#and here he is acknowledging little old me
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ithilien-writes · 2 days ago
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Ficlet prompt: buddie runs into one of their exes in public
ty so much for this prompt!! 💜 i literally cycled through all the exes in my head and it was really hard to choose tbh
(to anyone reading: these were meant to be quick scenes to help unblock me so please take them in that spirit. ie. this was written really quickly and without much editing. feel free to send me some more!!)
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Buck, Blissful and Blasé [Buck/Eddie, G, ~1k words]
Eddie looks away for two seconds at most, he swears. Just long enough to scan the shelf for the specific detergent Buck always buys. He doesn't actually know the brand off the top of his head, but he knows it has a blue cap. So he scans the shelf for blue, finds the one he needs, and when he looks back down... Joy is gone.
His heart immediately races, but he only has to look down the aisle to spot her again, thankfully. She's just a few feet away, really, towards the other end of the aisle, and there's a woman crouched down to talk to her. Eddie all but jogs over to them, heart still a little in his throat.
"Hey, what did we say about running off?" he says when he reaches her, trying for stern but coming out a little panicked still. He reaches down and lifts her up into his arms and the woman she was with stands back up as well.
"Sorry, about that-" he starts to say, before he actually sees the woman's face, then- "Abby?"
She blinks at him from behind her glasses and he can almost see her mind whirring, trying to place him. It doesn't look like she's successful.
"Hi," she offers tentatively. "I don't- sorry, I don't think I-"
"Eddie," he offers, adjusting Joy in his arms and feeling supremely awkward. "Eddie Diaz. I used to be at the 118? We met when, uh-"
Recognition finally clicks in behind her eyes.
"Oh my God, the train collision," she breathes out. "You're the one who saved Sam's life."
Eddie huffs a little, looking away from her suddenly emotional gaze.
"That was all Buck," he says honestly, trying not to let the old frustration creep into his voice at the thought of it. It all happened years ago now.
He catches Abby smile a little at the mention of Buck, then she shakes her head slightly.
"I can't believe you remembered my name after all this time," she says. "You must really have a knack for that."
"Oh," Eddie says, somewhat awkwardly, "That's-"
He trails off, not sure how exactly to say, actually, I remember your name because my husband was still in love with you when we first met and he used to talk about you all the time.
He's saved - in a manner of speaking - from actually having to come up with a coherent response though. Because right at that moment, he sees Abby's eyes widen, and there's suddenly a very familiar voice behind him.
"Strawberry was on sale, so I got the six pack," Buck tells him, before easily taking Joy from his hands with a soft, "hey Sweetheart, come here."
Eddie gives him a beat, and then, sure enough-
"Abby? Oh my God. What are you doing here?"
He immediately moves to hug her - a little clumsily with only one arm free, Joy tucked between them - and Abby hugs him back, though she does appear slightly shell-shocked by his sudden appearance.
"We're in town visiting my brother," she answers his question, as Buck pulls back again.
The three of them just stand there for a moment then, seemingly at a loss for what else to say, until Abby glances between Eddie and Buck, and Buck catches the motion, jumping back in to make introductions.
"Oh uh, you- so I guess you remembered Eddie," he says, seemingly acknowledging the fact that they had already been in conversation when he walked up. "Uh, and- and this is our daughter, Joy."
Then, to Joy- "Joy, honey, this is my friend Abby."
Joy peaks her head back out from where she'd tucked it into Buck's neck as soon as he'd grabbed her from Eddie, and then tentatively smiles at Abby, who grins back at her.
"Hi Joy," she says. There's some sort of wistful emotion in her eyes when she looks from his daughter back to Buck that Eddie immediately - and probably irrationally - dislikes.
"Joy," she repeats again, still looking at Buck this time. "I love that."
"Yeah, well," Buck says, laughing a little and playfully tickling Joy in his arms to get her to laugh too, "we feel a lot of it, when she's around. So it's pretty apt."
"I'll bet," Abby replies warmly.
She watches them for a moment as Buck gets a little caught up playing with Joy and forgets he was having an adult conversation. Eddie's used to it. It happens... well. A lot.
"Well, I don't want to keep you guys," Abby says eventually, drawing Buck's attention back, "but it was so great to see you. We should get dinner while I'm in town."
"Yeah," Buck says, just as Eddie adamantly thinks, No thanks. "Yeah, definitely."
Abby pats his arm as she moves past him to leave and Buck watches her go with a look on his face that Eddie can't immediately interpret. It makes him a little nervous.
"We're not really gonna have dinner with them, right?" he asks, and it's at least enough to have Buck turning back towards him.
"What?" he says, like he didn't hear the question. But then before Eddie can repeat himself- "No, that's just- I'm pretty sure that's just something people say."
Eddie still can't place the emotion on Buck's face though, so he asks, a little tentative, "you okay, bud?"
The weird expression disappears as Buck finally looks at him properly, then down at Joy, tickling her again just to hear her giggle.
"Yeah, no, I just- that was so wild," he says. "I haven't thought about Abby in ages."
He tosses Joy up and spins her around so that she's riding his shoulders now, towering above the stacks, and they head off down the aisle again, already back to being preoccupied by which cereal to choose this week. Eddie shakes his head, watching them fondly for a moment before retrieving their neglected cart and heading off in the opposite direction.
He wonders what produce is on sale today.
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mioakem · 23 hours ago
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going over this vid
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he finally apologized for the r-slur after days of backlash for it, gotta give at least a little bit of props for that ig. personally i’m not in a place to accept that apology so everyone who was affected by that is entitled to their own decision
he starts off by talking about the pedo jokes, which, honestly, yeah he has a right to be mad about that, not gonna sugar coat it it’s not okay to make those jokes about anyone. but he also keeps on using clips of tubbo saying “tommy’s best friend” when tubbo has repeatedly asked to be seen as his own person in this situation
then my least favorite part of the video, talking about the misogyny. funnily enough, he completely skips past the part where Tommy talks about Caiti and how horribly dream and is friends treated her and handled that situation. Yes dream, there is proof of your misogyny, it’s all over the internet, everyone saw it last year. dream is misogynistic and that is simply a fact based on the way the George situation was handled
he then brings up how tommy interviewed sapnap and tried to interview george, saying that his hatred towards them is disingenuous. gonna give my own opinion here but im pretty sure tommy was not trying to be friendly with them and was actually looking to make fun of them, just a thought
again brings up logan paul, we went over this months ago don’t need to talk more about it but apparently that’s all dream can talk abt
brings up old clips of tommy praising dream, honestly just a dickhead move because those are all from years ago. like woah the kid who used to look up to you so much hates you now as an adult what were you trying to achieve with that?
talks about tommy’s merch company, don’t know about this situation so i won’t talk about it but ill look more into it. plugs his own merch
makes fun of tommy for saying he harassed Sarah, saying that he’s being ridiculous and he only sent paragraphs of messages criticizing her son. brings up how tommy mad fun of dreams stutter and how that was what the message was about
again, here’s where i take big issue, says he didn’t treat tommy like a kid but rather as an equal. never ever should you listen to a kid when they tell you to treat them like an adult. you are the adult here, he was the kid, he wasn’t one of your twenty year old friends, he was 16. speaking from my own personal experiences with having older friends, I would never want them to treat me as equal, as i am 16 years old and they are 21. it’s ok to be friends with someone younger than you but you have to acknowledge that they’re not adults and you can’t treat them as such, even if they want you to, you never know if they’ll regret it once they’re older
finishes it off by saying that he wants tommy to delete every video with him in it if he’s so mad at him
my thoughts:
i think he’s being reasonable about the pedo jokes but that’s about it. there are other categories that fall under maybe reasonable like the merch company thing, but you also have to recognize that tommy does not run these companies, he’s not the one controlling it. i think the old clips was just scummy, again, it’s just showing that he used to look up to you but now that he’s older he hates you, what is that meant to prove? i think he also needs to stop talking about the Sarah thing. it made her uncomfortable, it made her feel bad, it was an attack at her and tommy’s relationship, and dream owes an apology. it was weird and he shouldn’t have gone and messaged tommy’s mother, but he still refuses to acknowledge that.
though the video has a few reasonable points, i feel like it really just falls through with the misogyny point. george gropped Caiti and dream helped cover it up and run Caiti off the internet, thats why he called him misogynistic, because you only participate in behavior like that if you have a hatred towards women and girls.
also, ludwig went live mere hours ago talking abt how dream called his friend a whore and then confused her with another girl he also called a whore. how much girls must you call whores to the point where you start to confuse them?
those are my thoughts, again, maybe just watch the video yourself because i’m sure my commentary contains bias. fuck dream and have a lovely night ❤️
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rederiswrites · 2 days ago
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Conversations with Lace
[now up on AO3]
“So you’re gonna go with ‘Rook’, huh?” Lace said it through a mouthful of brown bread and cheese.
“Sure.” Arden scooped another glob of polishing compound up and started buffing out the wing of his knee armor. There was a dent he’d need to have seen next time they were in a big town. The smell of linseed oil and tallow was familiar and grounding.
“You don’t have to. Varric gives everyone nicknames. You can ignore it.”
“No, I uh…I like it.” He scowled down at his work. “Kaffas. This strap is going to break, soon. I think I’m out of replacements.”
“Fine then. Rook.” Lace grinned.
They sat for a minute in companionable silence, Lace finishing her roll, Arden rubbing the polishing cloth in practiced circles over his armor. They’d gotten close quickly over the last couple months, and not just because they were together nearly every day. Both had open, friendly natures, and as they crisscrossed northern Thedas, they’d whiled away the leagues in talk and laughter. 
They’d been staggering drunk together in Starkhaven, crawling from bar to bar while Varric took care of business in the palace, and surprised the shit out of would-be muggers. They’d hung upside down in snares together for two hours once after an encounter with one of Solas’s agents. They’d pretended to be Carta thugs for a few days once, while Varric tried to wheedle information out of a provincial Altus landowner, and mocked each other’s acting for weeks. 
“Never had a nickname before,” Arden said abruptly.
“What, never? Really?”
“I mean, basic name-calling stuff from the other boys as a kid, but I don’t think that’s the same idea.”
Lace looked surprised. “Your parents didn’t call you something? Like my ma calls me Sweet Pea, that sort of thing?”
“Nope. Just Arden. Young Master Mercar or Arden Maximus if I was about to be in trouble.”
“Wait. Your middle name is Maximus?” A positively evil grin was starting to spread across Lace’s freckled face.
Arden rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, go ahead. I’m well aware it’s incredibly pretentious.”
“Maximus!” By now she was giggling madly.
“Welcome to my childhood.”
“Maker!” Lace giggled at Arden’s disapproving look. “Alright, then, I’ll use Rook. Maximus.”
….
“Do you think they’re real fish?” Arden asked.
They stood side by side, staring into the fish tank. It was beautiful, but Arden found it unsettling. The glass and water distorted the light and made distances strange, but Arden couldn’t decide if he could see a back wall to the tank.
“I mean, I don’t know, but that one’s a Calenhad sunfish. I’ve caught plenty of them. Stupid little wastes of bait.”
“Yeah but what I mean is, is it a real Calenhad sunfish or whatever, or just…I don’t know, like a magic picture of one?”
“No idea. This place is weird.”
“I mean,” Arden went on, “if they’re real, what do they eat? There’s not even a place to put food in.”
Lace glanced up at the corners of the room. “Huh. You’re right. Maybe they’re real, but they live on magic. I dunno.” She left Arden scowling at the fish, and left to poke around the rest of the room. “You thinking of setting up your stuff in here?”
“What? No! Why would I do that?” Arden sounded startled.
“I thought maybe the fish would remind you of the coast.”
“Yeah, a nice seaside vacation at Marnus Pell inside a fish tank. No, I’ll find a nice little room with no windows and no weirdly endless fish tanks and pretend I’m somewhere normal.”
Lace shrugged. “Suit yourself. I like the old sunroom or whatever it was. The dirt makes me feel better.”
Arden grunted an acknowledgement, still frowning at the darting fish.
….
The grinding of stone shifting against stone was deafening for a few seconds. As the last echoes died away, Arden and Lace grinned at each other.
“I did it, Rook!”
“Maferath’s ass, that’s amazing.”
“What about that one? Can you move that one? If it was just a little taller, we could skip up to the next turn of the path.”
Lace concentrated for a second.
“I don’t think so,” she said. “Doesn’t feel right.” Arden gave her a quizzical look. “Don’t ask me to explain. I don’t know. There’s just…a feeling. Like some stone talks to me and some is just…stone, I guess.”
Arden shrugged. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Give me a second,” Lace said. She moved slowly along the base of the hill, eyes narrowed in concentration. Arden trotted after her, keeping an eye on the woods. Nowhere was completely safe in Arlathan, in his experience.
“Wait! Here!” Lace held out her hands and scowled fiercely, and just ahead of them, a series of rocks rumbled and groaned into motion. When they finally stopped, there was a rough giant’s staircase up to the next turning of the path. “I did it!”
“Fuck yes you did!” Arden’s smile crinkled his eyes up and pulled in the scar on his cheek. “That’s amazing, Lace!” He put out an elbow, leaning on her head in what had become a habitual gesture of teasing affection. “Oh! Uh–” Arden let out something between a whoop and a yelp and staggered sideways.
Lace reached for him, grabbing his arm before he could fall. 
“Nope–whup!” Arden listed a couple steps forward, then barely caught himself before falling backwards. “I don’t–” His eyes rolled up in his head, and he keeled over. Spongy wood chips and rollie pollies scattered in a tiny explosion where his head hit a rotten log.
“Rook! Maker’s breath, Rook!” Lace rushed to kneel next to him, grabbing his shoulder. This time, though, she saw the ghostly lines of blue spreading from her hands. She jerked them back as if burned, scrambling away from Arden on hands and knees. “Maker’s breath!”
“Fine! I’m…fine,” Arden said, very unconvincingly. “Hoooo…gimme…second…” On the third try, he managed to roll up on an elbow. “Kaffas. Vishante kaffas.”
“Lyrium! It’s like I’m infused with lyrium! Oh, Maker, he’s lyrium addled. What if it’s permanent! What have I done?”
“Noo I’m betting. Bettering. Getting…better. Getting better! See?” Arden managed to push himself up until he was sitting. “Vishante kaffas,” he repeated, cradling his head in his hands. “‘S like I’m drunk.”
“Sweet Andraste, you scared the shit out of me,” Lace breathed, clutching the ground at her knees.
Arden snorted. “Pretty funny, though.”
“No, it is not! I could have really hurt you! Lyrium is dangerous, Rook!”
“Come on. Li’l bit funny. Ass over teakettle…lookit–lookit these poor bugs.” He gestured to the scattering of spongy orange wood and insects around him. “Like a Titan. Fall on their city–boom!” Arden giggled, ending on a loud snort.
“How in Thedas am I going to get you home?” Lace moaned. “Can’t even touch you. Andraste, give me strength.” She sat back, resigned to waiting it out. 
Arden’s head lolled to the side, and he snapped it back upright, wheezing with quiet laughter.
….
“You’re staring,” Lace said quietly.
Arden turned his head away from the other corner of the great hall, where Lucanis was cooking, to look down at her. “I’m not allowed? He’s gorgeous.”
“Yeah? Bellara’s gorgeous. Neve’s gorgeous. I know you like girls, too.”
“Sure. You’re gorgeous. What’s your point?”
“My point is–wait, I’m–oh gosh, no, I’m not–nope! Nope, I’m not letting you distract me like that! My point is that you’re staring at him specifically. Not just because he’s gorgeous.”
“Maybe so.” Arden returned his attention to Lucanis, who was busy chopping vegetables with hypnotic skill.
“Rook, he’s possessed! He’s a possessed assassin!”
“I know. And he’s mourning his grandmother, or at least I’m pretty sure he is. You kind of have to guess, with him. And he’s just been imprisoned and tortured for a year, and now he’s living in our pantry like a rat terrier. And also I’m kind of his boss? Or his employer. That isn’t actually paying him.” Arden pulled a wry face. “Don’t worry. I’m just enjoying looking.”
“I’m not convinced,” Lace said. “Plus, he’s looking, too.”
“He–” Arden sat up suddenly, banging his shin against the little table between them. “Kaffas!” He grabbed his leg, rubbing vigorously. “He’s looking?”
Lace sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you should say more. Really?”
“Mmmmm. Yes, he’s looking at you, sometimes. Why do you care, hmm? I thought you were just enjoying the aesthetics?”
“Alright. There might be a little, tiny crush.”
“I knew it!”
Lucanis glanced over at Lace’s outburst, and she waved him away, smiling unconvincingly. He watched them for a moment longer before turning back to his cooking.
“I knew it,” she hissed again, quieter this time. “Rook, you can’t seriously be thinking of…of whatever.”
“No, I know. I know, Lace. That’s why I’m just looking.”
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dewthegay4403 · 1 day ago
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DUDE YESSFF
SILLY YAP SESSION! ALL LOVE! NO HATE! GRAAHHH😼😼
lowkey the fandom always forgets that Nexus is a deteriorating husk of “Moon”. Moon literally was driven to insanity BECSUSE they cared so much about their family. Everyone always puts Moons GOOD actions onto Old Moon, but then brushes away every single little mistake known to mankind onto Nexus. Nexus shouldn’t be viewed as the villain. She should be viewed as a mentally ill character, because that is what she is. She turned to what only can be put as drvgs and a life groping for power because she knew the family would NOT accept her back because of her mental health.
Now I’m not saying the celestial family are the villains in play, but I am also? Eclipses recording showed Moon in a very disturbing state which should have been focused on more than the fact that Moon was going to make plans to kill Ruin or BloodMoon (two known villains/Anti-heros in tsbs. More on that in a second.) Earth wants to be seen as a therapist, and we can see that in the episode “Confronting MOON! In VRChat” Earth gets upset when Moon says she ISN’T a therapist. She says “I will NEVER forgive you for the words you just said to me.” The fandom agrees with Earth, “Moon has no right!” “She was just trying to help!” & xyz were thrown across the fandom, but genuinely most of these were incorrect. If Earth wishes to be viewed as a therapist, she does Infact have to learn to put aside her problems with her patient to actually help them, which she didn’t do. This of course simply reinforces Moons statement that Earth is not in fact a therapist and has a lot more to learn before she can become one. Of course this comes back to show Earth probably couldn’t have helped Moon even if she wanted to. She would’ve had too many difficulties and problems to set aside from Moon before she could’ve listened, learned, and helped. Now, to address something bigger. The whole Moon trying to kill Earth thing. Let’s jump into that.
“Moon KILLS EVERYONE!! In VRChat”
Moon enters the room at 3:55 and it’s quite obvious they’re going to kill someone. They say it’s not their fault if Earth accidentally dies. Skip to 4:30, Moon and Ruin talk about god knows what, their family and Moons insanity til 14:00. That’s about 10 minutes of talking which will provide importance in a second. At 14:00 Moon brings up they’re going to use star power and states they will not hesitate to kill everyone and everything in the room, including earth who is tied up. He actually shoots at 15:30, a minute and a half later. In this minute and a half, Ruin could have been untying Earth to let her go but for whatever reason chose not to. Same thing goes for the him talking to Moon for 10+ minutes instead of letting Earth go.
Now that has been covered, allow me to point out the differences between “Moon tried to kill Earth” and “Moon tried to kill BloodMoon and Earth was in the way”. Moon did not pointedly try to kill Earth. They tried to kill BloodMoon. This is VERY DIFFERENT from them trying to kill Earth. If you say Moon tried to kill Earth, you’re wrong. They tried to kill BloodMoon.
Twisting back to Nexus’ mental health and everyone’s view on it. I’m going to discuss the fandoms view of her mental health next.
Everyone always says “Nexus had no reason to go insane!” “Suns the real one who deserves to go insane!” “Nexus doesn’t deserve to go insane!” “Nexus doesn’t have enough trauma to go insane!” & xyz. Now, here’s where these statements are wrong. Somebody can’t deserve to go insane. They simply do. Insanity is not something that is willing, it’s something that is built up.
Think of it as a beaver dam. The water at first flows smoothly and openly. We’ll acknowledge this as somebody’s thoughts, emotions, and views of certain things. Then, here come the beavers. The event. It doesn’t have to be a big event. It can be little ones that slowly place up a wall. The dam that closes off everything else. Oftentimes the person will bottle everything up. Making the water stop flowing. Over time, the river will rise above the dam, and cracks will begin. This can go on for months, years even. Eventually, the dam will break. Snap. All those emotions and thoughts, and reason will get washed away in the thick of things and the river will swell, flooding the banks which will cause problems. Untreated, this can be incredibly bad for the person and cause them to deteriorate into a husk of the person they once were. This is what happened with Nexus.
I believe the start of the build up of the dam for Nexus would begin at his talk with Old Moon. Where he was told to kill himself for his family’s wellbeing. Reminder that this is fresh after Solars death, so the pressure is still on his shoulders. The build up continues through his breakdown and then we reach his hallucination. This is the point where I think Moons’ dam began to crack, twigs spring out and water slowly begins to flow only to be closed up too soon. We can watch as Moons dam slowly gets flimsy and then breaks from that episode to the Earth and Sun confrontation.
Onto the last part of my yap session. (Ur a real one if u read this far down.) Moons imprisoning which was a BIG SLIP UP.
Honestly, imprisoning Moon in a small cage was the worst thing they could’ve done. Leaving him alone for days, weeks even, with his hallucinations, only popping in every few days just to flat out torment them (Monty.) and continuously compare them to their “superior self” (Sun). Moon even stated that they were “Screaming at nothing and thrashing about” for days on end and Sun paid no mind to it. Which is genuinely surprising because Sun was in this exact position, but instead of paying aid to Moon, he orders the computer to shock him unconscious and walks out not another word nor glance.
God these robots man, THESE ROBOTS GRRR. They’re all flawed so perfectly to antagonize each other but the fandom is so closed minded they can’t sort out that each character has REASON for beings one way or another🙏
in conclusion I miss Nexus and her goofy self and Moon and their stupid braindead self☹️☹️
I miss new Moon
Honestly, I don't care about Nexus but thinking about what happened to New Moon specifically hurts me a little. I just still can’t believe that a character who we knew for a year could just go POOF so randomly and sudden
And the worst part is that everyone in the show acts as if he never existed at all. As if only Nexus existed and everything good he did in his life was actually old Moon
It's weird. I kept hoping for a happy ending for him. I even thought he would eventually just leave with Solar to some random dimension after realizing his mistakes. But unfortunately it seems that the only way for a major character to go off screen is for them to die
Anyway I'm already changing some lore stuff when redesigning characters so have the biggest change so far: my Nexus is alive and "domesticated" (I love domesticated villain trope a lot). He lives in Sun and Moon's basement and only goes outside to get some snacks because he is still very salty about everything that happened. Nice
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thehypnone · 3 days ago
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Symbol on the Surface Chapter 20
WC: 800
Relationship: SwissAlps & the kits
Tags: Transmasc Swiss, 99% Fluff
They close their eyes only after sparing a minute to look at their sleeping kits—the most beautiful babies in the whole universe, if you ask either of them.
Notes: This chapter is short because the exam session at uni is absolutely killing me. That's also why there won't be a chapter next week, but I will do my best to get one out in two weeks, and then continue like normal.
Chapter 1 here or on AO3.
Read chapter 20 under the cut or on AO3.
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After having had the kits grow inside him for seven months, Swiss finds himself uneasy.
Yes, he’s very glad they have been born and are now out and healthy, but since the very idea of their existence has sparked, they’ve been right under his heart. And now?
Now he simply can’t get them close enough.
Both Swiss and Mountain are quite exhausted—as new parents always are—but while the former absolutely crashes at night, the latter stays somewhat alert. That is why one quiet squeak of discomfort is more than enough to wake the earth ghoul up.
Mountain sits up and looks down between himself and his mate to where the kits are. What he notices, though, is Swiss on his side, but leaning over the kits—slightly pressing them into the mattress with his chest.
The squeak must’ve come from Arya, but apart from that the kits aren’t showing any signs of distress. He’s not crushing them, but still, Mountain decides to wake Swiss up, lest he falls further onto them in his sleep and starts actually doing so.
“Swiss? Wake up, darling,” he whispers into the multi ghoul’s ear before giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.
“Hmpf…wha’s wrong?” Swiss mumbles.
“Nothing’s wrong, sorry to wake you,” Mountain calms him right away, but then elaborates, “but you’re squishing our kits a little.”
Once Mountain’s words and the feeling of the kits under him register, Swiss pulls back as if he got burned, his scent immediately turning sour from anxiety.
“No way, I–I’m…I’m a horrible dad, why did–”
“Hey, hey, no,” the earth ghoul stops him before he can start fully spiralling. “Look at them, Swiss.”
The multi ghoul blinks slowly and obliges, looking down.
All three are asleep; Amon and Aelin purring, while Arya is looking only mildly disgruntled. Her little face relaxes once Swiss pulls back, though, and she kicks up a tiny purr of her own soon enough and carries on sleeping.
“Are they crying? Do they look uncomfortable? In pain?” Mountain prompts.
“No…” his mate admits, calmer already.
“They were cozy under you!” the earth ghoul quietly chuckles. “You didn’t hurt them, my heart, and I am absolutely sure you never once will.”
Swiss sighs, nodding. Mountain’s right, of course, but he really is just a ball of anxiety nowadays. The multi ghoul leans over the kits and faceplants into Mountain’s chest, nuzzling into him as his mate chuckles and brings his arms around him.
“It’s alright, my heart,” he assures and comforts him, starting to purr quietly.
“I know, it’s just…scary. They’re so small.”
Mountain hums in acknowledgement, but doesn’t reply. The same thoughts and anxieties have been plaguing him; but now is not the time for a therapy session between them.
“Let’s go back to sleep,” he says instead and Swiss nods against him before pulling back. They close their eyes only after sparing a minute to look at their sleeping kits—the most beautiful babies in the whole universe, if you ask either of them.
In the morning Mountain gets a text from Omega, asking if they’d be alright to have him come over and check up on the kits—they’re a week old now, after all. Neither Swiss nor Mountain particularly like the idea of anyone touching their babies just yet, but they trust Omega and know a check up is a wise idea, so they agree. He comes over around noon and tells the parents that a quick quintessence scan and a lookover will be more than enough, so he doesn’t even have to touch them.
“All good and healthy. You’ve made some adorable looking kits,” Omega praises when he’s done, smiling down at the babies. Aelin lets out a squeak at the compliment, as if agreeing, “and adorable sounding.”
“You should hear them purr,” Swiss giggles and wiggles his eyebrows.
The quintessence ghoul turns to him with disbelief in his eyes. “They’ve purred already?”
“Yes, their second day,” Mountain replies. “Is that not normal?”
“Kits don’t usually start purring so early,” Omega starts, his smile only growing, “the typical age for that is three weeks, sometimes later. Do you want to know why they start early sometimes?”
Swiss and Mountain nod simultaneously.
“Because they feel incredibly safe and are trying to communicate that in the only way their little brains know.”
Swiss and Mountain tear up and start grinning simultaneously.
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Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus @ghoultrifle (if anyone from here wants to be removed lmk, and also if anyone else wants to be added)
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zainnaprollyloveslevi · 17 hours ago
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"Got you, Love."
Satan X Reader
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Summary: Out of pure boredom and maybe out of curiosity, you decided to play a light prank on Satan while he was in the library. However, he manages to turn the tables on you, reminding you why you shouldn't bother the avatar of wrath.
Warning: None, just fluff and no-brain writing. I don't know Satan that well (yes, I HAVE played the game, and I do still play it. I just pay all my attention to Leviathan) so this might be a little OOC. NOT PROOF READ. Short. GENDER NEUTRAL MC/READER
Word Count: 1.1k
Extra: This was a suggestion from tiktok! TYSM FOR BEING PATIENT!!
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You didn't really think this through? Did you?
You sighed as you watched the blonde demon in front of you, a good distance from your sulking form. His pretty lashes crowned his eyes, the green hue seeping through like sunlight through blinds under the light of his own room, reading a book you two bought last week. He's obviously ignoring you. You pout, sigh, anything to get his attention. But alas, you have been reduced to background noises. You give up, resting your chin against the round wooden table. He had cleared out this table, which was once a place where old books were discarded to make way for you.
All you could do was stare at the figure in front of you as he flawlessly ignores you. You thought it was a good idea to prank him a little– just a smidge. He always looked so cool in public, upright and well-put, you wanted to see what it was like to startle him or get a strong reaction out of him that wasn't angry out in public. So, while he was returning the books he read in the library, you decided this would be the perfect moment to startle him. A stack of books rested upon his hand, his arms straight to keep the books steady. He was too absorbed in returning the books he had borrowed to notice your form. You didn't tell him you'd join him in the library. As soon as his hand picked up the book from the pile he was carrying, you jumped out from behind the bookshelf and yelled,
“Boo!”
His shoulders tensed, startled by your sudden presence. Unfortunately, this was enough to send the tower of books he was cradling, tumbling down onto the floor as he took a few steps back. Eyes lingered on the two of you, curious by the sounds of chaos in what was supposed to be a place of silence. A few shushed you two. You chuckled nervously, realizing you might have gone a few steps too far. He slowly turns his head, leering at you from over his shoulders. He was glaring at you angrily. Your fight or flight senses kicked in, and you bolted towards the exit of the library. Eventually, you felt bad, slowly walking towards his room, knocking on his door, apologizing through the solid that blocked you two. And yet, all he did was unlock his door, let it open a little, and go back to his spot, reading his book.
And here you are, regretting your actions from earlier deeply. You decided to try again.
“Satan… I'm sorry…”
Nothing. Not even a hum or a cough, just nothing. He's totally giving you the silent treatment. You sigh, resting your cheek on the old table.
“Sataaaannnn!”
He only blinks and flip the page. You feel the need to be more annoying. You'd find a cat and use that on him but the doors closed behind you as soon as you walked in. Like a boss level room you couldn't exit until you finished the quest. You then sit up.
“Come on, I know you can't ignore me forever!”
He finally puts his book down, you sit up straight thinking it was a sign he was finally acknowledging you, but he instead gets in his bed and covers himself in his blanket. Was he seriously going to sleep you away like you were some light cold?? You wanted none of that. You get up and march towards the bed and the lump on the bed.
“Satan! I really am sorry! Please don't ignore me… I'll do anything, just don't be mad anymore!”
Suddenly, his hand grabs your arm, pulling you into his bed, you yelp at the strain on your joints as you are forced to lay down near him. He glares down at you, looming over your strained form, sitting up to have your head close to his lap.
“Anything?”
Your face heats up, you cough as you try to sit up.
“Anything WITH LIMITS- ah!”
He doesn't let you sit up. His grip on your form was strong.
“Satan, let go!”
“First you beg for forgiveness, then you have the nerve to order me around?...”
You fall quiet, looking up at the demon in front of you. Well, at least he's giving you attention.
“...An apology won’t do, MC. That does nothing to soothe my anger...”
He trails his hands over your head, playing with every strand of your hair ever so gently.
“...You know this, and you know this well.”
You swallow a lump in your throat. You feel your heart racing. The gentleness of his trust betrays the roughness of his voice. He continues,
“You are the only human aside from Solomon who would do something as idiotic as irritating the avatar of wrath.”
Silence. You said nothing. All you could do was stare, feel afraid, and hope he chooses to spare you. Yet deep down, you liked this. The soft light of his room hits his back ever so gently, the shadow looming across his face made his eyes seem brighter than they were. It would be rude to say this, but he looked angelic, heavenly. If he were the demon who would lull you to sin like a sweet lullaby on a cold night, you'd be on your knees for forgiveness almost every hour. As scary as he was, he was beautiful.
Then, out of nowhere, he chuckles. A soft, teasing chuckle.
“Did I do good?”
You blink twice, confused.
“huh?”
He lets go of you. He chuckles once more as you sit up.
“Did I scare you?”
You were being played for a fool.
“Satan! I really thought you hated me!”
“Impossible.” He then sighed, thinking back to the moment you startled him.
“Well, at first I was annoyed at whoever thought it was a good idea to play me for an idiot at the school library, but after seeing it was you, I just let it go.”
He cocks a smile, as if bullying you for falling for his antics. “You were whining and begging to be forgiven so much that I couldn't resist getting back at you.”
You huff, genuinely annoyed but relieved that it was all just a set up prank to get back at you. He continues to speak. “Or… did you think I was arrogant enough to feel annoyed for being slightly humiliated?...”
He tilts his head back slightly, an intimidating look on his face. “...Don't you think that's something Lucifer would do? Are you, out of all people, comparing me to Lucifer?”
You jolt, trying to explain that that wasn't the case. However, he chuckles once more, amused by the different reactions you were giving him. He sighs.
“Got you, Love.”
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flowercrownoreo · 1 year ago
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In which Hozumi Gōda, voice actor for Leorio in Hunter x Hunter 1999 does a livestream on Youtube and I tell him how much I enjoyed his work as Leorio, and he thanks me and says my channel name/url.
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lycanr0t · 10 months ago
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i feel very frustrated about the trend of giving chil body hair bc if it was any other anime twink i would be thrilled its just that it seems to only be because people are SO afraid of him looking young they have to make him hairy to justify liking him in ships.
meanwhile it does directly go against canon (he literally is supposed to look like a child. this is integral to both his character and his race's lore as a whole and it makes no damn sense that he would be mistaken for a child if he has body hair i mean. cmon.)
and it's like. some men are hairless. some men look young. when youre a trans man in your 20s-30s its especially common to be mistaken for a teenager, even more so if you're not on t. and short. these traits do not make you less of a man or an adult. :/
#rot posts#listen its like. i just wish ppl werent doing it for the reasons they seem to be#you NEVER see tiny little men get body hair in fanart i should know ive been in multiple fandoms where i was the only 1 givin bitches hair#but it also sucks when its like. clearly from a place of discomfort and not wanting him to seem young#rather than actually loving body hair#for example where is laios with body hair. wheres kabru. mithrun. literally any other character#(senshi us a slight exception on account of semi canonically having hair)#it just feels like a performance for no one. ok yeah good job you made chil look like a hairy 30 year old#did you pay attention to how that totally disregards his story and how he canonically looks like a child and that IS an important aspect#half foots face infantilism to an extreme and his appearance is a part of this. the discrimination he faces is partially BECAUSE of looks!#so changing him to erase such a HUGE important aspect of his race's lore just bc ppl seem uncomfortable with him being young looking feels#idk the feeling. its frustrating to me#i just wish there was some self reflection here. i guess. some actual acknowledgement of his canon struggles#do you even like chil if you cant accept one of his core canonical traits...#whew anyways this is HUGELY a limited edition post bc im deleting it as soon as my husband reads it ❤️#i hate drama i hate discourse so like always if you try to start shit i will ignore + block you soo fast dont try me
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sysig · 1 year ago
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A bit more Defeated, and thinking about this post (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#But actually starting with chibi Maxes because cutes!! He's the cutest!!#I was looking through some old doodles of my own and my chibi style from 2019 was so flippin' cute ugh#That Zedaph in cold weather clothing? Honestly still a fave of mine Zed is So soft in all my doodles of him lol#Figured it'd be nice to float some cute loves Max's way :) And I was right! Though I am out of practice lol#Was still fun to do tho haha#And then since I'd reread Defeated poor ZEX got a chibi as well! I'm sure he appreciates it poor lad haha ouq#Didn't even use my white ink to put a shine in his eye for that one haha :'D#And then a bit more with Dex </3 I had these ideas on the first reading (or so - in the same time period anyhow) but only got to them later#Dex speaks so.....patronizingly about ''Max's'' attachment to Caleb :) It's interesting to me :)#For a lot of it he's very understanding and gentle with him but it really seems like Caleb is something of a sore spot for him huh#Still ♪ I wonder if he'd consciously acknowledge it - and what his reaction would be at himself if he did hmm#He's no help to Max if he's caught in his own feelings! That doesn't make them not meaningful or important tho#And then to a bit of silliness ♪ No subtlety with the guard dog comparisons pffft#I will not apologize - if ZEX gets to play with a collar and leash with the Captain then let Max have just a little! As a treat!#Besides we all know the Real Dynamics here lol#Max and Dex do stupid couple's costumes for Halloween - who doesn't love a callback lol - and Dex is Not Amused lol#Hey I mean if the shoe fits!#And then the last one is just silly lol I may be misinterpreting the intended message but I couldn't not give it to them lol#And also Max in a ponytail for funsies :D Cute lad ♥
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villainsidestep · 10 months ago
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fawniel thoughts hour….
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#u can tell we are trying so hard to write smth bc we keep thinking up situations. but anyway#them just laying together asking a bunch of 20 questions type things#(he asks their favorite color and they laugh bc shouldn’t their ~number one fan~ know that already? and he gets embarrassed#and is like I MEAN I /DID/…. but that info is old !!! and I want to hear it from u ☺️)#(fawn says blue and he’s like 👀 oh really… any favorite shade…. and they’re like hm!! 😌 guess u will never know)#but danny asks if they have any siblings….. he knows they said they were part of a batch? but he doesn’t know how….#(​‘tank babies?’ fawn suggests bc he’s trying to come up w a nicer way to say it but can’t and he does an embarrassed little laugh bc yeah)#fawn who has only ever lied to the rangers abt it (they grew up on a farm and had a large family sure but ‘no one worth mentioning’?)#(not ashamed of their siblings but scared to talk abt them. to show any sort of weakness. ric would have pried; he always does.)#and yet. sitting here w him now. not sidestep (either one) and herald. just fawn and danny. they tell him#and it’s hard to explain how you can know someone without ever Knowing them. how u can have names when all u have are pictures and feelings#but they manage. and when they’re done danny says that he’s sorry for their loss. the first time they’re ever heard it.#probs the first time they’ve ever genuinely Acknowledged it since they were recycled. and fawn says yeah. says thank you. says I’m sorry.#oh u thought we were done w siblings ?? sike . ocean and sunny u will always be canon 2 me
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dandyliondreamer · 1 year ago
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Everyone say hi to Jerry!
He's the only angelestial of his kind (as far as he knows since his creator abandoned him). Hes a curious, pranky, funny fella.
Since he was born and left alone in the void, he learned to create creatures thorough his magical god like powers. His tears or bits and shards of his soul bend the void into existence, however they are not sentient, only alive.
He craves attention and also desire to find or create like minded beings. Beings like the ones from earth, which is right next to his dimension.
Jerry is not allowed to touch or go to earth, there is a barrier that prevents him from leaving the void he was born in, leaving him stuck alone with his souless creations.
His creator never returns for him, he assumes his creator had also created that blue thing. The blue thing releases souls, and they fuse together with his souless creations.
He created his first soulful being, one that would be his best friend and close companion. Together they continued to use earthly souls for their own creatures and beings. Jerry began creating a world of his own. He wonders if his creator would be happy with him.
As time goes on, he gets glimpses of the future, a very scary future. He knows something terrible is going to happen, however he refuses to believe it to be true. It's just a nightmare he keeps having. He just doesn't want things to end. He doesn't want to be alone ever again.
He hides his true anxieties behind a mask of prankery and sillyness, but his subordinates can tell there's something wrong.
He will never tell though and it would be too late anyway.
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almadelsur · 3 months ago
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💋 The Secrets One Keeps
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summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe
warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything
a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・
JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.
“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.
In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.
You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.
“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”
Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.
Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.
“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.
“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.
“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.
“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.
Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.
You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone. 
“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau. 
“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him. 
“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart. 
“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.
“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you. 
“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned. 
JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know. 
“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.
Boy was he mistaken. 
——————————————————————
“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.
“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.
You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.
“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.
“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.
“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”
“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.
“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”
“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.
“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.
“I fuck pogues.”
“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.
“Exactly so what’s the issue?”
“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”
He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.
“What's funny?” You challenged.
“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.
“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.
“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.
“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”
“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning. 
“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.
“Mhm,” You lied.
“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.
Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.
“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.
“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.
“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.
He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.
You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.
“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.
“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under. 
“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”
“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”
“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.
“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.
“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.
“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.
You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.
“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”
And fuck you he did.
——————————————————————
The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.
Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.
Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.
“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”
You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.
You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.
“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.
“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.
“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.
“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.
“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.
“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.
“No?”
“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.
“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.
“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”
With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.
“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.
“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.
“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.
“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.
Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.
“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.
“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.
“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”
“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.
“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“
“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj. 
Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”
“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”
“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.
Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.
She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”
A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”
With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.
“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.
“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.
“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.
“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.
“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”
“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.
“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.” 
Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.
Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.
“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.
“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.
He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.
1- You’d always share your snacks.
2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.
 3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.
Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.
“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”
“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.
JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.
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tender-rosiey · 4 months ago
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Hi. This is my first time writing arequest so i dont really know what im doing but i love your husband sukuna series and i wanna ask for a husband sukuna with a shy baby daughter bc your sukuna is 🤌
reluctance — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
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a/n: so glad you like my husband!sukuna works <33 hope this one is to your liking as well MWUAH 🫶
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“come on, d/n,” you coax gently.
your daughter, barely two years old, shakes her head from behind your legs, her tiny hands clutching the fabric of your kimono as she hides from the imposing figure of her father.
sukuna stands at the doorway, his arms crossed, his usual stern expression in place.
“she’s still hiding?” sukuna raises an eyebrow, his deep voice filling the room, though it isn’t harsh.
you kneel, gently petting your daughter’s head, “she’s shy. you know how she gets when you’re around.”
sukuna exhales slowly. he observes your daughter quietly. wide-eyed but cautious, her tiny fingers tightening their grip on you. your daughter was notably quite soft.
it didn’t help that her father, sukuna, didn’t exactly have the most inviting presence.
“come here,” he says, his tone gruff, holding out a hand.
the little girl hesitates, her bottom lip trembling slightly. you place a reassuring hand on her back and whisper softly, “it’s okay” you smile, “that’s your dad; he won’t hurt you.”
at your words, sukuna looks down at your daughter, his daughter.
she looks up at you, then back at sukuna. with the smallest shuffle, she takes one step toward him then sees him quirk an eyebrow which makes her quickly retreat, still unsure.
sukuna clicks his tongue, while you giggle. your daughter clings harder onto you at the sound of his disapproval.
“she sure is jumpy,” he says, stretched hand moving to rest on his hips, “how the hell is that my daughter?”
“ever studied biology?”
“do not get smart with me,” he warns, but his threats have long lost their effect on you.
the little interaction gives your daughter a sense of familiarity, seeing you talk so easily with him. with some courage finally mustered, your daughter blinks up at sukuna, her small voice barely audible as she mumbles, “papa...?”
sukuna’s sharp gaze relaxes just the faintest bit at the sound of her voice, “yes. I’m right here.”
she stares for another moment, before she toddles over to him. she stumbles and holds desperately onto his legs. she looks up at him, and he gives her no reaction.
your daughter takes that as a good sign, and she looks back at you with sparkly eyes.
“there you go,” you laugh, standing up. “see? not so bad.”
sukuna looks at your daughter, then back at you, “you coddle her too much.”
you fold your arms with a playful smirk, “she’s two. she’s allowed to be coddled a little.”
“she’ll be stronger if she learns early.” sukuna’s voice is firm. she is clinging to him now, a little less hesitant as she begins to tug at his kimono.
she lets out small mumbles as she tries to gain his attention.
"uh-huh, sure," you tease, stepping closer and placing your hand on his forearm, "you’re so tough, honey. maybe we should get her a little curse to toughen her up. would that make you happy?"
he scoffs but doesn’t answer, his attention flicking back to the girl holding onto him. you could see the faintest hint of something in his expression, though it wasn’t something he would ever acknowledge verbally.
for some reason, the scene of his daughter faced with a curse, at least in this age, doesn’t particularly please him.
her eyes are soft. her entire being is. there is no way that she would survive, and knowing his little daughter, she will burst into tears the moment the curse appears. that conclusion makes him think.
he stays silent, before he finally mutters, "never mind. she's fine the way she is.”
you beam at his words and pull his face down to place a kiss on his cheek, “aww, you are going soft, yay!”
“I will kill you,” he sneers, but then he feels his daughter raise her arms. he looks down at her with a scowl, “what do you want, you brat?”
the tone makes her flinch back, but then she tightens her fist and stutters, “u-up!”
“you and your mother are insolent,” he side-eyes you, and you raise your hands in surrender. his eyes flick back to her, “you ordering me around?”
her eyes start to water, but she tries to persevere, “up…?”
your husband groans and bends down to pick her up. the way he gives into her demands is sweet in its own way.
it would make you laugh, if he didn’t pick you up in process which instead makes you gasp. now, both you and your daughter are carried—effortlessly—in his arms.
you smile widely at your husband, while he avoids looking at you. sukuna instead looks at you daughter. he then asks, “are you happy now?”
your daughter stares silently at him, and he stares at her back. in the midst all this staring, your daughter realizes something: her dad has a second face.
her lips start quivering, and she raises her hands to cover her face as she starts bawling and wailing
“ugh, why is she crying now?” your husband groans, irked by the sudden loud noise.
“your face probably scares her.”
“I hate kids.”
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taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss@pompompurin1028@scul-pted@requiem626k@nameless-shrimp@sonder-paradise@jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author
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do not copy or plagiarize
check out my buy me a coffee!
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cocklessboy · 2 years ago
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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luveline · 9 months ago
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i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's just miserable that no one remembered his birthday at work but when he gets home his roommate just welcomes him with the most thoughtful gift and a warm hug PLEASE
thank you for requesting! <3 fem!reader
The lights are off. The air conditioning blows a shade too cold. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and acknowledges that, despite his awful, aching day, it’s nice to be home. 
The living room is clean where it hadn’t been this morning when he left. If he had to clean it by himself, he’d die. It must’ve taken a good hour or longer, even the floor shines sparkling clean. 
“Hey?” he asks into the open air, wondering where you are. 
“Spencer!” you yelp from the kitchen, “Hey, what took you so long? It’s almost seven!” 
He sighs to himself with a great dash of self-pity. “I know. Had to stay and finish something. You cleaned?” 
“I had to! Quick, come in here, I need your help with something.” 
He doesn’t want to help, he wants to lay down in bed. Spencer wonders how a normal person, a normal boy, would feel after a day like today. He wonders if Morgan would go home and lay in bed and cry. He wonders if it could ever be possible for everyone to forget Morgan’s birthday. 
Spencer hangs his jacket on the rack and puts his bag by the shoes. He’s tempted to go to bed and pretend he hasn’t heard you, but he supposes he shouldn’t. He’d sort of been hoping you’d text him happy birthday, and but that never happened. He doesn’t think anybody in the world besides his mom knows what day it is today, and Spencer had to remind her, so. 
“Spence,” you say, your smile of a calibre he’s never witnessed, standing in front of the kitchen island with your hands behind your back, “I hope you know I’ve been waiting two whole hours for you to get back. Actually, I’ve been waiting all day, but you can’t be blamed for working. Okay. Are you ready?” 
“Am I ready? What did you want help with?” 
You step to the side, grinning, the sleeves of your nice blouse like big, soft petals around your wrists and against your thighs. “Tada!” you say, guiding his attention to the silver platter on the countertop, a chocolate cake at centre stage and stuck with candles, flames aglow. “I rushed to light them when I heard the door,” you tell him, and he can hear your breathlessness now, your excitement for him evident. “A lot of candles, you’re getting old! Too old for chocolate sprinkle. I should’ve got you something sophisticated.” 
“You got me a cake?” 
“It’s your birthday,” you say happily. “Happy birthday, Spencer. I got you some presents, too, but the cake is the best, it’s from the Leaven. How fancy is that?” 
“Will you sing?” he asks. 
He doesn’t know why he asks. He’s mostly kidding, but you smile shyly and beckon him toward you. “I’ll sing. Come stand over here.” 
You sing him happy birthday, and he blows out his candles, only ten candles altogether but enough to feel like a kid as the heat kisses his chin. 
“Okay, and I got you this,” you say, finally pulling both hands from behind your back, seemingly eager to move the focus from your performance.
It’s a bundle about as thick as an average novel. He knows it’ll be books before he opens it, because you know him, and it’s in your nature to give him your everything. 
He doesn’t look at them. He takes the package blindly and shoves it onto the counter, wrapping you in a hug so hard it makes your back click. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t let go. You don’t make him. “Sorry, I just– I–” You’re the only one who remembered. “Thank you for the cake.” 
You hug him not quite as hard, but tight. “Hey, it’s okay. I love you, you’re my best friend ever, you can pop me like a roll of dough any day of the week.” You might be exaggerating. Spencer doesn’t know. “But especially today, you know. You can have anything you want.” 
Spencer should let go. Anything you want, you’d said. He hugs you until he’s sure you’re sick of him, your thumb pressing little circles into his shoulder, his arms tucked up under your armpits and around your back. “Thanks,” you murmur.
“What?” he asks. “For what?” 
“For such a good hug. And being a great roommate. And for not complaining about the candles.” 
“The candles are perfect.” 
You lean back in his arms. “Thank you. Now what do you want first, cake or dinner?” 
Spencer really wants another hug. “Um. Cake?” 
“Good choice, handsome.”
His cheeks are pink by the time he gets a slice, but it’s the best birthday cake he’s ever had.
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muniimyg · 2 months ago
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♡ 01: maybe it's all in my head
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series m.list // taglist
note: hihiii ,, this jk has been rotting my mind for a while now ... time to ruin urs !!! enj the tension ,, (i miss being toxic) lmk what u guys think of their dynamic tho <3 excited to share their little story with u ,, mwaaaa
warnings: oc and jk are mean in this fic !!! pls don't comment being whiney abt it :') !!! oc overhears jk fucking someone ,, jealousy ,, banter
//
“oh. it’s you.”
leaning against the doorframe, jungkook looks at you half disgusted and half disappointed. his arms are crossed with one eyebrow lifted. he blocks your entrance.
“now, now,” you reach over and ruffle his hair. he shifts, dodging your touch. “don’t be so excited. i know your boring life just waits for my presence—oh. i get it. were you expecting someone? usually you’re thrilled to see me.”
jungkook’s expression doesn’t shift, though there’s a faint glint in his eyes. 
“thrilled is reaching, don’t you think?”
“is it?”
“yeah.”
you roll your eyes, brushing past him with a teasing smile. 
“right, so… which are you today? mr. save the dolphins or professor chem?”
jungkook scoffs at you.
“at least my marine conservation interest and organic chem major help the world. what’s your major again? yap-conomics or bitch-ology?”
“help the world?” you almost burst into laughter. “god, you are such a nerd.”
“nerd? i don’t know about you, but some of us care about—”
“yeah, yeah,” you wave him off. “are you waiting for a nobel peace prize or something? holy shit, jungkook. learn to relax a little. you’re so serious. it’s cute, really… but only when you aren’t so anal about it.”
cute?
jungkook feels his chest tighten.
before he can make a comeback, taehyung calls you to the living room.
“___? is that you? stop trying to edge jungkook! get in here! i need your data for our paper!” 
you stick your tongue out at jungkook before turning away and rushing to the living room. your lips curl into a smug grin as you saunter off, leaving jungkook muttering something under his breath. you catch him rolling his eyes just before you disappear around the corner, a small flicker of triumph igniting in your chest.
the living room is warm, filled with the faint hum of taehyung’s lo-fi playlist and the smell of old books—his aesthetic, no doubt. taehyung is sprawled on the couch, laptop open, an arm draped lazily over the cushions. his wide grin grows wider when he sees you. 
“i’m here!”
“finally! come on, genius. enlighten me,” he says, patting the seat next to him.
you plop down beside him, legs folded under you, your laptop balanced precariously on your knees. “genius? are you sucking up to me because you didn’t do your part of the project yet?”
“yup,” he says, shrugging, his head tilted lazily to the side. “if you don’t send me that data tonight, though, i might call you something less flattering.”
you laugh, the sound soft and light, and lean into the cushions, already pulling up the necessary files. 
“your boyfriend’s in a mood.”
“he always is when you’re around,” taehyung teases. “he only answered the door cos he thought it was his student. your face must’ve pissed him off.”
chuckling at his response, you ask another question. 
“where are the guys?”
“they’ll be home soon,” taehyung answers. “said they wanna eat out tonight after jungkook’s tutoring session. you coming with?”
“sure,” you agree. 
then, the two of you fall into a comfortable rhythm, bouncing ideas back and forth while taehyung clicks through your notes, occasionally throwing in a sarcastic remark or two that makes you nudge him with your elbow.
a few minutes later, you hear an unfamiliar laugh and footsteps approaching.
jungkook strides in, casual and confident as always, but this time a girl is trailing after him. 
she’s pretty. 
the two exchange a few murmured words before jungkook’s eyes flicker briefly in your direction. he raises a hand in a lazy acknowledgment, the girl following suit, and say hi. taehyung nods at them and then they’re gone—slipping upstairs in the blink of an eye. 
the sound of his bedroom door clicking shut echoes faintly.
and then, it rings in your ear. 
you blink, your fingers frozen mid-typing on the keyboard. something gnaws at your chest, sharp and unfamiliar, leaving a bitter taste at the back of your throat. taehyung, oblivious, scrolls through your notes, muttering about formatting errors.
but you… you’re somewhere else entirely. 
what was that?
no name?
no introduction?
did she think you were taehyung's girlfriend or something? that jungkook was all for her?
oh god.
there's a weird twist in your stomach. it feels like a prickle of irritation spreading across your skin like an itch you can’t scratch… you shake your head, trying to brush it off, but the image of jungkook—smirking as usual, leaning casually against the banister, that girl so effortlessly fitting into the space beside him—lingers, stubborn and unshakable…
what the fuck.
it’s not like you and jungkook are close. 
you’re frenemies, at best. 
unsure of when it started exactly—but it’s been happening long enough for it to be routine and well-known in the friendgroup. you two are the kind of people who throw jabs at each other during game nights and compete to see who can make the snarkiest comment without crossing the line. you’re always caught in this stupid cycle of one-upping each other, all for the entertainment of the group. sometimes, more for yourself. life gets boring pretty quickly, and jungkook is your fastest source of entertainment. 
yet, why does it feel like you’ve just lost some unspoken game?
your chest tightens, and you lower your gaze to your laptop, fingers hovering over the keys. you bite the inside of your cheek, a nervous habit you’ve never been able to kick… this icky feeling begins to take over and your mind races with reasons as to why.
maybe it’s because jungkook’s always been so good at getting under your skin. 
maybe it’s because, for all his teasing and relentless bickering, there’s this… comfort in knowing that he’s always there, right across the table, firing back at you like he knows exactly how to push your buttons.
and maybe that’s the problem.
because now, with someone else upstairs, laughing at something he probably said, you’re starting to realize that you might actually care more than you thought.
maybe you care because you’re not the one in his room he’s trying to make laugh.
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after a few hours pass, everyone’s stomach beings to grumble. 
for the past 20 minutes, the guys have been begging you to go up and call jungkook down. he hasn’t been answering their texts and all argue that if they go up and knock; he’ll just ignore them. 
… but if you do it…
he’ll answer.
even if it’s just to insult you. 
you glance up at the clock, already mentally calculating the time. you're not really in the mood for another round of back-and-forth with him, but you know they'll just keep pushing you.
"please, please, please, ___!” taehyung cries, pouting. “i really need pad thai. like… so bad. like, i might die. please go get jungkook.”
you hesitate, your eyes flicking to the stairs. 
jungkook hasn’t come out at all. you don’t want to disturb anything and he’s a total grumpy-head when his study time is disrupted… what more if it’s a tutoring lesson? the last time you went up there, it ended with you calling him a dumbass and him tossing a pillow at you.
“i think you guys can go get him this time," you say, turning your attention back to your phone, pretending to scroll through a message.
"oh come on," jimin presses. "you know, at the end of the day… he only really listens to you." his voice drips with exaggeration, but it only makes you roll your eyes.
"yeah, that’s true…" hobi adds with a playful smirk, leaning back into the couch. "you’re like his… little bitch or something."
you shoot them both a look. “you think i’m his bitch?"
“either that or he’s your little bitch.”
you scoff at him. “please do not disgrace bitches by associating them with him.”
“fine, fine,” jin says with a dramatic sigh, raising his hands in mock surrender. “we won’t force you to go up… we’ll bribe you!”
your interest piques as you glance up at him, eyebrow raised. 
“bribe me? how much cash do you have today?”
yoongi and nam joon share a look. then, nam joon leans forward, his eyes twinkling mischievously. 
“milk tea," he offers, his voice low and enticing, like he knows exactly what will catch your attention. "… any boba store you want. any time… for a week, ___.”
you try to fight the grin that starts tugging at your lips. 
fuck it. 
you nod begrudgingly, slipping your phone into your pocket. 
“deal.”
taehyung bursts out laughing. “deal."
with a resigned sigh, you head for the stairs. 
as you climb up, you prepare yourself. 
you prepare yourself for his death glare and the innocent girl in the background. you prepare yourself for his snarky comments and his sweet tone of voice the minute he turns around to talk to her. you prepare yourself to feel sick to your stomach again. 
as you stand in front of his bedroom door and raise your fist to knock—you hear it. 
rather, you hear them. 
the unmistakable sound of his voice, muffled but clear enough that you can make out the low hum of his tone, followed by a girl’s laugh—a breathy, high-pitched laugh that makes your stomach twist.
you freeze, standing in the doorway, caught between disbelief and something you can’t quite name. your heartbeat picks up in your chest, your body tensing as the reality of the situation settles over you.
you’re not sure what exactly it is—maybe it’s the fact that it’s so casual, or maybe it’s the way the sound of it makes you feel like you’re intruding—but you feel a sudden flush creep up your neck and cheeks.
“oh my god, o-oh my g-god! t-that’s it, jungkook! oh god, baby… f-fuck!”
“fuck—you close, baby?”
“so close, baby. so fucking close. g-god, yes, yes, yes! nghh—fuck! so big, jungkook. oh my god, oh my god! fuck me, fuck me… j-just like that, baby. yes, y-yes–o-oh! mhmmmphhh—”
"shit, shit, shit..."
"fuck me harder, jungkook. please! o-oh? oh! oh my god! yes... yes! thank you, baby. thank you, thank you! ahhh... oh my god..."
you swallow, stepping back, retreating to the stairs. 
the guilt of overhearing makes your pulse race in an odd way, like you’ve been caught in something you weren’t supposed to see.
at the bottom of the stairs, you pause, your hand on the banister, unsure whether you should stay or go. 
you quickly decide. 
you’re already feeling the sting of something sharp and unfamiliar in your chest.
“guys,” you say quickly, trying to keep your tone light, but there’s an edge to it you can’t mask. "y-you know what? i think i’ll just head home. i’ve got a ton of work to do.”
they look at you, confused. taehyung blinks a couple of times, jimin frowning. 
“but we—"
"y-yeah,” you breathe. “i… i know. i just… it’s all good. you guys can go ahead without me,” you add, forcing a smile.
“slow down, ___. what—”
“i feel sick,” you confess. “okay? i feel sick.”
“okay… can one of us drive you home or something—”
“no. i’m good. thank you, though… i.. i gotta go.”
they all frown, their confusion morphing into concern, but you’ve already grabbed your things and hurried out the door before they can protest.
the cold night air feels like a slap to your face as you walk away, but it doesn’t quite shake the unsettled feeling in your stomach. 
you can’t stop thinking about it. 
about how you feel.
about what you heard.
about how much you fucking hate jeon jungkook.
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it’s almost 10PM by the time you finish showering. your hair is still damp, hanging loosely around your shoulders as you brush it out in front of the mirror. the soft swish of the brush is the only sound in the room, your thoughts still lingering on what happened earlier. the image of Jungkook with that girl, the sound of their voices together, keeps replaying in your mind, and it won’t leave.
you shut your eyes and try to forget. 
taking a breath in—your moment is interrupted by a knock on your door. 
you frown, glancing at the clock before moving to the door, towel still hanging from your shoulders. it’s late, and you weren’t expecting anyone. 
heading towards the door, you wonder who it is.
then, when you open the door, you freeze.
there, standing in the hallway with a takeout bag in hand, is jungkook. his face is unreadable, but his eyes—those eyes—seem to be searching yours for something. you can’t quite figure out what.
you blink, caught off guard by the unexpected visit, and for a moment, neither of you says anything.
“uh…” jungkook clears his throat, breaking the silence, his voice lower than usual. “the guys think i did something to piss you off… so i’m supposed to say sorry for… whatever i did.”
“you didn’t do anything,” you lie. “goodnight.”
just as you’re about to shut the door, he takes a step forward. 
“___,” he says, tone flat and annoyed. “don’t be a bitch. just tell me what i did so i can apologize, go home and tell them what i did wrong, and we can act like nothing happened—”
“okay,” you shrug. “you wore an ugly shirt today. there. say sorry.”
jungkook winces at you. 
“seriously?”
you shrug again. 
“what do you want, jungkook? i have nothing to say to you—”
“i don’t fucking understand where all this attitude is coming from. i didn’t do shit to you today. you know i didn’t… so, can you please use your tiny brain to make something up? something more convincing than hating my fucking shirt.” 
you nod, pretending to care. then, just as you reach for the door to shut it again; jungkook swiftly moves past you. he lets himself in. 
“they’re worried you didn’t eat,” he states. “did you eat?”
you groan at him. “why the fuck do you care?”
“i don’t.”
but his actions say otherwise. 
jungkook then takes off his shoes and heads to your coffee table. he sits himself on the floor and begins to unpack the food. silently, you watch as he does so and can’t help but feel like throwing up. 
“eat,” he commands. 
you glare at him. 
“get out.”
jungkook leans back against your couch. “eat, tell me what i did wrong, then i’ll leave.”
“leave first.”
“eat first.”
“get out.”
“holy shit,” jungkook scoffs. “are you even capable of forming a complex sentence, or is that too much for you? ___, this is called a conversation. you’re supposed to—"
“get out.”
jungkook sighs heavily. 
a silence falls upon you two. 
jungkook has had difficult days with you before.
this is nothing new… but for some reason, right now feels harder than the other days. partly because most days he knows when he’s being an asshole—but today? he has no clue. 
he’s in the dark. 
jungkook clears his throat. 
“i didn’t yell at you today,” he starts. “i didn’t call you names. you called me a nerd but that was it… your face ruined my day but i guess it made the others pretty happy since they were so pissed at me for being the reason why you left… so, hey… how about this? you tell me what i did wrong for the guys. not for me.”
you raise an eyebrow at him. 
his eyes plead. 
then, a moment passes. 
instead of answering him, you pick up your feet and sit on the floor beside him. you look at the door and take the utensils from the bag. poking at the food, you contemplate on telling him what’s going on in your head. 
just as you’re about to eat a spoonful of the food, you suddeny feel jungkook close to you. without saying a word, his fingers brush lightly against your cheek, making you hold your breath. his hand moves to tuck a damp strand of hair behind your ear, carefully pushing it out of the way so it doesn’t fall into your food. 
the gesture is so unexpectedly gentle that it catches you off guard, and for a second, you’re just left there, staring at him.
he looks at you sincerely. in his eyes, you can see his defeat. 
you don’t know if it was the gesture or the look in his eyes—but your words slip out of your mouth faster than you can think to stop it. 
“she was too loud.”
he tilts his head at you. 
“oh,” jungkook connects. his expression stiffens for a split second, then he schools it back into calm. “overheard, did you?” he asks, leaning in slightly, voice a low murmur. 
“oh, i definitely heard,” you reply, folding her arms, feigning thoughtfulness. “don’t act so cocky… she sounded like she was faking it.”
he stares, jaw flexing, and for a moment, there’s a flicker of something challenging in his eyes. 
“that’s cute coming from someone who couldn’t even stay for dinner.”
suddenly that pang of jealousy again hits again. 
you know you should just brush it off… keep your cool and act nonchalant about it—but something about jungkook just makes you feel so off balance. 
“maybe i had better things to do,” you retort. 
“like what?” 
you shrug. 
“like leave.”
“you should’ve knocked,” jungkook smirks. “i would’ve opened the door. we don’t mind an audience usually.” 
there it is again. 
the sick, sinking, icky feeling. 
“you two fuck often?”
jungkook looks away, taking a moment to think. 
“yeah,” he admits. “what? surprised nerds get laid?”
you stay quiet. 
“i mean.. it’s not really any of your business…" he mutters, though there’s a tension in his voice that doesn’t match his casual shrug. you can tell he's trying to brush it off, but the way his jaw tightens betrays him.
you feel your stomach tighten, the words you threw out lingering in the air between you, each one heavier than the last. you weren’t expecting him to react like this—maybe a joke or a deflecting comment—but not this… 
tension.
"right," you reply, your tone softer than you intended. you glance down at your food, suddenly losing your appetite. the casual air you were hoping for is long gone, replaced by an uncomfortable silence that neither of you seems willing to break.
jungkook shifts uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck before clearing his throat. 
"look, it’s not like that," he adds quickly, but the words sound almost too defensive. "she’s just... i don’t know. it’s nothing serious."
you don’t respond immediately, still caught up in the strange mix of feelings his words stir in you. the way he said it—like it was nothing serious—feels too much like an attempt to distance himself from whatever was going on.
you’re not sure what you wanted from this conversation, but now all you feel is a growing knot in your chest.
"yeah," you mutter, trying to sound indifferent, but the weight of his words hangs in the air, making your throat feel tight. "whatever you say—”
“why do you care anyway?” jungkook’s voice is sharp now, a slight edge creeping into his tone as he looks at you, his expression shifting from defensive to something you can’t quite place.
you’re caught off guard by the question. 
you weren’t prepared for that, weren’t prepared for the way it makes your chest tighten. why do you care? it’s not like you have any right to, right?
you open your mouth, but the words don’t come out. Instead, you just shrug, trying to play it cool, but you can feel your pulse quicken. 
"i don’t. i just—"
"you just what?" he interrupts, his brow furrowing, as though he’s not buying the act. "you’ve never cared before. why start now?"
you clench your fists at your sides, feeling the sting of his words more than you want to admit. There’s a part of you that wants to tell him—tell him how seeing him with her, hearing them laugh together, makes something ugly twist in your stomach. 
but you can’t.
"i don’t know," you finally mutter, your voice quieter than before. “it's weird. like, of course i knew you weren't a virgin but... are you actually that good? then again… doesn’t take much to fake sounds like her.”
jungkook’s eyes flicker to yours, something unreadable passing through them before he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. then, he smirks. 
it’s more calculated, though… like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
"curious?"
"disgusted, actually."
a beat.
"what, you wanted it to be you?" he asks, his voice smooth, a challenge in his tone.
you almost choke on your breath, but you recover quickly. "me? sleeping with you? please."
he lets out a low laugh, but it’s not playful this time. 
it’s more mocking. 
“yeah, i mean, i don’t even want you that bad…" he takes a slow look at you, like he's mentally assessing you, deciding if you’re worth his time. "not even close."
the words sting more than they should, but you keep your composure. 
you try to look unbothered, but his next words twist the knife a little deeper.
“fuck you.”
"you wish i’d fuck you," he remarks, almost casually, like it's no big deal. "would make things easier, huh?"
your chest tightens, and something about the way he says it makes your blood run cold. It’s not just teasing anymore—it’s a jab.
but you refuse to let him see how much it affects you.
"i’m not interested in you," you shoot back, your voice betraying none of the discomfort you’re feeling. 
he leans in a little, eyes never leaving yours. 
"really?" 
“really.”
his smirk widens, and you can feel the tension crackling in the air. 
“guess what? i think you care more than you're letting on. you act like you don’t give a shit, but it’s so obvious you’re just pissed it’s not you in my bed."
you bite your lip, trying to keep your voice steady, but something betrays you in the way your heart races. 
"i’m not pissed," you mutter, the words coming out too quickly, like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as him. "why would i be?"
jungkook watches you for a moment, taking in every little reaction. 
"i don’t know, ___," he says, his tone low and teasing, like he’s enjoying every second of this. "but it’s cute. you’re all flushed, trying to act like you don’t care, but i can see right through you."
you grit your teeth, wanting to snap back, but instead, you just look away. 
"shut up," you mutter, frustrated with yourself more than anything. "you’re such an asshole sometimes, you know?"
he laughs again, but this time there’s something darker in it, almost like he's reveling in your frustration. 
“i don’t think you’re as immune to me as you pretend to be," he says. "but hey, don’t stress about it, baby. i’m not that interested either. i mean, what’s the fun in fucking you? it’d be harder getting rid of you than getting in your pants.”
you feel the sting of his words hit harder than they should.
“are you done?” you mutter, forcing a nonchalant tone. "and don't call me baby. you called her baby. i don't want to be associated—"
"you think you'd fold as fast as she did?"
jungkook’s eyes flicker with something that could almost be amusement—or maybe something else. he clears his throat.
“shit, ___. i’m sorry—”
“yeah?” 
you don't know why, but something inside you snaps. 
you shift your body close to him. so close that you glance at his lips, then back up to his eyes, as if you’re weighing something—daring him to make a move.
jungkook’s body tenses, his breath shallow, like he's ready to close the distance… to make some sort of move. his lips part slightly as if he's about to speak, but before he can, you push him away. 
now, he’s tongue tied.
“shit, jungkook... i'm sorry," you mock him. "but you're wrong... this is fun."
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