#thanks for the ask though!! this was a lot of fun to tackle

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

for the asura ask game: 2, 3 & 5 for Ruju

Just an asura ask game

Thanks for the ask!! Cracks my fingers... You really went right for the messy ones there. Time to free more Rat Lore, but this time Familial Drama Edition! (You know the drill, under the cut it goes!)

2. Where were they born? Did they like the place? Did they grow up there or did they move away at some point? Do they wish things went differently?

Ruju's youngest years were spent out in a small settlement around Mount Maelstrom, not too far from the Crucible of Eternity. It was mostly populated by other Inquest personnel who, like his mother, were just living nearby to maintain an easier commute-- and some of them had progeny of their own, too. They didn't exactly get along.

(That was how he earned his distinctive gold false tooth.)

Ruju hated everything about the place; the surroundings were dangerous so he couldn't go anywhere, the other kids were jerks, the adults always acted so weird about him like they thought one wrong move might get them chucked into the volcano(because it very well might), and that wasn't even mentioning the facility itself. He might've been young but he certainly wasn't stupid; whatever was going on in that place raised every hair on the back of his neck. To him the only good thing about it was Sylffa, a progeny of one of the few resident asura who WEREN'T working at the Inquest facility.

And then the home lab accident happened, and Ruju's parents decided maybe mixing home life and work wasn't such a great idea.

After that his father brought him to Rata Sum and he saw them both a lot less from then on. They still came by each evening, but he mostly relied on the household golems if he needed anything; their ambition had always come first and that wasn't about to change anytime soon. That almost felt like a blessing, though.

Looking back, he wishes he'd just ran away from it all sooner.

3. What's their family like? Are they still around? Do they like them and get along? Are there any expectations coming from them?

WHEW BOY. Ruju's family life was... Not great! Here's some mockups of his parents to start; Klixx on the left, Kroma on the right.

Both of his parents were hardcore Inquest, and neither of them were particularly pleasant people. His mother Kroma was a researcher who largely specialized in the study and manipulation of magical energies, and was an elementalist like Ruju. While not much of a fighter, she was highly recognized for her cold ambition and intense work ethic; no obstacle could hold her back for long, moral quandaries included. Pretty much everyone who knew her was stunned when she settled down at all, even if she got right back to work shortly after.

His father, however, was an Inquest debt collector-- but not just any Inquest debt collector. He was the type that high-ranking overseers sent in to cut off any further questions. Klixx shows up on your doorstep? You better hope you have a will and that you hid it somewhere very, very secure. The guy was known for his brutality, and more notably, for making his targets disappear without a trace. The Arcane Eye had tried many, MANY times to recruit him to their own team to no avail; they only gave up after he sent one of their 'messengers' back in a box, charred to a nearly unidentifiable crisp with a simple unsigned note attached. 'This cremation is a complimentary free sample. Next time it's coming with a bill.'

As far they were concerned, their progeny was meant to continue and extend their legacy; the pair formed a long-term contractual relationship specifically to benefit both of their own ambitions. Having a kid was just one facet of that. They expected Ruju to exceed expectations just as much as they did, and in very much the same ways. Instead they got a kid who struggled with focus and memory issues, couldn't sit still, hated lectures, frequently zoned out, didn't take notes well, and lacked any kind of identifiable ambition. He was bad at basically everything that asura society expected for success.

All that insecurity, self-hatred, projection, and so on that Ruju struggles with throughout his entire life? Yeah. That didn't exactly come out of nowhere. They made no mystery of their displeasure.

It was shortly before his college years that Ruju started really resenting them for it all though, and when they were eager to send him off even to the point of using their own status to add a bit of extra pressure? Ruju took it and ran. It got him out of that dingy little apartment cube and meant he didn't have to hear every night about how disappointing he was. They saw it as one last chance to redeem himself, he saw it as his easiest way out of a home he hated.

During those years they occasionally bailed him out of a Peacemaker cell, but Ruju knew it wasn't out of kindness; they just wanted to cover their own reputations, simple as that. And truth-be-told, part of him relished draining their bank account and embarrassing them by then. Petty and self-destructive as it was, he didn't really care how much of a scene he made because they'd absolutely hate it.

(Mind you, they were also trying to keep anyone from noticing and studying his magical abnormalities, but he didn't know that!)

After college he never hears from them again. They expected him to go into the Inquest like them, but he wanted no part of that. It's not until the Crucible of Eternity that he finds out about the studies being discreetly conducted on him while he was in Rata Sum-- and that his mother didn't survive the facility's security breach.

Ruju never really decided how to feel about that. In a way, her final act was the only reason he ever learned the truth, and whether he liked it or not... She'd still cared enough to keep his identity secret.

His father, though? Ruju has no idea, but hopes he stays missing.

He doesn't know what he'll do if they cross paths again.

5. What's their approach to romance? Do/did they have any partner? Are they more interested in relationships with a predetermined end date or are they looking for a stable long-term relationship? Is the option of having/adopting progeny on the table?

Saying Ruju's relationship with the concept of romance is messy would be a massive understatement. Truth is? It'd be a stretch to say he even HAS an approach to romance at all. The guy's charisma stat is somewhere in the negatives and it just keeps dropping.

That's not to say he hasn't had crushes though-- he certainly has! Ruju just never bothered to pursue them, either due to lack of confidence or just being such an absolute disaster that he fumbled it on sight and slunk away in shame. Or, better yet, he fumbled some BEFORE he even realized he had a crush, only noticing he liked them AFTER he's already spent like 2 years being an insufferable jerk. There's definitely been at least a few of those.

So, the fact this guy has never dated is probably not a surprise.

And after becoming the Commander? That adds a whole extra layer of complexity to the situation. While there's a part of him that appreciates people looking up to him for once, Ruju knows full well that someone who is only into him because of his famous hero shtick is going to be SORELY disappointed once they get to know him. He wants someone to like him for who he is, not who they think he is.

Given his many insecurities and low self-confidence, what he really needs is stability; someone that makes him feel safe and secure, but can still firmly grab and ground him if he's being unreasonable. Taming his fiery nature takes a patient and thoughtful hand.

All that in mind, the guy might put on a tough act but he's basically a porcupine made of butter. Even the SLIGHTEST amount of warmth and affection melts him into a puddle. He's the type who'd be trying very, very hard to make sure a partner is happy, and puts extra effort into figuring out what a partner likes so he can make sure they're happy. (He's also surprisingly cuddly, though he'll NEVER admit this) At his core, Ruju's love language has always been through action. As for future plans... he's very much a loyal to the end type of guy. A contract with a set end date would just remind him of his parents-- and he wants NO part of that similarity. He'd much rather go with the flow than formally predetermine anything-- and he ESPECIALLY wouldn't be interested in combining it with work in any capacity. If they have to part ways, they'll cross that bridge when they get there. Even then though he wouldn't necessarily hold a grudge though, probably still willing to be friends if they're also open to it.

The question of progeny is... Complicated. Prior to Aurene, there's no way he'd have felt like he could be a good parent-- and even after helping raise her, he still doesn't really feel like that was his ideal role. With his own messed up childhood he's very, very worried about not just being a bad influence, but letting his own upbringing influence him. Ruju isn't really confident that he'd be able to give a child the healthy environment they deserve, even if he wanted to.

If Ruju had a partner that he knew could help him learn as they go, though, he might agree to it... Tentatively. It'd be a really hard decision for him to commit to. But when push comes to shove, Ruju wouldn't actually be such a bad father; the guy has a lot more love in his heart than he gives himself credit for. He doesn't have any particular preference in mind between adoption or raising a child of their own. No matter the circumstances he'd love them just the same.

... And he'd almost certainly develop a reputation for being TOO supportive if anything. If nothing else, he'd never let them believe for one moment that he doesn't love 'em to bits. (Even if he embarrasses them a LOT in the process by being a total goof all the time)

[earlysunshines]

order for delivery!

pham hanni x fem!reader

synopsis: hanni is a terrible multi-tasker and it's very evident when her phone is in between her ear and shoulder while she orders delivery. she's messily figuring out what to tackle on her calendar first as she mumbles her order, what lecture notes to go over, when her midterms fall---and oops, she just said 'love you, bye' to the worker on the other end of the phone.

warnings: none(?) i think it's just rly silly and cute and fluffy ; anything else i didn't mention ; not proofread

a/n: ugh she's so cute and such a loser and UGH anyways i wrote this so quickly but maybe that's because i love thsi fic so much it was so so so fun to write omfg ENJOY!!

hanni is a terrible multitasker, it only ends up in her getting things mixed up and done slower. still, she does it anyway.

her phone is tucked awkwardly between her ear and shoulder, fingers tapping at the laptop keyboard while scrolling through lecture notes. “uh, yeah… chicken lo mein with extra chicken… and um also…” she squinted at the calendar on her screen. “what was i supposed to— oh, right… midterm next wednesday. right, cool.”

on the other end you listened patiently, smiling to yourself and holding back a small giggle as she mumbled half an order while clearly being busy with other things.

“wait, sorry!” she apologizes quickly, realizing she hadn’t ordered what minji and haerin had asked for. “also six steamed pork dumplings— no, twelve please. shrimp fried rice and… wait, i already said that, right? ugh—anyway, just, yeah, add that too.”

you ring it all up, smiling wider. “anything else?”

there’s a brief moment of silence until you hear, “huh? oh, no, that’s it.” she replies absentmindedly. she had been paying no attention at all, flipping through her notes and muttering to herself quietly about what she needed to review before the weekend. “uh, yeah, thanks—love you, bye.”

another beat of silence passes before you chime in, voice playful. “love you too.”

you could practically hear her freeze, the realization hits her. you hear a gasp on the other end of the phone, sharp and followed by a small curse.

‘w-wait, what?” hanni stammers, cheeks heating up like crazy. everything hanni had been bombarded with halts. her hands freeze on the laptop, her phone almost slips from her shoulder, and the papers she had been holding with the other hand have all landed on teh counter. everything hanni had been thinking about—midterm wednesday, lecture notes, module 2.2, chapter three reading—dissapear from her mind in a blink.

she hears a laugh on the other end, then a voice that sends a shiver down her spine. 

“your total is $28.41, by the way.”

“god, i’m sorry.” hanni rushes out the apology, face palming herself. “i didn’t mean it— not that i don’t love you! well, i mean, i don’t know you, so i don’t love you. not that i hate you! no hard feelings. i’m not saying you’re— okay i’m, i’m going to go. bye. thank you. sorry.”

hanni presses the red button on her phone, ending the call and cringing to herself. hanni is more than glad that her friends in the living room hadn’t heard the most embarassing phonecall of her life. if any of them were to witness it, she’d never live it down. her cheeks are fuming against her hand; she’s a mess, she really needs to stop tackling twelve things at once even though it brings her some type of comfort—less chaos during lots of chaos makes it seem like something manageable.

she clicks through a bunch of tabs, skims through a few lines on her paper, and then closes her laptop. she does this while being distracted by the whole one minute interaction from earlier, shooting herself in the head mentally everytime she thinks of it.

less than twenty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up. hanni knows it’s not the person on the phone, because when the man speaks, it’s not the same voice that sent a weird shiver down her spine when she realized they said “love you too” back to her.

she takes the two bags over to her living room, setting them down in front of two ravenous students—otherwise known as her best friends danielle and minji—watching their eyes sparkle just from the sight. she rolls her eyes at them, sitting down against her small couch and leaning against as they waste no time to dig in and unbox.

hanni’s the last one to reach in and grab something to munch on—mistake number one. mistake number two is catching minji furrowing her brows at a piece of paper, pickiing it up and reading, instead of stopping her before she can do any of that.

her best friend reads it outloud in a confused tone: “i put two extra fortune cookies in there,” minji begins, danielle scoots over to read too. “hope your fortune is as sweet as your voice. love, the girl you don’t hate, but don’t love :(“

“p.s. you sound cute when you’re caught off guard ;-)”

minji finishes reading, and then the two of her friends look up, staring down hanni.

“hanni, what’s this?”

“i— give me that!” hanni says, face burning up. she swipes the paper from minji’s hand, looking at the paper and covering it with her hand like her friends hadn’t just read it together. she cringes, closing her eyes and falling down on teh floor. “i’m an idiot.”

“hanniiiiii” danielle whines, scooting over to shake her by her shoulders while she’s on the floor. “what’s that about? do you have an admirer or something?”

“i can’t tell you, i just, i’m so stupid.”

“dude, what?” minji questions, completely ignoring the steaming, delicious food on the coffee table. “explain—now.”

hanni feels her heart beating like crazy, then she gives in and sits up. her face is most definitely beet red, maybe even worse when she glances at the note again.

“i accidentally said ‘love you, bye’ to the worker on the phone.” hanni says quietly, shaking her head. “and she said it back.”

“she what?” danielle and minji say in unison, looking at her in disbelief.

hanni lets out a weird noise, overwhelmed and flustered beyond words. she looks down at the note again through the spaces in her fingers as she covers her face, not noticing any name or anything that might lead to another encounter with the mystery girl on the other end of the line. this disappoints her a bit, but even if she were to have a name or number or anything, she wouldn’t be able to face you. 

after getting teased to death, the trio indulges in food after a very long and tiring study session. the conversation shifts to annoying professors, upcoming midterms, plans for when they all have free time—but hanni is still thinking of you, oddly enough.

—

a little over a week from that day, hanni orders takeout again. she’s somehow forgotten (for the most part) her embarrassing interaction, probably because her midterm is tomorrow and she’s completely forgotten to eat. her phone sits in between her shoulder and ear again, head tilted awkwardly to rush out an order. 

“alpha waves, altruism, anorexia nervosa… shit, sorry. um yeah, i’d like six steamed dumplings please, pork. umm… chow mein— no, scratch that. shrimp fried rice please.” her words are hurried out her mouth as she furrows her brows at her laptop screen, clicking through slides and trying to comprehend two units of psychology in one night. “that’s it, thank you, love you.”

hanni stops in place, frozen in shock. there is no way.

“wow, you must be smitten, huh?” she hears on the end of the line, followed by a small chuckle. “love you too, ‘hp.’” hanni had never used her full name when ordering things, well, only food. she always had this fear of sharing her legal name unless it was for unconsumable orders. “your total is $14.89 by the way.” 

you hear a groan on the end of the line, followed by what sounds like pens and pencils hitting the floor.

“...you alright?”

hanni, caught off guard by the whole conversation for the most part, but also the fact that you noticed how she had just spilled half her supplies onto her apartment floor, answers with a simple, “yeah.”

“that’s good to hear.”

“i’m really sorry, again, for the… you know.”

“your undying love for me?”

“what?” hanni says, completely disregarding the pens, pencils, and highlighters on the floor. “i- no! no. i’m not in love with you! i didn’t mean it—”

“i’m teasing, hp.” she hears the smile in your voice. “would you like an extra fortune? last time i had heard from you i remember something about a midterm.”

“you remembered?” it sounds a little pathetic, maybe desperate coming from hanni, but hanni couldn’t care less. she’s tired, overwhelmed, and has gone over so much work in the span of a few days that she really can’t think or function correctly.

“yeah, not many people sound as young as you. it’s usually a parent or something ordering for their family at this time. plus, you made my shift.” you confess, “i thought it was cute, you know, how frantic you had ordered your meal.”

“i’m really sorry about that, like seriously, i’m really, really sorry.”

“it’s okay hp.”

“right, yeah. i uh, i have to study. sorry— i don’t know why i’m saying sorry, ugh, sorry. thanks, bye.”

“no ‘love you?’” you ask, and before hanni can answer you respond, “kidding. i’ll throw in two fried wontons, have a good night hp.”

the call ends and hanni blinks a few times as she tries to process what just happened. she’s embarrassed beyond words, just as flustered too. there might even be a blush on her cheeks, she can’t stop thinking about how smooth you were with your teasing, plus the way your voice sounded. 

hanni thinks it’s the midterm getting to her, the stress. she cleans up the mess on the floor and goes through her vocabulary notes. she hears a knock on the door twenty minutes later which makes her jump in her seat.

she grabs the bag of fried rice and dumplings, placing it on the counter before taking everything out. hanni hears her stomach rumble a bit, she definitely underestimated how hungry she was.

before hanni digs in, she notices two fortune cookies and a note at the bottom. she completely ignores the cookies, grabbing the note and opening it up to see the same small handwriting from last time:

“i’m guessing your initials are hp? i could be wrong… 

hp like harry potter? it makes sense because you’re magical.

good luck on your midterm! hopefully you’ll order for a post-midterm celebration.

p.s. there are extra fried wontons ;p”

hanni smiles as she reads the note. pause. hanni stops smiling immediately when she becomes aware of the fact that she’s smiling because of a note. a note from a mystery woman on the other end of the line.

—

midterms are over, all of them. hanni had gone through all four midterms. all four. hanni’s burnt out to oblivion, finding comfort in her bed as soon as she gets back from her last midterm. she checks her messages and is greeted by the groupchat she’s in with danielle and minji.

minji: FINALLY i feel like a fish that’s been gutted out it’s not even finals lowk wasn’t even that bad actually how about you guys

danielle: my midterm is in an hour!  wish me luck :D how was yours hanni?

hanni: i’m about to PASS OUT why did i choose forensics

minji: because you’re a nerd don’t let one biology midterm screw you over who’s going to take care of my body parts when i suddenly get murdered

danielle: woah quite a situation, no?

hanni: uagghshhskafhjk i’m going to sleep GOODNIGHT do you guys want to come over later dani do you need time to unwind before you come over

danielle: no that’s alright! i find your apartment quite cozy i’ll just crash there right after, thanks han okay i’m going to review a bit more wish me luck!

minji: good luck mo dani!! you can do it  we love you

hanni: good luck! you’ve got this

danielle:  ❤️

hanni smiles at danielle’s message, she’s always so positive—even through text, even during these trying times. she decides to pass out for almost two hours, waking up groggy and finding herself almost tripping all the way back to her couch in the living room. she sighs as she collapses onto the cushions, waiting for minji and danielle to come over.

then her thoughts race back to you, embarassingly enough. she thinks about your stupid flirting, your stupid voice, and the stupid giggle she could hear through the phone. she thinks about how stupid she is for smiling, how stupid she is. everything is stupid.

hanni is fantasizing about some random person she’s ordered affordable chinese food from, she doesn’t even know her name. 

(hanni’s brain is mush.)

instinctively, she goes through her recent calls, dialing the number of the restaurant that serves her favorite dumplings. 

it rings for a few seconds before someone answers, “hello?”

the voice isn’t familiar whatsoever, hanni feels a strange discomfort in her stomach. 

hanni doesn’t realize that she hasn’t spoken a word until the second “hello?” is uttered. she breaks from her trance.

“hi, hello, yeah, hi.”

“hello, what can i get you?”

hanni purses her lips before replying, “oh, um.” she sounds like a sad child. “fried rice, i’ll do chicken. wontons, fried, twelve of them. could i also get beef-broccoli lo mein?”

she hears nothing for about three seconds, then a hum. “got it, could i get a name for that order?”

“hp.” 

“y/n’s ‘hp?’” who the hell is y/n? hanni thinks to herself. 

“what?”

“nevermind.” the worker says with her monotone voice. “will that be it?”

“yeah, thank you.” hanni doesn’t say ‘love you’ this time. she tells herself it’s because she’s not preoccupied with at least three things in that same moment, but a part of it is because it’s not the same voice that she had been expecting to hear. “what’s the total?”

“$24.12. it’ll be over in a little more than twenty minutes.”

“okay, thank you.” hanni says, and instead of hearing something snarky back—she hears a hum, and then the call ends.

…

you walk into work later than usual, one of your midterms had been pushed a bit later, so your hours were cut off. 

as you walk in, you catch your coworker’s head snap up. as soon as she realizes it’s you, she relaxes a bit.

“good evening haerin!” you beam, somehow upbeat and lively even after your grueling calculus midterm. “miss me?”

“just had to take more calls than i ever do in one week.” she sighs, watching you move over behind the counter and push your bag under the desk. “so maybe a little.”

“awww, you missed me so much.”

“shut up.” haerin groans, sitting down in the little chair where no customers can catch her. “you know what you missed?”

“what?”

“your girlfriend called—miss hp.”

“hp?!” you say it like you’ve just missed the train that comes every two hours. “seriously? did she say ‘love you?’”

“of course that’s what you’re so animated about.” haerin rolls her eyes at you, shrugging. “she didn’t.”

a sigh of relief escapes your lips, a very exaggerated one for that matter. then you frown, sitting down in the spinny chair nearby and rotating yourself in your seat like a little kid.

“i can’t believe i missed her.”

“you’re actually insane for flirting with a customer.”

“she has a cute voice.”

“you don’t even know her y/n.” haerin scoots over, but only to flick you in the forehead. she leans back in her seat, smirking. you rub your skin and pout at her, making her roll her eyes once more before she continues on, “she could be old, crinkly, and married or something. what if she’s like… balding? what if her teeth are falling out and she—”

“why are you assuming the worst haerin. you’re so— whatever. she sounds my age, i guess. it’s just fun to mess around, it’s cute.”

“i will never get you.” your coworker crosses her arms, jumping at the sound of the phone ringing. “could you get that? i’ve run out of social battery.”

“it’s a phone call haerin.”

“talking to you drained me already.”

you frown, making her giggle at you.

—

the next time hanni calls is two days later, because she’s a loser that can’t seem to get the thought of the chinese restaurant employee who keeps flirting with her (albeit smoothly) out of her head. the phone rings twice, then someone picks up, and hanni waits eagerly.

“hi, pledis plates, how can i help?” it’s you, it’s you. the memory of hearing ‘y/n’s hp?’ pops up in her head—could you be y/n? you have to be.

“hi.” hanni says simply, biting the inside of her lip. she hears a small chuckle on the other end of the line, slightly relieved.

“if it isn’t hp.” it comes out cheeky, making hanni blush. “missed you, you know?”

“what?”

“did you miss me too?”

“i–” yes. hanni did miss you, not like she’d admit it, at least out loud. “i’d like to order dumplings.”

“harsh.” you respond jokingly, “six, pork, and steamed, got it.”

“you memorized it?” 

“you ordered it last time.”

hanni can’t help but laugh, smiling as she holds the phone against her ear. “you must be head over heels to be remembering my order.”

“you’re the one who confessed first though?”

“that was a mistake.”

“uh huh.” amusement is laced in your tone. “it’ll be five dollars, should be there in less than twenty.”

“great.”

 hanni doesn’t know what else to say. you both pause, letting silence and the faint static ring in your ears.

“what happened to the usual goodbye?”

hanni feels herself shrinking in her bed, feet kicking slightly, blush forming. god, she’s head over heels, she’s insane, she doesn’t know a single thing about you other than the fact that you have a really endearing voice and that your flirting is enough to have her smiling like an idiot.

“thanks, bye.” neither of you hang up after hanni says it, knowing there’s something missing. hanni pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling her stomach closing in on herself and simultaneously doing a flip. her heart nearly jumps out of her chest as she chokes out, “love you.”

“i was waiting for that one.”

“a-are you— really?”

“yeah.” you simply state, and you say nothing else but, “bye hp.”

“you’re not going to say it back?”

you grin to yourself. hanni hears a small, amused laugh fromthe other end, sending a shiver down her spine. “i don’t fold that easy, maybe next time.” you hang up right after, leaving hanni dumbfounded.

hanni looks at her phone like you’re going to call back, but you don’t. she drops the phone on her bed, putting both hands over her face and feeling her skin burn against her palms. she groans, then groans again, and sighs finally. 

maybe next time. there’s going to be a next time—hanni has that at least.

—

hanni calls again the next monday, around two days after the last call. it’s the same day she had first said the infamous ‘love you’ to you on accident. she calls at around the same time, laptop on her lap as she taps lightly on the backspace key, though not enough to actually press it. she wonders to herself for a moment, is the dent in her wallet really worth it? has she really reached rock bottom?

“pledis plates, what would you like to order?”

it’s not you. hanni sinks into the cushion of her couch and feels herself deflate. she can’t always call with the assumption that you’ll pick up, there are other employees after all. this time, it’s the same monotone voice she had heard before, a stark contrast to your flirtatious, lively tone.

“hi, i’d just like—”

“ah, hp.”

“how did you—”

“i remember your voice from last time. y/n was quite sad when she realized she’d missed your call by twenty minutes.”

“what do you mean?”

“she came into work late, midterms or something.”

midterms. the information alone gives her the assumption that you’re also in college, maybe even in her grade, and if she’s pushing it maybe you even go to her university. she conjures up a better picture of you now, not quite clear or concrete, but it’s something.

“is she a student?”

“i don’t know if i can leak that, she told me to be very secretive about her. i don’t think you’ll have trouble finding out more though, she never shuts up.”

hanni snickers, so you’re a talker too. yeah, hanni’s into that.

“well now i know her name.”

“do what you will with that.” the girl mutters. hanni hears a small sigh, then another response, “hey, y/n was curious about you. are you in high school?”

“what— no! do i sound like it?”

“you sound young.” the girl on the end of the line—haerin—shrugs. she continues, “y/n thinks you’re the same age as her, she also assumes you’re cute. i guess no one will know until a miracle happens.”

“i can’t tell if you’re insulting me.” hanni chuckles awkwardly, but haerin doesn’t respond.  “but if it helps, anyway, i’m a sophomore in college. tell her i’m interested in forensics.”

“okay.”

silence follows again, but haerin hasn’t hung up, and hanni still holds the phone against her ear expecting something more. hanni decides to take another step, asking, “y/n, how is… could you like, describe her?”

“physically or…? well, i can do a brief description. to start off: annoying, jokes a lot, pretends to be all mopey when insulted. physically: taller than me—i’d say taller than a lot of women. she has a nice smile i guess, but it’s the kind you want to wipe off her face, ugh, it’s like she’s making fun of you when she does it. her hair is also always a little messy, she says its for the ‘appeal,’ but i see none.”

hanni fights back a giggle. this woman has just spilled a good amount, a perfect amount in hanni’s eyes (any amount is alright, anything more than a name). this ‘y/n’ is tall, taller than most women, and hanni is shorter than most; hanni is into that, she loves taller girls. and messy hair too? that’s cute, probably. as long as it’s not the same type of messy that men rock around—men that barely shower or do anything. essentially: compsci majors—then hanni will be alright. you sound wonderful.

“did you want to order anything? or are did you just want to flirt with the idiot.”

“hey! hey, hey. lets not— ugh, okay, could i just get um, six pork dumplings—steamed.”

“okay.” the girl says quietly, and then hanni hears some light tapping. “six dumplings for hp.”

“hanni. it’s hanni. my name is hanni.”

“got it the first time.”

“you’re bright, aren’t you?”

“your order is going to be there later, bye.” and then the girl hangs up, leaving hanni speechless.

—

hanni waits a few days to call, because she doesn’t remember dialing on tuesdays or wednesdays and hearing a voice that brings her a little thrill. she leans against her counter waiting for a response, then lights up when she hears,

“pledis plates, how can i help?”

“y/n.” hanni says, almost relieved. “hi.”

“hi hanni.” your coworker must’ve leaked that conversation, hanni thinks. “nice to hear from you.”

“likewise.”

“can i get six dumplings? pork and—”

“---steamed, yes.” you’re smiling as you say it, like an eager little child. “nothing else?”

“no.”

“alright.” you respond, clicking two tabs and ringing up her order. you don’t give her the cost or anything, staring at the screen and deciding to huff out, “forensics?” you’re starting a real conversion now, what a step.

hanni is smiling hard, she’s so giddy that she’s twirling a piece of hair around her pointer finger. 

“yeah, i think it’s nice.”

“cute.” you mumble, “i’m studying kinesiology.”

“is that so?”

“unfortunately.” you say lightheartedly. hanni doesn’t know what to respond with, she wants to continue the conversation and hear your voice longer, but there’s nothing she can think of. does she ask for your number? how you are? hanni is useless, she’s always been useless when it came to girls.

“hanni?”

“y-yes?” hanni cringes at the slight stutter.

“your total is five dollars. it’ll be there soon.”

“oh,” hanni says sadly, “i mean, um. okay.”

and then she hangs up, a little defeated, but there’s always a next time…right?

when her food gets there, she hurriedly pays the delivery driver, making her wallet cry even more. there’s a note in the bag, along with two fortune cookies. the note has your name and a number on it, making hanni gasp and smile to herself again. there’s a little ‘text me, miss hanni. i’m looking forward to it.’ and as soon as hanni reads it, she clasps her hands together, squeals quietly into them, giggles, and kicks her feet in the air.

hanni tries to do some schoolwork, managing to get ten minutes of reading down, a few sentences jotted down, and then the rest of the time she’s thinking about her new saved contact. she hasn’t texted you yet, mainly because she had been overthinking about what and when to text you. she contemplates texting danielle and minji about it, but she’d just be teased. 

this is the first time in a while since hanni’s gotten anywhere close to something romantic, or maybe this is platonic, but the flirting doesn’t support that idea. she’s tried tinder—once, once and never again—and going to parties. nothing works out, none of them make her giddy and giggly like this. 

before she knows it, two hours have passed, and so she decides to send a simple “hi, this is hanni!’ 

too enthusiastic? too bland? too basic? ugh. hanni groans, lying on her couch in an uncomfortable position.

you reply almost immediately with ‘hey, i’m off in twenty minutes. let’s call?’ and hanni has to put the phone to her chest, looking up at the ceiling in disbelief.

twenty minutes passes by too quickly, hanni hasn’t even figured out what to say. she looks at her phone, waiting for you to call, and when you do, she short circuits; hanni drops her phone on her face.

“hello?” it’s you.

it’s you.

“hey. um, how was work?”

“aw, even asking me about work.” she can hear the smirk in your tone, rolling her eyes as she smiles to herself. “it was fine, my favorite part was when this girl ordered pork dumplings though. she has a cute voice.”

“is that so?”

“yeah. hey, can i ask you something?”

“what is it?”

“i work tomorrow, but its the morning shift. i end at one, i was you know… wondering if you… wanted…” you sound nervous, this is a first for hanni. “if you wanted to share some dumplings, free of charge.”

hanni covers her mouth almost immediately, suppressing any signs of her freaking out.

“are you asking me out?”

“only if you say yes.”

you hear a giggle before you hear a “yes.”

“really?”

“mhm.” hanni smiles again, thinking of something that’ll leave you just as flustered. “okay, well… i’ll see your tomorrow. bye, love you.”

“love you too hanni.”

—

minji’s usually the one who picks up orders if it’s not delivery, and hanni is almost always taking the orders. so when hanni enters the shop for the first time, she’s quite fond of the smell of ingredients being stir fried or steamed, as well as the interior of the place. it’s very nice inside, hopefully the nice person she’s been meaning to see shows up soon.

there’s a girl by the counter, she’s only slightly taller than hanni, and her eyes are oddly cat-like. she looks up at her with those eyes, then shoots a small smile.

“hi, how can i help?” this is who the monotone voice belongs to. her image somehow matches perfectly with the voice.

“hi, i’m hanni.” as soon as she introduces herself, the workers eyes widen.

“woah, you’re real.”

“surprising, i know.”

“y/n is changing in the back—she was eager to get off fives minutes early so she wouldn’t be in uniform when you showed up.” haerin explains, shaking her head. “it’s nice to meet you, you’re very pretty.”

“thank you! i appreciate it. you’re pretty as well.”

haerin doesn’t get to respond. the person who does respond is the girl walking up to the register, scooting haerin to the side with her knuckles and tapping at the screen. the girl isn’t in uniform, and she’s also really good looking. 

you run a hand through your hair as you clock out through the system. “hey, did hanni ever stop by?” you ask haerin, not looking up from the screen because you’ve typed your code in wrong. 

“look up idiot.” your coworker snickers, and when you do, you’re met with the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen.

you notice her right away, hair flowing down past her chest, curtain bangs perfectly framing her face. her plump lips and striking features make you pause. sure, you expected her to be pretty—maybe even conventionally attractive, everyone is in their own way—but seeing her in person? she’s beyond that, practically model material. my god. your lips part slightly in surprise, and you catch yourself, quickly swallowing as you both smile at each other at the same time.

you clock out—thankfully not typing in the wrong code again from nervousness—and step out from behind the counter. a small tote bag hangs from your shoulder, and a plastic bag dangles in your hand. you glance down at it.

“twelve dumplings—steamed, pork, everything you like—for the pair.”

hanni’s smile lights up her face, and you can't help but think about how adorable she looks, how effortlessly charming she is.

“why thank you,” she says, her voice soft and playful. it sounds better in person than through the phone.

“you’re gorgeous, by the way,” you blurt out before you can stop yourself, still marveling at her. “like, i expected you to be pretty, but… wow.” you can tell haerin is fake gagging or rolling her eyes or something like that from behind, she’s probably already on her way to avoid witnessing this interaction.

hanni blushes instantly, the red creeping up her cheeks. if she were at home, she’d probably be giggling and kicking her feet, but for now, she just looks away shyly, smiling. “thanks, you’re really cute too.”

“you think?”

“yes.” she meets your eyes, still flushed. “can we eat? i’m hungry.”

“right, yeah. i hope it’s not too forward, but is the park nearby good? we can settle down and, um… talk more. you know, more than just about your usual order.”

hanni laughs—you might die right then and there—before responding, “that’s perfect,” and then she nods, looking at you. her eyes are soft and warm and wonderful.

“great,” you echo.

“great,” she repeats, a small laugh escaping her.

you both walk side by side, still a little stiff at first, the mutual attraction between you creating an unspoken tension. but as you settle into the rhythm of conversation, the initial awkwardness fades away, replaced by the easy flow of natural chemistry. each step feels lighter, the distance between you shrinking with every passing word.

—

—

—

hanni hears a knock at her door, confused because she hadn’t expected any guests other than minji and danielle—who are already in her living room leeching off her netflix account. 

she opens it to see you, which immediately brings a smile to her face. she almost leaps over to hug you, nearly making you drop the large bag in your hand.

“someone missed me.”

“shut up.” hanni says before pecking your lips. she looks at you, your dorky, adorable face, and then presses another longer kiss. “come in babe. i didn’t expect you to be here.”

“i got off early because i had to cover. i wanted to surprise you, and i know you had company over.”

“oh yeah,” hanni had almost forgotten that her best friends had been there.

she leads you over, helping you take off your tote and setting it on her counter. her friends catch the two of you from their peripheral and wave, then their eyes light up at the sight of the familiar bag in your hand. you set it down, placing a the container of fried rice, lo mein, and dumpling down as they treat you like a savior.

“thank you so much, i owe you my first born.” danielle says, giving you a playful pout.

minji snickers, scooting up to the coffee table. “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us—to hanni.”

you look over to your girlfriend, that’s right, she’s your girlfriend. hanni is rolling her eyes at you, pushing your shoulder, and then pulling you in by the wrist to sit next to her. she’s not one for pda—especially in front of danielle and minji—but under the table her fingers graze your skin, which makes you smile.

you grab a secret container from behind your back, handing it to hanni. when she opens it, she opens her mouth, shocked and grateful for the six steamed pork dumplings that you brought just for her.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Proposing and Wedding Headcannons | Hashira

(A/N- This is the Hashira when they propose to you and what their wedding would be like. Also this is GN! Reader)

(Characters Included- Uzui, Shinobu, Mitsuri, Rengoku, and Tomioka)

(Warning: Nothing, just fluff)

🔊Tengen Uzui🔊

- Uzui would talk to Hina, Makio, and Suma about it first to see what they think. Of course they were thrilled and asked when he was planning to ask the big question.

- He would take you four to a firework show and will propose to you during the flashiest part of the show. Like while he asks you to marry him, there is booming music and bright fireworks in the background.

- When you said yes, Suma was bawling, Makio was a bit annoyed at Suma’s loud crying but kept to herself to not ruin the moment, and Hina was tearing up a little bit at the happiness.

- After you guys planned the wedding, Uzui would visit Rengoku’s place and inform him of the news. He’ll then ask him to be his best man, which Rengoku happily accepted.

- The wedding will be hella flashy and everything will be all organized thanks to Hina.

- You already know that there will be music and tons of food. They do it big because it’s not every day that you’ll have a wedding.

- Suma, Makio, and Hina will insist on making the food since they are so good at cooking and efficient at it too.

You all will have the time of your lives, not worrying about a single thing.

🦋Kocho Shinobu🦋

- Shinobu would be confident that you will say yes but deep down she is a little nervous. In the morning, she will go to the shrine of her sister and tell her what she has planned and that she wishes that she could be there. Little does Shinobu know, her sister’s spirit is smiling down at her for finding happiness and a person that she can love.

- The both of you will be on the rooftop of the butterfly estate, looking at the moon and pointing out the different types of stars, feeling the cool breeze on your skin, soaking in this peaceful moment. She will take your hand and say a few romantic lines and would propose to you then and there, revealing a beautiful ring.

- For the wedding, she would let you decide where it’s at and she’ll make it happen. Though if you can’t make the decision and let her pick, she’ll pick a peaceful place. Somewhere that has a serene atmosphere.

- Only close friends and family would be invited, she wouldn’t want a lot of people there.

- Instead of that usual fake smile she would have on, it’ll be replaced by a real genuine smile, something that isn’t so common. She’ll be genuinely smiling for days, and that’s all thanks to you coming into her life.

🍡Kanroji Mitsuri🍡

- She will have the whole day planned out. Waking you up with breakfast and bed for the both of you, walking around talking and getting some small things from the shops nearby, going to a really good restaurant.

- Finally after the both of you ate dinner, you two will go back home talking about how much fun y’all had. Though she will be evidently nervous about what’s to come. You both will sit on the porch outside of her estate, watching the beautiful sunset until Mitsuri grabs your attention by getting all mushy about how much she loves you and blurts out the big question.

- Her face is redder than a strawberry out of utter embarrassment until you cup her cheeks to snap her out of it and say yes. Then happiness consumed her and tackled you into a big hug, making the both of you fall.

- She would ask her parents where they got married and would want to get married there if you’re okay with it.

- Of course she’ll invite all of her friends and family to the wedding, and yours too if you have any.

- When Obanai first heard the news he’ll go to you and tell (threaten) you that you better take care of her or else. You promise him that she’s in good hands with you and he nods his head. That promise you made him made Obanai approve of you.

- When the day comes and she’s saying her vows and you’re saying yours, she’ll be holding back happy tears. Her life couldn’t be any better.

🔥Kyojuro Rengoku🔥

- He will be excited and optimistic about the proposal he has in mind. A day in advance he’ll practice what he will say right before proposing.

- Rengoku would take you on a date and take you to a town that has a lot of street food. You both will try a lot of things, enjoying each other’s company. After you two had the time of your lives, he’ll walk you to his estate and that’s when he feels like the time is right. So while you’re walking he’ll start saying the lines that he practiced over and over. Then he’ll stop in his tracks, get on one knee, and call your first and last name. When you turn around that’s when he’ll say the big question with a huge smile plastered on his face. The smile will only get wider when you say yes.

- He will let you choose where to have the wedding, he’s happy with whatever.

- He’ll invite his father and little brother, and all the Hashira. Tengen is his best man of course. Rengoku hopes that his father won’t miss out on this once in a lifetime event and will be there for him, but no matter what he won’t let anything ruin the special day.

- The day of the wedding when he’s getting ready, Tengen will be hyping him up and telling him that today will be the best day of his life. Rengoku believes every single one of those words too.

🌊Giyuu Tomioka🌊

- When Giyuu realizes that he wants to take the next step in your relationship, he’ll hesitate. Don’t get him wrong, he really wants to marry you and be able to call you his spouse but he’s scared of getting too close to you. He’s afraid that you’ll just end up leaving so he stops himself from having those thoughts about marriage.

- That was until one day when Tanjiro was visiting him, he could smell that Giyuu was hiding something and that something was bothering him. When he asked him about it he just brushed him off, but Tanjiro could tell that this was something really burdening him so he asked and asked until eventually Giyuu told him. Tanjiro gave some words of encouragement and that got Giyuu thinking. So he thanked Tanjiro and went off to buy a ring for you, hoping that it’ll fit you.

- He would much rather be in the comfort of his own home and propose to you rather than in public. Giyuu will invite you over and hang out. Talking and chilling with each other. He softly smiles whenever you make a joke or will just be talking about whatever. You even pointed out that he was smiling more.

- When you were laying in bed together he was getting a tad bit awkward. He wanted to pop the question now but he didn’t know if he should just say it or what. So when you noticed a shift in his behavior and asked him, he just flat out asked you to marry him.

- He would invite Tanjiro, Urokodaki, some of the Hashira, and that’s it. Of course you can invite whoever you want, he doesn’t mind at all.

- On the day of the wedding, he’ll be really tense out of nervousness but the happiness he feels outweighs it. He will be smiling almost all day.

Masterlist

[mochinomnoms]

Ok si for the small snippet requests- ptm jadeyuu, but it's at the point where yuu starts getting a little downbad and just starts playing into jades lil scenarios more and he freaks out cause his day is going SO MUCH BETTER now. Thank you!

🦩

Having a crush when you're a mind reader can have its cons...but also some pros~

Also I wrote this while listening to Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey, I very recommend listening while reading for the vibe

You blew hot air against your hands, rubbing them as you watched the snow fall outside the window.

Winter had come early this year and your dorm members had taken to playing in the snow. Everyone was enjoying themselves, even Aspen was smiling, though yelping as he was smacked in the face by a snowball.

You laughed as he chased after Tony, tackling him into the ground as they both cackled with a red flush over their cheeks.

Ramshackle had very little traffic, even with the students in your care, which left it rather pristine and ideal for making snowmen and fights. Plenty of students from the other dorms were hanging around between classes, some even in your kitchen making warm drinks and snacks.

Which is why you weren't surprised when a mug of hot chocolate appeared in your peripheral vision. Looking up, you softly smiled and gave a small 'thank you' as you took the mug from Jade, who took a spot next to you, leaning against the porch railing to watch the small group of students playing in the snow.

He was in the winter version of the school uniform, which just came with a thicker jacket, a scarf, boots, and snow gloves. Though, you're positive that Aspen mentioned that none of them needed it, as they were well acquainted with the cold. It was mostly to keep up appearances, Floyd being the exception as he forwent the gloves and jacket.

My pretty pearl, you look radiant against the snowfall. I feel like I'm falling for you all over again…

Your cheeks warmed, despite the biting cold, and you masked your smile behind your mug as Jade stared at you from the corner of his eyes. When you dared to look at him, his gazed immediately darted back to the others. He had a red flush over his cheeks, which could be due to the cold, but you knew better.

Both of you chuckled as Silas, holding a giant snowball over their head, jumped and slammed the snow on top of Yaqub's head with a shit eating grin.

“They seem to be having fun. I know Floyd is coming over to have a snowball fight with Tony in a bit, will you be joining?”

You shook your head, watching the marshmallows swirl in your mug.

“Nah, I'm probably gonna head in here in a few. My hands are freezing, and I don't have gloves anyways.” You sighed, drinking your hot chocolate and relishing in the warmth flowing to your belly.

Jade tilted his head, watching as you lifted one of your hands to blow on it again.

“Would you like some help warming up?” You weren't surprised at the flash of an image of Jade and you 'warming up' in front of the lounge fireplace under a lush blanket. “I'm happy to assist.”

You know what response he was waiting for. You know that he'd come to expect your flustered and panicked stammering, putting as much space between you two as possible. It's a very 'you' response.

I can do this, I can give the same energy! Yeah! No more playing around with me, Jade! It's my turn!

“Hmm? And just how do you plan to 'warm me up' Jade~” You cooed, batting your eyelashes and smiling up at him.

You're surprised just how…sultry that came out. I didn't think I could sound like…like…something out of Jade's daydreams! Jade seemed surprised as well, snapping his head to stare at you.

His face still had his same polite smile, though you swear his cheeks turned a bit more red.

“…Pardon? Could you repeat that?” Jade asked, though there was a bit of breathlessness to his voice.

Did you…no I must have imagined…

“Well, there's lots of ways to warm someone up,” You shrugged, looking down at your drink and tracing the edge of the mug. “You caaaan…start a fire…get me a blanket…skin to skin contact…”

Haaaah, is this real?

“Human lovers will cuddle with each other, and do more...intimate things together to warm up.” You finally turned to face him, watching him visibly swallow.

Now I'm just being mean.

“Is…that so? That's good to know.” Jade's voice sounded strained, though his face betrayed very little. If it wasn't for the screaming echoing through his mind, you wouldn't be able to tell this was effecting him.

“Mmh, so, Jade~” You slowly crept closer to him, your still free hand doing the same along the rail to inch closer to his fingertips.

“How do you plan to warm me up, Jade?”

You had to crane your head to look up, causing a creak in the back of your neck, as there was barely an inch of space between you two. Frankly, though, it was worth it to see the wide-eyed surprise on his face.

It's real! Bless the Seven! It'srealIt'srealIt'srealIt'srealIt'sreal—

“Well, I—”

“Can watch everyone while I warm up in the kitchen!” You chirped, quickly backing away and smiling. “I'm sure it's plenty warm in there with the others running the oven!”

W-what?

Hmph, that's what he gets. You started walking away towards the front door, a smug smile on your face. Just a taste of what he puts me through every day—

You swallowed a shriek as Jade caged you against the wall with his arms, dropping your mug in surprise. You could hear it clatter against the wood floor and the hot drink fizzle against the cold surface.

Curling in on yourself, you looked up at Jade, who was giving you a smile and narrowed glare, his sharp teeth visible. He had a glint in his eyes and his flush was growing down to his neck.

“Now, now my dear,” he leaned down, speaking softly as he hovered his face closer and closer to yours, until you pressed your hands against his chest, stopping him.

“It's not nice to be a tease, stunts like that would get you eaten up in the sea.” Jade's nose brushed against yours, his smile growing as you grew more flustered.

“Unless, you're trying to be a tease~” Jade's right hand moved to graze your cheek with his finger.

This is going too far, I should…

Your skin felt tingly as he ghosted down to your chin, tracing the tip of his thumb against your bottom lip.

“Talking about lovers, acting coy.”

…I should make him…stop…

He pulled it down, ever so slightly, making you release a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Cute…

“You shouldn't play around with things like that.”

“I'm…not…” you let out a whimper as his breath mixed with yours, lips hovering over your own. You could hear his breath hitch at the sound.

“No? Then prove it, unless you want me to 'warm you up' in front of everyone?”

Swallowing another whimper and feeling your cheeks and body warm from something other than your drink, you licked your lips. You felt him shudder as your lips just barely brush, moving to press them together—

“Ooooh, how scandalous!”

You shrieked, out loud this time, shoving Jade away as you accidentally smack his face to get some space between you two.

“Ack!” Jade covered his face with his hands, wrinkling his nose from the sudden pain.

You stared in a mix of embarrassment and bewilderment at the small group watching you two at the railing.

Silas was grinning, fulling leaning his body over the railing as he kicked his legs behind him like a child. Yaqub and Tony looked just as amused, the former hiding his giggling behind his hand. Aspen, to no one's surprised, had a sour look on his face, disappointed even, while Wynfred was pouting. Marion had the decently to look embarrassed that he was caught staring, looking down at his feet like they were the most interesting things he'd seen all day. James, sweet James, just looked confused.

“…I didn't know you two were dating?”

“We're not!” You waved your hands in a panic, laughing nervously as you stepped away from Jade, who was now glaring at the group with an annoyed frown.

“Then, why were you two kissing—” James jumped, as did the rest of the group as you screeched.

“HE WAS JUST BLOWING HOT AIR ON MY HANDS, THAT'S IT! NOTHING ELSE!”

You laughed manically as you clapped your hands, inching closer to the door.

“You know I'm still cold! Are you guys cold? Yeah, you are!” You continued nervously laughing as you turned and practically bolted to the front door, the snow on the ledges falling from the sheer force of your slam.

The group and Jade stared at where you disappeared, so quiet that you could hear a pin drop in the snow.

“…So you two were, like, totally making out, right?” Silas asked, letting out an 'oof' as Marion smack that back of their head, making them fall face-first into the wooden patio.

Jade gave his signature smile, bowing his head.

“Perhaps you all should go back to playing, I should check on the poor Prefect, though might I advise not interrupting a pair's private conversation next time?”

Yaqub scoffed, elbowing Tony as he teased, “Conversation, sure. Maybe next time you two should have your next 'conversation' in the bedroom?”

The two snorted, Tony choking into a cough at Aspen's glare.

“Thank you for the kind suggestion, I'll be sure to consider it.” Jade called out as he entered the dorm, determined to continue from where you two left off.

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: happy happy birthday to @youunravelme 🥳 thanks for being such a good friend and matching my crazy when we discuss how mat and squeaks are horny little freaks for each other 😂 had to write this fun little fic after our convos the past few days! hope you have the best birthday!

word count: 1k

tw: some innuendo, implied oral (f receiving)

summary: roping mat into another tik tok trend ends pretty much not how you expected it to go, but you’re not complaining

Mat’s sitting on the couch, watching ESPN game highlights when you walk into the room, phone in hand. He looks up at you and smiles lazily, exhausted after returning from a West Coast swing the night before and an early morning practice. He pats the couch cushion, “come join me.”

You smile at him, but don’t respond, instead turning back to your phone.

“Hey,” you speak into the camera, video recording already started, “can you guys watch my boyfriend for me while I do something really quick?”

You settle your phone on the coffee table, propped up against a few of the decorative books that Mat had fought you on buying but ends up reading when he’s bored and wander back out of the room. You stay within earshot though and manage to hide behind the wall so you can see him.

Mat looks between the phone on the table and the doorway where you disappeared a few times, frowning for a minute. His eyebrows are drawn together over his nose and you cover your mouth to muffle a little giggle. The Tik Tok trend is stupid but you’re curious to see what Mat does.

After a few seconds of confused staring, Mat starts speaking into the camera.

“Kitchen floor, couch, pool,” he starts ticking locations off on his fingers, a slow smile forming on his face. “Backseat of the car, front seat of the car, Bo’s bathroom, Leesy’s bathroom, our bathroom, golf cart. Um, where else?”

Now it’s your turn to frown, confused. What the hell is he making a list of?

“My childhood bedroom, Squeaks’ childhood bedroom,” he continues and your eyes widen a little, realizing what he’s doing. “Squeaks’ office -“

You dart back into the living room, cutting him off and saying, “oh my god, what are you listing off?”

His grin is wicked and he looks directly at the camera when he says, “all the places I’ve fucked you.”

“Aghhhh!” You squeal and tackle him onto the couch, his laughter vibrating through your chest. “Stop that!”

You dart your foot out to kick your phone off the coffee table, knowing it won’t stop the recording and hoping the clatter doesn’t mean you broke the screen. “Why are you like this?” You whine, trapped in the embrace of his arms. “That was supposed to be a wholesome video!”

Mat can’t stop laughing and it’s contagious, making you giggle a little even though you’re trying to stop. “Baby,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head, “nothing about us is wholesome. I could’ve kept going on that list for another ten minutes.”

“I hate you,” you grumble.

“No you don’t,” you can hear the grin in his voice and feel the twitch of his cock under your stomach.

“Yes I do,” you pout, warmth spreading through your body as Mat crushes you tighter against his chest.

“How about we go upstairs and I’ll prove that you don’t hate me?”

You know exactly what he’s getting at. “Why go that far?” You ask, shifting your body up and rolling your hips over his lap. The hard press of his erection makes your mouth go dry. “The couch can handle a little action.”

The couch can handle a lot of action, if your history is any indication.

Mat’s clearly thinking along the same lines because he laughs and says, “the couch has seen enough. The window seat in our room though? Haven’t eaten you out while you’re sitting pretty up there yet.”

“Oh!” You squeak, barely registering Mat sitting up with you in his lap, your legs locking around his waist when he stands up. The prominent ridge of his cock settles under your ass and your cunt instinctively tries to clench around nothing, the spread of your legs around his waist leaving you wide open for your arousal to drip out of you. He steps over your phone on the ground and heads for the stairs. “Mat, my phone…” you trail off, arms hooked around his neck. You can see it’s still recording the ceiling and has definitely captured your entire conversation. That video absolutely has to be deleted.

“We can record ourselves on mine,” he replies and your breath hiccups in your chest. “I need something new to watch when I’m away.”

“Perv,” you giggle, arousal flooding between your legs.

Mat pinches your ass, making you jolt in his arms. “Says the woman who slipped a couple of Polaroids into my carry-on. Thanks for that, by the way. Dobber’s traumatized again.”

“Oh my god,” you drop your forehead to Mat’s shoulder. After the condom under the coffee table incident, you’re surprised Noah even speaks to you at all.

“He only saw a little flash of boob,” Mat reassures you. “But he definitely got the gist.”

“I’m never doing that again,” you mutter.

Mat whines in the back of his throat. “Don’t punish me because he can’t keep his eyes on his screen,” he complains, setting you down on the cushioned window seat and dropping to his knees in front of you. His hands are warm on your knees when he pulls them apart, pressing a quick kiss to the inside of your right knee before gliding his fingers up your inner thighs.

Your legs tremble and your breathing hitches.

“No more pictures in the carry-on,” you repeat, Mat’s fingers dipping under the hem of your shorts.

“What if I give you a few pictures to put in your purse,” Mat says, “for your next work trip?”

His fingers trace against the crease of your thigh and you drop your head back, hitting it against the window pane with a dull thunk. “Mmm,” you hum, “maybe I could be con-convinced to change my stance.” Your voice shakes and Mat’s fingers dip under the elastic of your panties, his smile growing hungry when he feels how wet you are.

Mat shifts forward, closer to you, his shoulders spreading your legs even further apart, and smirks up at you. “Let me try and convince you then,” he laughs quietly and tugs at your shorts.

The window seat is christened twice and you both get new photos for your next out of town trips.

[yubishi]

death valley (alpha iwaizumi x omega reader)

my piece for @goxjo's into the omegaverse collab! thanks for having me and it was a lot of fun to come back to writing after being away for so longgg (rip yubishie)!!!!

tw. a/b/o, mm maybe a little codependent, yandere-lite as i like to call my particular brand, dubcon

It’s times like this that you really, really hate being an omega. To be fully honest, you’d never really minded it before everything went down. Yes, a lot of being an omega was definitely inconvenient and awkward. Though you’d been on blockers pretty much all your life since showing, with how rare omegas were, even (assumed) betas weren’t spared from the harassment of alphas and even fellow betas. God, you missed your blockers. Not that you had the Internet to check against anymore, but you were pretty sure the omega scent too had some kind of effect on the zombies. If anybody asked you (not that you had met anyone so far), the scent probably was a big fat arrow for zombies in the same way it was for alphas. Easy prey, the evolutionarily perfect meal, body composed in just the right way to be a delicacy, unlike alphas who might be too much muscle to be enjoyed. You weren’t too sure how picky zombies were though, to be honest.

Back to what you were thinking. Yes, despite the trials of being an omega, the lovely side effects of blockers that made you take quite a few sick days, you really didn’t mind. It was just a fact of life, like how the earth revolved around the sun or how the grass was green. There was never much point in lamenting the biology of who you were.

Still, this was kind of pushing it. You’d run out of blockers a few weeks ago, and you weren’t sure if you were going crazy but by your estimates the number of zombies you’d seen from your window had only increased in this time. You’d searched the flats in your small building for blockers, but even before everything went down you hadn’t heard about any omegas staying in your building. You knew there was a pharmacy nearby, and it’d be your best bet. The worst part would be getting there undetected.

Which would bring you to where you were now, lamenting your life. Also, sprinting for your life. Though you’d tried to cover up as much skin as you could, it wasn’t your scent that gave you away. No, it had been a random zombie standing behind a corner as you rounded it. You should’ve given it more berth, you think.

If you were an alpha, you maybe could have lifted the wooden plank nearby to whack the zombie in the head before he’d emitted a series of clicks, alerting his fellow comrades to your presence. Easy prey easy prey easy prey, you’d imagine is what they’re telling each other.

At least you make it into the pharmacy, sprinting inside and sliding a nearby umbrella through the handle. As you turn around, your heart sinks. The pharmacy has basically been raided through, the shelves basically empty. The storeroom, your brain helpfully supplies. Please, let there be some in the storeroom.

The storeroom door is unlocked when you get there. It’s clearly still been somewhat ransacked, but not as much as the outside. Thump. You freeze at the noise from above. A few moments pass. Nothing. Probably just the wind, you try to reassure yourself. Maybe something fell over. Still, you move around the storeroom a little faster.

You’re still searching through the room when you hear the creak of the door. Time seems to slow as you turn around, and before you know it, there’s a man tackling you to the ground before you can let out a peep.

“Don’t yell.” The man grunts. His large hand lays flat against your mouth, while the other rests at the back of your head. You feel like you can barely catch your breath, the weight of this man pressing down on your body. Even still, you try to wrench his hands off you, and just as you're about to bite the palm of his hand, he lifts his head to look at you. “Look, just don’t yell. I’ll take my hand off, if you can promise me you’re not going to start yelling like an idiot.” He looks to you for confirmation. 

When he finally does take it off, it takes you a second to compose yourself. Gunmetal eyes sear into yours and you falter, darting your gaze away quickly. Lord, he can't stand the look of you either. It’d only meant to be a quick run to scout out the area, before he’d spotted you running for your life. He’d thought about leaving you, and really, better sense did tell him to. In fact, in the time he took to scale the pharmacy roof and make his way down to where he heard you rifling around, he’d been cursing himself in his head.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but damn was he lonely these days. With his athleticism and build, he wasn’t as afraid as some might be to head out and explore. He’d come across a few stragglers, primarily alphas like him, but the problem with a majority of alphas was their ego. It didn’t take them long to piss him off, and he wasn’t stupid enough to ignore his own nature. If he thought someone was stupid, he wasn’t afraid to say it, and Iwaizumi always stuck to his guns. As a result, he’d been riding solo throughout.

Though his first glimpse of you was from afar, you didn’t have the build of an alpha. Alphas usually didn’t spend their time sprinting with only a tiny weapon in their hands either. Still, an omega was beyond his expectations. Tackling you to the floor had bared your neck to him, your light and fresh scent wafting over him. Damn it. He could barely stop himself from burying his nose in your neck. He’d barely even met an omega even before this, let alone be skin to skin with one.

Your scent is only the first thing to hit him. With it comes the realization of all your omega-ness, to put it delicately. Your hip bones digging into his abdomen, the plush of your chest against his, your watery eyes as you stare up at him, your plump lips curled into a pout. He barely even registers when you call his name.

“Iwai.. Iwaizumi, right?” The man above you has been doing nothing but staring silently at you for a few moments, his leg sandwiched between your two. It took you a minute to place him, but you swore something about the cut of his jaw and his sharp eyes was familiar to you. Of course, it’d been from before all this, when Iwaizumi and his friends were basically kings of the school and you’d been a normal student.

“We… we went to school together?” You give him your name, in hopes of some kind of recognition from him. Maybe that little emotional connection would stop him from killing you where you lay right now.

He looks at you, trying to place you. He thinks he’s probably heard your name around in some who-knows-who talk or at a party of sorts, but he doesn’t think he’s ever properly met you. And now he has to lift himself off you, to stop himself from doing something really, really bad to an acquaintance. Your scent has calmed since you'd recognized him, evening itself out from its previous panicked intensity. 

Though some part of you still fears him killing you right now, you can't help yourself from letting out a smile, the corners of your mouth pulling wide. It's not long before a giggle bursts from you at the absurdity of it all. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just so, so good to see a familiar face right now.” You smile up at him, all teeth, and he thinks he might lose it. 

Brusquely, he gets up, stretching out a hand to help you up. He tries to ignore the feeling of your hand in his, dwarfed within his grasp. 

“What're you doing out here,” he questions, though it sounds more like a reprimand than anything. “S’not safe for people like you.”

You explain to him how you've run out of blockers, how you're staying nearby, how you've never been without blockers before. It's been so long since you've talked to another person that it seems your mouth can't stop moving. 

“But anyways, I haven't found them yet. I've been working my way up, I think there are just a few boxes on the top shelves that maybe haven't been ransacked yet.” You motion over at the ladder across the room. “It's a little tough for me to get up there. Ladder’s a little too short I think.”

He can see the hope in your eyes, so like the gentleman he is (or at least the one he wants you to think he is) he offers to help you take a look. He goes through the motions, checking through the shelves and boxes as you hold on to the ladder and prattle on. 

It isn't long before Iwaizumi is climbing back down. He's silent as he looks at you and opens his palm to you. In the middle lies a small pillbox, with seven blockers lying inside. Just enough for a week. 

You feel the tears coming up. All that work for a week’s worth of blockers. Still, you try to hold it together in front of Iwaizumi, opening the box and popping one in your mouth. Your eyes are watery as you look up at him with a shaky smile. 

“D’you wanna come back to my place and regroup?”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Somehow an unspoken agreement has formed between you and Iwaizumi over the past seven days. You'd spent the first day showing Iwaizumi around your small apartment, showing him your food reserves, your little medical kit and your small collection of emergency weapons. 

The thought had occurred to you that it was probably risky to show all this to a stranger. But Iwaizumi wasn't really a stranger. The two of you had spent the night talking (well mostly you), and when you woke in the morning, you'd half-expected him to have run off with your things. He'd only met your questioning stare in the morning with a raised brow, and no words were exchanged about the blanket over you that you didn't remember being there the night before. 

If you were being honest, it was easy to settle into the rhythm of being with Iwaizumi (or Iwa, as you called him in your head but didn't dare to say out loud quite yet). Iwa seemed somewhat like the alpha of alphas, his height and musculature only adding to what was already there. It felt natural, even, to let Iwa take charge. You'd both gone to scout the surrounding area, gradually expanding the radius under Iwa's planning, as you'd made your concerns about your blockers running out clear.

Still, there were no extras added to the collection since the first day. It's hours after the effects wane off that you lie on the floor, silent. Somehow, since the first day, there was an unspoken agreement that the both of you would sleep on the floor. The first night purely by accident, but the following out of comfort. You'd tried to sleep in your own bed, really, but it'd been so long since you were near another person, so something compelled you to go outside and lie near Iwa. Not close enough to make him uncomfortable, of course. 

“I don't know where else to look.” You sigh, racking your brains for a mental map of your area. A beat passes before Iwa speaks. “There might be another way.”

Your eyes blink open, and Iwa stands over you, hand outstretched. You let him lift you up so the two of you stand eye to eye. Well, eye to chest with the height difference. 

His calloused hand comes up to thumb the crook of your neck, with a gentleness you didn't know he was capable of. 

“I could… I could bite you. Make you smell a little more like me.” He raises a brow at you, trying to gauge what you think.

“Um… Um…” You stumble over your words, clearly shocked and hesitant. Still, he can see you're not averse to the idea. All you need, he thinks, is just a little more of a push. 

“Do you trust me?” He grips your shoulders, tightly at first, then lets go a little when he remembers how delicate you are. Now that you're off your blockers again, the stress is evident in your scent, swirling around the room. He lets his scent flood out too, to dampen your anxiety with his calm. 

Your shoulders relax a little as you look up at him. To be bitten… To be mated… You weren't really sure what to think. Mating was a one-and-done, especially for omegas. Was Iwa even thinking about it the way you were? To you, he felt a little like a stone wall of emotion. It was difficult to tell what he felt a lot of the time, other than frustration. It seemed more likely that he was doing it purely for your safety. And for alphas, you were pretty sure you could do a lot worse than Iwa. 

Sure, Iwa was brusque, and what some might call harsh, but he was handsome and strong and he'd helped you out so far. You'd been trying to ignore your hormones and prioritize the situation at hand, but that was simply the fact of the matter. And did you trust him? If you had to say, it would be yes. A tentative yes, but still a yes. 

“Yeah, okay, yeah.” You breathe out, trying to calm yourself down. Just think about it as something friends do. Desperate times do call for desperate measures, after all. 

“I'll take care of you.” is all Iwa says, gruff as ever. He says it like it's a fact of life before he leans in, nose grazing the crook of your neck. 

All you hear are the sounds of both of your breaths as Iwa brushes his lips over your scent gland. You're holding your breath like a statue when you feel something wet, Iwa’s tongue licking a stripe over your collar. 

And then it's all teeth and canines as he bites into you. You jerk in his hands from shock, but his firm grasp keeps you where you stand. 

The shock of it all feels like the air has been knocked out of you, and it hurts, the teeth piercing into you. And he's still biting you, still, when the pain fades into something warm, something that rises up and floats down and makes you flush. 

“Iwa!” You squeak out, hands around his neck. He's still at your neck for a few more seconds before pulling away to look at your flushed face, a woozy look in your eyes. 

He can't stop himself from going at your lips, lifting your chin towards him. All he sees is the water in your eyes, all he smells is your delicious scent wafting around, all he hears is your little squeaks and sighs and the soft noises of his mouth against yours. Hell, all he feels is your body melting into his, like pure jelly held up by his arms. You're everywhere and everything, and he can't get enough. 

The last thing on his mind are the boxes of white blocker pills, tucked away in the top shelf of the pharmacy. 

[spiceofvy]

hey how about skz reacting to reader being very quiet in bed? Haven't really seen anyone tackle that concept around here but I think you'd do it justice

SKZ - Reader is not very vocal in bed

a/n: aaah! thank you for the compliment! i feel so honored! this was so much fun to write, so i hope you enjoy it!

cws: gender neutral reader, nsfw, a lot of description of the noises someone can make in bed, lots of mentions of open communication about sex, mentions of past insecurites related to the reader not being vocal, mentions of (semi) public sex (chan, minho), mentions of praise (changbin), implied sub!jisung, shy felix turning confident, slight dom!seungmin, jeongin using porn as sexual education (please don't do this), mentions of being heard during sex (jeongin)

Chan: Today I'm here to tell you that he actually has the opposite issue, he is extremely vocal in bed. Dirty talk, moaning, some whines depending on the day. This man can not shut up to save his life. Don't get me wrong those noises are hot as fuck but please never try to have public sex with him, because you will get caught. So you not being extremely vocal in bed comes with the great advantage of you being able hear all the pretty noises he makes.

Minho: Oh, he doesn't mind at all. He is not that vocal either except for some low grunts and hums. Maybe some dirty words whispered in your ear if he feels like it. And neither of you being super vocal comes with one big advantage. When he invites you over to the company building to fuck you in one of the broom closets, he doesn't have to worry about you being caught due to you being so loud.

Changbin: He doesn't care that much. Not because he doesn't care about you receiving pleasure during sex but because he trusts you when you say that you enjoy what he is doing. And if you don't he always makes sure to give you enough space to comfortably voice your wishes. He will talk you through it though. Lot's of praising and sweet promises. Sometimes some soft whines, but he gets flustered if you mention it.

Hyunjin: Was thrown off by this in the beginning, because he relies heavily on sound in bed. He himself is kinda vocal, some very pretty moans and little compliments here and there. But he quickly got used to it. Learned to read your body language really well and knows what you enjoy from just the way your muscles twitch or your cheeks redden. He will check in on you here and there though just so he can really be sure that you love what's happening just as much as he does.

Jisung: Don't worry he is loud enough on his own for you to get a noise complaint from your neighbors. High-Pitched, whiny moans, swear words galore and sometimes a little bit of begging. A beautiful mix. But in all seriousness, he probably was a bit insecure at the very beginning, not sure how to read your body language, but he got used to it and now he can tell pretty easily what you like and what not.

Felix: He is also pretty loud in bed, but after realizing that you are not he just straight up asks you if that's normal for you, or if there is something that he could improve on. Doesn't mind it that much after he is sure that you enjoy what he does. But will sometimes check in on you just to be sure. Asking you if you like what he does between deep groans and soft moans. Will likely bury his head in your neck to hide some of his noises, as get's pretty flustered about them, but with just some gentle encouragement from your side, he slowly but surely gets a little more confident and almost cocky with it.

Seungmin: Oh, he makes sure you get vocal, but not in the way you think. He just asks you a ton of questions "You like this?" "Do you feel good?" "Do you want more?" And he definitely expects an answer. And when he is not asking you questions he is letting out some low grunts and he swears a lot. Overall he doesn't mind you being not that vocal. But just for his ego, he needs some sort of reassurance from you, but knows how to ask for that.

Jeongin: Poor baby Innie, was a bit confused in the beginning. After all, in the "educational videos'' he watched during his alone time, sex was always depicted as something very loud. So you not being vocal probably threw him off a bit. But he gets used to it pretty easily and actually starts appreciating it a bit, because that makes sneaky sex in the dorm so much easier. If he can control his noises though. Even though his super breathy moans and mumbled words are not very loud, they still sometimes get heard and the teasing he has to endure afterwards will scar him for life.

[rheasforum]

BAD CHEM

The studio was a hub of activity, with flashes from the camera and the hum of conversation filling the air. You were in the middle of a high-profile photoshoot for a campaign, and though the day had been long, there was a noticeable buzz of excitement around you.

Jake, dressed in a crisp white jacket, was leaning casually against a wall, quietly observing you. He wasn’t part of the shoot—he was just there to support you, and his presence was a comforting anchor amidst the whirlwind of the day.

During a brief break, you took a moment to address the camera for the behind-the-scenes footage. You flashed a playful smile as you spoke, knowing that Jake was watching from the sidelines.

“So, I made Jake wear this white jacket today because I wanted to see all the edits of him in Bad Chem,” you said with a chuckle. “I know the fans are going to go wild.”

Jake’s eyes sparkled with amusement as he watched you speak. He couldn’t help but giggle softly at your enthusiasm. When the camera panned over to him, he gave a small wave, his smile growing wider.

“You think they’ll actually make edits?” he asked, walking over to where you were standing by the monitor. His tone was light and teasing, but there was a genuine curiosity in his eyes.

“Absolutely,” you replied, scrolling through the photos on the monitor. “They love seeing you, especially when you’re just casually supporting me.”

Jake leaned closer, his arm brushing lightly against yours as he glanced at the screen. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re using me for your own fan service.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Oh, please. I’m just taking advantage of having a cute boyfriend who looks great in a white jacket.”

He raised an eyebrow playfully. “Cute, huh?”

“Definitely,” you said, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. “But seriously, thank you for being here. It means a lot.”

Jake’s expression softened, and he took a step closer, resting his hand gently on your back. “I wouldn’t miss it. I like seeing you do what you love.”

The background music in the studio shifted to a familiar rhythm adding a fun touch to the moment. Jake’s fingers lightly traced the edge of your jacket, and he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear.

“I didn’t expect this song to play,” he said softly. “But it’s kind of perfect.”

You nodded, feeling the song’s beat align with the rhythm of your heartbeat. “Yeah, it really is. Especially with you here.”

Jake’s smile grew, and he gently placed a kiss on the top of your head. “You’re doing amazing, baby.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, savoring the comfort of his touch and the sincerity of his words. When you opened them again, you looked up at him, a soft smile on your lips.

“Thanks, Jake. I really needed that,” you said, your voice filled with appreciation.

He gave you a warm smile, his hand still resting on your back. “Anytime. And I’m looking forward to seeing those fan edits. Maybe they’ll make me look as good as you do.”

You laughed softly, feeling a renewed burst of energy. “Alright, let’s finish up this shoot. I’ll need you to stick around for the final shots.”

Jake nodded, giving you an encouraging squeeze on the waist. “I’m right here, cheering you on.”

With Jake by your side and the rhythm of the song in the background, you felt ready to tackle the rest of the day’s work. His presence was a reminder that even in the busiest moments, you weren’t alone.

[rekino2114]

Hmm, how about Asa mitaka being asked out on a date by one of her male classmates. And she overprepares like she did with Denji, though this time it goes better cause the Reader is an airhead that marches to the beat of his own drum, so he ends up dragging Asa to multiple different places and she ends up having fun.

First date with asa mitaka

Pairing:asa mitaka x male reader

A/n:I decided to do this in a non devil au cause my girl needs a break (sidenote but your relationship in this is literally the definition of black cat/golden retriever love. Just something I noticed)

I didn't realize i wrote this much until I reread it to color it but that should tell you how much I love asa and want her to be happy

Asa is an anxious person in general, especially in social situation and especially when it comes to romance. She never had a boyfriend and never really thought about having one, and she's very clueless to love as a result, so when one of her classmates (who she admittedly had a crush on too) asked her out on a date she freaked out incredibly hard.

Literally, every minor thing became a concern for her. What would she wear? Should she put makeup on? How much? Should she plan the date or leave that to you? Should she try flirting with you? (She quickly dismissed the last idea as she had no idea how to flirt, and it would make things awkward very fast)

She eventually figured out what she was gonna do and went to where she was supposed to meet you, which was a street near school. When she was there and didn't see you, her anxiety kicked in very fast. It felt like everyone was staring at her. Did you stand her up? This was probably all a prank, and she should have never accepted. After all, who would love someone like her? She was ready to go home and cry herself to sleep when a masculine voice interrupted her thoughts

"Asa! You came"

You quickly tackled her into a hug making the black haired girl blush intensely

"Y-Yeah obviously.....to be honest I thought you were gonna stood me up"

"Why would you think that? That's so rude I would never do that let alone to such a pretty girl"

Asa's cheeks basically caught on fire the moment she heard that and her brain struggled to think of a response

"T-thanks y-you look......h-handsome too"

"Aww thanks ok let's go now, we have a full day ahead of us, I promise you'll have a lot of fun"

"O-ok"

As soon asa answered, you held her hand and started dragging her around, which made her blush even more if that was possible

After a while, you two arrived where you wanted to go, which was an arcade.

"An arcade?"

"Yeah, you don't like it? I wanted to play some games with you but if you don't want to we can do something else"

"Oh no it's fine"

"Great let's go then"

You walked inside and started running around and looking at everything until you arrived in front of a cabinet and pointed at it

"Look they have DDR come on let's give it a try"

"Oh no I-I don't know how to dance"

"Neither do i, don't worry, you don't need to know how to dance to play, just step on the plates"

Asa started to think: if she said yes, there was the possibility she was gonna embarrass herself, but if she said no, then you would probably think she was boring and wouldn't like her something which she really didn't want to happen

"A-alright, I'll try"

"Great! I know you can do it"

You two started playing with asa actually having fun, the game was dumb but seeing you get so excited over getting a high score made her want to smile too, you eventually finished playing and continued going around

"*gasp* a claw machine! Do you want a plushie?"

"Oh no thanks, those things are a scam anyway"

You put your coin in before she even finished the sentence

"Come on it's fine, what kind of guy would I be to not get you anything, I'm a pro at this anyway"

"Whatever you say"

You spent.....way too much time and way too much money but eventually managed to get a cute plushie of a cat

"Yay!!! Finally"

As you grabbed it and held it to your date you quickly realized something

"O-oh sorry I never asked which plush you wanted.......do you like cats?"

"Yeah actually I love them"

"Oh thank god"

You gave asa the plushie and she spent a bit staring at it happily before turning to you

"If I may ask, why did you get me this in particular?"

"Well you just seem like a cat person, if that makes sense like your whole vibe screams I like cats"

"........is-is that a compliment?"

"Yeah I love cats, they're really fluffy and adorable"

Asa smiled and hugged the plushie tighter

"I agree, they're really cute"

".....you look cute when you smile"

"H-huh?"

"I mean you look cute in general but your smile is extra cute, it makes me happy to see you happy"

The black haired girl felt her heart flutter once more at your words

"T-thank you"

"Don't mention it, now let's go, the date is not over yet you know"

You two went (you dragged her) to a bunch more places to have fun, which asa actually did, which was a surprise to her because she usually felt more comfortable alone but in this instance she genuinely felt happy to have said yes when you asked her out, your positive attitude made her forget all about the worries she had before, she felt like she could just relax and have fun with you.

Eventually evening came and the date ended so you started walking asa to her home

"Ah that was great I had so much fun"

"Yeah me too........thank you"

"No thank you for accepting, I don't know what I would have done if you said no"

"......you cared this much about me?"

"Of course, you're so pretty and cute and fun to hang out with, I had a crush on you for the longest time, denji was pressuring me to ask you out for a while"

"Wow really? I-i just-it's still kinda hard to believe someone can like me like that"

"Don't say that, you're awesome asa and don't let anyone tell you otherwise not even yourself"

Asa felt like crying a bit, you actually loved her.......she had struggled with actually loving herself, the fact that someone else could say that to her with a smile on their face and with nothing but truth made her smile so brightly

"......thank you, thank you so much"

"It's nothing. Do you wanna take a selfie?"

"Hm?"

"I just wanna get something to remember this day. If we do actually become a thing, I would hate to have nothing of the first date with my amazing girlfriend"

"Y-yes alright"

"Great. Say cheeeeseee!"

You pulled out your phone and did a peace sign to the camera while making sure to get asa in the shot too, you saw her smile like she did earlier and you loved it

"This looks good, great smile, I'll keep it, but tell me if you want me to delete it ok? I'd hate for you to be uncomfortable because of me"

"Oh no it's alright"

"Amazing, oh hey isn't this your house?"

"Yeah it is, thanks for accompanying me"

"It's nothing soooooo.... second date when?"

Asa giggled at how enthusiastic you sounded

"I'll text you when and where"

"Great so we are having a second date"

"Of course, like I said, I had a lot of fun and would love to hang out with you again"

"Thanks so much, I'm really glad you think so"

You got close to asa and kissed her cheek which immediately got red, asa put her hand on the place you had kissed before looking back at her date who in the meantime was already walking away but turned back to wave at her

"See you at school tomorrow!"

Asa smiled before waving back at you

"Yeah see you"

[listofwhyyouloveher]

can you do one with the greasers with a rly sporty reader that gets injured and can play for like a year?? thank you!! 💕

Summary: The Outsiders react to Sporty!Reader getting injured! Warnings: Mentions of injuries Author's Note: None PONYBOY CURTIS Ponyboy runs track, he knows how stressful it to be a person who does sports in the first place but he also knows how stressful it is to get an injury. He was there when it happened, you pulled a muscle really bad while running, nearly collapsing when it happened. You still got up and competed in your sport but you were wiped by the end of it. He was at your side the moment he could, water bottle and ice-pack in hand. You were being assessed by a physical trainer when they said that it would heal quickly, but you needed to spend a long time in PT and out of sports. Of course that bummed you out but Ponyboy started to tell you about he would do the PT with you, make it more fun for you. Overall just being a supportive boyfriend. JOHNNY CADE Johnny is not a sporty person, he doesn't do anything for school in that regard, but he does like playing football with the Curtis brothers and Darry says that he's pretty darn good. So when he accidentally tackles you a little rougher than anticipated, it's only natural that you get a little roughed up, but nobody was expecting this level. You had somehow broken your arm.

While you were busy holding back tears and Darry was calling the ambulance, he was wrapping your arm up in a crude sling. He kept apologizing and you consoled him, telling him you wanted a break from sports anyways. SODAPOP CURTIS The only thing that Sodapop does that's 'sporty' is those damn backflips before the rumbles and, of course, the rumbles themselves. So he's never had to deal with an injury except maybe a black eye. When he watched your ankle roll in a way that no one could presume was good during your match he cringed sooo hard. He was immediately by your side, holding your hand when your coach told you it was time to take a small break from sports. Now he just plays small games of football in his yard with you, making sure to be gentle with you since your injury but still pushing you to keep up. STEVE RANDLE I can see Steve actually playing sports, especially when he was younger. Like maybe peewee baseball or field hockey, nothing too much though. His heart nearly stopped when he saw you tumble because of something wrong with your leg. He sat there a little bit, trying to assess the situation before running over to you like everybody else. He's in utter shock, holding your hand, asking if you're alright, which you nod. Once he gets confirmation that you're ok, he just shuts up. Every once and a while he'll stroke your hair especially when you get the news you can't play till a long time. TWO BIT MATHEWS Two Bit def plays baseball, just for fun on the side but he likes it a lot actually. He's sporty, just not active, so he's never been injured by a sport or anything. However, he does come to all of your games and watches with a little cheap liquor in his flask. He nearly throws up when he sees you get injured, its not pretty. He doesn't know what to do so he just stands there, waiting for the people who do know what they're doing to give him the news/what's going on. When he learns that you'll probably be out for the rest of the season he offers to play baseball with you, so you won't lose your touch while recovering. DARRY CURTIS Darry is a massive sports nerd. He played football, he was a pretty darn good player too, and he watches all the sports channels and reruns he can get his hands on. That's why he really likes coming to your game and watching you practice, it's nostalgic and also he can sometimes give you pointers. He's HORRIFIED, when you get injured. He's rushing over, already knowledgable in some physical therapy, helping you as best as he can, trying to make you comfortable. Whispering to you that he'll train you to be back on the field quicker than when the coach says you can. DALLAS WINSTON Dallas is not fit at all. Despite his skinny nature, which is really just because he can't always eat and he's so addicted to cigarettes it would scare a junkie, he's so bad at any sport. He gets out of breath really easily and can't follow a simple game like baseball. He's rather jealous of you actually, since he always wanted to be a sporty person when he was a child, although he'd never EVER say it to you. He's very nonchalant about your injury, it doesn't affect him so why should it matter? that's his mindset, but if you ask his to run drills with you so you can stay in shape, he acts like he doesn't want to but he ends up doing it anyways. (He secretly loves doing this because of his childhood dream)

[transmutationisms]

hello! im just finishing up my read of structures of scientific revolutions, which has genuinely been very useful and shifted my understanding of science in a way being around people doing scientific research all day really didn't! i don't have a liberal arts education so i would love to get a sense of (a) what else of the philosophy / history of science canon is worth reading in the original (b) standard review papers or introductory textbooks and (c) critiques of the canon. i understand this is a big ask ofc, so feel free to point me to good depts / syllabi from good courses. thanks :)

yessss such a fun question >:) so, the thing that was so great about 'the structure of scientific revolutions', which i'm sure you've picked up on, is that kuhn pushed historians and philosophers of science to challenge the positivist model of science as a linearly progressive search to 'accumulate knowledge'. the idea of a 'paradigm shift' was itself a paradigm shift at the time; it was an early example of a language for talking about radical change in science without giving into the assumption that change necessarily = 'progress' (defined by national interests, mathematisation, and so forth). this is still an approach that's foundational to history and philosophy of science; it's now taken as so axiomatic that few academics even bother to gloss or defend it in monographs (which raises its own issue with public communication, lol).

where kuhn falls apart more (and this was typical for a philosopher of his era, training, and academic milieu) is in the fact that he never developed any kind of rigorous sociological analysis of science (despite alluding to such a thing being necessary) and you probably also noticed that he makes a few major leaps that indicate he's not fully committed to thinking through the relationship between science and politics. so for example, we might ask, can a paradigm shift ever occur for a reason other than a discovered 'anomaly' that the previous paradigm can't account for? for instance, how do political investments in science and scientific theories affect what's accepted as 'normal science' in a kuhnian sense? are there historical or present cases where a paradigm didn't change even though it persistently failed to explain certain empirical observations or data? what about the opposite, where a paradigm did change, but it wasn't necessarily or exclusively because the new paradigm was a 'better' explanation scientifically? how do we determine what makes an explanation 'better', anyway, especially given that kuhn himself was very much invested in moving beyond the naïve realist position? and on the more sociological side, we can raise issues like: say you're a scientist and you legitimately have discovered an 'anomaly'. how do you communicate that to other scientists? what mechanisms of knowledge production and publication enable you to circulate that information and to be taken seriously? what modes of communication must you use and what credentials or interpersonal connections must you have? what factors cause theories and discoveries to be taken more or less seriously, or adopted more or less quickly, besides just their 'scientific utility' (again, assuming we can even define such a thing)?

again, this is not to shit on kuhn, but to point out that both history and philosophy of science have had a lot of avenues to explore since his work. note that there are a few major disciplinary distinctions here, each with many sub-schools of thought. a 'science and technology studies' or STS program tends to be a mix of sociological and philosophical analysis of science, often with an emphasis on 'technoscience' and much less on historical analysis. a philosophy of science department will be anchored more firmly in the philosophical approach, so you'll find a lot of methodological critique, and a lot of scholarship that seeks to tackle current aporias in science using various philosophical frameworks. a history of science program is fundamentally just a sub-discipline of history, and scholarship in this area asks about the development of science over time, how various forms of thinking came into and out of favour, and so forth. often a department will do both history and philosophy of science (HPS). historians of medicine, technology, and mathematics will sometimes (for arcane scholastic reasons varying by field, training, and country) be anchored in departments of medicine / technology / mathematics, rather than with other faculty of histsci / HPS. but, increasingly in the anglosphere you'll see departments that cover history of science, technology, and mathematics (HSTM) together. obviously, all of these distinctions say more about professional qualifications and university bureaucracy than they do about the actual subject matter; in actuality, a good history of science should virtually always include attention to some philosophical and sociological dimensions, and vice versa.

anyway—reading recs:

there are two general reference texts i would recommend here if you just want to get some compilations of major / 'canonical' works in this field. both are edited volumes, so you can skip around in them as much as you want. both are also very limited in focus to, again, a very particular 'western canon' defined largely by trends in anglo academia over the past half-century or so.

philosophy of science: the central issues (1998 [2013], ed. martin curd & j. a. cover). this is an anthology of older readings in philsci. it's a good introduction to many of the methodological questions and problems that the field has grown around; most of these readings have little to no historical grounding and aren't pretending otherwise.

the cambridge history of science (8 vols., 2008–2020, gen. eds. david c. lindberg & ron numbers). no one reads this entire set because it's long as shit. however, each volume has its own temporal / topical focus, and the essays function as a crash-course in historical methodology in addition to whatever value you derive from the case studies in their own right. i like these vols much more than the curd & cover, but if you really want to dig into the philosophical issues and not the histories, curd & cover might be more fun.

besides those, here are some readings in histsci / philsci that i'd recommend if you're interested. for consistency i ordered these by publication date, but bolded a few i would recommend as actual starting points lol. again some of these focus on specific historical cases, but are also useful imo methodologically, regardless of how much you care about the specific topic being discussed.

Robert M. Young. 1969. "Malthus and the Evolutionists: The Common Context of Biological and Social Theory." Past & Present 43: 109–145.

David Bloor. 1976 [1991]. Knowledge and Social Imagery. Chicago: University of Chicago Press (here is a really useful extract that covers the main points of this text).

Ian Hacking. 1983. Representing and Intervening: Introductory Topics in the Philosophy of Natural Science. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Steven Shapin. 1988. “Understanding the Merton Thesis.” Isis 79 (4): 594–605.

Steven Shapin and Simon Schaffer. 1989. Leviathan and the Air-Pump: Hobbes, Boyle, and the Experimental Life. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Mario Biagioli. 1993. Galileo, Courtier: The Practice of Science in the Culture of Absolutism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Bruno Latour. 1993. The Pasteurization of France. Translated by Alan Sheridan and John Law. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Margaret W. Rossiter. 1993. “The Matthew Matilda Effect in Science.” Social Studies of Science 23 (2): 325–41.

Andrew Pickering. 1995. The Mangle of Practice. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Porter, Theodore M. Trust in Numbers: The Pursuit of Objectivity in Science and Public Life. Princeton University Press, 1996.

Peter Galison. 1997. “Trading Zone: Coordinating Action and Belief.” In The Science Studies Reader, edited by Mario Biagioli, 137–60. New York: Routledge.

Crosbie Smith. 1998. The Science of Energy: A Cultural History of Energy Physics in Victorian Britain. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Chambers, David Wade, and Richard Gillespie. “Locality in the History of Science: Colonial Science, Technoscience, and Indigenous Knowledge.” Osiris 15 (2000): 221–40.

Kuriyama, Shigehisa. The Expressiveness of the Body and the Divergence of Greek and Chinese Medicine. Zone Books, 2002.

Timothy Mitchell. 2002. Rule of Experts: Egypt, Techno-Politics, Modernity. Berkeley: University of California Press.

James A. Secord. 2003. Victorian Sensation: The Extraordinary Publication, Reception, and Secret Authorship of Vestiges of the Natural History of Creation. Chicago: University Of Chicago Press.

Sheila Jasanoff. 2006. “Biotechnology and Empire: The Global Power of Seeds and Science.” Osiris 21 (1): 273–92.

Murphy, Michelle. Sick Building Syndrome and the Problem of Uncertainty: Environmental Politics, Technoscience, and Women Workers. Duke University Press, 2006.

Kapil Raj. 2007. Relocating Modern Science: Circulation and the Construction of Knowledge in South Asia and Europe, 1650–1900. New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

Schiebinger, Londa L. Plants and Empire: Colonial Bioprospecting in the Atlantic World. Harvard University Press, 2007.

Galison, Peter. “Ten Problems in History and Philosophy of Science.” Isis 99, no. 1 (2008): 111–24.

Daston, Lorraine, and Peter Galison. Objectivity. Zone Books, 2010.

Dipesh Chakrabarty. 2011. “The Muddle of Modernity.” American Historical Review 116 (3): 663–75.

Forman, Paul. “On the Historical Forms of Knowledge Production and Curation: Modernity Entailed Disciplinarity, Postmodernity Entails Antidisciplinarity.” Osiris 27, no. 1 (2012): 56–97.

Ashworth, William J. 2014. "The British Industrial Revolution and the the Ideological Revolution: Science, Neoliberalism, and History." History of Science 52 (2): 178–199.

Mavhunga, Clapperton. 2014. Transient Workspaces: Technologies of Everyday Innovation in Zimbabwe. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

Lynn Nyhart. 2016. “Historiography of the History of Science.” In A Companion to the History of Science, edited by Bernard Lightman, 7–22. Chichester, UK: Wiley Blackwell.

Rana Hogarth. 2017. Medicalizing Blackness: Making Racial Difference in the Atlantic World, 1780–1840. Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press.

Suman Seth. 2018. Difference and Disease: Medicine, Race, and the Eighteenth-Century British Empire. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Aro Velmet. 2020. Pasteur's Empire: Bacteriology and Politics in France, its Colonies, and the World. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

i would also say, as a general rule, these books are generally all so well-known that there are very good book reviews and review essays on them, which you can find through jstor / your library's database. these can be invaluable both because your reading list would otherwise just mushroom out forever, and because a good review can help you decide whether you even need / want to sit down with the book itself in the first place. literally zero shame in reading an academic text secondhand via reviews.

[m-jelly]

hi hii, can i request some more of grandpa silverfox levi

Still young

Levi x fem!reader

Modern world, romance, married couple, grandpa Levi, grandma reader, fluff, suggestive moments.

Levi loved being a father and loves the fact he is now a grandpa. Levi shows that age is just a number and how young and energetic he can still be.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

Your body ached and throbbed, but the loving lips of your husband on your back did soothe you a little bit. A little mewl escaped you as he pressed his naked body against yours. "Mm, Levi. How are you still hungry?"

He nipped your shoulder. "You've been asking that over the many years we've been married and I will keep telling you, it is because you are so sexy and beautiful."

You rolled onto your side and gazed at him. Even though years had gone by, Levi was still handsome and young-looking. There were only a few wrinkles around his eyes and he had the sexiest grey stripes in his hair. He was your silver fox.

You reached over and caressed Levi's cheek. "I love you."

Levi smiled at you. "I love you too." He propped his head up on his hand and used his other hand to trace patterns on your waist. "I could stay like this all-day long."

"We've done it before, but today we can't. Our four kids are coming over. Evan and Lilly are both bringing their kids as well."

Levi's eyes sparkled. "The grandbabies."

You hummed a laugh. "It'll be fun." You sat up and huffed as your joints cracked. "Well, I better get baking."

Levi sat up and hugged you from behind. "Do you think they will want to go camping in the back garden with me?"

"Of course." You turned and kissed Levi. "Our kids and grandkids adore you."

Levi blushed. "I love all of them."

The two of you did your morning routines, had a filling breakfast and enjoyed a cup of tea. As you baked Levi held you from behind and showered you with kisses. He helped you with a few things before you sent him on a mission to set up the camping area outside in the back garden.

After a while, you decided to check on your husband to make sure he was okay. You couldn't help but smile at what he created. Levi had made a little campground. There was a fire pit in place, lots of tents to sleep in along with a canopy to relax under. Blankets and cushions covered the floors under the canopy so everyone could relax. You adored the fairy lights for when it got dark.

You smiled as you felt your heart warm up. Your husband always went above and beyond for the people he loved. "Levi?" You squealed when he tackled you into a hug. "Hello, Levi."

Levi nipped your shoulder. "Does this bring back memories? We went camping a lot as a couple. We'd shake the tent."

You giggled. "We got up to no good." You turned in his arms and smiled at him. "We should go camping again, you and me."

Levi smiled at you. "We should. We'll set something up. I'm sure the kids won't mind."

"Perfect idea."

"Mum? Dad?"

You looked over at the sliding door on the back of your house to see your eldest, Lilly, with her husband and two kids. "Welcome! Your dad set up a little campground. This okay?"

Lilly walked over. "It's perfect! Dad, you're the best." She hugged you tightly. "Thank you for the delicious baked treats, mum."

"You're very welcome."

Lilly hugged her dad. "Mm, thanks dad for this fun setup."

Levi smiled. "You're welcome."

You crouched down and hugged your precious grandkids as Levi talked with his daughter and her husband. You made the kids giggle and gave them little snacks. You played a few little games with them and listened to their cute stories about how things have been.

You looked up at Levi. "Hey kids, who's that? That grandpa? You should get him."

Your granddaughter giggled. "Tickle attack?"

Your grandson grinned. "Lots of tickles."

You nodded. "That's right. Go get him."

He spied his little grandkids gazing at him. "There are my little ackerbabies!" He raced after them making them squeal with laughter and run away. "I'll get ya!"

Lilly looked around. "I miss this place so much."

You smiled sweetly. "We miss you too. We miss all four of you. Sending little Bjorn off to university in September was very emotional."

Lilly rubbed your back. "It was hard for all of us because it meant we were all grown up. I think I'll be like you and Dad when I send my lot off."

"We'll be here for you, we'll be super old, but we'll be here."

She laughed. "Come on, Mum, you and Dad will always be young at heart. I think you two will reach 100." She looked over at Levi play fighting with her kids. "I just know Dad will be chasing you around even then."

"Probably." You giggled. "If you need anything to drink, we have a cooler full here. I'll bring out the baked treats."

As soon as you got inside and put together a tray of food, you almost squeaked in delight at seeing your son Evan with his baby daughter in his arms. Your daughter Kuchel with her baby bump and your youngest Bjorn with a bright smile. Having all your kids home was a little overwhelming and it made you so happy.

You gave all of them a hug and held Evan's baby in your arms for a bit as you chatted to him and his sweet wife. You showered your daughter Kuchel with compliments at how she was glowing and her bump looked cute. You then gave Bjorn a big hug as you listened to all their stories.

You led all of them outside so they could see their eldest sister. They all gathered together and chatted, but then they saw Levi. Levi rushed over to his kids and gave them all hugs before he took Evan's baby into his arms. You could tell by the look in Levi's eyes he was becoming broody.

You took a seat with a drink in your hand and watched Levi running around with his kids and his grandkids. You smiled at your daughter Kuchel as she opted to sit next to you. Kuchel was always the quiet one and just enjoyed being next to Levi and you, as well as playing video games and exchanging stories.

Kuchel hugged your side and hummed. "It's great to be back."

"You're welcome here anytime you want."

"I know. Thank you."

You wrapped your arms around her and hugged her. "You're Dad is like a kid again."

You both watched as Levi lifted his granddaughter into the air and spun around with her. He put her down and picked up his grandson and threw him up and down. Next, he sprinted around with them as they threw balls at him, but Levi dodged them all making the kids laugh.

In the end, Levi fell to the floor and let the kids jump on him. The sweet laugh that came from Levi made everyone smile. Before you, Levi was a very lonely and grumpy person. After you, he smiled and laughed a lot more. Levi had always said that you taught him what it means to live. He counted his blessings every single day.

He lay back on the floor and talked to his kids and the grandkids about all the stars in the sky, along with the stories linked to them. He shifted off the floor as his kids looked after their own kids. He walked over to you and Kuchel. He gave his daughter a hug and some words of love and encouragement.

You smiled as Kuchel kissed Levi's cheek and hurried over to her brothers and sister. "You're a wonderful father and grandfather."

Levi sat next to you and hugged you tightly. "You're an incredible mother and grandmother. I love you."

"I love you too."

[guillotinna]

I keep seeing these Gen z is task force 141 and I wanna join

Anytime you use a computer, you do that stupid movie hacker trope of exaggerated typing and say "I'm in"

Saying "POV" in front of sentences

In the group chat saying "1 like and I'll kms", liking your own message and then saying "damn guess I gotta"

I see a lot of these posts were Gaz and Soap would understand y/n....bffr, no those geezers would not

No one knows what the gen z kid is saying they just know it's probably not good

"You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?"

You have a small photo you keep tucked in your chest pocket and after enough times seeing you looking lovingly at it, one of the guys asks who it is. Is it a s/o from back home? 😏😏

You say no and pull out a photo card of your fave singer and they're like ??? Really

One time during a particularly physical scuffle with the enemy, you get thrown to the ground and huff out "one hop this time" only to promptly tackle tf outta your assailant while saying "take it back now yall"

Reads everyone's zodiac charts except ghost bc he won't tell his birthday let alone the time he was born so you just make one up

Price calls a 6 am meeting to which you say "double it and give to the next person"

*Alexa, play teenagers by MCR*

If you had time describe the base, you'd say it smells like ball sweat, blood and war crimes which everyone took offense to for different reasons

Would absolutely get soaps doodles tattooed

Actually speaking of which, imagine getting caught giving yourself stick and pokes with a pen and being banned from using pens period

You'd be in a meeting with a #2 pencil

Ofc a gen z member would be absolutely feral which very little regard for their own safety much to the dismay of the others

Quoting "Oh these aren't homemade, they were made in a factory....a bomb factory......they're bombs." All the time around soap even though he has no idea what you're talking about

You don't spent too much alone time with ghost bc he likes quiet and you can't be alone with your thoughts which is why you lean more towards spending time with soap or gaz

I just like puns so I'm gonna add this but gen z love borgs (a customized gallon jug of alcohol that is usually given a name) and yours is appropriately named taskforce 1-borg-1

this is mainly for my americans but i know pretty much the whole world got beef with engl*nd: before you met Soap, you thought the entire 141 was en*lish so when you finally did meet him, you said "oh thank god" with a sigh

americans 🤝 scotts

making fun of english "people"

"Pull up in the monster, automobile gangsta With a bad bitch that came fr-" "....sergeant, comms off please"

you show Ghost WAP and he has to take a walk

*price yelling at gaz and soap*: KYLE GARRICK AND JOHN MACTAVISH GET IN HERE- Y/n: oop not the government name

Another for my US baddies: if your'e ever arguing with any of the guys, the nail in the coffin would be "and it's called soccer"

"one more like and i'll-" "enough!"

you call Price "ms. girl" and he could not be more confused

someone asks "do you serve?" and u reply "yah, serve cunt"

when asked why you decided to join the military you said something like: "well i didnt think i'd live past 18 so when I did, i ended up here".....crickets from the rest of the team

"good thing we only have showers on base because i would have already taken a toaster bath by now"

ask Gaz "no bitches?🤨" one more time see what happens

price: the enemies have taken civvies hostage and blocked off all exits and entrances to the town-" y/n: "omg tea"

Also calling price "capt. Save-a-hoe"....I wanna be saaaavvveddd ;)

If you took a shot every time you said "rest in peace to all the soldiers that died in the service, I dive in her cervix", you'd be dead lmao

When asked if they like the military they'd say "it was either this or the psych ward so yah, I'll take it"

Quoting MPGIS constantly and no one even sort of knows what that is ("Crack. Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack?")

Some detainee being interrogated is spilling some nonsense, so you hit them with "oh brother this guy stinks!" And then with the butt of your gun

"Little bad trini bitch but she mixed with China, real thick vagina, smuggle bricks to-" "SARGENT ENOUGH"

Falling asleep on team mates (minus ghost's) shoulders mostly because the most peace they get is when you're unconscious

*when y/n hears any slightly suggestive/dirty phrase*: what are we talking about 😏 (iykyk)

Same energy as: " born next to a nuclear power plant, has an IQ of 2 and was hit in the head with several Rocks as a child"

Vine quotes out the wazoo, it's just awful for the rest of the team lmao

Replying to everything with "on god?"

soap: "what are you 6?" y/n: "yah 6 inches deep in your mom".....you did not walk away from that unscathed to say the least...worth it tho

[stinglesswasp]

Hi! First of all, I think your art is gorgeous and honestly whatever words I put here, they will never be able to do your art justice. I love your visual storytelling! Now for the actual ask part. How could one start learning how to draw? I have a STEM background and I have wrestled many times before with the idea of trying to pick up drawing and every time I see content creators, such as you, posting their works, it makes me even more motivated to get some scenarios out of my head and place them on paper. Right now I do it in writing but I would love to do something graphic about it too. Problem is, it can feel overwhelming to start as there are so many resources and stuff and it can feel like a daunting task. So, how did you start drawing?

Thank you so much and I hope you will always keep your passion for this craft alive and well. Be it CoD or anything else.

Hi, thank you for your kind words! I've been drawing since I was a wee baby wasp, but anyone can start at anytime. You're absolutely right that it can feel overwhelming, but I love that you're motivated! That's honestly half the battle. I can give some general advice:

Start small, like really small… I know it's tempting to immediately jump into drawing your favourite blorbos smooching (yes, this is the entire point of being an artist) but it's like exercise, you need to build muscle bit by bit before you can attempt any ambitious goals. Draw very basic shapes like circles, squares, triangles, followed by spheres, cylinders, prisms. Try to rotate/stretch/skew/slice them in your mind's eye and draw the result. Draw some simple objects around you. You'll find that all objects, including complex organic forms, can be broken down into basic shapes. Here's an example of the types of exercises you can try: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6F5q_5HC3o

There are beginner's tutorials on every aspect of drawing, I'd recommend spending a chunk of time in each area, learning fundamentals like perspective, proportions, and lighting. There are easy rules that you can follow that will make your art look 'correct' and not 'wonky' which might happen if you try to wing it without really understanding what you're doing. This video (though more advanced) has tons of useful advice and a fantastic guideline to follow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T_-DiAzYBc (in fact I think this is one of the best art 'tutorials' ever 🤯)

Be patient with yourself!! Your brain literally needs time to grow new neurons because you're learning a new skill. It can be frustrating to be unable to draw what you're imagining, but go easy and build up a strong foundation first. The more solid this is, the more satisfied you'll be when you finally tackle the stuff you actually want to make.

I hope this was helpful! Just practice a lot, have fun, and be proud of your progress 🧡 (also, sit with good posture, stay hydrated and take regular breaks <3)

[batsplat]

hiiii <3 i just saw your casey race recs post and i was wondering if you had one with dovi or marc races too! i'm relative new to motogp and i don't know where to start watching!

thankk youuuu, i love your blog, i'm learning so much thanks to you 😭😭 also you're really funny 🫶

right, this one admittedly was trickier than the casey list. marc in particular has accumulated one hell of a body of work... not easy to do justice to. marc's won a lot, but his most enjoyable races aren't the ones where he gaps the field by about two minutes at cota. it's the ones where he's scrapping and brawling his way through and the whole thing is a bit of a mess. and there's a lot of races to choose from in that regard, against a whole host of different rivals

which is very nice for him, but that makes it impossible to do anything comparably comprehensive for marc without getting to a slightly ridiculous length. luckily, that's never stopped me before, and long is what you're getting. you asked about dovi so I'm gonna go with him first, because that's a somewhat easier to tackle body of work - and limit myself to a mere ten twenty five seven eight recs. then I'll get to marc, where I've limited myself to an extremely reasonable thirty three five races, not including any I already covered in the dovi section. if you're looking for something a little more specific, like idk wet weather or feuding or whatnot, lemme know

same warning as before: plenty of race results will be spoiled in the description. in honour of how worryingly long this list is, I've escalated to a three asterisk system: * means 'go check it out', ** means 'personal favourite', *** means 'classic race'

dovi

spoiler free top ten list: welkom 2004, turkey 2007, sepang 2008, silverstone 2010, mugello 2012, mugello 2017, austria 2017, sepang 2017, brno 2018, qatar 2019

*welkom 2004: dovi's first grand prix win. most of this race consists of a three-way battle between locatelli, dovi and casey (who eventually drops away a bit) at the circuit that kicks off dovi's 125cc title-winning season. the second half of this race is more exciting than the first, and you'll never guess how dovi wins a grand prix for the very first time. let's just say he wasn't leading going into the last corner and leave it at that

**turkey 2007: andrea dovizioso once again getting himself involved in a last lap battle? SURELY not. this race is so so much fun, though after the start it settles down for a bit - stick with it, because when it gets going, it really gets going. these kids are vicious with each other! half the joy of watching these old 250cc/125cc (or equivalent) races is hearing the stuff the commentators chat about, basically getting all the good gossip of the time... like say jorge telling the spanish press they shouldn't believe half the things he says about his rivals... or how he'd already been visibly pissed off after qualifying because he was starting from p2 rather than pole... also the kind of podium both me and the commies always massively enjoy, aka one where two people on it basically refuse to acknowledge each other. the vibes between jorge and dovi are NOT good here and it's a lot of fun to watch these children being so pissy with each other

^one of his favourite career victories against his main rival in 250cc, the defending champion jorge lorenzo, who was sporting the number one plate on a superior bike to dovi's honda machinery. more often than not over the course of their time in the sport, these two have not gotten on well at all. it remains one of the sport's defining tragedies that chupa chups did not sponsor jorge throughout his career

qatar 2008: his debut in motogp and a strong race. pleasingly he gets involved in a last lap fight, and does pick off one of the aliens

*sepang 2008: dovi's first premier class podium and an extremely deserving one that really showcased his abilities as a defensive rider, the latest of late brakers etc etc. fought with valentino, then led a train of four/five riders at one point, then was involved in a great late scuffle for third place that lasted until the very end

donington park 2009: first motogp win! has to be said the aliens... uh. none of them delivered their most dignified performances. but ignore those clowns - dovi's of course cemented his reputation as a highly skilled wet weather racer over the years, but this was his first time in the spotlight in the premier class. it would take him seven more years to acquire his next victory

*qatar 2010: a somewhat stronger season than his disappointing 2009 campaign, and the first race was certainly promising. dovi scraps with vale, scraps with nicky hayden, scraps with lorenzo... the racing is pretty decent too. includes the strange sight of seeing the ducati out-powered in a straight line down the lusail straight and I'm sorry but at that point ducati might as well have called it a season, like that was their ONE thing. anyway, dovi still rode well to take advantage of it

*silverstone 2010: once jorge hits the front following some initial resistance from dani, the fight for the win is basically over - but what's going on behind him is good enough to make up for it. bunch of different duels going on in the top seven, whether it's dovi and de puniet, hayden and pedrosa, spies and sic, and eventually casey shows up to join in on the fun too. another one where a bunch of riders are pleasingly close together and there's some real suspense about the final order late on (though the most dramatic action in the last lap is happening right behind dovi - not that you see most of it given the classic tv direction sin of instead giving us a nice prolonged shot of jorge doing a wheelie over the line and his crew celebrating. cheers guys). nice comeback ride for casey-enjoyers too (he wasn't enjoying it)

**sepang 2010: lot going on in this race. three-way fight for the win. valentino is eleventh after a few corners. he does not end the race in eleventh place. this is a good race both for dovi enjoyers and for enjoyers of the... uh. complicated vale/jorge dynamic (this race immediately followed motegi, a notable low point of their relationship). lovely little spite ride, for people who like that kind of thing. love the way it gradually builds up as valentino closes and closes and dovi is just sitting on jorge's rear wheel, and then it just nicely lights up around half distance. me and the commentators are once again having a great time. it is here that jorge seals the title, so it's all post-race smiles with just a hint of posturing

silverstone 2011: casey won this by several light years, but dovi demonstrated his pedigree as a wet racer once again. his race involved intense skirmishes first with jorge and then with sic, and it's fair to say he got the better of both of them

^two excellent wet weather racers and teammates for a single year in a three person repsol honda squad. when dovi was informed he would be let go by the factory team, he decided against accepting a demotion within honda and instead made the jump to yamaha's tech 3 satellite outfit for one year. this was the first time he raced outside of honda in his grand prix racing career. then, in 2013, valentino's return to yamaha made space within ducati. he was always going to have to be vale's replacement rather than his teammate - in 2011 while searching for a ride he said "I would never accept to be teamed up with valentino rossi. it would be pure masochism. there is no room for anybody at his side, he takes it from you and he takes it all. when rossi is ready to share the limelight it will be the end of his racing days". fittingly, dovi was valentino's last ever teammate in motogp

mugello 2011: this feels like one of those classic alien era races where the winner of the race is determined after about a lap. but... it's not! makes for an unexpectedly exciting race and also *ding* last lap overtake

*valencia 2011: this one should have gone on the casey list too, knew I'd missed some. anyhow, on dovi - a lot of dovi's best races during those years came in the wet. but this time he was already engaged in a nice little scrap with dani and ben spies before the rain came. the clash also had real stakes for dovi and dani's final championship positions, a point of personal pride given that dovi had been let go by honda and pedrosa had been retained. a race that accidentally gets exciting again at the end, quite the dramatic finish. this was an emotional podium at the first race after sic's death. dovi and sic had grown up racing each other - and while he stressed that they had never been friends, dovi went to sic's house two days after the crash to see his family and share his grief with them

assen 2012: another one that probably could have gone on my casey list too, actually, with the fight for the win between dani and casey lasting pretty far into the race. behind them, it's dovi putting pressure on spies, lying in wait to make the attack... and, thrilled to say, we do in fact have some last lap overtaking. we don't really get to see how this contest is resolved because the audience needs to see the race winner coast for half a lap, but nevertheless! this one also has extra significance because spies was a factory yamaha rider and dovi was with the satellite team. always a good idea to get your market value up during contract negotiation season

*mugello 2012: would put this on my casey list if I'd included some disaster rides, which this is for him. that bit of the season where he made some high profile errors and controversial passing attempts of his own (and there was an overtake he did apologise for post-race) (this is the last casey mention I promise). anyway, never mind him. this is another one of those alien era races where the winner pretty quickly checks out by a margin of around ninety nine years, and indeed is already waving to the crowd on the last lap. the racing behind him is not too bad though, dovi is involved in a long duel with bradl that hayden eventually joins, and casey isn't the only guy executing controversial passes

assen 2014: ducati was in a pretty sorry state in 2013 and it's still in a pretty sorry state in 2014. another wet race podium, very strong race from dovi where he does manage to stick with marc for a while there. lower down the order, valentino is executing a rather nifty comeback ride after making an erroneous tyre choice

**qatar 2015: a great race and one that nicely sets the tone for what some consider a fairly interesting season. marc goes wide in the first turn and jorge has some kind of visor issues, so we end up with the two ducatis and valentino having it out for the win

^valentino after qatar 2015 about the current era of racing. at the start of the season, it looked like the ducatis would be right in the mix - surely one of the two factory riders would be able to snag a victory sooner or later. it was not to be that year and the results for the rest of the season were largely disappointing, but ducati had clearly made a step forward

sepang 2016: dovi's 2015-16 must have been maddening. three consecutive p2's to start 2015 but drops off from there. rumours at the start of 2016 that jorge's sick of yamaha and speculation is ripe about who in ducati might be sent packing for him. it looks like dovi might well be headed for the door, except iannone did something extremely damaging to his case early that season - dovi was the safe pair of hands, not the guy ducati put their hopes in. they're handing out wins to anyone who rocks up that year and indeed dovi's soon-to-be-former teammate gets ducati's first victory in about a million miserable post-casey years. plenty of talk about who'll win next and marc and vale both point to dovi, but it's just not happening. sepang is the penultimate round of the season and by this point, at least a little order has been restored again - which is when dovi finally gets his win in the wet. still bonkers to think he had two premier class wins pre-2017 both in the wet and then he's runner-up three consecutive years, very gibernau of him. he earned it too, a long scrap in the race with valentino until vale's tyres went kaput

*mugello 2017: dovi begins his transformation into a genuine title threat here. it looked like lorenzo would lead the ducati charge as he had been hired to do at ducati's home circuit in mugello, a circuit he had always been strong at. in the early stages of the race, jorge fought valentino (fresh from his first motocross accident of the season and expected to struggle late in the race) for the lead. dovi had missed warm-up as he was suffering from food poisoning, but, as would happen repeatedly that season, jorge quickly slipped back down the order - and in the end it was dovi who took the fight to the yamahas. a home victory, his first dry win, and all while not at his best physically... no wonder it was one of dovi's favourite career wins

^the moment dovi replaced maverick vinales as marc's biggest threat that season

catalunya 2017: it took dovi seven years to win two races and a week to win his next two. this was the moment when yamaha really started falling apart and confirmed the looming realignment of the competitive landscape. it all came back to the tyres - as it often did in those years, but it was particularly extreme in the sweltering heat. winning a race with your tyre preservation skills on a bike that allows you to preserve those tyres doesn't make for the most thrilling of races, but hey, job well done. his teammate finished fourth, almost ten seconds back after leading on the first lap

***austria 2017: one of the classic marc/dovi duels. the best races between the two of them (unsurprisingly) tended to be at tracks that quite heavily favoured ducati - and austria was already establishing itself as a prime ducati hunting ground. which meant that marc was pretty happy to even find himself that high up in the order and doing damage limitation in terms of the points swing in the championship fight. does that mean he plays it safe while trying to snatch the win from dovi? not even going to bother to answer that question

*motegi 2017: another in the marc/dovi collection and one that reaffirmed dovi's status as a worthy challenger to marc. a dramatic last lap in treacherous conditions that goes down right to the very last corner

**sepang 2017: such an impressive win. the title was on the line... or rather, dovi knew that he basically had to win to even still give himself a chance. he was not helped out one bit by his teammate in this regard, but rode a fantastic race in the wet to eventually force the title decider (left field choice but this dovi win is the one that most impressed me, fully thought the title would be wrapped up here especially after a poor race in phillip island)

valencia 2017: has to go on here as it's the one title decider dovi has gotten himself involved in. marc had a comfortable 21 point margin, which meant that for dovi to win the title marc would've had to finish... uh p12 or lower I believe, and dovi would've had to win the race. straightforward for marc, right? well, title deciders have a tendency to get a bit weird and nervy, just because of the stakes involved... and you can tell from how marc's riding. this race is also really dull until about ten laps to go... thing about valencia is that even when it's looking like an overtake is coming it's basically guaranteed that it won't be. the funniest part of the race is jorge ignoring team orders to a ridiculously blatant extent and ducati attempting to psychically murder him

^dovi always knew the odds were against him going into valencia. this is the moment his title bid ends, ironically just after he'd finally been freed of lorenzo

*qatar 2018: dovi would never come as close to the title again as he did in 2017, but at the start of 2018 at least it looked like he could be a serious challenger once again. this is a great race, another last lap battle... trying not to get repetitive so here, have some of my race notes to change things up:

**brno 2018: for a while, this looks like we're building up for a nice little four-way fray between dovi, vale, marc and jorge (feat. crutchlow). dovi does what he always does when he's leading and goes at the slowest possible pace, and everybody else does what they always did in those years and lies in wait, while occasionally reshuffling the order at the front in the name of whimsy. and then the yamaha does what it always does and somehow burns out its tyres anyway even though they're crawling around the circuit. anyhow, once valentino has done his scheduled backwards slide and jorge has rejoined the fray, it shapes up as a nice little three-way fray between dovi, marc and jorge. appreciating dovi races is all about getting really into the idea of tyre preservation and knowing the last laps will probably be fun. extra little spice because by this point the jorge/dovi dynamic is... not great :)) and we get an appropriately feisty duel between those two in particular

^after his win at the season opener in qatar, dovi had struggled to continue the momentum from the previous season. he went into the race fourth in the standings behind marc, vale and maverick, already 77 points down on marc - and his teammate had recently won back-to-back races. an important win and the rest of his season was a lot stronger. and of course, he had the joy of beating jorge, a relationship that managed to deteriorate even further over the course of that year

*thailand 2018: minus the yamahas providing an early and a late cameo, this one's all about another marc and dovi duel. a lot of stalking and lurking and then marc makes his move with four laps to go. excellent last few laps with overtakes galore, including of course at the very last corner

**qatar 2019: perhaps the archetypal dovi race. runs a very slow pace at the front to just carefully manage the pace, which leads to a nicely bunched up field that keeps sniping at each other. the top three for much of the race of marc, dovi and rinsy switch around plenty of times. there's one moment where dovi just like. ups the pace simply to test if he can drop everyone and then fully drops it by a second the next lap when he can't. pretty funny in how blatant it was. also, don't want to shock you here but we do indeed have another last lap battle. top five at the end covered by .6 seconds

*austria 2019: the first lap is WILD and actually manages to delay the inevitable marc/dovi duel. fabio leads for a bit, and then you are reminded of exactly why he hasn't been able to shut up about top speed for the past few years, like man after a while I'd be traumatised too. another fun duel between marc and dovi, which ends with... that's right. a last lap battle. that was kind of what their rivalry was about by 2019, given there wasn't really a title fight any more (certainly not after jorge played bowling in catalunya) - but the races themselves were thrillers, a welcome remedy when marc's dominance was at its most stifling

austria 2020: just as a heads-up - this race includes a terrifying crash when the bikes of zarco and franky morbidelli almost fly straight into valentino and maverick. nobody was seriously injured but they were inches away from a life-threatening accident; it's by the grace of god stuff. the race was stopped and then restarted, which... bit tough to say whether that helped or hurt dovi. probably helped (though I reckon he was always winning this) - in part two mr tyre whisperer is chasing jack miller on soft tyres. what happens next will shock you. deeply odd race... a lot of 2020 races had a surreal vibe - you just have to kinda experience it for yourself. at one point there's a graphic on screen telling you dovi, zarco and stefan bradl are competing for the win. this is not the case

^once more with feeling: dovi's third win at the redbull ring and only win in 2020, just after he'd announced his decision to leave ducati. between injuries, being unable to make the new rear tyre work for him and the growing alienation from ducati, 2020 was not an easy season for dovi. in the end, he was not the one to take advantage of marc's absence, and his time as a top-level rider ended when him and ducati parted ways

marc

spoiler free top ten list: cota 2013, assen 2015, phillip island 2015, mugello 2016, misano 2017, phillip island 2017, argentina 2018, assen 2018, silverstone 2019, sachsenring 2021

mugello 2010: first grand prix win! once marc has worked his way through the field this develops into a tight four-way scuffle that continues until the very end, with marc winning by .039s

estoril 2010: absolute chaos race and also the penultimate race of the season with a tight and tense championship situation. marc does well to move up the order until the rain comes and the race is paused... and then my man bins it on the sighting lap. anyway who needs more than half a bike to win a race. one hell of a comeback ride with a nicely dramatic ending

phillip island 2011: marc had to start this race from the back of the grid as a result of a one minute time penalty. early in one of the practise sessions that weekend, he had crashed and had been forced to wait in the pits while the bike was repaired, but was then sent out with only a minute to go. he tried to get in a hot lap after the chequered flag was out, and barrelled into the back of another rider who was slowing down after a practise start. the other rider went to the hospital, though was not seriously injured, and marc ended up with only a cut - but both parties were very lucky to escape relatively unscathed and he was heavily criticised for it. he himself did not agree with the penalty, and his team lodged an unsuccessful appeal. this was also a big race in that year's championship fight (that marc eventually could not see out after his crash in sepang), presenting a huge opportunity for title rival bradl to gain a decisive points advantage. a very impressive comeback ride, as well as a good contest for the win

**qatar 2012: love a race that's a mess. the season opener, and also marc's first race back after the horror crash in sepang the previous year that had given him career-threatening diplopia. marc spends a fair portion of the race battling with iannone, one of his main rivals that year, and if I personally had to fight both baby marc and baby iannone I would simply leave. another bloke is so furious at marc he slaps his arm on the cooldown lap, which was in response to a very controversial pass down the straight where marc kinda ran him off track. both were reprimanded by race direction. the finish is ridiculously close. go watch it

^the cooldown lap slap - marc was involved in several controversies that year. at the end of the year, the fim updated its rulebook, widely seen as a response to marquez-related incidents and the controversial handling of them, and introduced the penalty point system. ironically, it was that system that resulted in valentino's back-of-the-grid penalty in valencia 2015. in early 2017, the penalty points were once again scrapped

motegi 2012: another comeback ride - this time, marc stalls at the start. does his thing and eventually has a late scrap with his main title rival pol espargaro for the win. good fun

valencia 2012: 'oh you can't overtake at valencia' 'oh all the races are boring' 'oh could they please kick it off the calendar come on we deserve a better race to end the season' is what only an idiot would say. marc's last moto2 race starts from p33 after being penalised for a practise collision. spectacular comeback rides are a funny calling card to have for the statistically strongest qualifier in motorcycling grand prix history, but reflects how much of a trouble magnet he was - especially in those days. he might not have a great reputation in the premier class, but he did calm down in 2013, relatively speaking. or, well, he certainly did things it was harder to penalise him for

*qatar 2013: marc's first premier class race. jorge basically fucks off at the front from the word go, but it's an exciting battle behind him - that of course eventually involves valentino, who as ever had worked his way through the pack from further down the grid. first race first podium simple as

*cota 2013: this was always going to go on the list given that it's marc's first premier class win. the race itself is fine, not the most exciting entry on this list, but still! obviously worth a watch

**jerez 2013: icl I feel like this race really benefits from watching jerez 2005 first. not only because 2005 is the better race, but because I think you need to picture twelve year old marc marquez watching this race and thinking it was just like. the coolest shit ever. the patriotism left his body that day. I will not talk about the 2005 race here, but to be clear I am with twelve year old marc marquez on this one. anyway, back to 2013: the race is decent, the infamous copycat overtake is great but arguably the parc fermé and podium vibes are even better. not only was he shameless, but he was shameless in a way he knew echoed his hero beat for beat. baby's first premier class controversy

^the infamous finger wag. marc tries to approach him again during the podium celebrations, but seems unbothered when he is rebuffed. jorge made clear throughout that season he thought marc should be penalised, repeatedly bringing up when jorge himself was given a one race ban and how it had taught him a lesson about responsible riding (some of his rivals in 250cc and premier class rookie season might have some thoughts on that). his criticisms continued well into the season, with tensions rising again after marc's overtake on dani in aragon led to dani crashing

**laguna seca 2013: can't leave this out. important to stress moto2/125cc never went there, so it was his first time at just this notoriously tricky track that was known to be incredibly hard to conquer (here is a clip of vale and marc talking about this in the sachsenring presser). I wouldn't say the race itself is all that great once marc does his thing at the corkscrew, but laguna's quite high up there on tracks you can mostly just enjoy watching bikes go around. big moment in the championship fight because it's when marc is racking up the points at the expense of the injured lorenzo/pedrosa

^2008: valentino stops during his victory lap to kiss the corkscrew where he overtook casey // 2013: marc gets his photo taken at the corkscrew a few days before he will overtake valentino there

*silverstone 2013: a jorge/marc contest for the victory with a dramatic ending, one of the best races that year. marc had dislocated his left collarbone in that morning's warm up, so there was added tension in whether he could hold up physically across a race stint - at a time when jorge (and dani) desperately needed to make up points. interesting continuation of the lorenzo/marquez arc that season in that jorge was a little more willing to match marc's aggression, whatever the problems he had with it

valencia 2013: not bad as valencia races go, actually. which is literally only because it's a title decider and the points situation is exciting, but well credit where it's due. proper tussle between the top three - jorge was so aggressive as he attempted to back marc up into the pack that journalists in the presser afterwards were essentially inviting marc to call jorge a hypocrite. obviously has sentimental value as it's where marc's first premier class title was sealed (even if it should have been sealed earlier but hey ho)

*qatar 2014: I found it quite tricky to make a few picks for 2014, because I feel like a lot of the races this year are in the category of 'fun but not all time epics', and it's hard to really choose between a bunch of them in terms of either significance or entertainment value. the first race of a ten race win streak feels as good a place to start as any, and represents the moment when marc really began stamping his authority on the series. in many ways, this race echoed the race of the previous year: jorge leading from the start, valentino charging through the field, marc somewhere in between. except this time jorge crashes and the fight between marc and valentino is for the victory. it lasts until the penultimate lap, and this time it's marc who comes out on top

le mans 2014: marc did try occasionally to keep things interesting. yes he consistently qualified very well, but sometimes he threw in a bad start or an awful first lap for the vibes. in this one, he ran very wide during the first lap (partly helped along by jorge) and ended up back down in tenth. the pace differential is too extreme for good battles but still, some nice overtaking

**catalunya 2014: see above - there's not all that much to separate this from say mugello or silverstone, so the tiebreaker is personal preference. a good, fun scrap that involves all four of marc, vale, jorge and dani at different stages - even if the end result by this point feels almost inevitable. it is here that valentino rather understandably attempts to strangle marc in parc fermé

^still a close contest with seven laps to go. plenty of overtakes, plenty of confusion relating to a yellow flag, and last lap contact

indianapolis 2014: last of the win streak, at a track that was never particularly popular with riders and typically short on good racing. for a while there at the start it looks like this race would deserve to go on the dovi list until valentino just. um. bumps him aside. and lets marc and jorge past both of them. and then lorenzo also bumps dovi aside. sorry dovi, yamaha decided you were not to be involved in this. the next few laps are good fun too, like by this point you can TELL how much both yamaha riders want this. no manners in sight. icl it's mainly the fact that it's closing out the win streak that has made me include it and the first few laps, because once it settles down it... sure does settle down. ignore this list and just pick a win from the 2014 win streak at random - if you enjoy that one, you'd probably enjoy them all

***assen 2015: probably my favourite marquez/rossi battle. really all you can ask from with a race with two protagonists: lasts the whole race, tense, high stakes, two guys who are particularly motivated to beat each other, several overtakes plus a hell of a lot of stalking and studying each other, and last lap controversy. involves cunning, a little bit of ambiguity in the intentions of both parties, some unresolved questions. an appointment with race direction. an awfully tense post-race press conference that the relationship of the protagonists could never quite recover from. the ideal race

***phillip island 2015: one of the best races of all time etc etc, though it may make you feel like somebody is repeatedly stabbing you with the sword of damocles. still, that's entirely to do with what follows, and the race itself is a fantastic four-rider battle with a murdered seagull and a late twist

**sepang 2015: well, obviously! the actual confrontation between marc and valentino is deeply counterproductive in terms of 'guys you're letting lorenzo/pedrosa escape, stop divebombing each other' and well the whole thing is all kinds of tragic. but the racing itself nicely showcased the complete lack of respect between the pair of them and there is something kind of mesmerising about seeing two all time great wheel-to-wheel fighters go at it, no holds barred. plus it's a major part of marc's story. it is what it is

argentina 2016: this probably isn't making a lot of top thirty something lists, but hey, sometimes you just need to watch a kind of stupid race. this race was kind of stupid. it has the dubious honour of being the first in the marc/vale walk of shame 'hey remember when you guys fought here last year' tour, and they do actually get to scrap it out a bit on track again - though that confrontation is defanged from the moment they have to switch bikes. the last corner incident is dumb but also funny. the podium has truly rancid vibes. I had a good time

^nobody else on that podium as much as twitches when marc goes down. blank faces when he jokes about it in the presser. kind of impressive really. same weekend

***mugello 2016: there is a moment when you think this race will end up being an extremely tight contest until the end between the three protagonists of the 2015 fiasco. then something extremely infuriating happens, and it ends up not being that. on the one hand you leave that race feeling a little robbed, on the other hand it did still feature a veryyy dramatic finish between two of the protagonists. excellent race

**catalunya 2016: the first proper post-2015 marc/vale battle, and at valentino's favourite location for enjoyable race-long duels. it's not like... I don't think of that particular category, I'd call it my absolute favourite - but that's a very high bar. no surprise that they both really really wanted to beat each other, and hey interpersonal animosity always adds a fun nice note to the racing

sachsenring 2016: the problem with the sachsenring is that it used to produce banger after banger race until some diminutive bloke called 'marc marquez' fucking ruined it. 2003 2006 2009 2010 2011 are certified classics, as good as it gets really, tight dramatic fights for the victory and podium positions and integral to the narrative arc of their respective seasons. you used to be able to rely on this track to give you a SHOW. but then that twat showed up and... tbh I can't even remember many of his wins there having particularly memorable racing behind him (I did quite like 2018), so maybe it's not only his fault (to be clear it is in large part his fault). anyway the 2016 edition is in that stretch of 2016 where everything just kind of. goes to shit. like they start just letting anyone win. jack miller won in assen that year. anarchy in motogp. it's the michelin tyres, it's the rain, and it's this bit of the season where marc starts running away with the title. this is another very messy race, more rain, and it's one that has convinced me once and for all that marc has actual plot armour at this circuit. there is a moment where you will go 'how does he win this race' and it's the moment where he goes so far off the track he's halfway to austria. watch to find out how he somehow scams another win at the ring. damn him please do it again this year

^come on this is bullshit. if I'm the other guys I'm calling for a ban of the sachsenring until we figure out what the hell is going on. no wonder he was hopeful of winning on the murder honda

**assen 2017: brilliant race. initial four-way tussle between marquez, rossi, zarco and petrucci that includes some early aggression between the usual suspects and then some light rain to further spice things up. right on the very last lap, there are two great scraps going on - one for the win (with a controversial involvement of a backmarker), and the other for the last podium spot against cal crutchlow

**misano 2017: this is a race that very much had the shadow of valentino rossi looming over it, even though he was not in attendance. valentino had gotten himself involved in his second serious motocross crash of the season, both right before italian races, and had this time decided to take himself out of the title hunt rather definitively by breaking his leg. some time after this, marc posts a photo of himself doing motocross - which he has done a lot of over the years, but was interpreted as taunting valentino and got plenty of backlash online. whether this was a contributing factor or not, he received a frosty reception in misano. he crashed during the wet warm up session and was booed by fans as he rode past them on the scooter, prompting him to blow kisses at them. the race occurred at a tense moment during that title fight: marc had suffered a mechanical dnf in the previous race and in doing so had surrendered the championship lead to dovi. he could not afford another dnf at this late stage of the season. which perhaps made it a little surprising just how hard he fought for that win against petrucci in the treacherous wet conditions, the risk he took with his overtake on the very last lap. was it just to get an extra five points and the win, or was it (as the speculation went at the time) about getting revenge on the italian fans? who's to say - but in any case it was one of the defining performances of that year's championship and another example of marc's skill and confidence in the wet

***phillip island 2017: you know the drill - this circuit produces bangers, and this is another all-time great race. marc by this point had a weird and somewhat cursed record at phillip island in the premier class, where he'd a) been disqualified in 2013, b) crashed out of a comfortable lead in 2014, c) won in a dramatic last lap in 2015, and d) crashed out of a comfortable lead in 2016. so in his first four years, the only year he'd even finished the race, it set off a deeply unfortunate series of events involving marc and allegations of sabotage made by his childhood hero - which maybe goes to show the universe just wanted that particular relationship to be doomed. anyway, 2017!! apparently marc decided he could only finish at that circuit when it involved a dramatic battle between multiple riders. good on him! the racing is brutal, with plenty of contact between the riders, as perhaps you might expect looking at the list of protagonists: marquez, rossi, zarco, vinales, iannone, crutchlow. high stakes too - a decisive points swing in that year's title fight that could have easily gone disastrously wrong for marc. in 2018, marc once again did not finish the race

^a hard-fought race where all participants are more than happy to get physical. one of several races that season that prompts questions about aggressive riding, though this time all the riders are in agreement. after the handshake, marc gestures to the rubber that now stains valentino's leathers. in a year where team orders were a big topic of debate, valentino finished right in front of his teammate - who had still been in mathematical contention for the championship

**argentina 2018: for lovers of hubris and head loss. the full marc marquez experience. off his rocker the entire weekend. got whacked with a massive penalty at the end of the race that made the whole thing quite literally pointless and deserved every second of said penalty. jorge's long-standing mantra of 'just give him a race ban' became part of the discourse again. ended up p18 to valentino's p19, hand in unlovable hand. but apart from that, it was a really great performance!

^complaints at the time obviously centred around how marc was a repeat offender in the recklessness of his riding, and lacking in respect (see too the ever-lurking parallels drawn with the jerez 2011 apology - which was, it has to be said, issued for a considerably less egregious offence). publicly marc was mostly remorseless, accepting more blame in the aleix incident than the valentino one, and saying in an interview a few days later that he wasn't going to change his approach. it's the worst and the best of him - he had no need to barge aside other riders with the sheer raw pace he was able to access. on the phillip island 2003 comparison, see valentino's words about riding angry here. in 2012, marc was asked about whether there were races where he was determined to win at all cost, and he mentioned some examples from that year before adding, "there have been many times when I had to channel my inner rage to win a race"

***assen 2018: excellent race, as memorable as phillip island 2015 or 2017 if your favourite type of race is multi-rider dogfights. involves seven or eight riders in the lead group for large chunks of the race, with the order of those riders chopping and changing with incredible regularity. some pretty ridiculous saves (at least three riders right at the sharp end of the action where you feel that they really should have hit the deck) and a lot of contact, putting on full display just how aggressive riding had gotten during that time. most riders enjoyed the contest, though this time it was dovi's turn to be a dissenting voice. in any case, there were reportedly 99 passes within the lead group and it is rightly remembered as one of that era's finest gems

*austria 2018: marc vs the ducatis, as was tradition at the red bull ring. marc wanted to get payback for the last time they had been in austria, and determinedly got a good start to try and avoid history repeating itself - but he never quite managed to escape his pursuers. this is one of those races where there's a long stretch of it just... building, where it feels like either marc will make the break for it or there'll be a dramatic finale. which can make it ever so slightly annoying when there isn't a dramatic finale, but I am happy to assure you that this race delivers on that count. gets very good with ten laps to go

^plenty of close battles, but in those years nobody could match marc for week-to-week consistency. the closest by that metric in 2018 was valentino - but typically a few positions further down the order, hindered both by competitive decline and an increasingly horrendous yamaha. as for jorge, he found his form on the desmodici just as the ducati higher-ups lost their patience and kicked him out. he reached some impressive peaks and at last adapted well to the demands of the bike, but his season was eventually marred by injury

***silverstone 2019: quick warning - quite a scary crash on the first lap even by motogp standards. anyway, dramatic last lap battle with alex rins, who I think it's fair to say marc hasn't always had the best of relationships with. while things haven't exactly gone to plan for either rider since then, excluding fabio that was probably the rivalry that I was most excited to see develop post-2019. ah well. the race itself is fantastic though, one of those that just gradually ramps up the tension before the finale. the last two laps are crazyyyyy. top five closest finish in premier class history

^marc and rinsy (not at silverstone but earlier in the season at jerez). some long-standing bad blood here and I'm sure rinsy really would have liked to strangle marc from time to time

**misano 2019: another visit to valentino's home turf in the year time finally caught up with vale. before this race, marc and valentino tussled in qualifying. an odd and deeply unserious incident that had zero actual impact on their already doomed laps, it's notable in part due to how much marc visibly lost his cool over the whole thing. from p5 on the grid he ended up in an enjoyable duel with fabio quartararo for the victory that went down to the very last lap. as the commentators noted, he celebrated more than he has after sealing some of his championships. coming out best in a last lap battle, making sure to keep the edge over fabio, as well as 'winning in enemy territory'? the perfect weekend. as he says in the immediate post-race interview, "honestly speaking, yesterday was the extra motivation, the extra push for the race" and "really nice to win here in italy". you could tell

**thailand 2019: marc attempting to burnish his last lap battle record by breaking children's hearts? sad stuff. cruel and unusual. a lot of fun to watch. it's an understatement to say that fabio's rookie campaign exceeded expectations, and marc quickly identified him as his biggest threat going forwards. this was a match point race for marc and he needed to outscore dovi by two points to seal the title, but he had such an overwhelming lead that he could afford to take more risks than he might have other years - even if the race did follow a massive crash in friday practise that required a hospital check-up. another race that involves a lot of stalking and shadowing and plotting before the action really kicks off (with four laps to go). this race was part of marc's considerable efforts that year to put fabio in his place while he still could. poor fabio

jerez 2020: hurts to include but this list wouldn't really be complete without it. another race that very much encapsulates the full marc marquez experience. truly bonkers pace until it all went horribly wrong

^funniest moment of the race is when valentino does what is surely the closest you can get to a double take on a motorcycle when he sees marc go past. like he sees marc, then clocks who he's seeing and then visibly looks again in a sort of 'HOW is he here'

*sachsenring 2021: thing about marc at the sachsenring is that it undoubtedly got boring in terms of the victory fight for a few years there, but it's also just a fun, tricky track and he's a joy to watch on it. obviously this win is anything but boring, and the margin he pulls on the field never feels as comfortable as it should be. I don't really think I have much to say about this race that hasn't already been said. I cried

^make that eleven in a row at the ring. honorary mentions go to cota and emilia romagna '21, at time of writing his most recent wins. neither are classic races exactly - and indeed, if you're looking for races relevant to the current climate then aragon '21 is a good shout. at emilia romagna (the second race held at the misano circuit that year), pecco crashes out while being pursued by marc, which clinches the title for fabio. it is also the last race on home soil for valentino

**phillip island 2022: one more for good measure. somehow this is his first premier class ride at the circuit where he finished the race but did not win. late on in that year's tense title battle and gives you exactly what you want from a race at phillip island. it's not even a multi-rider dogfight as it is an every-rider dogfight that eventually becomes a multi-rider dogfight at the front of the pack... but if you looked at the run order after about three laps you would NOT be able to guess who the riders involved are, never mind who wins it. absolute chaos. one hell of a contest right until the very end involving one of that year's two primary title contenders - and some other foes old and new. marc's sole podium that year, and his 100th in motogp. second closest top ten in premier class history, not too bad

[just-a-ghost00]

Surprise reading to celebrate my new oracle deck

I was kindly gifted an oracle deck by a French reader that goes by the name of Soul shadow, whom I admire a lot. It’s a 90s anime themed oracle deck. So to celebrate this new baby, I decided to do a reading on the following theme :

a message from someone you love ❤️

No picture to pick from today, just use your intuition and pick a number between 1 and 3.

Group 1

I had to take a break to sort things through. There were so many things I wanted to tell you but it would have been difficult for me to express them in the state I was in. I don’t want you to think that I’m mad at you or that I hate you because that isn’t true. I sincerely think that meeting you was the best thing that could happen to me. I met you at the perfect timing and there is nothing I would change about that. With you I really feel like I can tackle the world and overcome anything. I need time to understand what this means to me, to figure out how I can better fit you into my life, to solve my own issues and find my footing. I know that asking you to be patient is a bit unfair. But I really need the space right now. I can only hope that you understand this decision and that all ends well in the end. I know this is going to be difficult but I have hope that we can overcome this together. Will you wait for me?

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 2

I really thought that I had it all figured out. But that was until you came into my life. At first, I will be honest, I didn’t like your energy. I thought you were too carefree. But the more I got to know you the more I understood the importance of going with the flow with you. Know that I am open to whatever may happen, now that I stopped overthinking, I can really appreciate the journey and I really feel hyped up. Though I don’t need it, I really like to be reassured by you. Every time that you encourage me or celebrate me, it’s just one more sign for me that I’m doing the right thing and I’m grateful for that. There’s a lot that I wish to say and I plan on taking the time to express them when I get the chance. I have now found a new goal, a new purpose in life and I intend on showing everyone, including you, what I am made of. I know that I can be better and do better. And though a part of me is scared, I know deep down it’s worth fighting for. It’s time for me to put some order into my life and work toward my desired reality. Thank you for showing me the way to my destiny. You really are amazing!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 Group 3

I hate that I love you because I can’t have you. You were the one thing that I could not control and I believe you will be the death of me. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that I just should keep living and enjoying life. I try to forget you but I can’t. I tell myself that I don’t care. That I don’t like you. That all I need is my family who always supported me but honestly that’s just bullshit. You are family as well. You have always supported me and the least I can do is be there for you too. I’m haunted by my memories of you. I want to talk to you so bad and a part of me is that close to giving in to temptation. But another just isn’t ready to face it. Those memories are too painful. Behind my cold exterior lies a ton of repressed feelings that I can’t seem to control. Whenever I’m with the people I love I can’t help but to think of you and wish you were there. Whenever I’m having fun and celebrating life, I can’t help but to think of you who always stood for me and cheered for me and feel grateful because this victory is also yours. In these moments, when I am the happiest, the first thing I want to do is come rushing to you to share that happiness with you. Ah you make me go crazy. I just want to leave it all behind and come back to you asap. Fuck it.