#and honestly? it kind of is pissing me off

[quantum1mmortality]

The crew & using toys on their S/O in bed please with a cherry on top??

First time writing the whole crew kinda nervous 🤭🤭 I'm not writing Swansea tho I will NOT be writing nsfw of a married man

Tw/cw; Afab!reader, winners love winning in Anyas hcs (use of the term pillow princess), jorkinit jumpscare

Not proofread

Curly

I'm actually not sure if he'd be into toys

I've literally only written for Curly so I'd say I'm a Curly expert, and I just don't think he'd be into toys

He'd use a vibrator on you every now and then, but he'd just use it to tease you and make you beg for him.

He'd probably use cock rings. I am a firm believer Curly would use cock rings. Not all the time, but if he's had a really stressful day at work, he's wanting an extra hard hitting orgasm.

Omg not a toy but APHRODISIACS!!! This man would go crazy for some aphrodisiacs, whether he's taking it or you are.

Now I wanna write a wedding night one shot with Curly and aphrodisiacs thanks a lot anon 😔😔😔 I've got enough shit to write already

Anya

I don't care what any of you say this woman is a pillow princess

YOU'D be using toys on HER

She'd also be a cryer but that's not the point

She'd have a drawer dedicated to sex toys. She's trying to get into med school, she's CONSTANTLY stressed, how else is she supposed to release some of that stress? Don't judge her.

She wouldn't be into straps or dildos, she'd be into shit that vibrates. Vibrators obviously, rose toys, anything that stimulates the clit honestly

I lied she is into dildos this woman is a sucker for a RABBIT!!! Like I said, if it vibrates, she wants it.

Her favorite combo is the rose toy/vibrator + pussy licking. She cums so fast, then gets embarrassed, then begs for more. Praise her a bunch and she'll be able to go a few more rounds

BONUS CONTENT!!; she has a Christina and Princess Albertina, no further comments

Daisuke

Oh yeah, he's using toys.

He has a tongue piercing and sometimes he'll swap it out for a bar that vibrates but y'all aren't ready for that convo

He's gonna use the basic toys, nothing we haven't gone over yet. Vibrators, rose toys, cock rings, ect. He's just trying to figure out what he likes for right now, and he likes all of them

In missionary, he'd hold either a vibrator or rose up to your clit while he fucks you. Kind of uncomfortable as a position, but if it gets you off, it's worth it to him.

Not sure if this is considered a toy but he'd be interested in sounding. He's definitely had you try it on him once or twice, and he never lasts for more than a minute 😭 poor boy

He's just trying new things out. He's new to having a committed relationship, so anything you'd be into, he'd be willing to try. He'd let you peg him if you wanted, but don't ask me to write that.

My pegging days are over

Jonathan

The kinkiest cunt that ever cursed this god forsaken ship

Toys are a must have for him. On you, not him. He only likes using them on you, because it gives him a sense of power over you.

He'd be one of those assholes that would put a bluetooth vibrator in your panties and wait till you're in public to turn it on the highest setting. Like an asshole

Jizzdaddy would have a lot of toys. He'd have one of those robotic dildo setups that like.. idk does the thrusting how the fuck do I explain this????

You guys get what I mean if you've ever been on a porn site you've seen one

Anyway, he'd have one of those setups and watch it fuck you. Ass up, head down, grasping at whatever you could since HIS sadistic ass turned it up to the highest speed.

Eventually hed get pissed off and fuck you himself, claiming that you love the toy more than you love him 😔 the allegations are true but he doesn't have to know that

He'd also use plugs on you. In public, too. He doesn't care. If you humiliate yourself, that's your fault, not his.

vibrators are used during sex, nothing new. But it's the same situation as before. Claiming you love the toy more than him, so he stops using it.

Sometimes he'll just give in though and decide he doesn't care, and wants to tease you more than anything. Highest speed it can go, or the slowest. No in-between. He'll have you begging one way or another.

Chat I hate writing rough characters someone request ooc soft Joshua hcs so I can write him like I do Curly 🙏🙏🙏

A/N; Anya makes me wanna kiss girls

[glorixuspurpose]

can i request jayce talis x reader where they are kind of rivals but get roped into fake dating each other and fall inlove.

omll I love this request!!! this may not be my best work but hopefully you like it!!

Jayce Talis x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

 Your heels clicked against the floor as you subtly stormed out of the council room. It never failed to piss you off, how he got everything he wanted, just like that. You climbed your way out of the Undercity, working double time just to get where you were, yet Jayce got on the council at the snap of a finger. You were almost at the end of the hallway, about to turn, when a voice called your name against the silent air–Jayce. You sighed as you turned around, crossing your arms over your chest. 

 “What’s next? You want my seat too?” You deadpanned. You knew you were being a bit unfair, but life isn’t fair. You knew firsthand. 

“It’s not like that.” Jayce sighed, before continuing. “I’ve heard the council has galas.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yes, and?” 

“You should be my date.”

“Absolutely not–”

“Just hear me out! It doesn’t have to be real or anything, just to make both of us look good.” 

 “And how does this make me look good?” You asked.

“How does it not? You and the golden boy, seemingly in love?”

“Don’t get too full of yourself.” You muttered, before turning to keep walking. 

Jayce grabbed your wrist, turning you back to him. “Wait. Just…hear me out. Not to be rude, but you’re not exactly the most…well loved council member.”

“So?” You yanked your wrist away. “I don’t need to be.”

 “Maybe not, but no one takes you seriously.”

“...People take me seriously.” You crossed your arms again, averting your gaze. As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. 

“Okay, well…maybe they don’t, but the council does. And besides, I don’t need a man to prove how likable and serious I am. I can do that on my own.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Jayce quipped as you began to walk away again. 

But then, once again, you stopped in your tracks, turning around again to Jayce standing in the same spot. He knew you’d come around. You pushed the thought of your head.

 “You know what? Fine. Prove it to me that I’ll be so much more likable if I’m with you. But there’s one rule. No kissing, or anything of the sort, don’t try any of that sappy stuff you see in the movies, got it?”

Jayce nodded. “Ma’am yes ma’am.”(or sir you do you)

You narrowed your eyes at him, scrutinizing him. “The gala starts at nine. Don’t be late.”

                                                                            ***

 You leaned against one of the golden pillars as you took a sip of your third drink of the night. You weren’t usually a drinker, but you were too stressed–and annoyed–to not have at least one. Your supposed “date” hadn’t shown up yet, or so you thought. Not that you were disappointed or anything, let alone expecting to see him. You weren’t one of those little Piltover girls who fawned over any young man younger than 35 in politics. 

You just about downed the rest of the glass as you felt a hand on your shoulder, a bouquet entering your view. It was Jayce.

 “Flowers? Really? I thought I said–”

“For the ‘act’ of course.” He winked as he handed the bouquet over to you. 

You inspected it, before placing it in a random empty vase. “I’m not a flower type of person.” You told him as you walked away, preferably towards a table.

Jayce quickly followed after her, hands behind his back. 

He pulled out a chair for you, motioning for you to sit. As you did, he sat in the chair next to you. 

 “So; those flowers are why you’re late.”

“I wasn’t late. I was searching for you.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Hmph.”

He leaned back, crossing his arms. “You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?” You grabbed another glass off of a passing waiter’s platter. 

“Where you…I don’t know, analyze me. Honestly, I have a feeling that you hate me.” 

“Where could you possibly get that idea?” You asked sarcastically, before setting down the glass. “I don’t necessarily hate you, I just don’t like you. I don’t like you because you get your ass handed to you all the time. Meanwhile, I barely have one because I’ve worked it all off.” You explained. 

 “I beg to differ with that last statement…” He trailed off as his eyes wandered over your lower half. You smacked his arm. 

“It was metaphorical.” You seethed. “Besides, you know it’s true. First you’re some student who blows up his own lab and is locked up for a while, and now you’re some councilor. If my life was this fair, I wouldn’t ever complain.” 

“First of all, that lab incident was not me.” 

“So how come you were prosecuted?”

 He looked at you for a second, before sighing. “You know what? Now I get why people don’t like you.”

“Wow, I’m not surprised.” You took another sip out of your glass. 

“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about!” Jayce almost yelled, causing a few glances to be cast their way. He sighed, lowering his voice. “You think you’re so much better than everyone else. You’re so…aloof. But you’re not aloof. You’re full of it.” 

 “Don’t act like you all of a sudden know everything about me now, Talis. You’re just as full of it as everyone else on this damn council!”

Jayce ran a hand over his face. “Look, maybe we don’t see eye to eye right now, but can we please just pretend that we can?” 

“I don’t appreciate you trying to act like such a peacekeeper, but I guess.” You agreed as you went to take another sip, before Jayce stopped you, taking the glass out of your hand. 

 “Maybe this is one of the problems.” He said, gesturing to the glass.

“Oh, shut up.” 

                                                                            ***

 After the excruciatingly long gala, Mel finally gave a closing speech, allowing everyone to leave and go home or wherever they stayed.

The walk back to each others’ quarters was mostly silent, until Jayce finally spoke up. 

“You know…I appreciate this; no matter how much you may resent me.”

“Appreciate what? Me pretending to love you?” 

“Touche, but not that. Just…being in my company. Sure you were…albeit a bit stiff, but…I still got to see more of you than what I would've just in the council room.” They took a detour, standing at a balcony instead. 

 While you stared at the moon, Jayce stared at you. “I guess I appreciate it a bit. I’ve never…been on a date before, so…”

“I find that hard to believe.” 

You turned to look at him. “Well, it’s true. Sure, it’s not a real date, but date is still in the name, right? Besides…you’re not half bad.”

Jayce chuckled. “Well, coming from you, that means a lot.” 

You smiled, turning back to the moon. You two stayed quiet for a moment longer, before Jayce started again. 

 “You know…this will probably go in one ear and out the other, but…you do know that it wasn’t my intention, getting on the council, right?” 

“I guess. But I suppose it doesn’t irk me any less. Not that it’s exactly your fault, but…you know. It’s a bit annoying when you see someone get what you worked years for at the drop of a pin.” 

“Yeah, I guess I understand.”

“Do you?” 

“Okay, maybe not. But my words still stand. Besides, even a man who’s blind could see how hard you’ve worked. Not just to get here, but in your life in general. You seem to never rest. Maybe you should.” 

 “Me? Rest? That’s foreign.” You both chuckled before you turned to face him again.

“Okay, maybe not. But it’s not frowned upon to take a break once in a while. And before you even say it, you won’t seem weak.” 

You sighed. “I guess.” 

He stared at you for a few more moments before asking, “Do you…mind if I kiss you? I know it’s against your rule, but–”

You didn’t let him say another word before leaning up to kiss him. His eyes widened in surprise before he eventually closed them and kissed back. 

 You’re not sure how long you two kissed before eventually pulling away.

“You know what, Talis? Maybe you being on the council won’t be that bad after all.” You smiled. He smiled too. 

“You think so.” 

“I know so. See you tomorrow, Golden Boy?” You asked, adjusting his collar. 

“Uh…yeah.” 

“Good.” You said, before walking away, leaving him staring at the spot you just occupied. 

[cetoddle]

lately it’s been like. i become mutuals with someone popular and unanimously loved within my general mutuals circle. i try to interact with them and be friendly. i get ignored completely. why.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

moon n ballora

[justabunchofdragons]

they were so insane for having house play "hugh laurie's cuddy's serenade" bookending "you can't always get what you want" as cuddy held her party with everyone else and their mother attending AND having her open the door only to drop her smile when it wasn't house. she really said "i DON'T want you there" and got upset when he didn't come. they drive me insane

[superloves4]

Will never forget this one person that said Tolkien made a mistake by putting Galadriel with Celeborn and that she should have ended with Celebrimbor instead, no hate to people who like this ship without being dicks about it, but because of that all I can think of this relationship now is

[edsheerankinnie]

got bored so i drew em in my style lol

[musclesandhammering]

Queer women are the main culprits of fetishising mlm relationships (both real and nonexistent ones), and I think we’re all scared to admit that.

[svampira]

normalest friend group

[camgoloud]

you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons

[supercantaloupe]

okay don giovanni review from last night. under the cut bc it's me. tldr the vocal performances were great, leporello carried the show, one of the most insane productions i've seen thus far but somehow in a new bizarre direction from normal. good snacks.

first of all i don't care how much wine you offer i think it's kind of ridiculous to charge $165 for a base ticket price for a performance that 1. isn't even in a concert hall or theater 2. is a concert performance rather than a staged performance (which was not advertised ahead of time) and 3. was not even a full production because they made the absolutely mind boggling decision to cut 100% of the recitative and replace it with Some Guy sitting on the stage narrating the plot between every 1-3 numbers

i did not pay that much gd bless. the student ticket was way cheaper.

the narration wasn't even good it was weirdly ungenerous to the women (like how do you even make elvira out be a "women, amirite" thing and also vaguely imply anna was into it in a production with zero acting? well they figured something out) and i don't think it even explained well enough what happens between each number to truly give a first time watcher a good idea of what's actually going on. not to mention that it absolutely kills any sense of momentum in the plot and makes the entire show drag like hell, because you have to wait between every single aria for either Some Guy to talk at you for three minutes straight, or wait awkwardly while people onstage walk off and people offstage walk on. it was so painfully clunky

they had a piano up there but since there was no recit it's not like she was accompanying much of anything. in practice what it ended up being used for was 1. the mandolin part for deh vieni (acceptable in the absence of a mandolin player; they were working with a limited chamber ensemble of musicians so i get it) 2. the party music at the end of act i (egregious fault imo because it absolutely kills the vibe of the scene and completely obfuscates the way the music is supposed to be adding to the tension and chaos with its different instrumental groups playing in different meters)

and 3. used to give singers their notes when the vocal line of their arias start on beat 1 measure 1, which they otherwise would have been able to get from the preceding recits (which is imo painfully amateurish for an ostensibly professional production)

all the numbers in act i were there although the narration was so bad i got jumpscared by fin ch'han dal vino because i forgot it was supposed to be there and thought we had skipped over that point in the plot. act ii had some really bizarre additional cuts made, notably they just entirely skipped over meta di voi and vedrai carino. it was like masetto and zerlina fuck off for the entirety of act ii save for, like, mille torbidi (they VERY briefly mentioned masetto getting beat up in the narration and i don't think they mentioned vedrai carino at all, they just skipped straight from deh vieni to sola sola. and also there was a painful awkward pause before deh vieni because i think the pianist forgot she was supposed to play there and the narrator jumped ahead to the next chunk of plot explanation too early). kept both dalla and tesoro (i'm fine with this ottavio was quite good though could've used a bit of ornamentation imo), kept mi tradi, kept non mi dir (more on that in a bit). no per queste which is probably a good thing not only for the show itself but also my head would have absolutely and irreversibly exploded if they had, probably

the whole thing kind of felt underrehearsed. like a quarter of the time it seemed like people didn't know what they were doing or had to be reminded where to be at that point in the show. and there were a few moments throughout where the orchestra struggled to keep up with the singers, but i really don't think they had much time to rehearse together, honestly.

and then, to my utter shock, the finale was actually really good?? like. insane compared to the rest of the show thus far. though it helps that 1. i absolutely love the harmonieband arrangements of cosa rara/i litiganti/non piu andrai, after possibly the draggiest non mi dir i've yet experienced it was like a breath of fresh air to hear that (and non mi dir was actually well performed i liked this anna but considering how much the Entire Show was dragging, the fact that they cut meta di voi and vedrai carino, AND the fact that they promised this act would be short, it felt crazy to me to keep it at that point.)

2. leporello and the don were by far the best performers of the night. so much so that i sought them out during the post show reception to tell them how great they were and enjoyed their performance. which i usually do not do, but in this like, high school recital ass production value. unbelievable relief that the final scene is dominated by the two actors in the show who most remembered that they can, and in fact Should, be acting. so much more movement and physicality and expression from those two compared to most everyone else. leporello especially, his actor apparently specializes in comedic bass roles and it shows, he was the standout all night

and 3. for the first time in the entire production they made an interesting decision regarding the physical space and staging! they had the commendatore sing from up on a balcony overlooking the audience in the foyer. the bar admittedly was set very low in the previous act and a half but the finale reminded me that i actually like this show again which is appreciated

though they then threw another curveball at me by Cutting the sextet at the end. which like didn't even piss me off at that point i was just baffled. like the don sinks down in agony and leporello sinks down whimpering in fear and the orchestra cuts off. and i'm expecting an awkward pause while they quietly get up and shuffle off so the rest of the cast can come back but nope. big orange title slate appears on the big screen behind them and the audience breaks into a roaring applause and the announcement of the wine and dessert reception. felt like i was in a fever dream

i will say the desserts were very nearly almost worth the bullshit that was the preceding show. they were so good. thank you austria for your dedication to pastry. and because i don't drink and couldn't appreciate the free wine offered i had to indulge in my own manner. spread contained chocolate oat bites (tasted as much like espresso powder as chocolate and coated in coconut, 4/10), almond sponge cake (classic, 7/10), cardamom apple bread pudding with caramel cream (not enough cardamom but otherwise very tasty and autumnal, 8.5/10) and honey cake (11/10. i don't know how they made this so good. i want more right now so much). i take both my mozart opera and my desserts very seriously.

anyway overall the production was. i would say frustrating. the singing quality was Really Good (leporello was the clear standout, probably followed by the don though i prefer my dons with a lighter voice but technically he was very good, then probably ottavio, then maybe masetto or anna. the commendatore was great but he's in it so little it's hard to compare)

i just wish they could have, like, actually done a full production. it would have been so great if they had gotten to tell the actual story and had been fully allowed to act. when there Was acting were the best moments of the show, and it's really unsurprising that most of that came from leporello, the absolute legend.

[thorinlandscaping]

WOMEN MARRYING MEN you know you can keep your maiden name right? your husband can change HIS name. you can hyphenate. hell you can come up with a third, brand new name that you both chose. YOU DONT HAVE TO TAKE HIS NAME BY DEFAULT PLEASE WOMEN!!!

[catominor]

also you know what really pisses me off (especially in the light of the youtube stuff about james somerton). there's a couple popular and really phenomenally bad videos about sexuality in greece and rome by right wing youtubers and people just. blindly believe what they say despite the fact that they use either extremely bad sources or just. make shit up/misinterpret evidence. and badmouth Actual historians like they're part of some Evil Liberal Conspiracy to get you to think that... ancient greeks and romans weren't 2023 modern style homophobic

[marsixm]

lmao nothing has killed my spirit lately like seeing ppl tweet "omg theres people that dont solve (the nyt crossword) mini in under 30 seconds? are people dumb?????? theres really genuine idiots out there??" and not even being able to finish that thing 90% of the time <333

[agir1ukn0w]

is it just me, or did simon’s weird jealousies over maddie’s relationships with other men rub anyone else the wrong way

[cinnabeat]

ooh was reading up on that disney case and someone said that the company is stalling for time to rack up lawyer costs so the plaintiff ends up dropping the case which sounds like something theyd do