#i met my best friend in middle school and we always ended up sitting next to the trash cans so that became and inside joke

[crvstybowlofcereal]

Tell me about your tattoos if you have them and or what tattoos you want

i have two tattoos, and i plan to get more!

i got the first one two days after my 18th birthday, i had been planning it forever. it's a memorial piece for my first dog Rocky. I got it on the outside of my thigh, very high up so most of it is covered when i wear shorts.

i covered up the bit with his face because i dont like to share it very much, im terrified of the idea of someone finding a picture of it and getting the exact same tattoo because that's my dog and he meant the world to me. i know its a bit of an irrational fear, and i dont worry about it with my other designs, but i try not to share it online fully, but heres a different picture of him!

the flowers underneath are red roses, lilies, and forget me nots, for their specific meanings

the next tattoo i got just a couple months ago for a 7 year friend-iversary

its based on several layers of inside jokes

my long-term tattoo goal is to fill out my leg like a sleeve made of individual tattoos. i also intend to design all of my own tattoos.

some other ones i have in mind for my next ones are - a ghost (i always draw sheet ghosts the same way) - the mystery machine from scooby doo - the irken invader symbol from invader zim - a swarm of bats (probably on my inner thigh) - moon phases - lavender (and amethyst?)

more context for things in the tags

[niningtori]

make you cry | part one

part two: beomgyu's ending | part three: hyuka's ending

pairing: beomgyu x you, huening kai x you in alternate ending

summary: beomgyu is your manwhore best friend who you've been secretly in love with for years. one night, he asks you to blur the lines between friendship and physical intimacy for his own convenience.

genre: ANGST, romance, smut (mdni), fwb

warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, creampie, dom!gyu, eventual sub!gyu, fingering (vaginal), dacryphilia, dirty talk, praise, if i missed anything lmk!

word count: 4.2k

notes: hi friends! i'm not completely satisfied with this, but i'd rather it be done than sitting in my drafts. pls don't be mean ;_;

being in love with your best friend is not for the faint of heart, you think. in some cases, it’s the easiest thing in the world, but beomgyu makes it difficult. he’s not a bad guy, at least not deep down, but as you watch him break the heart of another notch in his belt, you can’t help but shiver at the fact that he’d very easily do the same to you if you gave him that chance. not that you ever will, that is, but the thought still remains.

you met in grade school. for you, it was a classic case of love at first sight. you had just fallen off the swingset and the teacher had yet to notice you, so you were crying alone when he came up to you with a dinosaur bandaid in tow. he looked like an angel with the sun encircling him, and even as a child, you thought he was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen as he held his little hand out for you to grasp. you had no chance to steel your heart when he asked you if you wanted to be friends, and after that, the rest is history. 

that was years ago, but the image of him holding out his hand is engraved in your bones. you think about it even now as you watch him make the poor, unfortunate girl in front of you bawl like a baby. she asks him why he's doing this, what she did wrong, how she can fix it to make him stay. but he's dead set on breaking her heart tonight. and you'll be the one who takes his tipsy ass home after he's done ruining this girl’s perception of love. you’re nothing more than a glorified lackey and enabler, but that's just how it is.

“god, i don’t know why they can never just let go. they always have to make it so hard,” he grumbles in the passenger’s seat of your car. he seems more annoyed than genuinely upset and you can’t help but to feel for the girl who he just unceremoniously dumped in the middle of a house party, so you speak up for once.

“it’s not her fault, beoms. she just really likes you,” you reason. not that it matters, anyway, but you feel better after speaking your mind.

“so it’s my fault? i just don’t get it. i told her no strings attached from the beginning. the fact that she took it seriously is her own problem.” well, nevermind about feeling better. you feel even worse for her now.

“it’s hard not to get attached to you,” you mumble.

“what?” he asks, not even really paying attention to what you’re saying, but still asking for the sake of being (what he thinks is) polite.

“no, it’s nothing,” you reply quickly.

“mmm,” he nods, completely preoccupied with his own issues to really give a fuck about what you have to say. then, as if by a stroke of genius, he says his next words without much thought.

“i just thought of something! you would never act like that with me, would you?” you can’t help but scowl. of course you’d act like that. you’re a normal human being with normal feelings. you’ve already fallen for beomgyu without the physical intimacy, so you can’t imagine how you’d act if you actually had sex with him. but you can’t tell him that, or else he’d start suspecting something.

“i guess not,” you sigh. 

“then why don’t we hook up instead?” he asks, genuinely earnest. 

“no,” you say simply.

“why not?” he frowns, somewhat offended.

“i’m not interested,” you shrug. you don’t realize that your indifference has the opposite effect on beomgyu. what he perceives as your disgust only interests him more.

“c’mon, i’d definitely show you a good time,” he argues.

“i’m fine, thanks.” 

“no, you’re not fine. you haven’t slept with anybody in months. not since what’s-his-name, right? it’s the perfect deal. i’ll give you the time of your life and i’ll get to fuck without any feelings involved.” you try your hardest not to say it’s too late for that. those words will never leave your mouth, though. or else he’d drop you like a hot potato.

“i said no and i mean no. besides, i kind of like somebody right now.” you’re not lying, really. you truly do like, even love, somebody right now, and he’s sitting right next to you.

“who is he?” he asks. “actually, your taste in men is so shit, i don't even wanna know.” usually, that would hurt your feelings, but this whole situation is so fucked up you can’t even find it in you to stifle your laugh. 

“true.” he cocks an eyebrow at your answer. you should, in theory, vehemently deny this. just how shitty is this guy for you to not even put up a fight? 

“okay, i lied. now i really wanna know. who is he? yeonjun?” he asks. you giggle even more.

“no. yeonjun is sweet, but no. and i’m not telling you, so you should give up.” 

“you think yeonjun is sweet in comparison? damn, this guy must be fucking scum,” he laughs. you can’t help but shake your head with an airy laugh of your own. yeah, he’s so awful he even makes yeonjun look sweet. at least it seems like yeonjun has a conscience when he fucks somebody over. beomgyu, for the most part, has none.

“he’s not all bad,” you say softly, still smiling and resting your head on the headrest of your car. 

“but still bad,” he argues. 

“mhmm,” you hum. “still bad.”

-

beomgyu doesn’t mention hooking up again after that, and for that you are thankful, you think. is there a part of you that regrets not saying yes? in a way, you do. who wouldn’t want to be even closer to the one they love? but you know the closeness would be a lie. even if you were in closer proximity physically, he’d still be far away emotionally. too far to ever catch him. and so you sit at the counter of this shitty bar and watch him try to woo one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen, and by the looks of it, it’s working. you smile bitterly and down another shot, making your stomach feel hotter and hotter. you know that by the end of the night, you’ll feel sick, but you’d rather be physically sick and drunk rather than emotionally sick and sober. 

“you okay?” kai asks, sliding into the seat next to yours and cutting into your daze with ease. 

“aren’t i always?” you answer with a wry smile.

“it’s that bad, huh?” he asks. beomgyu is your best friend, sure, but kai is the only person in the world who knows about your feelings for him. he also feels like the only person in the world who would understand them. 

“yeah, it is,” you mumble, downing yet another drink as you watch beomgyu grinding on the girl salaciously. 

“wanna get out of here?” he asks sympathetically. you should say no. beomgyu will be angry that you left  him, even if he’d ditch you in a heartbeat to get laid. but now, as you watch him shoving his tongue in the red-lipped mouth of the girl who will now be the impossible standard you’ll hold yourself to from hereon out, you can’t bring yourself to care.

“i do,” you smile, for real this time, and his grin matches yours.

you’re so drunk, you barely remember how you got home, but you’re here and so is hyuka. you don’t cry, even if he kind of wishes you would just so you could let it all out. you laugh, even, as he tells his dorky jokes and beats your ass in mario kart. things are going so well, you don’t even hear the pounding on your door until kai says something about it.

“i’ll get it,” he says soothingly when you unsteadily try to stand up.

“thanks, hyuka,” you smile. and that smile stays planted on your face until you see who’s at the door. beomgyu. and by the looks of it, he’s pissed.

“what the fuck is your problem?! how could you just leave me there alone?” he asks as soon as he’s let in. your face sinks and all prior happiness is washed away in an instant.

“you weren’t alone,” kai cuts in defensively. “she was alone until i came and got her.” beomgyu is actually a little embarrassed by this blatant callout, but he’d sooner die than admit it.

“well, she should’ve said something, at least,” he counters, face still hot and voice still as loud as ever.

“i thought you were going home with that girl,” you reply meekly. 

“and you couldn’t just ask?!” he snaps. 

“you’re being an asshole,” kai argues. “nobody wants to watch you tonguing down some random girl, and she’s not your babysitter.” the room is deathly quiet after this. beomgyu is fishing for words, but he’s too drunk to quite think of any at the moment. he wishes he were sober so he could put kai in his place, but the words never come. all he knows is he’s pissed beyond anything he can properly articulate and it’s driving him crazy. 

“you’re drunk,” kai adds sternly. “go home.” 

“hyuka, it's okay,” you say gently. “he's too drunk for that. he can crash on the couch.” beomgyu doesn't know why, but he scowls at the nickname.

“but —”

“it's okay,” you repeat. kai’s face looks torn. 

“alright, then i'll head out,” he relents after a few seconds. “the both of you just need some sleep,” he says with a sharp glance towards beomgyu, who is still fuming, by the way.

“thank you,” you say with a terse smile. he returns it with a smile of his own and shuts the door behind him. beomgyu watches the entire interaction and somehow feels even worse.

“what the fuck was that? is he the guy you’re hung up on or something?” 

“no!” you exclaim incredulously. “hyuka is a nice guy, and he’s just… helping me with some things right now.” you’re not the most eloquent person on a good day, much less while drunk, so that’s all you can really say at the moment.

“what ‘things’ could he possibly be helping you with?” he snaps before realization dawns on him. “you told him about that guy, didn’t you?! you can tell him but you can’t tell me?” 

“he… he just understands,” you say. you knew beomgyu wouldn’t just let this shit go and be done with it. he’s like a child finding out his dog likes somebody better than he likes him, and it’s exhausting.

“are you sleeping with him?” 

“what, no!”  you say firmly. 

“you are, aren’t you?” he sneers. “you won’t let me touch you, but you’re letting him?” 

“is it so hard to believe that a man just wants to be my friend without wanting to fuck me?” truthfully, yes. you’re good looking and his experience tells him that men always harbor those intentions. well, he does, at least. and for some reason, as he looks at you in your big t-shirt and sweatpants, those intentions are brewing even more. 

“beomgyu?” you ask tentatively. his eyes are so intense it seems like he’s even more pissed off,  somehow. your innocent look stokes the flames of what’s already been burning for you.

as if he’s possessed, he stalks his way over to you, grabs your face before you can even react, and plants a bruising kiss on your soft lips. you gasp when he meanly takes your bottom lip between his teeth and he can’t help but chuckle. the kiss is cruel for so many reasons, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t knock you off of your feet. you’re usually so restrained around him for reasons only you and kai know, but you feel your inhibitions melt as his tongue enters your mouth. he tastes like alcohol, but then, so do you, and he doesn’t seem to mind. in fact, if his hungry kiss in any indication, he seems to love it. 

one of his hands travel under your big hoodie and he tweaks your already hardened nipple between his fingers. 

“does that feel good, baby?” he asks lowly, and you feel yourself becoming even more wet. you're too embarrassed to respond, but judging from his tone, he already knows your answer. 

his kisses are unrelenting and fierce, no gentleness or care to be seen, but you’re so sweet he can’t control himself. he’s been wanting to do this ever since he hit puberty, but you’ve never seemed interested in him for reasons he can’t understand. but now, you seem more than interested as you let him lead you to your bedroom. he lays you down on your bed and takes off your sweatpants. when he sees you, naked and glistening just from a few touches, he licks his lips in anticipation.

“all this from a few kisses?” he teases, rubbing his fingers up and down your slit. you can do nothing but gasp in response as he pushes one of his long, calloused fingers into your heat.

“s-so tight, it’s sucking me in,” he moans. “i can’t wait to see how you feel around my cock.” he adds a second finger and curls, hitting your sweet spot. all you can do is moan as he takes his thumb and rolls your clit. he watches your body rise and fall with the pleasure and it fascinates him like nothing he’s ever seen. your eyes are screwed shut, but he can’t help but prod and tease to see the different facial expressions you show him. before long, he’s pounding into you. the sound of squelches mixed with your moans only goads him further and further until you’re clenching down mercilessly on his fingers.

“aww, does that feel good, baby?” he coos. “wanna feel even better?” post-release clarity should hit you right about now, but you’re only more eager when he removes his clothes. his lengthy cock, angry and reddened, springs up and slaps his stomach. you whimper at the sight and he smirks at how needy you are.

he hovers over you and slowly, agonizingly slowly, he begins to rub his stiffened length up and down your slit. 

“gyu, you need a condom —” you begin to protest.

“why? i’m clean. and i don’t fuck just anyone raw,” he argues as the head of his cock comes dangerously close to hooking on your entrance. you’ve never been able to say no to him for any meaningful amount of time, so relenting isn’t out of the ordinary for you. but more than that, his words, though unromantic, spark a bit of hope in your heart. you’re special, you think. 

“do you trust me?” he asks. 

no. not at all.

“of course.” and he pushes in. his arrogance falters as you take him in, inch by throbbing inch. it’s a tight fit, and the way you clench around the tip of his cock only drives him further and further into madness. how can you feel so good? how can this feel so perfect? 

your poor pussy is equal parts trying to suck him in and trying to resist so the intrusion is forced out. to him, it feels like heaven. 

“t-tight!” he hisses. “relax, baby, or you’re gonna break me.” for some reason, his words comfort you, allowing him smooth entry until he’s completely sheathed in you. you both moan when he completely bottoms out, balls hitting your ass in the most lewd way. his precum mixed with the result of your release seep into the bedsheets. he stays there for just a moment, pushing your hair out of your face, and his next words are uncommonly tender.

“you look so pretty like this,” he muses, and you don’t even have time to blush before he’s unsteadily pulling out, pussy pulling him back in like it never wants him to leave, then thrusting back in again. 

“oh m-my god,” he says as he begins to ram into you. “so good, baby. you’re taking me so well.” 

“b-big!” is all you can manage to say as he continues to fuck you open.

“oh baby, are you going dumb on my cock? can’t even manage to get the words out, can you? it’s okay, don’t think. i’ll take care. of. you,” he says, punctuating each word with his mean thrusts. 

you’re crying now, the pleasure too great to stifle your tears. beomgyu thinks you look absolutely lovely like this, lovelier than anyone he’s ever seen, especially when he looks at where you two are joined and watches himself enter and exit your puffy pussy. each gasp, each breathy whine you emit makes him feel crazier and crazier. he aches so much, he has no choice but to continue pounding into you until he's relieved. so he does. he’s gripping the plush of your thighs like he might die if he doesn’t have something to hold onto. 

he leans over to give you a nasty kiss, all tongue and teeth. when he parts from you, a lewd string of saliva falls from your mouths and he can’t control the chuckle that escapes him when he sees your pupils are blown out as you flounder for his lips again. 

“look, baby. look at how good i’m fucking you.” you look down and see how his cock protrudes from your tummy as he rams in and out of you. “nobody else has fucked you right, but don’t worry, i’ll make sure to fix that.” your pussy involuntarily clenches at his filthy words and it’s enough to make you come.

“c-coming!” you manage to choke out as you spasm around him, back arching deliciously. he follows soon after, thrusts becoming uneven before you feel his cum shooting inside of you.

-

fucking beomgyu comes naturally, and often. he can’t seem to keep his hands off of you. hooking up becomes almost a daily affair, but you’re so hungry for him you can’t bring yourself to protest. you fuck in his car, on his couch, over the fucking kitchen counter, even. all plans to go out with anyone else are immediately dashed in favor of being with him, instead. you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him, and even if you know, know, know it’s fruitless, you can’t help but relent when he looks at you like a man starved. 

“this can’t be good for you,” kai tells you one evening in the comfort of your apartment. it’s a rare occurrence to have a free night from beomgyu’s clutches. kai hasn’t seen you in weeks because you’ve been too “busy” with beomgyu. 

“well, i know,” you sigh, too tired to argue with him. 

“if you know, then why do you do it?” he asks tentatively. you can’t help but give him a look. 

“you know why,” you say. 

“he's just messing with your head. you know this can't end well.” you flinch at the word “end”. you know it, he knows it, beomgyu surely fucking knows it, but you can’t help but give in every time. “what are you gonna do when he inevitably fucks you over? and he will, just like always.”

“i… i’ll deal with it when the time comes,” you protest. he sees your defeated expression and lightly tilts your head so it’s resting on his shoulder. your retribution for your actions was always well on its way, but you didn’t know it would come so soon. 

you hear a key turning in the door. there’s only one person in the world you’ve given a spare to, so you aren’t surprised in the slightest when beomgyu walks in with that signature smirk on his face. he scowls a bit when he’s greeted with the scene of you and kai sitting so intimately.

“am i interrupting something?” he scoffs as you raise your head from kai’s shoulder.

“no,” kai replies before you can even fix your lips to respond. to your mild surprise, he doesn't push any further.

“whatever,” he shrugs, plopping down next to the two of you and pulling out his phone.

“wanna see this girl whose number i got today?” he asks casually, swiping through his phone eagerly. so that's why he didn't wanna meet up. your heart feels like a hole’s been blown straight through it. you and kai share a deep look, which beomgyu completely misses as he pulls up a picture of a beautiful looking girl. 

“this is her,” he says with a triumphant smirk. you don’t — can’t — respond. you just have a blank look on your face.

“what?” he asks petulantly. “she’s really pretty, look!” he insists, pulling up another picture. “she’s one of the hottest girls i’ve seen in a minute.”

any last shred of hope or dignity you have is strangled in its crib at his careless words. your eyes are hot and your stomach hurts so much you feel like you’re going to vomit. kai notices your discomfort and decides to put a stop to this once and for all.

“alright, that’s enough,” kai snaps. “nobody wants to see that shit.”

“what’s your fucking problem?” beomgyu retorts.

“my problem is that you’re a fucking moron. grow up.” beomgyu’s not one to get physical, at least not in a violent sense, but he’s on the precipice of breaking that streak at kai’s harsh words.

“stop, hyuka. it’s okay,” you say softly. beomgyu is so furious, he almost forgot you’re here, but he's genuinely confused by kai’s words.

“what's okay? what is it that you're not telling me?” beomgyu asks. 

“it's not okay, actually. he’s fucking you but he comes around and pulls this shit right in front of you?! she won’t say it, but i will.” 

“kai, don’t —” 

“she doesn’t care! no strings attached, that’s always been the deal.”

“you may be stupid as fuck, but surely you’re not that stupid,” kai sneers. “so if you say you don’t already know, you’re just a fucking liar.” beomgyu pauses at this. is he saying what he thinks he’s saying? surely you didn’t catch feelings, right? but one look at your face, and he knows kai is telling the truth. 

but why? and when?

“since when did you…”

“since always,” you say quietly. 

“oh, fuck. look, i —”

“it’s okay. i already know,” you cut in. and you do already know, but you can’t bear to hear him say it. beomgyu, in all his glory, processes this and instead of regret, all he feels is anger.

“i’m the piece of shit guy you can’t get over? are you fucking serious?”

“hyuka, you should go,” you say instead of letting him watch the melodrama unfolding before him. kai looks uncertainly between the both of you before relenting. 

“call me later, okay?” he says, wiping tears from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.

“okay,” you reply with a sad smile. he sends beomgyu one last scathing look before gathering his shit and slamming the door behind him. 

“you tricked me!” beomgyu exclaims as soon as the door shuts. “i would’ve never fucked you if i knew you’d be like this.” just like everyone else. he doesn’t need to voice the last part, but you already know he wants to say it, which just hurts you even more.

“did you really not know, or were you just pretending not to know ‘cause it’d be inconvenient for you?” that shuts him up. kai was right, he’d be stupid not to know. maybe not at first, but surely along the way. surely when you’d look at him so longingly after sleeping with him, or the way you’d look so sad when he didn't stay after sex.

“listen, i’m so sorry that you’re scared, or angry, or whatever it is you’re feeling. i really am. but are you so selfish that you really think nobody else is afraid to have their heart broken? and do you think that means you’re allowed to hurt everyone else instead?” you ask quietly. every new word pierces his heart like nothing he's ever felt before. he wants to say something, but for the life of him, he can’t think of anything quite fitting. 

“i think you should leave,” you say after what feels like an eternity of silence. he looks at you with watery eyes and you almost feel guilty, but you’re through with feeling things for him that he’d never have the courtesy to feel for you. “go,” you repeat defeatedly, striding to the door and holding it open for him and he feels more and more like a rat you want to chase out of your home.

he looks like he wants to say something, but one look at you tells him you’re done listening. with heavy feet and an even heavier heart, he heads through the doorway, pausing only before he’s about to cross the threshold. he has a sinking feeling in his gut that tells him this is probably the last time he’ll be here. 

“are we still friends after this?” he asks lowly, eyes wide and more desperate than you’ve ever seen them. 

“no,” you say simply, and shut the door.

notes: not a ton of smut in this part, but i think the next part will have more i fear.

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @beomnoullitheorem @sunny4cast

[cherrybr4t]

hoshi as your boyfriend (+18)

(sfw + nsfw)

warnings: first half is all FLUFF <3 nsfw part included too! dancer!hoshi, dancer!reader, fem reader, unprotected sex 😔, public sex, creampie, mirror sex, orgasm denial + edging, they r in luv! <3

boyfriend!soonyoung who’s the school’s infamous dance captain, while you’re a member of the dance club. that’s how the both of you met.

boyfriend!soonyoung who was known to be a dynamic ball of energy, but with you — he was so shy initially. thought you were too pretty to approach, thought you looked out of reach. took him a while to be able to be friends with you.

boyfriend!soonyoung finally had the balls to confess to you after working on a dance project with you for 2 months. impulsive 2am thoughts and a slip of the tongue while the both of you were slurping down cup noodles after practice.

“—so yeah jihoon wouldn’t stop making fun of me, especially about my crush on you and—”

“what?”

“…what did i say?”

boyfriend!soonyoung who’s superrr clingy. even if it’s a separate practice session for team projects within the dance club, he’s gonna be at yours. sitting at the back, the front, beside the mirrors — wherever. (and it makes the juniors/other members nervous as HELL)

boyfriend!soonyoung who gets pouty when you tell him not to show up all the time — “it intimidates the rest!” but he promises to not be noticed the next time; cue him going to your next practice in a ball cap and mask, sitting at the back corner.

boyfriend!soonyoung who is always willing to help and guide you patiently. (though he is always impatient and scary with the other team members) with you though — he can never lose his temper at you. every mistake you make causes him to giggle like you’re the cutest thing ever.

“you’re so cute baby,”

you pout “i’m sorry baby… i can’t seem to get this even though i’ve done it like - 20 times.”

“it’s okay baby, you’re doing so well. doing better than dino even.”

you tilt your head…”that’s impossible”

“i’ll happily watch you practice it a 100 times angel,”

boyfriend!soonyoung who’s your biggest supporter. he’s your biggest fan. after every performance, he never fails to gift you the biggest & most dramatic bouquet of flowers with a little tiger plushie in the middle. with the longest heartfelt letter sealed in a tiger print envelope.

boyfriend!soonyoung who feels so lucky to have you. because if you think he’s dramatic? you’re even MORE dramatic. customised tiger gifts for him, an even bigger bouquet of flowers for him, and the cutest love letter he has pinned on his board at home.

boyfriend!soonyoung who is always your biggest defender. anytime he hears people talking shit about you — he’s immediate to thrash things out with them. always reminds people how hardworking you are, and loves to talk about you to everyone he knows.

“she’s the prettiest, kindest, purest soul i’ve ever met. and have you seen her dance? swear she’s better than me.”

“she’s the best. i don’t know how i got so lucky to love someone like her.”

boyfriend!soonyoung who loves using not only words of affirmation, he loves his quality time with you, he loves feeling your touch all the time, and he’s the best at acts of service.

“i love you baby. i’ll never get tired of telling you how amazing you are. i’m so happy we got to exist in the same universe timeline, like—” *him rambling and getting distracted by the theories about different universe timelines*

*him always planning the most thought out dates �� full day itinerary; at the zoo, pottery dates, etc. but he loves spending his down time with you too — sitting at home, putting on animal print face masks together, doing feet baths together.*

he always needs to hold your hand — doesn’t want to lose you in the crowd (though the crowd on tuesdays at the mall seems to be…bleak). hugs with him lasts at least 10 minutes at a time, and naps with him end up with him hugging you like a koala bear on a tree.

hungry at 2am? he’s at your door within 15 with your favourite late night snack. on your period? he’s got a full care pack covered. late for class? he’s already sitting in your lecture hall; attendance marked for you, taking down notes for you.

nsfw version here!

boyfriend!soonyoung who found out he had a thing for exhibitionism one night while the both of you were practicing late in the dance studio.

you were practicing your moves, concentration at a 100% while looking at yourself in the mirror. and he couldn’t help but feel a little turned out by how hard you were dancing. sweaty, flushed and so so pretty.

the song switches — and you snap your head towards soonyoung. he walks towards you in beat with the sensual song, before wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“follow my guide baby,” he sways, holding onto you so tight. he traces your arms, interlocking both hands with you — flowing with the music while his eyes never left yours in the mirror.

“you’re so sexy baby. love the way you move,” he breathes down your neck, eyes shutting for less than a second before he focuses on you again.

you hum, hips moving against his crotch as you feel yourself get heated up as the song progresses. “learned it all from you baby,” your giggle snaps him out of his deep reverie.

“getting bold now are we?”

boyfriend!soonyoung loves how you’re always down to explore new boundaries with him. he knows the deep trust goes both ways, and he’s grateful.

boyfriend!soonyoung loves when you get all needy for him. it’s usually him being all clingy and like a baby when it comes to you. you’re his safe space. so when he sees you being all wide eyed and desperate for him — it turns him on to no end.

he’s a menace. when it comes to fucking you, he’s double the menace. gets off on you being his needy little angel. no one would ever guess what goes on behind closed doors when it comes to him.

he’s edged you for the past 30 minutes, your juices tainting the dance floor that’s only seen blood sweat and tears of the dancers. his smile is sinister, is relishing in the fact that he’s holding the key to your heaven gates at the moment.

loves to have you in front of him sitting right in front of the mirror. the big and wide mirror capturing the indecent act. your legs wide open for him as his fingers alternate between rubbing messily and harshly on your clit, and plunging deep into your his cunt.

wants you to come undone on his fingers and torture alone.

but he’s selfish, only wants to achieve what he’d set to do so earlier. and it’s for you to cum on his cock. he sits on the floor with his pretty cock out in the open, and has you in the same position, except now you’re sitting on his cock — deep inside you. all still facing the mirror where his gaze is locked on every move you make.

“that’s it baby, ride my cock like you fucking mean it yeah?”

“training you to have strong legs baby, you need them to continue to dance amazingly right?”

you cry out at the overstimulation, you want nothing but to cum. every hit his cock makes chokes you and you don’t recognise the girl in the mirror anymore — so wrecked on your boyfriend’s cock.

“tell me what you need pretty girl,” soonyoung teases as he leans back on his hands, enjoying the view in the mirror, hiding how fucked out he feels. how he is so close to cumming right inside of you this very moment. but he’s holding back. he’s got better control than that anyways.

“need to—need to cum nowww soonie, please baby,” tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you continue to ride him, pace faltering as you feel your legs getting tired.

“if you can cum like that, be my guest baby. cum.” he shrugs, and you notice the glint in his devilish gaze through the mirror. you groan, legs giving out on you and you resort to grinding slowly.

“need you to—need you to help me,” you pout, if acting cute won’t get you what you want, you don’t know what else to try.

“baby needs my help? can’t cum on her own? aw baby.” he pouts back at you, and you want so badly to snap at him at his tone but you know better than to do so.

“on your knees, face the mirror. won’t tell you twice.” and all energy resurfaces as you scurry to go on all fours, looking at how desperate you appear through the mirror — your reflection mocking you.

soonyoung grunts in approval. slides his cock right back into you, and thanks the heavens for you. for being able to take you like this. swears you look like an angel even being so fucked out on the dance floor, back being blown out.

“so fucking pretty like this baby, how do you always look so fucking beautiful,” he snaps his hips so deep into you with a certain tempo, and you feel like you’re ascending to heaven each time he fucks his cock into you.

his fingers reach forward to smack your puffy clit, using the tip of his fingers to rub messily, finally deciding to let his angel cum.

“c-can’t—gonna cum—i’m gonna cum gonna cum” you cry out with a hoarse throat with actual tears running down your flushed cheeks this time. your hands reach back to grab onto his biceps, nails plunging in, and it drives him crazy.

“you can cum baby, cum on your fucking cock—cream it baby let me feel you—” you clench around him so tight he lets out a string of ‘fucks’. you fall forward, face flat — cheeks pressed on the dance floor, letting your body do the job of releasing the past hour of edging. all tension let loose, you moan out his name so beautifully as you cream and choke his cock with your cunt.

“fuck fuck fuck baby, gonna cum too. gonna cum inside you pretty, fuuuuuck—” his grip on your hips tighten as he releases his creamy load inside of you. airy moans leaving his chest as he lets his cock paint your cunt as his.

he slows down his thrusts, letting the mixture of your releases mix together slowly. you both slowly relish in the moment of your bodies connecting, feeling nothing but love left.

boyfriend!soonyoung who’s always taking care of you — including after care! loves praising you non stop, leaving trails of kisses everywhere. post-nut clarity hits differently for him — where he always tells himself that he wants to be yours forever.

boyfriend!soonyoung who’s not only the best boyfriend, the best lover but also your best friend and the one person you’re most thankful for in the world ! <3

a/n: haha…was in a hoshi mood…<3 GAH. i hope u guys liked it ! typed this all in one go while thinking abt hoshi n him being the bestest boy ever.

[scarletwinterxx]

sit down with jeong jaehyun

hello! so this is a new format of story I wanted to do, hope you like it🥺 i do have a few works on the way but I've been so busy with work again and this coming months i feel like so I apologize in advance for the slow uploads.

If you want me to make more of this with the other members just let me know😅 or you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

The scene starts with two vacant chairs in front of the camera. Then two people walk in, sitting right next to each other.

"Okay, welcome. Can you introduce yourselves please" someone from behind the camera says

Your partner gestures for you to go first, "Hi I'm Jeong Y/N, 25"

"Hello, I'm Jeong Jaehyun, 26"

:Your last names are both Jeong?

The two of you chuckle, not the first time hearing this question "Mhm, but we're not related in any way. Don't worry" Jaehyun says

: So what are you to each other?

"I'm his girlfriend" you smile, so does Jaehyun.

"I'm her boyfriend"

: How long have the two of you been together?

"5 years"

"7 years"

The two of you answer differently, making you turn to look at each other. "That doesn't count" you tell him but Jaehyun shakes his head

"It does, it's been 7 years baby" he says

"We were on a break" you remind him, he gives you the stare so you turn to look at the camera again to change your answer

"We've been together for 7 years"

The person behind the camera chuckles

: You said you were on a break, what happened then?

"We kind of broke up for over a year, life happened and things got hectic. We decided mutually to end it" you explained

: How did the two of you got back together?

This time Jaehyun answers, recalling the memory

"We have the same circle of friends so we still saw each other sometimes, but this one time we went to dinner and we started talking again. It felt right. I realized how much I missed her and I wanted to give us another chance so I pursued her again" he looks over at you

"He saw flowers outside the restaurant and bought it, he gave it to me and now we're here. We haven't been apart since then" you finish

: How did the two of you meet?

"We met way back in middle school, he was one of the popular guys. All the girls in our grade had a crush on his and would give him their valentine favors. I really didn't think I had a chance" you chuckled, feeling your boyfriend's gaze on the side of your face

"I always get so many chocolates and valentines letter in my locker, but one year I got a whole cake with a small note greeting me a happy birthday" Jaehyun says

"That was me" you say with a big smile. You feel Jaehyun's hand take yours, then he kisses the back of your hand.

: Who liked who first?"

"I guess I did. I wasn't immune to his charms back then. I didn't expect he would notice me too"

"What do you mean? I knew who you were. I was the one who confessed first"

"Yeah because your ears would always turn red when we talked, you got busted" you tease him, giving his ear a playful tug

: What's one thing you love about your significant other?

Jaehyun answers first with no hesitation, "I love how she lets me be me. I feel the most complete with her. We broke up before so we can both learn and grow more, and we did. But me with her is the best version of me I can be"

You listen to his words, feeling all the emotions. Smiling at your boy before turning back to the camera

"I love his jokes" you hear him laugh from beside you

"Not everyone will get it. You can tell the exact moment he makes a joke in his head before he says it out loud, half of the time it's not even that funny but to me it always is. I just love his humor, I guess"

"I think you just love me a lot" he tells you, you roll your eyes at him

: Who said I love you first?

"He did, but technically I did. He said I said it in my sleep but he never told me about it until after a few years. But he's the one who said with both of us conscious" you chuckle

"She was so tired that day, we went back to my place and was just cuddling on my bed. I asked her if she was tired and wanted to sleep, she tucked herself on my side telling me to wake her up in an hour then she suddenly mumbled I love you. I thought I was hallucinating but I couldn't stop smiling after that. I said I love you to her not long after that, on the same bed while we were cuddling"

"Just cuddling" you clarified, earning a laugh from the staff

: Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?

"Honestly, settled down with a family of my own"

"Of our own, baby" Jaehyun interrupts you, fighting the smile off of your face

"Settled down with a family of our own. I want to have kids, I love babies so it's definitely something I look forward to in the future"

Jaehyun listens to you, in his head he's already naming your two kids. He can't stop the smile on his face

"How about you, love?" you ask him, breaking him out if his thoughts

"Married to you, with two kids. I'm actually thinking of their names right now"

"Shut up" you laugh out loud, hitting him playfully on the arm

: What would you say is the secret to a long lasting relationship like yours?

"The truth is, it's not always smooth sailing. You will have fights, disagreements and arguments somewhere along the way and that's okay. That means the two of you are learning, growing up together. What's important is learning how to resolve it together, listen to each other and understand each other's side" you answer

Jaehyun nods in agreement.

"Be your partner's friend. It's important to tell them when something's not right, when something upsets you, when something bothers you. You don't always have to coddle them, appease them. Be each other's voice of reason. Of course always love and respect each othe" he says

: Okay, that's all. Thank you so much for sharing your time and your story with us, Mr. and Ms. Jeong. Anything else you want to say?

You shake your head, "Thank you everyone for your hardwork, thanks for having us" you say, then you look over at your boyfriend.

It was quick but you caught the cheeky smile on his face, and it meant one thing.

"Oh gosh he's about say something either really cheesy or really corny, just wait" you tell the staff and the camera

"Thanks everyone for having us, next time when we come back we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Jeong" he says with a big smile

"Okay see, I knew he was going to say something. That's it, valentine boy we're done here. Thank you!"

AND CUT

[cutieebabyy]

k.b

summary: best friends to lovers

warnings: angst. fluff at the end.

The day I met Katsuki was the day I fell in love with him. We were six years old. I was at the park, playing with my friends, and I had fallen off the swing when he rushed over to me, asking me if I was okay and if anything hurt. Shocking, I know. But he was so attentive and so caring that day. I nearly forgot how caring he could be as we grew up.

When we reached elementary school, we were as close as ever. I only ever wanted to be with him. During recess, school projects, art. I would even beg my parents to let us have a playdate. Katsuki would always play my dog when we played house and he was so committed to the bit, he’d crawl on the floor and beg to be pet.

Middle school finally came along and he never left my side. Even as the fear of not going to the same high-school together grew. Katsuki got meaner our middle school years. Not to me, necessarily, but to others. He was so cruel and I had to force him to apologize to those he wronged.

And now highschool…My downfall. We got into UA together, but he grew distant from me. He made new friends, as did I, but I kept trying to include him in everything. He’d just blow me off for his new friends. His cooler friends. Even his prettier friends.

Eventually, we just stopped talking. It hurt, knowing he used to know me better than I knew myself and now he doesn’t know anything about me. We’re strangers again. I thought I meant more to him, but I guess not.

Currently, we’re in the common room and I’m sitting with my friends; Midoriya, Ochaco, Jirou, Tenya, and Todoroki. We decided to play truth or dare, but halfway through our game we got interrupted by our classmates.

“What are you guys doing?” Kirishima asks, taking a seat next to Midoriya. “Playing truth or dare. You guys want to play?” Ochaco offers, and I inwardly wince. Bakugo is standing there with his friends. “Sure, come on guys.” Kirishima agrees and his friends sit down with us. I make sure Mina sits next to me, and Todoroki sits on the other side of me so that Bakugo can’t sit anywhere near me.

I avoid his burning gaze and look over at Ochaco to start the game again. “Okay, Todoroki, truth or dare.” She asks the boy next to me. “Uh, truth.” He chooses.

“Is it true what everyone’s been saying about you and Y/N?” I narrow my eyes at her. What is she talking about? I can tell Todoroki doesn’t know either with the way that he’s staring at her, so she clarifies. “That you two have got something going on?”

I feel my cheeks heat at the question. It’s not that we do have something going on, it’s just this question is so embarrassing. Todoroki isn’t bad looking and obviously I’ve had a little crush on him before, but it would go nowhere because my love for Bakugo would never end. No matter what has happened between us. And Todoroki is aware of that. We’ve gotten closer these past few months and he’s become one of my good friends.

He shakes his head. “No. Y/N and I are just close friends.”

“And by close friends you mean…” Mina trails off, waiting for him to clarify. “Friends.” He shrugs.

The girls groan. “This is so upsetting! I surely thought something was going on between the two of you. I mean those late night talks, watching the stars together, pairing up together in class any chance you get?”

“We’re just friends, guys. Now, can we move on?” I spare Todoroki an apologetic glance and he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.” He mutters.

“Okay, Y/N, truth or dare?” Mina asks. “Um,” I pause for a moments. “Dare.”

“Okay,” she smirks. “I dare you to play seven minutes in Heaven with Todoroki.”

I sigh, “can we do something else, please?” Sure, me and him are close, but they are doing this purposely. Little do they know, I’ve got my eyes set on someone else. Someone who doesn’t reciprocate those feelings for me.

“Come on, Mina, she’s not comfortable with that. Just do something else.” Kirishima steps in when he notices my reluctance. “Thank you.” I mouth to him and he nods.

“Okay, fiiine. I dare you to give Bakugo a hug because he’s looking a little tense over there.” And as soon as she says that, my body tenses and my eyes go over to him, who’s already staring at me.

I shake my head. “No.” Todoroki says for me. Then, I look back over to my friends, “I think it’s time I call it a night, actually.” Todoroki places a hand on my lower back and leans into whisper, “do you need me to walk you up, so he doesn’t bother you?”

“I’m okay. Thank you, Sho. I appreciate it deeply.” I stand up and mutter a goodnight to him and my friends, not sparing Bakugo a second glance.

I’m in the hallway that leads to my dorm when all of a sudden, I’m forced up against a wall. “What the hell?” I spat. And then I look up and realize who has me trapped against his body and the wall.

“What do you want?” I snap. He’s staring at me almost as if he’s hurt. “What is going on with you and half n’ half?” He mumbles, his crimson eyes searing into my soul. “None of your business. Now, let me go.” I try to push him away, but he’s so much stronger than me.

“You’re hiding something.” He says, accusingly. “I’m not hiding anything. Shoto and I are just friends. Now get out of the way. I’m tired.”

“Tired, my ass. Why are you lying?” He narrows his eyes, studying me. I clench my jaw, “Bakugo, I don’t have the patience for you right now. Get. Off.”

He pushes away from me all of a sudden as if I burned him. His eyes are boring into me and he looks almost— hurt? By what? I don’t know. Before I can walk away, he speaks again, “Bakugo?”

“That is your name, isn’t it?” I feign unawareness.

“What is going on with you, Y/N/N?” He asks, in a softer tone. I almost feel bad. And then I remember how quickly he replaced me.

How quickly he moved on from our friendship and got new ones. What sucks even more is I see him and Yao-Momo. I see the way they look at each other. It’s the way I used to wish he’d look at me.

“Don’t call me that. Please, don’t call me that.” I shut my eyes, trying to prevent the tears from escaping. Luckily, he can’t see me because my back is turned to him, but I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of even hearing my cries.

“What happened to us?” He finally asks the question I know he’s been itching to ask. “Don’t you dare,” I snap, finally facing him. “You happened. You did this. To me, to us. You ruined us.” I try to push him away with all of my force, but he doesn’t budge.

“What?” He breathes.

“You acted like you loved me and then as soon as we got to UA, you dropped me. You replaced me. You stoped talking to me. You didn’t want to come over anymore. You didn’t want to hang out anymore. We didn’t have our late night calls anymore. You didn’t sneak in anymore. You didn’t hug me anymore. You didn’t kiss me anymore. You didn’t love me anymore, Katsuki.”

He opens his mouth to reply, but before I can, I speak. “Don’t act like you didn’t. You got these better friends, cooler friends. Prettier girls were finally going up to you. I see you and her. I see you and Yao-Momo. I see the way you look at her. You look at her like you’d drop anything and everything for her, and she’s great, but I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore, knowing that it could’ve been us, but instead, I was fooled into thinking you felt something for me.”

“So, yeah. That’s what happened, Bakugo. I’m leaving now, and you’re going to go back to your cool friends and your pretty little girlfriend, and I’m going to be in my dorm, still in love with you.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” He finally breaks the silence.

“Sorry?” I chuckle humorlessly. “Do not pull this BS with me, y’know I hate that crap.”

“I’m not. She’s not my girlfriend. She’s nothing to me. I look at her like that because everyday I wish it was you. I know I fucked up, alright? I just…I didn’t want to hold you back. I saw the woman you were becoming. I saw how you were flourishing and how your new friends treated you. I saw how much closer you got to fuckin’ half n’ half, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt, Y/N. I wanted you all to myself, but what the hell could I give you? I’m a mess. I’m angry all the time, I’m violent. I am not what you want. At least he’d treat you right.” He scoffs.

“And don’t you dare, for a second, think that I didn’t love you. Y’know I did. But I couldn’t hold you back anymore. You were growing and I stayed the same, angry boy I’ve always been.”

I choke on a sob. “You can’t decide what I want and what I don’t! All I ever wanted was you! Todoroki and I are friends. That’s it. There’s nothing more to it. And you really think you didn’t treat me right? You protected me from those mean girls in elementary. You stayed by my side 24/7. You took care of me when I couldn’t do it myself. You helped my parents with a bunch of shit. You’d buy me chocolate, knowing it was my favorite, when I was having a bad day. And you think you didn’t treat me right?” I take a step closer to him.

He’s not looking at me anymore. Instead, his eyes are zeroed in on the ground. “Katsuki, look at me.”

He shakes his head. “Please.” I say in a broken whisper. He swallows and finally looks down at me. “I love you. Please, don’t ever think for a second that I’ve loved someone else. You are my everything. You always have been. I want to grow with you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He mumbles. I wrap my arms around his waist and inhale his caramel-y scent I haven’t smelled in forever. “I love you, Y/N.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I love you and I’ll do better this time. I won’t ever leave you.”

“Good.”

Bonus:)

It’s late and Katsuki and I are in the kitchen for a late night snack. He hates to admit it but he’s an amazing cook. “Baby,” I call for him. “Hm?” He hums, focused on his task. “C’mere.” I open up my arms.

He looks over at me in amusement. He wraps his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. “What’s this for, hm?” He smirks. “Shut up and let me love on you.”

He chuckles. “The pancakes are going to burn, sweetheart.”

“Let them.” I mutter, bringing him in for a small peck.

“As much as I love you, I don’t want the building to burn down. So, give me a sec.” He leaves a small peck on my neck and walks over to the stove.

I’m so in love with him.

[gowonders]

eternally ♥ c.bg

summary ? : you and choi beomgyu being best friends. literally INSEPARABLE. doing everything together. everything. (mutual pining duh)

notes: are y’all getting sick of my beomgyu and besties to lover obsession? yes? TOO BAD. i ♥ this trope with this man. it’s his. moablr when can we agree that beomgyu is THE bsf>lvrs man.

warnings: cursing, non idol au, not proofread, short

beomgyu, your childhood bestfriend. you two got ‘married’ at recess multiple times, you two shared a first kiss, first breakup, let’s just say he was always there for you.

circa middle school… “she was ugly anyways, gyu!!” “no she wassnnttttttt.”

around high school? “have you kissed anyone, gyu?” “yeah?” “show me how.”

you two were always attached at the hip, doing everything together, and honestly? you can’t but notice how hard you’ve been falling for him lately too.

everytime you’re at his house, watching corny romance movies, laying in his arms as he braids you hair, you always imagined you and beomgyu in those situations.. until the main characters do something absolutely stupid, making you both double over laughing, hitting eachother as you giggle.

or when you were at the beach, and you made a sandcastle, and in the sand he wrote ‘beomgyu+yn’ with a heart next to it.

it made you crazy. you needed him to be yours.

and you didn’t know, but beomgyu liked you back— no. loved you back.

he was so obvious with his flirting, told all his friends about you, told his family about you, but you were the only one who didn’t know.

he bought you stuff, always made you take photo strips with him at the mall, and you guys ‘platonically kissed’ all the time.

so why did he think you didn’t like him?

and why didn’t you think he liked you?

because.. you were both painfully oblivious. your friends saw it, your family, anyone who met both of you at the same time saw it.

and you only saw it when you were at your house, parents gone shopping..

”yn. did you take the ice cream i left here last night…..?” he asks, voice getting playfully angry.

with a giggle, your head leans against the couch, yelling into the kitchen. “mayyyybeeeeeee…!”

with a loud huff, he shuts the freezer and runs over to the couch and pins you down, starting to tickle you.

”beomgyu you bitch!! stop!!!!!” you say, your arms flailing as he relentlessly attacks you, both of you giggling at the moment.

until you pay him back, sitting up and tickling him too.. he’s definitely loud.. screaming ringing all throughout your house before he pins you back down, but this time he stops.

his hands are wrapped around your wrists, keeping you from moving, and he’s sitting on your thighs, so you don’t try and get him again.. but he only realizes now how close you are.. and if he moved a few inches closer, he could just kiss you.

and maybe if he confessed now, he could. but would that ruin the friendship? everything?

“gyu? you good?” you ask, squirming under him, snapping him out of his trance, but all he can say is “i like you— no. love you.” you gasp quietly, managing out of his grip as you both look at eachother. the silence is so loud. “what?” you say, a breathy laugh at the end. are you dreaming?

the beomgyu that just called you a bitch, who always rolled his eyes when people shipped you, who said anything “lovey dovey” was for practice, liked you???

well? so did you.

”i like yo-“ “i heard what you said. i just can’t tell if you’re being serious or if you’re playing a joke on me. again.”

yeah.. he once confessed to you to ‘get your reaction’… (in reality he was just too chicken to go through with it.)

“nonononono yn!! i really do! you think all the times we’ve kissed or fake dates was because i despised you or something? no! i really like you. i will like you forever. eternally.” he says, still keeping you pinned to the couch, but you can’t even bring yourself to move, anyways..

”really??” you laugh sheepishly, was it just you or was he moving closer?? you could feel his long hair brushing against your cheeks as he just sits over you,

”yes, really!! you know what, you need to shut up. i’ve been SO obvious and you have been the most oblivious bitch ever!! it is so so annoying, yn. i think i’ve made out with you more times than the times you’ve realized i was flirting.” he says, giving you that ‘you’re stupid.’ look he always does, his eyes are narrow and his brows are furrowed. “im oblivious? weren’t you the one that—“ “shut up.” he cuts you off quickly and actually closes that gap between you two, pressing his lips against yours in a rushed manner.

that definitely shut you up!!

he pulls away, his eyes moving all over your features before shaking his head as he rolls his eyes. “so? can we date now or???” he says, his thumb running across your bottom lip.

you stall a little, then stutter for a second.. but then you just give him a nod. that nod he’s been waiting for ages to see. and that honestly makes his day.

“finally, youre still such a little asshat for eating my ice cream.” he says before peppering kisses along your cheeks.

”awe, really? i thought one of the perks of dating you would be you forgiving me?”

[lottesreads]

Why Me? - Part 4

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)

Warnings: Cursing, insecurities, pining, mommy/daddy issues, throw up, little bit of angst, mentions of pregnancy, dirty jokes, mentions of death, mentions of being drunk/drinking

Word Count: 6892

Summary: The next morning commences after Bob sleeps over. You tell him things you never thought you'd talk to anyone about, and you both get to know each other a little better.

A/N: I realize now I have no posting schedule, I just post when it's done, so sorry 'bout that! Things are starting to pick up and I cannot wait to get to the next couple of parts, enjoy! And as always, love to know what you think!

Masterlist

Contrary to popular belief, you are actually a very level-headed individual. You made it through the academy and multiple deployments, often as the only woman in your squadron. You pushed back when people tried to knock you down, and you were able to do it by yourself. You didn’t need to call your dad for backup, he often didn’t know just how much shit you had to sit with just because you held his last name. It wasn’t just the Navy that held you in suspicion because of this. Your own flesh and blood held some animosity toward you. You often heard your grandmother tell you how great her daughter’s life could have been, “If your good for nothing father hadn’t come around.” You took it as she meant it: If she never had you.

That’s how it has always been around your mother’s side. She met Mav when he was stationed in Florida, your mother on spring break from her junior year in college. She was barely old enough to drink, but they made quick enough conversation. He was still in his flight suit from work when she walked into the bar with the rest of her friends. Only looking for a little fun she quickly left them in the dust for the man behind the aviators. They spent the entire week together until she had to go back to Ohio. He gave her his number in case she ever found herself back in Florida, and that was it. That is, until about a month later after finals were over and she still had one test to take. It came back positive. 

Pete was thrilled to hear back from your mom already, hoping they’d be doing a different kind of catching up. Instead, he was met with the sound of your grandmother yelling at him through the phone. He didn’t hear much, but the few words and sentences he did catch were “pregnant”, “kill you”, and “my baby”, but to be honest he didn’t hear a lot after the first time she said pregnant. To be fair, your dad stepped up to the best ability the Navy would let him. He requested a transfer to be closer to the two of you, calling Carole for advice, and when you were born, she and Bradley even made the journey to see you.

Then there were the deployments. Everywhere he went, Mav seemed to piss off someone, whether it be his Captain, Admiral, or anybody above him who had the power to send him out, they did. Moving to Virginia, your parents tried for the first two years of your life. They really did. Your mother ended up dropping out of school to take care of you while your dad was away. Always citing the Navy for the reason their troubles began. When he was back they’d fight constantly, her saying he was always away, and him telling her that it was his job. She couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Thus started the arrangement you grew up with. Spending the school year with your mother, and the summers with your dad. Even if he had to leave in the middle, you spent the rest of your time with Carole and Bradley. A great reprieve from your mother’s side. Even from such a young age you felt bad taking away Carole from Bradley, learning guilt from your family very early on. There was one point when Pete was deployed when you were 8, Bradley 14, that you told him this. He told you he felt the same way about your dad and ended the conversation with, “We can share.”

You miss the times when you couldn’t wait to see the two of them. Which makes what happened last night even more bittersweet when you look back on it. Your dad didn’t even think there was conflict between you two, he just saw his kids talking again. That was enough for him. You didn’t even want to think about Carole right now. It always hurt, but knowing that her girl was fighting with her boy would have her smacking the both of you upside the head.

You could practically feel her in your brain the next morning. Either that or your head was pounding from all the tequila and lack of water in your system. From behind your eyelids you can tell the sun is just barely starting to come up. Damn that internal clock. You dare to move your face further into the pillow, but still completely at the feeling of something moving underneath your arm. Your hand lies curled into Bob’s side, the remainder of your arm resting over his stomach. You must have shifted in the night, you on your stomach, Bob’s hand now resting on your arm. His head facing toward you, eyes fluttering every couple of seconds, obviously in a deep sleep. He looks so peaceful like this, it almost stops your heart from beating out of its chest.

You take slow, measured breaths, praying you don’t wake him up. Not wanting to leave the only moment thus far that you’ve seen Bob completely at peace. Your eyes get caught wandering over the same few freckles across his nose and cheeks. As you admire the appearance of each dot, you are made painstakingly aware of how close your faces are. Your arm unintentionally flexes around his side and he takes a deep inhale. You close your eyes immediately, scared that you may have woken him up. His hand starts to smooth up and down your arm as you try to quiet your breathing. His hand abruptly stops in the middle of your arm as you feel his head lift from the pillow. You are trying your darndest to quiet your breathing all while your heart rate is skyrocketing. An impressive feat you are hoping Bob doesn’t catch on to. His head falls back to the pillow as you hear him let out a breath. He hasn’t dared to lift his hand from your arm quite yet, it still lingers, his fingers now tracing small shapes.

Oh god that was even worse. Feeling his hand wrap around your arm gave you butterflies. But now he was being so- delicate. Drawing deliberate shapes and patterns, none of which you could decipher. He was fully aware of what he was doing and now so were you. Your chest begins to feel light until the butterflies in your stomach are absolutely lurching. Wait, no you were going to be sick. Your eyes shoot open, alerting Bob, as you untangle yourself from the sheets and run toward the bathroom. Barely making it in time your stomach promptly evacuates whatever was left in there from last night. You can’t even hear Bob follow you in, but are made aware of his presence as he holds back your hair and rubs your back. Even as you’re puking up your guts, you take a moment to acknowledge just how touching the gesture is. And then you feel immediately guilty for letting Rooster get to you last night and ruining the plans you made with Bob.

Once you’re absolutely sure you’re finished, Bob helps you stand as your eyes meet in the mirror. He grabs your toothbrush, applying some toothpaste and handing it to you.

“You feeling ok?”, he asks as you begin to brush your teeth. You close your eyes and nod, not finding the strength to look at him quite yet. “Where do you keep your pain meds?”. You spit and rinse your mouth, continuing to lean over the sink.

“Cupboard to the left of the fridge”, you grumble. Just as soon as he’s gone, Bob reappears right next to you with a couple pills and a glass of water. You graciously accept the drugs and sip the water. You spare a glance in the mirror and catch Bob’s eyes. He had put his glasses on at some point, but was still sporting the sweatpants you lent him. It seemed weirdly intimate and almost fitting to see him in your clothes as well as in your bathroom. Oh god. This poor man had to put up with you all night and had to carry your drunk ass up the stairs. You place your hand over your forehead in embarrassment. “Oh god.”

“What’s wrong, you gonna be sick again?”, concern etches into his voice.

“No it’s not that. I’m just- I’m so sorry I ruined your night.”

“My night wasn’t ruined.” This has you opening your eyes once again and turning to Bob.

“How did I not ruin your night? You were supposed to go out and play pool, not carry your drunk coworker up the stairs and have to crash at her place.”

“Ok, first thing: If I recall correctly we did play pool. Number two: I offered to drive you home and then carry you up the stairs. And number three: I crashed here because I wanted to make sure you were ok. I didn’t feel right leaving you drunk and alone.” He seemingly and very purposefully left out the part where you practically begged him to stay in your bed. And you are grateful for that. The levels of empathy and generosity radiating from this man are astronomical. After getting through the exterior of anxiety and doubt, there is a big old softy in there.

“Well, thanks for doing all that. You didn’t have to.” You shyly offer. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I didn’t make sure you were taken care of.” You look up and share a small smile with him. Seemingly meeting your embarrassment and his kindness in the middle. But your head is still pounding as you wince at the light coming through the door. As if he could read your mind, Bob closes the blinds to your bedroom alleviating the pain slightly. “Let’s get you back to bed.” You blindly take his arm as he leads you to your bed once more, allowing you to get situated before he comes back. The bed dips as he sits next to you, “Fair warning, I’m gonna place this rag on your forehead, ok?”

“Ok”, you whisper. Bob gingerly smooths the cool rag over your head and places the glass of water on your nightstand.

“Now that I know you haven’t died during the night-”

“How can you be so sure? It doesn’t feel that way”, he lets out a small huff of laughter.

“Because you still have the ability to be a smartass. It’ll be a cold day in Hell when you don’t have a quick comeback.” You smile at his use of the word ‘smartass’. You want to take it with a grain of salt, but hope it means he’s more comfortable around you to finally swear.

“Robert, such language.”

“I know I know, just don’t tell my mama.” You open your eyes a crack at the use of his southern drawl, smiling. He’s smiling right back at you, breaking the contact finally as he clears his throat. “Anyway, I’ve gotta get home to Sylvia. But I’ll be back later if you’re feeling better to go grab your car.” You reach out to grab the nearest thing to you, which happens to be his hand.

“Bob, I didn’t even think about my car. I am so sorry. I’ll just walk over there-”

“Hey it’s fine”, he squeezes your hand, “I only live about 10 minutes away, it’s not that big a deal.”

“After this you better be able to call me your friend. You took care of me while I was drunk and held my hair back as I puked. That’s as close as two people can be.” He smiles at your tired words. Of course he wanted to be your friend. He wanted to be more, but he would take anything you were willing to give him. And therefore what the Navy would allow. But he shouldn’t get ahead of himself. It still baffled him why you would want to talk to him in the first place, but here you are. Bonding over the fact that he took care of you. It wasn’t even a question in his mind, he was always going to make sure you were ok.

“Of course you’re my friend”, taking a look down at your still connected hands he realizes all the compromising positions he’s put you in during the last 12 hours. Deciding this is still too intimate for friends, he slips his hand out of yours and stands. “I’ll be back later if you’re feeling up to it.”

“If you insist.” Bob grabs his pants from their folded position on your dresser as well as his phone, looking back to you for one last glance.

“Oh I do.” He taps the door frame, “Get some sleep.” Your eyes slip shut as you succumb to a sleep you would classify as coma-like. You don’t even hear the front door close, Bob being mindful and shutting it as quietly as possible so as not to disturb your headache further.

Bob couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face the entire drive back to his place. You wanted him to be your friend. You wanted to spend time with him. And more importantly, he would be seeing you again later. He didn’t even care he saw you throw up this morning, he still thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Not to mention you were funny as hell and strong-willed. You didn’t back down when Rooster had confronted you, and you ended up beating him in pool, drunk. Thinking of how amazing you are had the smile slipping from his face. What exactly did you see in him? Even just as a friend, what could he have to offer you?

He all too soon pulls up to his driveway, noticing Phoenix’s car waiting for him. He furrows his brow, she never said she was coming over. He makes his way to the front door, unlocking it and walking in. He’s greeted by the sound of paws on the hardwood floor running towards him. Sylvia stretches her back legs jumping up on his chest.

“Hey girl!”He greets her with head scratches, gently resting her front back on the floor. Hearing him enter, Phoenix frantically rounds the corner and lets out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god. Where the hell have you been?!” She looks him up and down once, face contorting in confusion, “And who the hell’s pants are you wearing?”

“I crashed with Mantis, she was pretty drunk and I didn’t feel right leaving her alone. Why are you here?”

“Because you haven’t answered your phone all night or this morning! I was worried about you.” Bob grabs his phone from out of the pocket of your pants, realizing he left it on do not disturb. There in all their glory are the missed text messages and calls from Phoenix.

“I’m sorry, I put my phone on silent so it wouldn’t wake Mantis up.” Phoenix smiles softly at the notion, but furrows her brow once more.

“Wait, where exactly did you sleep?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you were afraid of your phone going off and waking her up that means you were pretty close.” Bob looks away and rubs the back of his neck. “Bob, answer the question.” The way she squints her dark eyes at him makes him realize she isn’t messing around.

“I was in her room.”

“Did you sleep on the floor?”

“No” He responds quietly, hoping she didn’t hear it. By the way her eyes widen and mouth drops he knows she did.

“BOB!” He quickly holds his hands up in surrender, attempting to clarify the situation.

“I only did because she didn’t want me to leave! I stayed on my side the entire time and I promise you nothing happened.” She huffs out a sigh.

“If Mav finds out you were in his house, in his daughter’s bed-” Bob’s face reddens at her implications.

“Phoenix! Oh my god! You’re making it sound like something it definitely wasn’t”, he rubs his face in his hands avoiding her gaze.

“All I’m saying is, you are literally in her pants right now.” He continues to hide in his hands while Phoenix snickers at her own joke.

“You should go.”

“Oh come on, you’re the one in her clothes! But if it’s making you uncomfortable I’ll stop.” He peeks through his fingers and realizes she’s being sincere. She hears a muffled “thank you” from him as she makes her way to the door. “Good to know you’re alive. We still on for brunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah I’ll be there”, Bob mumbles out, still embarrassed.

“Good, Rachel’s really excited to meet you.” Bob finally looks at Phoenix and smiles, noticing the love-stricken look on her face. 

“Well I’m excited to meet her, too.” Rachel and Phoenix have been going out for three months, Phoenix only now taking the initiative to introduce her to her friends. Not wanting to scare her off by bringing her by the Hard Deck. Last night only solidified that she was making the right choice in not doing so.

“See ya later!” she calls out, shutting the door behind her. Leaving Bob alone with Sylvia, he bends down and gives her all the attention she deserves. He takes her head in both his hands and scratches her ears.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here last night”, he says in the baby voice reserved only for her, “Daddy had to go take care of someone. I know, I know. Maybe you’ll meet her someday.” She cocks her head to the side. “But don’t get too attached, that’s gotta be my problem and mine alone.”

True to his word, after texting to make sure you were feeling ok, Bob came over to retrieve your car. After getting a few more hours of sleep and almost throwing up a couple more times, you were able to shower and down a few glasses of water. Then miraculously you put on some clothes and were attempting to do your hair as the doorbell rang. As fast as your legs let you, you cautiously walked down the stairs to open the door. Even with the pills you took earlier this morning, you were still feeling lightheaded. Not even attempting to eat anything after Bob had watched you at your not-so-finest moment.

You open the door and there’s Bob in all his coiffed hair and wire frames glory. Sporting another t-shirt that wraps perfectly around his biceps as well as jeans that hug his legs just right. You really wish you were a pair of jeans right now. You barely even notice he’s holding your neatly folded sweatpants until he holds them out for you to take.

“I washed these for you, thanks for letting me borrow ‘em.” You graciously take them, taken aback by his thoughtfulness. You really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Thanks Bob, you really didn’t have to do that.” He simply shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets, straining his forearms.

“It’s really no problem. How are you feeling?” You move to take the pants back to your bedroom, answering him while climbing the stairs.

“I’m alright, definitely better than this morning, thanks to you.” You return downstairs and find Bob admiring the framed pictures on the walls. Some of you and your dad, some of just you. And of course some of Bradley with his family. He picks up a frame of you, Bradley, and Carole. You were only 10, and didn’t know it at the time, but it was one of the last summers you’d spend with the Bradshaws. “Oh god, don’t look at that.” It was meant to be playful, but scared Bob nonetheless.

“Sorry.”

“No I’m sorry, I don’t want to subject you to pre-pubescent me.” He smiles softly and looks back at the picture in his hands. You’re sporting a great toothy smile and hugging Carole while she sticks out her tongue and Bradley gives you bunny-ears with his fingers. Bob doesn’t think he’s ever seen you smile that wide since he’s met you. 

“You look so happy” He watches as you reminisce, your eyes softening while your finger runs over the woman’s face. You don’t look a thing like her, but he notices the similarities in Bradley.

“I was”, you say simply. You clear your throat, breaking the both of you out of the moment. “So, you ready to finally get rid of me?” He lets out a small laugh through his nose. That statement could not be farther from the truth. Bob opens his passenger door for you, almost reaching to help you up, but pulling his hand back before it lands at your waist.

“Good to know it wasn’t my truck that was the problem.” You scoff at him as he slides into his seat, pulling his seatbelt on as you do the same.

“I happen to like your truck Robert, just not so much when I can barely feel my legs beneath me.”

“Glad to hear it.” You both smile at each other until he tears his eyes away to the road to get going. The radio begins to fill the silence with its humming, guitar filling the cab of Bob’s truck. His hands start to sweat as he looks over at you, your eyes closed as your head falls back to the headrest. “How’s your head?”

“Haven’t had any complaints yet”, you mumble. Bob chokes on his spit, eyes widening. Did he hear you correctly?

“What?”, he asks quickly. Your eyes mirror Bob’s as you look over at him, his gaze narrowly avoiding yours as his face heats up. You slap your hand over your mouth, forgetting whose presence you were in.

“Oh my god”, you say behind your hand, taking it away only to rest it in between the two of you. “I am so sorry, it’s a reflex response at this point! Phoenix showed me the Elvira movie while in school and it’s just something we say now.” You start to laugh nervously, hoping to dissipate some of the awkward tension you created. His facade cracks as your nervous giggle continues, he begins to break into a full hearted laugh while your giggle turns into something akin to his. “Bob”, you say as your laughter dies down, “If we’re going to be friends you’re going to have to get used to stupid crap like that.” His smile grows a bit wider, as he imagines himself laughing like this with you more often.

“I could get used to that.”

“Good”, you say, resting your head once again. Trying not to stifle another smile that threatens to take over your face.

“But seriously, how are you feeling?” You let out a large sigh.

“Oh you know, drugs can only do so much.” He knows you’re not letting on to how bad you’re actually feeling as your eyes remain closed.

“Have you had anything to eat today?”

“Oh god no, you were there this morning. I haven’t even dared to try to keep anything down.”

“Well that’s why your head still hurts. You need to absorb the lingering alcohol with some carbs. I know just the place.”

“Ya know I usually have dinner with someone before they sleep over, not the other way around.” Bob’s face still reddens at your remark, but this time he doesn’t shy away from laughing first.

“You know me, always breakin’ the rules.”

Bob pulls off into the parking lot of a small diner, one that had not seen any renovations since at least the 80s. You’re out of your side before he has a chance to open your door. He’s kind of glad you don’t give him the option. He wants to be a gentleman, but doesn’t want to toe the line between friends and something else. He does open the door for you and lets the hostess know it’s just the two of you before getting seated in a small booth close to the back.

You both begin to look over the menu before you speak up, “So, what do you recommend?” He glances up from over his menu before reaching over and pointing at yours. You can’t help but notice the veins bulging out of his hands and forearm as he does so. You keep reminding yourself that friends aren’t supposed to think of each other this way but you just can’t stop yourself from remembering how his hands felt on you. The drag of his long fingers over your arm, and the way his hands gripped your hips-

“They serve breakfast all day, and make a mean biscuits and gravy. But you can’t go wrong with a burger and fries.” Your stomach lurches at the thought and Bob must notice the grimace on your face. “Or, if you’re not feeling up for something that big, they do have good soups. But mama always said that the best cure for a hangover was some nice greasy food.” You smile at the slip of his accent.

“Well, if your mama says so.” His hand retreats as his lips curl up at your mirroring of his accent. The waitress comes over to take your orders, and at his mama’s advice you order a burger and fries. She leaves with the menus as you turn your attention back to Bob. “So, where ya from Bob?”

“I shoulda seen this coming”, he starts to fidget with his hands, drawing your attention back to the long digits.

“What do you mean?”, you respond coyly, feigning ignorance.

“Oh come on, I say ‘mama’ one too many times and people start asking where the twang comes from.”

“Well?”

“If you must know, I’m from West Virginia. Born and raised.” You raise your brows.

“No shit.”

“What?”

“It’s just that I spent every summer with my dad in Virginia. We’ve been next door neighbors this entire time.” Bob allows a slight smile to take over his face, entertained by your excitement.

“Where’d you spend the rest of the year?” It’s your turn to tear your eyes away from him. You try not to let the thought of your mom and her family affect you, but it’s obviously no use.

“With my mom, in Ohio.” Regardless of the fact that Ohio is also a neighbor to West Virginia, you brought up the time with your dad instead. Before he’s able to ask any follow up questions, the waitress comes by with your food, dropping the heaping portions in front of you. You hesitantly take a bite, but instantly melt into it as the first taste hits your tongue. “Shit, that’s good stuff.”

“What’d I tell ya?”, you smile at him through a mouth full of burger while he takes a bite. Opting to slow your roll before you upchuck anything else today, you set your food down and take a drink of your water. “So, your family’s still in West Virginia?” Bob gently sets his burger down and gives you his full attention.

“Yeah, I got an older brother and a younger sister. As well as my mom and dad. They live back on my family’s ranch.”

“So you are full-heartedly a John Denver country boy”, Bob laughs and stares down at his plate.

“I guess I am.”

“So how’d you end up in the Navy then? Assuming your family wanted you to work on the ranch.”

“They just wanted the best for me. One day I picked up a book in the library about planes and I was hooked. Then a Naval recruiter showed up to our high school and told me about the aviation program and here we are.”

“Here we are.” You share eye contact for a quick beat, both smiles growing slowly on your faces once more. You can’t help but feel a little jealous of his family. Both parents just wanting the best for their kids, supporting them no matter what. “I bet your mom’s the kind of person to have a sticker on her car saying ‘Proud Navy Mom’”. He bites his lip to stifle a large grin and you know you’ve hit the nail on the head.

“I plead the fifth.” You break out into a small laugh while Bob admires your smile. He wants to know more about your family but is hesitant to bring up the subject. He decides to go for it anyway, hoping to get to know you a little better than surface level. “I already know about your dad, but I’m assuming your mom wasn’t too thrilled when you joined?” Your hand stops mid-air from bringing the ketchup covered fry to your mouth. You place it back on the plate and dust your hands off on your jeans avoiding Bob’s gaze.

“Uh, no. No she wasn’t. There’s a reason I didn’t tell either of my parents I was going to the Academy, my dad didn’t even know until I sent him a graduation announcement.” Bob’s brow practically raises to his hairline.

“Really, not even your dad?”

“No”, you say shaking your head, “After everything that happened with Bradley I didn’t want to risk him pulling the same bullshit.” “What exactly happened between you and Rooster?” You shake your head again, looking at him this time.

“You don’t wanna hear that.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.” Your eyes latch on to his, the sincerity oozing off of him.

“Well, he was like a brother to me. Closest thing I’ve ever had to one, excluding the step-siblings who couldn’t give less of a shit about my existence if they tried. And after my dad pulled his papers to the Academy I never heard from him again. I tried reaching out, and every year I still sent him a text for his birthday. But he never responded.” You swallow and look away from Bob, debating whether or not you’d tell him the whole truth. “And then when I needed him the most he still didn’t pick up. I even left him a voicemail hoping he’d hear it and after six years he’d respond. But nothing. After his mom died, I thought he’d need us more than ever. Turns out he was angry enough to never speak to us again.” You look back at Bob, bringing you down to earth once more. “That was, until this mission. It took them almost dying to get back to each other. That and one weekend in the middle of nowhere, God knows what they talked about.” Bob waits patiently, noticing you struggling to find the words to continue. He continues to nod and stare at you. Not in a pitiful way, but in a way that he wants to understand where you come from. “And I guess I’m still mad at him because both him and my dad got closure. I didn’t. I’m not going to apologize for something my dad did, and I guess Rooster doesn’t think he has anything to apologize for. And now they’re off playing catch-up, and I’m… still here. Not that right here is a bad thing, I’m glad to have your company.”

Bob’s eyes go from understanding to confusion. “If he made up with your dad, that still doesn’t explain why Rooster’s being- “A dickhead?” You cut him off. There’s a small fire behind his eyes now, a look you have never seen on Bob until this point.

“Yeah.” You shrug, going back to your fries.

“I dunno, I’m no psychologist but I think it has something to do with the fact that I started all the smart comments and he’s just getting back at me. Still, I’m angry at him for good reason. I don’t know what his is.” You go back to your food, hoping Bob will notice your want to shift the gears of where this conversation has gone. “But now that you know my tragic backstory, I’m gonna have to kill you.” Catching the way you dissolve into humor, Bob’s face softens as he takes your hand across the table, he seems to be doing that a lot in the past week. You’re not mad about it, not at all. Just.. perplexed. How could you go from barely talking to this man, to sharing some of your darkest secrets with him all within the span of six days?

“Hey”, he brings your attention back to his face rather than your smaller hand in his. His brow turned up in the middle, conveying empathy in the highest degree. “I’m sorry you have to deal with all that, especially by yourself. And you know what, Rooster sounds like a total-” He stops to find the word he’s looking for, you look on waiting to let him see what he comes up with “asshole”, he finishes for himself. Your eyes widen as you take in his words, and that’s when you feel him squeeze your hand in his much larger one. The same hand that traced your arm this morning when he fell asleep next to you, the same one that lifted you up all those stairs, helped you into his car, the same one that pulled you off the ground after your failed exercise, and the same one that is now reassuring you that everything is going to be ok. He can’t know for certain, but for right now everything is better than ok while he holds your hand in his.

You want to tell him how safe he makes you feel, how you want to tell him more about yourself. Something you always had a hard time doing. You squeeze his hand right back and gaze into his ocean-blue eyes. You get lost in them before you’re able to seemingly find the words you’re looking for. They’re in your heart, but you can’t get them to your brain and out of your mouth. You open your mouth to speak, but before you’re able to get anything resembling a ‘thank you’ out, you hear your name being called.

Your head turns in the direction of the voice, as both you and Bob immediately retract your hands from each other. You’re met with Penny and Amelia walking toward the booth you and Bob are seated in. Your heartbeat is racing as you blink rapidly, you barely manage to speak, “Penny, hi!” You glance back at Bob as he rubs the back of his neck, avoiding any eye contact. Why are you so nervous? It’s not like you were doing anything wrong. You were just holding hands across the table with your newly coworker turned friend and getting lost in his gorgeous eyes. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

“Hey, good to see you made it out of the parking lot alright last night”, Penny remarks as she and Amelia stand before your table. “Not that I had any room for doubt when Bob was the one making sure you got home safe.”

“Right, yeah he made sure I was ok.” You feel a flush take over your face at the prospect of anyone finding out Bob was in your bed last night. Especially your dad’s girlfriend and her daughter. But you know you didn’t do anything wrong, friends share beds all the time. It was purely platonic. “I’m sorry for last night though, won’t happen again.”

She waves her hand, “Don’t even worry about it. You had a little too much to drink in a bar, it happens all the time.” Amelia scoffs at this.

“I heard she got absolutely hammered-”

“Amelia!”Penny scolds her. Bob turns to face the wall, attempting to hide his laugh as you lightly kick his foot. “Anyway, what brings you two here?”

“Oh you know, just pulled off on the way to grab my car. Bob mentioned they have great burgers.” You give him a sly smile, as if it was your own little secret they were the perfect hangover cure.

“That’s exactly why Amelia and I are here. Just having a little date before the bar opens later.” You force a smile as you feel Bob’s gaze on the side of your face. That jealous feeling crawls back up your throat again as you look at the mother-daughter duo. “I thought you would have left already though?” Your brows furrow, breaking you out of your trance.

“Left? For what?”

“Rooster stopped by earlier to grab something for your dad, he was heading out to his hangar earlier today. I assumed you were going with him.” You clear your throat and stare at your hands, twiddling with your thumbs to distract yourself. Your heart drops as you realize, once again, you’ve been left out.

“Um, no. I wasn’t invited.” Screw Rooster, and you know what, screw your dad, too.

“Oh, well. You are always welcome to come over if you ever need or want to.” She seems surprised at the actions of her boyfriend. You make yourself look up at her, plastering on a small smile.

“I know, thanks Penny.”

“We’ll leave you two be. Good to see you both!”

“You, too.” Bob waves at them as you look at your plate, suddenly feeling nauseous again. Your throat starts to tense up as you reach for your water. You are almost 30 for heaven's sake, you should not be jealous of Rooster and your dad. And you sure as hell aren’t going to cry over it.

“Hey-”, Bob starts but is interrupted by the waitress dropping by with the check. You pick it up immediately before Bob can reach for it. “Hey no, let me get that.” You place the check on the seat next to you as you rifle through your purse to grab your card.

“Nope, after everything you did for me last night and today I am not letting you pay.” He goes to open his mouth and you stare directly at him, “Don’t even try Bob.” Sensing the determination in your eyes and voice, he reluctantly allows you to pay.

“That’s alright, I’ll just grab the next one.” You look away as the waitress grabs the bill from you, and surprise coats your features.

“You wanna hang out again? Even after everything that happened in the past 24 hours?”

“Especially after everything. I can’t go back to being just your co-worker after seeing you vomit.” A nervous smile makes its way to his face as a more real one replaces yours. 

“You’re right, we’re friends now. And I can promise you there will be less vomit next time.”

“Can’t wait.”

After getting your card back, you and Bob make your way back to his truck and head off to the Hard Deck. You spot your lone car in the back, only a couple employee cars litter the front row. Bob pulls up right next to your car, hopping out and making sure you have everything before you leave. He even goes so far as to open your door for you as you roll your window down to say goodbye.

“Well, I guess this is me.”

“I guess it is.” He rests his hands on the open window as you grab one final look at him. You rest your elbow in between his hands, admiring his veins. Trying not to imagine tracing over them with your fingers.

“You better not ghost me at work on Monday.” You scold him. He laughs through his nose and looks down.

“I promise I won’t.”

“I’m holding you to that, Floyd. And thanks again, for everything.” He taps his fingers a couple times before leaning away.

“I trust you will, Mitchell. Drive safe.” You bid him goodbye, taking a deep breath, trying no to process everything that happened today while driving. Saving all your feelings for when you’re home alone, in the privacy of your room. The only four walls you feel safe to cry in.

Bob watches you slowly drive to the edge of the parking lot. He would have never guessed so many things that he learned about you today. The way you looked at Penny and Amelia deeply saddened him. The fact that Rooster is still being an asshole after he didn’t speak to you for 16 years angered him. After you shared that with him, he wanted to do everything in his power to make you happy. It’s obvious you’re good at putting on a mask, but Bob is good at noticing the little things. How great you are at faking happiness being one of them. And then there’s the fact that after today you’re going home to an empty house because your dad and Rooster made plans without you, yet again. 

Before he fully knows what he’s doing, his feet start moving toward your car, hoping to catch you before you leave the parking lot. It must have been the fastest he’s ever run, possibly even faster than when his older brother, Tom, chased him with a handful of cow poop. You must notice him in your rear view, as you stop and poke your head out the window.

“Is everything ok?”, you ask, concern lacing your features. Bob’s out of breath as he gets to your window, once again resting his hands in your car. And he’s still out of breath as he asks his question.

“Do you wanna get brunch tomorrow?”

Taglist:

@lemmons1998

[astrangetorpedo]

Julien Baker: Accomplish the Most with the Least

by Zachary Gresham | Photos by Nolan Knight

Julien Baker is more visible than ever. After her low-budget debut, Sprained Ankle, made nearly every best-of 2015 list, the 21-year-old Baker signed with Matador Records and went home to Memphis to record her next record at the legendary Ardent Studios. Turn Out the Lights was released in October of 2017 to massive acclaim from critics, and was met with extreme devotion from audiences. It is the rare record that one can wholeheartedly describe as both monastically spare and cinematically epic, putting her in the heady company of Tori Amos, Nina Simone, and Jeff Buckley. We caught up with Julien shortly after her return to Tennessee from a quick tour of Japan to talk about guitars, Ardent, Craig Silvey, reverb, and doing more with less.

Turn Out the Lights is really beautiful.

Oh, thank you!

I find it difficult to disconnect from it emotionally for a while after I've turned it off, which is the sign of a quality record.

That means a lot to hear. Thank you.

You made it at Ardent in Memphis, but you did your previous album, Sprained Ankle, at a studio in Virginia, right?

Yeah. Spacebomb Studios. Most of the songs on Sprained Ankle were recorded at Spacebomb, but there are two on there (two with percussion, "Vessels" and "Brittle Boned") that were recorded at Cody Landers' house. He's an incredible engineer.

Were you recording yourself before that?

When I was in high school, the band I was in [The Star Killers, later known as Forrister] put out a full-length [American Blues] album that we recorded entirely in Cody Landers' attic. We were all kids, and he took on this project because we were his friends. It was a labor of love, as well as a learning experience. We had no idea what to ask for and what sounded good. It's funny, looking back now on what we were trying to emulate.

What were you trying to emulate?

Well, Matthew [Gilliam] – the drummer and one of my closest friends – our biggest influences are probably Manchester Orchestra and Circa Survive. We wanted to sound big, bombastic, and theatrical, but with sinewy, reverb-y guitars. The other guitarist listened to Wilco, Guster, and folk-adult-rock. It ended up sounding half like Whiskeytown and half like Sunny Day Real Estate. Those are mixed very, very differently. Also, and this is true with youth, is that everything is more exaggerated. You want things as more drastic, colorful caricatures of themselves. I always wanted a 30-second reverb tail on my vocals. The guitars had to be super loud. Matthew had the biggest snare that was sold at the local music store, because everything had to be so powerful. A better way to put it is that it lacks taste or restraint. I learned so much every day, after school sitting in front of Cubase and crafting a record. Before I ever went to MTSU [Middle Tennessee State University], that's how I learned how automation works, why you track drums first, or why you don't want to put a whole bunch of reverb on the drum kit, even though it sounds cool as an idea.

You went to MTSU to study recording?

I did. I went to MTSU because they had a really notable and reputable recording industry program, but my thing was always live sound. There's an audio engineering major, and within that you can specialize in recording arts or live sound. I don't have the meticulous drive to pick apart a waveform in a DAW. I make my own demos, but they're simply for mapping out songs. I can't sit there and master forever. When I was a kid I learned how to use a PA, and then they would let me run the console at shows. I thought, "Well, I could do that. I know how to do simple circuits, so maybe I could work at a repair shop repairing guitars." I went to school to learn that, systems optimization, and building stages at festivals. But because we were all in the same program – all of my friends who were wearing their headphones around their neck and mixing at the campus Starbucks – those were the people who would say, "Hey, I have some extra studio time. Do you want to come in and record?" I think that it is important to keep yourself open to opportunities to gain experience.

You've got to get in there.

Hands-on experience taught me so much. I took so many classes on systems optimization, signal flow, and live sound mixing. But what taught me how to find my way in a live sound setting was doing sound for bands at venues. What taught me how to act, how to vocalize what I wanted, or the protocol inside a recording studio, was being able to spend that time. I think that's a good thing that MTSU gives you. There are resources on hand to take the theoretical knowledge from the classroom and apply it in a real setting. Otherwise, I couldn't have gotten to meet [engineer Michael] Hegner and do the first demos of what would eventually become Sprained Ankle. He was sitting in the library and asked, "Does anybody have a song they want to do? I've got a session in 30 minutes and no one to fill it." I was like, "Yeah."

Of course, you had to put the time into having a song.

I didn't think about that. Writing is always a compulsory thing, so I always have literally hundreds of voice memos.

Is that how you make your demos, just voice memos on the phone?

That's how I make the very first part; the writing process. If there's an idea while I'm playing guitar that I think is worthy of being explored, then I'll make a short little 1-minute voice demo and save it as "cool riff 85," or whatever. Then later it will be fleshed out as a song with placeholder lyrics. I finally took the plunge and got a real DAW. I use Logic now and I do those little MIDI things for keyboards. I can plug straight into a little one-input interface and have my actual guitar sounds from my pedalboard. Before that, I was using a straight-up 2005 Audacity program that I found. It was free. It looked awful. No hate on Audacity. But my version was so old.

It's a great program for cutting up samples.

Yeah. It's really limited. I guess that's how you learn. I was also using a Toshiba computer from 2006, because I held off for so long, saying, "I'm not going to buy a computer. This one works fine." It's so hard for me to give in and upgrade my gear, because I get used to working within the parameters I've become familiar with.

From that perspective, let's talk about going to Ardent Studios. Listening to the record for the first time, I kept waiting for the gigantic production to kick in. Almost all the songs have a moment where I thought, "Here it comes." But it never does.

It's really interesting to me that you say that. I felt self-conscious in the opposite way. I thought, "There're eight vocal tracks and strings, and my buddy's playing clarinet. This is so much." By comparison, it's much more expansive than Sprained Ankle. I was worried. I had this oxymoronic fear that it would be too similar to my past material and also too different, but not in the right ways. I wanted to have it be very dramatic – and have the parts that seem like soaring ballad climaxes – because I'm a sucker for that kind of dynamic. I think it's very emotive. But I also wanted to be careful that I didn't take so much of a maximalist approach that I weighed the song down, or it got to this critical mass where there's too much going on.

That's an incredibly mature perspective. I don't mean this because you're a younger person, but just in general. There are people who never get there.

Thank you. I'm going to acknowledge your compliment; I didn't take it as a thing about my age. But I agree. I think that restraint is such an important skill in music. For a long time when I was playing guitar in a band – and I think this had a lot to do with my insecurities about being a female in a male-dominated scene – but every time we played a show, I had to rip a crazy solo so that everybody knew I was "good." Still, one of my primary lurking fears about performing the material that I have today is that if I have a song that's three chords of quarter notes, everybody's going to be bored and put to sleep. But that's the challenge. Restraint is such an important thing. Just because you have every single color in your palette doesn't mean that every single color serves the painting. I think there are artists where the maximalist approach serves them well. When you think about a Bruce Springsteen record, like Born to Run. Or have you listened to Kimbra?

Yeah. A lot going on there.

Or St. Vincent. There are so many sounds; it's insane. But I think the challenge with my music is figuring out how to make it interesting while still leaving it pretty sparse. It's an interesting interplay. How many points of dynamic can you introduce into the song, as subtly as possible?

Do you go into recording feeling like you're going to do what you do live, but with a little extra?

There was this reciprocal relationship between the live and the recorded for this record. Another thing I wanted was not to say, "I don't know how I'm going to pull this off live, so I'm not going to explore this possibility." Now I do the weird play-guitar-and-piano-at-the-same-time. I decided if I wanted to have clarinet in there, then it'd be worth it to add clarinet. I think I was a lot more particular about the instrumentation on this record because I knew that it would be received in a different way. With Sprained Ankle, I was recording the songs as they had formed in my free time, using my looping pedal or whatever. With these songs, I sat down with a spiral [notebook] and mapped them out. I thought, "This song is tedious. What small embellishment can I add that will change the song enough to re-focus the listener's interest, without detracting or obscuring the totality of the song?" One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten was from Josh Scogin [of bands The Chariot and '68]. We were at a show, and we were talking about how The Chariot's records are so interesting. They'll have this incredibly heavy breakdown, but it'll be free with no time signature at all. Or the song will completely stop and then something from Atlanta AM radio will play, and then the song will pick back up. "How do you know to do that? Is it just a novelty, or what?" Josh said, "I think you have to think of what will make people back up the track because they missed a thing." You don't want to make a song that goes on in a predictable fashion without introducing new elements.

You got an incredible guitar sound on the record. You tour with a [Fender] Twin and Deluxe, right?

Yes. We recorded a lot of Turn Out the Lights on my little 1x12 Deluxe, but I also have a 2x12 Blues Deluxe that I took the speakers out of and replaced with Warehouse guitar speakers called Veteran 30s. I got the higher-wattage option because there's way more gain room before it breaks up. My one gripe about Fender amps is that they break up too soon.

By design. A lot of people want blues.

Exactly. I get it. With the Twin, it's fine. It's a really sparkly break up. The Deluxe amps, I like the warmness of them. But when you start to break up such a warm, midrange-y amp, it gets fuzzy really quickly. I really like those speakers in that amp. I use so many of my instruments partly because they sound the way I want them to, but also partly because it took so much work for me to get them to sound the way they do that maybe my goal and my ability met in the middle. Especially with the wiring. I have a [Fender] Telecaster that I modded, and it took so long for me to figure that out when I was 18, trying to read a circuit diagram on how to get your pickups to go in series or parallel, and add that little option with the 4-switcher. Once I finally did it, I was like, "This is what I want, for sure." Whether or not it was what I was going for, I was so committed to doing it.

Do you go back and forth between series and parallel?

No. I have the blue guitar, it's a Mexican-made Tele, and then I have an American Tele, which is the butterscotch one. I leave it on series all the time. You have to put aftermarket pickups in Fender guitars. The Telecaster has the plucky clarity that I like; but I think everybody plays them so hot and bright, because that's the Nashville sound. I thought of Telecasters as country music guitars until I saw Now, Now and Circa Survive on tour. Both the guitarists were playing Telecasters. I was like, "What is happening? How are you guys getting this sound out of a Telecaster?" Then I used my next paycheck to buy a Mexican Tele. I love it.

Were you using Fender amps already?

Yeah. The first amp that I used was this Vox digital combo that was bad news. Well, it wasn't bad news, because I think those amps that have the effects built-in are good for learning. I wasn't playing big shows, so why would I need a $700 amp? The first real amp I bought was the Fender I replaced the speakers in. I had it for a really long time. Then I bought the 1x12 on tour when the tubes of my other amp broke, and now I play through stereo amps. It's interesting that the idea to do that never occurred to me, even though I had two amps on hand. Even on Sprained Ankle, I played through one amp.

You use so much reverb and delay, it's perfect for what you're doing.

Sometimes we'll be at a festival and I'll play through one amp. The way that my looping system is totally jury-rigged, I can use it into the first and second channels on a Fender amp.

It's a wonderful, underused feature, having the two channels on those amps.

It is. So much of my musical knowledge is very de facto and functional, and it doesn't result in a logical understanding of the mechanisms I'm using. On my Deluxe, there're two input jacks. I'd say, "Oh, I always plug into input 2 because it sounds different, and I like that sound." I didn't know until October of 2017 that one of them is high gain and one of them is lower gain. I had no idea. It sounded different. Now I have two A-B-C-Y splitters on my board; I send out from those two channels a dry channel and a reverb channel on one amp, and then yet a third reverb channel into a different amp.

Is the reverb channel 100 percent saturated?

It's all the way on, all the time. The dry channel is there in case the two stereo outs of my looper go off, because I'm paranoid about my loop breaking and there being no safety net for me to play through. I was not always that wise. I have been brought low by humiliation, the great teacher. Now I have one fail-safe channel. The rest of my loops come out on different outputs.

Do you use the amp reverb?

I used to have it pulled up to quarter to two almost all the time, but now I like the flat character of the amp enough, and I have three or four different reverbs. The Strymon blueSky is always on. I forget that I have it on my board, because it stays on. It's the staple of my tone.

I read that you used a [Neumann] U 67 for recording your voice. Is that right?

Yeah.

Did you do a shootout, or did you know going in you wanted a 67?

We tried out that mic because Calvin Lauber, engineer for Turn Out the Lights] suggested it. On Sprained Ankle, I recorded part of it on a [Shure] SM7B. We used a couple of different microphones on that one. I don't remember what the other one was. With the Neumann, I'm very reluctant to use mics with so much crispness, because I think my voice has a tendency to get really nitty and bland.

I respectfully disagree, but go on.

Well, okay. Maybe I'm hyper-critical of my voice. But that vocal mic sounded really nice, especially in the room. Once we started tracking with that, I was like, "Yeah, I'm really, really happy with this vocal sound." It's an incredible microphone. It sounds like it's capturing what's happening to your ears with intense clarity. Whenever I make my little Logic demos, I go in there and notch out 2.5 to 3 kHz, because it sounds really annoying. When I started singing in a band, I wanted the vocals to be pushed all the way to the back and ‘verbed out. I was self-conscious about my voice. I never really wanted to be a singer. I wanted to play guitar. Then our first show came up, and we didn't have a lead singer, so I said, "I'll sing until we find a singer." Then I became the singer. Every single time we performed live, someone would say, "That was really good. You should sing louder!"

Did you try to change the way you sing?

By the time The Star Killers had been a band for a while, I would do the shouty scream thing. But then that became a gimmick of my voice. It was atonal. It was less about the pitch and more about the intensity and having the gang vocals part where everybody sings along. It took touring for a while as a solo musician for me to become completely comfortable with my voice as an instrument. That was also probably because I still smoked at the time we recorded Sprained Ankle. Singing was really taxing on my voice. When I had not smoked for a little over a week, the way that my vocal control and the timbre of my voice changed was amazing. I thought, "This cannot be real." That made me much more confident, and it made me take singing seriously. My voice was no longer just a vehicle for poetry that I was using to "Leonard Cohen" out my lyrics. I think that's also what made recording this record a lot different. I was more ambitious with what I could do.

How long did you have at Ardent Studios?

I booked out six days, intentionally. We ended up staying there 12 hours a day. Time flies when you're in the studio, because it's fun, and exciting, and interesting. I think I limited it that way because of that fear of overproducing the record. If I gave myself too much time, I would fall into a paralysis of option anxiety. In hindsight it might have been good to have a deadline, but also take a rest. Record for a week, take a month off, let the tracks sit, and then come back with fresh ears. Maybe I was over-restrained, like I was overcompensating for my fear of overproducing.

It sounds like discipline is a huge part of your whole process.

Oh, definitely. I talk about this with so many of my friends in music. This land of words like discipline, motivation, and obsession are all fluidly bound. For any of the players on the record, like Cam [Boucher] from Sorority Noise, or Camille [Faulkner], who tours with me, the way that those people interact with music is almost obsessive, but in a way that drives them to be the most optimal players they can be. Not in a competitive way. I really don't think that trying to be the best you can be means that you have to be obsessed with being the best musician out there, or being superior.

It's its own reward.

Exactly. I think the fact you say that discipline is a huge part of the record is because maybe it wasn't that I had to apply an effort to sit down and map out the songs in a spiral notebook, or think about them and listen to them over, and over again. It's what preoccupies my mind all the time, so the only way to abate the anxiety of creating is to be engaged with it. But, at the same time, that's why I only wanted to book out six days. It's really important to get a great raw sound. We did a lot of setting levels for what would basically be how the record sounded.

It's a huge advantage not to "fix it in post."

Exactly! Get it right the first time. This thing that Calvin and I would say to each other all the time is, "It's worth it." When I would record a vocal track and it was almost what I wanted, and I felt I could live with it, we could nudge a note, or we could comp it. But I had the time. I'm not flying out to L.A. to do a two-hour recording session and we have to comp it. We had the time to get it right, and it's worth it. We ended up tracking a whole bunch of weird piano, guitar, and keyboard tracks that didn't make it on the record. But what if it had been awesome? It's worth it. When you start with good ingredients and you do less work on the back-end to try to wrangle it into sounding good, it's so much easier. And it sounds very pure and more organic, because I think you can tell when a song has had to be manipulated.

You can. It's almost never going to be as good as it would have been.

Exactly. There are so many great records that are tracked live. That's how recording used to be. Now I'm going to sound like one of those people who thinks that antiquated methods of recording are the only way and swears by tape only. No, there are amazing things we can use Pro Tools for. But I think the ethos of old-school recording is getting a great live sound. I watched a documentary about Tom Dowd [Tom Dowd & The Language of Music]. He plays the faders like a keyboard. It's so cool. Whenever I watch those documentaries, I'm amazed at that process, because it's happening to those people in real time; it's just their job. They have this very colloquial relationship with the music. Chilling out with Aretha Franklin and not knowing that it would change history. What I think you glean from those is not that it was better in the past, and we should only record to tape, and only use old vintage equipment. I think the process is that you should be able to accomplish the most with the least. You should know how to utilize a room, or you should know when it's enough. I think sometimes the necessity of having only four tracks, or having only eight channels, or what have you, makes you be more discerning. The options aren't endless. The time is not endless. You make a leaner, refined version.

Craig Silvey mixed Turn Out the Lights?

Yeah. We had a mixing day with Calvin; then he and I shot some mixes back and forth. I had very specific things I wanted out of the mix. It was really observable what Craig changed, but he didn't necessarily remove or add anything. I was amazed at how much he was able to add to the tracks. I think the people we involved on the record were all ones we wanted to use, either because of their prior work, or our prior history with them, indicated that they know how to be tasteful. Especially with Craig Silvey. I knew a few of the notable records that he had done, like Arcade Fire, but when I started to look at the breadth of the work he had been a part of, it was amazing.

Did you choose Craig, or did Matador say they wanted him?

Matador brought the idea. I was reluctant because I wanted the least tampering. They said, "We have this guy we think you'd really like. Give it a chance." I'll give anything a chance; but if I didn't like it, I was ready to say, "No." We sent a test mix, and when I got it back, I was like, "We should have the record mixed by this guy." It was ultimately a collaborative effort between Calvin being so personal and central to my life as a person and a friend, and knowing what I wanted, as well as Craig's expertise and impeccable ear. It made for a really special thing.

(link)

[skyteller143]

TILL DEATH DO US PART (1) • C.STURNIOLO

PARTS: 2 / 3

warnings: swearing, school😔💔

authors note: kinda shit but yk it gets better js stick around

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summary: the most popular girl in school being known as a goody-too-shoes and the captain of the schools hockey team end up sitting with each other in class, she hates him and he hates her. until one day everything changes.

but remember, not every story has a happy ending.

enjoyyy

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People wish to be popular. They wish for the crazy parties and all the “friends” that comes with it. But this makes me wonder do they wish for the secrets that are kept, do they wish for the bitchy glances that you get given simply because you walked past. do they wish for the eyes that are always on them.

But it’s clear that they don’t care about that. they care about the attention and so called fame that they desire so desperately they’d practically trade their soul for it.

it’s the first day back from summer break and i woke up at practically sunrise just to make sure that the stares aren’t as judgemental. doing my hair and makeup, picking out about 5 outfits before finding a good one. gosh sometimes i wish i could trade lives with someone who wasn’t a cheerleader and i could go to school wearing sweatpants, not worrying about being watched.

my outfit was a skimpy black skirt matched with a white crop top and a black puffy jacket. i straightened my hair and did my normal makeup.

since it was the first day back my schedule had changed meaning i was in all new classes. great.

when i got to school i met up with my best friend ivy and we caught up about what happened over the summer.

“yeah and then vacation boy asked for my snap” ivy rambled on “butttt i had to turn him down because he was like 25 but he was so fine” she giggled leaning on me a little as we stood at our lockers. Me and ivy had been friends since middle school we always had our lockers next to each other. well that was until this year.

“oh our lockers are one apart” ivy mumbled opening her locker. “huh” i looked down at the paper i had been given “oh”.

“bummer i wonder who is gonna be our locker buddy this year, maybe they could like be our new best friend!” she jumped excitedly. “yeah maybe” i laughed at her, she looked like a kid in a candy store. “ok we’ll i gotta get going meet me here at lunch” she walked backwards facing me for my reply. “yep! of course” i laughed.

i reached into my bag getting out a few books and pictures to put in my locker. when i was finished i headed to class. i sat in the back corner and put my headphones in. it’s too early for this. i made sure to sit by myself so i wouldn’t have to deal with some weirdo yapping my ear off for an hour and forty minutes. since it was the first lesson we were just meant to be meeting new people and interacting. however i already knew everyone in here so what’s the point?

about five minutes in everyone had stopped talking and the teacher was explaining what we would be doing this year when the door swung open and some boy walked in. i honestly couldn’t care less who he was so i continued jotting down notes when he sat down. next to me. i looked up to see who it was and rolled my eyes. of course the captain of the hockey team decided ‘oh yeah let’s sit right next to the only cheerleader in the room, she’ll love that.’

he huffed as he leant in his seat, crossing his arms. i looked at him to see he looked pissed off and i noticed that every other seat was full. oh.

i turned my music up and just kept to myself when he taps my shoulder. “what you listening to?” he asks. “music” i reply dryly hoping he’d just leave me alone. “no wayyy” he smirks “let me listen” he puts his hand out as if i’m a dog.

“first off, no. second off why would i share with you i don’t even know you” i rolled my eyes. “oh princess everyone knows me and you definitely do being cheer captain and all” he smirks at me. “oh yeah Chris i’m in love with you here have my airpod” i say sarcastically “oh come on just give it” he begs like a child, “i know you secretly love me” he laughs. “the only thing i know is that your ego is bigger then you dick baby” i pout at him and out my airpod back in. that shut him up.

after class i went back to my locker to meet ivy and i see that our new locker buddy is there. “hey” i call out to see who it was. “what do you want” they reply.

you’ve gotta be kidding me.

“why are you just standing there looking like an idiot, did you want something?” he asked clearly still annoyed about earlier. “no i was going to my locker” i mumble.

after about like 30 seconds of silence i speak up. “soo, this your locker?” what a stupid question.

“noo, i’m just putting my stuff in here for someone else” he reply’s sarcastically.

“jeez don’t get your titties in a twist, was just asking” i laugh slightly trying to ease some tension.

he slams his locker door and leans down so he’s closer to my face. “at least i have some” he smiles and walks away.

cunt.

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feisty

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taglist (if you wanna be added js comment and i’ll add you): @lacysturniolo @breeloveschris

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[dearabby1990]

Chapter 35: Best friends day out

You’re finally done drying your hair & add a little makeup just to brighten up your face a bit & spray some of your favorite perfume. Heading downstairs towards the living room you noticed how oddly quiet it is for a house full of guys only to be met with gareth relaxing on the sofa watching Miami vice he notices you & sits up “hey goober the others went out shopping for god knows what you know how Eddie gets when he wants something so I figured I’d stay behind maybe we could have a best buds day beings it’s been awhile since we hung out just us two figured we could grab a bite & hit the record store or something” you smile and plop on the sofa next to him “sounds good fluff & stuff” you giggle & toss him your car keys & you barely let anyone drive your baby it’s a 1961 Chevy bel air not as spiffy as the one you all had for prom but still you cherish it beings it was your moms car putting lots of love & care into it replacing parts with Eddie’s help & she just got a new paint job as a gift from your love he knows how much you love light purple so he went ahead & had jimmy paint it all for you. “Really?! I can drive Paula?! Sweet!!” You laugh and you both take off to the car “man this is so fuckin cool jame!” He starts up the engine & the radio pops on you dig through your cassettes & pull out Billy Squire & show it to him “oh fuck yeah pop it in!” “Alright this is gonna be the best day ever!” My kinda lover comes on & you & gareth are singing & using your bottle of cola as a microphone laughing having a ball “oh I have an idea gare bear watch this” you flip the switch to drop the top and his eyes bulge from his head “no fuckin way this is so bad ass!” You both have the wind in your hair & not a care in the world your glad you got to spend time with gareth you both haven’t had fun like this since middle school. He pulls into the parking lot & you notice he took you to your old fave spot his parents would take you guys here before the end of the camping trips before your parents would pick you up. An old 50’s style malt shop with the best milkshakes & burgers Indiana had to offer waitresses on roller skates 🛼 glide up to your car with a note pad & pen “welcome to Marybeth’s malt shop my name is Dolores I’ll be your server what can I get for y’all this fine afternoon?” She says with a megawatt smile teal dress white apron pink skates blonde hair in a high ponytail chewing gum gareth knows me well enough to where he knows what I always get so he orders for us both “yes can we get 2 bacon cheeseburgers an order of cheese fries & 2 black cows” (old school drink gross but very popular it’s cola & ice cream like a root beer float) “sure hun anything else for you & your lovely lady?” “Oh we’re just best friends but that’s all thanks” she winks at gareth “I’ll be right out with your drinks” she skates off. You start laughing hysterically “WHAT?!” He’s confused as to why you think something is so funny “she was totally checking you out man as soon as you said we’re friends her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree” you start laughing again “bullshit she’s just being nice it’s her job!” You try to calm you laughing for a minute “okay we’ll see about that” he turns to you “what does that mean?” “Ohh you’ll see” she comes skating back with your drinks “here you both go here’s some straws is there anything else I can get you both?” You look at gareth and smirk “actually Dolores my friend here has an extra ticket to guns & roses & needs a date & you’re so beautiful maybe you two can go together hed need your number though” his face is red he looks like he wants to kill you “really?! Yes I’d love that!” She scribbles down her number and hands it to gareth and skates back off into the restaurant “how the fuck & I don’t have an extra ticket to shit Jamie what the hell?!” You pull out an envelope & pass it to him “this was supposed to be a part of your graduation gift but I can see you need it now more then later” he rips it open to pull out two front row center seats to guns & roses & flies across the gears to engulf you into a hug.

You both eat your lunch talking of ideas of what to look for in the record store. “I still can’t believe this shit what a day & it’s only the damn afternoon not only did I get a date but I have tickets to the hottest concert in Hawkins this month thanks to you jame thanks for hanging with me today” he nudges into your shoulder you chuckle “no problem fluff & stuff but let’s hurry I have to get something for Eddie at the record store as part of his graduation gift OH! Before I forget I wanna throw a graduation party for Eddie & hellfire but I want to surprise him you think you guys could help me out?” “You don’t have to tell me twice I’m here for whatever ya need”. Pulling into a parking spot you both bolt into the record store grabbing the new Iron Maiden album for Eddie knowing he’s been wanting it for quite some time. Gareth finding all he was looking for “so what else did you get him for graduation?” You smirk at him “well… I was gonna keep this a complete secret but since I know you’re good at not spilling the beans I’ll tell you since it involves us all.. so I have an account from when mom passed I haven’t touched a red cent at all I have it for future decisions but I wanted to splurge a little so I went ahead & got us all tickets to fly out to Detroit for a few days not only to go on a trip but two concerts I got us all tickets to see Kiss & 6 days after that we go see… METALLICA!!” His eyes bug out of his head “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!” He’s swinging you around the store almost taking out a whole display you’re cracking up. “I love ya too gare bear but remember secret!” He nods like a mad man “my lips are sealed promise.. oh man this is gonna be so fucking cool!!” You both head to check out it’s almost dinner time you’ll have to head back to start cooking sundown isn’t too far away. Hopping in the car you & gareth had a ball & have to try and make time for all your friends from now on.

[idontknowanametouse]

MLB rewrite AU. Chapter 4: Dark Cupid

(Dark Cupid redesign inspiration @crimsonmonsoon)

-

Kim takes a deep breath, checking once again the ring he bought for Ondine. It's silver, with a small (fake) pearl on top and bluish details. She saw it in a store one day and loved it, but they were out of money at the time and she said to let it go. For today, he needs everything to be perfect, so it's better to give her something she already said she likes than to risk something else, right?

-Kim, how are you? – asks his Bô´, noticing his nervousness.

-Ah, yes, yes!! It's just… I'm going to ask a girl to be my girlfriend and… I just want everything to work out!!

-It's Ondine, right? – his dad smiled.

-…how did you know?

-You've only talked about her since you met, Kim. You don't need to be a genius to understand this.

-I noticed and told him. It'll be fine, son, don't worry. Then tell us how it was.

-And take her to get some ice cream!

–

Ondine arrives at class anxious, jumping up and down. Her best (and only) friend asks:

-Ondine-chan, what happened?

-Ah, hi, Kagami!! It's just… remember the boy I told you I liked, Kim? The athlete!

-I remember, yes, why?

-He asked me out today, on the Pont des Arts! I'm excited, I think he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend!! – the scholarship holder gives another little jump of happiness.

-Good, I'm happy for you. What time will it be?

-Two!

-Just know that if he hurts you, I will kill him.

-No, don't do that!

-Alright, but just ask me and he will never be seen again.

–

-Can I ask you something? – Adrien says, sitting next to Nino.

-Of course, dude! What is it?

-It's something I've been asking myself since I met you. What botton is that on your backpack? – and points out the one.

-It's the non-binary flag, dude.

-Non-binary flag? What is that?

-Non-binary is a gender identity under the umbrella of the trans spectrum that includes any identity that is not one hundred percent within the binary of completely male or completely female.

-So… you mean… you're neither a man nor a woman?

-Uhm. I use pronouns he/him and they/them, these are the ones I like.

-Wait… – Adrien stops, his eyes, for the first time since Nino met him, wide. – Can you not be a man and also not be a woman?!

-Yes.

Adrien's jaw drops.

-And you can be called in a way that doesn't sound feminine or masculine?!

-Yes.

-I… I… – and he stops, in shock. – Nino, I think I'm non-binary.

-Really?

-And I really like the pronouns they/them.

-Nice, dude! – and gives a high five.

Adrien smiles. They feel good about themself.

–

-Hey, Adrien! – Marinette says during the break. - How are you doing?

-Good, and you?

-Oh, I'm nervous about something, sorry, so I'll say it right away! – they exclaim, and hands them something. When they open their fingers, there is a ladybug botton there. – I made some friendship buttons for us!! Look at mine!! – and points to the suspenders, on which there is a black button with a green cat paw symbol. – This way, we always remember each other!!

-…thank you very much, Marinette! – and smiles. – Oh, I found out I’m non-binary! I use they/them pronouns!

-Ah cool! I'm trans too, and I use she/her and they/them pronouns!

Following Nino's example, Adrien raises their fist for a punch. Marinette does.

–

-Okay, Max, are you sure it's going to work? – Kim asks in front of the school, at the end of class.

-It will, I calculated this four times with different circumstances to make sure it will work.

-What is it? – Marinette asks, getting into the middle of the conversation and dragging Adrien behind her. Since it's only been three weeks since classes started, they don't know people very well yet, and Nino and Marinette have been trying to start their friendships with other people, since Chloé barely talks to anyone other than Adrien or Sabrina.

-Ah, hi, Mari! I'm going out with a girl today!

-It better be Ondine. – Marinette turns very serious.

-Wait, do you know each other?!

-We met at that swimming competition of yours.

-Oh, yeah…

-But Kim is not dating her yet, he is going to ask her to be his girlfriend today.

-Max!!

-Everything will be fine, Kim! Do not worry! – Marinette says, smiling at him. Adrien, behind her and without saying anything, gives him a thumbs up.

-Go now, otherwise you will be late at the Pont des Arts!! – exclaimed Max.

-Thank you guys!! – Kim thanks him, and runs away.

-…he's cool. – Adrien smiles a little.

-Yes, he is!! Chloé is calling you, right? See you tomorrow!

-See ya… – however, they stop. – Huh… where's Chloé? – and look at the message. She had said she couldn't take them today, as she was going to be at the Pont des Arts. - …Oh no.

–

Kim leans on the edge of the bridge, anxious, and then is startled when she appears at his side.

-Hey you!

-Ah! Oh, it's you, Chloé?

-You're in my class, aren't you? Kevin?

-Kim.

-Yeah, that's it, whatever. What are you doing?

-Not that it's any of your business, but I'm waiting for a girl.

-A girl? – and sees the box in his hand. – Are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend? Oh, my dear, this won't work…

-Oh yeah? And may I know why? – he grumbles, already irritated.

-To begin with, you're a bit ugly, you're dressed like you've just left the gym, you're sweaty, stinky, and besides… - and she picks up the box, and, upon opening it, pushes it back to his hands. – My God, what an ugly ring!! No girl would want to be with you that way, wake up and try to improve all of this before asking anyone to be your girlfriend!!

-What the hell are you talking about…?!

-Kim?

The boy freezes when he hears her voice. No, please don't… But when he turns around, she is really there. And her eyes are watery.

-Ondine!! Ondine, this is not what it seems…! – he tries to explain, however, she puts one hand to her heart, another to her face and runs away.

He tries to run after her, he really does, but she is faster. And in the end, at the end of the bridge, he watches the girl he loves so much leave with a broken heart, along with any chance he might have had with her.

–

Marinette receives Alya's call not long after class ended.

-Look at my blog!!

-What? Why?

-Just look!

That's when she opens the blog.

-…Porra.

-You saw it, right? Don't leave the house!!!

-Wait, what are you doing out there recording, then?!

-Do what I say, but don't do what I do!!

-Get out of there!!

However, Alya just hangs up on her and Marinette growls a little in anger. She turns her attention to the video on the blog. The dark, winged and large figure is not very distinct in the image, shooting something similar to black beams that she can't quite see what it is either, but it is obviously an akuma, because now, with Paris the way it is, what else it could be? Even more so because it’s on Ladyblog, under the caption “dark cupid”.

The girl transforms, frustrated, and goes to the place where Alya is apparently recording.

–

He looks like an emo album cover.

It is Marinette's first thought as soon as she sees him. The large black angel wings, the eye band, the black jacket, shirt and pants, complemented by the fact that he is barefoot. And, of course, she is obviously a little terrified that this is clearly Kim.

What happened? Why is he an akuma? The only plausible explanation would be that he was rejected by Ondine, but he would have to have made a phenomenally big mess for it to have gone so wrong for him to become an akuma.

Trying to get herself to focus on the current situation again, she tries to see what those arrows of his were doing, but she can't see from the angle she is at, but whatever it is, it can't be good. That's when she throws the yo-yo, which wraps around the villain's arm.

She starts to think about whether she should stop using this technique, since this is the second time that the villain is stronger than her, throws her away using the yo-yo string and laughs at her as she flies through the sky.

-How are you, my lady? – Chat Noir smiles, holding her by the arm and preventing her from falling to the ground.

-Ah… hi, Chat… – and, retrieving the yo-yo, they climb onto the roof where they were. - Thanks.

-No problem, that's what I'm here for.

-To stop me from falling off buildings?

-For anything. Where is the villain?

-I think coming after us, he… – however, she stops when she sees, for a moment, just one, Chat Noir's eyes wide. And, in the next second, they grab her and jump to the ground, as if protecting her, and she only has time to see the akuma's arrow dissolving against Chat Noir's back. – Chat Noir!! No!!!

-Ladybug… – they murmur, panting, their voice suddenly weak. – …you are my… my… my worst curse!

-What?! What did he do?! Chat Noir, stop that!! – she exclaims, trying to push them away, but they hold her tighter against them.

-You are the person I hate the most in theisworld, Ladybug!! You are nothing, not to me, nor to anyone!!!

In a panic, afraid of what Chat Noir might do, they bite them on the shoulder, making the cat miraculous move away a little and she has room to push them a little and kick their stomach, managing to free herself and get out of there, playing her yo-yo away.

When Ladybug finds herself alone in the middle of an alley, it takes her a minute to calm down. Okay, okay, okay. What should she do now? Chat Noir, after being hit by the akuma, apparently started to hate her. This makes several options of things that could go wrong come to hwe mind: she could be shot by an arrow, Chat Noir could kill or capture her, Dark Cupid could kill or capture her, they could both team up to corner her, she could…

Her train of thought is broken when she narrowly dodges one of Chat Noir's crutches.

-Chat Noir, stop!! I don't want to fight you!! – and throws the yo-yo to another roof, heading away from there. She doesn't know if she would even be able to beat them in a fight, since they were physically stronger than her.

-Aww, what a shame, is the ladybug afraid of being swallowed by the cat? How did your kwami ​​choose you, anyway? – and raises one of the crutches towards her, which she deflects, and leans on the other.

-Have you even stopped to listen to yourself?! You look like a fucking incel! Just yesterday you were talking about that anime movie where you cried because of the power of friendship in it and… – and she stops trying to move away. – Lä shî. I… I'm really going to have to do this… CAT, COME HERE!!

-Wait, what? – Chat Noir mutters, then widening their eyes and running away. - What's that?! Get out, you savage!!!

-COME HERE AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE!!! – and, chasing them through Paris, they throw the yo-yo and manage to tie up their body, keeping them hanging over a post, like a pulley.

-No, no, no!!! – Chat exclaims, trying to get away from her.

-Ok, I don't know how to do this. Should I hug you or something? I don't know what people consider an act of friendship or what you would consider or… – suddenly, she is cut by an arrow that almost hits her, taking her away from Chat Noir. - Caralho! Mas que pau no cu!

She moves away, pulling out her yo-yo and freeing Chat Noir, letting them fall to the ground. Ladybug runs from Dark Cupid, who shouts:

-Chat Noir!! Come!!

-I'm going!!

Shit. So they actually ganged up on her. Ladybug calls out the lucky charm, becoming confused when she sees a manga volume. When she sees herself being chased by the two incels, she leafs through the manga in her hands as she runs, trying not to trip, avoid her pursuers and think about what that talisman is for at the same time.

That is when Ladybug notices that this is the manga that originated the film that Adrien talked about yesterday. And, when she skips to the end of the volume, she sees how the best friend let themself be hit for the other, and how, however, they didn't die, because they had chosen to sacrifice themself for someone they loved.

At that moment, she falls to the ground with something on her back knocking her down hard, and her body turns upwards abruptly. Chat Noir stands over her, a hand hovering over her chest as the dark energy she recognizes as the cataclysm envelops it. Their canine teeth are bared in a macabre smile, drool running down them and landing near her face. She hears Dark Cupid saying that, if they kill her, they must bring him the body so he would take it to Hawk Moth so that he can absorb their kwami.

Fear fills her heart. The lucky charm should certainly bring her a solution, but the only one she can see will almost certainly end with her dead.

The lucky charm wouldn't kill me. Chat Noir will return. They need to.

-CHAT NOIR, YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I TRUST YOU!!! – and, grabbing their arm, pushes the cat's hand towards their chest, cataclysms their own heart.

The girl howls in pain as she feels the destructive power being pumped through her body and distributed throughout all her cells, making her almost wish she would die all at once so she wouldn't have to feel such pain inside her. Her tightly closed eyes release involuntary tears, and she feels small drops falling over them.

When she opens them, she looks at Chat Noir's face, with an expression of pure shock and their eyes watering, muttering at what they had done:

-No, no…

-Chat… you're back… – she sighs with relief, and uses the little strength she has in her deteriorated lungs and throat to scream: – IT'S THE RING!! IT'S IN THE RING!! I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL, JUST GO THERE!!

-O-okay… okay!! OK!! – and jumps on top of Dark Cupid. There are some banging sounds, until Chat shouts: – I BROKE THE RING!!

Seeing the white butterfly approach her, still lying down, Ladybug feels like she is going to faint as she throws the luck charm up to use miraculous ladybug. As soon as the magical ladybugs touch her, however, all the pain disappears and she is able to stand up with the same ease as before. Sighing in relief, she runs up to Chat Noir and Kim, and asks:

-Is he ok?!

-I think so…? Hey, man, are you okay? – asks Chat.

Kim then, looking a little confused, looks at the two of them, and his eyes start to water and he bites his bottom lip. Ladybug saw that expression before. He really, really wants to cry.

-Oh my God!! What happened?! Why do you want to cry?! Is there anything I can do to help you?! – she asks, panicking a little because she doesn't know if she should help so much because she's Ladybug at that moment.

-The girl I like now hates me!! There was a big mess and she must never want to look me in the face again!!!

-Kim? – murmurs a voice. The three turn in that direction and see Ondine, timidly entering the street that they ended up unintentionally emptying when they took the fight to there.

-Ondine!! You have to listen to me!!! I swear it was a misunderstanding! – he runs towards her.

-Who is this? – Chat Noir whispers in Ladybug's ear.

-His swimming buddy. You know, the girl he likes.

-I saw the akuma on the ladyblog and he looked just like you, so I ran here… I thought that, as you turned into an akuma right after that happened on the bridge, there must have been something that I didn't understand…?

-I think we can leave them alone, because I want to talk to you about something. – says Ladybug.

-Okay, I also wanted to talk to you. Where are we going?

-My home. I think I'll detransform soon.

-Alright.

As soon as they find themselves on the roof of Marinette's house and she detransforms, she turns around, looking very angry with them, and exclaims:

-What the hell was that?!

-What?! What are you talking about?

-Why did you throw yourself in front of the arrow to protect me?! You could have just gotten me out of the way or whatever!! You didn't know what was going to happen to you! We can't keep sacrificing ourselves for each other, my miraculous ladybug doesn't resurrect people and we don't always know what a villain is going to do to us!!

-But you also sacrificed yourself!! You pushed my cataclysm straight to your chest!! Do you have any idea that you could have died?! I really could have killed you!! I thought I killed you!

-But I didn't die, right?!

-That's not the point!! You didn't know you weren't going to die!

-Yes, but the lucky charm showed that that was the only way out, so I knew I would somehow be able to use the miraculous ladybug later to solve this!! And you, why did you sacrifice yourself?! Why did you throw yourself in front of that arrow for me instead of just pulling me away?! Huh?! Huh?!

-I… I don't know, I didn't actually think at the time! I didn't realize I could pull you away! Besides, I thought that… that…

-That what?!

-I don't know, it would be better for me to be hit than you!! I'm not good in this superhero thing, have you noticed?! I don't know how to make plans, I can't fix things, I don't have a way to always win somehow, you're much better at this than me!!!

-ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I wouldn't have been able to make those plans if it weren't for you! Two weeks ago, I couldn't do anything against Stormyweather and you were the one who saved everyone! We are partners, we have to do things together because NONE OF US IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER!! Never say again that you are worse than me or that it would be better for you to be hit than me!!!

-…alright. Sorry. I'll try not to do that again. If I do, it won't be intentional, I promise.

-OK. I'm sorry I made you think you killed me. Let's agree to never again sacrifice ourselves for each other without doing it in a way that we know is strictly necessary for our victory and know that everything will work out and return to normal in the end. Promise?

-Promise.

-Pinky promise? – and extended his own.

-Pinky promise. You are one of my best friends.

Chat Noir leaves Marinette's rooftop.

–

-…this is weird.

-Why? – asks Plagg in his human form.

-You, here, in my room.

-I'm your new social worker, kid. It's a completely plausible reason for us to spend time together.

-Yeah, the fact that you are a primordial god of destruction, my kwami ​​and my social worker is what is strange.

-At least, I can keep an eye in that shit father of yours.

-Hey, father is not that bad.

-Whatever you say, kid. – and turns into a cat. – But seriously, do you like her?

-Holy hell, you don't speak but the meaning enters my head! That's bizarre! – Adrien feels a shiver. – Wait, what? Like who?

-Marinette, obviously!

-What? No! She's just my friend!

-I was thinking about the whole thing today, that guy turned love into hate… you love her, don't you?

-Yes, but it's not romantic!

-Hmmmm… – and looks at them with very narrow eyes. Then they walk away. – As you wish, kitten. Where is the camembert cheese?

–

-Do you like someone romantically? – asks Tikki, in her ladybug form next to Marinette on the rooftop, at that night.

-I do not think so.

-Not even Adrien?

-What, Adrien? They are amazing and all, but we're just friends. There's nothing much about us.

-You need a strong connection with a person to be able to do what you did today, and I've never seen such strong trust in such a recent friendship.

-Sometimes this happens, Tikki. I don't know what else to tell you.

-

Dark Cupid is here! Yay! Things are starting to get really good! This was a really fun one, and I had a hard time with having them have a (for now) platonic friendship and platonic act of love and trust, but I did it! Remember that cataclysm, you might recall it someday... evil laughter. Kagami and Ondine first appearances, though Kagami will only come back at Revenge (Riposte), the concept of them being classmates is @zoe-oneesama's. Also, Chloé is still a bitch, but she is not the fucking criminal of canon and she WILL have a redemption. Next one is Loverbug (Anti-Bug), in which I hope to get you to understand her, at least a little. Hope you guys liked the chapter!

[percyjackson-sofiafantasies]

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟶𝟷

My 𝑡í𝑎 is not my 𝑡í𝑎..and that's okay.

𝙶reek Mythology. Something I don't really thrive on but do enjoy. I barely know anything about it, a 000.001 percent, maybe. I can only name so many devines, it's ridiculous.

I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself, let me introduce... Myself. I'm Seraphina Sofia Kilamary. As in Kila-Mary. Two completely different names morphed into one.

A lot of people get confused and even call me Calamari like it's supposed to be a joke! My friends told me it was... I never understood jokes.

Currently, I am sitting next to my best friends, Riley Gomez and Mc'Kayla Johnson. F.Y.I, the two are dating. Just for some context.

We met back in second grade, my first grade studying in the U.S after moving from Honduras. They're the only people I really trust and care for besides my dad and sisters.

❝Hey, wouldn't it be crazy if--❞ Riley started, getting my attention back.

❝No!❞ Mc'Kayla yelled, slamming her palm on the wooden table outside the school's backyard. ❝No more “what if”s.❞

❝Yeah, Rey,❞ I said, placing my elbow on the table, and leaning my cheek on my hand. ❝“What if”ing is my thing.❞ I said, my siren shaped eyes half closed.

Riley groaned, I understand what it feels like not being listened to. I always get teary when I'm excitedly explaining something just to get cut off and not be able to continue.

❝I'm joking,❞ I smiled, lifting my head up. ❝No, I'm not.❞ Is shook my head, my smile falling. ❝What is it you wanted to say?❞

Mc'Kayla sat back down, rolling her eyes, eyelids fluttering at the motion. It looked like she rolled her eyes way too hard, and if I did that my eyes would vibrate or something, I don't know how to explain it, but if you know you know.

❝Like I was saying,❞ Riley said, glaring at 'Kayla. The latter only crossed her arms, tired of all this Greek Mythology shit. And to be honest... So was I.

But if that was me - which is more often than not - I would want people to listen to me. ❝What if Athena turned Medusa into a monster to protect her?❞

That's it, I straightened my back, hands clasped on the table. ❝No. She cursed Medusa, end of story.❞ I leaned closer, whispering the last part before leaning back and turning my head away.

❝Oh, come on,❞ she said, leaning forward on the table, knees on the seat. ❝I'm sure Athena never cursed Medusa to punish her for what she did--❞

❝What Poseidon did.❞ I corrected, turning my head back to her.

❝Girls, I'm tired of this,❞ Mc'Kayla said, making us turn our attention to her. ❝what time is it?❞ She nodded her head up, looking from me to her girlfriend.

Riley took out her phone from her pocket, ❝12:19, why?❞ she looked up, pocketing her phone. I turned my head to Mc'Kayla, unclasping my hands and resting my palms on the table.

❝We got three minutes,❞ she said, standing up and swinging her legs one by one over the bench. ❝I gotta get to math.❞ She grabbed her bag, making Riley and I stand up and do the same.

❝Sucks for you to have math in seventh period.❞ Riley mocked, straping her bag over her shoulders. ❝I have it just in the middle.❞

I furrowed my brows, fixing the strap on my shoulder before hitting her on the back of her head, ❝Shut up!❞ I said, before snaking my arms behind my neck to lift my curls up.

Riley said "Ow!" as she rubbed her head, sitting back down. Mc'Kayla rolled her eyes before walking next to Riley and cupping her chin while pressing the side of her head to her own chest. ❝You're just mad you have math in first period.❞ Riley mocked, leaning into her girlfriend's touch, legs slowly swinging back and forth.

Nuzzling like a cat, I hate cats. I groaned before turning around and walking to the school's back door. This was like, the first and only time I skipped Study Hall. The girls followed quickly after.

❝Alright,❞ I started looking around the empty hallway. Most kids were in their classes, probably packing up, while some teachers told them the bell hadn't rung.

❝I have to go to Health Care,❞ I turned my attention to them, finished with fixing my bag strap. ❝See you two later--❞ just as they were about to say their goodbyes the speaker turned on.

❝𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦.❞

I sighed, turning my head back to them. ❝Your grandma coming to pick you up?❞ Riley asked, tilting her head to the side.

❝It's so not fair you get to leave early.❞ Mc'Kayla muttered, rolling her eyes with crossed arms. I chuckled, shaking my head. ❝It's my aunt, she's taking me to her daughter, JJ's graduation party.❞

I started to walk backward, waving before I turned around and headed to the office. I sighed, jerking my head to the side, moving a curly strand of hair behind my shoulder.

I don't really like parties, but I can tolerate the ones that are important to others, like Jaylin. It's amazing she graduated from High School, I'm still nervous about 𝘮𝘺 graduation.

You see (read), I'm a sophomore. And this year I have to get my service hours in. I never understood or will ever understand why they need us to do so. But at least babysitting is something I can put in.

I turned the corner, spotting my aunt standing on the other side of the hallway as I neared half of it. She was not in the main office but behind the main doors which is right there in the office. I'm sorry, I'm ready trying to describe VHS as I remember it.

I pushed the door open, letting it close behind me. ❝𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑎,❞ (Hi/Hello) she said, leaning to give me a hug and a kiss on my cheek which I returned.

❝𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑜 𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑠?❞ (how are you?) She asked, turning around and pulling the door open. We walked out after my aunt said a quick "Thank you!" To the person working at the desk.

❝𝐵𝑖𝑒𝑛٫ 𝑦 𝑡𝑢?❞ (Good, and you?) I asked, looking around before looking up at her. She sighed, looking around before crossing the road with me.

❝𝐸𝘩٫ 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑎𝑑𝑎.❞ (Uh, tired. - feminine ver.) She chuckled, walking around to the driver's side. I got into the passenger seat, dropping my bag to the floor, my legs on each side. All the while my aunt got in and closed the door, buckling her seatbelt.

❝Same.❞ I said closing the door before leaning back in the seat. ❝How are the girls? Still together I hope.❞ She asked, leaning forward in her seat, and twisting the car keys.

❝Ye𝐩, still going on strong.❞ I leaned forward, shifting in my seat. ❝Yourrrrr--uh,❞ she leaned back after hitting the gas pedal - or whatever you hit first.

❝Mm?❞ I hummed, lips presses together. I turned my head to her after pocketing my phone from looking at the time. ❝Your mom called.❞ She chuckled nervously, eyes flickering from me to the road.

I hummed again, crossing my arms as I exhaled. Me and my bonus mom never got along. She sent me to a Psychiatrist when I stopped talking to her for having two kids with another man. Like chu married to my dad, bitch!

And he doesn't know of it! Urgh, that's disgusting. I turned my head to the window, ❝What did she say?❞ I asked, trying to sound as polite as I could. I didn't want to sound rude to my aunt.

❝Uh, not--not her.❞ Aunt Rosabella said with a small chuckle. I turned my head to her, brows furrowed sadly. ❝Oh,❞ I said, eyes flickering down to the car floor. My arms loosening, uncrossing them.

Great, my biological mom wants to see me. She and I get along well. It's one-sided, though. She thinks we get along well. I don't, with her.

It's a long story and I don't want to spoil that right now. ❝Do you know why?❞ I look up at her, palms placed on my knees.

Aunt Rosabella sighed, eyes on the road. ❝No, but it appeared urgent.❞ She glanced down at me, her brows greased a little bit. ❝How are your teachers doing? Doing the job well, I hope.❞

My eyes flickered to the window. ❝Yeah, they're great. I'm just kinda sad Mr. Strickler had to report back to the military.❞

❝Oh, that soon, huh?❞ Aunt Rosabella sucked at her teeth, looking at the road. It was pretty empty today. No cars out. Nobody is out for a run. Which was usually what we saw.

A man running about with his dog. Two cars heading to the school, usually the nurses who switch shifts with the other two. But today seemed quiet. More quieter than the first two days of school.

I look up at Aunt Rosabella, she seemed tense, too tense. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, her shoulders were up, being pressed close to her head.

I furrowed my brows, my nails digging into my skin through my leggings. ❝𝑇𝑖𝑡í?❞ (Slang for 'Aunt' - Auntie) She shook her head, shoulders lowering, ❝I--I got a call from mister Brunner yesterday.❞ She said, evading my observation.

I hummed, eyes flickering from the window to her. ❝He suspects there might be another guest at the party.❞ She smiled awkwardly at me. I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.

I opened them, smiling up at her. ❝That's nice. When will they arrive?❞

❝I don't know,❞ she said shaking her head and looking back forward. We were nearing our location. She glanced at me before looking forward, squinting her eyes in the distance. ❝Are Riley and Mc'Kayla joining us?❞ She asked, straightening. So far, we have made it without getting caught.

Listen (read), from here on out, things may sound crazy--too unrealistic. And I understand that. Trust me, I thought so too when I was ten (10). But the next paragraphs you are about to read will be shocking--unless you have a good idea of what will happen.

I applaud you for that.

❝Yes, but not 'till later.❞ I answered, looking out the window. ❝By the gods!❞ My aunt yelled, stopping the car. I yelped, having not put a seatbelt on I wouldn't have been pulled forward by gravity. Aunt Rosabella held me, twisting her body to keep me close before my head slammed into the car.

I started to hyperventilate, hands gripping her arm. ❝Wha--what's going on?❞ I asked, too shocked to move. My aunt softly pushed me back, she unwrapped her arms from me and got out of the car, leaving the door open.

I looked up, my eyes widening once more. I opened the door, leaving my bag in the car. ❝What happened?❞ I asked, it was a rhetorical question. In front of us was a flipped-over car. Its flames were dying. Aunt Rosabella got up from the ground, dusting her palms on her pants. ❝Nobody is in there. They must have made it.❞

She walked past me, opening the car trunk. I stood still, looking at the bloodsplashes. 'This couldn't be happening', a voice in my head said. I flinched when I heard the trunk door close. I turned around, taking a few steps forward. ❝Here,❞ she said, handing me a duffel bag.

I took it, shouldering it. ❝it has all you need. I even packed your pills, okay?❞ I look up at her, my eyes flickering to the tree on the hill. ❝Okay, thanks.❞ I nodded, my eyes getting teary.

I exhaled, ❝So this is it?❞ I asked, my voice shaky as realization sunk in. I look at the flipped-over car, that must be the new person coming to "the party." I looked back at her, blinking my eyes so my tears would fall and stop blurring my vision of the woman standing in front of me pretending to be my aunt, I forgot she wasn't.

❝Oh,❞ she wrapped her arms around me, getting teary as well. I wrapped my arms around her as well. ❝The others will take care of you, baby.❞ She said, caressing the back of my head.

I didn't want to leave her, leave my family. I knew Mc'Kayla - my cousin - and Riley - best friend/future cousin-in-law - would be here with me. But I would never be able to say goodnight to my little sisters. Not be able to hug my father or kiss him goodnight.

But it was for the best. I had too many monsters after me. Too many who suspected me of something...

We parted the hug, and Aunt Rosabella stepped back. She was glowing gold. She opened her mouth to say something when we heard a shrike echo. The glow dimmed, and my aunt Rosabella was now on alert. My shoulders tensed, and my hands and fingers twitched to cover my ears. But I didn't.

I actually liked the sound. Still do.

I turned around, squinting my eyes in the distance. ❝Sofi..❞ my aunt Rosabella whispered. ❝Sofi, get to camp.❞ She whispered, I could sense her presence behind me. How she got closer. She placed her hands on my shoulders, ❝Get to camp.❞

We could see a figure in the distance that previously looked like a tree. ❝Seraphina Kila-Mary,❞ the thing called. Its voice was deep and husky, but it had a familiar tone. ❝we have orders from our lord to take you under.❞

My brain was working extra hours to find out who this was. But it was also trying to figure out why a Fury was after her--me. ❝This should be impossible.❞ I whispered as my aunt Rosabella stepped in front of me. I gripped the strap of my duffel, slowly stepping back. I needed to get to Thalia, I would be safe there.

So, remember the "JJ's graduation party" thing? Yeah, that was a ruse. She graduated long ago. We just couldn't have anyone hear I was moving to camp for the whole year. Well, depends if danger ceases to exist.

I turned my head to Thalia, seeing her pine tree on the hill. ❝I have orders from my lady to not let you!❞ Aunt Rosabella yelled, her golden glow appearing. I could only see the back of her head, but I could tell her pupils had turned gold, her sclera turning black.

I knew this because it happened once. A Fury was after another demigod but got a sniff of me and attacked me instead. Aunt Rosabella protected me, tough.

...the demigod died.

She turned her head to the side, ❝Get to safety!❞ She yelled, I wasted no time to hear her speak as I ran to the hill. The Fury shrieked, turning to its original, terrifying form. I could hear the Fury shrike in pain, my aunt Rosabella groaning and grunting.

The Fury had lunged forward, using its wings to fly towards me. I kept running, not looking back. I don't have an understanding of what exactly happened in the battle but I can tell you this; Aunt Rosabella grew wings, pushing herself off of the ground and blocking the Fury's way. The Fury shrieked when her hands turned into claws, griping the creature's shoulders. The fury shook, flapping around as it tried to shake the woman off, clawing at Rosabella's face. The woman let out a groan as her head was slapped.

She turned her head to the creature, its wings flapping wildly. Slowly her body was morphing, a tail growing from behind her. Her dangling feet turned into razor-sharp claws, gleaming in the fading light. Her arms grew fur, wings rearranging themselves as her body shifted. Once the glow was gone she let out a loud shrike. Her mouth was replaced by a long beak. She lunged her head forward, pecking the Fury with her peak.

I had reached Thalia by that time. I panted, leaning on the tree, ❝Hey, Tha--Thalia.❞ I laughed breathlessly. I turn around, my eyes flickering from the sky to the two. Now I could see the figure of the guy who was after me. ❝Mister LaRosa!❞ I screamed, finally recognizing who was after me. ❝I thought he was sent by my mom to protect me.❞ I said lowly to Thalia, turning my head to the tree. ❝No wonder he never talked to me personally or even looked my way.❞

Aunt Rosabella dug her talons deeper into the Fury's shoulders. The Fury's eyes blazed with fury (no pun intended) as it tried to shake off the Griffin's grip. But Aunt Rosabella held firm, her feathers ruffled by the Fury's flapping wings.

The Fury unleashed a blood-curdling scream, summoning dark, swirling mist from the Underworld. The mist coiled around Aunt Rosabella like a living serpent, trying to constrict her. But the Griffin's lion-like body glowed with golden light and with a mighty cry, Aunt Rosabella spread her wings, beating them powerfully to dispel the mist.

The Fury stumbled backward, its claws swiping wildly at the air as its wings clashed with Rosabella's. The Griffin countered with a swift swipe of her beak, ripping through the Fury's dark robes.

As the Fury recoiled, its face contorted in rage, Aunt Rosabella seized the opportunity. Her wings flapped back, summoning a gust of wind. The gust slammed into the Fury, sending it tumbling down to the ground.

The Fury sprang to its feet, eyes blazing with malevolent intent. But Aunt Rosabella stood firm, wings spread wide, ready to defend against the next attack.

She lowered herself gracefully, and I could still see her elegant figure in the distance. ❝Your master, Hades, will not claim this soul today.❞ The Griffin sent by my mother declared, her voice like thunder. I sighed, a hand on my chest. I walked backward, curious about what they might say. But I didn't want to dwell on it. I had enough problems as it was. No need to find out stuff I don't want to hear. Nor did I care why Hades was after me. What was going on here? I had asked myself many times, but like I said, I didn't dwell on it at that moment.

I turned around, sitting down the hill. I laughed as I rolled down. When I was at the bottom, I sat up with a breathless laugh. I brought my hand up, moving my curls out of my face to the back of my head. I turned my head, I was in front of a big house, its name? Big House. I exhaled, standing up, using my right hand as support. I opened the door, eyes flickering around the dim place. ❝Sera!❞ The voice of a girl called. I walked in, closing the door behind me. ❝Hey, Annabeth.❞ I whispered, eyeing the figure sleeping.

❝You won't believe what happened!❞ The younger girl said. Her blonde curls bounced as she jumped up from her seat, setting the book down. She walked to me with a big smile. ❝I'm gonna guess he's our new camper?❞ I pointed at the drooling ravenette.

❝He killed a Minotaur!❞

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A little rant, sorry.) Disclaimer! I wrote this before getting to the chapter of Medusa and without finishing the book. I'm one of those people who see a fandom, watches some videos about it (TikTok/yt shorts), reads x readers on Tumblr, etc. before reading/watching the fandom. And I (personally) love it when I get spoilers.

Also, I'm so sad about Jason, Don't really know a lot about him. Heard he died. And he has dated Piper for like three years, right? But she's lesbian? I really need to finish reading this because I have to know how this actually goes.

I don't want to assume things, but I can't help it. I don't hate any of the characters so far. And I was so shocked when reading the Medusa part. Like, and I quote ❝“...I had a…a boyfriend, you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident...”❞ I mean, I agree with the "bad woman" part. 'cause in the original Greek mythology (I hadn't realized Rick changed so much) Athena curses Mesuda for breaking a vow and desecrating Athena's temple. (Dind't she [Medusa] get r@ped?)

But why did she and Posidon have to be together in this? Is it because it was easier to explain to Rick's son? Either way, I feel bad for poor Medusa. In the original and in this. I kinda want to hug the creature. I want to become the creature. Also, kinda ironic. Perseus beheaded Mesuda in the original GM. While in Percy Jackson, Percy (short for Perseus) beheaded Medusa. Ironic, isn't it?

So far, I wanna judo-flip Annabeth. She's annoying. That's why I love her. She's precious. Grover as well. I love him. And I'm quite curious about what happened with Annabeth and him. I have a few theories. Maybe Grover failed to protect her? I mean, I feel like that's obvious. I wanna research like I have been, but I'll just wait and see.

Chapter two is in progress...

XOXO,

sofiafanasies

[strxwberrychocolate]

˗ˏˋ bittersweet ࿐ྂ Fujio and the girl who’s been in love with him since middle school

notes: based off the boy I've loved since 6th grade who I know will never like me back and resembles fujio's personality a little too much. It's going to be 8 years as of 2023 October and I'm still not over him but it's okay, I'm alright with pining. the oc is literally just a self-insert so it's a mirror of myself and this is written in first-pov. long story short, this is my life story put into a short fic

warnings: canon-typical violence, recreational drug use, underage drinking, alcohol abuse, smoking, mentions of abusive relationships, implied physical abuse, mentioned eating issues, weight-related talk, shotgun kisses, blood, mentions of periods, references to depression, victim blaming, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mild gore, this is basically a trauma dump in the form of a fic so plz be aware, not edited

pairing: fujio x oc (one-sided), sachio x oc (one-sided)

word count: 6309

❝how did love become love?❞

—

I don’t really remember life before Fujio Hanaoka. But then again, who genuinely remembers life before middle school? I met Fujio in middle school, 6th grade to be exact. Fujio came to my middle school around a month after it started because he was visiting his grandfather in the countryside and his mother decided to prolong their stay. One thing I noticed was that Fujio was popular. Very very popular among all the kids in class. It was then I realized that I was the outsider in this classroom. Everyone had gone to the same elementary school in this classroom and they all already knew each other. But I didn’t feel like an outsider for too long because the teacher had Fujio sit next to me since it was the only empty seat left. I had always been a pretty shy kid so making conversation was always hard but it seems that Fujio knew that so he talked to me first. We talked about the elementary schools we went to, the area we lived in, what we wanted to be when we grew up, and the annoying people in the class. Fujio talked and talked and talked to me and all I did was listen. 

It wasn’t long till I fell in love. 

Fujio knew everything about me. He’d been there at almost every major stage of my life.

Fujio was the one that taught me how to ride a bike, he was the one that listened when I felt insecure about the way I looked, he listened to me talk about my dreams and aspirations, we celebrated when I got her first period with cake(It was more like comforting but it was still a core memory). We’ve been with each other for really most of the important parts of our lives. But I wasn’t his best friend nor was I the one he loved. He loved me but not in the way I wanted him to. 

Middle school ends quicker than I wanted and high school starts. We don’t go to the same high schools but at least it’s in the same area. Fujio goes to Oya High and I go to Meiwa Girls School. It’s like a 5-minute distance from each other. Fujio stays at Oya High for a week until he has to go to the countryside to help his mom take care of his grandfather. I was absolutely devastated but there isn’t anything I could do. I became friends with Tsukasa Takajo during Fujio’s year-long absence. It seemed the blonde boy misses Fujio too. Things happen in SWORD but that isn’t too important. Nothing was really important to me while Fujio was gone. It sounds stupid I know but I was a bit of a hopeless romantic. It was horrible, I know. I waited and waited and waited. 

Things happen during Fujio’s absence other than that whole shit show that is SWORD’s politics. I meet a guy. He’s sweet. He goes to Shutoku Boys High School. We got together too fast. I used to say it was love at first sight. I think I was wrong. No, I definitely was wrong. I don’t really remember how we met— they say the brain blocks out things that were traumatic and too much for it to handle. Was that how it was for me? Things were sweet at first, we’d text and call each other all the time. He was sweet. I think I loved him at one point, at some point. But none of that matters. None of it matters after everything he’d done. We’d talk to each other all the time, eventually, my sleep was gone trying to comfort him about the breakup he had 3 years ago, going out with my friends after school stopped and so did so many other things. I used to really like swimming, I don’t remember the last time I went. I guess I lost all the motivation to do anything. 

I thought it was fine. I thought this was love. I was wrong. 

It was a conversation with Tsukasa I had during my 6th month with him that made me realize what was wrong. “Sweetie, you do know you’re getting abused right?” Tsukasa said with his signature blank face, using the pet name akin to an insult

I laughed awkwardly because I in fact did not know that. It took all night for me to convince Tsukasa not to go beat the shit out of my boyfriend. I think if Tsukasa hadn’t been all burnt out since Fujio’s departure he definitely would have gone to Shutoku and beat the shit out of the guy.

Breaking up with him had been the hardest part. It took 4 months, and 4 tries. Todoroki had been helpful in that. The last try was where Todoroki came in. I won’t go into detail but jealousy and me having to stand my ground was involved. The breakup wasn’t pretty but I was free. Surprisingly I didn’t cry. The breakup happened at 6 am, the morning before a major math test. I’m pretty sure I failed but it was okay, I was free and it was all that mattered. I went to Oya High that day and skipped the rest of my afternoon classes, I wanted to tell Tsukasa and Todoroki about it in person. Turns out, everyone knew about my little problem. Maybe it was because of my very obvious physically deteriorating health and the depression I think I had that made me lose so much motivation that my curly hair was now straight and frizzy. It was nice to have all the support. 

Mostly everyone was supportive and I think I may have talked about it too much, my past relationship I mean. But I just wanted the validation that I wasn’t wrong, that I wasn’t going crazy and all the things he did to me were in fact wrong and disgusting. But some people said it was my fault. Some said I should have left earlier. It made me feel worse. Tsukasa says they’ll never know what I went through unless they’ve experienced the same thing. No one will know about the nights I stayed up crying, not eating and— ah~ I’m rambling again. 

This guy had been a huge factor as to why I changed so much. When I was young, I had issues with eating, I didn’t eat that much and it bothered my mom. But when I did eat she’d encourage me to keep eating so I didn’t fucking die of starvation or something. My ex had been the first to ever tell me to stop eating. I guess it messed me up a lot. Even after I broke up with him, getting back into my usual more healthy habits was hard. Really hard.

My confidence had already been non-existent before but after the breakup, fucking hell I felt terrible. 

It was 3rd year and my grades were horrible, my skin, my teeth, my hair. I just really wasn’t having a good time. I used to drink before. For fun. Now it was just to forget. I wasn’t sad about the breakup itself, I wanted to forget about all that he’d done to me, everything I went through. I was angry. It made me angry that I went through that. How could I let myself go through it? Why didn’t I leave? I think all the anger I was feeling just drowned out all of my sadness. 

I let go of the chance of ever falling in love again. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to feel that way, this way ever again. 

But I guess one part of me knew that if Fujio ever came back and asked for my heart, I’d tear through my skin and muscles and pry open my ribs to give it to him.

—

❝I’m hiding in the rain, always smiling❞

—

It was like the universe finally had pity on me and one day finally, Fujio comes back. I see him outside the gates of Meiwa. Girls are staring at him of course, watching from afar, giggling. I don’t blame them. Fujio was handsome. He had a nice smile and nice features. He was really really good-looking, even more than the last time I saw him. “Fujio” I said walking over, a huge smile on my face

Fujio smiles right back at me. “Hey, long time no see! Miss me?”

“Definitely didn’t” That was a lie, I did, I missed him a lot

We stayed out that night, catching up. I patched up Fujio’s knuckles as I usually did and now we were sitting at an empty park just on the border between Oya and Sannoh. We were sitting on the swings, Fujio right next to me. The sun is setting, lighting up our surroundings in a warm orange and pink. Fujio looks pretty. His tanned skin it lit up in gold. He looks gold. For all I know, Fuijo was spun from pure gold thread. “Tsukasa told me about it… You and that guy” He says

I already knew Tsukasa was going to tell him. I was always a bit scared of that, telling Fujio. Would he be one of the people that supported me and comforted me or would he be one of the people that blamed me for what happened? “Yeah…” I say hesitantly “It was… a lot”

I close my eyes silently waiting for some kind of belittlement or blame but instead, I feel someone stand in front of me. “Hey” Fujio says

I open my eyes. He’s standing in front of me looking down at me while I stay sitting on the swing. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself have you?” Fujio asks, hand coming up to take a strand of my hair between my

I flinch. That was a huge mistake. Anger flashes through Fujio’s eyes as does pity. I feel terrible. Fujio looks like he wants to ask me something but he doesn’t. What he does instead is crouch down in front of me. “Hey” He says, his voice is a little quieter now

I’ve never heard his voice sound like that. It’s new and for some weird reason, I feel guilty. Fujio is looking up at me from where he’s crouched down. The swings are pretty low to the ground so he isn’t tilted his head too far back and I’m not tilting my head too far down either. “You didn’t deserve that” Fujio says

He takes my hand. I know this was supposed to be something heartwarming but my heart was just beating so fast and I started imagining us getting married and having kids and having grandkids and— yeah I got carried away. “And I mean it” Fujio continues “I know whatever I say isn’t going to make it better or change anything that happened but you didn’t deserve that no matter what other people have been telling you”

Figures. Fujio knew what people were saying. He always did. “What if they’re right?” I ask

There always has been this voice in my head telling me that what happened was my fault, that I deserved it. I know I didn’t but, your mind tends to be your own enemy. Fujio scoffs. “Be fucking for real! You…” He tugs a little at my hand and takes the other one as well “...You are the nicest person in this shit hole that I know. You’re so nice to everyone, you may not be the smartest and you are a little stupid and slow but… You’re so sweet. Don’t fucking let anyone tell you it was your fault because no one except you knows what happened. Never, never in your life will you ever deserve to be treated like that.”

Not only did it make my heart feel like it was doing an Olympic-level gymnastics routine in my chest but, I think I finally got the validation I needed after everything that happened. Fujio did just call me stupid in the middle of it but that didn’t matter. Not now. “I’m so so proud of you for getting out of that relationship” Fujio’s thumbs rub along my knuckles, I think he felt me shaking “It doesn’t matter how long it took you, it matters that you did it. You’re okay or… You’re going to be okay. I promise I’ll help you and I’ll make sure that fucking piece of shit will never hurt you again”

Finally, finally I was comforted the way I wanted. I finally got to hear everything I wanted someone to tell me in the first place. Being told you weren’t too broken and you could still be healed felt good. 

Hearing it from Fujio was really just a plus point.

—

❝Eyes meeting but hearts apart, it’s so sweet yet so bitter❞ 

—

Fujio was… Friendly. He was charismatic and very handsome so of course he’s had a bunch of girlfriends and talking stages and friends with benefits. A lot of girls liked him as well, many asking me to set them up with him. I guess in the end I’ll always be that one rare girl best friend that actually isn’t something to worry about. I’m not too sure how to feel about it. Sometimes it feels like Fujio has kissed everyone but me. Am I jealous? Of course, I am. Even now as he shows me a picture of the new girl he’s dating. “She’s pretty” I gush and nudge him, because if I don’t nudge him I might just kiss him

I think I’m a pretty good actor. I’m good at pretending that my heart isn’t tearing itself to shreds every time he talks about another girl. I should definitely win an Oscar award for these performances. I’ve never tried to make Fujio like me. Because I know he doesn’t and no matter what I do, it is no use. I’m not his type nor the one he will ever love. Love can happen eventually, I know that but Fujio will never love me, I’ve already come to terms with that. But even if I have, that doesn’t mean I’m over him. “You think so?” Fujio says with a grin looking right at me

I nod. It’s really all I can do.  

One thing Fujio likes doing is try to set me up with his friends. Today, it was Sachio. Don’t get me wrong. I like Sachio, but not the same way he likes me. 

Sometimes I think my unrequited feelings for Fujio is just karma for all of Fujio’s friends I have rejected. 

Fujio tells me Sachio really likes me. I think at one point I did like Sachio. He’s sweet. Really nice and respectful and would definitely be a better boyfriend than Fujio ever would be. But maybe it’s just me holding on so tightly to my first love, only ever having my eyes on Fujio that I’m not ever able to look at anyone else. I want to. I really do. But at the end of the day I always come back to him. I don’t expect for Fujio to return my feelings I just… I don’t know. 

Maybe one day I’ll get over Fujio, move on. But I don’t think so it’ll happen soon. 

I hope it does. Soon I mean. 

Because my hands are starting to burn from the rope called first love I’ve been holding on so tight to. 

—

❝Ruinous imagination consumes me, makes me dream sweeter dreams❞ 

—

“You really wanna meet Sachio?” Fujio asks me

“I’ve already met him Fujio” I tell him

Sachio was nice. I wasn’t over Fujio but I could stay stuck up on him either. It wasn’t healthy and I knew it. I should get over it, I should try. Not only to get over Fujio but also what my asshole ex did to me. Fujio aside, I was tired of feeling so angry all the time. I didn’t tell anyone that I felt angry rather than sad. What if I tell them and everyone that was supportive of me starts calling me crazy too, or stop supporting me through it? I think my emotions were always something I kept to myself. I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. It didn’t matter to me who stopped supporting me just not Fujio, never Fujio. I might actually go crazy if he does. Honestly speaking, I think I already am crazy. I won’t be surprised if I go for some psychiatric test and the results come out with a diagnosis telling me I’m crazy. After everything that’s happened paired with my weird dependency on Fujio, I think I am crazy. “Yeah but, no you know he likes you” Fujio says “Are you gonna give him a chance”

We’re inside a convenience store. Fujio wanted to get something to drink. He’s standing in front of the fridge trying to figure out what he wants while I’m standing in front of one of the glass doors of the fridge staring at my favourite drink. I want it. But I don’t really have the energy to bring my arm up and open the glass door. It’s weird. I don’t have the motivation to even do the things I like. I want to stop feeling like this. I thought being here with Fujio would distract me from the feeling but I guess not. I thought my heart was only filled with Fujio but that void after my breakup is getting bigger and it hurts. “Maybe…” I say, staring at my blurry reflection in the glass

I look tired. I’ve always had eyebags due to having low iron and a shitty sleep schedule but now they were darker. My skin thankfully looks the same and isn’t dull. I think I should thank myself for being so strict about my skincare routine and eating habits. But the glow in my skin doesn’t matter when the look in my eyes just shows how fucking exhausted I am. It’s not really my eyes that I’m worried about. It’s my hair. I’ve always loved my hair. Everyone has. It was curly and long and Fujio really liked it. It wasn’t curly-curly with ringlets but more wavy-curly. Now it was kinda straight and a little frizzy at the ends. Oh. It feels like I was seeing my own reflection after years. I look like this? This is what Sachio likes? I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ugly in my life. To make things even worse, there’s an annoying pain in lower belly. I’m on my fucking period. “...Hello?” Fujio nudges me

I look at him then look away. I can feel Fujio looking at me. I want him to stop. I feel gross. Fujio opens the door and I watch him take the drink I was staring at. “You were just staring at it” Fujio says

Before I could tell him I don’t want it, Fujio’s already heading for the counter and he pays. Oh. I think I’m going crazy. “Come on” Fujio calls

I follow his words and go outside. Fujio’s already sitting outside the convenience store on the curb. I sit down next to him. “You didn’t have to get that for me” I say

Fujio shakes his head. “You were just staring at it… So I got it for you” He says and opens up the drink before handing it to me

I take it. “Why were you staring at it?” He asks

I know I shouldn’t be admitting it out loud, but I tell him anyways. “I don’t know… I wanted to get it but like… I don’t know. It felt like too much work”

Had I been making any other expression, Fujio would have laughed at me and called me lazy. But no. Instead he gives me a sad look. “You’re fucking depressed” he says

Wow. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. “H-huh?”

“Don’t h-huh me!” He says, mimicking my words

Fujio grabs the drink he just gave me and aggressively puts the cap back on. “You need help” He grabs me by my shoulders and shakes me “Why didn’t you tell me before”

I feel weirdly ashamed right now. Tears well up in my eyes. “I told you that I’m here for you. If you’re feeling like fucking shit then you should tell me” Fujio says

He takes his hands off my shoulders and now he’s holding my face. Something wet touches my cheek and Fujio’s eyes soften. Oh. I’m crying. This was more embarrassing than it needed to be. “You don’t need to pretend to be happy or a certain way around me. I’ve already seen you being weird and fucking embarrassing! So please” Fujio says, his thumbs wiping away the tears running down my cheeks “Please just tell me what you feel. Tell me when you don’t feel okay, tell me when you’re sad, tell me if someone is hurting you, tell me if you’re scared. Just tell me”

I’m shaking. Fujio just keeps telling me everything is okay, that he’ll make everything okay. It’s unrealistic for him to say so, even I know that but any kind of comfort, even the unrealistic kind sounds nice when you’re hurting. “I promise… I promise, everything will be okay” He tells me and presses his forehead against mine

I guess there was a reason I was never able to fall out of love with Fujio. When he does things like this, how could I ever get over him?

—

❝I close my eyes but thoughts of you bring turmoil to my nights❞ 

—

“Has anyone ever told you how obvious you are?” Tsukasa says to me

I stare at him in confusion. We were on the top of the temple. Yes, the temple whose stairs Fujio falls down on a daily basis. We were meeting his new girlfriend. This sounds horrible but I’ve already forgotten her name. “Huh? Obvious about what?” I ask

Tsukasa nudges me. “You like him”

My hands tremble. I didn’t expect him to say that. “What? No” I deny it immediately 

The blonde boy next to me on the bench only laughs. “You think I’m an idiot? You’re really really obvious. You like him, everyone knows”

Um. What? Tsukasa sees my reaction and sighs. I’m not sure what face I’m making but I think it might be the same one where Tsukasa told me I was getting abused. Fun right? “No one has told Fujio about it but he does know”

This just keeps getting even worse. “What?”

I want Tsukasa to stop talking. I don’t want to hear anymore but I have to. “Fujio knows you like him. He’s known all along. But Fujio also knows you’ll never confess to him because you know he doesn’t like you back. That’s why he keeps you here with him unlike the other girls who have confessed and then got rejected” Tsukasa explains

I’m not to sure how to feel about this. I look over toward Fujio. He’s with his girlfriend further away. It looks like she’s arguing with him but he’s only smiling. I watch him reach over and he grabs her waist. Instantly she stops and her cheeks flush red. Or I think they do. I can’t really see far away and I don’t want to wear my glasses. You know anxiety and stuff. Seeing the world clear just doesn’t help and I think the 480-720-pixel resolution that is my eyesight really helps with calming my nerves. But right now it feels like I can see everything clearly. Fujio’s lovestruck look, his girlfriend’s shy smile. I can see it all. I wish I couldn’t. “He… Knows?”

“I won’t tell him that I told you. But yeah he does know. That’s why he’s always been trying to set you up with someone else because Fujio thinks you don’t deserve him”

I frown and look away from the two lovebirds. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tsukasa scoffs. “Oh please, we all know how much of a shitty boyfriend Fujio would be. I’m his best friend, I know. Fujio is to friendly and you’re still healing…” Tsukasa tells me “But okay, let’s say all that with that motherfucker from Shutoku didn’t happen. Being with him would make you so fucking insecure. He’s talking to new girls every day. He’s so fucking affectionate with everyone, you’d be wondering if he was cheating every other day”

Tsukasa was right. I knew he was. I thought about this before. Fujio wouldn’t be a good boyfriend. If there was ever a day that he maybe did like me back, it would be painful being with him. But still, I was still so fucking in love with him. I hated myself for it. “I know” I mutter quietly “I just can’t get over him”

Tsukasa next to me sighs and he rests a hand on my shoulder, lightly squeezing. “Try talking to Sachio more. I know him, we all do. Sachio’s nice. I’m telling you to use Sachio to get over that idiot over there but… Maybe you should try looking for other guys. You’re not gonna get over Fujio without actually looking” He tells me

He was right. Ugh fuck. Maybe I should talk to Sachio. 

Why not?

—

❝Don’t wanna let go so I let go❞

—

Today was one of the rare days I was wearing my glasses. Fujio insisted on some bonding time with resulted in Sachio Ueda, Yuken Odajima, Tsukasa and Fujio’s girlfriend and me going to the movies. Now Fujio and I were waiting outside the bathrooms on the bench, waiting for all of them. I had sat next to Sachio during the movie, sharing popcorn with him. Fujio told he didn’t tell Sachio that I know he likes me. I guess now that I do know, things are pretty clear. I don’t know why I haven’t noticed it before. Maybe it was because I was too focused on Fujio. “Why does he like me?” I ask Fujio “I’m not pretty or like… Smart. There isn’t really any redeeming quality about me”

Fujio is fiddling with the movie tickets, his and his girlfriend’s. He looks at me, giving me a weird look. “You don’t think you’re pretty?”

I push my glasses up my nose and shake my head. “No. I’m not. I mean come on Fujio, look at me” I tell him

I guess I’ve always been pretty insecure about myself growing up. Especially when middle school started. My parents and relatives have always told me I’m pretty, backstabbing cousins and aunts say things to me out of apparent jealously. I pretended to think I was pretty when I was at home. I don’t think I’d ever be able to tell my mother how I actually felt about myself when she was always so proud of the way I looked, that I was so pretty. I think it would break her if I told her I hated myself— that I hated my face, my body, my own skin. I could never tell her. It was with my friends I could really spill out all my feelings. “Yeah I am” Fujio says “You’re not ugly”

I roll my eyes. “Uh-huh”

Fujio nudges me in the ribs. “I mean it. You’re definitely not ugly”

He leans over and brings his hand up. He’s so so close to me right now, I can feel his breath, see every pore and blemish on his skin— he’s still so beautiful. Fujio pulls my glasses off my face. I have told him many times not to do that. Taking my glasses off for me always felt so unnecessarily sexual. I didn’t tell Fujio it was like that though so he still continued doing it whenever I wore them anyways. “You’re very pretty, that’s one of the reasons Sachio likes you. But Sachio aside, you’re not at all ugly. You’re pretty” Fujio tells me and his other hand brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear “I’d never be friends with an ugly person”

My cheeks are no doubt red. But I play it off by punching his arm. “Fuck off” I mutter “Let me wallow in my misery in peace”

Fujio laughs softly. I want to kiss him so bad. “You are stupid though” he says

I hit him again and suppress the urge to kiss him. Fujio isn’t mine so I can’t kiss him. 

—

❝will our eyes ever meet each others again?❞

—

I often wonder what kind of a person I would have been if I never met Fujio, if I hadn’t fallen in love with him. It sounds like a nightmare. I can’t imagine my life without Fujio. Maybe I’m just that much in love with him. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Sometimes I wish I was in love with Sachio instead. But now, sometimes has turned into an almost every day wishing as I watch Fujio and his girlfriend play around in the park while I sit alone on the bench. It’s 12:30 am. I should be going home. I’m not even allowed to be staying out this late. But I haven’t gotten any calls from my mom, maybe she’s already asleep. I say and lean back into the bench. There is something painful watching the person you love fall in love and be in love with someone else. Even more painful watching them receive it back. “Hey” Sachio sits down next to me

I look at him and smile. After the movies Yuken insisted on going to get some stuff because he hadn’t smoked in so long. Stuff meaning weed and next to me Sachio is smoking some as well, the spliff between his fingers as he leans back against the bench next to me. Yuken and Tsukasa are off to the side talking quietly amongst themselves while smoking and Fujio’s still with his girlfriend, pushing her on the swings. “You feeling okay?” Sachio asks me, taking a drag before slowly exhaling “I heard about what happened with the guy”

Sachio has always been the kind of guy everyone went to when they had some kind of problem. He was nice and gave really good advice. “Yeah… I mean… It’s taking a lot longer than I expected for things to get better” I say quietly

I started taking a lot of painkillers after my breakup, not just alcohol. Thankfully Fujio seemed to catch on and stopped before things could get serious but I still feel like absolute shit during random times of the day. “Well you can’t expect to get better overnight. Your relationship was 9 months… That’s a long time. So you can take your time getting better too” Sachio says

I turn my attention to his lips, watching them wrap around the spliff and slowly exhale. Sachio sees and grins. That’s kinda hot. “Wanna try?” He asks

I stare for a moment at the drug wrapped in brown paper. “I don’t know how”

Sachio’s red-rimmed eyes are saying so much but so little at the same time. I don’t know what he’s thinking. But whatever he is thinking is making him hesitant to do whatever he wants to do next. It’s a short moment before he speaks again. “Come closer” he says

I obey without thinking, the sides of our thighs pressing together. Sachio takes my glasses off my face. Haha fuck. He brings the spliff up to his lips and then pauses, still looking a little hesitant. “Inhale okay” he says before taking a drag

Sachio leans over and I don’t move. He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. He leans in closer, closer, closer. I can see his pore, the blemish, the moles, I can see all his skin up close. I think he’s going to kiss me but Sachio hasn’t closed his eyes. I realize he hasn’t exhaled yet so I have an idea of what he’s doing. Sachio’s lips press to mine but not to kiss. Well kind of. He exhales smoke into my mouth and I inhale. His lips feel soft. It feels nice. Sachio pulls away not too long after but I can still feel his lips on mine. I exhale, coughing a little bit. My throat burns but it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be. “Didn’t know you knew how to do that” Sachio says with a little laugh

My face is probably red right now. “Uh… I saw Odajima teach a girl how some weeks ago” I mutter

Sachio laughs. “Of course you did” he says

He’s smiling hard. I wonder why he he likes me. I wish he didn’t. Sachio shows me how to properly smoke after that. He doesn’t let me smoke to much though. It’s not too bad but he says he knew I probably didn’t each much so I shouldn’t else I’d feel nauseous. It feels weird being high. I’ve drank but smoking was a new territory for me. I feel a little lazy. But not the bad kind. This doesn’t feel too bad. I have a feeling I’ll get an earful from Fujio later, he’s been giving me looks. Fujio doesn’t smoke, Tsukasa does. Tsukasa gets scolded by Fujio on a daily basis when he comes back smelling like weed. I probably won’t do this again. I look at Sachio who’s already looking at me. Maybe it’s the weed that is making me lose lipped but the next words leave my mouth like vomit. “Why do you like me?” I ask and regret it immediately

Sachio smiles. “Why? Do I need an exact reason?” He asks

Something twists in my chest. It hurts. I don’t want him to like me. Not because I like Fujio, but because I don’t deserve to be liked by someone as nice as him. I’m a horrible person. “You deserve someone better,” I tell him “I’m not fishing for compliments here but I’m not exactly the most extraordinary”

Sachio sighs. The spliff is finished and now all we’re left with is uncomfortable questions. Thank god I’m high or I probably would have ran into the middle of the street and got myself hit by a bus on purpose. “I don’t care if you’re not anything extraordinary” He tells me shaking his head “I like you and you don’t get to decide who I deserve… That’s for me to decide”

I want to cry. I want to so badly feel better again or maybe at least get over Fujio. “But I… I’m not okay. I probably won’t be for a while. And no matter how hard I try I… I don’t want you to wait for me forever Sachio. What if I can’t ever fall in love again?” I tell him, almost whispering at the end

Sachio turns his entire body and is facing me. “I don’t mind waiting” He says with a smile “But me and my feelings aside, you can take as long as you want to feel better. It doesn’t matter who’s waiting for you. Me or Fujio or anyone. You need to feel better for yourself”

I fumble with my hands while staring right into his eyes. Does being high make you emotional? I don’t know. But fuck I felt like crying. “How do I know if I’m better… It feels like I never will” 

Sachio is smiling so softly at me. It makes my heart hurt. His hand comes up and he takes a stand of my hair between his fingers. “Your hair. Maybe when your hair is back to how it used to be is when you’ll be better” He tells me

It’s 1 am. I should be at home. But here I am, with Sachio— the boy that loves me the way I wished Fujio loved me. I wish I loved him back. There are so many things I want to ask Sachio right now but I don’t. How do you get over someone who was never yours, to begin with? Who do you blame when you’ve broken your own heart? I don’t say anything but Sachio keeps talking. “I’m not forcing you to love—like me back… Right now I’m just telling you to take your time and maybe love yourself first” He says

Stop loving him goes unsaid but I know he wanted to say it. At that moment in Sachio’s eyes I see something of myself. He looks at me the same way I look at Fujio. It hurts. I wonder if this hurts him as much as it hurts me. But here’s the thing, I could get over Fujio and maybe I could even one day love Sachio back. But I’d never be able to forget the feeling of hurt nor the thought that I may only be loving Sachio back because I don’t want him to feel the same way I feel right now. I look toward Fujio who’s wrapping his girlfriend up in his arms and kissing her forehead. It feels like pieces of glass are tearing into my heart. 

Had someone told me being in with would be so painful I would have never fallen for Fujio in the first place. I look at Sachio and feel almost a little better. 

Does he wish I get over Fujio?

Does he pray at night for me to love him back?

I’m not sure I want to know. Maybe my problem is that I love Fujio way more than I love myself. Maybe the day I start loving myself again will be the day I get over Fujio. Sachio’s hand comes up and he brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. 

It’s 1:35 am, I’m supposed to be at home sleeping but instead here I am; high in front of a boy that doesn’t love me back and sitting next to one that does. I feel ungrateful and cruel.

I hope I never break Sachio's heart like I broke my own.

[kaleforcale888]

Just Y/n - Cale Makar

Summary: You are not sure where you and Cale stand in your relationship.

Word count: 2.3K

Warning: cale being a red flag; lack of communication; anxiety

a/n: so while going through the notes app in my phone I found some of my work from the original kaleforcale888 and decided to rewrite it. Anyway thanks for sticking around as I get my crap all back together!

You didn’t know what it was about Cale, but you were definitely starting to have stronger feelings than just “liking” him. What a cliché, middle school thing to say, liking someone. You didn’t know what it was about the man; maybe it was his beautiful, blue eyes that caught you attention, or his crazy hair that sticks up in all different directions at any given moment.

Despite being incredibly good looking, he was also the sweetest person you had ever met. Cale had the best personality. On the outside he was reserved and quiet, but once you got to know him, he was actually really interesting and fun to be around.

You hadn’t been seeing or even hanging out with Cale for very long, only going on a few dates here and there depending on when he was in Denver. You had met at a King Soopers’ Starbucks, him having come in for a drink and leaving with your phone number. From then on you had been on one formal dinner date but had hung out at miscellaneous times when he was in the state. Your favorite was just spending time with him at his apartment and doing random, mundane things. You felt like you got to know the real Cale, not Cale Makar: MVP defenseman.

Spending so much time together made you feel like you had known him your entire life. One date and ever since, you had magically fallen into a routine together. When he had home games, you’d stay at his apartment until the game was over, then spend the evening together before sharing a bed together for the night. While he was away, you would sit at home, missing him, wishing he was there with you.

With your routines naturally integrating, you never had the “what are we talk.” Yeah, you kissed on a regular basis and often slept in the same bed, but some aspects of your life never fully unified; and for a time, part of you was fine with that, but as of late, it was starting to wear on you. You had never met his friends or even teammates, let alone his family, and you started to doubt your relationship, or maybe lack thereof.

***

You sat on the couch of Cale’s apartment, watching the end of the hockey game. The Avs won again, and you knew he would walk through the door nonchalantly but would be elated on the inside. After about an hour or so later, a jingle of keys in the door let you know that Cale was home. You smiled to yourself.

“I’m home,” Cale joked, throwing his bag next to the door so he could easily find it tomorrow morning.

Looking back at him, you rested your chin on the back of the couch, “Hi, how was it,” you asked, acting like you hadn’t just watched the entire game in his living room. You always liked to ask him how it went to get his perspective.

He crouched down to be level with you and smiled, “It was good.”

You rolled your eyes at his humbleness and leaned in closer to him. Cale closed the gap between you, placing a quick kiss on your lips and stood up, too fast for your liking.

There honestly wasn’t a thought running through your mind that he didn’t like you, especially not after that flirtatious kiss. You just wished you would finally make it “official.” All you wanted recently was to meet his friends and to be a part of his world, completely.

“Hey babe,” Cale called, you didn’t even realize he had walked away because too distracted by your own thoughts.

Slightly smiling to yourself at the sweet endearment, “Yeah?” Why were you even questioning anything?

“I think I’m gonna take a quick shower, then head to bed. You are more than welcome to stay if you’d like,” he said, leaning on the door frame of his bedroom, waiting for a response. You just shook your head and settled back into the couch.

***

A few days later, you found yourself back in the very same place, Cale’s apartment. You had spent the night and he had just got back from his morning skate. “So then, Mel and a few of the other girls came and picked up their new jackets, and the guys got distracted so Bednar just ended it then.”

You shook your head, just listening to him as you stole a grape from his lunch plate. You were keeping unusually quiet today and sat with your thoughts, this was new to Cale, but he could tell that there was something bothering you. All you could think about was getting a jacket with Cale’s name on the back and being able to sport it with pride on game days. You also couldn’t help but wonder if you would get along with the other girls and wanted to meet his friends.

Sitting in silence for a few more moments, opening and closing your mouth, Cale looked up at you, expecting you to speak, “do you think I’d get along with the other girls?”

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t,” he responded, walking to the kitchen, “You’d probably love them.”

“What about the guys?”

“They’d probably adore you, probably chirp you for being with me, but its all-in good nature,” he said as he opened the fridge to pretend to look busy, “But why are you bringing this up now? What’s going on?”

“I want to meet your friends, your Denver family. I want to see the other side of you and the other community you’re apart of. I feel like you’re ashamed of me or some…” before you could finish, Cale closed the door of the fridge and pinched the bridge of his nose. He let out a breath, walked closer to you, and grabbed your hands.

“I’m not ashamed of you by any means… it’s just always been hard for me to let people into my life. But listen, if it really means that much to you,” he stopped and took a deep breath, “there is a charity dinner next weekend, before the start of the playoffs, would you like to be my date? We could get all dressed up, maybe look for a dress…”

Before he could continue, you shrieked out a yes and grabbed his face, kissing all over it. “Does this mean I get to meet all the guys?”

“I don’t see why not,” he smiled at you and pressed your foreheads together before kissing you.

***

The charity  dinner was tonight and to say you were nervous was an understatement. How was Cale going to introduce you? Were you his girlfriend, his good friend? You weren’t entirely sure.

You looked in the mirror, and touched up your hair as Cale came into the bathroom connected to your bedroom. He arrived 30 minutes early as always and waited on your bed as you finished getting ready. Making eye contact through the mirror, you gave him a tight-lipped smile to which he returned, “I’m a little nervous,” you said as you scrunched into your shoulders.

“It’ll be okay,’ he said, finally walking into bathroom to wrap his arms around your shoulders.

“I know,” you turned around in his arms, “but what if they don’t like me? They have to be protective over you.”

“I promise you, if I like you, they’re going to have to put up with you. But you only have like 2 minutes, otherwise we’re gonna be late,” he said, checking his watch.

You rolled your eyes, “your definition of late or mine,” you teased and turned to finish what you were doing.”

***

As you walked into the hall, it felt like all eyes were on you and Cale, his arm interlocked with yours as you entered. “Calers!” A tall blonde man shouted across the room. Cale’s cheeks turned brighter red than normal as he directed you towards the group the man was standing with.

“Hey guys.”

“Well, well, well, Calers, who is this?” One of the men in the group asked.

“This is Y/n. Y/n this is Gabriel Landeskog, Nathan Mackinnon, and JT Compher.” He finished, pointing to a decently tall man with flaming red hair. Your heart sank in your chest, and you looked down hoping your face didn’t show too much disappointment. You weren’t officially his girlfriend; you just did relationship-y things. An awkward silence landed over the group.

“It’s nice to finally put faces to the names,” you fake laughed, breaking up some of the silence.

As the guys started up a conversation about what they could do better heading into playoff season, a woman walked up to Gabe. She gave the man a drink before stepping closer to you and offering you a smile, “Hey, I’m Mel.”

“Hi, I’m Y/n,” you smiled back at the blond.

“All this hockey talk is kind of boring, would you like to get a drink?”

You shook your head and untangled your arm in Cale’s before leaning up and whispering to him, “I’m gonna go get a drink,” to which he responded with a nod and a kiss to your cheek.

You followed Mel to the bar and ordered your drink, “I’m Gabe’s wife, if you couldn’t tell,” she joked, making you feel less nervous, “Are you Cale’s girlfriend?” She asked as you sat down at the bar together.

There it was the ever so dreaded question. Taking a sip of your cocktail to distract yourself, you shook your head, “no, just Y/n,” you said, repeating what Cale had told the other guys earlier in the evening.

Mel shook her head in understanding, “We’ll, he’s truly a good kid, if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said, looking over at her husband and the defenseman interacting.

“No, yeah, I know. We’ve been hanging out for a while and I really like him, but we’ve never made anything official.”

Mel looked at you, studying your body language, she could tell this was bothering you. “Well, I don’t know how long you guys have been “hanging out”, but I’ve known him for three years now, and he’s never once brought a date to one of these. Let alone a barbeque or team pool party.”

A slight smile crept up on your lips. At least he felt comfortable enough to be willing to introduce you to his friends, despite you having to ask him. You and Mel continued to talk and get to know each other before she excused herself. When you looked over to find Cale, you saw her talking to Gabe and Cale, who looked like he was very interested in whatever she had to say.

Not long after, you finished your drink and followed in her footsteps to find Cale who was talking to some older looking men. Tapping on his shoulder, he greeted you with a smile, pulled you into his side, and continued his conversation with the men. Once there was a lull in the conversation, he looked down to you, noticing you weren’t acting like yourself, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied, “just getting a little tired,” you finished off with a fake yawn.

Cale shrugged it off and looked at his watch, “It is getting late, why don’t we get out of here?”

As you walked to the car hand in hand, your thoughts couldn’t help but spiral. Cale opened the car door for you; this sucked, you knew when you got home you would fall directly back into the dance of avoiding whatever conversation needed to happen.

Slamming your eyes shut, you laid your head on the car seat. The quiet got interrupted by Cale gently whispering, “You’ve seemed a little off these past few days. What’s going on in that mind of yours Y/n?”

“Nothing.”

“Please don’t lie to me, Y/n.” Cale whispered, grabbing your hand.

“I’m not lying.”

“I know you are. I was talking to Melissa, and I think we need to have a conversation.”

This conversation could either be very bad or very good, there was no telling at this moment.

“I agree,” you breathed out.

“She said that I should stop avoiding telling you how I feel,” he said as gently started rubbing his thumb across your knuckle, “I hope you know I really like you,” you slightly chuckled, “like a lot.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I was really starting to doubt, I mean just Y/n. Really, Cale? You can’t even introduce me as your girlfriend,” you said, refusing to look up at him.

“I didn’t think we needed a title. For goodness’ sake, we practically spend every waking minute together!” Despite his frustration and lack of being able to truly communicate his feelings, he remained calm. He knew that raising his voice could only make the situation worse and he would only feel more frustrated, “I thought those were titles were juvenile.”

You quickly looked up at him, laughing, trying to hold back tears, “Cale, I want to be your girlfriend!”

Cale sighed and leaned over the console, putting your foreheads together.

“Okay then, will be my girlfriend?”

“Really? That’s all it took for you to finally ask me but yes” you smiled and kissed him.

“I’m sorry, by the way… I didn’t know it meant that much to you.”

“I accept your apology. But I will say, we are both terrible at communicating.”

“I agree, now can we go home?” he asked as he put the car in reverse to pull out of the parking spot.

***

A couple of weeks later, a package was delivered to Cale’s apartment addressed to you. Opening the cardboard box, you found a burgundy jacket with two interlocking hockey sticks on the arms. On the back was “MAKAR” stitched in black with a white outline and a big 8 to match his jersey. You smiled widely and hugged the fuzzy jacket in excitement. The only other thing inside the box was a note.

“Just in time for playoffs :) - M”

[tyuninthemirror]

— talk fast: h.k

— pairing: huening kai x fem!reader — genre: fluff — word count: 1073 — disclaimers: mentions of toxic relationships, mentions of food and mentions of sex. — synopsis: you were huening kai's first love, he's hoping to be your last. — series masterlist

— author's note: something short but sweet to sweeten up your week ender!!!

The familiar smell of roasted coffee beans hits you as you walk through the door of the quaint coffee shop. You spot Huening Kai sitting at a small, intimate table in the corner, his eyes fixed on his phone until he notices your arrival. A bright smile spreads across your face as you approach him, waving excitedly. He stands up to hug you, his tall frame almost towering over your own.

"Hey, Y/N.”

"Hey Kai," you reply, taking a seat across from him and settling into your chair. “How are you?”

"I'm good, thanks. Surprised I got a call from you. What's up?" he asks, concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, sorry. Taehyun said he was busy today and suggested I call you if I needed a friend to talk to," you sigh and shake your head. "My boyfriend and I broke up last night."

Kai's expression softens. "Sunwoo? I'm so sorry, Y/N. That must be really tough."

"Yeah, I'll try to get over it."

You've known Taehyun since primary school and despite going to different schools later on, your friendship remained strong well into your early 20s. It was no surprise that Huening Kai, Taehyun's best friend since middle school, eventually entered your life as well. Taehyun had predicted it from the moment he introduced you to each other - it was only a matter of time before Kai fell head over heels for you.

But as much as Taehyun silently rooted for the two of you to get together, he could only watch from the sidelines. His best friend pining for his best girl friend was a situation he never thought he would find himself in. And unfortunately for Kai, while his feelings for you were obvious to everyone around him, his shyness always held him back from making a move. And as for you, well, you always had eyes for guys that screamed bad news.

"So Kim Sunwoo broke up with Y/N?" Taehyun asked as he caught up with Kai that night.

Kai nodded sadly and replied, "Yeah, turns out he was using her for money. When she stopped paying, he broke up with her."

"Poor Y/N," Taehyun sympathized. "But maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Are you going to make a move now?"

Kai jumped away from the screen as if shocked by the question. "What? No way! She just got out of a relationship."

"But she won't be single for long," Taehyun pointed out. He felt a twinge of guilt as Kai's shoulders slumped at his words, but he knew tough love was necessary in this situation.

"Seriously, man," he sighed. "We've seen Y/N date countless losers. Don't you think she deserves someone better?"

"You think I'm that someone?" Kai raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Me? The introverted Huening Kai who couldn't even say hi to her when we first met?"

"You've been in love with her since middle school," Taehyun reminded him. "You haven't had a crush on anyone else besides Y/N, except for that one time when you were obsessed with Ezra from Fairy Tail." He deadpanned, "So yes, you would be the perfect candidate. What if she ends up marrying the next guy? Will you be okay with never taking a chance?"

For several days, Huening Kai mulled over Taehyun's words, the thought of asking you out on a date weighing heavily on his mind.

When he finally gathered enough courage to call you, his heart was racing as he waited for your answer.

"Kai, I appreciate the offer, but I'm not sure if I'm ready," you say hesitantly, your lips trembling with uncertainty. You didn't want to hurt him, but you were still healing from your recent breakup and weren't sure if it was fair to jump into something new so soon.

"I completely understand," Kai replies empathetically. "But I promise it'll be a fun night. And maybe it'll give you some distraction from everything going on."

After pondering for a moment, you decide to take a chance and agree. "Okay, let's do it."

Friday night arrives and Kai takes you to an intimate Italian restaurant. The cozy atmosphere and delicious food make for a perfect evening as the two of you talk and laugh the night away.

"Wait, are you serious?!" you exclaim in disbelief. "So Taehyun only injured his ankle because he was trying to impress his crush?!"

Kai chuckles. "Yep, that's our Taehyun for you."

"He told me it happened while playing basketball," you pout, feeling slightly betrayed at the new revelation.

"The whole incident was quite embarrassing actually. That's probably why he made me swear never to tell you," Kai confesses with a mischievous grin.

"Ugh, now I can't tease him about it without getting in trouble," you lament.

"Don't worry about it; I've got your back," Kai reassures you.

As the evening progresses, you find yourself thoroughly enjoying Kai's company. He's charming and funny, and every time he smiles at you, your heart flutters with excitement.

You've never dated anyone quite like him before, and it's a refreshing change of pace.

As you walk back to your car after dinner, Kai takes your hand and looks at you earnestly.

"Y/N, I know it may seem soon after your breakup, but I can't deny my feelings for you any longer. I've liked you since the day we met. And I hope after tonight, you'll consider giving us a chance," he says sincerely. He would never admit how many times he practiced that line in front of the mirror before your date.

Your heart races as you meet his gaze. "Kai, I don't know what to say."

"Just think about it," he replies, gently squeezing your hand. You nod, feeling a mix of emotions as you say goodnight and drive home. Thoughts of what could potentially happen between you and Kai swirl in your mind as you head towards bed.

"Hello?"

"Kang Taehyun."

"Y/N L/N."

"Are you really okay with Kai and I dating?"

"As long as I don't have to third wheel. It's tiring enough to hang out with either of you. Imagine dealing with the both of you."

"We're gonna have sex on your bed, and make sure you know it."

"I take back everything you said, I will drive both of you anywhere on your dates. Leave my home alone."

[mariabtsos]

One That I Want ||m.yg|| - Chapter 10: Party Pooper

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Description: It is summer of 1956, and leader of the T-Birds Yoongi is working at a food joint at the beach to make extra money over the summer, when he meets a pretty girl. They start a summer fling that unfortunately had to come to end, but an unexpected turn of events will bring them back together.

Genre: 1950s au, angst, fluff, some smut, Greaser!Yoongi x Square/Goody-Two-Shoes!OC.

TW: underage drinking and smoking, sexual content, violence, misogyny (it’s the 1950s so peak macho man era).

Word Count: 1.3k+

It'd been about a month since Lottie’s first date with Taehyung, and she was absolutely pleased that it wasn't the only date. Taehyung had proven to be an absolute dreamboat!

It took a while, of course, for her to trust him, considering what she had been through with Yoongi, but Taehyung had never made her feel silly for it and had been incredibly understanding and sweet. Nayeon absolutely loved seeing her eyes light up whenever she would talk about her dates with the lovable jock, he would come study with them during lunch and actually cared enough to talk to all the girls, taking interest in her friends.

“You know the T-Birds have been saying for years that your brain is the size of a pea,” Kim stated, after they had all been conversing about what they wanted to do after school was done, and he had gone on to talk about wanting to be musician, and bake biscuits¹ just like Elvis.

“Yoongi hyung and I were close once, my best friend used to be Jimin,” Lottie listened closely she'd known who Jimin was, he was one of Yoongi's friends who'd made fun of her that fateful night.

“But when Yoongi created the T-Birds he and I started disagreeing a lot, I still wanted to be a part of clubs, and he didn’t so we went our separate ways,” he stared at the bleachers, where Lottie saw that same group they were speaking of.

“What about you and Jimin?” Jiyoon asked.

“When it came down to a choice he chose the group,” Taehyung shrugged.

Taehyung remembered when he and Jimin had made it to high school, how excited they had been to make the most of it. They had been inseparable since birth practically, Taehyung wanted so badly for them to become a duo with him, he could be the crooner, and Jimin had always loved cutting the rug. Unfortunately, they met Yoongi. It was so cool at first, he was a few months older than them and had come from a different middle school. He had offered to take them under his wing along with his friends.

But then they started to get in trouble.

Yoongi would take them places and have them watch fights, race, sometimes even engage in some petty theft, they started getting a reputation, and the very girls Lottie had befriended had just made a gang of their own, and the idea putting name to their fun sounded great to Yoongi. Jimin wanted nothing more than to impress Yoongi hyung, even if it cost him his friendship.

“Come on Taehyungie! Don't you wanna be cool?”

“I do, but not like this Jimin,” his whispers were stern, he looked at the boy sitting outside of his window holding out a black leather jacket, the logo was brand new, crisp.

Jimin was trying to convince him to sneak out, something about going to some party to establish themselves as a gang, Yoongi plans to rumble with a gang that had been giving them issues, and Taehyung wanted nothing to do with it.

“Come on, is it because you're still holding onto that silly crooner dream? Focus on something more attainable,” Jimin rolled his eyes, slowly pulling back the jacket. “I thought you wanted to do that too?” he asked his friend who looked more annoyed by the minute.

“Whatever, you’re such a cube, give me a bell when you realize I’m right.” Taehyung watched as Jimin walked away, they had disagreed before, but he guessed this is what came with growing up. He was still civil to them, he would wave politely at the group, he was usually met with eyerolls or snide comments, but he didn't care.

Nayeon was just moving through the motions. This whole beauty school thing wasn't going like she had planned. At first it was going well, she did good in her styling classes and her makeup classes, but then it got the more nitty gritty of it all and her classmates would BEG to do the project alone if other people were already paired together, Nayeon had never felt so alone, and she had started to wish she had stuck it out at her old school.

The one thing she had to look forward to was Jin waiting to walk her home.

To many, her and Jin came out of nowhere, especially once some members of the group found out about Jin’s brief infatuation with Lottie. There wasn’t a complicated explanation to it other than, it was brief, and seeing how heartbroken Yoongi was after the whole pep rally fiasco, he decided he would befriend one of the Pink Ladies so he could at least make sure Yoongi’s worries would be soothed.

One of those “I’ll check on the person you like through someone else.” What became of it was a slow building of tension and feelings. It started with Jin meeting Nayeon at her locker, before she dropped out, and walking her to class while asking about Lottie. Nayeon thought at first he was trying to get dirt on the situation, maybe even try and get in with the foreigner through her, Nayeon was no stranger to fellas talking to her to get to Miyeon or Kim. It’s not like she never had male suitors, she had made out with a few, but still, she needed to protect herself and Lottie.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay Nayeonie, it’s for Yoongi!” he pleaded as they walked down to her chemistry class.

“Oh, put an egg in your shoe and beat it Seokjin-ssi, the last thing Lottie needs is another germ from your group,” she paid him no mind, only staring straight ahead. “I want no part of whatever bogus situation Yoongi and Lottie got going on,” he clarified, “I’m going nowhere near that mess.” 

Nayeon stopped then, turning to Jin who was staring at her intently, “she’s fine, Taehyung is taking her on a date and she’s happy, now can I go? If I’m late again my folks will flip.” He nodded, and so it began. He would walk her to class everyday, eventually his daily Lottie questions became daily Nayeon questions, and she would catch herself laughing with Jin and enjoying his company. 

She was all mush when he came up to her the day of Lottie and Taehyung’s first date, and when he asked her to dance and started humming in her ear she felt like she could melt. The next week she started beauty school, and he would come and get her after almost everyday, he held her bags and would give her his jacket.

“How was it today?” He asked her after they spent the first half of the walk in silence. Nayeon smiled tightly.

“It was good, just need to practice more with mannequins,” Seokjin smiled sweetly, and wrapped his right arm around her shoulders.

“I’m sure all the chicks will want to come to you once you are done!”

Nayeon didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was failing her classes, or that she was almost kicked out of school that day, because she had messed up the color on one of the mannequins’ hair. The only reason she wasn’t was because her teacher had advocated for her, otherwise, she would’ve been waiting for Jin to pick her up for a while.

“I was thinking we could go to the passion pit later today? They just came out with this new movie that I think you’ll love! It’s about this group of guys who…” Nayeon started zoning out as they got closer to her house. She felt like an absolute failure, what could she possibly do? If she went back they would think of her as a loser, and if she didn’t what would she do? Pretend she was still going to beauty school? She was never a phony person, and she wasn’t going to start now. She’d give it another shot!

“Nayeonie?” Jin pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Passion pit sounds great!” Her signature bunny smile made Jin get the zorros each time. “I’ll pick you up at 8!” He kissed her cheek and waited for her to get in her house before he left, pumping his fists in the air with excitement.