#and his mom genuinely going through a psychotic break

[paranormal-taters]

so i just watched the Christmas episode of The Bear from season 2.

what was any of that.

[writernotwaiting]

Loki Meta Nobody Asked For, part 3--All MCU Lokis are AU fan fiction Lokis

There is so much in part 3 that I really wanted to see and I very much want to celebrate, but once again, I am conflicted.

Ok. Good things: Loki and his magic. Loki and fighting. Loki and improvisation. Loki as bisexual. Loki talking about his mother. Loki showing a moral compass.

All of these are Most Excellent Things: • Loki here is finally not a de-powered pushover. His illusions are effective. He teleports over a short distance. He resists Sylvie’s mind control. He stops a multi-ton support tower from falling and pushes it back up into place!!!! • He fights effectively--finally! Granted, his dagger misses its mark, but he was drunk, so I’ll give him a pass on that. Aside from that, he finally shows us some highly effective hand-to-hand combat skills. Thankyouverymuch for acknowledging that Loki survived a millennia of life in a warrior culture. He was raised by a warrior king. His brother is a Hero(tm). There’s no way he didn’t learn some skillz. His ineffective fighting in episode 2 can easily be attributed to the fact that he was pulling his punches when he was fighting the human shields Silvie possessed. • Loki’s character explicitly acknowledged their queerness!!!! This makes my little queer heart glow bright, and I think needs no more comment. Just . . . yesssss! • Loki loves his mom. Loki is conflicted about that relationship because They Lied To Him.  And did I mention that Loki speaks wistfully about his mother and a bit about the fact he was adopted and no one told him until he already pretty much found out (in the most awkward way ever). Even Sylvie thought that was pretty poor parenting. Good stuff. • Loki really doesn’t want to kill innocent bystanders and only attacks folks who attack him first. He is also kind of appalled to hear that the TVA workers are all variants who’ve had their minds wiped. Again, this is all excellent, and fits well with the Loki we met in Thor I who just really wanted to make sure his war-mongering brother didn’t sit on the throne until he grew up a bit, and then Everything Got Way Out of Control. • We see Smart!Loki in action, as opposed to hear Mobius flatter Loki to get him to cooperate. While one of Loki’s attempts at deception fails miserably, the other works (with Sylvie’s help). This is all excellent and made me Very Happy Indeed!

[more below the break]

I also very much liked many parts of his interactions with Sylvie, and the fact that we got a tiny bit of her backstory (and I love her insistence on her own identity--this is very much I think a Loki thing, “I am not you. I am my own thing, thank you very much”). This relationship has a great deal of potential for complexity and depth. I am totally here for enemies to frenemies to allies if that’s where the series is going.

I like the reveal that the TVA agents are all variants themselves who have been “wiped” and indoctrinated. We are finally getting more obvious hints at the insidiousness of the TVA.

So why am I still conflicted about the series? Well, here is what I did not like: • Loki’s improvisation with the old woman--he had too little information to pull off an effective scam like that and he would have known that. He had a photograph. A black and white photograph--no voice, no personality, no coloration, no body language; he didn’t even know if the picture really was one of a husband and not some other type of relation. There was no way it would ever work. He should have known that. Loki would have known that. • His voice and body language when he pretended to be a guard was stupid and unconvincing, not mimicry. That was a joke. • The getting drunk thing. I found this not only disappointing but insulting and also possibly lazy on the part of the writers. It felt completely out of character. In fact, Sylvie felt much more “Loki-ish�� in this scene than Loki did. I just cannot in any universe see Loki doing anything like this under these conditions. They are undercover in a high-pressure situation in which they are about to be wiped out of existence if they fuck things up, and Loki decides to get drunk? No. This is a virtually suicidal loss of control. They have no idea how long they would be on that train or what they would have to deal with later. They have no idea what sort of security is in place on the train. Why did they even stop in a bar, of all places? Why not find a sleeper car and stay out of the way? For that matter, why not just find seats? Why would a guard be sitting in a booth at a bar with a prisoner? They wouldn’t. Loki’s sense of self-preservation is stronger than that. He’s smarter than that. It was stupid and out of character and also unnecessary--there are so many other ways they could have gotten them shoved off that train that did not involve Loki making a spectacle of himself. It was, in fact, a very Thor thing to do, not Loki-like at all. • I still feel as though Tom is over-emoting in all of the scenes that are less than life-or-death. It does not feel like the Loki I met in Thor I and The Avengers. That Loki had a length of re-bar up his spine and only genuinely smiled when he looked at Thor (when Thor was smiling).

I feel like Tom is playing two Lokis in the show--the one that fights his way out of tight spots and occasionally deals with his difficult family issues, and the other is a parody of mischief!Loki--whose face is extremely emotive and who wants to bare his soul to whomever looks vaguely as though they’ll listen to him.

So, here’s my mid-series conclusion. All MCU Lokis are fan fiction Loki’s of the comics. Among those MCu fan fics are three distinct AUs.

1. The Loki we meet in Thor I, The Avengers, and Thor II. This Loki works hard to bury his emotions. His body language is generally stiff and prickly. He is the product of growing up in a culture that is driven by a toxic masculinity and devalues those traits that are coded “feminine” such as all of those things Loki excels at. Because of this, he has gotten the message his entire life that he is with less that the Golden Child that is Thor. He loves his brother with all his soul but resents him because his father placed them in competition with one another. All of this was reinforced by growing as the “tag-along” little brother who was tolerated but not embraced by Thor’s closest friends. This Loki becomes self-destructive and suicidal, experiencing a psychotic break as a result of revelations about his adoption and internalized racism. He spends who-knows-how-long falling through the void enduring perhaps months of sensory deprivation only to be tortured and manipulated by Thanos. He emerges from that experience Truly Fucked Up, stopped of much of his power because he’s had the living shit kicked out of him. But his core self is still there somewhere--a core self that loves his brother, that craves affection, that really hates what Asgard has done to him but still has a moral compass in there somewhere that says wiping out the entire universe is a bad thing and I guess protecting helps humans is something he ought to do since his brother loves them.

2. The Loki we meet in Ragnarok and IW. This isn’t really the same guy as Loki #1. It’s a fan fiction AU in which Loki has no trauma to deal with. He is a manipulator. But he is a manipulator because he is a survivor. He does what he has to do in order to be not dead, and if he can also have some luxury while he does it, well, that’s a bonus. Theoretically, he is a powerful mage--since he was able to overcome Odin and place him in a nursing home--but we don’t see any of that on screen. He is revered Mostly Harmless by the narrative. There is no re-bar up his ass. His body language is much more loose and emotive. His characterization has been flattened out in order to serve as a narrative foil for Thor, and will be bridged in IW to serve Thor’s character development (yet another feminization of his character). Many people really enjoyed this version of Loki. But let’s be clear, he isn’t the same Loki we met in the other three movies.

3. The TVA Loki. This Loki is a new fan fiction. A third AU. This Loki is slightly closer to Loki #1 in that his characterization is a bit more complex than Loki #2. He is smarter. He is more versatile and powerful. He has a backstory that isn’t being mocked. His queerness is not being used to villain-code him. But it would be wrong to say he’s the same Loki that we saw in the first three movies. This Loki’s trauma is all family-related, which great, at least they acknowledge that.

However, he clearly is not the PTSD!Loki that we see in TDW. They have decided (at least so far) to completely ignore what happens between Thor I and The Avengers. I’m not quite sure why it’s ok to deal with trauma when it’s Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark, but not ok when it’s Loki, but this is the decision the director made, and if I want to enjoy the show, I have to be ok with that. So that’s what I’m going to do right now. The Loki show is fan fiction. It’s an AU. And it does a pretty good job at doing that.

[sentientpaperbag]

Please explain what do you mean about Meg and raoul’s characters being messed up I don’t know anything about love never dies

Oh I’ll explain that and some shit I don’t like about the musical

Meg was like in love with Erik or something in love never dies they never really explain what’s happening there but she’s a very broken woman who ended up selling her body on multiple occasions and she becomes petty and jealous toward Christine who was literally her best friend. She literally performs a strip tease at one point. Like what? I know it’s like the vaudevillian thing but I don’t think the man who made something as raw and powerful as Don Juan triumphant would make something like that (unless he didn’t and Meg wrote the song, which is arguably worse). Her mom didn’t even know she was selling her body to men so she was horrified, and it’s very clear this scenario broke Meg.

Raoul has been reduced to an angry, gambling addicted drunk instead of the kind man who loved and genuinely cared about Christine. He’s distant toward his son even tho he doesn’t even know that the kid is erik’s

Christine and Erik have a whole song (it’s pretty unfortunately) where they talk about how like right before her wedding she went and SOUGHT ERIK OUT AND THEN THEY FUCKED. I AM NOT KIDDING IF YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG BENEATH A MOONLESS SKY THEY ARE 100% TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY FUCKED. Which goes into the fact that Erik realizes christine’s kid is also his kid and that just furthers the issue

None of the story would have happened had Erik either 1. Died like in the original story, or 2. Gotten over his Christine obsession.

First song Erik sings is a beautiful song about how he wants to hear Christine sing again and how it’s been literal years.

I could ramble for hours about why I don’t like love never dies, anon

They kinda fucked up Madame Giry too ngl she became a mega bitch and while it’s the correct term cuz he was born out of wedlock, she called christine’s ten year old son a bastard.

Christine, gustave(the child), and erik’s three workers that I can’t remember the name of were literally the only good part. Erik was a whiny bitch through most of it (he’s the one who fucking brought up how they fucked I’m not kidding it felt like a “hey remember we did this thing ten years ago👀” situation) and he immediately decides everything he worked for is gonna go to the kid which I mean yeah sure fine that makes sense

But then later when Meg goes through her psychotic break arc he fucks everything up by bringing Christine into the whole thing and Meg FUCKING SHOOTS AND KILLS CHRISTINE. YOU KNOW, HER BEST FRIEND? AND AT THIS POINT RAOUL HAS FUCKED OFF BACK TO FRANCE SO HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THAT HIS WIFE IS FUCKING DEAD. NOR DOES HE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS SON

I hate love never dies and I’m upset cuz I desperately wanted to love it. It doesn’t feel like a proper phantom sequel and I will die on this hill. Andrew Lloyd Webber should’ve chosen a better storyline for a sequel or just not made one at all.

[x-un-dia-mas-x]

The latest episode of KE sort of messed me up because I saw a lot of myself in Villanelle. It’s taken me awhile to articulate all of it. 

I knew exactly what that panic feels like when you’re about to see a narcissistic parent. I know the overwhelming dread and the desperation in wanting to escape from the situation when confronted with a narcissist, initially. The initial fight/flight reaction Villanelle displays is so instinctual, because your body perceives the narc parent as a threat, even before you mind can register what is occurring. When the narcissistic parent is around, your mind gets so wrapped up in the cognitive dissonance, dysfunction takes over. The inconsistency in the parent’s behavior overrides any sort of logic and you live in a constant state of confusion that becomes normalized. We can even see glimpses of narcissistic envy displayed from her mom in regard to Villanelle and the relationship she had with her father.

This parent can treat you like the apple of their eye in the presence of others, especially strangers, yet completely rip you apart when you’re alone with them. It can be even worse in the company of people they can manipulate and pin against you. Despite the cognitive dissonance, deep down, you can feel resentment and an uneasiness you might not be able to be decipher towards that parent. Villanelle displayed this wonderfully, every time she stated that her mother was evil but couldn’t really articulate why. But as the episode goes on, we can see that is her instincts are correct. This is especially true after we see her little brother hitting himself in the head, as he has internalized all the intense negative critiques from his mother.

The cognitive dissonance that was so brilliantly depicted in this episode, especially in the last scene on the train, I almost had a fucking break down. We see Villanelle, quite literally, have a psychotic break after she murdered her mother. It is the perfect manifestation of narcissistic abuse trauma I have ever seen on television or film. Clearly, being rejected yet again by her mother in such a humiliating manner after seemingly being accepted by her mother, caused all that resentment, agony and despair to revive in Villanelle and come back stronger than before. But in the same scene on the train, we see Villanelle clearly feeling regret, mourning her mother and more specifically, what her mother should have represented in her life SO powerfully. I think the fact that she is wearing her mother’s outfit in the train scene is very symbolic of this; she is yearning and mourning at the same time for something she’s never had and now, there is no hope left to have it.

When you have a narcissistic parent, you live in a constant internal conflict with yourself regarding that person; clearly, their behaviors should illicit a hatred, because it is abuse - they do not come from a place of genuine love and security, their behaviors are to establish power over another. But despite all of this, they are still your parent, and you, as a human being, need that sense of security and unconditional love from a parent in order to grow into an emotionally healthy, functional, independent adult. Because of this internal conflict - you don’t trust yourself, your judgement, or your perceptions regarding your parent, because you have never had a healthy space to develop that clarity. As a result of this, I think Villanelle’s internal conflict will quite literally grow larger than life for the rest of the season.

What even fucked me up more was the fact that her attractions to women made more sense logically after seeing this narcissistic mother’s behavior. Villanelle was first involved with Anna, because she embodied the female caretaker role in Villanelle’s early life. I mean, I’m not a doctor by any means, I’m not trying to diagnose her psychologically and I only speak from personal experience - but the obsessive nature of their relationship also makes me believe that Villanelle displays unhealthy psychological reliance on women who embody aspects of maternal love and a strong sense of self. This most likely stems from the fact that she has no true sense of self or identity and has been robbed of maternal love her whole life. And why does she have no sense of self? She was never able to develop a strong sense of identity, because of extreme narcissistic abuse, on top of all the other trauma she endured throughout her life.

This isn’t justifying her murderous actions as a character by any means either, most of us just go to therapy and get on just well with our lives after narc abuse. I am simply trying to convey the message that that her character development makes perfect sense from a psychological point of view. Also, BIG fucking shout out to Jodie Comer, all the writers and producers of the show who were able to capture just how insidious the repercussions of narcissistic abuse can be to an individual through television.

[kunrengui]

just sum venting, ignore :)

dont read if you have like some sort of family issues- trauma or something LOL

my family has been going through a lot of stress in these past 2 years and i feel like im in the only reason this family hasnt lost their minds yet. my dad takes out his stress by screaming at my mom, my mom takes out her stress by screaming at my (younger) brother and me, my brother is NUMB to all disappointment and im genuinely scared because my brother acts psycho and like actually full-on sobs and screams if he isnt allowed to watch vids or play video games all day or the wifi connection is weak or gets cutoff for a moment and thrashes things around but hes 10 and nobody is listening to my pleas of reducing his screen time because they cant deal with his tantrums when they try to. i feel like im losing my brother and then theres my parents who are on the verge of exploding all the time and im always on edge so im never seen scrolling on my phone or watching something kpop related because my parents are fking racist. Im always around the house doing things like getting my moms phone from the kitchen or getting my dad some water as soon as they ask me irrespective of what im doing and like if i hear my parents arguing about who is less tired to turn off the light while im the one actually sleeping i have to get up and turn off the light so my dad doesnt accidentally say something hurtful to my mom and my mom doesnt forget to make breakfast the next morning.

and like recently its been worse cuz my grandfather passed away 2-3 months ago idek it feels like forever so were staying at my grandmothers place that isnt even in the same city and i can feel my mental health deteriorating because i used to live here as a kid and i have a lot of bad memories i want to forget but here i am reliving them. anyways its 4 of us plus my grandmother so that makes 5 people sharing 2 tiny bedrooms a hall and a kitchen but the house feels like its divided into two because my dad and my grandmother dont talk to each other so they just stay on their own side and i share a bedroom with my grandmother and my brother. my brother sleeps in the middle but the bed is actually 2 twin cots with rock-hard matresses from the 1980’s awkwardly put together so the middle is uneven and uncomfortable but my parents wont let him sleep with them because he never lets anyone around him sleep peacefully (explains my eyebags) and he refuses to switch with me so now im also genuinely worried about his back. he also sometimes randomly screams at my grandmother and i glare at him and ask him to stop because its disrespectful but my grandmother screams at me instead because she is partial to him to the point where if she had to push me off a cliff to save him she’d do it in the blink of an eye and im not even exaggerating because this is a fact that everyone who knows her is aware of. shes rich and my family already knows shes going to write off her entire inheritance to my brother and idrc about the money but it hurts. like this one time my mum was talking about how she was going to preserve the land my grandmother owns so my brother can build a farm house there in the future like OKAY i get it we live in an indian society where youre just supposed to marry off the girl and give her 0 inheritance but that shit hurts lady. most of the time i even have to give up my portion of the food when my brother is suddenly in his psychotic mood where he wants other peoples stuff- my grandmother is my brother’s bodyguard, personal attendant and lawyer who’s current job is to either train me to be her successor or if I disagree then turn against me.

i cant blame anyone for the stress part tho. we werent as affected by my grandfathers death as we were by its after affect- he has a business and now my dad has to take care of that and 2 other businesses while also opening a new one and it doesnt help that all 4 require full-time attention. and in hopes of being helpful and fucking fixing this family, i promised to help with the advertising and the managing of the social media accounts of the new business. not even kidding ive been spending the last one month skipping classes saying they were either cancelled or unnecessary to work on photo and video edits for the store and promoting it. idk the last time i touched my textbooks and my parents dont know because im hiding the report cards. my limbs hurt from constantly using the stairs of the 4-floored store.

about half an hour ago my mum told me to refill all the water bottles while i was brushing my teeth and my dad loudly replied with a “Why does everyone give her all the work” out of spite for my mom. everytime he says that it makes me so mad i want to punch the wall because no matter how genuine he is, it sounds sarcastic to me because he makes no effort to help me. and it did NOT help when i lost the soft thing on my earphone 5 minutes later, making me feel like crying because my earphones are the ONLY thing keeping me sane here. the only escape from this. the only excuse i can give my mother when she asks why i didnt hear her call me in such a small house.

i just want to go home. i want my own room back. i want a pair of earphones plugged into my laptop, and i want to drown myself in Kris Wu music. i want to spread my limbs on my queen sized bed and pretend like i have all the time in the world to be bored.

i dont get why we have to go through this when were actually rich. im usually humble about it in rl but atp idec because i really dont get why we have to go through this when we can even afford a house in beverly hills or something. actually, maybe its because my parents dont have enough time or patience left to fix the bed or get a bigger house.

and then i open instagram to see people my age hanging out with their friends, having the time of their lives while im just rotting away here. the only 3 closest friends i have- one just stopped calling me after changing schools and making popular friends and the other blocked my number over some petty fight from months ago. thank the universe im still chatting with my 3rd at least.

but im okay because i tell myself im doing great. im patting myself on my back. im going to go back home at some point and im going to get myself a new pair of earphones.

im proud for staying strong. im proud for not nearing the breaking point. im proud for keeping it up for 2 whole years and im proud that i wouldnt hesitate to continue.

bless you for reading this.

[xthefxrgxttenx]

@4x0hxnxroll​ said : 🤝 + Beth & Emily

texts the other memes at 3 am: 

Neither girl really does this all too seriously, because Emily puts on a much more serious persona she wishes she had to. And Beth just isn’t funny. And if it does happen, it’s done semi-ironically, or at least so they claim, because, God, who sends each other MEMES at 3 in the morning? Which, to that end, despite not being traditionally funny, Beth is the more likely candidate between the two, especially earlier on until Emily feels able to show her dorkier/nerdier aspects to Beth. And the more Beth grows attached, the less and less ironic (and more and more frequent) the memes become. Such is the way of being a walking fucking paradox. But again, with all that sad, it’s not a hugely integral component of their friendship/relationship. And is more just a “Man, I’m fuckin’ bored, can you believe I’m looking up memes about a fuckin’ llama who kidnapped a child? Help me.’ kind of escape.

tries to convince the other to do an idea that definitely sounds questionable:

Both, but for entirely different reasons. Beth is the more unstable wildchild of the two, digging through her brother’s medicine drawer, using Chris for weed and coke, barhopping, fooling around with strangers etc. And Beth can start to have that Jess-effect on Emily as their relationship progresses, drawing her out of her more cautious bubble and giving her a chance to live a much louder and more adventurous life than she’d have if Beth wasn’t around. Emily, however, has that weird impulsive need to flirt with temptation, and will, entirely on a whim, in a random fit of courage, dare Beth to do something more intimately personal between the two. The kind of adventure that Beth would herself wouldn’t ever be able to initiate. (Like kiss her panties in the living room half naked after texting Sam to come help them.) 

is the designated driver and who always gets wasted:

This depends on the night, to be honest, and often just doesn’t happen at all. Beth can be responsible when she wants. And at times can feel almost COMPELLED to be. So if she knew Emily was gonna be off her face smashed and vulnerable, she’d definitely be a designated driver and stay sober enough to keep her safe. But then, I also kind of feel like once Emily starts to notice how weirdly repressed yet impulsive Beth truly is, she’d actually  want to be a designated driver for Beth once in a while so she can not ONLY get wasted, but also get wasted with SOMEONE WHO CARES. However, absent those exceptions, both girls are likely to just get an uber home because rich and fuck life.

always has to host the impromptu sleepover:

BETH. BETH BETH BETH BETH. BETHBETHBETH. BETHHHH. Emily’s dad is an absolute fucking cunt and while he’s more fond of Beth and Hannah on the surface than their brother, Josh, he’s still a bit of an ABSOLUTE FUCKING CUNT. Emily’s parties are therefore ALWAYS meticulously planned, to make sure her dad isn’t out and that she has MORE than enough time to safely clean up before he gets back. Beth, meanwhile... Sure, Beth’s dad might also be a bit of an absolute fucking cunt, but at least he’s an absolute fucking cunt who DOESN’T FUCKING CARE. Her parents spend more time across the national border than in their home country of Canada. Their house is often vacant, save for Josh and Hannah, who are usually always down for getting shit faced, too. Post-Game, Beth has her own little apartment she lives in that Emily could honestly move into if you needed.

who’s netflix account gets mooched off of:

Actually, in a rare turn of events, its BETH who has her account mooched off of. This is due to Emily’s dad paying for her Netflix and being a lot more strict with what he qualifies as APPROPRIATE for his should-be prodigy of a daughter. Beth’s account, however, is paid for by a dad who could literally give zero shits what Beth watches so long as she stays outta trouble. So Emily can safely watch anything she wants on Beth’s Netflix without being judged or berated by her father. (Though she sometimes has to lie to Hannah and Josh about just exactly WHO is mooching. I mean, come on, when is Beth Freakin’ Washington going to watch CELEBRITY MASTERMIND?) Post-Game, however, might be a different story... (As in, Beth kinda estranges herself from her parents and that sweet free money, and Emily might give Beth her pass and then just blame Beth when Henry wonders who the fuck watched an entire season of Sex and The City overnight.) Once Emily also gets cut off, they find the money for an account between themselves.

brings all the snacks and who supplies the movie:

Emily supplies the movie. With two very specific exceptions. Those exceptions being: 1. When its an early premier or pre-release of one of Beth’s dad’s productions. He’s a bit of a narc and LIKES to have any and all eyes he can to appreciate his psychotic masterpieces. And sometimes Beth genuinely likes some of his films and just wants to watch one once in a while. 2. If Beth is super pushy or passionate about a specific movie, Emily will cave but she won’t hide her feelings. If it’s shit she WILL bitch about it. And if it’s REALLY SHIT, she’ll pull the “I wish Jess was here” card. As for snacks... It’s typically Beth because Emily is full anorexic and unlikely to bring anything “snacky” to begin with, and Beth kind of has this weird obsession with eating with people/people watching her eat. So bringing snacks that Emily might wanna eat with her brings Beth a bizarre sense of joy.

is usually the first one to say sorry after a fight:

Beth. Though only if she genuinely sees that she was in the wrong. Both girls are pretty stubborn and guarded like that, but I do feel like Beth would break first, especially later in the relationship when she’s more obsessed. That being said, Emily also has a pretty quiet GUILTY STREAK that sparks up in game. During the pre-order bonus scene she ends up being pretty apologetic/grateful to Matt for handling her “high-maintenance” self, and she is downright terrified and blaming herself in her better Matt endings. And even if this is sometimes rooted in insecurity, I do think she’d be capable of having those moments with Beth as well, provided Beth had shown extensive enough loyalty through a lot of conflict/drama.

is the ‘ mom friend ‘:

Errrrrrr... Kind of see the bit about the designated driver. It’s kind of the same deal, honestly. Beth is repressed mom having a quiet quarter life crisis. Therefore she sometimes takes care of Emily. Emily is a repressed everything who actually does have a soft side beneath that icy fortress, and would feel bad for Beth and wanna let her be a wild child in safety. But then both are also royally fucked up and might just say fuck it all and get wasted and wake up inside each other panties on a park bench one night. That being said, Emily kind of has the encouraging mother role when it comes to Beth’s insecurities, namely her leg and her eating habits. While Beth is sort of Emily’s tough loving mother when Emily is making stupid mistakes like wanting to call Mike at two in the morning when she can’t even stand without using Beth as a crutch. So it really does just sort of depend on the situation and whether one or both of them are going through psychological bullshit at the times.

calls the other at 12 am to wish the other a happy birthday without fail:

I actually don’t know, to be honest. I feel like it would happen, and both would do it almost ritualistically after the first time, but the first time would either be: 1. Emily because she’s actually secretly super organized in life and might genuinely know certain birthdays of certain friends and just do it on impulse one day. Possibly while drunk. Probably while drunk. 2. Beth would do it out of a need to make Emily feel noticed and special once she learns about the true depths of Emily’s insecurities and need for validation and fear that no one would actually give a shit about her birthday if SHE didn’t make a big deal out of it to begin with. Which really it just depends who does it first. I don’t think either is so romantic or sappy to always do it outright. But once it IS done, if at all, then I feel they’d both do in return for the other doing it. LOYALTY & RECIPROCATION.

is the better wingman to the other:

Ummmm... Emily. Definitely Emily. It has to be Emily. Which, that isn’t to say that Emily is a GOOD wingman. It’s to say that Beth honestly COULDN’T wingman for Emily because Beth could never, ever, EVER be able to overcome her own insecurities to willingly guide attention to someone other than herself. Especially when maybe she herself has a small crush on Emily and wants to fuck her and have Emily’s attention all on HER. (It’s definitely not a SMALL crush.) Emily, meanwhile, would probably deflectively (during) or indifferently (early on) wingwoman for Beth because she’s not allowed to be gay and she spends a lot of time hung up on Mike. THAT BEING SAID: Post-Game, I genuinely don’t think Emily would be able to wingman for Beth either.

‘ the strong must protect the sweet ‘ , who’s the ‘ strong ‘ and who’s the ‘ sweet ‘:

HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?! The bitches protect each other. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. (Maybe literally.) That’s why they’re both designated drivers or moms at different times. That’s why Beth lets Emily use her netflix or stay over. That’s why Emily would at all want to take care of Beth during wild nights out. That being said, I do think, by literal definition, that Emily is physically stronger than Beth (especially post-game due to muscular dystrophy and her fucked up leg post-mine) while Beth might be sweeter than Emily. at least on the surface. But yeah, it’s again SITUATIONAL, based on whether one needs PROTECTING or one needs to be CARED FOR.

pulls the other up for karaoke to sing a duet together:

Oh. It’s Beth. Let’s be real. No fucking way does Emily do karaoke voluntarily. Meanwhile, Beth is a wildchild, as stated, and more importantly she LOVES noise -- ESPECIALLY MUSIC. Hell, it’s her FAVORITE NOISE, even. (Apart from Emily moaning. AHEM.) So Beth would absolutely drag Emily up for karaoke, even if Emily was bitching about it every frictional heel-scrape of the way. The ONLY example possible where Emily takes Beth on stage is out of SPITE. If Jess or Mike or Matt or Hannah has pissed her off sufficiently, maybe peer-pressured her into it, and Emily wants to HURT them. And depending on the specific atmosphere, Beth might just be up for being Emily’s metaphorical blade.

[blonde-n-dirty]

POV: You find out you’re pregnant, and it’s the moment you’ve waited for your entire life. You had the image in your head of how you’d tell the father & how he’d react, how you’d hug and kiss in excitement, and tell your families in the cutest way. But instead when you told him, he turned white and his blood ran cold. No excitement, no happiness, nothing. His family threatened you, your mom forces a wedding, and shockingly your toxic father is all you have. And then weeks later, life has other plans for that baby. Imagine how that destroys you, and how much you’d blame the father and his family even though logically it’s not his fault. But that time you had pregnant wasn’t spent happy and enjoying the magic your body was creating, because he wasn’t happy with you, and your magic was ruined. That moment is forever burned into the back of my mind, so every pregnancy announcement I see, I break down because I’m jealous they got what I didn’t, and they got to take that baby home. I want that. And it’s breaking me quite honestly. Every day it’s a new announcement or video online, and I break a little more inside. He had his moments of happiness though, and I remember one night at bdubbs he genuinely seemed happy, with not an ounce of fear; and I felt like things were okay. But then life ruined us. And that’s all I have to hold onto.😔

And I never got to heal from that because I just kept rolling with the punches and making things worse, and then trying to fix all I’d damaged for so long, I never got to focus on me and healing that pain and resentment. I need to fucking heal from that time in my life and all that pain. And quarantine has given me nothing but time to go through that pain and deal with it because what else is there to do but dwell on my mistakes AND my loss, anger, resentment, and bitterness. I’ve been mourning the loss of my daughter, her father, our dog, and our family. It AAALLLL hit me at once. The drugs helped numb me so I could think and not feel. And now I don’t have that so I’m just sitting in my sorrows trying to stay off social media because I don’t need anybody else’s drama added and I don’t wanna see the world falling apart, I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to do anything. Gotta do what I gotta do now to get myself out of bed and get better so I can get back to life and being happy. I wanna start trying for a baby again, but need a man and need to be happy for that so yeah fuck quarantine, but thank you quarantine for finally giving me time to grieve and mourn and go a little bit psychotic and letting me lock myself in my own psych ward so I don’t have to share a room with a cat killer again in a real one🥴 Imma be okay one day. And imma forgive them all one day.

07.21.20

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Erin and Ania are like holy fuck I can’t even. But for real Neil sees Abby as a mother figure in the book so like is it the same for Ania? Andrew too? Idek I just need to know their relationships with everyone

It’s time I map out their relationships anyways lol so thanks, love!

Let’s start with the lovely Ania 

Dan, Allison, and Ania are roommates. It’s tough after Seth’s death bc Ania has to face her all the time. Erin tells Allison her theory too so Allison is avoiding Ania so :////

Dan is essentially what Matt was to Neil. She sees Ania and her first thought is ‘baby’. She adopts her so fast. Every morning before class, she’ll pinch Ania’s cheeks and kiss her fingers, chef-style Idk man. It’s just something my mom does to me ok. Let me be soft. 

Renee rooms with Erin so Ania isn’t comfortable with her. Anyone that can spend the night in a room with that girl has to be hardcore. 

Allison also gives Ania a lot of shit about her wardrobe. At some point it starts to get to her so when the monsters head to the mall, Erin catches Ania drifting towards the girl’s section on her own. She’s high so she follows her around, prodding her about it. When Ania tells her, there’s this moment where Erin’s drug haze parts for a second. Ania could have sworn that she saw anger flashing in Erin’s eyes for half a second. She shrugs it off until Allison shows up at the dorms with a bruise on her jaw. Erin knows Ania hides her body bc scars and bc she doesn’t like men staring at her. She refuses to let Allison shame Ania into doing something she doesn’t want to. In general, Allison and Ania have a rocky relationship because Erin keeps interfering. After Christmas, the two of them end up getting along a lot better bc they bond while Allison covers Ania’s bruises with makeup. Also after Christmas, Ania and Renee trade dorms so she and Allison aren’t in constant contact. Part of their friction was due to the amount of time they spent together. A lot of things have happened to Allison this year and the fact that she constantly has to see the source of a lot of her problems makes it hard for her to heal.  

I’ve considered Fem!Nicky but I personally prefer Gay/Lesbian solidarity between him and Erin a lot better so yeah (However if you want me to run a few Fem!Nicky hcs, hmu and I’ll do it. She won’t be a part of the fem!verse but it would be fun). He’s exactly the way he is in canon. However, he is constantly trying to set Ania and Erin up and Erin? Doesn’t? Stop? Him? She’s so desperately in love with Ania that if Nicky wingmanning for her is what it takes to win her over, then she’ll take it. She also has a really dirty sense of humor. The jokes he makes fuel her late-night fantasies. 

Aaron is disgusted with Nicky and, more importantly, himself. Ania is incredibly beautiful and he’s incredibly straight. He doesn’t like her bc he’s so gone for Katelyn. That doesn’t make Ania any less pretty. He finds himself staring at her all the time but so does every other fox so he doesn’t feel bad. 

Katelyn thinks Ania is hot. She’s bi but leans heavily towards guys. It takes Aaron a long time to unlearn his homophobia but he manages it because Katelyn is bi and he couldn’t possibly hate anything about her. Once Riko is gone and Ania is safe, she starts to develop feelings. I mean, she always had feelings but now she doesn’t try to suppress them. She lets herself want to be friends with people. Katelyn happens to be at the top of her list. While the twins are with Bee at their sessions, Katelyn and Ania hang out. Sessions are only an hour/hour and a half long so the girls just grab a soda together or go window shopping in Reddin. I hc Katelyn as a genuinely sweet VSCO girl. Let me have this! Ania has a grunge/goth aesthetic because Erin buys her clothes for her but she thinks Katelyn’s clothes are cute too. Erin wants to hate the thousands of scrunchies and anklets she finds strewn across the dorm but they make Ania so happy. Once on a double date, on Bee’s insistence, Katelyn catches sight of a bubblegum pink scrunchie in Erin’s hair. It’s a stark contrast to her all-black outfit but it’s really cute. When Aaron goes to grab their drinks from the barista, Katelyn tells her so making sure to stay well out of Erin’s reach. Erin just grunts and turns to look out the window. The twins don’t blush with their whole face. Instead, their ears turn red. With Erin’s hair pulled up and out of the way, Katelyn has no trouble seeing her burning red ears. It’s progress! 

Ania spends a lot more time out at Evermore as a kid than Neil did. As a result, she was really close to Kevin and Riko. She only knew Jean for like a month before she dipped. I got a request for Fem!Jean so you’ll see Ania’s relationship with Jeanie soon. Kevin sees her as a baby sister. He and Kayleigh were actually at the hospital when Ania was born. There’s a baby photo back at Kayleigh’s old house of 3yr old Kevin carrying a newborn Ania. He’s crying rivers in it. There’s an actual video of it as well. In it, Kay asks him why he’s crying. “She’s sho shmall!” little Kevin sobs. “Can I keep her? Pleashe, mom. I’ll be nice to her and take care of her and I’ll tell her I love her all the time.” You can hear someone laughing in the background. The camera pans across the room to reveal Wymack sitting in a chair by the door, cackling

TANGENT BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT WYMACK FOR A MINUTE! So Wymack and Kay are friends with some obvious benefits. He flips his shit when Kevin is born because what if that’s his kid??? Kay is just like, I was with a lot of guys and brushes it off. She’s lying through her teeth. Wymack is the only man she’s ever loved. Tetsuji is salty and I will go into this in another post but I think that Tetsuji really hated Kevin because he was Kay’s son but not his. I absolutely believe that Tetsuji was in love with Kayleigh Day and was pissed when she had a kid. Anyway, Wymack flies out to Ireland a lot to check up on Kay and Kevin because Kay is crazy. How could the inventor of exy not be? It’s literally murder lacrosse. He goes out to make sure Kay isn’t overworking herself and bc Kev has no father figure. Kev grows up knowing Wymack and absolutely adores him. When Kay dies, Wymack wants custody of Kevin. Kay knows who the Moriyamas are and recently she and Tetsuji have been fighting a lot. She’s scared that something is going to happen to her so she writes her will and emphasizes that she wants her son sent to Wymack if she dies. Her fight with Tetsuji comes to a head and the car ‘accident’ happens. It’s not an accident. Tetsuji ordered her killed in a fit of rage. He’s devastated when it actually happens. He loved her and now she’s dead. Well, who’s fault is that, ya dumb bish? He flies out for the funeral and so does Wymack. Tetsu finds the will first and is anger. He has it burned and has Nathan forge a new one where he gets custody of Kev. It breaks Wymack’s heart bc now he thinks Kay didn’t want him around Kev. Kevin is five and he’s crying because his mom is dead and now he can’t live with Wymack. He calls Wymack Dad and Wymack can’t do anything about this. Instead, he just hugs little Kev close and tells him it’ll be okay. Wymack tells Kev that Tetsu has a niece his age. Maybe Kev and Riko can be friends. Maybe they’ll even get married. Kevin says that’s disgusting and Wymack laughs a hollow laugh. Anyway, that’s how Kev gets shipped to Evermore. Tetsu doesn’t allow Wymack near Kev bc he knows the truth. The reason why Wymack always has a sports channel on because he used to keep it on in case Kev ever showed up. He watched every one of Kev’s games and interviews and everything. Wymack doesn’t get to be there to watch Kev grown up so he just watched from a distance. I'm not crying you are. 

Wymack is a father figure to Ania and Erin. He’s there when Ania is born bc he went to visit Kay and Kev who were in Baltimore to meet baby Nathania. Kay carts him out to the hospital to meet her too. Nathan Wesninski was not in the room when his daughter was born. He doesn’t even meet her until she’s six months old. Wymack is the first man Nathania meets and she doesn’t even know. Mary didn’t want to hand Nathania over to Wymack but she and Kay are friends and she knows that he’s her baby daddy. Wymack doesn’t recognize Ania because he only knew her for a month when she was a newborn. Of course he doesn’t recognize her. However, he thinks about her a lot. She’s actually the first baby he’s ever held. He didn’t get to hold Kevin until he was two. Wymack treats Ania the same way he treats Neil but he puts in a bit of extra care bc he knows about Millport incident. 

Abby is definitely as much of a mom figure as she was to Neil. However, after she shows her her scars, Ania gets a lot closer to her. She refuses to tell her things but when Erin gets sent to Easthaven, Ania has a hard time staying at the dorms. She spends all her time at the court bc she has to. She hides in the library bc it’s the one place she wouldn’t see Erin anyways. She crashes at Abby’s a few times because there are times she can’t stand the thought of going back to the dorms without feeling the brush of Erin’s hand on the back of her neck. 

Oh. That’s a thing. Every night after midnight practice n Kev has gone to his room, Ania says goodnight to Erin. Erin will trail her hand across the back of Ania’s neck as she passes in response. It makes Ania shiver because her neck is as much of an erogenous zone as Erin’s is. Erin always watches it out of the corner of her eye bc God it’s the most amazing thing she’s ever seen. It makes her feel. Ania doesn’t really realize???? She’s so dumb. She knows it makes her feel good but she just can’t for the life of her figure out why. 

It’s time I addressed the real psycho lesbian… While Erin’s is a facade, Riko is genuinely psychotic. She’s seven types of crazy. Actually, it skews a little more yandere but I will go into depth about it in the Fem!Jean fic. Rn, I’ll try to keep it short. Riko has her first crush when she’s eight? Nine? She kisses her crush on the cheek when she’s ten and Tetsuji… doesn’t take it well to say the least. The bit about it’s easier to remain straight? It’s the thing Kevin hears Riko say to herself every morning in front of the mirror. Regardless, Riko never gets over that first crush. Riko will never not miss Nathania Wesninski. When she finds out who Ania really is? She loses it. It’s fate, she tells herself. She will have Ania or die trying. Christmas at Evermore is a thing so I mean, I guess she does have Ania :( But she wants Ania to love her. She tells Ania as much and Ania spits in her face. :)

Most of Erin’s relationships are the same except for the Matt and Renee thing I covered earlier. The only other one that changes is Kevin. I know I say this a lot, but she really thought Ania and Kev would be a thing. She says no to Kevin for everything bc she’s petty.  Kevin has always gotten everything that he wanted handed to him on a silver plate. Now he’s taking the one thing she really wants.  If he gets Ania, he can’t have anything else. Again, I’ll cover her relationship with Jean later. 

Thanks again your ask <3

Edit: I'm really tired and have a quiz tomorrow but I forgot to talk about Cleo. I'll make a separate post about her so stay tuned for that!!!

[cherylblsom]

The Definition Of Perfect - Ch.4

(A/N): I know its been forever but finally the next chap is here!! Enjoy! and don’t be mad at me oops 

Pairing: Cheryl Blossom x Toni Topaz

Word Count: 2,737

Warnings: nothing really ?

Read it on AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

**flashback**

“So you’re really telling me you think what he’s doing is romantic?” Toni scoffs, her attention focused on their flat screen Tv. 

“Toni!! He loves her”

“Okay and I love you but I don’t go around stalking your every move! It’s psychotic!!” 

“Alright… so he’s a bit possessive.”

“A bit? The man knows every detail of her day”

“Yeah but he’s doing it to protect her, don’t you think that’s a bit romantic?”

“NO!” Toni protests “Cher, he’s murdered like 3 people already”

“Solid point. But don’t think I wouldn’t go full dark stars on you if you ever left me” Cheryl turns her attention away from the Tv and towards her wife, who has her hand placed lightly over her rounded stomach. They were settled on their huge king bed watching the newest Netflix original show titled ‘You’. In essence it’s about a guy who falls hopelessly in love with a girl and attempts to control her whole life, and okay maybe he was a stalker and sort of a murderer but Cheryl still thought some of the things he did were pretty romantic. You know, if you excused all the illegal activity. 

“I would expect nothing less” Toni laughs, leaning over to kiss her wife’s head. “However, you don’t need to worry about me leaving.” 

“Oh” Cheryl gasps suddenly, her eyes widening. 

“What? You don’t believe me or-“

“No” Cheryl interrupts, she reaches for Toni’s hand and places it back on her stomach right underneath her ribcage. “The babies just moved, feel”. The two sit in complete silence and stillness, the faint sound of the credit music from the tv show is playing in the background but the pair is so focused on Cheryl’s stomach that they barley register it. Cheryl’s breath hitches right before the babies stir again and one of them kicks right at the pair’s intertwined hands. 

“Oh my god babe!!” Toni squeals, her face lighting up as she lifts her head to make eye contact with Cheryl. One of the twins kicks again, this time with more force and Cheryl grunts before letting out a soft laugh. 

“Yup that one was in the ribs” she groans, shifting her position on the bed to curl into Toni’s body. 

“Guess that one’s a fighter” Toni laughs, pressing a kiss to Cheryl’s forehead and then to her stomach. 

“Baby…” Cheryl says softly from her position on Toni’s chest, she twirls a piece of her wife’s hair between her fingers before continuing. “I can’t wait to be a mom with you” 

“I can’t wait either princess” she rubs Cheryl’s arm gently, holding her close. The room is silent for a while, only the faint sound of the wind outside can be heard rustling the trees. Toni is starting to think Cheryl fell asleep against her until she speaks quietly. 

“What if I’m not a good mom?” 

“Cher, what makes you say that?”

“I don’t know, I guess just thinking about the way I was raised. Penelope Blossom was… hardly a mother. And I never want to make our babies feel the way she or my father ever made me feel. But what if it’s just what I’ve learned and I unintentionally-“

“Shh” Toni soothes. “Breathe”

“I was cruel to a lot of people in high school…”

“Oh god, we were all a little messed up in high school lets be honest” Toni says, which earns a laugh from Cheryl.

“Okay good point”

 “It was just your coping mechanism. And Cher you’ve grown so much since then, we all have. But I understand, I get worried too that I won’t be good enough because I grew up with a warped sense of family. ”

“Of course you’ll be good enough. We create our own definition of family.”

“You and the babies are better than any family I could have dreamed of” 

“I agree, dream land used to be my safe place. But you made me see that reality can be better than any dream”

“Cher, you’re going to be such an amazing mom. We are not our parents, and if anything they’ve shown you how not to treat others. I’ve seen you grow tremendously over the years and you’ve got so much love and compassion in your heart. Please don’t be worried about turning into your parents, you’re not even close.” 

Cheryl nods in response, wiping at the tears that are streaming down her cheeks. “I’m just scared.”

“Me too, but that’s life. We’re in this together and we’ll figure it out. We got this.” 

“You’re going to be the best mom. I love you so much Toni” Cheryl lifts her head up and reaches to cup her hand around Toni’s cheek and pull her into a kiss.

“I love you too” 

-

Cheryl is gripping Toni’s hand so tightly she’s afraid it might break, many people including the doctors and Veronica had warned her about the pain but nothing could have prepared her for this. 

“Okay Cheryl, just a couple more big pushes and the first baby will be here” the doctor says from somewhere that Cheryl can’t quite place, her whole body aches from head to toe and she has no idea how she’s supposed to deliver this baby let alone the second the one. 

“You’re doing so good baby” Toni encourages from her side, she reaches out to push a stray strand of Cheryl’s hair out of her face and stroke her cheek gently. Cheryl’s scream echoes throughout the room as she gives another big push and then time seems to stop for a moment before the sound of a crying baby fills the room and Cheryl lets out a breath. 

“Your little boy is here!” The doctor says, Cheryl see’s only a small glimpse of him, just a flash of brown hair, before he’s handed over to a nurse who takes him away. 

“He’s beautiful Cher” Toni says softly, her voice breaks ever so slightly hinting at the onset of tears. 

“Alright we have to turn the other baby before you can start pushing, hold on tight Cheryl we’re almost there” the doctor informs them, she makes eye contact with Toni before giving her a slight nod. 

“Babe hey, look at me. It’s okay just focus on me” Toni says gently, attempting to soothe away the whimpers falling from her wife’s mouth. Toni leans down so she can rest her forehead against Cheryl’s and whisper softly to her. “Think of something else okay? Close your eyes and picture something else. Remember when we went on that road trip in high school? One day we can take the babies and show them all our favourite places we found during it. Remember that one hike we went on when the sun was just starting to set and then we sat near the edge of the cliff and watched the stars show up one by one? That was magical.” Toni pauses to take a breath and she feels Cheryl smile against her ever so slightly, she presses a soft kiss to Cheryl’s nose trying to keep her calm despite the pain she’s enduring. Cheryl can vaguely hear the doctor’s voice in the background, something about complications and not being able to do something. She picks up the words emergency and c-section too, which cause her eyes to fly open and lock on to Toni’s. 

“I - I don’t want…” Cheryl trails off when a wave of pain worse than any other washes over her body and it takes everything in her to breathe through it. Toni’s voice is right in her ear encouraging her and telling her it’s going to be okay. Cheryl can feel herself fading, something feels off but she desperately tries to cling to the sound of Toni’s voice.

“Keep picturing those stars babe, I’ve got you”

-

**flashback**

“Should we get the same crib? Same colour?” Cheryl questions as she checks the price tag of yet another crib. She’s starting to get out of breath from all the walking but she’s also incredibly determined to find the perfect pieces for the twins nursery. 

“I think the nursery might look best with the same colour cribs, we can always accessorize them differently” Toni pipes in, she has her hand resting on Cheryl’s back and encourages her forward slightly to sit down in one of the rocking chairs. 

“Babe, we need to pick a crib not sit down” she protests, but makes no move to stop Toni from helping her sit down. 

“Well we need a rocker too, how’s this one? Comfortable?” 

“It’s sub par. But babe? I was thinking about what else to add to the nursery and maybe we could get some of your photography framed to put up? Or maybe you could paint something on the wall”

“I love that idea Cher. You draw it I’ll paint it, okay?” Toni smiles before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to her wife’s lips, she pulls away but immediately leans back in to kiss her a second time. 

“Mom! Mom!” An excited, small voice comes from the right of the pair. “I didn’t know two girls are allowed to kiss”

“Of course they can, anyone can kiss anyone” the mom replies, she lifts her eyes from the package she’s reading and catches Toni and Cheryl just breaking apart from their kiss and her daughter staring at them wide eyed. 

“Mom can I kiss a girl one day? But not now. Kissing is yucky.”

“You can kiss whoever you want love bug” the mom replies before letting out a soft laugh. She’s just about to pull her daughter back towards her so they can continue shopping when she trots forward towards the couple.

“Excuse me miss?” The little girl says confidently. Cheryl lifts her head and notices the child, who can’t be more than 5, staring up at her.

“Hi cutie, what’s up?” Cheryl asks, she feels Toni reach over her shoulder and Cheryl reaches up to curl their fingers together. 

“Are you gonna have a baby?” The little girl is staring at Cheryl’s stomach in awe. 

“Sorry, she wandered over here before I could stop her” the mom suddenly says, walking up behind her daughter. 

“It’s totally okay!” Toni pipes in, a smile crossing her face. “She’s having two babies actually!”

“There’s TWO babies in there?” The little girl says, her mouth dropping open. Her reaction makes Toni laugh, she’s always loved how genuine and real children’s reactions to the world are.

“You bet!” Cheryl says “they’re moving around a bit right now, want to feel?” 

The little girl nods, she slowly steps closer to Cheryl and reaches her hand out. Cheryl guides it gently over her stomach and as if on cue one of the babies shifts in her stomach and kicks lightly. The little girl giggles and turns to look at her mom with a huge smile pasted on her face. 

“MOM!! You should have two more babies I think. This is cool” 

“We’ll see about that” the mom replies, rolling her eyes dramatically at the pair but in a completly non-serious way. 

“Maybe you should name one of them twilight sparkle because that’s my favourite my little pony” the girl says, turning her attention back to the pair. Her hand is still pressed to Cheryl’s stomach and she lets out a delighted laugh when the baby kicks at her hand again. 

“We’ll think about it” Toni says, laughing as the mom rolls her eyes once more. The mom congratulates Cheryl and Toni  before ushering her daughter back to the shopping cart and mouthing a thank you to the couple. They wave as the pair walk out of sight, with the little girl chattering excitedly about what just happened. Toni moves in front of Cheryl and leans down to pull her into a tight embrace and kiss the top of her head, she runs her hand over Cheryl’s rounded stomach before pulling away slowly. 

“I can’t believe soon we’re going to have two of our own little people to explore the world with, it’s going to be amazing Cher”

“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do my life with” Cheryl says with a smile. “I love you baby girl”

“I love you too beautiful”

-

Everything seems to happen at once. The doctor is mentioning something about not being able to turn the second baby and that they have to do an emergency c-section before they lose the baby or Cheryl. Toni’s heart drops at the information, she can’t bear even the thought of losing either of them. To say Cheryl is freaking out would be an understatement, she’s shifting in the squeaky hospital bed with tears streaming down her face repeating over and over again that she can’t do this. Her voice is quiet and Toni can tell she’s losing energy and fading fast. The doctor explains that they’re going to put her under anesthesia during the process but that doesn’t seem to calm the redhead down even a little bit. 

“Cheryl it’s okay, it’s okay” Toni soothes from beside her, seeing her wife like this is completely heartbreaking but she’s keeping it together for Cheryl’s sake. Her whole body is trembling and her cheeks are soaked from the tears, Toni is running her hand up and down Cheryl’s arm desperately trying to calm her down so she can catch her breath. Suddenly, what seems like a stampede of people rush in to the already cramped hospital room and Toni is pushed into the hallway by someone and assured she’ll be updated as soon as possible. She watches as they roll Cheryl past her and through the doors leading to the surgical wing. She expected to break down and cry, but all she feels right now is complete shock. 

“Toni?” She hears a familiar voice from behind her. “What’s going on?” Toni turns around slowly, Veronica is standing there with a hot cup of coffee in her hands and a look of concern painted on her face. 

“Emergency c-section. Baby in wrong position” she speaks slowly, her thoughts coming out in fragments as if she’s just now registering it in her own brain. “They wouldn’t let me go with her, they just took her away.” 

Veronica is silent, not knowing what to say in this moment. She leads Toni to a set of chairs set up down the hallway and sits her down before handing her the cup of coffee and blowing out a breathe of air. Toni sips the coffee in small, even sips. Everything right now feels like it’s in slow motion. 

“They haven’t told me anything. I don’t even know where my son is… I just want to hold him”

“Wait so one of the babies was already born?” Veronica questions, her brain finally starting to catch up with what’s happening. Toni nods in response before taking another sip of the coffee. “You’re halfway there then, it’s going to be okay”

“But she’s going to be so scared Ronnie…” Toni says, her voice breaking. She pauses, taking a moment to stare into the dark swirls of the coffee she’s holding. She looks up at Veronica before continuing. “I told her I’d be there through it all and now-”

“Toni, it’s not your fault the doctors rushed you out of the room.” Veronica interrupts. “Cheryl will understand and she’s in good hands, all you - we - can do right now is breathe and hold on for her” 

“I was trying so hard to be strong for Cheryl, I didn’t want to worry her more. But I’m so scared.” The tears that were forming behind Toni’s eyes finally start to spill over her cheeks and she lets out a sob before the tears start to fall faster. “I’m so scared” she repeats between sobs. 

When Veronica pulls her into a tight embrace she doesn’t resist, she feels her body collapse into itself and her weight falls on to the other girl’s shoulder and body. If she’s being honest it feels like her whole world is collapsing down and she’s completely out of control. There’s not a single thing she can do to fix the feeling. Veronica is soothing her quietly, trying to assure her that things will work out. So for now all Toni can do is cling to her and hope that her girls are safe and that everything will work out.

(next)

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Forget About It ~ Sweet Pea (Part 1)

A/n: Whoa I kinda died huh? Got sucked into IT for a long time. And then the Umbrella Academy happened. And then I got hit with MAJOR depression and really heavy, bad vibes from all the dark stuff and tried to get super engrossed in lighter stuff like My Babysitter’s a Vampire but then that show ended in the DUMBEST way so in desperation I’ve returned for my fluff ball of love. Prepare for emotions.

Warnings. A! N! G! S! T! Arguing. Awkwardness. Violence, threatening, Archie Andrew’s weird red circle and gun phases. Panic attack. Fear. Betrayal. Abandonment. Archie Andrews being an idiot actually-

Pairings: Sweet Pea x Female Andrews!Reader

Song: "Forget About It" by All Time Low

Word Count: 4800+

MASTERLIST

One, two, three! You, are a handful of roses, thorns in a cheap bouquet. True, I'm a walkin' disaster- they told you to stay away. Seems like I'm makin' a deal with the devil who's whispering softly to me, "Are you sure that she's the one?"

You’d think things were insane enough as it is. But, no, my brother was nothing if he wasn’t one to add on top of already existing problems. The Black Hood was out there somewhere, closing in and leaving a path of destruction in his wake. Our dad was in a bed recovering from a shot wound and I couldn’t get my brother to eat or sleep let alone put down the pure - kind of terrifying - insanity with the whole Red Circle stuff. After the video, I’d been keeping a close eye on Archie, going as far as to stalk him. Following him around. Checking his phone. If I did sleep, I slept very close to where he was. I was so worried and cautious that it made me crazy... the problem was that I was right.

Despite the fact that I had reason to act the way I did, we’d still been getting into more fights recently and I felt like a jealous, controlling girlfriend he was about to break up with any second... but I also felt absolutely terrified. I was watching my brother - the Mr. Cute and Perfect I’d always admired and looked up to and wanted to be and leaned on and depended on (some kids asked what mom or dad or Jesus would do, but my first thought used to be, "What would Archie do?") - fall apart, piece by piece. I found myself falling apart with him.

So, despite the million reasons to stay back and take care of myself and my friends (who were also seriously struggling), I found myself helicopter hovering over my dumbass older brother, staying on his heels even as he brought both of us into the South Side.

Initially he caught me off guard, tricking me into feeling complacent, sending me in to make dinner just to sneak off with a big black bag. It wasn’t until I finished the grilled cheese sandwiches that I returned to where I’d left him, only to find him gone. I tore through the whole house but... no sign. Because of my close attentiveness of my brother, I knew about absolutely everything. I hadn’t told anyone in fear of getting him in trouble, but I knew. I knew him so well these days that it was as if it was my own mind with my own ideas telling me to go to the South Side when I asked myself, "What would Archie do?" It made me flinch to realize that for the first time, I wasn’t doing the good thing. The honorable thing. I wasn’t using Archie as an example to be better. I was stooping to the level he’d lowered himself to, just to find him and drag his moronic, seemingly psychotic self back home and smack some damn sense into him.

And so, sleep deprived and hungry and ANGRY, I found myself running full speed as I spotted my red haired brother so I could catch up with him as he spray painted a wooden door with a huge red circle. Oh god...

Catching his arm, I pulled him away from the door. "Archie what the HELL?" I screeched.

He didn’t seem to register me for a beat but when it clicked, he was only looking at me a second. "Y/n? What are you-?" His eyes left me fluidly as if he hadn’t been that focused on me to begin with. His arm dropped to wrap around me, scooting me behind him. I turned around to see three boys approaching. It was dark, but I recognized the look of the jackets and one of their faces seemed very briefly familiar. With Archie setting me on edge, I’d spent more time with Betty and Jughead before I’d full deep dived into watching him. I’d met Toni once and these boys had that vibe. That look. Not something that was physical, like most people would see, but a way they carried themselves. The way the confidence and power settled in their hands and in their expressions. Something you could sense. Could feel in the very air around them. They were strong, at home, and in complete control.

Serpents.

I’d never been scared of the Serpents. I feared them in a respectful way. I kept my distance and my head down. I’d seen them at the Drive In before it closed down and, as previously mentioned, I’d met Toni one other time. So I’d seen them around, but I’d always kept my distance. Toni was a serpent but she was small and a generally sweet person who avoided trouble when she could. She was almost comfortable to be around. Real and genuine- a breath of fresh air after living in a plastic world that demanded too much at too high a price. A world that demanded perfection. Toni was pleasant to be around, even when she was pissed at Jughead- I usually sided with her anyway just because I thought everyone was dumb most days. These erpents weren't Toni though. Not in anyway. These Serpents were tall and built and terrifying. I felt myself cowering behind Archie as I would at school as he blocked me from Cheryl or Reggie. Archie had always been my protector and even in his unstable mental state I still had a sliver of faith in him.

"What the hell are you doing?" The tallest snapped in a commanding voice that made me swallow hard after a lump formed in my throat.

Archie shook his head and my eyes flickered to the spray can in his hands. "Hey back off, I’m not here for you." I tugged on his arm and he seemed ready to move on and past the boys, maybe more because I was here than he felt done with how well he’d made his bold, red statement.

"Oh yeah?" The tall Serpent sneered. "Then who’s this message for?" He motioned to the paining on the door and I gulped again, still trying to get rid of that lump in my throat. This was gonna get ugly. Archie’s body tensed under my hands. When the boy realized what Archie had painted, his voice grew quieter, and it seemed even scarier than the loud aggressiveness he’d spoken with before. The calm before the storm. The hiss before the bite. "Aw, hell, don’t tell me this is for the Black Hood?" I cringed at the name of my father’s almost murderer and the boy looked at me, an eyebrow popping up. I tugged on Archie’s arm again but he was refusing to budge. The boy’s words were getting under Archie’s skin. My anxiety was rising. After Archie realized the boy was looking at me he moved to block me better. The Serpent’s attention returned to the tagging. "You believe this guys?" He asked his friends mockingly. "And people say we’re the troublemakers." There was a pause as Archie silently tried to move past them to make a show of his man power or whatever. Too scared to approach I let go of him, staying where I was. I was relieved when they caught him, the tall one uttering a, “Whoa," as they did so. The trouble was still brewing, the steam and bubbles of the boiling water slamming against the lid and threatening to explode any second... but at least I wasn’t alone. "South Side Serpent country," the boy eased. But then his voice changed again. Threatening. Heavy. Dark. Dripping with anger and unspoken threats... No, not threats. Promises. "You can’t come here and tag our turf." I suddenly felt sick, realizing that Archie was trying to KEEP GOING when all I wanted to do was go home. What drugs was he ON?! "So get your ass back to the North Side," the Serpent continued venomously. His eyes found me again as a I took a step back, trying to become smaller and smaller until I could just disappear. "Before someone gets hurt."

My eyes went wider, my blood running cold. Maybe Archie could fight these guys off but I couldn't. "Arch," I whispered. "You shouldn't have come here, let's just-"

"Get out of my way,” Archie seethed, cutting me off. His breathing was ragged and I took another step back, startled by how Archie suddenly felt even more a threat then the Serpents he was facing.. "Or someone will get hurt."

The Serpent stepped forward, inhaling to speak again and I found myself panicking, surging forward to place myself between them. The Serpent stepped back but Archie was solid. I wondered if he even recognized that it was me standing there or if he just thought of me as an obstacle. My body began shaking, my eyes staring holes into my brother’s skull. "Archie, this is crazy," I croaked out. "Let’s go home. You’ve caused enough trouble for one night. You made your point. PLEASE!"

The Serpent smiled. "Listen to the girl. Go run home to daddy before things get ugly." And he drew a knife, the blade hoverijg near my arm.

Well shit.

I felt it before I saw it. Felt my brother’s arms move, felt the air snap and change as the tension broke and Archie’s last chord of either self control or sanity - or perhaps simply both - flew free of it’s tethering post, no longer holding Archie back. The gun was in his hand, the barrel sliding back loudly in my ear to make sure we all knew it was loaded. I choked on a scream and stumbled back, toward the Serpents. "Who made the mistake? WHO MADE THE MISTAKE?!"

“Arch-" I tried. But then his eyes turned on me and I tripped, taking more steps backward. He looked so angry. So driven by pure rage and so far past a simple breaking point that I didn’t see my brother anymore. The Archie I knew and loved and looked up to was simply... gone. And a monster was in his place. It wasn’t the gun that scared me, but the maniac that wielded it. I expected the barrel to suddenly turn and point at me, his hand to come down on the trigger. I whimpered, the sound high and quiet and wet.

I tripped, falling on my ass, and cried out in pain. That seemed to knock Archie out of it. The tears started to fall and I curled in on myself, arms over my head and knees pulled to my chest. I was crying an shaking violently. I’d been under too much pressure with the looming threat of a murder leisurely wandering around my town on top of almost losing my father to have the human equivalent of my security blanket turn violent against me. I felt a hand on my arm and I squealed, cringing away from it and shaking harder. "I..." Archie whispered. "I’m sorry." And then in a last bang of blazing idiocy, to top off all of the shit he’d pulled tonight, he left me. Alone. Mid breakdown. At night. On the South Side. WITH Serpents. After he’d waved a gun around and it had been established that we were both North Siders and knew each other.

When nothing happened I slowly looked up. The three Serpents were in front of me, the tall one still holding the drawn blade. "Please don’t hurt me," I croaked out. "You have no reason not to, but, please..." My habds reached out, palms open as if to push him away. My habds shook in the air.

Instantly the boy’s face softened. He kneeled down in front of me, his hand reaching out. My eyes flew to the blade and he frowned, withdrawing his hand. He held the knife out in front of me and then turned it, holding the blade toward him and offering it to me. I looked between him and it a few times. "Take it," he encouraged. "That way you won’t feel defenseless."

My head popped up so my words wouldn’t be muffled as I spoke softly. "I don’t want to hurt you either. Can we just agree not to hurt each other? I don’t want a knife just as I don’t want you to have a knife pointed at me. Why is it always violence with you people? God..."

The boy seemed to grow five years younger than when he had faced Archie, his face relaxing even more in surprise this time. He tilted his head, intrigued, and then the blade was gone and he put the sheathed weapon in his pocket. "Look, you’re cold and scared and... why are you out here?"

My face darkened. "My brother is a fucking psychopath," I spat. Emotions were ramming against my insides, controlled but painful to keep in. And after losing Archie to whatever madness he’d finally succumbed to, this boy no longer looked at all threatening. I wanted to trust him and he looked so human and normal and kind that I let myself trust him, even though a small part of the back of my brain screamed hysterically for me to keep being diligent. Even if he was a good person, he was still a Serpent and this place was still dangerous. He could turn on me any second. He was a stranger. And yet I ignored that part of my brain and trusted him anyway. "Came to stop him. Save him, maybe. From himself." My eyes unfocused as I stared through my fingers, past the boy who's name I still didn't know. "Guess I forgot to keep myself safe." I whispered that, my voice sounding far away and almost distorted.

Heavy silence fell and it was weird to feel so comfortable with these boys when just ten minutes ago I’d placed Archie between us as protection. So much had changed in just a minute. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling anymore. Except cold. I was feeling cold. I shivered again, more forcefully. The boy sighed, hanging his head for a second before looking at his friends and then back at me. "My name is Sweet Pea. Can you trust me?" I paused and then shrugged, nodding. "It’s late. Do you want to go home? I can take you..." my eyes went wide and he nodded. "Thought so. Is there anyone at home you should be worried about keeping him alone with?" I shook my head. Despite his breakdown, Archie wouldn’t shoot our dad. The boy nodded, moving and shifting around. I realized what was happening when he put his jacket around me, moving to my side. My hands were still in the air and it felt silly but my body was locked, unresponding. "Will you come with me? I know we’re strangers but I’m not gonna leave some little thing like you to roam around the South Side and find some hole to sleep in because you’re too scared to go home." He pressed his hand against mine, using touch to knock me out of it. My other hand dropped, my body relaxing. He was warm. "I won’t hurt you, okay? I just want you to be safe." He was quiet and gentle and when our eyes met, I felt... I couldn't put a name to it.

I nodded and he stood, pulling me after him. Our hands dropped away from each other. I looked at him, cocking my head. "Why are you helping me? My brother just..." my throat closed, refusing to allow me to say it.

Sweet Pea frowned. "He’s a genuine lunatic, sure. But you’re terrified and shaken up real bad." He paused. "I guess I can’t look at a lost person and not offer my help."

Our eyes met again and we stared at each other with mutual intrigue, like we saw something in the other that drew us in and was confused by it. I was suddenly realizing he looked different than when I first saw him, more than just younger abd less intense. The strength that accompanied the kindness in Toni was mirrored perfectly in Sweet Pea. A big, friendly giant. I was stunned to remember that his tall, muscly build had scared me before. He was so gentle and kind. I don’t know what he saw in me, but two strangers had met and suddenly become acquaintances under a truce in a split second. Half of me felt it was deliciously dangerous, dancing like this with a Serpent. The other half of me was tired and wanted to feel safe, just for a second. Both sides agreed that it was odd that I found that need for safety in the dark color of his eyes. "Yeah," I voiced finally. "Yeah that’s okay." Sweet Pea nodded, his hand moving to my back to guide me with the smallest amount of pressure he could while still applying it at all. I stepped closer to him, taking comfort in his warmth. His hand pressed harder to me, more protective.

I don’t know what just happened, but this definitely would not be the last time I would see Sweet Pea. I wouldn’t allow it.

-

Amidst all the chaos, I found myself on the South Side a lot more than I had reason to be. The night Sweet Pea and I met, he took me home. I collapsed on the couch, curling in a ball and hiding under his jacket. There was a pause before he mumbled, "I was gonna offer you the bed but... okay." I thought he was going to be gone for the rest of the night when I heard him leave, but only a moment later his footsteps pattering against the trailer floor was heard as he returned. I peeled out of the jacket to see him with a pillow and blanket, offering it to me. I sat up, the jacket falling into my lap as I took the offerings with a small smile. I put them down next to me on the couch before raising the jacket, offering it in return. He paused for a second. "Keep it for tonight," he told me.

My eyes had widened. "But it’s your Serpent jacket."

Sweet Pea paused for a second before he sat on the table next to he couch so he wouldn’t tower over me so much. "You feel safe in it huh? Like, more than a jacket has ever made you feel before." I paused and then realized he was right, nodding. He smiled. "That jacket means a lot more than just what it actually is. I first got that jacket after joining the Serpents to support my mom. I was too young to do anything else, and the Serpents already had so many of my friends - my family. So I joined because that’s what we are. A family. A united force. That jacket is the only thing in this entire world that has ever made me feel safe." He paused. "You need to feel safe. And as far as I’m concerned, here, you are safe. Always. I don’t like your brother and I don’t like that someone as good as you has to deal with him." He smiled, his nose scrunching, and a funny feelings bloomed in my stomach and chest, spreading throughout my body very slowly. The feeling was new but pleasant. "You’re not a normal North Sider."

I smiled. "Thank you."

He nodded, standing. "Just don’t run off with it."

My smile widened and he seemed to forget how to walk for a split second as he looked at me. "Promise." If an hour before this someone had told me I’d be in a Serpent’s trailer, sleeping on a couch with a blanket and a pillow, taking comfort from a Serpent jacket, I would have laughed so hard I’d peed myself, and then I’d have avoided that person for the next ever because I would have been worried they were crazy or on drugs. But that night I slept better than I had every night since Jason Blossom had died. For once the whole world simply faded out and I slipped into a dreamless sleep that was refreshing and peaceful and nothing else.

He fed me breakfast the next day, insisting, and I had to admit he was a good cook. I’d called my dad after that, letting him know I was okay and delivering him some lie about crashing at Jughead’s after ranting to him about my stresses at school and in general. My dad sighed and seemed to not like the idea of me sleeping in the South Side but allowed it this time. Sweet Pea offered me a ride to school and I laughed, telling him no only because my brother would lose his SHIT if he saw Sweet Pea again. He insisted that he didn’t care what my brother thought but I didn’t want to drive Archie to tell my dad the truth about last night and upset him while he was recovering. He understood that and we agreed to compromise. He drove me all the way to the first houses in the North Side and I walked the rest of the way to school, thanking him for everything. He asked if I would visit again. I said maybe.

I didn’t. I wanted to, but I had so much sense and fear hit me after I got home again. My brother was still acting weird except that Veronica was in on it now. He made her aware of the gun and what happened and I sat in my bed upstairs, pretending I couldn’t hear them argue while dad went to some meeting at the school. I found myself wanting to be with Sweet Pea again and hated that my brain was defaulting to him as a safe place. Serpents weren’t safe. North and South siders didn’t mix. Especially me being Archie’s sister- it was a BAD IDEA! ...Yet I wanted it so badly.

So when I heard a knock at the door, I couldn’t even try to lie to myself as I flew from my bed, hoping it was him even though I knew what trouble and chaos it would cause if it was. I wanted him to be here, checking on me and making sure I was okay and ready to whisk me away to his cozy little home I wanted to go back to so badly. Veronica got to the door before me, revealing Reggie and the other Bulldogs with pizzas in tow. I felt sick to feel so disappointed, ignoring everyone else even as Reggie waved at me. They moved into the living room and I plopped on the steps, arms crossed over my knees and my chin resting on top. They were talking about supporting each other and I felt disgusted to be so close to them. They were STILL going after the Red Circle shit? SERIOUSLY?! What would it take for them to learn? Who would have to die?

Revving engines knocked me out of my train of thought but my anger was still there. I knew the engines were motorcycles only because I’d memorized each second of the sound while Sweet Pea had given me a ride to the boarder of the North Side, just like I’d tried to memorize every other detail of my time with him. I didn’t let myself think it was him this time though, instead falling into memory to satiate the ache I had now. I didn’t know him well and it wasn’t like I was about to claim I was in love with him, but he made me feel good and I hadn’t felt so in a long time. It was addicting.

Ronnie was first to the door again, calling Archie over "trouble". Putting together their talk of the Red Circle and what she would consider trouble worth warning Archie specifically, my head popped up and suddenly I was a lot more scared than hopeful. A part of me still wanted it to be him but now that it seemed it was, that half of me that wanted to avoid the ‘trouble’ it would ensue was pushy and demanding, screaming and overruling the other half. When the door opened, I shot to my feet and moved down to the last step of the stairs, my eyes on Sweet Pea instantly. I hadn’t realized just how handsome he was. That odd observation sunk in a second before Archie and Sweet Pea locked eyes and their passionate hate for each other exploded as tangible tension in the room.

"How stupid are you North Siders?" Sweet Pea snapped. He hadn’t seen me yet but it still felt like a slap in the face. I was a North Sider. Sweet Pea took a step closer to my brother. "You really think you can come to my house, stick a gun in my face, in front of my boys, and there wouldn’t be any pay back?" My stomach twisted, because honestly he had a point. I was still mad at Archie about that... even if it had brought me to meeting Sweet Pea.

Reggie grabbed the door, opening it wider to reveal the rest of the Bulldogs. "You really have crap timing bro," he told Sweet Pea slowly. Their voices were full of so much hate that I shivered, my breaths becoming more shallow. "Bulldogs eat Serpents for lunch." My fists clenched. My crazy brother and his stupid friends were threatening the Serpents. The only sane people in all of fucking Riverdale, who were protecting their home and their people from gun wielding maniacs like the idiot I was related to. I felt protective but suddenly torn. The Serpents weren’t my family. Archie was. Putting myself between them would make a statement, and there was no reason for the Serpents to take me in. Although I was fine leaving Riverdale high and my shell of a brother behind, leaving my dad behind was another story. So I stayed in place, my hands curling tighter and tighter as I tried to hold myself back.

"We’ll see," Sweet Pea cooed dangerously. "And the more the merrier." He had meant to look at the Bulldogs, challenging them, but as he took a step inside the house, his eyes landed on me. I only realized because I was staring daggers at the back of Reggie’s head, my face undoubtedly red with rage as I practically shook with how powerful the emotion was. I was glaring at Reggie and Archie and even Veronica and all these stupid North Siders I no longer wanted to be apart of when Sweet Pea stepped back, his movement catching my eye. Our gazes met and I softened instantly, my face exploding with agony and apology and regret.

I don’t know how he knew, but he seemed to know about me. Know what I was thinking and how I was feeling. Suddenly whatever invisible chord that had been between us, tying us together and gently pulling at us to return to each other, was now stronger. Thicker. Harder to ignore. For a split second he nodded to me and I don’t know what he was confirming exactly but I know that my decision was made when it came to my brother. When it came to Archie. This Archie that was twisted. This Archie who was dark and dangerous and threatening and crazy. This Archie that was not mine. This Archie I would not claim even if it meant siding with people who were practically strangers.

Veronica set some ground rules, which I was thankful for. We all filtered out of the house. Archie reached out to stop me but I jerked away from him, glaring at him ferociously. He physically stuttered, his body processing the hateful look I gave him. One he had never seen on my face. One he could not even imagine me showing, let alone directing at him. Despite that, Reggie offered me a ride since I made it aparant without words that I was going- even if I had to go by foot. So we all made our way to the hidden corner Sweet Pea had out for the fight. And everyone took their side, Veronica far behind the Bulldogs in her cloak. I moved to the side, far out of the fight still but not behind the Bulldogs. Archie threw the first lunch and I took several steps back to separate myself even more as the two groups converged on each other.

I didn’t like violence. I never did. The fighting made me sick, my face twisting with distaste and I want as I rejected the scene before me. Dilton was was suddenly bleeding, his knife buried in him. And then there was a gun shot and I jumped, soaking wet from the rain as the Serpents scattered, Sweet Pea calling a retreat when we all saw Veronica with the gun in the air. Bulldogs ran to their cars to help Dilton. Archie called to me. I stumbled back, away, eyes wide with fear and hate. Violence. All this violence. All this aggression and it was getting us NOWHERE. It was causing endless problems and issues and I hated all of it. I hated all of them. He called my name again and I turned first toward the North Side. But the Bulldogs were that way. My brother and his friends were the North Side. The Black Hood was the North Side. I turned away, running toward the South Side. And I didn’t stop running. Not even for a second.

-

"You know he’s trouble, right?" Betty told me one day. After the whole thing blew up, I’d called my dad and told him I couldn’t be home anymore. At least not for a little while. I had a panic attack over the phone and broke down and told him EVERYTHING and he paused before stating he understood. He asked where I’d stay and I told him I’d figure it out. The next hour after he hung up he called again to let me know Jughead was okay with me staying at his place until I felt good coming home again. He had always been a good dad. Understanding and supportive. These were extenuating circumstances. I was just glad that he let me get out of there. I might have strangled Archie in his sleep.

I was still going to Riverdale High, Sweet Pea giving me rides to the boarder as he did that first day. I avoided Archie at school and eventually he just gave me my space when all of his attempts failed. Sweet Pea and I began to hang out a lot though. Like, a lot. It was only a matter of time before someone noticed. Betty was the one who noticed, and, predictably, she had a word to put into the situation.

Shrugging, I didn’t even look at her to recognize that she had spoken as I focused on my homework. "We all have damage, Betty. I’m not pristine glass and smooth surfaces either." I looked her dead in the eye. "Maybe danger runs in the Andrews bloodline more than you think."

She didn’t have anything to say after that.

-

Forever Tag List: @bitchyseawitch @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21

[princesweetpea]

I Found | Sweet Pea x Aurora Jones (oc)

All Chapters Here

Chapter: Two

Warnings: Language, mentions of friend death, mentions of family death, angst, mentions of crime (?)

READ IT ON AO3

A/N: Hello friends! I know it's been a little while since updating. Depression has been kicking my ass, but writing this has made me feel a bit better! I hope you enjoy! 

           “So… what’s it going to be like for you to be living in your girlfriend’s old house?” Rory chuckled awkwardly as she set a box down on Jughead’s new desk. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

           “I’d rather not be in this situation at all, honestly. Maybe it would be different if my mom got the money without all this drug shit, and with actual good intentions. I don’t know. The only ‘good’ thing about this, the way I see it, is that we’re no longer packed in like sardines,” He stated sarcastically, opening a box labeled “books.” Rory nodded and watched him carefully. She knew how stressful this situation was for him and Betty. He stared down blankly into the box for a few moments.

           “Jug?”

           He snapped out of his trance and looked up at her. He mumbled a quick apology before holding up The Nancy Drew Secret Code book. Rory shifted uncomfortably.

           “Jughead, why do you have that?”

           “Betty didn’t want anything to do with it after… you know,” he replied and shot her an apologetic look. “We were going to burn it, but time escaped us with Archie’s trial and everything else that started happening.” Rory honestly hadn’t even immediately thought of this as the Black Hood’s house. Perhaps her subconscious made the decision for her to only think of it as Betty and Alice’s. Jughead immediately shoved the book back into the box. “I’m sorry.”

           “Don’t be, I understand,” she sighed and sat down on his bed, and then paused for a moment. “I never thanked you.”

           “What? What do you mean?”

           “I never thanked you, or Betty, for catching him… Though I don’t exactly know how to thank someone for finding out that their father is a psychotic serial killer. I know that Midge would have been grateful, too.” Rory shrugged and looked out the window. She could see Archie going at it with his punching bag in his room. He stepped back after a particularly hard swing and noticed her gaze through the window. He gave her an awkward wave as his cheeks flushed. She smiled back at him.

           “You don’t have to thank us, what are you even talking about?” Jughead walked over to sit next to her. She shrugged and gave him a weak smile. He lightly elbowed her in return.

           “We need to figure out how to get the Airstream over here, because you know I’m not sleeping in this godforsaken house.” Rory joked, changing the subject. Then the bedroom door suddenly swung open. Gladys’s eyes appeared slightly over the box she was carrying. She cackled, causing the teens to exchange confused glances at each other before looking back to the woman who had just entered.

           “Oh, that thing isn’t coming over here. Sorry, babydoll, but it’s an eyesore.” She laughed, setting the box on the ground by the doorway.

           “What… What do you mean?” Rory stammered, genuinely confused.

           “There’s no place for it here. It can’t go on the street, or in the driveway. The neighborhood committee wouldn’t allow it. There is no other place for it besides where it is right now.” She stated. Rory stared at her aunt with her mouth slightly agape. She turned to Jughead, whose eyes were narrowed and his jaw was clenched.

           “Can it go in the backyard, or something?” Rory pleaded softly.

           “I just now got myself my first, nice backyard. There isn’t enough room to have it back there.” She insisted.

           “Auntie, I really can’t live in this house…” Rory stated, her knuckles turning a pale shade of white as her bones pressed tightly against her skin.

           “Oh, I never expected you to. I can’t imagine what living in your best friend’s killer’s house would do to you. I’d never get any sleep if you did, for sure.” She chuckled. Rory felt like she’d just gotten the wind knocked out of her by her aunt’s words. Gladys had just confirmed that she had indeed been hearing Rory’s screaming from her nightmares and couldn’t care less about her wellbeing, and she so insensitively brought up Midge’s death. It’s like she was trying to get rid of her all along.

           “Mom.” Jughead warned lowly, standing up from his bed with his fists tightly made.

           “What?” Gladys feigned innocence as she strode over to him and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear, then exited the room. Rory blinked a few times, practically baring a hole into the floor with her stare. She had no words for what just unfolded.

           “Rory, please ignore her. I do,” Jughead offered, trying to break her from her trance. She shrugged in response. “We’ll figure it out, okay? We’ll talk to my dad.” He stated, and she nodded in return.

           “Hey, look who I ran into at Pop’s!” Betty smiled as she stepped through the threshold with two boys. She carried two takeout bags full of burgers, Fangs and Sweet Pea towered behind her holding drink carriers. Rory and Sweet Pea locked eyes. He raised an eyebrow at her.

           “Princess.” He addressed her mockingly.

           “Can I please catch a break? Jesus Christ!” She groaned as she rolled her eyes.

           “Actually, it’s ‘Sweet Pea,’ but I’ll take it.” He responded with a smirk. Jughead and Betty shared an awkward look between them, one that Rory ignored as she pressed further.

           “Well it’s a good thing that I’m not a believer, because if I was, I would be fucked.” Rory laughed bitterly.

           “I don’t think that would be the only reason that you’d be fucked.” Sweet Pea immediately fired back.

           “You’re a fucking thorn in my side.” Rory spat.

           “More like a pea under your mattress, like ‘Princess and the Pea.’” Fangs snorted, cracking up at his own joke before immediately stopping with a fake cough, due to Sweet Pea’s glare.

           “He’d would be so lucky to get anywhere near my mattress,” She said sarcastically before turning to face Sweet Pea. “You’re actually insufferable. You know that, right? Why are you even –”

           “Let’s eat!” Jughead interrupted, walking between the to of them over to Betty. He gave her a quick kiss before taking the bags from her.

           Rory stood outside of her dad’s house, kicking gravel around before pacing back and forth. She had been ignoring all of his calls and messages, and didn’t even speak to him at the funeral seven months ago. But she had put this off for long enough. She needed to get it out of the way and finally discuss things with the only father that she has ever known. However, she’d been outside of this house for thirty minutes and still hadn’t made any progress toward the door.

           “I can’t do this.” She laughed bitterly to herself before turning to walk the other direction, back toward the Cooper – the Jones’ household that was about a mile and a half away. The front door opened just as she was about to take her first step to toward her exit.

           “Aurora?” Her dad called out to her. Still facing the other direction, Rory’s lips pressed together into a tight line. “Aurora, is that you?” He sounded tipsy, but not quite drunk. She sucked in a breath through her teeth before turning on her heel toward him. His eyes lit up at the sight of her as he supported himself against the doorway, glass of scotch in hand.

           “Lance.” She said flatly, nodding once to him in acknowledgement. His beaming smile instantly fell and he straightened.

           “Are you here to see Peter?” He asked, hopeful that it wasn’t the case.

           “Yes… Yes, I am.” Rory lied. His expression seemed to sink further.

           “He isn’t here… He’s with Lara.” Great. The one time she needed to use her brother as an excuse, he was out with his girlfriend.

           “Oh,” She simply stated. They stood in silence for a moment. Rory began to panic. “Well, see you later.”

           “Wait!” He pleaded. “Would you like to come inside and wait for him? He’ll be back in a bit. They’re both coming here after they finish their dinner.”

           She nodded curtly after a moment, trotting up the steps of the porch and straight through the doorway without making eye contact. He reeked of alcohol when she passed him, and smelled like he hadn’t showered. She moved to the living room that was straight off to the left side of the foyer, opting for the furthest seat from the place he always sat. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when he took a seat where she predicted instead of trying to sit closer to her. They stayed in an extremely uncomfortable silence for several minutes, and Rory constantly found herself looking at the clock on the mantle of the fireplace. It seemed like time wasn’t moving. She couldn’t take it anymore.

           “I’m going to go.” She stood suddenly, which even surprised herself. Am I really chickening out?

           “Come on, stay. Let’s catch up, talk about things. Please.” Lance grasped at the fleeting moment with his only daughter, who had only said these few words to him for the first time in almost a year. A sudden anger surged through Rory and she quickly sat back down.

           “Okay, you want to catch up? Let’s!” She began, slapping her knees and plastering the fakest smile she could muster onto her tormented features. “Where shall we begin? The part where you took my siblings away from me when you and mom split? Or sticking me with a tumultuous time bomb of a woman for years in a run-down shit hole we couldn’t even afford, while you lived in this perfect house with my brothers? Or maybe we should go back to the very beginning? You know, the part where you’re not even me and Peter’s father! That part is rich. It really adds to the shit show that is our lives. Please, take your pick. A magnificent tragedy, I have become, don’t you think?” She spouted in almost a complete blur, angry tears spilling down her cheeks. He sat silently and stared at her, looking like he’d been kicked in the ribs.

           “I…” He began. She leaned forward and plopped her head onto her hand, pretending to be hanging onto every word that was about to come out of his mouth. “I am so sorry Aurora. For everything. God knows I have made mistakes, and that I have made your life difficult,” He said softly, and she scoffed at the word ‘difficult.’ “I never intended for you to find out, not either one of you. Your mother and I intended for that to be our secret.”

           “Wow Lance, that makes everything so much better. Thank you.” She cackled. He winced at the use of his first name by her for the second time in that short time frame.

           “I may not be your father, but I am your dad. I raised you. I changed your diapers. I soothed you when you’d cry in the middle of the night. I taught you to ride a bike, and I put the bandages on when you’d fall and scrape your knee. I checked for monsters under the bed. And I never loved you any less than I would have if you were actually mine.” He said genuinely with tears brimming his eyes. Rory couldn’t keep eye contact with him. She looked away as she broke into heart wrenching sobs. He moved toward her, wrapping her into a tight hug, which made her sob even harder. Her tears broke his heart. Hell, her tears even broke her own heart. She calmed after a few minutes and avoided eye contact, unintentionally shifting her gaze to Lance’s open laptop on the coffee table, where she could see a picture of her mother’s beloved car under a “For Sale” post on Craigslist. She furrowed her brows and broke out of her dad’s embrace.

           “What the fuck is this?” She hissed, holding up his laptop toward him. His mouth opened, then closed again. He had nothing that he could say to diffuse the anger that she was about to throw at him.

           “I need the money for your brother’s boarding payment.” He stated carefully, though obviously lying.

           “Are you joking? Like hell, you need the money!” She said sarcastically, gesturing at the house they were in. “Take it down, that car is mine and Peter’s.” She demanded.

           “I’m not taking it down.” He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. Rory scoffed in disbelief as she pushed herself up from her seat and stormed out of the house, the screen door banging closed behind her. She could hear him calling after her but she kept walking, glancing toward her mom’s covered car off to the side of the driveway. As she passed it, Peter and Lara stepped out of Lara’s car that had just pulled up.

           “Rory –”

           “Not now Peter. I’ll see you later,” she said adamantly as she walked past them. She pulled out her phone and dialed the only person she could trust with the situation at hand.

           “Hello?” The voice on the other end of the phone said, muffled from the obvious chewing of food.

           “Hey Jug, do you know how to hotwire a car?”

           At midnight, on the dot, the sounds of two motorcycles and shifting gravel pulled Rory out of her unfocused, anxious leg jiggling. Two motorcycles? She shook her head. Her nerves must have been making her hear things. She pulled a black beanie over her messy brunette waves, completing her all black ensemble; she was ready to commit a crime, her first crime, and she was going to look damn good doing it. She gave herself one last anxious glance-over in the full-length mirror before grabbing her bag and heading out the camper door. And, sure enough, her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her, for there stood Jughead Jones accompanied by Sweet Pea… Whatever his last name is.

           “What the hell is he doing here?” Rory hissed at her cousin.

           “What? You asked if I knew how to hotwire a car. I don’t. He does.” He put his hands up in a defensive pose.

           “WikiHow exists for a reason! You couldn’t have thought of anyone else?” She whined.

           “I’m literally standing right here,” Sweet Pea stated flatly as he leaned up against his bike, flicking his switchblade open and closed. “Do you want my help or not?”

[cancerianprincess]

Birkin Bag (2)

|Part One|

Summary: Erik finds out he might’ve rubbed off on his best friend a tad too much and that she’s really with the shits

Warning: Language, Angst, Kidnap Mention(s), Mild Violence

Quick A/N: Didn’t plan on doing an OC, but still wanted ‘Reader’ to have a name, so you are Aniya, Aniya is you, & that’s “Y/N” for the series. That cool? Everybody got it? Aight bet 🙂👍🏾

~~~~

“I bought my bitch a Birkin Bag so she could hold my fucking strap..”

____

“It’s been two days now, can’t we just kill him already?”

“No, stupid! Do you want to start an international incident?”

Erik could only roll his eyes at the bickering taking place in front of him. They couldn’t have possibly been professionals, because professionals never discussed business around their captive, or argue, to put it more accurately. Still, they weren’t totally inexperienced either, and that’s probably what pissed him off the most about this situation.

“Man whatever, I’m tired of this ‘being patient’ shit.”

“Well that’s what yo’ ass get for giving him the wrong injection! Ain’t nobody fault but yours he was out for a day and a half, we coulda been got somewhere with the operation.”

Him of all people, Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens, Prince N’Jadaka of Wakanda, had been taken down in his own home. And even if it was late when he got home from the range with Aniya, he still should’ve sensed them from a mile away. Though he couldn’t be too hard on himself, because thanks to the big, burly, Harambe looking nigga in the corner, he had given him a run for his money in that fight. That dude was damn near bigger than M’Baku!

“Fuck the plan, I’m bout to just shoot this nigga right now.”

“Tee, put the gun away. What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand?”

Nevertheless, now wasn’t the time to think about that. Before the vaguely familiar woman could put a cap is his ass, Erik needed to concentrate on how to escape without breaking the promise to his aunt and cousins that he’d never go on another psychotic murderous rampage ever again.

“Please? Just one to the shoulder, that’s all I’m asking.” But Harambe wouldn’t give in to the whining.

“You heard what the man said, we gotta wait til she notices he’s really missing.”

His brain had been multitasking the entire time, dually focused on both the conversation and breaking free of his restraints, but when the word ‘she’ hit Erik’s ears, he only had to ponder for half a minute until it registered. There was only one female he was tight with that would think to immediately come to his aid in circumstances such as these.

‘It’s a trap.’

Alarm rapidly grew in the pit of Erik’s stomach, but he refused to let it show. He wasn’t sure how to make it happen, but if there was any chance to prevent Aniya from getting hurt, he would have to play it cool in trying to get the two captors to accidentally disclose pieces of their strategy to him.

“Aye...Aye!”

They turned around at his second shout, realizing that Erik was actually speaking to them now.

“Look, Jay, he’s finally talking to us,” the girl cooed, pretending to be honored. Her partner whipped to peer at her with a hint of panic. “How the hell you gon’ just throw my name out there like that, Tracee?”

She simply scoffed. “Bruh, you literally did the same thing to me, like just then.”

“And?” Jay shot back. “He been awake for a good minute now. Ain’t no telling what he already done heard.”

“Exactly. So stop bitching, aight? He gone be dead soon anywa-”

Erik cut into their dispute with an intentionally exaggerated laugh, which gave him precisely what he wanted.

“Yo, y’all funny,” he joked, drinking in their irritation expressions. Time to follow his asshole side with the playboy act. “Listen, y’all two real cute and allat, but say shawty, why don’t leave ol’ Magilla Gorilla over there alone and come talk to a real man?”

Tracee’s face fell blank for a second or two before brandishing a wicked grin that was semi-genuine. She retrieved something from the table they were working at and began stalking her way over to the chair Erik was strapped to.

“Yeah, gone head and cut me out these ropes, ma.”

He didn’t really except her to comply that easily, but if she got close enough, one good head butt would do the trick. All he’d have to then was get loose, grab the gun from her hip, and tag Big Boy one good time so he could dip.

But unfortunately for Erik, the woman advancing on him wasn’t about to let that happen in the slightest. Tracee knew if anything could weaken her prey, it was the file she held in her hand. Which is precisely why she threw it open in Erik’s lap after drawing her weapon, placing it to his temple. She nudged him with the barrel, silently prompting him to take a look at it.

“You know if I were you, I’d shut my mouth and open my eyes instead,” she purred. “Save as much energy as possible.”

Erik bore his daggers at her for another moment, but reluctantly did as he was told and inspected the image lying on the very top of the pile of paper.

“Because that smooth talking ain’t gonna get you far with me,” Tracee continued, her voice growing darker with each word she spoke. “Unlike it did with my sister, sadly.”

That’s when any sort of guard Erik had up began crumbling away.

He thought he recognized the crazy bitch towering over him, and when his gaze fell on the name at the top of the folder, he knew exactly how he knew her. Through clenched teeth Erik asked her, “‘The fuck is this?” His voice was low but the bass in it caused his barely audible question to be heard. Tracee responded with malicious snickering rather than an actual answer as she backed away from him slowly. Erik repeated himself again, only this time he roared it, finally tearing away from the black and white photo that was now burned into his memory.

Still the woman said nothing, merely flickered her eyes to a spot behind Erik to glance at the source that would rebuttal in her place.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know the answers to, homie.”

It was a third voice that Erik had yet to hear since waking up in the foreign location, but before he was even able to identify it the third stranger struck him with something blunt, delivering a hard blow that knocked Erik out cold.

********

You felt something was up by the third day. Erik never missed a chance to taste your mom’s cooking, except for the rare cases when he was otherwise occupied. Even in those instances, he would always ask you to snag him a to-go plate to retrieve later on. So when he never showed up for dinner that Sunday afternoon without a heads up, it had been icing on the cake.

Granted, it wasn’t like the two of you constantly stayed up each other’s asses and talked every single day, but 72 hours of complete radio silence? No texts, no call, no stupid Snapchat, absolutely nothing. There hadn’t even been one single funny tweet sent to your DM’s and it just didn’t seem right. Plus, Erik’s fatass never turned down some good soul food, so after lumping two and two together, your better judgement was done taking the back seat. Something was definitely wrong.

“Your boyfriend not coming for dinner today, Aniya?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Ma,” you said, rolling your eyes at her obvious teasing. She merely smirked, thinking otherwise by how frequently you were checking your phone. You fed her the first sensible excuse that came to mind as an attempt to downplay it.

“The center has some kind of conference or something coming up, so they probably had Erik on call for the prep work. But because you’re so worried about him, I’ll go fix him a plate since he’s your ‘favorite child.’”

That had been several hours ago, the recent memory playing back of you ambling into the kitchen to mask your jittering leg. Now you were hurrying towards Erik’s front door, having practically sped over to his apartment the minute you reached your car. But after making the walk from the elevator, your hand stopped short of knocking, eyes alert once spotting that the door was already hanging open slightly. You inched it open a little further, tapping twice with your knuckles just in case anyone was still inside.

“Erik,” you called out. “Yo, you in here?”

No answer came so you proceeded to investigate with caution, but instantly felt a wave of queasiness bud in your stomach due to what you saw next.

Nearly everything in the main room of the two-bedroom had been trashed. The couch was slanted at an odd angle, no longer in its designated place, while both armchairs had been overturned on their sides. Shards of what used to be the glass coffee table laid scattered across the living room floor along with all the items it once held. There was even a rather large hole in the wall closest to the hallway. All clear signs that there’d been a struggle or fight of some kind.

As soon as shock loosened its grip on your body, panic took over and sent you searching through each section of the apartment, yelling for Erik the whole way. Your feet raced from room to room, your mind going twice as fast trying to piece together what could’ve possibly happened. None of them appeared to have been damaged; the kitchen, bathroom, home office, and Erik’s room all remained untouched, but unfortunately empty as well.

Returning to the starting point of your search, anxiety continued to flow through you as you placed your hands on your head, thoughts bouncing around like rapid fire.

“Who would attack Erik? And in his own house, at that? I mean, sure he’s done his fair share of wrong, but he’s been making up for it all since coming back from his first trip to Wakanda,” you thought.

No matter who was behind this or why, you knew you had to track them down quick before Erik relapsed back into his old ways, or worse. The list of enemies was potentially endless, with the outreach center opening and newest addition to the United Nations and all, but you figured you had to start somewhere. Right as you reached for your phone, racking your brain on where to even begin, it went off in your pocket. In fact, it buzzed continuously, signaling more than one new notification:

Unknown (3)

At first you raised a puzzled eyebrow at the screen, but given the circumstances decided to click on the messages rather swiping them away. When it opened the first thing you saw was a shared location, leaving you even more confused than just a few seconds ago. But when your gaze drifted up to the bubbles above it, confusion quickly evolved back into panic.

‘If you want your boyfriend back be at the old Stokely Warehouse by midnight. Come alone.’

The next one was even more grim than the first.

‘No cops or we put a bullet in his skull.’

You blinked at your phone several times, gradually letting your mind wrap around the seemingly unreal situation that was now at hand. You had to have been staring at it for a good bit, because you only zoned back into reality long after the device’s screen had went black.

And that’s when it all hit you like a ton of bricks.

Erik had really been taken by some mysterious ass goons.

Who had evidently been tracking his whereabouts.

Or the movements of the apartment at the very least. That had to be it, for it was the only way they could’ve known to send you the demand right then and there. And now they wanted you of all people to be the one to go and retrieve him.

But that was the question, though: why you? If it was money these people were after, you certainly didn’t have it. They should’ve hit up the Wakandan council for that; it wasn’t necessarily a secret anymore regarding their wealth, or Erik’s true identity, so demanding ransom from them would have made more sense.

None of that mattered now, though, because the bottom line was that your best friend was in danger. You registered the fact that Erik’s specific skill set would probably kick in and he’d off every last one of those dumbass bums, but instantly remembered that he was on a different path now. You were so proud of him for attempting to overcome all the traumas of his past and trying to shy away from the ‘Killmonger’ persona, and now who knew if this would trigger a setback for him? Just thinking about either dilemma and its following outcome was enough to launch your anger into overdrive.

You bolted from the loft, dialing a number while backtracking to your car. Starting the engine and reversing from the parking space in record time, you began leaving a voicemail for your boss when she didn’t answer. Not going into specifics, you simply spun a tale about some ‘family emergency’, knowing it would get you at least the next week off. That way, you’d have plenty of time to save your partner in crime and put the bitches in the dirt who’d started all this. Maybe ask questions first, if you felt like it.

But before any of that could happen, you zoomed through the night, shredding back to your place for a swift pit stop inside. Because if you were gonna do this, you would need the bag Erik had brought back for you from Wakanda.

~~~~

*Y’all I’m so sorry 😭😭 I know this one might have been a teeny bit long but it’s just how it ended up flowing but still, thanks as always for reading and sticking with it!! 💋”

|Part Three|

~Taglist~

@iamrheaspeaks @princesskillmonger @eriknutinthispoosy @wheredidallthedreamersgo @sonofnjobu @bidibidibombaclaat @turn-thy-paige @ayellepea @another-imaginesblog @mzbritt @youreadthatright @chaneajoyyy @theunsweetenedtruth @marvelpotterlove

[angel5081]

After Review

I read this book forever ago and posted the review on my website, but I decided I would rather put my reviews for things on here for free than pay monthly for a website so here you go. Also the trailer I talk about is the teaser trailer. 

If you've read this book you either loved it or hated it. If you've only recently come across this book it's probably because you saw the trailer and you were interested. The trailer in question starts off with the main character Tessa telling you something that is meant to be profound, and it kept me watching so I guess it was doing something right. However, the trailer then shows you several steamy scenes between Tessa and her "love interest" Hardin with Ariana Grande's' Dangerous Woman playing in the background (if you're wondering why the trailer was so familiar rewatch the first Fifty Shades of Grey trailer only the Fifty Shades trailer was more interesting in my opinion). Speaking of Hardin, let's talk about that trainwreck. 

In the book, Hardin is a grade-A asshole. The more intimate his relationship with Tessa gets the more toxic and abusive he gets. He gets borderline aggressive when he sees Tessa even blink in another guys direction. He tricks her into signing a lease with him which not only binds them legally to an apartment but he also manages to isolate her from her friends in college by doing so. They fight all the time over the simplest things (I realize couples fighting isn't abusive, but Hardin blowing up when Tessa asks simple questions is). At the start of Tessa and Hardin's' relationship, the two were messing around behind Tessas' boyfriend Noahs back. When Tessa showed a willingness to break up with Noah for Hardin he makes fun of her and harshly reminds her he doesn't date. However, when she leaves him still asleep one morning after one of his drunken rampages Hardin storms into Tessas' dorm where Noah also happened to be and forced her to tell him what she and Hardin had been up to. Hardin blames Tessa constantly for the terrible way he acts and is quick to guilt her into not leaving him the second she shows any sort of resistance. That being said I almost feel bad for Hardin. Until he was ten years old he had to deal with an alcoholic father and witnessing his mother be raped by several men. That's enough to do severe damage to a growing mind. You would think something like that would keep someone away from anything self-destructive like that but that isn't always the case. However, I believe that a horrific past will never be an excuse for someone's toxic actions. 

Now I'm not here to simply pick apart Hardin's' toxic personality, I'm here to also pick apart Tessa’s. Tessa cries a lot and she keeps going back to Hardin even though she knows the lovey-dovey Hardin disappears the second Tessa says the wrong thing. Of course, going back to the abuser is easier than finding someone new. Especially after the abuser isolates you from friends and family (I don't really care about the family part because Tessa's mom was abusive in her own way). The part that annoys me is that every time Tessa acts like she really doesn't want to be around Hardin anymore she goes right back to him the second he's angry and drunk. She is warned several times by her friends and even Hardin himself that he will hurt her and in Hardin's words he will "Ruin her." She was very paranoid about Hardin cheating on her if the "slut" (lord help us) of the story was even in the same building as Hardin. More on that later.  

Like Hardin, you could say Tessa’s personality could be because of her childhood as well. Like Hardin, Tessa grew up with an alcoholic father until she was ten. Then she grew up groomed to have the perfect life as an adult. The perfect career, the perfect husband, and the perfect attitude. If anything was less then perfect her mother would criticize Tessas' actions or appearance. That is enough to make anyone willing to do whatever it takes to please other people. It also made Tessa a bit of a control freak at times. This is also why Tessa feels the need to constantly think insulting things about the way other female characters dress, act, and overall present themselves. So much for Girl Love. 

Something that I would like to touch on briefly is the use of Tessa’s full name Theresa. When Hardin first calls Tessa Theresa she tells the reader that the name Theresa reminds her of her father whom we later learn was an alcoholic. Hardin, despite saying he doesn't drink at the beginning of the book proves otherwise. He is continuously getting drunk because of Tessa (or so he says). He calls her Theresa just like her father did which allows us to draw parallels between the two men. There are two reasons why I only wanted to mention this subject briefly. One being that Tessa’s father is not blamed for the reason behind Tessas' dislike for the name in the Wattpad addition. The second reason is that later Tessa tells Hardin that only "family and friends" can call her Theresa. So either that was a mistake on Anna Todd's part or Tessa just wanted to remind Hardin that he was neither at first because she does let him call her Theresa later on. 

Alright now onto the topic of slut-shaming. Like most books originating from Wattpad there was, of course, our "slut" or as I like to say "girl who was sleeping with a guy before the main character appeared and now all the sudden she's expected to back off". The character in question goes by the name of Molly. Of the little group of "friends" Tessa finds herself involved with, Molly is the character that will sleep with any guy in the story including Hardin. Molly sleeping around isn’t something I take issue with, it's the fact that Tessa and Steph (Molly's friend and Tessas' roommate) continuously slut-shame her for sleeping around with Hardin when he never stated that he and Tessa were exclusive and when it's known that Hardin sleeps around with whoever he wants. Of course, he doesn't get shamed for it through. Tessa is only ever warned that that is something he just does. Which is totally an ok thing to do if you have a little extra between your legs.

Then, of course, the big plot twist at the end of the book (not the Wattpad version) is that Tessa and Hardin’s entire relationship was based on a bet Hardin and every member of this “friend” group made. The bet was started because at the beginning of the book Tessa had mentioned being a virgin despite having a longtime boyfriend. So the race was on between Hardin and Zedd (a character I actually liked) to see who could take Tessa’s virginity first. The icing on the cake is that whoever takes Tessa’s virginity has to have proof, which in Hardin’s case are some bloody sheets and a used condom. Disgusting to say the least. To keep Tessa from finding out about the bet Hardin convinces everyone to keep their traps shut and even went so far as to get into a fight with Zedd. Despite Hardin’s noble efforts, Tessa does find out because she goes to meet up with Steph and finds everyone else there too. Molly leads the group in forcing Hardin to spill the beans. And because Tessa has some sense, after all, she wants out of the relationship. For some psychotic reason, Hardin thought that if the two lived together Tessa would be alright with the fact that their relationship was based off a bet. Like he genuinely believed that as long as they were living together in an apartment where both of their names were on the lease Tessa would be like “LOL this kind of thing happens all the time so of course, I’ll stay with you.” How delusional do you have to be?

I want to point out that this book was (according to the Kindle app on my table) 585 pages. That’s a pretty beefy book for its genre. What’s ridiculous though is that there are three more books in the series PLUS a fourth prequel book that is told by Hardin (an engrossing read I’m sure). I could understand two books in a series and then maybe a prequel but anything more kind of just feels a little unnecessary. I’m also very curious as to how on earth this book is going to be a successful movie. I think it could be if they get rid of the slut-shaming and Hardin’s entire personality. As in making him a lot less crazy. Keep his tragic childhood and maybe even his drinking problems, but leave the manipulation and if-a-guy-even-looks-at-Tessa-I’ll-break-his-face attitude in the book. I don’t mind a little bit of protectiveness in a relationship, but damn that was not it sis.

I might read the second book just to see how long Tessa stays mad at Hardin (if it’s for the same amount of time as the thousands of times she was mad at him in After I’m guessing they’ll be back together by Chapter Three). The only way this series could get any better would be if Tessa and Hardin get some therapy as individuals and then maybe some as a couple.

What did you think about the book? Do you think Tessa will hold out on Hardin until Chapter Three or will she gain some kind of self-respect and get a restraining order? Feel free to comment your thoughts below!  

[fogmongers]

                                          L  A  N  E    K  A  T  Z .                          history major.                                           dorming  with  Robin.                              skater (amateur).    photographer (amateur).    musician (amateur).

a restless hipster born to an aggressively patriotic cop and his stepford wife in nowheresland, montana, the only thing that ever stood between lane and his parents throwing down to hell was his older brother and unaccredited role model jack: the perfect boy, and the only mediator empathetic and patient enough to not only suffer the arguments of ethics between his parents and their unfavorite child, but also to defuse them.

jack had the philosophical savvy to understand and relate to lane, but at the end of the day, didn’t have the passion or endurance to live the peace-loving ideology they discussed. loyal to a fault and desperate to make his insecurely lower-class parents proud in wake of lane growing up to be a smelly hippie who brought shame to the family in their rural town, jack enlisted in the army at 18, very much against Lane’s pleas advice, leaving his little brother feeling tremendously betrayed.

already showing early signs of manic depression in his teens, the feelings of angst and anxiety caused by and for jack led to lane losing his self-preservation instinct. his high school years would see him acting on his impulses of hyper-sexuality and letting his mood swings and irritability turn him into a toxic friend. he had days where he was endearingly quiet and earnest, but switched to moods of reckless thrill-seeking decadence, or venomous, moody irritability with no warning or signal of how he would feel at any particular moment. became a serial dater who got away with breaking hearts because he had the veneer of a sweet artist--- wrote a few songs and poems for girls, always taking candid photographs of happy times and posting them with lovely captions, knows how to give a good, personal compliment when he wants to--- but he wound up being kind of isolated by the end of his senior year after girls started talking to each other about his behavioral patterns and nowadays he doesn’t have many friends to visit back in montana.

his home life was an even larger abyss, especially around the times his brother would come home. with each subsequent visit, jack became more visibly hollow. everyone could tell that he lost the shine in his smile, and it was clear that his mind was somewhere else during conversations, even before you told him that your girlfriend left you for your best friend and he smiled and said “I’m so happy for you.” 

when efforts to talk to jack again became increasingly futile and frustrating, no one in the family was able to cope constructively. while his parents promptly Bottled That Shit Right Up and, to this day, actively deny any of jack’s visible trauma, lane has reacted with a lot of emotions and crying and lashing out and, to this day, is not finished “grieving.” and it leads to a lot of tension between him and his parents. their relationship for most of hi high school life consisted only of radio silence and arguments– especially between lane and his dad, who wanted him to Man Up, stop “reaching for shit to get upset about” and “making up problems” and thought it was time for him to get his act together and stop partying so much, get more controlled like his brother, talk back less like his brother, put down the camera and guitar and join a sports team--- start thinking about his future.

it all built up to the peak of one typical argument about how shallow they are vs. how bratty he is, and his father declared that the family has been expecting lane to enlist at the end of high school to learn respect and discipline if he wants to keep his room in their house, and after lane lashed out, his dad raised his hand to hit him.

lane flinched away and the heat of the moment was cut soon enough for him to lower his arm, but the general threat of physical abuse is still there every time lane sees his dad, and the one time he tried to bring it up his dad denied that it ever happened--- basically tries to gaslight him into thinking he’s just overreacting and blowing things out of proportion and all in all the relationship has lost all hope. within a month after the incident, he stopped talking to his dad entirely.

his mom was, fortunately, there to witness the situation, and is still outwardly in denial about the whole ordeal, but she was sympathetic enough to keep them separated for the rest of lane’s childhood and support her son when preferred to go to college than boot camp. she helped him fill out his applications and apply for financial aid knowing, deep down, that she probably wouldn’t see him again after he pulled out of the driveway and headed to rainier the next year.

persona:

your standard artsy, pretentious white boy. fake-deep entry-level philosopher, hiding any vulnerability behind a fort of irony and alleged self-awareness. the guy “sarcastically” playing early 2000′s indie-pop hits on acoustic guitar in the quad because he won’t admit that he earnestly likes the sincerity of songs. teasing/negging girls who instagram pictures of their food and judging people for scrolling through their phones in public when they should be paying attention to him. would have dread locks if he went to college just ten years ago. wears his ziggy stardust or velvet underground tee shirts on the anniversaries of bowie & lou reed's deaths and mourns artists like them belligerently publically. reads sartre & marx in crowded spaces with the book cover as visible as possible. 

a walking contradiction. uncontrollable mood swings. he flips between extreme arrogance and worrysome levels of self-deprecation at the strum of a chord. an alluring and unpredictable mine field of a person, flipping the switch between boughts of wrath and guilt, ecstatic passion and dreadful apathy, tyranny and self-harm. a rebellious party boy, very popular for a loner, with boyish charm and intrigue. but he’s much more self-aware than he used to be--- after realizing that he had no friends’ houses to stay at in his senior year of high school because he pushed everyone away, he tries much harder to be a better friend to people, both out of the need for self-preservation since he can’t spend summer breaks or holidays in montana anymore, and also out of a genuine empathy and understanding of other people’s behavior and feelings that he had to learn the hard way. 

grew up extremely passionate about studying history; refuses to admit that it’s not really his thing anymore. constantly triggered by his own textbooks. he would really do better in some philosophy or literature or psychology (or being confident enough in his own potential to major in photography and grow up to be the war photographer he was born to be), but he’s developed a masochistic streak in recent years.

attached at the guts to robin dundee. they have a complicated friendship with, but robin’s overpowering energy kind of forces lane to default to being calmer to balance him out. the boys are always saying they’re going to start a band together but can never decide what kind since they’re never interested in the same extremely specific and obscure sub-genre at the same time (one week robin will say they should be a dark vaudevillian cabaret goth band while lane insists that they should play ethereal folk and by the time one of them gets into the other’s taste, the latter has already moved on to psychobilly) and they always push away each other’s recruits to the band since all of lane’s friends find robin too psychotic and anyone robin attracts finds lane too pissy and sappy. 

wanted connections:

short-lived relationships or flings that ended ambiguously or badly because he’s kind of hard to handle for long periods of time. demure or ditzy/non-threatening friends who let him feel like the mischievous one for once (he tends to flirt with these kinds of people). unrequited crushes (on either side, but he should also have a huge crush on annona). dealers, or friends/clients of his dealer who he smokes with. a party squad. a white boy skater/weed/videogame squad (COUGH nate/sid/robin/lane what COUGH). someone who’s intrigued by his undiagnosed psyche and just wants to get close to him to figure him out - or - who finds him boring because they already have him figured out. people who are begrudgingly friends with him because he workshops and photographs their art for their portfolios (maybe someone whose name sounds like mattah sarhews). a friend of that friend whom he doesn’t realize is gay and keeps flirting with because he thinks she’s playing hard to get and just has a deadpan sarcastic sense of humor. someone whose family he spends breaks with (i’m assuming he usually winds up spending them with his fling at the time but a friend who he can consistently stay with would be good too), or someone who also on campus when school’s out; bonus points if they only talk when they’re having heart-to-hearts on the empty grounds. activists who recognize his energy and want to mobilize him (it’s tk i’m talking about tk @ nina bring tk to rainier please). good influence friends who are understanding of his behavior. someone who’s a little too forgiving of him and winds up getting stepped on because they assure him he’s safe to be emotional around them. bad influence friends who push him to act more like robin. enemies who do not have any patience for him or his antics, or anyone who actively tells people about what a bastard he is. maybe someone from his old school who he’s burned?

[slashersrus]

Jerome Valeska x Reader - Split Part 1

Reader grew up in the circus with Jerome. She has a split personality and Jerome helps her with it.

Warning - Mentions of abuse, swearing.

A/N - I really loved the concept of this imagine, however I was really sick when I wrote it so I'm sorry if it's not very good. It ended up being very long because I was stuck in bed with nothing to do, so it's gonna be in three parts. 

PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

Blood. So much blood. The sticky, crimson liquid covered her from head to toe, a second skin attached to her body. She could feel it cascading down her arms, dripping from her finger tips and staining the already murky carpet. Two bodies lay, cradled together hopelessly, blank eyes glazed over as they stared at the ceiling in horror. Two lovers torn away from this miserable world. Her glossy eyes glazed with tears, the salty liquid swimming down her bloody cheeks freely.

"What did you do?" She brokenly whispered, her emotions hitting her like a tidal wave as she realised what she had done.

"No no no no no please!" She frantically pleaded even though she knew there was no way to reverse what had been done.

They deserved it.

Crying out, she pushed the thought out of her mind, racing to the small bathroom in her dingy trailer. Cramming into the small space, hazardly turning the sink tap on she soaked her face, desperately trying to remove her parents blood from her face. She knew why she had done it, why she brutally murdered the only family she had, she knew exactly why. They beat her. Black bruises covered every inch of her pale body, her face sickly thin from starvation. They didn't feed her, they didn't want her. Her best friend being the only one who cared, the only one who fed her what little scraps he could get, her ginger protector. Her boyfriend.

Successfully cleansing her face of her sin, her chaotic mind stood still, the realisation of what she had done fully sinking it causing her shaking body to tremble violently. She needed help, she needed Jerome. Racing to throw on a large coat, successfully hiding the blood stained clothes, she climbed out the back window not wanting to risk being seen.

Ducking her head down, her midnight locks hiding her face, she rushed to the trailer not far from hers. Weaving in and out, she finally spotted her destination, without hesitation she rushed up and banged on the door. Fists assaulting the weak material, her eyes frantically looking around for onlookers. She knew Lila would be out, she always went out on a night.

"What-?" Jerome answered, visibly annoyed by the persistent knocking, freezing when he saw her tear stained face.

"I need help J." The girl muttered, trying and failing to quell the onslaught of tears which sprung from her swollen eyes.

"Y/N?! What's wrong?! Did you they hit you again?!" His voice was frantic, taking on a darker tone as he mentioned the abuse. He knew about Y/N's parents, about them hitting her, his mom was the same.

"No, I-I-she I..." Her voice broke and cracked as she stuttered, having no clue how to tell him what she did. She was a monster.

"Shh calm down, calm down. Come inside. Come on." Speaking gently, he led her inside his trailer, broken beer bottles littering the floor. Feeling a small pull on her arm, she leaned into it, relaxing slightly as he pulled her into his warm chest, his hand cupping her head softly. Whispering reassurances, he waited until she calmed down before he spoke again.

"What happened?" His tone was so careful, he knew of her predicament but he didn't care, he stayed with her through it all.

"I-I killed them. I didn't mean to I just, I mean they were yelling and yelling and mom grabbed me and then I blacked out and they were dead. I killed them Jerome. I let her out and she killed them." The fragile girl cried, collapsing into him as he slowly lowered her to the ground, clutching her sobbing form.

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay. It wasn't YOU." He lay his chin on her head, rubbing her arms and comforting her the best he could.

Y/N knew it was not her, it was the other her, but she still felt guilty. Ever since she was nine, she had another personality, a twisted psychotic personality. She liked to hurt people, she revelled in it. Jerome was the only person who knew, he helped her with it, helped her come to terms with the fact there was two versions of her and she couldn't control it. He loved Y/N, he told her countless times, he loved every part of her including her other half. Y/N loved him back, all of her did, including her psychotic side. It was scary how obsessed the psychotic side was with him, it did reassure her that she would never hurt him however. She knew that he was slightly psychotic, that's probably why she likes him so much, he was always loving to her.

"We need to hide the bodies, doll. You will be sent to Arkham." He broke the silence, her body curled into him more as the thought of going to Arkham caused shivers to run up her spine.

Nodding her head dejectedly, distraught with the whole situation, Y/N let him pull her up to her feet. Caressing her cheeks, he smiled his award winning smile, wiping her tears with his thumbs as he gazed into her eyes lovingly.

"It will be okay, I promise." Bending forward, he kissed her deeply, sighing sadly into her mouth before pulling away causing her to whine slightly at the loss of his lips.

"I'm sorry gorgeous, I really am, but I need the other you. I don't want you to have to see this, getting rid of their bodies, you shouldn't have to see that. So please, trust me, I won't let anything bad happen." Y/N froze at his words, slowly looking up at him to see he was being one hundred percent genuine.

"O-Okay. I love you." She stuttered, looking down to the ground not wanting to have to do this but knowing it was the right thing to do.

"I love you too, doll." He cupped her cheeks, watching as her brow furrowed in distraught. Leaning forward, he kissed her again, this time hard and passionate. Pulling her into him, he deeped the kiss. Feeling him pick her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her into a wall, never breaking the kiss.

Feeling her mind snap, everything inside her turning cold, her instincts and thoughts changing, she gasped into the kiss as her personality changed. Kissing back with just as much lust, Y/N pulled him into her more and scraped her nails through his hair causing him to groan. Pulling away from her, breathing heavy, he curiously glanced into her eyes and smirked before letting her drop to the ground.

"You just gonna leave a girl flustered like that?" Y/N smiled devilishly at him, titling her head and staring at him in anticipation.

"I just needed to get you to come out, I didn't want her to have to force you out, and I know you appear when I get like that." He spoke, his charming voice coated in  smugness. His words confused and angered Y/N. Why did he want her to show up?

"Well since I'm here and not my goody goody side..." She trailed off seductively as she grabbed his neck and kissed him again, only for him to pull away and condescendingly shake a finger at her.

"Ah ah ah. You caused a mess. A mess we need to clean up." He raised his eyebrows, her confusion and anger growing.

"What mess?!" She snapped, frustrated at his smug behaviour.

"You killed your parents, we need to clean that up. Can't have you going to Arkham, your other side would not survive." He spoke, calmly whilst pulling her out into the night and towards her trailer, the scene of her crimes.

"And? They deserved it! They just kept nagging and nagging and nagging." Y/N snarled, trying to hide her true feelings. Jerome thought she didn't care for her other personality, that she wanted her gone, he was wrong. The only reason her psychopathic side showed up in the first place was to protect her. Her mind was too fragile, too close to breaking point after the years of abuse she suffered, and then she showed up. She cared about her innocent side, that's why she killed their parents.

"I know they deserved it. We can't just let their corpses be found however. Come on." He tugged on her arm, pulling her into the dingy trailer, quickly shutting the creaky door behind them to avoid people seeing the carnage that lay inside.

"Wow. You must have been very, very mad." He muttered, kneeling down next to her mothers mutilated body.

Giggling slightly, she curtsied before responding, "My best work."

Glancing over his shoulder at her, he chuckled sinisterly and began to look for a black garbage bag, beginning to clean up the mess as Y/N joined him.

Snapping his head up, Jerome's eyes widened as he saw the trailer door swing open, watching as Lila strutted inside. Y/N glancing up and also freezing at the sight of Jerome's mother. They had cleaned up, stuffing both her parents into two garbage bags, their heads clearly visible at the top.

"Dear? Are you in here?" Lila called out in a sultry voice causing Jerome and Y/N to gag.

"You're sleeping with my father?" Y/N demanded to know, walking out of the shadows and blocking Lila's view of Jerome and the dead bodies.

"Ugh, it's you. The whore my son likes to hang out with. Yes sweetie, I'm sleeping with your father. Now run along and fetch him for me." She spat, glaring at Y/N's rigid form.

"What did you just call her?" Jerome spoke dangerously, stepping into view and allowing the bodies to be on full display.

"Jerome what are you-" She trailed off as she saw the corpses lay behind him, opening her painted mouth to scream. Rushing to her and clamping his hand over her mouth, muffling her scream, Jerome glared at his mother as Y/N giggled from behind him. Y/N loved to see Jerome act psychotic. Whilst she had a sweet side and a psychotic side, he was simply insane. He hid his psychotic actions from the innocent Y/N, not showing her that side and showering her with love, but the psychotic side of her knew all about it. Her psychotic side revelled in it, she loved it.

"Ya know, Y/N had the right idea killing her parents. I dunno why I haven't done this sooner." Jerome pondered before grabbing a kitchen knife and stabbing it into his mothers heart, silencing her for good. Letting her lifeless body slump to the ground, he smiled at Y/N manically.

"Oops?"

Skipping up to him, she kissed him hotly as he grabbed her waist and pulled her into him, completely forgetting about the multiple bodies.

Having no idea to the madness which was coming, the fates they would have. They were in Gotham after all.

[sane-in-comparison]

Day six

General update: Patton is doing better. He calmed down considerably since yesterday. However, he is not quite okay yet. But, and this is a big one...

Night update: right before curfew we were told that Roman is coming back tomorrow. So Patton is understandably ecstatic. Nothing really happened during the night, but at least that.

Patton caught me answering an ask after curfew and asked me what I was doing, so now he wants to be asked questions too. If you ever feel like it, ask him anything. He’ll be glad to respond. (I’m quoting him from memory, so don’t count on it.)

Breakfast was... interesting. To say the least. Patton barely ate anything. Not out of excitement, I think more out of fear. Logan ate his jelly. Remy was...

Remy was surprisingly calmer. He told me his parents will be stopping by later, to drop by his phone and just say hello. He also told me that “they can get very intense, so be careful around them, alright Virgil? They’re nice, but... a bit much.”

I couldn’t eat either. I felt sick the whole day. But that’s another thing.

As soon as Patton remembered that Roman comes tomorrow he told Remy and I to stay behind and help him decorate. And he really got into it, to judge by the state of our room right now... for reference, Roman’s bed had to be covered in plastic (I don’t know why or how but Patton owns some giant sheets of plastic) just so we could have an extra surface to work on.

I don’t even know what I just got wrapped up in but I managed to convince them to let me dictate the playlist, so now Patton is screaming Bring Me To Life for the fifth time today and Remy is getting pissed, and this situation probably shouldn’t be as funny as it is.

I hope Remy doesn’t notice that I’m switching the song to Bring Me To Life all the time just to annoy him.

Yeah, Remy’s parents stopped by. They’re very nice people and... yeah, they can be a bit much. His dad started talking about fidget toys. His mom insisted on helping us. I think Patton appreciated her help, but then again... anybody would.

All I’m saying is that Remy’s parents are genuinely nice people. A bit much, and I can see where Remy got his sass from, but they’re just... really great. I just hope I’ll get to see a Remy similar to them sometime in this life.

“Just so you’d know about Roman,” Patton told me as he was coloring the sign (it says ‘ROMAN’ in huge cursive, courtesy of Remy, and Patton is now drawing filigree and flowers on it in metallic watercolors). “He doesn’t respond well to mundanely said things.”

Mundanely said...?

“Kid lives in a fairy tale,” Remy elaborated. “Speak like you’re in the Renaissance Faire.”

Oh. Okay.

Remy’s dad suggested I play All-Star next.

I’d never thought I would ever see anyone relieved to hear this song. (Don’t worry, I changed back to Bring Me To Life right after. S&P diner style.)

So... yeah. That’s pretty much how we passed the day. Decorating the room for Roman’s return. I have no idea why it’s so necessary, but I did it because Patton asked me to help, and that’s all that matters, I think.

And also because Remy’s parents helped. And they’re incredibly nice people. So there’s that.

Patton is a really good artist, if you’d like to know. He drew the poster over Roman’s bed, so I kinda feel like I know his style already, and it’s really pretty. That’s coming from somebody who can’t draw or understand art at all. But it’s my opinion. Right now he’s painting a magical fairy book castle on a huge piece of paper. It looks...

I have no words other than magical, and I already used it.

“Thanks, Virgil!” Oh no, I spoke out loud. “You know, I had those plastics for forever! My brother is an actor!” I know. Thankfully, I don’t say that part out loud. “I used to do stage props for him when he was in high school and rather recently too, whenever he has a production really. So I keep the plastics around. They’re very handy!”

“A neat freak like you can’t handle without an easy way to clean this mess,” Remy threw. I hope Patton realizes he’s sarcastic.

“Yeah, because you can definitely handle anybody going through a psychotic break without trying to kill them, but we don’t talk about that, now do we Remy?”

“I did not try to kill Roman.”

“No, you only tried to choke him with a pillow is what you tried to-”

“I had no idea what was going on until-”

“Kids, can we please get along for just a couple of hours?” Thank god for Remy’s mom. “Do you need me to give you confiscated fidget spinners as well?”

Well... time to change the song again. I think. Give them something else to focus on.

I’m... sorry I can’t tell you guys anything more. I need to help Patton finish up before curfew, and it’ll take a bit. But I’ll update tomorrow.

And you can ask questions. Ask me or Patton, we don’t care. Just... be nice, yeah? I wouldn’t mind but I think Patton would.

~Virge.