#and i care what you think. | self-promo
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monimolimnion Ā· 2 years ago
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That was probably my last fanfic for a while. Just so everyone knows. rambling in the tags for the curious.
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hamadacare-xoxo Ā· 2 years ago
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tag dump! because tumblr is not saving my tags anymore and I hope this helps and if not, well ... idk :')
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hamadacare Ā· 1 year ago
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šŸŒøšŸŒ‰šŸ›µ
happy pride month šŸŒˆšŸ’• tadashi's tags await below!
šŸ›µ #ā€˜ā €i'm not giving up on you ( ic ) #ā€˜ā €i am satisfied with my care ( ooc ) #ā€˜ā €caress the outline of my body ( headcanon ) #ā€˜ā €sweet atlas ( self ) šŸŒø paired with #tadashi art, #tadashi gifs, and #tadashi notes #ā€˜ā €this constant compromise between thinking and breathing ( musings ) #ā€˜ā €we were free to be everything we dreamed ( behavior ) #ā€˜ā €i know your image of me is what i hope to be ( prompts ) #ā€˜ā €i'll give you all i haveā€š and all i have to give ( answers ) #ā€˜ā €you donā€™t understand this yet but people need you ( anon ) #ā€˜ā €i try to picture me without you but i can't ( promo ) #ā€˜ā €unforgettable in every way and forever more ( self promo ) #ā€˜ā €itā€™s so hard to not be hard on yourself ( dash games ) #ā€˜ā €feel your stress melting away ( aesthetics ) #ā€˜ā €come in my bedā€š come back to heaven ( desires ) #ā€˜ā €you fill me with so much joyā€š you give whatever it is i need ( saved ) #ā€˜ā €i donā€™t have to dream. reality is beautiful in you ( open ) #ā€˜ā €iā€™m bad behavior, but i do it in the best way ( verse: prelude ) #ā€˜ā €dance alone to the beat of your heart ( recordings ) #ā€˜ā €i want the sound that makes my heart rush ( music ) Ā #ā€˜ā €-- ( wishlist ) Ā #ā€˜ā €brotherly advice ( psa )
šŸŒ‰ #ā€˜ā €champion onā€š ares ( hiro hamada )Ā  #ā€˜ā €guide meā€š athena ( aunt cass )Ā  #ā€˜ā €touch meā€š midas ( free ) #ā€˜ā €brighten meā€š apollo ( honey lemon )Ā  #ā€˜ā €move meā€š hermes ( go go )Ā  #ā€˜ā €charm meā€š aphrodite ( wasabi )Ā  #ā€˜ā €healthcare companion ( baymax ) āœ… #ā€˜ā €hairy baby ( mochi ) āœ…
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artapprcnticed Ā· 4 months ago
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tag dump!
#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €to think i had a light inside when i tryā€š too loo rye!ā €ā €/ā €ā €ic.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €seized by the fatal american need to have a pretty good time!ā €ā €/ā €ā €ooc.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €hands lovingly splashed with acrylics.ā €ā €/ā €ā €aesthetic.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €your guidance counselor was wrongā€š youā€™ve had a light all along!ā €ā €/ā €ā €visage.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €and i am afraid of everythingā€š especially the sun!ā €ā €/ā €ā €musings.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €everyone knows gifts are best when handmade!ā €ā €/ā €ā €asks.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €after allā€š what is an artist without a muse?ā €ā €/ā €ā €memes.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €thereā€™s a story in every brushstroke.ā €ā €/ā €ā €headcanons.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €bet you could fit a whole watermelon in there!ā €ā €/ā €ā €crack.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €youā€™re a masterpiece in progress!ā €ā €/ā €ā €promo.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €if itā€™s for youā€š iā€™ll be brave.ā €ā €/ā €ā €self-promo.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØā €ā €ā€”ā €ā €life imitates art!ā €ā €/ā €ā €starter call.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØ ā€”ā €ā €a note reads : handle with care.ā €ā €/ā €ā €open.ā €ā €Ā»#Ā«ā €ā €šŸŽØ ā€”ā €ā €a paintingā€™s worth a thousand wordsā€š you know!ā €ā €/ā €ā €saved.ā €ā €Ā»
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stjohnstarling Ā· 29 days ago
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When you think about it, the success (relatively speaking) of What Manner of Man is kind of miraculous. I have no social media presence outside of Tumblr (not for lack of trying! I just utterly do not have the knack,) no connections, and I've already given the book away for free. I simply have not written this book in a way that gets me anywhere with BookTok, Bookstagram, the Facebook communities of Kindle Unlimited readers - any of the online indie publishing infrastructure.
And yet itā€™s been wonderful! In some ways, writing this book has gone indescribably better than I ever dreamed it could. Every day I'm floored by the number of people whoā€™ve read What Manner of Man and cared enough to help it along. The little community of friends and readers this story has gathered around it is one of the best experiences Iā€™ve ever had creatively.
Now that the book is about to be irrevocably published, though, Iā€™ve become wracked with doubts. What if itā€™s still not enough? What if all the people whoā€™ve read and enjoyed the free version of the novel vanish tomorrow in a puff of smoke, and I have to start again from scratch with a more conventional publishing model? What if my subject matter is just too transgressive/queer/kinky/blasphemous and I have to pivot to writing something thatā€™s less of all of those things?Ā What if I run headlong into the woods and get torn apart by coyotes? Etc.
Listen, Iā€™m going to be so real with you guys right now. I hate all ads with a deep, personal hatred, and I loathe and despise writing self-promo stuff. Itā€™s by far the worst part of this job. But this is a very weird, risky thing Iā€™ve done, and I need to make an appeal to Tumblr for help. For this to work - for this risk to pay off -Ā I basically need enough people to 1. buy the e-book and 2. leave reviews on Amazon and Goodreads within a certain timeframe to catch the favor of the evil god known as The Algorithm. If that happens, I might be able to sell enough copies to enable me to continue doing this.
Without further ado, therefore - if:
You're tired of being sold safe, sexless, sanitized, advertiser-friendly queerness in storiesĀ 
You want more art that embraces uncompromisingly queer, transgressive desire
You view - now, more than ever, in this moment of religious backlash towards all manner of sexual expression - sexual freedom as inseparable from queer liberation
(And you want to see that explored in metaphor via a vampire seducing a priest)
Then may I present... āœØ What Manner of Man āœØ
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(Now with a beautiful cover by @beastliness!)
You can read the draft version for free here, and, if you enjoy it, acquire the completed version from your preferred retailer or DRM-free on my itchio store.
If you've made it to the end, thank you for reading all that šŸ’œ (and thank you in advance if you decide to share it!)
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huellitaa Ā· 10 months ago
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ā‹…Ėšā‚Šā€§ ą­Ø feeling uncomfy in ur own skin
ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you šŸ©·āœØ
ā”€ā”€ā˜… Ė™ ĢŸšŸŽ€ reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are
ā™” having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself
ā™” being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things
ā™” hanging around negative people or negative places
ā™” not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments
ā™” changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to
ā™” not having boundaries on how you and others treat you
ā™” staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (šŸŽ€šŸ—’ļøalso read: get comfy being uncomfy ā™”)
ā™” not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions
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šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 1. be gentle with yourself!
pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE ITšŸ«¶šŸ’–
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 2. inspiration, not comparison!
i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.
two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. šŸ«¶ (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! šŸ©·āœØ)
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 3. analysis: detective work chapter!
journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 4. channeling the mindset!
back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend šŸ©·āœØ
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 5. what would i do?
similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 6. understanding yourself!
make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you šŸ’—āœØ
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 7. pay attention!
pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.
šŸ§øš“‚ƒ ą£ŖĖ– 8. what would i do, part 2
like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. šŸ’“āœØ
finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u šŸ«¶šŸ©·
all my love šŸ’—šŸ’¬āœØšŸŽ€
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buddie-fic-recs-this-way Ā· 4 months ago
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hi!! i loved that buddie au list you posted!!! i was wondering if you had any more?
hi!! oh thanks, i'm glad you enjoyed that list! au's my most beloved lol. the other anons were specifically asking for "normal jobs" outside of firefighting, so i will make up a list of general au's below šŸ˜Š (as always, anyone else is welcome to add more!)
ā€”for anyone who want's the other list, you can find it here
wait for me there by kitkatpancakestack @kitkatpancakestack (high school au)
home is just another word for you by bi_buckrights @bi-buckrights (different first meeting/army!eddie)
kink club au series by Princessfbi @princess fbi (different first meeting/bdsm)
broĀ·ken by kristen999 @thekristen999 (different first meeting/s3 au)
keep me as your finish line by thatbuddie (talktothesky) @thatbuddie (different first meeting/gym bros)
look how they align by allyasavedtheday @littlespoonevan (different first meeting/girl!dad buck)
your dreary mondays by hammersmiths @henwilsons (different first meeting/babysitter buck)
hardest hit from feather's kiss by Princessfbi @princessfbi (different first me meeting/hockey & dance)
life is just the way you hold me by allyasavedtheday @littlespoonevan (different first meeting/professional cuddler)
what's up danger? by Princessfbi @princessfbi (different first meeting/superheroes)
close my eyes and stumble (right into your love) by HMSLusitania @hmslusitania (different first meeting/dispatcher!eddie)
i didn't know i was lonely 'till i saw your face by HMSLusitania @hmslusitania (different first meeting/couples therapy)
i want your midnights by allyasavedtheday @littlespoonevan (different first meeting/roommates)
MukbangsWithBuck by ReallySmartLadyMarieCurie (different first meeting/texting &social media)
i was supposed to sweat you out (i think there's been a glitch) by heartbeatdiaz @lonelychicago (different first meeting/firefighter academy)
stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3 @daffi-990 (different first meeting/probie firefighters)
till now i always got by on my own (i never really cared until i met you) by MonsterRae1 @monsterrae1 (different first meeting/mechaninc!eddie, roadtrip)
kiss me before it's over (If only for a minute) by bi_buckrights @bi-buckrights (baseball buddie)
racing with the brakes cut by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (fast & furious au)
i can be the subject of your dreams by BekkaChaos @bekkachaos (vampire!buck)
red life might stream again by Underhung_Aura @eddiebabygirldiaz (fantasy au)
good knight sweet prince by Spotsandsocks @spotsandsocks (medeival/badass dragon(s))
you and i'll be safe and sound by spaceprincessem @spaceprincessem (hunger games au)
you've set me running free by bigfootsmom @bigfootsmom (werewolf!eddie)
bitumen by ZainClaw @zainclaw (vampire!buck)
objects in the mirror by SevenSoulmates @sevensoulmates (soulmate au)
stitch my soul by r_holland @onward--upward (soulmate au)
what they think we are by mansikka @redlightsandicedtea (bucks jobs before lafd/fake relationship)
to be found by ZainClaw @zainclaw. (werewolf au)
and a lil self promo šŸ¤—
love's a game; wanna play? by browney3dgirl6 (murder!boyfriends)
let me lose myself by browney3dgirl6 (step up au/dancing)
he hits my heart like a homerun by browney3dgirl6 (different first meeting/firefighting academy/baseball)
come back home by browney3dgirl6 (army buddie)
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geeky-politics-46 Ā· 1 year ago
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Kinktober 2023 - Day 6
Sex Tape with Doctor Stephen Strange
"A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words"
Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!
Summary: You are feeling self-concious & down on your appearance, but Stephen has an unconventional idea of how to make you realize how sexy & beautiful you really are.
Warnings: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - body image issues, voyeurism & exhibitionism via photo & video, dirty talk, swearing, pet names, oral sex, creampie, vaginal sex, slight daddy kink, a bit of fluff & a little angst.
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You weren't even sure what had triggered your self-image issues at the moment. Honest to God, you were just sitting in bed watching a YouTube video, pursuing the sidebar recommended videos when you started comparing yourself to other people.
It didn't matter if it was just a random ad or a promo for a TV show. You started sizing yourself up to all the actresses, models, and even some normal people. No matter who it was, you felt you couldn't compare.
Your stomach was too big. Your butt was too small. You were too short. Too plain looking. Hell, sometimes you weren't even sure how you compared to average. You didn't think you were hideous, but you forever felt like the ugly duckling. Like the potential to be beautiful was there. It just never blossomed. Or, like you sabotaged being pretty by not having enough restraint to eat better or lose weight.Ā 
For once in your life, you wanted to be the bombshell. You were too weird to be the girl next door. You always fell into the quirky/cute and funny category. People fell for you once they got to know your personality, but you knew that never once had you stopped a guy dead in his tracks across the room.Ā 
In an effort to make yourself feel smaller, you dug around for your massive old sweatshirt. The one you wore whenever you were feeling sad. The material had piled up in places, and it was starting to get holes in others, but the super stretchy material still felt just as big and cozy as if it was brand new. The dark eggplant purple color was also somehow soothing compared to the mostly blacks and grays of your daily wardrobe.
You had settled back in, deep in your own thoughts, when your partner entered the bedroom. You had been with Doctor Stephen Strange for a while now. Long enough that you had more or less informally moved into the Sanctum. You got to spend more time with Stephen and didn't have to pay rent. It was a win-win. The only downside was that you couldn't hide from him when your inner demons reared up.Ā 
You didn't even realize he had been talking to you as he changed out of his sorcerer's robes and into his sweats for bed. It wasn't until he sat down in front of you and lifted your chin up to look directly at him that you realized you weren't paying any attention to a thing he was saying.Ā 
"What's wrong, sweetie?"
You hated the genuine concern on his face. He spent his days literally saving the universe, and here you were trapped inside your own spiraling thoughts.Ā 
"Nothing is wrong."
You said it while staring down at your hands. You were never good at hiding things from Stephen when you were face to face.
"Even if I wasn't a brilliant doctor, MD, and PhD, I know that's your 'I'm sad' sweatshirt. So something is definitely wrong."Ā 
You closed your eyes and shook your head, trying to jiggle loose the thoughts that were waying you down. Not wanting to waste Stephen's time with your shallow worries. Yeah, he was your boyfriend, but he had plenty more vastly important things to do than talk you off a self-image cliff.
"It's stupid, Stephen."
"Don't care. You've listened to me say stupid stuff plenty of times. This just makes us one closer to even."
You rolled your eyes at him, and you knew he wasn't about to give up. Stephen was the most stubborn person you had ever met. In fact, his stubbornness was part of why he pursued you for so long before you finally agreed to go out with him. If he was set on finding out what was bothering you, nothing would stop him until you told him.
So after another moment of trying to get him off the topic, you finally relented and told him what had you feeling down. Shrinking down farther into your sweatshirt as you spoke, fumbling for the right words. Letting the cozy fabric serve as its own kind of armor.
"I don't even know what got me thinking it, but I'm just feeling down on myself. That there just isn't anything about me physically that is special. I don't think I'm ugly, I just don't get why you bothered to even give me a second glance. Let alone what keeps you interested. You are the great Doctor Strange. You are so hot, Stephen, and I'm just me. I'm just plain. I'm chubby with stretch marks. You are gorgeous. You could literally be with the most beautiful women in the world."
You could see him almost flinch when you called yourself plain and that you doubted how enamored he was with you. Even if he knew it was only a passing thought, he never wanted you to question his love for you. Ever.
When it took a few moments for him to say anything in response, you immediately started to take it all back. Not wanting to drag him down into your funk with you.
"See, I shouldn't have said anything, I'm just having a bad night and -"Ā 
Stephen cut you off with a passionate kiss. The kind of kiss that could make you forget your own name. Cupping your face in both of his hands before pulling away from your lips to place several more small kisses on your forehead and in your hairline. Gradually adjusting so he could pull you closer and wrap his arms tighter around you.
"First of all, I love you so much you don't even know. So don't think for one second I would rather be with anyone else. Second of all, I know that you don't necessarily see what I see when you look in the mirror, and you don't even have to believe me, but you are gorgeous. Do you not see that half the other guys practically trail you around like puppies? Rogers turns bright red when you smile at him, and it's a wonder Barnes and Wilson haven't followed you home like strays yet."
That made you laugh. You did know Steve had harbored a crush on you before you started dating Stephen. Tony had let that spill one night after a party. Both Sam and Bucky were such flirts all the time with everyone. Of course, they always acted sweet on you. You assumed it was just them or their way of being nice. You would have to pay better attention next time you saw them, though. Just to see.Ā 
"If one of them does follow me home, can I keep him?"Ā 
You squinted your eyes and pouted your lips at Stephen. You loved giving him a hard time, and he loved giving you one right back.
"Absolutely not. Even if they scratch and howl at the door all night long. I'm the only one who gets to keep strays, and that only applies to America. On a good day, maybe Parker."
You giggled and shook your head in agreement. America was definitely a great addition to your little family. It did lift your spirits a little thinking about all of that, but it still didn't leave you feeling better about yourself.Ā 
Stephen could see the way you were picking at the skin on your hands. Like you were trying to pick away the self-consciousness or what you felt were imperfections. It was a habit he noticed you fell into when you were extra hard on yourself. So, in an effort to distract you and stop you from picking at your skin, he took one of your hands in both of his.
"Do you remember the day you held my hand the first time? Do you have any idea how terrified I was? I was terrified that you were suddenly going to realize how broken and ugly my hands are. How damaged I am, and realize just how below your own league you were dating. Still are, by the way, so maybe I shouldn't say anything. You are the sexiest most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. Every inch of you is incredible and perfect to me. I thought that before you even said a word to me, and getting to know you, and falling in love with you has only made me more sure. There is no one in this universe I could ever find sexier or more special."
"Tell you what, I have an idea..."Ā 
Stephen stood up from the bed, moving over to shut the bedroom door. Throwing the lock, too. Now that you had a teenager running about the Sanctum, it was better safe than sorry. Then, he pulled his phone from his pocket. Setting it on airplane mode as he walked back over to you.
"How about I show you what I see? Give you some actual physical proof of how beautiful you are? A picture is worth a thousand words. I imagine some more revealing, naughty photos would be worth even more."
You chuffed at him and raised a questioning brow at his suggestion.Ā 
"Stephen, are you seriously suggesting that I let you take naked photos of me as a way of making me feel better about myself? Are you sure that isn't just gonna make you feel better?"Ā 
His signature cheeky grin was plastered on his face, and his bright blue eyes were twinkling with mischief.
"Can't it do both? Besides, you know I've asked before for something I can enjoy when I can't have you with me, and I think you look perfect right now. Already in our bed. Already cozy and dressed for bed. Few layers to take off. This is the you I want to see when I'm not here with you."
He came over to where you were still sitting on the bed. An extra swagger in his step and a grin because of the blush you were now sporting. He started to pull teasingly at the hem of your sweatshirt with the hand he didn't have his phone in.
"Come on, take this off. I want you to see how sexy you are. I promise I will let you delete them if you want, although I certainly wouldn't mind keeping a couple for myself, but I want you to see how you look when it's just you and me. Right here, in this bed. The version of you that only I get to see, at least I do hope it's only me. A woman who puts all those supermodels and Playmates to shame. Even first thing in the morning. A goddess if one ever existed, even with bedhead and morning breath."Ā 
Layer by layer, you let Stephen slowly strip off your clothes and arrange you on the bed. His fingers and lips adoring every new inch of skin that he exposed before proceeding to take picture after picture. Lovingly caressing every spot you deemed less than perfect. Letting him talk you through pose after pose. Some were simple and basic, normal poses. Some a bit more sultry with little left to imagine. The less clothing remained, the more bold he got with your poses.Ā 
As your impromptu photoshoot went on, he also tried to distract you from feeling self-conscious about your body coming into view. Sometimes, by making you laugh. Sometimes, by getting a goofy look on his face as he just kind of stared at you. Almost awestruck.Ā 
"You really have no idea how much I fantasize about you, do you? How much of my day I spend trying not to think about you? How when we first started dating, I felt like a teenager trying to control his raging hormones because all I could think of was this. What it would be like if I got the privilege to get this beautiful, incredible woman naked in my bed. That I swore if I got you here, I would never let you leave. I hate that someone ever made you feel like you are anything less than gorgeous, whether in your ratty sad sweatshirt or all dressed up. Although, this, no clothes at all, is definitely my personal favorite."
You tried not to tear up at his genuine sweetness. You could feel your cheeks blushing at his statement, too. You buried your face into the pillow you were holding before softly turning and peeking out at him from the side. Only to find him waiting for the moment you locked eyes with him to take a photo.Ā 
In a sudden burst of confidence, you bit your bottom lip and rolled onto your back. Letting the entirety of your body be on display. Laying back and resting your head on the pillow and stretching your arms up overhead, your legs spreading on their own. You closed your eyes and arched your back as you inhaled deeply. Like you were a cat basking in the warmth of the sun.Ā 
Your mind was completely clear of all thought until you heard a stuttered breath from your lover. It was a sound you had never heard Stephen make before. It sounded like he was looking at a priceless piece of art or one of the seven wonders. He sounded like he was in awe. Like he was in awe at the sight of your body and your beauty.
You were about to dismiss his, what you were sure had to be, over embellished praise, but then you opened your eyes. You were rendered speechless by the look of utter wonder on his face as he let his cerulean blue eyes wash over every inch of you. For possibly the first time, you saw him really seeing you, and it melted any remaining self-doubt you had in that moment.
You immediately reached out to pull Stephen to you. Wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him sweetly. Rubbing your nose against his and whispering loving thanks against his lips.
"Thank you, Stephen. I love you, and even though I don't necessarily see what you see, you always make me feel beautiful. Why don't we take a few pictures together, or maybe a video or two? Maybe I want something for when you aren't here too."Ā 
Stephen's eyes darkened at the suggestion. You had your suspicion that Stephen had a bit of an exhibition kink. You had sent each other pics before, a short video clip or two, and sexted all the time. You knew the idea of filming the two of you fucking would intrigue him. A wicked smile found it's way to his face.Ā 
"Oh sweetheart, you have no idea how many times I've thought of you asking that or that I've thought of asking. Are you really okay with filming us fucking? Of course it's just for the two of us. Sorcerer's honor. "Ā 
Stephen started trying to fiddle with the phone, trying to figure out the best way to set it up to film the two of you. Finding it hard to concentrate after you started leaving kisses on his neck. Stopping to bite and suck at the spot just below his earlobe before continuing to whisper his darkest desires in his ear.
"Well, Stephen, actually the idea does get me a little hot. Maybe if the video turns out really good, a few seconds or minutes can get leaked to a naughty site or two. Anonymously, of course. I don't want to share you with any other woman, but I wouldn't mind showing off all the ways I worship you. Let everyone see how lucky I am. Maybe get some outside opinions of how we look together."Ā 
Stephen's eyes practically rolled back in his head at the thought. He never would suggest it himself, but he kind of loved the sound of that. Of the world getting to see how good the two of you looked together. Of seeing how well you both fit together. How your bodies were made for each other.
He scrambled off the bed using the pile of books on the dresser to create a tripod to set up the phone. Hitting record and making sure the bed was centered in the frame before coming back to join you in the sheets again. He used his magic to strip himself of his clothes. If you two were going to make a sex tape, he was gonna put some extra showmanship in it.
You couldn't help but giggle as you reach your arms out towards him. Stepben didn't waste a minute before he started crawling up your body. Teasing and nipping at your bare skin and making sure to snuggle and rub his goatee against you. Your hands immediately grabbed in his dark brown hair, loving how soft and full it felt in your fingers.Ā 
As your lips connected, you both groaned in pleasure. Your bodies grinding and rubbing. Letting your hands roam all over Stephen's body now that you had plenty of him to touch. You could feel Stephen's cock already erect between you. Truth be told, taking those photos of you had essentially acted as foreplay for him. He was ready to go by the time he was setting up the camera.Ā 
You moaned when you felt his hard shaft slide against the crease of your hip, so close to your sex that was starting to ache for him. Your legs reflexively spread even more on the large bed, and your nails scraped down Stephen's sides.Ā 
"Is there something you want, baby? Tell Daddy what you need."
A sly smile on his face as he spoke. Loud enough to make sure the camera heard. Descending back on you and starting to kiss your neck. Sucking a patch or skin into his mouth hard enough to ensure you would bear a mark the next day.
Your brain finally coming back into focus when he playfully bit the same sensitive spot. His bright blue eyes met yours, and he gave you a cheeky wink.Ā 
"Come on, pretty baby. Don't get all shy on me now. Not after you let me take all those naughty pictures of you. Plus, this part was your idea, after all. So you better speak up."
A soft groan pulled from your throat as you arched your back and ran your hands up his strong arms. Letting your fingernails scrape along his shoulders. Leaving little red scratches marking him as yours.Ā 
"Want you, Stephen. Want you to fuck me. Pretty please, Stephen. Fuck me like only you can, baby."
He rewarded you with a deep kiss, letting his teeth nip at your bottom lip before he started working his way down your neck. Stopping to whisper a "that's my good girl" in your ear before continuing down to your collarbones. Raising his voice once again so it would be audible on the video when he started speaking again.
"You know you are the only one I want to fuck right? This is the only body that gets me this fucking hard. Your's is the only pretty little pussy I dream about filling up every chance I get. Want you full of my cum all the time. Want everyone to know you're mine."Ā 
You felt over the moon as Stephen started to kiss his way down your body. Stopping and spending a little bit of extra attention every time he hit a spot that elicited a gasp or moan. Making you arch your back to give him access to every inch of bare skin you could.
He momentarily popped back up to kiss your lips. Suddenly taking your hand in his and lowering it so you were cupping his hard length. Letting his hips rut forward as you started to eagerly massage his hard cock. Already moving to sit up, anticipating taking him in your mouth, only for him to push you back down on the bed.
"Nope, I'm not done with you, baby, lay back. Just wanted you to feel how hard you got me. Feel how much taking those naughty photos of you turned me on? And they are all mine to enjoy, just like my cock is all yours to enjoy."
With that, he promptly began working his way back down your body. Coming to rest between your thighs, pulling your legs up over his shoulders. Leaving small nips on the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh and rubbing his facial hair against your skin to tease you.
A soft "Stephen, please!" escaped from your lips as you impatiently waited for his lips and tongue to work their magic on you. Feeling your hips thrust on their own when you felt him blow against your wet cunt. Making your sex flutter and clench. One of his favorite sights.Ā 
"Make sure you don't hold back any of those pretty noises darling, want to make sure everyone can hear. Look at the camera as I eat you out, baby."Ā 
You followed his instructions and let your head turn to the side. Keeping your eyes open as you stared into the lens. Trying to fight the inkling of self-consciousness tugging at the back of your mind.Ā 
Those thoughts vanished completely the moment you felt Stephen's warm tongue make its first pass through your folds. All you could focus on was the feeling of his mouth on you. The scratch of his goatee against your most sensitive spots. He was taking his time. Lavishing your cunt with long licks and sucking kisses.
Stephen was a perfectionist, and that translated into every aspect of his life. Including sex. His photographic memory helping to make sure he knew exactly what way to lick and suck at your pussy to bring you to climax in record time. Only using his fingers on occasion. He could get you there with his mouth alone. Tonight was clearly going to be one of those nights.
Your back arched as he suckled on your clit. Keeping your gaze locked on the camera lens. Making sure to give Stephen the sights and sounds he wanted for your video. A long moan falling when you felt his tongue thrusting in and out of you. Hitching your legs up higher and farther apart so he could go deeper while letting your hips start to rut against his face.
As soon as he could feel you getting close to orgasm, Stephen pulled away and pounced on you once again. Wasting no time before he started to slowly thrust his hard cock into you. His lips biting at your neck.
He growled when you whimpered at the feeling of his cock bottoming out inside you. Holding perfectly still and letting you start to squirm beneath him. Wanting you to beg him to move.Ā 
"Tell me what you want. Want you to say it again. Say it to the camera, sweetheart. Tell them why you're whimpering."
Your face now contorted into a pout as you tried so hard to get any sort of friction. Stephen's hips pushed flush to yours, holding you firmly in place.
"Want you to fuck me, Stephen. Need you to fuck me hard. Make me feel good, daddy. Please make me cum. Please."
He smiled and kissed you deeply. Bringing his hands to cup your face and giving you another moment of sweet intimacy before he gave you what you wanted. Pulling away and pulling your legs up over his shoulders. Scooting you just a little so the camera would be able to see his cock stretching and filling you. Once he had you right where he wanted you he began thrusting.Ā 
"You asked for it, sweetheart. You turn me on so fucking much. This is just gonna be the first time I make you cum tonight. I'm not gonna stop until you feel like a goddess. My goddess."Ā 
You reached up to intertwine you fingers with his as he started fucking you harder. Leaning forward so your ass was slightly lifted up off of the bed and his tip was pummeling that sweet spongy spot on your front wall. Making you clench around him each time he hit it. Your voice coming out in little squeaks and the sound of skin slapping punctuating Stephen's movements.Ā 
You could already feel your orgasm building when Stephen moved to bring one hand down to begin rubbing at your clit. Pulling his cock out long enough to smear some of your wetness on the swollen bundle of nerves. Your cunt immediately clenching around him as he started tracing small circles there with his thumb.Ā 
"That's it, my love. Can feel you getting close. You better cum soon because I'm not gonna be able to hold on much longer. Wanna fill you up every day. Mark you as mine. Inside and out. Fuck, baby, I'm gonna cum."
Stephen's own dirty talk getting the best of him. His head dropping down to watch his cock slamming in and out of your drenched cunt. Your pussy gripping tight around him sending him over the edge. His thrusts getting faster and his fingers on your clit mirroring his hips.
He let out a deep groan as he started cumming inside you. The feeling of his warm thick cum filling you triggering your own orgasm. Your cunt drenching his cock and his cum filling you completely. Your moans mingling in harmony with Stephen's. Your hands that were still clasped gripping each other tighter.Ā 
Stephen's body falling onto yours and your lips meeting for slow, sweet kisses as your highs continued to ebb and flow. The sensations slowly fading as you came back down together. The feeling of Stephen's weight on top of you lulling you closer to sleep. All worries and neuroses disappearing and receding back into the depths of your mind.Ā 
You were with Stephen, and Stephen loved you exactly as you were. He only had eyes for you, and he would love you no matter what. Even on days when you couldn't see your beauty, you knew he would help you to see it. Even when you didn't love yourself, he would give you enough love for both of you.
Eventually, Stephen rolled to the side and pulled you with him. Settling you under the covers and holding you close. Pressing kisses all over your face as you floated in the twilight space between waking and sleep. Not moving or pulling away until your breath settled into a steady rhythm that told him you were close to sleep.
Then Stephen stood up and went over to the phone. Stopping the recording and bringing the phone back over to the bed. Setting it down on his nightstand and purposely not setting his usual morning alarm. He wanted to sleep in with you tomorrow. He would deal with Wong later.
You were too exhausted to review the products of your photoshoot right now, but the next time you were feeling down or self-conscious, Stephen would be ready to show you just how beautiful you really were. If you still didn't believe him, maybe he would bring up the idea of an outside opinion like you suggested. You would have the world drooling over you, and he would get to gloat that you were all his.
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Stephen Strange Taglist: @starkiller-queen @glitterylokislut @verycollectivecreator @chatampr @maskmare931 @lovecleastrange @wheredafandomat @mkixx @evelynrosestuff @katefullerrr @littlepinknightmare @foofarny @stygianoir @moonroyalt @saturnsbabe69 @blaxdet @blackrose-92 @ironstrange1991 @ghxul-x @nancy-thompsons @wolfatheartandsoul @dangerouslittlefairy @n0obmaster-69 @oliveoilthoughts @onebatch--twobatch @yourmajesty13 @blondekel77 @lil-sweater-slut @gwephen @taramaria @sinceimetyou @slashersrus @coeurgrenaty @cc13723things @just--a-magpie @supervengerslock @strangelockd @dont-feel-so-good-peter @kingsmanperfecthartwin @ghost-lantern @inlovewithloki16 @thefalconandthewinterwidowshield @itssmaugtheterrible @katherinemaximoff @veryfancydoilies @cute-angi @mochacake2016 @prix19 @alexfanficnook @anotheroddfish @namor-is-the-way @xourownsidee @baes-x @dreamingsmile @negar77rd @imaginesfreetotake @ppatricia34me @rougepetale @tis-vereon @divinearchangel @sherlux @hiddlechive @ginnykate @thatesqcrush @friendofplenti @yuugenmomo @holdmyowos @the-royal-petals @lokislov3 @captaincarmel164 @lucimorningst4r @mydearalmira @petalcranberry @singhfae @emotionsareforuglypeople @trappedinlimbo15 @veryladyqueen @icytrickster17 @kentucky-criedfricken @briefhandsstudenttoad @calamityismyspecialty @sinisterstrange616 @patbrdac @trojanaurora @azu21 @massivehahaao3tree @strangesgirls @tobios-shawty @evelyn-kingsley @rmoonstoner
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kisseobie Ā· 8 months ago
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HellošŸ«£šŸ«£, can you do a piwon reaction to you asking them to pick out your nail design? Maybe with inspo pics too?šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
p1harmony picks your nail set!
pairings: p1harmony x reader
warnings: suggestive (just jiung)
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a/n: hii!! i hope u enjoy!! my imessage is being weird so i was originally gonna do fake texts but .. that didnā€™t work so this is plan b! enjoy!!
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Ā° . ā€ keeho
he adores the fact that you are never without a new nail set, and is always secretly hoping that one day youā€™ll ask him what your next set should be, so when you do, heā€™s super excited! definitely turns it into a very serious task, pulls up pinterest and makes an entire collaborative board with you so you two can look through different options. heā€™s really into airbrushed aura nails he saw, and you two settle on those! likes the minimalistic design with the almond shape, and takes you to your appointment (and pays too!!) just because heā€™s so excited that his input mattered to you. def posts a picture of your hands interlocked on his insta story right after your nails are complete :3
Ā° . ā€ theo
i think theo would be a little lost on what exactly you would like, so he would ask you to show him a few examples of what youā€™re looking for! but it definitely boosts his ego that you asked him for his opinion, even if he doesnā€™t know much about nail trends. prefers shorter nails with cute designs, so he really pushes for little strawberry nails! thinks youā€™ll look so cute with them, asks you to send him pictures as soon as they are done <3 shows off the photos to the rest of the boys, bragging that your design was his choice (they literally could not care less). when he sees them in person, he definitely examines them and kisses each one of your fingers! wants to be the only person choosing your sets from now on!!
Ā° . ā€ jiung
a self-proclaimed nail expert himself, jiung is very excited for the opportunity to choose your new nail design! heā€™s so cute, he already has a bunch of ideas that he didnā€™t even need to search upā€¦ i think he would love seeing you in baby pink though, so baby pink sparkly french tips with a glitter outline is what he chooses! you are a bit hesitant about the size and square shape, but he sheepishly tells you he likes when you scratch his back and it inflates his ego when the marks stay etched on his skin for the remainder of the week :p since ji loves nail polish, i think he would match with you!! picks out some baby pink nail polish and glitter that matches your nails and is so so excited to surprise you with them :DD in the future, he continues to coordinate his nail colors with your sets
Ā° . ā€ intak
he 100% would get so cheesed if you asked him to help you, makes him feel like you want to carry a piece of him wherever you go. i think he would love cool designs with stars and silver accents, and since his main killinā€™ it outfit is red, he asks if you could pretty please get red stars with silver french tips. like kyo, he clears his schedule to go with you. i can totally see him sitting in the empty chair next to you and asking a bunch of questions during the process which would no doubt annoy your nail tech lol.. but itā€™s cute that heā€™s so invested!! definitely takes selfies in his killinā€™ it promo outfit with your hands all over his face and neck :p
Ā° . ā€ soul
lovessss cute little characters, so i think he would give you a lot of free reign on the design and shape itself, but would just want little characters on them. when you show him a bunch of ideas with characters from domo to korilakkuma, he gets very indecisive and keeps changing his mind, but he eventually decides on pastel rilakkuma nails!! is so giggly when you show him, spends forever looking them over and commenting on how cute they are :( from now on, you always surprise him with sets that are always adorned with a silly character he adores <3
Ā° . ā€ jongseob
i think seob would really like beachy nails! think yamanba gyaru but more minimal, with bright colors and silly little plumeria flowers. tells you he doesnā€™t mind anything but would love if you tried longer almond nails, because he always loves when you scratch his head at night hehe .. heā€™s another member that would take you to the salon himself and pay for you (just like in my fic jasmine!!) and wouldnā€™t let you argue with him. is just honestly very happy to spend any time with you at all so heā€™s so excited to take you to get your nails done, and even more excited that heā€™ll be getting those head scratches he loves so much !!
inspo in order: keeho, theo, jiung, intak, soul, jongseob
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tags: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @sosaverse @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror @watamotee33 @dreamer1299 @jixnnsie @wonootnoot @yukx-x047
Ā© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!
ā¤ļøŽā€‰Ķ ą½²ą½“*:Ā·
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girldriveroscar Ā· 16 days ago
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Parasocial Oscar and Landoscar analysis ahead u have been warned.
Contextually, 2020 Oscar was finally pushing open the door to the world of F1 as a potential driver (Mark Webber management, Renault Sport Academy, Eurocup Championship, etc.) and that fact combined with still being a schoolboy, surrounded by mates who actively followed his career and were his personal hypemen definitely made Oscar a bit of a hotshot to gossip about. Sure, he's kinda a nerd who games and races but also he's got great grades and a pretty girlfriend and he's coworkers with max fewtrell, best friend of emerging F1 heartthrob, lando norris, so really the cards were lining up in his favor. And yet none of that success (both socially, as it appeared to his peers, and personally, career-wise) went to Oscars head. Rather, he oozed this dorky endearing confidence that planted the seed of cool self-certainty that'd follow him into his F1 career. I mean from the very start, we can witness how Oscar took everything in stride, building a strong sense of self over easily inflating his ego.
This got kinda long so the rest goes under the cut for organizing sake!
Then, observing his Prema years, Oscar was newly thrust into a whole new team vibe. And in response, he outwardly tried time and time again to be a team player with the hazing/embarrassing bits (insert multiple clips of him dancing and singing despite initial hesitation, easily accepting very personal race vlogging into his daily regime, making hundreds of silly gifs for every occasion (heavily encourage everyone to take a look bc there's genuinely so many))
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NGL watching Prema vids was what initially helped me understand Oscar better/made me like him bc we get the most clear display of his lack of ego. There seemed to be a general understanding coming out of this content: the media took an exorbitant amount of energy and wasn't at all conducive to developing his racecraft. buuuuuut regardless Oscar maintained an attitude of these people are my closest thing to family out here, they care about my wellbeing and my success and god damn it if they wanna take photos in matching Christmas PJs then hand over the damn PJs. And that was all of course bolstered by his growing success and notoriety on twitter. Just as he'd established a strong sense of self from the very start, now his public identity took it's shape in a way that felt honest and lifelike <Insert Clip of Angelina pointing out his messy clothes and Piastri Shrug>. He managed to carve out a niche amongst the Prema cast and it's not that he needed to be funny but if people memed him and laughed then hey if it gets me popularity I'm all for it.Ā 
Honestly when people dog on Oscar, saying he's got no personality it makes me crazy because it's the total opposite! I think the charm in observing his growth from Renault Academy to Prema to F1 is catching how quickly he established an unchanging confidence in not only his racecraft and wheel knowledge but also in his personality- and how that personality shines through in subtle ways. When Lando does his negging, everyone just heard Oscar sing for the first time in McLaren, am I a funny teammate, Oscar takes it in stride. He doesn't blush, nor take insult, because he has no complex - he's confident about who he is, even if people don't find it amusing. Oscar knows he's not too shy to burst into song, it's just that there isn't anyone who needs him to, so why should he? He knows Lando doesn't think he's funny, but it's not like he was trying to be anyways, so what's it matter? On the flip side too, the rare times we get an outward expression of his confidence are GEMS. The Pool Promo, where he *unprompted* shows off with a trickshot and wins, THIS VIDEO where he eggs on Lando to call lies on his confidence, calling out Carlos/Lance when they interfere with his driving, does it please you greatly that you've won before Lando, is max the best driver on the grid, the whole cricket video, etc etc.
(LOL because I write about fashion outside of this blog and someone might appreciate the connection, in my brain I kinda liken Lando and Oscar's respective confidence to loud/quiet luxury. Lando's a OOAK Hot Pink Birkin and Oscar is a Helmut Lang black slack lolol) (Not a diss btw both items have social connotations/importance that we could unpack for hours but I digress)
I digress I digress I digress. Going back to the Prema assigned humiliation rituals. In a way I think Oscar's ethos regarding embarrassment/lack of ego heavily simplifies down to this story. His mom goes on to explain how after winning an award she gave him a big kiss in front of the whole school and, contrary to how most kids would be embarrassed or angry at the sudden loud affection, Oscar just brushed it off like no matter! "He's just resigned to it" <- literally the most OP81 psychoanalysis of all time thank you Nicole Piastri. For Oscar, the implied embarrassment he should be feeling does not register, as he simply receives love without any grievances, and hasn't the mind to worry how everyone else perceives this exchange. I swear I have a point pls stick with me. So, reiterating, this is the Prema treatment, sitting in front of the camera, Oscar resigns to producing content that's at least moderately enthusing because at the end of the day, the love for his team and the people he's working with is what's worth sacrificing mystery or "cool-ness" for. And even that's a bit of a misstep because I don't think he views it as a sacrifice so much as 'being perceived' doesn't fall on his radar of important things at all. Which! is what makes Oscar SO effortlessly nonchalant in an objectively cool way! (like this is where the more surface-level likening to Kimi Raikkonen <certified Ice Man> comes from) (The real Oscar freaks know he's not any cooler than his indifference and he's actually an incredibly endearingly awkward guy. He just doesn't take himself too serious, idk you get it.)
Now continuing down this timeline, F1 Oscar, who's got exponentially more eyes on him and a humongous team of people who's names he is still learning- comparatively, who is the one guy he can definitely remember the name of. In this transfer of teams and people, all this ā€œI love you even if its kinda objectively embarrassing for meā€ energy Has to go somewhere and where else would it go than the one guy whoā€™s name he can remember; the one guy in the same exact position as him; the one guy who heā€™s followed and idolized since 14! YEAH YEAH. And now Lando himself is hardly an extrovert like Oscarā€™s old prema friends/coworkers, so instead of yes I'll do a stupid dance so you can have good content and make your job easier Oscar -Acts of Service- Piastri has kinda got the most easy job in the world of loving Lando ā€”I just want to make eye contact and know you hate/love this as much as I doā€” Norris. Like they genuinely match each others freaks in the sweetest introverted mutually beneficial way.
When you really dissect Oscar's Prema content, heā€™s equally expressive to everyone! He stares holes in the heads of Fred/Logan, doubles over laughing at Arthur/Robert, blushes over Angelina's teasing; it's a sanction of his care and attention divulged to each person in his sphere, one slice of the Oscar cake. Now take Lando? He's been treated to the whole Oscar Cake with a side of ice cream and a cherry on top. Like imagine if you had 10 glasses of water and you poured all of that water into one glass. Suddenly itā€™s overflowing and thereā€™s water all over the table and the mess is apparent to everyone and the waiter is bringing over towels and someone's grandma just fucking slipped in the puddle and there's a baby crying and- right? right. Oscarā€™s love language that was distributed across an entire team of people now has nowhere to go but Lando. And not only is it love in respect to the game, it's I've known you years before you knew me, I fell asleep to your voice, watched you grow into the man you are today type love. Oscar is folded at the waist drowning Lando, staring at him with the force of 10x one man's ration of love and we are all god's honest witnesses! Yea no wonder he want that cookie so effing bad tf!!!!!
And itā€™s such a compelling dynamic because Oscar has been ready to transfer that quiet affection since the very beginning (had old pics of Lando on his phone up through his first year of F1 rightttt right) and since the start of it all, we just get front row seats to Lando reacting to this unconditional respect/love. WHICH IS EVEN GREATER FOR THE FREAKS AND THE WEIRDOS BC LANDO IS SUCH A WEIRDO AND HIS COMPLEXES TOWARDS OSCAR ARE SO COMPLICATED. Basically like. idk. I love when they beef bc Oscar is like I love u I love u I love u and landos like idgaf Iā€™m cheating on u actually no Iā€™m sorry come here I will give u silly nicknames reserved for only me to call u, but actually fuck u and ur talent Iā€™m not spraying u w champange but also oh my god Iā€™m a mess come be freaky w me about it,,,,, the put Lando Norris in a scenario versus his own mind agenda is great. (Bringing back the og tag to just say not ln4 hate, i just like to observe him like a bug in a jar and shake the jar hard bc he is a millionaire and my silly wabbit who I experiment on) anyways. Yea. Lando is complex. Oscar is cool bc he doesnā€™t care if he is cool and yet simultaneously he's so uncool bc having a crush on a guy for 8 years before being his mclaren arranged failhusband has never been easier nor sexier. OKAY. NO MORE. for now.
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jeonscatalyst Ā· 2 months ago
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Damn, after your last few posts with anons, it just became clear to me how much stuff Tae doesnā€™t know until he finds out in the group chat. And Iā€™m sure itā€™s not like the other members are hiding it from him specifically (except maybe when JM didnā€™t ask him to go to Jeju because he thought Tae was too busy with solo promos). Iā€™m sure all 7 have so much going on that itā€™s hard to keep up with the schedules of each member all the time.
But Taeā€™s the only one who bothers to show up (or arrange to be included) after finding out about a certain schedule? Whether itā€™s AYS or Suchwita or a Weverse live? Is it always and exclusively for JK?
Iā€™m not a Tkkr, I promise. Iā€™m very much in the Jikook camp. But I just cannot decide what to make of Taeā€™s behaviour. I still donā€™t know if he is a narcissistic attention-seeker and loves to feed the cult or if he is majorly misunderstood and just has intense fomo and JK is his only dongsaeng so he can get away with popping up unannounced.
Every time he went on live for two minutes seemingly just to drop JKā€™s name makes me think the former.
When he said to Jimin that he was hurt Jimin didnā€™t tell him about the Jeju trip, it makes me think the latter.
But then when he pops into a random ARMY chat to drop a selfie, it seems like heā€™s being self-centered again.
I just canā€™t figure him out.
Hey anon,
ā€œBut Taeā€™s the only one who bothers to show up (or arrange to be included) after finding out about a certain schedule? Whether itā€™s AYS or Suchwita or a Weverse live? Is it always and exclusively for JK? "
I think one would only come to this conclusion if they limit things to chapter two and this is also a sort of cherry picking or tunnel vision because before chapter two, we never ever really saw Tae show up for anything of Jkā€™s and he did show up for other members like Jhope and Namjoon when they had their solo shoots.
I think in chapter two, Tae was trying to do things differently. During seasons greeting 2022, he said his gift to members was going to try to spend more time with them more because that is something he didnā€™t really do before. Before the solo era Tae mostly spent his off time with his friends outside of work and his wooga members so I guess he wanted to do things differently in chapter two and that is why we saw him actually taking the initiative to spend time with members. He invited Jk to hang out with his friends, also invited Hobi to hang out with his friends, went to support Yoongi during his concert, made time to hang out with Jimin and invited him to his fanmeet and also joined Jimin in his video for CTT. I think he also visited Namjoon or something because he posted some shoes that were Namjoonā€™s or something so in my opinion, Tae was making a concious decision to actually spend time with his members which is something he didnā€™t do before.
Yea maybe he seemed a little more focused on Jk maybe by chance or design but it clearly doesnā€™t mean anything more than that he loves and wanted to support his friend because if they were together, he wouldnā€™t constantly have to find out about Jkā€™s schedules from the groupchat would he?
ā€œBut I just cannot decide what to make of Taeā€™s behaviour. I still donā€™t know if he is a narcissistic attention-seeker and loves to feed the cult or if he is majorly misunderstood and just has intense fomo and JK is his only dongsaeng so he can get away with popping up unannounced.ā€
To be honest with you I canā€™t say I know either but I donā€™t think he ever had any alterior motives. Maybe it was just something as simple as him wanting to spend time with Jk or maybe he is just misunderstood. I also think that some of his actions when it came to Jk were intentional but not because he was trying to feed the cult but maybe because he wanted to show that he and Jk were in a much better place. I think Tae cares about how fans perceive his relationship with the members and how fans see him as a person. I mean he admitted to going into a fan group chat, pretending to be a fan and saying bad things about himself to see what the fans would say. He also spends a lot of time within fan spaces as over the years, he has posted memes, pictures and fanarts that he could have only seen by being neck deep in fan spaces so I think it is clear that he is very aware of the things fans say so maybe he wanted fans to know that him and Jk were in a much better place after their talk on ITS. I could be wrong about this but that is how I interpreted some of his actions.
Also if you know Tae, you know that he has moments when he tends to fixate on particular members. There was a time when his fixation was Jimin. He would go on fancafe and talk about Jimin alot, make posts that could be viewed as romantic about Jimin and then immediately delete them, his weverse is packed with pictures and videos of Jimin, he responded to fans who were asking about Jimin etc. What he was doing with Jungkook in the solo era wasnā€™t new tbh because anyone who has been in the fandom long enough and paid attention to Vmin, knows that Tae used to go crazy lol.
He is an enigma and could be very difficult to read sometimes but I donā€™t think there is ever any malice behind his actions.
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alexturntable Ā· 2 months ago
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Replying to ur post didnā€™t scratch my brain enough on how insanely compelling the Charles and Carlos dynamic is to me irl so here I am spamming ur inbox (apologies)
Charlesā€™ tendency towards emotional avoidance is patently a defence mechanism against vulnerability. One thing that really compels me though is the rare moments when Charlesā€™ defensive wall drops and you get his true emotions shining through
Itā€™s most obvious when heā€™s happy with his race results (Monaco, Monza). But Iā€™d say itā€™s most heartwarming when it peeks through every so often when Charles relaxes enough to half-forget the camera. Iā€™m thinking the kiss towards Carlos in the rayban shoot. The time when they decorated Christmas cookies on the sofa in the sun. The first fiorano music challenge
In those moments Charles gets giggly and shy and has a wickedly impatient sense of humour, but above all he gets a really really fond look on his face
Which is why Iā€™ve never understood people who say they arenā€™t friends and are playing it up for the cameras. All evidence points towards Charles putting up emotional walls for the camera rather than acting it up
Anyway, f1 shipping aside, they are friends your honour and they are fond
I love the way youā€™ve analyzed this, and the examples youā€™ve chosen are spot on, because these are little things Iā€™ve also noticed along the way but when you look at them in this context you see how much the behavior fits with their characters.
Charles is so good at putting up the nonchalant guy facade and hyping himself up. Every challenge theyā€™ve ever done is always Charles saying heā€™s the best and no one can beat him and when he ends up losing heā€™s like oh Iā€™m so bad at this but he laughs it off. There are so many little moments when heā€™s with Carlos where you can see the fond look ā„¢ and itā€™s so special and heartwarming.
Carlos knows heā€™s good at a lot of things but you can see more clearly that he has some self doubt and that heā€™s still working on not being so ā€œsoftā€ by trying to ā€œbite and not get bittenā€ but itā€™s so against his character to be mean heā€™s such a softie!! And thatā€™s why he wishes he could care less, like what he thinks Charles can do better.
People who say theyā€™re not friends overestimate how much these guys can act because trust me they canā€™t, just watch any of the scripted promo videos (shell) and youā€™ll see.
This was so fun! I love analyzing them so much, you can always talk to me about them!!
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james-spooky Ā· 2 months ago
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Eddie Diaz and the Phenomenon of Queer Representation
A post to organise my thoughts ahead of the rest of the season and to really get this off my chest! (Spoilers for 9-1-1) (Itā€™s long and I will inevitably have more thoughts about things I failed to mention)
Within queer representation in media, thereā€™s a certain expectation that audiences have been conditioned to accept, including the omission of any representation at all. This has led to many non-canon ships being popularised in fandoms in an attempt to obtain agency surrounding queer media. One of these such head canons is Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 who is largely speculated to be gay. This is sort of an essay and sort of me rambling on.
Picking up in Season 8, Episode 1, Eddieā€™s been trying for three months so keep his shit together and try to stay in contact with his son in the wake of the whole emotionally-cheating-with-the-doppelgƤnger-of-your-deceased-wife situation. I think the birthday zoom was really the beginning of his breakdown. To keep all of this inside him it way too much for someone to handle. He is going to break at some point with the stress. Not only that but as others have pointed out, Helena and Ramon are not actively participating in the reconnection of their son and their grandchild. This ties into their long-term goal which has been present across multiple seasons to be Christopherā€™s sole caregivers, without any acknowledgment of Eddie. To me it looks like heā€™s been trying to put on a brave face for his kid and sort of suppress everything (as he always does) to try and be a better father. But you canā€™t be that person if youā€™re not taking care of yourself; not necessarily ā€œputting yourself firstā€, not in a selfish way but genuinely having self-love and a certain assuredness, something which Eddie doesnā€™t appear to have pinned down. I can definitely see him being introspective this season and forced to deal with quite literally everything thatā€™s ever happened to him and to actually process that and who he really is. Ergo, realising his sexuality.
Tim said that the episode six thing was one of his favourite moments in the show, is actively excited for us to see it, is the episode where the ā€œreason for the moustacheā€ is ā€œexplicitly statedā€; genuinely what else could this be other than gay Eddie. I cannot think of a reason personally. Other than ā€œreligionā€ which I donā€™t is a path theyā€™d go down; I cannot come up with another reason for why theyā€™re being so vague about it.
This is exactly the same thought process I went through pre-s7. I wrote down all my thoughts and analysis on those articles and Buckā€™s arc, coming to the conclusion that there could be no other outcome other than Buck being bisexual. Before s7 there were lots of articles about Buck and they all had that same sort of strange wording surrounding his storylines that season. E.G: ā€œa season of self-discovery for Buckā€, describing him getting off that ā€œhamster wheelā€ of failed relationships. Whether or not you believe that he has achieved that is beside the point; the point is that, the vague quality to them which alluded his storyline going in a particular direction is happening yet again. Ryan has the exact same thing happening now, if not more with the majority of the seasonā€™s promo being his moustache. This is pattern recognition if Iā€™ve ever seen it. Truly, due to the sheer amount of promo and interviews there have been, in my mind I donā€™t see another reason for why this would be, other than Eddie having a large and pivotal storyline this season.
Itā€™s not just ā€œabout buddieā€. When people pin down a characterā€™s sexuality to purely the ship theyā€™re in, it annoys me because itā€™s genuinely about the storyline and Eddies character arc. Yes, these headcanons have stemmed from the ship and obviously if they were to go down this route, the ship would most likely be a by-product of this discovery, but itā€™s not the priority. It may be an end goal, but what about the journey? Itā€™s more than ship wars or trying to one up each other. For me personally, it would be so beneficial to his character to go in this direction. Not even just for his character but for the show and representation in general. What other show on a major network would have a character whoā€™s been on the show for multiple seasons, had relationships with women, a wife, a child, religious traumas, PTSD, grief, catholic guilt and then having a gay awakening in their eighth season? None. How many have had strong platonic male relationships? A lot. Honestly, I donā€™t interact with those people who whittle down Eddie having a queer realisation or the possibility of Buddie being canon as ā€œerasing platonic male friendshipsā€. I simply donā€™t buy into that and my reaction towards those people who use that argument is just ā€œPoint me towards a show where (the written above happens)ā€ and you canā€™t. Because it hasnā€™t happened. Not only that but queer ships in mainstream shows are notorious for ā€œqueer-baitingā€ and not ā€œgoing canonā€. I could name numerous shows where this has happened all to the dismay of a large percentage of the audience. In my experience in fandoms with popular queer ships, (majority mainstream shows with non-explicitly queer characters) I cannot think of a single time where they have been confirmed in canon. To me, this would be a huge step in the right direction for queer media as a whole. Of course, we cannot deny the massive impact that Buck being canonically bisexual last season has had and I commend ABC, the writers and Tim for bringing that to our screens. It was so heartfelt and truly amazing to watch. However, in terms of fandom and popular ships, itā€™s a little different. Iā€™m in no way disregarding bi Buck, but rather exploring the impact that having a popular queer ship becoming canon would have on other media and the audience in general.
As queer audiences, we are so often let down with the directions that tv shows and film take in regard to their queer-coded characters. Itā€™s become normalised to expect disappointment over seeing a popular pairing actually become ā€œcanonā€ within the text itself.
Iā€™m aware that queer-baiting is definitely different than simply having queer-coded characters, however the two often come hand in hand. There is a misconception, in my opinion that ā€œgoing woke is going brokeā€. I think that yes, having queer elements or characters in media definitely effect the reception and reaction, especially online from the general audience. This has happened time and time again and because the negative reaction is so loud, it drowns out any of the positive ones, forcing media companies to pull back in fear of losing money or audience. They want to be seen as ā€œimpartialā€ as a large percentage of audiences are bigoted but by removing any conversation surrounding queer representation in media, it immediately becomes biased and panders towards the people who shout the loudest. Queer people know all too well that on social media, it can be hard to avoid the rampant bigoted views that are shared so violently towards marginalised communities. Companies are so fearful of the backlash towards queer characters, that they wonā€™t even have them at all, regardless of whether it would be classified as ā€œgoodā€ or ā€œpositiveā€ representation.
In my experience with fandoms with popular queer ships, when the show is still airing thereā€™s this sense of hope that we cling to that it might ā€œturn out different this timeā€ and the character or characters might actually end up canonically queer or together. And every time, it ends the same. And even if they are confirmed queer, the ā€œbury your gaysā€ trope swoops in before it can truly be explored. As a collective, we tend to self-deprecate in order to deal with it but itā€™s actually quite a damaging thing. It reinforces the idea that queer characters and storylines are not of merit or valued in mainstream media. This turns into a vicious cycle of queer-coded characters staying queer-coded and never becoming canon as thatā€™s how far the media company producing the show is willing to go. They are not willing to take it a step further and explicitly show queer characters having agency and a place in media as this will result in backlash. Additionally, even when we are given queer characters, a lot of the time there is a lack of depth or exploration of their queerness, almost as if it doesnā€™t exist. For example, Lokiā€™s genderfluidity and bisexuality is canon and confirmed but a large amount of people who were invested in this, were disappointed to see it not having any effect on his storylines at all due to Marvel as a distribution company whose audience, or rather, targeted audience is largely cisgender, straight men. Therefore, queer audiences typically already have an expectation going into a show with a queer ship; it will most likely never happen. Iā€™ve seen first-hand people who actively donā€™t partake in these shows in order to avoid being disappointed and it hurts me to think that queer people have obtained this way of thinking in regard to media. That we know itā€™s not going to happen so we either avoid it or watch it with the miniscule hope that something will happen. And even if it does, the show will most likely get cancelled after the first season in the name of ā€œwatch hoursā€, (despite how dedicated or prevalent the fandom may be, dead boy detectives, IANOWT, first kill etc.) once again solidifying the belief that queer characters or stories are not worth the time, money or value that heterosexual ones are. This causes queer media to have a lack of funding and marketing, essentially dooming them to crash and burn. Itā€™s like building a house made of paper and then blaming the weather on its destruction.
So no, I donā€™t believe that ā€œgoing woke is going brokeā€ as I have personally indulged in many shows and films due to the sheer prospect that there might be a queer character or couple. Too many times, Iā€™ve binged several seasons of a show (in an alarmingly short amount of time I may add) purely because there is a popular ship/one of the characters might be queer ā€“ emphasis on might. It is due to the fear of these media companies that queer shows and film are immediately disadvantaged straight out the gate. However, I do see there has been a change. Obviously, there are many popular queer shows that have been given chances such as Heartstopper and Interview With The Vampire. To me, this clearly shows that queer storylines and characters, showing diversity and marginalised communities does bring audiences and value (as we ourselves know) and itā€™s purely the skewed bigotry which overtakes the reception and influences the production of media.
Additionally, when bi Buck went canon, the sheer disbelief of queer audiences that it happened at all, to me showed the standards that weā€™re used to. Weā€™re so used to not having that, that when it does happen, weā€™re actively surprised by it. Obviously, 9-1-1 in particular has showcased many queer characters before and continues to do so, however this was different as Buck was a previously established character for six seasons and so to have a sexuality arc for someone later in life was definitely a huge moment for bisexual representation in television.
For Eddie, if Tim is doing this storyline, he is right in the approach heā€™s taken. Iā€™ve talked before about how they werenā€™t sure whether it was going to be Buck or Eddie having this queer storyline in Season 7ā€¦ To me thatā€™s basically confirmation of queer Eddie, right? Well, not necessarily ā€œconfirmationā€ but the fact that he was even considered at all for this storyline solidifies his queer-coding to me and that we arenā€™t all ā€œdelusionalā€ for recognising it. Iā€™ve said before but it makes so much sense for Buck to essentially ā€œgo firstā€ by having him realise heā€™s bi and come out in S7 because it was a very different way of doing it, as you would have with Eddie. Buck is very sure of himself as a person and for him itā€™s something that was always there, but he never realised it and heā€™s quick to accept it! Thereā€™s no tortured Buck struggling with his sexuality (unless of course you count the basketball scene) itā€™s relatively smooth in the sense that heā€™s not having a breakdown over it; itā€™s just his relationship thatā€™s rocky and provides those hurdles. This was refreshing to see as it can often be an expectation that the queer character in the show is negatively affected by their queerness. However, with Eddie, it wouldnā€™t make sense for him to have that arc in season 7 itself. Partly because it had 10 episodes which would not do it enough justice, and because Eddie already had a lot to unpack. For instance, his whole season 7 storyline was surrounding his deceased wife which was just the start of his journey. Even many seasons later, he is still grappling with the effects of his grief on him and Christopher. Everything is much deeply rooted in him, as is everything in his backstory.
His whole begins episode and all of the backstory we see of him, is him trying to be someone heā€™s not/who he thinks he should be. He was trying to be a big brother turned parent for his sisters when his parents wouldnā€™t. Heā€™s trying to be a good father at nineteen, heā€™s trying to conform to the hegemonic standard of masculinity by marrying Shannon (pressured by the church as she got pregnant young) he enlists because heā€™s trying to provide for his family even though he doesnā€™t realise that itā€™s actually hurting them instead, heā€™s trying to keep custody of Chris from his parents who only see Chris as a ā€œdo-overā€ for Eddie. Eddie trying his best and get a job to provide for his son. Him doing anything his can for Chris. Shannon coming back, dating her again for Chris - despite the fact that Shannon wanted a divorce (and then died). Eddie dating Chrisā€™ teacher who he loves but Eddie doesnā€™t. Again, for Chris. Heā€™s always doing things for other people. His parents, Chris, his partners, but never for himself. Weā€™ve seen him spiral before into his fighting arc; that was something he did for himself in a sense, but it was only because he didnā€™t know how to properly regulate all the pain and grief he was feeling! Heā€™s a single father trying so hard to be the very best he can for everyone around him, to live up to ā€œwhat it means to be a manā€ pushing down any emotionally vulnerability until he inevitably snaps. The church, his catholic guilt! This affects him in numerous ways - religious wiring quite literally effects the ways you think about everything and internalise the things that happen to you. Kim was something he did for himself, but it still tied to everything else and his grief. Because of all this, no wonder you wouldnā€™t be able to fit his gay awakening into a 10-episode seasonā€¦ Eddie requires more time and thought behind what heā€™s going to have to face and process by himself. For the first time, he is truly alone with his thoughts and is faced with who he is. Outside of his parents, outside of Chris, Shannon, the army, the church, the 118, he is discovering who he truly is, not what anyone else or any institution expects him to be. And this is why, itā€™s gonna take a lot out of him and is a much different storyline to the one that Buck went through.
Everyoneā€™s sexuality realisation/coming out is different and I really canā€™t imagine Eddie going through the arc that Buck went through so I think it was a good decision to go with Buck for Season 7. Eddie has so much more to deconstruct and process in order to accept or even just realise his attraction to men, however that plays into his relationship with Buck. And even more so, his lack of attraction to women.
Honourable mention of ā€œIā€™m broken. Iā€™m broken and I canā€™t fix it,ā€ being said in his conversation with Kim which is a heavily queer coded statement, as this is a concept that is frequent in the queer community of thinking youā€™re broken due to your identity. Iā€™d genuinely be surprised if this is not the direction theyā€™re going as thereā€™s so many moments like this with Eddie across the seasons (cough dating feeling like a performance cough) especially this one, which just stand out and heavily resonate with queer audiences. Iā€™d say if they donā€™t, itā€™s a huge missed opportunity and character assassination to be honest. I care so deeply about Eddie and heā€™s such a complex character, it annoyingly makes me mad when people undermine him or pin him down to one thing as if multiple things canā€™t be true at the same time. I know heā€™s a fictional character and in reality, itā€™s not that deep but when people undermine his queer-coding or deny it, it feels like denying a whole group of peopleā€™s experiences akin to his.
So, the ā€œemotional reasonā€ behind the moustache in my mind, would definitely link to the idea that Eddie has clung possibly extra hard to his perceived idea of what masculinity is to him/what itā€™s expected to be. Yes, the style of moustache is engrained in queer culture, but I think that itā€™s more so an accessory which heā€™s using to overcompensate for his queerness, (consciously or not). Iā€™m relating this to one of my favourite queer films, Maurice, as in that movie facial hair, specifically moustaches play a significant role in displaying the characters attitudes towards their queerness without explicitly saying them. Maurice and Clive both go through phases of having a moustache, with Maurice first when he is in a period of reluctance towards his sexuality. Heā€™s the more accepting of the two, so it doesnā€™t last long. However, as Maurice moves out of this phase and begs Clive to stay with him and be together, Clive transitions into that position and denies Mauriceā€™s claims that they could be happy somewhere together. He clings to the traditional ideals of marriage and heterosexuality, as is the norm in 1910ā€™s England, trying to bring an end to the whole affair. Later, when Clive announces heā€™s engaged to be wed to a woman, he has a moustache and continues to have this moustache for the rest of the film, showing how heā€™s never going to accept himself for who he is, and is using this to conceal his emotions. The moustache here, represents hiding your true self and repressing your desires, acting as a ā€œmaskā€. This to me, is very reminiscent of how Eddie appears with his moustache, and I wouldnā€™t be surprised if they ended up with the same metaphorical reasoning.
In the first episode (the only episode thatā€™s currently out), we saw that Gerrard approves of his moustache, himself being the typical masculine archetype that Eddie may believe himself to be or believes that he should be. Not that Eddie wants to be like Gerrard; of course not, heā€™s a bigot. Itā€™s that portrayal of masculinity which ties into how he was brought up, and the ideals of the catholic church surrounding gender roles and sexuality. I thought this direct comparison was interesting between them as Eddie is definitely doing this for approval if not from others, but from himself that ā€œthis is who he isā€ when in reality itā€™s not. In my interpretation, the fact that theyā€™ve specifically mentioned episode six as when he shaves off the moustache and has this physical manifestation of his inner demons, screams to me a queer arc for Eddie. I think there is so much potential for his character and storyline, not just for the ship heā€™s involved in but for himself and everyone who sees themselves in Eddie.
In conclusion, I really hope they go down this route and if they donā€™t, once again, it will be a huge, missed opportunity and I wouldnā€™t be certain where theyā€™d go with his character if not there. This was just a chance for me to get my thoughts out, ahead of the upcoming episodes and I really hope we get to see a positive outcome for his character, whatever route they take.
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uncommonsunlight Ā· 7 months ago
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Final thoughts on this before I put Watcher firmly in my rear-view mirror
They are bad at business. The other content creators that came for them in videos showed that they should not be struggling. They're doing something wrong with their money but rather than fix it or get help with that they tried to make it our problem and that sucks.
That's not something they should crash and burn for but nothing they said convinced me they heard those concerns or think they were wrong initially. They are reacting to a worse response than they anticipated, they are not genuinely feeling bad.
Their quiet likes or reblogs of their equally out of touch friends supportive posts really got under my skin. This is what they really think, they are not genuinely sorry.
They obviously hired PR and listened but why didn't they do that before this launch? They still have a lot of ego to overcome and I don't know if they will be able to do that.
Finally they got to this point because they didn't want to do the work necessary of growing a media company in normal mode. Like Self-promo, hiring people who are capable of doing many tasks and then branching out when they have sustained growth, and putting out lower cost but entertaining content. So they tried to grow it on easy mode and fucked up so spectacularly that now they'll have to do it on hard mode. Even if I was still invested in the personalities (I'm not) I'm also not particularly interested in watching new content I know they're just pretending they like to do.
I'm tired. I woke up not caring whether they did reply or not and I'm not picking the sub back up. There's a real popular saying on tumblr: When someone shows you who they are believe them. I choose to believe them. Maybe I'll look in from time to time. But for now, goodbye Watcher.
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sadsock Ā· 5 months ago
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thoughts on the bear after season 3 has marinated a bit
now that itā€™s been a week, there is no doubt in my mind that clairecarmy are not endgame. sydcarmy may not be either (at least in season 4) but itā€™s not gonna be claire. I think the babysitter comment was intentionally placed to contrast with what the faks say to claire about taking care of carmy. the writers know what not to do and they wonā€™t do it. I trust them to understand that a romance canā€™t be the answer to carmyā€™s trauma and pain. itā€™s love and connection, yes. but his relationship with claire simply did not offer that in a substantial way and they know it. her purpose was to highlight his issues and just what he needs to work on when it comes to relationships and personal growth.
him getting stuck on thoughts about her is bc heā€™s so painfully aware of this. he knows he messed up badly and knows he keeps messing up all his relationships this season, and he canā€™t forgive himself for it. so instead he replays every moment with her almost as form of self-punishment (note how anxious it makes him). it reaffirmed everything he feared about himself not being built for normal relationships like normal people, and he spiraled. he is stuck in a self-loathing loop and only knows to drown it out by obsessing over work and being a perfectionist (hence perpetuating the abuse inflicted on him by donna and EMP chef).
not to mention all the promo for the show, claire is barely shown in clips or even the actress molly. and we rarely see her character interact with the other main characters on the show either. this is simply not how you treat the endgame people.
I think carmyā€™s next arc will be about him forgiving himself, cleanly breaking things off with claire, talking to his mom, and mending his relationships with a focus on richie and sydney. I imagine he will have important scenes with nat and the baby too to represent a new chapter for the berzattos. it will be about him reconnecting with himself and the people he loves, giving himself a chance to experience a softer and kinder mindset. since sydney represents focus on the present and hope for the future (the best meal and all the talk about legacy and family trees), I expect the season will end by showing where they are in their relationship, both professionally and personally.
this is why I wish for a season 5 or second part of season 3 before season 4. so we can have enough time to watch carmy settling into a healing mindset and a renewed outlook on his life and passions (cooking and art perhaps?), as well as meaningful character arcs for sydney and the main crew. all in all, I think this season was important to show carmy just how bleak the world is when he chooses to be so destructive and shunning all the light in his life.
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sugar-and-pearls Ā· 20 days ago
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Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs
My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;
This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.
So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.
Create -
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In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.
So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.
Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.
'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.
My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.
Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.
interact -
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I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.
Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.
If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.
With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.
Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this šŸ‘šŸ˜ŠšŸ‘
Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -
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You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.
Insecurity
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Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!
This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.
But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the šŸ–• cus we don't give a šŸ¦†
Karma -
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I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.
Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.
Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.
Take Breaks
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It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.
It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.
If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.
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Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunetĀ @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.
With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again
Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.
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