#and he never regretted saving the remaining wens

[almonddirge]

I love that MDZS starts with people discussing rumors about Wei Wuxian. No one’s sure on the exact details, but what they are sure on is that he’s terrible and it’s good he’s dead.

When I first read it, I thought he must’ve done much worse than he ended up actually doing. Like yeah, I wouldn’t say he did nothing wrong, but a lot of what seemed evil was just him sticking to his own personal morals when they went against what many would agree with.

I think it’s a very intentional decision that you don’t know exactly what he did, and I think it’s an interesting one. You get to know the legend before the man:

[asymm3]

okay okay hear me out

yiling patriarch lan wangji

yes it’s my new favorite tag on ao3

there is something so delightfully wrong about the man who would be light bearer being corrupted into a demonic cultivator

wei wuxian became the yiling patriarch because he had no other choice

lan wangji becomes the yiling patriarch because he chose to be

the thing about lan wangji is that at his core, he has this quiet, ruthless devotion. the lan sect rules are a restraint; they keep this visceral animal thing in his chest shackled and sedated, the way you tranquilize a predator for your safety. even when he fights against his own clan in canon, this creature never really wakes up.

but what if we did wake it up?

what if instead of returning to gusu after being rescued from the xuanwu cave, he goes with jiang cheng and wei wuxian to lotus pier to heal

it doesn’t change much, lotus pier still burns and the jiang parents are slaughtered.

but instead of jiang cheng losing his core, wei wuxian loses it instead?

the shackles on the animal devotion inside of lan wangji’s chest start to break. he’s lost his home, maybe his brother, and now he is going to lose his soulmate?

wen qing transplants lan wangji’s core into wei wuxian. as far as jiang cheng and wei wuxian know, lan wangji and wen qing altered an ancient, mysterious lan procedure into giving wei wuxian a new core. lan wangji leaves while wei wuxian is still unconscious, because ostensibly he has delayed too long in finding his brother.

lan wangji leaves because the hole inside his chest feels like it’s going to consume him. he does not regret what he has done. the creature devotion slinks down to fill the void inside him.

in leaving, he is caught by the wens. they throw him into the burial mounds. the resentful energy burns away the remaining restraints on the visceral animal devotion inside them.

he could curl up and die, let the resentful energy burn through him, let it burn out the creature devotion in his chest, let it turn him into a husk, a corpse.

the animal devotion won’t let him. it bends the energy beneath its will, a pulse of “wei ying wei ying wei ying” that beats the resentment into submission. the energy and the animal curl together like lovers in the hollow left by his core.

lan wangji chooses demonic cultivation because he will return to wei ying.

lan wangji is the sum of his parents, their mistakes and strengths. he has his father’s willingness to defy proprietary for the person he loves, but unlike his father it’s tempered by his mother’s suffering in confinement. he will not let anyone hurt wei ying, but he will not bind him against his will.

wei wuxian is terrified beyond belief and gutted when the lan sect joins the war without lan wangji among them. lan xichen is drawn with grief and rage. it’s been months and neither wei wuxian or the lan sect have heard from his brother. it’s kindest to assume he’s dead.

wei wuxian refuses to believe it. he goes looking for lan wangji. jiang cheng joins him, a sick guilt in his stomach driving him to look for the man who saved his brother.

when they find lan wangji, jiang cheng wishes they hadn’t. he doesn’t recognize the man in from of him, and he can see his brother’s heart breaking when lan wangji sidesteps wei wuxian’s hug.

it hurts lan wangji to not let wei wuxian touch him. it hurts to see his soulmate’s face fall, to see the tears glisten before he wipes them away. it hurts to hear the broken laughter as wei ying tries to hide how hurt he is by his refusal.

but lan wangji can’t let wei ying hug him, touch him, comfort him. he doesn’t know if it’ll calm the creature devotion within him, sedate it to where the resentful energy rebels and strikes out against his control. he doesn’t know if the animal devotion will snatch wei ying up, take him away and lock him up like his father did to his mother. lan wangji has to make it to the end of the war, for wei ying.

he can’t let wei ying see the emptiness within him, where the resentment and animal can’t fill.

when the war ends, lan wangji returns quietly to the cloud recesses. he bears his punishment (strikes from the discipline whip and seclusion) quietly. by virtue of his publicity as a war hero, he is allowed to attend the discussion conference that follows.

lan wangji frees the wens. wei ying begs him to help them. lan wangji will not let wen qing, who saved wei ying, suffer and die in the camps. he takes them to the burial mounds, where he and wei ying work to restore wen ning’s consciousness.

lan wangji becomes the yiling patriarch.

the wens will still die. lan wangji will die. but at least wei ying is safe and free.

lan wangji does not expect to wake up 13 years later.

[mariposakitten]

Whenever I see fanon about Wen Ning, it always seems to propose a dichotomy: Wen Ning was a gentle, timid, peaceful soul until Wei Wuxian turned him into a fierce corpse and made him into a weapon. If that had never happened he would have remained timid and gentle and ever so slightly befuddled all the days of his life.

I will say upfront, I am only working with CQL chronology. I understand there are drastic differences between the book and the show; those who know the book better are free to add onto this, either to agree or disagree. But from the perspective of the show: I call bullshit.

This is the man who disobeyed both his sect leader and his sister, putting himself at risk, to save Wei Wuxian from the dungeon-wolf and smuggle medicine to him. Who went against his entire sect again, risked his own life AND faced social ridicule (and it’s anyone’s guess which was scarier), to save Jiang Cheng – not because he particularly cared about Jiang Cheng, but because his friend did. Who risked his life again, and his sister’s life, AND risked his sister’s anger, asking her to shelter and care for the Yunmeng trio. Who died, in the labor camp at Qiongqi Path, because he was trying to protect his fellow prisoners.

Before he was ever a fierce corpse, this man lived and died a hero. The fact that he was by nature gentle and timid just makes his courage more noteworthy – he was scared, genuinely scared, for most of his heroics. He did what needed doing anyway.

And everything, everything he did was to protect others.

Do not let the wide eyes and the babyface fool you. Wen Ning was a badass long before he was reanimated by resentful energy; he was just a quiet, self-effacing badass.

Wen Ning might, in a quiet moment, regret that his natural death was interrupted, that he may have been taken out of the cycle of reincarnation. He might be upset that someone with enough power could control him against his will. He might be saddened that people instinctively fear him or see him as a threat. But I can’t believe that he resents being “made into a weapon" or “corrupted by resentment.”

The resentment  was always there. It is a testament to who he is as a person that he stayed as sweet as he was despite it, but it was no accident that he had enough resentment to revive his own body. A good man surrounded by bad men will always be resentful, and for good reason.

As for being “made" into a weapon? At every opportunity, he put himself between the people he wanted to protect and those who would hurt them. No matter how he felt about the rest of his transformation, I can’t imagine he would be anything less than thrilled about finally having the physical ability to make that protection stick.

Being a weapon that can be wielded by someone he didn’t choose is a problem. Being a weapon, in and of itself, is not.

Wen Ning is not and never was the guileless innocent some make him out to be. He is gentle, yes; he would rather heal and nurture than hurt. He is timid, yes; words hurt him and he fears confrontation. He is good, always and to his core. But he was always strong and brave enough to overcome his fears and stand up for what he thought was right, always determined enough to fight for his people even when he thought he’d lose, and it is a disservice to his character to claim otherwise.

[righteousinadversity]

Could I just share some of my time travel “fix it” pet peeves? Here it goes: 1. All trauma in the past is ignored and does not influence any decision in the new timeline. 2. Every problem the Jiang have is resolved if WWX never enters the sect or JFM tells the truth to YZN, declaring his love 3. LQR will be the perfect Lan if WWX keeps quiet about his ideas and behaves in class. 4. WWX talks how every tragedy before, during and after the war is his fault and he has the obligation to fix it

Hello! So sorry for the late answer, life's been a chaotic dumpster fire.

And yeah, those are like... everything that I hate about time travel AUs. For me, specifically, I can be convinced about the trauma not affecting him in the new timeline, as WWX is rather good at leaving the past in the past. However, I do agree that all the ways his relationships developed would undoubtedly change with his knowledge of the past life. So while trauma would remain and affect WWX, I don't see him basing that on every decision he makes in the past. And I suppose it would also depend on what time from the future he was traveling from. If he time traveled right after Nightless City or the Siege or him falling into the burial mounds, it would be vastly different from if he time traveled while in the BMs with the Wens, or after Qiongqi path.

JFM and YZY reconciling is a fucking fever dream. YZY is an abusive woman who made Lotus Pier into a toxic household, and short of her dying, I really can't see any fix for it. (She's dead in almost all of my fic ideas - time travel AU or otherwise - for this precise reason.)

LQR had it out for WWX because he held a petty grudge against CSSR. Even in canon, he is very pointedly looking for a reason to reprimand WWX. WWX realizes this, and that is why he very purposefully antagonizes him and gets kicked out of class. So yeah, him having a miracle transformation is unlikely at best.

As for the war, I can see WWX preparing against it and taking active steps to win it, but I believe it would come from his morality and his wish to save the people who died last time, rather than any guilt or regret. He would do the right thing, as he always has.

A time travel AU pet peeve of mine is WWX choosing to time travel post-canon, when he is finally at peace and married and happy. Like. No. He would not.

Thanks for sharing, Anon! I am always here to rant about fanfic pet peeves.

[nutcasewithaknife]

We don't obsess enough over what Wen Qing feels about the core transfer. It doesn't feel right to say she's okay with it in any sense. She didn't want to do it initially! She knew they could both die, knew that the cost of winning was Wei Wuxian’s ability to cultivate spiritually, knew that it would be an extreme violation of Jiang Cheng’s will and trust to keep it a secret. And yet!! Why does she give in to Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning and actually go through with it? Does her Chronic Elder Sister Syndrome make her more sympathetic to Wei Wuxian’s fears for Jiang Cheng? Did she think it was the only way she could make up for the loss of their home at the hands of her sect?

We know she's drawn to the siblings' love for each other, she sees a reflection of what she has with her brother in their relationship. Did she think they would fall apart if the transfer didn't happen, and wanted to avert that at any cost? The implications of this!!! She thought they would be better off dead, or better off despite Wei Wuxian living a half-life with a terrible secret while Jiang Cheng regained a core and Yanli remained oblivious. Either of these options were better than Jiang Cheng remaining coreless, but why? Because she thought Wei Wuxian would have a better chance at surviving without core than Jiang Cheng could? Or because she understood how hard it was to preserve a legacy and protect people against all odds, knew that Jiang Cheng would have to rebuild his sect, and believed it was impossible without a core? Did she think about how broken she'd be if she couldn't protect her people, and didn't want him to suffer that?

Did she look at their life in the Burial Mounds and regret doing it, regret lingering long enough to to be caught and imprisoned by Wen Rouhan? Or did she already know that she and her people were doomed, and wanted to give at least someone a fighting chance to protect their own? Did she watch Wei Wuxian fight everyday to keep smiling, keep living and regret that she did it? Did she think of Jiang Yanli, never knowing what went wrong and struggling to keep them together? Did she think of Jiang Cheng, deprived of a brother and with a core he didn't agree to, and feel revolted at the thought of having her brother cut himself out for her? Does she look around herself and think about how she failed at helping them as well as her own people? How, ultimately, her best was not enough to save anyone?

When leaving Wei Wuxian behind and marching to Lanling with the Wen remnants, did she really give up, or was she still trying to help someone, if not the people she should have? Was she hoping that at least her death would mean something, save someone? Was she afraid that it too would ultimately save no one?

[rosethornewrites]

T & G reading since 9/16

Finished

Teen:

Lan Zhan's University Days (Second Year Slump), by sami (2 chapters, part of 2 series)

Second year starts inauspiciously.

Coming On Like A Hurricane, by sami (2 chapters, part of 2 series)

Jiang Cheng looks past Jordan and scowls. "Wei Wuxian. Is the storm your fault? Did you disrupt air travel across two countries just to get out of having dinner with the French president?"

it starts just where the light exists, by nancyboykilljoy

People should teach something about love between two men.

That thought occurred to Wei Ying after a myriad of others, as he stared at Jingshi’s gentle blue ceiling, darkened as all candles were out and only the moon gave the room some light.

He was quiet, his breath steady, but his heart felt a bit too scandalous for the scene. His expression was one of focus, and he was, actually, concentrated on a particular impression: what the hell took him so long.

--

Or: Wei Wuxian realizes he's been in love with Lan Wangji for a long time.

Happens during episode 43!

the trauma has already spread, by ActivelyWeird

Everything pauses the moment Jin Ling pulls the sword out of Wei Wuxian.

Chaotic Demonic Cultivator Shirks Gender Roles, by retired (misbehavingvigilante) (🔒)

It's not as if he regrets telling Lan Zhan he gave birth to A-Yuan, he just hadn't realized that A-Yuan had been paying so much attention to it.

In hindsight, it's no real surprise why A-Yuan then calls him 'A-Niang'.

Or alternatively, a gender nonconforming take on the Yiling date.

Green-gege Saves a lot of Lives, by Eternal_writes

It isn't until Nie Mingjue wakes up in the Burial Mounds after a night-hunt gone awry, that he realizes just how wrong the Cultivation World is about the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian.

There is no "Ghost Army," just biding their time until the right moment to strike. Just a group of Wen Remnants trying to survive on land that was never suited for life. There is no "Demon of the Burial Mounds," just Wei Wuxian, trying his best to keep his new family alive while nearly starving himself in the process.

Nie Mingjue thought he knew everything. Merely days ago he thought that sieging the Burial Mounds was the safest option if given a reason to do so. But meeting the Wen Remnants, and A-Yuan who affectionately calls him "Green-gege!" he realizes something vital.

He was wrong, and he better do something to fix it before it's too late.

AITA for not contacting my family for 10 years after running away from home?, by weiyus

Wei Wuxian goes to reddit to seek guidance about whether he's an asshole for not contacting the Jiangs for 10 years after running away.

He Answers, by GoddessNyxXX

Weeks after Wei Wuxian and the Wen remnant's deaths, Lan Wangji is convinced to play Evocation in an attempt to contact Wei Wuxian's spirit by his brother for the cultivation sects. And, Wei Wuxian answers.

Homecoming, by BigBadRedPanda

Inquiry, as the strings quiver, the beloved one comes into sight.

-

Has Lan Wangji ever played Inquiry during these thirteen years?

(Translation of 归去来 by sannianbufei)

who are you, by HeavenChild

Wei Ying died.

Lan Wangji stayed alive.

|OR| the one where Lan Wangji spent thirteen years searching for the soul of a dead man.

General:

breath before the plunge, by stiltonbasket

In which Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng remain behind in the Xuanwu's cave, and the Sunshot Campaign does not begin in quite the same way afterwards.

Who is right?, by DamieMontclair

Day 1: Umbrella - Lan Wangji

In the mud, left behind and forgotten, laid a rain-soaked umbrella.

Coping Techniques for the Clueless and Socially Disadvantaged, by meyari

The worst part of the Sunshot Campaign was Wei Wuxian. Without a doubt. Which was why Jin Zixuan reluctantly found himself trying out various people’s coping methods in an effort to, you know, figure out something to fix it. Him. Yeah. Zixuan didn’t know, either, but someone obviously had to do something.

crowned in blooms, by littledust

Lan Wangji hears Wei Wuxian before he sees him. His bright laughter dots the hillside like wildflowers. A higher-pitched giggle follows, and then the soft snort of a donkey.

They are Practically Married Your Honour, by Asmayi

A 5+1 fic where everyone mistakes WangXian as a couple but....they don't really accept or deny the status until Wei Ying confronts Lan Zhan about it.

Contingency, by Full_Metal_Ox

Wei WuXian, who admits his memory has never been of the best, has nonetheless privately memorized a fair bit of the Inquiry code.

Inquiry, Reprise, by EHyde

Wei Ying regrets being unable to answer Lan Zhan's Inquiry. He wants to change that.

Response, by Aki_no_hikari (🔒, 2 chapters)

What if Wei Wuxian hadn't been silent to Lan Wangji's Inquiry?

Part 2: Featuring A-Yuan

Unfinished

Teen:

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

Cluster of Clouds, by Nika_Raven_Celeste

Wei Ying expects many things during his stay in the Cloud Recesses, but he sure as hell didn't expect THIS! What's up with the Lans?! Those soft looks! The way they treated him!

Also, Lan Zhan! Are you planning to kill Wei Ying or something?! This one's heart cannot take what you're doing AAAAAAAHHHH!

like flowers in spring (we bloom until we ache), by moonbots

"Wei-sanren," Lan Wangji said. He bowed solemnly, which Wei Wuxian scrambled to return before he gracefully stepped on his sword and took to the air.

Wei Wuxian had heard a lot about Lan Wangji while he was on the road. He had heard of the famed Second Jade of Lan, of his peerless talent in the six arts. He had heard of his unparalleled beauty and his strong sense of justice and kindness.

What an odd guy, Wei Wuxian thought, as he watched Lan Wangji fly away until he was nothing but a speck of white against the blue sky.

in which wei wuxian bounds into the cultivation world headfirst after being the disciple of an immortal for sixteen years, starry-eyed and determined to vanquish evil, but did not expect to be mired in wen ruohan's thirst for power, the complications of sect politics, and the fact that he can't look away from lan wangji's brilliant eyes.

Chenqing: "setting forth one's thoughts and explaining one's actions", by LyzDrake

After an assassin is nearly successful, Wei Wuxian grows concerned that should it be needed, there will be no one who knows the truth. She decides to entrust it to someone honorable, and the last person she ever thought possible.

General:

When the Hills Are All Flat, and the Rivers Run Dry, by stiltonbasket

Wei Wuxian feels her blood run cold.

Yu-ayi’s right. He really is going to choose me, she thinks. Oh, no. Oh, good Heavens, no!

She nearly bursts into tears on the spot; but just as her eyelids begin to sting, she remembers what her aunt said only two minutes earlier and breathes a sigh of relief.

The moment Huangshang lays eyes on you, he will know what choice to make.

In that moment, Wei Wuxian realizes that she can only be certain of evading the Empress’s throne if she ensures that the emperor never lays eyes on her at all.

Or: in the second year of his reign, Emperor Lan Wangji yields to the wishes of his ministers and holds a bride selection to find his future empress.

had a marvelous time ruining everything, by livinginaworldofnoise

“Great news, though—well, actually, it may depend how you define ‘great.’” Wei Wuxian folds himself into a cross-legged position and makes a sweeping gesture with one arm toward the closet, from which Lan Wangji can now hear a strange rattling noise. “While you were gone I managed to catch another one!”

“Another . . . cat?” Lan Wangji pulls the closet door open wider and stares at the cage he finds there, inside of which a small black cat is clinging to the ceiling bars with all the desperation of a cornered wild animal.

“That’s Volcano!” Wei Wuxian says by way of explanation. “She’s a little spicy.”

OR: 5 times wangxian's feral kittens get in the way of lan wangji proposing + 1 time they help

[yibennianyaji]

Recent Movie: Knock at the Cabin

Twelve years ago, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard released The Cabin in the Woods, a metafictional horror comedy seeking to answer the question of just why photogenic young people on idyllic nature getaways keep encountering eldritch horrors who pick them off one by one. There's a lot in the film that hasn't aged well—the meta gags were getting tired almost as soon as they were made, and more recent work, such as the films of Jordan Peele, has done a much better job of blending horror and humor and exploring the roots of the genre's core tropes. But the basic idea of the film—a shadowy organization who are deliberately sacrificing the vacationers in order to spare humanity from the wrath of the old ones—remains strong, arguably stronger than the comedic wrapping that surrounds it. As I wrote in my review, by the end of the movie you find yourself regretting the time spent leading up to this revelation, and wishing the film had started from it as its premise.

M. Night Shyamalan's new film Knock at the Cabin feels like a finger on the monkey's paw curling to give me my wish. It doesn't even bother introducing us to its designated victims—young couple Eric (Jonathan Groff) and Andrew (Ben Aldridge) and their adorable daughter Wen (Kristen Cui)—before establishing the invasion of their lakeside cabin by a foursome that includes Redmond (Rupert Grint), Sabrina (Nikki Amuka-Bird), Adriane (Abby Quinn), and their leader, Leonard (Dave Bautista). And no sooner has that happened than Leonard explains that none of them want to be there or to hurt their captives. They've all had visions showing them that unless the family choose to sacrifice one of their own (suicide or murder by someone outside the family don't count) humanity will be doomed. Each time the invaders' demand that the captives make a sacrifice is refused, they kill off one of their own, which triggers the next phase in the apocalypse.

This is all established within the film's first half hour, after which there's really no place for the story to go except in circles. The captives, mainly Andrew, argue with their attackers, insisting that they are suffering from a shared delusion and that the reports of calamity on the news are fake or coincidental. The invaders tearfully insist that they take no pleasure in the violence they've committed, but that their visions of the coming apocalypse are real. Another film might have tried to create some ambiguity on this point, but this one makes it clear almost immediately that the choice presented to the captives, and the necessity of a sacrifice, are real. Bautista, who has rightly been deployed as the film's main draw in its marketing, plays impressively against type as the genuinely gentle, kind-hearted Leonard, but neither he nor any of the other characters are developed into actual people, whose looming death we might feel genuine regret about.

The closest the film comes to an interesting idea is Andrew's insistence that even if he believed the invaders' story, he wouldn't sacrifice his family to save a world that has repeatedly rejected and victimized him. Almost the only thing we learn about him and Eric in the infrequent flashbacks that pepper the movie is the fact that they've had to fight to be recognized as a couple and a family—we see them rejected by Andrew's parents, having to lie to authorities in China before being allowed to adopt Wen, and attacked by a stranger for having the audacity to have an intimate conversation in public. But this is something the film gestures at only half-heartedly. We're never in any doubt that Eric and Andrew will eventually choose sacrifice over selfishness—it's even fairly clear which one of them will choose to die.

Which, when it comes down to it, renders the film pointless. Whatever its flaws, The Cabin in the Woods recognized that the only rational, emotionally interesting response to its premise was rage. That a system that requires the sacrifice of an innocent in order to keep the world turning is a stupid one, and a god that would demand it is an evil one. That the people who enable that god, even if their ultimate goal is laudable, are enabling evil. The moment in which heroine Dana considers killing her friend Marty in order to save the world is one in which she surrenders to evil, even if that is still probably what she should have done. You might not like an ending to a story in which a good person chooses themselves over the rest of humanity, but it at least demands something from you—to recognize the rage of young people who realize that their elders would rather throw away their lives than do anything to change the status quo; or the affront of queer people who have spent their lives being told that their love and their family aren't real, only to learn that actually, they're real enough to die for the rest of us.

I haven't read the Paul Tremblay novel on which Knock at the Cabin is based, but the story that Shyamalan has made of it does the opposite of making demands on its audience. It offers us cheap consolation—don't worry, some innocent will lay down their life to save the rest of us from our mistakes. It even suggests that the system that demands this sacrifice is a benevolent one, as when Eric begins to have visions that show him that his family will endure his death. The film clearly expects us to see his sacrifice as moving and inspiring, but what actually shows up on screen is mawkish and banal—exactly the kind of morally vacant sentimentality that made me stop watching Shyamalan movies years ago, only for reviewers to turn around and insist that actually, he's gotten good again.

Watching Knock at the Cabin, one can't help but think of the many recent films that have used similar plot elements to far better effect. The home invasion that turns out to be something entirely different is a core component of Us. The designated human sacrifice trying to persuade her attackers that they're in the grips of a delusion was used to tremendous effect in Ready or Not. The family forced to choose which one among their number will die in order to prevent a greater calamity is the premise of The Killing of a Sacred Deer. One things that these movies, as well as The Cabin in the Woods, have in common is anger. They are stories about realizing that the system you move in is diseased, designed to sacrifice the weak so that the strong can keep going. Knock at the Cabin is a bad film because it's badly made, but it's also bad because it expects to look at this system, and feel happy about it.

[motivationisdead]

I’m just saying, if you needed any proof about how righteous and good of a person Lan Wangji (and Wei Wuxian) is just look at his relationship with his uncle and brother in Wei Wuxian’s second life. Me? I would’ve held a grudge for the rest of my life about Wei Wuxian’s death.

Family tea time would’ve been so awkward. Lan Wangji could’ve been so fucking petty. It’s a credit to himself that he did not take that route but just imagine it for a moment:

LXC: Wangji, perhaps you should come with me to the next cultivation conference.

LWJ: … You want me. In a room. With the other clan leaders.

LXC: *confusedly* … Yes.

LWJ: With the same people that villainized and killed the love of my life.

LXC: *tiredly* There were extenuating circumstances and you know it Wangji-

LWJ: In a room with Jiang Wanyin.

LXC: He is a sect leader-

LWJ: Xiongzhang I can not think of anything I could possibly want less except for Wei Ying’s death. Oh, wait.

LXC: *rethinking all of the potential political damage LWJ could do* … Perhaps it would be best if you didn’t go after all.

LWJ: If you insist.

***

LQR: Wangji, there’s a meeting with the elders you’re required to attend.

LWJ: I see. Would it be appropriate to thank them for whipping me within an inch of my life before or after they start airing their grievances about Wei Ying?

LQR: Wangji!

LWJ: My apologies Uncle. I don’t know what else we could possibly have to discuss though.

LQR: … *through gritted teeth* Never mind.

LWJ: Of course Uncle. If that’s your final decision.

LQR: *eye starts twitching*

***

LXC: Congratulations on your marriage to Wei-gongzi.

LWJ: *nuetrally* Thank you Xiongzhang. Your approval means a lot to me after your sworn brother turned the entire cultivation world against him and helped bring about his destruction.

LXC: *downs his tea like it’s a shot of vodka*

***

LQR: How is Sizhui doing?

LWJ: … Sizhui. Your grandson.

LQR: *warily* … Yes.

LWJ: He’s spending time with Wen Ning. *looks LQR dead in the eyes* His uncle.

LWJ: His only family by blood still alive in fact. For a given definition of alive.

LWJ: Because you helped lead a siege on the rest of his remaining relatives. Who were all non-cultivators. After Wei Ying saved them from a labor camp.

LQR: …

LWJ: He’s doing well thank you for asking. More tea Uncle?

***

*Lan Wangji every time he and Wei Wuxian run into his Uncle*

LWJ: Uncle. You remember Wei Ying.

LQR: Yes-

LWJ: *interrupting* My husband.

LQR: I know who he is Wangji-

LWJ: *continuing unfazed* The Yiling Patriarch. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation-

LQR: For God’s sake Wangji! HE’S BEEN LIVING WITH US FOR TWO YEARS! I remember who he is!

LWJ: Of course Uncle. I’m simply concerned about whether or not your age is catching up to you.

WWX: *chokes on his laughter*

LQR: *storms off*

***

LXC: Wangji you can’t do this forever.

LWJ: *diplomatically* If you say so Xiongzhang.

LXC: … Hypothetically though how long are you going to do this?

LWJ: *cryptically* I can neither confirm nor deny anything.

LXC: *regrets everything with more intensity than usual*

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

33 strikes

Wangji knew it would hurt. Of course it would. Pain was supposed to teach him. He would not learn, never, but he had to kneel in the ancestral hall and receive his punishment regardless.

Still, the first hit knocked the breath out of him faster than he thought it would. The whip bit into his skin like a hungry beast, pulling skin and blood to the surface.

Wangji closed his eyes, clenching his fists, exhaling a long breath from his nostrils.

Merciful, they had said. He deserved to die but his uncle and his brother had somehow managed to convince the elders to settle for less.

Not much less, of course.

They probably derived some sick sort of satisfaction from having their sect leader and one of the sect's most respected masters plead for mercy for a man who they considered guilty of treason.

Treason. It's treason to want to protect the person you love.

The founders of the sect would laugh in their faces.

The second hit came before the pain from the first one had fully seared itself in his nerves. Wangji swallowed hard.

He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of hearing him cry out in pain. No. He wouldn't ask for mercy or say he regrets it.

He doesn't. He'd do it again.

The third strike overlapped the first two, the pain momentarily wiping Wangji's train of thought.

He lifted his eyes to glare at the elder wielding the whip. There was hatred and defiance in his eyes, but not a trace of tears or regret.

The elder seemed even more angered at this and the whip beat down on Wangji's spine with even more force than before.

No matter how much they'd whip him, he would never regret saving Wei Ying.

His arms shook as the fifth strike landed, strained under his weight and the burning ache in his back.

They said the scars left behind would be a reminder for the consequences of his thoughtless actions.

Wangji decided, on the seventh strike he received, the scars would only remind him of saving Wei Ying. Of trying to do the right thing.

The eleventh strike had him remember how he and Wei Ying received punishment together after Wangji caught him breaking curfew and smuggling alcohol in the Cloud Recesses. Wei Ying had been so beautiful and playful and graceful from the very first moment Wangji met him. Of course he would sacrifice everything for such a person, rules be damned.

The thirteenth strike had Wangji start thinking of Wei Ying more.

His eyes

Fourteen.

his smile

Fifteen.

his strength

Sixteen.

his kindness

Seventeen.

his teasing

Eighteen.

his lips

Nineteen.

his courage

Twenty.

his inventivity

Twenty-one.

On the twenty-second strike, Wangji had almost smiled, at the memory of Wei Ying throwing flowers for him on Phoenix Mountain.

On the twenty-fifth strike, Wangji had decided that, when he heals, he will flee the Cloud Recesses and go to Yiling and live with Wei Ying.

The next few strikes, he imagined their life together, there. He would help Wei Ying and the remaining Wens build better homes and cultivate the earth with them for a plentiful harvest. He would teach the little boy, A-Yuan, to wield Bichen, and when he grew up enough, Wangji would gift it to him - if he wanted it. He would be there to hold Wei Ying and soothe his pains and help him deal with everything and they'd be happy and safe away from it all.

The pain became so unbearable Wangji could no longer focus on his thoughts anymore.

Twenty-nine.

Thirty.

Thirty-one.

Thirty-two.

I love you.

Thirty-three.

Wei Ying.

[bug-catcher-in-viridian-forest]

When was Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s first kiss in The Untamed?

To answer this question, I think it’s better to reason backwards, starting from...

THE FIRST TIME THEY HAVE SEX Through a mix of visual metaphors and early morning tiredness, it is hinted that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have have sex in episode 43. You can read the full meta here.

But we can also extrapolate how that is the first time they have sex, because it seems that, before that day, Lan Wangji has never seen Wei Wuxian naked enough to see the remaining scar from Mo Xuanyu’s sacrifice. In episode 35, when Lan Wangji enquires about the curse mark on his leg, Wei Wuxian internally thinks about the scar on his arm instead, implying that he is hiding it from Lan Wangji.

Then, in episode 42, there is a reveal about Wei Wuxian being resurrected through a Sacrificing Curse.

Soon after, Wei Wuxian gets injured and faints. He wakes up again the same day as the scene in which subtexts suggests he and Lan Wanji have sex. At this time, Lan Wangji has finally learned of the curse and exposes his scar, indicating that he had not seen Wei Wuxian significantly naked between his resurrection and helping him change after being injured in the abdomen.

Moreover the issue of Lan Wangji’s scars own scars is also resolved indirectly just before that evening, which, although correlated only emotionally and not logistically, could contribute to make it unlikely that, before then, they are intimate enough to already have had sex.

That said, if they have sex when this scene fades to black, their first kiss should be located not later than at this point in time.

BEFORE WEI WUXIAN’S DEATH I believe they cannot have kissed before Wei Wuxian’s death, both because, due to war and separation, there is a decisive lack of opportunity for their relationship to have progressed and because, for much of the flashback, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji as someone that will turn into his enemy.

FROM WEI WUXIAN’S RESURRECTION TO THE YI CITY ARC After Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, the lack of opportunity for great developments persists, even if it’s less marked because we can presume that, since they are travelling together, they spend more time together off-screen. But what really matters is that, at this point, the lack of an understanding between them is evident. During the Man-eating Fortress arc: - according to Wei Wuxian, they are not in terms intimate enough for carrying each other:

- talking about stripping himself in front of Lan Wangji is something that Wei Wuxian still does to vex Lan Wangji and keep him at a distance:

In fact, up until episode 36, the issue of Lan Wangji not siding with Wei Wuxian to save the Wens has yet to be resolved. There is an emotional obstacle between them. It is only when drunk Lan Wangji confesses his regret about the matter that Wei Wuxian can really start to accept that Lan Wangji is now on his side, leaving room for their relationship to develop.

THE YI CITI ARC What’s important about the Yi City Arc it that it contains the catalyst for their relationship to develop. This catalyst is the mirroring relationship of Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan.

At the end of the arc, when Song Lan mourns his partner just like Lan Wangji had mourned Wei Wuxian, they understand how lucky they are to have been reunited despite the latter’s death. It is the push they need to realize that they cannot let this chance fate has given them go to waste.

When they arrive to the next city, there is a clear shift in how comfortable and lovey they are to each other.

In episode 40, Wei Wuxian even quickly sends Wen Ning away very quickly when it’s time for him to be both alone with Lan Wangji and not in a rush for the first time since entering Yi City, then turns around and leans seductively on the window. He probably has plans for the two of them.

Kind of reminds me of this kind of scenes between lovers:

Lan Wangji seems to have plans as well, since he brings alcohol as a gift to make Wei Wuxian happy (and metaphorically to show that he has relaxed on rules, which also include sexual intimacy).

Also, the fact that Lan Wangji knocks before entering the room is consistent with the fact that, although just after arriving in the city they are close to becoming intimate, they are not there just yet (for example he might have wanted to avoid walking into an undressed Wei Wuxian).

What’s more, at the end of the Yi city arc, there is up to a month of free time off-screen before the discussion conference in which their relationship can develop.

THE DISCUSSION CONFERENCE From the first scene of the discussion conference (episode 40) to the scene in which subtext indicates they have sex (episode 43), there is no opportunity for them to have time alone and kiss, so we must establish that: - either they share their first kiss before the discussion conference, during the month off-screen; - or they share their first kiss during the same evening in which they have sex the first time. On the second option there is nothing more to be said, but we can explore how the first option agrees with what happens at the conference. There are a few things that show how Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s relationship has progressed by then: - Wei Wuxian takes an interest in not embarrassing Lan Wangji;

- They are on ‘metaphorically stripping each other as a form of sharing a joke’ terms:

- They are on ‘gently telling each other to be careful’ terms:

- They are on 'lying with whole body in the other’s palm' terms:

- The stares they share have become even more incriminating:

IN CONCLUSION Overall, I think that, given their behaviour at the discussion conference, it’s more likely that they kissed in the month before it than during the same evening as having sex for the first time. So, this is in my opinion the first stare we see them sharing after kissing for the first time:

[oristendir]

Continuation to this post

The first time Jiang Cheng saw Nie Mingjue, he was enamoured. The man's muscular frame and golden eyes sent 13 year old Jiang Cheng's heart beating faster than Wei Wuxian could speak.

Jiang Cheng was sure that if Nie Mingjue looked at him, even briefly, he would simply combust on the spot. Luckily, the man's attention was on Lan Xichen, so Jiang Cheng could keep his dignity and reputation intact for now.

He left and pushed the thoughts of Nie Mingjue to the back of his mind, saving the fantasies of being crushed by those arms for his dreams. He got good at keeping his thirst for the man under wraps, content with the fact that, as one of Nie Huaisang's best friends, he would be able to see him when he went to visit Qinghe.

He knew he would never see another man who was practically dripping sex appeal quite like Nie Mingjue in his life. He was okay with that. Nie Mingjue provided enough fantasies for a lifetime.

Then he saw Sect Leader Wen, and he thirsted.

The man's crimson eyes always burnt Jiang Chengs soul when they swept across him. His robes did little to hide his bulging biceps. The sheer power oozed from the very fabric of his being and Jiang Cheng wanted.

He knew it would never amount to anything but Lord, what he would do to be crushed in those arms. His fantasies shifted, featuring 2 absolutely chiseled men ruining him until he could hardly think.

And then the Sunshot Campaign happened. Jiang Cheng never regretted killing the Wens, nor did he regret Wen Ruohan's death. But he regretted depriving the world of Wen Ruohan's scorching hot face and body. Priorities am i right?

So now he was down to 1 eye candy, but that was okay. Chifeng-zun provided enough for his fantasies even if Wen Ruohan made continued appearances.

And then Chifeng-zun was gone. And now there was no more eye candy. Sure, Zewu-jun looked handsome, and Jiang Cheng supposed that Jin Guangyao looked fine. Lan Wangji, laothe as he was to admit it, looked better than he acted, but none of them inspired Jiang Chengs fantasies.

Time went on, Jiang Cheng recieved numerous courtship letters and he was flirted with. He couldn't deny that there were some handsome people asking to marry him, but he could never find himself interested.

Jiang Cheng grew up with Nie Mingjue and Wen Ruohan. He was practically immune to hot people by now. The cultivation world spread more rumours as countless honey traps failed and Sect Leader Jiang remained single.

Then that Lan Jingyi kid apprached him. And he knew the look in that boys eyes. He could practically feel the want emanating from the boy, the same way he was sure it did from himself years ago. He realised the truth.

He was a DILF. He had reached the same level as Wen Ruohan and Nie Mingjue. He was the one people made fantasies about. And he reveled in that knowledge.

[ibijau]

forbidden romance gets a pt2! / on AO3

“It won't work,” Lan Xichen said with great gentleness, clearly worried about hurting Nie Huaisang's feelings.

They'd decided to meet again in that same clearing, after a few secret letters exchanged. Nie Huaisang would have preferred to only talk that way, because he trusted himself to make a person fall in love through poetry more than through his actual personality, but things had been getting... difficult at home.

So there they were again, alone in this isolated little spot of wilderness, hidden among the many shadows of a moonless night. Lan Xichen, this time, was wearing dark blue to better disappear into the night, or perhaps as a small act of rebellion against his sect. Nie Huaisang too wore dark colours, his robes those of a servant. He didn't enjoy the feeling of that rougher fabric, but there had been no choice.

Things were difficult at home.

So difficult that Nie Huaisang had taken the risk of telling Lan Xichen why he'd first tried to contact someone from Gusu Lan, all those weeks ago.

“Music can't heal him then?” Nie Huaisang asked.

“It can,” Lan Xichen corrected. “The issue is that your brother will not allow it.”

“Not if it's you, that's certain,” Nie Huaisang agreed.

He might have said that with a touch more bitterness than he should have. Lan Xichen ever so slightly flinched at the attack, though at least he didn't try to defend himself. Maybe he was feeling guilty over what had happened.

Good.

It was his fault.

“Maybe if it's your uncle who comes play for him?” Nie Huaisang suggested. “Da-ge trusts him.”

“From what you said, I don't think your brother trusts anyone anymore,” Lan Xichen replied. “I cannot blame him for it.”

“He trusts his family,” Nie Huaisang claimed with a confidence that he was far from feeling.

He'd always known that his brother trusted him. They fought and argued and disagreed and bickered, but at the end of the day they trusted each other.

They used to trust each other.

Now Nie Mingjue saw enemies everywhere, and Nie Huaisang had been forbidden to leave the Unclean Realm. For his own safety, his brother had said. And maybe he'd meant it, or maybe he'd held suspicions of some sorts. One of his brothers had just tried to kill him after all, and there were many precedents in history concerning half-brothers scheming against one another for power. Not that Nie Huaisang had ever care for power much, but he couldn't be sure Nie Mingjue remembered that.

“Da-ge has always held his sect dearer than any other leader of a great sect,” Lan Xichen agreed with a fond smile. “And perhaps... Huaisang, are there any musically inclined people among your brother's disciples?”

“No. Some of my cousins play, but very poorly. I think out of everyone in the Unclean Realm, I'm the most talented musician, and that tell you everything you need to know.”

“It does,” Lan Xichen said with a tender expression that made Nie Huaisang feel they probably meant very different things.

“I'm a very poor at it,” Nie Huaisang insisted, opening a fan to hide behind.

“I've heard you say the same thing about painting,” Lan Xichen replied. “And about poetry. I've also heard you say countless time that you never get your way with anything, only to get everyone to do exactly as you like. I think you're not always the best judge of your own abilities, Huaisang.”

That was a very low blow, especially when Lan Xichen had the guts of smiling. A real smile, that was, not the empty expression he usually had when talking to people, and which made him look like a doll, pretty and sweet but ultimately dull.

“I didn't take you for a sweet talker, er-ge,” Nie Huaisang said.

“I don't take myself for one either. I haven't said anything I don't mean,” Lan Xichen insisted, before reaching out to take Nie Huaisang's hand in his.

Nie Huaisang's other hand tightened on his fan, his face burning in spite of the cold of night. Which wouldn't do at all. He was the one supposed to be seducing Lan Xichen into actually helping!

“Er-ge, I'm very glad you think so well of me, but I simply cannot...”

“Do you play the guqin?” Lan Xichen asked, and it was so rare for him to interrupt anyone that Nie Huaisang could only silently nod.

He felt a pang of regret when Lan Xichen let go of his hand. He was only missing the warmth, he told himself. Then he saw Lan Xichen produce a guqin from a qiankun pouch, and regret was soon replaced by panic.

“You're not serious,” Nie Huaisang gasped, watching as Lan Xichen carefully set the instrument on the smoothest patch of ground to be found in the clearing.

“I am very serious,” Lan Xichen replied after sitting down, making a gesture to invite Nie Huaisang to do the same. “You've said this place is isolated, and I need to hear you play to find out if you might be taught Cleansing.”

Nie Huaisang shivered at the name of that song, and glared at the guqin.

“Isn't that song a Lan secret?”

“I have previously obtained permission to teach it to an outsider to help with da-ge's poor health,” Lan Xichen said. “I believe I am still within the perimeter of what was granted to me.”

It surprised Nie Huaisang that Lan Xichen could twist the truth like that. In other circumstances, he might have been impressed. At the moment though, he was little inclined to think well of Lan Xichen.

“Considering what happened last time, I'm surprised you're sticking to that plan,” Nie Huaisang said, only to regret it when pain flashed on the other man's face.

“It would be different this time,” Lan Xichen replied, lowering his gaze, though he could not hide the slight trembling in his voice. “I know I misjudged A-Yao. Your brother was right, and I was wrong. But when it comes to you, da-ge and I have always been of a same mind. If I cannot trust you to save him, there isn't a person in the world I can trust.”

That might have been the nicest thing anyone had ever said about Nie Huaisang.

It might also be the most overestimated he'd ever been in his life. Because while he would very gladly do almost anything to save his brother, as long as if didn't involved getting dirty, or physical effort, or indeed efforts of any sort at all... well, the fact still remained that Nie Huaisang had no cultivation to speak of, no friends to rely on, and no useful skill of any sorts.

And yet knowing all this, Nie Huaisang still found himself sitting down on the dirt next to that damn guqin. He closed his fan, stretched his fingers, and tried to recall one of the few melodies he'd ever bothered to learn before he'd decided that music was too much work. It had been so long, though, and instead his mind provided him with the only piece of music that had been on his mind in recent weeks.

It took a dozen notes at most for Lan Xichen to realise what Nie Huaisang had chosen to play. He stiffened and went pale, but did not order Nie Huaisang to stop. On the contrary he listened attentively through the whole piece, though at one point Nie Huaisang must have made some great mistake because Lan Xichen frowned and couldn't refrain a grimace of distaste. It only lasted a short while though, after which his expression turned more neutral again until Nie Huaisang was done playing.

“As I've said, I have very little skill,” Nie Huaisang said, putting his hands on his knees. “You'll need another...”

“I assume you've never seen the score of Cleansing?” Lan Xichen asked.

“No. San-ge was always worried about me dirtying it. It made me real mad, too! I'm only a little clumsy!”

“So you just played it by ear?” Lan Xichen insisted. “I don't recall that I ever played it in your presence though.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head.

“I spied on them,” he confessed. “San-ge didn't want for me to hear him play it because he said it might have a bad effect on me, seeing as I didn't need it. But I was curious. And bored. And I don't like being told what to do.”

To his disappointment, Lan Xichen didn't smile at that little joke, and only grew more serious.

“And you played it exactly as he did?”

“As close to it as I can do with my skill. Do you... do think that was the wrong version of the song?”

“A whole passage is different,” Lan Xichen confirmed. “It's... Huaisang, are you well?”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He felt like screaming, and he felt like crying.

That time he'd spied on Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue to hear Cleansing had been the very first time Jin Guangyao played the song alone for their brother. If Cleansing had already been altered back then, it meant...

Somehow, Nie Huaisang had convinced himself that the attempt on his brother's life had just been that one bad healing session. Nie Huaisang had been so fond of Jin Guangyao before this whole business, he hadn't wanted to imagine the other man could be cruel. Ruthless, yes, but he was a Jin after all so it was to be expected, and every sect engaged in a little murder here and there. But this hadn't just been murder. It had been torture. A healing song modified until it became painful to whoever heard it, until it drove them to madness, to no longer knowing friend from foe.

Suddenly, Nie Huaisang found himself a little more willing to believe some rumours he'd heard, about Jin Guangyao having served Wen Ruohan as the chief inventor of his torture playground. He'd always dismissed it as impossible, since Jin Guangyao was so sweet and soft spoken. But it took a certain kind of mind to do what Jin Guangyao had done to Nie Mingjue.

“I'm going to kill him,” Nie Huaisang hissed.

“I don't think da-ge would want for you to become a murderer,” Lan Xichen replied, ever practical and sensible.

He would have been right, once. Nie Mingjue wanted for his little brother to be stronger so he could protect himself, he'd never aimed to turn Nie Huaisang into a killer.

Now, though, nobody really knew what Nie Mingjue wanted, himself least of all.

“We'll see in time how to ensure those who harmed da-ge pay for what they've done,” Lan Xichen promised, leaning toward Nie Huaisang to put one hand on his shoulder. It felt comforting, more than it had any right to do. “For now, let's focus on healing da-ge,” Lan Xichen continued. “I was right to suspect you're a better musician than you said. I think you really can do this, with a little work. I'm going to leave that guqin with you so you can practice, and next time we meet I'll bring you the score for Cleansing so you may learn to play the true song. That will leave us only with the problem of how to get da-ge to listen to it but... I'm sure you'll find something. You've always been so good at getting him to do what you want.”

That was asking too much, Nie Huaisang thought. He was only himself. Even if he learned the score, his cultivation was too low, his brother's patience too thin. It would surely go very wrong, the way everything kept going wrong lately.

If it had been anyone else telling him he could save his brother, Nie Huaisang would have laughed to their face, or suspected them of manipulation. But Lan Xichen was the sort of person who would say nothing to avoid saying something he didn't believe in, or else he would quietly change the subject, or ask for another person's opinion, or...

Lan Xichen, as far as Nie Huaisang knew, just didn't lie.

Meaning he had to really think Nie Huaisang could do this. That he could master the guqin in just a few weeks, and also master a song that Lan Xichen himself has often described as particularly complex.

It was ridiculous, and Nie Huaisang was too realistic to have any faith in himself, but...

But perhaps it would be enough that Lan Xichen believed in him.

It made him want to make an effort to try, at least.

[stiltonbasket]

chancellor of the morning sun: burdens, mingjue (youth)

In which being a woman in the cultivation world is difficult, and Nie Mingjue comforts a friend.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | | Part 8 | Part 9 | AO3

On the night after the welcoming banquet, Nie Mingjue wakes to the sound of someone crying outside his door. 

This was by no means unusual when he was younger; Huaisang often had night terrors after his mother died, and refused to sleep without Nie Mingjue for the next three or four years. But A-Sang is thirteen now, far too old to come crying to his da-ge after dark, and the person on the other side of his door seems to be a woman. 

“Who’s there?” he calls, lighting one of his dream lanterns before getting out of bed. “A-Sang, is that you?”

“No, it’s me!” a familiar voice shouts, nearly sending Nie Mingjue to the ground as he scrambles to keep his footing. “A-Jue, let me in!”

Nie Mingjue drops his lantern and tries not to panic. The crying is still going on, but the person who called his name was Lan Xichen, without a doubt; and if she had come to his chambers this late, with the Unclean Realm full of foreign cultivators who would gladly take any chance to see her reputation ruined, then she must have come to seek his help with some kind of emergency.

And Nie Mingjue has not forgotten that the son of his father’s murderer is sleeping under his roof, or that Wen Ruohan openly sought Xichen’s hand in marriage for Wen Xu, and would have forced the two to meet if Nie Mingjue’s own fuqin had not intervened.

“I’m coming!” he says frantically, throwing the door open and grasping Lan Xichen’s arm the moment she crosses the threshold. “Lan Huan, I’m—”

And then he looks over Lan Xichen’s shoulder, blinking at the miserable line of young maidens trailing down the corridor behind her. Jiang Yanli is standing at Xichen’s side, crying into her sleeves, and Qin Su and Jin Zixuan’s first shimei are there, too; and Wen Ruohan’s young niece is standing in the back, holding Qin Su’s arm to keep her from falling over. All five girls smell of liquor, even Xichen, and Nie Mingjue gapes at them in bewilderment as Xichen fists her hands in his tunic and shakes him from side to side.

“Jiang-jie won’t listen to us!” she complains, sobbing drunkenly into his chest: which sets Jiang Yanli off again, and then Luo Qingyang starts weeping, too. “A-Jue, tell her!”’

Mingjue frowns. “Tell her what, A-Huan?” he says gently, wiping his intended’s face. It will be ruin for them both if anyone spots her here in the middle of the night, let alone with four other girls in front of his private quarters, but Nie Mingjue would rather cut his own hands off than turn the girl he loves away in such distress. “What’s wrong?”

“Jiang-guniang thinks she’s not worthy of Zixuan,” Luo Qingyang wails. “But just look at him! He prances around like a prize stallion, and he keeps making a fool of himself everywhere he goes! It’s pathetic! And he keeps talking about how wonderful he is, almost as much as Zixun! Nie-zongzhu, I have to beat him up twice a month to keep him in line, and it’s not even working!”

“Not worthy of Jin Zixuan?” he snorts. “Jiang-guniang, it’s Jin-gongzi who isn’t worthy of you. A-Huan, didn’t you tell her so?”

Jiang Yanli only cries even harder, and Xichen gives him a reproachful look and pinches his stubbly cheek. “She won’t listen to us when we tell her she’s more than enough. Yanli thinks we have to say so, since we’re her friends, so I brought her to you so you could tell her instead!”

“Jin-gongzi should count himself lucky that a maiden like Lady Jiang would give him the time of day,” Nie Mingjue says promptly. “He’ll get over himself in time, and Luo-guniang will beat him into the ground if he doesn’t. Right, Luo-guniang?”

Luo Qingyang nods fervently before listing straight into one of the walls. “I will!” she yells, as Wen Qing reaches over and puts her back on her feet again. “‘N then I’ll put itching powder in Jin Zixun’s pants, and, and…”

“Steal his wine again,” Qin Su suggests, letting out a loud burp. “That peach-blossom brew was delicious. Don’t you feel any better after drinking it, A-Li?”

“No, I don’t,” Jiang Yanli murmurs. “Good night, Nie-zongzhu. I’m going back to bed now.”

“Yanli!” begs Xichen, throwing herself at the shorter girl and almost knocking both of them backwards onto the floor. “Yanli, don’t go! You’re worth a hundred of Jin-zongzi, you—A-Jue, help!”

“What am I supposed to say?” he asks, thoroughly bewildered. “I can go challenge Jin-gongzi to a duel myself, if you like. Would that cheer you up, Jiang-guniang!”

But to his surprise, Jiang Yanli only goes to her knees and trembles like a kitten left out in the cold, sobbing about her fears for her future at Koi Tower and her dread of being bound to a man who will never respect her, her terror at the prospect of having no allies past her wedding day save for her mother-in-law, and then about having to spend the rest of her life within reach of Jin Guangshan. 

“Mother keeps telling me that I should try to do better, so that Jin-gongzi likes me,” she chokes. “And one of my Yu aunties told me once that Jin-gongzi has to like me, since that’s going to be the only thing keeping me safe from—from—”

“Why haven’t you spoken to your parents about this?” Nie Mingjue demands, aghast. He knows very little about how his own engagement was settled on Xichen’s side; but not long after his ascension, he discovered that neither she nor her uncle were consulted on the matter, and that the sect elders only informed Lan Qiren of his niece’s engagement after the betrothal papers were sealed and signed and the bride price was already paid. 

Nie Mingjue’s father made the agreement believing that Lan Qiren was amenable, and would have dissolved the betrothal in a heartbeat if Lan Xichen ever said she was unhappy with it—even in the months just before his death, when his greatest regret was that he would likely not live long enough to see his grandchildren. But he never disapproved of Lan Xichen’s decision to remain unwed until Wangji was at least eighteen, though the wedding was originally set to take place just after Xichen turned eighteen, and he would even have accepted a divorce if his daughter-in-law initiated it. 

And Jiang Fengmian is widely known to dote upon his daughter, just as Nie Mingjue’s father doted on Lan Xichen, so why would he not offer the same choice to his child that Nie Huangyin gave to A-Huan?

“Father would break the engagement if I asked, but Jin-furen is mother’s best friend,” Jiang Yanli weeps, in answer to Nie Mingjue’s unspoken question. “It would make things so difficult between them if Jin-furen ever knew I felt this way. And A-Xian and A-Cheng already hate the idea of me marrying into Lanling, Nie-zongzhu. It would be so much worse for them both if they found out I was afraid.”

“It is better out now, than ten years from now, when you are wedded into that house and bound there by a husband and children,” Nie Mingjue says somberly. “Jin Zixuan is not a bad sort, but if he can look upon a maiden who spends her days tending to her family and teaching in orphanages and finding apprenticeships for street children, and call such a girl unworthy because of her looks and low cultivation—then he is not worthy of any wife, let alone one like you, and I pray he will come to recognize it without some great tragedy to bring him to his senses.”

“But—”

“If A-Huan were to lose her cultivation, I would still count myself as the luckiest man in the world to be her husband,” he declares. “And if she were not beautiful, that would be nothing to me. Whatever the strength of her golden core, and whatever she looks like—her heart has nothing to do with either her face or her jindan, and I love her for that above all things.”

Jiang Yanli’s jaw drops open, and she stares up at Nie Mingjue in open disbelief. Xichen is far too drunk to register what he just said, and Wen Qing seems to have stuffed bits of cloth into her ears to keep herself from listening to anything Jiang-guniang would not have confided while sober—but the word love still burns on his lips like the hot filling from Lan Xichen’s sweet bean cakes, flooding through every inch of his body until he can think of nothing else, and he spends a good two minutes in a kind of stricken trance before wondering if saying such a thing before Maiden Jiang might have hurt her feelings.

“It didn’t,” she says softly—because apparently, Nie Mingjue said that last aloud. “I think I see now, Nie-zongzhu.”

Nie Mingjue opens his mouth to ask what she means, but a small purple blur interrupts him before he can get the words out. The blur skids around the nearest corner, screeching in indignation at the sight of Yanli’s tearstained face, and then it turns upon Nie Mingjue and demands an explanation. 

“What did you say to my Shijie?” Wei Wuxian cries. “Shijie, did he bully you?”

“Silly A-Xian,” Jiang-guniang smiles, ruffling Wei Wuxian’s hair. “Nobody bullied me, but Nie-zongzhu made me feel much better.”

“By making you cry?” Wei Wuxian says doubtfully. “Should I get Suibian?”

“A-Xian, no!” Jiang Yanli is giggling now, kissing her brother all over his puffy cheeks. “Come on, let’s go back.”

Wei Wuxian drags her off down the hallway, casting suspicious glances over his shoulder, and Wen Qing charges herself with the duty of escorting Luo Qingyang and Maiden Qin back to their own quarters. However, she declares in no uncertain terms that managing three drunk girls is beyond her, and that leaves only Nie Mingjue to look after Lan Xichen. 

“Your uncle’s going to kill me if he finds us,” he whimpers, as he struggles up a flight of stairs with his betrothed yawning in his arms. “And then A-Sang will spend the rest of his life on birds and fans, and never catch up with his lessons in time to attend your clan lectures.”

“Shufu likes you,” Xichen assures him, patting the tip of his nose. “He would never do such a thing.”

“He would if he thought I’d been improper towards you,” Nie Mingjue groans. “A-Huan, have you had anything to eat after you started drinking?”

“Mm, A-Su brought snacks. And Wen Qing kept slipping headache medicine into my wine.”

Nie Mingjue sighs in relief and hugs her a little tighter. “Good. Will you try to drink a little water after we get back to your room?”

Xichen nods drowsily, nearly stopping Nie Mingjue’s heart as she nuzzles against his shoulder, but he manages to get her up to her bedroom in one piece and helps her get into bed, making sure she lies on her side to prevent choking in the morning. He also puts a few pieces of rice candy on her nightstand since he always carries a handful in his pocket for Huaisang, and fetches a glass of water for her to drink when she wakes. 

Lan Huan is fast asleep by then, breathing quietly in her nest of blankets with her hand tucked under her cheek, and Nie Mingjue makes it as far as the door before remembering that she is still too drunk to be left alone.

But she doesn’t have a maidservant, Nie Mingjue thinks desperately, staring wildly out of the room as if one might climb out of the nearest cupboard. And Wangji didn’t come along this time, and I can’t wake Lan Qiren—

Oh, no.

Oh, this is very bad. 

Anything could happen to Lan Xichen with so much alcohol in her blood, and she might even stop breathing during the night and smother. But there is no one to fetch except for Lan-xiansheng, and that means Nie Mingjue will have to stay with her until she wakes. And given the fact that Lan Qiren will be looking for his niece by mao hour tomorrow, while Lan Xichen will probably sleep a shichen longer than usual—

Nie Mingjue sinks down beside the bed and puts his head in his hands. 

Well, that settles it, he despairs, pulling the thick blankets away from Xichen’s face. Lan Qiren is definitely going to kill me. 

But he would be lying if he said that the sight of Xichen’s peaceful face was unworthy of death by uncle-in-law, so Nie Mingjue accepts his demise with grace and starts planning his funeral instead.

___

When Lan Xichen opens her eyes, the first thing she notices is the dull pain in her head. 

The second thing she notices (after gulping down the water and candy on the nightstand) is that someone seems to have left a heap of something dark near her bed; probably a bag, or a pile of clothes, though she can’t see well enough to tell what it could be. 

And the last thing is that her uncle is sitting on a chair by the door, tapping his foot loudly enough to make her head pound. 

“Shufu,” she croaks, struggling upright with the aid of one of her pillows. “What are you—”

“Disciples of the Lan clan must not consume alcohol,” he says, strangely calm despite the enormity of her transgression. Her clothes still smell like Baling mead, sweet and spicy and fruity all at once, and she nearly dies of shame at the thought of how shocked Shufu must have been when he found her. “They must not go out of doors after haishi. And they must never share chambers with any member of the opposite sex to whom they are not married, unless they are a relative.”

Lan Xichen freezes. “What?”

“Should I not be asking you that?” her uncle reminds her. “What is Nie-zongzhu doing in your bedchamber?”

Thunderstruck, Lan Xichen stumbles out of bed and stares at the dark heap on the floor, which yawns at her touch and stretches like a cat before springing up in horror. 

“Lan-xiansheng, it’s not what it looks like!” Nie Mingjue cries, making Lan Xichen shrivel at the memory of how shamefully she must have behaved last night. “I only wanted to make sure Xichen was safe, I would never—”

“And you did not think of waking me?” Lan Qiren lifts his eyebrows at them. “Even if you wanted to ensure that my niece was well, how could you risk being seen leaving her rooms in the morning? My own quarters are just on the other side of the hall.”

Mingjue ducks his head in shame, and Lan Xichen suddenly wants nothing more than the comfort of his hand in hers. “I didn’t want her to get in trouble, xiansheng,” he mumbles. “She only came out last night for someone else’s sake, and I couldn’t have borne to see her unhappy just for that.”

“You are a sect leader, Nie Mingjue. Don’t look down when you speak to me,” Shufu scolds. “As it is, I am glad that you did not leave her. But as her uncle, I must order you to go now before the breakfast bell, lest you ruin both of your reputations at once and force her to marry before she is ready.”

Mingjue takes the hint and flees, leaving Xichen and her uncle alone. Shufu says nothing more for a while, merely studying the ceiling as if the laws of the Lan sect were inscribed there, and then he clears his throat and points to the stack of parchment on her desk.

“Copy each precept you broke, a hundred times each. The tenth, eighteenth, and seventy-first laws. Go.”

And then, after a moment’s lull:

“I think he will be a good father someday, A-Huan,” Lan Qiren reflects. “Your little ones will want for nothing, what with how he cares for you and how much he coddles Huaisang. I could not have found you a better husband if I chose for you myself.”

Lan Xichen drops her paintbrush.

“Shufu!”

[perkynurples]

... May I ask you about the slow excruciating progression from Meng Yao to Jiggy?

also paging @holdmycaffeine and @cadencekismet, who asked me for the very same, and @acutebird-fics, who is my partner in crime deep philosophical discussions about these characters, and a great deal of this messy essay is informed by those

Tl;dr: JGY is a multifaceted character and the author struggles not to lose her mind trying to find the right words to describe that. Literally every single point of this rant is up for discussion, begging for it even, so please don’t hesitate to engage me, but, like... tomorrow, maybe. After I sleep it off.

Meta I used or referenced: THIS ONE explaining how JGS deciding to give him the name GuangYao is all kinds of wrong | THIS ONE talking about the red bindi-like Jin forehead dots, among other things | THIS ONE about his capacity for evil and his own recognition thereof

-

Alright, without any fancy preamble, here goes. Honestly, whenever I think about JGY for more than three seconds, it becomes painfully evident that there are two wolves inside me at all times - one wants to spend tens of thousands of words exploring his narrative, his choices, his abilities and his failings, his capacity for violence as well as his capacity for love...

And the other one just likes to call him a gremlin in chief in a fancy hat, and doesn’t want to go much further than that. I’m going to try and feed them both.

The thing that pisses me off about Meng Yao is just. The fact that he doesn’t stay Meng Yao, and we get to watch it happen in slow motion. You get a tiny little twink-ass kid who suddenly finds himself adopted into the Nie by the Sect Leader himself, and this is Meng Yao, the son of one of Jin Guangshan’s many mistresses, who doesn’t have a whole lot going for him aside from that, at that moment - his cultivation, weak. His opportunities, nonexistent. His dick, small. His political savvy, only just starting to show itself.

And this guy gets the chance of a lifetime presented to him on a Qinghe-silver platter. Like, we can argue about book canon and try and decide if he did anything at all to make NMJ notice him, but show canon makes it all the more hilarious (again, please refer to this gem of a post for a level of humor I’m sorely incapable of) - you’re seventeen, and the Batman of the cultivation world picks you up and elevates your status across swathes of societal norms, to a level you previously could have only dreamed of.

It’s interesting to me to try and imagine if this was the moment that Meant Something - in the grand scope of things, of course it did, because it started MY on the road to JGY, but also to Meng Yao personally, in terms of what he believed he could comfortably achieve. I do not for a second believe he started out wanting to murder people to reach his goal, or that he even had a good goal to begin with - being accepted by his father, maybe. Murdering the (at the time) greatest villain in the world, becoming a renowned spy, landing an incredibly beneficial sworn brotherhood, et cetera et cetera? I mean, the kid has wet dreams, but no way do they reach this far at this point in his life.

But so many things about him are unclear. Show canon changes his timeline, in that he met NMJ before he met Lan Xichen, and even accompanied NHS to the Cloud Recesses. Either way, his stint with the Nie is incredibly personally important to him. I firmly believe he loved and admired them, in his own way. He certainly flourished under NMJ’s tutelage and approval, but in the end, his motivations, his entire raison d’etre, clashed with NMJ’s too much. To Meng Yao, who’d gotten kicked down those infamous Koi Tower stairs for daring to ask for his father’s attention, murdering a guy for slandering him and his mother was a natural outcome of being slandered his entire life, and finally having had enough - to NMJ, it was unforgivable.

But this still isn’t where Meng Yao becomes Jin Guangyao, and it begs the goddamn question - how much of what JGY was perfectly willing and capable of doing to stay in power, had been present in Meng Yao that entire time? You see him make excuses that someone who isn’t NMJ, with his incredibly staunch morals and black-and-white view of the world, might have even accepted, but instinctively, you know - making excuses is just how it’s going to be with this guy.

Because Meng Yao, as well as Jin Guangyao, lies, and he is damn good at it. He is so good at it, that he lies his way to the very top of the Wen, all the way to Wen Ruohan’s side. His lying is what enables him to become Jin Guangyao. And like any good liar, he doesn’t only lie to the people around him - he also lies to himself.

And I can’t blame him, because - been there. Lying to yourself becomes absolutely necessary, when you want to keep everyone else around you believing in a mask you wear. You need to start believing it, at least a little bit, at least sometimes, for it to work.

At this point, you’re probably wondering - but Annie, what about the time he spent a year sheltering Lan Xichen? Did he lie then? Was he not just Meng Yao, a poor but cunning bookkeeper, then? I’m getting there, I swear. Slowly and in a roundabout sort of way, because honestly, I don’t know how I can start talking about the LXC of it all, without it turning into a novel.

Because whichever way you twist it, whatever canon you choose to follow, one constant remains - A-Yao’s feelings for Lan Xichen. I’m deliberately not calling him Meng Yao or Jin Guangyao, because it’s these feelings that divide the two, but also ultimately unify them, fatally so. But we’ll get there.

In one version of events, Meng Yao travels to Cloud Recesses at the behest of NMJ, and falls in love with a statue made of jade there. In another version of events, they meet during something LXC only describes as ‘the shame of a lifetime’. Both of those events lead to Meng Yao sheltering LXC, hiding him, saving his life and those precious Gusu Lan texts.

Whatever version of events you choose to see as the right one, one other truth also remains - Lan Xichen offers freely and without asking that which Meng Yao has had to struggle to attain, that which has been denied to him time and time again, based only on the circumstances of his birth: respect. Lan Xichen never looks down on him, never brings up his origins, and instead extends him respect and dignity in a way only he is capable of - no fucking wonder Meng Yao admires him. No fucking wonder, when this amazing guy, this perfect pristine handsome number one young cultivator, looks at him, smiles at him, and actually sees him, son of a whore or not.

No fucking wonder Meng Yao loves him, and Jin Guangyao continues loving him. No fucking wonder he never means to hurt him, but does so anyway.

But here’s the thing - lying to yourself to make things work only gets you so far. Do I think Meng Yao spends restless nights in cold sweat dreading who he’s becoming, thinking about all the lives he’s taken to further his goals? Absolutely not. Do I think he does good things, often even great things, because it helps him feel better about himself? Do I think he both loves Xichen and keeps him around because it’s beneficial to him, having the Lan Sect Leader in his pocket, but also personally speaking, having someone who so firmly believes in the goodness in him? You bet your overly adorned murderhat I do.

And frankly, reducing Jin Guangyao to one or the other - coldblooded murderer or a man plagued by his own insecurities, helpless and trying to be kind in a world that’s so evidently against him - is doing a character like him a huge disservice. You have to consider all sides, if you want to truly understand him. Hell, I myself am by no means claiming to truly understand him! He pisses me off daily, and I’m writing this stream-consciousness-y thing because he simply won’t shut up in my head.

This kid makes Choices, and here’s the catch - he doesn’t regret a whole lot of them. If anything, I’d like to think he regrets going along with his father’s plans for so fucking long before finally realizing that avenue won’t bring him what he seeks. Killing Jin Guangshan, by the way? Very sexy of him, that I’ll admit. Guy was a pig.

But even the obviously Good Choices he makes? Building those damn watchtowers? Letting Mo Xuanyu stay at Koi Tower? Seating Qin Su by his side at that same throne where his shitty father entertained concubine after concubine? (Frankly, please make up your own mind as to whether he was lying or telling the truth about learning about Qin Su being his sister before or after they’d consummated their marriage, I’m choosing to believe that he hadn’t known.)

How much of it really happens out of the goodness of his own heart, and how much of it happens because he wants to improve his own reputation, kintsugi away the minuscule cracks in his own image until he’s once again a perfect picture of Jin gold? Is he himself even capable of telling the difference, recognizing where his good intentions end and his desire to look out for number one begins? When you spend so much time crafting your own perfect mask, in your own head as well as others’, the lines blur real fast.

I think ultimately, he craves respect as much as he does pity, and those two never mesh well - the cultivation world never truly accepts him, his father certainly never truly accepts him, but Jin Guangyao is not Wei Wuxian, he can’t just look at all of these perceived injustices and slights, all of this gossip and slander, and say ‘Whatever’. No, Meng Yao takes one look at the world standing against him so very vehemently, and decides to fight it, fight tooth and nail for his place in it, until he comes out Jin Guangyao on the other side, gilded and pristine, ascending the stairs of Jinlintai to exact his revenge on anyone who dares not accept him.

The Guanyin Temple, in a way, is a perfect little vignette of his character - we observe him wildly oscillating between seeking out the aforementioned respect and pity, confessing boldly and laughing loudly one second, and pleading on his knees and clutching onto Lan Xichen’s robe the next. To him, that night, and everything leading up to it, is a series of footholds - the ground begins crumbling under his feet when he learns of the letter, and he has to act fast. 

He buys himself time, excuse after excuse, thinking on his feet, and here’s the thing - he’s not necessarily the best at that. Anymore. Up until that point, until the letter and Qin Su and WWX turning up, everything is going according to plan, and his plan at this point is, frankly, correct me if I’m wrong, sitting pretty at the top of his golden tower and making sure the truth about him never comes to light, which... Well, we all know the truth has a nasty way of coming around when it’s least convenient for you. 

And I think Jin Guangyao (not Meng Yao) is, at that point, unused to being inconvenienced. Everything he ever does, he calculates, he twists the public opinion of himself, he twists individual people’s opinions of himself, to suit him - nothing unexpected ever happens anymore, because he’s played the game long enough to foresee most things. Nie Huaisang beats him at that same game, not because he has a huge plan spanning decades of his own, but because he’s good at improvising, kicking the hornet’s nest and then knowing where to direct the fallout - but that is another essay all of its own waiting to happen.

For now, I feel like I need to wrap this up before I lose my mind. Personally (and please feel free to challenge me on this any time), I don’t feel like there’s a single defining moment, or even a handful of them, traumatic or otherwise, that irrevocably turns Meng Yao into Jin Guangyao. Sure, being kicked down the literal stairs leading to a better place for you a handful of times will have you feeling some kind of way. Sure, serving a maniacal warlord while playing an impossibly high-stakes game of spy poker will leave a mark or two. Sure, your sworn brother spitting in your face the very insults you’ve been hearing your whole life and never learned to shake off, will make one more vestige of patience inside you irrevocably crumble to smithereens. But.

Your whole life, you work very, very hard. You know to put your head down and get your hands dirty, but you also know that sometimes, the best way out of a hairy situation is turning on those puppy eyes and appearing just a smidgen weaker, a smidgen more frightened and helpless, than you actually are. And if, when you actually tell the truth and people still don’t believe you, lying becomes easier, becomes, eventually, so easy it feels as natural as breathing? Well. Might as well use that particular skillset to sneak your way through a war, am I right? Might as well use it to build yourself a nest among the very vultures who resent you, and whom you resent, and make sure that they have to respect you.

In the end, to me? Jin Guangyao is the guy who jumps from person to person, from callout to very personal callout, there in the Guanyin Temple, just to stall for time, just to regain some sort of foothold in the situation - he’s the guy who probably views losing an arm as a necessary sacrifice, shakes it off and still gets to work from there.

Meng Yao is the guy who wants to take his mother with, and who asks Lan Xichen the one question he’s dreaded knowing the answer to his entire life - not ‘will you stay and die with me?’, but the one that hides beyond that.

Is this what devotion is? Respect? Love? Is there, at this moment in time, enough of all of those things in your heart that you will, in fact, stay and die with me?

When Lan Xichen says yes, without words but still loudly enough to be understood without a doubt, Meng Yao is relieved, while Jin Guangyao is vindicated.

When Lan Xichen says yes, neither version of A-Yao needs to hear any more than that - the seventeen-year-old boy shooting a shot way above his station and loving a statue made of jade, who wants Lan Xichen to survive, and the man wearing the wrong name and the title of the first Chief Cultivator of his generation, who wants Lan Xichen to live with the weight of all his mistakes and misgivings, are both, for once, in accord. They’re both happy, and they both make that final push to save him.

In conclusion, if there even is one to this jumble of random thoughts... Jin Guangyao and Meng Yao are one and the same. Aspects of one can be found in the other, but neither feels remorse about his choices. Both of them, in turn, are capable of amazing things. Both of them are, in fact, capable of decidedly horrible things. One builds a wall around the other so thick, so impenetrable, you only catch glimpses, and only the ones he allows you to see. One learns very quickly that vulnerability is dangerous, unless employed proactively, and the other one perfects the craft.

Both of them believe they are perfectly justified in their actions. Both of them believe their own line of reasoning, their own excuses. Both of them want to be loved, for very different reasons, or for the very same ones, at the end of the day.

Both of them aspire to greatness, Meng Yao some vague idea of it instilled in him by his mother teaching him to believe his own worth, Jin Guangyao a more concrete vision of it, always one step ahead, one step higher up those gilded stairs. Both of them are willing to excuse a whole lot to reach it, too.

And when Jin Guangyao finally stands in Koi Tower, properly this time, wearing that coveted golden peony, wearing that red zhushazhi and a much nicer version of the hat his mother always told him to wear, but also wearing the wrong fucking name, one that barely gives him a spot in the family he belongs to by blood?

All he needs to do is take one look in the mirror to see Meng Yao staring back, always there with him, always ready to remind him where he came from. He’s seventeen years old, and he just buried his mother, and somewhere out there, the rest of his life awaits. His smile is all dimples, and that, too, they have in common.

Time to get to work, Meng Yao suggests, and Jin Guangyao agrees.

[rosethornewrites]

Fics I read this week!

I started this right after posting the last one, so I’ll hopefully keep it up. A lot of the multichapter fics are ones I subscribed to that finished. A lot of the one-shots are under 5k words, with some being 100-word ficlets.

Finished:

Not Rated:

Wei Changze's weird day, by Weiyingbestboy

Wei Changze was minding his own business, when four potential time travellers dropped out of the sky. Literally.

Serenity Cave, by Anonymous

The travel home had been mostly silent. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian competing for who could say the least amount of words.

Then, as they’d been walking along the mountain path, just a little past the gates of Cloud Recesses, a hole suddenly opened up in the ground beneath them and they fell into a small rock cave. Then the hole shrunk until it was barely big enough to poke a sword through. Just enough of a gap that they had a bit of light and wouldn’t suffocate, but definitely too small to escape through.

The earth had swallowed them.

…

In the middle of an argument, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian get trapped in a cave.

In Which Lan Xichen Returns to the World, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Xichen ends his isolation after the death of Jin Guangyao.

In Which Lan Qiren Requests an Audience, by AshurbanipalJones

Lan Qiren wants to discuss Important Matters with his nephew. His nephew is kinda not having it.

Mercy Meet Vengeance, by ShanaStoryteller (7th in a series)

The first time Wen Qing meets Wei Wuxian, she has a white sash around her waist.

Rated E:

Thirty-three Lashes, by Winglesss (20 chapters)

Yiling Laozu is dead. He's been dead for over a thousand years. For over a thousand years Lan Wangji has been wandering the world alone, helping where he's needed.

It's when he meets a mysterious cultivator and a strange curse starts to torment his body that the past and the present start to mingle, igniting emotions Lan Wangji almost forgot he was able to feel.

curiosity is the beginning, by everyearning (noctiphany)

He's just curious. Wangi's brother always said he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He also said it was going to get him in trouble one day.

Rated M:

devil from heaven, by incendir (3 chapters)

He would like to think that he knows what Lan Wangji could enjoy, if he’d let himself do so.

(or, wei wuxian's road to discovering lan wangji's yiling patriarch kink)

in this lifetime, by hauntedotamatone

Lan Wangji must reach him. There is still time. All he has to do is reach him. They’ll take A-Yuan and whoever remains and they’ll go as far and fast as they can. The world is vast, there must be a place for them somewhere, and if there is not, then he will carve one out from nothing if that is what it will take.

“Wei Ying!” he calls out to him over the roar of the flames and the familiar and terrible sounds of battle. At first, he thinks that Wei Ying is ignoring him or otherwise does not hear him. Then, his fingers still over his flute. He looks up with those empty eyes, unseeing. There is no hatred in them, but there is no affection or recognition either. There is nothing at all.

Lan Wangji has a terrible nightmare for the first time in years. For the first time in years, he does not wake up alone.

We Are Family, by Duochanfan (13 chapters)

Jiang Yanli heard the words spewing from Jin Zixun's mouth and said enough. After putting the man in his place she leaves the Hunt with her brother and Lan Wangji. The three come across Wen Qing, and with that simple meeting, they change what could have happened to something else entirely.

until it's time to see the light, I'll make my own with you each night, by backbones

His husband would never go back to sleep if he sensed something was wrong, and he always did. He knew him better than he knew himself, sometimes, and maybe that was why that feeling was so foreign it was horrifying. He wanted to keep that part of himself close, a well-kept secret, and now, deep down, he knew it was too late for that.

Or: After having a nightmare in a deep sleep, Wei Wuxian has a surprise visit from an old childhood habit.

Rated T:

Wei Wuxian Discovers Bisexuality, by arcaladiwoompa

AU where WWX decides he quite enjoys being passionately kissed against a tree by an unknown assailant and acts on it instead of just sitting there going herp derp I wonder who this very strong cultivator could possibly be.

Rescue, by WithBroomBefore (6 chapters)

Post-Sunshot fix-it AU featuring Jiang siblings taking care of each other, among other things.

Over the Rotted Bridge, by vailkagami (41 chapters)

Lan Wangji saves the Wen remants from execution but is killed in the process. The Yiling Patriarch loses himself in grief and rage and the determination to bring him back no matter what.

The world is not on his side in this. It is not on either of their sides when he succeeds. But The World is not all of its people, and some things can always be salvaged from the ruins.

Across, by vailkagami

An epilogue to the story "Over the Rotted Bridge", set in the far future. Cannot stand alone.

Centuries after the fall of the cultivation world, Wei Wuxian and Wangji return to the burial mounds for the last time.

Completion, by youjezebel

Lan Wangji misses raising A-Yuan. Wei Wuxian wants to be a father. In the end, everything works out perfectly.

Second Nephew, by vividneonmanias

"You need to stop talking to Wàngjī," Lan Xīchén told him, in the uncannily stern tones of a Sect Leader and not a nephew; "and preferably stop talking about him, if you cannot control yourself."

In the years following Wèi Wúxiàn's death, Lán Qǐrén learns to hold his tongue. But he still wants to know his second nephew. Some things need to be said; some questions need to be asked.

oceans, drowned in starfire, by stiltonbasket (10 chapters)

Lan Wangji breathes.

There is a tattered red ribbon trailing through the water beside him, and below him, a crooning, echoing song that clears his mind and stops him from struggling against the waves.

Lan Wangji breathes, and sleeps, and wakes again.

When he opens his eyes on the beach to find Huan-ge and Shufu crying over his body, he hears a lifeguard say that he was underwater for almost half an hour. ___

Tired of life in the business world, Lan Wangji returns to his mother’s old house to pursue a career as a novelist and search for the mysterious fisherman who rescued him after he nearly drowned on a whale-watching trip twenty years ago.

He wasn’t expecting much more than a quiet refuge to serve as inspiration for his work, and restore his spirits after half a lifetime spent in the city. But when a lost merbaby washes up on the beach in Caiyi, Lan Wangji realizes that his childhood savior might be closer than he thinks.

adding shadows to the walls of the cave, by Fleetling

It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to see what he was pointing at, and as soon as he did, the smaller man turned back to face their juniors. “Cave!” he shouted across the thunder of the raindrops hitting the muddy path. “Hanguang-Jun found us a cave! We’ll stop to dry off, and head out again once the rain has stopped!” Beside him, Lan Wangji inclined his head in silent agreement. The bickering of the juniors cut out as they focused on making it the remaining short distance on the slippery ground.

They all huddled into the entrance of the cave, taking refuge from the rain, but waiting for directions before heading in.

Ouyang Zizhen ran his hand over the wall, feeling slight bumps and indents below his fingers. He brushed off the dirt, reading the characters revealed. “The lovers’ cave,” he read, shaking his head with a smile. Probably a local pair who came here occasionally. It was a bit romantic, when one thought of it. It also probably meant that the cave was safe - no lovers would hide away in a cave that contained resentful energy or other dangers.

Say It Until I Hear You, by DrowningByDegrees

Lan Zhan does not say what has him rattled, but neither does he retreat. He concedes by fractions, an embrace he does not shake off, a shaky sigh when his forehead comes to rest against Wei Wuxian’s collarbone, a wordless surrender when Wei Wuxian gathers him closer. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know precisely which ones, but there are ghosts in bed with them tonight, sorrow and regret and all the might have beens they cast aside so long ago.

Dull Comforts, by Just_Another_Mystery

Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.

Downpour, by milesofheart

The way Wei Ying had looked at him…warily, expecting a fight, steeling himself for Lan Wangji to denounce him. Waiting for the worst from Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji’s heart cracked down the middle and his whole body shook as he wept now in the rain, the mud of Qiongqi Path seeping into his once-pristine robes.

on the importance of home (and all it implies), by nixtothou

The Burial Mounds are empty.

Wei Wuxian had expected this, yet for some reason it still hurt to see.

The Best Place to Study, by adrian_kres

Lan Zhan decides to study in the law library this time. He leaves with a boyfriend.

Rated G:

cadillac converter, by mdzsed

lan zhan's car starts making weird noises so he takes it to get it repaired. the new mechanic does not look like he knows what he's doing. good thing lan zhan is no fool.

or: lan zhan makes a complete idiot out of himself but hey, it scored him a date with a handsome mechanic so it's all good.

a small spark, by sebfish

It had started, as many things did, because Wen Qing was worried, and Wei Wuxian had learned early on that she wouldn’t budge until she’d gotten her way.

Winter in Cloud Recesses, by Sarehz

Winter in Cloud Recesses was cold. Really cold. It was a chill that penetrated Wei Wuxian's bones and reminded him of that period after his parents died when he shivered alone in the streets.

His Face, by AshayaTReldai

Among Su She's possessions was found a qiankun pouch containing a sheaf of sketches of Hanguang Jun, inspiring a lifetime's exchange between Wei Wuxian and his husband Lan Wangji, studies of his face.

anger, by theninjacat

Beloved Old Lines, by Preludian_Staves

A quiet Wuxian was a creature Qiren had learned to never trust in mixed company.

I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight, by Sarehz

Wei Wuxian was sitting on the roof. Again. It had become his go to place recently when he had to attend these sort of boring meetings where all the Sect Leader's met up and congratulated each other on defeating Wen Ruohan and blah blah blah.

Unexpected, by WithBroomBefore

It is not, from Lan Wangji’s perspective, an unpleasant kiss. He has no particular objection to kissing people, though admittedly he has only ever done so as a prelude to activities that involve various other bits of the body. And it is Wei Wuxian; nothing involving Wei Wuxian is awful. The kiss is...fine.

Modern AU, just some aroace/aro queerplatonic roommates finding the words.

An Accidental Clothes Thief, by Preludian_Staves

He should have probably realized what he'd accidentally done before starting work on a new talisman.

Groupie, by Speechless_since_1998

Being the manager of a band was hard work, but someone had to do it. And Lan Xichen was the only one able to keep members of his brother's band in line.

A Silver Thread, by DizziDreams

Lan Wangji is brushing Wei Ying's Hair before bed, when he sees it, glinting like a fish through the dark glassy waters of a deep pool:

A single, silver hair.

The sky is overcast and I'm sorry, by hamlets_ghost (8th part of a series)

Wangji's brother is gone once again.

A-niang explains.

Follow the sound of pipe, follow this song, by fairyprincess2

He took the last steps needed to reach the opening and there he was, black and red clothes flying with the wind, hair bound up in a ponytail with a red hair band. He was standing with his back facing Lan Wangji but it was him, he knew it was.

(In)Hindsight, it's obvious, by Potatoes_Radishes 

Lan Qiren woke up undisturbed, calm and refreshed, that was enough for him to immediately know something was odd, mainly due to the lack of noises during the night that made him suspect it, he grumbled away his frustrations regarding what he assumed would have been another prank as he got up to get dressed.

When he left the bathroom and moved outside, a very different set of robes awaited him, one he hadn’t worn in years. He finally took a notice of his surrounding, the room was different resembling the one from before their rebuilding, not caring about his state of undress as he open the door almost on the verge of panic, the first thing that rang out in the morning was a loud yell of “WEI WUXIAN!!!”

Unfinished:

Rated E:

taking over you, by sassybluee (3rd in a series)

Before, he’d once fantasized about giving in—shutting Wei Ying up with his lips, stilling his limbs with his own forehead ribbon. He imagined himself making demands. And then Wei Ying went missing. Wei Ying was presumed dead. And Wei Ying returned from the Burial Mounds. By then, Lan Wangji’s desires had long since cooled, and all that remained was longing. Longing to ease Wei Ying’s suffering. Longing to help him know he was not as alone as he seemed to feel. He would have gladly given him everything back then, if he knew how to ask for it. Would have surrendered his body to show him he cared.

And now?

_____

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian explore married life, and all that entails.

Rated M:

Keep Holding On, by abCEE

As they reached an inn and Wei Wuxian got them a room with three beds, the world seemed to have frozen for Jiang Yanli when her brother suddenly fainted and Jiang Wanyin was just fast enough to catch him before his body could hit the floor.

"A-Xian!"

"Wei Wuxian!"

In which after the Lotus Pier Massacre: Wei Wuxian was greatly injured by Zidian, Jiang Yanli left the inn to buy the medicines and food, and Jiang Wanyin distracted the Wens.

(With a bonus of Wei Wuxian knowing the title of the song and more things ensued inside the Xuanwu Cave that may or may have not involved Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon)

Canon diverged from there.

Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend

Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?

Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.

lan jingyi vs. the laws of time itself, by agloeian (2nd in a series)

His kick has dislodged some stray fragments of Guanyin Temple's destroyed ceiling beams. Jingyi stares at them as he kneads his toes through his boot. They’re as red as the blood that stains the floor beneath him, sharp and splintering. Wind whistles through the wood and stone, though there’s a flickering too - the sound of paper fluttering in the breeze.

A talisman written in blood.

---

Lan Jingyi finds a way home.

Dream a little dream of me, by Moominmammashandbag

Lan WangJi braced himself.

“Wei Ying.” he said.

“You are not dreaming. This is real. You have been rescued.”

“The kissing bit comes first!” said Wei Wuxian impatiently.

“But…I cannot kiss you if you think you are dreaming!"

“I don’t see the logic in that.” said Wei Wuxian. “I obviously want you to kiss me or I wouldn’t be dreaming about it!

Rated T:

Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo

Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.

Well, that and Hanguang-jun.

Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.

-

Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.

Here We Go Again, by Alliandra

He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.

Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.

Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?

A Teacher’s Oath, by MaelStromm

Deep down, only one thing really matters.

It is not being a good Lan, despite what the entire cultivation world may think, nor is it "sucking the fun out of life" as some disciple had once said.

More than anything, Lan Qiren is a good teacher.

Despite too many to count prejudices and the boy's chaotic behavior, he'll burn his ribbon before he lets this genius be wasted.

Or :

An AU where LQR gets along with WWX and somehow ends up having to deal with far too much drama.

I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green

One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.

Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.

And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.

[rynne]

Something I love about WWX is that he never regrets saving the Wens. The strength of his conviction is just...inspiring.

And it’s not that he just accepts what happened in his first life. We see several moments where he’s sarcastic or otherwise recognizes the hypocrisy of the sects. We see others when he recalls the pain he endured. Even after his resurrection, he’s still not okay with how the sects treated him then and still treat him now.

It’s also not that he’s just not the type to regret his decisions. I think that’s part of it, but we saw in his conversation with JC about the core transfer that he had to persuade himself he was okay with it. He is a person who looks forward rather than backwards, but that’s a deliberate action as well as a natural perspective.

“But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on.”

This is a hard philosophy to hold to! When someone has encountered a major loss, it’s pretty natural to wish it hadn’t happened or think about what they could have done differently. And WWX lost terribly, but he never thinks he shouldn’t have saved the Wens. He told us that whether he won or lost didn’t matter because he knew what the right thing to do was, and his resolution was put to the test, but he kept it.

It’s especially impressive because for almost the entire story, he doesn’t even know that A-Yuan survived. He goes through the story thinking he only managed to save Wen Ning, who still suffered terribly. But he never thinks that his sacrifice was in vain, and therefore it was meaningless. It wasn’t meaningless to do the right thing, even if it didn’t work out. This kind of conviction is just...really impressive.