starvingpenguin

[starvingpenguin]

no more gravy no more basting it is freedom we are tasting

[starvingpenguin]

The wings give an extra lift

[starvingpenguin]

hey if you're scrolling tumblr on thanksgiving you might be going though it so I just wanted to let you know that you are so incredibly loved. also you will outlive the weird family member

[starvingpenguin]

Oh my god I just remembered last night's dream. I was a concubine at an ancient Chinese emperor's court, and he decided to make all of the concubines hotdogs, but his hotdogs SUCKED it was like the tiniest sausage and a mountain of toppings, and I was the only one who didn't force myself to eat it so he sentenced me to death

[starvingpenguin]

can someone please tell me what the fuck I just saw

[starvingpenguin]

this was funnier in my head.

[starvingpenguin]

anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??

[starvingpenguin]

IM DUMPING CRUDE OIL ON THE POST BELOW THIS

[starvingpenguin]

imagine if your boyfriend was like I can smell an ant. and started tracking

[starvingpenguin]

Sometimes reading some Skylanders backstories are so funny… Like what do you mean Blast Zone swallowed 100 bombs thrown down his chimney. What do you mean Stink bomb was so surprised he farted so hard it was strong enough to blow his master away and disappear. And the thing about Free Ranger was willingly about to jump in a dangerous and evil storm it couldve gotten him killed if Master Eon didn't stop him?? Dumbass

[starvingpenguin]

Post canon Toph who doesn’t want to go back to her shitty parents so she just decides to stay in the Fire Nation and bum off Zuko’s hospitality.

Zuko’s like no, yeah, I totally get it, and just makes her one of his advisors. At first it’s just so she has a good excuse to stay but after the first meeting Toph storms out shouting about how EVERYONE was lying why would you even need to lie about what kind of tea you want??

Zuko: I mean they’re politicians…..but also who, and when, and in what way

They make a subtle Morse code system so Toph can warn him when someone is lying to him without tipping anyone off that she can sense lies.

Zuko gets a reputation for somehow being both extremely socially inept and yet somehow disgustingly perceptive?? You can’t get ANYTHING by him???

[starvingpenguin]

Absolutely losing my mind over this text I got from a client today

[starvingpenguin]

very busy. i have to pace in circles for 6 hours. you understand

[starvingpenguin]

When I was a kid first getting accustomed to the wonderful world of computers and the internet, one of my favorite things to do was download print-out coloring sheets and mangle them in MS Paint.

This one was my favorite I think. I was 11 going on 12. Also I had no idea how much a pizza cost.

Date modified: 1/29/2002 2:49PM

[starvingpenguin]

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[starvingpenguin]

[starvingpenguin]

people who for very silly reasons want to market prepared food products without preservatives in them who then discover why we started putting preservatives in prepared food products in the first place (because without a preservation method food quickly grows stale, and frequently also moldy or downright toxic) is a consistently good bit. like people really seem to think we put Evil Chemicals in food on purpose for no reason.