#and i could've gone on with my life

[joanofexys]

i officially think i am too invested and do too much for literally everything

[isjasz]

[Day 155] Sunflowers always face the sun

-

So like. If sunflowers always face the sun and the majority of the sunflowers on scar's shawl are on his back and on the side does that mean scar still trusts grian with his back or he turned his back on him rejected him moved on or sometimes they wish they are by each other's sides again or are they allies or enemies this will be the death of m <- epic shower thoughts

[shorthaltsjester]

Imogen Temult, Exaltant Hope of the Red Storm

Heroes and Monsters by Penny & Sparrow // Critical Role Campaign 3

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[kissmypoets-hp]

just finished my 1:1 chat with my manager at work and i just found out she used to write DRAMIONE FANFICTION omg…. i wonder if i can get her to read drarry fanfiction in the year of our lord 2024…

[mintytrifecta]

I wonder how often what Rick says or thinks or does comes from diane. How much of what he does is because of her or for her, how much of what he says is an unconscious attempt to talk to her, or as her, because he can't bear an existence completely devoid of her. Does he ever see the world and try to look at it through her eyes?? Has his gradual shift in personality ever been an attempt to replicate her in some capacity because existing on an infinite scale means the only way to cope is to become the only thing that's finite? How much has he devoted in not only his life, but in his personhood, to the only being on the multiversal scale he can never replicate? How often does he see the world through lenses tinted with the color of her blood? The diane we saw in the hole was said for a fact to be how she would act outside of it, and she was so, so similar to Rick only after his downward spiral. Does he find any comfort in that? In knowing that his movement is being pulled by the very strings of her ghost? Does infinity ever dream of singularity and grieve for the fact it can't exist in the same place?

[lloydfrontera]

i don't know what would've been worse. if the summons vanished along with rakiel so there was no real sign of him still being alive somewhere out there. or if they were also left behind, waiting for him to come back from a place they couldn't follow him to. either way the possibilities are devastating <3

[foxstens]

sometimes i think about how tetsuji is actually kevin's godfather

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC.

Sebastian has been searching for himself ever since he has freed himself from the shackles of Arasaka. Stripped from his identity and only just now rediscovering his own agency in life, he struggles with seeing his own worth— too used to existing solely for a purpose, and too used to relying on others' perception of him to define this purpose in the first place. He wants nothing more than to get back to himself; if there even is a self to get back to at all. SEBASTIAN VIDAL || BELONGS TO @MOJAVES.

mahmoud darwish, i didn't apologize to the well // 'out of control', by ruslan isinev // salt in the wound; boygenius // vardges petrosyan, a shirt made of fire // by liam wong // this is love; air traffic controller // bilal al-shams, sacrifice // 'the dying gladiator', by pierre julien // flesh and bone; black math // by hel7l7 // romance; fontaines d.c. // 'the invisible man smokes', rick castro // little words; the happy fits // georges bataille, the dead man // by matthew grant anson // deep water; american authors // kay redfield jamison, an unquiet mind: a memoir of moods and madness

[maddymoreau]

I'm enjoying Fallout 3 a little more but there’s one thing that’s extremely bothering me.

How come, in the dialogue options, I can NEVER can mention, I was FORCED to leave the vault?

I didn’t have a choice but to leave. Jonas Palmer was beaten to death in attempts to get info about my father James. The Overseer was going to have the same done to me if not WORSE.

The Lone Wanderer: "So they killed Jonas, and I'm next, is that it?"

Amata: "Yeah. It's lucky I got here ahead of them. But we can't stand here talking! You're got to get out of here!"

I understand my father didn't know this would happen. That he simply thought I wouldn't be able to leave the vault after he escaped.

But the fact I can never explain what happened when reunited with him is just so ODD!?!?!!?

I COULDN’T STAY!!!!!!!

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION YOU SHOULD WANT TO KNOW DAD!!!!!

WHY ARE THESE MY ONLY OPTIONS?!?!?!?!!!!!

Why give me that entire section where I had to escape the vault to avoid MURDER!!?? If they were going to back me in a corner (dialogue wise) that I would've gone after my father no matter what.

It would've made the dialogue option, "Why would you throw away the life we had?" WAY MORE INTENSE AND INTERESTING IF I COULD TELL HIM HIS ACTIONS UNINTENTIONALLY AFFECTED ME!!!

It could've been followed by a cute bonding moment where he apologizes and says while this life was never what he wanted for me he'll now help me adjust however he can.

[nyan-bynary]

I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

[iamthehappyjester]

What if the real wolf was the among us we made along the way

[theancientdarkbeauty]

Yall idk what the hELL my dentist did to me I just wanted my teeth clean I haven't been able to eat solid food or talk for long periods of time all fucking DAY man wtf did you do in there my guy WITCHCRAFT?????

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

for the asura ask game: 2, 3 & 5 for Ruju

Just an asura ask game

Thanks for the ask!! Cracks my fingers... You really went right for the messy ones there. Time to free more Rat Lore, but this time Familial Drama Edition! (You know the drill, under the cut it goes!)

2. Where were they born? Did they like the place? Did they grow up there or did they move away at some point? Do they wish things went differently?

Ruju's youngest years were spent out in a small settlement around Mount Maelstrom, not too far from the Crucible of Eternity. It was mostly populated by other Inquest personnel who, like his mother, were just living nearby to maintain an easier commute-- and some of them had progeny of their own, too. They didn't exactly get along.

(That was how he earned his distinctive gold false tooth.)

Ruju hated everything about the place; the surroundings were dangerous so he couldn't go anywhere, the other kids were jerks, the adults always acted so weird about him like they thought one wrong move might get them chucked into the volcano(because it very well might), and that wasn't even mentioning the facility itself. He might've been young but he certainly wasn't stupid; whatever was going on in that place raised every hair on the back of his neck. To him the only good thing about it was Sylffa, a progeny of one of the few resident asura who WEREN'T working at the Inquest facility.

And then the home lab accident happened, and Ruju's parents decided maybe mixing home life and work wasn't such a great idea.

After that his father brought him to Rata Sum and he saw them both a lot less from then on. They still came by each evening, but he mostly relied on the household golems if he needed anything; their ambition had always come first and that wasn't about to change anytime soon. That almost felt like a blessing, though.

Looking back, he wishes he'd just ran away from it all sooner.

3. What's their family like? Are they still around? Do they like them and get along? Are there any expectations coming from them?

WHEW BOY. Ruju's family life was... Not great! Here's some mockups of his parents to start; Klixx on the left, Kroma on the right.

Both of his parents were hardcore Inquest, and neither of them were particularly pleasant people. His mother Kroma was a researcher who largely specialized in the study and manipulation of magical energies, and was an elementalist like Ruju. While not much of a fighter, she was highly recognized for her cold ambition and intense work ethic; no obstacle could hold her back for long, moral quandaries included. Pretty much everyone who knew her was stunned when she settled down at all, even if she got right back to work shortly after.

His father, however, was an Inquest debt collector-- but not just any Inquest debt collector. He was the type that high-ranking overseers sent in to cut off any further questions. Klixx shows up on your doorstep? You better hope you have a will and that you hid it somewhere very, very secure. The guy was known for his brutality, and more notably, for making his targets disappear without a trace. The Arcane Eye had tried many, MANY times to recruit him to their own team to no avail; they only gave up after he sent one of their 'messengers' back in a box, charred to a nearly unidentifiable crisp with a simple unsigned note attached. 'This cremation is a complimentary free sample. Next time it's coming with a bill.'

As far they were concerned, their progeny was meant to continue and extend their legacy; the pair formed a long-term contractual relationship specifically to benefit both of their own ambitions. Having a kid was just one facet of that. They expected Ruju to exceed expectations just as much as they did, and in very much the same ways. Instead they got a kid who struggled with focus and memory issues, couldn't sit still, hated lectures, frequently zoned out, didn't take notes well, and lacked any kind of identifiable ambition. He was bad at basically everything that asura society expected for success.

All that insecurity, self-hatred, projection, and so on that Ruju struggles with throughout his entire life? Yeah. That didn't exactly come out of nowhere. They made no mystery of their displeasure.

It was shortly before his college years that Ruju started really resenting them for it all though, and when they were eager to send him off even to the point of using their own status to add a bit of extra pressure? Ruju took it and ran. It got him out of that dingy little apartment cube and meant he didn't have to hear every night about how disappointing he was. They saw it as one last chance to redeem himself, he saw it as his easiest way out of a home he hated.

During those years they occasionally bailed him out of a Peacemaker cell, but Ruju knew it wasn't out of kindness; they just wanted to cover their own reputations, simple as that. And truth-be-told, part of him relished draining their bank account and embarrassing them by then. Petty and self-destructive as it was, he didn't really care how much of a scene he made because they'd absolutely hate it.

(Mind you, they were also trying to keep anyone from noticing and studying his magical abnormalities, but he didn't know that!)

After college he never hears from them again. They expected him to go into the Inquest like them, but he wanted no part of that. It's not until the Crucible of Eternity that he finds out about the studies being discreetly conducted on him while he was in Rata Sum-- and that his mother didn't survive the facility's security breach.

Ruju never really decided how to feel about that. In a way, her final act was the only reason he ever learned the truth, and whether he liked it or not... She'd still cared enough to keep his identity secret.

His father, though? Ruju has no idea, but hopes he stays missing.

He doesn't know what he'll do if they cross paths again.

5. What's their approach to romance? Do/did they have any partner? Are they more interested in relationships with a predetermined end date or are they looking for a stable long-term relationship? Is the option of having/adopting progeny on the table?

Saying Ruju's relationship with the concept of romance is messy would be a massive understatement. Truth is? It'd be a stretch to say he even HAS an approach to romance at all. The guy's charisma stat is somewhere in the negatives and it just keeps dropping.

That's not to say he hasn't had crushes though-- he certainly has! Ruju just never bothered to pursue them, either due to lack of confidence or just being such an absolute disaster that he fumbled it on sight and slunk away in shame. Or, better yet, he fumbled some BEFORE he even realized he had a crush, only noticing he liked them AFTER he's already spent like 2 years being an insufferable jerk. There's definitely been at least a few of those.

So, the fact this guy has never dated is probably not a surprise.

And after becoming the Commander? That adds a whole extra layer of complexity to the situation. While there's a part of him that appreciates people looking up to him for once, Ruju knows full well that someone who is only into him because of his famous hero shtick is going to be SORELY disappointed once they get to know him. He wants someone to like him for who he is, not who they think he is.

Given his many insecurities and low self-confidence, what he really needs is stability; someone that makes him feel safe and secure, but can still firmly grab and ground him if he's being unreasonable. Taming his fiery nature takes a patient and thoughtful hand.

All that in mind, the guy might put on a tough act but he's basically a porcupine made of butter. Even the SLIGHTEST amount of warmth and affection melts him into a puddle. He's the type who'd be trying very, very hard to make sure a partner is happy, and puts extra effort into figuring out what a partner likes so he can make sure they're happy. (He's also surprisingly cuddly, though he'll NEVER admit this) At his core, Ruju's love language has always been through action. As for future plans... he's very much a loyal to the end type of guy. A contract with a set end date would just remind him of his parents-- and he wants NO part of that similarity. He'd much rather go with the flow than formally predetermine anything-- and he ESPECIALLY wouldn't be interested in combining it with work in any capacity. If they have to part ways, they'll cross that bridge when they get there. Even then though he wouldn't necessarily hold a grudge though, probably still willing to be friends if they're also open to it.

The question of progeny is... Complicated. Prior to Aurene, there's no way he'd have felt like he could be a good parent-- and even after helping raise her, he still doesn't really feel like that was his ideal role. With his own messed up childhood he's very, very worried about not just being a bad influence, but letting his own upbringing influence him. Ruju isn't really confident that he'd be able to give a child the healthy environment they deserve, even if he wanted to.

If Ruju had a partner that he knew could help him learn as they go, though, he might agree to it... Tentatively. It'd be a really hard decision for him to commit to. But when push comes to shove, Ruju wouldn't actually be such a bad father; the guy has a lot more love in his heart than he gives himself credit for. He doesn't have any particular preference in mind between adoption or raising a child of their own. No matter the circumstances he'd love them just the same.

... And he'd almost certainly develop a reputation for being TOO supportive if anything. If nothing else, he'd never let them believe for one moment that he doesn't love 'em to bits. (Even if he embarrasses them a LOT in the process by being a total goof all the time)

[doctor-disc0]

Hello darkness my old friend (literally)