#and his wife loves him!!

[almondcroissantsandink]

l'adorazione di Morticia Addams

[ohtendril]

colin "my wife" bridgerton almost went off

[crumplstiltskin]

demure sukuna

[vistarya]

May I have this dance, Mrs Tims?

[celestialalpacaron]

Overlord Husk AU || “Bad Guys and Good Boys” LAST PAGE (Page 3)

Okay fine I’ll have them smooch ONCE, go nuts, y’all have been very good UwU time to work on the next one TEEHEE-

Anyways I love Husk being “lol hurting you??? Why???? You’re good for me 🩷” to his male wife yes yes yes excellent WE LOVE TO SEE HIM DOTE ON HIS BELOVED BADDIE 😩😭💕💕💕

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

(any time after the events of the vengeance saga & ithaca saga)

*under the ocean in poseidon's palace*

poseidon: *talking with amphitrite*

poseidon: i wouldn't wish that upon my worse enemy!

poseidon: *pauses and feels phantom pains from his old impalement wounds/scars*

poseidon: *eye twitching* ...unless of course...we're talking about my enemy, odysseus.

poseidon: *looking up at the ocean's surface from his underwater palace*

poseidon: fuck you odysseus, you know what you did!

amphitrite: ...

amphitrite: *sighs*

*meanwhile on ithaca*

odysseus: *yapping away with penelope whilst on a walk through the palace grounds*

odysseus: so then i said "cause i don't even have to kill you, i just have to avoid yo-"

odysseus: *violently sneezes*

penelope: ...

penelope: are you feeling unwell, my love?

odysseus: no i'm fine.

odysseus: i just get the feeling im being bad-mouthed...again

odysseus: *turns head and glares at the ocean*

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

Fic Idea where Fiddleford helps Stan rebuild the portal, but Stan finds out that Fiddleford has a wife and he's like

"You have a WIFE?? That DIDN'T marry you to steal your car and money???? What are you DOING here???"

"Yeah, well.... She's better off thinking I'm dead somewhere....."

"A WIFE. That LOVES you. Get outta here and go explain yourself, Idiot!!"

"She and our son shouldn't have to deal with--"

"YOUR SON???!!?!!??"

Anyways, so Stan helps Fiddleford reach out and explain himself to his wife, but expresses that he wants to keep being in Gravity Falls, so his wife and kid go to live with them in The Shack instead.

Blah blah blah, bonding happens, Stan bags Fiddleford AND his wife and becomes a step dad, God bless 🙏

[drenched-in-sunlight]

marriage life.

[mccromy]

I picture Ming Fan as the perfect teacher's pet, not in an ass kisser way, but in a was-born-for-this kind of way. If the authority figure is a cruel sneering villain, he is a cruel little minion hunched over rubbing his hands on the corner. If the authority figure is an old man with mommydaddy vibes, he's the neighborhood's unattainable MILF's son who clearly wants the cool Martial Arts champion to be his new dad and not you, I'm going to tell mom you hit me you little shit.

Unfortunately in the last scenario his aspiring stepdad is his little shit of pseudo (martial) brother, who wrote a poem titled something that Ming Fan interpreted as "Shixiong's mom has got it going on" which thankfully flew right above Shizun's head. Ming Fan just KNOWS that if Luo Binghe asked Shizun if they could marry pretty please Shizun would sigh and accept but only because Binghe has been such a diligent and filial disciple and he deserves a reward. And Ming Fan is not unaware of how incestuous he makes it sound, but you don't live here you don't know what he's going through.

He tried to keep Luo Binghe's grubby paws away from his shimei, but he focused so much on guarding the cabbage patch he didn't see Luo Binghe sneak past and towards the farmer's house!

Thank Heavens the farmer is so far removed from mortal issues he doesn't notice the beast he collared wants to be his house wife.

So Ming Fan, instead of a little henchman, becomes an anxiety riddled teenager, seeing gold diggers hiding in every corner. Ning Ying Ying tuts and tells him he's being ridiculous, to which Luo Binghe shakes his head and says:

"No, no. I see them too."

[meltedmush]

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

Remember when Anthony Bridgerton said:

And then it turns out that this is him with his wife:

[lazylittledragon]

did somebody say dadkarios

[blackkatdraws2]

Grown men giggling and kicking their feet.... [Blank Scripts AU]

[fabuloustrash05]

"When I was a young man, I fell in love with a woman-"

"Oh, hey, is it that late?"

"Sit."

This is such a funny father and son moment between these two, and I love it way too much.

Not only with Raph trying to get out of hearing a story from his dad that he's not interesting in/in the mood to hear, but also immediately wanting out the second he realizes it's about his dad's love life.

[shotmrmiller]

there's a retired/old DS i watch on YT and he uses the phrase "If the military wanted you to have a wife, they would've assigned you one."

what if they do?

it's some new program implemented for whatever reason and you think it's one of the worst fucking ideas until your friend tells you that one gets paid a massive sum once the marriage is finalized, and you can divorce within the year no strings attached.

you'd expected a regular man with like 2 years left in his contract, not some spec ops mask wearing freak who calls you his wife within seconds of meeting you for the first time ever and mumbles something about his kids needing to be raised in england and--

?

kids?

[twistedappletree]

Lan Wangji’s transition from awkward teen afraid of his feelings to give-no-fucks 30’s after Wei Wuxian returns is truly immaculate, like the person who used to annoy the crap out of him is now hated by everyone except him and as the head of the Wei Wuxian defense squad, his argument is literally “ok but have u considered that he’s hot?”