#and how badly I miss them
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saw you post 'listen before you go', thought you'd enjoy this:
oh...
#sterechats :)#going through It. and by It let's just say. the worst loss of my life lol#but I don't think anyone wants to hear how I ruined it again#and how badly I miss them#and if they'd give me one more chance I'd be the happiest person in the world#they put up with so much shit I should never have put them through#I can't blame them for leaving I just wish I could show them how much they mean to me#that behind all of my masks and my anger I cared about them more than anything#and I'm just so damn scared of being vulnerable because I've learned vulnerability is weakness#and even though that's wrong and I know it is it's less vulnerable to close myself off and respond with rage#than it is to actually confront my own emotions and realize that I'm not a robot#that I have feelings and they're usually really big and overwhelming for me#and I have to step back and process these things on my own because it's unfair to others#because I can't keep treating my friends like they're responsible for my emotions and at fault for them#because I need to actually communicate my needs instead of assuming people know them#because these same patterns are why I keep losing friends over and over again#and if I don't fix them I'm never going to be able to maintain a friendship#god. if they're ever going to read this I hope they know how much they mean to me#and how deeply and truly sorry I am for everything I've done#and how I never want to hurt them ever again#and I'm crying again. it feels like all I'm ever doing recently is crying#you know that saying 'you don't realize what you have until it's gone'? yeah.#for all the shit I talked I'd do anything to hear them tell me about their f1 drivers again#I miss them so much it's killing me it feels like#I just. I don't think they're coming back#no matter how much I tell myself they just need a few weeks or months#I think I really fucked it up this time and I don't want to admit it to myself#because I don't think I can mentally accept that they're gone forever most likely#I just want to hope that they'll give me that one last chance and I can prove myself#I just want to talk to them again and it hurts so much
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he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner
#i’m sorry to everyone who followed me for skk they haven’t crossed my mind in weeks#it’s just been knkdz and kunikida brainrot 😔#when your brat of a boyfriend asks for a kiss and u tell him no and he hits you w this face#i would slap him tbh#honestly i think it’s a good thing kuni is dead bc he’s finally been released from the eternal punishment of being dazai’s babysitter#i miss them so badly it’s not even funny anymore#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws#also i deadass forgot how to shade so ignore how i basically just pillow shaded this entire drawing
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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Idgaf where’s Tommy?
#911#tommy kinard#bucktommy#ish#911 abc#literally do not care about anyone else’s storyline on this show they have fucked them all up so badly#but I am desperate to know how tommy is doing#oh this doesnt have to do with anything btw I just miss tommy
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NICKPHIL REUNION IN 2024. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE ACTUALLY BACK. MY MEN!!!
#“it's probably my indomitable will” “that must be it” UGHHH#they way they immediately got back with their usual banter...#oh how much i missed them 😭#i need to read the rest of this story so badly#this is looking really good. pls don't make me lose my hope and let it be an actual good arc#phil coulson#nick fury#marvel comics#nickphil#shield daddies#saryuuchan
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Tip of the Day:
Please wipe off the lipstick marks off our screens and bodies after you are done.
no lipstick marks here, boss! 🫡
..although, there might be something else that needs to be cleaned off,
#COUGHS. WHO SAID THAT#sargepng#ultrakill#v1#terminal#is there a shipname for them ???#aah how i miss u badly drawn terv1nal
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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Fans: omg Wille is soo oblivious and adorable he didn’t even realize the song was about him
Edvin: Wilhelm is obsessed with himself and his problems that’s why he didn’t know the song was about him
💀💀💀
#yes i miss them so badly that i am reading old articles#sue me#i just think this is so funny#i actually think both edvin and a lot of fans are on extremes#and the truth is somewhere in the middle#some people wanna excuse everything wille does and blame simon and Edvin is here to remind yall#i think it is understandable tho that he didn’t get it immediately i guess even tho i thought he did get it#it’s just funny that fans are overly generous with Wilhelm and Edvin is the opposite#but that speaks to how well he portrays the complexity od Wilhelm#also edvin so thoughtful and mature i love hearing him talk about the show#prince wilhelm#young royals#edvin ryding#wilhelm x simon#wilhelm young royals
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What are your thoghts on Shadamy?
this is such a crazy timed ask actually lmao i’ve been doodling them whenever i have the energy for it they are *falls to my knees* so much lmao
there’s a thread on twitter about their interactions in team sonic racing that i revisit whenever i need a serotonin shot lol that exposes how big of a soft spot shadow has for amy like it’s the way!!!!! he really wants her to rely on him and how proud he is whenever she accomplishes something with his assistance!!!!! like????? i mean????
something that’s been a little lost in translation over the years with amy’s character is that she wants to be an independent and wonderful lady and i’m hesitant to say we know what that really looks like for her, but what’s more important here is that shadow already acknowledges her as such based on whenever he’s teasing her in the game and like……. it’s just a refreshing dynamic for her to have when she’s been shown to struggle making a place for herself in sonic’s posse lol
#vee got an ask#i read a post forever ago that suggested the reason sonic feels insufferable in shadow 05 is bc it’s shadow perceiving the characters#sonic is a pest to him basically and was recently reconfirmed lmao#what’s really really fcking funny about that tho is how he interacts he interacts with amy in that game lol#she’s troubled bc her friend is missing and poor shadow trying to make sense of his messed up memories feels compelled to help her#he even questions himself like why??? did i want to help her so badly??? lmao#and then the final fight with black doom rolls around and amy dreamily says she’s always believed in him and LOL#i see you shadow lol!!!!!! she got two hands i don’t mind if you take them both for yourself lmao!!!!!!#and to not even speak on how helping amy automatically sends you to the hero route!!!!!!#shadamy is probably my fav ship rn lol
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If Solar gets nightmares about when he was stuck in Sun's head, I wonder if that means he dreams of the times after too.
If he gets dreams of when Sun first decided to reach out and show kindness to him. If he dreams of when he was still active and helped him break out of his shell with his unwavering support. If he dreams of when his home was a kinder world to exist in. If he wakes up feeling warm and fuzzy and safe afterwards(and if the realization of where he is—who he is—crushes it moments later).
#xero says things#I slept and I'm still thinking about them 😔 maybe if i write smth for them i'll be normal /silly#no but for real i do wonder that#like.#he said his sun was compassionate and fought for him. he's had hints of caring a lot for his sun for a long while#i wonder how badly he misses him sometimes#especially considering he is quite literally the only person left alive who even remembers his sun when he was still active#stars know a weight like that would just about kill me#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#sams solar#tsams solar#xero thoughts and rambles
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Person of Interest | 1×01 // 3×09
#person of interest#poedit#tvedit#poi spoilers#joss carter#john reese#nikolatexla#oh how badly i miss you carter... it always feels like something's missing now#i watched this episode today dated back to 2010... and it was about a man called mr dillinger working with finch to stop crimes#and you know what else i saw? they were trying to stop reese and kara... oh my gosh my heart skipped a beat during that entire episode#the fact that harold's been following reese for two years after he saw that john let casey go and he also saw shaw shooting his partner...#two things i wonder. if he ever saw shaw's face during that moment and how did he know who john was when dillinger sent a pic of him...#i was surprised when root said he had helper monkeys previously... i wonder how many of them has he had
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the borgias is my favorite show and i think it's the best show ever made and all. however, there's just this one aspect that is genuinely hilarious to me and i mostly criticize the show for. the writers suddenly trying to make the viewers massively despise juan by turning against him and disingenuously writing him in his final moments so the watchers won't miss him or sympathize with him by making him a walking danger as an excuse to kill him off and prop up cesare's character. they wanted the audience to root for cesare at juan's expense and make his death seem necessary lol. they truly thought they served with this one, like maybe juan's character was shamefully abandoned by the writers (as well as his family except for rodrigo) but david oakes had many people sold with the way he played him to perfection, improvising and making juan remarkable, tremendous, and humane. the show is obviously a classic masterpiece, but in my opinion about the juan part, simply rushing the writing of a tragic dying character on a show for weak reasons is pure disrespect.
#i love the way juan was written off is something that didn't sit right with the rest of the cast either. they know david was done dirty#not to mention the corny ass hashtag they tried to trend to celebrate juan's death lmaoo 2012 was really something#it's why françois and david GET ITTTT#their insights literally go against what the writers were trying to make us Believe LOL françois and david were like No ❤️#you know when the actors get the characters more than the writers themselves because of how much they lived in them? YEAH!!!#they tried so badly to paint cesare gutting juan and throwing him off a bridge as “heroic” then BAM here comes king arnaud!!#calling cesare an envious monster SJSJJSNSEJ#françois literally admitted that he had the writing on his character's side meanwhile david's character was thrown under the bus#as if it wasn't enough for them to villainize juan by giving him all historical!cesare's negative characteristics !!#that being said. like or hate juan...his presence was truly missed in season 3 lol#juan borgia#cesare borgia#françois arnaud#the borgias#period dramas#period drama#neil jordan#david oakes#borgias#text post
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2009 Italian Grand Prix - Jenson Button
#more gifs yaaaaa even tho i didnt even rly like this race overly tbh#also just miss having one of my main boys on the top step so this was made to cope#i think once in a fic i read jense's smile described as 'wolfish' and my god if that wasnt the most accurate description ever#like the way his grin curls to the one side specifically.....eeeeeeeeee so wolfish#im always astonished at just how badly colored the pressers are....theyre so desaturated and icky.....#like seriously ill be watching them like 'uhhh wait do i really find this guy attractive...?' and then i recolor and im like OH YEAH I DO#its just super unflattering and drab I HATE IT!! but its the only thing i actually enjoy coloring bcs everything else is just frustrating#jenson button#jb22#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula one#formula 1#2009 italian gp#season: 2009
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i cannot be held responsible for the person i become when the doctor and donna are on my screen again btw. levels of mental illness never before seen
#I MISSED THHEM SO MUCH. LITERALLY THOUGHT ABT THEM ON THE BUS AND STARTED CRYING TODAY#god you guys have no idea how badly im doing rn. im so back in the dw pits it's not even funny#implying i ever left but yknow. it's been a long hiatus...#doctor who#tendonna
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"
#.txt#dungeon meshi#laios#like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time#with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell#<- source: im autistic#but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it#intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick#or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away#like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally#driven people away#and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people#is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it)#on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me#and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them#and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong#to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else#but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out#of their way to remove nuance from characters :/
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