the man, and it angered you. Hagrid was more than just an... 'oaf'. "Those... beasts... should have never been allowed at Hogwarts, regardless." Snape's nose crinkled in disgust.
"Give him the benefit of the doubt!" You cried out at Snape hopelessly. "And Buckbeak is a perfectly good hippogriff, you have no idea what you're talking about."
"How would you know that?" Snape's lips curled up into a distasteful sneer once again. Your cheeks ran hot as rage boiled beneath them at his comment.
"Because I know Buckbeak, Snape," You seethed at him with your fists balled, "Buckbeak would never do such a thing unless he felt threatened or insulted!" A hand flew up to wipe at your face, your breathing becoming ragged and hopeless. As you glanced back at Snape, he paused for a moment, his lips curling into an amused, incredulous smirk at your words. He couldn't believe what had just fallen from your mouth. Did he hear you correctly? Were you truly so delusional?
"You 'know' Buckbeak? Don't be absurd, Y/N." Snape huffed at you, his eyes narrowing as the corners of his lips tugged downwards disdainfully. "Buckbeak is a wild creature, it is hopelessly foolish of you to believe you can understand, much less, tame one!" He said, strained, his knuckles turning white from the aggressive, vice-like grip he had on his desk.
"These creatures are deeper than you think, Snape," you frowned, eyes stormy and reckless, unknowingly searching for trouble. His long fingers flew up to massage the bridge of his nose, clearly growing more fed up by the second. "Perhaps you'd understand if you had a heart within that empty chest of yours." A curt, exasperated sigh tore from your nostrils. Though, before you could take back your words, a blanket of regret wrapped itself around your seething body, your once-stormy eyes widening a tad as the realisation of what you had just uttered began to seep in. The sudden silence in the room was unbearably thick.
Snape's eyebrow twitched as he raised his head. Slowly, he fixed you with a dark, scrutinising gaze, rendering you speechless. Your body froze. "Bold, today, are we?" Snape's deep, stinging voice cut through the quietness like razors, reaching your ears like a thousand sharp pins.
You didn't answer him, fearing you might provoke him further. You'd never seen him like this. Dark, unnerved, fervent. It was terrifying to you. Perhaps you did cross the line. Gods, what had you done? Couldn't you have just brought the Mandrakes and sodded off? Jesus.
Snape marched towards you without a word, his cloak billowing out behind him like a flag. You couldn't help but notice the fury emanating from every single inch of his body, prompting your cheeks to flare up in a wild, raging blush. You had no time to defend yourself from Snape's long, cold and slender fingers as they clutched your jaw in force, shooting a frightening yet delicious shiver down your spine. A soft surprised gasp escaped your throat as he pushed you off of the stool you were sat on, a loud bang breaking through the silence as it clattered to the floor. Your back was instantaneously pressed against the table behind you as Snape shoved your backwards from the hold of your jaw, your eyes pooling with sudden panic as his fingers tightened against your skin, bound to leave marks. Fearfully, the palms of your hands flew to steady yourself against the edge of the table he'd rammed you against; your back arched painfully as he leaned right into your face, a spine-chilling scowl adopting his features.
The two of you were mere inches away from each other. Snape bared his teeth at you in a sneer, almost like he was revolted by your presence. He let his thumb slip upwards from your chin to the skin just beneath your bottom lip, pressing it against your teeth. Your eyes were forced to stare into his, his ones cold and penetrating in a way that only Snape's could be. Your heart was pounding so loud in your ears that at this point that you were afraid you'd go deaf. 
Both of your chests heaved laboriously, leaning against one another, like you'd just sprinted for a mile without stopping for a break. As you stared into Snape's threatening eyes, you felt your body numb, his signature scent of sweet wine, books and smoke invading your nose like it was nothing. Against your will, your body welcomed it and you felt yourself relapsing from the addicting smell. With wild eyes locked together, you saw something else swimming in his wicked, black eyes. They almost looked pained, helpless, maybe even like they were... yearning? Your eyes flicked over his face gradually, slowly drinking him in. Whilst the two of you stared at each other, trapped between one another's body, a fluttering sensation slowly materialised in your gut, prompting your eyes to fall to Snape's angry, quivering lips. The undeniable urge to press your lips against his own was scratching at you like a desperate caged animal. You inhaled sharply and blinked, averting your hungry eyes back to his own, distracting yourself from such thoughts. Again, you found yourself lost in him.
Before you even had a chance to look deeper, Snape's bone-chilling voice tore you from your thoughts. You felt as if he'd noticed you spotting something deeper lingering within him.
"Get. Out." Snape spat, roughly releasing you from his grip, your hand flying up to soothe your aching jaw. You stood there, your arched back and splayed out hands against the edge of the wooden table, flabbergasted. Snape stalked back to his desk acting like the previous minute did not just happen. For once, you obliged and stood up straight, your feet immediately rushing forwards to carry yourself out of Snape's classroom in absolute silence, face blank with shock. As you shut the door behind you, you paused in your footsteps for a moment, eyes locked absentmindedly on the cobblestone ground in front of you.
What the fuck had just happened? Can the two of you no longer have normal interactions? You always have to be at each other's throats each time?
Your fingers lifted up to your face and traced where Snape's fingertips had been pressed into the skin on your jaw, a dull soreness emitting from the area as you touched it. That's definitely going to leave a mark.
Fuck.
You just hoped Ben didn't visit you for another week or so. There was absolutely no way you could explain this without it seeming super fucking suspicious. Oh jeez, Ben. How were you meant to face him when you'd just been on the verge of kissing Snape? It was just in the heat of the moment, obviously... Was it? Did he feel it too? No, of course he didn't, he looked like he wanted to kill you.
A frustrated groan bubbled in your throat as you stomped away from Snape's classroom door, heading back to your class.
Merlin, were you fucked.
Part 9!
hey guys.... i hope you enjoyed this part, i apologise again for how long it took me omfg. i'm ashamed. :( i just couldn't get the creative juices flowing, then i got covid (which im still battling). like bruh give me a BREAK PLEASE.
anyway, i already have part 9 planned out so i'm hoping it wont be as long to type up!! <3 love you guys.
please let me know what you thought!! also what are your patronuses if you have one?! mine is a snowy owl :)
taglist: (i hope i haven't missed anyone or added anyone by accidient!! if i have i'm sorry and please tell me!!)
@a-laufeyson
@emilynissangtr
@livillain00
@meowskii
@nooneeveryonenoone
@vesperbatty
@biggest-simp-eversposts
@881127fara
@freshmoneyalmondathlete
@sonoluvr22
@v3lv3tvampir3
@lashipperrubia
@camilla-black
@acakius
@hiddlestonspassionsackx
@tellatubbies
@mikariell95
@sunshinemink
@m0rtifiedg0th
@spookymicrowave
@sayonara30
@novas-dreamworld
@ms-snape
@captainrogers-19
@allygranger
@nataliewalker93
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simpingforthemm · 5 months ago
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Hello angel face 🌷
I fell so head over heels in love with your writing ^-^
I was wondering if I could request a headcanon on dating Isaac from My life with the walter boys?
Sending you lots of love ♡
~ 🧸
dating isaac garcia headcanons
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a/n: omg not you making me blush 🤭❤️ thank you so much ❤️❤️ and ofc! I really enjoyed writing this since Isaac is so asfjlskjk 😍 I hope you enjoy!
words: 1.4k
summary: what it would be like to date isaac garcia
• as we all know, Isaac is a total ladies man and he has girls all over town crushing on him
• but he's not searching for anything serious with any of them
• if he were to really get into a relationship, his girlfriend would have to stand out
• he wouldn't want to date someone who blindly falls for him without really knowing him
• he wants that slow-burn enemies to lovers typa shit 😌
• me personally I think Isaac would go for an outsider girl who's kinda mysterious
• also probably someone who has a good sense of style and an interest in fashion
• he wants a girl who doesn't just simply agree with everything he says or does, he wants her to call him out on his bullshit, scold him if he's being an asshole etc!
• bc even tho he loves all the attention he gets from girls and he loves when they swoon over him, that stuff can get boring real quick and he just wants someone to be real with him!
• when you first meet, you don't think much of Isaac
• you are of the opinion that he's arrogant af and extremely entitled
• he's the popular guy and you're just chilling with your small friend group, away from all the high school drama
• it's only when you're paired as lab partners in chemistry and have to sit next to each other that you're forced to talk more (forced proximity y'all 😌😌)
• you bicker for a few weeks, exchanging snarky comments
you: "you really have no idea what the periodic table is? fucking stupid ass himbo"
Isaac: "oh so you're saying I'm good looking? can't even insult me properly huh?"
you: "oh stfu"
• it's only until both of you burst out laughing at some stupid video the teacher showed you in class
• and both of you are looking at each other like ????
• "I didn't know you had a good sense of humor too?"
• then both of you find yourself more often than not laughing at the same things
• you start making jokes to each other in classes, still bickering with each other but the bickering turning more into play fighting??
• also now you don't despise having to work together as lab partners anymore
• sometimes you also purposely sit next to each other in different classes just because it's more fun together
• yet both of you would never admit that
• lots of people from school are surprised about your new acquaintance with Isaac bc what is this popular guy doing with this outsider girl?
• but Isaac doesn't care about what other people think bc you're actually really chill and fun to be around
• one day, Isaac decides he's sick of conversing with his admirers and finds that your bickering with him is far more interesting and also more intellectually stimulating (yes 😂) than just having a bunch of girls stare at him with heart eyes swooning over him and just nodding at everything he's saying
• so at lunch he goes over to your friend group's table (actually just you and your two friend's table 😌) and asks if he can sit with you
• your two friends are like : 🤨🤨🤨him?
• but you're like: nah nah guys he's cool
• so you guys are just chilling together for lunch and he realizes what he's been missing out on!!
• he actually gets along with you and your friends so well bc y'all are also fashion mfs like him and not football ppl like his other friends lmao (tho he mostly hangs out with his cousins)
• after lunch he asks you if you want to hang out after school sometime and chill just the two of you, which surprises you but ofc you say yes
• on your first hangout you go to get matcha 🍵 and talk about art (I could imagine that also being one of Isaac's interests) and fashion, also like your fav brands and stuff and how both of you want to model/design/study fashion etc. in your future
• you also deep talk about his dad a lil and how Isaac mostly grew up at the Walter's house bc his dad is in the army
• your hangouts get more frequent and soon you realize it's more than friendship for both of you and that you actually are like in love with each other
• both of you used to always chat during class and laugh together which you still do but now it's just with a little bit of tension and awkwardness bc you're now crushing on each other
"hahaha...yeah that was um... really funny😅haha"
• and somehow Isaac can't flirt with you like he does with other girls bc with the other girls it was never genuine, he didn't really care about them but with you it's like...
• he really likes you and he doesn't wanna f it up
• I think he would get a lil more touchy tho as he realizes he likes u
• for example: you're out at the cinema watching an indie movie together and he puts an arm around you
• you're like: you've never done that before 🤨🤨🤨
• but then you have to hide your blush bc omg!! 😳 he just put his arm around you
• I feel like Isaac is a scaredy cat so he tells you he loves you over text 😭
• he doesn't even tell you he likes you first, bro just goes all out with the L word
• you've just woken up, it's like 6am on a Sunday and you see a text from Isaac from like an hour ago 💀💀
• "I think I'm in love with you lmao"
• and you immediately call him bc wtf???
• you ask him: "is this one of your jokes?" bc ain't no way are you gonna confess too only to be told it's a prank
• "no, no... it's true"
• "and you decided to tell me this over text?? literally wtf Isaac"
• then you're silent for a while and just say "I can't believe I'm about to say this on the phone but...I feel the same"
• then you meet up that same day and the second you meet you're literally laughing saying: "literally wtf Isaac"
• "sorry I, uh.. didn't know how else to say it..", he says awkwardly, looking away bc he's blushingg
• "well, it's fine because.. I love you too"
• Isaac literally perks up even though you've already said you feel the same, it's different hearing you say it in front of him
• then you guys have your first kiss which is literally life changing for Isaac because so far he's only ever kissed girls like for fun and not because he's fallen for them
• so this is a very new experience for Isaac
• you show up as a couple at school the next day and walk the hallways holding hands 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼
• everybody is confused and asks Isaac: "really? her?"
• he answers: "yeah, why? she's cool af?? and I'm literally in love with her??!!"
• so let's talk about your relationship
• you both match fits often and are basically the most stylish couple at school
• you also go thrifting together!
• you guys have a very strong emotional bond and talk about anything and everything literally
• you're his rock and his best friend, he tells you everything
• and by that I mean literally everything
• he also tells you about every prank he plans / has done and he also tells you about the putting bleach in Jackie's shampoo bottle prank
• which you immediately scold him for bc why is he putting that poor girl through this when she's literally still adjusting to the new life in the Walter's house after having to leave her home because her parents died?
• at school you go to Jackie to apologize for Isaac's behavior and offer to help with her hair, which she gladly accepts
• this leads to you and Jackie becoming best friends and to her joining your little friend group with your 2 friends
• (you guys are a better influence on her than Skylar and Grace)
• you also get invited to Walter family events, for example Will's wedding or Thanksgiving
• you can be a bit shy so you always cling to Isaac and Jackie whenever you're there
• But Katherine makes you warm up quickly with her good-hearted nature and you find yourself feeling comfortable in the Walter's home pretty soon
• you get along with Lee pretty well and you just fit in perfectly with the whole bunch
• your parents also love him bc he's literally your prince charming 💕
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roseofcards90 · 1 year ago
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I definitely agree that a lot of that diss track at the end is Kotoko also projecting her insecurities onto the other prisoners, not only calling them out rather shallowly, but also just the fact that her voice breaks right at the end??? The way in which she ends with Es, who is supposed to be her foil and the one she calls an “unloved warden” it’s like damn Kotoko you couldn’t be more apparent with the way you were probably treated back then huh 😭
I wanted to try and analyze the diss track more tbh LMAO but I don’t think we have enough information to really draw some good comparisons between Kotoko and the other prisoners for that. I can totally see some similarities for a few of them, but for others it’s a bit more unclear (Yuno is one of them like you mentioned). But these are the ones that come to my mind for Kotoko’s similarities with everyone else:
Haruka - hatred of childhood self because they were too weak (I just realized this but the fact that Haruka’s t1 song is called Weakness omg)
Yuno - ??? (I have no idea for this one tbh 😭 my best guess would be that they’re both hiding behind a mask, so their true selves are obscured a lot of the times)
Futa - ideals and handing out their own form of justice
Mu - putting yourself above everyone else in order to protect yourself, thinking that you were in the right and that you have done nothing wrong
Shidou - ??? (This one I’m speculating that family might be their similarity considering Kotoko’s symbolism with wolves and them being pack animals but I’m not completely sure. Another one could possibly be failing to save someone close to you if Kotoko did have someone close to her back then who she lost)
Mahiru - love and forgiveness
Kazui - lies and deceit, massive self-hatred (sorry Kazui 💀)
Amane - how the cycle of cruelty affects you and how Kotoko is a mirror of what Amane could be when she's older
Mikoto - protection through action(?) is the best way I can describe it, like with how they both use their own physical strength to protect either themselves or others
Es - foil in the narrative and holding up one’s duty
It’s very obvious though I feel like in Yonah, just with the way Kotoko switches up so easily with Es, it really makes you wonder if she never had that kind of emotional stability with an adult. Always changing, never predictable with what they’re gonna do or how they’re gonna react, so you have to watch them closely, just like how Kotoko does for everyone else in the prison.
When Kotoko thinks Es is being weak, she calls them out. When they are in clear distress, she wants to hug them, comfort them no matter what and reassure them that she will continue to act as their fang and do the “dirty work”. It’s like you said, she probably hated her childhood self for being weak, but she still wanted the comfort, she still wanted the protection she never got. So she gives it to Es because she probably sees a lot of her childhood self in them.
I didn't notice that similarity before with Mahiru not wanting to admit that she's not okay, so she crumbles underneath the pressure of trying to be continuously happy, just like how Kotoko is crumbling underneath the weight of justice. Interesting!!!
Also her having a difficult time trying to relax so she spends her free time mediating is an interesting detail from this interrogation:
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And in Harrow, her movements are quick like a flinch but she seems like she's on edge a lot of the times too:
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Constantly looking over her shoulder as if someone is there watching her:
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Idk it's just all very interesting! I know people are looking forward to Undercover callbacks in the Deep Cover mv but tbh I just want Kotoko lore man 😭 I NEED MORE LORE
Kotoko lives to protect the weak. In her mind she serves the weak but the weak also serve her. They are her reason to live. Saving them makes her feel good about herself. She exists to save the weak and the weak exist to giving her a propose.
mahiru lives to love her boyfriend/be a good wife. She exists for him and their relationship by extension him exists to give her a reason to exist.
idk if this makes sense
but its like the idea of how they have formed their identities off of loving/saving other people but end up hurting those people because What they wanted was a propose and to fulfil their desire to the point they hurt and disregarded the party they were trying to protect/love. Kotoko wanted to punish the “evil” and mahiru wanted to be this ideal wife
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Its not about what the boy friend needs in the relationship (not cake) it’s about mahiru loving him.
its not about what the weaklings want its about kotoko protecting them.
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jinhyun · 2 years ago
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—mean it.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader, oc x reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader
word count: 16.2k (i'm so sorry omg)
summary: hyunjin crashing at a party he wasn't initially invited to, with the one and only purpose of seeing you, could either go incredibly wrong... or incredibly right.
warnings: mansion party, drinking, cursing, heavy making out, foreplay, very slight fingering and handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), MINORS DNI!!!!
a/n: hellooo, here it is!! this monster of a one shot!!! i am so sorry to those of you who aren't into long fics (i feel you my bbs i'm one of them lol) but you can always take your time and read this in a couple of days or something idk :')
either way i hope you guys enjoy and please, please, pleaseeee let me know your thoughts on this. it really took me more effort and time than i had initially calculated lmao and i would really love to gossip about it with you guys<3
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Feelings were something Hyunjin had avoided all his life. Or at least for as long as he had learned the meaning of them, along with the implications of being in a formal relationship with the one person you allegedly had said feelings for.
He just didn't understand why anyone would want to complicate things with them, when they could simply live in the moment and be with anyone they wanted, whenever they wanted. No strings attached seemed like Heaven, and the best way to live your life.
It had worked for him all these years. No complications. No misunderstandings. Just meaningless sex, with girls who knew beforehand they would not be getting anything else from him. If they were lucky enough, they might get to be with him more than once in the name of having a good time, but that was it. That was all they would ever get. That was all he would ever give to someone.
Up until you came into the picture.
You had come to change his entire world without a warning, as you were the exact opposite to him by not being afraid of your feelings — if anything, being in love with the whole concept of them. You were shameless when it came to them. You were in love with the idea of love.
You had feelings for him, and you did not try to hide it one bit. You knew that he knew about them, yet you did not try to play it cool or to even deny it. No, you embraced it. And that was both annoying and terrifying to Hyunjin.
He didn't know how to react to that. He didn't like feelings. He didn't want complications. He didn't want commitment.
But then he found himself caring a little too much about you and Changbin hooking up.
And he found himself looking for excuses to spend time with you.
And feeling his chest tighten at both the sight and thought of you and his friend.
Until he kissed you. And suddenly he didn't only feel all that about you and his friend alone, but about you and anyone else. You and anyone who wasn't him.
He started caring a little too much about you. Wanting to be with you at all times. Wanting to kiss you at all times. Wanting to talk to you, to make you laugh. Wanting to make you feel better whenever you were down, and be there with you through all your achievements.
He started wanting you all to himself.
Just like that, he got caught in the complications he never wanted, and the commitment he had so diligently tried to avoid.
And it took him to lose you for it to hit him why he had found himself caught in all those situations he so confidently claimed to despise.
Feelings. That was the answer. His feelings for you. The very ones he had tried his best to look past and now could no longer deny.
The very ones that ended up bringing him into a house —not to say mansion— he had never been to before, surrounded by people who were mainly strangers to him, looking for the one person amongst all of them he only cared about.
Changbin had called Soyeon as soon as they arrived at the mansion, so she could open the door for them and let them into the party they were both crashing at. Hyunjin only got to greet her before he realised he was third wheeling a matter of seconds later — flashbacks to that one time he had found them making out in Minhyuk's kitchen coming to mind and making him cringe, being enough to excuse himself from them and decide to wander around on his own instead.
Taking a look around, he couldn't help but curse under his breath over how fucking big the place was. He was pretty sure the fancy living room alone was bigger than his entire shared apartment with Seungmin and Bin. The marble stairs to the second floor looked straight out of an upper class movie, and he failed at counting all the doors that were at simple sight.
How the hell was he supposed to find you in here?
He was not giving up that easily, though. He had literally only come here because of you, after all. So, with a subtle shake of his head, he made his way through the many acting majors so he could reach what he thought would be the kitchen. You being there getting a refill or just hanging out seemed like a very high possibility.
Only you were not.
There were only a few people in there, and after doing a double take, he came to terms with you simply not being there. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to the counter and poured himself a drink, taking a sip of it as he pulled his phone out and scrolled down on Twitter — maybe you had posted something that could give him an idea about where exactly you were inside this endless-looking place.
"Hyunjin?"
His head snapped towards where his name had came from — having been too focused on his phone to fully take in the femenine voice, yet hoping he would lock eyes with you. Instead, he found himself locking them with Lee Somin, an acting major he had met at a party last year and ended up taking back home that same night.
"Somin…" he couldn't help but sound disappointed.
"Hey" she smiled. "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while".
"Yeah, it's been like… a year?" his eyebrows knitted together deep in thought.
"I'm pretty sure we ran into each other last term" her lips curved up in a way he could tell she was flirting. "But yeah, a year more or less".
Hyunjin nodded, silently looking down into his cup as he considered taking another sip.
In all honesty, he couldn't care less — neither to remember how long had it been, nor to keep this conversation going. It had only been a one time thing, after all. He had maybe seen her one or two times on campus after that. Not important enough for him to keep track of.
He should have considered the possibility of running into his past hookups when coming here. Any other time, he wouldn't have minded. Three or maybe even two months ago, he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. But tonight he only wanted to find you. Entertaining any kind of conversation with those he had been with at some point before you was truly not part of his plans.
"Didn't think you'd be here" Somin gave it another shot at initiating small talk.
"I wasn't," he blurted out. "I mean, it was last minute".
"Couldn't turn down having some fun, huh?" she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him.
Hyunjin moved away, slightly, not to seem rude. "Uh, yeah… I just…"
"Maybe we could stick together" she proposed with a smirk, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was way past tipsy by now. "We had lots of fun together last time".
"I'm actually here with someone" he confidently informed her, both to her and his own surprise.
"Oh? I thought dating wasn't really your scene?"
"It wasn't," he agreed. "It just sort of happened".
"Who's the lucky girl then?"
Hyunjin shrugged.
Y/N. You. Of course that was the answer, what he wanted to believe — what he wanted to be true. But going around telling people that you two were together was not the most ideal of moves. Not when it was not true. Not when he was trying to win you over again and didn't want to hurt you nor make you mad any further.
"Well?" she pushed it. "Don't make me think you're only making it up to keep me from taking you home with me tonight".
He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink and muffling his answer. "Y/N".
"What?"
"Y/N," he repeated, louder this time after having swallowed. "I'm with Y/N".
The smirk that had just curved up her lips at the sound of your name almost made him sick to his stomach. "The artist?"
He nodded.
Somin shook her head in amusement. She did not believe him for shit.
"I mean, I heard that around a couple of times but I just couldn't believe it" she chuckled. "You guys must be in a pretty messy relationship then, considering she's been very lovey dovey with Na Heesung tonight".
Hyunjin found himself physically having to bite his tongue, not to say anything he'd regret later. "You know where she is right now?"
She shook her head no. "I ran into them like an hour ago and I haven't seen them since. Maybe they're in the backyard, or in a room upstairs".
Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist at the last remark. There was no way, right? You couldn't possibly be hooking up with Heesung as they spoke.
"Funny" he took another sip, letting his body lean against the counter.
"I mean it, though" she cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen a few couples go upstairs and not come back yet. Apparently it is a thing to hook up in a mansion with as many rooms as an apartment complex. Not like Yurim cares anyway".
"She wouldn't" Hyunjin mumbled.
"Y/N?" Somin wondered, looking up at him before her stare softened. "You guys are really together?"
Once again, he fell silent, staring into his cup like his life depended on it and shrugging her question off.
As if on cue —and almost as manifested by him— your laugh was heard in the living room, getting closer by the second. And before Hyunjin could straighten himself up in order to walk towards where he had heard your voice, you entered the kitchen. Much to his disdain, in the company of the one and only Na Heesung.
"Hyunjin-ah" you said the moment your eyes abandoned Heesung and locked with Hyunjin's first thing, clearly surprised by his presence.
"Hey, Y/N…" he smiled, not bothering to acknowledge the guy next to you who had just excused himself to pour yourselves a new drink.
Hyunjin would be damned to look at anyone else right then as you were right in front of him looking like that. You had gone for the black dress you had shown him through the picture he had whined for, and if he had died at the sight of you in it through his phone's screen, he was sure he had reached Heaven by now. The way you had decided to let your hair down in the end, somehow only managing for him to find it harder to breathe.
That button down black dress would be the end of him, that was for sure.
He wanted nothing but to pull you to him right then and run his fingers through the smooth fabric of it, which hugged your body so beautifully he found it hard to control himself.
Oblivious to the thoughts going through his head at the mere sight of you and your choice of clothing, you smiled back. "I didn't know you were coming?"
He cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "I was invited last minute".
You nodded understandingly, eyes travelling from him to the girl by his side, whose presence you were only now noticing. Not taking his eyes away from you, Hyunjin saw your smile be erased in a second, and that was all it took for him to realise you were putting two plus two together and not exactly getting four out of that sum.
"I see…" you tried to smile again, accepting the new drink Nana was offering you.
"Not by…" Hyunjin rushed to explain, throwing Somin a quick glance before his eyes were back on you. "She didn't—we're not…"
Your smile grew bigger, genuine, at his poor way with words. "It's okay, I get it".
"No but—"
"We just came here for drinks, so…" Heesung spoke up, trying to help you out of that situation and earning himself a glare from Hyunjin while at it.
"Ah, yeah" you agreed, giving Hyunjin and the girl one last look as you followed Nana out of there. "Have fun, you guys".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Having come all the way here, Hyunjin had most certainly not expected that to be his first encounter with you.
He had come all the way here for you, to see you. Running into one of his past hookups and having her next to him right as you ran into him, making you believe he had come here with her, had entirely defeated the whole purpose of him showing up.
Sure, the main reason he had come here was to make sure you and Heesung wouldn't end up hooking up —or worse, becoming a couple— by the end of the night, but it was also so he could spend some time with you. He wanted to be with you. Maybe get a drink together. Talk. Laugh. Win you back.
And every hope of his to get to do just that tonight had been shut down not even fifteen minutes into the party.
Running a hand through his hair as he and Somin walked out of the kitchen and parted ways, he found himself feeling not only frustrated over the whole situation, but also embarrassed as hell after being caught in his own white lie to the girl.
He tried his best to put all of it past him and once again look for you, not wanting to give up just yet — coming up with excuse after excuse to try and take you away from Heesung the moment he saw you again, so he could finish explaining himself. Just a couple of minutes would do.
"Guys, guys!" a blonde yelled from the other side of the room, where a small group of people was sitting down on the floor. "We're about to play a game, in case anyone wants to join!"
Not thinking much of it, Hyunjin resumed his way through the living room on his search for you, shaking his head in amusement when he saw Somin run towards them and sit down in the circle that was only getting bigger and bigger.
And he would've actually walked straight past said group of people and out to the backyard, if it weren't for the fact that he caught a glimpse of you — already sitting down on the floor, careful enough not to have your dress accidentally roll up your thighs. Surprised not to see Heesung next to you, he looked around, almost not believing he had left you all alone in a room full of strangers, about to play a drinking game.
That didn't last long, though, for the next second Nana was back in the picture, sitting down right next to you —in a spot you had apparently saved for him— and placing a black jacket on your legs. You smiled, visibly touched by that considerate gesture of his, before you shifted into a more comfortable position now that your legs were mostly covered. Into a position closer to him.
"Hyunjin, you're playing?" Somin asked from the opposite end, snapping him out of it.
Only then he realised he had been staring for too long — more eyes on him than he would've enjoyed, all of them waiting for his answer so the game could begin.
Hyunjin shook his head no, walking over to the closest wall and leaning against it as he faced the human circle that had just been created. "Just watching".
Feeling your familiar stare on him from the corner of his eyes, he locked them with yours, and he could see you shift in your place as you became nervous under his piercing stare. No one else but Heesung had seemed to notice the subtle change in your mood.
Your eyes only broke contact when the same girl that had announced the game for everyone to join before began to explain the dynamics of the so-called 'whisper game'. It was simple — one person secretly asked a question to another one, the latter answered out loud for everyone to hear, and whoever wanted to know what the question was had to take a shot.
Hyunjin could only thank that they had gone with that drinking game instead of the cliché spin the bottle one. Although he might've played this time around, in hopes to get to feel your addictive lips on his one more time. The idea of you kissing someone else, however, was not nearly as appealing — not to say horrifying.
This whole different game was pretty boring from the sideways, he realised ten minutes in. Hearing answer after answer without getting any context as to what had been asked seemed pointless, yet he could not find himself to be interested enough to sit down and play, nor indifferent enough to leave — not when you were still playing.
The only time he had felt the urge to join was when this other guy had gotten close enough to whisper something to you and make you laugh quite loud, which was followed by a shake of your head and a confident "no". Half of the people there had not hesitated to drink up and crawl over to the guy so they could find out what he had asked you, and Hyunjin would lie if he said he didn't consider taking a shot right then.
Other than that, he could feel himself grow bored.
Up until a redhead asked something to Heesung later on, causing him to look shy for a moment there. And, you see, that itself was not enough to catch Hyunjin's attention, he could not care any less about the guy and what he had to say. But seeing him lean in to whisper something in your ear, when it wasn't even his turn to ask, had him tensing up on his place.
You seemed a bit taken aback by whatever it was that Nana had told you — your eyes unconsciously going up to Hyunjin for a millisecond before they were back on Heesung. And then you nodded.
As if mimicking your actions, Nana nodded as well, fixing his eyes back on the girl who had asked him a question before he finally answered. "Y/N".
The girl covered her mouth as she squealed, that simple action having people taking shots like their lives depended on it — all of them obnoxiously cooing once they got the answer they had drank for.
Only you had seemed not to drink. Maybe because you already knew the answer, he thought. Maybe that's what Heesung had whispered to you before announcing your name to everyone else. Maybe he had just confessed, and he wanted you to be the first one to know.
Hyunjin's head was all over the place — the mere idea of you and Heesung together, and him being too, late made him want to scream.
As if that wasn't enough to freak him out, Heesung's turn to ask was next. The second he leaned in to ask you something, Hyunjin knew he was taking the shot.
Having heard the question, you sat back up, conflicted eyes once more locking with Hyunjin's, as you seemed to look for the answer deep down you already knew.
And for a moment there, just for a second, Hyunjin thought he would be your choice. Whatever the question had been, whether important or not, he thought his name would be the one abandoning your mouth next. However, he was proven wrong the second your eyes went back to Heesung.
"You".
Heesung smiled, and Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist for the second time that night — only now he could actually feel his knuckles turn white out of anger. Out of jealousy.
Before he could stop himself, he was taking a seat next to you and snatching from your hand the shot that had previously been refilled, not even caring about the stranger next to you he had just shoved aside to get some space in between, and most definitely not thinking twice before he was downing it all in one go and feeling the liquor burn its way down his throat.
"You can't just get in the game whenever you feel like it" you quietly recriminated him.
Hyunjin shrugged, staring at you in such a way you knew he was not giving this up. "I already drank, so tell me".
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
How you had found yourself to be in such a situation was beyond you.
The party had been going great for the first hour and a half. You and Heesung had been stuck together the entire time, taking things to the backyard and sitting down on a bench by the pool, just talking and laughing the night away, joining in eventual conversations with his classmates — yet somehow preferring to just be the two of you for most of the time.
It had been later on when everything had seemed to go to shit. When the two of you had gone back inside after you had gotten cold, and Heesung proposed going to the kitchen to get more drinks. You had agreed to it in a heartbeat, laughing on your way over there, as having another drink sounded just perfect to you.
Until your eyes met Hyunjin's first thing once in there.
And maybe it wouldn't have really mattered to you that he was there, if it weren't for the fact that he had company.
You couldn't help but feel stupid right there. Two months. You had been trying to get over him for a little over two months now, and you still felt your heart squeeze at the sight of him and someone else.
All you could do right then without being too obvious about the evident change in your mood was to greet him — quickly, barely acknowledging him before moving on.
That's why you had thanked Heesung for getting you out of there as soon as you were back in the living room, and why the drinking game was perfect timing. You had not even hesitated before you dragged Nana to join it with you. You would get to avoid Hyunjin and his date —or whatever that acting major was to him— and get your mind off the way your heart had felt at the sight of them together.
Of course, you didn't count on her wanting to play as well and sitting down right across from you. At least Hyunjin didn't seem interested enough to join in as well — you surely wouldn't have been able to handle his answers to the possible questions he would've been getting, especially when he seemed to have come here with someone else. No matter how hard you had tried, you realised right then you weren't nearly halfway getting over him. You were nowhere near ready to see him with someone else just yet.
The questions had been pretty silly at first, everyone was having a laugh and drinking for the sake of it. Or, well, for the sake of gossip. Drama was something that seemed far away from the game. Up until this one guy asked a girl who she'd rather make out with in the party and she answered with no hesitation. From then on, the questions began getting more serious, spicier.
You had been too busy laughing at Heesung when a redhead —whose name you had learned was Minseo— used her turn to ask him of all people a question, to even notice him leaning in towards you and placing his lips dangerously close to your ear.
"Do you wanna see whether Hwang feels something for you?"
His words had you physically leaning back and away from him, staring at him in shock for a moment before your eyes travelled towards Hyunjin, whose awaiting eyes were already fixing on yours.
Did you? That was the thing, did you want to know whether he felt something for you? Did you want to know now of all times? Now that you guys were done and you were trying your hardest to move on?
The rational side of you was quick to answer no. No, you did not want to know. You were done with him. Whether he felt something for you or not did not matter in the slightest, because it would not change anything.
The romantic side of you, the one that had been in love with Hwang Hyunjin for over a year now and that was still hurting over him not feeling the same way you did, wanted to know. Because that part of you was the hardest to shut down, especially when it came to the one person you had felt the strongest for.
In the end, the answer was simple. Your heart always seemed to win when it came to making decisions somehow. So you nodded.
And as Nana said your name out loud and everyone freaked out over it, even more after hearing what he had been asked for him to say your name as his final answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at Hyunjin.
Reading him, his feelings and thoughts, had never been an easy task to do. Right then, however, although still wearing a rather unreadable serious semblance, you could tell he was not happy.
He did not like to have your name abandon Heesung's mouth like that in the slightest.
And for a moment there, you thought he was about to join the game and take a shot. You thought he would care enough to go and find find the answer. But he didn't.
Too focused on him, you didn't even drink. Not like you really cared about what the previous question had been, you knew Nana hadn't meant his answer anyway. Plus, you would probably end up hearing it from someone else at some point, just like you were sure Hyunjin would, too.
When it was Heesung's turn to ask and he leaned in once more towards you, though, this time asking an actual question that you would have to answer out loud for everyone to hear, you were able to get an idea as to what he had been asked right before.
"Out of everyone here, who would you like to kiss tonight?"
Now, you knew he was doing this to help you get a reaction out of Hyunjin. Therefore, you were supposed to answer him, Na Heesung. Not a single thought. Just say his name. Right away.
But you couldn't help but actually give it a second thought.
You could've said Hyunjin. He was the one you wanted to kiss that night, being honest, and you wanted nothing but to slap yourself across the face for you to wake the fuck up. You were not supposed to want to kiss him. Not tonight, not ever. Yet here you were, locking eyes with him while you internally debated whether you should say his name or not.
No, you couldn't say his name — you were hit with a change of heart. Even if you wanted to kiss him, even if you were dying to feel his mouth on yours like you had oh-so-many-times done by now, you couldn't say it out loud. Not for everyone to hear. Not for him to hear. Not when you knew he didn't want to be with you in the same way you wanted to be with him.
You couldn't keep making a fool out of yourself. You couldn't keep giving him the pleasure of your undivided attention when he didn't reciprocate.
Forcing yourself to look away from him, you nervously fidgeted with one of the buttons on your dress, collecting all the sanity you had left before you could find it in you to confidently look at Nana and to answer for once and for all. "You".
The collective cheer that followed your one-word answer, right before the nosy players began drinking down their shots, was no surprise. You had expected it no matter what your answer was.
What you were not expecting was for Hyunjin to sit down next to you in what felt like a second — snatching the drink from your hand and downing it all in one go, so he could demand to hear what you had been asked.
It was funny, not to say tragic, how, somehow, all your decisions, all your feelings, always came back to Hyunjin.
You had come to this party to forget about him. You had felt that annoying, oh-so-familiar pressure in your chest because of him, when you saw him with someone else. You had decided to play this drinking game to once again keep your mind away from him. You had agreed to play along with Heesung's scheme because of him. You had answered Heesung because of him.
And now, you were currently panicking because of him. The one and only, Hwang Hyunjin.
Always, Hwang Hyunjin.
"Well?" he pushed it. "What was the question?"
"Um…" you hesitated, looking back at Heesung, in hopes of getting some help from him.
"Oh, come on," the girl Hyunjin had been with when you greeted him earlier that night spoke up. "Everyone already drank, you guys can announce it out loud and save us the trouble of having to go there and hear it one by one".
Heesung's eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission to let everyone know what he had just asked.
You shrugged, defeated. Everyone would end up knowing anyway. Hyunjin would end up knowing anyway. There was no escape this time around, so it was better to just get it over with.
"Um. I asked who she'd rather kiss".
Everyone's reaction was the exact same as it had been when they found out why Nana had answered with your name before. Only this time it was in unison, louder, as they had all found out at the same time.
And this time you could feel Hyunjin tense up right next to you.
You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, keeping it safe instead by looking down to your lap, while your face burned up in embarrassment as you heard different voices speculating about your relationship with Heesung.
"Hold on, hold on," Minseo's cheeky tone brought everyone's attention to her. "So Nana said he'd like to take Y/N home with him by the end of the night and now Y/N said she'd rather kiss him~"
Hyunjin's face snapped in your direction, a frown visible on it as he seemed to be piecing everything together. The same as you were at this newfound information. So that was what Heesung had answered your name for.
His intentions of helping you out made a lot more sense now that Hyunjin had heard the question, too.
Not like he had much time to process it anyway, as another girl who had gotten way too much to drink by now was fast to chant, "Ohhh, now kiss!"
Both you and Heesung tensed up in your spot, exchanging looks as you hoped no one else would engage with that comment.
Your luck was no such, though, for it was only a matter of seconds before everyone started chanting for the two of you to kiss as well.
Everyone but Hyunjin, of course. Unlike the rest, who seemed to be enjoying this way too much, he remained silent, still, almost scared of moving — as if the slightest of movements from him would send you straight to Heesung's mouth.
"We're not kissing in front of you all" Heesung tried to play it off with a laugh.
"Yeah," you joined him. "You guys are crazy".
That had only served as fuel to the fire. The chanting now becoming louder, followed along with claps, to the point you knew there was no changing their drunken minds unless you gave them what they wanted.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
"Ugh, I'm sorry" he apologised to you, voice barely audible in between all the madness.
You shook your head, letting him know it was alright. "Let's just get it over with"
Although your voice came out in more of a mumble and you would've thought he wouldn't hear you, the surprise displaying on his face let you know otherwise.
"You sure?" he whispered.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
You nodded, it was just one kiss after all, no big deal. The fact that Hyunjin was right next to you had been completely pushed to the back of your head by now, his presence being long overshadowed by the loud unison voices clouding your judgment.
Watching Heesung nod as well in silent agreement, you leaned in, meeting his lips halfway. Just like that. No hesitation, no second thoughts.
They were nice, soft. Enough so that you knew you would've actually enjoyed the feel of them on yours a lot more if it weren't for the cheers hurting your ears — not to say if it weren't for the fact that you were only doing it because of the social pressure.
You also would've enjoyed it one hell of a lot more if your mind weren't suddenly back on Hyunjin as Heesung's lips sucked on your bottom one.
You could've sworn you had heard his voice call out your name right as your mouth pressed to Nana's. But then again, that might've been the part of you that was still head over heels for him — the one part of you that was still hopeful, the one that still wanted him to show any kind of feelings for you.
The part of you you needed to get rid of.
Pulling away from Heesung after a couple of seconds, Hyunjin was gone.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"I'm sorry" Heesung apologised for the third time since you had quit the game.
The whisper game had been turned into spin the bottle right after your kiss, and neither you nor Heesung wanted to partake in it.
It had been harder than you had thought to leave the game, as everyone was trying to make you guys stay so it wouldn't turn boring due to losing players, but you had managed to sneak into the kitchen after a while.
You were not kissing anyone else that night.
"Nana, it's fine" you tried to laugh it off once more, sipping on the water you had decided to take in order to cancel out the few shots you drank. "It was just a game".
"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't know, I didn't think it'd go that far".
"Neither did I, but… it's done now" you shrugged, placing your now empty glass down on the counter.
"At least we got a reaction out of our main target" he smirked.
"What tar—oh" you remembered, making Heesung laugh at your cluelessness. "He just left, though…"
"And that itself says a lot?!" he pointed out in disbelief. "And come on, he literally jumped to take that shot when you answered with my name".
"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. "I don't know, he's always been jealous… or possessive, whatever you want to call it, like that".
"He's always had feelings for you then".
At that, you couldn't hold your laugh. "Yeah, right".
"I'm serious, though".
"No, I think it's just… I don't know, he grew way too used to being the only one in my eyes. Any other time I would've answered with his name. He doesn't like not having that anymore, that's all".
"Y/N, you cannot for the love of God be that oblivious!" Nana whined, grabbing your shoulders and shaking them for you to get a grip. "He wouldn't go to such extents just because of that".
It was now your turn to whine, letting your head fall to his shoulder as you lamented. "Everything is just so confusing when it comes to him, I don't know what to believe anymore".
"I think you should believe what you just saw, I mean… Y/N, he literally left when we kissed".
You let out a heavy sigh, feeling Heesung's shoulders slump down as he decided to drop the topic and pull you into his arms in a comforting hug.
"You wanna leave?" he asked after a couple of seconds.
"Yeah… that might be for the best" you mumbled, slowly pulling away from his embrace as you stood up straight. "There is no way we're leaving together now, though. I won't have my name in yet another rumor".
"Seems like the fair thing to do" he chuckled. "But there's no way I'm letting you go back home alone so late, I'll just head out first and wait for you outside or something".
"I guess that could work" you agreed.
"It will," he reassured you. "Although, to be honest, I don't think they'd start a rumor regarding us two".
"I can't trust your classmates anymore, I'm sorry" you shrugged, much to his own amusement. "No but that's not all because, like, imagine if they saw us leaving together and made us kiss again".
"I get that it was mere social pressure but don't make it sound like kissing me sucks" he dramatically clutched at his chest.
Rolling your eyes, you looked away as you denied, "I didn't hate kissing you, if I'm honest… I'm just saying".
Heesung smiled. "I didn't hate it either".
You felt your cheeks heat up all over again, just like they had when you pulled away from the kiss a couple of minutes ago. That had probably been the alcohol speaking, but you did mean it.
The kiss was nice. Pleasant. Different from Hyunjin's. Different from the way you felt with Hyunjin's. But nice nonetheless.
Before any of you could try and say anything else, however, someone clearing their throat at the entrance caught your attention.
Hyunjin stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stare you had not seen on him for a good while now, if ever. It was cold, and you couldn't pinpoint whether he was hurt or mad, nor whether he was feeling that way towards you or Heesung — or maybe both.
So cold, that you felt yourself to be oh-so-little under it.
"Am I interrupting something?" his voice sounded just as cold as his eyes looked.
Heesung bit his bottom lip, swallowing his own words not to make the situation any worse and looking at you instead, so you could be the one to answer.
"N-No…" you stuttered, eyes abandoning Nana's and fixing on Hyunjin's.
He nodded, entering the kitchen and silently going over to pour himself a drink.
Giving you an understanding look before you could even process what was going on, Heesung took a step away from you and towards the entrance. "We forgot my jacket in the living room after the game, so…"
"Nana…" you whispered, failing to grab his hand for him to stay.
He motioned towards Hyunjin, whose back was turned towards you, and gave you a reassuring smile before he left the room.
You stayed in your place. Hyunjin and you were now the only ones in there, and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word to him. Were you even supposed to say anything? His back was turned to you, after all, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. Maybe you were just supposed to leave. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, too.
Leaving seemed like the best option.
"He a good kisser?" Hyunjin asked, still not bothering to look at you.
You stopped in your tracks just as you were about to cross the door and turned around to look at him, finding yourself at a loss of words — completely taken aback by his bold question.
"What?"
"You enjoyed the kiss?" he rephrased it, finally turning around and looking at you as he took a sip of his drink.
"Why are you asking me this?" your voice faltered. "Shouldn't you be with your date?"
Hyunjin snorted. "Had you stayed one more second when we greeted and had you let me explain, you would've known by now that I came on my own and it was Changbin hyung's date who snuck me in".
The relief you felt at that made you mad at yourself all over again. It shouldn't matter who he came here with, nor who invited him in. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to feel your heart so at ease over this.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, though…"
"Don't I?" he tilted his head, placing his cup on the counter and walking towards you. "Why did you bring my supposed date up then?"
Looking up at him, you were once again at a loss of words. You couldn't give him a proper answer, not without letting him know you still cared. So, you said nothing, instead shaking your head before you walked right past him and out of the kitchen.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
"We're not gonna talk about it?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels as soon as you entered the living room looking for Heesung.
"There is nothing to talk about" you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.
Looking around for a second, you poundered your options. Going to the couch by the corner that had a free spot would only draw attention, as you were sure Hyunjin would not give it up just because there were people around. Going to the backyard would be pretty much the same.
Your eyes went up to the main staircase and then to the second floor, and that was all it took for you to go for it.
"No?" he followed you up the stairs, reaching for your hand and pulling you back towards him as soon as you were in the hallway. "So kissing another guy right in front of me is nothing now?"
You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"
"I thought it was obvious?"
"It's not" you answered coldly, pulling your hand out of his grasp.
"Think again then".
You shook your head in defeat. "Is it because it's Heesung?"
That had seemed to catch him by surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Are you mad that I kissed someone else in front of you or are you mad that it was Heesung?"
Hyunjin scoffed. "You could've kissed some complete stranger and I would've been just as hurt".
Hurt. Hurt.
He said hurt. Not mad, not annoyed, but hurt.
For the first time in a while, you felt yourself being delusional and allowing yourself to believe he did feel something for you. Something more than simple care. Something more than the selfish need to have your undivided attention all on him.
That simple use of words of his had been able to make you feel the hope you no longer thought you had by now.
"Y/N?" Hyunjin snapped you out of it. "Are you even listening to me?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating before you spoke. "I don't get you, Hyunjin".
"What is it that you don't get?"
"Why you're acting like this…"
"Because you kissed another guy" he repeated, and you could tell he was beginning to lose his temper.
"That's not—" you sighed. "Okay, so I kissed another guy. I kissed Heesung. I did. But as opposed to what, kissing you?"
Hyunjin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"You're talking like I cheated on you somehow" you pointed out. "You're mad that I kissed someone who was not you, but it's not like we're kissing either?"
"Do you want us to kiss?"
It was now your turn to scoff, staring at him incredulously for a moment before you tried to walk past him once again and go down the stairs.
"Y/N, wait" he stopped you once more, holding you by your shoulders.
"You just can't be serious for shit, can you?" you snapped, shoving his hands away from you.
"I am serious!" he exclaimed. "I am serious, Y/N. I'm just so fucking conflicted right now because I literally saw you with someone else and I'm trying to win you back here—"
"Win me back?" you whispered, inaudibly to him.
"But there are so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't think straight, like, do you like him? Did you feel something when you kissed him? Does he like you? Is he a better kisser than me?"
"Hyunjin…"
"Because I don't think he could be. He isn't, right? Is he?"
"You can't just ask that" you frowned. "Why would it even matter anyway".
"It just does…"
"I don't go around asking you if all the girls you've kissed apart from me are better than me".
"You could" he shrugged.
"What?"
"You could ask me. And I'd say you in a heartbeat".
"Hyunjin—"
"You are better than them, Y/N".
"Hyunjin".
"I'm serious" he stated. "There's a reason I kissed you pretty much every time we saw each other. It's different when there are feelings involved".
You scoffed, rolling your eyes before you looked away. "Glad you could tell how head over heels I was for you".
"I'm talking about me".
You froze.
Silent, still. Eyes looking for some kind of amusement in his — anything that would hint at his words being a joke. Just one mean, fucking cruel joke.
You found nothing.
"W-What?"
"I'm talking about my feelings, not yours".
"You—No. Feelings? No, you can't do this again".
"Y/N..."
"You can't mess with my head all over again, I thought we were past this".
"We will never be past this," he denied. "Not until you listen to me and actually believe what I've been trying to tell you for a while now".
"And what is it that you've been trying to tell me now?"
Hyunjin sighed, nervously looking around and only then hitting him that the two of you had been in the hallway all along. Although it was pretty much isolated, apart from the couple in their own world a couple of meters away, he felt shy all of a sudden. Especially since anyone could walk up the stairs any minute.
"Not here" he mumbled.
Staring at his hand on yours the next second, you let him guide you through the hallway in search of an empty room the two of you could talk inside of — without other people possibly watching or even overhearing everything you had to say.
It only took opening three doors and coming across two locked ones to finally find an empty bedroom.
Walking inside, you were thankful by the fact that a small lamp remained turned on by the nightstand, providing you both with some much needed —dim— light, as you had been too busy pulling your hand out of his grasp and Hyunjin too busy closing the door behind you to bother looking for a light.
"So?" you pushed it. "Are you telling me what's going on?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Y/N. It's not easy for me".
"That's what you said last time" you reminded him. "I don't know, Hyunjin. I'm trying to be understanding here and be friends again but you keep pulling this kind of stuff and honestly by now I feel like maybe this is all about attention".
"Attention?"
You nodded. "You had never been interested in me until I started hooking up with Binnie. And now you started being all sweet to me and getting jealous all over again when I started hanging out with Heesung".
"It's not like that…"
"Then how is it like?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "Because it really does look like I'm some kind of game to you".
"You're not just a game to me, Y/N. You're so much more, I—" he exhaled shakily. "Okay, yes, I started showing interest after you and Bin hyung started hooking up, there's no denying it, but I kinda needed that to realise that I wanted to be with you".
"You didn't want to be with me, though…" you mumbled. "Not seriously, at least. That's the point".
"Yes, I did" he confessed, and you felt as if your heart had stopped for a moment. "I did, Y/N. I was just too much of an idiot to realise".
"You don't…" you sighed. "No, what are you saying?"
"I want to be with you, Y/N. For real".
Your whole body stilled and your knees went weak, needing to lean back against the door for some kind of support.
You could not believe your ears. He could not be serious, could he? He was joking. This was all some kind of mean, mean joke. It had to be. Wasn't it?
"Can you say something?" he nervously whispered.
"You don't mean that…"
"I do mean it. I had never meant anything else as much as I mean this".
"Do you realise your timing?" you recriminated him, finally snapping out of it. "Like, you do realise how much of a joke this sounds like right now, don't you?"
"Why would I be joking about something like this?"
"I don't—I don't know…" you shook your head, unconsciously taking a step back. "It does sound to me like you only want to make sure I don't get over you and move on to someone else".
"You really think that low of me?" Hyunjin questioned, eyebrows furrowing not really in offense, but hurt instead. "You genuinely believe I'm doing this out of attention?"
You remained silent, much to his dislike.
"You really think I'm doing this to keep you wrapped around my finger? Seriously, Y/N?" he questioned. "All the sweet words? All the art studio visits? All the times I try to hang out with you alone or just talk to you? All the times I've gotten so obviously jealous? You really think I'm doing it all to play with you?"
You shrugged, not daring to look him in the eye as you replied, "I don't know when it comes to you anymore…"
That had felt like a punch in the gut for him, finding himself leaning back as he took a shaky breath. "Wow…"
"I'm just saying, you did all those things before too and you didn't want a serious relationship, how am I supposed to know it's any different now?"
"Because it just is!" he threw his head back in frustration. "I wanted a relationship with you too back then but I was too stupid to realise it. I wanted to be with you at all times, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you all to myself. I didn't even care about going to someone else to hook up with but I still made myself believe I did just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I was falling for you".
"Hyunjin—"
"No, you're listening to me now" he cut you off, decided to get his point across and determined to make you hear him out. "I know the timing could not be any more shitty and that it seems like I'm doing this just because I want you to only ever have eyes for me, and yes, I do want you to only ever have eyes for me, but not for the reason you're imagining. I want you to only be into me because I too am only into you".
You snorted, incredulously rolling your eyes as you backed away and tried to reach for the doorknob. At that, Hyunjin pressed his hand against the door — his strength overpowering you and forbidding you from opening it. The way his face was now inches away from yours as he cornered you against the only exit you had, however, had been enough to keep you still and stop fighting him right away.
"Why is it so hard to believe that I am only into you?" he mumbled this time.
"I, I just—I don't," you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. "You literally said that you didn't think you'd ever be able to give me the relationship I was expecting from you, that you wanted to be free and—"
"How many times do I have to tell you that I was just being stupid?" he repeated. "What I wanted was right there in front of me and I was too much of an idiot to see it, until I eventually lost you and what we had and it hit me".
"And how do I know you won't go back to wanting to be free and sleep around after we get back together? How do I know this is what you truly want and not just you wanting what you can't have?"
"Because I have feelings for you!"
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Feelings. Feelings.
His feelings. For you.
Although he had hinted at it minutes ago when he was recriminating you for kissing Heesung, you had chosen not to believe your ears. He had not meant it like that, as far as you knew.
But now he had said it, word by word. He had looked at you straight in the eye and told you he had feelings for you. Actual romantic feelings for you. And he wanted to act on them now, as opposed to months ago when he claimed to like you one hell of a lot yet didn't feel like being in a relationship with you.
You remained frozen, quiet — scared of moving, even. Feeling like your voice would fail you the moment you opened your mouth to speak.
"You what?" you whispered, weakly.
"I have feelings for you, Y/N" Hyunjin said once again, calmer this time, yet somehow determination being clearer in his voice. "It took me way too long to realise, but there's a reason I couldn't let go of you even after you wanted nothing to do with me. There's a reason what we had was so close to an actual relationship to begin with. There's a reason I hate to see you and Heesung together now, and why it hurt so fucking much to see you kiss him that I had to physically leave the room or I would've either broken down or beaten him up right there".
"I didn't…" you took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't do it to spite you…"
"I get that, Y/N, but it fucking hurt. It fucking hurt so much, more than I could've ever imagined. I really wanted to pull you away from there and to be the one to kiss you instead. Because I do have feelings for you. And that is the exact reason why I won't go back to wanting to sleep around," he leaned in, softly resting his forehead on yours. "I only want to be with you. I mean it".
"You do?" you whispered, already feeling yourself melting under his simple touch.
"I do," he confirmed in a heartbeat. "Fuck, baby, I want to be with you so bad".
Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the pet name you had not heard in so long.
"Hyunjin…" you pouted. "Don't play with me".
He took a deep, shaky breath, bringing his thumb up to trace your bottom lip. "I'm not playing," his eyes travelled back up to your eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Y/N. I don't know what else to do for you to believe I'm serious about us".
Us. Us.
You could've screamed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that your voice was failing you when you needed it the most.
You couldn't believe just how weak you were still when it came to him.
"I'm just… so confused, Hyunjin…"
He nodded understandingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to compose himself as well. "I get that it's all very confusing and hard to believe, but I'll do anything if it means you'll believe me" he whispered, gently bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I do mean it when I say I want to be with you, Y/N. Only you".
Too stunned to say anything, you nodded — gently, almost invisibly, as right then you weren't sure of anything. It was a dream, as far as you knew.
But it was a dream you didn't want to wake up from.
"Okay…" you whispered.
"Okay?" he asked, hope clear in his voice.
"You can… show me that you mean it…"
Hyunjin smiled brightly, his eyes turning into two crescent moons as he tried to process your words. "You're serious?"
"Mhm…" you softly nodded. "If you fuck up again after this… I won't be able to give you any more chances, though…"
"I won't," he promised. "I won't, I—fuck, I'm so happy" a breathy laugh escaped his mouth, making your heart flutter as you watched him try to compose himself.
You couldn't help the small smile that had curved up the corners of your lips at the sight of his own, closing your eyes when he once again rested his forehead on yours and lovingly bumped your nose.
Looking down to your mouth for a second, his uncertain eyes were back up on yours. "Would I be an asshole if I kissed you right now?"
You shook your head no, maybe a little too quickly for your own liking. As much as you had tried to deny it, to push such thoughts away, you wanted him to kiss you.
You needed to feel his plump, cloudlike lips on yours again. Right then, as you had them only a centimeter away from yours, and as you could feel his hot breath hit your mouth, you felt like you would die if you didn't get a taste of them.
Thankfully, you didn't need to reach such an extent, for Hyunjin himself felt like he would die if he didn't feel your mouth against his right at that moment, and so your shake of head was all he needed to close the small space the two of you were going insane over.
You had not forgotten how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours, but as his lips opened ever so slightly to press deeper against yours, you could only realise just how fucking much you had actually missed it.
It was needy, messy, different to every other kiss you had shared before — even during your make out sessions. Your breathings not taking long to become heavier and have you gasping for air. It almost felt like you would die the moment your lips pulled away from each other.
Having his tongue massage yours the way only he could and biting on your bottom lip like he knew it drove you crazy, you couldn't stop the small hum that escaped your mouth, feeling yourself getting drunk on the touch and taste of him.
Hyunjin smiled, hands tightening on your hips to pull you as close as he could to him, before they traced their way up your back and pressed your chest to his — letting out a heavy yet blissful sigh when you took his look for closeness one step further by tightening your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.
"Fuck, you're driving me crazy" he mumbled against your lips, feeling you chuckle in between the kiss in response.
Air no longer seemed like a necessity, both of you being too long gone to even think of breaking the contact between your mouths. Instead, Hyunjin's hands travelled down to your lower back to pull you closer, as he had felt you move slightly away from him and he was not having it.
Missing the touch of his right hand on your lower back the next second, however, you whined, earning a breathy laugh from him against your hot mouth. That's when you heard the lock of the door twist behind you, and suddenly it made sense why his hand had abandoned the comfort of your body.
Not giving you time to react, the same hand of his you had whined about now travelled further down to the back of your thigh, pulling it up around his waist before his other hand joined and he lifted you up. You smiled in between the kiss, helping him by wrapping your legs around him as he adjusted himself in between them and held you up against the door.
"What do you think you're doing?" you teased him, barely catching your breath.
"Nothing yet" he smirked, sucking on your bottom lip.
You smiled, leaning down to trap his bottom lip in between yours and then pulling at it with a soft bite. "And what's stopping you?"
Groaning at both your words and the pressure your teeth were applying on his flesh, he went back to suck on your lip — his hot tongue tracing over it before it opened its way into your mouth and was gladly met by yours.
A small, barely audible moan escaped your mouth when your body slid slightly down and the friction against his sent a wave of pleasure to your inner thighs. So quiet, that he wouldn't have heard it had he not been kissing you right then, unintentionally muffling out that one sweet sound of yours he wanted to hear the most.
Wanting to hear more of it, he tightened his hold around your waist, so he could let one of his hands travel down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze and not letting go until he reached the king bed, where he gently laid you down on, and wasted no time to be right back on your lips.
"You're not drunk, are you?" he wondered, tenderly caressing your waist.
You shook your head no, resting a hand on his cheek. "I wasn't that into gossip to drink as many shots as everyone else".
Hyunjin chuckled, stealing a lingering kiss from you. "You won't hate me in the morning then?"
You bit your bottom lip, anticipating what was about to happen with just that simple question of his. "I won't".
"Promise?" he mumbled, slowly brushing his lips on yours.
"Promise" you smiled, pulling him down by his collar and trapping his bottom lip in between your needy ones.
Not letting go of the white fabric of his shirt, you began to slowly unbutton it down — one button at a time, slowly enough to drive him crazy.
Neither you bothered taking it off, nor did he bother removing it. You just stared, running your fingertips over the uncovered skin of his toned chest and smiling at the visible goosebumps your touch alone had provoked on him.
"Don't be a tease" he warned, burying his head in the crook of your neck.
"I'm just touching you..."
"Exactly".
A small giggle escaped your mouth at his answer, feeling him smile against your skin before he placed an open mouth kiss to it. And then another. And another. Sucking on your flesh in such a way you would be surprised if you didn't walk out of there without a purple mark on it.
Just as his hand was placed on your waist to keep you in place and your breathing became heavier, his kisses began moving down to your chest, leaving a trail of them all the way from your neck to your shoulder, where he stopped for a moment to pull down the sleeve of your dress so he could press a wet kiss directly to your skin. He then moved to your collarbone, loving the way he could already feel your chest heavily move up and down before he could even get to it.
And then he moved down to your cleavage.
Holding the first button of your dress in between his fingers, he looked up at you, asking for permission before carrying on. At a loss of words, you nodded, feeling your body heat up when he undid the first one and moved onto the second one — and so on until he stopped right above your belly button.
He couldn't help but admire you, not needing to undo any more buttons right then as he had you lying down with nothing but a black bralette covering your chest. Leaning down to plant a kiss to your addictive mouth, he couldn't help his hand from grabbing one of your breasts, feeling himself grow hard at the sound of the small gasp you had just let out against his lips.
Using his knee to pull your legs apart, he lied in between them, slowly thrusting against your core as he squeezed your breast once again. This time, you couldn't help the moan that had slipped right past your lips, as you felt him hard against the one place where you needed him the most.
Hyunjin smirked, kissing you harder and muffling out another moan of yours after he thrusted once more, harder as well.
"Fuck, baby" he breathed out. "You're driving me crazy".
"I should be the one saying that…" you confessed.
He chuckled, leaning down to devour your mouth like his life depended on it. Letting go after what felt like too short of a time for your liking, he went back down to your chest and bagan peppering a few kisses on the uncovered skin. A small groan left his throat when his kisses moved further down and his lips were met no longer by the softness of your naked body, but with the fabric of your bralette instead.
Barely detaching his mouth from the spot he had been teasing, he pulled your bra down to uncover one of your breasts and wasted no time to wrap his mouth around your nipple. It hardened at the first touch of his, feeling him smile against your flesh right before he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud.
Your breathing became heavier, chest tremblingly moving up and down as he continued his ministrations — bringing one of your hands to your unattended breast so you could touch yourself. Only Hyunjin didn't let you, grabbing your fingers right as they grazed over your bra and pulling your hand down on the mattress.
"I'm the one touching you, baby" he gazed up at you, just like that having you obey him.
Without another word, he pulled the remaining cup down as well to release your other breast and give it the attention you had silently been begging for, not forgetting about the one he had been sucking on previously, as he gave it a slow squeeze before he pinched your already sensitive nipple.
You writhed underneath him, lifting your hips up to rub against his erection and get some of the friction you so desperately needed. Hyunjin didn't fight it, instead pressing a hand down on your waist to keep you still as he grinded on you just the way you wanted him to.
"Hyunjin… fuck".
Grinning against your chest, he let go of your now over-sensitive bud and traced his fingertips all the way down to your thighs instead. He teasingly rubbed his thumb right beside your inner thigh, without really touching you where you were desperate for him to touch you.
When a pretty whine of yours reached his ears not even three seconds later, however, he decided to stop your torture. Gently palming your core over your panties, he felt himself grow harder over how much more wet than he had expected you actually were.
"Fuck," he groaned, running two of his fingers up and down your slit over the damp fabric. "Can't wait to be buried deep inside you".
You whined under your breath, that thought alone having you trying to squeeze your legs together, in desperate need to release the sudden itch in between them. Noticing this, as you had failed ever so miserably given that he was in between your legs, stopping you from pulling them back together, Hyunjin took it upon himself.
Leaning down to crash his mouth on yours, parting your lips with his tongue as he searched for the touch of yours, he pulled your panties aside, earning a melodic whimper from you the moment those same fingers than had been touching you over the thin fabric before were now running up and down your wet folds.
"Hyunjin," you breathed out when he stopped right at your entrance and toyed with it, pushing one of his fingers inside you. "Hm—fuck, Hyunjin, don't tease…"
He chuckled, biting your lip before he pulled you into another kiss — curling his finger up as he softly pistoned inside your walls. "But I wanna take my time…"
"Please," you begged, feeling yourself clenching around his finger. "No teasing tonight, I just need you inside me".
"No teasing tonight?" he pulled away from your mouth and removed a strand of hair from off your face with his free hand. "You're saying there will be another time?"
You didn't reply, feeling the heat reach your face as the implication of your own words had just hit you. Hyunjin laughed breathily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
"Okay then, no teasing tonight" he gave in, removing his finger from you and having you whimper over the sudden emptiness. "But I still need to make sure you're wet enough".
"I'm already wet enough" you whispered.
He smiled against your lips. Fuck, he swore right then you could not look any hotter, and he could not be any harder.
"You think so?" he mumbled against your lips.
"Yes," you blurted out in a heartbeat. "Please, Hyunjin, just fuck me".
"Fuck, you're so hot" he breathed out, earning a breathy, contented laugh from you that was followed with a short kiss to his mouth. "You're on the pill, right?"
"You didn't bring a…"
He shook his head no, and you could feel him begin to panic. "You're not?"
"I am, it's okay," you reassured him with a kiss, gently brushing his hair back. "I just thought you'd at least carry one around at a party".
"I only came here for you tonight, and I wasn't being this optimistic".
"Mm… maybe we should stop right here then, to keep things closer to your expectations".
"Don't you dare" he warned you.
You chuckled, trapping his bottom lip back in between your mouth and bringing your hand down to his pants, palming his bulge over the black fabric and feeling yourself grow needier as a muffled moan came out of his mouth at the sudden pressure.
You had said no teasing, though. So, following your own words, you palmed him one last time before your hand moved up to pull the zip down. Not giving him much time to take in your actions, you took a hold of his hardened member and pulled it out of his underwear.
"Fuck," he growled, already feeling oh-so-sensitive under your touch as you began to move your hand up and down around his length. "You said no teasing".
"I'm not teasing," you breathed out with a small laugh. "But you can't fuck me with it still inside your pants, can you?"
Hyunjin's mouth crashed against yours. "You're gonna be the end of me, for fuck's sake".
Sitting up on the bed, he pulled his pants down to his knees, then taking a hold of your thighs and pulling you closer to him, making a rush of heat run through your whole body and up to your face when he removed your panties completely — even more when you caught his hungry eyes staring.
"Hyunjin..." you called his name when he could not stop himself from touching you.
As if snapping out of a trance, he fixed his eyes on yours, allowing the curves of his lips to curve up as he leaned back down to hover your body. "You're so hot, how am I not supposed to—"
He was shut up by your mouth on his, muffling the following moan of his that ran past his lips when you took a hold of his cock once more and pumped it up and down. Cursing under his breath, he took over your touch when you guided him to your cunt, grabbing his length and slowly rubbing his tip against your slit.
"You sure you want this?" he looked you in the eye.
You quickly nodded, digging your hands under his open shirt and tracing your way to his back as you had suddenly forgotten how to speak.
"Words, baby" he nuzzled your neck.
"You just wanna hear me beg" you complained, feeling your heart race at the sound of his soft laugh.
"Tell me" he pushed it, aligning himself with your entrance. "I'm not fucking you until you tell me".
"Please, Jinnie" you whined.
"Please what, baby?"
"Please, fuck me" your voice could only turn him on more. "Please".
Hushing your pleas with a tender kiss, he held harder onto your waist, keeping you still as he was finally done with the teasing and slowly pushed into you.
"Fuck," he groaned into your mouth, as soon as his tip had slid past your wet walls. "Fuck, you feel so good".
All you could do in return was breathe out heavily, getting lost in the feel of every inch of his stretching their way inside you, rubbing your walls in all the right places as he bottomed out.
Rolling your hips up to meet his as you could only want and need more of him, you got a groan out of him, running your fingers down to his lower back and hinting at him to start moving.
You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan from coming out when he complied with your wishes — pulling back and stopping right before the tip of his cock could slip out, to then push all the way back in.
"Oh, my—" you gasped, placing your palms on his waist.
"Feels good?" he asked against your open mouth, pressing his lips to it after you had hummed in content. "Tell me, baby" his hips slammed on yours, making you whimper. "How do you like it?"
"Just like that" you whined, digging your nails on his flesh as his thrusts had become harder. "Fuck, Hyunjin, just like that".
"Yeah?" he smirked, pressing his mouth to the corner of yours.
"Hmm… feels so good".
That was exactly what he wanted to hear.
Smiling against your mouth as another moan abandoned it after one particular thrust of his, he pressed one last kiss to it before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, allowing himself to let out a groan when you once again rolled your hips against his and caused him to reach deeper inside you.
Chest pressing flat on yours, he grabbed hard on your thigh, removing it from around his waist and pushing it down against your ribcage. The new angle had you moaning and your walls clenching around his cock in a heartbeat.
"Y/N, fuck" Hyunjin whined, going up to rest his forehead on yours. "You feel so fucking good".
You trapped his bottom lip in between yours, entangling one of your hands in the black locks at the back of his head and pulling at them ever so lightly, just enough to turn him on even more than he already was and to get a raspy moan out of him — taking the gap in his lips to your advantage by sticking your tongue in it and being met with his responsive one.
Letting go of your thigh, he rested his hand on your ribcage, right under the curve of your breast, pulling away from the comfort of your chest so he could take a proper look at you and the way your body moved with every thrust of his.
"You're so hot," he groaned, rubbing his thumb over your hardened nipple. "So fucking beautiful..."
Throwing your head back at the pleasure, feeling your legs grow weaker by the second, you allowed a moan of his name to slip past your throat. That only had him leaning back down to crash his mouth on yours and grind deeper on you — harder, faster.
The sound of your hot flesh slamming against one another over and over filled the room, to the point you were thankful by the loud music that was playing downstairs and helped this bedroom become as soundproof as it could be.
Your walls clenched around him once more, as his cock had finally reached your most sensitive spot and the friction of his pelvis on your clit was starting to become too much, in the most delicious of ways.
"F—uck," he let out a shaky breath. "If you keep doing that I don't think I'll last for too long".
You bit your lip, feeling almost ashamed as you could hardly speak. "I'm not lasting… much longer…"
Because it was all too much. All the time you have had feelings for him, all the months you hadn't been intimate with anyone, the way he had managed to know just the way you liked it the first time around, the way his cock was rubbing against the one spot that could make you see stars in a matter of seconds.
The way it was him.
Everything was too much, and you were afraid it would be over sooner than you wanted it to.
Hyunjin's eyes softened, and a sweet smile curved up his lips — leaning down to kiss you gently this time. Cupping your face with his hand, he drew tender circles on your chin with his thumb.
"Cum for me, then" he mumbled against your mouth, bringing his hand down to your clit.
"Hyunjin," you gasped when his thumb rubbed on it. "Fuck, I don't—"
"Hm, baby?" he asked, thrusting into you. "You don't, what?"
"I don't wanna cum yet" you choked out.
He chuckled, feeling your body tremble underneath him. "Your body says otherwise…"
"Hyunjin, ple—fuck," you cried, palms pressing against his abdomen when he pounded into you. "Please, it feels too good".
"I know, baby…" he hushed you, not letting go of the pace he had set that was driving you over the edge. "You're driving me crazy over here, too".
Hearing the way his voice had halted, you could tell he was close, too. So, pushing your own needs aside, you began to roll your hips and meet each of his thrusts halfway all over again — no longer caring about coming undone right then and there, as long as you helped him find his own release.
"Y/N—oh, fuck" he moaned, heavy breathing mixing with yours as he let his forehead rest on yours.
"Hyunjin, I'm coming" you whimpered, feeling your back arching and your legs beginning to shake. "Oh, God, I'm—"
He pressed a kiss to your mouth, removing his hand from your clit and pushing your thigh back against your chest so he could slam harder into you — deeper.
"Let go, baby" he whispered, feeling his own orgasm approaching. "Cum for me, hm? Be a good girl to me…"
With one last thrust of his and with those last words being said, you couldn't hold back anymore — toes curling, legs shaking and nails scratching his back, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck and let out a cry.
Hyunjin couldn't hold back a moan at the mere sight of you shaking and coming undone under him. "Holy fuck, you're so perfect" he breathed out, holding onto your waist to keep you in place as he helped you ride through your orgasm.
Letting your head fall back down against the pillow, you looked down to the place where your hips met. Amazed by the way his cock appeared and disappeared inside you, you placed your hands on his lower back to help him reach his climax while you were still going through yours — throwing your head back against the pillow when his cock kept on hitting your most sensitive spot.
Just like he had warned you, your walls clenching around his cock would be what ended up sending him to the edge.
"Y/N, holy—" his words got caught in his throat, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he slammed into you once more.
One last curse abandoned his lips, and suddenly you were feeling his damp chest pressing on yours and his warm release being spread inside you.
-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡
Heavy breathings mixing together, Hyunjin leaned in to steal another kiss from your swollen mouth, not being able to stop a giggle from escaping his own and lovingly bumping his nose on yours, before pressing his lips to yours one more time.
"Fuck, I needed you" he exhaled, kissing you again. "So much".
You chuckled, gently entangling your fingers in his slightly sweaty hair and pulling him into another kiss. "I needed you, too".
Hyunjin's smile turned bigger, brighter, and you once again felt like you were in a dream when he cupped your cheek and tenderly caressed your skin. He looked at you like you were holding the stars in the sky, and for a second there you grew afraid — afraid of having let your walls down, more than you ever had before, to the point your mind was now making up the feelings behind his eyes to compensate for the love you still felt for him.
All your worries were quickly shut down when he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, then another to your forehead, and then one to your cheek, before he let his bodyweight fall on you, burying his face in the valley of your breasts as his arms snuck around your waist and pulled you closer than you'd ever been to him.
"You're heavy" you whined, with the exclusive intention of annoying him.
He didn't even budge. "You can take it for a couple of minutes".
Allowing the corners of your mouth to curve up into a smile, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his chest move up and down as he sighed contentedly. He had missed you playing with his hair. And you had missed feeling him melt into a puddle under your loving touch.
It was ironical, how that same day you had been beating yourself up over having flirted with him like you used to, even after everything that had gone down between the two of you and how hard you were trying to get over him, yet here you were right now, with your dress doing little to nothing to cover you up as Hyunjin lied on top of you — face buried in your chest as he tenderly caressed your hip under the black fabric of your dress he had previously pulled up to your waist, and your breathings synchronized as the two of you had finally managed to fully come down from your highs.
As ironic as it sounded, though, there was a difference between your flirting earlier that day and the intimacy you had just shared: You didn't know he had feelings for you before.
The main reason why you had beaten yourself up over having slipped up and flirted back with him was because you felt delusional. And how could you not? He knew you had feelings for him all along, you knew they were one sided, and you still had managed to make a fool of yourself by giving him just what he wanted. You had found yourself falling in his game all over again.
Only it was not a game to him. Now you knew.
A voice at the very back of your head told you that you should be ashamed, that you had given in too easily, but you couldn't find it in you to feel anything other than peace right then.
You had missed him. You had needed him, more than you could have ever imagined.
You had tried to get over him, you had really tried. But having him tell you all that, when a part of you still felt so strongly about him, had managed to make it all come back — every single feeling you had managed to push away. Just like that.
And maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you, or simply your love for him, that made you want to believe with everything in you that this time would be different.
You wanted, begged, to believe that this time around your heart wouldn't be shattered into one million pieces.
He had said he only wanted you, that he had feelings for you. Whether said feelings were love or he was just slowly beginning to get there, you wanted to believe they were true.
After all, he had said he would do anything for you to believe him. You were truly counting on that.
"Did you mean it?" you wondered, voice soft as ever.
"I meant everything I said".
You giggled, feeling his heart race up as you shook your head. "No… I'm talking about what you said about having come here just because of me…" you specified. "Was it true? Or were you just trying to make me melt?"
"I made you melt?" he looked up with a smirk, both proudly and teasingly.
"Don't" you whined, earning a giggle from him.
"I was serious, you can ask Changbin hyung if you want".
"What does he have to do with it?"
"I told you, his date was the one who let me in here. I had to beg him to ask her".
"That deep?" you taunted him.
"Laugh all you want," he dared you, going up to press a small kiss to your chin and then hover your lips. "Coming here was the best decision I could've made".
Not fighting the smile that had just curved up your mouth, you met his lips midway into a loving kiss. One that slowly turned into one peck after another, getting a blissful giggle from you as Hyunjin could not find it in him to entirely pull away just yet.
Once he felt like your lips had touched a fair enough amount of times to make him the happiest, he rested his head back on your chest, gently bumping his nose against your neck before he buried his face in the crook of it. Your arms didn't wait to wrap around him, holding him close to you as you found comfort in his naked chest moving up and down against yours with every breath you took.
The little utopia the two of you had built was disrupted the next minute, when a sudden turn of the doorknob had your heads snapping in its direction.
"Fuck" you whispered, trying to get up but having no success at it, thanks to Hyunjin's body on top of you. "Jinnie, get up".
He whined, only burying his face back in your chest. "They can go get another room".
"Hyunjin!" you whisper-shouted this time, hearing the doorknob unsuccessfully twist again.
"What, I'm serious" his embrace around you tightened. "This is my Y/N time, whoever they are they can fuck off".
As if on cue, the turning ceased. And you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of the smile that had just taken over Hyunjin's face.
"Y/N time?" you mockingly questioned.
He nodded, no sign of his smile being erased anytime soon. "I said what I said".
You laughed under your breath, placing your palms against his shoulders so you could push him up and off you — only managing to make him look at you so far. "We have to leave".
He pouted. "So soon?"
You nodded. "We're literally in the middle of a party, anyone could walk in".
"The door is literally locked".
"What if Yurim comes".
He shrugged. "It's gonna be locked anyway. Plus, I heard she doesn't really mind having couples do their thing in here".
You rolled your eyes, both in amusement and disbelief. "You're a liar".
"I'm not!" he reassured you, yet the laugh that had followed his words was not very convincing of him.
"Mhm… if you say so" you teased him.
Leaning in to steal a kiss from him before he could fight back like you knew he would, you took advantage of the way he was too busy deepening the kiss and grabbed the hem of his shirt, swiftly buttoning it up until his chest was covered.
"Let's get dressed" you mumbled against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them.
Hyunjin sighed, definitely not wanting to leave you, nor this moment, anytime soon, yet not even dreaming of pushing your limits any further. Just having you this way right now, having had you as intimately as he had done minutes ago, was more, so much more, than he could ever have asked for.
Adjusting his pants and poorly fixing his shirt, he rushed to help you out. Your hands were already pulling down your dress so it would cover your thighs, so he focused on your chest, fixing your bralette first and then carefully —not to say reluctantly— buttoning your dress up. Lastly, he moved on to help you reach for your panties on the other end of the bed so you could put them on.
Once you were all done, he offered his hand to help you sit up just as he did.
"One of us should leave first…" you mumbled.
He nodded, quietly running his fingers through your hair to fix its messiness. "You can go first. I'll stay here and make the bed look presentable again".
You bit your bottom lip, feeling your face burn as you seemed to only then have been hit with what the two of you had just done. Nevertheless, you nodded, standing up and running your hands down your dress in hopes to make it look just as straightened as it was when you arrived.
"Okay, um… I'll see you around?" you tilted your head rather awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye now.
Letting out a chuckle, Hyunjin stood up as well and walked over to you — confidently pulling you in by your waist, so that your body was once again pressed to his and his mouth could brush over yours. "If you think I'm not texting you first thing tomorrow then you've got a whole other thing coming to you".
As much as his words had made you shy, you couldn't control yourself when it came to pulling him into a kiss by his collar.
Hyunjin kissed you back in a heartbeat, a smile curving up his lips as both hands cupped your face to stop you from pulling away just yet.
"Actually, I'm calling you later tonight to see if you got home safe" he let you know as he caught his breath, going in for another brief kiss. "Or maybe I should take you home instead".
"We're not having a second round" you warned him.
Hyunjin laughed under his breath. "No, it's not…" he shook his head, opening his eyes to meet your awaiting ones. "I meant your home, as in, dropping you off at your dorm. Although I wouldn't mind taking you back to mine with me".
You amusedly rolled your eyes, doing a pretty poor job at hiding just how hard your face was burning up at his words. "You're not taking me to either" you remarked, having him sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I need to go look for Nana, we came here together, so…"
He nodded every so softly — not being able to hide the drop in his mood. "Can I ask you to, like… do... or not do something for me?"
"What is it?" you wondered.
"Don't go back home with him? Or with anyone else for that matter?"
"You mean, going home as in…"
"As in the way you accused me of wanting to take you home" he smiled softly.
"I'm not sure I'm ready for another round with anyone else either after what happened between us" you joked.
"Shut up," he half whined, half laughed, resting his forehead on yours. "You know what I mean".
You smiled, leaning in to kiss his pout away. "I won't".
"Good" he smiled, too, stealing another kiss from you.
"But, Jinnie, you know…" you sighed, trying to look for the right words. "You know this doesn't mean everything is magically, one hundred percent okay between us… don't you? I mean, we did just—but, we're not…"
He nodded, with that simple act of his letting you know he understood. "I know. I have to show you I mean everything I said…" his hands softly traced their way down your arms, until they reached your hands. "But it's a start, right?"
You smiled, looking down at your hands as your fingers interlocked with his. "Mhm… I guess it is".
"I'll be better, I promise" his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. "I'm done being scared of commitment".
"I'm not trying to push you, though…" you mumbled. "I mean, I wasn't trying… if you're still having doubts—"
"I'm not".
"Don't feel like you need to stay, because if you end up changing your mind later on—"
He shut you up with a lingering kiss. "There's no changing my mind this time".
"I get that it can be pretty scary…"
"Not when it comes to you anymore".
Speechless, you stared into his genuine, determined eyes for a moment, while you tried to take every word of his in. Once you did, you showed him you appreciated his efforts by gently pressing your mouth to his for what could easily be the hundredth time that night.
"Please don't change your mind tomorrow…" you pleaded, failing at trying to hide just how heartbreaking that mere thought was to you.
"I'd be damned to" he whispered, sweetly yet reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm actually scared you'll change your mind tomorrow".
"I won't" you reassured him in a heartbeat.
"I won't either," he repeated. "So I guess you're stuck with me now".
"I'm not opposed to that…" you shyly chuckled, having his lips back on yours in a second.
Feeling his hands abandon yours to be placed on your waist instead, knowing all too well that was his way to deepen the kiss, you found yourself resting your palms on his chest to try and push him away before things began to escalate all over again.
"I should really leave now…" you announced, clumsily walking backwards towards the door as he followed without letting go.
"Just one more" he mumbled against your lips, sucking on your bottom one and bringing his other hand to your nape, to prevent you from pulling away just yet.
"Hyunjin…" you warned him with a smile.
"Okay, okay" he stole one last kiss. "I'm done".
"God, who would've thought you'd be so clingy" you pointed out in feigned annoyance, earning a proud smirk from him.
"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, baby".
Rolling your eyes at him, you reached for the doorknob, unlocking it before you finally were able to make your way out of the bedroom — not without first having warned him about not even daring to come out of there right after you did.
Although he would've loved to do just that and have everyone at the party know the two of you were together, he followed your wishes, only walking up to the door once you were out of there so he could lock it back. So that no one would accidentally find out he had, too, been in there all along.
Turning around and walking towards the bed, he was met with the mess you had made on it together, and he couldn't help the smile that parted his lips as the memories flooded his mind.
He knew sex was great, that was pretty much the main reason he liked being single so much — being able to sleep around with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But fuck, no one had ever told him just how much, much better it felt when it was with the one person you had feelings for.
It had never felt as good as it did with you.
It had never made him want to stay before. Stay all night if possible, like he had wished to stay with you — hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, caressing you.
And that could only reassure him of his feelings for you. If anything, he was now realising they seemed to be way stronger than he had thought.
Covering his eyes, he slumped down on his back as a small giggle escaped his mouth. He was aware that he looked like a mad man right then, but the ghost of your lips on his and your hot skin against his was more than enough for him not to care about it and, instead, allow himself to get lost in the fresh memories of you.
He was the happiest he had ever been, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. To show you he had meant every single word that had come out of his mouth that night.
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tag list: @blaaiissee @hyuneytoast @staysuki @tardiscompanion @princehyun-jin @hyuka-luvbot @halesandy @nattisbored @qnjayn @hibuki-chan @purenjuniverse @seungly @suhnnyskiess @midsoulz @kwanisms @esme-ordaz @perriwiinkle @firnze @soobin-chois @moon-320 @multifandomizer @elviransworld @valewoos @ktttwwn @hazzaloveschopsuey @hannahdinse8 @youngestdelacour @zoe8stay @leechanniee @phenomenalgirl9 @aeminju @threevracha @kai-maree @laryisthinking @wolfietara @iam2out @kingggjaay @cosmic-railwayxo @straykidsficsrecsbaby @marsophilia @choibeomgogi @ddaengpotate @oceanyocean @rinsdesires @jhslmhbtsskz @lixlovesworld @keenlampponyclam @yerimselgi @mal-lunar-28 @littlestarhyun
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shootingstarrfish · 1 year ago
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Hello, I saw your post asking for art prompts/ideas? I don't know if you're still looking for HCs, but I have one for you just in case ☆
Satan and Solomon have regular, weekly study sessions. Sometimes it's in the library at the HoL, or it's in Solomon's room at Purgatory Hall, or sometimes it's at a café downtown because Satan knows the owner and they get complimentary coffee. These study sessions happen at LEAST once a week, because they're the only time that Satan feels like he can get actual work done (without the constant chaos of his brothers always disturbing him) and he feels like he can actually have an intelligent conversation, because Solomon is one of the very few people who's actually on Satan's level.
I just love that those two are actually good friends? And that there's a mutual respect there? Like, nerdy catboy solidarity lmao
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OMG OKAY HI i loved this so much i actually sketched this right after i saw it and ive been sitting on this sketch ever since, but the lineart was not linearting for the longest time BUT HERE WE ARE AT LAST <33 this is such a lovely headcanon thank you so much for sharing it!!!
satan solo friendship is such a fun concept, no idea why i hadnt considered it before it's funny to imagine satan initially befriending solomon to spite lucifer but realising how well they both get along. im sure satan still tries to piss lucifer off by making a big deal out of hanging out with the shady sorcerer he so despises, but they totally make a habit of meeting up to study or have lengthy conversations about who knows what
also i know putting Satan in a cat cafe is overdone as hell (ha) but sometimes things are overdone for a good reason :)
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murfpersonalblog · 2 months ago
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"[Anne Rice] wrote The Vampire Lestat some years after IWTV and was like see here he had an abusive childhood and that’s why he was abusive to Louis and see he’s the brat prince!!... (Her fave characters are literally the most patriarchal figures: Lestat, Marius, Armand) and you could tell she despised women in how she wrote them (and men she saw as women, like Louis).... The fact that Louis never got a backstory like Armand, Lestat or Marius pisses me off because we really know nothing about his youth and why he was the way he was as adult but [Anne] made sure that we knew the abusive patriarchs had abusive pasts with extensive story telling lmao." --@motorsportsandchill (x)
Omg I never thought of it this way before! 💯
(Thank god for Rolin Jones & Jacob Anderson. It's still a bit skewed, cuz we know a lot about both Lestat's mom AND dad, but very little about Louis' relationship with his dad--which I'm really curious about, considering what a pill Florence was. But something's better than nothing.)
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tojiscrack · 26 days ago
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hey tojiscrack! (can’t get over ur user lolll!) just wanted to drop by again to say that your fic is absolutely divine—truly everything i could ever want and more. i had a quick observation to share, though i’m not entirely sure if it holds up. ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡
so, from what i recall, megumi doesn’t like change (or am i tripping? i think it was mentioned in the earlier chapters). he seems very at ease with the current dynamic he shares with our little mermaid—so accustomed to her being by his side that the idea of anyone else being interested in her feels almost bizzare to him. 「( • ヘ •)
so far, there hasn’t been a strong, viable love interest for y/n other than megumi. even the flyer guy, who showed some interest, was quickly brushed aside. megumi seemed relieved by that, since it meant his status quo remained intact, with no real threat to disrupt the life he’s so familiar with as y/n wasn’t interested/didn’t even realize flyer guy had a crush on her. nothing changed and life could continue as normal for them hehe. (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)
now we have kamo expressing interest in someone, and while it could be anyone, my hunch is that it’s y/n (big surprise, right?). if y/n and kamo end up together, as you hinted at with the love triangle, it seems inevitable that megumi will *hate* it—much like he hated change in earlier chapters. even if it turns out to be the flyer guy, the result would be the same: megumi would despise the shift because it upends his sense of stability and changes the way things already are.
it feels like megumi’s aversion to change runs so deep that he’d rather remain friends with y/n and preserve the life he knows than risk complicating things by acting on his feelings. we’ve seen hints of his internal struggle, from how he reacted to her in elementary school, the airport hug scene, the dance scene, and more recently, when he claimed no one could have a crush on her, tweaking at the thought when she brought it up, how cute!! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝
i hope this makes sense, but essentially, my point is that megumi likely views anyone interested in y/n as a threat to his normalcy. he’s so resistant to change that it will undoubtedly be a major theme in the story, especially as y/n’s potential new relationship forces him to confront the reality that change is an inevitable part of life, especially as they grow older and navigate adolescence. 
or maybe i’m just yapping and everything i’ve said is just me doing obstacles to prove a point that doesn’t exist? idk, i saw the foreshadowing tag and now all i’ve been doing is actively looking for it hehe.
stay safe and omggg study for those exams girl, you’re in college!
liar, liar masterlist here:
WAIT…
IS THIS BIG BRAIN ANON? 🧠 😫
OMG IT MUST BEEEE, HELLOOO, I THOUGHT I’D NEVER HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN <333
okay let’s address this juicy thought 😋💓
my user is indeed stupid. i once again let everyone know that i am not a toji girly (like, at all). i am an AVID gojo girly through and through, he and i go way back and we’re going strong 💪❤️‍🔥 ‘tojiscrack’ is simply cuz it sounds funny LMAO, taster of what u’ll expect from my works. i’m also very, very, VERY flattered with all ur compliments. writing this story and reading ur comments and thoughts and amazing predictions, all of that is definitely the highlight of writing and publishing this altogether, so thank you sm for sharing! <3
no, you are most certainly not tripping. i think it was elementary school or smth, it was not only mentioned but vaguely implied that megumi the porcupine doesn’t like change. like, at all. he’s comfortable with the way things are: i wanted to parallel it to canon (EVERYTHING INSIDE THIS BRACKET IN BOLD INCLUDES MANGA SPOILERS FROM JJK266!!! — it was mentioned, tho i can’t remember the exact wording, that megumi just wants to be able to do the simple things with his family, the example being laundry. the change he experienced with sukuna and jujutsu society in general after gojo’s sealing was something he didn’t like, at all. albeit, it was very extreme, ANYONE would hate it, but his stance on doing something as simple as laundry inspired this stance megumi has in ‘liar, liar’, where he wants to remain comfortable with his friends and family as he is, a parallel to canon).
‘our little mermaid’ finished me, sorry 😭 don’t let her hear u saying that HAHA
i like this build up you’ve come up with (megumi seeing someone crush on y/n as ‘bizarre’) from just that (his discomfort with change). it’s accurate, scarily accurate. i can’t even try and sugar coat this one, but yeah. i was lowkey waiting for someone to realise that, i felt as if it was kinda in ur face but ig not 😭 well done!
here comes the debate tho! some of my readers have completely forgotten about jeremiah (the flyer guy), whereas others acknowledge him and believe him to be important in terms of the second love interest for the love triangle, and then you, who believes that he was important for the sole purpose of proving that point you’ve just made: that megumi was relieved by him being shrugged off, ‘cause it meant, in ur words, that ‘his status quo remained intact’.
because of the fact that everyone’s kinda torn on this, i am not gonna tell you whether you’re right or not 😋 i would have if there was just one collective stance on jeremiah, but there isn’t, and it’s fun reading all these theories, debates and predictions :) but i’m gonna say this: out of the three predictions for jeremiah, only one is completely right. now it’s time for everyone to guess which one it is (muahahahaha)!!!
‘we have kamo expressing interest in someone, and while it could be anyone, my hunch is that it's y/n’ — another thing my readers are lowkey torn on. this will be addressed in the next chapter as well as the chapter after that, so i’m not gonna say much on this just so that you can read those chapters with no spoilers 🌝 i can, however, say that you’re right with the whole megumi hating the love triangle thing again, and ur reasoning is half on point too (half, only ‘cause there’s another reason as well, but i wouldn’t expect you to know that ‘cause i haven’t touched upon this at all haha). but it won’t just be megumi hating this triangle — a lot of characters won’t be fans of it, including our mains, so no surprise there.
can i just add that you are so articulate as you’re explaining this? like your prediction is so extremely well thought out, and parts of it i’m only not revealing ‘cause it’s already gonna be shown in the next two chapters, so pls consider yourself SMART 😫👀
‘it feels like megumi's aversion to change runs so deep that he'd rather remain friends with y/n and preserve the life he knows than risk complicating things by acting on his feelings’
maybe. maybe not. interesting take. i’m patting myself on the back btw, u’ll find out why CHAPTERSSS away
‘we've seen hints of his internal struggle, from how he reacted to her in elementary school, the airport hug scene, the dance scene, and more’ — just curious, which scene in elementary school did you think this from? 🤔 i’m thinking you meant to write middle school, because there was an obvious change there that i wanted everyone to pick up on (and they have, thankfully 🤗) but maybe i’m just a lousy author who can’t remember wth happened in the earlier chapters 💀
‘i hope this makes sense’ — GIRL YOU DID NOT HAVE TO ADD THIS CUZ IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE <3 you’re so on point (and maybe not as well, but i shall not reveal this until later) about so many things here that i even considered just letting this rot in my inbox 😭 jk, i’d never do that ‘cause i want my readers picking this stuff up, so keep doing it! and i’ll eat it up every damn time 😤
but the whole ‘change is inevitable’ theme is kinda hinted at a lot, especially ‘cause… i was gonna reveal something i shouldn’t 😳 anyway, it’s a coming-of-age kinda story, and we all know change is inevitable there. megumi, despite being reluctant about it, knows it too.
‘or maybe i'm just yapping and everything i've said is just me doing obstacles to prove a point that doesn't exist?’ — three words: maybe you are. and that’s all you’re getting outta me 🌝🎀
the sole purpose of that foreshadowing tag is to force you to keep ur eyes open, and you’ve done just that, so pat ur back for me why don’t u? 🫣
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manic-sapphic · 23 days ago
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uggghh dude in spop s5e6 'taking control' tho
when adora basically tells catra "look ok fine, we're removing the chip forsure cause if we don't, i know horde prime will inevitably find you eventually and tbh i just dunno if i can live w worrying about that ok but also afterwards, if you really wanna be dropped off on the next planet - then alright i guess."
just omfg tho, the fact that what finally snaps catra in half but in regards to breaking her walls down i guess - what gets this gurl to finally be vulnerable w adora after all this time - what leaves her feeling absolutely defeated but in doing so, also forces her to give in and just fucking say how she feels/what she wants - something adora kinda needs tbh as the emotionally oblivious (but also very lovable) dummy she can often be - is simply just adora saying "you'll never have to see me again."
cause like, same as adora couldn't fucking handle fathoming losing catra for life when she thought she was straight gonna die in her arms during save the cat - catra couldn't conceive of an existence that didn't include adora in some way either. i mean, imo it's even why catra kept her close as an enemy in their time at odds w each other lol (aside from s4 when she thinks adora hates her now and will forever)
i think it's in the og script for save the cat - something i def rec looking up if you haven't read it btw - before bringing out catra, prime says something to adora along the lines of,
"of course. you're catra. bitter enemies, and yet, the two of you can never seem to stay away from from each other, can you?"
(ps i truly despise the way prime says catra's name tbh like it makes me so angry esp in his interactions mentioning her to adora before she comes out in save the cat.. like w this kinda condescending, mocking inflection. i fucking hate him so much lmao but i also know ain't no one tryna argue w me on that lol)
holy shit tho fr i get the decision to opt outta prime being the one to tell adora that she broke catra's heart - so much more weighted coming to adora from catra herself tbh. but there's another line i kinda woulda liked to see make it to the screen that also really got to me from the og script, it's something like "you used to talk of ruling the world together. up on that little spot on the roof that only you knew about. then you left... you broke her heart. you always wanted more... but all she ever wanted was you."
like honestly dude, if that minus the broke heart part - given as a line to catra later on in the ep instead - had actually been included in save the cat... hahaha omg idk if i coulda survived it tbh lol
and like just dude.. it's hard to fully fathom how fucking difficult it prob was for catra in that moment to swallow her pride, shut up the dumb neg self-talk in her head, and grab adora's hand before she could walk away. and omg, so so the most vulnerable moment we've yet to see for catra, aside from i guess maybe in the Promise ep where light hope fucks w both their heads so hard that catra does legit cry in front of adora -
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mrmanbat · 11 hours ago
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you wanted batman sooo i give you;
Tim being Red Hood in Reverse Robins AUs is a crime. And here's why; Baby Jason is RIGHT THERE with more older brothers than he knows what to do with. Let him die. Let the characters keep their own backstories and personalities, and let that affect how they treat each other in those Reverse Robins AUs; let Damian be one of the most well adjusted members of the family, since he came to his father at a young age and since he was the only child, he had the full attention of Bruce. Let Tim come along when Damian is like, 17 and in medical/veterinarian/art school. Maybe Tim has an angsty arc, but let it be something related to say ,the league of assassins, or losing all his friends (Kon and Bart), or his parents dying, or all of that. Maybe even a Joker Jr thing if you REALLY need him to be spicy, i dunno. Or go more into it with the LOA. Then let Jason come along and just be. Loved by all of them? It makes more sense for THESE CHARACTERS to actually really like Jason, unlike when Dick never really got to know him THAT well, Tim and Damian like him immediately. And then let Jason die. He dies HORRIBLY. And then a few months later Dick comes along, and This is what causes strife in the family. Damian and Tim see him as a replacement for Jason, and they're mad at bruce for it. I imagine they'd come around qucikly enough tho. None can resist Dick Grayson's charm lmao. But then Jason comes back, and he is so so so mad at them for replacing him. They loved him, he KNOWS they loved him, but they... replaced him that easily? Except they ALSO killed the joker (Damian and Tim have come so close to that line, and its not like Damian's never killed before, so this also causes some strife in the fam with Bruce) So we have this smol child becoming a crime lord, but not one that wants revenge or anything to do with the bats. One that believes he was unloved and replaceable, one that maybe despises dick grayson, wants to be dick grayson, but can't bring himself to harm the family who he once loved, who once loved HIM. cue angst. tl;dr, let Jason keep his story and it is SO MUCH BETTER than tim FREAKING drake becoming red hood. P.s. i just saw that u wanted ppl to talk abt batman on my dash so idk ur view on reverse robins at all lmao. sorry if u like tim as red hood ig. not rlly tho. this is better.
Yes yes yes yes yes!!!
Omg I frikin love you.
It actually feels like all the reverse Robin aus are written by Tim stans who desperately want to give this character surface level angst.
Broski had this entire arc with Red Robin and they just ignore it in favor of making him Jason 2.0?
It’s like they’re desperate to keep the same dynamics and events as in the non-au but then it’s just pointless?
Tbh the entire reverse Robin thing is kinda watered down. And if you really wanna give someone Jason’s arc give it to Steph. That at least makes move sense then Mr nepobaby over there.
(Wrote this tired- might edit later to make more concise and fix grammar)
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