#and he hears ‘kill yourself actually’

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

WHEN OUR LIPS WEREN'T READY TO KISS

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem! Summary: the times you've talked to Eddie. Warnings: none A/N- guys i'm gonna make this a series because i love these two so much.

THIS IS A PREQUEL PART 2 OF Should have kissed you

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-August 20th, 1985- first day of senior year

your locker was next to Eddie's, so it was kind of hard to avoid him even if you tried, you'd always see him at least once a day.

of course you've heard of him, everyone has heard of Eddie Munson, the super senior, the freak.

so to say you were panicking on the inside as you walked up to your locker, seeing him stading right beside yours, digging into the metal box, numberd 169, is an understatement.

you had swallowed thickly before stepping up to your own locker, putting in the code.

in the corner of your eye, you noticed Eddie looking at you and you wanted to run, he was going to sacrife you, wasn't he? or planning to. oh no, oh God no, you have to run.

you hid behind the door when you heard his slightly cough

you had squeezed your eyes shut before you peeked over your door, finding him looking at you

but when you looked into his eyes, you didn't see a deep pit of fire so hot you felt like you would burn if you got too close.

you didn't see the devil looking back at you

you didn't see anything people described him as, all you saw was a pair of deep brown eyes looking at you softly, a tight smile planted on his lips when he looked down at the floor

you frowned, of no, this was a trap, the devil was disguising himself, he's checking you out to see if you're worthy of sacrifice, run

when he looked back up you looked away, back to digging in your locker, you were scared, to say the least

"that's fine, s'just tryn'a tell ya, you dropped your pen" he bent down picking your pen. feeling the feathery pompom on the end

you looked back at him and stared at your pen. you judged him too quickly, maybe.

"thank you" you mumbled, taking the pen from his hands when he held it out for you

he turned around without another word, shutting his locker and walking off

you might have been a bit rude. but you were just looking out for yourself, right?

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-August 21st, 1985-

it was the next day, and you waited by your locker until the bell, trying to catch Eddie before class.

yesterday was slowly eating you up, you had no reason to be so standoff-ish towards him

he hasn't done anything to you personally, so you have no reason to be scared until he kidnaps you..and kills you.

the bell rang and you watched as he walked into the school. his eyes were dull, yet you didn't see any dark storm following him. he wasn't scary at all.

"Eddie! hi" you called out to him, drawing his attention.

Eddie looked in your direction when he heard your voice. his eyebrows furrowing as he walked to his locker

he looked behind him, but everyone was had gone to class already.

he opened his locker, confused when you stayed there, peeking over the door as he opened it.

"hello?" he spoke wearily, moving his head back to get a better look at you

you looked nervous. of course you were, most people were scared of him. he wouldn't expect you to be any different

pretty girls, ugly hearts, only choosing to follow the rumours. it's a tale as old as time

you looked down, and he had noticed you playing with your fingers when you spoke

"I uh...I wanted to say sorry... for ignoring you..a-and being rude.." you apologised

when you looked up, you saw his eyes blink, but it looked more like a twitch or flinch, in a way.

Eddie had never been apologised to, so to hear those words...it meant...a lot.

"oh" he started, swallowing thickly "thanks"

you smiled sheepishly; you had actually smiled. at him. that never happens.

"so um. you have history? right? Missus Click?" he mumbles

you nodded your head, holding your history book to your chest

he shut his locker and nodded for you to follow him.

you did, not knowing he was in your class as he hadn't showed up yesterday for the last period lesson.

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-September 11th, 1985-

you walked around the school, official papers in your hand, counting the number of signatures you have so far.

you strolled into the cafeteria and looked around the tables, trying to figure out who would sign the paper for you, until your eyes landed on the hellfire table.

surely, right?

you walked over and tapped Eddie's shoulder, ignoring the looks you got

Eddie huffed and got ready for a rut with a peer when he turned around, but he saw you, standing behind him with that smile again.

"hi, Eddie" you swallowed "I was wondering if you'd sign my petition, the school is trying to cancel the play this year but my friends and I-" you started before he cut you off

"-sure" he grabbed the paper and pen, signing messily on the paper, passing it around the table for the rest of the club to sign

that's when you took the time to look at him.

his hair was wild and frizzy, falling just past his shoulders. his shirt wrinkled with the sleeves rolled up. his jackets hung over the back of his chair. thats when you noticed the tattor that adorned his right arm.

there was one just peeking out from his sleeve, one that looked something like a dragon.

there was one on the inside, a puppet skeleton? with horns, was it the devil? you didn't know

but then the bats, the swarm of bats right below his elbow. you stared at that tattoo for a while, why? you don't know

you liked it

they seemed faded. or a bit rough, like he had done them himself, you wouldn't put it past him. he's very crafty, you've noticed.

he grabbed the pen and paper when everyone had signed and handed it back to you "good luck with the..play"

you thanked him before reluctently walking away. frowning to yourself

you can't stare at him.

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-December 28th, 1985-

Christmas Holiday started a week ago and you were walking through the town with some christmas money, planning to spend a few bucks on a cd that one of your favourite artists released.

you walked into the music store, hearing the soft bell above your head as the scent of new vinyls filled your nose

you loved that smell

the sound of softly playing music can be heard from the radio on the front desk, something from Kate Bush's new album.

you smiled. strolling to the back of the store to the genre you were looking for

your hands reached up and found the plactic cases, flicking through them to find the album, looking through the order again and again, sighing when you couldn't find what you were looking for, maybe it sold out quicker than you could get there, or they didn't get it yet.

your frowned, turning back around, your eyes finding the big METAL sign.

you looked around but it was an empty store, the only person was you and the owner, reading a magazine as he sat down at the front desk.

you stepped forward, intrigue taking over you as you peeked at the front albums, finding grusome covers, images of hell or a woman being ripped apart, only wearing a bikini made you frown.

no one dares touch this section, that's why dust covers your finger as you swipe the sign.

only satanists listen to metal. that's why you looked around again, still, finding no one.

if anyone saw you looking at metal music, word would spread, and you would be a social outcast. a freak. that couldn't happen

you raised your hand, feeling a breeze of heat wash through you as you picked up an album.

it was orange, with a man in a tight black bodysuit, his chest in view, showing his hairy nipples and he held a flag, he looked kind of scary as he snarled.

the writing in the corner, a nuetral yellow wrote W.A.S.P

a hand on you shoulder is what brought you out of the trance, making you jump and let out a squeal.

that was it. your social life was done, over.

you turned around frantically, dropping the album at your feet when you saw Eddie in front of you

he threw his hands up

"sorry.. didn'mean to scare ya" he let out a short, surprised chuckle

he had immediately noticed that you were on edge, blinking quickly and he bent down to pick the album up from the ground

"ah. the last command, exactly what I came here for...you alright?" he looked you up and down

you nodded vigorously, blinking up at him.

he licked his lips "the critics don't seem to like this album, scored it a 45. but i know better than to listen to assholes that call themselves critics"

his lips curled into a smile, it almost looked wicked as you let the anxiousness wash away.

but you blinked one more time and focused on the plush of his lips, the way they upturn when he smiles, his dimples full on display.

it almost made you weak, but you quickly snapped out of it.

you noticed the silver pin on his denim jacket, W.A.S.P.

"don't worry.. M'not gonna tell anyone I saw you" he sighed "it'll be our little secret" he winked

you felt your cheeked redden at the action and you look away

you stood there for a second before rushing out the store, leaving him there, confused, but he didn't let himself be surprised

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-February 7th, 1986-

you avoided Eddie like the plague after your run in at the music store. school had been back for a month and you timed out when you'd go to your locker every day

hiding behind the wall to see if Eddie was there, if he was, you'd wait until he left, or if he wasn't, you'd quickly get your things and rush to class before he was there.

Eddie obviously noticed this, he told himself he didn't care that much, because mostly, he didn't care, he understands, he just thought you were a little different.

he walked the halls, metal lunch box in his hand as he came back from the cafeteria. he opened his locker and stuffed the box in when he heard a bunch of girls giggling, coming out of the cafeteria, going to the bathroom, probably. but he heard you. your giggle.

he doesn't know when he memorised your laugh. he only cared when he heard his name.

right, they were laughing at him.

he looked back into his locker and reached for his campaign book when he heard the locker beside him open.

"hi" you mumbled

how could you go from making fun of him one minute, to trying to be friendly the next. fuck that

you watched as he slammed his locker shut and walked away

oh.

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-February 15th, 1986-

you were sitting in History, Mrs Click rambing on about something, you wouldn't know, you weren't paying attention.

you were too budy staring at him.

the sun was shining through the windows, casting a glow on his pale skin as he played with his pencil, tapping his foot.

his jaw was clenched, and his eyes were closed as he slumped in his chair

you propped your chin on your hand and just stared, you just weren't aware of it.

you must have been staring a while because when Mrs Click turned around from the board, she immediately caught you

"please pay attention" she scolded your name, hand on her hip with her strict voice

everyone turned to you when you woke up from your trace, finding Eddie looking right back at you with a slight frown.

your eyes widened and you looked away, mumbling a quick sorry before you looked down at your desk

you got to get a hold of yourself, you thought to yourself

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-April 1st, 1986-

You could feel the tension in the air as soon as you spotted Eddie by your lockers. You should have known he’d be here, but it didn’t make it any easier. The space between you and him felt heavier, like there was an invisible line drawn that you couldn’t cross—no matter how much you tried to avoid it.

You took a deep breath, stalling for a moment in the hall, your heart pounding in your chest. You weren’t sure if you were more afraid of him, or what people would say if they saw you talking to him. Maybe both. You had made it this far without looking like an outcast, without drawing any more attention to yourself than necessary. But here he was.

Eddie didn’t say anything when you got closer, but you could feel his eyes on you. That gaze. That steady, unblinking gaze that made everything inside you twist. You tried not to react. You couldn’t show that you were nervous. You couldn’t let him see how much you hated the way you were reacting to him.

The locker door creaked open, and you focused on your books, your fingers fumbling to pull the right one out. You could feel the weight of the silence stretching between you two. It felt suffocating, like you were caught in some moment you couldn’t escape from.

You glanced up once, just enough to see Eddie watching you. His expression was unreadable, his dark eyes intense but not hostile. He looked like he was waiting for something, but you didn’t know what.

Your throat tightened. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many things you didn’t want to say. Apologies. Excuses. But instead, you just let the silence fill the space. You turned your focus back to your locker, shoving your books inside quickly, anything to avoid looking at him for too long.

You felt him shift beside you, like he was about to move, but he paused. You could feel his presence next to you, like a shadow you couldn’t shake off. The air between you seemed to hum with unspoken words. You couldn’t bring yourself to break the silence, so you kept your head down, trying to make the moment end faster than it had started.

The seconds dragged on, and you were sure your heart was beating loud enough for him to hear. You could practically hear the thoughts swirling in your head, and none of them made you feel better. Why couldn’t this be easier? Why couldn’t you just ignore everything that made this so complicated?

Finally, Eddie exhaled sharply, his voice quieter than you expected. "You know," he started, his words deliberate, as if he was trying to find the right thing to say. "Not everyone’s as bad as they say. Not everyone’s like the rumors make them out to be. I’m not some... demon they talk about. Just a guy, y’know?"

He stopped there, his eyes still on you. There was a moment of raw honesty in his gaze, something vulnerable that made your chest tighten.

You couldn’t bring yourself to respond. You didn’t know what to say. His words lingered in your chest like a weight, but you refused to acknowledge them.

"just thought you were a little different, guess not"

He gave a small shrug, almost as if dismissing the conversation, and stepped back slightly. Then, without another word, he turned and walked away.

You stood there for a long moment, staring after him, your hand still resting on your locker. You could still feel the sting of that brief interaction, the confusion it stirred up inside you. Why did it feel like it mattered so much?

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-April 10th 1986-

You stood in front of your locker, fidgeting with your books, heart pounding in your chest. You knew you couldn’t keep avoiding him. You had to apologize—no more hiding. Taking a deep breath, you finally spotted him, walking toward you, looking as relaxed as ever, but you could sense the tension in the air.

You called out, your voice a little shakier than you intended. “Eddie!”

He stopped in his tracks, his eyes meeting yours, and you could see the flicker of surprise in them. He didn’t say anything, just waited, his posture still tense.

You swallowed, feeling the weight of everything you’d been avoiding. “I... I wanted to apologize,” you blurted out, not knowing where to start. “I’ve been avoiding you, and I shouldn’t have.”

You looked down, feeling a rush of guilt, but you forced yourself to meet his eyes again.

“I don’t think you’re a freak, Eddie.”

He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. You weren’t sure what he was thinking, but his silence made you anxious.

“I just… I care too much about what people think,” you continued, stepping closer to him.

Eddie glanced at you for a long moment, his gaze unreadable. Then he let out a slow sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. People… they don’t exactly paint me in the best light.”

You nodded, your stomach flipping. “I know. But that’s not… I don’t want to be like that.”

For a long second, Eddie didn’t say anything. He just watched you, his expression softening, the walls around him starting to come down a little. He leaned back against the lockers, folding his arms.

Your chest tightened, and you took another step closer, feeling the weight of the moment. “I’m sorry. I really am. I don't think you were what people say you are.”

He looked at you then, like he was really seeing you for the first time, his eyes softening, the usual hardness gone. “You don’t have to apologize, you know. It’s just… you’re not the first person to avoid me.” His voice was a little gentler now, and you could tell he wasn’t angry.

You nodded, the tension in your shoulders easing. “I know. But I don’t want to be like them.”

For the first time, Eddie’s lips curled into a small, almost amused smile. “Well, I appreciate that.”

You both stood there in the silence, a little awkward, but it didn’t feel as heavy as it had before. You had no idea where things would go from here, but it felt like maybe you could start over. Slowly.

“Thanks,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter now, but not without a trace of warmth. “It’s… good to hear.”

You gave him a small smile in return, relief flooding through you.

Eddie shrugged, like it didn’t matter much to him, but there was something in the way his eyes lingered on you that told you it did. He straightened up, then, looking like he was ready to move on.

becuase he knew what he was. and he knew you did too. he wants to believe you though, he really does, but actions speak louder than words, he's come to find.

With that, he turned to leave, but not without a glance back over his shoulder, his usual smirk making an appearance again. It wasn’t like everything had changed in that moment, but maybe you’d both taken a step toward something different. Something real.

You couldn’t help but feel a little lighter as you closed your locker, the weight of the tension between you finally starting to lift.

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Taglist: @exploding-bonbon @xlostitx @pupwrites @carolineesnell

@foreveranexpatsposts @itsmadamehydra

reply if you want to be on the taglist for this series. and thank you for all the love on the first one!

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[323cutie]

Ok not to give tonal whiplash from the sweetness of Woo and Jongho to absolute freak nasty thoughts buuuuuut… I was rereading the sextape with Wooyoung post you did a while back and it got me thinking… say it is a video call with Sannie… how the hell does he even react to that? And how likely is to end with you in bed with both of them one night because he can’t fucking get the images out of his head? And how encouraging would Wooyoung be about it? And how sweet and hard and comforting and also mean would they be together? -🐍

so uh. Um. yeah. splitting this up into 2 parts i couldnt help myself. nonnie ur killing me.

cw ୨୧ erm. sex tape? phone sex? threesome? kind of dubious consent on san's end so tread with caution but he gets into it, blowjobs, one line abt face slapping, a teeny bit of hair pulling, wooyo is an instigator and a brat, finger sucking, masturbation (male, referenced), dirty talk

18+ mdni!!

"Say hi, baby."

Wooyoung's voice is hazy and disconnected, whiny behind the flash of his phone. It takes a little too long for you to even register what he said, prompting a light slap to your cheek from him, and you pull yourself off of his cock to look at where you're pretty sure the camera actually is.

"H-Hi, Sannie," you say, breathless, swallowing what spit collected in your mouth from sucking Wooyoung off. You don't really know what to say, so you let Wooyoung push your hair out of your face and blink wetly up into the light. There's a muffled sound and then you hear San for the first time since he picked up the phone.

"Fuck," he curses, voice obviously strained even through the speakers. From behind the flash you catch a glimpse of Wooyoung's savage smile. "What is -- Wooyoungie, what are you --"

You guide your mouth back onto Wooyoung's cock and sigh at the weight of it on your tongue. He groans and uses his free hand to hold your hair back, speaking, but not to you: "Thought we'd -- ah, fuck -- put on a little show for you, Sannie," he says. You look past the phone at him and his breath hitches. "Wanted to treat you."

"Treat me?" San breathes, and you take Wooyoung's cock just a little deeper to see what both of them will do. The reaction is immediate, a sharp tug on your hair and a moan from Wooyoung simultaneous with the whimper you hear San let out. "This is..."

You pull back and Wooyoung lets you. "Wanna look good for you, Sannie," you say. Your voice is hoarse but you don't think they care.

Wooyoung jumps in immediately. "Looks so pretty, huh?" He eggs San on, hand squishing your cheeks together then pushing two fingers into your mouth. "Perfect for sucking cock, right?"

The noise San lets out is obscene, something crossed between a bitten back whimper and a gasp. Addicting, and you want to hear it over and over again. After half a second, he says, "fuck, yeah, so pretty. So beautiful."

The praise warms you. "You touchin' yourself, Sannie?" You ask, the first few syllables crowded by Wooyoung's fingers in your mouth until he takes them out. There's panting, then another glimpse of Wooyoung's grin, and San must have nodded. You wish you could see him. Probably looks just as pretty as he says you are, red faced and wrecked, eager to feel.

"Go on, then," Wooyoung says, tapping the tip of his cock against your lips -- a prompt, a reminder. "We said we'd give him a show."

[stardustamaryllis78]

I was thinking about Zubeia's info dump about Aaravos and how she calls him a villain for "pulling strings and causing all the world's crisis."

But then I started to think about in season 7 and the conversation between Aaravos and Ezran where Ezran says, "Your crimes cannot be counted Aaravos. But they're remembered by your victims throughout Xadia." Aaravos responds, "It seems you have already decided upon my guilt." To which Ezran responds, "Guilty or not, a king must look into the faces and hear the words of those he judges. Aaravos, what do you have to say for yourself?" Aaravos replies, "I am innocent."

And remember, Aaravos can only tell the truth whereas Zubeia is capable of lying.

So then I started to think about the rest of the conversation and how Aaravos states that the reason he "betrayed" the Dragons and the Elves is because he gave humans magic. This is even backed up with Sol Regem and Rex Igneous calling Aaravos "Betrayer".

So, at the end of the day, it would appear that Zubeia was incorrect about her claims with what Aaravos had done. Aaravos appeared to have been aiding humans, especially humans with magic he gave them but saying he created every world crisis is just outright wrong. Especially as, after he was imprisoned, many crisis' still occurred. He was literally hated for giving magic to what Dragon's and Elves considered to be lesser beings.

Now of course, there is the whole "compromise" thing where of course Aaravos can control Dark Mages if he so wishes but let me put this to you, why didn't he control Viren when he first saw him? Why work with him instead of outright controlling him? Plus, before Callum was purified of Dark Magic, Aaravos possessed him once so he could talk (roast) Team Zym before he dipped, why not just control him there and then? It would appear that Aaravos does not use Dark Mages as vessels very often, if at all, unless he really has to. A back up if you will. Aaravos likes to plan things ahead after all.

Another thing to think about is the fact that literally everyone was saying that if Aaravos was released from his prison, all hell would break loose but what really happened? A few spirits were released and he killed the Archdragons. Aaravos' main goal is to take down an unjust Order even if that villainizes himself.

In conclusion, it seems like at the end of the day, Zubeia's story was heavily exaggerated and Aaravos' biggest "crime" was giving magic to suffering human beings.

Has Aaravos committed crimes? Yes. But a lot of characters in this show have. And at the end of the day, Aaravos taking out the Cosmic Order for a world of equality is actually a good thing in the long run. Even if some of his methods of going about it are questionable.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[fancyfeathers]

Always Prey But Never A Bird

Based on the Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling series

Previous Chapter <- Chapter Seven -> Next Chapter

Taglist: @jsprien213 @toast-on-dandelioms @plsfckmedxddy @lilyalone @sydneyyyya @yandere-wishes @cxcilla @nemesis-writer

You are riding your bike just across the bridge, pulling into a small and long abandoned dock which was rendered unusable due to an Arkham Asylum breakout incident two months ago. You dismounted your bike, leaving it relating against a busted up fire hydrant, the motorcycle most likely enduring a scrape on the metal. You tugged at your hair, a sharp in take of the cold air of Gotham which made a noise which was reminiscent of a hiss. You felt like you were about to cry but instead you screamed, it was guttural and painful, like you had been stabbed in the gut or like when you fell of that bridge a few weeks prior to only be saved by Dick Grayson, you wanted to actually kill yourself in this moment or at least hit something.

As it could not get any worse you could hear the roar of an engine as it slowed down in the vehicle’s approach to you.

Your father.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” You heard his voice boom from behind you following the noise of the door of the Batmobile opening, his footsteps stomping towards you. He never got this level of anger at you as a child, even when you did start dating your now fiancé without his permission or when you punched a boy in your class in the face, well punch is a light word, you beat him bloody as a ten year old. “You cannot make a scene like that, you are going to put yourself in danger!”

“Wake up, I am in this world now, are you not in danger every night? What about Dick, Tim, Cassandra, what about them?” You snapped back at him, turning around at him, looking at him with that intense pain and anger that burned within them. “You all consider them your own, hell Damian is your biological child just like me and yet you treat me as if I am an incapable, helpless, broken child, a little girl who cannot do anything without her father breathing down her neck.”

“They are trained and have been doing this for a number of years-“

“So have I! I have taught myself everything over the last four years and yet you still see me as a child even now, I have done everything they have and yet you act as if I will break my leg if I even so much as trip when walking.” You scoffed, throwing your arms up in the air, you were exasperated at this point. “I am tired of being treated like a little girl, by all of you! I am exhausted trying to prove myself to you, so much so that I have only now decided to pursue my own happiness, the engagement was not to spite you or anyone else, it was for me and my own happiness for the rest of my life and unlike you I will actually be able to put the mask when the person who loves me asks me to, I won’t have them leave me when they are pregnant because they are terrified of what life their daughter will have with her father being who he is.”

“You let your emotions get the best of you, you put a target on your back because of your behavior back there.” He scolded you, his eyes narrowing at you from beneath the cowl. “You will get yourself killed by running around like this, your brothers and sisters are able to work with their heads clear but it’s clear that you let your anger control you-“

“Is that what you said when Jason came back as Red Hood, wanting to kill the Joker? Or when Dick left the manor and stopped being Robin because he couldn’t stand being in your shadow?” You rolled your eyes, walking back to your motorcycle, swinging your leg over the motorcycle, the engine purring beneath you. “Don’t try to drag me back, I don’t need your protection and I’m not yours anymore. Try anything and you’ll never see me again, trust me a lifetime is much longer than four years.”

______________________

You say on the ledge of a building, not quite willing to go back to the penthouse where Gabriel and his parents awaited for you to return but you were not ready to patrol around the city and potentially encounter your family, not a doubt in your mind that they were out and about with the party over. You sighed, resting your head on your hands and looking out over the city as you sat on top of an apartment building downtown, you would need to get back on a daytime sleep schedule again if you wanted to move on past your vigilantism, to be able to put up your mask for good.

“I thought I told you to return to your home.” You jumped up when you heard a familiar voice speak from behind you. You turned your head around to see a figure under the dim light of Gotham streetlights, Talia Al Ghul. “And yet here you are, disobeying your father at every turn.”

“He may be my biological father, but I will not treat him as such because that is not what he deserves, and I’m not going to back down from a fight just because you asked me to.” You snapped at her, standing up from the ledge, your body tensing as your hand came to rest on your belt, more specifically on an emergency signal that would alert your team if anything remotely went south or maybe even your family depending on if Barbara got into the security system again. “What do you want? I don’t really want to see you right now.”

“It is not me who wants to speak to you this time I am afraid.” She replied, a smile playing on the corner of her lips as she takes out a piece of fabric, a scarf, a very beautiful and most likely a priceless piece, and you certainly knew fabrics and fashions, your mother had a passion for them when you were growing up with just her and she took you traveling the world, your childhood home before you two returned to Gotham was in Singapore, your mother never wanted to come back to Gotham, but that was a story for another day. Talia handed you the scarf and then guided your hand underneath the jacket you wore over your suit. “When you are willing, wear this and someone will retrieve you, do not worry you will not be harmed and you will be returned right where you were taken.”

“I don’t think I understand-“

“My own father would like to see you, nothing more than pleasant conversation, maybe a bit of tea?” Her hand trailed up your cheek, stroking it affectionately as if nothing was wrong at all. “But I would not wait forever, patience is a virtue that does not last forever, my dear.”

“Don’t call me that, and I’m not particularly fond of the idea of meeting your father, especially the idea of being kidnapped to do so.” You sighed, slipping out your hand and glancing at the scarf she gave you. “But it’s a shame really since this is a really beautiful scarf, it reminds me of the sort of thing my mother would wear back when we lived in… never mind that was a long time ago.”

“Well you can keep it, it is a gift after all. You did remind me that I should pay your mother a visit, I have a few gifts for her, such a sweet thing.”

“You know she can’t stand you, right? My father also hates the idea of you being near her especially after how you conceived Damian, I-“ You were about to finish your sentence which was already earning a scowl from her but your phone rang, tucked inside your utility belt pocket. You sighed, keeping your eyes locked on Talia as you dug out your phone from your pocket, taking a look down at the caller ID, your now fiancé. “I… I have to take this, it’s… it’s my fiancé.”

“Go ahead, I will see you soon anyway, my dearest girl.” You blinked and in a moment she was gone, disappeared out of nowhere. You only glanced around for a moment before sighing and answering the phone.

“Hey dove, are you alright? Your father ran off pretty quickly after you left, your siblings and Miss Gordon too, I think they’re worried about you… do they know you’re…”

“Yes, they do know I’m Songbird, even if I wish they didn’t.” You replied to Gabriel, assuming what he was going to ask over the phone and of course you were right. “Look I’ll be back soon, really it was just a camera malfunction in the Joker’s cell-“

“The Joker?! You were… I… this is exactly why I want you to quit, I just don’t want you hurt by crazies like him.” You heard his voice sigh from the other end of the line. “Look, just come back in one piece.”

“Don’t worry about me too much, the Batman tailed me in there and made me sit on the side lines, the man is the most paranoid person I have ever met.” You rolled your eyes at the memory of your father back there and the unsettling comments of the Joker. “Look I’ll be back before morning, don’t wait for me… I need to meet up with some people.”

“Who may that be?”

“…for lack of a better term, my aunt.”

“You have an aunt?”

“Kind of… sort of?”

______________________

You parked your bike outback, behind a high end apartment building that was your destination. You took off your suit, leaving you in your evening gown and you tucked the pin into your small handbag, alongside your lipgloss and phone. You walked up the backstairs, avoiding the lobby and the doorman and so no one would take photos of you and the gossip headline would not be about the youngest Wayne child running about the city after you disappeared for four years, which was scandal enough.

The apartment hallway was cold, the air conditioning blasting as your heels clicked against the tile. Then eventually you reached a door at the end of the hallway and it took you a moment but you eventually mustered up the courage to knock. You could hear the sound of footsteps from behind the door and the sound of the lock and the door knob turning…

“Selina… hi…” The woman before you did not look shocked at the sight of you like you expected, instead she just smiled at you. “I’d like to talk… if you have the time-“

“I’ll get some wine.” She opened the door wide for you, allowing you to step into her apartment which was far warmer than the hallway. “Make yourself at home, Kitten.”

“Thank you, Selina.” You replied to her, walking straight into her living room and sitting down on the couch and as she walked off to the kitchen to grab two wine glasses and a bottle of chardonnay. “I… I got engaged.”

“Oh I know.” You glanced back at her in the kitchen as she poured the wine into each glass and with her free hand she held something up, your engagement ring. “Snagged your ring.”

“Selina!”

“Sorry, sorry, Kitten.” She laughed, taking both wine glasses back out to her living room where you sat. “Besides Dick came by whining about it after that party at that museum, he was practically sobbing, but so have been telling them all since you left that you have moved on with your life a long time ago, probably off traveling the world, but you stayed in Gotham of all places, after all this time.”

“Ya… I guess I just wanted to prove a point to my old man, Dick, Jason, Tim- all of them really, that I can do anything they can.” You held your hand out as Selina set the glasses of wine on the coffee table and she took your hand in hers as she sat down next to you and she slipped the ring back on your finger. “Dick didn’t tell you anything about who I am engaged to, did he?”

“Only that he hated everything about that and felt as if you were dying right before his eyes.” She grabbed the glass of wine that was hers and she took a sip before looking down at your hand and engagement ring again. “But I have to say that is one hell of a stone, how much?”

“It’s an heirloom, it was his great grandmother’s ring… or was it his great great grandmother’s ring? I wish I could remember.” You looked down at the ring and smiled wide, leaning your head back on the couch. “Two million to answer your question and his name is Gabriel Christel.”

“Two million?! Kitten, you have him wrapped around your finger and lapping at every word you say.” She giggled like a little girl, before standing up from the couch and walking back to the kitchen and grabbing her laptop from the counter while one of her many cats that she took in as strays jumped up onto your lap and curled up against you. She sat down right next to you, opening her laptop. “What are you thinking about with the wedding? Colors? Flowers? Guest list?”

“I don’t know any of that yet I’m afraid… but Selina, I need to ask you a favor.” You reached over and closed her laptop, not wanting to talk about any wedding planning at the moment. “This is Songbird business and right now Songbird needs Catwoman.”

“Of course, Kitten.” She set her laptop aside and pushed it onto the coffee table next to hers and your wine glasses. “What is it? And I promise, whatever you ask, whatever you say will never reach the ears of your father.”

“Well, it will eventually….” You sighed, squeezing your brow between your thumb and forefinger. “There are many people of different organizations who may be after me, but if something happens to me, please look after my friends, they would not be able to survive in Gotham without me and I doubt my family would be keen on lending a helping hand since they helped hide me for four years.”

“You really didn’t have to ask me that, lovely.” She smiled at you, taking your hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze as her sharpened nails ever so slightly pressed against the skin of your knuckles, not hard enough to break skin at all, no she was always gentle with you. “I will always look after you, and that includes your friends too.”

“Thank you, Selina.”

“Now, that aside, I do want to talk about wedding dresses with you.” She reached out and grabbed her computer, quickly dropping the topic as quickly as you brought it up. She opened her computer, turning it on and her sharp nails tapped against the keyboard as she typed in her password. “What is your budget?”

“…there is none.”

“Now you’re talking my kind of language, Kitten.”

______________________

Selina leaned back on her couch, your head resting on her lap, you were long fast asleep. Selina had gotten a makeup wipe and she took off your makeup along with practically doing a whole skincare routine on you, after all she cannot have the future bride to be breaking out. She slipped off your heels and set them next to your handbag on the coffee table, besides designer brands like that hardly get worn anyway.

“I knew you were going to show up, Brucie.” Selina commented, glancing over her shoulder at the figure that lingered in the shadows of her apartment, near her window that she accidentally left open to air out the food she accidentally burned not too long before you came. She held her finger up to her lips in a shushing motion as he stepped closer, just close enough to love over the couch and see you sleeping on her lap. “She practically passed out about an hour ago, the poor kitten is just so tired, probably all the family stress you put her through.”

“Hmm… she put herself in danger today.” Your father spoke, walking around the couch so Selina would not have to roll her neck about just to see him, his footsteps as quiet as a mouse as to not wake you, but then his eyes fell upon the empty glasses of wine. He picked up one of the glasses, your empty glass, he ran his finger along the rim, collecting the liquid that was left behind before shooting a glare at Selina. “You drugged her.”

“She was exhausted, I could hear how tired she sounded, again probably from the stress.” Selina sighed, scratching at your scalp, messaging your head as she ran her fingers and nails through your hair. “If you’ve come to take her back to the manor I won’t allow you to.”

“Not… not yet.” Selina watched as the Batman kneeled down on the ground next to you, brushing the hair out of your face. He looked down at your hand and the engagement ring upon your finger, he sighed and slid it off, but of course he had to return it under Selina’s watchful eye. He sighed and pried one of the smaller diamonds off of the ring with a batarang and before Selina could raise an objection he took something out of a small pouch on his utility belt, a fake diamond. “It’s a tracker, just to make sure she is okay.”

“And so you can spy on her at any hour of the day.” Selina snapped back at Bruce, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “You really are the most paranoid person I have ever met.”

“I am keeping my daughter safe.” She watched as Bruce slipped the engagement ring back onto your finger. “She is young and reckless.”

“Hm… well, may I have that loose diamond, that alone is worth a small fortune.”

“Selina.”

“Fine.”

[witchygagirlwrites]

Consider Me Gone-Part 2

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/Gerstead x Reader

A trauma rolls into med that nearly brings you to your limit. You need Jay and Mouse yet for the first time when you reach your hand out there's not even one there to grasp it.

Warnings: SCENE OF AN O.D.

“Please no” Cassandra begged, falling into your arms. You requested to come along on this notification and now you were regretting it but knew you had to face it “I’m so sorry Cassie” you whispered and felt her knees go out from under her. The two men with you moved to support her but you glared at them as you sank to the floor with her, wrapping your arms protectively around the other woman “He wasn’t alone. I promise you, I was there. I held his hand. I made sure he wasn’t hurting in those last moments. That’s all I could do” 

You shot up out of the bed, a fine sheet of sweat covering your body. Mouse and Jay both were on high alert, shooting up on either side of you. “Sweetheart, what is it?” Mouse asked and you shook your head “Nothing, doesn’t matter” the sting of their words the previous night was still a little too fresh to admit that while finding Mark plagued their memories, his wife’s reaction and pain plagued yours. Jay’s face fell as if he knew just exactly why you’d said nothing “Baby, talk to us”

You shook your head “I said I’m fine” you glanced at the time and saw it was only about an hour before your alarm would’ve gone off anyways. “I’m gonna grab a shower and start coffee” “I’ll start coffee” Jay offered so you nodded and slid out of the bed at the foot of it so you didn’t have to go over either one of them. 

Jay climbed out of bed after you and walked past you while you were picking through your dresser for a pair of scrubs. He placed one hand on your lower back and it took everything in you to not tense under his touch. “I love you” he spoke before kissing the side of your head. “I love you Jay” you whispered, keeping your eyes on the contents of the drawer in front of you.

You didn’t have to look to know he shot Mouse a look before leaving the room. Divide and conquer was always their route when it came to thinking one of them had done something to hurt your feelings in some way and since Jay was the one who’d actually voiced the thought, apparently Mouse was the one tasked with damage control.

You didn’t hear the bed move before you felt Mouse at your back. “Can I please put my arms around you?” he asked and you nodded. He slipped his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest “I’m sorry for what was said, Jay is too. It came out wrong” you nodded simply because you didn’t trust your voice to not waver at the moment.

He stood there for a moment just holding you and you wanted so bad just to forget the hurt. How humiliating it felt when they both had acted as if your time spent overseas was nothing because you weren’t an active combatant. You had the same base training as them, you weren’t exactly Desmond Doss. You believed in kill or be killed and had done whatever it took to keep your unit safe. On top of that to know that they couldn’t even turn to a man that served, it was another woman. Yeah she’d been in your unit but how could they not realize how that would make you feel?

“Greg, I’ve got to get a shower” you whispered and he pressed a kiss to your shoulder where the tank you’d worn to bed left it bare “Ok. You want some breakfast?” you shook your head “I’ll just get some coffee” he left his arms drop and you had to remind yourself to not run from the room. What the hell were you doing to yourself? You had to get in a better mindset before work.

When you got out of the shower and were dressed you headed to the kitchen and could hear the two of them talking. “You know that was a nightmare right?” “Well damn Greg I never would’ve guessed” “Since when does she not tell us about them?”

You stepped around the corner and cleared your throat. Both of their heads whipped around at the sound and they looked like kids with their hands caught in the cookie jar “Is the coffee ready?” Mouse held up your mug and you knew it was made to your taste. You walked over and took it from his hand with a small smile “Thank you”

You leaned back against the counter and took a sip before asking “How’s the case going anyways?” They exchanged a look before Jay said “Voight think’s he has a lead. Him and Al were gonna go talk to a few people they knew this morning” “Good” you replied and left it at that. Normally mornings in your house were spent talking over coffee, planning for the week ahead. Today felt like there was a space between you and them that was strangling you with every breath you took.

______________

You dumped the rest of your coffee “I’m gonna get going” “Can we talk after work?” Jay asked and you cut your eyes at him “Sure you want to talk to me?” his shoulders sagged slightly “Princess there’s no one else on earth we’d rather talk to” you laughed humorlessly “Really?”

He ran a hand down his face “Baby, it was a freaking beer!” “A beer with another woman Jay!” you argued and he waved a hand “A woman who was in our freaking unit! Who was in the field with us! Who saw the same shit we did!” you shook your head “I was there Jay! I saw the same shit! Who the hell do you think they drug Mark back to? Who do you think had to try their fucking hardest to save him only to have to tell his wife that they couldn’t?”

Mouse stepped between you and Jay “Take a breath, both of you” you glared at him “You aren’t fucking innocent either Greg. You did the same thing! Jay is just verbal about his bullshit! Why don’t you tell me how fucking useless I am too? About how my trauma isn’t valid because I wasn’t in the field? How I WASN’T THERE TOO?”

They both flinched when you screamed but you didn’t care, hot tears were spilling down your face by that point “Ever stop to think that when Erin called to give me that heads up that it took me right back to that day too?” you looked between them and they both dropped their gaze. You nodded slowly “Of course not. You two found him, yeah and that was fucking horrific. I care enough about you two to never take away from anything you’ve endured but I am the one that he was laid on a stretcher in front of and tasked with trying to save! I am the one who had to lie and tell him he was going to be ok! I am the one who watched life leave his eyes and I am the one who held his wife when she was told her husband, the father of her twins, was not coming home. I don’t give a fuck what Athena saw. You two were drowning, ok. You come to me! ME! No one else! We’re supposed to have each other’s backs! We’ve always had each other’s backs but because she’s in town all of a sudden I’m not good enough?”

“We never once said that!” Mouse argued but a phone chiming interrupted all of you. You glanced towards the counter to see Jay’s phone lit up. You knew both of their passwords like they knew yours so you walked over to pick it up and saw it had Athena’s name on it. You didn’t even look at the text. You picked it up and threw it at Jay’s chest. 

“You two don’t even care that I’m here in front of you do you? Just because she was in the field. Did she put you two back together? Did she let herself jump so far down into that darkness just to help you two dig yourselves back up? I did! I needed you two to talk to me last night because then that meant you trusted me with the hell in your head. You didn’t. You talked to her. You chose her. Sometimes what you don’t say comes through so much clearer than what you do” 

You spun on your heel to walk out the room but both of them caught you, trying to put their arms around you. You shoved them off “No! Fuck you! You don’t get to touch me!” They both put their hands up defensively. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking until you raised them to point one at each of them “I love both of you with my entire fucking heart but you need to decide what it is you want”

You stormed out of the room, stopping just long enough to grab your keys and phone before slamming the door behind yourself.

You sat in your car with your head leaned back against the seat, trying your best to stop the damn tears. Your phone hadn’t stopped ringing since you left home. Jay and Mouse were taking turns calling and texting. When they got to work they would probably resort to either using landlines or stealing the unit’s phones.

You took a deep breath and clicked on the group text thread. M:Sweetheart please answer your phone   J:Baby just talk to us  M:You know we would never want anyone but you  J:No one would ever compare to you   M:We love you more than anything   J:Please just answer your phone

You texted back I have to go into the hospital now. I can’t have my head on this when people are hurt or sick in front of me. You both know what you mean to me. I don’t know what that text said and I don’t want to know. I do need to know where I stand by the time my shift ends

With that you locked your phone and slid it into your pocket, checked to see just how horrible you looked then climbed out of your car. 

Two car wrecks, a delivery done in the ed, a GSW and three people with the flu covered your first five hours of your shift. You still weren’t in the best mind set but you were doing what you did best, pushing it to the side to help the people in front of you. That was how you maintained your balance, how you didn’t lose yourself. That was something you’d found long ago.

You were in the breakroom when Will came in and you dropped your gaze, pulling out your phone and hoping he hadn’t noticed you weren’t quite aces. “There’s my favorite sister in law” you cut your eyes up with a small smile “Hey Will” he sat down across from you “Are you ok?”

You nodded slowly “Yup, can not think of a single reason why I wouldn’t be” he stared at you for a moment before raising an eyebrow “I’m not the brother you’re in a relationship with but I have known you for quite a while. I love you, you’re like a sister to me.If something is wrong, even if it's something my brother or Mouse did you can talk to me” You nodded “I know. I promise, I’m ok Will. I had a bad night, dreams of delivering bad news kept haunting me” 

“Why did you do that? It wasn’t your job” he asked and you shrugged “I had letters, messages or just to let them know I held the person they loved so they wouldn’t be alone. I would want to know Jay or Mouse wasn’t alone” he smiled “You’re an extraordinary woman. Don’t know how the hell my brother and Mouse of all people got you”

You gave him a small smile “They looked cute in their ACUs” he shook his head with a laugh “There she is” then tapped on the table “I’ll be around if you need me. Just holler and I’ll come running sis” “Thanks Will”

__________________

You stepped out of the break room and heard Ethan call your name “We got an OD in trauma one Y/N! I need you”  you feel in step with him, running around the main desk and into the trauma room. You heard April calling out stats and saw Will administering another round of Narcan but when you glanced at the body on the bed, it felt like their voices were underwater. You could hear them but they were muffled. Your hands felt like they were tingling and your head felt like it may very well slip off your body. That jacket, that black jacket.

You hadn’t been back in Chicago but maybe a month. You just managed to rent a new place. It was a little one bedroom but it was in an ok neighboor and the rent didn’t kill you. You’d just gotten off back to back shifts and was curled up under three blankets from the harsh winter night. The sound of your phone blaring woke you up.You scrambled for it and squinted against the harsh glare before bringing it to your ear “Halstead I swear to christ..”

Before you could finish the threat he cut you off “I had a missed call from Mouse about an hour ago. He left a voicemail, he was slurring Y/N and now he isn’t answering” you were out of the bed before he finished talking “Come pick me up”

You followed Jay to the apartment he said was Mouse’s. He hadn’t let you out of his sight and honestly in this neighborhood? You were grateful. “How the hell are we gonna get in?” you asked and he cut his eyes up at a window. You shrugged and slung your med bag across your chest before pulling his knife out of his pocket “Give me a boost?”

He put his hands around your hips and hoisted you up. It didn’t take you long to pop the flimsy lock on the window and shimmy inside. “Y/N!” he called and you looked back out. He handed you a flashlight and his gun. “What do I need that for?” he shrugged “We don’t know what you’re going into. If it’s bad yell and I’ll kick the door in”

You turned the light on and readied the gun before stepping away from the window. Your heart shattered the moment you saw the interior of the apartment. There was no furniture,at all. A single mattress was on the floor and it felt colder inside than it did outside.

You cleared room by room and was starting to think maybe Greg had just drunk dialed Jay when you pushed open the bathroom door. “JAY!” you screamed. 

Mouse lay in the middle of the bathroom floor, a couple pill bottles lay in the sink and it didn’t look like he was breathing. You slid to your knees,throwing your med bag off onto the floor.  You rolled him over onto his side, the black jacket he wore was icy to the touch, when you noticed how grey his lips looked tears sprung to your eyes “No no no” you heard the front door bounce off the wall from the force of Jay kicking it in.

You reached for Mouse’s pulse and felt a weak, thready one. “CALL AN AMBULANCE JAY! HE’S OVERDOSED!” you screamed. You dug into your bag, shaking fingers wrapping around the narcan “Greg please don’t fucking do this to me” you whispered before bringing the medicine up to his nose and administering it. You turned him for rescue breaths, praying you hadn’t been too late. Jay ran into the room, still on the phone with the dispatcher “My-my friend is a trained medic”

You didn’t try to listen, your goal was getting to see those sky blue eyes you loved looking up at you again. “Please Greg” you whispered, administering the second dose after the time passed and was rewarded by a harsh gasp of air being forced into his lungs. “Tell them he’s breathing” you sobbed, turning him on his side again in case he puked. His eyes cracked open “Y/N?” you nodded, tears flowing down your face “Hey” “Don’t cry baby” he whispered weakly and you shook your head “Then stay awake till the ambulance gets here ok?”

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hadn’t realized you froze or that everyone in the room had realized it. Ethan, Will and April had gotten the patient stabilized but were now staring at you like they were worried you may be next “I’m sorry” you whispered and ran out of the room. 

Ethan found you in the break room, sitting on the floor with your head between your knees shaking. He crouched in front of you, close but not touching “Hey, can I touch you or no?” you shook your head and he smiled slightly “Ok. Can I get April or Maggie?” you nodded and he smiled “Stay here soldier. I’m gonna get you help. I won’t leave your side for long, I promise”

He came back a few moments later with April in tow. She climbed down next to you and slowly put her arm around you “Match my breathing honey”. You listened to her breaths and were able to slow yours after a few minutes while she kept two fingers on your pulse to check it. 

Once you were able to actually focus your eyes on them Ethan sat cross legged in front of you “Talk to me” you swallowed hard “That jacket the kid had” he nodded and you met his eyes “Greg had one just like it the night he overdosed and I thought we lost him” He shared a look with April and she nodded “I’m gonna go back to the floor sweetie. If you need me just send Ethan” you nodded “Thank you”

Once she left he looked back at you “When did it happen?” you swallowed hard “When we got back we all kind of went our own ways for a while. Jay, he sought comfort in bodies. Any bed he could warm he did. I visited families of the men I lost, delivering messages then I went to stay with my sister for a while, I barely slept or ate during that time. If it wasn’t eighty proof I didn’t want it and Greg well he found his own way to numb the pain” 

“How’d you get out of it?” he asked and you smiled slightly “Greg pulled Jay out of a hole. He was in bad shape. He’d started drinking bad, doing stuff that well he shouldn’t have been involved with. Greg got him home to Chicago. Those two being back here was like a magnet to pull my ass back” “What happened when Greg overdosed?” he asked so you recounted that night “He was so thin Ethan. I mean Greg has always had a slimmer frame but he’s always been lean muscle. We’re talking about a man that could toss me over his shoulder and laugh about it. That night, I could move him by myself with no issue. His lips were grey…it took two rounds of Narcan”

“I didn’t know” he offered and you nodded “I don’t think it would’ve hit that bad had intelligence not had just caught a case that trudged up memories of how we lost a man too. I was the medic that couldn’t save him..they don’t get that pain” he smiled slightly and nudged your knee “Lucky for you someone you know does. Any time anything like that hits you, call me. April won’t care. She loves you and wouldn’t want you to have to face it alone”

“You don’t know how much that means” you whispered and he nodded. “Feel like facing the outside world or wanna sit in here a while longer?” you shook your head “We’ve faced worse right?” he smiled “There’s that medic who sends em running” 

__________________

The moment you and Ethan stepped out of the break room you spotted Will. “Are you ok?” he asked and you nodded “Yeah, a little embarrassed” Ethan cut his eyes at you “That? We’re not doing that, ok?” you nodded “Ok” he smiled “Get to work medic” you grinned “Yes sir”

Will looked at you “Do I need to call Jay?” you shook your head “I’m ok” he gave you a look so you sighed “I’ll text them!” that seemed to appease him enough. “If you need me holler, ok?” “Ok”

How do you text your boyfriends that you screamed at that morning that you had a flashback and panic attack at work? Before Will says anything, I’m fine. Just a case threw me off. No big deal

M: What do you mean you’re fine, no big deal???  J: Do we need to come to you??  M: Are you ok??  

I’m fine, just had a bad time with a case that came in

M: What case? You stared at the text because no matter how mad you were you didn’t want to put guilt on him. He’d gone through hell. He’d fought to get and stay sober. You didn’t want to throw it in his face. Doesn’t matter and I don’t mean that like this morning. I’m ok now

M:If you need us, call. I love you  J: Even if I can’t come, Mouse will. I love you

Love you both, always

You slid your phone back into your pocket and jumped back into work.

By the time you got off you were dead on your feet but you considered stopping by the precinct to see everyone before going home. You didn’t want to text Jay or Mouse so you texted Erin Hey babe, want some coffee? It didn’t take long for her to text back Omg yes! I’ll steal you from dumb and dumber I will love you so much you laughed and sent back Text me orders

___________

You pulled into the front lot with the two carriers of coffee. You’d texted Erin to send help down and smiled when you saw Al coming out the front door “Oh she sent my favorite detective” he smiled “Hey kid” you passed him one carrier then grabbed the other and the extra coffee that was Trudy’s. 

“How was work?” he asked and when you grimaced he laughed “That good huh?” you shrugged “Put it this way? There’s days I kinda miss the simplicity of being a trauma medic compared to an ed nurse”

You followed him in and stopped at the front desk to offer Trudy her cup. She smiled “I have no clue how Mouse and Detective chuckles got a woman like you” you winked at her “Neither do they” 

You followed Al up the stairs after he scanned his palm. You could hear everyone’s voice drifting downstairs and smiled when you heard Erin and Kim laughing. You’d gotten close with the unit over time. They were your friends, hell your family. 

You made it to the bullpen and started passing out cups. Voight smiled “You’re an angel sweetheart” you shook your head “No one likes a liar now Hank” and everyone cracked up. You were about to ask where Jay and Mouse were when you heard their voices coming from the back hallway. You turned towards the door with a smile that quickly fell when you realized they weren’t alone. Athena was with them. “What the fuck” you and Erin both spoke in tandem.

All three heads turned towards your voice and Athena had the nerve to smile “Fireball” you grabbed the cups of coffee and threw them at Jay and Mouse “I’m done” you didn’t try to stop yourself from running that time. You ran down the stairs, hearing Erin’s raised voice along with Jay and Mouse’s followed by Voight yelling for everyone to shut up.

When you got to the lobby you slowed to a fast walk and nodded to Trudy but the moment you hit the door you ran for your car, collapsing into the driver’s seat.

____________________

You moved through the house with your duffle bag shoving everything you came across that belonged to you in it. Thank god the United States made sure to supply you with a bag big enough to pack your life in.

You snatched your old dogtags off the corner of the mirror where they hung with Mouse and Jay’s. They didn’t need them. You would burn your photos if you had enough time. Your goal was to get gone before they could get home. They knew how you felt, they knew your insecurities. You’d laid everything on the line for them and they hadn’t cared. She’d smiled in your face! SMILED.

You’d kill her if you ever got within arm’s reach again. She didn’t know them like you did. She didn’t know a damn thing about them compared to you. Every demon, every dark corner YOU faced. More tears broke free but that didn’t stop you. If you weren’t worth fighting for in their opinion why would you fight for them? 

You did a final look around then took your key off and laid it on the counter. You didn’t need it anymore. You locked the door behind yourself and threw your duffle into your trunk. Maggie would let you sleep on her couch until you could figure things out. Your life just fell down around you, the men you love just turned their backs on you. You’d never felt more alone but knew she wouldn’t turn you away. You did have some people that truly did love you even if Jay and Mouse weren’t on that list after all.

@desimarie12

@alterna123

@allisonargent144

[y-rhywbeth2]

Apparently mental health care in Faerûn, when it isn't horrifically ableist (the asylums are fucking fantastic/s), mostly consists of priests using enchantment spells to help out with medication. Calm emotions, maybe feeblemind in dire emergencies, etc. I'm going to have to dig that lore out at some point and finish the medicine lore draft *laughs in unfinished WIPs*

And that could work for most of the characters with mental health issues* but 5e's version of calm emotions comes with this annoying caveat that it specifically targets humanoids, as do most enchantment spells iirc, which means that there's no way to help Astarion that way if he wanted it. Can't take herbal remedies/medication; no metabolism. Can't be affected with benevolent spells; not humanoid (undead). Also, by older editions, the undead are fully immune to all mind affecting spells anyway (no brain chemistry to manipulate!)

Of course I'm also not sure how exactly trauma is going to effect him in some ways. A lot of trauma and stress is physical, and he completely lacks biology. Like a lot of the basics will be there, I assume, but... a little off in expression?

Strictly speaking vampires, in canon, express trauma and stress through two specific avenues: bloody raging violence, and asserting dominance and ruthless control (usually related to paranoia and hypervigilance). Temper issues, lashing out and hypervigilance are real trauma responses, but vampires being creatures of the gothic horror tradition that of course gets multiplied. To levels like blacking out and slaughtering everyone within reach in your disassociated grief/rage until you come back to yourself soaked through in blood and surrounded by corpses with no memory of the act (as per Vampire of the Mists). (Also crushing depression where they just go into centuries long naps).

That is actually kinda in-game, or was in EA anyway, since if you push his triggers you get this line:

'You know what separates us from animals? Choice. I choose to travel with you. A dog would do it on instinct. To fulfil a need. Disrespect me again and I won't choose to kill you… I'll do it on instinct. To fulfil my need to hear you scream.'

(I love this line.) Haven't heard it spoken for a long time, but I'm pretty sure his voice audibly starts to slip into something more guttural/inhuman at some point.

The bad days are going to get messy.

On the other hand I'm sure some priesthood somewhere has to have come up with a spell that soothes the undead at times like this (seing as they are almost universally linked to/consumed by negative emotion and trauma). I'll have to look harder, I guess.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiiii can I pretty please request Lucifer, Vox, and Vaggie x fallen angel reader? Thanks!

Lucifer Vox and Vaggie x fallen angel!reader

Locking the fuck in I'm down twenty pounds lets fucking GOOOO

Notes: reader is fem for vaggie, gn for vox and lucifer, short post, though i guess this is written more platonic leaning for lucifer and vaggie- opening relationship dynamic stuff instead of something old and established

CWs: mentions of canon typical violence

LUCIFER

he can... relate to you- odds are you were unfairly cast out for not conforming to heavens ideals, and he gets that. so much. it may not instantly make you friends but its definitely going to open a few conversations for the two of you to have- centuries of hurt and frustration can come out in a passionate garble once you get him comfortable enough

though outside of that he doesnt actually talk about his past as an angel all that much- one can only feel so much until it burns them out and hes got other things to worry about

some part of him feels sympathy for you but another part of him is still distrustful- though... he still does keep an open mind when interacting with you, hes not going to let you build yourself back up from the ground if you dont give him a reason to ditch you

VOX

will try to find a way to profit off of it- or at least he would if he didnt take another few seconds to realize just how much of a bad idea that is- not just for you, but how would it reflect back on him and the other two if theyre harboring an angel- fallen or not?

hes... actually not all that interested in hearing what heaven is like, so at least you dont have to worry about him prying all that much, especially if the circumstances of your fall are... sensitive... for once him being self centered pays off to save you some level of pain, at least in this instance

he does however ask what all you can do, even in your current state. youre mighty powerful, yeah? so youve definitely got some ability to do some real damage? hes definitely going to keep that in mind going forward

you land a job easily under him so you at least have some level of income to adjust to your new home so thats fun at least...!

VAGGIE

very similar to lucifer in the sense that shes not going to instantly trust you as soon as you fall- you were just in heaven and one indiscretion in their eyes isnt enough to change her mind on you- even worse if youre an exterminator like she was. you know how to fight, and you know how to kill someone. and the odds are you still have your weapon. she is NOT going to be taking any chances with you- very much icing you out for the longest time

its going to take something for her to let those walls down around you- earn her trust and to make her feel... not on edge around you. even after that getting her to open up past that- its like pulling teeth. WILL make a cover story on why you may or may not know her so no one else puts the pieces together (pre reveal)- and she advises you hide your angel status... fallen or not...

there is definitely some anger held for heaven but the way she talks about it she treats it more as something to not be trifled with- a threat that can very well ruin everything the hotel is aiming for. will be keeping her eyes on you if youre ever allowed anywhere near the hotel

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Genya Shinazugawa!reader as a member of the Straw Hats with Sanemi being a member of the Whitebeards and not happy that his brother became a pirate since he is scared of losing him

-It was a massive party that had been planned out by Whitebeard, wanting to meet Ace’s little brother Luffy, hearing how the little rascal and his crew had been making big news all over the Grand Line.

-Luffy took little convincing once Ace said there was going to be a lot of food, and the two crews agreed to meet on a summer island to party together.

-What they weren’t expecting was that there was another set of siblings on the two crews, you, who was on Luffy’s crew, as he met you shortly after Zoro and Nami, and Sanemi, your older brother who had made a name for himself on Whitebeard’s crew.

-Unlike Ace and Luffy who had a good relationship, you and Sanemi had little to no relationship, after he left you, abandoning you after your whole family was killed by cruel marines, only to be killed by Sanemi, leaving both of you heavily scarred, both inside and out.

-He told you years ago that he was going to become a pirate, to become strong and prevent any more marines from doing anything like this, and when you expressed your interest in doing the same, he beat you up before leaving you, telling you that someone so weak would never be a pirate.

-He only said that and did that to you to make you afraid, to keep you safe, with the hopes you would get a normal job and live a normal life like how you deserved, but his words only drove you to work harder to become a pirate.

-Now you’re one of two marksmen on Luffy’s crew alongside Usopp, but while he used slingshots, you used actual guns, ranging in all styles and sizes.

-Despite your rather gruff personality whenever you met anyone new, your true personality was quick to show- a tsundere with a heart of gold- you were such a sweet and kind person- it was honestly adorable how gruff you tried to portray yourself as.

-You were also very respectful to everyone in the crew, as they were the ones who made you into the feared pirate you were today. Now if you could just catch up to your brother’s bounty, even surpassing it, you would be even more content, as that would prove to your brother that you were a great pirate!

-The initial meeting as Luffy leapt off the ship and ran to Ace, tackling him down made smiles go all around, both crews happy to see the reunion.

-As the rest of you got off and headed towards the large group, one person stepped forward and everyone seemed to freeze as Sanemi looked like a demon was surrounding him, looking furious.

-You glared back, a hand coming to your hip as you looked angry as well as he stomped over, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! You’re not supposed to be a pirate!”

-You glared back, now being able to fight back as you were bigger now, “You don’t have the right to lecture me when you abandoned me!”

-Everyone looked between the two of you, realizing that you were siblings as you both looked similar as you both shouted back and forth at each other. Sanemi threw a punch at your disrespect, as you should listen to him since he’s older, but he only grew more enraged when you dodged his blow and threw one of your own, sending him staggering back after you nailed him across the face hard.

-The two of you were quickly in a brawl, leading many trying to pull the two of you apart, even Whitebeard and Luffy who were both yelling at you to knock it off.

-Sanemi punched you hard, sending you flying back, “You idiot! You weren’t supposed to be a pirate! You were supposed to live a normal life!!”

-You quickly rolled to your feet, wiping your bloody nose with the back of your hand, “How was I supposed to do that when our family was killed, and you walked out on me?! Who was I supposed to look up to in order live a normal life?!”

-Eyes went to Sanemi, hearing how he left you after your family had been killed and his eyes went white as he charged with a furious yell, and you did the same.

-At the very last second, someone appeared beside the two of you and punched you both hard, sending you flying. Nami breathed in deeply, her fists smoking as she stopped the fight easily.

-You both were quickly on your knees in front of her as she chewed you both out, a lump on each of your heads, but you were smart- knowing not to talk back to Nami, but Sanemi didn’t know this listen and by the time she stomped off, Sanemi was covered in lumps and he was face down in the dirt, unable to move.

-The two of you, as punishment, had to drink and eat together, to reconcile, but there was nothing like that, only eating and drinking while glaring at each other.

-It was Sanemi who instigated conversation with you, “You’ve gotten tall.” You glanced over, eating another piece of meat, “Yeah- Sanji keeps us all fed well.” It was awkward for anyone listening to the conversation, seeing how the two of you were trying.

-By the time the party ended with everyone passed out, leaving only you and Sanemi, or so you thought, he finally spoke, “You’ve gotten stronger- that punch was impressive. Guess I was wrong about you being weak.” You knew that for Sanemi, that was as close as he was going to get to apologizing to you.

-You gave him a grin, lifting your mug, “I was motivated to prove you wrong- now all I have to do is surpass you!” he grinned in return, welcoming the challenge, “I’d like to see you try!”

-While not completely forgiving him, you were at least willing to be a little nicer to him, something Luffy and Whitebeard, who were also awake, shared a grin over, happy to see you two getting along.

[l1v1ngd3dgrrl]

Bestie pls hear me out 😩😩 your work on ao3 is mind blowing AMAZING! If you are taking requests can you write like a Daisuke/reader fic where they’ve been trying to sleep together (secret relationship type deal) but they’ve been getting cockblocked by every member of the crew until they finally get time of their own with pent up feelings

AN: I audibly gasped when i read this request, anon your miiiiiind. Fuck yeah let's do it! Also thank you for enjoying my work aaaaaaaaa, it makes me so giddy when i get comments like that! thank you for your patience <3

Alone Together [Daisuke x Reader]

word count: 2,503

Cw(s):getting cockblocked/sexual tension, Daisuke gets a little rough here and doesn't pull out, usage of babe/my girl, soft dom Daisuke(?), Shitty attempt at dirty talk again because ya ghoul cannot write it well at all. Leg locking?

Continuing my contributions to the Freaksuke agenda <- that is a joke, please don't get mad at me. I may have gotten a lil too carried away with this one (sweats)

MDNI banner: Cafekitsune.

Having a secret relationship wasn't something you ever imagined yourself doing. Especially with one of your co-workers. You've worked at Pony Express for about 3 years now, and never really found yourself drooling over anyone in your crew. (Okay there was that ONE time you thought Curly was really hot but that's over and done with.) It was unprofessional and would make things awkward.

That sentiment flew out of the window when you met the newest member joining you for this Haul, Daisuke was the new 22 year old intern working with Swansea. Unsurprisingly Swansea made it very clear from day one that he wasn't thrilled with it, which did affect him negatively causing him to be pretty shy when talking with the rest of the crew. Over time he warmed up to everyone, eagerness similar to a a cartoon protagonist at times but in the most endearing way.

Now this little (at the time) one-sided crush didn't happen all at once, It was about a month into your haul when you noticed that you'd get butterflies in your stomach whenever you heard him talk, laugh or do literally anything. He could breathe and you would just stare at him like he hung the moon. It was an interesting display on your part, hopefully he didn't catch you staring and think you were weird.

By the third month he let it slip that he thought you were attractive. The exact way he confessed it was a little hard to remember but it was in the dorkiest way possible-lots of fumbling of words and finger guns. Ever since then you two begun dating in secret.

The hardest part about all of this was trying to get more intimate. There were only a certain amount of places you two could do it with the lowest risk of getting caught. No place was truly 100% risk free, which became increasingly obvious when you kept getting cockblocked by everyone.

First it was Anya, as sweet as she is you slightly resent her for scaring the living hell out of you when she needed Daisuke for his psyche eval. She didn't see anything, and it's not like you two were actually fucking but you were pretty close to doing so. The sudden knocking on the door killed the mood and startled both of you.

"Another time, I promise." Is what he whispered before placing a kiss on your lips.

The second incident was when you paid a visit to Daisuke in the utility room, completely innocent at first. You had to run a binder to him. When Swansea grunted out that he was going on break and to not linger too long and distract him that's when the tension in the air boiled over. Alas, much like last time you two didn't get very far and had to scramble to get yourselves decent before Swansea could barge in and lecture the both of you.

"Next time we won't get interrupted?" he awkwardly said, not fully convinced in his own words.

The third time the two of you were giggling and placing heated kisses on each others skin, on your way to your sleeping quarters. Clothes were discarded on the floor and hands were wandering over bare skin, maybe this time was finally the time you didn't get interrupted.

The sound of a very grouchy Jimmy banging on your door for you to "Shut the fuck up and go to sleep." caused you to audibly groan in frustration. "Fine-Fine!, Just go away!"

Daisuke looked as if he was about to cry.

And of course the breaking point for the both of you was when your captain of all people almost caught you. Frustration was starting to eat both of you whole.

It was one night when everyone had gone to bed earlier than usual did Daisuke pull you into his sleeping quarters, kissing your skin feverishly and panting like a dog. "I can't hold off much longer please," he whined. "I don't even care if we get caught or whatever." You agreed wholeheartedly.

It's been nearly a whole month since the two of you had sex. yikes. You were probably more worked up than he is.

"We should at least move the desk in front of the door-as a precaution y'know?" you murmured. Daisuke nodded eagerly and rushed over to move the piece of furniture in front of the door.

It wasn't the heaviest thing in the world, but it often took you a bit to move it by yourself. Daisuke on the other hand was moving it with ease as if it weighed nothing. Hot.

After the desk was moved he turned to you and began pulling his shirt over his head, careful to avoid snagging it on his earrings.

This was your cue to do the same, you gripped the hem of your shirt and began to peel it over your head. In the split second that your vision was blocked by the fabric Daisuke had taken it upon himself to drop to his knees and start placing kisses down your now exposed abdomen. You giggled, the feeling of the kisses tickled and felt odd.

Once your shirt was fully off he stood back up and kissed you again, walking you towards your bed. Your knees hit the side of the mattress and both of you dropped backwards. He moved his knees on either side of your hips, as he sat back on his haunches eyeing you over wordlessly. "You're so hot." he blurted out. You giggled and pulled him in for another kiss. "I know."

Both of you didn't know where to start, there was an awkward pause as you both sat in silence thinking about what you wanted the most. You took the lead and reached over to his pants, palm instantly going over and rubbing him through his jeans. His hips jerk forward briefly and he groans, eyes rolling back.

It's dark, but you can feel the pre starting to seep into the fabric beneath your palm. Warm and slightly sticky. You bite your lip and wrap your hand around the bulge and proceed to jerk him the best you can through the denim. His breathing is starting to get heavier, huffing and groaning as he clutches the blanket underneath the both of you.

"I want more-fuck I need more." he says, heavy with want. You give him a firm squeeze before bringing your hand up to unbutton his jeans. With Shakey hands he helps you, happy to finally ease this tension. His pants hit the floor with a quiet plop and he's left in his boxers, the front of them wet with his arousal. "Lay back on the bed." You command gently, he obliges wordlessly.

This time you're the one on top, your knees spread on either side of his legs and kissing down his abdomen like he had done to you minutes prior, stopping once you reach his boxers. His breath hitches and you tug the fabric down. His erection springs free and he winces slightly at the temperature change.

You take him into your palm, thumb spreading the pre down his shaft as lubrication and pump him a few times. On the bed Daisuke grips the blanket and lets his jaw fall slack. You lean foreword and take him into your mouth, slowly bobbing your head.

He keens and sits up ever so slightly, propping himself on his elbows. He likes the way your cheeks hollow around him, the feeling of your tongue as it spirals around the tip and then down this length. Before things could go too far he stops you, and you let out a disapproving whine.

"You deserve some action too." he says, his thumb coming up to wipe away some saliva on your lip. "I mean yeah, But I was having fun." He rolls his eyes and pulls you in for a kiss.

"Let me take care of you for a bit."

"ugh fine." you playfully groan. You stand up and drop your bottoms, much to Daisuke's surprise you weren't wearing underwear. "Nice." he grins and you lightly smack him on the shoulder.

He has you lay down beside him, legs spread and his hand trailing up your thighs. His fingers trace up your slit and he grins, "Wow you're like really wet right now."

"Can you blame me?" you ask, drawing in a shaky breath as rubs small circles on your clit.

"I can't," he presses wet kisses to your neck. "And I won't." His fingers begin to work inside you now, curling as he moves. You let out a low moan and spread your legs just a bit further.

He continues, relishing in the soft gasps and moans he draws out of you. Once he hits that one specific spot that makes you cry out he smirks and focuses on it, fingers pumping in and out of you faster. You're moans get a little too loud and he gently covers your mouth with his palm.

"I love hearing you, but I think I would actually die if we get interrupted again." He pulls his palm away and replaces it with his lips, groaning as you whine into the kiss.

His movements continue, and as you draw closer to your boiling point his movements cease. He pulls his fingers from you and pulls away from the kiss. Now it's your turn to protest, you were almost there!

Before you can even say anything Daisuke is moving to where he's hovering over you, elbows pressed into the stiff mattress. "Did you want it this way babe, or did you have another position in mind?"

"Lemme ride."

"You got it."

He trades places with you, laying on his back yet again and caressing your hips as you line up with his cock. You sink down on him slowly, biting your lips to suppress a moan. Daisuke has no intentions of quieting himself. "Hoh fuck-" He sucks in a sharp breath once he was fully sheathed inside you.

He holds onto your hips with an almost bruising grip, careful not to hurt you. You begin to rise and fall into his lap, skin meeting skin with a 'plap' sound. Quiet moans and gasps pour past your lips as you continue to ride him, the long over due feeling of feeling full is almost too intense.

Beneath you Daisuke is slack jawed, eyes darting between your face and where the two of you meet. Despite the obvious pleasure he's experiencing it's obvious that he's wanting more, clearly holding back something.

You lean down and graze the shell of his ear with your lips, the feeling of your breath so close sends a shiver down his spine and goosebumps to form on his skin.

"You don't have to hold back." You whisper, You sit back up to look at his face. His eyes widen. "Wait what?"

"Don't hold back, You're super tense right now."

He swallows thickly and his hands squeeze tighter on your hips. "I would but like-" he pauses and bites his lip. "I don't wanna hurt you."

You snort and roll your eyes. "If I didn't think I could handle it I wouldn't have asked." For a moment he just stares blankly, the cogs in his brain turning.

"Meaning..?"

"Meaning I want you to give it to me," You grasp his jaw lightly in one hand and tilt his head up to look directly at you. "Hard."

In an instant his demeanor does a 180 and a wicked grin stretches across his face. "Say less."

His feet press into the mattress and he begins thrusting up, pace brutal. You yelp and grip the sheet below you. "Daisuke!" He merely chuckles and continues, his hands pulling you down to meet his thrusts.

This side of him is something you thought you would never see. Not that you thought he was 'weak' or submissive or anything, he just didn't seem like the type. Though when you're constantly being cockblocked by your crewmates emotions get bottled up quick.

Your eyes roll back as he continues thrusting, jaw falling slack and letting any and all noises flow freely. Somehow it felt like he was deeper, his cock hit new spots in you and you thought you were gonna see stars. The room is filled with the bed creaking and the sound of your bodies slapping together, there's no way that the others didn't hear you.

Suddenly he pauses, gasping for breath below you.

"Tapping out?" You ask snapping out of your daze. "Not yet, Might need to change positions though." He eases you backwards, hovering over you as your back hits the mattress for a second time. He lines himself back up with your pussy and pushes in.

Instinctively your legs wrap around his waist and pull him closer. His hips draw back and he resumes thrusting, your body bounces with each push and pull. Over the various noises you hear him mumble praises out to you, how good you feel and how well you're taking him. You moan his name unabashedly, head falling backwards and eyes squinting shut. Without a doubt you were going to be sore tomorrow, the ache starting to set in now. You didn't care, it felt amazing.

"That's my girl." he pants, his hands gripping the sheets beside your head and thrusting even harder. "I can't last much longer, Where do you want it?"

Wordlessly you tighten your legs around his waist and lock eyes with him. He swears and nods. "There? you got it babe." With a few more sloppy thrusts he's spilling inside of you.

He stays buried as he catches his breath, his hand coming up to trace your jawline. "God, You're beautiful."

"You too." He leans down brushing his lips against yours and pressing a few slow deep kisses against them. After he pulls away you point to the nightstand next to you. "I should have some tissues in the drawer."

He looks down to where both of you meet and snorts. "Oh whoops, yeah almost forgot about that." He slides out of you, and you feel his cum start to ooze out. He opens the drawer and pulls out the tissues you mentioned, grabbing a handful and cleaning you up first. It won't get all of it, but it'll clean you up enough.

Once the clean up part is over he climbs back into bed with you, pulling you close. "I uh- wasn't too rough with you right?" he asks, brown doe eyes searching your face eagerly. "You weren't too rough I promise," You brush hair away from his face and smile. "I kinda liked it." His face flushes and he smiles awkwardly "I'm glad you did, not sure if I'd be able to do that all the time though."

"We could always hold off for another few months." you tease. "Please don't." he adds on quickly, "I think I would literally explode." You snort and kiss him. "I'm kidding!"

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons| They having a s/o who is afraid of spiders

Characthers: Tengen, Sanemi, Kyojuro, Hotaru

A/n: I'm writing this one, inspired by the situation I posted here the other day about that huge spider that appeared in my bedroom and I wanted to make a scenario where they kill a spider because the reader is afraid of spiders😅

I'm actually not terrified of spiders (at least when they're small) because when they're big I get all shivering🫣

🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️

Tengen :

You and Suma were in the bedroom talking and folding some clothes to put them away in the drawers of the dresser. "Will Lord Tengen come for dinner today? I mean, he was supposed to go on a mission today." Suma said "I have no idea," you replied, picking up the folded clothes. "Maybe he won't, he hasn't come back yet, so maybe he'll be too late."You went to the chest of drawers and opened the drawer, coming across a huge spider that made you scream loudly "What's wrong?" Suma approached and when she saw the spider she immediately jumped onto the bed in fear, also screaming Tengen opened the front door and heard your screams coming from the bedroom, which made him panic. He thought some demon had come in since it was already night. He ran towards the bedroom and when he opened the door he saw you hugging Suma with one arm and using the other to hold on to your shoe as if you were threatening to kill the spider if it got even an inch closer to the two of you. He scratched the back of his neck for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on there. "Wow, what the hell is happening here? I heard you two screaming just now." He said, approaching the bed "Tengen... over there." You pointed with your shoe to the chest of drawers "What's wrong?" He looked back without understanding "There's a huge spider inside the drawer." You explained "Oh, and what do you want me to do? Protect you and Suma from the spider or the spider from the two of you?" He laughed and you threw your shoe at him "Don't be an idiot and finish that thing off now." "Okay, I'll do it." He said, approaching the open drawer and saw the spider. He used his own hand to kill it effortlessly, both you and Suma made faces of disgust. "It's dead." He said, turning to you, who sighed in relief "Thanks for killing it." You said "Thank you, Lord Tengen, it really scared us." Suma smiled at him, and he smiled back "Yeah, I know..." He approached you and stopped at the edge of the bed. "But now you can rest easy. Here, the corpse." He said, throwing the dead spider at you two, and you jumped out of bed, running away, and he laughed out loud "Tengen, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" You yelled

Sanemi:

Sanemi was spending the night with you today since he hadn't been called for any missions. You were happy to be able to spend more time with your husband since nights are usually very busy for him as Hashira. While he was in the kitchen finishing up dinner (yes because he definitely cooks well and no one can change my mind) you were in the bathroom taking a shower. After finishing, you wrapped yourself in the towel, drying yourself and when you went to get the dress that was on top of the cabinet, you saw a big spider that made you scream and run to the corner of the bathroom trembling. "SANEMI!!" You shouted for your husband who was scared from the kitchen, hearing your screams He left the food aside and ran to the bathroom to see what was going on. As soon as he opened the door, he found you in the corner, scared and he didn't realize what was happening. "What was all that screaming about?" He asked as he approached you "Nemi, look to the side, on the cabinet." You said, your voice trembling and pointing to where the spider was He looked to the side and saw the motionless spider and couldn't help but laugh a little. "Seriously? You were screaming and cowering because of a simple spider?" He frowned and you nodded "Yes, and rightly so. Have you seen the size of that bitch?" You replied "So what?" "So what? Kill her!" You ordered and he rolled his eyes "Holy shit, Y/n!" He slapped the spider with his bare hand and crushed it like it was nothing. "Does it really cost you that much to kill a fucking spider?" He scolded you "Yes it does, because I'm scared and those things are disgusting"You said, coming out of the corner, adjusting the towel that was slipping, and he just shook his head. "Anyway, thanks for killing her." "Hurry up and get dressed, the food must be cold by now with all the time we wasted here because of a spider." He said, turning around walking toward the door "Was it really necessary to use so much brutality?" You scratched the back of your neck, seeing the spider completely crushed "Didn't you tell me to kill it? There it is, but if you feel so sorry for it, next time I'll ignore your screams." He said, slamming the bathroom door "He's scarier than spiders," you thought, smiling

Kyojuro:

You and your husband had taken the day off to train and improve breathing and combat techniques, since in a few days you would be called to go on a mission once again. Kyojuro was as fast as ever, sometimes it was hard for you to keep up with him, even though you were a Hashira like him. He had a lot of talent and you always admired him a lot for that. Not only you, but the other Hashiras as well. His attacks were coming from all directions, your arms were already wavering, tired of trying to block them all for hours. Your body was about to give in and he still seemed to be full of energy to continue. And then after some time you fell to the ground completely sweaty and exhausted, your breathing was uneven and your limbs numb. You had been training since early afternoon and the sun was already setting, it was long and painful but it was worth it. "Well well, my wife looks so tired. I didn't overdo it with the training, did I?" He asked, crouching down next to you "Enough for me to not move for the next few days. I could barely defend myself from all those attacks." You said and he chuckled "Nah, you did really well today. You're getting stronger and that made me proud." "Thanks." You smiled You were still lying on the floor when you felt an impression on your leg as if something was crawling up your leg and when you pulled the fabric up to see, you came across a huge spider which made you scream and shake your leg so it would come off. "KYO!! HELP ME!!" Fear took over you making you jump into his arms and put your arms around his neck, screaming "Y/N! What happened! Where did you get all that strength from now?" He frowned, trying to stay stable with you in his arms since you had thrown yourself at him very suddenly and you wouldn't stop shaking your leg. "If you don't stop moving we're both going to fall." "A huge spider is crawling up my leg." You explained "Calm down, just let me see that." He put you on the floor and bent down to check, but the spider had already fallen from your leg. "It's okay, little flame, it probably fell when you swung your leg. There's nothing here." He smiled at you "Are you sure?" You said, peeking everywhere, even inside your pants to check "Not at all." He nodded "What a fucking scare!" You said, sighing in relief "Y/n, since when are you afraid of spiders? You've never told me about it." He crossed his arms with a teasing smile "I not afraid of spiders, but I mean... One that big, I do." You said, scratching your nape, and he smiled. "Are you laughing at me?" "Me? I would never make fun of my dear wife." He pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. "But from now on, I'm going to keep a spider like that one with me for when you start to run out of energy during training." He teased and you roll your eyes, slapping his chest "You're an idiot." You giggled

Hotaru :

Your husband was working long hours, forging and perfecting a new sword. Every minute of his work was precious, he loved what he did for living and if anyone dared to ruin his work, he would kill the person responsible. However, there were still little things that kept him calm and peaceful. The sound of the bells as the wind blew through them, the delicious and sweet dangos. Ah yes, his weakness... You then decided to make the recipe to take to him, who must have been hungry by now. When you arrived at the forge, he was there and you carefully entered to surprise him. He was so focused that he barely felt your presence even next to him. "Hi, dear! How are you?" You greeted him with a smile, but he continued sharpening the blade. "I brought food, you're hungry, right? Standing there for hours, working must not be an easy task." You approached him, caressing his back Seeing that he wasn't responding, you decided to run your hands along his sides and lightly tickle him, which immediately made him squirm a little and lose focus. "Y/n, I'm working..." He said, but you decided to intensify the touch, making him squirm even more "And you're ignoring me while I talk to you, and I'm not liking it one bit." "It's almost finished, okay?" He said, holding your hands. "Just a few more touches and--" "And you're going to take a break and come eat with me, got that?" You ordered and he just exhaled, rolling his eyes at you, giving in to your commands The swordsmith's eyes were now focused not on a blade but on the dango in his hands. His bright eyes looked like a stars, which you found cute. "This tastes so good." He said as he ate "Did you like it? I made it for you." "You did well then." "Thank you." You smiled You looked at the bench where he was forging a sword a moment ago and saw the shiny, sharp blade that could cut just by looking at it. You approached to see it up close. You were one of the few people he allowed to get close to his works of art and even hold them. A privilege. As soon as you picked up the sword, a spider that was on the handle ended up jumping onto your hand, making you drop the sword and start screaming, scaring Haganezuka who was eating so calmly. "What happened? Did you go crazy out of nowhere?" He asked, coming closer and you jumped into his lap, grabbing his large, strong figure. "Hotaru!! A huge spider appeared just now when I went to grab my sword." You said, distressed by the situation "And is all this fuss necessary?" He grumbled "Of course it is! It was huge and scary!" He looked at the counter and then at the floor where he saw the fearsome spider and stepped on it a few times, solving the problem. "There!! It's dead now. You can put your feet back on the ground." He said, putting you down again You sighed in relief at seeing the dead spider, but you couldn't help but grimace in disgust. "Yikes!! That's so horrible." "What was really horrible was that you dropped my sword that had just been sharpened." He said, picking up the sword from the floor and shaking his head, looking at it "I was scared. Did you see the size of that thing?" "So what? My sword is more important than the size of the spider." "Don't tell me you were going to let that thing sting me just because of a sword?"You crossed your arms "No, I mean... I would kill it, of course... But then I would kill you for dropping the sword so carelessly." He said and you narrowed your eyes at him "I should be the one killing you for being such an idiot and obsessed with swords." You said through clenched teeth

[dulcewrites]

There is def a timeline where modern aemyrah take a break and Aemond is like ‘she’s gone’ by hall and oates levels of screaming, crying, throwing up about it 😭😭

[hellofastudysession]

am i rlly going to write a death note literary analysis when i could be doing other things

about the discourse going on in the tag abt "death note is acab and thats why the characters couldnt better the world with the note (/written in somewhat jokey matter)" vs "death note is trying to say we all have potential for evil, especially if you get a chance to insta-hurt ppl without repercussions, and it doesnt matter if youre a cop or not", i personally feel like it ignores the things that i like abt death note, which is "both of these things are true", and simultaneously "both of these things do not matter". the first part of this is dedicated to the first point, the latter to the last.

first point. i think its an important part of the message and themes (unintentional or not, and i lean on the former because... come on, can you really say the author intended you to not think of the cops as good people, at least compared to light and l) that light is a cops son, and that almost everyone who gets the death note is cop adjacent/thinks like a cop and is already corrupt/powerful when they get it (mello raised to think hed be just like l, yotsuba group is self explanatory; you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me teru "churchill" mikami, who was hand selected by light out of a bunch of rabid kira supporters, is a normal citizen). i appreciated the cop post bc its rlly important to not gloss over that aspect.

all of this would be an argument for "only someone like them would do something like this, and i am not like them, so im above them and immune to thinking about what id do with it", but... misa is the MOST important outlier in all of this bc her murders are solely selfish in nature and shes not doing any of this for "the greater good"!!! her nature of being an exception and still a very very bad person is really really important...

or it would be if death note gave a shit about her character at all!!! im not talking about her tragic side, im talking about exploring the ramifications of her killing people the way lights murders are (somewhat) explored. that would strengthen the message greatly! but shes dismissed and that weakens it overall. firstly, she's dismissed by the characters when l only sees her as a way to get to kira and basically shelves her the rest of the time. secondly, shes dismissed by the narrative when her character is gradually ground down to a stump and (not to sound perilously close to the bad takes ppl meme about) she never faces repercussions for her actions. every other character using the death note is treated relatively seriously, but misa just dies bc her love is dead. im not saying this isnt a... fitting punishment or that it isnt in character, but it doesnt fit snugly into the theme other people are talking about of "you reap what you sow" at all.

we do have something of an equivalent to misa's grayscale motives. surprise surprise, its light yagami. first is light's characterization in the musical (i will also note that misa never kills anyone in the musical). light's thinking is coplike, yes — he literally starts his first song by talking about "throw[ing] away the key" — but also, oddly enough, could be read as progressive and therefore sympathetic to tumblr ("let the corporations make the regulations / and hold no one accountable when everything gets wrong / let the rich and famous get away with murder / every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk, his client gets to walk"). compare to the anime and manga, where his bigotry and pride and disgust come from a place of lukewarm dissatisfaction and boredom. the musical has much less time to play around with lights character, so it gives the audience something to immediately hook on. more on how that actually plays out later.

in the animanga, none of this is justified from the start. animanga light could say he was just killing people to make humanity way, way worse, and that wouldnt matter, because at the root of it, it was always his boredom that made him pick up the note. of course he actually believes in justice and believes hes doing the right thing (no, he believes he's doing the wrong thing, for the sake of the world... the right thing, because he is god...), but it was boredom at the start. all animanga light says about justice and righteousness and the law is a front in the end, bc he is exactly like l and misa — amoral. selfish. searching for entertainment. hedonistic. we know this. he kills naomi misora*. he kills lind l. turner. everything hes saying deserves to be dismissed from the beginning.

"but doesnt that mean you agree with the discourse post you wrote this post to argue against?" like i said, i agree with both of them! but i... still think its not right to reduce death note to the message of "the power to kill people is bad". because that is not exactly what the story is saying, even though that's literally its whole plot and therefore reaching that conclusion is self explanatory (lmao). let's look at the concept of mu. nothingness. "there's no heaven or hell". The Real Slay The Princess (Death Note Essay) Starts Here.

in light's final moments in the death note manga, while screaming about not wanting to die, he remembers that the first day they met, ryuk told light that "there's no heaven or hell. no matter what they do in life, all people go to the same place. all humans are equal in death". it is retroactively revealed that light knew this the whole time, operated under this knowledge for all the years we watched him — the knowledge that nothing he does is actually bad, that nothing any human does is actually bad, that shinigami are not "evil", that the universe does not care. that no one cares except humans. this oblivion absolutely terrifies him more than anything anyone could ever do to him. its what he thinks of before anything else as he flails there, screaming, dying. one could say everything he does after that day is him trying to escape that fact, or wrest control over it. but it doesnt work.

here are the lyrics of requiem, the musical's final song, sung over the bodies of l and musical light, a light who was at least somewhat good-intentioned at first: "sleep now, here among your choices / then fade away / hear how the world rejoices / shades of gray / gone who was right or wrong / who was weak or strong / nothing left to learn". this is the final message the death note musical and the manga chose to leave us with. there is no judgement. even after all that acknowledged hurt, after all the damage done, there is no judgement.

in the manga and anime alike, the world is just as fucked when light picks up the death note as when he dies. sure, we as readers can guess otherwise logically (and be optimistic, believing the world was never fucked regardless), but that's not what death note wants you to think. it ends with matsuda and another member of the task force noting how the world is worse again even though they killed kira (matsuda is clearly much worse for wear, but still determined), we see the shitty motorcycle band again, it ends with misa and a whole kira cult on a mountain even though kira died a long time ago...

its extremely important that light is never killed by any human or any aspect of the law. he is always killed by ryuk: a chaotic force completely detached from human sensibilities, one that does not care about good and evil. same with l; in the anime, manga, and musical, he is always killed by rems senseless, morally gray love (and you could argue in the kdrama that hes killed by love there too lol). justice is just a set dressing.

this is not just because death note is a tragedy, because good and evil can still matter in a tragedy. the theme of "nothingness" and "good and evil doesnt matter here" is also shown in a situation relatively unrelated to light winning or losing, or being good or bad. and its in fucking lawlight of all things. we all know ls not a good person. we know lights not a good person. this is tip of the iceberg death note knowledge. but the moment they start to interact, none of that starts to matter. textually, their relationship becomes more important than the people theyve killed and hurt. and the thing is? the thing is? THAT WORKS STORY-WISE. THAT'S ENTERTAINING. AND IT'S NEVER TEXTUALLY CALLED OUT IN A LASTING WAY. l and lights relationship, no matter how much i meme it, is genuinely important to the themes and "mu" because it makes it clear that despite all the pretensions, despite everything, this was never about good and evil. and it still works in the story. this is why death note is simultaneously a comedy — isn't the battle of good and evil supposed to matter more? well, fine, i'll keep watching this anyway. that suspension of disbelief comes crashing down the moment l dies, though, and a relationship built on nothingness (the "mu" sort, meaninglessness, not "character development" nothingness, theres plenty of character development) gives way to just nothingness (again, "mu", not light's post-l depression nothingness), forever.

(an aside: there is no one to root for in death note, and the only things to root for are either interesting character relationships, convoluted plots, or complete and total destruction: for everything to end so no more damage is done.)

not to say that death note does not encourage its readers to consider what damage they might do with the death note (obviously.), or that its characters never do. look at matsuda, a much easier heroic figure to latch on to than soichiro because of his unique place in the cast dynamic and because he's willing to consider both sides of the situation and kill light instantly for all he's done. its just that the story's own stance on the subject is... complicated by the existence of shinigami worldviews and by its own insistence that the world cannot change for the better.

also, this is not to say that this is executed well by the death note manga at all. it is a very strong tool, artistically, to establish and then violently remove any emotional connections between characters and make your story only about the exceedingly convoluted lengths characters go to to survive and catch each other so the reader can realize how ultimately pointless all of this is, but like... is that a good story choice if that's all you do? i would say not really. add in a good dollop of misogyny that destroys the second-to-last character who might actually be an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast's dull one-track focus on winning and justice, and youve got yourself a shitty story that... honestly still achieves what it went out to do, just not in a way id ever want to replicate.

anyway, back to the parts death note's actually trying to say. no matter what any human does in their life, no matter how they try to hurt or help the world, they all die in the end. hey, light, they all die in the end. once dead, they can never come back to life. and the seasons turn. and the world rejoices. and you say "goodbye"...

that's all.

no analysis of death notes overarching theme would be complete without nears final monologue, the definitive roast of light, the "you're just a murderer" speech: "what is right from wrong? what is good from evil? nobody can truly distinguish between them. even if there is a god." if we take this as talking about the actual god in the room (ryuk) as well as light, then near admits that humans will never be able to withstand these overwhelming forces and that, using justice and happiness and selfishness, they are just scrabbling to find meaning in things they ultimately have no control over.

but of course, near does not stop there. "[...] even then i'd stop and think for myself. i'd decide for myself whether his teachings are right and wrong." nears alright with not having control over everything, because near can still control nears own actions. these forces can and do exist, but they have no sway over nears own humanity — unlike light, who caved.

one of the creators of death note said they believe its message is "life is short, so everyone should do their best". the first time i learned this, i was like, thats... nice and optimistic, but an awful reading of the story! "life is short, so everyone should be desperate and striving like light yagami", who literally cut off other ppls lives for his own life? what character in death note are we supposed to strive towards when we "do our best"? they all do awful things with their lives! honestly, maybe they shouldnt have tried their best, if this is what their best is!

but with the view of "mu"... it makes a bit more sense. just a little. maybe.

there is no good and evil. there is only what humans think, and no matter what we do, we all die in the end. it is easy to be crushed and terrified by this in the same way light is, but what is more important than justice and righteousness and finding meaning is... doing your best. not being a person that hurts others too much. not letting yourself get swallowed up by an ideal. not going too far. and simultaneously, trusting yourself.

it leaves a few questions, though... was the currently dead l even a little bit right about his blatantly amoral approach, then? was there a point to this pain, and me slogging through this dumbass manga, and all the people that have lost their lives to a selfish teenage cop's son and the whims of everyone chasing after him? was there a point to any of this...?

the manga** never answers this. it stays clinically impartial until the very end. the musical is anything but clinically impartial (and i love it so much for that), and its ryuk that has the last word.

"there's no point at all."

of course theres no point. none of this was ever supposed to happen. that is what matters more than all the hurt and the crimes and the pain.

and that's... actually okay, because it's over now.

yes, death note has many really important themes present in its story, but its viewpoint is nihilism first and foremost. thats why its so fun and easy to play around with all the other messages, because no matter what fun or torment or awful things or righteous justice or absolute nothingness or sentimentality happens in between, there is always an end.

there is always the end.

[jin-zixun]

"it's not real or selfless love if you're expecting something out of it" and the something is not being fucking murdered by the guy you did nice things for.

like yeah sure jgy's love was cheap and manipulative and conditional because he had the audacity to complain about being murdered 😭😭😭 i can't. i just really fucking can't.

"he threw all the nice things he did for lxc back in his face" after lxc stabbed him. to death. he's allowed to have some fucking feelings and yeah it's out of line to stab someone to death who has saved your life and supported you emotionally and financially for years jgy deserves to be able to say he's wrong for that jfc he was fatally stabbed and you're mad he's complaining about that? fuck off with that

[caterpillarinacave]

Just saw the northern lights in my backyard I am having a moment

[witchygagirlwrites]

Kelly Severide x Reader x Matt Casey

Vibes based off Fix What You Didn't break by Nate Smith

Edit and request by @desimarie12

When you started at fifty one it was a temporary position. Someone to help out as a partner for Sylvie until someone permanent could be found. Matt and Kelly never knew they'd find the one person who could repair their hearts the day you came sweeping into the doors of the station house.

You were quiet at times you should be loud and loud when you should be quiet, unbearable at night because you barely slept, acted like you couldn't exist without music and drank more coffee than rescue squad combined. 

You could also talk everyone into a snowball fight at two in the morning. You made the best pancakes and somehow could guess everyone's favorite color within a few minutes of talking to them.  You picked up on people's moods and could figure out if they needed someone to vent to, help finding a solution or just a distraction from whatever was plaguing them at the moment.

The day Kelly started to fall was actually Shay’s birthday. You didn’t know what the day was or why everyone, including Matt, was even giving him such a wide berth. He’d locked himself in his quarters where he planned to stay until a call came in but then you came knocking. He hadn’t looked up the first time but you were nothing if not persistent.

When he finally stood and unlocked the door you walked past him and sat down on the edge of his desk “Do you want to talk about it?” he sat down in the chair about a foot from you and stared you down “About what exactly?” 

The smile you gave him was one you normally reserved for trying to calm patients but he could tell it was genuine nonetheless “Whatever it is that’s bothering you so much even Matt hasn’t hardly looked your way. Your shoulders and jaw are so tense my muscles are hurting looking at them and your eyes look so damn sad”

He didn't know what it was but staring into your eyes he couldn't keep that wall up no matter how hard he tried. He found himself telling you all about Shay. By the time he was done you were standing next to the chair with your arms around his shoulders and his head was leaned over on your stomach “I'm so sorry Kel. I can't imagine losing someone like that. I've never had anyone mean that much to me. Just remember those we love are never truly gone as long as we carry them in our hearts. Any time you want to talk about her, come and find me. I'll be glad to listen” 

He probably should've been embarrassed, falling apart like that. Not showing a stronger front but he couldn't find that emotion in himself. He felt better after talking to you, a little less broken. He had no idea how you managed to have that quality about you, a tornado of a thing but yet here you were calming those around you. The eye of the storm and helping to calm it down. 

“Thank you darlin” he whispered and saw a smirk slip onto your face “Darlin huh? Listen at you being all sweet. She must have been one hell of a woman to have that effect on you”

The day Matt started to fall was when all of you responded to a call with another station house. You were working triage as they bought victims out of a warehouse fire.

The way you handled yourself as you worked the tent was extraordinary. You were helping Sylvie along with the medics from the other house. Moving from patient to patient, offering them a kind smile and never showing any sign of exhaustion.

When he went in he could hear your voice across the radio, behind Chief Boden yelling at the other house's men. He had no clue what was going on so he and Kelly worked continuing to clear the floor they were on until Boden called for them to clear out.

When they made it out you were currently being held back by Cruz and Capp from arguing with the captain of the other house. “Woah. Why is my medic trying to kill you?” He asked and you stopped fighting to turn towards the sound of his voice “This asshole decided to tear a wall down when Boden told him not to and forced the flames back towards you and Severide. That's why the clear out had to be called”

He turned to the other captain “Why didn't you listen to my chief?” The other captain shrugged “You have to take risks every now and then Casey” then glanced towards Kelly “Ask your boyfriend. We all know his track record” 

“That's it!” You yelled and dove over Cruz’s shoulder and Matt barely caught you as Boden ordered the other captain off the scene.

He carried you over to the triage tent before sitting you down. You were still breathing heavy and glaring at the members of the other house “Assholes want to endanger my captain and lieutenant then act like it wasn't a big deal”

“Your captain and lieutenant?” He asked and you shrugged “Until Boden finds a permanent partner for Sylvie” a smile slipped onto his face “I don't know you're sounding like you belong here” and you grinned “Maybe I just have decided you two won't take care of yourselves so someone needs to”

Kelly and Matt stood in their kitchen across from each other at the counter, both silent drinking coffee. “Y/N's contract is up this month” Kelly broke the silence.

“We're not letting her leave are we?” Matt asked and Kelly shook his head “Not without an effort to get her to stay”

______________

The day they finally got up the nerve to ask you if there was any way you'd let the two of them take you out you surprised them with letting them know you were officially a permanent fixture of fifty one.

"What made you decide to stay?” Matt asked as the three of you walked by the waterfront. You looked between them then shrugged “Maybe I like my captain and lieutenant just a little bit”

You wouldn't let either of them get in their heads. If Matt pulled away from Kelly you were pulling him back and vice versa. If Benny came around making Kelly doubt himself you were there, reminding him how good of a man he truly was.

Neither of them knew what it was about you. Was it the fact that you were wild where they were calm and the calm where they were wild? Was it the fact that you could see through any facade they put up and pinpoint exactly what was going on in their heads at the moment? 

You were the light to lead them home no matter the storm and always shined bright. When you would curl up between them and make sure to be touching them both before falling asleep, when they'd find you the next morning wearing one of  their shirts and dancing around the kitchen while the coffee made. 

When they would see your eyes tracking them on a scene and how your shoulders relaxed when they walked out. When they would have their absolute worst days but then come home and you would curl up on the couch and ask them to watch a movie and that day would melt away?

Yeah. You didn't realize it but you saved them. With your love, your spirit and just the person you were. 

[moth-mart]

Outlaw status reachieveeed 🎉🎉🎉