#and how much effect the guy's death did to it ig

[rewh0re]

—968 words, angst, death, deep talks about life, cemeteries. yea ig that's it. yea also wrote this at 3 am guys i am mighty sleep deprived

a/n; atp I'm doing everything BUT studying or writing my gojo fic :D (gojo fic someday you'll see the light till then this megumi angst has to compensate for it) REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!!

megumi can never truly forget that memory.

he remembers clear blue skies and the occasional chirping of birds along with the flapping of their wings. white clouds slowly drifting in the air and dragonflies hovering over the grass. the trees were green and lush, the leaves gently rustling due to the cool breeze which could mean one thing alone—the advent of spring. there was a silence that washed his body with a strange type of peace, a peace he had never quite known, that he had just allowed himself to feel. and there was a presence—you—standing beside him, looking at the unknown grave, head tilted slightly and hands deep in your pockets.

he couldn't help but think—there was so much life bursting amidst a place that housed the dead.

megumi never liked cemeteries. they made him sad, unhappy, gloomy in a way. but you found a certain peace in them. to walk in silence, looking at the many graves—you had said it calmed one's soul. made one think. made one feel grateful for their life.

"it's almost amusing, don't you think?" you had asked, breaking your silence.

"dead people amuse you now?" megumi looked over at you to find you still looking at the grave. how could it ever be amusing to look at a stranger's grave? he swore that sometimes even you didn't understand what you were saying.

"no idiot," you shook your head, a little chuckle bursting out of your throat as your eyes locked with his.

"what i mean is," you sighed "that these people, they were people, like you and me. they had dreams and hopes and aspirations. they worked hard for their passions and hoped to achieve so much through their efforts. isn't it awful how many of these people might never have reached their dreams? their lives cut short as they were snatched away from their own loved ones?"

you ruffled your hair before crossing your arms, "i find it unfair. isn't it unfair? how you never know what will happen? how you, me—all of us—will just become another memory to be forgotten? how we'll just become dust, become one with the earth? our names, just some carvings on some stones and even then—everything will just go on as it is. life will go on. we're just lone stars burning out in the massive universe."

megumi could only look at you. you had that effect on him, rendering him speechless through your words alone. a few seconds passed before he finally found his voice again.

"well," he began, tone laced with a certain gentleness that only showed itself in your presence. "i see it more like the beauty of life. we're here and then we're not. we live and we love and we thrive and we falter. it's the way of life, or the rule of life, whatever you call it. i think that's why we have to make sure we make the most of it. life is unpredictable and that's what makes it so thrilling."

"i think you're right—well—in a way at least. i've learnt to cherish my life. i think with you by my side, i can stand strong and proud and i can live. i'm glad you found me and i found you and i'm glad that we're always by each other's side," you smiled up at him, nudging his shoulder.

"always?"

"always."

wasn't that the promise you made?

it was like looking through a glass window, so vividly was that day's image imprinted on his mind. he wanted to break that glass and take a hold of that memory and relive it again and again and again if it meant he could have you by his side. he definitely would do that if he could.

life is not really beautiful he learnt after he started visiting the cemetery more often. it was cruel, it was ruthless, it filled one with agony and suffering and pain. oh, so much pain.

he never looked at random graves anymore like he did before with you. no, he looked at just one. the name etched on the stone with a few leaves scattered at the base—l/n y/n.

it hurt, it truly did. through you, megumi learnt love and loss, he learnt heartbreak and grief and what it felt like to cry in the middle of the night wishing for you to hold him close and whisper i'm here. you never were though, you wouldn't be there anymore, you wouldn't cradle him and card your fingers softly through his hair or wipe his tears or kiss his worries away. you wouldn't and that was reality and he had to live with that reality.

megumi learnt through you how promises were only made to be broken—knowingly or unknowingly.

but you taught him how to love and to be loved, how to find beauty and peace in the mundane, how to dream big and how to care, to be kind.

he loved you but he had to let you go. alas, you wouldn't want him to be stuck, frozen in a place where darkness loomed and nothing but sheer heartache reigned supreme. maybe it was true that a part of him was gone. maybe it was true that he would never feel truly and completely whole again. but he could swear your ghost would curse at him if he didn't at least try to move forward.

so he laid a bouquet of white carnation at the base of your grave, uttering a silent prayer.

"always." he brought his index and middle finger to his lips and then placed it on the top of the headstone before standing up, burying his hands deep in his coat pockets.

"always." he whispered, letting his words get carried by the air before turning around to walk away.

[adilynnyuri]

So - I am here again ;-) - first at all I want to thank you again and tell you how grateful I am to have you by my side on my journey - your advise and own experiences help me so much, they boost my mindset and help me to move on. Although I am so thankful that you talk about revision of death with me and the other two guys sharing my revision journey - it's so tremendously helpful for me and when I am doubting I often come back to all that stuff over and over again and it gives me hope and power to persist. Your words are so eye-opening for me and they really hit my crucial issues.

As you answered to the other person who shares my journey, incase of revising death the pivotal issue are our deep programmes (assumptions!) about death. So these programmes always popup as intrusive thoughts. You always highlight that it doesn't matter if we feel bad when affirming. So do you think that by moving on with robot affirming resistance decreases over time or is it possible to saturate your mind although sometimes there are these thoughts? I try to get better and better in robot affirming and I really see progress. I feel much less resistance and I noticed that I more often have reallly good feelings. But then sometimes it hits down in my stomach and these intrusive programmes pop up again...So I dont know if this will affect my manifestation.

It also hit me that you answered me that if I assume that "revising death is a piece of cake process - then it will be!" You have literallly scanned my mind! ;-) Yes - I assume that it's a BIG deal and so it will take a QUANTUM step. So you really unlocked one of my cornerstone assumtions and now I feel some first progess of letting go this belief!

One big issue I also deal with is that I lived together with my mum, so I miss her in my daily life and so much things remind me of the loss. Also other people remind me. I then actually try to say to myself that this isn't my reality and keep affirming then. But in these moments instrusive thoughts become stronger and I feel that this triggers my doubtring and wavering regarding the naturalness. Do you have some advise to manage this in a less wavering way? How did you do it with your uncle? And how your uncle first appeared in your 3D again or was this so fluent that you can't describe this?

When it comes to affirming and saturating: I affirm: "Mum is healthy, happy and right by my side." I will add the "Creator-Formula" ;-) you advised to use (I think it will be very helpful to build up a better self concept...). I visualize occasionally and during the day I sometimes shortly remind little splits of my visualizations: I then often say to myself: "I am looking forward when we can do X or Y. " or "I have to tell you so many things." Is this future relation in these statements ok in this case or should I adapt that to a more "present" tense wording?

And as a last question: If my biggest wish is the revision, but I would like to adapt some other circumstances around to create a more comfortable and relaxed life for us: Would it be more effective to first focus on the revison and then manifest these other things later on? Or doesnt it matter, so that I can add some other affiormations I want to become true? So the question is here, if it is more effective to first manifest the biggest wish or if it just doesnt matter and we can directly add some further affirmations for other things/circumstances? Does it matter how much time we affirm for a change?

Thanks again - my angel - you are so kind!

Hii love! 🤍

I am so so happy that you understood what I said and also implemented that into your reality!! PROUD OF YOU BABE! 💋

HOW DID MY MANIFEST MY COOL UNCLE BACK (ANOTHER VAUNT ABOUT MY UNCLE 🤭)

Ig the overall question of you is how to stop wavering. The answer is very simple - affirm

Everything is so simple babe!

As you already know,

Dominant thoughts = your actual reality

I understand that wavering comes up when you are "trying" To manifest something "bigger" But no shit is bigger for you to manifest.

The only thing bigger is the power you hold to manifest anything you want!

I suggested robotic affirmations because I manifested my uncle back with robotic affirmations.

"How your uncle first appeared in your 3d"

Well, simple. Everyone was grieving for his loss everyday and i was sitting and affirming that he ain't dead🤓☝🏻

Literally bruh, everyday some people will come to my home and will remind me about his loss!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK☝🏻

Kept affirming, affirming and affirming that i got my shit and all the negative shit goes to trash. No intrusive thoughts can affect me!

Even I was missing him alot coz he was my favorite uncle ever.... Used to buy me lot of kpop related stuffs + his character and personality is *chefs kiss*

As I was robotically affirming (i don't really remember how many days) and ig it took me about a week to saturate my mind. And boom! Within few days, he just walked into my home like nothing have never happened and bought me chocolates too! 💀

All of my family members were not surprised when he walked into my home and everyone was just casually inviting him.

*Meanwhile me 👁👄👁 knowing that manifested him back with just affirming*

But i was not shocked. (I was shocked) 😭

BUT IT LASTED ONLY FEW SECONDS THEN AGAIN I REMINDED MYSELF THAT I AM THE MASTER OF THIS REALITY.

And because of this "big manifestation" I became more STRONGER like SO MUCH STRONGER!

Me be like "nobody can stop me here afterwards"

🦹‍♀️🦸🏻‍♀️

[frownyalfred]

How much violence do you think Batman should be able to get away with and still remain a hero or vigilante while also not losing his characterization?

There are times where no lives are in immediate danger and he only needs to get information but then he just casually breaks bones, effectively torturing someone. Like in the videogames Telltale Batman or the Arkham games' verse or even the movies and comics where he dishes out way more violence than necessary. That scene where he threatens to crush a guy's head with the Batmobile and actually has the car start rolling over his head, cracking it slightly. Or the interrogation of Eli in the Telltale game where Batman can pretty much brutalize and torture an already frightened criminel if the player so chooses. Or the comics, where he sometimes says he enjoys hurting criminals and sends them to the ER without a second thought.

Also, do his kids know just how brutal Bruce can be on a Tuesday just cause he feels like a criminel deserves it? After a patrol, he'll reprimand them for breaking someone's collarbone or if he thinks they took it too far even though he does that all the time. It's not like the Batkids never do it themselves, but when they do, they're mostly in extremely emotional states and not a cold clinical mindset. One could argue Jason and Cass are exessively violent too but, well, Jason is an anti-hero (or villain) and Cass is still learning how far is too far.

And if the kids didn't know/realise, what would happen if they saw a recording of Batman absolutely dismantling a criminal in a detached sort of way (maybe a rogue maybe not, whatever would be worse ig) and then having to reconcile that that's the man who's like a father to them.

It's a very interesting question, and I suspect you'll get a different answer from everyone you ask.

My take is that it comes down to two things: intention and likelihood. Bruce's line for injury/torture/death sits somewhere between probably won't kill them or cause grievous injury and could cause death or grievous injury.

Throwing a guy off a high-up roof isn't just likely to kill someone, it was likely intended to do so. As we see in Batman Begins, you can throw someone off a (low) roof and not kill them, without the intention of killing them, and without the high likelihood of the act killing them.

Breaking a man's leg for information probably won't kill him, but it could! The break could be done wrong, or heal wrong, and cause a blood clot that killed the man. But was breaking the man's leg intended to kill him? Was it done with full knowledge that the break would likely result in death? Is that something a reasonable individual can even evaluate on their own?

The argument can be made that hitting someone in the head could result in death. So is Bruce risking his no-kill rule on a technicality when he punches people into walls? Does dying from a complicated TBI years later count?

I find the branding example in BVS a fascinating discussion of this point. Bruce doesn't kill the men he brands, but he effectively sets the men up to be killed in prison. Is it the same? Does he intend for the brand to kill the men? Does he have knowledge of the likelihood of death as a result of his brand? Does Lex's meddling actually change any of that when it's revealed later?

The third thing I haven't brought up but that you did is Bruce's enjoyment/active participation in all of this. Does he hurt people because it's effective? Is it ever gratuitous? Is he detached from the suffering he causes, viewing it as a means to an end? Does Gotham play by different rules -- i.e., is torture and grievous bodily injury ever acceptable in Gotham when it wouldn't be in other cities? Is Bruce a man willing to do what it takes at the end of his rope, or is he a man who resorts to violence when there are still other viable options? Somewhere in between?

I do agree that, with the addition of Robins and other family members, the violence likely tones down unless absolutely necessary. Hurting people shouldn't be enjoyable, but it is downright painful for some people (not Bruce) to witness firsthand.

[otherworldy-insect]

hey guys….. i redesigned moruka a tad bit….. (i wanted it to look a little more “zoralike”… idk it looked way too much like its in game counterpart)

anyways infodump below cut:

(also i already have been gushing about this fanfic for like. idk how long but uhhh most of the info was based off of this ig??? + the peepaw fanfic…)

8 years prior to the attack of the Calamity, Astor found Sakiru in the Spirit Temple, and introduced him to the Blights (who have personalities for some reason in this au…)

Moruka was just an infant at the time, too.

Sakiru grew close to the Temple Bosses very quickly, and they developed a “Grandfather-Grandchildren” dynamic.

I don’t know how the Temple Scourges/Blights lived for the 100 years it took for Link to awaken LMAOOOO (but im assuming it’s magic)

Because the Blights were conspiring with the Yiga Clan to resseruct Calamity Ganon (The Blights were actually looking for Ganondorf. They are aware that the Calamity is a leak from the seal holding Ganondorf, but can’t locate the source), the Temple Scourges were practically members of the Yiga Clan.

Moruka doesn’t have bones lol

Also, Moruka does still have its muck shark form, except it’s much more “zora-like” (I was too lazy to draw a reference)

After the Blights were defeated by Link (They die just like they do in the OG game. lol karma), the Temple Bosses were very well aware of their parent’s deaths. The death of the Blights motivated them to find Ganondorf.

They succeeded, doing what the Blights could not. However, it wasn’t until the Upheaval that Ganondorf broke from his seal.

Shortly afterwards, Ganondorf SOMEHOW communicated to them, he saw potential in the Temple Bosses. He then tasked them with seizing the Sacred Stones, to spread his influence.

They of course, did, their powers amplifying to the point where it can affect whole regions. However, the power of the Sacred Stones mutated the Temple Bosses (example: Gyba used to look like a normal Gerudo, but taking the Sacred Stone caused her to gain buglike traits, and a vulnerability to the elements.)

Moruka’s mutation was less on the outside and more internal, their bodies producing excessive muck, causing it to throw up muck occasionally. It’s also quite painful for it, and sometimes causes breathing difficulties

After Link defeated the Temple Scourges with the Sages, they died and became resurrected by the Blood Moon, becoming effectively immortal until Ganondorf dies.

However, Sakiru was the only Scourge to not get resurrected by Ganondorf. Obviously, the Scourges were literally depressed post-TOTK. (i mean… their dads are dead, so their grandpa had to adopt them… and he fucking died too lmao)

[aluria-sevhex]

posting's been more infrequent because i feel like i've hit a bit of a harder spot with figuring shit out and also have had less mental energy ig :P

update: fuck man it's been like over a week since i intended to post this and i also feel bad for not doing art fight stuffs or working on other projects... what not leaving the house much for a few weeks does to an mf apparently:

[Hi stardust!~ All of the posts in this series can be found in this masterpost and are tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)]

notes:

-i'm back bitch :3

-waiting for it to load and the sweet sweet title theme to hit my ears

-YEAHHHHHHHH

-i always let it finish :3

-time to help everybody

-this time i decided to ask Charline for the book. Odile now thinks Sif is sus! which. yeah.

-"You don't have to remember to yell" :(

-hehe Sif is now asking Loop if they have any theories on the loops

-"Your name is LITERALLY 'Loop'."

-"Don't you 'teehee' me."

-yeah! why don't time freeze skills count as death!

-"what if you loop when something keeps you from advancing?" good theory, but what about the loops where i got stuck in the house on floor 3? i didn't immediately loop back... then again there are the small few-minute loops...

-O_O. HANG OUT WITH LOOP???

-yeah sure i didn't really have any plans for this loop

-i climbed the tree and uh. this music is kinda ominous

-how did Loop 'kind of' know about Sif before they met?

-why did Loop choose to help Sif?

-Loop is stuck with Siffrin... and seems to have been in a time loop before?

-guys i don't think Loop is fine

-yeah Loop tell me about YOU

- >:P

-what'll happen- OH. LOOP. BRUH.

-"it makes you see something, doesn't it?" yeah. "you see a vision of the future"

-Sif is breaking down :(

-SIFFRIN JUST PULLED OUT THEIR DAGGER

-hm. why did i loop if i didn't die?

-aight time to talk to Isabeau

-i love this scene

-...everybody is suspicious of my apparent grace and good attacking skills ._.

-"I'm as tall as you, Mira..."

Mira: looks at their shoes

-funny how Isa's 'worst-case scenario' for uses of Time Craft is... exactly what Siffrin is doing

-inverted Six of Pentacles?

-ah yes. a pit-iful experience

-after i checked the gardening closet, Odile said something's weird...

-checked the book and Isa noticed something off

-i've been trying to make things as suspicious as possible

-hm... what *is* the deal with the book in the secret library? with the tree on the cover and it's in the headache language

-...the book on shields has the weird sugar smell?

-i feel like shields that reflect attacks will become important later

-what if things that have been tampered with all smell like Time Craft? like the various equipment that you can pick up? and that's part of the weirdness?

-sheesh, Tear You Apart is really effective

-bathroom again

-Sif is once again claiming they're fine

-huh. i didn't see the ghost this time

-tried to sharpen the keyknife. Isa made a comment about Sif usually saying something when he sharpens things, but he can't remember

-hm... where would i find carving tools

-"In this moment, you are loved."

"(Because you forced them to.)" FUCK THAT'S. OOF.

-*sighs* time to talk to Euphrasie again

-the others noticed me again...

-"in this moment, she loves you!"

"in this moment, he loves you!"

"in this moment, they love you!"

"in this moment, she loves you!"

FUCK.

-Sif's sad hollow smile and big eye...

-"they all love you!"

"isn't it wonderful"

"you could do this forever!!!"

-"you're happy to have helped everyone become the best versions of themselves again!"

-lol Sif called Loop awkward

-"because you're what's left" of what???

-Sif is level 75 now...

-stopping for now

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Hiii Mickey! B4 I request smt I just wanna congratulate you on 500 (u deserve sm more) your writing is literally heaven. Shakespeare who? 🤔 Anyway, b4 I completely forget what I came to request and start yapping on about how ur a literature god, may I pls req jealously hc on SitH characters?

Sincerely,

friedrichswifegirlfriendfiancesidechick

── SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS!

Synopsis: Headcanons about how some of the SitH boys act when they are jealous.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Colt x Reader, Friedrich x Reader, Hadrian x Reader, Marek x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Content Warnings: 3/4 of these characters are ocs from a specific fic i wrote so that ig?? also friedrich is a menace but what's new

A/N: you're too sweet anon AHAH thank you so much!! i can't believe you like sith sm that you want to request for it...that's actually so crazy to me but means sm thank you again!! i wasn't sure which characters you wanted so i just did my favs hehe

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

Colt Grice

i think he would be the pouty type of jealous if that makes sense

like he's not going to say anything outright but he lowkey acts like a child

becomes super clingy in the moment

afterwards is all like "why don't you love me anymore 🙁"

"what does he have that i don't 🙁🙁🙁”

he's cute about it though like you can't even be mad at him because he's genuinely so worried that you like this other person more

definitely would try not to make it your problem though like he recognizes that it's his own issue to deal with so he's not going to get upset with you just for talking to someone

will probably refer to himself as your boyfriend in front of whoever he's jealous of just so that they know their place and he WILL be petty about it

he's a pretty chill guy overall so i don't think he would be too horrible but he definitely has his moments of insecurity and doubt

would not hesitate to fight a man if you expressed that you were majorly uncomfortable though. he literally goes to the gym JUST to be able to beat a man up if necessary

otherwise though he trusts you to handle it

just be prepared for him to be extra affectionate afterwards

Friedrich Visser

unlike his best friend he turns into a supervillain if he's jealous

like friedrich 99% of the time is this sweet, adoring boyfriend (setting aside how sassy he is and how much he definitely teases you)

he jokes around a lot and is relatively unserious most of the time so you literally get whiplash when a guy starts flirting with you and all of a sudden your goofy bf is replaced with his evil twin

he's very tall and he will use that to full effect

modern au friedrich is a boxer so he gets bonus intimidation points for that and canon friedrich is a warrior candidate so at that point any guy might as well give up LMAOAO

he's also creepy looking (STILL HANDSOME GUYS I PROMISE HE'S HANDSOME HE JUST HAS A CREEPY VIBE TO HIM THAT FREAKS PEOPLE OUT) and normally he wishes he was more approachable but now?? it's exactly what he needs

he'll start whispering quietly in a foreign language and the person thinks he's cursing their bloodline (he's literally just reciting the irregular verbs in the preterite tense in spanish)

a glarer. he has a crazy death stare and he will take advantage of it

creates such an inhospitable atmosphere that the person literally just runs away out of fear

then he's back to his regular self and asks if you want a sweet treat or something

he's paying ofc because he's the best boyfriend in the world and you could never dream of wanting someone else. right??? 🤨🤨🤨

Hadrian Amata

to be honest i cannot see him being jealous or at least acting like he is

he is far and away the most emotionally mature person on this list (and probably in the entire sith-verse tbh)

like if someone is hitting on you he'll literally agree with them and tell them he thinks you’re pretty too

he might hold your hand or hug you or something in front of them just so that they leave you alone, but that's about the extent of it i think

he’s not a pushover though. if someone isn't taking a hint he will tell them to leave and then escort you away himself because he doesn't want you to have to deal with that kind of bs

he was raised with a sister so he knows better than to be possessive or controlling

he wouldn't want someone treating xanthe like that so he's not about to treat you like that yk??

major green flag but that was to be expected from him

Marek Birdwhistle

this depends on what universe we're looking at

if it's a modern au where he doesn't get scarred or pre-athyae then he's funny and lighthearted about it

he is canonically the best looking character in the story (besides y/n) pre-athyae incident so if we're talking about a world where he doesn't get tortured and whatnot then honestly just the sight of him near you will be enough for people to back off

like no wayyy are they flirting with you when MAREK BIRDWHISTLE is right there

honestly you might be the one who gets jealous i bet he gets mad bitches 😭

but he pretty much ignores all of them...he only really has eyes for you so although he's friendly to anyone he'll (very politely) reject anyone who makes serious moves

if someone does have the guts to approach you he'll lowkey judge them

he's going to be subtle about it but he won't hesitate to point out their flaws and ruin their self-confidence

now if this is in canon, especially post-athyae...i don't think he gets jealous necessarily because he literally just hates himself so much that it would only make sense if you want someone else

i’m not going to describe his injuries in this because they're pretty horrific and you’ve all read the chapter but yeah. he genuinely does not believe that you love him when he looks like that

he went from constantly being praised for being handsome to people being horrified by half of his face (which is generally kept bandaged but still) so it is a HUGE change for him

he would require reassurance that you are with him for more than just his appearance and that you don't find him hideous at all

omg pls be nice to him fr he deserves better i think the only characters who can claim to be treated as poorly by the narrative as him are the haas twins 😔

[stars-n-spice]

I have a lot of thoughts regarding the first three episodes that are bouncing around my brain and I'm going to try and wrangle them up here in this post-

They will probably not be coherent or in order of the episodes or what happened but they're thoughts-

Spoilers for TBB S3 under the cut!

Hemlock is such a dickwad, holy shit. What a great antagonist, kriffing hell. When he made threats to hurt Crosshair in response to Omega's disobedience?? FUCK.

Crosshair and Omega my beloveds,, they have my hearts, I love them so much

Crosshair's shaky hands. I can see the floodgates of all the angsty art and fics that are going to come out of that. IT AFFECTING HIS AIM??? Gods above- If we get a scene of someone holding his hands while they're shaking I'm going to lose it

I'm a fucking clown for thinking we'd get Crosshair's reaction to the news of Tech's death. Absolutely CLOWN. Like they didn't give us Echo's reaction to Fives, of course they wouldn't give us Crosshair's to Tech's

Speaking of Tech,,, I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that special trooper in all black is totally him,, right?? The scrawny ass legs?? The goggles on the helmet?? Fuck,, I even think I saw the guy limp away.. It HAS to be him

THEY HAVE A DOG NOW!!! That's so sweet :(

You guys do not understand the immediate reaction I had to seeing Omega older with the new hairstyle (which I love). Fucking burst out into tears at the sight

Nala Se is so dead. So dead. I've never seen a more deader alive character than Nala Se.

Also my hopes for Emerie helping them or turning out good or something went down the drain :(

OMEGA IS FORCE SENSITIVE??? like,, that's what they're implying right??? They wanna have DNA or whatever to make Palp clones yeah??? Is that were this is going??? FUCK.

On that note, if she IS force sensitive I really really really wanna see Asajj helping her out with that because I think that would be fucking NEAT

Omega making a Lula doll out of straw took me out :( I was holding my own Lula plushie and crying

Crosshair is such a little shit. I love how he was trying to dissuade Omega from escaping with him by saying shit like, "If I got the chance, I'd leave you behind" and the moment that Omega's like, "I've got a plan" he's like "What do I do?"

Them hijacking a whole squad's ship was fucking hilarious though, get fucked

"Tech had me memorize all the plans." - "Of course he did." <- bawling my eyes out.

SO DOES THIS MEAN WE HAVE TO WATCH OMEGA GET CAPTURED AGAIN?!?!

OK ONTO THE ADVENTURES OF HUNTER AND WRECKER

ECHO ALREADY FUCKING LEFT??? <- i knew we wouldn't get like,, a conversation or a reason,, it would just be he left off screen and we've got to deal with that

Echo my love come back :(

On another note,, Wrecker and Hunter's beat up armor is such a good look but also ouch because it shows all the shit they've been through since the last season

Y'all don't understand how great it is to see my man again (Wrecker ily so much)

SPEAKING OF MY MAN!! The little,, fucking touches of reassurance he kept giving Hunter?? How he was being a voice of reason?? making sure Hunter didn't do anything reckless?? :((

I know that man is tired and he's trying so hard to hold the last remaining bits of their squad together and it hurts so bad but I love him so much for it

Clone Cadets :(( they don't really look like clones though :/ but to be expected ig....

THEY'RE GONNA TAKE THEM TO PABU :((((

the lula and tech's goggle shots took me out

Hunter fumbling around with Tech's datapad :(((

Wrecker carrying Gonky upside down with the harness was fucking amazing, oh my god

"Defective AND effective" DAMN RIGHT YOU TELL HIM 여보!!!

'slither vines' fucking ass name

makes you wonder what else hemlock is cookin up

Wrecker laughing and talking with the clone cadets :(

GONKY TO THE RESCUE

Either next episode we're going to get Hunter & Wrecker back on Pabu or continuation of Omega and Crosshair crashing their ship somewhere and Omega potentially being captured again and Crosshair eventually being reunited with Hunter & Wrecker (pretty please)

Anyways,, thankfully the episodes weren't as devastating as I thought they would be but I know it's only going to get worse from here before it (hopefully) gets better.

[rei-does-stuff]

watched anymore episodes of the dub?

Yup! 4 eps! So this’ll be long!

SaH dub

Ep 7

-Bad voice acting strikes again!! They just can’t get it right

-They made Goseum a girl, #feminism???

-Please…Please stop using the same track over and over again I KNOW YOU HAVE DIFFERENT MUSIC PLEASE USE IT

-Drowing your enemies! You know, for kids!!!

-AGAIN WHY ARENT THEY CENSORING GEUM STABBING A GUY???

-They made Geum straight </3 this is so sad

-They talk about freedom so much…You are not the wolves Geum, you are no freedom loving American!!

-Also…Giving Geum a backstory of “oh I enrolled in the military with her blah blah blah” feels weird, ig just cuz im used to his regular backstory

-Everytime I hear Mul’s voice in this I wanna kill myself it’s so fucking irritating like HOW DO YOU MAKE IT THAT BAD??

-“You kidnapped me for no good reason!” Like theres a GOOD reason to kidnap someone???

-Geum is a TERRIBLE liar in this, how the hell is he staying undercover??

-Goseum being a badass girlboss is pretty cool tho ngl

-Even here Jogjebi is like “Geum is my bestie he would never hurt meee”

-Goseum is only good voice actor in this whole show

-“I wanna shoot something!” Lmao

-“What is he talking abt” EVEN THEYRE CONFUSED

-THEY TOOK THE HOMOEROTICISM OUT OF THE GOSEUM-GEUM BOUQUET SCENE I HATE THIS

-AGAIN WITH THEY JUST CUT TO THE CREDITS??

-Also I’m rewatching some of these in 2x speed and it’s…Very Very funny but it also makes me see how slow paced the dub makes everything feel, in the original the slow pace works but the dub just fucks it up in a way that I can’t really describe

Ep 8

-“My boy!” They are so father-soncore

-Again the untranslated Korean, 4kids was able to at least remove Japanese text why can’t you?

-This is NOT a battle of wills everyone here is dumb as rocks

-Geum im so sorry they dont know your character like I do </3

-I do like aekkus voice in this ngl…

-Mul is ALWAYS having a bad day NO MATTER WHAT!!

-“I promise well stop acting stupid”

They are all so brothercore in this too I do like it ngl

-“Well if you say so” THAT QUICKLY??

-The way they cut to the next scene is insane…

-The quality shifts is insane

-END AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME FOR ONCE

Ep 9

-Oh god the Goseumdochi death ep…

-Rodia’s voice is different AND bad wtf…Why did they ruin the only good voice actor

-Beautiful sound effects…Don’t you just love the horrible mixing of everything?

-“Oh no, its broken” you sound SO devastated Rodia

-Dan green once again explains what’s happening on screen

-They removed a lot of context for this too

-NO SONG EITHER :(

-“Without weaponry” EXCUSE ME??? HAVE YOU MET GOSEUMDOCHI??

-“Fight for freedom” things Geum would never say

-Again with the quality shifts…

-“You talking to me little rat??” iconic

-Terror? He’s barely done shit!!

Ep 10

-JOEY WHEELER?? FROM YUGIOH???

-JUL! Time for the “were brothers!” Censorship!

-His voice….I dont like it….

-NOT THIS MUSIC—

-Not the running sounds 😭

-Bad video quality strikes again

-Again no translation of korean text

-Not the yellow filter coming back with a vengeance 😭

-Now daramis a girl??? Transgenderism…omg

Overall they suck, had some funny moments tho so ykyk, rlly recommend watching it on 2x speed makes it WAY more tolerable

[cladestruction]

so: i am literally going insane waiting for the movie to drop so here's a list of stuff i'd love to see in it (a bitch can dream !).

to my fellow metalocalypse enthusiasts: i'd love to see your army of the doomstar bingo cards!

FLASHBACKS!!! please give me flashbacks of young dethklok, i live for those

Toki's insulin shots and Pickles' inhaler. idk, those are very important to me lol

more of Nathan's creative process !!! let me see my man cook and struggle with the new responsibility of the song of salvation! (plus: how the rest of the boys collaborate with the writing/composing)

+ BONUS POINTS if it goes wrong at some point and we get to see some extra challenge for Nathan as a man AND as a lyricist

Skwisgaar being protective over Toki !!! give me that good worried boyfriend bandmate stuff !!!

Murderface-centric scenes that show us more of him: his upbringing, builtup trauma and psychology

+ Murderface full breakdown scene bc i love drama! the man has gone thru a lot and obviously deals with low self-esteem and emotional issues, and now he's dealing with a demon/posession??? i want to see tears i want to see blood!

something with their families. maybe some of them die as the metalocalypse advances + the boys' reaction to this

i really want the beginning of the movie to clear up what exactly happened post dsr (mordhaus security? how are the fans doing? etc) and how the band is doing without Charles

(this is very biased i'm sorry) nickles moments !!! please let me see them being band dads, or more of them being best of friends post reconciliation (UPDATE: i can settle for nickles angst too but pLEASE let me see Nathan be kinder to Pickles at the end please i'm literally begging)

SOBER PICKLES !!! considering this movie could possibly be more action driven or smth like that, i really wish we could see Pickles being sober and focused

the boys' reaction to their god-moment in dsr (do they even remember? what did it feel like? do they get to keep the powers all the time or how does it work? what even are their powers exactly lmao? etc)

spirit animals throwback yes please

more elaboration on the cave paintings and symbols tied to the band and the prophecy shown throughout the series

+ UPDATE: BONUS POINTS IF WE GET TO SEE DETHKLOK IN ARMOR AND WITH WEAPONS AS SHOWN IN THE STAINED GLASS YES PLEASE

band hugs. yes this is solely for my own happiness, nothing else

considering the clips, i really want Nathan to realize and say how much he values dethklok. he's stated how much he'd like to be a regular guy so i wold love to see him saying smth like "i never wanted any of this responsability!" but later on state that he does in fact value dethklok and would not have it any other way :') (yes it's fucking cheesy, ik)

rockso is back but as a ghost. he serves the only purpose of helping us see inside Toki's mind and shit

Murderface solo song/a very badass bass solo. i'd love to see him being better at performing as a side effect of the posession or something like that. that would also show a new appeal to him falling for the dark side

A CHARLES' SONG !!! specially with goth-religious kinda vibes or smth

MORE MAGNUS' FLASHBACKS

Knubbler being central to solve the conflict with Murderface

scenes with Jean-Pierre. it would be epic and you know it !

a near death experience with someone of the band. y'know, to help with the tension and the stakes. bonus points if it's while trying to save someone else of the band (my idea is something involving drowining, it'd be cool)

the battle with Salacia goes wrong at first. they're losing or they straight up lose and at the last minute they get to revert it with the power of friendship and shit

Nathan getting glimpses of how having a normal life would be (bonus points if we see Abigail as part of his fantasies of the dream life) but, in the end, he chooses dethklok (sorry Abigail babygirl ily). ig it could go both ways too, with Nathan getting to have both things at the end (the girl AND the band)

the boys FINALLY getting to care for the fans/the klokateers and showing concern over them dying!!! (like c'mon man, it's about time)

[pharawee]

I honestly expected the Chains of Heart finale to go the usual route and have Din and Ken reunite at the very end.

Maybe they will. They hinted at it by mentioning the 7th day of the 7th month (so I was kind of right with them meeting one year later on 7th July - it's an open ending but I'll take it).

But maybe this was never what the series was about in the first place.

This is what the CoH ig posted tonight:

"Love and separation are the truth of life. No one will stay together forever. Live happily and love the best before it's too late."

Ouch. 🥲

But yeah, Din and Ken loved each other for seven years, but then Din chose duty over love (a duty that wasn't even his to begin with) and they both paid the price.

And then, when he and Ken miraculously survived, he did it again. And again. And again. Right up until the very end when he shot the man who - did what exactly? Shot him first two years ago? Because the way I see it police had things well under control. They didn't need a rookie forest ranger then and they sure as hell didn't need an unhinged vigilante killing key witnesses left and right now.

Sure, Inspector Don probably appreciated the intel (guess he wasn't that much of a good guy after all - he was just pragmatic) but he could have done without it. I guarantee you that if Din had chosen to walk away on that day two years ago, Chief Ingpha would have been arrested sooner or later (would it have stuck? who knows. but that's beside the point).

And remember this bit?

I always thought Din was just being playful here (with fate immediately accepting the challenge lmao) but now I think part of him was always like this. Part of him always chose to "let go of his loved one's hand."

The tragedy of it all is that none of it was even necessary. That he put his family and Ken in danger. That he caused them grief. That he chose to surround himself with people who enabled him and deliberately excluded everyone else. Injustice didn't make him that way. He made himself that way.

And I wonder if he even realises that he's smiling when he takes his revenge.

And I wonder if he realises that he's risking his sister's life by duelling Ingpha with her right in the middle (when family is the reason for his revenge in the first place). By that point he's so consumed with wanting Ingpha dead that he doesn't even check on her as soon as it's safe to do so.

Not even Ken is able to stop him until it's too late.

And it's the shame of Ken seeing him for who he's become that snaps him out of it. Because by choosing to pursue his revenge he's effectively destroyed himself and any chance of a future together (something that even Ingpha didn't manage to do).

So in the end I wonder if Ken not recognising Din was ever about his appearance at all. Because by that point he'd already turned himself into a human ship of Theseus (only more monstrous - because remember he'd already killed several people in cold blood), ridding himself of everything that made Din... well, Din.

And how do you recognise, how do you love someone who's become a stranger?

That being said, I love this show despite its very messy script and overly confusing scene/character hopping. I appreciate what they were trying to do and how ambitious they were with their action sequences and cinematography. Plus, the costumes and make-up were ON. POINT.

I'm not even a little sad we didn't get a happy ending (although I like to believe they'll meet again on 7th July). The whole "I am the architect of my own destruction" trope is a favourite of mine and Boom's (and Haii's) acting made it work beautifully. My heart is so full for Din and Ken. If only they had access to therapy and grief counselling. 🥲

A few other things:

I wonder if Din's mum really recognised him or if her tears were for a memory. I like how it's kept ambiguous.

Doctor Chayeon having the nerve to look shocked when he's part of the reason why things turned out this way. And all because the real Peter Lue's death would have probably cost him his career. Obviously that's far more important than any kind of ethical dilemma (where's even the dilemma? Maybe just don't 3D-print someone a new face so they can commit crime).

Hin and Phayu might as well not have been in this ep at all. We were robbed. 😭 But I actually like how Ken was barely in this ep either - if only to show how distant he had become from Din.

Not Sai still buying into Din's bullshit even one year later. I know I said that I wanted Ken and Din to meet again but damn.

That scene when Din took off his gloves was seriously such a strong moment for me. Maybe I'm overthinking things but for him to wear gloves throughout (almost) the whole show and then taking them off at precisely this moment? And little his smile? That was so good.

I like to think Chief Ingpha died wondering wtf was even going on.

I also like to think that whatever evidence Din had gathered on that recording device didn't even matter because between the organ harvesting and the illegal logging, what more do you need to arrest him?

And I'm really curious if the novel has the same ending. I doubt it but I'll let you know as soon as I find out.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for killing a guy?

So where I grew up was like all culty, out in the woods, isolated, don’t like outsiders and such. Everyone there sucks. My whole life I tried to prove myself to them but they just weren’t having it. I was a weird little freak and they didn’t know my mom and my dad left so ig that just made me defective or something. Anyways, my big day finally came where I could prove myself without it being subjective opinion or anything. Just plain and simple black and white. Nothing complicated about it. The new second in command was going to be chosen.

How that works is anyone who wants to try to get the newly opened position can volunteer to go in the fight pit basically. Everyone who volunteers goes in at the same time and it’s a big fight to the death (or until forfeit). The only rules once you’re in there basically are: you can’t leave the pit without forfeiting, you can’t kill someone who has forfeited and must allow them to safely leave the pit, you can’t un-forfeit, and the last one remaining gets to be second in command. Very simple rules, no one ever breaks them cuz there’s so few and stuff. People also tend to forfeit rather than die and most people don’t wanna kill the people they grew up with so there doesn’t tend to be as much deatb as you’d think there would be in a “fight to the death.”

Anyways, the big day. I volunteer ofc cuz then if I win, everyone will have to respect me and see me for my skills and how much I’ve trained and everything. My two former best friends (they don’t know what the internet is so I can use their names, haha (ooc: these are ocs. Using names won’t spoil any media or anything). Python F and Leaf M. I basically grew up with them. Python stole the job I had wanted for my whole life tho so I hated her a bit and then the two of them stopped talking to me and pretended we were never friends) also volunteered for the fight. Yayyy… Also I overheard them plotting before the actual fight. Python didn’t even want to become second in command. She was just helping Leaf become second in command so he could impress his stupid mom (she sucks. And that’s not just my opinion, like she objectively sucks. Not the point tho). I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed, but the rules say nothing about it so whatever. I didn’t say anything and it’s not like anyone would listen to me anyways. I’m still pissed about it tho

Fight happens, blah blah, long story short, I dropped some big rocks that were like loose along the walls of the pit on Leaf and the person he was fighting, which would be fine and dandy except for the fact that right as I did so and couldn’t stop the rocks from falling anymore, the guy Leaf was fighting forfeitted, making it so I *technically* killed someone who forfeitted and therefore not only eliminating me, but also getting me sentenced tl the death tunnels (exactly what it sounds like) cuz I killed someone I wasn’t allowed to and yk, murder is bad and all. Then freaking Python got second in command, stealing the job I wanted for a second time, but not only that! Her role was effective immediately. She just watched as I was taken away to the death tunnels and didn’t say a word. Didn’t use her new role to even *try* to save her childhood best friend. Like yeah, I hate her guts, but I find it hard to believe that I’d just stand by and watch her get sentenced to the tunnels without a single word. And everyone says I’m the heartless one! She didn’t even want the job!! If she saved me and everything got cleared up and I wasn’t found to be guilty of illegal murder, I could have taken the job she didn’t want anyways. I could be second and everything would be fine!

Yeah, I did in fact kill two people and not feel bad about it really, but that was allowed. It was legal murder and they knew what they were signing up for. The only issue is that technically that guy forfeitted. What was I supposed to do?? Reverse gravity????? I can’t just suddenly gain magical powers to reverse stuff. If I could’ve stopped the rocks from hitting the guy, I would’ve, but there was absolutely zero way for me to do so so idk what they expect of me. They just saw a chance to get rid of me and also not have me as the second of command, so they took it.

Anyways, though, I know I’m not the asshole, but I need to prove to someone that I’m in the right so I need more people to agree with me. Thanks in advance for helping prove I’m in the right B)

[melon-dot-com]

The chaos of thoughts are below. Have fun ig. I definitely did. I'm free. Whose gonna be bothered. Whose gonna stop me. My city now.

[Contextual info: Watching something new]

So I'm watching The Apothacary Diaries. It seems to be pretty new with only 3 eps so far. Unless the site I'm using is just behind. It's also in dub which will make it not as caught up. I really like it so far and I'll be honest I was very close to not watching it. I saw it on the website I use and was hesitant. Not for any specific reason, I just have trouble starting new things. But I kept getting this nagging feeling I should give it a try.

I even had to make myself watch the next ep becuase part of me was like well I'm not quite investeddd. What if I just did something elseee. Almost distracting myself with non-commital entertainment like usual. Like playing casual games or watching youtube. But then I got that feeling again, that I should stick with it and that it'd be worth it.

[General info: Maomao]

Maomao is the main character- AKA the cute determined chibi here. When she is giddy and happy they show her with blushy cheeks, cat mouth, and cat ears. Often wiggling the cat ears and body swaying. She is very animated. Sometimes it's just that; a little cute and exaggerated features. But sometimes it's like here where it's full blown baby chibi moment. And it's so adorable… if I think abt it too hard it's likely I will perish.

[Maomao: Main passion and expertise]

She loves well. Apothacary related things. It's not just her specialty but she loves doing it and always wants to learn more. Personality wise she is relatively calm, a bit disgruntled, secretive, and independent, until the opportunity for remedy creation and other related things come up. Which brings about a joy she is hardly able to contain.

Honestly she is pretty relatable but my area is more like psychology and analytics. Physics and crafting. Grief and how we approach death/s… I find her passion yet seriousness about being an apothacary to be refreshing and relatable. I have a love for knowing and understanding of strange things as well! And just things that don't get much attention otherwise.

She especially likes testing out poison and venoms on her arm. And she, presumably, uses this to gather information on how to create an antidote or remedy for them. She does it on the same arm every time, which while I suppose makes sense as to not mess up other body parts… I can't see it being as effective on scarred skin. Though for all I know that's the point and doesn't actually effect the observing process. It's not like I'd actually know.

Also she does address at some point that she isn't as sensitive to poisons since she did it for so long. I'm just not sure about skin related irritations.

[The testing scars]

She wears a strip of guaze or guaze-like material around the arm she kept testing on to hide it's scars. Probably to not alarm people or to seem unsightly when she is working. I don't think she cares that much about it herself though or is even self conscious outside of maybe being fired for it. It's the result of her passion and hardwork after all. If someone judged her for it I doubt she'd change her mind about it. The women that showed concern for her when she was younger didn't seem to phase them from continuing.

[TW: About the testing itself]

Honestly TW for the flashbacks of her doing the poison and venom testing. It's brief but her arm is real messed up. Particularly if you have cluster related phobias or trypophobia. Which I find those tend to go hand in hand. I might go back to try and timestamp the moments so others are aware… Even though I get kind of itchy just thinking about it. Ugh.

[Dynamic with other main character]

So there's this important guy- uhhh. Emperor's son. Don't know if that has a name. He may also be a set of multiple sons. I don't normally watch things in this setting I know nothing. Clearly. sdjfsjd

As you can see I forgot his name but he subtly.. well not so subtly, tries to get Maomao's attention. In his own words he said he thinks he'll try at seducing a bit. It sounded more in the context of getting her enamored wth him rather than full on seduction. AKA no actual motive to get with them or in bed with them. At least it sure seems that way for now with how nonchalant and carefree he is about it.

[General info: other main character]

He is your usual fancy boy with a sort of graceful arrogance. He looks pretty but truthfully does not awe me like the women in the show. They are SO so pretty and cute. One of the high class ladies is of course especially dressed up. She seems a bit playful and cheery in a teasing way and has lovely pink hair in an updo with accessories. And I'm like… ahh my heart…

Fancy boi (I am lazy and will get his name later sorry fancy boy :( ) doesn't lack attention but he does find it a bit odd that Maomao doesn't seem flustered by his presence and even off put by him. At some point he finally makes a quiet comment about "Why don't you react'' (Something like that)

[That one scene from the gifset: fancy boy is into it]

I think afterward- my memory gets mixed up so maybe it was before the above. He talks to his… main guardsman? iirc. They talk a bit about some current problems they are facing and then fancy boy says that he is intrigued by how she doesn't react the same as the others. And then gets all chibi-happy about it like ahh I've never been treated that way before <3 all blushy and content. Then his guardsman, as if he just heard about a private side of him, goes alright well I'll take my leave now-- and slides out of view.

[Circling back their dynamic]

I got sidetracked but wayy in the beginning of Maomao and his encounters. She notices his directed glances, obvious casual posing, and getting a little too close in personal space. She is, reasonably, disgusted and disturbed about it. Probably the right reaction to a person in power clearly focused on you.

There has already been a moment though, where she was little grumpy and weirded out by him getting close behind her. But not outright disgusted like I saw before.

That said, she probably thought about maybe not reacting negatively toward one of the people she works for. Or just upper class people in general for that matter. Idk if the creator/s thought about that though and it might just be showing the viewer that she's a little more familiar with his weirdness now. _ End / 11/12/23 / 22:16

[gastlives]

worm sesh! 8/29

hmm..

oh no its siberian isnt it

jesus christ

eeeeeeeeeeeeuuguh

ok hold on

william manton… Manton effect interesting this might be wild and random but what if noelle is the daughter

ok nevermind

welp

Welp no wonder u guys wanted him to escape

hahaaa..

make him huh

<:/

man what the fuck

also i noticed she changed her name from rebecca to alexandria well ig its her hero name i thought it was too regular name to be hero name or she was doing sm shite like the new wave heroes

i suppose that makes sense

ok but if coil is supposed to Win what happens if taylor umm have to fight him : )

spams him w phone calls

coil is making you insane girl

i can feel taylor popping a nerve from here

good

god damn

ur survival instincts r going crazy

now u just sound like when vista was being fatalistic

and if he gets a trigger event from ur death what then

i dont think hed Juust recover no wife and daughter is a little hard

iinteresting

lmao just Cope

hm thats a little too much in wanting the phone aint it

i wouldnt act like that in front of supervillains

a shame ur power isnt stealing other ppl's powers but u have to do w what u have i suppose…

good luck

sure ill believe that it was just hard work

cmon trickster

shit

true

so , FUcking TRUE.

its very hard

horror bug attack go

jesus fuck taylor

did u have to fuck him with bugs

i like when taylor thinks of how shed use other people's powers

[iwantabatlleaxe]

I have a bad habit of insulting my dad (shit guy) through what sound like compliments no, not the comedy way.

The other day I was talking to him and my sister and my dad said he would never stop smoking and that his health would be shit for it, resulting in an early death.

I replied with "you should try vaping", which made my sister correct me as that is more dangerous.

They thought I was trying to come up with a healthier alternative.

I meant it as an insult.

He once (the day before the other story) said that he'd die young from not exercising and that he was already feeling the effects.

"I have more six years to me." He said.

"Do you?" I sound worried.

"More, but six years I can enjoy." Explanation.

"... do you?" Doubtful tone.

OH MY GOD this is like a narrative coming full circle, when I was a kid I'd beg for him to stop, hide his boxes, ask for nicotine stickers to other ppl, but after 21 years of egocentric bs I'm just agreeing when he talks pity on himself

As a matter of fact, talking to my dad is similar to those tense political meetings in media where we both know each other's plans but say things just vague enough not be called out.

Funny thing is that when his "plan" didn't work (reduce child support under the percentage determined by law without breaking contract via having my consent) he went for the THROAT.

Alright this is just a vent now.

But man. It was satisfying.

He talked shit about my mom, she never paid anything blah blah, that stuff.

He was lying! Plus he once refused to pay school materials! He's a prosecutor! He gets 30x the minimum wage! Always did, always will!

He complains about his debts (that he wants to leave for moá) when he spend his father's savings on prostitutes and plastic surgeryfor his wife!

Well, one whore who cost literally my college tuition.

No shade for sex workers, btw, but it's a little strange for his wife to be boasting about how much they spend on their third (who's my age btw!) To refuse to pay child support.

He also talked about how I abandoned them when my grandma died.

I spend her last week there, me and my mother HELPED him with medical decisions, and he didn't tell me about her death so I couldn't make it to the funeral.

My sister found out via her manicures ig.

Oh, and I'm not allowed inside their home because I didn't let the third come to my graduation. It's how he sees it.

I didn't allow my stepmother come (for reasonsTM) (plus the girl is MY AGE. It would be kinda okay if he didn't have the habit of dating his 20/23 yo subordinates.)

Anyways. I hope he stops going to the clubs I go to. And I hope he and my stepmother rot together because what the fuck is that

I've seen all kinds of violence between them (more than you'd imagine! Yes including sexual! On her part! She also said her friend should be thankful if she ever got raped!) So... you can guess how it affected me growing up.

Anyways. I hope they die.

[soufaked]

　His shadowed eyes were fixated on the man's chest, caught in the bright red of his tie, tracing the way his pale slender hands folded on each other and lay right on top of his stomach, resting in a rather unnaturally serene position.

　　　I'm sorry~

　A familiarly playful mutter breathed by his ear, only partially honest with the sentiment. His entire body froze and his breath hitched, even as his heart stopped for almost a millisecond in his now skyrocketing anxiety. His white knuckled hands clenched against the edge of the urn in an attempt to gather some courage for turning around--

  　　I'm truly sorry for the loss…

　He felt his shoulders relax when the voice turned unfamiliar. From the corner of his eye he could spy two strangers speaking, possibly the guy's coworkers or some distant family. He released his hold onto the wooden surface, dropping his fists by his sides and turning around to leave, but not without stealing one last glance to the deceased lime-haired man.

　He felt out of place. He probably shouldn't be here anyways. It's not like he'd really wanted anything to do with the mourned individual anymore, not even when he was alive and kicking.

　It was the last time he'd see him in person; for some reason, he still felt his throat strain at the thought crossing over his already overwhelmed head. He refused to accept it was any sort of grief.

　　　　　　-------------------------------------------------

　He slammed closed the door to his apartment, throwing the keys over the kitchen table and struggling with irritation to undo the necktie holding his white undershirt together. He felt strangled, blaming the constricting clothes put together in a black tuxedo, all for an occasion he hadn't really wanted to be part of.

　He was tired.

　Shouldn't he feel rather devastated? He wasn't keen to cry for the other man, not when he'd been escaping his presence through the while they'd been making their separate lives (it hadn't lasted too long of course, his murder had been way too unexpected, even for him). The old T.V. flashed sudden news of the event, a study on the crime case starring the face and name of the culprit, who had been caught little time ago with no real effort―he didn’t care to pay attention or even scorn the man. He’d done him a favor. He’d done him a favor.

　T.V. off, he scurred over to his bedroom and landed himself back onto the cushioned mattress, while casting the small tie over to the side and beginning to unbutton his shirt with no real rush (other than his need to breathe freely).

　He was… far too calm and collected than he probably should be about this—no, that was wrong. He didn’t feel especially strong anything about the situation; no sadness, but also no joy. His neutrality scared him to an extent (it was a storm brewing for later, that was for sure), but there was nothing else that could be done if his emotions had decided to stay stuck in the back of his throat.

　His throat really, really hurt though. And his chest felt rather hollow, but nothing has come out of him yet; not all day, and it would likely not happen anytime for the following week.

　Unbuttoned now, he shed the formal pants off and kicked them aside, wiggling his body out of the jacket and shirt but not even making an effort to place them away fully, conformed with lying on them bare. His arm bent over his face, covering the lights off his features. Too bright, even if filtered by the thin curtains on his window.

　A cold current of air caused his thin body to shiver, making him now acutely aware of his bareness and disturbing newfound privacy. 

　Within the sourness of his thoughts, it occurred to him that he was in the right to go ahead and do as many outrageous things as he would please; out of spite, or as a coping mechanism. He could slide over to his laptop and search the grossest porn footage and challenge himself to jack off to it, take over an entire government website and spit on the police publicly, steal billions of yen or dollars from some international bank and leave them wipe clean, perhaps even navigate the entirety of the deep web without any security measures at all—he was not being constantly observed anymore, uncontrolled like a wild animal, free of the stalking eyes of the “perverse” man. He wanted to believe…

　...The corner of his vision caught a pair of eyes, watching him predatorily.

　His hand twitched, the sudden pounding of rushing blood deafening him and making his breath falter in the excess of adrenaline—he tried his best to contain yet another panic attack on the rise, but even he could already feel the numbness of fear blinding his thought process entirely, vision dizzying and body shaking in sudden terror with the prospect of being unable to even defend himself. 

　　　Come with me... 

　“He’s dead...” He tried to repeat himself under his shaky breath, feeling his eyes prick painfully in contained tears. “It can’t be real…”

　　　Ring ring!

　He jumped out of his skin at the ringing of his phone, sucking a breath of air and glancing from under his arm over to the lighted up device. Mom. He didn’t move a muscle to even pick it up though, no matter how much guilt would burden him afterwards when hearing her burst a worried mess over the line. He wasn’t in the mood for his adoptive mother’s overwhelming clinginess, not right about now. He felt already on the edge, and he sure didn’t want to hurt her with an undeserved lash out.

　He let the hand resting on his burning chest slide down his stomach, realizing on the layer of sweat covering his skin. Following up, his other hand rose to run through his messy and now soaked teal mane, lips pursing as he felt the beads of sweat running down his forehead. He hadn’t realized how much perspiration it had caused him, for how short-lived his panic attack had been this time—had he lost track of time? 

　He left a shaky breath, still quite affected and on the edge of a pounding headache, with how painfully lightheaded he felt. Perhaps he ought to take a shower, to lower steam and recover his composure.

　Weakened still, he made an effort to stand from his bed and pace over to the small bathroom, his hands peeling the remaining piece of underwear off and flinging it to the mess of dirty clothes forgotten in the corner of the room.

　He thought he’d seen a shadowed figure behind him, reflected in the mirror.

[ insp. by this // to be continued? ]

[the-darklings]

first of all last chapter broke my heart but in a way i'm still happy about it?? i expected something when you said dream was being his usual asshole self but unfortunately i did not see this coming!!

i am once again agreeing with cori that wanderer should run away and hang out with him the whole time instead (ignoring dream's repercussions but whatever!!) it was adorable how corinthian hangs out on wanderer's island now, very fitting with how there would always be a friend waiting for her there!! speaking of- the island stays right?? dream doesn't get so angsty that he destroys even that?? bc i would actually be down with murder if so

i've been doing very quick maths (which i suck at, so correct me if i'm wrong) but isn't the year wanderer is ordered to leave the same year that dream gets pissy and tells hob he doesn't need or want friends?? if so, does it by any chance influence each other?? also are we going to have any interactions between hob and wanderer bc i love them both sm and i'd love to see it :))

also i NEED to see death tear dream a new one for being Like That™ to her friend!! will we see reactions from some of dream's siblings in the future or is that going to be left to our imagination??

either way- it was an amazing chapter, as always!! this is honestly my favourite fanfic of sandman- idk their companionship feels so authentic to the themes of the sandman and it'd honestly fit right in the story and i'm invested enough that it feels like something is missing when wanderer isn't actually in canon :// anyhow- i hope you have a lovely day today <33

ah, thank you very much!! 💕

so, to speed through these:

yes, Corinthian is that friend whose always waiting with a smile (or a smirk in this case) to meet Wanderer whenever she arrives. He probs considers it the only place where he can unwind without a shadow looming over him because unlike the rest of the Dreaming, Wanderer Island comes half from Wanderer, so it adores Corinthian as much as the source does.

no, Dream physically couldn’t bring himself to destroy the island, but would write it off as “it’s part of the dreaming and mortals go to it often and it was created for a purpose yadayada” aka man is denial and looking for a reason not to destroy last remnant of Wanderer because it’s all he has left. the island is effected by what happened between them tho 👁

yes, both fallouts happen around the same time. which comes first, I’ll leave up to you to decide, but they do directly impact one another. Dream said: ruining my life on speed run ig. also yes, Wanderer and Hob will definitely meet and I think you guys will like them a lot. I’m personally in love with their dynamic in my head.

you will see Death’s & Desire’s reactions (still holding back from writing other Endless until I get to them in the comics because I want to do them justice) but eventually if/when I do other extras after tibyim is done, you might get glimpses. most def had reactions to it, quite interesting too.