#and house doesn't understand why

[holdmymetaphor]

okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about

theres clearly a few dynamics here

-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him

-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid

-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.

-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)

-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)

-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority

- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?

-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)

its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)

and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)

lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.

that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.

this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.

in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general

its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.

[dr-robert-chase-apologist]

[heich0e]

au in which touya ends up having to watch natsuo put his hands all over you because you took something offered to you at a sketchy warehouse party that has you panting and whimpering and burning up and his own hot hands can't provide you any comfort but his little brother's cool-quirked touch can

[mamawasatesttube]

thinking abt kon getting hurt/upset about something big and clark bundling him up in his cape... ouuhhhhh souperfam save me...

[cometnoodle]

thought itd be fun to put edelgard in (vaguely) historical outfits from 1180s-ish, byzantine-ish and the holy roman emperors' coronation regalia lol

[brionysea]

if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest

[hapigairu]

Some Cyril appreciation featuring his mom:

[volvolts]

(Here's a smart idea: an ask thread for discussion lol)

Hey Volts! I'm Natalia. She/Her. So what's YOUR interpretation of the Wittelore? For canon, I prefer a more balanced story where the brothers' tragedy hinged on BOTH of their bad decisions. Made alone, under the influence of major assumptions about what the other thought or wanted. (Very Sondheim-esque, à la Into the Woods.) Drives me nuts thinking of all the ways they could have feasibly missed actually communicating by Just That Much, yk?

Im so sorry this might be a long one because context needed

I headcanon that philip was born “cursed.” their mother had an affair with another man and has intense guilt over it. When she birthed philip, she went through an intense postpartum depression episode. Philip had bright blue eyes unlike her own brown or her husband’s dark blue, and as he grew older, he was an odd kid. He was left handed, had an interest in the macabre, and was just all around strange. The brothers’ parents were convinced her depression and philip being born different was punishment for her infidelity. Things get messy and long story short caleb and philip are orphans now. Philip was 7 and caleb was 13. 

I like the idea caleb and philip originally having similar values. They had a strong us against the world mentality, and wanted to be seen as heroes. I do want to preface this by saying that i like the idea of caleb being morally gray but i don’t think he would ever reach the levels of villainy that philip eventually displays. 

Philip just knew that he had to hide parts of himself if they wanted to live a “normal” life. Being “cursed” is all he knows and he believes that if they can become heroes and save their town of witches that means he can somehow stop being “cursed” since when they participated in the hunts, the town treated them better. This structure is all he knows and he doesn’t think there’s a way out of it, just a way to get them what they want.

Caleb is older and has a better grasp of how bad the world is and just wants to make sure he and his brother will be okay. I feel like he loves philip but i also feel like he has to be one of philip’s earliest enforcers of “being normal” he makes philip use only his right hand, tries to stifle his more out there interests, and forces philip to hang out with the other kids and gets upset when philip doesn’t want to/struggles making friends. Honestly im a big believer that he didn’t even believe in witches but still participated anyway because it gave them a better reputation and that it put the target away from them. I feel like maybe for a while he reveled in the attention. maybe an event where he sees how quickly the town turns on another would lead him to rethink this and so when he meets evelyn, he’s more willing to hear her out. This also gives him a realization that they don’t need to stay in gravesfield and can just leave it all behind. 

I feel like the brother’s biggest problem is that they Do Not Talk as they get older. Philip just gets upset and shuts down and caleb gets tired having to walk eggshells around him when he wants to talk about important stuff. Something would happen, they fight (the biggest arguments are usually philip is mad that caleb always tells him what he ought to be doing while caleb is mad that philip doesn’t seem to be trying hard enough), they blow off steam (usually caleb goes to the river, philip stays in his room), then in a couple hours, they pretend the fight never happened. Its also why caleb is reluctant to introduce evelyn to philip. I feel like one too many of these arguments and the resentment that comes with it makes caleb do his first selfish act of leaving his brother behind while he follows evelyn to the demon realm. He didn’t expect Philip to follow him and the look of shock on philip’s face before the portal closes still haunts him. He spends years rationalizing it to himself. Philip wanted to stay so he never would have followed him anyway. Maybe philip will eventually thrive in gravesfield. If he stayed, caleb knew deep in his bones he would live an unhappy and unfulfilling life and no matter how much he loves his brother he cannot give up his own happiness for him forever. (if we follow that caleb helped make the portal key, we can even argue that he might’ve avoided ever going back because he was ashamed to see philip again) Every night he prays to the titan that philip will be fine without him, that he’ll move on. Oh how wrong he was

as for philip’s time in gravesfield before going to the demon realm, i actually plan to write it for my too late au! in general i feel like the wittebane backstory would have to be It Gets Worse through the selfishness and lack of communication between them and by the time they could talk again, the resentment is too strong for them to reach a middle ground

[lilithofpenandbook]

au where when a Death Eater is killed, they can actually not die, on one condition:

Their heart must be pure.

This doesn't mean they never ever did anything wrong. That's impossible if you're human. No, this means that whatever they've done, it's for a selfless reason. That whatever bad they've done for selfish reasons, they've fully regretted, repented, and set out for redemption. That in their heart of hearts, they are no true Death Eater, because true Death Eater have no compassion, or selfless love. Selfless Love is a pure thing, and if that exists in the heart, then they may survive being killed.

And there's another thing: they return to the physical state they were in before taking the Dark Mark. It's all effectively "wiped clean", as it were. Of course, the actions remain, as do the mental scars, but the physical body is now back to when it was still pure of this evil as a little nod to the purity of their heart.

During the second war, then, there are a few Death Eaters who do not die. But only the fewest:

The most famous example? Severus Snape, who is all but a mere child, barely touching adulthood. Who's small and underweight, whose body is still riddled with scars from the Good Guys. Who's so young it's frightening to think he became a death eater at this age because there's something so broken and fragile about him. How did he manage to survive through that?

And then... And then there's Bellatrix. Bellatrix Black.

Who... Who's a literal child.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

[kakusu-shipping]

Thoughts on/during Mochi Mayhem? I'm curious. Especially towards the... memetic dance scene(s).

I LOVED IT!!!!

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet really put me in the "I wanna be a kid doing stupid dumb goofy things with my friends" vibes and Mochi Mayhem really delivered! everyone coming over to the player's house and hanging out at the start and the whole finding the remote mini quest at the community center really got to me. We're just a couple of kids doing kid things!!

Also the fact that Arven says Clicker like an old man means so much to me. We really are siblings.

SPEAKING OF ARVEN

He knocked it out of the PARK during Mochi Mayhem being just??? So funny??? Like, he's so pushy about being the player's one and only Best Friend

And he's so agro at Kieran over it to the point of ending the epilogue apologizing for it... But Kieran didn't even notice because he's so use to his sister being agro at him like that???

Also the fact that he has just enough control while mind controlled by Pecharunt to be embarrassed by the stupid dance dskgjdfjgjdfh Hysterical

There's a lot of other really silly moments that got to me very personally, like how much everyone calls out Nemona for being entirely too much, or just the implication that the three of them were hanging out without me, implying they've all become friends as well really gets to me

I don't like the paid DLC direction Nintendo is going in, but this is the best Pokemon Game post DS Era in my opinion, even if with the DLC it's more than double the price of a DS era Pokemon game with about the same amount of content...

But yeah! I really liked the Epilogue! I had a great time, I loved seeing everyone getting to have a fun time and being silly, I ADORE Pecharunt to no end, and am super happy to have Kieran back in the club room finally!

[lilacerull0]

the initial appeal of lila to me was how in her childhood days, she was the brightest student, but managed to do it in the most unconventional way possible, a way that so closely mirrored my academic experience and that i was never able to find a description of until now. the prototype of the good at school kid is always somehow related to wanting to prove one's self to someone or living up to the expectations, be it your own or somebody else's, there is a level of obedience involved and a desire to be liked (sometimes hidden, sometimes quite outwardly) and it almost always ends in gifted kid burnout and being surrounded by this sort of portrayal has always felt kind of isolating to me who did and continues to get top marks, but fails to bow their head. as a child, lila is the best student in her school, but not because she has to be. it is simply the consequence of who she is, but her particular brand of intelligent fails to meet the parameters of how students are supposed to behave. and okay yeah, this is portrayed in fiction, but that kind of student usually doesn't get top marks in spite of being the smartest person in the room. lila does. because she is able to translate the awfully restricted, written according to some unwritten step by step guidebook, material (that is supposed to offer information, but unable free thinking or thinking at all) and give it her own spin that results in teachers being obligated to grade her accordingly because she understands what's being taught, but also resent her because her understanding of it is too out there to be acceptable. she takes the material out of context (the context being school) and tries to understand it for what it is simply because it interests her. it's the sentences that have been following me for as long as i can remember "you're incredible bright, but you wander off" or "your knowledge lacks structure" or "you're incredibly bright, but your way of thinking is incompatible with the world's mechanisms". (something that has been said about me in kindergarten because that's an okay thing to do to a child apparently) and i have mentioned this in relation to lila before, but i think she is able to keep this attitude alive because it isn't an attitude at all, it's a way of being. she isn't a rebel by choice, she's a rebel almost biologically. (which is an advantage, but the world isn't too into people who think, no restrictions attached) it's almost like her main trait is having too much individuality which was always how i felt about myself and what causes people to characterize you as unfeeling. i love her forever <3

[bellatrixdulac]

Like I'm sorry I was under the impression that all the Velaryon kids had dragons because they were either Rhaenys' children or Rhaenyra's children? And of course, the girls even have the surname, and their mom Laena was half Targ herself. All at least partly Targaryen. Didn't they make a point to say the Velaryons were confined to the seas while the Targaryens were Dragon riders? I feel like we're losing the plot a bit with this family.

[danieyells]

Revisiting more non-ghoul anomalous persons on campus(although I do think there'd be something to Moby being the only one. . . .)

I remember posting about a Gorgon and I think maybe she would do well as like. A Darkwick General nurse. Because DG is an inpatient facility, they don't do outpatient work. So if she, as somebody who is able to curse people(or, well, it really depends on how much of one's body has turned to stone if it's an illness or a curse,) were to take an interest in long term curse care, I think that would make sense right?

And then I thought of another OC. . .a minotaur who teaches(or is currently substituting for the person who normally teaches) Enigmatology. . .obviously she specializes in anomalous mazes and escape rooms that use anomalies and the like.

I just. Want to explore the idea of anomalous peoples being integrated into society or into the Institute and its staff. Because while I'm sure Moby is a rare case, I'd like to think there are at least a handful of others. The Anomalous Investigation Institute is everywhere in the world after all.

I imagine none of them are particularly well regarded, especially by the general students. Understandably this makes them keep to themselves more to avoid abuse(and avoid causing a scene or inconveniencing others or risking things being turned around on them) which tends to reflect poorly on them because people don't see or understand what they're going through or think that if there was a problem they'd get help from Darkwick or the Institute(of course this is discouraged--don't wanna ruin the lives of students who have so much ahead of them or who will contribute to the world and Institute at large! Unlike them who, as anomalies, simply aren't allowed to be in public at all which makes them less valuable. . .even among the Institute in many places around the world the prejudice against anomalies being 'people' is strong)

But they're passionate about what they do! And about a future where maybe anomalous societies/peoples can at least be somewhat apart of the world--even if they have to be hidden away they could at least be part of the Institute and make things better for anomalies and people and maybe someday there could be a world where they all live in harmony, as one. Maybe they don't all believe that but doing something for everybody's lives is good right?

I also like to think there's a school-like facility for young anomalous persons taken in by the Institute to be raised/trained/taught to be contributing members of human society [in the background because they obviously can't just be out there]. And maybe one of them could be a Darkwick student. And this is the first time they're among humans meant to be their 'peers' and kind of among human society and it's all very nerve-wracking especially when they aren't treated well. . .but they still try and fit in and contribute and such.

I just think there's a potential for exploration there. Of person-like anomalies and how they exist within the microsociety of the Institute's network.

(also all of them are scared of Towa--because anomalies are often afraid of Towa--and Taiga--because he just looks at them and gets hungry lol.)

[tenwhiteandalusians]

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.

[senseearly]

the boyfriend shirt