#and i could still hear them
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me trying to explain that my hearing is supersonic even by autistic standards and i can hear conversations from a room away and the tv in the living room and the fridge in the kitchen and the humming of the electricity and i'm fairly certain my tinnitus is not tinnitus caused by hearing loss but some sort of passive sound in a highly industrialized and electronic environment that most other people cannot hear: wdym the silence is quiet
#personal shenanigans#it's possible i need to talk to more neurodivergent people online#bc all the neurodivergent people i know irl think my hearing is whack#so i don't even have a reference for what a reasonable range of hearing is#i just know being in a quiet room makes me want to commit crimes bc it's so not quiet#if i don't have white noise i will straight up just go into sensory overload#when i was a teenager i shared a wall with my mom and stepdad#and i'd hear them whisper through the wall#even with my fan on#so i moved my bed all the way across the room#and i could still hear them#not the words anymore but like#the barest undertones of words and i would straight up cry sometimes#is any of this in the realm of normal???#no fucking idea#i feel genuinely alienated by my inability to relate to others on this#anyway#autism#neurodivergence
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Part two of the reverse verse is here! The reverse boys meet the original boys. They're not really getting along as well as I had hoped...
Again, this was a commission for @i-am-as-normal-as-you-are and they asked for angst/funny vibes... I think it's mostly just angst though. Oh, well...
Part one
#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#reverse verse#there's a lot i could say about this one#the idea of someone telling edwin he's go to hell is absurd as it is#edwin telling edwin? lmao#the charles... oh they hate each other#reverse charles is angry (he always is) because this other version of himself was spared hell... in exchange for edwin going there?#obviously it doesn't work like that. og charles hadn't even been born when his edwin was sent to hell#but anger is not a rational thing. especially not for this boy#og charles? you don't want to know what he's thinking#i'm telling you anyways#he... kind of agrees. if someone had to go to hell#why edwin? why not him? there is an universe in which that happened#so why not this one? unfair#then again... look at this charles who did go to hell#he's explosive. he's DANGEROUS#he shouldn't be near edwin#if og charles had gone to hell would he be the same? would he be too angry to be trusted? would he be like his father?#and if so would that really count as saving edwin at all?#if this is the kind of best friend poor edwin would end up with?#on a happier note though#physical contact!! reverse charles loves it#i don't have all the details but his hell was on the rage ring so it was different to the dollhouse.#and it was a very violent place so boy loves gentle touches#luckily edwin is more willing to give them to him with each year#i think what the edwins are feeling is a lot more clear#but still would love to hear your thoughts
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#raphael bg3#raphael#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 voice lines#you do NOT understand. how these lines have lived in my head rent free like a mindflayer tadpole since i saw them#i still don't even know if he can actually say this or if it's just a dead/untriggerable dialogue but. my god. actually hearing it finally#the desperation in his voice... AUGH#like i'm just saying.. if i could write... this line has got So Many Ideas rattling around in my head jkdsnhdlkfhjgwrfjhg#please imagine me as that prozd video where he reads that set of tags#you have no idea YOU HAVE NO IDEA im crazy im crazy im crazy etc#mine
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i know that disney is too big to boycott effectively but that shouldn't translate to "and so we should keep buying their products like normal" but rather "at the very least we should try"
#i know they have their fingers in a lot of pies but#i've just been thinking#bc i don't watch star wars or sports or marvel and i don't rlly watch tv/cable anymore#and i haven't bought a disney product or gone to the theme parks#and as far as i know disney doesn't facilitate a necessity that can't be circumvented#and at the VERY‚ very least‚ we're supposed to pressure them#the way i personally interpret that is 'avoid directly supporting them as much as you can'#bc i'm aware that you could accidently support them by proxy by buying something they've invested in#which is why we're supposed to PRESSURE rather than BOYCOTT#but i just also want to see disney downfall in my lifetime but that's neither here nor there#idk man#i was so excited to hear abt the book of bill but I don't think i could stomach#directly supporting the company that pledged $2million to the occupation project#free palestine#and don't forget that you can still sail the seven seas (or just go buy old dvds! I need to build a collection)#lol it's easy to boycott if you're broke !
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#okay but HEAR ME OUT#this one looks SO GOOD?#I love it lol#but I wish Connor was a little to the right#so I could frame them both perfectly#but this still look good#detroit become human markus#connor detroit become human#dbh markus#detroit become human connor#detroit become human#detroit: become human#dbh rk800#detroit rk800#connor rk800#rk800#dbh connor#connor dbh#dbh#markus dbh#markus rk200#dbh rk200#rk200#dbh screenshots#this would look SICK as my wallpaper tho
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
#note: i'm aware this song is about so much more than the fictional ghost story. just really enjoying that aspect of it rn#very nearly didn't do this series because some people are a bit silly about fans who heard moac as the first song. i'm owning it sdkjcksh#it wasn't the song that made me a fan as i will show in the next post but moac slaps so hard and#if you only like moac and nothing else you're still a ghestie to me <3#not my fault i was on instagram in autumn of 2022#i was going through some stuff then and listening to clips of this pretty song on random videos was something i enjoyed#didn't know the name of it or who sung it but kept hearing it at 4am when i couldn't sleep and everything was falling apart around me#when all i could do was try to escape it until the morning#i feel a bit stupid saying this but when i listen to it now and remember hearing it back then#it's like ghost was there for me even when i didn't know it#waiting for me to find them and everything their music would teach me#until the time was right#ghost31#papa emeritus iv#the band ghost#papa nihil#sister imperator#mary on a cross#user copia edits#user copia all tag#wait for the next tags i'm also tagging:#rite here rite now spoilers#i'm emotional about their messed up little family finding each other right at the very end. they never let each other go#flashing gif#<- ig
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Ok I know we all like to joke about how the Battle of the Five Armies is only a page long in The Hobbit but like. Sometimes I think about how what if Tolkien wrote it that way because he didn’t want his kids to hear about war.
#like the hobbit was supposed to be a bedtime story for his kids#and Tolkien fought in an actual war like he was on the front lines#and obviously it impacted him heavily enough to write a whole trilogy of anti-war books#but this was a story originally meant for his children to hear#so what if he left out the battle of the five armies because he didn’t want his kids to hear about it#but still left in the sad aftermath because he at the very least wanted them to know how destructive war is#I dunno I could be wrong#but sometimes I think about that#the hobbit#lord of the rings#jrr tolkien#j r r tolkien#the silmarillion#tolkien legendarium#tolkien
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"His little pet Wolverine."
"Tell me somethin'. Are you pissy because I left, or because I'm with him now?"
#emotionally secure logan who never denies being wade's pet kitty#it is a need that wade is not within hearing distance. get that bitch out the room#this dialogue needs to happen when wade is Not There#emotionally secure in a “I trust him in ways none of you could dream of comprehending”#i want them still in that stage where logan is reasonably uneasy to express his devotion in ways like this.#because it is ways like this that wade would understand. it'd dawn on that mf and he'll never let logan live it down#poolverine romantic#poolverine platonic#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#poolverine#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#deadpool 2024#deadclaws#god help us if wade hears this and hears logan NOT protest#“damn fucking RIGHT he's my BITCH bark for me pookie”#logan's going to stab him lol#“his little bitch” correct! Logan stabs you#“you're his pet” “and?”#“his wolverine” “yeah the folks at the tva agree”#“his little pet” “hello pot im kettle go fuck yourself”
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Me watching Dragons: Riders of Berk for the first time: Hm who's this? Traitor Johann? Am I hearing right?? Why are they calling him a traitor? And being so friendly with him if he's a traitor???...OH it's TRADER TRADER Johann not TRAITOR. Haha silly me can't hear right..... might have to put on subtitles
Me watching s5ep13 of rtte: ...oh
#i swear i'm not making this up#i was legit hearing characters call him traitor johann#and even after i figured out it was actually TRADER not traitor i could still hear them call him traitor#but yeah i sort of called it#so i'm taking this as a win#httyd rtte#rtte#httyd#how to train your dragon#riders of berk#httyd race to the edge#httyd rob#trader johann#race to the edge
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Queen instrumentals playing in Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death
(instrumentals arranged by Eos Counsell)
(insp. / template / BoRhap breakdown)
#good omens#good omens 2#goodomensedit#nina good omens#maggie good omens#metatron#maggie x nina#nina x maggie#v watches good omens#v posts things#this delights me#we spent so much less time with Crowley in the Bentley this season but they still found a spot for Queen#ngl i did not recognize them all on my own so if the xray feature thing is wrong. well#BoRhap is the only one i know/could hear well enough to recognize the specific part of the song#so the rest i just chose applicable lyrics#metatron one despite everything might be my fave as both wizard of oz and omelas reference#also radio ga ga supporting Nina#there are some shorter scenes where you can hear it playing but it seemed less relevant#it's always the same song for the whole episode (day?) except ep 1#also just discovered you can accidentally drag an image into the tags. this sure is a webbed site heh
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Ever get so frustrated/overwhelmed/tired that your greatest wish is to flop, face first, onto the floor and just stay there?
Yeah, that.
#tmnt#tmnt 03#my doodles#03 raph#03 mikey#yeah i'm raph rn#i just spent an entire extended weekend helping care for 2 under 10 yos#2 loud kids i swear i still hear despite them leaving 5 hours ago#if i could faceplant onto the floor for several hours without injuring myself#I would#instead i make raph do it#Which works just as well
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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Do you think Cole’s body remained in Yang’s temple? Do you think his body— without a soul to keep it together— solely began rotting away & that’s why he now has a scar? Do you think that’s why it took a minute before he came back to the others in the end of DotD? Do you think he spent that minute regaining his sense of aliveness & steeled himself before returning to his friends?
Do you think his mother felt it when he died in the temple? Do you think she tried desperately, fruitlessly to reach out to him, to comfort him & tell him everything would be okay & embrace him in the afterlife? How do you think she felt when she reached out to hug him only to still be unreachable to him?
Do you think she was proud of him when he went after master Yang with the intention to finish him for good? Was she proud when he saved the trapped students & tried to free their captor despite all the pain & injustice? Do you think she still sat with him while he regained his bearings in the mortal world again, knowing it would likely be even longer before she could possibly get a chance to be with her son again? Do you think she prayed to the FSM for him to live as long as possible despite the pain it brings her?
Does she still dance in the afterlife, even with no partner? Does she still fight for those who can’t & protect the weak? Does she still recall the Geckles & Munts fondly?
Is Lilly still proud of her son?
#random#rambles#real#rant#tee hee#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago cole#cole brookstone#ninjago lilly#lilly brookstone#master of earth#death & undeath mentioned#just thinking about them#about the silly little lego people#projecting my own mourning & sense of loss onto them#do you think Cole suffered from body dysmorphia even after being revived?#do you think he could hear his mother’s voice faintly even if he couldn’t see her?#did he know she was still there with him through it all?#did he?#I like to think he did
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it’s so funny going into monsterfucker spaces and seeing people argue about whether Venom is a tame monster crush or not and I think I figured out why ppl argue about it. I think there’s two separate levels to liking Venom and people just don’t specify which one they’re talking about
the first is what most people think of: you want Venom when they’re in a separate host and in their more humanoid form. they look like just a really tall guy, and you’ve got some monster traits involved but not quite as many as level two. this is the tame level.
the second level is when you want to be their host. you’re pulling an eddie brock— you’re fucking the slime that lives inside of you and cannot take on a humanoid form outside of yourself. it’s just a mass of black goop that lives in your organs and speaks to you in your head. this is why some people would consider Venom a more extreme monster crush
#or it could just be that the people who call them extreme are cowards#but yeah#I’ve been thinking about this a lot with the ‘craziest hear me out’ trend on tiktok#because every time it happens people debate whether venom truly counts as a ‘hear me out’ character#which I think to any sane person would be deranged because either way ur still fucking the slime monster#but I love spending stupid amounts of time thinking about the silliest internet beef I can find#and as someone who falls in the second level!! I get annoyed when ppl call venom an entry level monster crush lmao#sam’s ramblings#venom#sam talks about venom#monsterfucker#monster lover#please tell me this makes sense to other people
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FUCK Liam Payne! I will no longer support OT5 and I don’t even want a 1D reunion anymore. It’s so disgusting how so many of you defend these boys actions, but especially Liam, in light of everything that has come out. Maya Henry has every right to speak about her experiences. And it’s gross that I’m seeing literal threads and tweets upon tweets of people calling her a liar and saying all these horrible things. You’re proving Liam right! “No one will believe you anyways and the fans will always defend us!”
Is that not absolutely horrifying to yall? That this man is weaponizing his fanbase against women that he has treated poorly? And yall continue to enable him! Everything Maya said in her recent TikTok was true! Yall defend this abuser because of boy band nostalgia? What the fuck is wrong with some of yall? It makes me sick. It’s always “believe women” “believe victims” until it’s your fave, right?!
We don’t know these people! “He would never do that…” YOU DONT KNOW HIM! These parasocial relationships are going too far.
What’s scary is based on some of the stuff Maya said, I wonder if this is only the tip of the iceberg with Liam. He’s probably done so much shit we don’t even know about. Maybe even the other boys???
I know I’m ranting and no one probably cares but some of the tweets I saw defending Liam were so triggering and upsetting. Trending hashtags like #FreeLiam and #WeLoveYouLiam when a woman CONFIRMED that he abused her is just so sickening. This is why women don’t come forward. This is especially why victims of celebrities and people in power don’t come forward. Because this is how they’re treated. Maya literally even confirmed that Liam and his team have tried to silence her and didn’t want the book to come out. I just… there are no more words.
This whole situation is so triggering… I’m so angry and upset.
Fuck Liam Payne and Fuck all of yall defending him.
#Liam Payne#maya henry#one direction#tw abuse#if she is lying why isn’t he suing for defamation#because she’s not lying#Liam is an abuser and yall need to accept that#I will never support him again#and I’m side eyeing all of the boys who will continue to associate with him after this#there’s no way they or their teams aren’t seeing the accusations#and I’ve been feeling weird about Zayn too ever since the alleged incident with Gigi’s mom#and some women have implied some stuff about him too so I just#and apparently Niall is a cheater which we been knew#Louis and Harry have their own share of drama#the older I get the more the parasocialness is wearing off thank goodness#we don’t know these people#I wouldn’t be surprised if 5/5 are actually horrible people at this point#don’t even get me started on none of them speaking on Palestine#I could go on and on#this situation with Liam is just so messed up and fucking with me#like we knew since Maya’s book came out but still#to hear some of it from her own mouth is different kinda#the stories she could probably tell#I feel so bad for her and hope she is in a place of healing and this doesn’t set her back#end rant
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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