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boxeom · 6 months ago

Text

• When Judgement Day Comes •

🌻[The Failure of Truth and the Success of Lies]🌻

Synopsis: Hiromi gets yet another guilty verdict, but luckily, you are there to pick up his stray pieces.

Contains: Higuruma Hiromi/gn!reader, heavy angst, hurt comfort, a lil spooky (:3), (cw.) heavy intrusive thoughts, (cw.) suicidal ideation, (cw.) heavy dissociation, non-sexual intimacy, acts of service, bird facts (it's symbolism, I promise/I also just know way too much about birds and must share my knowledge), disgusting amounts of soft and emotional fluff.

Wc. 5k+

[Message from the Box]: Uhhhh…first time actually posting my writing. A bit nervous. I have literally been writing so much stuff in my personal life and have literally finished stories I've just been a wee scared to post so they've just been sitting in my drive for like…three years??? Maybe there will be more to come if I actually hype myself up enough- I'm proud of my writings, I think I'm an okay writer (I think), but posting them always makes me feel urrg. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! (IF YOU SAW THE UNCOMPLETED VERSION OF THIS, NO YOU DIDN'T. 🫵🏽)

-Boxe in the Box

Hiromi's eyes peel open slowly to meet the dark roof of his car. He blinks a few times, head lifting from his headrest to stare ahead at the dark and practically empty parking lot just outside the courthouse. The sun was up when he had gotten into his car- how long was he sitting here? A nearby lamppost flickers. Harsh pale yellow light flashes in rapid patterns- straining Hiromi's eyes and painting his skin ghostly white for only mere seconds before plunging him back into shadow. Hiromi chuckles without a hint of amusement. Those really were the only two sides of the coin, weren't they? The head is too bright- too harsh, it leaves you squinting in wait to adjust- to have to eventually hope that you can one day comfortably live in the exposure the light paints you in. Meanwhile, the tail is too dark to even tell whether or not you are conscious as everything passes by right in front of you- leaving you to blindly stumble your way through uncertainty. You can flip that coin as much as you want. But was the hope for heads every time really worth it? Was this worth it?

Was life worth it?

The intrusively dark thought comes creeping its way out unexpectedly- forcing Hiromi to look it right in the face and come to terms with his subconscious questioning the idea of living. It isn't new, not at all. Hiromi has always had thoughts like that, but he's never given them his attention in favor of pursuing his passion to redeem the world of justice and honor. Right now, though? Hiromi finds himself not countering this consideration of life with his usual optimism. He's too tired. He's so tired. Hiromi takes a deep breath and slightly shakes his head, starting his car, flicking on his lights, and leaving that damned parking lot he's had too many moments of defeat in. He doesn't see the dark figure flickering in and out of existence just beneath the light of that lamppost in his rearview mirror watching his retreat- nor does he see the bulb begin to surge with power, shining too brightly until it shatters with an unheard pop! and litters glass onto the asphalt below. He doesn't see that whatever had been watching him was now gone.

•••

Driving has always been something that Hiromi has come to appreciate. Despite the unfortunate impact careening around in a highly flammable steel box at speeds humans were not meant to move at pouring gray smog into the air from every hole had on the environment, Hiromi finds himself comfortable in the mindless routine of turning the steering wheel, pressing or easing off the acceleration or brake, using the appropriate signals when it was time to use them, and everything else that came with such a common act. His windows are down- wind whipping in his ears and face as he naturally drives the speed limit right at its number, blank eyes staring ahead and occasionally glancing to the left or right. Today, though, something is...different.

He finds himself disassociating from the world around him- from the other cars sharing the road and forgetting that living, breathing people reside inside them. He wonders what would happen if he just pivoted into the black Mercedes Benz he saw littering a styrofoam cup full of cigarette butts a couple miles back. He wonders what would happen if he got on the ass of the rundown truck blaring bass and shit with its driver who blatantly has his eyes glued to his phone. Hiromi can feel the upper half of his dress shoe continue to press down on the acceleration, his vehicle revving along with the action as if to egg him on to go faster. He finds himself not caring when he cuts someone off or doesn't use his turning signal. His chest feels positively hollow. Just like before, he doesn't see the dark figure lounging in his backseat just behind him.

It's like he snaps awake when he finds himself in the elevator of his penthouse, the default cheery tune of elevator music making his clear exhaustion look almost comical in the mirrors paneled to the walls surrounding him. His heavy eyes blink. Hiromi's head swivels to the wall to his right suddenly- eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement. He could have sworn, in the corner of his eye, someone was just with him in the elevator. There had been a flash of long black hair and uncomfortably pale skin, donned in a dark robe of some kind. Before he can give what he just saw much thought, the elevator dings and the steel doors slide open. Hiromi blinks a few times and lightly shakes his head. He lifts his free hand, pinching the bridge of his nose before his palm drags down the rest of his face and he sighs deeply while leaving the elevator. Hiromi's shoulders slouch and his feet are heavy against the floor below him. He slips off his shoes, toeing them in the corner before stepping further into his home.

"Hiromi?"

And just like that, the lead in his muscles and fatigue weighing him down just melts away as you peek around the corner to meet his eyes. You meet him halfway. It doesn't go unnoticed by Hiromi how your eyes look him up and down in clear concern and what he really thinks is pity. "...Guilty again, huh?" He doesn't even need to explain it to you anymore. Hiromi feels every single ounce of negativity cursing his mind, body, and soul simply disappear as he steps into your open and warm embrace. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him flush against your body as a hand cradles the back of his head and welcomes his heaviness. Hiromi's forehead drops to your shoulder and his eyes slide close in relief to be with you. "I made dinner. Hungry?" He shakes his head to decline your offer. There's a moment of guilt in the pit of his stomach that he selfishly turns down your effort in caring for him, but that feeling is soon washed away as you nod instantly. You understood. You always understood. "C'mon," you give a soft kiss to his temple, "let's get this suit off."

With your hand in his, you lead Hiromi into your shared bedroom and take his suitcase to put aside on his desk. You sit Hiromi down on the edge of your bed gently and go about grabbing some more comfortable clothes for him to wear. Hiromi watches you with the softest gaze as you return to him, setting a fresh pair of boxers and one of his old college shirts beside him. You start loosening his tie, “Wanna get washed off? We can lay down afterwards.”

“Yes, please."

“Want me to join?”

Hiromi's heart swells to a point where his chest aches. He leans forward into you, head resting on your chest to listen to your steady heartbeat as he hugs your waist and draws you close between his legs. He just needs a moment to take you in- to feel you in his arms. You let him, return his embrace without question. His heavy eyes close slowly.

He's home.

•••

Hiromi lets out a long sigh as he sinks into the hot embrace of the lavender scented water filling the master bathroom’s spacious tub, resting his arms along the porcelain edges. His eyes peel open when you pass by- pulling your shirt up over your head and tossing it into the wicker laundry bin against the wall. He tilts his head, taking you in from head to toe as you slip your shorts down your legs. Hiromi’s eyebrows knit slightly.

“Where'd you get that bruise from?” He asks in concern, sitting up and reaching out for you- palm smoothing along the back of your bare thigh where a large, dark bruise welts against your skin. “Hm?” You peer over your shoulder at Hiromi with a frown of surprise, “I have a bruise?” “Yeah- it looks horrible. Did this happen recently?” “Oh, right,” Hiromi’s thumb gently rubs small circles against your flesh as you chuckle sheepishly, “I slipped and fell while running late to a meeting the other day, but it didn't hurt or anything.” Hiromi lets out an exasperated sigh, “How do you always manage to hurt yourself? Please be more careful, you have enough scars and bruises as it is.”

You raise your hands in playful surrender as you step into the bath, “I know, I know, I'm sorry.” Hiromi just shakes his head with a smile and welcomes your body against his when you join him within the water. You hum out in satisfaction, your back pressed to Hiromi's chest- your skin warm and pleasant flushed to his. Hiromi noses at the crook of your neck before leaving a fond trail of kisses down the gentle slope. Your hand reaches back as you tilt your head to give him more room, fingers threading through Hiromi's dark hair and scratching his scalp just the way he likes as his lips linger on the scar that curls at your left shoulder. Hiromi closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer still. “How was your day?” He asks against your skin. “You don't want to talk about yours?” You shift slightly in his arms to peer at him where his chin is tucked into your shoulder. “No,” Hiromi tilts his head to gently bump yours, your temples resting against each other's, “I just want to hear about you.”

You don't respond, but Hiromi can feel the way your cheek rises just a bit with your smile.

The next thirty minutes or so are filled with you telling Hiromi how you've spent your uneventful but peaceful day off (“boring is best”, you always say) as the two of you bathe together. It's a routine that you're both familiar with- one that Hiromi holds very dear (and he knows you do as well). You always insist on washing him first, working soap against his skin with a delicate touch and melting away the stress and tension of his day. When it's your turn, Hiromi is never not thorough. He finds it oddly relaxing- cleaning another person's body for them (though, he'd never done such intimate acts with anyone before meeting you so maybe he finds it so comforting because it's you).

His favorite part, though, is when you coax him to rest back into your chest and wash his hair. Tonight is no different.

Your hands do wonders. How you aren't the most famous massage therapist in the world, Hiromi has no idea (but he's more than happy to keep your talents for himself, anyways). Your fingers work through his hair with a touch that could rival that of an angel's. The clean and woodsy smell of Hiromi's shampoo fills the air as you knead his sensitive scalp, the heavenly combination nearly causing him to doze off in the water the two of you sit in. Hiromi's head lulls whichever direction your hands work in and his eyes have long since fluttered shut at the sound of your voice very seriously recounting a nature documentary you'd been absolutely appalled by earlier this evening.

"-and the mother bird won't realize that she's been taking care of a baby that isn't hers! The cuckoo hatches along with her babies and she'll feed them all, but the thing is that the cuckoo is much larger than the others so the mother will focus on feeding them more than her own." You tell him, disturbed by the information you've learned, "The other babies will either starve to death because they aren't getting enough food or be pushed out of the nest by the cuckoo because it needs more room. It's called...oh, what was it?"

"Parasitic brooding..." Hiromi finishes for you, having remembered seeing the term in a book he'd read once.

"Parasitic brooding! That's it!" You frown deeply, "It was really...sad. I know it's just nature, the cuckoo is just doing what its instinct is, but still...I can't help but feel bad for all the birds involved. The baby cuckoo especially."

"The baby cuckoo? How come?"

"...I'm not sure. It's just...the idea of a baby that's planted into a family it's meant to destroy without even knowing..." You trail off long enough for Hiromi's eyes to open and tilt his head back against your chest to see your face. "...It's a scary thought." He correctly words your feelings aloud. "Very." You agree solemnly, absentmindedly shaping Hiromi's hair into spikes. It's a bit surprising to him- how affected you seem by this concept. He's sure there's something there, something complex within you he's yet to uncover. Your relationship was founded and built on patience and trust- both of your backgrounds are complicated enough to have shaped who you are today significantly. And you've both mutually confided in one another about your pasts with time.

Hiromi knows there is still more about your life before him that you haven't told him about. However, he would never dream of trying to push that information out of you. Whatever it is, whenever you are ready to tell him about it, he'll be there for you the whole way. It's a silent promise he'd made to you early on into your friendship that he has no intention of breaking now after three years of being together.

He slowly sits up, turning in the water to face you and cup your face in his wet hand. You lean into his touch with an apologetic and sheepish smile. "Sorry...I was getting too into my head."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"But I'm supposed to be taking care of you today, not the other way around."

"We can take care of each other at the same time, you know." Hiromi reasons, his response being a trill of your lips and a playfully dismissive wave. "Impossible."

With a shake of his head, he kisses your forehead and chuckles against your skin as you snicker along with him. When he leans back, you're beaming up at Hiromi with a smile that will never fail to make the rest of the world just disappear. He breathes your name. "I love you." "I love you, too."

"Keep telling me about the documentary. What else did it talk about?"

"Oh! Did you know that there are families of lesbian lizards?"

•••

Hiromi climbs into bed beside you, letting out the hundredth sigh of the day when he flops face first into the sanctuary of his fluffy pillow. He hears you snicker and coo with sympathy to the side and he can't help but smile. You pull the cool duvet over him before settling in, your hand resting on the nape of his neck and absentmindedly playing with the short dark tufts of hair there. Hiromi turns his head to meet your eyes. The two of you simply stare at each other for a moment. His mind wanders back to the failure of his day- to the look of pure contempt on his client's face when the verdict was given. Will the next time be the same? And the time after that? What about the inevitable case he'd take a year from now? Will he ever make a difference? Is he the kind of person that can even make a difference...?

"What're you thinking about, Hiro?"

“...Do you think I'll ever change anything?”

Your expression is hard for Hiromi to read, even after these years of being with you, but he can see the sympathy in your eyes. There's something else he catches just in the subtle downturn of your thoughtful frown. It's complicated and deep and almost devastating. It's like you've heard these words or asked yourself the same question before, but in a way Hiromi can't seem to grasp. Your palm glides to cup his cheek, thumb stroking the corner of his eye rhythmically. Before he can think any further on it though, the brief glaze to your stare disappears to something he can actually recognize. Love.

“I do.”

There isn't a hint of doubt in your whisper. You continue;

“You are…a righteous, beautiful, and passionate soul with the mind to accomplish anything and everything you want. You're always learning, always watching, always adapting. And I wish- every single day- I wish I could be even half as strong as you are. You're unshakeable, Hiromi.”

Hiromi has never been a very outwardly emotional man. It takes a lot for his heart to bare itself so clearly. Even so, you are easily able to sway him as if it was as simple as breathing- like he is a book with its pages ready and waiting to be read and analyzed by your eyes and your eyes alone. It's a terrifying and exhilarating experience. To be seen, known, and cherished.

“You won't just change anything, Hiromi.” You smile so softly, finger brushing away the tear Hiromi hadn't noticed was falling until your touch. He lifts his hand to cover your own and weaves your fingers together. “You'll change everything. I know it.”

“...How?” His voice is so quiet, he almost doesn't hear it himself…but you hear him.

“Because you're Higuruma Hiromi. And I love you.”

There's such a serene silence that falls between the two of you, Hiromi almost feels like he's caught in a dream. Your skin is painted by the loving strokes of the rising moon’s brush- your eyes sparkle brighter than any mere shooting star that's ever streaked across the night sky. You're ethereal. Hiromi has to question- has to wonder what it is he did in his past lives to have earned the grace that is you. What he does know, though, is that you're here. With him.

And that is more than enough.

The shadows of your and Hiromi's bedroom shift, something darker than the black blanket of night slinking silently across the ceiling. It moves slowly and deliberately- spindly and twisted limbs like the branches of a dying tree moving the bulbous, swollen trunk they are attached to. The damnable thing crawls down the wall the headboard of the bed presses against, making its way closest to Hiromi's side. Its pencil thin neck stretches and cranes with the accompanied sound of crackles and pops (as if stretching bones it does not possess), two wide bloodshot eyes that are much too human yet far too large leer unblinkingly down at the soundly sleeping man just within its reach. Its face holds no features- just a silhouette of a head that is too small compared to its sac-like body. It's like a child's rendition of a giant spider they saw in their nightmares has peeled off paper and grew the size of a car. It stares, drinking in the face of the human who's woe it bore from. His desperation, his sorrow, his guilt, his regrets- all a delectable ambrosia that fills its fat gut. But it is not enough.

There's a soft, almost undetectable sound from it. Like the slow inhale of a dying man that draws on and on and on and on and on, hollow and wheezing and infinite. The space where its mouth should be begins to fall cartoonishly from the upper half of its face, a cacophony of ripping tendons and snapping cartilage growing more and more frequent the more its gaping maw yawns open. It draws closer to Hiromi, jaw unhinging and stretching to the size of Hiromi's upper torso.

Closer. Closer. Closer. Closer.

Creak.

The creature's mouth snaps closed, head shooting up to the sudden sound of something just barely moving to the right. Its wide eyes widen further when it meets the subtly glowing gaze of you. You stare into its very core- shaking the foundation of its being. Your expression is void, yet the unbridled wrath storming in your eyes and lashing through your energy strikes something into the newborn curse. Something so horrible, it cannot truly comprehend how or why you make it feel.

It feels fear.

The curse is fleeing before it realizes, scattering with uncanny speed across the floor and heading straight towards the glass doors leading to the connecting balcony. It crashes through the glass, pieces digging into its fleshy body but it is undeterred. Gnarly fingers wrap around the railing as it heaves its body up, ready to jump over the edge and escape into the night. It watches as its own body suddenly hurdles over the edge of the railing unceremoniously- plunging silently over the edge and disappearing. Its eyes shake as it slowly peers to the side.

"The next time you are born," your voice is soft and even as your fist tightens around its severed neck with a strength that has the curse's eyes about to pop out of its head, your free hand resting over its face, "make sure it isn't by him."

There's a sick, wet, tearing sound- purple residue spraying across the floor of the balcony as you reduce the curse’s head into a ball of meat, raw cursed energy rushing through both parts of its body before exploding in a display of churning blue flame. Any evidence of its existence is instantly eradicated. You look back just as Hiromi is startled awake from the shattering glass, snapping your fingers as the ruined glass door flashes and is fixed in the blink of an eye. Hiromi bolts upright and his head snaps to where you're re-entering the bedroom. "Sorry," you whisper, "did I wake you?"

"Wh-What the hell was that?!" Hiromi asks in panic, eyes flickering around your bedroom to find whatever it was that had awoken him. Guilt picks at your bones as you tilt your head and furrow your brow in feigned confusion. "What was what?" Your boyfriend stares at you like he's trying to decide if he's gone crazy or if you've gone crazy. "Th-That...that sound! It sounded like glass was breaking!" "...Glass? I didn't hear anything, Hiro."

Hiromi blinks a few times, processing your words- his mind running. You can see him thinking. You know that he definitely knows he didn't dream that up, but your reaction clearly makes him question himself. “You're stressed, baby. It was probably just a nightmare.” To ease (and distract) him, you move back into bed, your hand gently cupping his face to turn Hiromi towards you and meet him in a soft kiss. He relaxes with a slow exhale through his nose- you can feel his rapid heart beat calming where you rest your hand over his chest. “C’mere, let's go back to sleep, hm?” You murmur when you pull away, your answer a quiet nod. Hiromi moves with you- your hands gently holding his shoulders to guide him to rest on top of you.

Hiromi sighs as he lays his head on your chest, your fingers threading through his hair and running through his hair to tempt his eyes to fall closed. It's not long until you feel Hiromi's breathing slowly even out like it always does when he sleeps. You glance to the balcony door, releasing your hold on the illusion to assess the damage. There's a giant hole punched right through the now ruined glass door, pieces scattered across the ground (but luckily it's far enough that Hiromi won't accidentally step on the pieces when he wakes up tomorrow). You inwardly groan before setting the false image back into place and shut your eyes.

You'll need to get that fixed tomorrow.

#I've been avoiding uploading this for weeks ajajdjd #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #hiromi higuruma x reader #higuruma hiromi x reader

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tkaulitzlvr · 1 year ago

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HEYYY sorry if this is kinda long but ur my fav writer so i trust u w writing this 🤞

Could you write smth where tom used to be a player but he started dating the reader and seemed really loyal, but they go to a party together, their first party as a couple and when the reader leaves to go buy drinks she comes back to find tom sitting down with a bunch of girls, it looks like he’s flirting with them. sooo the reader gets really upset and walks all the way home thinking he’s cheating already even after only dating for like a month. tom follows her home, trying to explain himself and he eventually explains that he wasn’t cheating, he was trying to get away from all the girls politely, but was kinda trapped. the reader forgives him and it ends in smut or fluff or whatever u want.

SORRY ITS SO SPECIFIC LMAOOO

WHAT IT SEEMS - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: tom has finally managed to settle down with you, discarding his womanising ways. but, you see something that makes you think otherwise, tom desperate to explain himself to you, certain that you have got the wrong idea.

content: angst + fluff

a/n: love this idea, thank u so much for the request i hope u enjoy !! this is lowk ass tho i’m so sorry😭😭

“we really don’t have to go schatz, i know you don’t like these sorts of places.” tom repeats, standing in the frame of the bathroom door as i apply my make-up in the mirror. “we can stay here instead, i’ll get some snacks from the store, just me and you?”

he tries to reason with me, knowing that i’ve never been a party person. i hated large groups of people, not understanding the buzz that people got from drinking unsafe amounts of alcohol and fucking some random, the idea literally my worst nightmare. i preferred to stay inside and watch a movie, or bake something, finding comfort in familiarity, never described as an extroverted person.

tom however, was the complete opposite. he was a party animal, ending up at a different club every night, with a different girl between the sheets after he left. that is why our relationship was so unexpected, but it seems that tom had changed. he settled down, spending less and less time out at a random bar, instead spending his nights with me, soon realising that the party scene wasn’t something i enjoyed. at first, i was hesitant to believe that he had changed his ways completely, but, a month into our relationship, he has given me no reason to not trust him, this the reason why i am deciding to finally give in and go to just one party, tom having missed out for so long. but he is clearly confused by my change of heart, trying to remind me that he is more than okay with not going, growing to enjoy quiet nights at home.

“tom i’m fine. you haven’t been to a party in forever.” i start, blinking rhythmically as i apply my mascara, before moving backwards away from the mirror and turning to face him. “besides, i can’t stay locked up here forever. i have to live a little.”

he tilts his head, still uncertain despite my clear lack of hesitation. his lips purse together as he walks towards me, resting his hands on my hips. i can tell that he is questioning it, part of him missing the parties that he used to go to. but the new and sensible part of him, the part that is more prominent now, silently reminds himself of how much he has grown to love spending time with me and only me, coming to the conclusion that parties were never as fun as he had sometimes made them out to be, much preferring my company to getting shitfaced in some random club.

“there’s other ways to have fun besides getting wasted all the time. i like that about you. you don’t have to be drunk to have fun.” he says, kissing my forehead softly.

“i want to go.” i state, looking upwards at him, my eyes wide as i attempt to convince him to calm down a little.

“are you sure baby? i don’t want to force you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. you know i’d hate myself if you got there and didn’t like it. i’d much rather we-”

i cut him off by pressing my lips against his, sealing his over dramatic rambling with a short kiss. “i’ll be fine, okay?” i reassure him, my forehead against his.

he lets out a small smile, sighing heaving before speaking. “fine, get ready. but if you don’t like it, we’re leaving straight away. deal?”

i roll my eyes at his protectiveness, my heart melting at how much he cares. though it is a little frustrating, i can’t be mad at him, nodding my head slowly as a chuckle leaves my lips, my body turning back towards the mirror as i finish applying my make-up, my small crop top and tight skirt already on. tom walks behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, letting his hands rest on my stomach, before resting his head in my neck, planting gentle kisses there as i finish the rest of my makeup, small giggles leaving my mouth when his lips touch a sensitive spot on my neck, or his hands gently squeeze my stomach and his fingers slightly tickle the skin. he smiles behind me, his eyes calm and half-lidded, dreads resting over his shoulders and draping onto mine as he slowly rocks us side to side, continuing to kiss my neck from behind until i am finally finished.

the walk to the club is short, tom’s hand staying clasped in mine as we wander through the darkened streets, few people and the occasional car driving by us. i prefer peaceful nights like this, time to admire the city, rather than being face first in the crowds that daytime brought along with them. tom is speaking about something random, a lazy smile tugging on my lips as i look upwards, not particularly focusing on what he is saying, instead admiring his features - eyes fixed on the way his brown eyes shine, occasional smile gracing his face as he speaks, tongue grazing against his lip piercing. i take in this rare moment, though to some it is simple, to me it is something to be treasured, happy to listen to whatever tom is saying, finding it adorable how he gets so into a conversation when it is about something he cares for.

my cold breath leaves my lips as i exhale, reminding me how bitter the weather is, despite the warmth that the jacket tom had insisted on letting me wear brings me. occasional laughter emits from our mouths, sharing pointless conversation, enjoying the simplicity of each other’s company, our content exchange soon cut off by the sound of overly-loud music, signalling that we have arrived.

the queue to get in is longer than i had expected, tom not phased by this as the bouncer seems to recognise him, flashing him a quick smile and letting the both of us in. it is completely packed, drunken bodies encircling my vision, this enough for me to become easily overwhelmed. tom realises this, bending downwards so that his voice can be heard over the loud music.

“you okay? we can leave if you don’t like it.” he squeezes my hand as he speaks, bringing me into his embrace, his hands now running up and down my arms.

i shake my head, not wanting to leave before i had even given the place a chance. i let out a small ‘i’m fine’ in response, tom nodding his head and leading me through the crowd, looking downwards at me every few seconds, his hand never leaving mine until we emerge, arriving at a smaller section cut off from the rest of the club, being what i assume as the VIP section. the staff there recognise tom like the bouncer had, letting him in as we find a couch and table unoccupied.

he flops onto it, spreading his legs and wrapping his arm around my shoulder as i sit beside him, his other resting on the back of the couch. he scans the area, his lips pursed, head lazily nodding to the beat of the music, fingers tapping against my shoulder.

“you okay?” he shouts over the music, looking over at me and planting a small kiss on my forehead, pulling me closer into his side.

i nod my head, pointing a finger over to the bar. “i think i’m gonna go get a drink. you want one?”

he seems hesitant to let me go, his face falling a little, seemingly surprised at my willingness to walk around alone. the place somehow seems to feel busier, the bar totally packed, scattered with glasses, some empty, some practically full. but i figure that if i want to put myself out there more, i can’t rely on tom to be by my side, wanting to do this small thing alone.

“you sure baby? i can come with you?” he asks, looking upwards and seeing how crowded it has become.

“i’ll be fine. you can see the bar from here anyways, it’s not like anything can happen.” i say, pointing out the direct view our table has to the bar. though it is a little far away, past the small crowd of people forming there, it is in our eye line, tom able to maintain a perfect view of me.

“okay, but i’m watching the whole time. if anything happens i’ll be right over.” he gives in, though i can tell by his tone he is still reluctant. despite this, i stand up, pulling my skirt down a little bit. “and get me a beer please schatz.”

his hand plants a small squeeze on my ass, my body whipping around to scold him, yet my eyes are met with that same infamous smirk, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as i shake my head, a low chuckle escaping my lips. i walk over to the bar, reaching it successfully after pushing through a few wasted bodies. i turn around, squinting my eyes to try and spot tom, seeing that he is still alone, his own eyes searching to meet mine. he spots me, sending me a small smile and wave, his face visibly calming down once i am within his sight.

i turn back around towards the bar, resting my frame against the hard wood. a tall man comes towards me from the other side, nodding for me to order.

“a beer and a piña colada, thanks.” i say, pulling out a twenty dollar bill from my purse and pressing it flat against the table.

he nods, taking the money and starting to prepare the drinks. i awkwardly tap my fingers against the wood as i wait, the music seeming to get louder, leaving me with a pounding headache. my body is warm, unsure of whether it is the proximity of sweaty figures dancing around me, or the sweltering air, everything in the room feeling ten times closer than it would outside.

he places the drinks against the table, shooting me a small smile as i take them, returning the gesture and turning around. my eyes catch a small glimpse of tom from where i am stood, quickly doing a double take as i realise that he is not alone. from a distance, i can spot at least four girls, two at either side of him. he appears pretty content, a large grin from ear to ear as he engages in conversation, the girls way too close for my liking. they are practically up against him, wearing next to nothing, their bodies covered with dresses so skimpy i wouldn’t have bothered wearing anything at all.

he seems completely comfortable, the only difference in how he was sat before being that his hands had moved from either side of the couch, now resting in his lap. i can see him shake his head, that flirty smile never faltering. however i reach my breaking point when one girl leans closer, about to place her hand on his thigh. that’s when i lose it.

i storm towards the table, tom’s attention quickly turning to me as the eyes of the girls sat beside him all turn to me too, curious to see what has been able to divert his attention so easily. his face softens as he seems somewhat glad to see me, this only angering me more. one second, he is entertaining girls because i leave for a minute, then his eyes light up as i return, as if he hadn’t looked at them with that same grin i have seen way too many times before - all before we started dating. my jaw is clenched, eyes cold and harsh as i slam the drinks down onto the table, part of the liquid splashing out of the tall glass from the force.

“there’s your fucking drink, asshole.” i scoff, shaking my head and turning around, starting to find my way through the large crowd in the centre.

i can hear his voice behind me, constantly calling my name as he forces his way through the crowd, only a few steps behind me. i ignore his pleas, feeling like a complete idiot for believing that he had changed.

“get out of my fucking way!” i shout over the music, pushing the last few people out of my way, my eyes finally meeting the exit, leaving it quickly, tom still following me as he continues to be persistent, my name pouring from his lips every few seconds.

the night is even colder than it was when we had arrived, my entire body shivering once i emerge onto the empty street, the distorted blur of music no longer helping to drown out the sound of tom’s voice as it seems to get closer and closer. i continue to shrug him off, speeding up as my heels click across the pavement. my hands run up and down my arms in an attempt to warm myself up, now without the comfort of tom’s jacket to keep my temperature high, my small and tight outfit providing no warmth at all.

however, my fast steps are no longer enough to keep myself distanced from tom as i feel his hand on my shoulder, the strength of its hold causing me to stop in my tracks.

“jesus christ, baby, what the fuck?” he asks, out of breath, his chest heaving up and down as i face him, his eyes heavy and filled with confusion once he processes the hurt etched upon my face.

“don’t fucking touch me!” i scoff, roughly detaching my shoulder from his head, my eyes becoming glassy, both from the harshness of the wind and the reality that tom hadn’t ever changed his ways as i had thought. “just fuck off, you’ve done enough. and i actually thought you were different, how fucking naive can i be?”

i turn around, starting to walk away again. yet he speeds up, jogging and moving to stand in front of me, completely trapping me.

“baby, please it’s not what it looks like.” he pleads, his own expression now filled with desperation as he begs for me to hear him out, my mind set on what it had seen - no explanation able to change that.

“really? so i didn’t see those girls all over you?” i challenge, shaking my head as a sarcastic chuckle leaves my lips, in disbelief of how stupid he is making me out to be.

“you’re blowing this way out of proportion! you’ve got the complete wrong idea schatz.” he says, his own voice raising a little as he becomes frustrated.

“do you know how unbelievable you are? i should’ve known, i was never good enough to make you want to settle down.” the tears cascade down my cheeks, my teeth sinking into my lips as i quickly move around him, walking away once again.

but, he doesn’t accept my desire to leave, taking my hand and pulling me backwards, his eyes glossy with tears, his sudden display of emotion taking me by surprise.

“liebe, please can you just listen to me for a second?” he sighs, his voice wavering as he speaks. i stay silent, the tears pouring down my face, yet he takes my lack of response as a sign to continue. “they came over to me. i told them straight away that i wasn’t interested.”

i furrow my eyebrows, a mixture of guilt and disbelief taking over. one part of me feels terrible for not letting him explain, this whole thing my fault if he is telling the truth. but, the more infuriated side of me doesn’t believe him for a second, refusing to even consider that he brushed them off, tom never being the type to refuse a girl’s company. and it is this anger within me that acts out, cutting his explanation short.

“fucking bullshit. do you think i’m an idiot-”

he cuts me off, continuing to explain. despite my cold tone, he remains calm, taking my hands in his own, his eyes softly looking into mine as he speaks.

“i told them my girlfriend is here, and i’m not interested. they wouldn’t give in. i didn’t want to be rude, you know i’m not like that. but i didn’t let them do anything. didn’t you see how i was sitting? i’ve never had my arms closer to me in my life!”

he lets out a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little. but once he sees that i am in no mood to joke around, he shakes his head, straightening his expression before continuing.

“i was literally about to get up to come and find you, but then you came over. i get that it might’ve looked weird from far away, but i promise you.” he trails off, taking one step closer to me, reluctantly reaching upwards to gently graze his thumb across my cheek, applying a little more pressure once i accept his touch. “i promise you that i shut it down straight away. i want you and only you.”

both of his hands cup my face, his thumbs running comfortingly over the soft skin, his eyes scanning mine as he awaits my response, my mind working at a million miles per minute as i try to find the right words. though i am still angry, now more at the girls than him, it is impossible to ignore the sincerity of his words, guilt rising within my stomach as i feel nothing but regret for not trusting him.

“i’m sorry.” i mutter, removing my eyes from his own as i stare at the ground, salty tears rolling down my face more than they had before.

“hey, hey…” he trails off, lifting my chin with his pointer finger, his face falling once he sees my state. he plants a soft kiss to my lips whilst his fingers wipe away the tears resting on my cheeks. i kiss back, his lips soft and warm, enough to calm me down instantly.

he pulls back, resting his arms on my lower waist as his forehead sits against mine.

“you can always trust me. i’d never, ever, cheat on you. i’m sorry for how i used to be, and if i could change it, i promise you that i would, in a heartbeat. i want to be better, for you. you mean more to me than anyone else in this world, and i want to show it. you just have to let me try. okay?”

his lips stay parted as his slightly ragged breathing fans against my face, his warmth contrasting with the harshness of the climate around us.

“okay.” i say, nodding my head. he brings his lips to mine, smiling into the kiss as i gladly reciprocate, feeling his hands bring me closer into him.

“come on, let’s get you home.” he says, pulling away and holding his hand out for me to take. i smile warmly, intertwining my fingers with his as he pulls me closer, kissing my forehead gently. we begin the short walk home, tom stopping after a few seconds. he pulls his jacket off, tugging it along his frame. he takes a sleeve, gently threading my arm through it, repeating his motion with my other arm, until the material completely submerges me, my body warming up almost instantly.

he smiles downwards at me, kissing my cheek quickly, noticing the way a loud yawn escapes my lips after he does so. he bends down, placing one arm behind my neck, the other scooping me upwards by my legs as he carries me bridal style, a surprised gasp leaving my mouth at his actions, however it soon turns into a loud giggle once he begins planting large kisses across my face. he is grinning from ear to ear, his heart warming at the happiness plastered on my face, his hold on me tightening as he places one last kiss to my nose.

his arms remain securely around me as he walks slowly, the rocking motion of his steps causing my eyes to feel heavy, my eyelids beginning to fall shut, on the verge of falling asleep. my breathing slows, close to slipping into unconsciousness, however tom’s low voice prevents me from doing so. he clearly thinks that i have fallen asleep, yet i hear the phrase pour from his lips as clear as day.

“i love you.”

requests are open! keep sending them in, there’s a lot in my inbox atm but i’ll get to it as soon as i can!!

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #kaulitz twins #kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz #tomkaulitz #tom kaulitz smut

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rivet77 · 11 months ago

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Meditation used to be a practice that always confounded me, if I'm being honest. I would set a timer, close my eyes, focus on breathing fully & naturally through my nose, and it would feel like I'm attempting to stop a speeding train. My body would *fight* me, going "you can't stop, you have shit to do, you have things to worry about, how long as it been, surely the timer is getting close to being done, maybe you should check." Practically vibrating in my seat. My eyes would twitch. My body would itch. I'd literally be able to feel my heart squirming uncomfortably in my chest on every inhale. Every cell in my body would want me to stop, and prior to the last few months, I absolutely would have stopped!

Instead, I pushed through it. Insisted on holding the brakes down until I fully stopped, no matter how much the train wanted to keep going. I'd ask myself "why am I so uncomfortable" and start "scanning" my body, going through each part and intentionally relaxing it.

As this process goes on, eventually the breathing pattern stops feeling forced. The air begins to feel much like a drink of water when I'm thirsty, nourishing me, and it feels *good.* My thoughts happen, but I'm only observing them. I watch the lights & patterns on the back of my eyelids, no longer feeling my heart pounding against my chest, and I begin to feel an odd, almost... serene sensation above my eyes. As if a heavenly room opened up in my brain; where observations, ideas, and more come to me without much effort at all. It feels almost as if you're on the very edge of sleeping, without falling asleep. Before I knew it, the timer was going off. That's when it clicked. That's the meditative state I've been looking for.

Ever since I've been practicing it more and more. It's never anything long; I started with ten minutes, then fifteen, and I did twenty for awhile. It doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're sitting with your eyes closed, doing nothing, it can feel like forever (before you hit that meditative state, that is). Fifteen minutes is my sweet spot now, and by simply remembering the feeling of that meditative state, I'm able to reach it pretty quickly in those fifteen minutes. Before, i would spend most of the time trying to get there, but it's gotten much easier, and I almost always feel so much more clear and calm afterwards.

So yeah. If meditation has ever been a problem for you, just know that if you haven't practiced it, you're going to be stopping a moving train when you try. You need to keep holding down the brakes until it stops, or it will just keep accelerating. It'll be uncomfortable, and you'll need to learn to sit with the discomfort, feel it, and let it pass. What I found beyond that is 100% worth it

#meditation #how to meditate #mindfulness #self love #self care #mental health

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fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 4 months ago

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Sunlight (Hozier)

All the tales the same/Told before and told again/A soul that's born in cold and rain/Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/And at last can grant a name/To a buried and a burning flame/As love and its decisive pain/Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

But whose heart would not take flight/Betray the moon as acolyte/On first and fierce affirming sight of/Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/I had been lost to you, sunlight/And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight/Oh, your love is sunlight

"I come down with the shivers and start hyperventilating when i hear this song and it makes me want to go outside which is the scariest part"

"I'm not gonna go full infodump here but this song is Peak Vash and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun-- specifically Nick's feelings towards Vash. Vash's (literal) evil twin brother Knives hired (read: threatened to eradicate the orphanage he kidnapped Nick from as a child if he didn't do what he was told) Nick to act as bodyguard for Vash and guide him to where Knives wants him to go so he can manipulate him for his own gain. Like, he chose the name Knives. This bitch is crazy beyond crazy but this ain't about him. Nick starts out 100% willing to guide Vash like a lamb to slaughter because he HAS to for the orphanage, and this is just some random guy he doesn't know or care about. But then he gets to know Vash, how good of a person he is despite the shit the world (and Knives) has put him through. How he'd rather risk his own life and health than kill another person because he believes he doesn't get to make that choice for people. And despite being someone who'd rather shoot first, pray for them after, Nick starts trying to wound rather than kill just because Vash doesn't like it. It puts them both at risk and he fusses and argues about it and still kills sometimes but he tries anyways. Eventually he decides that he'll do what he can to protect Vash from Knives without provoking him to destroy the orphanage. He ends up caring about him deeply against his own will to the point that his idea of Eden would be to live with Vash and their friends in a peaceful world where none of them have to fight and die. In the manga, Nick's dying request is to see Vash smile again- the genuine smile that he's complimented every time he's seen it. Vash can't give him that, because he knows Nick would see that it was a forced smile. Instead, he just sits with him until he dies. Afterwards, Vash kills willingly for the first time in his entire life (over 150 years. He's not human btw) in order to protect Nick's childhood friend Livio. He wouldn't just do that for just any friend or ally, no, that was out of love. Love so strong he could go against his own mother's teachings that all life matters and people don't get to choose when a life ends, the thing that has kept Vash pacifist all these years, to keep someone that mattered to Nick alive. So while Nick never knew that Vash cared for him the same way he did him, the fact matters that he does."

Praying (Ke$ha)

Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell/I had to learn how to fight for myself/And we both know all the truth I could tell/I'll just say this is I wish you farewell

"Ke$ha putting all her rage and pain into one song directed at her abuser, while also being a triumphant musical comeback after escaping his control over her career"

#fuck you up bracket #polls #tournament #hozier #ke$ha

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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Am I the asshole for obsessing over a misunderstanding about my birthday?

This involves myself, my best friend M, her sister K, and K's best friend L. We're all early-twenties. I've known the three of them since high school. M is the person I'm closest to outside of family, and though I've never been close to K or L, we've been hanging out more during this summer. They're fun to be around.

My birthday is coming up soon, so I put the three of them in a group chat to come up with plans. Everyone was making suggestions and things were going fine until I suggested watching a movie. I said something like, "I think I wanna force y'all to watch a movie. Idk what, it's gotta be niche." (I was exaggerating; I do that. I probably would have picked a Disney cartoon.) M was against the movie idea and said she'd rather have a game night. I said that it is my birthday, and she can sit through a movie she wouldn't pick for one night. It's not something I'd normally ask her to do. She still disagreed. I asked why she thought I'd pick something everyone else would hate? M pointed to my use of the word "force," saying she'd taken me literally. I asked why (and how) would I do that? She couldn't answer, and eventually I let it go and apologized for harping on it the next day.

A few days later, I gave the suggestion to go rollerskating, and all I got was an "okay" from M. I was getting left on read, so I asked everyone to give their opinions. M said it was my birthday; I should pick something to do and they'd go along with it. I was a bit upset by this since I didn't know what to do; that's why I was asking for opinions. Since everyone was apparently down for anything, I suggested a movie again. This time, M was fine with it, and we began discussing details. I suggested listing a few movies and having everyone vote for what we'd watch. M said I should just choose a movie.

I expressed confusion about M's sudden turnaround about the movie idea. M said her issue wasn't with watching a movie, but my use of the word "force." I said I was still confused about what her problem was with that. She said she'd taken me literally. I expressed confusion again. She sent a screenshot for the definition of the word "force" and highlighted words like "coerced" and "against their will." She also added that my birthday was going to be awkward if we couldn't get past this. I asked how she could have taken my phrasing literally since that didn't make any sense, and she started getting very angry, saying if we couldn't drop it, she wouldn't be coming to my birthday since it was getting "ridiculous." I clarified that I wasn't arguing, I genuinely wanted to understand what made her think I'd literally force everyone to watch a movie. M left the group chat. I was, and still am, perplexed.

I asked K and L for their opinions since they'd stayed silent. K implied that M was being stubborn and that M just wished I'd worded it differently, but that doesn’t line up with how she was acting. I just can't wrap my head around it all. It sounds silly to say my best friend since high school isn't talking to me or coming to my birthday because I worded something wrong. I know that I'm fixated on this conflict and beating it to death isn't going to help, but I want to understand her thought process. I must be missing something. Now I just want to forget my birthday, which is really sad and unlike me. The people I've told seem to be taking my side, but I want outside opinions. AITA? (Please be kind in the comments)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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monstersinthecosmos · 1 year ago

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(I deeply, sincerely apologise if you don't want to receive this sort of ask. Please ignore it is that is the case) however, Claudia and Madeleine survive au with awful lesbian voyeuristic dynamic - Claudia treating Madeline like her doll, obsessively sketching her and being vicariously fascinated with her body, forcing her into all the fascinating female trends of the late nineteenth century (I gave Thoughts about Claudia and the New Woman era, specifically how she would be attracted to it's views but yet again impeded from meaningfully participating in it.), having Madeline impersonate her in the 'grown up' world - since Claudia didn't turn Madeline herself, given time there's the chance she might eventually learn to use the mind gift, and her using it to literally see the world through Madeline's eyes, treating her body as if it were her own, growing more like a doll herself, sitting in her room and living vicariously through her lovely puppet, having Madeline bring her victims (I am getting brainworms thinking about the bloodsharing between them), and Madeleine accepting it all willingly - her chance to be a mother again - she's half mother, half dutiful wife, half child, half protégée/muse; instead of feeling life grow inside her again she is overcome from the inside out by the mind of a long dead, long constrained woman. It would be like an even more fucked up Devil's Minion, I think. Ugh, I have so many thoughts about them, but I am neither a good enough writer of literary critic to properly understand them myself. That said, a thousand apologies if you find this content disturbing or just not for you, I absolutely understand.

she's half mother, half dutiful wife, half child, half protégée/muse; instead of feeling life grow inside her again she is overcome from the inside out by the mind of a long dead, long constrained woman

okay first of all, IM GLAD YOU SAID THIS LOL don't worry i am unshakable I love disturbing content, you've come to the right place!

SECOND, PLEASE DO NOT NEG YOURSELF ABOUT BEING A GOOD ENOUGH WRITER OR CRITIC BECAUSE THESE ARE SOME FUCKING INCREDIBLE IDEAS AND YOU WROTE IT DOWN JUST FINE. If you ever turned this into a fic it would be SO GOOD!!!!!!!

But wow wow what a fucking concept!! Ironically it feels EXTREMELY Ricey but like, perhaps could never have existed as a Claudia concept for Anne at the time she wrote IWTV.

I love this so much you don't understand, I will be haunted by it for months. yes. YES!

I wonder so much about like what would have been for Claudia if they had survived. AND LIKE IRONICALLY, IN AN ANNE RICE FRAMEWORK, I wonder what type of like casual internalized misogyny would've come out of it. Like Claudia was already SO CRUEL to Louis, and I wonder if she was simply too sick of him, too resentful, couldn't get past it--does that go away for a new person or was Claudia innately cruel? Does she--in Rice-Typical-Casual-Misogyny--become EVEN COLDER to Madeleine because she's a woman?

Or even wondering, does relating to Madeleine as a proxy of herself make her even crueler just by this different dynamic that she didn't have with Louis? If Claudia had lived, would she have bounced from adult to adult until she got sick of them, because that resentment would've bubbled up eventually always? In this situation it's almost like she goes from not seeing Madeleine as a complete person to being sick of her, the way she was sick of Louis. SHE WOULD JUST LEAVE SUCH A FUCKIN TRAIL OF HOPELESS DEVOTEES BROKEN IN HER PATH. (This is also very Let the Right One In adjacent im sdjhgka)

Anyway I think this could be such a good fic or even SERIES of fics about the miscellaneous adventures and depravity that happens, I hope you write it!!!! PLEASE WRITE IT YOU HAVE A BIG BRAIN!!!

#claudia #madeleine #claudia/madeleine #this is a super cool concept i am in love with it i adore you #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire

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blazehedgehog · 1 year ago

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hey! regarding people who are politely declining to comment their opinions on your Frontiers video, i don't think it's anything personal – i think some people just find engaging with the greater Sonic discourse to be exhausting (myself included!) and would rather respect the opinions and personal space of others than engage in debate.

which brings me to my question: how do you handle it? you've been fielding comments and asks from rabid Sonic fans for so long, you seem to have it down to a science!

I can understand being exhausted with discourse, yeah. There are some things I'm like that with. But... I dunno, the response to the Sonic Frontiers in general is also a little weird and I'm starting to think I made a bad first impression with some of what I had to say. Some people are taking it personally in a way that it's not directed at them.

But -- and I do not say this disparagingly -- that's Sonic fans. I get it. It's not true so much these days, but ten years ago, twenty years ago, this industry loved to beat up on Sonic and especially Sonic fans, eventually. Some people don't see that I'm one of them too, which is also understandable, because not everybody knows me.

I'm weighing options on how to deal with that. I've said it before but doing follow-up "correction/comment response" videos seem to be a good idea, but I don't know if I should wait until the final DLC is out or try and get it released sometime next week.

As for how I handle it... I don't know. Maybe it just comes naturally. I remember way back when I first got on the internet, when I was on AOL, the big thing everybody was doing back then before blogs was Mailing Lists. "MLs" for short. People would send you a message like "I would like to subscribe to your ML," so you'd write down their email address, and once a week or so you'd send out this gigantic email that was practically its own whole website.

And I juggled two or three MLs, for Sonic, for Pokemon, for Sailor Moon. I'd attach files for MP3s, I'd do Q&A sections, the whole nine yards, and I was like... 15. And I'd get comments (email replies) from people telling me that they loved how natural I sounded. Apparently people running other MLs were pretty wooden and robotic with their writing style, but I was always very conversational and approachable. And the numbers bore that out; I remember having several mailing lists crest 100+ subscribers, which felt like a huge deal.

And it's weird, because if you met me in real life, I'm maybe the most quiet, reserved person on earth. I have to force myself to speak out. I live in a house with five other people and I will go days where the only thing I say to anyone is telling my nephews good night. I feel like I can't talk. Like I don't know how. Which is a whole other kettle of fish, especially when it comes to recording voice over for a video.

But you sit me down in front of a keyboard, or even maybe a phone to some degree, where I can type out my thoughts? I used to be able to type as fast as some people could speak. And literally as I write this right now, I am more or less mouthing the words, either physically or in my head, as I type them. Like I am saying them. It's all a stream of consciousness. That goes for things I write here on this blog and it goes for video scripts, too. It's always flowed as naturally as running water (maybe too naturally, for how rambly I can get).

I would love to have the confidence to speak in the same way I type, and I know I have the capacity for it. I just get too nervous in the moment.

And as for how I handle people who are rude or don't understand me or whatever, I mean I have theories, but ultimately I don't know.

Like, something I learned early on was to distinguish the difference between people who are actually angry and people who are just trying to hurt you for laughs. I remember, all the way back when I was in Kindergarten or First Grade, some kids on the school bus were trying to get a rise out of me and in my head I kept thinking "They're just trying to make me mad, so I won't give them the satisfaction." And I just went totally stonefaced. When I objectively refused to react, they left me alone.

A few years later, I had friends who turned out to be bitter enemies that may or may not have ruined my life, and again, I learned new skills to deal with baseless people who were just trying to make me angry. I learned how to cope with or avoid some of that.

(Until eventually the bomb went off, I beat a kid black and blue, and was nearly charged with assault at 13 years old.)

And then a few of my first internet friends were deeply stubborn people who reveled in their ability to be rude, frustrating assholes. And, again, I learned ways to avoid, cope with, or defuse those people.

(Until I got tired of dealing with them and cut them out of my life entirely.)

Like, compared to some of the things I've had to endure, some of the things "friends" have said or done to me, an angry internet comment feels like a stiff breeze.

And I also just love putting myself in someone else's shoes. Thinking about how they came to a different conclusion than I have. Ask people who knew me 20 years ago and they'll tell you I used to (and still sort of do) live by a mantra that all arguments start as misunderstandings. If two people come to terms with their differences in perspective then all problems can be solved.

So I learned that when someone has a problem with me or something I've said, I just need to explain it better, or explain it more. If the scope of what I said is too small, then I need to provide a bigger picture view of where I'm coming from. And 90% of the time that is a great way to solve a problem, to come to terms and say "Tell me where you're coming from and I'll tell you where I'm coming from and we can meet in the middle." You're being heard, they're being heard, everybody (usually) wins.

I always try to come at everything in good faith like that. Even anger comes from somewhere. Understanding that helps everyone.

(Now, I don't always have the energy for that. There was a twitter thread last week where I incited quite a bit of Discourse™ and I eventually became exhausted by the endless supply of people who were looking for cheap dunks, or were being weirdly rude, plus I was deep into deadline stress... I ended up getting kind of punchy in a way I'm not super proud of)

And I guess just... all of this stuff, it all just combines into my ability to mostly handle it.

Which is why it can feel so weird when people don't want to engage me.

#questions #skysometric #sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team

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seoafin · 1 year ago

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hey i hope this doesn’t come the wrong way or condescending or know it all but as someone who used to struggle a lot with making friends in the past and worried about having someone to talk to in class to an unmanageable degree the trick to it so so so simple it rlly is just talking to ppl😭 ik that sounds annoying but especially in uni everyone is so fucking lost and confused there and everyone rlly rlly wants to have someone to talk to like literally just ask people for their number know that whatever u try it doesn’t matter it’s gonna be awkward at first and it’s gonna suck until y’all reach a point that it doesn’t. and honestly it most likely will not work out you’re not gonna find a best friend of the cusp but someone to talk to for a while and then a new semester will come and you have to do the same thing again and not let it beat u down it sucks but the more u do it the more likely it’ll be that you’ll eventually find someone u vibe with rlly well and this is coming from a commuter😭😭 so u know if anyone struggled with making friendships it’s me. ik i’m being rlly like obtusely direct and what everyone wanted was probably just some words of comfort but like if it helps if it helps anyone at all what i do is sit down at a table or somewhere full of girls (i hate the idea of trying to be friends with guys) i do commute so i like dressing up so it helps to look presentable u know and if ur gonna pick out a table pick girls who styles match ur own or you feel like y’all would vibe well that you think you can talk with or make small talk with (it’s hell but it helps to broach into more interesting topics😭😭) also eye contact is massively important eye contact and one of those white people smiles where u nod at them that is honestly the best step!!! i’m in graphic design so i got the chance to just come up to someone and just be like ‘oh i like or oh that’s neat’ something else i used to do in more academically inclined classes would be to compliment something about them like nails helps jeans or their clothes ppl loveeee to talk about themselves rlly especially art kids ugh i sound insufferable i swear to god i’m not coming from a higher place it’s just a rlly good method especially if u do it over and over and over again u don’t get time to doubt yourself or question whatver the hell ur doing i sound so annoying but it also helps if u mirror the person ur talking to like their vibe and most important of all of u make plans like dinner coffee or study plans force yourself to go to them!! it’s hell i hate it but it’s necessary to make connections and friendships also it was smt rlly tough to realize but not everyone in your life is meant to be your closest most amazing friend some people are meant to just be there for a while and that’s okay!! pls feel free to ignore if i sound annoying or higher thou in any way it just genuinely is helpful to me i tend to fall rlly into myself when i feel lonely in a class or when i can’t talk to ppl it makes me overthink and kinda hate myself so if it does help anyone i just wanted to send this in ALSO if it’s a real real friend and it’s meant to happen you’ll rlly just need to be yourself my best friend i met after highschool i met online through a friend of a friend and i would do anything for her love her but if there’s anyone at all whokinda kicks themsleves over not being able to talk to ppl in class or grab coffee and this might help them i thought it would be nice to send😭😭 i also just rlly do like getting to know ppl and talking to ppl so this pushes me more to do that

no you don't sound condescending at all this is GREAT advice that i also stand behind. it's all about talking people DO love talking about themselves. and people are more inclined to remember you if you make eye contact and regularly make an effort to talk to them!!!!! make plans and GO to them. there's no shame in making life friendships even after your so-called prime years. i had like 1 real friend in high school. didn't even meet the bulk of my friends until this year!!! It's never too late!!!

#to the anon in my inbox with depression having trouble connecting with others....this!!!!#also the advice about not everyone wanting to be your friend...yes it hurts but it's also something i think everyone should realize #anyway this is so great thank you for sending it in and articulating it way better than me super helpful!!!!#f

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caffeine-clouds · 2 years ago

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Heyo!! I wanted to give this a try - it looked pretty fun ^^ Do you have/do anything that helps you overcome writers block? If so, please share! (Also, here’s a complimentary photo of my famous cat that’s made multiple appearances in your comments)

AAAAAAH CUTE CAT ALERT OMGGG WHAT A SWEETIE 💕💕 You have to let me know their name!!

Oooo, as for the question - writer's block hmmm, it's not something I struggle with often thankfully, but I have my ways to get out of it. The main thing is that even when I just can't think of anything to put down on my document - I will sit down and force myself to write SOMETHING. It will be short, but most importantly it'll be shit - I'll just write a scene of OOC dialogue without tags or the laziest descriptions you've seen in your life.

This then shifts my brain from the "new ideas, creative" mode into the "correction" mode - I will read it as the awful piece of garbage that it is and my brain will want to correct it, which in turn makes me come up with ideas TO correct it and make it better. Essentially I just trick my brain lmao into working in my favor.

But usually like- maybe planning out plot events that I'm stuck on, it really is a case of just - not touching it for a while, and if you do touch it - only briefly. Those long bursts of time in between are really helpful in eventually finding that one idea that sticks

And lastly - I ALWAYS try to get those fleeting thoughts down in my notes app or literally in my college notebook as I'm working. Because ideas have a habit of showing up at inconvenient times so you end up forgetting about them later XD

Thank you so much for the ask Milky! :)

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madafact · 8 months ago

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for the worms..

i have been to the other side, and it is muddy.

so a year is creeping up on us and what a year it has been. like crusty, iron stained sheets from conceiving with a virgin, a future lays somewhere in the mix. surely a few cumstains to paint the picture, and eventually a divorce, a new Instagram account, and a change of hair color... WHY NOT?

sorry...

ill get off my literary masturbation station and get to stepping with a catch up. today is may 4th, I am in my van In San Diego. here is how and why I got here..

losing Anthony only began the intertia of losing most of what I call people. friends, family, familiarity. its all gone into the cultural soup ripe with cyanide and other long sleep inducing ingredients.

terrie is barely hanging on. her 93rd birthday is on June 8th and that's when she is choosing to call the reaper. her party of all the years is coming, and you're not invited...don't worry, neither am I.

i asked Gregg to kick out the renters, to me its inappropriate that they live in the house of a dying old woman. but again, I was told to get the fuck out..lol. having strangers by your dying bedside is the stain on the bone china that just keeps giving.

gregg is a fucking wreck, an absolute lost aimless, swinging at air screaming at clouds, blaming his son kind of wreck. jaws of life have no purpose here, there will be no grateful set of lungs retrieved from this mess.

i cashed out my retirement to be able to survive, after spending nearly $7,000 on getting Anthony's things back from New York and the subsequent sheep dog guarding of his memory. but money is not the crucifix. love and support are the nails putting me up against this cross.

all I wanted ever was a place to call home. the feeling of not having to fight to feel welcome, a willing invitation is literally the call of the wolves, signaling a meal is slowing down its escape. I can't explain to you how promoting love in the halls of despair only causes the inhabitants to slam their doors shut, locking each subsequent lock with more force than the last. a small way to show you a massive fuck off, you're not welcome.

terrie used to have a house filled to the ceiling with shit. each room a pyre of UNOPENED letters, coupons to closed stores, and I'm willing to bet the skeleton of some poor creature who was mistaken thinking it was a shelter. Anthony and I literally tackled this monolyth over many years, slowly digging our personalities out from the weight of shame. why else would you bury your feelings, and physical body?

so long story short, I have a massive landing spot for trauma and anxiety and it comes in the form of cluttered areas, UNOPENED letters and trash. gregg chose to move all of his trash, failed correspondence and hopes and dreams right into that spot. essentially telling the child inside of me, YOU ARE NOT SAFE.

so sitting in my van in San Diego I find myself baffled. I lost my brother to careless menial people and now alcohol is targeting what ever is left. no invitations to Costa Rica, no notions of bar grand openings. I wonder what Anthony thinks of his "friend group" now?

i feel farther from Anthony when put next to these people. I feel like Anthony gave less than two fucks about me. now with all this familial self immolation its been proven. poor Anthony was just an object, even to his own father. an idea. a cause. not a person screaming out for love.

so, before I start my next verbal litter box, I'll tell you the end.

terries dying,

gregg has prostate cancer and drinks daily.

the house in oceanside is in jeopardy more than its ever been.

and I'm in my van by the side of the freeway in san Diego.

as Anthony drifts farther and farther into the ether...

love you

miss you

forever.

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petersbaby · 2 years ago

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Stepbro!eddie installment #2

*disclaimer that you are 18*

Warnings: I can’t think of any, other than stepcest. the smut in this one is pretty vanilla.

This version sucks tbh, I accidentally pressed “cut” on the story that I had finished writing yesterday when I was trying to copy it from my notes app. It kinda made me wanna scream. I was so happy with it too.

“So, you do a lot of studying last night? Do you think you’re ready for the test today?” Your mom asks.

You four were eating breakfast. You, your mom, your mom’s boyfriend, and you stepbrother Eddie.

“I did, and I’m ready. Gonna do well, I hope.”

“No you didn’t, you stayed up and watched a movie with me last night. And we-“

You kicked Eddie’s shin underneath the table. You chug the rest of your orange juice, grab your backpack and slip into your boots as you head out the door. With the gravel crunching beneath your feet, you walk up to Eddie’s van and hop in so he can take you both to school. You wait, wondering what the fuck he could possibly be taking so long for. Impatiently, you reach over and honk the horn. Moments later, he comes out of the door with a pop tart in his mouth. Approaching the driver’s side door, he yanks it open and gets in.

“Can you get it moving? Your slowness is gonna make us late.”

“You are so annoying. You know that?” His voice sounds different from one that matches the words. You can tell he’s just joking, but get a little sassy anyways.

“You’re the annoying one.”

“Am not. How am I annoying?” He questions, his mouth full and you look away as it’s gross to see the food in his mouth as he talks. “Gross”, you mumble to yourself.

“Well for one, you’re constantly teasing me. You keep almost telling them.”

“I do not.” He says with a frown.

“You literally JUST did it five minutes ago. Sometimes you just can’t shut up.”

“Chill out. Your mom or my uncle will only find out if you keep being loud like you were last night. ‘Oh, Eddie, ohmygod’” he mocks your moans. You punch him in the arm with enough force that he winces.

“Shut up.”

Once you arrive at school, you quickly jump out of the van, not wanting to be seen in his rust bucket of a vehicle. You run to the main entrance, leaving him behind.

Once home that day, you drop your bag at the door and kick off your shoes. Today was a short day for everyone, getting off an hour early which meant your parents were likely still at work. All you knew is at least for now they were, both cars gone when you pulled into the driveway.

As you walk to your room, you’re pulled into the hallway bathroom. You gasp slightly at the surprise. Eddie closes the door behind you both, as he presses you up against the bathroom counter, to which you jump up to sit on the surface near the sink. He kisses you desperately, like he can’t breathe without his lips on yours. He runs his hands up the curve of your waist underneath your t shirt, eventually venturing upwards to grab your breast and squeeze it over your bra. You’re flustered, but finally remember that you shouldn’t be doing this.

“Wait stop, they’re gonna be home soon.”

“You have no idea what it does to me to see you at school looking all cute, not being able to touch you or kiss you in front of anyone.”

He places kisses up and down your neck while continuing to grope you beneath your shirt, lightly as to not make marks.

“You’re so beautiful, I just want you all to myself. I own you, you’re mine. My pretty little sister.”

At this sensation of his breath on your neck and his possessive but exciting words, you cave. You pull him off of your to look him in the eyes.

“Okay, but you’ve gotta be quick.”

“I can do that.”

You unbutton your jeans, lifting your backside up off the counter as you slide them off. He’s so desperate, ravenous, and takes no time with unbuttoning his own, taking off his shirt as well. He presses against you again, this time more intimate because you can feel his clothed boner against your clothed pussy, just begging for direct contact.

You kiss passionately, deeply, but not so deep that tongues were involved. The perfect medium, his lips were perfect, always soft and plump,

“These need to go. Take them off.” He says, pulling at the waistband of your panties and you oblige, slipping them off your legs leaving you half naked. You watch as he eagerly gets out of his own underwear, coming back to line himself up to you and push inside.

You moan at the feeling, the perfect feeling of him being inside you. He returns to your neck, licking up and down it, and kissing and nibbling on your ear which gives you goosebumps.

You throw your head back as he pushes the deepest he can go into you, the cool countertop against your ass as he thrusts.

“Who’s are you? Who’s pretty pussy is this?”

“Yours, eddie, it’s yours. I’m all yours”

He loved to be in charge, to remind you what your place is.

As much as you were enjoying it, you were paranoid. “Have to hurry, remember?”

You had realized you wouldn’t get to cum this time, but were fine with it. You just wanted him to get off so that you could get out of this risky situation.

“Right, fuck, okay”

He picks up the pace, looking down at the point where the two of you meet, watching himself go in and out of you.

“Please cum, I want it, need you to cum”, whisper in encouragement. The words made him falter, beginning to get sloppy with his movements.

He grabs the hem of your shirt, pushing it up just in time as he pulls out and cums all over your thighs and lower stomach. He catches his breath for a second, then grabs a towel from the little bathroom closet, wiping down your skin and getting all of the sticky liquid off of you.

He hands you your clothes back, and gets his back on. He kisses your forehead sweetly, right after which you hear the front door unlock and you panic, scrambling out of the bathroom and to your bedroom, attempting to look like you didn’t just have sex. Like you’d been there all along, reading a book in your bed.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #tw stepcest #stepbro!eddie

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lordofthenerds97 · 2 years ago

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Wasting Away: Chapter 5

Rating: M for eventual chapters, mild cursing, and nonexplicit sexual content Pairing: Eddie x Reader, Past Billy x Reader, and onesided Steve x Reader if you squint Summary: You were broken. Falling apart. Trying to put yourself back together. Whatever the hell they wanted to call it. All you knew was you were hurting. The Upside Down had been the bane of your existence for a long time. But now you had a reason to hate it. Will your hatred be enough to help take down the latest in a long line of monsters? TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: •Mentions of suicide •Unhealthy coping mechanisms (borderline Bulimia, other eating disorders) • Reader has flashbacks/mild panic attack Masterlist

With a frustrated sigh, you crumpled the note and chucked it at the nearby trash can.

They just didn’t seem to get the hint.

Ms. Kelly had left yet another note in your locker. This time, there was a veiled threat of expulsion should you not follow directions. She was again insisting that you see her.

Both you and your parents had explained that you had no desire to see a school’s counselor when you were seeking help from an actual professional. But they didn’t seem to get the message.

It made you more angry than anything.

You slammed the locker door shut and stalked towards the counselor’s office. Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the strap of the bag slung over your shoulder. You had to remind yourself to take deep breaths to try and calm the rage that was boiling up inside you.

As you stepped down the few stairs, you saw that the door to her office was open. Taking the opportunity, you stalked inside.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re-“

“Look,” you interrupted with a scowl. “I’ve told you and I’ve told the principal; I’m not going to see you for counseling. I’m seeing an actual therapist. She’s helping me. I’m coping. I’m grieving. So leave me the hell alone. I’m gonna have my bad days and not be able to get myself out of bed to come to school. I’m not going to force myself, either.”

She blinked quickly a couple times, looking taken aback by your outburst. “I think if you just let me-“

“I swear to god, if you try to talk me into coming to talk to you, I’m walking out this door and never coming back. To you or this school.”

Ms. Kelly took a deep breath. “Can I ask you a question?”

You rolled your eyes. “You already did. But fine.”

“Why are you so against talking to me.”

Letting out a huff, you gave her a blank stare. “I literally just told you. I’m seeing a therapist. Someone who can actually help me.”

“What makes you think I can’t?”

“Because as much as you like to think you do, you have no idea what the hell you’re doing. You’re going to tell me literally the same thing every other person does; to get out of the house, spend time with my friends, get back into the world. I’m sorry Miss Kelly, but you have no clue what I’m dealing with. You don’t know the burdens I carry, the guilt I feel, or the pain I have.”

She opened her mouth to answer, but you kept right on going.

“I think you want to do your best to help, but you’re not fully equipped. How do you help kids with PTSD? How do you help someone who had another person die in their arms? How do you help someone who’s seen so much shit that they can’t sleep…and when they do, they’re plagued with nightmares? How do you look someone in the eyes and tell them that the world they knew is gone forever? How do you teach someone to trust again? How do you help someone with a mind so broken that they think the only way to fix it is to kill themselves? If you can answer those questions, Miss Kelly, then I’ll gladly sit down and pour my heart out to you.”

She looked taken aback, and for a moment, you felt a little guilty for the onslaught.

“I didn’t realize you were dealing with all of that…I’m so sorry.”

You sighed. “There’s a lot about me you, and everyone else, don’t know.” Tears had welled up in your eyes but you managed to blink them back. “I know you want to help, I don’t fault you for that. But, please…let me get the help I need. And please stop trying to pressure me into talking to you.”

She hugged her arms around her middle as a guilty expression took over her face. “I’m sorry. Of course, if what you’re doing is helping you, keep doing it. You’re right…I can’t answer those questions. But eventually, I’d like to learn how.”

You nodded. “Thank you. I appreciate it. And…thank you for trying to help Max. I know she’s a tough nut to crack, but she needs it.”

“Of course. And…thank you for seeing me and explaining this to me. You’ve helped me understand a lot. Thank you.”

Giving her another curt nod, you turned on your heel and headed back in the direction you’d come from. You had to take a deep breath to keep the tears back as you walked. Your sneakered feet would squeak every once in a while with a step.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.

Another deep breath.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.

Breathe.

“I love you trouble. I’m sorry…”

You faltered, your injured leg shaking under your weight.

Grunting quietly, you forced yourself to recover, the muscles screaming in protest.

“You okay sweetheart?”

Turning your head slightly to the right, you saw Eddie approaching you with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, just an old injury that hasn’t healed.”

He frowned. “What happened?”

“I got impaled by a piece of rebar in one of the many explosions in the mall.” The lie slipped easily from your lips, and you had to force yourself not to wince. You didn’t want to lie to him.

“Damn. Yet another badass moment.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Morning, Eddie.”

At that, he grinned. “Morning sweetheart. How was your night?”

A half shrug was your answer. “Better than normal but still not great.”

His concern was back in an instant. His brows furrowed and he examined your face closely. “Need to talk about it?” he asked gently.

“Another nightmare. I didn’t wake up screaming this time, which was nice. But I woke up at 3:27 and wasn’t able to go back to sleep.”

He hummed quietly. “I’m sorry. Did you at least make yourself some breakfast?”

You were quiet, deciding the floor was more interesting than his face.

“Sweetheart?”

“No…” you mumbled.

He chuckled. “I figured as much. I stopped at Terry’s on the way.” He pulled his hands out from behind his back, holding up two white paper bags. “Breakfast sandwich or a burrito?”

Your eyes lit up and you grinned at him. “You didn’t have to do that, Eddie.”

He smiled at you. “I know. But I wanted to. So, sandwich or burrito?”

“Burrito please.”

His smile didn’t leave his face as he handed you the bag in his left hand. He watched as you quickly unwrapped the burrito and took a few bites. “Dusty told me you haven’t been eating like you should. We’re gonna change that.”

You paused mid bite, looking at him with a raised eyebrow as your mouth had began to clamp down around the tortilla. “What?” you mumbled.

He laughed. “You’re cute when you’re befuddled.”

Swallowing, you glared at him. “I’m not cute!” you protested. Then you paused. “Did you just say befuddled?”

His grin widened. “I did.”

Now, it was your turn to laugh. The glare melted away as the humor of the sentence hit you. “Who says befuddled?”

“I do!”

You shook your head at him and turned back to your burrito. He was right…you were hungry. And the caffeine high you were on was slowly fading away. You were going to need something to help keep your energy up.

“I’m serious though, sweetheart.”

You stifled a sigh and continued eating, allowing him to plead his case.

“Trust me, I know the feeling. I barely ate for weeks after mom and Casey died, Hardly even enough to keep me from starving. Lost a lot of weight and muscle. Almost got my ass hauled to an institute for attempted suicide. My Uncle helped me get straightened out. Now, I can tell you don’t look like yourself. Dusty said you’ve lost some more weight, too. I know you don’t want to eat…sometimes the thought of it even makes you sick, right?”

Looking at the floor again, you nodded. Sometimes even though you hadn’t eaten in more than 24 hours and you were actually hungry, the thought of forcing down food made you want to puke. It sent a small shudder down your spine just thinking about it.

“We’re gonna work on that. Breakfast is a start.” He smiled gently at you, nudging your arm and making you look up at him. “You know, I can see why Dustin calls you Bambi. Those doe eyes are adorable.”

You rolled your eyes and snorted. “Thanks,” you mumbled. “Actually, it came from a DnD campaign. I got polymorphed into a doe. And then I got hunted.”

Eddie couldn’t help it. He let out a loud laugh. “My god, sweetheart.”

You smacked his arm. “It wasn’t my fault! I was trying to fight the Hydra that was attacking Will and Lucas!”

He shook his head. “How the hell do you get polymorphed and not realize it?”

You glared, knowing full well how. “Dusty is a sneaky little bastard.”

“Who said what about me?”

Both you and Eddie turned to see Dustin walking up with a grin.

“I said you’re a sneaky little bastard!” you said, giving him the side eye.

“That’s me!”

Eddie couldn’t stop chuckling. “He really is though. Puts up quite a fight in my campaigns.”

Rolling your eyes, you finished the last of your burrito and threw the wrapper into a trash can not far from you. “If you two will excuse me, I’ve got to find Max.”

“I’ll catch up with you at lunch, Bambi. I need some help with some Lit homework if you don’t mind.”

You nodded. “Sure.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “The smartass needs help with homework?”

Dustin shoved him slightly, but Eddie didn’t even budge, just smirked at the teenager in front of him.

The thought made you stop for a moment. It made you wonder briefly what was stopping Eddie from graduating. You knew he’d flunked his senior year a couple times, so that put his age right around 19 to 20. Judging by his appearance, you’d guess closer to 20. Not wanting to bring it up in front of Dustin, or for fear of embarrassing him, you let the thought go. But you made a mental note to cautiously ask him about it later.

“I’ll see you guys.”

~*~*~*~

It didn’t take you long to find Max. After hunting for a few minutes, you found her sitting outside on top of one of the picnic tables in the shade. She had the headphones of her Walkman covering her ears, and you could make out the lyrics of Running Up That Hill. Glancing down at your watch, you saw there was about 15 minutes before classes started.

You made your way over to her, dropping your bag on the ground beside hers and plopping onto the table top. She looked up when she felt the wood move before doing a double take when she realized who had sat down.

“Hey, Max.”

“Hey,” she greeted. “What’s up?”

You sighed. “I’m sorry.”

She frowned, confused. “What? Why?”

Turning to fully face her, you tucked one leg under the other. “I know I haven’t been there for you…I know you’re dealing with your own shit and grieving in your own way. I know your mom helps as best she can. And I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you, Max.” Your eyes teared up again as you spoke. “Billy was your brother. I know you guys didn’t get along all the time, but I also know you were both trying. He did love you…you know that right?”

She blinked in confusion, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown. “Where’s this coming from?” she asked suspiciously.

You sighed again and wiped the tears that fell. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I needed you to know.”

She eyes you cautiously. “You’re not…you’re not doing anything stupid…right?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m not.” You felt your throat start to close up. “Billy made me promise. No more cutting.” Your problems ran deep, and there were a lot of things you had struggled with over the years. Billy had caught you with a razor in your hands and blood on your arms. After cleaning you up and making sure you were okay, he made you swear you wouldn’t ever hurt yourself again.

After he died, you’d felt the urge more than once. The guilt was a crushing pressure on your shoulders. It wouldn’t ever make up for his death, you knew that. But having the cool metal pressed against your skin felt like a penance, something you could do to make up for it.

After all, it was your fault.

If you hadn’t called him, he never would’ve been on that road.

And it would’ve been you that was the puppet.

You pulled yourself out of your dark thoughts and took a deep breath. “I’ll be honest, I’ve picked up a razor a couple times. But I made a promise to him. And I’ll keep it if it kills me.”

Max nodded. She had seen the aftermath. Billy was on his way to drop her off to the arcade but stopped to get you first. Your parents weren’t home and you were fighting in a depressive episode. He’d screamed for her when he found you.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I haven’t been there for you either.”

Without a word, you wrapped your arm around her and pulled her to you. You crushed her in a hug, and she returned the favor.

“You’re coming with me this afternoon. We’re gonna go to the arcade and then rent some movies to binge tonight.”

She laughed. “I don’t really have a choice in this, so I?”

You shook your head with a chuckle. “No. Besides, I need to spend time with another girl for a change.”

Max raised an eyebrow as she pulled out of your embrace. “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes. “Dusty and Steve are starting to run off on me.”

She snorted. “Yeah, we need to change that.”

~*~*~*~

The end of the day rolled round fairly quickly. You weren’t surprised when you saw Dustin waiting for you by your locker. “What’s up, kid?” you said, opening the blue door and grabbing a couple books you would need for your homework before shoving a few others back in.

He shrugged. “Not a lot. Wanted to check in on you again.”

“I’m actually planning on taking Max to the arcade for a while. Then we’re gonna get a couple movies and have a girls night.”

“That’s a really good idea for both of you. I know you guys need it.”

You nodded. There hadn’t been a lot of fun in the last several months. Admittedly, you had tried. But that didn’t mean you would always be successful. You were always close with Max. The two of you usually did have quite a bit of fun together. But even that had slowly dribbled away. But, you were trying. “We do.”

“I was gonna hang out with Steve for a while tonight, we were actually thinking about going to the arcade. But we can totally avoid it if you and Max want to be by yourselves.”

Chuckling, you rolled your eyes. You knew you weren’t going to be able to get away from them so easily. “It’s fine. Just try not to hang around all night? Part of the point of me spending time with Max is because I spend too much with you and Steve. I’m starting to pick up some nasty habits from you two.” you said, scrunching up your nose.

Dustin snorted. “We’ll play a couple games with you and then get some pizza. Sound good?”

With a dramatic sigh, you resigned. “I guess.”

In all honesty, it didn’t bother you. While you were looking forward to spending time with Max again, you knew you were going to feel awkward. Logically, you knew you had no reason to. But that didn’t stop the pit from forming in your stomach. It had been a long time since it had been just the two of you. Looking back on the summer, you knew the grief was too raw for both of you. While they weren’t related by blood, Max had so many of Billy’s personality traits. His signature eye roll, a knowing smirk, and the way she carried herself. It was too much. While you were stuck living the nightmares in your dreams, having her right next to you every day was a living hell.

You felt bad for having those feelings. Now, it tore you to your core. But like Allie had told you, there were things you weren’t going to be able to do for a long time.

Spending time alone with Max happened to be one of them.

You needed to drag yourself out of those thoughts. For a second, you frowned. “Where’s Eddie?” You hadn’t seen him since the encounter at the beginning of the day.

Dustin shrugged. “Not sure. Wouldn’t surprise me if he skipped out. Why?”

“He brought me breakfast this morning. I wanted to give him a few bucks for it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Breakfast?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, you came in on the tail end of the conversation, buddy. I guess someone told him I wasn’t eating and lost some weight.” You gave him a pointed look, to which he rolled his eyes.

“He might’ve asked about it.” he said with a shrug. “He seemed pretty worried about you the other day. I was too. But I’m glad you’re making friends. Just be careful, yeah?”

You snorted. “Don’t worry,” you mumbled. “I’m already over analyzing everything.”

Dustin gave you a sideways look, but you weren’t really laying attention. His warning had sent your head into a tailspin again.

Everything you’d thought of that morning started running through your mind a million miles an hour. It wasn’t long before you got lost in the abyss.

It took Dustin snapping his fingers in front of your face to snap you out of the trance.

“Sorry,”

“You went all zoned out on me, Bambi. You okay?”

The thoughts quieted for a moment as you blinked and regained your focus. “Yeah…just gets overwhelming up here sometimes.”

He nodded and adjusted his bag as Max knocked into him with a smile. “Hey,” she said.

Dustin grinned. “Hey yourself, Mad Max. I heard about girls night. Enjoy!”

She nodded and looked at you. “We will.”

A small smile took over your face and you threw your arm over her shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Dustin waved as the two of you headed towards the exit. He continued watching as you walked out the door and down the sidewalk, his eyes not leaving you and Max until you had rounded a corner and were out of view. He quickly dug into his backpack and pulled out a walkie.

“Steve?”

“Yo.”

“Let’s move. Bambi is headed to the arcade with Max.”

“Get your ass out here, Henderson! We don’t have all day!”

~*~*~*~

You and Max were killing it at the arcade.

Your initial feelings of awkwardness had immediately been dispelled as soon as the two of you walked into the arcade. The neon lights and smell of greasy pizza brought you right out of your shell.

You’d spent the last few hours playing almost every game in the building. And contrary to what Dustin had said, you’d seen neither hide nor tail of him or Steve.

It didn’t really bother you.

Max was laughing. You were laughing.

And that’s what was important.

Glancing at the watch on your wrist, you grabbed Max’s shoulder gently and tugged her out of line for the bathroom. “Hey, we should head to Family Video if we still wanna rent some movies. My parents are gonna be home and working on dinner soon.”

“Good because I didn’t really want to use this bathroom anyway.” she chuckled.

~*~*~*~

You headed down the street, bag of movies and snacks in hand. Max was going on about the counselor, and how annoying she found Ms. Kelly to be.

You snorted. “Max, you know I would 100% support you seeing Allie. She’s helped me a lot. But if you’re not ready to, I’m not gonna try to force you or press the issue. As far as Ms. Kelly goes…I do think she wants to help. She’s got the right intentions.”

She rolled her eyes. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

A chuckle escaped you. “That’s true. But she’s trying. She doesn’t know exactly how to help, but she wants to. I know you and I don’t really talk about what happened…”

“BILLY!”

You heard Max’s scream as one of the tentacles tore through your leg.

You blinked and cleared your throat. “And that’s okay. But I think you need to open up to someone.”

You landed with a thud beside Billy. He was covered in blood and black goo that could have only come from the Flayer. You ignored the searing pain in your own body as you sobbed and crawled your way to him.

A choked sound came from you and Max immediately stopped, setting a hand on your arm.

“You okay?”

“Shit,” you gasped. You latched onto the hand that was on your arm.

Panic. Pain. Fear. Anger. All those emotions ran through you at once as you grabbed onto Billy’s shoulders. He grunted as you pulled him into your lap, coughing and making more blood bubble up from his throat. The gaping wound in his chest stared up at you.

“-snap out of it!”

A gasp took over and you almost lurched forward. Max gripped your arms tightly and managed to steady you. Your heart hammered in your chest and it felt like you’d been punched in the gut.

Max said your name again, putting her hands on your cheeks and turning your head so that you were looking at her.

“Breathe. You got this.”

You followed her instructions, breathing in shakily before exhaling through your mouth. Your whole body shuddered with the breath, and you couldn’t help the tremor that ran down your spine.

“Flashbacks?” Max asked?

You swallowed a cry that threatened to bubble up your throat before nodding. “Yeah. They’re more hellish than the nightmares sometimes.”

She nodded in understanding. “I get them too.”

You took a moment to try and compose yourself before you straightened. “Come on. I’m sure dinner is almost ready.”

Max gave you a knowing look as you squared your shoulders. “Do you need a few minutes?”

You shook your head and clenched your teeth. “If I take a few minutes, I’m gonna lose it.”

“Okay. We’ll just slow down a bit then.”

You glanced over at the redhead as she looped her arm through yours and leaned some of her weight on you momentarily. You reached over with your other hand and set it on her arm. “Thanks, Max.”

She looked up at you and smiled. “Always.” Then her eyes softened. “Do you want silence or a distraction?”

You sighed. “A distraction would be nice.”

She laughed. “Yeah? Alright…well, I’ve been thinking about joining a club.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh?”

You fell into easy steps as Max talked about some of the different clubs and activities that were offered as a Freshman. Like you, she had been secluding herself and keeping herself closed off. It was starting to affect her and she was craving the chance to throw herself into something.

The conversation carried itself with you asking a few questions and providing your input. Before you knew it, you were walking up the sidewalk to your house.

Both you and Max paused.

Dustin was standing there with his hands in his pockets and a wide, dorky grin on his face.

That immediately made you suspicious.

“Dustin…”

“Hey Bambi.”

Max looked just as suspicious as you did. “What’s going on?”

He shrugged. “Oh, nothing. Steve and I just thought we would come by and drop off a present for ya.”

“What?” you asked.

He beckoned you forward. “Come on.”

You shared a confused look with Max before following Dustin around the front of your dad’s Bronco. The garage door slowly began to lift up, revealing Steve sitting on the top of a vehicle covered by a grey sheet.

“Hey Princess.”

You just got more confused. “What’s going on?”

“We all know you’ve had it rough, Bambi. Anyone can see that. And…we know there’s not a lot we can do. But we wanted to do something for you.”

Steve took that as his cue to hop off the vehicle and walk around to the side. Without saying a word, he grabbed the sheet and ripped it off, sending dust flying in every direction.

You coughed, waving your hand in front of your face. But then you saw it.

The front end was sanded and dented in places, scratch marks still lining the bumper. The windshield that had been blown out was replaced, a shiny new sticker in the top drivers side corner.

It was beat up, there was no doubt about it.

But the open blue door was unmistakable.

Billy’s Camaro.

Taglist: @yourdailymemedelivery@1-fuzzy-squirrels@shiggay@chrisevansmarvelmcu@mrsyixingunicorn10@rebelcthulhu @ethen-often @liv-raines@inthemindofaweirdo@mystrangerfics@mattysheelies@hargrovesprincess@ssstutteringbbbill@fuchsia-knight@gooddoggodrogo @jaaxely@sebastiansloserclub@acthenerd@dollface-80 @prettyboyhargrove@uncle-keery@sydneyisnotawriter

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #steve harrington #dustin henderson #stranger things #reader insert #eddie is a softy #he has my heart #eddie munson fic

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h2bakugou · 3 years ago

Text

『 𝗵𝟮𝗯𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸 』 ✦ 𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝟭𝟴+ 𝗮𝘂 ; 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗸𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝘂 ; 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗦 𝗗𝗡𝗜

𝐈𝐕. 𝗯𝗮𝗸𝘂𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗱 ✦ 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀-𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴

𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ; between you and izuku’s relationship, sex was always something to touch on later, both literally and figuratively. so when you go to your closest guy friends seeking advice on how to please your boyfriend, they give you much more of hands on lesson than you had expected.

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 ; katsuki bakugou, eijiro kirishima, denki kaminari, hanta sero x reader

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ; 18+, smut, swearing, porn with plot/little plot, cheating, dub-con, virgin!reader, virginity stealing, oral (male and female receiving), overstimulation, orgasm denial, thigh fucking, cum play, spit play, spanking, fingering, bukkake, orgy, split roasting, biting, mentions of porn, partial revenge sex, sub/dom dynamics, praise kink, degradation, masturbation, double penetration, recording

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ; this came to me on a whim, i really needed to just get this out of my head. i’ve been in a weird headspace and this prompt just kinda came up and stuck with me. apologies for any spelling/writing errors, this piece was not proofread!!

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ; 6.7k

✦ 𝗻𝘀𝗳𝘄 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝘁 ✦

Wanting to be the perfect girlfriend for your ever so lovely boyfriend was becoming more of a challenge. Izuku was an angel, and heaven-sent. He was as sweet as he could be. And you loved him for all that he did for you.

Helping you study for your college classes, taking you on cute picnic dates to watch the sunset.

You were lucky to have a guy like him. But having a perfect guy like him meant you could also lose him. And you didn’t want that at all.

The two of you had never dabbled much into sex and all of its activities. There was the time you’d grinded against his lap, or made out while he jerked off under you, but you’d never done anything with him, just like he’d never done anything with you.

You were both nervous, but you wanted your first time together to be something special. Something you could both cherish. You wanted it to be perfect for him.

Since porn was the last place you wanted to take advice from, you swallowed your nerves and bit the bullet, asking your best group of guy friends if you could hang out at their flat for a bit.

And of course, in the group chat, you were all in together, they welcomed you over with open arms.

You settled on their couch instantly recognizing the neutral grey walls as your second home when you weren’t pacing around your own flat.

“So what’s up girlie?” Kaminari asks, already laying his head in your lap like usual.

“I have a really big favor to ask you all.” You stare worryingly at the floor, just past Kaminari’s head.

“What is it? You know we’re here to help.” Kirishima chimes in, honestly expecting some bad news.

“Don’t tell me that shithead Deku’s causing problems.” Bakugou grunts from his spot beside you on the couch.

“No, no. It does have to deal with Deku, but er...” You pause, swallowing the lump of nerves in your throat before spitting it out.

“We keep having these sexual moments, and I just wanna please him but I don’t know where to start so I thought I would ask you guys what feels good for men.” You suddenly feel as if the world has caved in, your frame much smaller than anyone else’s in the room.

As if a lightbulb had flicked on simultaneously in the male’s heads, they all gathered around you.

“Well, I know for a start, I like it when they look at me when they blow me. Makes me feel in control.” Kaminari grins.

“Yeah it’s the only time you’re in control.” Sero jokes. Kaminari slaps the ravenette and rolls off of your lap, sitting up beside you.

“So you want to have sex with Izuku finally?” Kirishima asks. You nod sheepishly, still embarrassed to be so open about your sex life, or lack of one, with some of your best friends.

“Have you ever had sex before?” Bakugou asks bluntly. Your silence speaks volumes as the four men around you all seem to get the same idea yet again.

“We can give you some tips!” Kirishima’s words aren’t supposed to have a double meaning, but in a matter of seconds, Bakugou’s standing right in front of you, gazing down at you with lust-filled eyes.

“Take my belt off.” He speaks clearly.

“W-wait you guys are just supposed to teach me-”

“We are. Hands-on teaching seems to show the most progress does it not?” Kaminari butts in, his hands creeping up on your sides, dipping under your arms to undo the buttons on your blouse.

“We’re gonna help you understand what feels good for us! We can teach you better this way, so pay close attention.” Sero stood behind Bakugou, slinging his arm over Bakugou’s shoulder.

“If this is gonna help, I guess it won’t be too bad.” You mumble, your timid hands reaching for Bakugou’s belt.

“Look at me.” Bakugou’s voice ushers for your gaze. Your eyes travel up his clothed chest to his crimson eyes.

“Good girl.” Bakugou grinned, watching as your eyes widened.

“Bet stupid Deku doesn’t praise you.” Bakugou huffs. Your hands eventually undo his belt and now you stare at his abdomen. Bakugou tugs his shirt off over his head, revealing his toned chest.

You’re in awe.

“Izuku doesn’t look like that.” You think out loud, figuratively drooling over your best friend. Bakugou feels a strong sense of pride as he glances at Kaminari, who’s finally able to tug your shirt off and reveal those pretty tits he’s beat his dick to at night.

Photos of you in swimsuits, or teasing clips you’d posted to your instagram stories late at night in a bra or some sort of revealing top while you hung out with your girlfriends, Denki kept them all in a hidden folder and let out embarrassing moans when his hand jerked his cock at them.

“So pretty.” Kaminari mumbles, biting your shoulder as he unclamps your bra, finally seeing them in person, unobscured.

“Deku’s so fucking lucky.” Kaminari hisses, grabbing them roughly, kneading them in his hands harshly.

You whine, whether in pain or pleasure is unsure, the feeling of Kaminari’s hands kneading your tits like their just dough is making your cunt throb. And it suddenly feels so much hotter in the room when your eyes widen at the size of Kaminari’s bulge as you glance over at him.

“Does he touch you like this?” Kaminari whispers, his fingers twisting your nipples, tugging them between his thumb and forefinger as the rest of his hand continues to cup and massage your breasts.

“N-No. He’s never touched me.” You whine, your head hanging on your shoulders, embarrassed to be so turned on by this. This was wrong-

“Get my cock out. It’s time for you to learn how to suck someone off.” Bakugou places his hand on the back of your head and yanks your hair back, forcing you to look at him.

“Go on, or you won’t like when I do it myself. I’ll use your throat like a fleshlight.” Bakugou’s voice drops, watching as your hands find their way back to his pants.

“How come he gets to get blown first?” Kirishima mumbled to Sero, the pair gradually undoing their own pants, slowly palming over their clothed erections.

“Because I hate Deku the most.” Bakugou grunts.

“Oh fuck.” You curse, staring at Bakugou’s cock in awe.

“I’ve never seen one in person before...” You babble, completely shocked by the pure length and girth of the cock that’s twitching in front of you. Bright pink cockhead, with a prominent vein on the underside, he’s fucking huge. And for a second you wonder if you can even open your mouth wide enough to take even the head of him in your mouth.

But you get your answer soon enough.

“So innocent.” Sero’s ashamedly turned on by your innocence. The way you stared at Bakugou’s cock like it was the only thing in the room was enough to make him excited. He wanted to steal every moment from you. He wanted to ruin you.

“Open your mouth. Tongue out.” Bakugou instructs. You do as you say and you can see Bakugou visibly tense. His shoulders relax as he grips the base of his cock and slaps the head of it on your tongue.

“Rule number one. No teeth. Ever.” Bakugou makes this rule very evident as he taps his dick against your tongue.

“If it’s too much, tap me three times.” Bakugou says in a slightly gentler tone, almost as if he knew you were going to need to tap out.

“Well, it’s not gonna suck itself.” Bakugou huffs, smirking down at you. You try to think straight but nothing’s working. You search in the dirtiest parts of your brain, trying to remember all the magazines you’d seen telling you how to suck a guy to make him cum, but as you took Bakugou’s cock into your mouth, just past the tip, your jaw was already starting to ache.

Kaminari’s hands had traveled down to your shorts, teasing your bare skin as he slid his fingers under the waistband of your panties.

“Holy fuck.” Bakugou murmured, glancing back at Kirishima and Sero, who had now whipped their cocks out, stroking them while their pants sat pooled around their ankles.

“Is she good?” Sero asks, glancing over Bakugou to look down at you. You were clearly struggling, your hands resting in your lap awkwardly, not sure of where or what to do with them.

“Here, get on your knees down here.” Bakugou pulls his cock from your past your lips with a small ‘pop’ sound, his strong arms tugging you down off the couch, leaving Kaminari alone up there.

He quickly hops down too, sitting down behind you, taking the chance to play with your tits some more, biting and kissing your neck and shoulder.

Sero and Kirishima stand on opposite sides, now trapping you between all four males, one on each side of you.

You gaze at Sero’s cock. It was long, and lean, a significant curve set his apart from Bakugou’s. It was a bit thinner but still looked like it could do some serious damage.

Kirishima, on the other hand, seemed to outweigh them both. His cock was fat and hung along with the biggest balls you’ve ever seen-note you’ve seen three pairs so far.

It was thick, long, and veiny. And you were scared. If you could barely fit Bakugou’s in your mouth, you knew for a fact his wouldn’t fit at all.

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t ‘cha?” Kirishima teased as your hands daintily reached up to stroke Sero and Kirishima’s cocks. Something you’d seen in a porno once, where a girl was in a position similar to yours.

“Where’d you learn that one?” Kaminari teases, licking your shoulder.

“P-porn.” You stutter out.

“Oh.” Sero laughs.

“What a dirty girl you are.” Kirishima’s hips thrust forward, allowing your hand to complete the first stroke from the tip to the base.

You lean forward and take Bakugou’s cock back into your mouth, staring up at him as he grunts. His hands find their way to your hair, forcing you to take his length.

So much for going in slow and easy.

You’re sure you see the heavens for a moment. Your vision blurs with tears as Bakugou’s cock hits the back of your throat. Your hands stop moving on Sero and Kirishima’s cocks as you take a moment to adjust.

You mewl, your voice reverberating against Bakugou’s cock, the vibrations sending chills down his spine. He takes control, using your mouth as his own personal fucktoy.

And you were completely helpless. Besides the tears on your lashes and the ache in your jaw, your hands returned to jerking off the men beside you, your eyes still set on staring up at Bakugou as he smirked pridefully at you.

And then you felt it. Kaminari’s hands had slid down into your panties, his fingers just barely ghosted over your clit before you forced yourself down to the base of Bakugou’s cock, your hips jerking from the sensation alone.

“Woah there.” Kaminari pulled his hands out, giggling.

“Someone’s never felt that before.” He teases. You tap Bakugou’s leg three times and he pulls out, almost disappointed.

“Are you alright?”

“Does it feel good to be touched down there?” You ask your hands reaching to remove your shorts.

“I think you’re talking to the wrong crowd for that.” Kirishima jokes.

“Dumbass. Of course, it feels good. Don’t tell me you’ve never-”

“No! No! I’ve tried I could just never, make myself...”

“Oh my god.” Kirishima and Sero give each other an almost pitiful stare.

“And Deku’s never pushed sex so I always thought something was wrong with me. What if I can’t cum? How can I please him if I can’t-”

“Hey. Why don’t we help you out? Clearly touching you there evoked some sort of reaction, why don’t you relax and let me see if I can work something out of you.” Kaminari offers, rubbing your sides. You nod shyly.

Spreading your legs similarly, your movements are slow and timid as if you're scared to make a wrong move. Kaminari glances up to the others as they quickly picked up, Bakugou kneeling down to help remove your shorts and panties, which had a small damp spot, one Bakugou didn’t miss.

“You’re already soaking your panties. You’re enjoying this.” Bakugou retorted, staring in awe of your glistening cunt, one his childhood best friend had claimed before him.

It ate away at Bakugou daily. Seeing the two of you walk to classes together, or whenever you’d post snaps of you laying on his chest after he fell asleep during a movie night.

Or the way he’d call you baby in front of all your friends. It pissed Bakugou off. He was in love with you.

But oh was Bakugou going to take this chance by its reigns. He was going to show you exactly what you were missing being with that stupid nerd.

And even more so. Bakugou was going to take your virginity away from you, and away from the guy who you clearly thought was going to.

“Damn Deku really is lucky.” Sero whispered, his eyes locked tight onto your dripping cunt. It was beautiful. Sero had his fair share of one-night stands, and hookups, but he’d never seen one that looked like yours. God, it was captivating. He wanted to feel your tight, plush walls hugging his cock as he fucked into you from behind.

And then there was Kirishima, who stared in awe as well. His eyes wandered your naked body and wondered if you were truly the same girl going out with Deku.

Part of you being in a standing relationship was so enticing. Kirishima was nothing short of respectful, but wanting to destroy any sort of expectations you had for your first time with Deku sent his brain and cock into overdrive.

And there you were, legs sprawled out, cunt dripping your essence onto the soft carpeted floors, your back pressed into Denki's chest as his fingers reached down and spread your pussy apart.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you felt like you were going to implode. Your senses were heightened, and the slightest touch between your thighs made you squirm. Denki chuckled as the other males salivated over you, picking their jaws off the floor was the next step.

"Go on, why don't you find her clit." Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest with an evil grin.

"Oh shut the fuck up." Kaminari's fingers moved from the lips of your cunt to the hardened bud, and with one tiny little touch, you let out an embarrassing whine. Denki grinned as he moved his fingers in a slow circular motion over your clit, watching how you quickly clamped your legs together.

"Awe no, let them see just how good I am with my fingers." Kaminari cooed in your ear, using one hand to pry your legs back open, Sero bending down and grabbing the other, forcing them apart. You whined in pleasure as his fingers worked wonders against your clit, your back arching against his chest.

"Denki!" You cried out, feeling something building up inside of you. Kaminari grinned but Bakugou wasn't having it.

"Oi, enough. I wanna cum down her throat." Bakugou grunted, yanking you up to your feet from your forearm.

"Sit on his face and suck my cock, slut." Bakugou spat, your eyes widening. You nodded, glancing back at Kaminari who was already moving for you to do so. You were nervous, feeling awful for sitting on his face, but you didn't regret a thing when you felt Kaminari's tongue swipe through your folds.

The cold steel of his tongue piercing made you shiver as his tongue flicked across your clit making you whine.

"'m ready." You choked out, glancing at Bakugou.

"Us first." Sero stepped in, gripping the base of his cock, tapping it against your lips, similarly to how Bakugou had done. Kirishima stepped up and nudged his cockhead against Sero's, the two unphased by it.

"I-I can't take both-"

"So take turns." Bakugou said bluntly. You glanced up at Sero and Kirishima, worryingly trying to take Kirishima's cock into your mouth first. You made it just barely past the tip of his fat cock, before you realized your attempt was futile. You brought a hand up to help, stroking the base of his cock while your mouth worked past the tip. Your free hand returned to jerk Sero off, your ego racing as you heard his own grunts of pleasure.

"She's a quick learner." Kirishima grins, his hand resting on your head as he guides you gently to take more of his cock into your mouth. Kirishima is saddened when you stop and switch to try and do the same for Sero.

Halfway through the transition, Kaminari's tongue prods through your entrance, making you stop. Your shoulders tense up and you freeze, quickly hunching over, grinding your cunt against Kaminari's mouth, the tips of his nose brushing against your clit.

"Fuck!" You cry, feeling yourself lose control. Your mind turns white for a moment, and all the pleasure begins to hurt as you want to leap off of Kaminari's tongue. But his strong arms wrapped around your thighs holding you in place stop you from doing so.

"It-it hurts! Please." You pant, your lips parted as you mewl against his face.

"He fucking did it. He made her cum." Sero groaned. Your head shot up, staring at the ravenette.

"T-that was-"

"A female orgasm? Yeah. Felt weird and tingly, and when he kept going it hurt. Fun huh." Sero grins.

"Dude, let her explain it." Kirishima sighs.

"It felt good. Really good. I've never felt anything like that before." You go to continue your job of blowing Sero, but he stops you.

"Let's take this to Bakugou's room." Sero smirks.

You're on your feet in a matter of seconds until the boys toss you onto Bakugou's cozy bed, the one you've crashed on multiple times while he was away or while he slept on the couch.

This time, Sero was quick to take control of the situation, ushering you to the edge of the bed where your head hung off. Sero smiled down at you, tapping his cock against your lips again as you eventually opened it for him. Before sliding it in, Sero leaned down and spit into your mouth, cutting any possible complaints off by shoving his cock down your throat.

"Fuck." Sero dragged out, watching as Kirishima took the opportunity to plant himself between your thighs, his tongue diving into your cunt. Your moans were silenced by Sero's cock as he fucked your throat raw. Kaminari was the only one who hadn't been inside your throat. But he was doing just fine, teasing himself with his hand, forcing himself to stop every time he felt like cumming at the sight of you being used by his friends.

"She tastes so good. Want more." Kirishima muttered against your cunt, using one hand to spread you open as his tongue wrecked your clit, his other hand dipped a single finger inside your tight entrance.

"She's so fucking tight." Kirishima commented, rubbing his middle finger along your folds, his knuckle just barely grazing the fleshy walls of your hole.

"I bet." Bakugou muttered.

"Can I fuck her thighs?" Kaminari asked, eyes bright with excitement. It was something he'd dreamt about doing. Feeling your plush thighs squeeze his cock, all while gripping handfuls of your tits, cumming on your tummy. It was a thought he could get off to over and over again.

"Shit. Gonna cum!" Sero groaned, sliding his cock past your lips once more, his cock twitching as he shot his hot load down your throat.

The next few seconds were fuzzy. Sero pulled out and shot up, cum leaking from past your lips. You couldn't swallow it. Shamefully spitting up, feeling horrible, it dropped onto your stomach and began to leak and make a mess.

"Awe, poor thing. Never had anyone cum in your pretty mouth before huh?" Sero patted your head, tilting it back so you could look up at him. Your lips were glossy and glistening with spit and cum, but your eyes were watery.

"Sorry! I-"

"Don't apologize. I should've just cum all over this pretty face instead." He smirked, leaning down, pressing a rough kiss to your lips. Kirishima decides to add another finger, and you're gone, moaning into Sero's mouth, hands gripping the sheets with enough force to turn your knuckles white.

Your thighs clamp over Kirishima's ears, and you find yourself grinding against his tongue and fingers, back arching off of the mattress. Bakugou just stands in awe, whipping out his phone to record the whole scene.

"Alright let Kaminari have his fuckin' turn." Bakugou groans, tugging Kirishima away, watching how your legs twitch as you cum for the second time. You're so sensitive and you don't know why. For the first time, after Sero pulls away, you see Kaminari's cock.

It's a little larger than average. It's pretty and slightly fatter at the head than at the base, and much like Sero's, as a pretty curve in it. Kaminari is eager to sandwich his cock between your thighs, watching how he smiles as he leans down to paw at your tits.

Just as he slides through your thighs, you feel the friction of his cock glide against your cunt, and suddenly you're awakened to yet another new feeling. Your back falls flat against the mattress again, your eyes floating back up to Sero who hovers over you. You go to reach for his cock but he shakes his head and yanks Kirishima over to his spot.

"Be a good girl for Kirishima, he likes to fuck pretty little mouths like yours." Sero grins evilly. You stare at the monster cock above your lips and you hesitate. How does he fucking live with a cock like this? Your cunt throbs just looking at it. You can imagine it buried in your cunt, your legs shaking as you cum over and over again on it.

Kaminari panted as moaned as his cock fucked your thighs, his hands still kneading your tits as Kirishima forced his cock down your throat, this time much slower than Bakugou or Sero had done. Your jaw ached in a much more intense pain. But you squeezed your eyes shut, ignoring it.

"That's it, take my fucking cock down your throat like the stupid little fucktoy you are." Kirishima degraded you. You let your hand travel down between your legs, forcing it to your cunt while not disrupting Kaminari's pleasure.

"Aw look, she wants to cum again." Kaminari quickly snatches your frisky hand back up, slowing his ministrations and slowing the friction of his cock grinding against your cunt.

Kaminari and the rest of the men hear your failed attempt at a whine as you struggle with Kirishima's cock in your mouth. Kaminari's hips move slowly and smoothly, humping your thighs like a needy pup.

Pining your hands to the mattress as he grinds his cock between your thighs, Kaminari lets out a huff before pulling himself away from you.

Kaminari groans and slinks over to Bakugou, whispering something in his ear which only elicits a smirk on his lips. Bakugou passes the word onto Sero who passes it onto Kirishima like a game of telephone.

Suddenly Kirishima's drawing his cock from your mouth and Bakugou's tugging you up.

"Get on your knees." Bakugou instructs, forcing your face down into the mattress, hiking your ass up into the air. Bakugou's palm comes down against your ass, the sound echoing in the full room. You whine into the sheets as he does it again, this time letting his hands grip your cheeks, spreading you apart.

"God, you're fucking dripping." Bakugou's not worried about the mess you've made smearing Sero's cum over his sheets, he'll have to wash them after what's going to happen.

Bakugou leans down into his mattress, tasting you for the first time. You clench the sheets between your hands, mewling in pleasure as his tongue flicks across your clit and scoops up your juices, most of it dribbling down his chin. He's eating you out like he'd been starved. You're cumming in a matter of seconds as he continues.

"'s too much! Please!" You cry out, your cunt aching in overstimulation. Kaminari had denied you once, and it didn't take much for the need to cum to overtake you.

"Gonna have to fuckin' punish you for that. Did I say you could cum, bitch?" Bakugou pulls away, spanking you once more.

"N-no!" You cry.

"'m sorry!" You apologize, hoping your efforts would spare you humiliation. But oh how wrong you were.

A searing pain rips through you as Bakugou's cock pushes past your entrance. Your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth hangs open, a small cry ripping through your throat.

"It hurts!" You cry. Suddenly, the searing pain stops. Bakugou has pulled out, sighing as he moves onto the bed, waving for the guys to join.

Bakugou guides you down onto his cock, however, this time it's more like sitting on his lap. He's propped against his headboard, and you ease down as best as you can. It hurts, but Kirishima and Sero coddle you, kissing on your neck and chest, leaving Kaminari to suck on your nipples, flicking his tongue across your the hardened buds.

Bakugou bottoms out inside of you and all you can feel is the stretch. It hurts, more than anything you've ever felt. It's overwhelming and you can't think at all. Bakugou doesn't move. He rests inside you until you give a weary moan.

"Better?" He asks softly.

"Y-yeah." Your arms sling over the shoulders of the redhead and ravenette attacking your shoulders and neck with kisses and bites.

Bakugou's hands rest on your hips and help you up and down as you begin to bounce on his cock, the tip nudging against a spongey spot inside you, forcing moans to spew from you like a shook-up soda.

"Her moans are so fuckin' dirty." Kirishima speaks against your skin, sinking a hand down to your cunt, his fingers beginning to work at your clit, making you spew even lewder sounds as your moans turn to mewls and cries of pleasure.

"Who knew she could moan like that?" Kaminari laughed, palming at your breasts. You feel embarrassed, letting these men rip you to shreds while trying to learn.

It then dawns on you how you'd ended up in this predicament in the first place. You came here willing to learn, hoping to bring back something to help Izuku, but you'd completely blanked. You couldn't really remember anything they'd taught you, or if they'd taught you anything at all. Once you sucked Bakugou's cock, it'd all happened so fast.

Sitting on Denki's face, stuffing your face full of Kirishima and Sero's cock, cumming on Bakugou's tongue while being face down on his bed. It was all a strange feeling.

And now as your mind began to turn blank, vision clouding from pleasure, you realized you were fixing to cum again, this time from Bakugou's cock. All your pain had melted away-though a dull ache still remained in your abdomen, and turned to pleasure. You were cumming.

You. Were cumming.

Bakugou had taken your virginity.

And Bakugou had come to the same conclusion. As your cunt squeezed and pulsed against his aching cock, so desperately wanting to spill his load inside you and see you plump with his kid, claiming you for his own, stealing you away from that stupid fucking nerd you were with, he realized he had been the one in the end to claim you, and your virginity.

It was a sick and twisted sense of pride, to really think he had any say-so over your body. But there was something so devilishly hot to say that he'd been your first.

"Bakugou!" You cried out, your nails digging into the skin of Kirishima and Sero. Bakugou's cock continued to thrust into you.

"Yeah take my fuckin' cock. Take it you fuckin' whore. Gonna fuck you until you're braindead." Bakugou muttered, reaching a hand up to grip your throat, forcing your back against his chest.

"I wanna see you full of Kirishima's cock. Think you could take it? He'd rip you apart." Bakugou grinned, setting his friend up next. You shook your head against his hand on your throat.

"It's too big!" You cried, hoping that he'd listen to you. But he didn't. Instead, you found yourself back on the mattress, this time on your hands and knees. Weakly you kept yourself upright as Kirishima positioned at your entrance,

"Gonna use you like the little cocksleeve you are." Kirishima chuckles, watching as you squirm as the tip grazes your tight hole. Your cunt is dripping, every little touch seems to make you whine, and you can't tell if you've peed yourself or if you're just that wet. You think the former would be less embarrassing, but you decide to just stop thinking about it, and instead, you thank your body for all the natural lubrication it's making for Kirishima's cock.

Kaminari takes your mouth, sliding his cock inside and finally getting to feel what everyone else had. You can't speak, you can barely make any sounds with how raw they've fucked your throat. And you're painfully aware that they hadn't even bothered to slap on a condom. Not that you'd minded, they'd shown you time and time again that they were clean, and you were happy they'd taken the steps to have safe sex with any partner they had.

Kirishima's fingers leave bruises on your hips, gripping you with force. He sheathes himself inside you and you swear you feel yourself ripping in half.

It's so much, all at one time.

"Holy shit she fucking took you all." Bakugou says shocked, almost as if that was something to be proud of.

"He sent a chick to the ER. That phone call was awful." Sero teases the redhead for one of his mishaps.

"I didn't purposely hurt her! I was just trying to have fun, didn't think my cock was capable of tearing her fuckin' vagina." Kirishima feels a bit awkward talking about a terrible sex story while he's plowing into you, especially since you're too cockdrunk to even realize what's happening.

"Would you two shut up?" Kaminari's grabbing a fistful of your hair as he tilts your head back, sliding his cock down your throat, smiling down at you.

"You're doing such a good job. So fuckin' cute swallowing my cock like that." Kaminari praises. His praises make you feel warm and fuzzy, and you think for a moment, this is what it's like to be loved. But then images of Deku cross your mind. And your gaze drops, and you feel ashamed. You feel dirty.

You repeat to yourself that this is just a learning experience and nothing more. You'd never do this because you weren't satisfied in your relationship. No. You were doing this for Deku. You wanted to show him you knew what you were doing. You wanted to show him he could fuck your throat and make you cum with his tongue.

Kirishima grunted, his cock stretching even further, reminding you of the pain Bakugou had put you through the first time he'd entered you. It burned, but it became tolerable after a while.

"Shit, she's so fuckin' tight. Wanna cum inside." Kirishima groans. Your ears perk up at his words. You want to tell him no, but you can't. You don't. He pulls out before he gets the chance to and you're relieved.

"Sero, your turn." Kirishima trades places with Sero who was stroking his cock watching you get dicked down on both ends. Sero's cock takes you down an undiscovered path.

It seems every time he slides into you, his cock nudges against that spot inside you, making you cry in pleasure as Kaminari swaps places with Bakugou, his cock rammed down your throat once more.

Things become blurry, and all you remember is cumming again and again. When Sero nears his climax, he swaps places with Kaminari and Kirishima takes his chance to fuck your throat.

Kaminari's pace is different from Kirishima, Sero, and Bakugou's. He has no restraint. He fucks you fast, and hard, sending your body forward with each heavy thrust. He might be a bit smaller compared to the males, but he surely makes up for it.

"Out of everyone here, Kaminari has the most experience." Sero chimes in, patting his shoulder while he huffs, pounding into you until you're cumming around his cock, your milky white juices leaking out everywhere.

"She's making such a mess. How pitiful. So how fucked out are you, gorgeous?" Sero asks, watching as Kirishima pulls his cock out from your mouth, drool and saliva dripping past your lips as you choke out a moan.

"Feels-s so good." You babble, your head hangs on your shoulder as you bury it into the mattress, moaning as Kaminari fucks you into yet another orgasm. His stamina is incredible considering you thought he was still new to sex. Sorry Kami.

"She's fuckin' out of it jesus christ." Bakugou mumbles, pulling Kaminari out from between your cunt. Bakugou flips you onto your back and stares at you in amazement. Your legs are shaking and you're still making noise, whining about how you want more and how empty you feel.

"Please, fill me up." You whine, staring at the boys.

"With a face like that, how could we resist?" Kirishima grins, slapping Sero on the ass. Sero rolls his eyes and joins you on the bed.

"Think you can take two at once gorgeous?" Sero coos, laying down beside you, ushering you to lay on top of him. Your mouth drops open as you lower yourself onto him and lay back, watching as Bakugou saunters around to the front. He grins as he lines his cock up at your entrance, just barely pushing his tip inside.

"Kirishima stretched her out good for us to use her like the little whore she is. God, she's so fucking good at this I almost don't wanna give her back." Sero whines against your back, kissing your bare skin as Kaminari watches in amazement as Bakugou sinks his cockhead inside your already full cunt.

"So full. Want your cocks inside me." You manage to blurt out as Bakugou grips your thighs, shoving his cock into your stuffed pussy. It wouldn't fit all the way, but it threw you over the edge.

"Maybe she needs that filthy mouth of hers full of cock again." Kirishima's hand strokes his cock, eyeing Kaminari. Kaminari eagerly hops onto the bed, his knees hitting against Sero's arm as he taps his cock on your lips.

"Come on angel, wrap those pretty lips around my dick." Kaminari smiles, watching as your mouth lolled open. Sero's arms wrapped around your tummy, holding you against him as he fucked up into you, his cock rubbing against Bakugou's inside of you, both cocks rubbing against your walls, making you feel insanely good.

Kirishima was not going to let this moment go to waste. Snatching Bakugou's phone, he began to record, calling you a slut for them.

"Look at this cockdrunk whore. Stuffed full of three fuckin' cocks." Kirishima laughed, holding the phone near your pussy, making sure to record how Bakugou and Sero abused your cunt.

"What would Deku do if he got this nasty little clip huh? Bet he'd call you a slut. Watching his friends fuck your little virgin cunt until you're braindead." Kirishima grinned as he moved and set the phone up to continue recording for the rest of the session.

"Wanna fuckin' fill you up." Bakugou grunted.

"Teach that nerd a fuckin' lesson about how to fuck a woman." He continued.

"She's making such a mess, look at that pretty pussy. So sloppy." Kaminari moaned as your tongue swirled around the head of his cock, trying your best to take him into your mouth. The angle was a bit awkward but you managed, eventually pulling him into your mouth.

"God let's hurry this up, I can't take much more of her cunt squeezing me." Sero huffed into your back. He was going to cum again if he kept going. He wanted to fill you up like everyone else did, but he wanted to see his cum all over your pretty face.

Bakugou pulled out first leaving Sero alone inside you. You let out a strangled moan as Bakugou tapped his cock against your sensitive clit, your cries no longer silenced by Kaminari's cock since he too had pulled his cock from your mouth.

"Get down on the floor, on your knees." Bakugou instructed. Hazily you lifted yourself from Sero's cock, slightly amused by the moan he let out as he slid out of you. You stumbled onto the floor, sitting patiently on your knees as they gathered around you, this time smushing themselves to all have a view of you in the front.

"Can't wait to see you covered in cum." Kaminari spoiled the surprise, his hand jerking his cock. You stared up at Bakugou. Leaning in you licked the tip of his cock, watching as his eyes rolled back. You took turns swapping between the males until they were all helping you out, stroking their cocks at fast paces until Bakugou came.

Hot ropes of cum stuck to your face and chest as Kaminari came second, Sero third, and Kirishima fourth. It dribbled down your chin as you stared up at them, each of them smiling proudly at you.

"So fuckin' slutty. Look at her, so fucked out." Sero said breathily. They all rushed to grab their phones, snapping pictures of you covered in their cum. You just sat quietly, staring up at them as your chest heaved, your cunt throbbing.

"So what'd you learn?" Bakugou leans down, a handful of your hair holding your head back so he could look into your eyes.

"I-I like being stuffed full of cock." You babbled. Your cheeks were stained with his cum.

"Whose cock?" Bakugou's eyes narrowed.

"Yours." You parted your lips, still miraculously trying to catch your breath.

"Good girl." Bakugou praised. The other boys gathered around you, leaning down with towels to help clean you up.

It took about fifteen minutes to clean you up entirely, but afterward, they helped dress you and treated you to some dinner. You were nothing but smiles the entire time.

Before you left their apartment, Bakugou pulled you aside.

"Record your time with Deku so we can give you another lesson." He whispered into your ear, an evil smirk on his lips. You pulled away from him shyly, nodding.

"Thank you for teaching me." You thanked the men as you walked toward the door, an obvious limp in your step.

"Do you need a ride home angel?" Sero asks, ready to hop in his car and drive you over to your shared apartment with Deku.

"I think I'll be okay. I drove here anyway." You giggle. Sero smiles and glances at the others. Visions of your face covered in cum plague Sero's thoughts and he wants to slam you against the front door and fuck you all over again.

The same image is running through everyone's head as they stare at you as you leave, wanting you to stay. But it's too late when the door shuts and they're left alone as if nothing had happened.

"What happened doesn't leave this fuckin' apartment." Bakugou states, trudging off down to his room to put his freshly washed sheets on the bed.

When you arrive home, Deku's happy to see you. He doesn't question where you'd been, he knew you were with the boys hanging out. He smiles when you kiss him, and he's nothing but unaware of what had gone down.

He doesn't know about the cocks that had been stuffed inside your cunt, or a spot or two of dried cum that the towel might've missed that you'll clean up in the shower soon. He doesn't know about how dirty your mouth got and how it was filled with his friend's cocks only hours earlier.

He cuddles you sincerely until your hand begins to wander, palming him through his boxers.

"I'm ready." You smile sweetly, ready to put all that you had learned to the test.

✦ 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ✦

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tbhchoi · 3 years ago

Text

reese puffs

pairing: seonghwa x gn reader

genre: fluff

synopsis: you were not expecting to have to fight someone at 3am for your favorite late time snack.

word count: 1.4k

sitting up in bed while letting out a groan, you find that your clock reads 3am. you haven’t been able to get a wink of sleep all night. on top of that, you had to skip dinner due to having a study session, not returning till late in the night. the mix of hunger and absolutely no sleep, is starting not to bode well for you. for a few minutes, you have an internal debate. is it really worth it? you think to yourself, knowing you have little to no snack food in your dorm you ponder going down to the communal area which features a well stocked snack bar. the feeling of hunger and the new craving for your favorite cereal, and late time snack eventually won. dragging yourself out of bed, you rummage through your wallet, making sure to have exactly $3.12, the exact amount for one to-go bowl of reese puffs. throwing on froggy slippers, you head out the door and downstairs to retrieve the desired snack.

not having been out this late alone many times, you find out the dorm halls are rather eerie during the night. you'd probably be a little spooked if you didn't know most of the people living here. there's also a cold draft running up your spine, coming from some unknown place and you’re regretting not grabbing your matching frog robe. knowing you almost did but the fear of someone seeing you had you putting it back, not like anyone would've seen you this late anyways, right?

finally arriving at the wanted destination, you make your way to the snacks. halfway there, you stop abruptly in your tracks. noticing another body already at the area, you hide yourself behind one of the walls. peeking your head out, you observe the figure at the snack bar. after coming to the conclusion that you didn't know him, you decide to stay back until he leaves. he probably didn't want any company this late either.

the man quickly leaves, you swear he wasn't even there for more than a minute. and you know for certain that you didn't see him pay, but it's a little after 3am and you really don't care all that much. that is, of course, until you walk up to the snack bar and see all of the reese puffs gone. being here this morning, you knew they were almost out, but you figured they'd still have a few or even just one. quickly turning your head, you can still see the man that just left. focusing on him as much as you can, you see two, the last two may you add, cups of the snack you walked all the way down here for. all of a sudden him not paying became a criminal offense.

"hey!" you shout down the hallway to the unknown man. he jumps while turning around, not noticing you before due to you being hidden.

"um, yes?" he questions, unsure as to why you're shouting at him at almost 3:30am. little did he know he had a big storm coming.

"how dare you?"

"excuse me?"

"i saw you take, or should i say steal, the last two snack cups of reese puffs," accusing him.

you can tell he finally caught on by the look he gives you. "i have no idea what you're talking about," he says smugly. and if you could, you'd slap that grin right off his face because the suns almost out, you've gotten no sleep, and nothing is coming between you and your food.

"you're literally holding both of them!"

he looks down at his hands, forgetting that he was holding them out in the open. he draws them into his chest protectively.

"well they're mine, i got them first," is all he says.

you give him a glare, "you didn't even pay for them."

"and?"

you let out an exaggerated sigh before continuing, "listen here mystery man," starting to get closer to him, "it's going on 3:30am, i haven't slept at all and i'm starving. i forced myself out of bed and even brought the exact amount of money for what i wanted, which are those reese puffs"

"well good luck getting them," is the last of what he says before turning around and heading back where he came from.

"do you really need both of them?" you ask, sadly.

he doesn't stop walking, but his steps falter as if he was about to turn back around. giving up, you decide to head back to the snack area to look for something else that's within your price range. that price range being the same three dollars you came here with. this task ends up being harder than you thought it'd be. knowing a simple granola bar wouldn't curb your appetite, but anything bigger seems to cost a little too much in your opinion. damn colleges, you think, rolling your eyes, capitalizing on students hunger.

after a few more minutes, you're about to give up as you hear another body enter the room. looking up, you notice the same man from before. he's holding the same two cups, but this time they're both open, filled with milk and a spoons dipped in them. timidly, he walks up to you.

"here," he says softly. you stare up at him with your eyes so big he probably thinks they're about to fall out of your sockets.

"are you being serious?" you ask skeptically.

he nods, handing you the bowl and walking off to the lounge area to sit and eat his own.

staring at the snack in your hands and then to him, you make a quick decision before walking over to him, "do you mind if i sit with you?" you ask.

"go ahead."

you both sit and eat in silence for a short while. sneaking glances at each other. you never realized how handsome he was, but in your defense you had more pressing issues to deal with instead of his beauty. finally he breaks the silence.

"seonghwa," he says. you stare at him with a confused look on your face.

"that's my name," he explains.

"y/n," smiling at him. a tiny bit of guilt strikes you all of a sudden.

"i'm, um, sorry by the way," you apologize awkwardly, "i was a little harsh over something as small as cereal."

he lets out a small chuckle, "no worries, i totally get it. no one can come between me and my food either."

"i like your slippers by the way," he says with a grin on his face and you swear your face has never gotten red so fast.

he laughs at your reaction before jumping into another topic. the conversation flowed smoothly from there. maybe even a little too smoothly for your liking. you've never met him before, but you two were talking as if you've been best friends since childhood. after the apologies, there was never another beat of awkwardness. you also don't realize how slowly you both start eating your cereal, not wanting to cut this time short so soon. after a few conversations, you think you may have judged him too quickly from his smug persona from earlier. the man in front of you being nothing of the sort. he was probably just a hungry, sleep deprived college student like you at the end of the day.

before you know it, you can see the sun rising from the windows in the room. this is what sparks the thought that maybe you should head back and try to get a few hours of rest.

him agreeing has you both standing up, bidding your goodbyes. both letting out quick apologies again for earlier before you turn on your heels to leave.

"y/n?" he calls out to you, making you turn back towards him.

"yeah?"

"i'm not sure if this is too soon or anything, but could i have your number by chance?" he asks, "i know we got off on the wrong foot and everything."

without missing a beat, you pull out your phone to have him put his number, him doing the same for you. after the short exchange, you say your goodbyes for real this time.

heading back to your room, with a full stomach this time, you crash on your bed, falling into a short but deep slumber. when you wake up, one notification stands out to you. it's seonghwa asking the next time you're free. feeling heat rise to your face, you quickly type out a reply, excited to see what arises from this new friendship.

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