#and how to have a stable childhood
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AU in which CPS gets called on Aunt Agatha and Celia is put into the foster system at age 5
#in this au she’s bounced from place to place#and she’s obviously a prodigy but no one’s willing to give her a whole lot of support#let ALONE sending her to some probably very expensive boarding school#so she can’t go#and ahe doesn’t have the book of Nawanc mind you so the kynoseur is acting like a glorified messenger for all this#and she doesn’t learn formal training for her gift so she has to learn on her own#but she thinks it’s all pretty stupid#because she’s way more absorbed with getting by in the foster system#and she’s in emotional distress after having been taken away from a family that was a really good fit for her#so she decides that she has interest in being the chosen one for a secret society that has done nothing to help her#and she makes it her goal to become a lawyer#so she can protect children from the turmoils of mishandled foster care#and she turns down the Princep position but is a kickass lawyer#and the princep chosen instead of her is professor legaspi or doxa or someone#and they hire her as a consultant to help with trying to figure out what to do with Neeghan#because without Celia’s intervention casimir got sick of holding them as a trump card#and just got rid of them because they were liabilities#and only Neeghan managed to escape#and they realize there’s a blood relation between the two and the rest of the series is them learning how to live a normal life#and how to have a stable childhood#celias journey#alternate universes
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I finally decided to finish Steven Universe Future and its a little scary how much I identified with Steven this time around. Who am I kidding it was like looking in a mirror. . I have got to move the FUCK out
#i fell off of my therapy appointments but once i find a new one i dont even need to talk i could just show her the 2nd half of SU future#and say this is how i feel. its so stupidly exactly how i feel at its core. the childhood trauma ptsd. the self loathing. GOD the self loat#ing.#i dont have a connie though. and my family kind of sucks. and uh its not an era of peace and uh things are bad from all angles#this is why i gotta move out and back with people who are healthier for me to live with. man im struggling a lot with my health and unemplo#yment. not just my mental health anymore but my physical health too.#i just gotta. keep a stable job and make sure my mom or my brother dont have mental breakdowns and help my brother with his kids and#sorry yall who read my tags its dire out here
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Feel free to answer this privately!! But Id feel bad if I didn't point this out so.
you shut your fuck
#/j#kay q&a#funnily enough literally everything i said about junpei the person can and does apply to how i feel about junepei the ship#if i was properly literate i might’ve said something along the lines of ‘junpei the girl made you endure at least three deaths#four if you’re on ios!#and the very next time you see her a full year later YOU HAVE A FUCKING *RING*?! ON HAND?! YOU *PLANNED* TO PROPOSE TO YOUR MANIPULATOR?!’#‘how would you have done it differently’ how would i have written romance? in a *death game*???#*looks at mirakane* um. don’t uh. don’t look too deep into that.#(funnily enough this question is ALSO answered in the remaining two Junpei fragments)#(but to answer your question now: he certainly didn’t buy a fucking *engagement ring* and then bring it to a *death game*)#((i actually like how i handled the ring in ZWG: Deviation. you may praise me.))#what did i say on the last post? imagine handing a jerk your puppet strings?#that again but replace puppet strings with your favorite phallic euphemism#i don’t like junepei very much. which is surprising considering how much i DO like childhood friend romances.#but Akane is just a little too manipulative to be a stable partner for Junpei imo#i don’t know if she’s like. capable of Not Manipulating Him. ‘for his own good’ or otherwise.
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honestly miranda's a lot more insecure than she will ever let anyone else know about or even mentally recognize and realize in herself - its just also in such specific and bizarre ways that no one ever picks up on it
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#its because of the merkingdom. just. theres no mystery this is absolutely why this is#and also the conflict between#merfolk cultural standards and their norms and what the lands cultural standards and norms are like#honestly merfolk dont lose a lot of their neural plasticity when it comes to social behavior even as they age#because being able to keep up with and maintain bonds and match even small changes in their social groups#were large evolutionary pressures that allowed them to function as they do#that its a little like miranda never fully left the part of childhood where youre just a social sponge#which. again. normal for merfolk. normal for even very old merfolk to be constantly learning new social tricks#its just a problem when she comes up to land and the only other merfolk around is bellanda#and theres a LOT of casual or indirect or even outright rejection of her needs as a merfolk#she has all sorts of new body image issues that she never had before#because she got slapped into a situation where people keep treating her badly because of them#this is also why bellanda and aaravi end up being so important as a part of a stable miivt'ia with her#because that plasticity prioritizes by relationship hierarchy#so if ravi and bells are fine with something and even outright indignant about it#then miri will default more to them being the ''norm'' than anyone else#i just like how much merfolk approach socialization and social behavior from the non-mammalian perspective#of effectively just retaining a social learning curve instead of the way mammals will settle into an ''adult'' socialization#and merfolk having the opposite of most mammals#where theyre far more independent as children and way more social as adults#where the lopsided attachment in parent-child relationships actually has the parent being more attached#hmmmm#which now makes me think high neural plasticity would help them with their long lifespans (already helped by being large and coldblooded)#and staving off the effects of aging by keeping their brains healthier for longer#things to thinks upon
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This scene in Yakuza 0 where Nishiki says "Without you, I'll always be nothing" and "If you're not with me, I'm useless! Nothing means anything!" to Kiryu
But it's Takeomi @ Shinichiro
#i cant really see Shinichiro as Kiryu but Takeomi as Nishiki ? Both have no self-esteem. heavily rely on their childhood friend.#and they both turn out horribly bc of that#tr#tokrev#tokyo revengers#tok rev#tr takeomi#tokrev takeomi#takeomi akashi#tr shinichiro#tokrev shinichiro#shinichiro sano#shinomi#shippers how are yall feeling? still here?#the only mentally stable in this whole story is like... Hinata. And even her witnessed a death (+saw emma's corpse) so shes not all good#omishin#sunshower🌦
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anyway. nishiki and majima are both borderline and i could do a whole case study on either of them about it. send tweet
#im pretty flexible about most hcs regarding mental disorders and such but this take is one im like pretty fucking steadfast on#and I could write. an absurd amount about it. cause psychoanalyzing the shit out of characters is literally like. what I do for a living#and I have a weird special interest in abnormal psych and the dsm-5 in my closet and a psychologist for a mother and etc#but yeah so#inquire further at your own risk because I will talk. I will talk a lot#the only issue with majima is that I can’t evaluate his childhood and family life and just. his fundamental years of development in general#which is a pretty big deal when it comes to assessing for any personality disorder#nishiki oh yeah I absolutely can. but yeah we know basically nothing about majimas fundamental years. all I can really do is reverse#engineer so to speak based on how he is as an adult and what causes a person to do the things he does / be the way he is / etc#but of course that’d all be very very loose and hypothetical. FASCINATING to think about to me but obviously would have to be taken with a#huge grain of salt and be considered very very speculative#but I can say for sure that he didn’t have a stable and perfect home life/family life growing up I think that’s pretty safe to assume#anything more detailed than that is way more speculative but. yeah. I don’t think he was just. Normal. up until he was 20#his identity issues run way too deep for me to accept that concept#anyway I need to shut up#majima#nishiki#rambling
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thinking about hdb while holding my head in my hands and suffering
#my posts#i cant fully articulate this#idk if i have the time either#but. help. i will tag this with my organization tags. i may see this at some other time and maybe ill be able to so#disco elysium#hdb#im just thinking about him and martinaise harry and his childhood and the 15th indotribe thing and dora#how probably considering the type of friends he had and how they all ended..... they were probably all like him personality wise#like. im not saying they were bad people like harry was kind of an asshole but not fully#like they were all a bunch of teens in a bad situation trying to make the best of it however they can and well... didnt work out too well#but what i mean is that i think thats partially why he got that level of attached to dora? she didnt go through what he did#she had the money to not go through that she was stable she was a constant in his life that was pure and that wasnt always#going through something. a guide. harry went to her like a moth to a fire with pure devotion bc she was everything he never had#she probably also treated him different than what all his previous friends would have. i imagine her to be very gentle#and harry probably never got to know too much about people being soft so that was also. new. but somethign imposible to him#so i can see how he would love her like that to the point of basically worshipping her as god and how he would still love her#years after it went to shit even when he cant remember anything. it makes sense#i think they were engaged bc the wedding gown but idk if its said in game. but he loved her enough to want to marry her in a world#where real love isnt possible for him but only for new people in a new world he still wanted that with her even if it didnt work out#he holds to whatever he can of her as a lifeline and i. man. dude. yeah no i get him#idk how long they were together but it also doesnt matter bc of how harry is as a person#also of course at first it was all good. she was basically fixing him but he cant get fixed only with love in a world like that!#or with a life like his... it was always going to go down. and i. dude#... i am thinking about this as someone who still loves someone and we werent even dating like#i think if we dated and it went bad like. i think id be in a similar situation to harry tbh. i get him#yeah no yeah lmao i do think of this person also sort of as the only good thing in my life#and i am glad she did reject me when i confessed bc if i had fully lost her i dont know where id be? but also man its been 7 years#of the rejection and basically 10 of falling for her. i get harry so fucking badly on this one USHDGIUHUSG#ok in the end i did say what i had to say but in the tags i dont think ill make a proper post out of it#but i did write it in a way that wasnt articulated for a post so i think i was right making it like this lmao
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Tell me about your tattoos if you have them and or what tattoos you want
i have two tattoos, and i plan to get more!
i got the first one two days after my 18th birthday, i had been planning it forever. it's a memorial piece for my first dog Rocky. I got it on the outside of my thigh, very high up so most of it is covered when i wear shorts.
i covered up the bit with his face because i dont like to share it very much, im terrified of the idea of someone finding a picture of it and getting the exact same tattoo because that's my dog and he meant the world to me. i know its a bit of an irrational fear, and i dont worry about it with my other designs, but i try not to share it online fully, but heres a different picture of him!
the flowers underneath are red roses, lilies, and forget me nots, for their specific meanings
the next tattoo i got just a couple months ago for a 7 year friend-iversary
its based on several layers of inside jokes
my long-term tattoo goal is to fill out my leg like a sleeve made of individual tattoos. i also intend to design all of my own tattoos.
some other ones i have in mind for my next ones are - a ghost (i always draw sheet ghosts the same way) - the mystery machine from scooby doo - the irken invader symbol from invader zim - a swarm of bats (probably on my inner thigh) - moon phases - lavender (and amethyst?)
more context for things in the tags
#we had to put rocky down in 2019 because he had a heart condition and he had torn both his ACLs#and both of those things together meant neither could be surgically dealt with#(his heart was not stable enough for him to go under for surgery#and he would have to exercise and lose weight for his heart to even have a chance of being more stable)#(this was all after his battle with cancer)#the red roses on the skull side are for mourning#the lilies in the middle are for a strong calming energy#and the forget me nots are self explanatory#i met my best friend in middle school and we always ended up sitting next to the trash cans so that became and inside joke#plus her favorite animal is a racoon and mine is a opossum#the tea part is kind of an inside joke i dont even know how to begin explaining#but also he's just spilling the tea#and shes the only person i do that with#ghosts and bats because halloween is life#scooby doo and invader zim are both shows that have been a big part of my life since childhood#moon phases because first theyre witchy#second because i like to celebrate the phases of life and how things and people change over time#third its a reminder to live by the seasons#and lavender because it is my favorite flower and i feel like it represents me#and amethyst is my favorite crystal as well as being my birthstone so i feel like it also represents me#i would probably get lavender and amethyst to fill out space between tattoos#tattoos#this ended up longer than i thought it would#the first one is a mirror pic btw#it is backwards kdjbhsg#tattoo
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Spoke to my idol the other day.
#sirius is rambling again#text post#it's odd#i'd have thought they were just as inaccessible as the others#but they were weirdly chatty and i felt like if i pushed too much they'd grow disinterested#so i kind of gave them a cut-off reply#online of course i don't have irl idols#i know everyone is human and putting people on a pedastel is a recipe for disaster#but i really admired them a lot from afar and figured i'd throw some words of encouragement at them when they were feeling a bit unsure#of themselves#kind of happened on pixiv as well#i thought the language barrier would make it so that i wouldn't be able to communicate with them#but it seems everyone and their mom is bilingual (except me)#and they responded with enthusiasm#it's so strange to me#i keep thinking that i'm basically spunk under a pipe#yet i get humored every now and then by people whose talents i respect#i don't know whether to feel encouraged or somewhat offput#part of me wants or expects my idols to be stuck-up assholes as my childhood idols had been#you know - the ones that would make fun of you for being unsure#but i think every art idol i managed to speak to thus far has been weirdly nice to me specifically#not to say they weren't assholes or groomers or something heinous of the sort#i hope i am not anyone's idol#i had been told that i was in the past and it was a weird responsibility to bear#because it makes the weight of your words multiply#i almost didn't want them to see me as a human or that i made mistakes#so that i could give them some sort of stable footing y'know?#but that was in the apst and they don't even spare me a second thought these days#due to barriers#i wonder if making new accounts like this is how i escape from commitment
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when i cook him into a five course meal, nurture and water him for years, then he gets some new girl (younger than us, of course, she hasn't been scorned yet), and uses all the swag he stole from me to win her over (including my music taste). and of course, she's pretty and probably likable. then they remain together for this whole time (around 1 year) and we were together for approximately 3-4 yrs (we were on and off). they got together approximately 1-2 months after we ended things (i finally decided to have self respect). tell me what kind of sick karma this is, to have my work stolen so easily and to be discarded so quickly. honestly the audacity. i wish i had never cooked, if i didn't i guarantee he would never be able to get another girl so fast (he used to just stare at me when i cried and i taught him empathy, he also had zero rizz and he stole my rizz). i think my evil witch of a mother put a curse on me as soon as i was conceived in the womb because she hated me as soon as that sperm combined w her egg. can someone tell me which god i have to make a sacrifice to for these people to get their karma and me to actually get what i want for once (genuine love and affection)?
#screaming crying pissing shitting vomiting#hitting my head into a brick wall#sacrificing my first born child under the full moon#selling my soul to satan#like tell me how thats fair#after everything#he has the audacity to steal my rizz and live out his fantasy w some other beautiful girl#like bitch are you kidding me#just wow#is all i really have to say#i was so naïve for so long about him#but hes just like the other boys#for some reason i thought he was actually a good sweet person#he used to love me more than anything#ig that blinded me very badly#especially since i have been so deprived my whole life it was like trying heroin once#and ive just been chasing that high desperately ever since#if only i had a normal childhood#literally none of this would be happening#im so jealous of normal mentally stable people#like they just live and chill#absolutely no thoughts behind those eyes#god i wish that were me#once again i am asking for the downfall of those who have wronged me
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maries like the bug mijaal accidentally steps on that sparks a moment of self disgust and pity b4 she moves on with her day. and marys the same type of bug but mijaal spots him out on the sidewalk and moves him to the safe grass
#mijaal spent her childhood surrounded by old religious separationists (nacea followers) and still didnt get to form connections w anyone--#--after joining the haal cavalry bc fapreisaus interest isolated her from everyone else. she just doesnt understand how to interact with--#--ppl as equals its always a quiet power struggle. she finds mary frightening bc she just doesnt GET him she finds his drive commendable--#--and his ability to push through all the shit incredibly familiar but she doesnt want to put him down or take the reins from him. she--#--wants to see him capable and stable but she doesnt know how she can actually help with that#on the other hand. she hates marie SO goddamn much for so long just as an idea (the kepradite royal court fashion designer) and--#--when she starts recognizing marie as more than that she just hates her even more. how small how weak how PATHETIC a woman marie is#it would take years for mijaal to naturally arrive at a shred of the sympathy she holds for the blood-alcohol machine. but alas. they do--#--not have that time they have a shared goal and a shared hate that distracts them long enough from each other to try for some real change#think mmmmaybe there would be some camp scenes where mijaal physically lashes out at marie and if u talk to her afterwards--#--it is incredibly apparent she is rattled but it isnt because it was MARIE its bc it was VIOLENCE#WAH i left the blood-alcohol automaton out of the body of the post. its like the bee she fishes out of a pool and tries to feed sugar--#--water bc she doesnt know what else to do#bugworld
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Fuck you mom and your perfectionist elitist scholar education. You taught me to judge people that can't do "obvious" things, which are obvious too you because you abandoned the things you genuinely love for academical expectation. I know that you struggled and I wish you had the help and descontruction im trying to get. But goddam you're not making it easy
#gaaaaah#since im my mother's mirror (I DON'T WANNA I JUST SPENT MY CHILDHOOD MORE WITH HER)#i copied how she acts and talks#and now sometimes i'm being extra judgy to my poor gf and i hate myself for it even tho i say sorry and explain why i did that#I. HATE. BEING. NOT MENTALLY STABLE. AND LIKE MY MOTHER.#bitch ass i wanna be me#not this judgy puritan#vent#nano.txt#ouuuugh i have feelings while reading the autism tag
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source me should be allowed to fucking snap in episode 7 😊
#⚠️ z chatz#i watch md for fun at this point but source n is sooo much more mentally stable than me. do you know#how many ppl would have died if that happened to me (its a lot)#i kinda wanna see source n kill people again. as a treat#like man even in the context of the show ( exomems not included ) bro just lost his childhood best friend/crush#and was told he needs to kill his current best friend/crush to save people. like what the hell was that
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the story of us - chapter 2
pairings: Max Verstappen x Sister!Reader, Charles Leclerc x Single Mom!Verstappen!Reader, Platonic Kelly Piquet x Verstappen!Reader
summary: Charles and Verstappen!Reader meet for the first time as adults with a little plus one.
warnings: pregnancy, controlling behaviour from a partner, baby trapping
w/c: 3.4k words
a/n: thank you so much for all of the love on the first part of this series it really means a lot to me! As always, I'm always open to feedback and reblogs! Thank you all for the support again!
my masterlist // series masterlist
The air felt thick and suffocating around you, your shaking hands reaching out to take a hold of the small pink stick which sat on the bathroom counter. You swallowed the lump of fear in your throat, turning the plastic stick around, your breath caught in your throat.
The two pink lines stared back at you glaringly, unwavering and strong.
You were pregnant.
Tears sprung to your eyes, you didn't know whether to be excited or scared - Sure, you were going to have a baby and become a mom, but you were still young, you were only 22 and you knew that your relationship with Lukas was far from healthy and stable.
"What are you doing in there?" You heard him ask through the door, making you jump, yet holding on tightly to the proof of the little life growing inside of you. "Y/N." You pulled yourself together, hoping that he couldn't see the conflict within you.
"Lukas, I'm pregnant," You had gotten your bluntness from your brother, in one sense. You studied his face for any semblance of a reaction, one thing, you had claimed you gained from your abusive childhood, was your emotional intelligence. You watched as his face lit up, slowly racing to gently place his hand on the still flat surface of your stomach.
"Really? That's...that's great, love," He told you, a grin on his face.
He wasn't grinning about the prospect of becoming a father, he was grinning over the fact that he had you in the palm of his hand. He had been working you up to this, switching out your birth control pills for placebos, timing your cycle perfectly, making sure that he had you trapped. He knew that you had a traumatic childhood and that you would be eager to raise your own family completely differently from how you had been.
"Really? You don't think that it's too soon?" You looked up at him, tears in your eyes. He smiled down at you, swiping the tears away from your face as they slowly fell.
"Not at all, my love, you're ready for this, you're going to be such a good mum," He soothed you, pulling you in tight and holding you to his chest as he rubbed your back. "Our baby's going to be so lucky." You nodded, smiling up at him as you realised that maybe this was Lukas changing, maybe you having his baby was all that he needed to stop being so cruel to you.
Now, you just had to tell your brother. If Lukas let you.
"...Lukas?" You sat across from him on the couch, nervously trying to read his expression as he hummed in response. "Um...when can we tell Max I'm pregnant?" His eyes flicked up to yours, but softened as he saw you rubbing circles on your growing stomach.
"...Whenever you want, when is he back in Monaco, we could make a day of it," He suggested, giving you a soothing smile. He knew this would show your older brother that you were his now, bonded together by the life inside of you. You smiled, getting up from your spot on the sofa to curl up as best as you could beside Lukas, smiling as he placed his hand on your small bump. "She's kicking now?" You giggled as you nodded, feeling the baby, who you had recently had revealed to be a girl, kicked against her father's touch.
"Yeah, I think she knows our voices now," You smiled, placing your hands over his. "I can't believe she's this big already." Lukas smiled, knowing that now he had you exactly where he wanted you - He'd given you a baby, after this you'd have his last name and maybe another baby to keep you trapped.
"Well, she's gonna get bigger," He gently nudged you, making you giggle. "I'll call Max and arrange something, okay?" You nodded and smiled contentedly, Lukas knew that you wouldn't be questioning anything right now, your hormones and baby brain had made you almost dependent on him for everything.
Lukas had arranged to meet with Max at a little restaurant in Monte Carlo, he had taken you to it a couple times for a date, since it appeared that their pizza was the only one made with something that didn't make you throw up.
Max, couldn't wait to see you. It had been months, and he was certain that you were leaving Lukas, saying that you couldn't take how controlling he was anymore - So to hear Lukas calling him and saying that you wanted to see him, Max let his excitement blind him.
However
As he saw you walk into the restaurant, Lukas following behind you, he couldn't be blind to the small bump on your midsection. He froze, swallowing the lump in his throat while trying to act casual. So this was why you were still with him, he had gotten you pregnant.
"Hi Max," Your grin was wide as you saw your older brother stand on his feet, embracing you tightly, but not too tight as to hurt the baby. "So...surprise, you're gonna be an uncle!" You cheered excitedly, watching as Max grinned and kiss your cheek. You were too excited for him to tell you how he was really feeling about it, so he played along with you.
"That's great, kleine zusje, I'm so happy for you," Max said, giving Lukas a knowing look as he came up behind you, placing his hand on the small of your back. Lukas pulled a chair out for you to sit across from your brother, but beside him. You always had to be beside him. "So, do you know what you're having?" You smiled and nodded, protectively placing a hand on your stomach.
"A girl, we're gonna name her Romy."
Max made sure that Lukas would be home when he went to collect yours and Romy's belongings. He needed to make sure that he knew that neither you or your daughter needed anything from him anymore, that even if it meant that the two of you had to live with him until you got on your feet, then that would be it - You and Romy didn't need him anymore. Knocking on the door of your old apartment, Max stood, his jaw and fists clenched.
"What do you want?" Lukas answered the door, freezing upon seeing your older brother standing at the door. "Didn't Y/N tell you what I told her? I don't want her or the baby back, she can get her child payment but that's it. I'm done with her." He harshly told Max. Max scoffed ash he shook his head - The audacity of him to think that Max would ever let you go back to him.
"I know that, I just came to tell you that if I ever, ever see you around Y/N or Romy again, then I'll personally make sure that you never see again. You never deserved either of them." Max responded, fully meaning his threat - He wasn't known as Mad Max for nothing. Lukas just shook his head in response, laughing at Max.
"You can play the protective big brother role all you want, Max, but I know how dependent Y/N was on me for the past 3 years. I gave her everything she wanted, I gave her that stupid baby, and she threw it all back in my face." Max stormed in, grabbing Lukas by the collar and holding him up against the wall.
"You shut the fuck up. You trapped her because you knew that she was going to leave you, you needed her more than she needed you and you know that. How little of a man are you that you would call your daughter stupid? Like I said, you never deserved either of them." Max shoved him once more before leaving, ready to get all of yours and Romy's stuff and taking it back to his apartment. He meant what he said - And if it meant that if you and your daughter had to stay with him for a while as you got on your feet again, then that would be fine. Max loved Romy, and if it meant that he could spend time with her on the breaks and off season while you worked, then that would be fine.
Romy giggled as you groaned, kicking her feet up at you as you tried to place the pink socks over her little feet. You were already late to meet Max's friend, and your daughter's insistence on not putting her socks on was making you later.
"Romy, my love, if you don't let mama put your socks on then you have to wear your crocs," You spoke mainly to yourself, you didn't think your 7 month old baby would be able to comprehend such a sentence, but she heard the words socks and crocs and immediately felt excitement, already kicking her little legs at the prospect of her favourite shoes. "Oh, so you want to wear your crocs. I wish you could talk already, Romy bear, it would make mama's life so much easier," You spoke, digging around the small bag you had packed to look for her small crocs. Finally, you found them, quickly slipping them over her small feet, grabbing a diaper bag quickly to slip over your shoulder, and picking Romy up, holding her at your hip as you hurriedly left Max's apartment.
You quickly buckled her into her car seat, making sure she was secure before hurriedly making your way to the cafe where Max had told you to meet Charles. You weren't sure what your older brother was thinking about, was he setting you up with the Monegasque, or was he just trying to get you out to socialise? You weren't sure if you were ready to be in another relationship yet, 3 years with Lukas had taken their toll on you and now you just wanted to spend some time with your baby. The cafe was quiet, tucked away from the busyness of Monte Carlo as not to overwhelm you on what could have been your first time out being social with Romy. You pulled into a parking space, quickly jumping out of your car and lifting your daughter out of her car seat, holding her tight at your hip as you hurriedly made your way inside.
You spotted Charles quickly, smiling at him as he spotted you. He hadn't changed much from what you remembered, but then again, you had blocked out most of your childhood - Those weren't things that you wanted to remember. Then again, you had seen him only 8 months ago, just before you gave birth to Romy; However, it pained you when you realised that the first 6 months of your daughter's life had been a blur, you were simply focused on keeping the two of you alive and away from the harm that her father could cause to either of you.
"Hi," You greeted him, smiling as he stood up to gently embrace you, kissing both of your cheeks. "Sorry that I'm late, someone didn't want to wear socks so we had to go with crocs with her pretty pink dress." You smiled once more, tickling Romy's stomach. Charles smiled at her and then at you - From what he had heard from Max recently, he didn't understand how you could still smile, life had dealt you the cruelest of cards, yet here you were, smiling away with your baby in your arms.
"It's alright, I brought a high chair over for her," He gestured to the seat which sat at the side of the two for you and him, making you smile at his thoughtfulness. "I know it is probably a silly question, but how are you doing?" He asked, watching as you placed Romy in the high chair, strapping her in so she couldn't wiggle out and hurt herself.
"Um...I don't really know, I've just sort of been on autopilot for a bit, I'm just relieved to be gone from him, for both of us," You told him, feeling weight coming off of your shoulders - You had spent the past hours telling Max that you were fine, you didn't want to worry your older brother anymore than you already had for most of your life. "How are you after the breakup?" Charles shrugged but smiled sadly.
"Fine, it had to happen - We weren't good for each other anymore," Charles felt like he was almost rubbing salt in your wound, bragging about how easy it was for him to leave an unhealthy relationship while you were stuck in one for years. "But anyway, would you like a drink? Tea or coffee?" He offered you, standing to head to the counter.
"Just tea please," You smiled, watching as Charles made his way to the counter to order for you and himself. He came back soon enough, with two pastries on the side. "What's this?" You asked him, tilting your head as you poured the milk into your tea.
"Oh, Max told me that it was your favourite like...forever ago, I didn't know what else to get you, I thought that Romy might like it too," He smiled at you and the Romy, who grinned at Charles and reached for him. "What do you want little one? Tell Cha," He spoke to her so naturally, it made you smile.
"I think that she wants a cuddle, Charles," You smiled at him, watching as he blushed. "You've held a baby before, yes? But you don't have to if you don't want to, no pressure," You said, unstrapping Romy from the high chair and holding you in her arms. She continued to fuss and reach for the Monegasque, whimpering in your arms as she reached out for him. "Shhh, just calm down my little love." You soothed her, looking to Charles to silently ask him whether he wanted to hold your daughter or not.
"Yes, of course, I'll hold her," Charles reached out to hold her in his arms, and you watched in amazement as Romy immediately settled into Charles' arms - She had only ever settled for you, on occasion Max; not even for Lukas, not that he had ever taken anything to do with his daughter. "She's so cute, Y/N. Looks so much like her mama," He whispered the last part, thinking you hadn't heard - The blush on your cheeks proved otherwise.
"I'm just shocked that she settled down for you, she's a little bit fussy with who she likes to hold her," You smiled, Charles was a natural with Romy, holding her on his lap. He smiled back at you, gently bouncing her on his knee, the two of you laughing at she giggled. "She must really like you, Charles." You told him, seeing a gentle blush creep across his face.
"Well, I really like Romy too," He said, both to you and to the baby on his lap.
The two of you chatted together, recounting the more happier memories you had of him from your childhood, and how you had missed seeing him around the paddock but looked forward to seeing him more now you were living with Max.
He told you how he was looking forward to seeing you and Romy around the paddock. "I'd love to spend more time with the two of you" Charles told you, making you stutter over your words. "I'm sorry, that might have been a bit too upfront," He said, looking away from you as he rubbed small circles on Romy's back.
"No, no, it's not that, I um...I'd like to do this again, it's been really nice, Charles." You told him, a grateful smile on your face as you appreciated the company of the Monegasque. "I should probably get going, Max is going to wonder where we are." He nodded, frowning as Romy whimpered at the loss of his contact, but smiling as he saw her contentedly cuddle into you.
"Of course, mon cher. Please let me know when you get home," You nodded and smiled, the two of you leaving the small cafe. Charles came to your car with you, watching as you strapped Romy into her carseat.
"Of course, thank you so much for this Charles, I really enjoyed it," You quietly closed the rear door, hoping not to disturb your daughter.
"Me too, I hope to see the two of you again soon."
Carrying your sleeping daughter in your arms, you made your way into Max and Kelly's apartment, the two of them waiting on the couch to hear about how your day with Charles had gone.
"I'll tell you two how it went after I feed her, I promise, she screamed the entire way home," You told them hurriedly, carrying a sniffling Romy into the room which was slowly resembling something that could look like yours. Max and Kelly had spent the afternoon trying their best to make it as personal for you as possible as a way to try and make you feel like this was a safe place for you and Romy. You got comfy on the bed, taking your shirt off and slipping down your bra, sighing in relief as she latched onto you - You had bottle fed her while out with Charles, you had been too nervous to feed her out in public, especially with Charles there.
It was strange, it felt like a way to decompress - A way to focus on something else other than the thoughts of Charles running through your head. The thoughts of how naturally he held Romy and how he spoke to her, thoughts of how when you were buckling her into the car seat, his hand rested gently on the small of your back. Thoughts of how he looked at you so intently. You switched Romy around, letting her feed until she fell asleep, comfortable against your chest. Gently, you lifted her off of you, clasping your bra and putting your shirt back on, laying her down in her next to me bed. You sighed, running your fingers gently down her face and smiling, watching your daughter sleep peacefully.
You closed the door quietly as you made your way out to the living room, sitting yourself between Kelly and Max, the older woman putting her arm around you - You knew that Kelly had a soft spot for you, and especially for Romy; she was forever telling you how much of a great mother you were, especially now since you were on your own - she knew that feeling all too well.
"So, how did it go?" Max asked you, a grin on his face as he watched you lean against Kelly - He was glad that the two of you had gotten along. You smiled as you recounted your afternoon with Charles.
"It went really well, we just talked for a bit and he held Romy for a bit too because she was getting fussy - He's so good with her," You cited, a smile on your face. Kelly gave Max a knowing look, your experience sounded a lot like how she felt taking Penelope to meet Max for the first time. "I think we're gonna do it again." Max smiled, after everything you'd gone through, socialising would be good for you - Even if it was with known womaniser Charles Leclerc. But Max knew you'd been through worse than Charles, but Max also knew that Charles knew Max would kill him if he broke your heart.
"That's good, kleine zusje, it sounds like it went well for both of you." You nodded and yawned, it felt like you hadn't stopped since last night and it was all catching up with you now. Max pouted as you curled into Kelly, you'd come in with your baby and stolen his girlfriend! Kelly grinned at Max, gently running her fingers through your hair as you fell asleep.
Now, normally, Max would have told you to run as far from Charles Leclerc as possible - But following Charles' breakup with Alex, he was almost certain that Charles would benefit from a more social relationship rather than jumping from disaster relationship from disaster relationship. He knew that you, generally, just needed a social relationship - Outside of him, Kelly, and your sister Victoria, you didn't really have many friends; thanks to the social isolation put upon you by Lukas.
So maybe, just maybe, you and Charles could be good for each other.
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Saturn ✧ the challenges lead you to maturity?
Saturn in Natal Chart - In which areas do they face challenges that lead to maturity?
Where do they encounter obstacles and difficulties?
In what aspects of life are they likely to experience pressure and responsibility?
How do rules and regulations influence these areas?
What life dimensions must they confront under pressure, and what types of challenges do these dimensions present?
Saturn in the 1st House
often feel unattractive
tend to wear a mask of indifference, making it difficult for them to express their true selves
may experience a sense of lack during childhood, even if their family is not financially struggling
a strong sense of responsibility, making them reliable for important tasks
exhibit excessive defensiveness and materialism
might face issues related to their skin, bones, or chronic health conditions
Saturn in the 2nd House
have a deep fear of poverty
tightening their purse strings gives them a sense of security - leading to a stable financial foundation in their later years
can be seen as wealthy yet burdened
may come from a background of financial hardship / experience a sense of stinginess from their parents.
often find it challenging to earn money
sacrifice enjoyment in life in exchange for an irreplaceable sense of security
nothing is more important to them than feeling secure
Saturn in the 3rd House
may have experienced stuttering or speech difficulties in their early years
they might have been teased for their accents
remain silent unless absolutely necessary
do not have a speech impediment, when they choose to speak - their words carry significant weight
they are not inclined to engage in casual conversation
may be perceived as dull by adults or face criticism for their words - leading them to internalize their thoughts and feelings
may struggle to share their innermost thoughts with others
Saturn in the 4th House
have a strong sense of family identity - take on the responsibility of caring for their family from a young age
they may feel obligated to support their family or care for their father
may have had a strict or emotionally distant father during childhood - who was often absent or unapproachable, leading to feelings of fear or estrangement
find it difficult to share their emotions and may struggle to express care - but they are willing to shoulder family responsibilities, they may not engage in nurturing behaviors
often exhibit distrust towards emotional intimacy while yearning for security and permanence in their lives
Saturn in the 5th House
fewer romantic opportunities
often seen as the "unloved child" / either neglected - a loss of their own identity and significance
may find it difficult to connect with their children (challenging aspects)
tend to exhibit a noticeable shyness - waiting quietly on the sidelines
hoping to one day become the center of admiration and attention
Saturn in the 6th House
experience depression due to their intense focus on health issues - prompting them to engage in rigorous fitness / wellness routines
particularly concerned with their schedules - may experience anxiety in daily life, often resisting changes to their routines
they place immense pressure on themselves at work and continue to do so after hours - leading to more severe chronic fatigue
may encounter skeletal or joint issues - often linked to prolonged stress
feelings of pressure, pessimism, fear, distrust, or gloom
Saturn in the 7th House
may lead them to encounter serious partners who do not provide the intimacy they seek in marriage (challenging aspects)
making the institution feel burdensome
may find themselves in relationships with older partners / those who impose many restrictions
approach marriage with a serious and solemn attitude, placing great importance on marital contracts.
fear both marriage and the absence of it
experiencing loneliness, rejection, and disappointment in real -life marriages can prompt them to embark on an inward journey of self-exploration
Saturn in the 8th House
often struggle to confront the topic of death, exhibiting a greater fear of mortality than most - translates into a stronger will to survive
may face financial difficulties - lead to issues in their marriages / being taken advantage of financially by business partners
may encounter problems receiving inheritances / resources (challenging aspects)
have a deep interest in the subconscious - if they harness this interest wisely - become true masters of transformation
Saturn in the 9th House
possess strict moral values and a strong sense of conscience, making them hesitant to take risks and fearful of making mistakes
may engage in lifelong learning and continuously pursue certifications
often require written documentation or prior occurrences to believe in something - exhibiting a somewhat rigid mindset
resistance to traveling abroad (challenging aspects)
Saturn in the 10th House
appear remarkably youthful - growing younger in appearance as they age but their personality and style tend to be more seasoned and sophisticated
typically late bloomers - not the type to achieve success in their youth
eager to showcase their abilities - but once they do, they often find themselves burdened with greater responsibilities and pressures - lead to self-imposed stress
may struggle to express this pressure - making it essential for them to learn how to manage stress effectively
may also find themselves living out their unfulfilled inner needs through their partners - which can impact their intimate relationships
Saturn in the 11th House
withdraw from social interactions - feeling unable to fit into certain circles
tend to shy away from expanding their social networks
often showing little interest in socializing - prefer not to make friends casually and dislike superficial social interactions
or leaving little time for solitude - allows them to avoid confronting their inner selves
Saturn in the 12th House
often feel an overwhelming and be responsible for the suffering of others - accompanied by an inexplicable guilt
tend to care for those in need
may experience a state of self-isolation - avoiding external contact while grappling with a profound sense of loneliness and helplessness
a strong sense of duty within them - instinctive sacrifices - a feeling of being unable to cope with reality
need to learn to shed the heavy burdens they impose on themselves - avoid excessive responsibility and allowing themselves to move forward with greater ease
✧ >> Career ✧ What challenges will you encounter in your work? • Solar Returns >> Career • work a job or start a business? ✧ Natal Chart Observation >> Career • A Sudden Change - What Happens Next? ✧ Solar Return / Lunar Return >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 1) >> Career • Indicators for your potential and talents (Part 2)
>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content
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the feeling that i’m losing her, forever.
bakugou katsuki x childhood friend hcs! pt 2
- you’d both met in kindergarten when you had complimented his quirk which had just manifested, and in return, he asked to see yours.
- your quirk wasn’t anything too flashy, you could manipulate the terrain beneath you, or anything that was considered part of earth for that matter. (think of toph from atla).
- he straight up told you that your quirk sucked and so you hit him in the head with a rock. he got set to the infirmary and you had a lengthy chat with your principal about why you shouldn’t use quirks on other students.
- sought you out after that encounter because he liked that you weren’t scared or took what he said to heart because you knew you were good.
- even as a kid he was a cocky little shit so you consistently kept him in his place whenever he started his “forward march and here we go!” chant.
- over time, you two simply just stuck by each other because you were almost always in the same class, so you never really had any reason to ignore the boy, and he found himself not completely hating the feeling of having you right by his side.
- in middle school he found out that you put shiketsu instead of ua down as your top school and he threw a fit because he didn’t want to lose one of the things in his life that was consistent and stable, but got over it when you told him that you’d come visit.
- when he got into ua and you got into shiketsu, your parents joined together and had a celebratory dinner for you both, and he could swear he had never been happier than that moment.
- when your family had to move so you could go to shiketsu, the boy went over and pretended he wasn’t about to cry because truth be told, you were his best friend.
- at first, you’d both called each other almost every night to gain daily updates on how your new lives were treating you, and it was something bakugou had looked forward to after having to deal with those extras all day.
- the first time you guys didn’t check up on each other was the same night that the usj had been attacked by the league of villains, something that you had seen on the news as you immediately dialed up your friend, who texted you that he was just too tired to talk right now.
- the second time was after ua’s sports’ festival, when you called to congratulate him and he just completely ignored the call, no explanation as to why, just instantly getting sent to voicemail.
- you pretended like you didn’t care, obviously you knew he was busy and that he probably just didn’t have the time in between classes and trainings, but then again, you were doing the same things and making time for him, why couldn’t he do the same for you.
one time he accidentally butt dialed you before class had started and when you picked up you could hear the bustling nature and conversations going on in his classroom, the sound of the boy pulling out his seat and sitting down was heard.
“hello? katsuki?” no response.
you recognized izuku’s voice coming into earshot.
“kacchan, i’ve been meaning to ask. how’s y/n doing?” the boys positive attitude even conveyed itself through the phone as you waited to hear how bakugou would respond, because truth be told, you had a major crush on your best friend.
“i dunno.” and you could hear him taking a bite of something, like an apple or something crunchy.
“y/n?! if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you had a girlfriend bakugou!” an unrecognizable voice boomed through your headphones.
“s’not the case. she’s just a friend. i don’t like her like that. always callin’ me and shit, gets annoyin’ y’know?” he grunted as the sound of your bell ringing had filled your ears, you quickly hung up and turned off your phone. pretending that what just happened didn’t sting a bit.
- from there you stopped calling him so much, figuring that if he wanted to talk, he’d call you up first.
- eventually you stopped talking altogether because you stopped starting the conversations, refusing to make him feel as if he had to talk to you.
- bakugou of course was unfortunately a firm believer of “the phone works both ways,” so he never decided to start a conversation up either. matter of fact he refused to ever think of hovering his finger over your contact, instead opting to just tell kirishima about his thoughts.
- when ua moved into the dorms, bakugou had a bulletin board filled up with a variety of different things that seemed so out of character for him, like pictures of him as a kid, pictures of his family, newspaper clippings from the sports’ festival, and a few select pictures of you both through the years.
- the first time kirishima was let into the blonde boy’s room, it was like the first thing his eyes locked onto as he sat down at bakugou’s desk, seeing a genuine smile on his friends face.
“who’s that?” his voiced laced with curiosity as he unpinned the picture, taking it down to show his friend.
“eh? friend of mine.” his reply was short and concise, as if he didn’t want to talk about it. so kirishima just pinned the photo back up, and looked at the rest that littered his wall.
a picture of you both at your kindergarten graduation, a few candid pictures from grade school, and a picture of just you from middle school graduation, but you can tell bakugou took it because a tuft of the spiky blonde hair hung in front of the camera lens and left only half your face visible.
kirishima had to stifle his laugh when he saw a childhood picture of you and bakugou playing in a sandbox, the boy getting sand thrown into his face, and on the back of the photo read “katsuki’s first friend!” clearly something mitsuki had done for him.
- he felt his breath getting separated from his body when he saw you stepping off the bus at the provisional licensing exam, your shiketsu cap taunting him, teasing what could’ve been.
- of course he didn’t miss how your second year classmates all walked with you huddled between them, they’d known of your foul relationship with someone from ua, and as the one of the only first years that were attending the exam from shiketsu, they felt as if they had to protect you.
“oh, look kacchan! she’s here.” midoriya was excited, because after all, you were his friend as much as you were bakugou’s.
“i know.” and that was all he said before angrily walking off, he saw your phone in your hand, he knew it still worked.
he was acting as if he didn’t miss you. and even if his eyes lit up as you essentially dominated the piece of earth terrain, he’d never admit that he wanted his best friend back by his side.
“seiji was eliminated? no way!” you spoke to inasa after the first part of the exam, true disappointment in your voice as you found out bakugou had eliminated your classmate.
“he likes you, y’know.” inasa’s voice was naturally loud, so you weren’t shocked when people’s heads begun to turn at the sound of romance in the air.
“who?”
“shishikura.” all inasa wanted was for his friend to gain the girl he’d been pining for since the first day of school, even if his friend was a certified dick to some people.
katsuki hadn’t once bothered to look your way since you’d gotten to the exam site, but his knuckles were turning white as they gripped the table in front of him.
he didn’t realize it, but he had lost you a long time ago back when he had called you annoying.
#mha#myheroacademia#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo angst#bakugou angst
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