#and honestly reality still feels kind of weird. idk. it feels real and not at the same time.
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sometimes I don't really feel like a person or even more accurately like myself. like I'm some kind of sludge monster that had my face but it's sort of just melting into a black slime thing. it's not that I was pretending to be me or someone else that was me. but that there wasn't ever a me. this is all I am. but what I am isn't true. it isn't myself. i am someone else. that isn't a monster made of goop. and then I go and look at my past posts and go haha I was so real for that wow and it's just a bit better
#i can't look at pictures of myself tho#that doesn't help#that actually makes it so so much worse#looking at myself in the mirror has the same effect. it makes me spiral even more#but if i look at a stupid tumblr post i made a year ago i go yeah that's me so I've definitely gotta be me and not a sludge monster#I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENS#but at least i know i can do something to help#i still kind of feel weird#and honestly reality still feels kind of weird. idk. it feels real and not at the same time.#but it's not extremely frightening atm so whatever#i should stop thinking about this so i don't spiral#I'M GONNA GO READ FAN FICTION AND TRY TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW REALITY ISN'T MESHING WITH ME TODAY#tw vent
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ᰔᩚ motherhood and matrimony I ch 2 ᰔᩚ
ꨄ︎ pairing. au ceo! satoru gojo x single mom secretary fem! reader
ꨄ summary. satoru gojo, the arrogant and irresistible heir to a billion-dollar corporation and the son of your boss, the ceo... but when satoru’s father dies unexpectedly, his inheritance hinges on a stipulation: he must marry and have a child, but the child doesn't necessarily have to be his, right? together, you strike a deal: a fake marriage that promises financial stability for you and corporate control for him. as the lines between business and emotion blur, you must decide if your partnership is purely contractual or if it could evolve into something real.
ꨄ︎ warnings/tags. 18+ MDNI, nsfw, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, fake marriage, slow burn, smut, fluff, bit of angst, reader is single mom who recently broke off her engagement, satoru being a cute step dad, naoya is your crappy ex » 【note, there is physical & emotional intimidation in this chapter (from naoya not satoru), this is a form of domestic abuse, reader discretion advised】
ꨄ words: 12.5k
ꨄ a/n. firstly, wow thank you so much for all your kind words on ch 1 :") secondly, this series may be more than 3 chapters (maybe more like 4 or 5?) idk i'm still working out the pacing rn bc i really want the relationship to feel fluid and natural. this chapter ended up being much longer than i anticipated 😅 but as always, i would love to hear your thoughts and hope you enjoy ♡
ꨄ taglist: closed (ao3)
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series masterlist ꨄ︎ previous chapter ꨄ︎ next chapter →
ch 2 // under the spotlight
Becoming a mother makes you realize you can do almost anything one-handed—though honestly, sometimes you wish you had an abundance of limbs.
Especially now. Your apartment is a whirlwind of activity – scattered toys, half packed bags and the remnants of breakfast still on the table. You’re in the middle of prepping your daughter’s essentials, trying to make sure you don’t forget anything important. Her preferred snacks, extra clothes, diapers, and a few of her favorite toys all stuffed into a bag.
“Mama, mama, look!”
Haru’s innocent voice rings out like a melody amidst your morning clamor. Halting your frantic movements, you’re drawn to her face, lit up with pure joy as she holds up her beloved Pikachu plushie. The bright yellow toy bounces in her hands as she makes it dance.
Her innocence provides a brief, much-needed, calm to the storm of nerves brewing inside of you. After all, today’s the day you’re meeting with Satoru and his lawyer to finalize the marriage contract. Your marriage—weird.
It feels odd saying it, the word foreign on your tongue. Marriage is a concept you never thought you’d be rushing into, especially not like this.
Once upon a time, you thought you’d marry Naoya Zenin.
Back then, you were so in love with his charm, his confidence, and the way he seemed to have everything figured out. But reality had a way of shattering those illusions.
His charm turned to arrogance, his confidence to control. It wasn’t long before you realized he cared more about owning you than loving you, and now you’re left with nothing but heartache and a broken family.
But amidst your turmoil you found a precious gift—Haru.
Her infectious giggle is a stark contrast to the chaos within your mind—it always manages to pull you back from your whirlwind of worries.
You’ll do anything in your power to keep her smiling, even if that means marrying Satoru Gojo, the man who is guilty for an abundance of your headaches.
With a deep breath, you zip up your duffle bag and turn to Haru who is lovably babbling to Pikachu.
“Come here, sweetie,” you say, kneeling down with her small jacket in your hand.
She toddles over to you, clutching her comforting plushie, eyes wide and curious.
Easing her tiny arms into the sleeves, you gently help Haru into her jacket.
“We’re going to meet some new friends today,” you tell her softly, fastening the buttons with care. “One of them is named Mr. Gojo.”
“Mr. Gojo?” she echoes, face scrunching up in concentration.
Truth be told, you weren't planning on bringing Haru to this meeting, but you’re faced with a lack of options, especially since technically, you’re fired.
Well… temporarily.
Until Satoru rehires you, paying the nanny isn’t feasible with your already stretched finances, Utahime, your ever-reliable friend, is unavailable. Your neighbor, who sometimes steps in to help, is out of town, and your mom is… your mom – as undependable as ever.
At this point you'd rather be caught dead than call Naoya again.
Calling him yesterday, when your nanny bailed, was a moment of pure desperation, a lapse in judgment driven by the chaos of the day and the fear of getting fired. Not your proudest moment.
It’s no surprise he’ll likely use it against you—hold it over your head like a weapon. It’s a pattern you’re all too familiar with.
But today marks the beginning of a new chapter, one that you’re determined to make the best of for both you and your daughter—once this marriage is finalized, you’ll be back to earning a steady income again.
A sigh escapes your lips as you focus back on Haru, her innocent eyes look up at you expectantly.
“Yes, Mr. Gojo,” you repeat, giving her a reassuring smile as you reach down to tie her shoelaces. “We’re going on an adventure today, just you and Mommy.”
“An adventure!” Haru cheers, clapping her hands in unbridled excitement.
Just as you pull the last loop tight, a knock reverberates through the front door, startling you. It’s unexpected, you weren’t anticipating any visitors.
With a deep breath, you twist the handle and pull the door open. The sight that greets you sends a cold wave of dread crashing over you, your heart pounding in your chest.
Speak of the devil—Naoya.
He has an uncanny knack for impeccable timing, always appearing when he’s least wanted.
His presence is as imposing as ever—a smirk crowned on his lips, posture relaxed, hands in his pockets—exuding an air of ownership over everything that’s around him.
As if he owns you.
Damn it. You really can’t deal with this right now; you don’t have the time. Satoru is expecting you, and you need to get moving.
Leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe, he surveys you with that annoyingly smug expression plastered upon his face.
"Well, well, if it isn't my two favorite girls," he drawls, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
The frustration you feel from Naoya is vastly different from what you experience with Satoru. With Satoru, it's harmless—like dealing with a mischievous child. But with Naoya, every sight of him makes you want to flee, as if each encounter is a battle you barely survive. He reopens old wounds that never truly healed, leaving you raw and exposed.
Every fiber of your being screams in protest at the sight of him, but you force yourself to maintain composure—refusing to let him see the effect he has on you.
"What do you want, Naoya? I really don’t have time for this today."
Turning away from him, you begin gathering the last of Haru’s things with brisk, precise movements, making it clear you have no intention of prolonging this interaction.
He steps inside, smirk widening with satisfaction and tone laced with mock concern.
"Just thought I'd drop by and see how you're managing. Got your message. Heard you were looking for a babysitter yesterday.”
As expected—you’re really kicking yourself for calling him. His false sympathy only heightens your irritation, grating on your nerves as the condescension drips from his words like venom.
If you weren’t already leaving, you would slam the door right in his smug face.
Gritting your teeth, you attempt to keep your tone steady, for no one other than Haru.
"We're fine, Naoya. We don’t need your help."
In hopes to end this conversation quickly, you grasp Haru’s hand and attempt to brush past him. But he sidesteps, effectively forbidding your path to the door, looming like an unwanted shadow.
"Still as stubborn as ever, I see. How’s that working out for you?” he scowls as he peers through your apartment, “This place is a mess. And you don’t look like you’re dressed for work. Lost your job already?”
His words hit a nerve, you feel your cheeks flush with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"We are managing just fine. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have somewhere to be."
But he wasn’t going to let you go so easily. His expression darkens, and as you repeatedly try to step past him, he halts you yet again, blocking your way like an insurmountable wall.
"And where exactly are you going? Shouldn't you be at work today?"
"That's none of your business. I really need to go," you retort, lifting your chin assertively as you force your way past him. Your shoulder brushes against his in a deliberate act of defiance.
The moment you cast him aside, he immediately pursues after—but choosing to ignore him, you close the door behind you, turning the lock with a decisive click.
As you start leading Haru towards the elevator, you adopt a brisk pace in hopes to put as much distance between you and Naoya as possible.
But he raises an eyebrow, smirk widening as he traverses after you. You hear his footsteps echoing down the hallway of your apartment complex.
"Oh, I think it is my business. Especially when it concerns my daughter."
Oh, please.
It’s painfully ironic how he pretends to care about Haru only when it suits him.
After you served him child support papers, he had the audacity to demand a DNA test, claiming he needed ‘proof’ that Haru was his. Of course, something like that takes time for the judge to arrange.
He knew that damn well—it was just another ploy to delay the process further.
As anger bubbles up within you, a scoff escapes your lips, teetering on the edge of a bitter laugh.
"Oh, so she’s yours when it’s convenient for you. Don't pretend you care about Haru now. You’ve done nothing but make our lives difficult."
Your movements are sharp and frantic until you finally halt in front of the elevator. Just as you press the button to descend, Naoya’s presence descends over you—suffocating like a dark cloud, his face twisting into a menacing scowl.
"Maybe if you weren’t so damn stubborn, things wouldn’t be so difficult. You know, if you ever need help, all you have to do is ask," the insincerity in his voice makes your skin crawl—as his words slither into your ears, each syllable is laced with a condescending edge.
You scoff, jabbing the button over and over again with mounting urgency. Can this damn elevator come any faster?
"Help? From you? I'd rather figure things out on my own than rely on your 'help'."
He steps closer, making you feel small and cornered. It’s a familiar tactic he would use to get his way—the accustomed sense of intimidation he used to exert over you returns, chilling your spine.
"Suit yourself. Just remember, you can’t keep this up forever. Sooner or later, you’ll realize you need me again,” his voice drops to a low, threatening whisper, the underlying menace making it clear that he relishes the control he still believes he has over you.
Suddenly, you feel small tiny hands gripping tightly onto your leg. Haru’s wide eyes dart between the two of you, her innocent face reflecting a nervous unease that she can’t fully understand—but you do.
Fuck it. Enough is enough. You can't let this continue any longer—screw the elevator.
With a determined breath, you scoop Haru into your arms, feeling her trembling slightly against you. "Come on, sweetie," you say softly.
Her tiny heart beats against your chest, mirroring your own anxiety. Holding her close, you immediately head towards the stairway, your stride quickening.
But Naoya's presence lingers, his footsteps echoing ominously after you.
“Really, Naoya?”
Oh, this is it. Your patience is wearing thin—he’s like a growth you can’t get rid of.
You feel Haru’s grip tighten around your neck as she buries her face into your shoulder. You have been trying desperately not to yell, for Haru’s sake, but at this point, Naoya is overstepping your boundaries.
“Just go away. The only thing I need from you is to hurry up and finish that damn DNA test,” you shout, refusing to look back as you head towards the stairs. “There was no reason for that bullshit; you know Haru is yours. I know you’re just trying to stall our court date,” you snap, your voice trembling with frustration and anger.
Naoya’s eyes gleam with a cold amusement, and the corners of his mouth curl up into a mocking smile.
"Stalling? Hardly. You’re insane, I just want to be thorough. You should understand that, being so meticulous yourself," he sneers, tone derisively sweet.
Finally, you reach the stairway—beginning your descent, Haru clings tightly to you as Pikachu dangles precariously from each hurried step.
"This conversation is over, Naoya,” your voice echoes in the narrow space. “Stay out of our lives. I only want to see you in court."
Naoya contemplates following you, lowering himself a few steps before abruptly stopping. As his voice reverberates through the stairwell, his unsettling demand bounces off the cold concrete walls, chilling you to your core.
"For now, y/n. But remember, this isn’t over. Not by a long shot. You always come crawling back to me one way or another. You’re incapable of anything without me."
There was a time when you believed those words, but you will not fall back into that same vicious cycle.
Choosing not to respond, your resolve is sharpened with one clear goal, getting Haru and yourself out of this building as quickly as possible.
The moment you clear through the lobby door, a shaky sigh escapes your lips. This day is already starting off with a bang—hopefully it goes much better at Satoru’s.
Forcing a smile for your frightened daughter, you try to mask the tears welling up in your eyes—the tremor in your voice quaking.
“Come on honey, let’s go meet Mr. Gojo.”
Time to get this marriage finalized.
ꨄ︎
You had expectations of what Satoru’s house would be like, but even those couldn’t hold a light to the real thing—it’s a stark contrast to the modest apartment you call home.
The meticulously manicured lawn, the pristine arcadian, and the large, ornate door all showcase opulence.
It’s far more luxurious than you had imagined, making you feel distinctly out of place as you step out of your car in your worn jeans and t-shirt, hair pulled up in a lazy bun.
Wait…should you have come dressed businesslike?
But you have Haru—was this supposed to be a professional meeting? Fuck.
On top of everything else, you’re already a few minutes late. Tardiness has become a tiresome trend in your life, one that exhausts you to your very core.
Traversing the entryway, Haru grips your hand tightly as you walk through the stone pathway. Her fingers tremble slightly, perhaps from the unsettling encounter with Naoya, or perhaps from the overwhelming new environment.
Nerves simmer through you once you approach the doorway, but you resolve to mask them. You weren’t going to let Naoya ruin your day—this meeting is your chance to retake control of your life.
As you reach out and press the doorbell, a soft melodic chime resonates, echoing through the spacious foyer beyond.
Within moments, the door swings open, revealing Satoru.
You immediately feel a sense of relief as you observe him dressed surprisingly casual—a fitted blue t-shirt that accentuates his broad shoulders and lean frame, paired with dark jeans that hug his long legs. His snowy hair remains tousled in that effortlessly stylish way, framing his strikingly handsome face.
It’s impossible to advert your eyes as he greets you with that familiarly confident smile curling upon his lips, and those vivid blue eyes, enchanting you with an intriguing glint.
“Hm, late again, I see,” Satoru teases, dramatically placing a hand over his heart as if wounded with an exaggerated sigh. “I was starting to worry you wouldn’t show up. Here I was, thinking you might divorce me before we even get married—” he stops, lifting his brow as his gaze shifts to the small figure peeking out from behind your legs.
“Well, well, and who is this?”
Haru’s wide eyes are filled with curiosity and apprehension. She peeps out nervously, clutching her plushie’s worn, familiar fabric for comfort.
Satoru’s smile softens as he looks at the little girl, but a twinge of uncertainty tugs at him internally. Children were a mystery to him, their emotions and reactions unpredictable.
What should he say? How should he act?
A flicker of fear crosses his mind—what if he says the wrong thing and makes her cry?
Oh God…
The thought of dealing with a child's tears makes him feel out of his depth, a sensation he’s not accustomed to. Satoru finds himself in unfamiliar territory. He’s used to commanding rooms and negotiating high-stake deals, not interacting with shy children clutching stuffed toys.
But faking confidence has always worked in the business world, and he is determined to make a good impression now.
As you notice Haru’s uncertainty, you gently caress her head, delicately coaxing her out from behind your legs.
"It’s okay, sweetie. This is Mr. Gojo, can you say hi?"
There is an air about you—the gentle ease in your voice, the way you instinctively know how to comfort Haru. It stirs something within Satoru, something he can’t quite place.
All he knows it that now he really doesn’t want to fuck this up.
"I’m really sorry for bringing her along," you begin, tone earnest as you meet Satoru with an apologetic gaze. "I hope it’s okay. I just didn’t have anyone who could watch her today. But she’ll keep to herself during our meeting, I promise."
Satoru’s expression softens further as he looks at Haru, his uncertainty momentarily forgotten. She is so fragile, so docile. In her delicate features, he sees an uncanny resemblance to you—a small reflection of your strength and vulnerability intertwined.
“Oh, it’s no problem at all,” he reassures softly. Crouching down to her level, his toothy smile is warm and inviting. “Hi there, I’m Satoru. What’s your name?”
Haru looks up at you for reassurance, her small hand tightening around your leg. Encouraged by your nod, she turns back to Satoru and whispers tentatively—
“Haru.”
Satoru grins, captivated by the softness and delicacy of Haru's voice. Though he is uncertain how to connect with a child. His mind races—
What do kids like?
What should he say next?
While his thoughts scramble, a spark of an idea forms the moment he observes Haru clutching Pikachu.
“Nice to meet you, Haru. Do you like Pokémon?”
Haru nods, her grip on the plushie relaxing slightly. There is a subtle warmth behind the apprehension in her eyes as she holds up her Pikachu toy to show Satoru.
“Yes, Pikachu.”
“Pikachu is pretty cool,” he lets out a contemplative hum as he tries to find common ground. A faint nostalgic smile plays on his features. “But you know, Digimon is even better. Have you ever heard of Agumon?”
Haru’s eyes widen with curiosity as she shakes her head, her interest clearly piqued.
Satoru’s inner child shines through—eyes sparkling with a genuine enthusiasm as his lips curl up into a grin. This is his chance to bridge the gap between them.
“Tell ya what, maybe we can watch some Digimon together sometime. How’s that sound?”
You feel Haru’s grip loosen on your leg. A faint smile touches her lips and a quiet giggle escapes as her initial shyness begins to slowly fade.
“Okay.”
There are many thoughts that come to your mind as you watch this interaction play out—the foremost being how unexpectedly gentle Satoru can be with kids. Something about him, that overconfident and sometimes arrogant man you’ve worked beside, feels different now. Almost likable.
Charming, even
But what you really can’t fathom the most is the image of a sophisticated billionaire engrossed in a kids’ cartoon. That concept alone is enough to make you suppress a laugh.
“You’re a fan of Digimon?” you raise an eyebrow.
Satoru stands up, brushing off his knees with a nonchalant shrug and a crooked smile.
“I used to watch it all the time growing up. Please, come in,” he ushers you inside the building, leading you down the grand hall.
Your breath hitches at the sight of the expansive foyer. The high ceiling, polished marble floors, and impressive chandelier casting a warm glow leave you speechless.
Following behind him, you find yourself studying Satoru’s confident strides—the movement of his back, his broad shoulders and the effortless air of authority he exudes. It’s a stark contrast to what you just witnessed moments ago with Haru.
But that alone makes him even more intriguing to you. Satoru can feel a bit like a wild card. Glimpses of tenderness hidden behind feigned aloofness—subtle playfulness followed by an exacting seriousness.
He keeps surprising you.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Digimon fan,” you remark as you follow behind him.
Satoru chuckles, scratching the back of his head.
“Guilty as charged.”
You can’t help but notice the way he avoids your gaze—is he perhaps being… bashful?
Oh, this is rich.
You really would need an abundance of limbs to count on your hands the amount of times Satoru has given you shit—making your life a daily torture is his specialty after all. Perhaps that is why you couldn’t resist letting this opportunity pass up.
“Next thing you’ll tell me is that you have a secret stash of Digimon cards somewhere,” you snort.
Satoru lets out a contemplative hum.
“Well, I did have a pretty impressive collection back in the day. Who knows, maybe I still have them tucked away in a drawer somewhere.”
“Seriously?” you are unable to hide the amusement in your voice. “You, with a collection of Digimon cards? That’s something I’d pay to see.”
He rolls his eyes with a pout tugging on his lips.
“You’re enjoying this too much. Maybe I’ll dig them out for you one day. But only if you’re nice.”
You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Me, nice to you? That’s a tall order.”
A faint chuckle leaves Satoru’s lips as the spacious foyer transitions into a grand hallway. Haru skips beside you, glancing up at Satoru with a newfound admiration.
The moment you reach a large set of intricately carved wooden doors, he pauses, turning to you with a reassuring smile before pushing them open.
Inside, a cozy yet sophisticated study awaits—shelves lined with books and a large mahogany desk dominating the room.
“Yo, Suguru,” he waves flippantly, “this is y/n and her daughter, Haru.”
Your eyes are met with a man seated behind the desk—a calm and composed air about him. He is strikingly beautiful, raven hair tied back into a bun with louse tousles framing his face. As he looks up from a stack of papers, his sharp yet gentle eyes focus on you and Haru. He rises, extending a hand with a polite smile.
“Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Suguru Geto.”
“Nice to meet you as well,” you shake his hand with a subtle nod.
The presence of another stranger causes Haru’s shyness to return as she hides behind your legs again—you kneel down, smoothing her hair gently.
“Haru,” you pull out a small bag of her favorite toys from your duffle bag, “why don’t you take a seat over there and play with your toys while Mommy talks with Mr. Gojo and Mr. Geto?”
With a light nod, Haru takes the bag and settles into a comfortable armchair in the corner of the room—spreading out her treasures with a look of concentration.
You take a seat across from Suguru, with Satoru sinking into the chair beside you—posture relaxed and seemingly indifferent.
“Alright, let’s get down to business,” Suguru leans forward, “I’ve drafted the marriage contract based on the discussions I’ve had with Satoru. I’ll walk you through the main points.”
Referencing the document upon the desk, he begins.
“Firstly, as you both know, the purpose of this marriage is strictly business-related with no romantic implications. Both parties agree to maintain the appearance of a committed relationship in public and professional settings.”
Okay, easy—right?
You nod, but in the corner of your eye you can see Satoru lounging back in his chair. The mild disinterest on his face and the nonchalant way he twirls a pen between his fingers makes you grit your teeth.
He carries a casual attitude—one you shouldn’t be surprised with at this point because it’s the same infuriating aura he brings to every business meeting. But in this case, it’s a stark contrast to the gravity of this conversation. Here you are, discussing marriage and he’s sitting here as if you’re determining what to eat for lunch.
Yup, nothing’s changed. He still aggravates the hell out of you.
“Next, the duration of the marriage is set for one year, starting from the date of signing,” Suguru continues. “There are provisions for extending or terminating the marriage early, should both parties agree.”
You absorb every word as you listen intently, but Satoru seems to be in his own world. It takes all your self-control not to roll your eyes as you catch him leaning back further into his chair, now balancing it on two legs. He taps his pen against his lip thoughtfully—an indifferent expression plastered across his face.
Is he even listening?
Here you are, about to commit to a fake marriage for the sake of your job and your daughter, and Satoru looks like a bored child.
You shoot him a sideways glance, silently willing him to take this more seriously, but the moment he catches your eye he simply offers a lazy wink, making your blood boil even more.
Suguru, unfazed by Satoru's demeanor, continues outlining the contract.
“The financial arrangements are next…Satoru will include a monthly allowance to you, y/n, to cover personal and household expenses. Both parties will maintain separate bank accounts, and any joint financial decisions require mutual consent.”
You blink in surprise. A monthly allowance?
Though you had asked Satoru to cover child care, you weren’t expecting this level of financial support. Isn’t that a bit excessive?
“Wait, what?” you blurt out, unable to hide your astonishment. “A monthly allowance? For personal and household expenses?”
Satoru’s chair drops back onto all four legs with a soft thud as he leans forward, finally showing a hint of interest. He raises an eyebrow at your reaction, a lazy smile curling his lips.
“We wouldn’t want you or Haru to struggle, now, would we?”
His words sound almost considerate, but it’s the casual way he says them that makes you question his sincerity.
“Some might see you being my secretary as a conflict of interest now. You’ll still work beside me, but I can’t give you a formal salary for that role. Doing it this way ensures that all you have to worry about is playing your part. Besides,” he adds, a hint of amusement creeping back into his voice, “what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t support my wife?”
Raising an eyebrow, you shoot him a wary look, trying to gauge his true intentions. It makes sense… but is he mocking you, or is this his way of showing genuine concern? With Satoru, it’s always hard to tell.
Suguru clears his throat, drawing your attention back to the contract.
“Moving on to the living arrangements, you will both reside in the marital home here.”
Satoru interrupts, tone almost too nonchalant as he leans back in his chair and lazily stretches, “I’ve already arranged for a moving company to pack your things in a few days. They’ll handle everything.”
You blink, the suddenness of it all sinking in.
“Huh?”
“Problem, sweetheart?”
“I... I didn’t realize I’d be moving in so… soon. What about my apartment? I have a lease, and breaking it will incur a penalty.”
He waves off your concern with a dismissive hand, leaning back further with hands casually behind his head.
“I’ll pay it. Consider it handled. No point in you staying there when you’re supposed to be living here.”
Your eyes widen, taken aback by his insouciant dismissal of what, to you, is a significant expense.
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. We need to make this look legitimate, and that means living together. Consider it part of the arrangement.”
To him, solving problems with money seamed effortless.
To you, this isn’t just a contract; it’s a complete upheaval of your life.
You’re starting to really feel the difference in your two worlds.
The abruptness is a bit overwhelming, and yet, Satoru seems to handle it with the same ease he applies to all his business dealings.
It’s a bit unnerving. It’s not that you aren’t grateful, but you can’t help but wonder…does he pity you? See you as a charity act?
Suguru, sensing your hesitation, interjects your thoughts with a soothing tone,
“It’s important for appearances that you both share a residence. It solidifies the arrangement in the eyes of your colleagues and the public.”
You take a deep breath, nodding again. “Right, I understand.”
Suguru nods, making a note on the document.
“Good. Now, let’s move on to the responsibilities and obligations. You’re both expected to attend public and social functions, maintaining the façade of a loving marriage.”
Satoru who still remains leaned in his chair, now has his head tilted back, looking up towards the ceiling.
"Oh, and by the way," he begins, eyes flicking to you while his posture remains unmoved, "we'll be getting married at the courthouse tomorrow to make things official on paper. Our public ceremony will be a grand affair, but it will come later to keep the media satisfied and appease everyone."
Tomorrow?
You give a hesitant nod, absorbing the rapid pace at which your life is changing.
“Alright…tomorrow.”
Suguru flips to the next page, “In terms of termination, either party can initiate it with a 30-day notice. Grounds for early termination include breach of contract or mutual consent. Upon termination, Satoru will provide a one-time settlement payment to you, y/n.”
You blink as Suguru pushes the contract towards you, the settlement amount highlighted in bold. Did Satoru add a few extra zeros by mistake? That number can’t be correct, right?
You glance up at Satoru, who is now inspecting his nails with a look of utter boredom.
“Is this…correct?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.
Satoru looks up, meeting your eyes with a casual shrug.
“Yeah, it’s correct. Consider it a thank you for playing along.”
You shake your head slightly, trying to wrap your mind around the figure. This settlement could change your life, secure Haru’s future, and give you the stability you’ve been desperately seeking.
You could pay off your medical bills for the childbirth, could go back to school. Hell, you could be free of Naoya, you wouldn’t need him or his money.
You narrow your eyes, suspicious of his sudden generosity.
"And what’s the catch?”
Satoru chuckles, a lazy grin spreading across his face as he leans forward, resting his chin in his hand.
"Come on now, sweetheart. Just think of it as me taking care of my...business partner."
Suguru clears his throat, glancing between the two of you.
“Well, there is one additional detail, y/n. The settlement is contingent on maintaining a favorable public image. Any actions or behaviors that damage Satoru’s reputation would result in the forfeiture of all financial support and settlement funds.”
You blink, the implications dawning on you. Ah, of course there would be a condition—you knew better than to think he was just being generous.
“So… I’m responsible for upholding your image? What does that even mean?”
Satoru’s crooked grin widens.
“It means no scandals, no controversies. You play the part of the perfect spouse, attend events, smile for the cameras, and keep any...personal indiscretions out of the spotlight. Simple enough, right?”
Your stomach churns as you realize the depth of his control—you thought you were escaping Naoya’s grasp, but it seems control is still a prevalent force in your life.
This isn’t just a marriage of convenience; it’s a binding agreement that keeps you in line with his public persona, ensuring that any slip-up on your part will have dire financial consequences.
A part of you can’t blame him, though. It makes sense for him to take extra precautions. The Gojos have always been in the public eye, and there have been countless rumors about Satoru's refusal to settle down.
“What if something happens that’s out of my control? What if someone tries to smear my name?”
Satoru’s eyes harden slightly, though his smile remains.
“We’ll handle that on a case-by-case basis. But let’s just say I have ways of managing the media. You just need to play your part, nothing more.”
The calculated control in his tone, juxtaposed with his unwavering smile, makes your skin prickle with unease. The room feels suddenly colder, and a knot tightens in your stomach. You thought you were stepping into a partnership, but now it feels like a performance where one wrong move could cost you dearly.
Suguru interjects, his tone professional.
“This clause is essential for protecting both your interests and Satoru’s. Maintaining a positive public image is crucial for the success of this arrangement and for avoiding any complications that could arise from negative publicity.”
You take a deep breath—this was a gamble. The settlement would secure Haru’s future, your future, but your every move would be scrutinized, and any misstep could strip away the stability you desperately needed.
Your eyes wander to Haru, quietly and innocently playing with her toys. For her sake, you were willing to play Satoru’s game, even if it meant living under the constant pressure of his expectations.
“Alright,” you say firmly. “I agree to the terms.”
Satoru’s eyes flicker with satisfaction and Suguru leans forward sliding a pen towards you both.
“Good. If you both agree to these terms, we can proceed with the signing.”
You observe Satoru as he reaches for the pen—he is back to that usual air of nonchalance; it is almost unsettling. He signs the document with a flourish, barely glancing at the terms, and you envy his composure.
When he hands you the pen, meeting your eyes with a confident smile, you hesitate for a second—then, with a determined snatch, you take the pen from his delicate hand.
Holding your breath, you press the pen to paper and sign your name in one fell swoop. Each stroke of the pen feels heavy, final, but also strangely empowering.
No turning back now.
ꨄ︎
The courthouse ceremony was as brief and impersonal as you expected.
Something about Haru witnessing you legally enter into a fake marriage just didn’t feel right—so you opted to leave her with Satoru’s nanny.
Standing in front of the judge, reciting vows, and signing the official documents felt more like a business transaction than a wedding.
Glancing at Satoru, you couldn't help but feel a bit solemn as you observed him, his expression as indifferent as ever.
This wasn't the fairy tale wedding you once dreamed of. There was no crowd, no rings, no romantic gestures—just a legal agreement with a pen on paper, binding you to him for the next year.
But then again, you knew that coming into this—it was never about romance or dreams; it was about survival and securing a future for Haru.
It was over as quickly as it began—just like that, the judge declared you husband and wife, immediately leaving you alone with Satoru right after.
Noticing your serious expression, Satoru leans in slightly as you gather the official documents.
"You look like you're attending a funeral, not a wedding Mrs. Gojo," his voice drips with playful mockery.
Hearing him call you ‘Mrs. Gojo’ sends a shiver down your spine. That was going to take some getting used to.
“And you look like you’re at a board meeting, not your wedding, Mr. Gojo,” you retort, unable to hide the underlying bite in your voice as your fingers shuffle through the pages.
A deep chuckle reverberates through the otherwise solemn atmosphere. Once you tuck the documents under your arm, you begin to make your way towards the exit. Satoru immediately falls into step beside you.
“Touché. But really, lighten up sweetheart. Gonna need to work harder to convince everyone you’re head over heels in love with me,” there’s a playful challenge in his voice.
Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t help but let out a dry laugh.
“Well, forgive me for not swooning over this magical moment. You know, this isn't exactly how I pictured my wedding day," you mutter, trying to mask the internal melancholy whirling within you.
When you reach for the door, Satoru beats you to it, holding it open with a flourish.
"Oh? And how did you picture it?” he raises an eyebrow as his eyes gleam in amusement, “Let me guess, lots of flowers, a big white dress, and some poor guy professing his undying love for you?"
Okay, screw him. He was really not making this any better. You feel the heat rise to your face as a scoff escapes your lips—the only response you will give him.
Brushing past him, your heels click against the polished floors through the marble halls of the courthouse. As you glance to the tall, ornate windows lining the corridor, the sunlight streams through, casting intricate patterns.
“Hmm, think I guessed right,” he chuckles as he saunters after you.
“And what if you did?” you snap, voice echoing in the grand space. “Is it so weird for me to want a normal family for my daughter?”
The teasing glint in his eyes dim as his expression softens slightly. Once you reach the elevator, Satoru presses the button—the two of you wait in an awkward silence.
The moment the elevator door slides open, you both step inside, the quiet hum of the machinery enveloping you.
“No, it’s not weird. It’s just... different from what I’ve ever thought about,” he says while he presses the button to the lobby.
You huff, crossing your arms as you lean against the back of the elevator.
“What, Mr. Perfect never thought about settling down?”
Satoru's gaze drifts for a moment as he considers your question. The elevator begins its descent, the soft whirl filling the silence.
“Honestly? No, I never did. My father used to pressure me about it all the time. Wanted me to marry someone who could... 'enhance' our family’s status.” He was contemplative, and the echoes of old frustrations are clear in his voice.
You raise an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden openness.
The rumors about Satoru had always painted him as a carefree bachelor, uninterested in the constraints of marriage.
Some said he was too focused on his career, while others whispered that he enjoyed his freedom too much to settle down. There were even speculations that he had a hidden lover, or perhaps he was waiting for the perfect match to come along, someone who could stand by his side both in business and in life.
“…and you never found anyone who fit the bill?”
He chuckles, a hint of bitterness in his voice.
“Plenty of candidates. None that I wanted to spend my life with. Plus, all those ‘suitable matches’ were just women trying to get their hands on the Gojo fortune. Most people just see the money and power. They don't see the person behind it.”
The vulnerability in his eyes is fleeting, and you realize that his father’s expectations must have weighed heavily on him. The pressure to find someone was not about love or companionship—it was about maintaining an image, a legacy. In a way, you both have been victims to control your entire lives.
As the depth of his frustrations become more apparent, you feel a pang of sympathy. It’s enough to make you wonder about the real Satoru. The elevator continues its descent, and you find yourself lingering on his words.
“That sounds... difficult. So why did you go through with this then? With me?”
His gaze softens; his expression thoughtful as he watches the numbers descending the floor levels. He tilts his head slightly, meeting your gaze with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat.
“Because you’re different. You didn’t come to me looking for wealth or status. You needed help, and I needed a solution. It’s honest, in a way. No hidden agendas, no false pretenses.”
A nervous flutter dances in your stomach, your fingers fidgeting with the folder of documents in your hands. The softness in his words catch you off guard, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact.
A small, rueful smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
“In a world where everyone wants something from me, I find your straightforwardness refreshing.”
Your heart skips as a warm blush creeps up your cheeks.
“I never thought you’d see it that way. I just... I wanted to do what was best for Haru.”
“And that’s what makes you different,” he replies softly. “You’re doing this for her, not for yourself. That’s why I agreed to this. Because I believe you’re sincere.”
The elevator chimes softly as it reaches the ground floor and the doors slide open to reveal the bustling courthouse lobby.
The weight of the conversation settles between you, a rare moment of vulnerability that made you see Satoru in a new light—a glimpse into his inner world.
The moment you near the courthouse door, you and Satoru push it open in an attempt to exit, but are immediately greeted by a barrage of flashing cameras and shouted questions. Paparazzi swarm around you, seeming to have materialized out of nowhere—how did they even know where to find you both?
Satoru, ever the master of public appearances, wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. His touch is warm and firm, and you can feel the steady beat of his heart through his suit.
The sensation of his hand resting securely on your hip sends a tingle through your body, a fluttering in your stomach—you realize now that this is the first time he has touched you.
“Smile for the cameras, Mrs. Gojo,” he whispers into your ear, breath tickling your skin.
You blink, heat rising to your face as you’re momentarily caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. But you quickly compose yourself, remembering the role you have to play.
Leaning into him slightly, you offer a shy smile to the cameras. The flashes intensify and the questions grow louder.
“Mr. Gojo why are you in a courthouse?”
“Mr. Gojo, what is the status of Gojo Corporation?”
“Who is this woman Mr. Gojo?”
“What is your statement on your father’s passing?”
As the paparazzi continue to snap photos and shout questions, Satoru leans down and presses a quick, gentle kiss to your temple. His lips were soft, and the warmth of his breath burned your skin. The gesture, though small, sends a shiver down your spine.
It was all for show, you reminded yourself. Just part of the act.
Yet, the unexpected intimacy lingered, making it hard to ignore the way your heart raced at his touch.
Satoru’s kiss had worked perfectly, fueling the media frenzy. The paparazzi went wild at the tender action—camera flashes intensifying and voices growing louder. They call out more questions, desperate to capture every angle of the seemingly affectionate moment. You feel the eyes of the crowd boring into you.
“Let’s get out of here,” Satoru murmurs, voice low and soothing amidst the chaos.
He reaches out, hand warm and firm as he interlocks his fingers with yours, gently guiding you through the throng of reporters towards the waiting car. His other arm subtly shields you from the crowd.
As you finally break free from the mass of flashing cameras and shouting voices, you slide into the car, feeling a sense of relief wash over you as Satoru slides beside you immediately after.
Glancing back at the courthouse, the reality of your new life begins to sink in. Once the car pulls away, a breath escapes you—one you didn’t realize you had been holding in.
“That was... intense.”
Satoru chuckles, arm resting behind your shoulder. He tilts his head slightly, allowing a few tousles of white hair to fall into his eyes. Through the soft strands, his gaze meets yours, a mix of amusement and seriousness dancing in his striking blue eyes.
“Welcome to my world," he murmurs. "Better get used to it, sweetheart. This is just the beginning.”
ꨄ︎
The following day, a moving company arrived at your apartment as promised—they packed up your belongings with swift efficiency, leaving you feeling like a spectator in your own life.
Watching your life be boxed up and loaded into trucks was bittersweet—as your small apartment, with its familiar creaks and cracks, had been your safe haven.
Everything was arranged, down to the smallest detail. By mid-afternoon, you found yourself standing in the grand foyer of Satoru’s mansion once again, this time with all your worldly possessions.
Haru, wide-eyed and excited, clung to your side, her tiny fingers wrapped around your hand.
"Welcome to your new home," Satoru says with a grin.
It felt more like stepping into a palace than a home.
He reaches down and grabs one of your suitcases, lifting it effortlessly,
"Let me show you to our room."
You feel your face heat up instantly.
"Our room?" you stammer. "Why would we need to share a room when no one is here to watch this charade?"
Satoru's grin widens, clearly enjoying your discomfort.
"Relax, I'm just teasing you. You have your own room. I just wanted to see your reaction."
You shoot him a glare, feeling a mix of relief and annoyance.
“You're impossible," you mutter, trying to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
He chuckles, leading you up the grand staircase, and Haru follows closely, her eyes darting around in awe at the luxurious decor. The polished marble steps feel cool underneath you, and the ornate banisters gleam under the soft lighting.
"Come on, let me show you around." Satoru says as he leads the way down a long corridor.
The walls were adorned with intricate tapestries and framed artwork, each piece more exquisite than the last.
Eventually, Satoru stops in front of a set of double doors, turning to you with a small, satisfied smile.
"Here we are."
He pushes them open to reveal a spacious bedroom. The room beautifully furnished, with a large bed, elegant drapes, and a balcony overlooking the manicured gardens below.
"This is your room," he announces, setting your suitcase down gently.
"Wow," you breathe.
It feels a bit overwhelming the moment you step foot inside. Haru, on the other hand, darts past you, exploring every nook and cranny with a delighted giggle. It was easily twice the size of your old apartment.
"This is beautiful... and a lot."
Satoru leans against the doorframe, arms casually crossing over his chest.
The soft light from the chandelier above casts a gentle glow on his features, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw and the curve of his lips. His white hair, tousled just enough to seem effortlessly stylish, frames his face perfectly.
"Only the best for my... business partner," he says, tone light yet carrying a hint of something deeper.
You offer a simple, "Thanks," but your voice is softer than you intended. Your eyes betray you, lingering on him for a moment longer than necessary.
Satoru's eyes hold yours with a softness that catches you off guard—a striking shade of blue that seems almost ethereal. In that moment, you couldn't help but notice the intensity and warmth in his gaze, it’s almost tender, making you feel like anything but just a ‘business partner’.
Was he always this beautiful?
You can’t help but wonder, feeling a warmth spread through you as the silence stretches on. The moment feels strangely intimate, a connection forming that neither of you expected.
Crap. What are you thinking?
Haru’s giggle breaks the spell as she jumps on your bed.
"Oh, and just so you know," he adds with a playful glint in his eye, "my room is right next door. We share the bathroom, so try not to hog all the hot water."
You blink, surprised. "We have to share a bathroom?"
Curiosity getting the better of you, you open the bathroom door and peer inside.
It was equally impressive, with a large tub and walk-in shower, all in pristine condition. The fixtures gleam, and the marble countertop adds a touch of luxury. There was another door leading directly to Satoru’s room, a constant reminder of his proximity.
"Yep. Just think of it as our first test of marital bliss. Can we survive sharing a bathroom?" Satoru's voice was suddenly closer.
You turn to find him standing right behind you, having moved from his previous spot at the doorframe. The idea of sharing such a personal space with him was a bit unnerving. An awkwardly intimate setup for such a detached relationship, but you didn't have much of a choice.
"…I suppose I'll manage.”
Satoru laughs softly.
"That's the spirit. And don't worry, Haru's room is right across from us. She's got the best room in the house actually," he adds, tilting his head to the side as a cue for you to follow him.
Haru trails excitedly behind as you walk through the luxurious hallway, her giggles echo off the walls. Opening the door, you peek inside and are struck by the sheer extravagance of it.
The room was a child’s dream—decorated in soft pastel colors, with a canopy bed draped in delicate lace, plush toys neatly arranged on shelves, and even a small play area complete with a dollhouse and a set of building blocks. The walls were adorned with whimsical murals of fairies and woodland creatures, creating a magical atmosphere that seemed straight out of a storybook.
Haru's delighted squeals bring a smile to your face, easing the last of your worries.
It was clear that Satoru had spared no expense in making her feel welcome. Each detail spoke of thoughtfulness and care, from the cozy reading nook to the vibrant rainbow-colored rug that added a playful touch to the room. How on earth did he pull all this off so quickly?
“Wow, look, Mama!” she exclaims, her eyes lighting up with joy, running inside to inspect her new haven.
A sense of relief washes over you as a tender smile forms upon your lips. At least Haru would be happy here. The sight of her so animated and cheerful makes the transition a bit easier to bear. Satoru stands beside you.
“I wanted her to feel at home," he says softly, eyes reflecting a rare sincerity.
“You've done more than that. She's ecstatic," you reply, watching Haru dive into a pile of stuffed animals with a gleeful laugh.
Satoru clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, the gesture uncharacteristically awkward. He glances at the clock on the wall, as if searching for an excuse to end the moment.
"Well, I'll leave you to it," his tone is gentle and almost hesitant. "Let me know if you need anything. Dinner will be ready soon, see you down there?”
His usual confidence is somewhat muted—you wonder, is it you? Haru?
"Yeah,” you nod, “I’m going to put a few of my things away and then we’ll meet you downstairs."
“Right. Take your time. There's no rush."
You can’t help but replay the interaction in your mind as you unpack the essentials from your suitcase. The awkwardness between you and Satoru would pass, you hope. For now, it was enough to know that Haru is happy and safe.
Haru’s laughter echoes from her room, a sound that brings a smile to your face. She seemed to be adjusting much faster than expected, her innocent joy undiminished by the upheaval.
And to you, her laughter solidified it—marrying Satoru, this was the right call.
ꨄ︎
The past few days living with Satoru had been a whirlwind of adjustments—it wasn’t without its challenges. The mansion, with its sprawling rooms and luxurious decor, is more like a museum than a home.
The sheer size makes you feel small and out of place at times, and the constant presence of staff make it difficult to find a moment of privacy.
Satoru, however, had been surprisingly considerate. He’s a constant reminder of the delicate balance you need to maintain—attentive yet reserved, playful yet serious, a paradox that kept you on edge.
Your interactions with Satoru had settled into a routine of polite, if somewhat distant, cohabitation. There were moments of unexpected tenderness, like when he had found you struggling to open a jar in the kitchen and had stepped in to help with a playful grin.
Another time, you had been overwhelmed while trying to assemble a new toy for Haru, and Satoru had quietly taken a seat beside you, helping to figure out the instructions without a word.
Yet despite these moments, there was always an underlying tension, a reminder of the unusual circumstances that had brought you together.
As the days passed, the impending charity gala loomed larger in your mind—the first public event you would attend together as a married couple.
Satoru had taken the time to sit down with you and discuss how you would present yourselves, a task that seemed daunting but necessary.
You agreed on the basics: stay close, exchange subtle touches, and share occasional whispers to create an air of intimacy. The plan was straightforward, but the execution would be another matter entirely.
He emphasized the importance of appearing united, offering tips on how to handle the media and the probing questions that were sure to come. His confidence and ease in handling the media was something you were learning to lean on, though the pressure of maintaining the charade weighed heavily on you.
“What about Haru?” you asked, concern evident in your voice.
“We’ll leave her out of the spotlight,” Satoru replied gently. “I don’t want to overwhelm her. She takes no part in this agreement beyond being your daughter. She’ll stay here with the nanny during the event.”
Amidst all this, your phone had been buzzing constantly with missed calls from Naoya. You hadn't answered any of them—maybe you should just call off the court case?
You did just go through a life changing event, marriage, and that often interferes with the legal process anyways. The judge would need to take into consideration your new source of income for the child support payments.
Honestly, you don’t need Naoya’s support anymore.
You’ll take care of that after the gala though—right now you already have too much on your plate, spending hours with Satoru, fabricating shared experiences and finding common ground to make your relationship believable.
The task of memorizing details about his likes and dislikes, his habits, and his quirks was daunting, but you found yourself surprised at the small details you were beginning to remember about him—the way he took his coffee, his favorite late-night snack, the way his eyes crinkled just slightly when he found something genuinely funny, or how he would absentmindedly run a hand through his tousled white hair when deep in thought.
As the days slipped by in a blur of preparations and rehearsed smiles, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this carefully constructed façade was starting to take on a life of its own. Each shared glance and each moment of unexpected kindness blurred the lines between reality and pretense, leaving you wondering just how deep this charade would go.
ꨄ︎
Standing in front of your bathroom mirror, you adjust the luxurious dress Satoru had picked out for you. A deep, elegant blue fabric clings to your curves in all the right places, and the V-shaped open back that rests above your hips adds a touch of allure.
Loose cascading waves frame your face perfectly, and the professional makeup artist gave you a look that is both subtle and glamorous, enhancing your features in a way the felt natural yet striking.
You barely recognize yourself.
The transformation was astonishing, turning you from a frazzled single mother into a vision of sophistication and grace.
Was it too much? You feel out of sorts, like you’re wearing someone else's skin. The elegant image in the mirror is both thrilling and unnerving.
As you try to steady your racing heart, a knock on the bathroom door makes you jump slightly—Satoru’s door.
“Y/n you ready?” his voice calls out.
With a deep breath, you take one last look in the mirror. As you open the door, Satoru’s frame leans casually against the entryway.
The sleek black tuxedo he is adorned in highlights his broad shoulder and lean frame. His white hair is perfectly styled, contrasting sharply with the dark fabric.
He meets you with a stunned silence—eyes widening slightly as he takes you in. The cool blue of his irises seem more vibrant, gleaming with anticipation as they trace over your form.
You had never seen his eyes linger across your figure like this before—the intensity of his gaze makes your stomach flutter. Feeling a bit self-conscious, you fear what will come out of his mouth.
Does he think it’s too much?
“Wow,” he breathes, voice almost reverent. “You look... stunning.”
A blush creeps up your cheeks at his unexpected compliment, and you find yourself unable to meet his gaze.
"Thank you," you say softly, smoothing down the fabric of your dress.
Satoru steps closer, eyes locked on you. He reaches out and gently lifts your chin, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.
“Seriously, you look amazing. I knew the dress would look good on you, but this... you’re going to be the star of the gala,” a slow smile spreads across his lips. “Ready to knock them dead?”
You nod, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in your stomach.
“As ready as I’ll ever be…hopefully I can live up to the part.”
“You will,” offering you his arm, he adds, “Just be yourself, and stay by my side, we’re in this together."
ꨄ︎
The ride to the gala is filled with a comfortable silence.
The city lights blur outside the window as the car smoothly navigates through the streets. You find yourself stealing glances at Satoru, admiring the way his profile looks in the dim light.
Strange.
The usually insufferable man seemed different tonight—steadfast, dependable, almost... comforting? Perhaps it’s the nerves.
His arm rests casually behind you, fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, and you’re surprised yourself how it does not bother you—in fact, it’s actually quite soothing.
Once you arrive, the grand ballroom is a stunning sight. Chandeliers hang from the high ceiling, casting a soft, golden glow over the elegantly dressed crowd.
The room is filled with the city’s elite—a sea of luxurious gowns and tailored suits mingling and exchanging pleasantries. The sight of you and Satoru together was enough to turn heads, drawing curious and admiring glances.
But the sheer number of people, the pressure of playing your part, and the countless eyes watching your every move—it’s all a bit overwhelming. You really felt out of place here.
Sensing your unease, Satoru leans in close, breath warm against your ear.
“Remember, just follow my lead.”
Guiding you with ease, his hand rests lightly on the small of your back as you voyage through the attendees—the warm gentle touch is electric against your bare skin.
Your eyes skim through the herd of people and land on a waiter balancing a tray of champagne glasses. Perhaps a drink would ease your nerves? You don’t hesitate to grab a glass as you navigate the crowd.
Satoru, ever the socialite, seamlessly traverses the room, introducing you to important figures and engaging in small talk that you struggle to follow.
Discussions ranged from market trends and corporate mergers, to the latest charity galas and art exhibitions. Trying to keep up, you nod and smile at the appropriate moments.
It’s clear that Satoru is in his element—his charm, effortless. You find yourself admiring how easy he makes it all look.
As you cling to him, the pride in his eyes when he looks at you makes you feel like you belong, even if you are just playing a part in this elaborate charade.
The evening flowed smoothly enough, with your glass of champagne acting as a steady companion. The warmth of the alcohol helps you mingle with guests, exchange polite conversations, and stay close to Satoru, all as planned. But each interaction was a delicate dance—your smiles and nods masking the nerves simmering beneath the surface.
Honestly, your mind was elsewhere—there is an undercurrent of anxiety as you anticipate Satoru’s announcement on stage, where he would publicly acknowledge your marriage during his donation speech.
When the moment you had been dreading finally arrives, you settle into a chair near the front, heart pounding in your chest.
Satoru takes the stage with a natural grace, and as the spotlight illuminates his striking figure, his presence commands the attention of everyone in the room.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he begins, his voice resonating with a confident authority. “I want to thank you all for being here tonight. Your generosity and support make events like this possible.”
His words flow smoothly as he speaks eloquently about the cause and significance of the charity, each sentence perfectly crafted to engage and inspire—you marveled at his ability to enthrall people.
Pressing your champagne glass to your lips, you desperately hope the cool liquid can help to steady your nerves a bit more.
Then, the moment came.
“I will be donating ten million dollars to this charity,” Satoru announces, his voice carrying a conviction.
The amount causes a ripple of excitement and murmurs to spread through the crowd—you nearly choked on your champagne in shock.
Ten million?
You couldn’t even fathom having that much money, let alone donating it. The magnitude of Satoru’s status is staggering.
A smile tugs at Satoru’s lips—a genuine warmth mingling with the mischievous glint in his eyes. He pauses, letting the impact of his words settle, then lifts a finger to tap his chin contemplatively, as if he just remembered something.
“Or should I say, we will be donating—me and my lovely wife.”
Satoru gestures in your direction as a spotlight beams upon you. The crowd erupts into an enthusiastic applause, causing your heart to race the moment all eyes instantly turn to you.
There is a rush of heat that rises to your cheeks, mixing with the warmth of the alcohol. The weight of the crowd’s gaze makes your vision a bit blurry.
Beckoning you to join him on stage, Satoru extends his hand and offers a comforting smile. Though, the moment you stand, the room spins slightly—perhaps it’s from the champagne, or perhaps it’s the sheer pressure.
You can’t fuck this up.
With as much grace as you can muster, you make your way to the platform.
Satoru wraps an arm around your waist the moment you are at his side, pulling you close and steadying your trembling figure. He looks down into your eyes with a genuine look of endearment.
“Everyone, please welcome my beautiful wife, y/n,” he says softly in the microphone, his voice filled with a gentle pride.
The applause swells, and you manage a smile, trying to focus on Satoru while ignoring the spotlight’s heat and the intense gazes of attendees.
Leaning in, his lips brush against your ear as he whispers, “You’re doing great.”
Despite the orchestrated nature of your relationship, in this moment, his genuine reassurance means everything. His presence is a steady anchor in the sea of faces and flashing cameras, the only thing holding you together right now.
When the applause dies down, Satoru continues his speech, the warmth of his hand remaining on your waist as his thumb traces soft circles.
You can barely focus on his words, the dizzying reality of where you’re standing feels both exhilarating and terrifying.
The moment Satoru’s speech concludes, the soft hum of conversation mingling and the delicate notes of the live orchestra begin to fill the air yet again. Satoru leads you off the stage, his hand never leaving your side.
Almost immediately after you descend to the floor, Satoru is approached by a business associate, his demeanor shifting effortlessly into that of a seasoned negotiator as they exchange discussions of market trends, potential collaborations, and strategic ventures.
Your heart is still pounding—public speaking was never your strong suit. Despite not needing to speak, being on that stage stirred something within you.
You recall a particularly disastrous presentation in college where you accidentally knocked over the projector, sending your notes flying across the room. The laughter from the audience still haunts you, and since then, you’ve always dreaded being the center of attention.
With Satoru engrossed in conversation, you seize the opportunity to make your way to the bar—seeking a moment of reprieve. Another drink wouldn’t hurt, right?
The gleaming rows of crystal glasses and various bottles of wine and spirits catch your eye. You scan the selection, your gaze lingering on a particularly rich, deep red wine.
Deciding it’s exactly what you need to steady your nerves, you signal the bartender and opt for a glass of the robust vintage, savoring the thought of its smooth, calming flavor.
One glass turned into two—your nerves finally beginning to settle as the soothing effects of the alcohol take over your senses.
Realizing you’ve been away from Satoru for quite some time, you prepare to rejoin him—but just as you start to rise, a familiar, unwelcome voice interrupts your thoughts.
“Well, well, look who we have here,” Naoya sneers, leaning against the bar beside you, a glass of scotch swirling in his hand. “Didn’t expect to see you here, mingling with the high society.”
A chill runs down your spine and you heart drops. No amount of alcohol could have prepared you for this moment.
“Naoya,” you stiffen, clutching your wine glass tighter. “What are you doing here?”
He takes a swig of his scotch, emptying the glass and placing it down on the counter with a loud clink. Leaning closer into your space, his eyes narrow—a cold, cynical stare boring into you.
“I could ask you the same thing. This doesn’t seem like your usual scene. What’s your angle?”
Your breath quickens and you feel your pulse hammering in your chest. Adverting your gaze, your fingers brush against the rim of your wine glass.
“I’m sure you heard, I’m here with my husband, if you must know. Not that it’s any of your business.”
The sneer he meets you with makes the room suddenly feel smaller, as if his presence is suffocating you.
“Husband, huh?” his eyes rake over you with contempt suspicion, “Quite the leap from where you were a few weeks ago. Is this some kind of game to you?”
Summoning your courage, you straighten your back and meet his gaze head-on.
“Not a game, Naoya. It’s called moving on. You should try it sometime. My life is no longer any of your concern.”
Taking a step closer, he looms over you—his voice lowering to a menacing whisper.
“I don’t buy it. This whole charade… you think I don’t know what you’re trying to pull?”
For a moment, you are frozen in place, the fear and control Naoya exerts paralyzing you. Your mind races, the implications of his words sinking in.
What if he exposes you?
What if this carefully constructed facade comes crashing down?
Before you can respond, you feel an arm slip around your waist, pulling you with practiced ease out of Naoya’s bubble and right beside Satoru.
“There you are, darling. Everything alright?”
His voice is smooth and warm, and his gaze flicks between you and Naoya, narrowing as he surveys the situation. The look on your face unsettles him—something feels off.
Naoya straightens himself, leaning against the bar with a supercilious smirk as he crosses his arms.
“Just catching up with an old friend. No harm in that, right?”
“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” Satoru’s tone was light but laced with an underlying steel, “I’m y/n’s husband, Satoru Gojo.”
A scoff escapes Naoya as his eyes flash with irritation, but an unnerving smile remains upon his lips.
“Yes, I’ve heard. You certainly move fast, don’t you, y/n?”
Naoya can see right through you—you fell a flash of panic. Turning to Satoru, your eyes meet his with a silent plea for support. His expression softens and he gives you a reassuring nod while tightening his grip upon your waist.
“Well, when you know, you know,” Satoru says with a charming smile, “and we knew.”
Naoya snickers, running his hand through his hair in disbelief.
“Come on y/n. How did someone like you end up with someone like him? Seems... unlikely. You don’t belong here.”
Heat rises to your face and the sudden urge to shrink away overwhelms you—your heart dropping at the sting of Naoya’s words.
Suddenly, Satoru steps closer, creating a protective barrier between you and Naoya—the playful glint in his eyes gone, replaced with a cold, steely determination.
“Watch your mouth, you don’t get to talk to my wife like that.”
“I’m just stating the obvious,” Naoya shrugs, meeting Satoru’s glare with an indifference as he shoves his hands in his pockets. “She’s out of her league here.”
Satoru’s jaw tightens, his voice low and dangerously calm.
“If you think she’s out of her league, then you clearly don’t know her at all. You’re out of line. Y/n belongs here more than anyone. So, unless you have something worthwhile to say, I suggest you move along.”
“Is that so?” Naoya raises an eyebrow. “You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical. After all, you’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf, Satoru Gojo.”
Panic seizes you as Naoya’s observation hangs in the air. The last thing you need is for him to start spreading rumors or causing trouble. You realize you have to do something, and fast. Your mind races, desperately searching for a way to convince Naoya of your authenticity.
Summoning all the courage you can muster, you step forward, threading your arms around Satoru’s neck as you rest your forehead against his own. Your words are addressed to Naoya, but your eyes remain on Satoru the entire time, drawing strength from his steady gaze and the warmth of his touch.
“Satoru and I... we chose each other for reasons that go beyond what you see. We may have our differences, but we’re stronger together, and we have a connection that you can’t comprehend.”
Satoru’s eyes soften, reflecting a silent understanding and a shared resolve—his breath mingling with yours.
Feeling Naoya’s probing gaze, you know he won’t be easily convinced, and so, acting on impulse, you pull Satoru closer and crash your lips against his.
For a moment, Satoru seemed caught off guard. His eyes widened in surprise before they fluttered closed, his hands moving to rest on your hips. The world around you seemed to fade away as the kiss lingered, heat pooling in your stomach.
It was supposed to be a quick peck, just enough to sell the act. But the moment your lips met his, something shifted.
Perhaps you were emboldened by the alcohol, perhaps it was the need to be convincing, perhaps it was the way Satoru stood up for you—without thinking, you deepen the kiss, parting your lips and slipping your tongue into his mouth, making things more intimate than you originally intended.
You can feel Satoru tense for a moment, his surprise evident. But then, with a soft hum against your mouth he melts into the kiss, a hand moving to cup your face as he returns the intimacy with unexpected fervor—his other hand encircling around your waist, pulling you closer against him.
Your fingers thread through Satoru’s hair and the world around you seems to fade away—the only thing that mattered now was the heat radiating off of Satoru’s body, the warmth of his lips against yours, and the lingering sweet taste of the gala’s chocolate cake mingling with the wine on your tongue.
It was a moment that felt both incredibly real and utterly surreal.
When you finally pull back, you are both breathless. As you catch a flicker of something unreadable in Satoru’s half lidded eyes, for a brief moment, you forget about Naoya completely, about the act, about everything except the electric connection between you both.
Satoru's thumb gently caresses your cheek, his gaze softening.
Pulling yourself back to reality, you peer over to Naoya—his smug expression had vanished, replaced by a look of genuine surprise and irritation.
“As you can see, we’re very happy together,” you say sweetly, rubbing your nose against Satoru’s.
"Didn't think you were the type to move on so quickly," Naoya sneers.
A wave of exhilaration and embarrassment course through you as Naoya retreats back into the crowd. The kiss had done its job, but it had also left you with a lingering sense of uncertainty. Satoru’s touch is still warm on your skin—you can still taste him on your lips.
"You okay?" he asks softly, his concern genuine.
The question pulls you out of your thoughts, but his gaze does the opposite—your face flushes and it feels like your heart is going to pound out of your chest.
"Yeah. I... I just needed to convince him.."
Satoru studies you momentarily—knowing there is more to the story with Naoya. But he also knows now isn’t the time to pry.
He chuckles softly, his hand lingering on your waist.
“Well, I think you succeeded. That was... unexpected. You really went for it there,” he murmurs.
For a moment, it felt like you were playing a role, but the feelings stirring inside you were anything but fake.
"I'm sorry," you swallow hard, face flushing with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to..."
“I didn’t mind,” he interjects, thumb brushing against your lower lip, sending a shiver down your spine. “Just so you know, you did great. Better than I expected,” his voice low and husky.
Fuck.
You blink—Naoya is gone, but here Satoru is, still holding you so intimately, so intently.
The way he looks at you, the warmth in his touch, the tone of his voice—it makes you question the lines between reality and pretense.
“Didn’t know you had it in you.” Satoru hums, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. He leans in, his breath dancing on your lips, tantalizingly close. “But next time, let’s save the tongue for when we’re really alone, hm?”
What is he saying?
Your mind races, trying to decipher his words, his intentions. Was he still in character, or was there a hint of genuine desire in his eyes?
The electricity in the air was undeniable, and you find yourself lost in the intensity of his gaze—the crowd around you fading, their murmurs and whispers becoming a distant hum.
Satoru’s eyes held secrets you were desperate to uncover.
As you struggle to formulate your thoughts, Satoru’s hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb tracing a soft line along you jaw.
"Relax," he murmurs, "We're just putting on a show, remember?"
You nod, though your heart betrays you with its rapid pace.
“Right,” you whisper, forcing a smile. “Just a show.”
But deep down, you can’t shake the feeling that there was more to this act than either of you were willing to admit.
ahh i really enjoyed writing this chapter. okay, i was snickering at satoru's internal turmoil when he met haru for the first time. i couldn't resist with the digimon 🤭 my daughter is currently obsessed with pikachu so that's where that inspiration came from lol. also, this kiss was one of my favs to write 🥰 lemme know if you guys are interested in me making this a longer series. as always, thanks for reading 🫶🏻 → on to the next chapter ꨄ
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#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fanfic#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru smut#gojo smut#jjk x reader#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu satoru#gojo#gojo jjk#satoru angst#satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#mhm#motherhood and matrimony#enemies to lovers#fake marriage#gojo satoru fluff#satoru fluff#jjk series
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I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.
A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.
However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.
I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."
I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.
I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.
While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.
I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.
Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.
AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.
What are these acronyms?
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i just had a moment
i wonder how many people on this were, in a way, saved from an alt-right pipeline by realizing and accepting that they're queer.
like 12-13 year old me was going on like /pol/ and shit before the dysphoria hit
just makes you think
Oh yay this is causing me to ramble
I think that being targeted by some form of radicalization was genuinely part of the reality of being a white kid online in the 200Xs to 201Xs.
I don't think I was fully on that pipeline, but I was 3000% an obnoxious neolib atheist as a teenager. The kind of person that describes themselves as "socially progressive, economically conservative", engaged with MRA stuff online with shallow "but what about men" sentiments, thought many protests had "the right idea, but are too extreme, we should just debate", and generally considered myself better than everyone else because of how "smart" and "rational" I was.
You know the type. This was when I was like... 14-17yo. And before you scoff at it being "dumb teenage shit", the alt right targeted those people, at that age and time, hard. I turned 18 in 2016, and that election was my first, coming right off of an online climate relentlessly trying to radicalize kids... So yeah, it was weird.
I feel like the ones that didn't become alt right gradually slid into leftism. Usually, the "revelation" moment was when you're excluded. You realize a lot of these people's "rationality" is based on irrational biases that they're dressing up as "logic", and it all crumbles. PoC and other minoritized groups are excluded form the start, of course, but since being queer is something that doesn't awaken until a bit later in life, it creates a kind of unique experience of potentially falling down that hole, until you realize you can't be a part of it.
But also to be fair... the same environment that caused a lot of the radicalization also fostered a lot of the communities we love. Modern "breadtube", as annoying as that term is, is an offshoot of this as well. Beyond just a few online-famous people, there's larger circles of leftist communities that have organized and done real, active good. I still carry some streaks of that stuff around, and I'm probably less extreme than most terminally online queer leftist circles. But idk. A bit of that weird, "rational worship" online vibe has done good, even if it's also done a lot of harm.
Honestly, everything I'm talking about here is extremely well summarized by Contrapoint's tangent about New Atheism. It's a Patreon exclusive, but it's a topic I saw myself reflected in a lot.
If my ramble here is shitty/incomplete and feels like I'm being apologetic or trying to excuse the alt right, that's an error in communication, not my actual intent- I hope that's clear.
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One of the many reasons why I love the Phandom so much is that as a result of being so completely divorced from the source material, from the creator, ect, and with Danny Phantom having asked so long ago, is how the DP fandom is a safe space free of the knight kind of tiring discorce some modern fandoms have.
Okay, mostly right now I'm referring to minecraft youtube things and how I can take shelter in DP where no real world things can harm me. Same with any older fandoms probably, I just get tired of discorce and not knowing if I should take people seriously or not.
My brain is not good at telling if someone is just saying pretty things with the right tone of voice or are being legitimate. I automatically want to believe people regardless and it's hard.
It's nice to have the fandoms where I can just enjoy and not worry about all that, where the fandom is focused more around the fanworks and the idea of it than a thing else and I don't have to feel uncomfortable when certain people come up.
I don't know what to feel about certain content creators right now, and it's uncomfortable watching videos where hermits keep flying by and passing by bases that are empty and might stay that way, with storylines cut short and two hermits just... gone. Until today I had kind of come to terms with the Iskall thing, but I still missed Stress and wondered what happened, and if she'd ever return or say something. Now it seems like she's on Iskall's side. Who knows. I still hope, or maybe wish, that this could all be some huge misunderstanding, maybe where Iskall was hacked and impersonated, as unlikely as that is, idk.
If Iskall is telling the truth, and the Hermits gave him 3 hours to prepare for a meeting to explain himself... first it sounded like he was already talking to the police before that, even though he said the Hermits ambushed him with it... idk. Maybe someone threatened him or something beforehand and he really was already talking to the police and a lawyer. I hope, in the end, that if that was the case and he is somehow in the right, that the Hermits would be understanding.
I don't know. This is all tiring, and confusing. I hope more information comes out that can shed light on things, maybe with more proof of his wrongdoings. I dint know if screenshots of chat messages can be enough, since it's very easy to fake those, but I don't know.
Ugh, I have a migraine and this is not helping. I feel weird watching any hermitcraft right now, and honestly any minecraft content too. Well alright, most minecraft content. I have been watching Waddles on YouTube for information about the newest minecraft update. I'm not too upset hearing about new cows, pigs, and bushes with fire flies. At least the cold variant pig can't get involved in a scandal, lol.
The world is such a scary place right now, and even the fandoms I enjoy to escape that scary reality we live in aren't safe from that.
#iskall situation#just me venting#genuinely my head feels like someone took an axe to it#everything hurts and the world is on fire#thankfully not literally where i am right now but still
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sex work depiction anon here! i have a couple of things to say
1. this was honestly GREAT adivce! especially the part where you highlighted "the people who are forced are sex trafficking victims". you worded my thoughts in a way i couldnt possibly think about myself. my original idea was reader starts doing sex work so she can pay for college and then ends up liking it, but idk, it felt so... shallow??? this is why i think the best way to research for writing is talking and asking people who deal with that reality in a daily basis. anyway...
2. the champagne carpet thing is genius! this is the kind of thing you can only figure out when talking to people, this is why I like to do it so much. you don't find this kind of thing on google!!!
3. i think you are a writing goddess and your offer to beta my work had me MELTING on the chair at my work. i feel SO FUCKING FLATTERED, too bad it is not for mob psycho nor gf. just know you made my day just with this offer
4. i did not intend to write a gravity falls fanfic but DAMN i really wanna stral your idea and write a fic for stan where he tries to trick reader into quitting this job and live with him (but he falls short, ofc) BUT I'M NOT FUNNY ENOUGH. god im not nearly as talented as i need to be to pull this off 😭
thank you so much for your time and for caring so much about my ask. once i develop the plot a bit more i'll definitely come back and ask you a couple more things (if you dont mind, of course). it means the world to me, truly
No problem dude!
I mean, choosing to get into sex work to pay for college and then liking is actually really common! I don't think that's a bad motivation at all. I know lots of people who have done similar, or who have wanted to do further study (Masters, PhD etc) and used sex work to finance that. I think it would be weird if it was like a 'debt sharks are knocking on my door and I have no other choice' kind of thing, because then that leans into more of the 'being forced' vein, if that makes sense?
Yeah the champers carpets were great lol truthfully a real Moment for science. I still don't even know if it really works, but management told me that was the case and they didn't ever smell boozy or anything so who knows.
Ahhhh thank you haha! If you do write the Stan one then please feel free to let me know, I'd love to help! I'm sure you'd do wonders with it! Dialogue is hard to get down sometimes, though, I feel you on that. If you'd like a good movie/series of scenes to get an idea on how a convo like that might take place (or really how any creep/Captain talks to a stripper), check out Closer (2004). It has Natalie Portman in it and she plays a dancer who has lots of interactions in those kinds of themes. It might be of use! I forgot to mention it in the initial ask, sorry lol.
And no problem at all. Thanks for asking it, honestly. I really appreciate you caring enough to want to give good representation. That doesn't happen very often at all so it means a lot! Feel free to hit me up any time :) <3
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will confess, it's incredibly tiring to keep seeing people just defending sophie because she's "The pro-endo blog" when she's frankly incredibly racist. like. i am an endogenic system, but i'm also a system of colour, and people just ignore how sophie has posted such bangers (/s) as "i don't agree with the transracial terminology […] however i know many other headmates in other systems that identify as different ethnicities for exomemory reasons, i think it would be hypocritical to try to police how others identify.", along with defending being transintersex, literally saying it'd be cool for her to be described as a radqueer god, along with many other instances of being blatently fine with radqueers, which is a racist ass community.
like. yeah. way to make systems of colour feel welcome in the pro-endo community, by having one of the biggest blogs be a blatant racist. i'm begging people to actually be critical of her and think about what else she's saying outside of just "endogenics are real!", because she's spreading a lot of bullshit and i have been blocking every single blog i see supporting her, even if that leaves me with a lot quieter community
Transracial and transID stuff honestly makes us angry, and yeah, that's one of the reasons we don't support her. KIND OF A RANT INCOMING.
The wild thing is, we're one of the systems she uses an excuse in this example. We have collective members from various non-USian cultures. Given our predilection towards spiritual explanations for our plurality and the fact that we have lives outside of the body, we don't make everyone 'admit they're actually white' or whatever, but we are also not saying these people have any special connection with any cultures on this earth. One of these people, let's call him Orpheus; transracial stuff makes him fucking *livid*. He is disgusted by the fetishization from people who have not shown an ounce of respect towards various cultures, and seemingly do not intend to respectfully learn about them or integrate open practices into their own life. The culture we're most familiar with is Japanese; if you genuinely felt something for that culture you could do things like learn the language, practice more humility, learn how to make Japanese cuisine, purchase a futon from Japan, take your shoes off in the house, etc. How many people actually do this? How many of these people are familiar with any Japanese people? It just feels like a white person really liking a culture from media consumption (without actually knowing anything about it), and then saying they want to be a part of that culture and pretending that denouncing their whiteness makes them any less privileged in a society where white supremacy is the dominant mode of hierarchy.
(All this is to say: none of us would ever ID as 'transracial', no matter what we look like or what our memories are, because we understand that the reality of our body's race and our Collective upbringing are what determines every interaction we have; pretending otherwise and fetishizing a race you have no connection with is really disgusting.)
God. Don't get us started with the radqueer stuff, we'll be here all day. I have sympathy for people who identify as 'transdisabled' or whatever because they can't admit they are actually disabled or feel like they're not allowed to call themselves that despite having actual disabilities, but the rest of it is just privileged people cosplaying social inequality. It's so fucking gross, and sort of emblematic of Sophie's seeming inability to hold people to account if they agree with her or like her.
ETA: I don't see stuff like 'mspec lesbians' or any other weird/nontraditional gender or sexuality labels to be part of radqueer stuff. Gender and sexuality are finger paints, you can do literally whatever you want with them. Idk if those are still under that umbrella but regardless, go nuts
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6 + 7 for Xarrai and Ieriyn from the ask meme you reblogged?
hiii anon thank you 💖
6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?
xarrai:
idk man astarion works pretty fucking hard to do this and it does not work LOL the thing about xarrai is that they barely have a moral compass at all and so what little they DO have they are incredibly dedicated to. like the only real moral they have to speak of is Tyranny Is Bad - though like, there's wiggle room there (in their opinion). at what point does something become tyranny? how much power is too much? i feel like they're constantly living in that grey area honestly so it may not be as hard to get them to do something against their morals if you kind of treated it like the frog in the boiling water analogy. like what astarion did (offered to share the power of the vampire ascendant with them) would not work because they can go "hm no that sounds like tyranny. hard pass." (tho he was also lying and they knew that) but if someone were to, say, encourage them to take power slowly and carefully by winning people over one by one and systematically ruining their lives to keep them in line, you may be able to get them a few ruined politicians deep before they were like "hey wait a minute...."
i rly need to expand on the weird mind games they've been playing with the elites of the upper city for the last 15 years to make this answer make any amount of sense tbh but that is its own can of worms. essentially for them the line between tyranny and simple control/influence is very thin and always moving and they are always always always right up against it out of some sort of baked in compulsion to seek safety in power whether they use that power or not.
ieriyn:
ieriyn has already crossed that line. killing people at all period was against his moral compass. BUT that wasn't him being convinced so much as him seeing the reality of the situation this whole tadpole business has put him in which i think is kinda different. and see the thing about ieriyn is he's not stupid but he is trusting and the right person probably could convince him of a lot. i'm cooking up some sort of plot wrt to his lifelong mentor manipulating him into. something (undecided what yet) that's going to play into the personal quest i'm giving him (bc i'm unwell and need all my tavs to have their own special personal quests) but that's like the exact thing i'm talking about - ieriyn trusts easy and he trusts deeply and while he does have a strong moral compass he also has a deep need to please the people he cares for that makes critical thinking harder for him sometimes.
7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?
xarrai:
well when i made xarrai they were just some dude. they were just a stoner bard who moonlighted as an expensive fssw and that was... it. lol. they didn't give a shit about much of anything (still kind of true, though they have Some Things They Give A Shit About now) and absolutely didn't want to be any sort of leader. and now they're. well. an ex-banite cultist with a shitload of childhood trauma and an abstract sense of self trying to navigate cycles of abuse and trauma AND a stoner bard who moonlights as an expensive fssw.
ieriyn:
i initially planned to multiclass him into a warlock with the idea that he made this pact Very Recently to try to wrest power/inheritance money away from his older siblings but that seemed 1. too power hungry and i already have xarrai and their weird relationship to power and 2. too cool. ieriyn needed to be a little cringe. he needed to be a boyfailure. he was also originally meant to be part of a co-op campaign with my partner for their spawn astarion romance run (they r doing an ascended run rn) but i just didn't think his arc would work as well if he had to share responsibility like that because, again, i wanted him to be kind of a failure esp early game and the tav ramza has planned for their astarion romance is actually competent and i didn't want to bog him down with my sweet sweet fail son.
#oc. xarrai#oc. ieriyn#漫言#xar has changed SO much bc i went into the game completely blind with them#and just sorta. built them as i went.#i rly like the way it’s worked out so far tho :3c
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My Nights Are Rough Honestly Tumblr...
Hell my days are too, but I don't say much about it.
I hold my tongue a lot these days.
It's just really rough...still deeply missing him...IDK, it comes in waves.
One moment I'm okay...then the next my brain is triggered by something, and I wander off into my head, and there he is again, visually right in front of me. I miss his voice. I can't remember what he sounds like anymore, yet I can still vaguely remember and hear Elliot's voice in my head...I hate that a little bit, honestly.
My brain is just all kinds of turmoil.
There is so much I've trauma-removed from my memory bank.
But still, so much I remember about a lot that has occurred within the 34 years of my time on this planet.
Universe, you're interesting with these random encounters from time to time with Elliot these days...it's excruciating on my heart...he's a complete dickbag that deserves to die miserable and alone. I hope his mother is doing well though, I pray and send my energies and protection her way from time to time.
The harsh reality is though, Ed, like Elliot, is gone. That timeline of my life has ended, he chose that for me, for us. And that breaks my heart in a million ways because he promised, neigh he swore to me, that he'd never do this to me....and yet here we are. God, I really can't believe shit men say anymore. I'm better off alone.
I purged my phone last week, with hopes that it would speed it up especially with texting people.
I didn't have the heart to transfer off any photos/videos with him.
All I can think about is our first technical date outside of New Years...sharing a love of art...I can never go back to the Salvador Dali Museum and view things the same way. I can't go to any of my usual places or places I have been, because the ghosts that linger there are far too hard to remember again, and the photos make it harder.
But I hold on to it all, because my love is real, and that matters to me at least. Fuck what they think or feel, obviously.
They're the fools that walked away and continue to stupidly stay away. IT IS THEIR LOSS. But I'm not going to sit here and be broken or jaded, because I know they're not doing the same.
FUCK ALL OF IT AND FUCK THEM.
I need to keep moving forward. But the nights are still so hard.
I hate that I miss him and that all I want to do is cuddle up to him at 2 in the morning after I've been up all night doing schoolwork. I miss that so much. I miss him and I miss Gryffin.
I'll never understand why the Universe wanted things this way for me.
He was the guy version of me. My better half. My happiness and my laughter. My person. I've literally never been so comfortable and weird and vulnerable with anyone before...he was just so easy. He was my peace.
Now I'm back at war with myself. Alone with myself. And I'm not really complaining...just wish I could be alone with him still.
If I could go back to our trip to the Grand Canyon, or to up north...if I could get more time back, get another conversation with him...would I be satisfied with my current timeline? IDK, but I'd get to see him again, hear him again, and that in itself is worth a lot to me.
I might have lost my Van Gogh, but I still have my daughter who is just as talented, and who I call my little Picasso.
God, I hate that he's missing out on her and her growing up now and all the awesome things she's doing. I hate that he's chosen this for us, but there's nothing I can do. He's not in love with me anymore, and it's been firmly made clear that's never going to change.
So, I have to keep moving forward.
And if he ever creeps, I hope it kills him, or at least eats at his heart a little because she is amazing and I'm amazing and this all fucking suck and he sucks but not really but yeah, he does. ha-ha.
Okay, I've got to get back to my schoolwork.
Goodnight Tumblr. <3
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I feel so much guilt over my sexual feelings... I don't know where the line is. I think being in such a sex negative environment where there is so much focus on sexual violence and male depravity makes it hard for me to not feel naseous about sex sometimes. I've never really learned how to have my own sexual imagination. I feel like it's broken and I want to have one but sometimes the guidance helps. The porn industry sucks but I used it for a while... I struggled with stopping but I felt guilty knowing that I don't know what situation these people are in and that they are so exploited within the industry. I did eventually stop. But I still read fanfiction.
I was kind of a fujo honestly. I think I liked to dissociate from myself. Like I didn't want to project onto any female character in m/f. And I didnt like the way they were often portrayed in f/f. Less real and more childlike and feminine. And I guess just because I was into m/m... and it was available. I didn't want to fetishize gay men, but the fics I read weren't fetishizing they were really humanizing in my opinion. It's just not the same... I didn't like the girls that would treat real life gay men like they were characters they could toy around with and ship with people and treat like a stereotype. It made me really angry to see a few of the girls treat my gay male friend like that.
I'm not really into that now... I'm not fully sure I know why. I think I have some sort of aversion to male genitalia now, but I clearly wasn't like that before... I think I've always had an aversion to the idea of male genitalia inside me. Maybe that's why I wanted to dissociate from it. And maybe I did actually project onto a character to some extent, but moreso the top... Does that make me an autoandrophile? Does seeing myself as a guy that has a dick and does the fucking turn me on? Maybe... All I can say is I certainly have the thrust instinct, and I've never liked to put anything inside of me. Maybe that's not too abnormal...
I mostly read f/f fanfiction now. Or also... t4t m/m. Which I also feel guilty about because I feel like a chaser. Like I'm fetishizing them when in real life they would hate me. But idk :/ it's the best way I can find masc female characters and good lesbian sex. And maybe also having a crush on that one detrans blogger (or... multiple honestly) made me start thinking about the bottom growth and... idk. I feel bad about it again but... I find it appealing.
In reality tho I just couldn't be with anyone that couldn't accept their female body... Or that would try to cancel me for thinking kids that hate their bodies should go to therapy and learn techniques for self acceptance... that it's wrong and unhealthy to let them transition especially before they finish puberty... Not that it matters what either of us thinks. The idea of it now, that I have to have a politically correct and pure stance on everything and so does my partner when we're just two people with barely any effect on politics anyways... I just can't imagine going back to that modern social justice mindset. It just doesn't really matter. What matters is how we treat people, ultimately. I don't need to agree with a partner but we have to be able to respect each other. And to be able to talk about our views and ideas to some extent... To have shared values.
But now I have had a real life experience with a real life masc lesbian... which I didn't think was possible for me, but it happened and I sometimes think I made it up. It wouldn't have happened if she weren't assertive enough for the both of us. She's so confident. I told her that. I said to her, "you're so fucking hot and you know it."
It felt special. But it hurt, because I knew that I was less special to her. Because she had already been with so many women and we had just met. I feel weird saying that like I'm some podcast bro that cares about body count, but it actually does matter on some level... Because I could just be another notch on the bed post for her but she was my first, and probably only for a long time going forward. Maybe that's why I didn't let her fuck me back. Or maybe I'm actually stone. Maybe I really am meant to give and not meant to receive. Maybe I could find someone that doesn't expect me to...
She's also kind of fucked up. Like sadistic. I would feel better about it if she also thought it was fucked up. She told me that she once held a knife against a girl while she fucked her. She also bit me really hard. And probably wanted to hit me, but I wouldn't talk about it first so she didn't. I don't want that. I don't want to feel hurt, I want to feel loved... I don't like it being called vanilla... I just want passionate and loving sex.
We had passionate and loving sex. She felt so good. The feel of her body and the sound of her moaning. The wetness inside her. Getting lost in kissing her. Kissing down her neck and sucking on her breast. The repetitive motion of my fingers going in and out of her. God, it was really really good. She was amazing. I didn't know what I was doing really. She told me I fucked her really good but I was scared that I didn't. That she was just saying that. And the moment after, after she has orgasmed, when we just laid on top of each other on the bed, limbs intertwined, embracing... the intimacy of that moment. Like nothing I've ever felt and now I feel so starved of it. I fucked her again the next morning.
I got really obsessed with her. I thought about her constantly. I got really excited because she acted like we were gonna be together for real. And then on our next date things were weird. I was weirdly attached and self conscious and insecure and she was aloof like it didnt really affect her either way. Like nothing had happened. Which made it worse for me. And then she changed her mind over text and said it wasn't gonna work out. And I sobbed. And got angry.
And then she texted me again and I gave her a second chance and it was basically the same thing over again. I fucked her twice in one night and some time after we parted she decided we couldnt be together. And the third time when she texted me and needed me to come over and said we would talk, I wouldn't let her turn it sexual. And I got upset because I felt like this was a pattern and also that maybe I didn't want to fuck her every time I saw her. That she was way more sexual than me and she was also pressuring me after I said I didn't want to. I felt like I wouldn't be able to keep up with her but I also felt so misunderstood. And replaceable. Like I could be anyone... because she was projecting something onto me without really knowing me.
My coworker said I got love bombed. I don't think it was intentional, I think she's just kind of fucked up. She has trauma. You know. But... it's still unfair that she treated me this way. I know I come off as emotionally unstable but I can take care of myself... She really shouldn't have talked up the idea of a future together so soon. And I knew that at the time, no matter how much I wanted it. Even when I let myself get hopeful. I knew it was too soon.
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I suppose it's a year ( or two) ago... I was using a fortune telling app, where it generates a personalized reading. It's actually accurate but it became weird when the individual that composing a personalized readings in my account started to respond through his own readings too, at first i just leave my feedback at times it's repetitive thou. Until i leaved a comment so i would know if the app really answered by a real person ( not an AI). I searched the creator of the app but i guess they kept the infos secret and limited for privacy and the only way that i could get to know the person is by leaving a comment every readings ( it's free but you need to watch an ad to avail it and it has a limit per day so)
I remember that the fortune telling app catches my attention because on how they compose the reading, the words and grammar at well thought and you can conclude through the readings that a person is somewhat knowledgeable.
So, i leaved a comment where i said that, i'm actually interested in which area of spiritually does he interested in and which kind of philosophy that he's inclined with ( this is not an exact words of mine but i do believe this is what my message meant to convey )....
I learnt about the individual bit by bit, the words and chosen metaphors were actually decent and at times not comprehendable for those who only loves to read and entertain things in surface level.
The readings were actually well IN THE PAST THAT TIME, until i noticed that the readings were became tricky it's been addressed to me but the things weren't my situation, sometimes there are negative connotations and traits that the seer suggests that " i have " but in reality it's not me, as if someone's creating a bad conclusion of who i am and at times bad traits of someone and is adressed towards me as " who i am".
Up until i received one of the daily short fortune telling of that app. In that composed message, he stated that he believed in a abstract thinking called " constructivism" ( in here it became haywire 🤣 because when i searched and contemplate the meaning of that word it's different like he just took the word but he gave another whole meaning of it) He said along the lines like : at the end of the day we don't really know what's right and wrong so, were free to believe what we want to believe and say.
In here i just noticed the more that i used the app, the readings became crooked, from what he understand, he use the freedom as not knowing what's right and wrong and made a whole another reality were wrong things are actually " Good" and nice and kind people are " naive" and the real evil in this world.
He even sent me a fortune telling forecast that my real love is at the top of the tikalon temple and i deserve to be there, ( if you understood well...) i became so pissed off rather than scared and i answered the reading in aggressive manner because it's a lowkey connotation of " You should die and killed "
I also noticed the theme of the app, has it's blood moon/ red moonphase, at first look i thought about it, ( i honestly hate bloody red and black idk ) and i searched what it means, it says that it can be a moon phase were ( worshippers of dark forces are associated with ). I stopped using the app. But i still seeing signs in regards to the owner behind it and to the karmic female that he associated with. They also have a secret connection and affair, the man is highly lustful and his culture is open for bigamy. I also noticed that he can manipulate the signs and cloak his energy to make it feel and seem genuine messages from the divine, that if you're not keen enough to identify, you'll be deceived by him.
I don't personally knew the person, but since my gifts were strong and i'm always supported and protected, i can identify what's from the dark forces and what isn't. They gave me a couple of warnings, but i needed to know what he's all about it's highly dangerous several pentagrams that can be used for devil rituals were showing up from time to time when i was dealing with this person, my guides fought this person. I risk my energy a little bit that time, because if i didn't done that, i wouldn't be able to know his energy , he's a con artist.
God is real and so are the Devil.
Always pray for you and your loved ones safety.
They will always want Angel wings because they burnt their own.
I was thinking on how to process my typing because it's a long story lololol it's really long 😂. Imma gonna leave it there maybe someone needs this.
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Volunteering: (Ohtani x Reader) <333 (Part - 2)
part 1!
plot: Wednesday’s game arrives which Ohtani invited you to, some bonding time before the first pitch <3 slowwwburn, long cause idk details are fun lol
Wednesday quickly arrived, made much faster by the crazy amount of work you were required to do for your ‘actual’ job. The last three days had been spent with you running around the LA area, as well as cyberspace, to serve your role as interpreter. It was hell, for more reasons than one. The biggest of all being that even though you were not in Japan at the moment, you were still required to wear a proper suit. That meant a tight navy skirt, stockings, and some blasted heels. Sexist men, long meetings, and endless paperwork aside, you enjoyed your job for the most part - but this aspect really wore on you. However, the pain in your feet wouldn't damper your excitement for tonight’s game. Today you were not actually volunteering at the Angels stadium.
The day before yesterday, when you were actually volunteering, a bashful Ohtani had tapped you on the back while you were picking up baseballs from the batting cages. When you turned around the giant man was holding out a lanyard with an attached document, marked ‘VIP Guest of Player’. It took all you had not to let your hands shake with nerves as you reached out and grabbed it gingerly.
“Uh, see you on Wednesday.” The man looked to the side awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.
“...Yeah.” You responded with a small smile, feeling stupid, but it was all you could think of.
“Well, uh, I better go...” He motioned behind his back with a lazy thumb, staring to jog backward.
You nodded quickly, rushing to go back to picking up balls before you said something super lame, or weird.
It wasn’t till you were on the way home did you take a look at the back of the stadium pass. It read ‘Guest of Shohei Ohtani’. So he had put in the request for you, that was just like him, so kind. It would be an understatement to say you weren’t excited for tomorrow.
-----
Currently, your heart was still racing, but for another reason other than a certain super cute and insanely talented baseball player. It was because it was almost three-thirty in the afternoon and you were running around your company-provided apartment, trying to get ready as fast as you could. Ippei let you know you should get there around four-thirty, by then the team would have been done warming up and starting to enjoy a pregame meal while the away team got the field to themselves. From that point onwards, pretty much everyone was free to relax in the clubhouse till just before the first pitch.
With little time to consider, not even enough time to take a shower after having just got off work, you went with an oversized red T-shirt, baggy jeans, and some cool Jordan’s. This was your go-to, and it was comfortable. You don’t have many clothes anyway, living out of a suitcase.
Right as you were about to run out of the door you remembered to grab your standard Angels cap, it had been provided to you as part of your volunteer uniform a while back, slipping it on over your tight work bun. You would let your hair down later.
All right, everything was in order, Uber scheduled, lanyard secured.
It took about half an hour to arrive at the stadium, and once it came into view, you instructed the driver to let you out in front of the ballpark entrance. It had been a long time since you got to go through the gates as a member of the audience, it actually gave you a wave of nostalgia seeing everyone in their gear, so hyped up for the game, tailing gating outside for what was probably hours.
Once you were through, you started walking through the concession stands and various other stalls, dodging around the fans that were already inside watching the warm-ups, as well as hanging out drinking and eating. There were pictures of Ohtani everywhere, people taking turns snapping pictures of each other in front of the various cutouts of him. The air was buzzing with energy, and it seemed like all for that guy. Honestly, you had worked for a couple different teams over the years, but you had never seen hype like this. It was surreal, seeing a legend in the making.
You smiled, gripping the lanyard around your neck, making your way through the stadium. Shohei was super nice to do this for you, really, you should show him your support. Maybe a quick peek in the team store would do? Plus, you deserved to spend some money on yourself. After all, this was the first time you had really been ‘out’ in the almost three months you had been in California. Your free time was either working, volunteering, video games, or sleep.
You took a couple moments in the Angel's merch shop, quietly perusing the aisles, keeping an eye out for any Ohtani-themed items. Unfortunately, there weren’t really that many, probably sold out by the fans. What was there, was way too small for you.
“Y/n, you here to watch the game?” A young voice sounded.
When you turned to see who addressed you, a familiar girl was standing there grinning.
“Hey Jordan! I didn’t know you were working tonight.” You grinned back.
Jordan worked at the store as a stock manager, she was close in age to you so the two of you often hung out. You had invited her over a couple times, both bonding over your love for crappy reality TV, beer, and of course, baseball.
“Yeah it was last minute, a girl was feeling sick and there wasn’t anyone else cept’ me.” She sighed.
“Bummer, text me if you need help?” You offered, to which she waved you off.
“Nah, you enjoy being here and NOT working.” She chuckled, walking over to organize a messy shelf.
“So, you looking for something in particular?” The girl glanced over her shoulder.
“Uh yeah, you recommend any cool Ohtani stuff? Or is there any at all... seems wiped clean in here.” You said while looking around.
“Ohtani? You here to cheer him on too then. Wanna catch his eye.” She teased.
“Don’t say it like I’m just here for my like, prince charming.” You snapped back playfully, but, maybe a little too fast.
“Aren’t you?” She pressed with an eyebrow.
“Okay, I’m leaving.” You pouted, fake walking away.
“I’m just kidding, actually, stay here for a second I might have something you’ll like.” Jordan yelled as she jogged off to the back room behind the counters.
You did as you were told and when she came back there was a large white Angels jersey in her hands.
“Ta-da!” She grinned, twisting it around to show the player’s name on the back.
“Oh, it’s in Kanji? That’s cool, I didn’t know these existed?” You questioned, running your finger over the ‘tani’ character of Ohtani.
“It’s the last one on the floor, had to grab it off the mannequin. Hope it’s not too big? It’s XL?” She questioned, passing it to you to hold.
“Nah it’s perfect, can’t you tell.” You joked holding the jersey next to you, while you showed off your oversized clothes.
“Figured it'd be fine, wanna get rung up? I’ll give you that ‘good good’ employee discount. But, don’t tell anyone.” She smiled, heading to the register, to which you nodded and jogged after her.
After you finished your purchase and waved bye to Jordan, it was time to head to the clubhouse. It was around five, so you were later than you planned but Shohei usually practiced batting in the cages a little while longer while everyone headed in. Slipping the plastic shopping bag into your purse, and ripping the tags off your new jersey, you slipped it on over your T-shirt, smoothing out the material as best you could. It felt great to finally have some real merch from the team, and part of you sort of wondered what Ohtani would think when he saw you. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much to just show up in his gear after he pretty much randomly invited you, let alone in the stadium-specific one, as you just learned from your colleague.
After you got to an employee-only doorway, you pushed on it hoping it was actually open. Ippei had also let you know via text that it would be unlocked for you. Another kindness of Shohei, not just inviting you, but making sure you had access to all the catering and AC inside the resisted area of the building. You slipped in and locked the door behind you, not wanting to encourage some intoxicated fans to follow. The hallway was empty and cool as you started making your way to the clubhouse.
You were admittedly a bit nervous by the time you got to the doors, feeling a bit awkward about strutting in as anyone other than a volunteer for the first time. Carefully you pushed open the door, making sure not to hit anybody. The room was full of chatter, some players eating, some playing cards, others watching TV on the room's monitors. You looked around for Ohtani, but he wasn’t there yet apparently. No matter, you strolled in and went for the snack area. Truthfully you hadn’t eaten since that morning, and that was just a toasted bagel. Turning your back to the rest of the room, you began filling up your plate with cocktail shrimp and grapes.
“Nice jersey.” Ippei said, coming up next to you, grabbing small sandwiches for his plate.
“Is that sarcastic?” You questioned with a smile, finishing your plate.
“Nah, I’m sure he likes it.” Ippei jerked his head to the left.
He? You leaned back to see around the man, meeting Shohei’s surprised face almost immediately. Had he been standing there the whole time? He had obviously been staring at your back, at his name, bashfully looking up to your face when you moved, blinking a couple times to clear his eyes.
“I uh, got it ten minutes ago.” You grinned awkwardly, pointing your thumb proudly at the jersey, hoping he wouldn’t think you were a weirdo.
The large player didn’t say anything, blinking more slowly this time before opting to just nod gently, with a quick “thanks for your support”, hurriedly leaning forward to start filling his plate with all kinds of foods.
—-
Once everyone had their food the three of you found a place to sit while you ate, it was at the back of the room away from the noise, and where the two usually sat before a game anyways. A small conversation started while the three of you ate calmly.
“Why... do you only have grapes, and shrimp?” Ohtani questioned suddenly, looking at your plate baffled. You looked down at it as well, pausing for a moment trying to find out what was so weird about that.
“Uh, well, it’s because... these things are... super expensive in Tokyo. It’s like a rich person food to me.” You smiled, eating a couple shrimps happily.
“Wow. That’s so sad.” Ippei chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.
Shohei on the other hand burst out laughing at your response, making you laugh a bit too at your pitiful confession.
“Seriously, I feel like a mega-rich, and very posh, Ginza lady right now - eating nothing but shrimp and fruit. So fancy right? ” You exclaimed, popping a grape in your mouth.
The Japanese player laughed even harder, tears building up as he wiped his eyes.
“Those people wouldn’t touch that stuff with a three-meter stick.” Ippei stated, letting out a small laugh.
“Just let me have my moment.” You pouted through a smile, shoving more shrimp in your mouth.
The other man calmed down finally and was now sitting there smiling while he ate.
“So, fancy y/n, are you okay to sit in the dugout tonight. Not too unrefined for you?” Ippei questioned with a smirk.
“That’s, allowed?” You asked, surprised.
“Yeah, if you want to. Can’t stay there the whole time, but.” The man responded nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.
“It’s the best place to hear, ‘the surprise’.” Shohei added, food in the process of being shoved in his mouth.
“Well, doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.” You smiled at the player, who nodded in acknowledgment.
“He’s batting first tonight, you won’t have to wait long.” Ippei spoke, starting on the next sandwich.
“Hope me being in there won’t be bad luck.” You joked.
“You believe in that?” Ippei smirked.
“My family ingrained it into me, wasn’t allowed to watch a single super bowl game in the living room till I literally moved out.” You frowned, stabbing a grape.
“Harsh.” The man smirked with a small laugh under his breath.
“You will be good luck, for sure.” Shohei leaned forward in a hunch to take another bite of food, smiling sincerely at you as he looked up from his food.
“Then, I will see to it that will become a very good omen. Please believe in me.” You responded in the highest form of keigo you knew, bowing rigidly from your seat for comedic effect. Since you never studied that level of grammar, it was really freaking bad, causing the two men to laugh again.
“You’re funny.” Ippei chuckled.
“Yeah, and your Japanese is so good though?” Shohei exclaimed, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.
“Nah it’s pretty bad, I fell off the study wagon a long time ago.” You laughed awkwardly, waving a hand in front of your face.
“You’d be there forever if you stayed on.” Ippei chuckled again, while Shohei nodded in sullen agreement.
“Writing would be nice though, having to look up every other kanji at the doctor's office, or like city hall makes me literally sweat, like, a lot. Buckets. But when I look around, I'm the only one.” You giggled.
“You’re so honest.” Shohei chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin, still leaning forward in his chair, you grinned back at him. Your eyes locked for a while, you had never noticed, but his eyelashes were sort of long.
At that moment Ippei had to take a call, letting the two of you know he’d be back in a bit, walking off. The two of you looked away and finished eating in silence.
When you looked up from your empty plate, the large player was now staring at you with a soft expression. The warmth in his eyes made you blush, he didn’t even break his gaze once he was caught like he usually did. You responded back to him simply with a shy smile, before being the one to avert your own eyes to the floor again.
Thankfully at that moment, a group of Angels came over, slapping the Japanese man on the back, starting up a conversion. They were going over strategies for the game and overall just getting hyped up. You didn’t have much to input, so you just kind of sat there enjoying the excited chatter. Shohei smiled merrily the whole time, inserting little jokes, completely affected by their excitement. The way he carried himself really reminded you that the essence of baseball was really just about having fun with your teammates and giving it your all. He looked simply happy to be there, and it made you smile too, just watching him goof off. It was charming to see his duality of being a just big kid with endless laugher, versus the super-serious, and seasoned player he was on the mound.
You were really trying hard not to but, you were rapidly developing feelings for Shohei. The last three months of volunteering here, you of course thought he was really cute and kind, classic boyfriend material. A simple crush, like many of the girls working around him, surely had as well. However the possibility of you two actually dating had always been a foreign concept, one which stopped you from even considering it, at all, you just didn’t know if you even could. With you both traveling for work, how would there be time? Plus, what about the media? His family? Yours? All those things seemed unscalable walls, that is, until this moment, when you could feel his gentle eyes on you once again.
Maybe, there was something? Or maybe, he was just a super nice guy, and you were treated no different than anyone else.
When you snapped out of your thoughts, Shohei was starting to stand up, grabbing everyone’s empties plates. He reached his hand towards you, asking for the one in your hand with a tiny nod of his head, to which you thanked him, stood up, and handed it over.
Well.
Either way, you were so screwed.
-------
Hope you enjoyed! <3
#大谷 翔平#ohtani shohei#shohei ohtani#ohtani shohei imagines#shohei ohtani imagines#ohtani imagines#ohtani x reader#ohtani#ohtani angels
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tbh after covid i started remembering how shitty the world can rlly be and seeing everyone seemingly stop caring about the lives of others and realizing that we truly are the same human beings that have done torture and world wars and stuff and i feel like its really hard to keep trying to find the goodness in people. but reading ur blog gives me hope that there are still people out there who are gentle and kind or at least well meaning. idk ik that sounds privileged but i think this was my first personal experience w mass tragedy and i didn't realize that you dont rly genuinely know what it's like until you experience it
honestly i don't blame you at all LOL like i basically had the same experience and i think a lot of ppl did, esp young ppl. it was just like idk. the suspicion we had our whole lives that we're surrounded and governed by unempathetic assholes at best and downright heartless lunatics at worst was confirmed in 24K for 2+ yrs straight while the death toll climbed and that was that. it was and is really disillusioning. of course it's privileged to say that, but it's also simply the truth for many. there are tons of nuance-adding factors to covid and the way ppl responded to it but a lot of the behaviour has been straight up fucking unhinged, and just so beyond ignorant lmfao in such a universal way too. nobody has any conception of anyone or anything mattering outside of their own bubble, including me to an extent obviously. it's just jarring as fuck to think we live in that every single day, so cognitively dissociated from it to get by. it's awful, and i agree that it echoes the cruelty of the past in a really uncomfortable way :( the capacity for human maliciousness is truly something else.
anyway, all that to say, it definitely doesn't mean there isn't kindness out there, and in abundance too, it's just a difficult and weird world at the same time. so many conflicting realities all occurring at once, sense is bound to be scarce. thank u lovely!! <3 im beyond glad my blog can give you a bit of comfort while we're living through what seems to be an increasingly ridiculous joke. it does the same for me tbh half the reason i believe in Anything is because of random girl bloggers online. anyway it might be like getting blood out of a stone LOL but i genuinely believe in u. and i think the people we come across are sometimes well meaning, we're just all kind of alienated from one and other too. and i think u can and will find the support system you deserve with time, for real. maybe it's just more of a weeding out the bad sort of process, rather than being able to trust and believe in everyone and everything with freedom, sadly. sending u a lot of love! i know it's hard. don't doom scroll/stay stuck watching the news if you can help it, it just makes things feel heavier for no material change in return for that pain. mwah x
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wait I don't know how much you are actually interested in this but i've been thinking about dh lawrence cause I just finished reading lady chatterley's lover and uh. there's a weird implication in that book that the main character is a "real" "natural" woman cause she can orgasm from heterosexual penetrative sex. Like the love interest goes on a whole tirade about how he hates lesbians and women who don't come from p in v sex cause it's "unnatural" and it's like. not even refuted narratively or by the main character. idk I thought the book was really good in some places but THAT. kind of ruined it for me!!! The recent movie version kind of tries to fix that by showing cunnilingus which is NOT in the book and which I honestly feel like the book version gamekeeper lover would also think is unnatural and too much like lesbian sex lmaooooo it's so weird and makes me skeptical about lawrence
very Sally Rooney coded of him :) jk. I actually looked into his sexism/misogyny after reading that questionable essay about the Scarlet Letter in order to verify that No He Did Mean That, and his focus on the p*nis and penetration came up frequently in articles on the topic. It's honestly kind of bizarre and you are very valid for being taken aback by that part of the book (considering it IS so much about sex). Sex scenes in literature are a super interesting topic anyway because they do often say a lot about a romantic dynamic or one of the characters involved, but there are certain authors who have insanely repetitive sex scenes that are very "heteronormative" (= focused on the man's desire) and it's just strange to read about very different characters all engaging in the same sex practices? Murakami obviously comes to mind because the man does NOT ever let a female character c*m, but as weird as it is this usually is addressed in the novel and is part of a larger ~plot point~. (Still sucks and annoys me though. give me a character who can't get it up for once.) Sally Rooney on the other hand frequently features bisexual characters in her writing and while there are bisexuals who like traditional gender roles during sex, many of us also. Do Not. and it is lame that this is not taken into account when she writes sex scenes. like good for all the Sally girls that they are able to c*m from penetration alone but that's not reality! give me a bit of diversity! spice up the gender roles! ugh
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IDK if you're still taking requests or not, but the latest fix on D. Wayne was 😍🥰. For part 2 can you add the prompts 11 from fluff, 6 from angst and 20 from neutral pretty please?🥺🥺
Pairing: Damian Wayne x fem!reader (age 16ish)
Prompts: Prompt list ☁︎11- “Hey hey hey, it’s ok i’m here. It’s just me ok, you’re safe.” ᜊ6- “I don’t care about you anymore.” “i’m starting to think you never did.” ⚛︎20-“Please be quite, i can’t even hear myself losing my will to live.”
Summary: After the fight you had with Damian things have been tense but sometimes bottling up your emotions only make things worse (i can’t do summary’s to save my life) enemies-to-lovers because i’m a sucker for that shit
Warnings: Blood, swearing, kinda character death i guess, Damian being a dick as always, angsty teens being angsty teens
A/n: this is a part 2 but you can find part 1 here once again this took waaaay to long to write literally i could not figure out what to do but whatever because i did it and i’m proud of myself for it (Masterlist)
Word count: 3k jeez these are getting longer
Tag list: @battlenix @pleasestophoney wow look at that multiple tags
Part 1
Love and War pt2
Spending spring break in Wayne manor had its ups and downs. Ups included a huge library in the south wing, delicious homemade meals every day, and the best water pressure you’d ever experienced. The downs included 8 hours of training daily, getting lost while trying to find a bathroom, and having to spend way too much time with your arch enemy.
Technically he's not your enemy. At least he’s not supposed to be. After the fight you had last week you couldn’t be sure. You’d had fights with Damian before but this felt different. Usually after a fight he'd sulk for a few hours but then it would go back to normal, but this time it didn’t go back to normal. Damian had been avoiding you for almost 8 days.
You knew the fight ended too soon and you both had more to say but if he was going to act like a child and ignore you then you weren't going to stop him. You still had to patrol with him but it was considerably quieter. The manor was big enough for the both of you and after a few days you'd figured out his schedule and how to get around him. Tim let you train with him, so as long as you stayed on your side of the gym and Damian stayed on his you didn't have to interact with him at all.
It wasn't until the 4th day of break that you had to talk to him. Bruce had to go meet with the league for the day so training ended early. You had a couple hours before dinner and decided reading would be the best use of that time. You walked down one of the many hallways lazily dragging your hand along the wall until you reached a door. You couldn't remember exactly where you were but you were about 75% sure there was a couch in this room, so you pushed the door open.
Inside you found tall ceilings paired with dark wallpaper, a tall window with the thin white curtains pushed out of the way, and a couch. Actually it was three couches but after 4 days staying here you'd gotten used to the large number of furniture that was there for no reason.
The couches formed a square with the open side facing the window lined wall. The first two couches were empty but when you stepped farther inside the room you saw someone sitting on the third one. Of course the one room you picked to go into also happened to be the one room Damian was sitting in. He looked up from his sketchbook and immediately frowned.
There were two options in front of you. You could back out of the room and leave him be but then you'd be backing down from something that might not even turn into a fight which made you seem weak so really you were left with only one choice. You straighten your back and closed the door behind you, officially leaving you in a room alone with Damian for the first time since the fight. You walked over to the couch facing the windows head on and sat down on the side farthest from him. He watched you the whole time but you paid him no attention, instead you simply opened your book and began reading.
You felt his eyes leave your form and you let out a quiet breath. You heard a page turn and a pencil being dragged lightly across paper. It had been over a week but nothing seemed to be getting better between you and him. Patrols were a nightmare beforehand but now that he'd switched from constant criticism to almost no comments you found that you preferred the former.
Damian's pencil against the paper was the only sound in the room and yet the silence seemed so loud. You hated it. You hated having to avoid him all the time. You hated not being able to talk to him anymore. You hated how far away he felt even when he was right next to you. Above all you hated that you didn't hate him as much as you used to.
You never realized how much you talked to him until you didn't. It was a weird feeling to miss someone when you hadn't even known you cared about them. You honestly just wanted to apologize and let things get back to normal but as you sat there staring at your book you couldn't bring yourself to say anything.
After three to many nightmares where Damian got hurt, you finally realized how badly you needed him back. So you took a deep breath, swallowed your pride, opened your mouth, and prayed to god that something would come out.
"Look-"
"Damian-" you both spoke at the same time. "Sorry, you go first." You apologized.
"No you can go first." He replied almost nervously. That couldn't be right, he never got nervous.
"Uh I was just going to say, well i've been thinking lately,"
"You?" He asked sarcastically.
"Oh haha really funny. Will you just listen for a goddamn second." He was not making this easy. "I know we haven't been talking much ever since, well you know and uhh." You couldn't find the right way to word it. You were still too stubborn to outright apologize but you knew he would never say sorry unprompted. "You've just seemed... off, lately and if it has something to do with me-"
"It doesn't." He cut you off. "I'm not 'off' and even if I was you definitely wouldn't be the cause." His expression was blank but calculated.
"Well jeez you don't have to be so rude about it." You sneered back at him. "What were you trying to say anyway." So much for your apology.
"I've convinced father to change our partners." His voice was flat and he seemed bored with the conversation.
"You what?" You stood up. You couldn't believe he actually did that without talking to you first.
He stood up as well and was a few inches higher than you. "We don't work well together, you can't tell me you don't agree."
"I don't! We've been a great team! Remember the Penguin pen raid or Mr Freeze's death ray thingy." you exaggerated your point by waving our hands through the air. "We stopped those. Together. You can't just go around changing things without asking me first!" You were fuming.
"Sure I can! We only stopped those villains because of what I did, you just got in the way." he pointed at you.
Here we go again, the blame game. The endless cycle of 'he did this she did that'. You were so sick of it. "That's bullshit and you know it. I can hold my own on the field just as well as you can. And you know what! I don't even want to be your partner anymore."
"Neither do I! You can go play hero with someone else while I do all the real work. I never wanted you on the team in the first place!" He stared you down and if you weren't so fired up you'd probably be intimidated.
"God you're so annoying!” You threw your hands up in frustration. “You think you're so great and no one can even come close to you but in reality you're exactly like the rest of us!"
What were you doing? This wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to apologize and make things right but now here you were screaming at him again. You almost couldn't help it. Fighting him gave you a sort of rush that you craved. It was like a drug and you were addicted to the pain. You didn't want to fight him but it was the closest thing to a conversation you'd had in over a week and at this point it was enough to satisfy your need.
"I'm going to prove that i'm better than you. I'll do it on my own too!" You told him.
"Go ahead and try! You can do whatever you want because I don't care about you anymore."
You stepped back, stood as tall as you could without going on your tiptoes and took a breath. "I'm starting to think you never did." You said calmly, it seemed to catch him off guard and he didn't retaliate. You grabbed your book and turned towards the door. Dick was standing there, completely still and staring at you and Damian.
"Woah." He said awkwardly. He clearly didn't know how to handle the situation he'd just stumbled on.
You pushed past him and into the hallway. Tears were building up in the corners of your eyes so you had to move fast, the last thing you needed right now was for them to see you cry.
Damian watched you walk out before turning around and groaning. "I can't believe her," he muttered to himself. "I'm starting to think you never did. That doesn't even make sense."
"Because... you do care about her?" Dick asked. It probably wasn't the best choice of words.
Damian looked back at him with an almost offended expression. "That's ridiculous! I don't care about her, that was basically the whole point of our conversation."
"Was that a conversation? The part of that 'conversation' I saw seemed more like her yelling at you and then you... yelling back." He stated the obvious.
"That was completely her fault," Damian defended. He seemed angry but it wasn't his usual kind. Usually it was directed at someone or something and usually that thing would get acquainted with his katana but this time he was mad at himself and he couldn't understand why. "I don't care about her." He repeated quietly almost trying to remind himself more than anything.
You spent the rest of the day hiding in the guest room. You planned on staying there forever and letting yourself fade out of existence but the universe had other plans. 3 hours, 5 episodes of your favorite show, and a nest made of blankets later you got a call from Tim asking you to come to the cave.
He didn't tell you why he needed you, he just said to meet him in the lower level of the cave so when you got there you were very surprised to find him and Damian standing in the hallway. You groaned internally and considered turning around and just walking away but Tim spotted you before you could. Damian's back was to you so he didn't know who it was until he turned around and you saw his face fall.
'Nice to see you too asshole' You thought to yourself, walking over to stand near him but still keeping your distance. "What did you need?" You asked, wanting to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. You kept your eyes ahead trying not to look at Damian and you had the feeling he was doing the same.
The entire mood of the dimly lit hallway had shifted from the moment you locked eyes with him and the tension was noticeable. Tim looked between the two of you before clearing his throat and bringing the attention back to him. "I actually don't need anything."
"So then why did you call telling me to come down here?" Damian asked, clearly annoyed that Tim was wasting his time.
Tim smirked in response and opened the door before Jason, who was behind you apparently, pushed you both into the room before either of you could react. You landed on top of Damian with a grunt. Once you realized you were on top of him you felt your cheeks turn red and you stood up quickly. You could have sworn you saw the slightest bit of a blush on him but you were too preoccupied with the now locked door to think about too much.
"Ok love birds here's the deal, you're petty hormone fueled fighting is driving us crazy and now we're doing something about it." Jason told you from the other side of the small glass window. "We said you were gonna lock you in a room until you figured out how to get along and now we're following through." he smirked.
"I swear to god if you lock me in this room with him," you motioned towards Damian, "I will drop kick you into the sun."
"If you let us out now maybe I won't kill you," Damian threatened alongside you.
"Maybe if you’d learned to talk to each other like normal people you wouldn’t be here in the first place," Tim said. "We'll be back after patrol so you've got about," he looked at his watchless wrist "4ish hours. Have fun." And with that they both walked away.
"DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWA- and they're gone. Dammit." You cursed and hit the steel door which hurt a lot more than you thought it would. "Shit," You shook your hand.
"Well that was just stupid," Damian scoffed at you, taking your hand to examine it. He always did that sort of thing on patrol so you didn't pull away or even really register what he was doing.
"Oh i'm sorry, is my frustration not smart enough for you?" you sneered back. "What even is this place anyway," You looked around the small dark room, determined to not look him in the eyes.
"A containment cell for metas, we haven't used it for a while so the power blockers are probably turned off." he told you before releasing your hand. "You definitely bruised it but you'll be fine."
You reluctantly thanked him and turned back to the door to see if you could get it open somehow. "Ok so how do we get out?"
"We don't."
You flipped around, surprised to hear him give up without even trying. "You're kidding right? There's gotta be some way out of here. We're superheros, a few walls can't hold us,” you exclaimed. “Can't you use those ninja skills you're so proud of and like... kick it down, or something?" You watched him walk to the back of the small cell and sit down on the floor.
"No," he replied simply. "This room was built to hold the most dangerous people in Gotham and I don't know if you've noticed but we don't have any of our gear." He glared at you and you rolled your eyes.
"So we're just supposed to wait here until they get back? We can't just sit here all night," You tried to convince him to do... anything really.
"Well if you're so keen on getting out then let's hear your genius plan," He leaned forward with all the smugness of billionaires son, daring you to say something. "That's what I thought. Now will you please be quiet, I can't even hear myself losing my will to live."
"Fine whatever we'll just stay here in complete silence," You muttered sarcastically under your breath. Damian remained quiet as you started pacing back and forth but you could tell he was watching you.
After pacing for about 30 minutes you realized how tired you were from training so hard the past couple of days and sat down in the corner. You spent so much time over the last week worrying about Damian that you hadn't let yourself relax long enough to get any real rest. The little sleep you did manage to get mostly turned to nightmares.
At first you didn't even realize you were asleep. It all looked real enough except for the fact that you'd somehow been transported to a rooftop. You scanned your surroundings but everything was just slightly out of focus so you couldn't tell exactly where you were. When you turned around you saw him. Damian was there, and behind him was a shadowy sort of silhouette.
The shadow raised a knife and you realized what was happening. You tried to warn him, you tried to scream or yell or move but it was no use. The knife plunged into Damians back and you were helpless to stop it. You felt the pain he felt, you felt the blade slice through you. Finally you could move again but it was too late. The shadow disappeared but you didn't care about it, all you wanted to do was get to Damian. You ran forward but it was like running through water, your body moved in slow motion and you watched the blood start to pool underneath him.
Suddenly you were falling. Damian was gone, the roof was gone, everything was gone, it was just you and a black abyss trying to swallow you up. You screamed again but no noise came out, it was like all the air was being sucked from your lungs. It was silent and dark and empty nothingness until you saw a faint light. Then you heard something, your name being repeated, someone calling you and then you were pulled out of the void.
You shot up and gasped for air and frantically looked around but your eyes hadn't adjusted to the light yet. You heard a familiar soothing voice pulled you farther out of your trance.
"Hey hey hey, it's ok i'm here." The voice was calm and concerned at the same time. "It's just me ok, you're safe," Rough hands gently turned your head and the first thing you saw clearly was a pair of worried green eyes. You're breathing slowed and you're heart nearly skipped a beat.
Wrapping your arms around his chest you pulled him closer. He hesitated for a moment before folding you into his embrace. It was soft and delicate and it seemed like he was scared of holding you too tightly. Neither of you said anything else, you just sat there on the floor of a meta containment cell in each other's arms.
Time stood still and you finally admitted the truth to yourself. The real reason you hated Damian was because you loved him.
A/n: might fuck around and make a part 3 with the classic “because i love you!” confession scene
#love and war#batboys x reader#dc x reader#robin x reader#writing fanfic#damian wayne x reader#dick grayson x y/n#writing fanfiction#damian wayne#dc characters#dc writers#enemies to lovers#enemies-to-lovers#damian my poor trauma boi#damian wayne supremacy#part 2#love and war pt2#pt2
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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .
if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation
Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh
this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.
Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries
i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho
speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible
tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.
Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏
how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???
'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??
about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.
you are the only funny person on this hellsite
how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.
Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)
check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)
dick grayson but he's nicki minaj
his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......
Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol
you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link
...
why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.
Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery
ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.
i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD
THANK YOU
bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.
people tend to do it in the bathtub.
WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns
i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think
lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.
if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk
i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.
saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3
literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.
I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.
fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)
It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece
OH my god dude lmao
there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more
it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )
i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)
shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.
Wait, hear me out
Bernothy @redlightofdawn
great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname
Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?
Wait no, I regret sending that ask
these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.
crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-
WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY
Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol
she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.
Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god
lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.
Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like
send to me or lose a toe
🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋
thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/
⬆️
This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.
Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow
fanksss also lmao.
That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but
There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?
oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.
"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure
yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.
I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!
haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.
Doot doot!
noot noot
I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me
lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.
sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"
lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing
(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”
yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.
so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side
i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’
ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.
wow. the IMPACT.
Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝
this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.
Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.
May I ask where your username originates from?
yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.
yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim
no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)
How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited
fenomenal next question.
Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that
(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)
i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts
You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel
you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.
Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main
he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.
Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.
lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy
stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
oh yes it is my darling.
did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily
no he did it bc fuck the french.
im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist
okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.
your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue
i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.
suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩
sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.
Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit
yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW
Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics
clark reads smut confirmeeed
NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector
that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.
One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy
literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.
superfam and batfam associations??
-batman and superman
-dick/barabara and supergirl?
-conner and tim
-jon and damian
pls enlighten me I am confused
nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl
I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)
sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.
good human what are your pronouns?
wouldn’t you like to know?
I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes
everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont
don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily
dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants
Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.
damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo
Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨
stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!
All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet
batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.
I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this
vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.
seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go
emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet
People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.
dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME
dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet
all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise
bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves
thoughts on teen titans and young justice
haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!
ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them
log off tumblr?
Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc
huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.
I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something
fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.
lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh
unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right
why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf
idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)
There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.
all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you
is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa
no. find her as owa owa as you want.
aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:
1. tim
2. Steph
3. dick
4. Duke
5. the rest
you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED
oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs
i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.
dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.
super random but
jason 🤝 damian
old english
lmao fair enough.
tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.
yuppp lmao that��s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.
I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.
i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.
so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?
no. dunkin donuts all the way
One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker
now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.
crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown
SO CRAZY HUH?
batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink
absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.
unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator
dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.
When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution
bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.
#literally if you got through this i just respect you#this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask#i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else#ask#bataranswers#this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy#also sidenote#does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb#who cares tho latin is a dead language#big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence#here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram
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