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viaisms · 2 days

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twenty questions

summary: penelope accidentally mentions that someone has a crush on you, she can't say who it is but you make it into a game so she can :) warnings: spencer reid x bau!reader, gn reader, mentions of drinking wine, pg-13 language, talk of bugs?? its a nickname,,, lots of use of pet names lol, fluff, no mention of y/n yeehaw, pining, you're completely oblivious about how much spencer wants you, not proofread </3 authors note: first fic!! i haven't officially written a fic in. gosh, years?? since the pandemmy :( i really want to get back into writing, so have this little blurb that i thought of! by all means i am here for any constructive criticism you may have<3 wc: 2.7k

The clatter of fingertips tapping against a keyboard filled the dimly lit BAU office. You sit at your desk, eyes fixed on the glowing screen as you scroll through reports, cross-referencing case files and taking notes. The quiet hum of the building has long since settled into a lull; you barely realize how deeply you've fallen into your work,

The distant ticking of a clock finally breaks your trance, but it wasn't until you feel the hairs arise on the back of your neck that you become fully aware. You slowly blink with a quiet groan, glancing at the time at the bottom of your screen.

10:58 PM. Shit.

You align your fingertips atop of your keyboard, the soft clatter filling the office once more before you hear the all-too familiar voice.

"Babes, what are you still doing here?!"

You turn and see nobody else but Garcia, finally emitting from her bat-cave. Her arms cross against her chest, a disappointed hum coming from her pressed lips. "You, my love, should be at home in a nice hot bath with a glass of wine."

Your lips splay a lazy smirk as you lean back in your chair, stretching your body with a quiet groan. "I was just about to wrap up, Pen, I promise..." You assure your colleague, feeling the strain of staring at a screen all day every time that you blink.

"Good deal my beautiful bug," Penelope chirps as her arms drop to her side. She's just as tired as you are, having spent all of her day digging through databases to find information on a potential UnSub. Her heals click as she goes to turn away, walking back towards her office.

"You know, you have to get your beauty sleep for your lover boy in the mor..." Her once confident words grow timid as she begins to trail off.

Penelope's breath catches in her throat as she realizes the words that so effortlessly flew off her tongue, her blood running cold at her grave error. Spencer is going to kill her.

"My what?" Your eyes narrow, scoffing in a confused manner.

She stills, yet she doesn't turn to you.

"Nothing! I... I didn't say anything..." She mutters with a nervous stammer of your name, the rhythmic clicking of her heels continuing as she speeds to her office.

You stand, the wheels of your office chair sliding out from under you as you feel a weakness in both of your legs. You stretch once more, trying to think of when the last time you even stood was.

"Penelope Grace Garcia!"

Her hand is resting on the cold, slick material of the doorknob that has the potential to separate her from this deep abyss that she just dug herself into. Instead, she stills for another moment before turning to you once more.

Penelope has to think of a lie, and quick.

"Obviously... I was talking about Morgan!"

There is a reason why she does what she does for a living, and is rarely out on the field with the rest of the crew unless her technical skills are needed.

Your eyes squint with a tentative hum. You don't believe Garcia, not for a second.

"You do know I'm a profiler..." A grumble of amusement comes from your chest at Penelope's attempt.

"Right..." She murmurs, her voice quiet as she breaks your gaze. She's mentally kicking herself for blabbing, such a rookie mistake in the game of workplace gossip.

Your eyebrows raise as you await Garcia's confession. However, she stays strong, not uttering another peep from her velvet-painted lips.

"So...?" You sing after a beat of silence, stars of hope glistening in the pools of your eyes.

With a whine, Penelope's shoulders drop.

"Look... I love you, sweetness, I do..." Her lips droop into a frown. Penelope's eyes greet your own somberly with a shake of her own head. "But I promised I wouldn't tell..."

You feel a weight of disappointment on your chest, and with a sigh, you decide to drop it. Penelope sees the way the sparkle in your eye begins to dim, eliciting a whine from her barely audible to your own ears.

"But!" She chirps, trying to share some of her own light with you. Penelope shouldn't be doing this, and she knows it. However, she is far too nurturing to let a beautiful smile like yours falter for even a second. "If you guess it... it's not technically me telling you, right?"

"You know? I like the way your mind thinks," You hum, reveling in the fact that you got your way. "Twenty questions?" The cold sensation of the faux-leather hits you as you sit back in your chair.

The corner of Penelope's lips twitch upwards as a combination of guilt and excitement course through her veins. "You know I love a good game, hit me..." She murmurs, her voice self-assured as she pulls a chair from a nearby desk, her legs crossing as she sits next to you.

"Okay..." You mutter with a shaky sigh. The pounding of your heart fills your entire body, your stomach slightly cramping with nerves. "Is it someone I know?"

"Uh, duh?"

Your eyes flutter shut, raking through potential victims that fell for whatever love trap you didn't even intent on setting. "Male or female?"

"Acht! That's not part of the rules my curious friend and you know it," Her dark eyes narrow as she playfully scolds her colleague. "I'm totally counting it though, eighteen more questions..."

With pressed lips, you weigh out the obvious individuals who are least likely to be a contender. Penelope sees how deep you are in thought, and she can't help herself but quietly scoff.

How can you not know it's Spencer? She thinks to herself. Everyone around the office sees it -- everyone but you, apparently. As you think, her mind wanders to about two months prior, where Spencer came to her for love advice. Penelope, being herself, already knew he was fawning over you. She picked up on it the moment the genius somehow grew more awkward every time he were to speak to you.

However, also being herself, she refused to give him any sound advice until he spilled who the lucky contender was; which just so happened to be you.

The sound of your voice pulls her out of her own mind.

"Do I see them often?"

The corners of her lips prop upwards, almost tauntingly. "Very," she affirms.

Someone you see very often... you mentally walk through your day-to-day routine, retracing every step no matter how minuscule. You awake every morning to nobody in your apartment but your cat, besides the occasional sleepover with a friend every now and again. You ready yourself for work alone, your first stop in the morning being the local coffee shop down the street...

"Ooh! Is it someone from the coffee shop?" You chirp, your heart beginning to race at the idea of an unspoken stranger admiring your beauty from afar. Individuals you see there on a day-to-day basis flood your mind, although it completely falls empty for the exception of one person; a barista behind the counter, roughly your age who is not bad looking in the slightest.

"That would be a negative..." Her red-painted lips press together, a slight pang of disappointment hitting you in the gut that it wasn't the barista.

"Darn..." You tut, your mind trying to silently place the pieces of the puzzle together. Someone you know, someone you see often, not someone from the coffee shop...

Penelope can't believe how oblivious you are. How do you not pick up on the fact that Spencer follows you around the office like a lost puppy? Or the fact that when the two of you are on the field together, he insists you go with him or vice versa because he feels the need to protect you?

"No way that it's a colleague?" Your brows stitch together, your head slanting as you throw the inconceivable idea into the open.

Penelope's head slightly tilts downwards as she gazes at you through the top of her frames. She flashes you a sly, almost flirtatious grin at your not-so-far-fetched theory.

"And if it is?"

The feeling of your heart hammering in your heart is felt throughout your entire body, your cheeks warming as you feel blood rush to your brain.

"Who?!" You exclaim, completely forgoing the rules to the game. This narrows your options to about seven. Your hands fumble with the cotton on the hem of your shirt as you narrow your options down even further, a shuttering breath falling from your lips.

"How do you not know?!" Penelope is quick to match your energy, an actual pain shooting through her chest at your own naivety. Her brows raise as her eyes widen, her fists balling as she folds herself back from blurting it out.

Your lips part as you're about to exclaim something quick and witty back to your colleague when it hits you. Like a fish gulping for water, you feel the soft skin of your lips quickly snap shut.

The memories hit you all at once: the mornings you're in a rush and you forget your coffee - Reid excusing himself for a moment with a muttered excuse before returning with it minutes later, the nights you return home from a case and he offers to spend time with you because it pains you being alone after what you saw, the countless facts he will ramble to you on the plane because damn it, you're the only one that actually listens to him.

"Oh my god, Reid?" Your jaw drops as you gasp, your arms numbing as your nerves shoot past the roof and to the stratosphere.

With a relieved sigh, Penelope's palms slap against her thighs, planting her leg down onto the floor with her other one. "Finally!" She groans, almost feeling a sense of comfort that you know and the weird tension around the office while the two are around would soon come to an end.

"Since when?!" Your heart ticks against your chest so hard that you can hear it in your ears. Never in a million years would you assume it would be Spencer that would be silently pining over you. Reid?!

"Since like... forever, buttercup!" Penelope giggles. She can see the dots being connected in the pretty little brain of yours, and god, she loves it. Her voice softens, a warm, almost maternal intent behind them. "We really should be getting home..." She groans, her gaze flicking to the clock on the wall. "Since you two are totes madly in love already, let me know when one of you decides to make the move, okay?"

With a roll of your eyes, the back of your hand ever so gently strikes the side of Garcia's arm. She notices the way blush speckles across your face, a knowing grin playing against her own. You can't ignore the way your chest fuzzes over at the thought of Spencer feeling about you the way you feel about him, it makes your stomach ache with desire; you don't know if you love or hate the sensation.

"Goodnight, Garcia..." A mix between a chuckle and a sigh of contentment is emitted from you. She mumbles a quick 'good night' with a quick, playful wink before standing from her chair, returning it to its original home.

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

The next morning you're in a hurry to get to work, oversleeping by a long shot as it took you forever to wind down last night due to your wandering thoughts.

You get to your desk with merely minutes to spare, a tired, overwhelmed groan falling from your lips as you place your bag in your desk and splay your jacket against the back of your chair.

"Long night last night, agent?"

You don't even have to look up to know who it is... your body freezes for a moment, not sure if you're prepared to deal with this; not yet, anyways.

With a soft sigh, your gaze is lifted and immediately greeted with Spencer's. His large, curious and caring stare. His hazel eyes almost bare into your own, causing a tingle to run down your spine. You try to ignore the butterflies that patter within the walls of your stomach, yet they're hard to confine.

"Yeah... I'm fine, Reid," You nod, your lips tentatively pressing together. "Just didn't sleep worth the damn last night... just... thinking about the case..." You trail, the sound of your voice growing softer and quieter like a beautiful decrescendo.

His lips part for just a moment, an inaudible 'ah' coming from him before giving you an understanding nod.

"I figured... Garcia told me you were here late last night and I kind of... presumed this may happen," He muses with an awkward chuckle. "Which is why... I brought you this..."

Reid's tall frame trails away from your desk for a moment, which draws out a soft hum from you as you tap your fingertips against the smooth, cool material of your desk.

His long stride is quick to return, your heart almost leaping out of your throat as he sees what's within his long, slender fingers.

Your favorite coffee.

You accept the gesture, your stomach doing flips as you take the cup within the confines of your own grasp. You mumble something quick and playful, telling Spencer that he is your favorite person in the world right now for such a small action.

The feeling of someone else watching you is burned into the back of your skull, a sensation churning in your gut that you can't shake. Your gaze flicks over to the side, in which you're immediately greeted by Garcia.

She not-so-subtly flashes two thumbs up at you, her nails painted a shade of dark purple. "Go get 'em!" She mouths in approval, your gaze quickly turning over to the male in front of you in attempt to hide Penelope's matchmaking attempt.

"Hey... do you um... maybe want to get coffee at this place together sometime?" You attempt to thickly swallow down your nerves, trying to soothe the heartbeat creeping out of your chest.

Spencer is silent a moment, his lips twitching upwards in a sign of approval at your suggestion. You see the thoughts shifting through his mind, the rates of his blinks increasing in a sense of disbelief that you're actually asking him this.

"I-- um... yeah! Let's do tomorrow before work? If... you're okay getting up that early, if not we can totally do a different time, perhaps--"

"Tomorrow it is..." You cut him off, something you rarely do. He nods in agreement, a quiet 'tomorrow' mumbled from his lips as he attempts to conceal his excitement.

You’re not sure how to shake off the butterflies in your stomach, but Spencer’s shy smile is enough to make you feel warm all over. You take a sip of your coffee, letting the moment linger. Before you can say anything else, Garcia’s voice breaks through your thoughts, louder than life.

"You two better not cancel on me! I want details!" she teases from across the room, flashing a mischievous grin your way. You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips.

Spencer, now fully aware of the matchmaker’s antics, lets out a soft laugh, running a hand through his hair, looking even more flustered than before.

You meet his gaze again, a new kind of tension settling between you—a mix of nerves, excitement, and something deeper that you’re not ready to name just yet. You take a breath, feeling that the next chapter of whatever this is has already started, and it’s thrilling.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you murmur, unable to stop the grin that’s threatening to split your face. Spencer nods, his smile small but genuine, as he turns to head to his desk.

As he walks away, you catch a glimpse of Garcia again, this time with an exaggerated wink. You shake your head, but you can’t suppress the warmth blooming in your chest. Tomorrow’s going to be interesting, to say the least.

And maybe... just maybe, things are finally falling into place.

#spencer reid x reader #penelope garcia x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #fanfic #spencer reid #x reader #via’s fics<3

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pochaccoups · 16 hours

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hhu’s love languages (nsfw)

seungcheol —; biting

oh, how he loves to sink his teeth into your precious skin.

he’ll admit it—it’s a little bit (read: a lot) of a possessive thing. it’s not enough for him to have you face down, ass up, writhing underneath him as he pounds you into tomorrow. he just can’t resist from leaning over you, pressing his broad, sweat-slicked chest to your back, and clamping down on the curve of your neck with his teeth.

it doesn’t help that you say his name so pretty when he does; a breathy, high-pitched moan of two syllables—“cheollie,”—that drives him to insanity.

and it’s not just your neck that falls victim to his bite. it’s his favourite, yes—it’s easily accessible in all of your favourite positions, after all. but no part of you is safe.

when his head is between your legs, he kisses up along your calf, mouths at the fat of your thigh before you feel the soft sting of his teeth sinking into it. only then is he satisfied. only then does he give you what you want: his mouth on your pussy as he eats you out so good it leaves your entire body shaking.

when you’re sat in his lap, bouncing on his cock like a bitch in heat despite the way your thighs burn, his mouth finds your tits like a moth to a flame. they’re sensitive, he knows that, so he’s considerate enough to go a little easier on them, nibbling at the soft skin. he’ll still leave his mark on them, of course, only instead of bite marks he litters your chest with dark little love bites.

he loves nothing more than seeing your reaction to his dirty little habit. when you waddle off to the bathroom and leave him laying there in post-orgasm bliss, a yelp of his name has him grinning and jumping to his feet.

he finds you glaring at the mirror, with your hair a mess and your features flustered from the sight of the perfect teeth indentation on your right shoulder.

“i look like a shark attack survivor! how am i supposed to cover this?” you ask, exasperated.

and the worst thing about choi seungcheol is how hard it is to be mad at him. when he presses himself against you, snakes his arms around your waist, and drops his head to dot kisses all over the mark in question, you find yourself melting into him with an ease like it’s ingrained in you.

eventually, he speaks up, muttering his words into your skin: “don’t cover it.”

wonwoo —; hand holding

wonwoo, your sweet wonwoo. so shy that he gets flustered when you hold his hand in public.

in the dim lighting of your bedroom, though, he’s not so shy. in fact it’s you who’s flustered, your body searing hot, your head spinning from the weight of your boyfriend on top of you.

he’s got you manhandled onto your stomach, kneeling between your spread legs, fucking you like he’s trying to carve the shape of his cock into your very womb. what’s worse is the way his hands, lithe and pretty, take yours, pinning you to the mattress so he can drive his hips harder into you.

“w-wonwoo,” you sob, squeezing and grasping at the fingers that are laced with yours.

“hmm? what’s wrong, pretty girl?” he asks, practically cooing into your ear. “can’t take it?”

“i can,” you whimper, clenching around him, pressing your hips up into his thrusts. to show him.

“yeah, there you go. fuck, take my cock so good, don’t you?”

if you were to try and tell anyone that jeon wonwoo was capable of speaking like this, you’re sure they wouldn’t believe you. the wonwoo who can barely hold your hand in front of others, let alone kiss you? that wonwoo?

it’s the same wonwoo who fucks your face without remorse, who fingers you until you squirt, who eats you out until you can’t feel your legs—that wonwoo. and the best thing about him is that he’ll hold your hand through all of them, even as he abuses your poor cunt, like it’s reassurance. a touch of mercy to remind you he’s still your boyfriend who loves you so much even if he fucks you like an ex.

after all, he is a romantic. what’s more romantic than your pretty boyfriend holding your hands when he’s fucking your brains out?

mingyu —; choking

it may or may not be his habit of playfully grabbing his members by their neck that floods your mind with the idea of being in their place.

you’ve always had a thing for mingyu’s hands, even before you’d started dating him. the sheer size of them, the thickness of his fingers—all of it would have you squeezing your thighs together at just the thought of what he could use them for. (to make you see heaven and above, as you came to find out).

but mingyu is a gentleman in the most literal sense of the word. he’s big, he’s strong, and he compensates for that by treating you like glass. not that he doesn’t fuck you hard when you ask, but putting his hands around your neck is not something that even enters his mind. he’d let himself be struck dead before he’d use his strength to harm you.

fortunately, you’re good at getting your way with him—especially when he’s got his dick buried inside you. every last shred of his rationality goes straight out the window the moment he feels the hot, wet embrace of your pussy around him.

he grabs at your hips, your thighs, your tits; his fingers cling to every inch of your skin to keep himself from falling over the edge of insanity because you’re so fucking tight around him that it’s dizzying.

“gyu,” you moan, and he’s alert in an instant, like a dog called on by its owner, ready for his next command. “choke me?”

his thrusts falter and his features are questioning, yet you don’t miss the way his cock throbs against your walls at your words.

“baby, i don’t know if i should-”

“please, gyu?” you plead, gazing up at him, tightening your thighs where they’re wrapped around your waist. “for me?”

and kim mingyu is many things, but tenacious is not one of them.

when it comes to you he’s hopeless, nothing but a weak fool in love. it’s why he doesn’t stop you when you take him by his wrist and guide his giant hand to sit just above your clavicle. you don’t make him squeeze or anything, you leave that up to him. you just want him to see it, to feel it. to get a glimpse into the fantasy you’ve been keeping from him.

his hips slow, his eyes darkening as he gazes down at you with an affection you’ve never seen from him. gently, his fingers, which almost wrap around the entire circumference of your neck, start to press. it’s barely enough pressure to tickle, but fuck, it’s so hot it sends your eyes rolling back.

suddenly mingyu gets it. adrenaline flushes through his body and goes straight to his cock—it’s a sight he wants etched into his brain forever. your eyes hazy, a tiny, content smile on your kiss-swollen lips, his massive hand gripping your neck as he fucks you with a new kind of fervour. he gets it, and he can’t believe he didn’t get it sooner.

you can see it clearly—how, in just a matter of time, he’ll have his forehead pressed to yours, his cock grazing the spot that has you seeing stars over and over while his hand cuts off your airflow, choking you hard, the way you’ve always wanted.

vernon —; spitting

is it cliche and predictable to assign him this? maybe. but what if he’s not the one doing the spitting?

he’s a little bit obsessed with letting you do what you want with him. it’s not a dom or sub thing—vernon’s an easygoing guy in all aspects of life, and if you feel like sitting in his lap and making out with him until you’re both gasping for air, the last thing he’ll do is complain.

his favourite thing of all is when you ride him. fuck, everything about you is mesmerising; the way you grind your hips over his cock so expertly, the way you brace your hands against his chest, letting your nails rake into his skin ever so often, the way your head tips backwards and your moans spill out in the sweetest song.

vernon gazes up at you like you put the stars in the sky, like you brought about life itself, like he can’t believe he’s the one who gets to see you like this. his eyes, dark, round, and glimmering, are a picture of how enamoured he is with you. he has no idea how crazy it drives you.

it’s natural the way your hand reaches for his cheek, the way your thumb moves to glide over his lips, soft and puffy. vernon falls in love for the millionth time when you dip it inside his mouth, push it gently against his tongue, gathering up his spit on the tip of your finger. it makes his dick jump to be at your mercy like this. his hips buck up into yours, desperate to drive himself even deeper into the addictive heat of your cunt.

you press his mouth open, just slightly, just enough, and lean forward. a pearl of your saliva, of you, lands in the centre of his tongue, and he doesn’t have time to swallow it before your mouth finds his, kissing him with greed. it’s messy—lips smacking, your moans mingling with his, but the thing about vernon is that you cannot get enough of him. even though he’s inside you and you’re skin to skin with and your mouths are connected.

you pull away, your grin cat-like, your attention shifting back to the stretch of his cock as you bounce up and down him with a newfound desperation.

“god, you’re hot,” he whispers, his own lips quirking into a fucked-out smile.

“yeah? you like it when i spit in your mouth, hansollie? so dirty,” you reply.

he doesn’t last much longer after that.

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thewidowsledger · 3 days

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Bearer Of The Seed

Pairings: Targaryen!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: +18, HOUSE OF THE DRAGON AU, AMAB!Natasha, Targayen!Natasha, smut, angst (sex just for the obligation of making heirs), forced marriage (political arrangement to save reader's family), Natasha plots to make reader pregnant while reader plots to deceive Natasha lol, lots of chasing, top!Natasha, bottom!reader, dubious consent, breeding kink, rough sex, bleeding (reader is a virgin), creampie, fingering (r receiving), overstimulation & squirting (r receiving)

Author’s Note: Tiger cub!!!! 🐅 Thank you so much for your request and I hope I wrote your request the way you imagined it to be. Yey, my first fic request done! There are more, hihi <3 ps. I am not actually back yet, I just wanted to post this ksksskskss

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⧗

“Rest and heal, my sweet. And I will make sure to make up for the night we missed,” she said in a soft and gentle tone, only for you to hear as you continued to lie there, your eyes closed in what appeared to be a deep and restful sleep.

“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”

She caressed your face for the last time gently before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

⧗

“Father, smith, warrior. Mother, maiden, crone, stranger…”

The words felt like acid on your tongue. Each one stinging you as they leave your lips. You loathed having to say them. You loathed having to agree. This wasn't some love match. It was the voice of a prisoner accepting their fate.

You force yourself to keep your eyes on Natasha, refusing to blink despite the tears forming. You will not cry. Not in her presence. You will not give her that satisfaction. So you try your best to stand tall, to be defiant. Though it's hard when you feel so completely defeated as you said the final words that will seal you both forever.

“I am yours...and you are mine. From this day...until the end of my days.”

The last word was hardly out of your mouth when Natasha took a step forward and captured your lips with hers. Natasha’s grip on your hips tightens as she pulls you firmly against her. Her lips are rough and insistent as they move against yours. You can feel the tension and desire coursing through her as she claims your mouth in a possessive, greedy kiss.

With what seems like great effort, Natasha breaks the kiss. She takes a step back and you notice a sly smirk slowly appear on his face as she watches you try to catch your breath and you so badly wanted to wipe that on her face. Clearly, she was enjoying the effect she had on you, but you will not make this easy for her.

You will make sure to play this game on your hands, not hers.

⧗

“Heirs…”

Hearing your now family bring up the subject of heirs, made you feel a lump form in your throat. It was something you'd tried to avoid thinking about, but you knew it was a reality you would have to face.

Natasha didn't even flinch. She seems confident and unbothered, like she has no concerns in that regard. She responds without missing a beat.

“Oh, we’ll have heirs. Plenty of them, in fact.”

Natasha's grip on your hands tightens slightly, you force a tight-lipped smile on your face as you struggle to appear calm.

“I will make sure that our marriage bed will not lack heat. We’ll have as many children as the gods see fit to bless us with.” She added with such confidence.

You knew that the celebration was coming to an end and you were starting to feel overwhelmed by the noise and the crowd—by her. The air felt hot and stifling. Without saying a word, you excused yourself but as you stood Natasha didn't let go of your hand. So you eyed her intently authoritatively and she immediately released your hand, you didn't miss the flicker of hesitation and fear in her eyes. Her usual confident and authoritative demeanor seemed to be gone for a moment, revealing just the slightest crack in her armor.

As you walked, a small smirk tugged your lips, it gave you a sense of satisfaction, knowing that you had the power to affect her in that way. For a brief moment, you felt like you were in control, that you had some bargaining power in this situation.

Of course you do, you will play this game right on your palm, right?

You stepped into the cool night air of the corridors outside, you tried not to let your emotions get the best of you as you thought about the fact that your family had been saved, you realized just how high the cost was. Natasha had saved you from ruin, but the price was steep. You were now the payment, a pawn in a larger game of power and politics. Knowing that you were traded like a piece of livestock in exchange for your family’s safety, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

One of the foremost was the fact that you will need to carry the child of someone you didn't really know. Natasha Romanoff was a complex and dangerous woman, unpredictable, impulsive and arrogant—those are the only things you know about her. So the thought of being connected to her through a child was unsettling, to say the least. Yet you knew, as soon as the words of the scripted vows you loathed to say forcefully fell from your lips, there was no turning back.

It is inevitable or perhaps it can be avoided?

You were lost in your own thoughts, worrying about your future, when the maid servant's voice broke your train of thought.

“The celebration is over, your Grace. The King will be expecting you in her chambers.”

Her words and the instructions were simple, but they sent a shiver of unease through you. But you wanted to test the waters, you wanted to test who among you holds such power to the both of you.

“Let her know that I am denying her request,” you replied coldly as the night breeze.

“But your Gra—”

“Tell her that.” you cut her off with a finality, “I’ll be at my chambers, I’ll retire early for tonight.” You added, hinting that if she wished to prove the power she has on you, she will come and show you.

The night slipped away and you opted for the secret chambers that only and your maester, Wanda knew. Inside, you hoped to find solitude and respite from the pressures and chaos of the day.

You stayed in the dimly lit room, the only light provided by a few flickering candles, as the night went on. You didn’t know whether or not Natasha had come to your original chambers, expecting to find you there.

But you will make sure not surrender yourself, not without a fight.

⧗

Natasha was growing increasingly frustrated as she recounted different excuses from the maid servants every time she inquired about you. She hadn't seen you since the night of your wedding, and the more time passed the more suspicious she became.

Another maid servant entered her headquarters and she is for sure to deliver another excuse from you.

“The Queen is not feeling well, you Grace.”

The maid servant stood before the King, her hands clasped in front of her nervously as she delivered her message.

“What happened? What does the maester say the issue is?” The suspicion that she had in mind is now gone and is replaced by a deep concern for you.

“Well, you Gr—”

“I will go and check on my wife.”

“I fear the Queen doesn’t want anyone in her chambe—”

“I’m not anyone, I am her King. I am her wife.”

Without another word of excuse, she rose from her seat and stalked out of the room. The King wasted no time making her way through the halls of the Keep, her steps were loud as she walked towards your chambers.

The moment Natasha stepped into the chambers, her eyes immediately fell upon your pale form lying in the bed. She was by your side in an instant, her hand reaching out to touch your forehead—and she could feel the heat radiating from you.

“Gods, you’re burning up,” she muttered, as she took in your sickly appearance.

Natasha's eyes darted to the maester as she confirmed that you would be fine in time, and that you had been examined already.

“And what is the cause of her sickness?” she questioned, her gaze returning to you.

Wanda cleared her throat, as she darted her eyes on your sleeping form. She breathed, shutting her eyes before she explained the cause of your illness.

“It appears the Queen has fallen ill due to stress and exhaustion,” she said with a shaky voice, as she watched Natasha softly caress your body. “And it would be best for her to be left alone for a few days, allowing her body to rest and recover,” she added, finally eyeing the King.

“Days?” Natasha repeated as if she didn't hear it clearly.

“Yes…”

Natasha let out a heavy sigh, her mind conflicted. On one hand, she wanted to keep you in her sight and she wanted you to be okay now so she could spend the nights with you fulfilling the obligations of making a long line of heirs. On the other, she knew the maester was likely right about your need for solitude and rest.

“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”

She caressed your face for the last time gently before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

As she withdrew, she turned to the Wanda who was standing just outside the doorway of your chamber. “Do everything you can to ensure that she is well soon,” she instructed.

“Yes, your Grace.”

As soon as Natasha left your chambers, you slowly and stealthily got up from the bed where you had been feigning sleep. Your body trembled slightly as you inhaled deep breaths, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You were grateful that your plan had worked, and that Natasha had believed your act of being sick.

Wanda, your trusted maester and ally in your plan, looked at you with a sigh as you got up from the bed.

“I told you hot water and a cloth would do the trick,” she said, referring to the method she suggested to fake your elevated temperature.

“I’ll have you full of my seed in no time.”

“My Grace, are you alright? Are you really sick now? You look pale.”

You snapped back to the present, your mind still replaying Natasha's words from earlier when she spoke to you while you were pretending to be in a deep slumber.

“I’m fine,” you assured Wanda, your voice a little shaky. “Just a bit…tired, that’s all.”

Tired of all this.

“Well, I shall leave you alone then, my Grace.”

Wanda has been the first person you became close with, and she has been nothing but supportive to cover up for you and your plans. You even heard her lie for you just a while ago and that was not even a part of your plan. But when the King asked about your condition—your fake condition, she still did with no hesitation.

“Thank you, Wanda.”

⧗

It had been several days since Natasha’s visit, and you had successfully managed to avoid her so far due to your pretense of being sick. Now, you were stepping out into the gardens, seeking a change of scenery and some fresh air.

The gardens were a lovely sight, the sun shining brightly and the flowers in full bloom. You strolled along the pathways, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere.

As you were walking in the garden, relishing the tranquil surroundings, your eyes caught a glimpse of something or rather, someone—in the distance. It was Natasha, standing next to Caraxes, the Blood Wyrm.

Her gaze was fixated on you and you could tell that she was surprised to see you out and about, considering the fact that you were supposed to be unwell. And now, she is making her way over to you.

Your instincts kicked in immediately, and your first thought was to run. Without hesitation, you darted through the gardens, your heart racing as you navigated the twisting and turning paths of the maze.

As you ran, adrenaline pumped through your veins, and you quickened your pace, determined to elude her as long as possible.

You were dressed in a gown made of flowing silk, the fabric soft and lightweight against your skin. The hem of the dress brushed against the grass as you ran, occasionally catching on the leaves of the maze bushes.

You sprinted through the maze, dodging and weaving between the high walls of greenery. As you continued running through the maze, your heart rate spiked ever higher when you caught a glimpse of Natasha through the gaps in the leaves.

Seeing her so close, so determined to find you, sent another jolt of adrenaline through your body, the fight-or-flight response kicking into high gear.

Although you were aware that she would eventually catch you, you refused to let her have an easy victory. You steeled yourself, determined to play this game in your own hands.

The twists and turns of the maze became your playground. Every time you thought she was closing in, you would change direction, taking unexpected forks that would put some distance between you again.

As you sprinted through the maze, looking back in the direction you last saw Natasha, a sudden body slammed in front of you. The force knocked you off balance, catching you off guard.

A pair of hands locked around your arms, effectively trapping you, preventing any further escape.

“Are you running away from me?”

As you met Natasha’s intense gaze, your heart raced and your words came out in a slight stutter. “Y-your Grace…” you started to say, but your mind was too preoccupied with the situation to form a coherent response.

You gulped as you looked away, and then replied with a shaky voice. “No, your Grace,” you said, your eyes still fixed on the soil where you were standing. Despite your denial, there was undeniable fear in your voice.

“I was expecting that you’re still in your chambers, resting. Wanda told me you’re still sick.”

“I wanted to go out, g-get some fresh air…”

“You should’ve come to me so I will go out with you.”

“I…” you hesitated for a moment, wanting to be careful on how you’re going to say the next words, “I wanted to have some time alone, y-your Grace.”

Her grip on your arms relaxed slightly as she heard your response. “I haven't had a night alone with you since our wedding, Y/N,” she said, she sounded a bit disappointed that made you hitch your breath.

“Look at me.” She commanded, leaving no room for disobedience. And you slowly did, as your gazes met, her eyes softened with a little fire of an intense desire, and her proximity to you made your heart race even faster.

In a swift and dominating move, Natasha closed the remaining distance between you and claimed your lips in a searing kiss. Natasha sensed your attempts to resist so she deepened the kiss, her tongue demanding entry, as her hands on your arms pulled you even closer to her.

Your resistance was a futile battle and you finally surrendered to her but you fought not to moan as her tongue explored the cavern of your mouth, leaving you breathless and vulnerable. As Natasha moved her attention towards your neck, her lips and tongue trailing along the sensitive skin, you tilted your head back, submitting to her control.

Her lips left your neck as she leaned towards your ear, her words a low, seductive whisper.

“I shall be expecting to see you in my chambers tonight.”

⧗

The evening had arrived, and Natasha made her way to her chamber, fully expecting to find you there—in her bed in all your glory. However, as she entered the room, her eyes scanned the space, but you were nowhere to be seen. Her initial confusion quickly turned into seething anger as she realized you didn’t follow her command.

She wasted no time and stormed through the corridors, her patience wearing thin. It has been far too long, and she is determined to have you, one way or another. Her strides were purposeful and filled with seething anger, her mind set on one mission.

To find you and bring you to her bed.

As soon as she stepped into your chambers, her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light. She approached the figure lying in the bed, she leaned closer to get a better look of you, and when she dipped her knee to the soft bed, the figure suddenly moved, emitting a piercing scream. Startled, Natasha let out a gasp, quickly realizing it wasn’t you but your maid servant.

“Y-your Grace!” The maid servant rushed out apologetically as she immediately threw the thick covers out her body and stood.

“Where is Y/N? Why are you in the Queen’s bed?!” Natasha demanded.

“Queen Y/N noticed I-I wasn’t feeling well and…well, I am fine but-but the Queen insisted that I am not fine,” the maid servant’s hands flew in different direction as she tried to explain herself, “and she told me…she insisted that I should rest, right here, in her bed. And she left.” The maid servant scrambled, the words coming out in a rush from her lips not wanting to receive the seething anger of the King.

“Forgive me, your Grace…please.”

The maid servant's continuous apologies grew quieter as Natasha's attention shifted. Her gaze moved towards the window, where she spotted a figure dashing towards the garden maze. She instantly recognized it was you, and a sly smile tugged at her lips. Ignoring the maid servant, Natasha stepped towards the window of your chambers.

Once again, you found yourself racing through the labyrinthine maze, your breath coming in short gasps as you desperately sought an escape. The twists and turns of the paths seemed to taunt you, creating a confusing web to ensnare you. Fear and adrenaline coursed through your veins, your mind focused on one goal and that is to survive the night without having to spend it on the King’s bed.

Natasha’s voice echoed through the night, “Making a maid servant sleep in your own bed, just to fool me?”

Despite the gasp that escaped your lips at the sound of Natasha's seething voice, you refused to let it slow you down. Your legs propelled you forward, your bare feet pounding against the cool grass as you continued your race through the maze. There was no time for looking back, only the need to elude her pursuit.

“You were never ill, Y/N!”

As you ran through the maze, the tears of fear started to well up in your eyes, causing you to shut them tightly shut. The emotions coursing through you were overwhelming—fear, defiance, and the weight of the situation hitting you all at once. Yet, amidst it all, a small part of you stubbornly held onto the hope that you could somehow escape Natasha.

Just as you rounded a corner in the maze, a strong body suddenly locked onto you, arms encircling you like a vise grip. Caught off guard, you let out a gasp in surprise, struggling against the strong hold. The realization that Natasha had finally caught you struck you like a bolt of lightning.

“I knew you heard me that time…I never lied when I said I will make sure you’re full of my seed.”

In a swift and effortless motion, Natasha scooped you up and threw you in her shoulders, her strong grip on your thighs unyielding as she carried you to her chambers. You tried to resist, squirming and fighting against her, but her strength was undeniable. Despite your attempts to break free, it was clear that you had no chance of escape.

The game is no longer in your hands. It never was.

The guards stationed nearby stood at their positions, their eyes averted from the scene. They could only watch as Natasha carried you flailing in her arms, your screams piercing the air. Fear for their own lives kept them in place, knowing full well that they could have their heads off if they bothered to look in your direction.

“Lock the doors!” she barked, her tone leaving no room for questions. The guards obeyed, swiftly securing the chamber doors, sealing you and Natasha inside. Without a moment of hesitation, she hurled you onto her bed, the force of her throw causing you to bounce slightly upon the plush mattress.

“Strip,” she commanded in a low voice that made you shiver in fear, “Remove every piece of clothing you wear. I want to see my wife before me in all her naked glory. Do not forget to remove any trinkets or tokens you may be wearing.”

Your hands were shaking when you let your dress slip to the floor, revealing your vulnerable form, your body betrays you with gooseflesh. Tears well up in your eyes, spilling over and cascading down your cheeks.

Natasha watched, sitting at the bed as you stripped the last piece of clothing out of your body.

Her cold, green orbs leisurely take in every inch of your bare flesh. They linger on the fullness of your breasts, the pebbled peaks begging for her touch. Her gaze trails down to the small, dark mole at the side of your breast, a unique birthmark that she commits to memory.

Her eyes continue their languid descent, taking in the slight roundness of your belly soon to be full of her seed, the flare of your hips, and the soft curls at the juncture of your thighs. She studies the glistening evidence of your fear and humiliation, the pink folds of your pussy already swollen and slick.

The shame of your nakedness burns through you like a physical touch, amplified by the fact that Natasha remains fully clothed. Her silken robes and velvet cloak seem to mock your naked form, the heavy golden brooch at her shoulder a stark reminder of the game is now holding place in her hands.

A cruel smile plays on Natasha’s lips as she sees the shame and fear in your eyes. She rises once more, her tall form towering over you. Her hands go to the sash at her waist, undoing it with deliberate slowness.

The silk slithers to the floor, pooling around her feet. She begins to slowly unlace her leather breeches, her gaze locked with yours. As the garment falls away, revealing her hardened cock, you can't help but gulp, your eyes wide with trepidation.

She stepped closer to you, caressing your cheek. You didn't know why but you leaned in to her touch as she wiped the tears off your face. She looked at your glossy eyes before she leaned forward, her lips pressing against yours in a soft, yet commanding kiss. Your lips part instinctively, allowing her to sweep her tongue inside, claiming your mouth as hers.

“Open wider,” she demands, breaking the kiss to gaze down at you. She tilts your head back further, forcing your mouth open wider. She kisses you again, this time her tongue probing deeper, exploring the warmth of your mouth. She sucks on your bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth and biting down gently.

Your breath hitches, a soft whimper escaping your throat as her kiss becomes more intense. Her hands tangled in your hair and you can't help but moan softly, the sound muffled against her lips.

Natasha broke the kiss and sees the raw innocence in your eyes, the moisture making them glisten like jewels. Your lips are swollen and parted, a thin string of saliva stretching between them, quivering as you suck in ragged breaths. Her gaze darkens with lust and satisfaction.

“My bed has been lacking...heat,” she murmurs, her voice low and gravelly. She reaches out, wiping the saliva from your chin with her thumb. “And you, my sweet, are going to warm it tonight.”

You took a step backwards and tilt your head to the side to avoid her touch.

“You make it difficult,” she says, her voice tight with frustration, “to fulfill the one duty that should be simple. I have conquered cities, bent knees to mine, tamed dragons...And yet, you make it hard for me to plant my seed in your womb.”

“Am I just a bearer of your offspring?” You pinched your brows together, finally eyeing the King as the tears cascaded down your face.

“Yes,” she replied bluntly, undressing herself, “in this, you are.” As her clothing falls away, revealing her breasts and her tanned, muscular body, she meets your gaze squarely. “But know this, my sweet, you are not just any bearer.”

“You are my Queen—my own wife who dared to deceive and defy me,” she says as she steps forward, her eyes roaming over your body hungrily. “And when I have won, when you carry my child, you will be the mother of my heir.”

“And perhaps,” she says, her voice dropping to a near whisper as she leans over you, “when this is done, when my line is secured, you will be something more.” Her gaze holds yours captive. “But for tonight, you are simply the woman I must breed.”

Your heart shatters in your chest as she speaks those words. The cold, hard truth of her intent cuts deep, each word a knife twisting in your soul. You are not her beloved, her equal, but a tool, a vessel to bear her child and you knew it from the beginning.

Without you carrying her offspring, you are nothing.

Natasha then grabs you roughly, flipping you around and throwing you onto the bed. She climbs over you, positioning herself behind your ass.

With a sudden, brutal motion, she thrusts herself inside you, ignoring your cries of pain as she tears through your resisting body. She groans in satisfaction, her hands gripping your hips as she begins to rut into you with merciless force, her dragon's strength overpowering any objections you might have.

“You are mine now,” she growls, her breath hot against your ear. “No more defiance, no more resistance. You will bear my child, as is your purpose.” Each word is punctuated by a hard thrust, her hips slamming against your ass cheek with brutal intensity.

She pulls out of you suddenly, her thick cock glistening with your virgin blood. Natasha flips you over, pushing your hips in the bed. Her body pressed heavily against yours as she positioned herself between your legs. Without warning, she slams back into you, her dragon-sized cock splitting you open.

You're screaming now, your voice echoing off the walls as she fucks you with brutal, animalistic intensity.

She moves to silence your screams and releases your mouth long enough to trail her lips down your body, pausing to suckle at each breast roughly, her teeth scraping against your sensitive nipples.

“You are so tight around me, Y/N,” she groans, her voice low and possessive. “Your body was made just for my pleasure. Your virgin hole is so snug, clasping around me like a glove. You were made to be filled by me, to bear my children.”

Her hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider, allowing her to bury herself deeper. As she grinds her hips against yours, she leaned down and your hands immediately claw at her back, your fingernails digging into her skin.

Her muscled back flexes under your desperate, clawing hands. You feel each ridge of muscle, the hard strength of her. Despite the pain she's causing, despite the brutal taking, your body responds to her, your core clenching around her cock as you feel her powerful body move against yours.

“Y-your…Grace…” you called out for her, mouth open as she tore you apart. You held her neck and the silver locks of her hair, your legs crossed at her waist.

“You’re my Queen.” She growled in your ear.

“Yes, your Grace!” You cried out in pain and pleasure.

“Then you will take what I give you, you will be painted with my seed and soon enough you’ll bear my heir.”

Her words made your pussy clench even tighter around her massive cock. She feels it, her thrusts becoming even more powerful as she drives her seed deep into your womb.

She straightens up, her hands gripping your hips as she slams into you one final time. Her body stiffens, her head thrown back in a silent roar as she finds her release. She grinds her hips against yours, ensuring every drop is deep inside you.

Natasha pulls out of you slowly, her eyes locked onto your well-stretched opening. She watches as her seed begins to leak out mixing with your virgin blood, a possessive growl rumbling in her chest. Without hesitation, she pushes the escaping seed back inside with her slender fingers.

“My seed stays inside you,” she continues to push her fingers inside you, scooping up her own seed and forcing it back into your walls, making sure it's as deep inside you as possible. She repeats this process several times, her fingers pumping in and out of you as she ensures her claim is secure.

The sensation of her fingers pushing into you, combined with the gentle throbbing from her earlier pumps, becomes too much to bear. You can feel yourself growing more and more sensitive, the line between pleasure and pain blurring. You moan, your voice barely a whisper.

“Your Grace...it's too much…”

She ignores your plea, her voice dark as she murmurs, “It’s Natasha for you, my sweet.” Her fingers continue to push into your overstimulated hole, the motion causing you to convulse around her.

“Natasha…” you stammer, her name tumbling from your lips like a prayer as the intense sensation consumes you. Her name on your lips, filled with such raw emotion, makes her own stomach flutter.

You convulse violently, your body shaking uncontrollably as a gush of liquid spurts out from between your thighs. Natasha muffles her approval against your neck, her voice thick with satisfaction as she feels the evidence of your spend.

“Say it again,” she demands, her fingers continuing to pump into you as the aftershocks wrack your body. “Say my name like that again, Y/N.” Her own control is slipping, your words affecting Natasha more than she’d like to admit. You whimper, your voice hoarse.

"N-Natasha...Natasha...only...only you…” Each word is punctuated by a sharp breath as your body continues to spasm around her fingers. She lets out a low groan, her head dropping to your shoulder as she listens to you beg for her alone.

“You’re so good for me,” she praises, her voice rough with desire. She withdraws her fingers from your dripping pussy, bringing them to her mouth to clean them with a hungry suckle. Her eyes never leaving yours as she does so, drinking in the sight of her Queen overcome with pleasure.

“From now on, you will sleep in this same bed as mine so I can ensure that you remain well-bred every night.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff au #natasha romanoff fanfic #black widow x reader

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bamfkeeper · 2 days

Text

Winter Coat.

RQ: 'Saw your requests were open and I've gone through like 99% of your works so I just HAD to toss in a request (which, absolutely take your time on btw, I completely understand the burnout that can happen at the drop of a dime). I'm so impatient when it comes to weather and seasons that I desperately need it to be chilly autumn already. I'm sure you seen it but that one post about Kurt getting fluffier during autumn/winter got my gears turning. What do you think his reaction would be to a GN reader warming their hands in his fur? (Bonus prompt if reader can somehow get past all that lovely fur and touch his skin with freezing fingers ∩ω∩)' - @casualeylee

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader // Warnings: Slightly suggestive themes

A/N: I love the idea of him growing longer fur so I enjoyed this a lot. Quick little drabble for the upcoming cool months! I have a few requests for his fur, which was sweet to see, I adore him fuzzy. I hope you enjoy <3 WC: 1.3k

"Mein Gott, your hands are freezing, liebling," Kurt remarked with concern, his gaze settling on your hand as it awkwardly intertwined with his own. You sighed contentedly, leaning closer to him for warmth as the two of you strolled leisurely around the dying garden of the mansion. The once vibrant blooms were now succumbing to the colder weather, which was taking its toll on the plants. Yet, despite the garden's current state, you found yourself looking forward to the cold months ahead and the festive holidays they would bring.

"I know, I'm sorry," you admitted sheepishly, glancing up at him with a hint of regret. "I should've worn the mittens you told me to put on before we left..." You pouted slightly, chastising yourself for being so stubborn earlier. Kurt chuckled softly at your demeanor, his little smirk spreading warmth through you and making you shiver, though not from the cold. His amusement was infectious, and you couldn't help but smile back.

Kurt's tail gently ran under your shirt and wrapped around your waist, holding you even closer as you walked together through the chilly evening air. You couldn't help but notice how his tail felt slightly more fuzzy than usual, prompting your free hand to naturally reach out and stroke the soft fur. "Are you getting fuzzier?" you questioned with curiosity, suddenly eying his face and observing that his jaw seemed to have longer fur too, as if preparing for the colder months ahead.

"Ja, I get a thicker coat when it gets cold...you complain about my fuzz now, just wait until I have a full-on winter coat and I am shedding all over your favorite sweaters!" he laughed softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement at the thought of you dealing with a living room filled with his fur. The idea of him shedding more fur made you smile, envisioning the playful challenge it might bring. Even if it meant a bit of extra cleaning during the winter season.

"Your hand still feels cold, liebe," Kurt observed with concern, his eyes filled with the usual warmth as he looked down at you. Gently, he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you protectively. "I think our walk is done...you are going to freeze out here if we stay any longer," he stated with a hint of urgency in his voice. Not wanting you to endure the cold any further, he effortlessly teleported you both inside the expansive mansion, determined to stop your shivering.

Now, you found yourself comfortably seated on the plush couch in your shared bedroom. The luxurious room was spacious, adorned with elegant furnishings, and boasted a charming small fireplace that crackled softly. Only the older X-Men were privileged enough to have a room this nice, making you feel incredibly lucky, especially when you were currently shaking off the cold. As you sat in front of the gently flickering fire, its warmth slowly seeping into your chilled bones, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of happiness.

Kurt teleported back into the room with a soft purple haze enveloping him, his tail flicked away any remaining cloud as he walked over to you. He gently sat down beside you on the couch, causing the blanket that was draped around your shoulders to slip slightly as he made himself comfortable. He placed a steaming cup of hot chocolate on the small table beside the couch, its warmth and aroma inviting. “I made it just how you like.” Kurt noted and left it to cool off for a minute. You gave him a soft smile at the gesture, he always knew what to do to make you feel loved. He always went above what he needed to do, and that was one of the things you loved about him.

Kurt leaned back and went to wrap his arm around you, intending on pulling you closer to him to offer extra warmth to you before he paused. "Oh," he remarked thoughtfully, humming to himself and leaning back a bit to look at you, "Skin on fur might help..." With a slight shuffle, he began to remove his top, revealing his abdomen and chest. As he did so, you noticed that his skin had also grown more fuzzy.

You swallowed hard, feeling a mix of curiosity and admiration as you couldn't help yourself from eying his chest and abdomen. He stood before you, his attractive physique lean and toned, each muscle defined under the light from the fireplace. The fur that covered his body looked incredibly soft, inviting, you needed to have your hands on him. It was impossible to ignore the magnetic pull you felt towards his body at that moment. “Ah…you are growing a lot more already,” you rasped, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with an undertone of need. With a sense of awe and hesitancy, you reached out, your fingers trembling slightly as they made contact with his warm skin. Slowly, you let your hand trail up, starting from his belly button and moving upwards to his chest.

You swallowed nervously, feeling the firm and defined muscles beneath his soft fur, and as you did, you began to have some difficulty controlling your thoughts, which started to wander in unexpected directions. Kurt laid his hand gently over yours as you felt the warmth of his chest, his intense yellow eyes fixed on you with a playful grin. “Naughty…I know what you’re thinking. You always get this look in your eye…sinner,” he said with a teasing tone, his voice low and playful. His words and the cheeky way he spoke made your face heat up even more, feeling more flustered since you were practically feeling him up.

"Shut up...your fur is really warm on my hands...that's all." You muttered embarrassingly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, your hands continuing to slowly rub his chest and feel the fur there. It was so incredibly soft, the longer bits curled around your skin, inviting your nosy fingertips to dig even farther into his fur, seeking more warmth and comfort in every stroke.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked with a slight smirk, sitting still as you explored him with that stupid grin, allowing you to continue your gentle exploration. He opened his mouth for another teasing comment, but his breath hitched quickly as your freezing fingers unexpectedly found their way to his skin. "Ach...- Liebling..." he murmured, his voice tinged with a mix of surprise and endearment.

"What? Did I find something?" you asked with a mischievous grin, your turn to be cheeky now. You intentionally let your fingers wander over his skin, which was so incredibly, so wonderfully warm. With a playful determination, you weaseled your hands against his skin, feeling the contrast of your cool touch against his heat. Snuggling even closer to him, you couldn't help but smile as Kurt laughed and squirmed a little from the unexpected cold sensation of your fingers dancing across his body.

"The things I let you do to me..." he huffed, though there was a fondness in his voice, as he held you even closer to him. His arms and tail wrapped securely around your body, pulling you into a protective and affectionate embrace. While he often teases you relentlessly, it's always in good fun, because at the end of the day, he truly loves you. He is more than willing to suffer through the icy touch of your fingertips against his warm, sensitive, ticklish skin, as long as it brings a smile to your face and you enjoy every moment of it.

"Ach! Liebe!" he exclaimed, jerking up slightly in surprise as you playfully moved your fingertips to the sensitive sides of his ribcage. His reaction was both amusing and endearing, and you couldn't help but giggle at how it caught him off guard.

He looked down with a soft, affectionate smile, acknowledging your mischievousness with a twinkle in his eyes. "Cheeky thing..."

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover image: Nick Robles art credit, other images Pinterest.

#kurt wagner #nightcrawler #nightcrawler x reader #kurt wagner x reader #xmen #x men #x men 97 #🎠my works

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alotofpockets · 16 hours

Text

The Tooney and Russo Show | Alessia Russo x Williamson!Reader, Leah Williamson x Sister!Reader & Ella Toone x Platonic!Reader

Where you take over hosting The Tooney & Russo show when Vick is sick.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.2k

-----

“Tooney, you’ve made it!” Alessia stood up and hugged her best friend. You were meeting Ella for breakfast before heading to the studio to film their last podcast episode for the season. “How was the trip?” You asked after you gave her a hug as well.

Ella sat down with a sigh, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the tube is not my friend.” You shared a knowing look with your girlfriend before you both chuckled, Ella and tubes didn’t go together, and she would complain about them every single time. Alessia and Vick had offered to get a studio in Manchester and make the trip over, but Ella insisted that it was more practical if only one person would have to travel. Yet, she often brought her boyfriend with her, so the one person only rule rarely applied. Either way, it was always great when Ella was in town.

“Is Leah not here yet?” You shake your head, “You know my sister, always a busy schedule.” The two Lionesses nodded in agreement, “She said she’d join us when her meeting was done though.”

Just when your food was delivered to the table, Leah made her way through the door. “Sorry I’m late.” You all greet her with a hug and wave off her apologies. The four of you were having a great time chatting over breakfast, when both Alessia’s and Ella’s phones buzzed at the same time. It was a message from Vick, letting them know that she’s sick to the point where she has lost her voice, so she won’t be able to make it to the shoot.

While Alessia and Ella started discussing their options, you were thinking. “I can host it.” Three pairs of eyes met you in question. “Come on, it will be fun! I know all of you, and the fans know me as well.” It didn’t take much to convince them of your idea.

“Hello and welcome to this very special episode of The Tooney and Russo Show with me not Vick Hope.” Alessia and Ella cheered excitedly and Alessia announced “It’s the season finale!”

“As you can hear and see, I am not Vick. Sadly Vick had to miss out because she’s sick, but I am here to step in. My name is Y/n Williamson, and yes the last name should tell you all you need to know. Speaking of Williamson’s, I am not the only one of them here today. My sister, Captain of the Lionesses, Leah Williamson is our guest for this episode.”

The four of you chat for a bit about the relationship with Leah on and off the pitch. It was an easy environment and it felt like it was just a chat between friends, which of course really it was.

“Oh and before any of you start saying Tooney is the third wheel because Y/n is my girlfriend and Leah’s sister.” She looked between the two of you with a chuckle, “Let me tell you that those two are like the same person.”

“They really are.” Leah chimes in. “Sometimes when I see Y/n with Ella and Alessia, I think she might be dating Ella instead.”

“In another life.” You joke, getting a laugh out of the Lionesses trio. “Yeah, we are pretty similar. We have the same sense of humour, and have a lot of the same opinions on things. When Less started dating her, I was afraid that maybe my bond with Less would be affected, but I think Y/n made us even closer.”

“Yeah, sometimes I even feel like the third wheel with them.” Alessia laughs. “But you love it.” Ella says in defence. “Yeah I do, I’m glad the two of you get along so well.”

“At this point, I think we annoy Leah and Alessia equally.” You say proudly, and Ella agrees with you. ”You two are a nightmare when you team up against us.” Leah says teasingly. “But we love you.” Alessia follows up quickly.

When everyone was done laughing you moved onto the next topic. You asked about them winning the Euros and how football changed in England after, and how Alessia’s move from United to Arsenal was through the perspective of her former and new club teammate.

“I actually had a question for you, Y/n.” Ella put out into the group. “What’s it like having the England captain, the woman that is the face of English football, as your sister?”

“That is an interesting question actually. I admire her for everything she has done and is doing, and I am so proud of her and to be her sister, but at home she’s just my sister. We still argue about who gets the last ham sandwich, and who took the last cookie from the jar.” You joke.”

“Oh yeah,” Alessia hooks on, “The love for ham sandwiches runs in the family, it’s not just Leah.”

“I’ve got another question!” Ella perks up. You chuckle, “If you wanted to host, you could’ve just said so.” She sends you a challenging look, before biting back. “Wouldn’t have to if you did your job right.” You chuckle, “Okay fine, you win this one. What’s your question?”

“Well, I know the story, but I’ve seen some comments from fans wanting to hear how Less and Y/n got together, with Leah being Less her captain and all.” You glance at Alessia, letting her speak for the both of you.

“Oh that is an interesting one. Many people think Leah wouldn’t have liked us getting together, but she actually told me to ask Y/n out.” Leah nodded, “Yeah, they kept looking at each other with heart eyes, and I couldn’t take their pining any longer. Every time I was trying to eat my ham sandwich in peace, they would just be all gross.”

You raised your shoulders, “Even I was shocked when Less told me that Leah approved. Now it makes sense though. Leah has always protected me and Jacob, and wants us to be happy. She knows Less and knew that she would treat me right.”

“Alright alright, we get it love birds, don’t ruin my appetite for lunch with your sappiness.” Leah jokes. “Speaking of lunch, I think we’re about ready to go have some. Thank you everyone who has stuck with the Tooney and Russo Show all season, personally I cannot wait for them to start on another season. As always, send in your questions and it could be featured in one of the next episodes!”

As you finished your sentence, the three girls waved to the camera and said bye. The cameras and microphones got turned off, and that concluded the first season of the podcast. “That was so fun!” Leah agreed, “Yeah, thank you so much for letting me be a part of this.”

After the four finished lunch, you went your separate ways again. You and Alessia made your way home, her hand in yours as you strolled the streets. “You were a natural, darling.” You smiled, “Yeah? It was a lot of fun, thank you for allowing me to join you.”

“Mhm! Vick might fear for her job when she sees the episode.” Your girlfriend jokes with a little nudge to your shoulder. “Hmm, as much as I loved hosting, Vick is a much better host. Plus that way I can just sit behind the scenes and look at you with heart eyes all episode.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

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toadtoru · 3 days

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HOW TO INTERACT WITH WRITERS AND ARTISTS: A GUIDE

Hello! We all know that there is a steady decline in interactions and reblogs in fandom and I think a lot of new readers are very nervous to interact with artists on here. So as a somewhat seasoned Tumblr user, I figured I’d make a little guide for those who might feel they need it. :D

Disclaimer: This is by no means a rulebook or a demand. I am not forcing you to do any of these things. This is simply meant to be helpful towards those who might be new to the app or are nervous about interacting with people. Also: Since I write fanfiction, most of these examples are gonna be rooted in fanfiction. However, this can be applied to any other form of art on here as well!

FIRST OF ALL:

Customize your blog. A lot of people think blank blogs are bots. It doesn’t have to be a big thing but go on Pinterest, and find a cute profile pic. Choose a cool colour. Give your blog some personality.

It is completely fine and normal to want to remain anonymous on here. If you want you can choose a cool pseudonym (Alba is not my real name and I know for a fact that most of my mutuals’ “names” are pseudonyms.) but your blog can also just remain nameless.

If you are going to interact with NSFW fics and art I highly recommend putting your age in your bio. A lot of NSFW artists are not comfortable interacting with minors and ageless blogs and will block you if you don’t have your age somewhere.

It’s important to remember that writers and artists love interactions! We are here because we love a certain media and want to talk about it.

Secondly, Tumblr is not Instagram or TikTok. There are no “tumblr influencers”. Most of us are just normal people who do this as a hobby.

While it’s completely okay and normal to look up to someone or admire someone’s work, try not to put people on pedestals.

Lastly, fan fiction and art do not have a time limit. It doesn’t matter if it was posted yesterday, a year ago or ten years ago. It cannot expire. The love you feel for it now is just as valid as the love someone felt for it ten years ago. So please do not hesitate to interact with art just because it was posted a while ago.

THE BIG NO-NO’S:

“Part two?” It’s fair that you’re excited about a fic and want to read more, but simply just asking for part two without saying anything else can make a writer feel bad. We are not robots or content machines.

“X is stupid” “Your characterization is bad” “X wouldn’t do this” It’s okay to not like someone’s fic or art but commenting that it is bad or that you don’t agree is not okay. If you don’t like a fic you click off. If you don’t like someone’s takes or posts, you block them. You are responsible for curating your own online experience. Block what annoys you and move on.

Hate anons. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but people still do it so I’m gonna say it anyway. Don’t send hate anon to people’s inboxes.

Don’t demand things. “When is the next part coming out?” “You promised you’d post” etc. Life happens. Most of us have school or jobs or both.

Use Character AI, Chatbot, etc. Do not use AI. Do not put other people’s art into AI machines without their permission or knowledge. AI steals people’s writing and art. Do not use it to finish unfinished fics for you, do not use it to get a part two, do not use it.

Do not repost* art without permission. Do not repost art on other platforms. Do not post people’s fics on Wattpad or other platforms without permission. Do not post artists’ art on Pinterest or TikTok without permission. Do not translate writers’ fics without permission.

*Note: reposts and reblogs are not the same. A reblog is when you press the 🔁 button at the bottom of a post. This is encouraged. Reposts are when you make your own post with the stolen art.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Reblogs. Reblogs, reblogs, reblogs. Reblogs. I cannot stress this enough. Tumblr’ algorithm sucks and sometimes posts don’t show up in tags. When you reblog someone's art you help more people see it!

Also, reblogs do not only help the artist but it also helps you! You can create a tag system on your account so you easily can find works you liked again. It’s much easier to find reblogged works than it is to go through your 300 liked posts. (Also if an artist deactivates you will still have the post instead of it disappearing.)

Comment on people’s art! Tell them what you liked! I promise you it will make their day!

Ask questions! Did you notice a specific choice the artist made that you found interesting? Is there something that intrigued you or you want to know more about?

BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY?

It’s important to remember that your support does not have to be some profound intellectual conversation. This is Tumblr, we’re all just having fun.

“I loved this!” “Your writing is amazing!” “This art is so pretty!” “The way you draw/characterize X character is cool!”

What did the art make you feel? “This made me happy” “This made me sad” Your emotions about the piece do not have to be positive. If someone wrote a 6k fic about the SatoSugu breakup then their goal probably wasn’t to make you feel joyous. Tell them how you feel! It will make them happy to know that their art evoked emotions in you.

Predictions! Did you catch some foreshadowing? What do you think happens in the next chapter? It's super fun as a writer to read what people think is going to happen!

Okay, folks. I think that’s all I have for you. Remember that we’re all just here to have fun. We want to interact with you. Reblog and comment on the fics you like! Send your thoughts to people’s inboxes! Once you get over that initial fear, I promise you, it becomes so much more fun. Fandom is supposed to be fun.

#how do i tag this #uhhh #fanfiction #writers on tumblr #fandom #writing #writing community #???#idk man #i hope this helps someone #:D #i love you

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wttcsms · 1 day

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if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: [email protected] To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected] + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All —

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule.

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off.

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.)

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you.

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit.

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms.

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty.

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts.

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words.

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment]

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested.

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media.

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.”

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know,

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.”

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.”

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming.

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything.

Late in the afternoon, you get another text.

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense.

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out?

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world.

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity.

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living.

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days.

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home?

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too.

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :)

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM.

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her.

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend.

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words.

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be.

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her.

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you.

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table.

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day.

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her.

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.”

“Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy.

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.”

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress.

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could.

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.”

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?”

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation.

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?”

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him.

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?”

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks.

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together.

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers.

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend.

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.”

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion.

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk).

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned.

“Never better.”

“Do you have a ride home?”

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say.

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking.

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge.

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.)

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly.

“Let me take you home.”

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.”

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early.

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].”

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever.

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car.

No.

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up.

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!”

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!”

“Then why were your hands all over me?”

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet.

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint.

He blinks. “What?”

“What?” You repeat back, innocently.

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back.

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup.

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.”

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks.

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway.

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back.

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces.

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?”

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps.

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.”

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets.

“Do you really want me to stay?”

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

#yoichi isagi x reader #yoichi isagi x you #isagi x reader #one shot #fluff #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #rin itoshi x reader #smau #series: if you feel like falling

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hwaslayer · 1 day

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vivrant thing (jwy) | three.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual.

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, smut

—WORD COUNT: 6.6k

—CHAPTER CONTENT / WARNINGS: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, dinner w/ yeosang!, feelings are laid out oof, alcohol consumption & slight intoxication, a bit more of jiwoo vs. wooyoung, use of pet names (princess, love, baby girl, baby), lots and lots of kissing, making out, mentions of marking, some dry humping, unprotected sex, slow sweet sex??, wooyoung pulls out 🫢

So, you agree to the dinner with Yeosang but you don't expect how terrible it ends up playing out.

At first, it starts off well.

It felt like dinner wouldn't be so bad, and you enjoyed seeing Yeosang being his usual self from the car ride up to the restaurant. When he pulls into a spot in the parking lot and helps you out of the car, there is a bit of a difference in Yeosang's attitude. He slides his hand into yours as he leads the way into the restaurant and as much as you adore your bestfriend, it feels incredibly unnatural.

It surely doesn't feel like Wooyoung's, but you shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

He continues to loosely hold your hand until the host brings you to a table near the back end of the restaurant. You didn't think tonight's dinner would be so fancy, but you were in your business casual attire straight out of work; it ended up working out well in the end. You scoot into the booth, with Yeosang on the other side. He immediately orders a bottle of white wine, which isn't really to your liking as you've learned, but you'll make do with what you have— especially to get through this dinner.

You order appetizers along with your main courses, indulging in good conversation with Yeosang as he tells you work updates and how he's being dragged to this really important meeting over the weekend with the board of directors by his team lead.

It's all good. It's all fun and casual, until it isn't.

Meanwhile, Jiwoo stops by her brother's apartment to drop off some sushi from his favorite Japanese restaurant. It's her way of saying 'thank you' without actually having to say it out loud.

"What now?" Wooyoung swings his door open to see his sister standing there with a bag of food.

"Hi to you, too." She drops it on his kitchen counter. "Bought you food from Sushi Kashiwa."

"Aw, just say it." He pretends to pout while she gives him a disgusted look and unties the bag.

"No. Besides, I bought myself some food and am gonna enjoy it right here." She lays out the containers and grabs her own. "My friends decided to leave me out of a very important dinner tonight."

"What are you talking about?" He pops open the lid to his sushi container and wastes no time digging in.

"Y/N went to dinner with Yeosang. I guess to talk about stuff going on between them, I don't know." Wooyoung pauses mid-chew, the statement hitting him right in his gut. He's not sure why he's sad— maybe he's right after all. Maybe this just ended up being a temporary one night thing that would eventually wash away.

Sucks it doesn't necessarily feel that way for Wooyoung.

He can't assume, though. Hopefully, you're talking to Yeosang and giving him the honest 'i think we should just stay friends' talk instead of the 'let's just see where this goes' talk. He'd appreciate the universe if it could give him this one thing; he'll stop running his parents' last nerve and will never look at a booty ever again.

Maybe.

"Oh." Is all Wooyoung says before stuffing another piece into his mouth. "Why would you even be there, Jiwoo? That doesn't concern you."

"Anything with my friends concerns me."

"Let them talk it out without your loud, nosey ass interrupting." She rolls her eyes, scrolling through her phone as she also continues to eat.

"I haven't gotten any new texts from her. I wonder if it's going well. Maybe they're gonna explore this after all."

"Who says?" Wooyoung responds a little too quickly, a little too sharply, for his liking. His sister doesn't seem to catch on, though. That's great.

"I dunno, beats me. I'm just taking all angles into consideration."

"Stop projecting. She seemed to be pretty set on her decision at the party."

"You never know." She says in a sing-song tone that irks Wooyoung a little more than usual this evening. "You're right, though. She is set on her decision. I just hope he takes it well." She sets her phone aside. "Anyway. How'd you like the party?"

"Gotta admit, it was fun."

"You really looked like Y/N's date. I had a few people ask me if you two were dating."

"Uh, I mean I was her date? And why would they ask when I already told them yes?" He jokes, just to push his sister's buttons.

"No way." Jiwoo continues to eat away at her food, texting Hongjoong in the midst of it. "Y/N is too good for you."

"No one is too good for anyone. Don't speak on shit you don't know."

"I know her!"

"And I know her, too!"

"I know her the best." Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

"Still doesn't mean you know everything about her."

"Ew, why are you getting so defensive tonight?" He shakes his head, feeling the irritation within him grow the more Jiwoo presses it. He knows he isn't the best man to walk this Earth, but he also knows he'd be good to you. Good for you. He's been thinking about it a lot and he hates that he is— none of this makes sense to him, but he knows he'd be good.

"Don't you have to go see Hongjoong?"

"Once he's off, yeah." Jiwoo sips on her water. "What're you doing tonight? Getting into more shit with Choi San?"

"No, he's actually visiting his parents."

"Hm." She hums. "No booty call coming over?"

"No. Even if there was, you would not be getting that information." She scoffs.

"Grow up, Wooyoung."

"Grow up, Wooyoung." He mocks her. "Says the one who made the wild claim based off of nothing."

"You're so annoying." She tosses her sushi container into his trash before washing her cup of water. Despite their usual bickering, Jiwoo stays for a bit longer until Hongjoong texts her and lets her know he's finally off of work after putting in some overtime. Jiwoo helps tidy up Wooyoung's space before she's waving goodbye [aka flipping him off] and slamming his door shut. Wooyoung plops back onto his couch with the remainder of his food resting on the coffee table, scrolling through his phone. He goes through your texts, wondering if he should say anything or keep silent. He smiles to himself when he sees the pictures you've passed along from the photographer. He sees you've posted the picture with him on your Instagram and it tugs at his heart because not only do you rarely use Instagram, but you took that opportunity to post your pictures from the party— including the one where you've got your hand resting on his chest while he has an arm around you. He was happy to see you happy and comfortable. Having fun.

You glowed.

He'll never forget it.

—OLD TEXTS

you: hi! they uploaded the pics from the party!

you: *sends a group of pics at once*

wooyoung: yo goddamn!? we look good!

wooyoung: you look so pretty. 😍

you: 😀 stop !!

wooyoung: i'm so serious, good LORD. 😮‍💨

you: i'm blocking you.....

wooyoung: woah now, hey i'm kiddddding....

wooyoung: not really! but don't block me! i just can't help it!

you: you're too much 😂

wooyoung: can i post these?

you: go for it!

wooyoung: thank you ☺️

He sighs as he reaches the end of the thread.

He won't say anything. He'll let this unfold as it should, but it doesn't mean he can't be sad about it. Cause he sure as hell is and he's a bit anxious. Hopefully, you'll tell Yeosang the truth. Hopefully, you won't force yourself into anything you don't want or feel uncomfortable with.

As for you, the dinner really takes its turn for the worse after you and Yeosang eat away at your main meals, a pregnant silence falling between you two after a good hour of just talking and yapping away about life. You already knew it was coming at this point, you were just hoping you'd buy a little more time [as if you could put it off even more].

"So." He says awkwardly to cut the silence.

"Mhm?"

"Did you really enjoy the party?"

"I did. Did you?"

"Yeah. I just—" He looks at you with his head cocked to the side. "I was just surprised seeing you with Wooyoung." You pause before poking at your pasta and taking a small bite.

"Oh yeah, it was relatively last minute."

"Jiwoo's plan?"

"Why do you say that? Do you genuinely think Wooyoung wouldn't go with me?" You ask, a little offended at the way he sounds cause even though it was clearly planned and arranged, the insinuation from Yeosang doesn't hurt any less.

"No, not like that— I'm sorry, it came out of nowhere and caught me off guard. That's all." You cock a brow up.

"It just happened that way. Wooyoung wanted to go and I wanted to go in the end." Is all you respond with, chugging your second glass of wine before pouring yourself more. You really don't like the taste of this white wine either, but you'll take it cause it's better than sitting here without an ounce of alcohol to push you through. Give you more courage to finish the evening on a decent note, to be honest. "I had a really fun time, regardless."

"I saw." He pauses. "I wish you would've at least told me instead of showing up like that."

"I'm sorry."

"I think it's time for me to be honest and stop watching from the sidelines because I.. really like you, Y/N." His shoulders droop just as he sets his fork and knife down neatly onto the plate. You take the last bite of your meal before sipping on more wine to wash it down.

"I should have told you, but I didn't want to hurt you. Even if I did tell you, it wouldn't have changed anything."

"It wouldn't? Why wouldn't it have changed anything? I thought we might've had a chance." He's confused. He looks like he was expecting a completely different outcome, and that might've been your fault for not telling him right away. But, the moment is here now and you know you can't push it off any longer.

"No. I just.. I just can't, Yeo. I'm sorry." You barely get yourself to respond out of fear. You knew Yeosang wasn't the type to react— if anything, he'd be the most understanding. Though, it doesn't change the fact that you were still scared. You felt bad. You didn't want to hurt him, and you wanted to avoid this confrontation as much as possible even though you knew you needed to face it sooner than later. "I truthfully think we're good with where we're at, and I don't think we should mess that up. I love the way we are as good friends, bestfriends, and that's how I've always seen us." You can see the disappointment growing on his face every second, but he's trying hard to keep it under wraps while he briefly waves the waitress down for the check.

"C-can I ask? You can be honest." You silently nod. "Is it Wooyoung?" You shake your head.

"It was never about Wooyoung. Just us. Well, me. You're amazing, and you deserve the best. You deserve someone who is sure about you and who will reciprocate those feelings to no end. I'm sorry that I can't be that person, but at the same time, I know I can be your friend just like I always have been. That's what I can give you, and I hope you understand." You tell him softly. "I'm sorry." You repeat, feeling the tears brimming your bottom lids. "I should've opened up earlier. I really hope this doesn't change things between us."

"It won't, but I hope you understand it'll take me some time to move past it. I'm sorry for assuming or for— yeah." He shakes his thoughts away.

"Take all the time you need." He gives you a tiny, toothless smile.

"Anyway." Yeosang signs off on the receipt before tucking his card back into his wallet and standing. "Let's get you home."

"Okay." You shimmy out of the booth to head out of the restaurant. This time, Yeosang doesn't hold your hand. In fact, he trails behind you, keeping at a safe distance. You can immediately see the change— how stiff and awkward he's become. You don't blame him for it; he's hurting and you know he needs his space more than anything.

You can't wait to get home.

The ride is fucking awful. It's the most quiet you've seen Yeosang. The most closed-off and serious he's ever been towards you. His hand is clutching the wheel tightly, but the music is comforting enough to fill the void. You continue to look out of the passenger's window, keeping to yourself until Yeosang asks about your plans for the rest of the weekend. There isn't much going on for you, so that conversation dies quickly. Luckily for you, Yeosang is about to pull up to your street. He stops the car by your building, shifting the gear to park before helping you out of the car. You give him a small, sympathetic smile before pulling him into a hug— giving his back a gentle rub.

"Sleep well, alright? I'll see you next week."

"You too." With that, he walks off, waiting until you at least unlock and crack your door open. When you get a whiff of your candle that you lit up earlier in the morning, you realize you don't really wanna stay home right now; to sulk, to drown in your thoughts alone, to have to listen to the loudness in a quiet space. So, you shut the door again, head back down the steps and walk to the convenience store nearby. You grab a bottle of yogurt soju, along with your favorite chips and strawberry cheesecake ice cream bar— plopping yourself down onto one of the tables right outside the store. You're quick to crack open the bottle and drink away, also eating away at the chips since you didn't feel incredibly satisfied with the dinner earlier. It might've just been all the emotions and tension in the air, but anywho, the chips and the soju taste better than ever. Sooner or later, you find yourself tipsier, cheeks lit on fire, hands clammy; barely hitting the halfway point with the soju bottle. You lazily scroll through your phone as you begin to eat away at the ice cream bar, revisiting those party pictures.

You wonder what Wooyoung is doing, but you shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

"Ugh." You whine and pout to yourself, pulling up your texts to see if Jiwoo can come to your rescue. You opted for listing Jiwoo and Wooyoung as Jung 1 and Jung 2 to keep it easy and simple; except, it obviously doesn't work well in this case when you accidentally pull up the text with Jung 2 instead of Jung 1 while you wipe away at the tears that suddenly begin to stream down your cheeks.

you: oof .... that dinner was kinda awful i feel terrible

you: kinda?! not even kinda it WAS awfullll

you: i'm sitting outside of our fav convenience store by my olace

you: eating strawberry cheesecake ice cfream!!

you: jiwooooooo

you: jung 1!!!!

Wooyoung furrows his brows at the constant dinging of his phone, unsure of who the hell could be blowing up his phone right now. He even sits for a minute, wondering if there's anybody he's pissed off in the last few days [besides his sister].

"Hm." He hums when he comes up with nothing, nobody. He picks up the phone and scrolls through the previews, chuckling to himself when he sees your name pop up on the screen. Clearly by accident.

you: jiwoo jung 1 pls help come to my rescue it was not good! idk if yeo n i will be friens still ☹️☹️☹️

wooyoung: sorry to break it to you sweetheart, but this is jung 2. 😙

wooyoung: also i won't hold it against you that i've been slotted as number 2 when i should be number 1 esp after the party. 🫤 but it's cool or whatever......

You squint at the brightness of your phone, slowly eating away at your strawberry cheesecake ice cream bar. You almost drop the damn thing when you realize you've actually been blowing up the wrong phone, horrified it had to be Wooyoung, too.

He must think you're a gem, truly.

He does, though. In a very good, non-sarcastic way.

you: omggg i'm so sorry wooyoung jung 2 ☹️

you: i mean jung 1 technically

wooyoung: lol no worries, don't be sorry. you okay?

you: yes but no?

wooyoung: stay put.

You cock a brow up in confusion, wondering if Wooyoung was telling you to stay put because he was on his way or because he just needed you to get yourself together. You listen anyway, sitting on the little chair outside of the convenience store, silently eating away at your ice cream with your phone lit on your lap. You completely forget about texting Jiwoo amidst all of this, assuming she's busy anyway. The wind is slowly picking up, cooling the tip of your nose and surface of your cheeks— settling the heat from the soju. You shiver and run a hand down your arm, hoping the wind slows in between its waves. You continue to mindlessly scroll through your phone, even picking up your game of Wordle for the day. Just as you get lost in thought, a car parks in a spot in between your building and the convenience store. You look up as you bite into the last of your ice cream bar, hearing the muffled bass from the music in the car. Wooyoung steps out in a grey hoodie and matching sweats, a black beanie on his head. He approaches you with a small smile with his hands dug deep into his pockets, crouching to your level as he continues to look at you.

"W-Wooyoung." You hiccup as you sit on the bench, setting your trash down next to you. Wooyoung gives you a small smile, thumb wiping away at your tears.

"Wanna tell me why you've been out here eating ice cream alone?" He eyes your snacks of choice. "And.. a half bottle of soju and chips? I thought you had dinner with Yeosang."

"I did, and it was terrible and sad." You sniff. "Well, not the food. I just couldn't enjoy it as much. I even tried to drink that bitter white wine he ordered just to get me through."

"And you're drinking soju now? Really must have been that bad."

"Bad bad." You pout and he laughs.

"I'm sorry." He gives your thigh a gentle squeeze before patting it. "Come on, let's get you home." He stands, holding out his hand. You gladly take it in yours, his thumb swiping over your knuckles in an attempt to try and warm it up. He grabs the soju and the chips in his other, leading the way to your building. He quietly heads up the steps, stepping aside and letting go of your hand to let you open your door. When you step back into the warmth of your studio, you instantly kick off your shoes and slip into your slippers—lighting up your candle to bring more heat into the room.

"I'm gonna set your chips and soju aside." Wooyoung says, tightly tying your chips close so it doesn't get stale before setting your bottle of soju aside in the fridge.

"Thank you." You set your bag down and let out a sigh.

"Glad I was able to get you home safely." He chuckles a bit, jingling his keys in his hand. You don't want Wooyoung to leave, especially after he made the effort to get dressed and come to your rescue.

"Wooyoung?" He cocks a brow up when you turn to face him. "Can you stay?" He takes a moment before he nods, unsure how he could turn you down with you looking up at him that way.

So innocently. So delicately. Eyes yearning for company you can be comforted with, need to be comforted with.

"Yeah, of course. As long as you're okay with me poking around and making some food." You giggle and nod.

"Go for it." You grab your pajamas. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. Feel free to get comfortable and flip through the channels." You turn on the TV for him before shutting yourself within the bathroom walls to shower and get comfy for the evening.

As you shower and get ready for bed that evening, you hear Wooyoung humming and singing a Blackstreet song to himself in your kitchen. After brushing your teeth, you finish up the last of your skincare routine before heading back outside.

"Finally." Wooyoung turns over his shoulder and quickly scans you from head to toe. "I was getting lonely."

"I didn't even take that long."

"It was long. You and Jiwoo take the longest showers known to man." He frowns a bit, making you giggle to yourself. You plop on your couch, now in your oversized crewneck and pajama pants. You're no longer tipsy, probably a little too sober for your liking especially knowing Wooyoung is in your studio. You do find his company comforting, though. You feel bad he had to come and rescue you, but you'd rather be here than anywhere else after that dinner with Yeosang. You tuck your legs to your chest, flipping through the tv channels only to land on Kiki's Delivery Service. It's already 20 minutes in, but it doesn't bother you knowing the movie so well. Wooyoung is still going through your stash of food, pulling out a bowl of jajangmyeon. While he waits for the hot water to properly cook the noodles, he dices up some pickled radish and some cucumbers, and quickly boils two eggs to perfection. When the noodles are done, he sets everything into the bowl neatly before grabbing a cold water bottle and plopping onto the couch next to you.

"What'd you do today?" You look at him just as he starts digging into the bowl.

"Work. Then Jiwoo came earlier in the night with some food from my favorite Japanese spot."

"Sushi Kashiwa?"

"Aw, you know?" Wooyoung smirks.

"Because Jiwoo has mentioned it one too many times." You chuckle. "That's cute, though."

"She only did it cause she was waiting for Hongjoong to get out of work. And to kiss my ass about the party."

"And because she loves you." He fake shivers.

"Ew. Please don't say that again." He looks at you and you snort. "Want a bite? I made it for us to share in case you were still hungry." He edges his chopsticks your way, watching as you shake your head in response.

"I'm good. Thank you though, Woo."

"Suit yourself, princess. I whipped up a good one." You laugh, settling into the couch as you continue to watch the movie. Wooyoung catches you slipping your sleeves over your palms in his peripherals and although he's pretty warm and cozy in your studio, you must still feel cold. He hurriedly slurps up the remaining of the noodles before gulping the entirety of his water bottle down. He lets out a noise that makes you laugh, kicking his head back in satisfaction. "Damn, that was good."

"Glad you enjoyed." You poke his arm and he smiles. "Is this movie okay with you?"

"Yeah, of course. Can never go wrong with Studio Ghibli movies. Unless, you're down to watch something scary?"

"Never."

"Why not? I'm here."

"But, whatever scary movie we'll watch, it'll live in my head for the next few days and you won't be here."

"I could be, you just have to call me and I'll come. Like tonight."

"Wooyoung." You pout. "Today's was an accident."

"So, you didn't want me to come? That's funny, cause I didn't see another text from you after I told you to stay put, baby girl." He smirks and you shake your head shyly.

"I'm sorry." You continue to fiddle with your sleeves.

"Don't be. I'm just teasing, I wanted to come."

"Thank you. I needed it." You finally manage to let out as you look at him and scooch a little closer. He gives you a tiny smile before shifting his attention back to the TV, the both of you engaging in small talk about the characters here and there.

At some point, Wooyoung subtly inches in and closes off any gaps, quietly slipping his arm behind you. You silently chuckle to yourself when you see him playing it off, acting as if he hadn't done anything to get closer to you. But, the whole thing feels.. nice. It feels safe. It feels warm. Wooyoung really isn't expecting anything out of this— he is testing the waters to see how comfortable you'd be with him, but that's truly it. That's the intention. Just to make you feel comfortable and better after tonight's dinner. He definitely wasn't expecting you to lean your head against him, snuggling up to him as closely as possible.

"You okay? Comfortable?" He asks softly. You look up at him and nod, settling back into your position on him.

"Mhm. You're warm." He laughs a bit when he hears that, keeping you close. As the movie continues with the both of you watching silently, you find yourself shifting in your position; arm fully coming around Wooyoung's torso. He doesn't mind one bit. As a matter of fact, he loves that you've gotten comfortable enough to do so.

He drops his arm down from the edge of the couch, holding you from behind as the movie continues to play. He gently rubs at your side before his hand falls to your hips. You feel Wooyoung's hand gently squeeze at it before sneaking right underneath your sweater. You freeze, but more so because you're surprised by his touch— not because you don't want him to be right where he is.

"Are you feeling better?"

"I don't know. I just feel bad." You say, eyes still on the TV ahead while you slowly began to relax in his hold.

"You were honest with him, right?" Wooyoung asks as a simple way to poke for more information and get you to open up about dinner. "Wanna tell me how the dinner went?" He traces faint, soft circles on your bare side.

"I was, and I guess that's why I feel bad. It started off fine. We went to the restaurant and we were talking as we always do. Random topics, jokes, going on about life updates. It went downhill when we got our food. It was quiet for a little bit and I knew he was thinking about what to say or how to say it." You pause. "He asked if I enjoyed the party. I said yes, then he asked if it was Jiwoo's plan." Wooyoung cocks a brow.

"What'd you say?"

"I got kinda defensive." You sigh, leaving out the whole moment of you asking Yeo if he thought Wooyoung wouldn't genuinely go to a party with you. "But anyway, I said you wanted to go.. and so did I. And I had a fun time with you."

"Atta girl." He laughs a bit. "And then?"

"He apologized and said he just wished I told him instead of surprisingly showing up. Then.. he laid it out. Said he had feelings for me and couldn't watch on the sidelines anymore. He felt like there could've been a chance, which was probably my fault for keeping that door open for too long." You sit up and face him, Wooyoung's arm still lazily holding you from behind. "I told him that even if I told him about the party beforehand, it wouldn't have changed anything because I couldn't. I liked us the way we were and that we were good as bestfriends. He deserved someone who was sure of him and who could reciprocate his feelings wholeheartedly."

"Then, you didn't do anything wrong, Y/N." You shrug before subconsciously grabbing a piece of lint on Wooyoung's hoodie and flicking it off.

"He asked something else."

"Which was?"

"He asked if this was about you, a-and I said no." You avoid eye contact and lick your lips out of nervousness.

"I see." Wooyoung smiles a bit before shifting up in his seat to get closer to you. He leans his cheek onto the palm of his hand, his arm that was behind you is now on the back of the couch— elbow resting on the edge. "Why can't you look at me?" He smirks teasingly.

"I am." You look at him for a minute before shifting your eyes elsewhere in the living room.

"Was it really not about me, hm?" He hums, brushing the hair away from your face and tucking it behind your ear. "You can tell me, love." He tries to pull you closer by the hand, and you let him.

"Can I?" His eyes quickly shift to the way you play around with his fingers.

"Course."

"Maybe it was."

"Just maybe?" He looks at your lips. "You think that's why you feel bad?" Brief pause. "That you might actually have feelings for me and you couldn't tell him that part?"

"Maybe." You repeat, his lips only inches away from yours. "Isn't that kinda silly?"

"No? I still don't think you did anything wrong, Y/N."

"Really, Woo?" There you go asking him so sweetly again. It's at this point when Wooyoung feels like he can no longer contain himself because you're giving him the answer he had been looking for; straight on a silver platter.

"Mhm. As far as I know, you were honest when it came to him. What's between us is our business and not his." He says, his tone just barely above a whisper. You don't really know what comes over you, maybe you did have a little bit of liquid courage still running through your veins especially cause what happens next catches you slightly off-guard. You're so sure about your feelings for him, but unsure about Wooyoung's and how he even feels. This could all be a game that he plays, something he does with other women even if he says it isn't.

Guess it doesn't matter much right now. Can't, anyways.

Within the next second, you find yourself initiating the first kiss with Wooyoung; a kiss that feels long overdue. You lean forward and press your lips against his own soft, plump lips, quickly pulling back to get ready and apologize—

But, he doesn't let you.

He chases after you.

He cups your cheeks and brings you back, thumb gently caressing the surface of your cheek. You haven't kissed someone like this in awhile, but with Wooyoung, it feels.. right.

Everything about Wooyoung feels right and natural.

He tries to take it slow with you, even when you crawl onto his lap and wrap your arms around him. The kiss becomes more heated, lips bruising from the rising intensity, hunger. Wooyoung slowly slips his tongue in, and hearing a small whimper from you in response only has him gripping your hips harder.

He quickly learns he likes kissing you.

"Been waiting to do this." He says against your lips.

"Have you?" You ask, your tone filled with lust as you continue to peck him with small, repeated kisses.

"Just didn't wanna scare you away."

"You wouldn't have."

"Have to be extra careful with you, baby. You aren't just anybody." The pet name rolls off his tongue so easily that it makes your head tilt back as the desire builds. He continues to hold you close as you slowly roll your hips against him, Wooyoung now kissing your jaw before gently sucking and licking on the surface of your neck;

The column, your throat.

You feel him come to the base and suck a little harder, and you're hoping it doesn't leave much of a mark. If it does, it doesn't fucking matter to you right now— nothing does. Because all you want is for Wooyoung to devour you. To give you everything, to ruin you so good.

"Is this okay? I don't wanna do anything you're not comfortable with—"

"Keep going, Wooyoung. Please." You cut him off. It takes a second for Wooyoung to register your pleading, that 'please' being the one thing that flips his switch. It's not only a want, but a heavy craving. He's got some sort of eagerness to show you just what you've been missing.

"Hold onto me." He says, lifting you with ease as he carries you over to your bed and plops you onto the mattress. He slowly crawls over you, his warm, large hands now cascading up your sweatshirt. Your breathing hitches when he reaches just above your rib cage, and Wooyoung stops when he feels your body tense in his grip. "You sure you're okay?" He presses a kiss to your forehead, down to your nose, your lips. He looks you in the eye with slight concern, afraid of scaring you. The last thing he wants you to think is that he's purely using you for other reasons— when it's definitely more than that.

Wooyoung wants to show you, in case he's bad at voicing his feelings. Cause he can be, clearly. But, he could at least show you and take care of you properly.

"I am."

"You trust me, yeah?" You swallow the lump in your throat as you nod, continuing to keep contact with Wooyoung. "I'll take care of you as long as you let me."

"I want you to." This time, Wooyoung dips forward to lock you into another deep, fervent kiss. His hands are finally roaming further up; Wooyoung letting out a low groan when he finds out you're braless. His thumb swipes over your hardened nipple, tongues fighting for dominance while your hands are tangled in the ends of his hair. You toss his beanie off just as he starts to tug your crewneck over your head and you follow suit with his hoodie. He nibbles on your jaw just before sucking harshly on the skin of your neck. His hand travels down and slips into your pajama pants, fingers delicately rubbing at your clothed pussy that sends a million jolts down your spine. You twitch in response, and Wooyoung can't help but chuckle against your neck.

"So reactive." He teases.

"It's been awhile, Woo."

"And? That's fine, baby. Told you I'd take good care of you." He raises himself slightly to watch your reaction in real-time. "Does that feel good?" He asks, close to a whisper.

"Yes." You bite your bottom lip and shut your eyes, sighing in satisfaction.

"God. Can feel how wet you are already." Wooyoung feels himself getting painfully hard against your thigh, imagining how tight you are. He doesn't wanna waste another moment, and he thinks he'll lose it if he isn't inside of you within the next few seconds. "Let's take this off, hm?" He hums, hands already tugging your panties and pajama pants down. "Do you have a condom?"

"Don't need it. I'm on the pill."

"You're sure? I'm clean, but I'll do whatever you're okay with. Just say the word." He asks again to be extra sure.

"I am, I'm sure." You nod eagerly. The pill was mainly to help regulate your heavy, irregular periods, but you'd say you do appreciate it a little more now for this particular reason.

"You're so hot, jesus fucking christ." Wooyoung doesn't say anything else before he's keenly kissing you again, hastily getting out of his sweats.

Sooner or later, the rest of Wooyoung's clothes are joining yours on the floor; Wooyoung not wasting any seconds reattaching his lips to yours after slipping them off.

Wooyoung pauses when he sees you fixed on his length— eyes hazy and full of desire. It's giving Wooyoung the biggest fucking ego boost, but that's not important. He strokes himself a few times before lining up with your entrance. He slowly eases himself in, the both of you letting out lewd moans as you both adjust to the feeling. You're tightly wrapped around him and Wooyoung has to keep his composure as he buries himself deep to the hilt. Wooyoung keeps his pace slow and steady; forehead pressed against yours as he thrusts into you. It's nothing rushed, everything about it is slow— so tender, so careful.

So safe.

"Wooyoung." You moan his name and his brain short-circuits every time you say it the way you do. On top of that, your little whimpers are doing a number on him, but he's trying to keep it together for awhile longer.

"Doing so well for me, love." He gently bites your chin just as he slightly picks up his pace. He hovers a bit, lips coming back up to meet you in a sweet kiss. He holds it for a minute longer, tongue swiping over your lips as he rolls his hips into you.

It's intimate.

It's deep.

It's raw.

It's nothing he'd do to his booty calls, no. Everything about those moments are forced and rushed, the end goal having to nut as quickly as possible and get them the hell out of his space.

With you, he's loving every second. He wants to relish in the way your walls feel around him, wants to relish in the way your fingers thread through his hair, wants to relish in the way you kiss him so slowly, so passionately. Like every kiss holds the answers to the universe and you're afraid you'll miss a single detail.

He rests his nose, lips, against your cheek just as he releases a shaky breath, still taking his time as he works his way with you. He comes down to your neck and leaves feathery pecks against the surface while his body is pressed flushed against yours. He turns his head and you've fully wrapped your arms around him. The pace is perfect, with Wooyoung working his hips in circular motions just to hit you in all the right places. He praises you as you continue to moan for him, pretty little mewls slipping from your lips while he tells you how captivating, how angelic, you are for him.

How perfect you are for him.

You find your hips have a mind of their own, working to match Wooyoung's movements. You feel the pleasure building quick at your core, and you know it won't take long from there.

"Wooyoung— just like that, please—oh my god." You sob. While he continues to expertly thrust into you and keep you close, the friction against him causes the coil within you to snap harshly, nails digging deep into Wooyoung's shoulders while he thrusts harder, a bit rougher, to meet his high.

"F-fuck, baby. I'm about to—" He moans a little louder when he feels you clench a few times around him from the aftershock, quickly pulling out and releasing onto your pussy and abdomen. "Shit—fuck." He pants, finally coming back down from euphoria to see how mesmerizing you look splayed out beneath him; white ribbons of cum painted on your skin. He's completely enamored by you. "Mm'sorry babygirl, let's get you cleaned up." You giggle and shake your head.

"Please, it's fine. Stop looking, you're making me shy again."

"Don't be. You look beautiful." He laughs, slipping on his boxers. "Let me clean you up." He runs to your bathroom to grab some wipes, doing a light jog to clean you up well. You grab your panties and your crewneck after he's done— throwing them on and snuggling under your covers. You fully expect Wooyoung to get dressed and leave [which would suck], but he doesn't. You quietly watch as he shuts off your TV and the lights, going to the bathroom for a quick wash up. Afterwards, he immediately slips underneath your covers right next to you, pulling you onto his chest.

"You're staying?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He chuckles. "C'mere." He pulls you closer. "Sleepy?"

"Incredibly." He smiles.

"I put in some work, huh?"

"Wooyoung." You pout, lightly smacking his chest.

"I'm just joking." He subtly bites his lip. "Can I have one more kiss before we sleep?" You lean up and peck him on the lips a few times, with Wooyoung holding the last kiss before pulling away. "Goodnight, pretty girl."

"Goodnight." You mumble, falling asleep within seconds as you cuddle snuggly against him. Because with Wooyoung, it feels.. right.

Everything about Wooyoung feels right and natural.

—TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid @ldysmfrst @intaksfav @wooyoungsbrat @hyukssunflower @yunhoswrldddd

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secretmellowblog · 2 days

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Jean Valjean's Canon Toxic Unhealthiness around Romantic Love

( alternate titles: “Does Jean Valjean is Gay?”, or “Does Jean Valjean is Asexual?” Or: “Why is it so difficult to slap an identity/sexuality label onto Jean Valjean?” Or “LGBTPTSD+”)

I was looking at the responses to this poll about whether people interpret Jean Valjean as gay/asexual/straight or something else….and it got me thinking again about Jean Valjean’s canonical intense, complex, awful, toxic, and overwrought emotions around identity/ romantic love. I want to talk about that for a bit because I think it often gets overlooked in fandom!

I've noticed that Les Mis fandom/analysis often tends to interpret Jean Valjean as being far more content, more "at peace with himself," and more "comfortable in his own skin" than he ever is within the novel. This is also a common change in adaptations. The musical's version of Jean Valjean is great-- but he also seems a lot more self-actualized, more like he's gotten himself completely "figured out" by the end of the story. Other, bad, Les Mis adaptations — the adaptations that generally portray Jean Valjean a worse more violent person — also usually make Jean Valjean more confident in himself, more confident in his own feelings/desires, more certain that he’s entitled to certain things, and more willing to demand or take what he wants.

But one major aspect of book Jean Valjean's personality is that he does not have a healthy relationship with anything about himself. He has a tortured broken relationship with his own identity. He repeatedly thinks about “Jean Valjean” as a person outside of himself, a person who he finds frightening, repulsive, savage, and horrible— like a wild animal he needs to sedate, or beat into submission. He is obsessed with self-denial and self-repression. He is fixated on the idea that he is subhuman, that he is not allowed to want things or to pursue having any kinds of relationships with other people-- and that the most heroic thing he can do is "grab himself by the collar” and violently force himself to stay away from the things he wants. He is desperate to be loved and fixated on being unworthy of love and on denying himself love. He is absolutely not at peace with his identity: to paraphrase Jean Valjean in one of the later chapters, he believes he can only gain inner peace by “eviscerating his own entrails.”

He is never truly content with who he is, what he wants, or what kind of love he wants— and he never learns to be. The novel ends with him cutting himself off from his only family, breaking ties with the only person who loves him, and essentially slowly killing himself out of self-loathing.

There are other characters in Les Mis who seem very content with who they are and what they want. Enjolras is self-assured in his identity, and doesn’t appear to feel like there is any kind of love that is missing from his life. Whether you interpret him as gay or ace or trans or w/e, book!Enjolras is written as someone who is extremely self-assured and has a loving support system that is enough to keep him happy. But I don’t think that’s true for Jean Valjean at all XD.

And that’s why it's hard to apply labels like “aromantic” or “ace” or gay/straight/etc to Jean Valjean, when talking about his canon characterization. Those labels imply the person has a basic level of comfort with acknowledging their own desires/lack of desire/identity. And Jean Valjean never achieves that level of comfort. What “label” do you give to someone whose relationship with their identity is “I do not belong in a family, I have no right to want things, I have no right to be happy, I am outside of life, and I will never be at peace until I eviscerate my own entrails?” Is there a “self-disembowelment" pride flag? XD I've seen a lot of interpretations that go "Jean Valjean never expresses any interest in romance, he's perfectly content just to have his relationship with his daughter" but I honestly don't think that's true. Jean Valjean tries to content himself with having only Cosette. But part of why everything explodes so catastrophically in the end of the novel is because he needs more than just a paternal relationship. He doesn’t try to have a “normal” father-daughter relationship with Cosette, he tries to force his relationship with Cosette to be literally everything and everyone to him, for her to be his entire world: and it doesn’t work.

There’s a passage in the novel that talks about how all the love Valjean is capable of ends up being suppressed/sublimated into his relationship with Cosette. The love of a brother, of a friend, of a father, of a husband, the love of everything he is capable of, gets repressed so that he can throw every part of himself into being a father. There are Bad les mis adaptations that incorrectly misinterpret that passage to mean that Jean Valjean is incestuous/grooming Cosette. But in context, that’s not what the passage means at all.

The passage specifies very explicitly that Jean Valjean “did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father,” that “no marriage was possible between them,” that his feelings for her are absolutely paternal. But the passage does show how Jean Valjean is doing a very different unhealthy thing: he’s relying on Cosette to fill every single emotional void in his life.

He’s relying on parenthood to fill the grief/emptiness left behind by all the other kinds of love that he has wanted, but never been given.

To quote a bit of that passage:

Jean Valjean did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father (…) Let the reader recall the situation of heart which we have already indicated. No marriage was possible between them; not even that of souls; and yet, it is certain that their destinies were wedded. With the exception of Cosette, that is to say, with the exception of a childhood, Jean Valjean had never, in the whole of his long life, known anything of that which may be loved. The passions and loves which succeed each other had not produced in him those successive green growths, tender green or dark green, which can be seen in foliage which passes through the winter and in men who pass fifty. In short, and we have insisted on it more than once, all this interior fusion, all this whole, of which the sum total was a lofty virtue, ended in rendering Jean Valjean a father to Cosette. A strange father, forged from the grandfather, the son, the brother, and the husband, that existed in Jean Valjean; a father in whom there was included even a mother; a father who loved Cosette and adored her, and who held that child as his light, his home, his family, his country, his paradise.

Jean Valjean reminds me of a Failmode I’ve seen in a lot of different real-life parents? There are parents who cope with their own hard lives by telling themselves that parenthood is their sole reason for being alive, and who obsess over their child’s success as their only source of purpose, meaning, love, happiness, community, and validation. But it’s a bad idea to rely on one child to provide the emotional support that should be shared by friends, parents, siblings, every possible loved one, etc etc—- One child can’t actually heal you from your trauma, be a replacement for your broken relationships, pull you out of your grief, save you from your adult loneliness, etc etc etc etc.

When I see the common interpretation that Jean Valjean is perfectly content just to be the father of Cosette, I think of this line:

Thus when he saw that the end had absolutely come, that she was escaping from him, that she was slipping from his hands, that she was gliding from him, like a cloud, like water, when he had before his eyes this crushing proof: “another is the goal of her heart, another is the wish of her life; there is a dearest one, I am no longer anything but her father, I no longer exist”; when he could no longer doubt, when he said to himself: “She is going away from me!” the grief which he felt surpassed the bounds of possibility. To have done all that he had done for the purpose of ending like this! And the very idea of being nothing!

On one hand, the terrible Les mis adaptations that portray Valjean as Incest Creep are incorrect and wrong. On the other hand, though, Jean Valjean IS unhealthy about Cosette— just in a different and actually sympathetic way.

He has made fatherhood his only purpose, to replace every other purpose he could have in life. So he can’t be “just Cosette’s father.” He can’t imagine her becoming an adult and leaving the nest, like children do. What does he have if he’s not taking care of her? What is his purpose in life if she doesn’t need him to be her parent? He's not just being her father, he's relying on her to be his entire reason to exist. He hasn't been allowing himself to have things outside of her.

And speaking of things outside of Cosette: segue time. This post was supposed to be about Jean Valjean and romance, so let's switch gears and talk about his canon 'romantic experiences' more:

We’re told that in his youth he “never had a sweetheart” because he “never had time to be in love.” There is no indication that Jean Valjean never wanted to be in love. The opposite is implied. Hugo frames it as a tragedy that Jean Valjean’s does not experience young love; it’s the horror of poverty taking yet another thing from him.

Within prison, Valjean is “gloomy” and “chaste;” when he traumadumps to Montparnasse about it, he talks about women looking on galley slaves with horror and disgust. Romance, at least “normal” heterosexual romance, is no longer something that is permitted for him. Jean Valjean knows very little about romance/love/sex and it repeatedly messes up his life. He spends 19 years in the all-male environment of prison, then about a decade in the almost-all-female environment of the convent. He has very little experience with how men and women are supposed to interact. The oppression Fantine faces as a sex worker, and Cosette's relationship with Marius, are both two big 'blind spots' that he struggles with.

At one point romantic love is described as “The only misery Jean Valjean had not yet experienced, and the only one that is sweet.”

In his massive confession to Marius, he agonizes over how he is not allowed to be part of a family, and is incapable of being part of a home. He compares himself to someone sick and diseased, that poisons good and normal people with his presence, and cannot be allowed to make himself part of their families.

So Jean Valjean doesn’t frame Romance as “a thing he doesn’t want:” it’s a thing “he is not allowed to want,” it is one of the many things he is banned from wanting. It's impossible to tell what kind of things he would want, if he were allowed to want them.

One of the most interesting things to me, however, is his general attitude towards Marius/Cosette.

Obviously his first reaction to Marius snooping around is fear and resentment— he doesn’t know to interact with romance, having never experienced it, and immediately begins catastrophizing. He views Marius as a privileged booby ruining his life for something as frivolous as a love affair: it reads to me as partially envy, envy of the fact that Marius lives the kind of safe comfortable life that allows him to experience young love.

Jean Valjean added: “What does he want? A love affair! A love affair! And I? What! I have been first, the most wretched of men, and then the most unhappy, and I have traversed sixty years of life on my knees, I have suffered everything that man can suffer, I have grown old without having been young, I have lived without a family, without relatives, without friends, without life, without children, I have left my blood on every stone, on every bramble, on every mile-post, along every wall, I have been gentle, though others have been hard to me, and kind, although others have been malicious, I have become an honest man once more, in spite of everything, I have repented of the evil that I have done and have forgiven the evil that has been done to me, and at the moment when I receive my recompense, at the moment when it is all over, at the moment when I am just touching the goal, at the moment when I have what I desire, it is well, it is good, I have paid, I have earned it, all this is to take flight, all this will vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul, because it has pleased a great booby to come and lounge at the Luxembourg.”

But, even though Jean Valjean views romance as something he isn’t allowed or have or to want, views it as a threat and catastrophizes over how it will ruin his life……he seems to also put heterosexual romance on a pedestal.

The way Jean Valjean idealizes marriage is one of his weirdest character notes for me.

He views marriage as Cosette’s “happy ending.” It’s her “happily ever after” point where she won’t need him anymore, where she won’t need anyone outside of her husband. A Man And a Woman Are Meant to Get Married, It's Fate, and It Means They Will Live Happily Together Forever. Marius is “the goal of her heart, the wish of her life; her dearest one.” Nothing outside of that matters anymore.

He treats her marriage as if romantic love is inherently always more important than any kind of platonic relationships, and always takes priority over them. He later dismisses the unconventional family structure he has with Cosette, saying that despite his love for her he was only a "passerby" and was not actually her real father, because they were not biologically related.

There's a moment where Jean Valjean is described as someone whose ideal is to be angel on the inside and a bourgeois on the outside. Jean Valjean's worship of bourgeois social norms, norms he can never truly be a part of, is one of his character flaws. He has a similar "guard dog" energy as Eponine does when she defends Rue Plumet from her parents.....Eponine and Jean Valjean both become the guard dogs of a kind of romantic relationship they believe they are banned from having. Jean Valjean believes that getting Happily Straight Married in a Middle-Class Home with a Picket Fence(tm) is the ideal path for life....but believes himself broken/incapable of ever following that path. And so he instead throws his entire life into securing that future for Marius and Cosette.

In what manner was Jean Valjean to behave in relation to the happiness of Cosette and Marius? It was he who had willed that happiness, it was he who had brought it about; he had, himself, buried it in his entrails, and at that moment, when he reflected on it, he was able to enjoy the sort of satisfaction which an armorer would experience on recognizing his factory mark on a knife, on withdrawing it, all smoking, from his own breast. Cosette had Marius, Marius possessed Cosette. They had everything, even riches. And this was his doing.

TL: DR:

Jean Valjean's gender/sexuality label is “idk but he’s super fucked up about it.”

#les mis #jean valjean #les mis letters #because i BRIEFLY tied it into Eponine #my idea for a self disembowelment pride flag #is that its like. prometheus and the eagle #but prometheus is into it #not sure how coherent this essay is but I am POasting it

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haruchuiyo · 3 days

Text

the kings love

the king broke your heart. he is now on his knees, at your mercy.

content: NSFW + a welt yang royal au + fem!reader + reader is a queen + implied arranged marriage + groveling + angst + betrayal + talks about trauma (very short) + scenes with food + kissing + dry humping + breeding kink + talks of an heir + very slight creampie (implied) + non sexual nudity + also sexual nudity + implied obsessive behaviour + perverse thoughts + blade and his duchess makes their cameos + fluff at the end + happy ending!

word count: 14k (i got lost my bad)

—

“Her Majesty The Queen.”

Welt’s head perks up from his paperwork on his table as he hears the announcement of your arrival.

As he sees you, he feels his heart flutter at just the sight of you. His eyes wander down to the beautiful gown that hugs your body perfectly, fitting you like the true queen you are. Then his eyes trail up to your pretty face. You’re beautiful as usual. There’s a slight smile on your face as you approach him.

“Are you ready, my dear?” You ask gently. Welt swears this gentle voice of yours was real and not an act, then he sees how your hands are formed into fists on the table. Welt felt his heart sink and he nodded.

“Of course, my love.” Welt replies. The servant, as if on cue seeing the lovely act of his king and queen, decides to leave you two alone.

Hearing the door close and it’s only the two of you, you back away from Welt and drop your smile.

“I’m sorry.” You hear Welt say and you can’t help the slight dry chuckle escaping your mouth. Ignoring his words, you place a brooch on his table.

“Wear this brooch, it symbolises our unity through our marriage and for the kingdom.” Hearing the words slip past your mouth, Welt feels his heart sink even deeper and he regrets what he did to you a lot.

“Of course.” He softly says as he takes the brooch. As if he suddenly lost all knowledge on how to pin the brooch on him. Just a moment later, he feels your hands on top of his chest. Soft and gentle to the touch, you help him pin the brooch on the front of his suit.

Welt can’t help but let his hands wander and softly place them on your waist. He hears your breath hitch and you softly shake your head.

“I don’t need this from you right now, your majesty.” You try to remove his hands from your waist but it’s to no avail. You lightly bite down on your lower lip in frustration. Why does he have to be so strong?

“Will you look at me?” You keep looking at the front of his chest. “Please?” His voice was almost wavering and you slightly shook your head.

“I don’t want to.” At your words, you feel how Welt presses your body into his chest even closer. “Why not?”

“Don’t force me to do this. You have no right, especially after what you did.” You harshly tell him, holding back tears.

No matter what you say, you can’t deny the fact you enjoy his touch on you. His hand on your waist feels good and the heat from his close proximity raises a certain warmth in you, you almost don’t wanna leave his hold on you.

“I’m sorry, I truly am.” Welt sounds genuinely apologetic but the betrayal from what he did hurts deeper.

“Let me go.” And he does. And you miss his touch but you can’t go back.

—

As you get back to your suite from your royal duties, you see an envelope on your dresser. It reminds you of the times you thought Welt sent letters. The front of the envelope has your name on it and when you turn the envelope you see the familiar stamp on it. And you immediately place the envelope away in your drawers.

You have no idea what Welt would do if he saw you put his letter to you aside. Thank the aeons we’re not sharing a bedroom, you think to yourself as you sit on the chair in front of your dresser.

As if subconsciously, your hand reaches out to the drawer with the envelope in it. Something in you wants to read it, but the other something tells you it’s the same thing again. A letter written by someone else pretending to be the king, your husband.

And you let your hold on the drawer go as soon as your maids enter the room to tend to you.

—

Welt can’t stop looking at you. You look beautiful. Your smile lights up the entire kingdom and its people. The way you greet them so gently and as if they all are familiar to you. And the way you give each and one of them a smile. Welt can’t help the thought that escapes from him wishing your smile was all his. He wants you and he’s too late. Or maybe he isn’t.

And when he sees you look at him, your eyes are shining and face covered in happiness, his heart flutters. He can’t help what he did just now.

He gently takes your hand in his and kisses your knuckles. You look at him surprised when there’s rows of awe’s going off behind you. And little did Welt know, his little gesture made your own heart flutter.

And hours after that, you hastily walk away from him while taking your gloves off. You hear Welt call for you from behind you but you don’t quit your steps away from him. At this moment, you really truly wanted the guards at your floor, which you share with said man running after from behind you.

“Wait!” He manages to catch up. “Please.” And he grabs your hand and pulls you to a stop. As he does that, you catch a whiff of his scent and you almost want to take another one. As you look up at Welt, you see how he’s doing the same thing but he’s not hiding it.

He subtly gets closer to you, his hand wrapped around your wrist. You feel his thumb gently stroke your skin and you subtly grit your teeth and try to pull away from his hold, but it’s to no avail.

“Stop grabbing me like that!” You try to shake off his hold once more but it doesn’t work at all. “It’s not my fault I have to do this to force you to be with me.” At his words, a dry chuckle leaves your mouth and Welt immediately regrets his words.

“Aren’t you a little too late with that?” The way your eyes turned cold as you looked at him, Welt felt his blood run cold. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t do what you did and your apologies would have been nonexistent, your majesty.” You spit out and Welt feels his heart sink, though your eyes are glaring at him, he can still see the tears you’re holding back.

“I’m truly sorry. I regret what I did. You don’t deserve that.”

“Of course I didn’t. I didn’t deserve to be roped into an arranged marriage with you either, who was known to be a king who refused to marry.” And Welt flinched at your words, though you’re right, your words hurt. Welt can’t help but look down and he sees how he’s still holding you by the wrist. He lets you go and somehow, he feels slightly happy you didn’t leave him when he dropped his hold on you.

“You should’ve been known for playing with the heart of someone who loves you.” And he looks at you. And there’s tears streaming down your face and you chuckle as you wipe them away. His heart sinks even more at your tears though he can’t forget the words you just uttered. Though what you said next was an arrow to his heart.

“I feel sick for still loving you. Even though you hurt me so much, I can’t help but still love you. No matter what you did, that doesn’t remove from the fact you are a good man but you are not one to me. Not at that time and not now either.”

—

A little more than a year ago

You are nervous. Very nervous. But you shouldn’t be. But you are. You are to be married to the King of Astral who has a reputation of not marrying at all. What if he refuses you when he sees you. You subconsciously scratch your fingernails when the doors open and a handsome man emerges.

A handsome man adorned in finest silks, with a graceful walk and such aura to him. You would’ve thought it was someone else if not for the crown on his head and the pin on his right chest.

Welt Yang. King of Astral.

Your eyes widened, he’s truly handsome and you swear you felt your heart skip a beat by just his appearance. But when he talks, your eyes almost pop out. Not only is his face and entire body handsome, his voice is as well.

How you managed to curtsy to him and introduce yourself is a wonder to you. Though when you looked down at the floor, you could feel a pair of brown eyes on you. And when you looked up, your eyes were locked at each other and you saw a tint of a red hue on his cheeks and you felt your heart swoon.

The King of Astral is adorable as well.

Days and weeks after that, you have been in the company of Welt multiple times. Your father called it ‘get to know each other’, though you objected at the time your heart still fluttered.

“So, your majesty-“

“Welt.” Said man cuts you off and you look at him confused. “Call me Welt.”

And so you did.

Then came the day of your days as engaged and you swore this man had your heart in his calloused palms. He made you smile, laugh at his dry jokes and you enjoyed being with him so much, you anticipated meeting him every single day. Little did you know of what is soon upon you.

Weeks of being engaged, each and every day, you received a handwritten letter from Welt. Telling you of his days, how much he misses being in your presence and discussing every single topic with you. And since you’re helping with planning the wedding, he adds in a few suggestions here and there which make you smile. And every time you receive his letters, you write him equally as many back.

Then came the wretched day.

You had decided to give him your letter in person. As you stood outside the doors of his office, the guard outside the door bows to you and was about to open it and announce your arrival, when you grabbed his shoulder and shook your head.

“Mind if I go in there by myself? I don’t wanna disturb the king with his duties.” You kindly request, the guard looked flustered at what he is supposed to do but since you’re the soon to be queen of the kingdom he’s serving, he saw no point in refusing your simple request. You thank him profusely before quietly opening the huge door. You were eternally grateful at that moment when the door didn’t make a loud sound.

“I’ve sent the letter you requested, your majesty.” You hear a familiar feminine voice. It’s his Secretary, Himeko. About to speak up, you hear Welt’s next words.

“Did you write how I would, Himeko?” Welt asked and Himeko said yes.

What are they talking about and why do you feel nervous?

“Splendid. The princess is quite smart, if she picks up on the fact that I didn’t write the letters, it’d be quite troublesome as we are gonna get wed tomorrow.” Hearing what you did, you felt rage surge up inside you. Not just rage, but betrayal and despair.

Have you written to Himeko this whole time, thinking it was the king? The lovely words you read and received were all written by the king's secretary.

Welt was about to speak up when he saw you appear from behind Himeko. Your brows are furrowed and your steps are in haste as you reach him. And he sees a letter in your hand before it’s harshly placed down on his table right in front of him.

“What is the meaning of-“ and a sound emerged in the office of the King of Astral.

Welt looked sideways, his eyes widened as he held his cheek and Himeko looked terrified. You had just struck the king. And when he looks at you, there’s tears falling down your face and something stings in Welts heart.

When you hear him call you by your name, your heart aches.

“I really thought you were a good man, your majesty. I truly believed you liked me and enjoyed our time together. If you really didn’t want to do this and had to resort to having your Secretary write your love letters to me, you should’ve just refused to marry me.” And you left the room and the room has never been quieter.

And after that day, the letters stopped coming. But the man who was the object of your anger and the cause of your heartache, never stopped coming to you.

Every day he apologized. There wasn’t a time where you didn’t hear an apology from him. Even during your wedding party, even though he didn’t say it during your first dance as a wedded couple, you saw it in his eyes. You felt it in his touches at public events and in the gifts he gave you. Personally.

And everytime you refused.

—

Welt sits back in his seat in his office, looking up at the ceiling. He feels numb but most of all, regret. His heart ached the first day he saw your tears and he was the reason for that. And today you cried once more and he was once more the cause of your tears. Seeing you in that state two times, each time his fingers itches to wipe your tears away and beg on his knees for you and apologise, over and over.

Every day Welt berates himself for hurting you like that. And ever since that day, he’s read the letters you wrote when you two were engaged. And every time it doesn’t fail to bring tears to him when he sees how much of your love for him you poured into those letters. All while thinking they’d go to him and every letter you’d get back, you thought it was from him.

Oh how he wishes to undone his actions and never hurt you like that.

He picks out a key from his front pocket and unlocks the drawer. Stacks of letters, in worn out shape, with your handwriting. Addressing every one of them to him.

And he reads them all over again for the umpteenth time.

—

“He reads your letters every night, my queen.”

You hear Himeko say from behind you on one of your walks, which you wanted to take alone but she decided to join. You scoff at her words

“It’s as if I’m dead, well I’m not and he can go burn these aeon awful letters.” You retort back and you hear Himeko sigh from behind you.

“He said it was a royal order.” Himeko speaks up and you quit your steps to turn around to look at her.

“Yet you didn’t have the ounce of decency to let me know. You knew how much this would hurt me.” Himeko winces slightly as she nods her head. “I confided in you, I’ve talked about him to you. I thought we were friends yet you were along in this betrayal as well. Silly isn’t it.” You dryly laugh before continuing to walk.

“I’m dearly sorry.”

“I’m sure you are.”

And you know she is. You can’t fault her for following a royal order. Royal orders are most important and secretive, they’re to be carried out no matter what. Though it hurts you to speak to your friend like that, deep down you’ve already forgiven her.

When you arrive at your bedchamber, there's a letter on your dresser and you see how there’s no stamp or anything whatsoever to tell who it’s from. There’s only your name on it.

Unfolding the letter, you see the familiar handwriting and put it away.

—

Welt sits at the tiny table. Candles are lit and there’s warm food on the table. But you’re not here.

And it’s been hours.

And every day he does this. Send you a letter, asking you to dine with him and each time you don’t come. Welt can’t fault you for that.

He smiles to himself sadly as he sees the empty seat in front of him, wishing you were sat there.

—

“My queen, the kings been waiting for you for half a dozen hours now.” At your lady maids words, you hastily turn your head. He’s waited six hours for you to come join him for dinner?

Your heart winces. Maybe he doesn’t deserve sitting alone for six hours while the food gets all cold. You grab your night robe and stand up from your chaise.

You arrive at the room he set up for dinner, gently opening the door. You see Welt sat alone. All while he’s holding onto what you assume is letters. And he’s reading it over and over. You see him softly brushing his fingertips over the words before leaning the letter closer to his face and he inhales the scent. And that’s when you see your own stamp on top of the letter. You remember how you sprayed these letters with your personal and favorite scent.

“Are you not going to eat?” And Welt’s head perks up so fast, you’d think it would fly off his neck. You can’t help the thought of thinking he’s cute. But desperate. Maybe it’s good he’s desperate.

“You’re here.” He breathes out as he stands up, approaching you.

“My lady maid told me you’ve been waiting for six hours. The food has already gone cold, your majesty. I think you should eat.” You tell him as he stands in front of you.

“Not without you, no.” He softly says and your eyes softly widened before shaking your head.

“So you’re gonna starve yourself unless I’m dining with you?” You lightly tease and you see how Welt’s eyes shone in delight at your simple teasing remark.

“Maybe.” He mumbles. You walk past him to the table. About to pull the chair out, Welt beats you to it. He slides in the chair for you as you sit down. You gently thank him before looking at the food on the table. And your eyes properly widened in surprise.

These all are your favorite foods. Even the drink on the table is your most favorite and you look up at Welt. And all he does is show you a gentle smile and your heart winces.

“I got you your favorite dessert as well, but maybe you’d like to eat that after the meal?” He asks and you look at him for a few seconds before slightly nodding your head. And he flashes you a happy grin.

“The food is cold, I can ask the servant to heat it up-“

“It’s alright, it’s pretty late and they all most likely wanna go to sleep now.” You say as you pick up the cutlery and cut into the food.

To say the dinner was good was an understatement, though you hesitated being alone with Welt after how much he hurt you, you can’t deny the fact that you enjoy his presence. He keeps asking your thoughts on diplomatic issues and news, your thoughts on how to better things for the people and of course, questions about you. Though your heart fluttered at his attentiveness on you, you were still hesitant. But you answered nonetheless.

Then he brought out the dessert and you see how there’s only one plate of it. And it’s for you. You look at Welt confused but he just smiles at you.

“I made this for you.” You get confused at his words before realizing what he meant.

“You mean, you made this cake from scratch?” You ask and he nods his head. As he does that, you see how the red tint on his cheeks and the candlelight seems to be showcasing that so well, he looks so handsome while blushing.

“I didn’t know you enjoyed baking.” You mumble as you pick up the dessert spoon and cut into the cake.

“I’ve been learning how to bake for a while now, this is the only one that turned out well and didn’t burn.” He tells you and you giggle, missing the way Welt’s eyes softened and the way they glanced down at your mouth.

Welt felt nervous seeing you get a piece of the cake and put the piece in your mouth. What if it doesn’t taste good? What if it isn’t how you like it? If it isn’t, he’d make more and more till it’s exactly how you like it.

“It’s good.” You simply say as you take another bite, refusing to meet his eyes. Feeling shy for complimenting him. You hear Welt sigh in relief then he sees you push the plate of cake towards him.

“Try it. A chef should always taste his own food. But in this case, the baker should taste his desserts.” You chime up softly and Welt grins at you.

As he takes a bite, instead of focusing on the taste itself, he realizes it’s the same spoon you ate with. Is this what an indirect kiss is? He thanked whoever he learned his phrase from in his head before looking at you.

“It’s good.” He nods his head and you lightly smile at him.

And the dinner was over like that. All that was left was the silence in the room and just you two looking at each other. You were about to stand up and excuse yourself when Welt got up from his seat and kneeled in front of you. It went by so fast, you couldn’t process everything at once.

“What are you doing?” You ask as he kneels and looks up at you. He grabs your hands that were on your lap and takes them in his larger one. He holds onto your fingers gently.

“I want you to know I’m sorry.” He mumbles. Your heart beats faster when you see him place your knuckles on his forehead.

“Did you make this dinner to have me forgive you just like that?” And he shakes his head.

“This dinner was to be with you. This dinner was so I could dine with my wife and have her eat the food and dessert she likes.” He tells you with such a clear voice as he kisses each one of your fingertips and you feel flutters in your body before you pull away your hands and stand up.

Welt looks up at you from where he's kneeling. You look down at him when you feel him gently stroke your wrist with his fingers before he places his hands on your waist and makes your abdomen face his way, before he leans in and nuzzles his face there.

“Stop.” You whisper out as you hold onto his head but you don’t even push him away, you’re just holding onto his hair. You can hear him inhale your scent by your abdomen before nuzzling even further.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“I think about you day and night. I read all your letters before going to sleep. You’re in my dreams every night, my love.” He continues on as you plead for him to stop but he doesn’t.

“I will be on my knees, apologizing for hurting you the way I did. If it takes me ten years or more, it doesn’t matter how long. I will do anything it takes to make you smile, have you laugh at my dreadful jokes just so I can hear your lovely laughter again. Just so I can have you looking at me and have you see how much I cherish you and love you. Because I do.” At some point when he was uttering these words, you felt your nightgown get wet from where Welt was burying his face on your abdomen.

“I love you.” He looks up and his face is stricken with tears. And you shake your head before pushing him away. “I love you.” He says as he tugs on the ends of your nightgown.

“No you don’t, this is all to make yourself feel better and have me forgive you like you didn’t do anything hurtful to me.” Welt shakes his head, before he could speak you walk away, not being able to handle being alone with him anymore.

You left him alone in the room, on his knees as tears fell down his face. Leaving him with all regret and pain in the world.

—

“Your Majesty, you have been summoned to the council.” Your lady maid announces. You look up from the book you were reading.

“Has something happened?” You ask as you put away the book. Your lady maid looks down on the floor but you don’t miss the way she’s blushing.

“Are you alright?” You ask as you check her forehead and she nods her head. You look at her confused, she’s never acted this way so you can’t question any further since it’s the council summoning you.

“Is the king there?” You ask as you two walk towards the council room. “Yes, my queen.” She answers and you nod your head. Nervous to meet him after what happened days ago. Ever since the dinner night, you haven’t been in close proximity with Welt or alone with him at all. But he never stopped sending you letters.

“Her Majesty, The Queen.”

You enter the room and see all the ministers of the council sitting around the oval table, with the king seated as well. They all stand up as you enter the room, bowing in respect to you. The king however approaches you and you gently accept his offer of taking your hand in his. You sit down on your seat beside him.

“Is something the matter to have the both of us in the council room?” You ask and all the ministers look amongst themselves before looking down. As your lady maid did, they all are blushing but not as much as your lady maid did.

“Is everyone sick?” You innocently ask, not knowing what’s gonna come upon you soon enough.

“My love.” You hear Welt say from beside you. As if on reflex, you turn your head as he calls for you and your eyes widens when you see a red tint on his cheeks. Why’s everyone blushing?

“My queen, there’s been…words going around about a certain topic.” One of the ministers starts off before he coughs before he can continue.

“What word?” You ask and everyone stays quiet before one of the ministers, Dangheng, speaks up.

“There’s been talks of an heir, your majesty.” Dangheng says and you are still confused. “And what is that supposed to entail?” You ask once more.

“Talks of you two still not having an heir, despite being married for more than a year.” Your eyes widen.

“The people want a princess or a prince to welcome to the Kingdom of Astral.” Dangheng finishes and your eyes are still wide open as you clench onto your hands. You did not expect to be summoned for this.

“I think us having an heir is out of question for the moment, as we still want to enjoy our life as two a little more.” Welt speaks up, sensing your surprise and discomfort. Though it wasn’t discomfort, it was nervousness you felt.

Having an heir means you need to get intimate with Welt. You didn’t consummate your marriage on your wedding night. Though nobody knows of that, you understand why the people are talking about an heir to the kingdom.

Then you remember Welt’s words of you two wanting to enjoy your life as just you two. You look away from the ministers to look at Welt. When you see his pair of brown eyes land upon you, your heart flutters so you hastily look away. That moment didn’t go unnoticed by the ministers on the table.

“So me and the ministers at this table have been talking about sending your majesties together to the country and have you two talk it over there.”

—

And here we are.

You climb down from the carriage with the help of the footman. Thanking him gently as you look at the huge mansion in front of you. It’s stunning, especially in the sunlight. There’s a fountain in the middle to the entry and flower bushes adorning the entire front entry of the mansion.

“It’s quite lovely isn’t it?” You hear Welt from beside you and you nod your head. The mansion is very lovely.

As you settle in with the servants packing your suitcases. You decide to take a walk around the mansion. You managed to sneak away from your bodyguard, though you felt bad, you needed some alone time after riding in the carriage the whole day with Welt.

The more you walk, the more you find yourself further away from the mansion. Though it can be seen with its sky high towers, you know you’re far away from it by an hour.

Then you stumble upon a lake with another mansion. The lake was behind it and it was lovely as well. There’s lotus flowers and you get down on your knees, admiring the flower when you hear steps from behind you.

A lady dressed in fine clothing, with a tall man with dark hair beside her. When these two see you kneeled by the lake, they walk towards you.

About to ask who you are, their eyes land on the pin on the right side of your chest and see how familiar you are. It was your royal queen pin. And both of them bow in unison.

“Your Majesty.” They say as you feel embarrassed to have stumbled upon them like this. You didn’t quite expect to meet the Duke of Stellaron and the duchess like this.

“Please, no need for pleasantries. I’m sorry to have stumbled upon your humble abode like this.” You feel truly embarrassed. The Duchess of Stellaron speaks up.

“No need, you are welcome here anytime. We’re the one sorry for not welcoming your majesty’s presence here properly.”

So the married couple of Stellaron takes you on a tour of their mansion. Yingxing, a quiet man of few words, seems to be speaking more with his wife than he does with anyone else. Though he looks stoic, one doesn’t miss the love in his eyes as he looks at his wife. And your heart aches. Your mind automatically goes to the king you left at the mansion.

“Your majesty, if I may ask, what took you this far from the royal mansion?” The duchess asks and you sheepishly chuckle. “Needed some alone time, so I may or may not have run away for just a few hours.” And the duchess giggles.

“I quite understand that husbands can be a little unbearable. This one never leaves my side if he isn’t working.” The Lady of Stellaron says as she pats her husband's chest while grinning ear to ear. The duke who seemed to have gained some red color to his cheeks, stayed quiet.

Then you hear some running from behind you, the duke stands in a defensive mode, grabbing his sword but relaxes when he recognizes the royal soldier insignia on the soldier running towards them.

“Your Majesty!” The soldier pants as he bows before looking up.

“Easy there, breathe now.” You gently tell the soldier and he nods his head. “Your Majesty, the king is looking for you.” The soldier says and you feel quite bad. You did just run away without telling anybody.

“Is he worried?” You ask and the soldier nods his head. “I think the king almost thought he lost you.” And you turned quiet. You see how the duchess smiles at her husband before looking at you.

“I think I need to cut short my walk with you two. I had a lovely time. Thank you.” You tell them sincerely.

“We are most honored to have the queen with us, we’d be most delighted if you came here on an official invite.” You nod your head.

“And keep out a lookout for an envelope for you two as well. I'd love to have you two at the mansion sometime.”

—

As the soldier guides you back, you see the king at the top of the stairs looking out. When he sees you emerge from the flower bushes, he doesn’t hesitate for a second to start running. To you.

Welt crashed into you with a oomph as he wrapped his arms around your body.

“Ouch, you’re quite strong, my king.” You mumble with your arms dangling by your side, not returning his hug. Welt immediately pulls away and looks at you. He cups your face and rests his forehead against yours.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispers. You shake your head. “I was just walking around, met the duke and duchess of Stellaron. Quite lovely people.” You ramble on and Welt looks at you quietly.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?” He asks softly and your heart beats faster. You shake your head once more. “I’m fine, thank you.” You mumble, as if subconsciously, you gently hold onto his clothes.

“If you want to walk around, take me with you.” Welt says and you nod your head. He smiles at you before leaving a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You didn’t know what to make of what just happened, it happened so naturally you didn’t question it at that moment.

—

Still at the mansion in the country, you still receive the letters from Welt. You have not gained the courage to open any of them, though you want to, some voice in the back of your head is telling you it’s the same thing from a year ago all over again. So you push the thought of reading his letters aside.

You and Welt haven’t pushed the agenda of having an heir. And you think Welt doesn’t seem to be planning to bring it up anytime soon considering how he seems to be devoting all his time to you and you only.

Everyday he tells the cook to only make food you like, bring desserts of your taste to the table and make drinks and teas only you enjoy. Though at some point, you felt frustrated and felt bad. Does he not wanna have something he likes to eat or drink?

Not only that, as soon as he sees you step out of the mansion or hears about that from his servants, he’s at your beck and call. Seems like the day you ran away for a few hours had left quite an impact on him.

Though you can’t push him away everytime he does that, because you do, to your disappointment, enjoy his presence. He seems to not mind you not replying to what he says and lets you stay quiet as he keeps talking.

You two passed by a certain flower bush, you walked past it when Welt stayed behind. He gets on his hunches as he plucks it from the bush. You turned around as to why it turned so quiet and saw how he’s approaching you with the flower in hand.

Your entire body swells in butterflies and you hastily turn around. And you hear Welt’s steps hasten as well and he stands in front of you. And he gives you the lily flower.

It’s your favorite.

Welt sees you hesitating to take it from his hand so he lightly grins at you.

“I can pick up the entire ground of lilies for you if that’s the reason the flower isn’t in your hands yet?” At his words, Welt sees you giggling and he swears the sky never looked bluer, birds started singing and he saw only you in his vision.

Then you take the lily flower and thank him softly. Oh how much Welt wishes he could engulf you in his arms and kiss you to the world's end. But he stayed put and watched you subtly smile while admiring the lily flower.

—

You decided to go out the back of the mansion, and see how there’s a fountain there as well. As you sit down by it, you look into the deep water while fiddling with the royal queen pin on your right side of your chest. When you do, you feel how it’s a bit loose, about to fix it you hear Welt call for you. You turn to look at him the same time as your hand accidentally hits the pin, making it fall into the fountain water.

Your eyes widen and you immediately stand up. You unbutton your clothes and take them off. “Why did you startle me like that?” You glare at him a little. Welt chuckles lightly. “I fetch for someone to get the pin.”

“No need, I do it myself.” You huff out as you slide your dress down your body.

Welt sees all this happen in front of him and stands star struck when you’re left in your white chemise. Then he sees you jump into the water and he immediately runs up to you.

He sees you in the water, looking around then grabs something. When you get up from the water, you try to get yourself up on the fountain so Welt helps you by putting his hands below your armpits and lifts you up. You yelp in surprise a little, but he steadies you on the fountain then doesn’t let go. You sit down on it.

“Why did you do that? Are you hurt?” Welt fusses over you, as he looks at you everywhere with his eyes.

You lift the pin in your index finger and thumb and show it to him. “I am fine, let me go.” You sigh out. Welt does release his grip but not before his hands lightly graze down your sides and you look up at his brown eyes. They’re focused on your body, he doesn’t look up once to look at you. You look down at yourself and see how your white chemise is see through when it’s wet.

Now you’re feeling conscious and flustered, he blatantly stares at your body without any ounce of shame. Almost like he was admiring the view. At that point, a thought wandered into your head. Would he still admire your body if your chemise was off your body?

As Welt stepped away, you almost missed the close proximity and heat from his larger body. He was standing beside your thighs, but had you spread your thighs a little, would that mean he’d be standing between them? Would he pull himself closer to you? Your entire body heats up at these thoughts and your eyes widens.

“Thank you for lifting me up.” You softly mumble as you get down from the fountain and pick your clothes up. You hold them to your chest and walk past him. As you pass by, Welt couldn’t help but let his fingers graze the side of your thighs and your wet chemise. His hand flexes.

When you walk away from him, he wonders if you knew that when you were doing that, it gives him a view of your backside. Your wet dress is sticking to your skin and Welt looks at your inner thighs that got revealed by your dress sliding up. He turns around and groans at himself.

He adjusts his pants but can’t stop thinking about the way your breasts looked below the dress, your nipples perked up and since he stood over you, he could see into them. If he pulled the dress down, would your breasts spill out? Welt groans at the thought. And when he saw your inner thighs? If the dress had slide up a little bit more, he had seen everything above the thighs.

Welt has a long day ahead of him.

—

A little few days later, you get summoned to Welt’s office in the country mansion. This has never happened before, you can’t help but worry.

“I have to go back to the palace, the ministers needs me for a diplomatic task that requires me to be there in person.” Welt explains and you sigh in relief.

“Do you wanna come with me? We can always come back here as soon as the task is solved.” Welt gently tells you as he steps closer to you.

“I can—“ realizing what you’re about to say, you stop yourself but see how Welt is staying quiet, letting you finish your sentence.

“I can wait here for you.” You softly mumble and Welt’s heart swoons and swells in love for you. How he managed to not take your lips in for a kiss is a wonder.

And when Welt was gone, you didn’t know how much of a bore it’d be. If you weren’t busy with your hobby, eating or sleeping, you’d be with Welt. While you’re not much of a chatter yourself, Welt would take up the task and do all the talking.

It was the second day without Welt, and you invited the Duke and Duchess of Stellaron to the country mansion. To say you had a great time was an understatement. You grew to adore the stoic duke, who seemed to know his way with jokes and making his wife giggle and laugh. And the duchess with her teasing remarks and her making her stoic husband blush furiously.

Yingxing excused himself to use the chamberpot, leaving you alone with the duchess. As soon as the duke was out of the room, the duchess didn’t hesitate to turn to you and take your hands in hers.

“So how are you faring, my queen?” At her simple but genuine question, you can’t help but feel a little emotional but you decide to not burden her with your thoughts.

“I’m faring quite well. More than I thought I would actually.” You lightly chuckle as the duchess smiles at you.

“And without your dear husband, the king, as well?” At the mention of Welt, your heart fluttered but you lightly winced.

“Yes.” You simply say. And the duchess gets worried at your behavior but decides to not push it.

About to speak up, the duchess husband gets back to the room and joins you two once more.

The day went by and you bid bye to the couple of Stellaron before retiring for the day. As you were brushing your hair, a knock was heard on the door and you got up on your feet.

A maid was outside with a plate in her hand, on the plate were two envelopes.

“A letter from his majesty the king and the Duchess of Stellaron, my queen.” The maid bows her head and you take the envelopes before thanking her. Closing the door, you look at the envelopes in your hands. You open the letter from the duchess first. Her words in it make you smile. She simply wrote —

‘Your majesty,

Should you need a friend, I’m always just a few hours away.’

You’re most grateful for her companionship and friendship, writing a reminder in your head to thank her in person the next morning. As you put her envelope aside, you see the one from Welt.

Back at the palace for diplomatic reasons, Welt still found time to write you this letter. Your vision gets blurry because of tears forming. Thinking it’s not the end of the world, you open the envelope and start reading its content.

—

The maid gently presses a cold spoon to your eyes, her face full of worry for you.

“My queen, should you need to stay abed the whole day, do tell me.” The maid fusses over you and you chuckle slightly as you shake your head.

“I doubt my eyes are very puffy, dear. You need not worry about me.” And you’re right. It’s not very puffy at all and by the time the duke and the Duchess of Stellaron arrive at the country mansion, the puffiness is gonna disappear.

And so it did, you’re just grateful you carry a pocket mirror in your purse. Exiting the mansion, you see the duke and duchess exit the carriage.

“Welcome, Duke and Duchess of Stellaron. I’m most grateful for you two coming here.” The duchess and duke bows, giving similar sentiments back and you giggle.

“I feel bad for having you two speak with such formality with me considering we had such a lovely time yesterday. I think we’d been the closest of friends.” You grin at them, both of their eyes widen before they soften.

“I think you’re right, my queen.” The duke, Yingxing, says as his wife agrees wholeheartedly.

They joined you for tea before luncheon, and before you realized it, they'd been there the whole day. You called yourself not much of a chatter but this day, you’ve proven yourself differently. A servant entered the room with an envelope and when you saw the familiar stamp, you did your best to hold back your tears. Thanking the servant, you tuck the envelope in your sleeves and glance back at the couple in front of you. They didn’t miss how your expression changed when seeing the letter. Even they recognize the king's stamp.

“Is that from the king?” Yingxing asks and you nod your head. “Aren’t you going to open it?” The duchess asks and you lightly chuckle before shaking your head. “I open it later on, I wouldn’t wanna cut our evening shorter.”

The duchess senses discomfort from you and pats her husband's thigh, signaling him to leave the topic of the king alone, figuring out he’s a sensitive topic.

The evening went on and it was time for the couple to retire back home. So they did and you were left alone once more. You feel the envelope tucked inside your sleeve and you hastily run back inside the mansion. Arriving inside your room, you open the letter and read its content.

He’s coming back tomorrow.

—

Welt has heard word of you being in company with the Duke and Duchess of Stellaron. Before going back to the country mansion, he decides to pay them a visit. They’re on the way after all.

The duke and duchess didn’t expect to see their king on their steps at all. They hurriedly put together a table for him, apologizing for not being able to welcome him properly.

“It’s alright.” Welt chuckles. “I’ve come here to thank you two for keeping my wife company the days I’ve been away. I’ve heard she never looked happier and that’s all I wish for her.” Welt gently tells them. The duke and duchess look at each other, realizing this is quite an out of place behavior. All this time they’d think something was going on wonderfully with you two. But seeing your discomfort at seeing the king's letter yesterday and Welt thanking them, personally, for keeping you company. They never expected this.

The duchess glances at her husband, Yingxings eyes slightly widens in surprise and he grabs onto her hand signaling her a ‘don’t do this’ but the duchess just gulps on air before turning to look at the king. Welt saw the whole ordeal happening in front of him and got confused until the duchess spoke up.

“Your majesty, I hope I’m not crossing a line here. But is everything alright between you and the queen?” The duchess’s question makes Welt flash her a sad smile. Then he lightly shakes his head.

“I have done something to her and I regret it immensely. I can see she is still hurt by what I did.”

“Have you talked to her?” The duchess asks once more. Welt nods his head. “I’ve done everything I can to ease her pain and I apologize every single day.”

“I think my wife means a different kind of talk, your majesty. There must’ve been a reason as to why you’ve hurt your wife, no?” Yingxing says and it’s like Welt got a realization. His eyes widened. This whole time he’s been doing everything to gain your favour and forgiveness without telling you the reason behind why he’s hurt you the way he did. Not to justify his actions but to give you some possible understanding.

Welt hastily stands up, the chair screeches and both the duke and the duchess stand as well before she speaks up.

“I hope you mend your relationship with the queen, your majesty. She’s a lovely person and even if I have known her for a short while, it saddens me to know such a kind person is experiencing a heartache.”

And Welt couldn’t agree more.

—

Your entire body was full of nervousness and anticipation. Though you still remember the pain Welt caused you, your love for him is still there. He’s been gone for almost a week and he’s coming back anytime soon. It’s afternoon and your husband is still not here.

Unbeknownst to you, your husband is scaling up the stairs at such speed, the servants haven’t had the time to greet their king. Welt stands outside your bedroom door, having heard you’ve been cooped up there since morning.

As he stands outside still, your maid opens the door and eyes widened in surprise. About to bow and greet her king, Welt places an index finger on his lips signaling her to stay quiet. She does.

Then he hears your lovely voice he has missed all the days he’s been away from you.

“Did you forget something?” You ask the maid, not forgetting to address her by her name. Your maid yelps slightly when Welt shakes his head.

“Uh- oh! No!” The maid stuttered before she hastily left, not forgetting to bow to her king before she did.

Welt enters your room, as he sees you by your dresser, still in your nightgown and your hair released. He’s never seen you like this. He burns the memory of you like this on his brain. About to speak up, you catch him in the mirror reflection and stand up in a haste.

Then Welt sees how your brows furrowed before your face morphed into anger. He sees you grab a stack of envelopes, before reaching him in a haste and throw them at his face.

“How dare you!” You raise your voice. Welt looks at the envelopes you threw at him and sees it’s the letters he’s written to you.

“What is this—“ he looks at the floor. His eyes widened. “You brought the letters I wrote to you.” He mutters as he looks at the floor. He picks up a letter and opens the letter. Each entry in his letters is always ‘my darling wife’.

“Of course I did, and I regret opening them all.” Hearing how your voice wavered, Welt looks at you. Tears are formed in your eyes. Welt takes a step to you but you take a step back, shaking your head. “No, don’t come closer to me.”

“I need to be close to you.” He pleads softly and you shake your head. “No, especially not after what you wrote to me.”

“Did I write something bad to you?”

“You professing your love for me in the letters is bad enough.”

“Is that so?” Welt takes a step closer.

“Stop!” You take a step back the more he steps closer to you. But to no avail, you feel your dresser at the back of your thighs and you push at Welt’s chest. But since he’s so strong, it’s to no avail. He traps you between him and the dresser, caging you in by placing each hand on each side of you on the dresser.

“Is me loving you really that bad, wife?” You nod your head. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re too late.” You retort and Welt sighs.

“You’re undermining yourself too much.” Welt says and pulls his body closer into you. Your body meets his fully, if he gets closer enough, your breasts will get squeezed up against his chest. Then you feel his hands on your waist before he lifts you up to make you sit on the dresser. Then he stands between your thighs and you try to push him away. He grabs your hands in each hand of his. He sees how much you’ve fiddled with your hands to the point you’ve been scratching at your nails.

“You need to stop doing this.” He softly mumbles as he takes your fingers closer to his face before he kisses your fingertips, all while looking you in the eyes. Your breath hitches and your tears fell down even more.

“It’s never too late to fall in love with you.” He softly tells you, looking into your eyes.

“Stop doing this to me, please. It hurts.” You whine and Welt shakes his head. He lets go of your hands and cups your face. He wipes your tears away but they just keep coming.

“Please, stop crying baby.” He pleads and you shake your head. “It’s all your fault. For hurting me like this, for playing with my feelings and faking those letters. I thought you loved and cherished me.”

“I do, I still love you! You’re all I think about every single second of all days.”

“You’re lying.” You shake your head again. “I don’t believe you.”

“Would you believe me I did this to you out of fear?” And your eyes widen. You look at Welt and see how his eyes are glistening in tears.

“Would you believe me if I said I faked those letters because of my fear of marriage?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” Your voice shakes. “Did you hurt me because you’re afraid of being married? I don’t understand, Welt.” Said man wishes he could focus on the way you said his name, the way he got to hear your pretty voice utter his name and not by his title.

“Since I’ve grown up, I’ve witnessed my parent’s marriage. To say it was bad is an understatement. Because of these two, marriages have left a bad taste for me.”

“Then why did you marry me?” You grip onto the front of his clothes, trying to shake him. “Why me, Welt? You would have spared me all this misery and your apologies had you not married me!” You cry out.

“Because I loved you the moment I met you!” Welt raises his words as his grip on your face pulls you closer to his face and you flinch in surprise. “I’ve loved you since the day your eyes widened at the sight of me, since the day I heard your lovely voice which continues to play out in my head all day long. Ever since I saw your eyes land upon me, I’ve loved you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I hurt you, baby. Because of my fear and distrust in marriages, I’ve pushed you away and hurt you in the most unimaginable way. Because I loved you so much, I couldn’t break off our marriage. That would mean your smiles would belong to someone else one day and that lucky man would hear your voice every day.”

“And you would not.” You add in and Welt nods.

“The letters Himeko wrote, I’m sorry. I would’ve prevented all this had I told you everything.”

“And you should’ve told me after sending out the first letter Himeko wrote.” You push at his shoulder. “Did you not feel bad for what you did? Not once?”

“Of course I did.”

“Why did you continue?”

“It would mean our marriage would’ve been spent apart unless for our duties. It would mean I wouldn’t hurt you the way my father hurt my mother.”

“But you did hurt me, Welt.” He flinches and nods his head. “I did.”

“How long are you gonna make it up to me?” You ask and Welt looks at you.

“As long as I live.” He sincerely says, looking into your eyes and your grip on the front of his clothes tightens before swatting at his chest . He lets go of his hold on your face, his hands falling down by your side. He was about to turn away when he felt you stop him by wrapping your thighs around his waist.

“You do not walk away from me, Welt.”

Welt looks at you surprised, he feels his body and face flush in warmth at the way you’re squeezing him with your thighs. He wished he wore lighter clothes so he could feel you even deeper.

“I don’t understand-“ You grab his face and lean in to kiss him. Welt’s eyes widen when he feels your lips upon his. Then you pull away. He stares at you for a few seconds before he takes your lips in a kiss. He wraps his hands around your neck and pulls you in to deepen the kiss. The kiss was slow and deep, as if the love Welt professed in his letters to you wasn’t enough, he poured out even more in the kiss. You could cry from this alone and you did. Welt tastes some salt in the kiss, he pulls away panting when he sees how you’re crying.

“Why are you crying? I’m so sorry baby, I’m so-“ his words are cut off by your lips on his.

“I cant-“ he gets cut off when you kiss down on his lower lip. He groans when you nip on his lips then he pulls away once more. You whine at the loss of his mouth on yours. “Baby, please tell me why you’re crying.”

“It’s you!” You cry out before kissing him once more. Welt is surprised but he was also confused, what did he do this time? He just wants to make it up to you and have you quit crying. The sight of your tears is constant daggers at his heart. He can’t stand the sight of them.

He pulls your face away from his and you whimper out once more. “Stop doing that.” You plead, about to go in for one more kiss. Why is he being insufferable? Why can’t he just let you kiss him?

“I don’t understand what I did, my love. If I don’t know why you’re crying and I’m the reason for it, I won’t be able to survive until I know you’re satisfied with my apologies.” He rambles on and you just stare at him. He grows even more confused but flustered, especially at how you’re glancing down at his lips. And mostly because of the way your hands are trailing down from his face to his collarbone and stopping at his chest. You slide your fingers in the opening of his buttoned shirt, feeling his bare skin on your fingertip. He feels you squeeze him even tighter with your thighs, he almost yelped forward.

“Who told you I was satisfied with your first apologies in the first place?” And Welt turns quiet. You see the screws unfold in his head before you lightly giggle at his reaction, then your giggles turn into laughter when you see he gets even more confused.

“So you pretended to have forgiven me just to kiss me?” He finally catches on to your teasing and your eyes widens. “I didn’t know my darling wife had this side to her.” He lightly gasps and you swat at his chest.

“Maybe if you didn’t make Himeko write these letters and you wrote them in the first place, we would have consummated our marriage on our wedding night.” And then it was your time to shut up. Both yours and Welts eyes widened in surprise at your words. Feeling embarrassed and utterly humiliated by what you said, you push Welt away. He moves to the side and when you get off your dresser and take a few steps away from him, he grabs your wrist and turns you around.

You couldn’t protest before you feel yourself get lifted in the air then suddenly you feel something soft on your entire back. Welt just threw you on your bed. Then he gets on your bed and you try to get away but it’s to no avail.

He pins you on the bed, spreading your thighs as he seats himself between them. He takes off his outer garment, throws it aside before he hovers above you.

“Welt- what are you doing?” You stutter out, flustered at the way he manhandled you so easily. You knew your husband was a strong man, he carried a sword for aeon’s sake. Those things are heavy. Of course he can handle you physically like you weigh nothing.

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me why I made you cry.”

“I have answered your question-oh!” You feel him nip on your neck. He licks the spot on your neck before he lightly sucks on it. Soft moans leave your lips as you grip onto his hair.

“No, my darling wife, you did not.” He mumbles against your skin. Now he’s lowering down to your collarbone. Because of your nightgown being of such soft material, it was easy to tug it down. If Welt tugged it even further with his finger, your breasts would spill out of their confinements in your nightgown. He does the same thing he did to your neck on your collarbone.

“Ah! Welt, not there, it’s gonna be difficult to cover up with my dresses.” You manage to say and Welt shakes his head. “If it’s impossible to cover up, that’s good enough for me.” He trails his hands from your collarbone down your sides to grip onto your thighs. As you move below his body to get out of his body hovering over you, you brush your heat against his clothed crotch and Welt moans. You stop in your actions.

“I told you I wouldn’t stop until you answer my question.” Welt mutters out before he lightly rolls his hips against yours and a breathy moan escapes your lips. This feels so good, you run your hands over his back. You crumple his clothes in your hands before you could feel his bare skin on his back.

“Then I won’t answer your question.” Welt’s eyes darken at your words. His hold on your thighs moves up and he squeezes your breasts through your nightgown. You gasp at the touch. He feels how your nipples are perked through your gown and he pinches them through the material. You let out a hitched moan. He does all this while also rolling his hips against you.

“I’ve dreamt about you like this. Below me, at my mercy as you let out sweet sounds by how I make you feel.” Welts words have you deeply sighing. “That day at the fountain? It plays out in my mind every day. Every day I wonder what would have happened had I tugged your chemise off and let your breasts spill out.” You moan at his words and at his hips softly rolling against you. You shake your head, whispering soft ‘stop’ but he doesn’t stop.

“Had I stood between your thighs, would you have let me take you right then and there?” Your eyes widens but you shake your head, Welt chuckles deeply. “Baby, if you react like this, are you sure you wouldn’t let me?” You bite down on your lower lip then give up, your head nods and you see how Welt smiles.

“You would have been with my child already if we consummated our marriage at the fountain.” Welt leans down to whisper by your ear and your eyes widens. Shoots of pleasure run through your body and you feel your heart beat even faster at the thought of what he said. “My child.” He mumbles as he lightly bites down your earlobe. You whine as you shake your head.

“I wouldn’t let you do that.” You huff out but whines escape your lips when you feel how Welt stops rolling his hips against you. He stares at you and you were about to cry because of him doing that when he chuckles.

“Look at you, do you not see how your fingers are fumbling with my pants, my love?” At his words, you look down and see how he’s right. Did you just subconsciously reach down to do this? You grow flustered.

He resumes his hips rolling against yours and you feel a knot form in your lower abdomen. You dug your heels into his back as you grip onto his hair this time.

“Welt, I will-oh!” Your knot in your abdomen grows tighter when you feel one of his hands on your bare cunt and he rolls his fingertips on your clit. As he continues for a few more moments, the knot releases, your thighs shudder and you feel a wave of relief come over you.

“Do you not wear underwear, wife?” And you feel even hotter and flustered than you did before. Welt pulls his hand out from below your gown and you see his fingers covered in your slick. You see how he’s looking at it, then your eyes widen when he takes them in his mouth. “No don’t-“ and his eyes fluttered at the taste of you. Not being able to handle how he reacted to the taste of your essence, you turn your head to the side.

“I cried because your love for me is overwhelming in every way possible.” You ignore his question right now to answer his other one. With your head tilted to the side, your hands fall from his back to hold onto the bed sheets.

“Is it a good thing, my love?”

Seeing you nod your head, Welt felt a surge of happiness wash over him and he slumps his entire body over your own. You let out a oumph because this man is heavy. You push at his side trying to make him get off and release his entire body weight off yours.

“I love you.” He mutters against your neck before he buries his face there. Welt felt happy once more when you, for the first time, wrapped your hands around his body to hug him.

—

The same day, Welt had fallen asleep in your arms. He was lightly snoring with his head on your chest. You were still in your chemise and you felt how sticky your thighs felt when you rub them against each other.

With the heavy man on your body, you tried to not wake him up as you slid your arms away from below him and gently put his head on the pillow. He moves in his sleep but grabs onto your chemise. Even though he's asleep, he’s somehow got a hold on you. You gently unfold his fingers on your chemise and get up from the bed.

You approach the bowl of water, take the towel and clean yourself up. While you do, you remember what had occurred after he came home.

You never knew he hurt you because he grew up with a bad image of a marriage. When it’s understandable why he grew to detest it, it doesn’t justify him hurting you the way he did. But you’re telling yourself his words and actions are sincere. This man has cried in front of you multiple times, he’s put your own comfort before his without hesitation and complains. He’s told you his deepest part of himself.

Your heart and love has always been with Welt, even through the time he’s done everything to have you forgive him. And you have.

As your thoughts wander further, you remember what happened after he told you everything. Your body flushes in warmth and your heart beats faster. The way he made you feel by his body and his hands touching you in your most intimate parts. You hastily clean yourself up and are about to adjust your chemise when you feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. You lightly yelp in surprise and Welt giggles at your reaction as he nuzzles his face in your neck.

“It’s gotten late, I didn’t realize we fell asleep.” Welt mumbles against your neck and you hum in reply as you put the towel back in the bowl of water.

You turn around to face him and Welt looks at you. As you look into his eyes, you see how they’re getting wet and you get worried.

“Why are you sad, Welt?” He shakes his head, smiling as you cup his face. He nuzzles his face into your palms. “You’re finally looking at me, I’m just happy is all.” At his words you chuckle.

“Didn’t know you were such a crybaby.” You tease lightly and Welt playfully rolls his eyes. As he did that, a tear fell down and you giggled at the sight. “I think you’ve cried more than me actually.” He sighs and you pout.

“Did you clean yourself up? I thought I ended up in a different bedroom when I didn’t see you in bed.” You nod your head, growing flustered as to why you cleaned yourself up.

“Do you wanna take a bath?” He asks and you nod your head. “Yeah, I’ve been cooped up in the bedroom all day.”

Welt calls for a maid to run a bath for you. As she prepares the bath, she doesn’t miss the two love marks on your neck and collarbone. She hastily looked away blushing and you saw it all. You subconsciously put your hands on your neck as Welt was still in the room. If he sees you flustered, you think he’d tease you all night long. And maybe say these sweet words he told you hours before. Your heart fluttered at the thought.

“The bath is done, your majesty.” The maid says as she bows her head. You thank her softly and the maid sees how your husband is still in the room and how you haven’t undressed yet to get into the bath.

“Fetch a servant for the king, to run a bath for himself as well.” As soon as you utter these words, you feel a warm presence behind you. Welt strokes his fingers up and down your wrist before intertwining your hand.

“There’s no need for that, you may leave.” Welt speaks up from behind you and your body burns up and you grow even more flustered.

“Yes, your majesty.”

The maid bows and leaves you two alone. You didn’t speak a word as Welt undressed himself before helping you. You feared if you did, there’d be no stopping your stuttering. Your heart feels like it’s gonna beat out of its place when you see Welt in his naked glory, which you refused to let your eyes wander further down, get inside the bath and reach his hand out for you to take. And you did. He helps you step inside the bath.

He leans against the bathtub and sees how your body further disappears in the water as you lean on the other side of the bathtub. Welt complains to the aeons in his head, why’s the water of cream-ish colour? Had it been clear water, he would be able to see your beautiful body. Welt internally slaps himself for his perverse thoughts.

“You could’ve had a bath run for yourself.” You mumble. He sees you draw circles on the water and he smiles. “And not take the chance to have a bath with my lovely wife?” He grins at you. He takes your hand and tugs you forward. But you don’t budge.

“Come on.” Welt pouts and you shake your head. “No.” You simply say and Welt pouts even more.

“Why not?” And you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know.” You say as you submerge your lower half of your face in the water. Welt looks at you confused but then he sees how you refuse to meet his eyes. And it clicks in his head.

“Are you nervous, my love?” Your eyes widened in surprise and you shook your head. “No I’m not.” You retort and Welt chuckles.

“You are.”

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are nervous.”

“I said I’m not!” You stand up in haste from the bath. Which resulted in water almost splashed at Welt. He wipes the water that landed on his face with his hand before he looks at you. You’re standing with your fists by your thighs and there’s water droplets running down your body.

You look like you’ve been carved by the aeons themselves. You are divine.

You realized what you did when you felt Welt’s hand graze yours. When he softly strokes your wrist before softly intertwining your fingers, he lightly tugs you forward.

“Come to me.” His voice was deep but so gentle, all you did was quietly obey despite your eyes widening a little.

He made you sit in between his thighs and when his brown eyes locked with yours, you felt your body flush but all he did was show you a gentle smile. He gently cups your face, leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“If you place your hand on my heart, you’d feel how fast it’s beating when I’m in close proximity to you.” He confesses softly by your ear then pulls away. So you place your hand on his chest and he’s right.

It’s pounding so fast and hard against his skin, if it was possible, you think you could hear his heartbeats without a tool for it or being far from him.

You feel his hands trail down the sides of your body and then he lightly turns your body around. As if it’s a common thing, you lean your body against his chest. His arms are warm and snug as they’re wrapped around your waist.

“My heart has been like this ever since I met you. If I hear your familiar steps, or mentions of you, it truly feels like all my heart and soul wants to do is to be with you.” His words do nothing but bring happy tears to your eyes as your own heart swells up in love for him. You feel him stroke your abdomen, rubbing circles on your skin and you feel so content and in love.

“I regret every day for hurting you. And I regret not being a good man to you.”

“But you are, even if I have said something different from that months ago.” You hastily throw in as you look up at him and you hear Welt chuckle.

“My love, a good man doesn’t hurt the one he loves. Which I did.” He strokes your cheek softly and you shake your head.

“But you made it up to me, have you not? In every words you’ve written to me in your own letters and in every single thing you’ve done for me.” You tell him as you flip your body around. You kneel in front of him as you cup his face.

“You may have hurt me deeply but you gained my forgiveness. You have earned me back, Welt.” You told him, looking into his eyes and Welt’s brown eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe your words.

“Have I, truly?” He sounded so unsure and you flash him a soft smile. Before speaking up once more, you take your seat on his lap by placing each thigh of yours beside each side of his body. Welt looks down at how your body is connected so intimately and he holds onto your waist.

“A man who hasn’t earned me, wouldn’t make my heart race out of its place in my ribcage and have it be held in your hands to be kept safe.“ Welt’s eyes flicker all over your face and he sees such a genuine smile on your face and his grip on your waist tightens.

“If you haven’t earned me, I wouldn’t have loved you even during the times you did everything to gain my forgiveness.” You see how his eyes wells up in tears and you can’t help the giggle that escapes your mouth.

“I knew you could be this endearing ever since I saw you enter the lounge room when we first met each other.” You stroke his cheek with your thumb and Welt chuckles lightly.

“What I didn’t know is that I would have fallen for the same man who blushes at the mere presence of me and whose heart escapes his chest every time when I’m in proximity or mentioned.” You confess to him and tears fall down Welt’s eyes.

“I’m sorry for all I did.” He shakes his head, his voice quavering and you lightly shake yours. “I know you are.” You softly tell him.

“I love you endlessly.” His grip on your waist is hardening and your own eyes wells up in tears at the raw emotion and the pure love you feel emitting from Welt. “I love you, Welt.” His tear stricken eyes and face stills before he pulls your body in closer and rubs his face in your bare chest, his hands grazing up and down your bare back, squeezing you here and then.

“Every moment of my day is spent thinking of you, not a day goes by where I don’t wanna see your beautiful face or hear your voice. Not a day in this world is there a moment I don’t love you.” He leans away and holds your neck gently, gazing into your eyes and you lightly bite down on your lips at the intense stare of his eyes and how much love you can see in them. All of it feels overwhelmingly good.

“I may be a king of this kingdom and to the people, but I am yours.” He articulated so firmly, you didn’t know what else to do but just softly nod your head as you softly suck in your bottom lip and Welt’s eyes flickers down to your lips. He subconsciously leans in and you do as well but your mouths just brushes against each other. It’s as if this could be the first time you feel each other's lips upon each other.

“Can I kiss you?” His whisper was quiet but you heard it. A soft chuckle leaves your lips before you nod your head. “Yes.” You mumble out before he presses his lips on yours.

It felt like you could finally breathe, so you breathe into the kiss before kissing Welt back. If he didn’t verbally confess his love, this would be it. Your lips a tangled mess, all you could do is kiss and kiss, flutter your hands down his chest and feel his bare skin.

Greedy and needing more and more, Welt gently squeezes your neck as you softly moan into the kiss before he tilts your head to deepen the kiss deeper than ever. Your hands reach up tug on his hair and pull his head back, to meet his lips in a needier kiss.

Welt’s hand flutters down your body and your body flutters in ecstasy at his touch, even his touches are overwhelmed with love. You’re soft and warm everywhere as his own body is firm and hardened against yours.

With a firmer tug to his hair, Welt groans into the kiss and you take the chance to nibble and suck on his tongue and drew a guttural sound from him as you continued down to nibble on his lower lip. Your lips wander down to his jaw, pressing kisses and emitting sounds from Welt you’d imagine about. Your lips wander further down to his neck, at a certain spot, it had Welt squirming from below you and you decided to give that one place more attention. Attention by sucking before lightly biting down, extracting a breathy moan from his mouth.

About to continue, you felt Welt wrap his hands around your neck before he leaned your head away. You let out a soft whine before you got shut up by a rough kiss, you moan into his mouth before a gasp draws out from you when you feel Welt’s hand on your backside.

“Marking me like that, my love, I could have come from that alone when I’d rather do that inside of you.” This was his first mention of coming inside you and you felt your heat squeeze down on nothing.

“Coming inside just to fill me up or to make me with child?” And his hips bucks into your cunt from below and you moan at the friction you felt.

“Careful, I did also say I wanna enjoy our time as two for a while.” He says against your mouth and a soft whimper is heard from you before you nod your head. So it’s just to fill you up, you think to yourself, your entire body feels like it’s on something else than just ecstasy. It feels like an addiction.

And to Welt, you are an addiction. The way your body responds to him, the way only he can make such sweet sounds emit from your soft lips and the way he’s the only one to have you. You might not have said it yourself, but while Welt is yours, you are wholeheartedly his.

It is an obsession.

—

The Duke and Duchess of Stellaron were met with their king and queen at their doorstep, without guards and footmen. They were holding hands and the king had a reddish color to his cheeks. And the queen’s smile was so big, you’d wonder if her cheeks hurt. The happiness was immense if you looked at the two.

Apparently you and Welt decided to do a little runaway from the country mansion, have a little time for you two without your staff. The duke and the duchess couldn’t hold back their laughter when you told them of how you managed to be alone without your staff.

To be with these two, you’re glad you found a friendship in them.

You were walking side by side with the duchess, arms linked together as her husband and yours walked in front of you, chatting away about something.

“You look happy, my queen.” The duchess softly says and you look at her with a smile.

“I am happy.” You assure her and she smiles back at you.

“I’ve always felt your smile wasn’t wholeheartedly real just a week ago. I suspect the king is the reason behind your smile right now.” You giggle at the duchess's words before nodding your head.

“We had a long year and to have mended our relationship, it has lightened my shoulders. And I also have you to thank for it.” The duchess stills in surprise, you know she’s gonna ask what she could have possibly done to make it better. So you speak before she could.

“My husband told me of how you suggested that he shall talk to me, not just apologize. While my husband may be a wise king, as a man I doubt he’d think of that solution.” You chuckle at your own words and the duchess tries to hold back her laugh. But in the end, she stops you two from walking and takes your hand in a soft grasp.

“I’m truly happy to see my dear friend and my queen, to be so happy. And I’m glad a simple solution of mine has made your relationship with the king better.” You softly thank her once more and as you’re about to continue your walk with the duchess, your husband approaches you.

“My love, our guards have found us.” Welt says as he points behind him and you giggle. He looks almost defeated to have his escapade with you ended so quickly. And his talk with the duke, whose company he’s grown to enjoy. And have possibly found a friendship in.

“I think it’s time for us to go home, Welt.” You tell him as Welt takes your hand in his and he sighs, agreeing much with your words.

—

The staff at the royal mansion in the Kingdom of Astral have never seen their king and queen this happy. While Welt always takes your hand as he helps you down the carriage, you two immediately went to your own routines when entering the mansion, but this time, you two are engaged in a handhold.

The floor your bedchamber and Welt is at, has become different as well. It was well known that the king and queen never shared a bedchamber but to see you two enter one bedchamber together and share it, the staff couldn’t help but feel only happiness for you two.

“Do you think the servants find it uncommon for us to share a bedchamber now?” You ask Welt from your chaise as you comb your hair. He’s taking off his robe, revealing his toned and firm upper body. Disappointingly, he kept his pants on.

“I can imagine it’s an unusual sight for them.” He replies as you nod in agreement. Welt comes up behind you. He takes the comb in your hand and brushes your hair for you.

“This is our first night together in this bedchamber.” You hear Welt say and your heart flutters. A year ago, you started having separate bedchambers and now a year later, you’re sharing one.

“I can go to the other one if you want to.” You tease Welt but he doesn't seem to catch on, so he stops brushing your hair and stills in shock. You see his reaction from the mirror of your dresser. You turn around and you laugh, Welt’s eyes widened as he catches on. He falls down on his knees, burying his face on your lap.

“Oh aeons, you frightened me.” He breathes out in relief as you giggle. You run your fingers through his brown hair. “I don’t think I can’t go a day without sleeping in the same bed as you.” You hear Welt huff out and you giggle once more.

“Then you shall never hurt me, nor I you.” You say as Welt looks up. He holds your waist and kneels in between your thighs. As tall he is, he is still taller as he kneels in front of you. He nods his head firmly.

“I vow to never hurt you, I promise you that.” You smile at him as you nod your head. “I know you do.” You assure him.

“And if you hurt me, I possibly deserved it.” You lightly swat his chest at his words as he grins at you. Then he stands up as he grabs your hand. He pulls you to the bed. You get in the covers as Welt does it as well. Not a second passed by when your head touched the pillow, Welt’s arms are wrapped around you and your body is plush against his chest.

You place your forehead on his bare shoulder, breathing in his scent by the V of his neck. He smells so good. You didn’t miss the touch of Welt pressing a loving kiss on the top of your head.

“I love you.” He utters softly as he cranes his head down to brush his lips against your mouth. You smile softly, rubbing your lips against his. “I know you do.” You mutter back. And Welt knows you love him back.

—

pervert welt gets me going whouhfffffff

Also if you read till the end, thank you so much! i hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing this >< leave a like and reblog if you did, would be so much appreciated mwah

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