#and he could definitely have npd

[happyk44]

So this post I tagged w/ npd!Annabeth just popped out of the queue and as I'm rereading it, I'm laughing to myself because wasn't there some official post from Annabeth's POV being shocked and annoyed that Percy has better grades than her. Even though Percy has gone to school every year consistently (save for that gap year he was in a coma) and also has a teacher for a step-father, while she was presumably being "homeschooled" at camp where she would be able to prioritize her interests (architecture and mythology) over stuff she could care less about, like biology.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Hey! Hope you’re having a good day! Just wanted to say I’ve become obsessed with your psychology analysis on the Vees and VoxVal. I’m curious, since the relationship is definitely toxic, how do you think the cycle of relationship abuse would work with them? (Honeymoon phase, tension, incident, ex)

Awww I'm so glad you like my silly headcanons, I fucking love writing them <3

(headcanons in question because they are relevant to this post: Vox and NPD | Valentino and BPD | random Vees headcanons)

You know, I believe their relationship is toxic because neither of them is particularly well-adjusted. However, I wouldn't apply the cycle of abuse theory to them. As far as I know, that theory is used to describe relationships that are highly unequal with clearly defined roles of abuser and victim. For instance, during the tension phase, tension grows in the abuser while the victim "walks on eggshells," trying their best to calm the abuser and constantly living in fear of an incident. I can't really imagine Vox or Valentino being that frightened of each other. Actually, that's why I think they are meant to be together - they can handle each other.

That being said, I do believe they have some relationship issues. In episode 2, we witnessed Vox calming Valentino (by yelling at him so very toxic) when he was angry. Vox hates Valentino's unpredictability because he is a total control freak. While he finds Valentino's fiery temper extremely alluring, he also wishes Val would tone it down. He'd like to have a more reliable partner, especially because for him, falling in love was a significant and risky investment.

On the flip side, immediately after Vox managed to calm Valentino down, Valentino essentially provoked him into a temper tantrum. Look at this shit-eating smile; he knew damn well what he was doing.

Vox usually keeps his emotions hidden behind a polished facade, staying detached. Valentino, on the other hand, is all about intense emotions—loves passion, violence, and desperation. He digs Vox's cool business daddy vibe, but it drives him nuts when Vox gets all emotionally distant from him. Vox tries to guard himself because he knows Valentino can easily weaponize people's emotions against them, and he's lowkey scared of being vulnerable. So when he's going through some tough shit, Vox puts up this wall, becomes all distant, and then Valentino feels rejected and starts being a total jerk, pushing Vox away because he's hurting (if you've read my BPD Valentino headcanons, you get what I mean).

So those are the main sources of tension in their relationship. Sometimes one of them snaps. In Vox's case, it means complete withdrawal from the relationship and sinking into work (since he wants a perfect relationship, he rarely even admits he's angry, he's just like "It's fine I just don't have time to see you") which obviously drives Val crazy. Because he's obsessively in love. So to fix the situation he doesn't apologize (since Vox "wasn't even angry") - he just invites himself to Vox's apartment/office and seduces him by acting nice and submissive so Vox can feel in control again.

In Valentino's case, snapping means a violent outburst (though, I don't think he's physically abusive because he knows Vox is not afraid of him and could easily bite back or, even worse, leave him for good). These outbursts make Vox furious because he can't stop them. Then, they end up yelling a lot, throwing stuff around, and sometimes even breaking up. After that, Valentino goes on a week-long bender, just partying and hooking up with dozens of people. Vox, being obsessed, watches everything, and his jealousy always gets the best of him. He finally breaks and sends someone to bring Val back home. Or he personally intervenes, kills whoever Val is fucking, gives him a giant bouquet of roses, and goes all out to prove that he's the best guy Val could ever have. Vox is a showman, so he acts almost like a charming and obnoxiously rich mafia boss from a smutty novel, who wants nothing more than to please his princess with grand gestures.

Oh also I think Val is very sensitive about Vox treating him "like a woman." He's actually very secure in his masculinity; he feels comfortable enough to present himself in feminine ways while still acting masculine. Like I mentioned, he's queer and he totally owns it. On the other hand, Vox still grapples with some deeply internalized heteronormative ideas, occasionally treating Valentino like his bitch. Valentino hates it because he's aware of Vox's sexist tendencies, and he refuses to allow Vox to treat him as though he's beneath him. He genuinely believes in the concept of an equal partnership in their relationship and can't stand Vox's attempts to alter the power dynamics in his favor.

If you like this post you may also like my VoxVal fanfiction

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

I personally think the wof mental health rep is a lot better than it seems at first glance.

I should say upfront that I'm not a professional, though one of my biggest interests is psychology and majority of the conditions I talk in this post I either have or have traits of (and I'll clarify which I don't).

Whiteout is the only canonical neurodivergent character as far as I know, having associative synesthesia, but many headcanoning her to be autistic. I haven't read the books in a long while, but from what I remember I can agree, though I'm not autistic (despite meeting criteria... long story) so I won't for sure say if I think her traits are enough for a diagnosis or not (again, haven't read the books recently), but everyone seems to think they are so I'll agree.

Hawthorn has psychotic symptoms, which I think is important to represent since people with psychosis (whether that be from being on the schizophrenia spectrum or some other reason) are very often put in a bad light. Hawthorn is too, to an extent, but that's more so due to the Breath of Evil and not due to his psychotic symptoms, or from what I can remember, at least. I don't think Hawthorn has a mental disorder like schizophrenia since symptoms of psychosis can be caused by isolation (I'm not actually 100% sure if this is true, this is just something my psychologist told me), but I think the representation is still important either way. I relate to him a lot due to his symptoms.

Darkstalker very clearly shows symptoms of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I don't think you can even argue that (sorry, narcissism anon from a month or so ago). I myself fit the criteria for NPD, and I definitely see myself in him. I doubt he can be diagnosed since he is still a child, but his symptoms might be extreme enough to warrant one, I'm not sure (coming from a minor who's doctors referred them for a personality disorder screening themself). Of the nine (9) criteria for NPD, just off memory he fit basically all of them. I won't go into all of it but I will definitely mention his splitting, seeing how he goes from loving Clearsight to thinking he can kill her if she doesn't meet his expectations. He also has the aspect of how it develops too, that being trauma (I recall Arctic being abusive to him which is definitely enough to warrant trauma), and being spoiled as a child (this could be my brain making things up but I swear this happened, or at least he was overly praised or something). So yeah, fairly sure he would have been diagnosed with NPD if he didn't eat the strawberry.

Moonwatcher seems to have social and separation anxiety. I like this, since I am diagnosed with both and they are both very difficult to live with, and I like seeing another character having it that I can relate to in that way. She also has symptoms of AVPD (just from what I remember), but she's only like... twelve (12) so there's no way she could be diagnosed.

Anemone, while not having any mental disorders specifically, still had a rough mental health journey so I think it's important to bring up. She grew up with her mother, Queen Coral, who was a complete helicopter parent, and likely never met her Father, King Gill. She was praised and adorned all her life, so it makes sense that when she was eventually separated from Coral, she acted out what she thought she deserved. While I think Darkstalker has NPD, I can't say the same for Anemone, since she was so young and it's normal for young children to have narcissistic traits. When she met Darkstalker, they clicked well due to both being animi and having... less than positive thoughts on the dragons around them. Darkstalker ended up lovebombing her, and telling her to leave when she got mad at Moon. She lashed out at Turtle afterwards, before they reconciled later. I thought this would be important to mention.

Peril likely has a few personality disorders as well, the most likely ones in my opinion being BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DPD (Dependent Personality Disorder), which isn't surprising given her situation. She likely has tons of trauma so it's only natural for her to develop a traumagenic disorder. I say those in particular because of her rapidly changing thoughts and emotions and her over attachment to Clay, which I can definitely relate to given how I act with my DP (Dependent Person). I don't have BPD though I show traits (not sure if enough for a diagnosis or not) and I remember Peril showing traits too.

There's also a lot of dragons that probably have PTSD in some way, Fathom, Peril, and Jerboa III being the first ones that come to mind specifically.

I seriously think this is an important topic and I might make a video on it at some point. Like I said, I love psychology and I think it's interesting how it impacts characters from my favourite book series.

.

[saey707]

Hey girl! You know what?

Can you give us spicy headcanons or scenario with Kayn after comforting him bc of his ex band?

I'M SORRY BUT THIS BRAT AND SEX AS STESS RELIEF JUST SO 🥵

✿ Prompt: Kayn wants to relieve some stress ✿

♡ champion focus: kayn ♡ tw: nsfw, npd ♡ Gender-neutral reader

Author’s Note: What a spicy idea ₍^ >ヮ<^₎ I definitely have some ideas in mind. But, I will keep it relatively brief because I have gotten a lot of "Kayn being kicked out of the band" requests! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) Hope you enjoy what I have in store! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

"Hgnn~! Kayyynn!" You whimpered against the filthy restroom wall your face was smashed against. "Yes... Yes... Agh, yes~!"

It was the second time you were being fucked like this today. Behind you, Kayn was brutally thrusting into you, his fingers digging into the skin of your bare hips. His jaw was clenched, and soft grunts flowed from his lips every time he pushed into you. His hand pinned your wrist against the wall, the other resting on the nape of your neck. You felt disgusting. You felt degraded. As if you were nothing more than something for Kayn to mindlessly fuck.

And time and time again, you allowed Kayn to use you as his source of stress relief. You entitled him to push you into dirty and dangerous situations, knowing it could end far worse for your reputation than his own tainted name.

"I revolt you, don't I?" He whispered before he pumped into you once more. You whined, avoiding his eyes. How could you lie and say he didn't? As if you didn't just comfort him moments prior, offering your sweet sympathy.

"It's okay..." You mumbled back, gasping when your boyfriend shoved your face back against the wall, pulling himself from your throbbing hole.

"You don't have to lie to me,” Kayn attempted to persuade you, "My old band said that I'm toxic." You shook your head insistently, internally cursing yourself as your bottom lip trembled and betrayed you. "I like when you fuck me like this..."

He released you, backing up to stare down at your pathetic, quivering body. Your eyes longingly fixed on the generous curve of his dick, dripping white and slicked over with your juices. Kayn chuckled into his hand, shaking his head.

He pulled you up roughly, sighing against your temple. You wrapped your legs around him, shaking your hips so you could lower yourself back onto his dick once more. Instinctively, you began to pleasure yourself with him.

"All you ever say are pretty lies to me," Kayn spoke casually, his stare blank as you connected your lips against the side of his neck, suckling on his sweetly exposed skin. "You're wrong." You interrupted.

The rockstar hummed, rather amused with your sudden sternity.

"You're handsome... Talented... Have a... Super sexy body..." Kayn was narcissistically eager to hear all your praises, "I'm starved for you... All I can ever truly think about is you. And only you, Kayn.”

"...Then beg me for more."

[devilboydogman]

Oh, I absolutely need to talk about the separation arc from an NPD perspective.

Because I definitely think Reigen could have NPD, and from that angle, his responses to things make perfect, PAINFUL amounts of sense.

Essentially, up until Mob walked away from him in that alley, he’d been on a high. He felt overconfident, unbeatable. Business was booming! He was getting praise! And because empathy is hard to come by for pwNPD, especially on highs and crashes, he didn’t notice that Mob was not as happy about things as he was.

Let me tell you a little something about a narc high. It is fragile. It is precarious. I call them jenga tower days. One minute you are standing tall and proud. One wrong push or pull or poke at your built ego, and it comes CRASHING DOWN.

The moment Reigen realized his ego had caused him to mess the fuck up with Mob, his only friend? BOOM. Crash. Spiral. And on the outside, at first, he appeared to try and backpedal, to deny, to pretend things were fine on hopes they could GO BACK to how they where. But that doesn’t happen. So he is left to deal with the aftermath of the damage his ego caused, alone, because he hasn’t established communication or expressed his feelings properly with, well, ANYONE, probably. So he has to realize that he can have friendships that aren’t reliant on ego boosting, on business, on superficiality.

He can have someone who genuinely likes him, who thinks he is capable of good, egotistical assholery and all.

And that is so important to me.

[the-badger-mole]

Would you classify Aang as a narcissist? Cause I feel like he has a lot of traits to qualify as one, especially with how he raised Tenzin.

I'm assuming you're asking if I think Aang has NPD. That's a valid reading of his character. I wouldn't say that's necessarily my reading of his character, though. I interpret Aang as deeply selfish and avoidant, and he definitely has narcissistic traits (like all really selfish people do), but I wouldn't call him NPD. His biggest issue is he doesn't deal with the things he doesn't want to deal with, and that includes his trauma. I think what happened with his kids is a result of him not processing his grief and anger in a healthy way and choosing toxic positivity instead.

What makes me hesitate to say Aang is an outright, diagnosable narcissist is...well, the fact that I'm not a psychologist and I don't know how to diagnose, but also despite how much I hate him as a character, I think he could change. It's just a matter of him facing what he's been through and working through it. It's a bit of a paradox, but allowing himself to sit in his anger, bitterness, and grief without trying to shove those feelings away because "the monks told me..." would make him a better, more empathetic person. The most comforting and giving people in the world aren't the ones who are always happy and cheerful and prosperous, but the ones who have really suffered, because they can understand the suffering of others.

[bibibbon]

if we're talking personality disorders (of the cluster b variety). obvi its not 1=1 but its far more likely and reasonable to say toga has bpd (with izuku or ochako being her "favorite person") than aspd. also when people call villains (or characters they don't like (← seen this one more than the first tbh)) "unsympathetic psychopaths", it really feels like they know nothing about aspd, personality disorders, and how they form. It also just feels kind of ableist towards real people with aspd? idk maybe i'm seeing things that's aren't there

These people know that aspd (and other personality disorders) form due to outside factors right? obvi there's the genetic factors but that just increases the possibility. these outside factors typically tends to be factors that is in some way traumatic for the person in question like emotional/mental abuse or neglect (*gestures to dabi*)

if anything, based off of that alone, toga being a "psychopath" just makes her more sympathetic in my eyes and people around her even more unsympathetic than they already are and I doubt anyone calling her a "psychopath" without aspd in mind wants that

.

.

.

this is also how i feel about people needless throwing around the word "narcissistic"* when it comes describing bakugo. (saying this as someone isn't a fan of him). bakugo with npd** could make him a more interesting if written correctly*** tbh and could probably be backed up in canon but in turn it would force people to seriously think and question if he actually had a good childhood and good parents… which from what i've seen alot of anti-bakugo people (including the ones that call him a "narcissistic") believe he has

*i'm sure there's bakugo stans out there call him "narcissistic" without npd in mind but atm i've only seen bakugo antis do that

**same with aspd

***without portraying bakugo as an ableist stereotype and/or excusing his actions

.

sorry abt the rant i'm just tired of the demonization surrounding personality disorders

You're definitely correct anon in saying that people tend to use words they either don't know the full meaning of or just mental health issues to demonise characters they don't like and this is a problem within all fandoms I have interacted with not only MHA.

When people use the words "psychopath" or "narcissist" it's rare to see them using it in the right context as most of the time it's used to demonise a character. For example take atla I have seen plenty of people label azula a psychopath but they do that to demonise and dehumanise her not to actually say that she is mentally ill. The same thing is done with characters like toga, Dabi, shigaraki and more!

Now I know that you're mainly quoting of the ask that @sapphic-agent sent me and actually she has made it clear that she doesn't view toga as psychopath and actually brought light to the issue of people dehumanising and purposefully misinterpreting the leauge. Now I don't know much about aspd in general but from what I have seen toga does seem to have some symptoms of aspd but it also makes sense to speculate that she may have BPD (none of this is cannonically confirmed but they would make for some interesting headcanons). Also like you mentioned it would be incredibly interesting to explore how toga got to such a mental state in the first place as mental health issues can happen to a variety of reasons for example or could be an environmental or social issue as we see that toga wasn't given the right support at home and was taught to simply build a mask and burry her urges deep down until it all broke and she broke, toga associated blood and cannibalism with love and self expression from early on. Also, it could be a biological factor since toga was born with a strong fascination for blood.

Overall, toga and her mental state is heavily influenced from all of those factors and it would be interesting if she was cannoncially diagnosed and had that be explored in depth.

However, mha does already have a character who is heavily implied to be mentally ill which is twice. Twice is heavily implied within the show to suffer from DID (dissociative identity disorder) and I think the way horikoshi presents this is really interesting it's to the point that it's incredibly integral to twice's character whether that be his name or what his quirk is.

We see exactly how his mental state worsens in his backstory and how he has reached his breaking point multiple times. Twice is also presented as the most redeemable of the leauge and we see that even with that the system doesn't care for him as twice mercilessly kills him even though he had a high and good chance of being saved and redeemed.

I do wish that hori spent a bit more time delving deeper into twice and developing him before killing him off while also making his death have a long lasting impact between characters (specifically the league)

I think what's interesting is that hori doesn't demonise jin for his mental issues but addresses them in a serious manner and a lot of the scenes where we do see him struggling we are able to feel a lot of sympathy for him.

This ends up being the exact opposite of what people usually do by demonising mental health and using it to dehumanise characters. Horikoshi uses it to humanise his characters whether that be twice who struggles with DID or tamaki who struggles with social anxiety. These issues are brought to light and aren't a one time thing but it's something that's integral to their character.

Now, moving onto my final comment : yep it's bakugo!

I admit that I have seen many bakugo antis and critiques label bakugo as a narcissist. I also believe that they don't inherently speak of the mental disorder when labeling him in such a way but use the word in exchange of other terms for bakugo like self 'absorbed' or 'selfish' or 'only cares for himself' etc.

Now, I agree this is bad and shouldn't be done. I do however want to offer my own view on this subject (iam also a big bakugo critic/anti) I personally don't think that bakugo suffers from Narcissistic personality disorder and I don't think that mitsuki is abusive towards her son.

I think that the scene with mitsuki hitting bakugo was played in a comedic light. This is the only scene we see mitsuki act aggressive towards bakugo in the whole manga while in the other scene she expresses concern over her son (for example katsuki doesn't like rain etc). I think @delawaredetroit post surrounding this has the best explanation

I also want to add the fact that bakugo feels comfortable enough to sit next his mother. He is right in between his parents (he could of sat away from her closer to his father if he wanted to but he didnt). Bakugo also feels comfortable enough to express himself in such a manner whether that be him calling his mother "hag" or also shouting at her when he is equally pissed off.

I do think that because the manga had already made it clear that abuse was a theme that was in the story and gave us an example of abuse (the todoroki family) that many did raise their heads at this scene and may of been concerned that this is abuse when it's not but its hard to spot since it's being presented in such a weird manner.

You do have a point bakugo's behaviour comes from somewhere and that's not talked about enough. I personally think that horikoshi didn't explore how society influenced bakugo's behaviour and his raging quirkless discrimation (maybe it's because hori didn't want to paint bakugo in such a bad light so he didn't make him prejudiced against the quirkless and didn't explore the theme of quirkless discirmation that he implemented into the story). There is also the superiority and inferiority complexes that bakugo seems to have that could be a result of a mixture of factors (biological, social and environmental) Now his brash behaviour could come biologically from his mother and it turned worse due to his environment where he was built up to be this guy who had everything so he should be happy as he fits into the status quo.

Tldr: mental health shouldn't be used as an excuse but it also shouldn't be used to demonise characters either.

[plusvanity]

hii! any thoughts on varg and marie's marriage? 🤔

Lots of thoughts actually.

First of all, let's determine a few simple constructs: Varg is a pathological narcissist and Marie is a victim.

I've heard a lot of people saying that Varg is a psychopath or a sociopath which is simply not true because no psychopath (factor 1 or factor 2) is able to maintain a long lasting relationship/ be in a commitment. This is a fact. Anyone who is willing to open a real book instead of watching trash videos of so-called 'psychopaths in love' will see what the reality of this condition is. End of story.

On the other side, narcissists are capable of commitment. (This is another controversy on its own). In fact, you'd be surprise to know how many narcissists are thriving in a happy marriage because they found their 'perfect person'.

What Varg did in prison was grooming a vulnerable, easily-impressed young woman (underage at that time) into believing that he is the one for her and vice-versa.

He brainwashed her, made her believe in a fantasy that is 'just the two of them against the world' (the shared fantasy), made sure that she will remain loyal and highly dependent on him. This type of abuse is very subtle and very easily to miss or to be confused with 'signs of love' because it doesn't use aggression. She honestly believes that he is the best that she could get and she loves him deeply. I have no doubt about that. She adores him like a husband, a god and a child at the same time (I will dwell into this soon)

When the shared fantasy is established, the non-narcissistic partner will start mirroring the narcissist's behavior and manners. As they mirror one another (to maintain their pseudo-rightness about the world and their own fantasy) they become 'one entity', one voice.

The narcissist swallows their partner's personality entirely, their free will, everything. And he does is in such way that their partner is unable to see the change. It's malicious. Now, I don't think that he does this intentionally, most narcissists are completely unaware of how they manipulate people because it's such an automatic mechanism (that started back in their early childhood) that they don't even think they do something wrong in the first place. They are mentally ill people, NPD is what their brain developed in order to cope with trauma. This is not a justification, this is an explanation.

As I stated, it's very obvious that Marie experiences a very deep kind of love for Varg, but does Varg love her back the same way?

Hard to tell without no solid indicators.

So, if we take Sternberg's theory of love, we can try to figure out what kind of love he might feel.

We know that he is committed, so, by elimination we've got: Fatuous Love, Empty Love, Companionate Love, and the most desirable Consummate Love.

What I'm making is just an assumption, but I'm inclined to believe that initially, he gave her Fatuous Love. Fatuous Love has commitment + passion (erotic component) but lacks intimacy. I'm inclined to this one because of how many kids they made and because narcissists are very very fearful of intimacy. But as the time progresses, it may be possible that his attraction to her moved towards Consummate Love where intimacy is of course present.

Are narcissists capable of reaching Consummate Love? Yes. Is it very likely to happen in a lifetime? No.

In fact, it's extremely rare because what a narcissist is by definition is against this type of love. But once in a million, it happens. Everything is about compatibility and the willingness to let your guard down in front of one person that you know they won't betray you.

Narcissist men have a very black and white thinking (they split) so, when it comes to their romantic partner, they segregate people in two categories: 'Madonna' and 'Whores'.

There's one single Madonna and the rest of the women are Whores. Varg's wife is sacred, above everyone because he made her the ultimate object of his adoration. He 'reprogrammed' her, if you may, to be his dream. While every other females that he comes across online are called degenerated, broken, etc.

He sees Marie like he sees his mother (if you're familiar with the psychoanalysis theory and the concept of the Dead Mother). What narcissists do regardless if they are men or female, they search to reenact their dynamic with their mother and to relive their childhood through their partner. This is of course what Varg does.

Some narcissists go so far that they compete with their own children for their 'mother's love'. I'm not saying that he does that, but it wouldn't be that far-fetched.

Lastly, broken people generate broken children, and this is a fact.

To sum up, he is an absent father figure since he wastes all of his time on the Internet, lives in a bubble with his wife completely disconnected from reality (they cannot face reality), they are both giants hypocrites, enablers (for one another), and they both seek endless amounts of attention for their little to no achievements. She is part of his image, his 'brand', and they both want to portray the image of a perfect, happily ever after family (it's not).

For those still wondering the most obvious aspect, Varg is miserable inside as every narcissist is no matter how much he tries to demonstrate that he is living his best life, which is pathetic and almost pitiful if he wasn't one of the worst humans that walked on earth.

I can tell so much more about Varg as an individual from what he shows, but as always, I keep the best parts for myself only.

Lucky you, it's not often I educate people for free. 🫶🫶

[kiruyeen]

rambling abt my danny johnson hcs bc I dont have anything better to do

alright so the fog most definitely changed everyone in it, but while most of them are for worse, Danny for better, actually. not for the "hehe I can mutilate people without worrying abt consequences" part. by all means I believe danny would get bored. of the same methods of killing, sacrifing, stalking for short periods, the same realms, same victims, etc. Danny, as patient as he can be while stalking, is a thrill seeking man, and only human, whether he likes it or not.

but this is a key part of him actually getting to explore who 'danny johnson' is. he spent his entire life putting on masks, physical or metaphorical, that he has no idea who 'danny' is otherwise, and this would give him a chance to explore, since, well, being painfully average isnt any advantage to him here and he has nothing better to do since he cant focus his attention on stalking and studying other people. when theres no one left to study, one is forced to study themselves.

he could actually grow out his hair, give himself stick and poke tats (maybe with the help of the legion, who knows), grow a beard to see if he likes it (I dont think he would), etc.

going from this, if he forms genuine bonds with anyone (especially any survivors) bc yk what else is left to do, he could actually, just maybe, open up about his past and realize oh fuck, that shit wasnt healthy or normal at all. I dont think itd fix him, but itd give him a better understanding of himself. I dont think he would ever upon up about this if it wasnt for the fog.

similarly I dont think he'd form any romantic bonds with anyone if it wasnt the fog as well, I fully believe danny used to cut himself off (more accurately, cut THEM up) as soon as he felt his feelings for anyone would get in the way of his mission. I dont think he even recognizes romantic love anymore. the difference in the fog is, well, you cant get rid of your problems by murdering them here bc they just come back like a boomerang.

he semi-canonly has NPD (as in the devs called him a bit narcissistic once and I stuck to it like a starving leech) and I most definitely believe he has the symptoms, as a lack of a sense of self is common with NPD anyway. I never wanna think too much abt this since I have a deeply set fear of misrepresenting already stigmatized disorders esp due to not having NPD myself but I will say, 1, he definitely has an internal hierarchy but the way he feels abt those above and below him are different than you'd assume, and 2, he would have been a murderer regardless of his npd and the npd has nothing to do with him becoming a murderer, it does influence it naturally yes bc its a PERSONALITY disorder but its not what makes him evil yk. its the ritualized abuse he went through all his life with the explicit intent to make him the way he is.

other, small stuff

so since the entity can and does change a few things with the killers, I love to think Danny has tapetum lucidum in his eyes, like a cat, to see better in the dark, esp beneath the mask's eyes.

the way his costume's... strap.. tentacle... things work is similar to a cat's tail as well. swishing furiously when upset, resting naturally when calm, curling slowly when curious etc. it makes it a little bit easier to guess how hes feeling with the emotionless mask on, for the theoretical audience at least.

he's actually not a fan of physical contact, unless it is to cause discomfort to or fluster someone. he's simply not used to it, but he will tolerate it when necessary. he's likely just touch starved but doesnt recognize the sensation, though.

he would not care enough to label his orientational identity but it'd definitely be pan and somewhere on the a-spectrum.

returning to the only getting to know himself after the fog bit, he'd probably realize hes at least a little bit gender queer. (I also love trans man danny headcanons I just cant seem to make it fit with my other hcs)

alr thats abt it I believe. feel free to share ur ideas as well I love reading abt different interpertations for a character esp when it is the silly sopping wet cat that is danny

[sleepnowmychild]

I could write a whole text book on Echo and Narcissus. They were BOTH wronged by the gods.

Narcissus was just ace. He didn’t have any attraction to not just Echo but ANYONE. And was sick of people trying to date him even after he made it clear he wasn’t into that at all.

Echos curse caused some major miscommunication between them, Narcissus snapped in frustration accidentally hurting Echo in the process which lead to HIS curse because the gods saw a Nymph (who are often very sacred to the gods as they’re usually offspring of more major gods) that’d been heartbroken by him.

Echo was wronged by being cursed for simply trusting the wrong god and getting caught up in the crossfire and subsequently getting very harshly and hurtfully rejected thanks to a big old misunderstanding.

Narcissus was wronged by being cursed for a misunderstanding and being ace.

They both met tragic deaths when the whole situation could have been avoided by 1) patience and communication and 2) the gods staying out of it. Even then, the gods were just trying to help in their own twisted way.

Quite frankly, pre curse, narcissus wasn’t even that bad of a guy. He was multi talented and did his own thing, didn’t want any romance in his life and got understandably annoyed by people trying to force it on him. Post curse, he did get a bit difficult, being so self obsessed. But was that even his fault? He didn’t ask to be cursed with falling in love with his own reflection. Tbh I wouldn’t even call him much of a narcissist, egoistical maybe, but a full blown narcissist? The condition literally named after him? I think he, just like actual people with NPD are majorly misunderstood.

And Echo? The poor girl is kind of like a parallel to people with echolalia and other verbal difficulties, they find it hard to communicate for reasons outside of their control and the people around them refuse to even try and understand them. She’s reasonably upset over the way she’s been treated, isolated herself because of it and ended up dead.

Echo and narcissus is both a majorly misunderstood story, but one about why effective communication is important to avoid tragic misunderstandings, the way the world forces romance on unwilling people, and good old fashioned abelism.

TLDR: free my girl Echo and my man Narcissus they did nothing wrong.

Edit: this is mainly me bitching about people misusing the term narcissist and using the story as an example. Yeah he’s egotistical, but definitely not a narcissist by modern standards.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Is Sebastian a Narcissist?

Recently, I came across a series of old posts translating some things from Yana’s now lost blog, in which she did an exercise to draw 30 different facial expressions for Sebastian.

The “shy” one particularly caught my eye because the translation describes Sebastian as “ultra narcissistic” and therefore he can’t really be shy.

[begin screenshot]

[end screenshot]

Now Yana does indeed use the word “narcissist” here (“narushisuto”), but keep in mind that loan words often have slightly different meanings/connotations in Japanese than they do in their original source language.

I do not have a loan word dictionary handy unfortunately, but I did do some investigating in one of my fave online Japanese-language dictionaries (it basically lets you see definitions from various sources at once).

The top definition describes a narcissist as someone who is so in love with themselves they’re “drunk” off of it.

The definition does not use the exact term, but there is a phrase in Japanese that essentially has this meaning. It’s a kind of phrase called “yojijukugo,” and these are always made up of four kanji.

In this case, they are 自己陶酔, which literally means “oneself, self, pottery, drunk,” or less literally, self-intoxication. In other words, extreme vanity.

Additionally, the words weblio includes as synonyms mean things like “pretentious,” “conceited,” acting “full of oneself.” It has a negative connotation and is probably intended as the opposite of the Japanese cultural ideal of the group before the individual.

Put this together with how Yana explains that it’s difficult/impossible to flatter him because he’s such a “narcissist,” and I think we have to assume that Yana isn’t meaning it the way we might here in the West when we use that word. Instead, I think what she means is that Sebastian is self absorbed and overly-vain, which makes sense based on what we’ve seen of him in the manga.

Now, ofc we can use narcissist in a similar way in English, as dictionary.com says:

[begin screen shot]

[end sceeen shot]

But, often it has more of an association with the second one, and I think we definitely need to steer clear of that connotation when we look at Yana’s intent. (As far as I could see, that word is not used for the disorder in Japanese, but as I am not an expert on medical Japanese I could definitely be wrong, there.)

Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that Sebastian is vain and self absorbed, though I do think he’s changed significantly over the four years he’s been working with Ciel, and it will be interesting to see if he overcomes this “flaw” before the manga ends.

(I personally don’t feel you can apply a disorder to a nonhuman like Sebastian, but that is not really the point of this post and I would prefer not to get into discourse. I am not trying to say people with NPD are demonic or anything like that. Simply analyzing what Yana said and what that might mean.)

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person is a Beningn Narcissist

Carmy is her chosen victim.

She loved-bombed him.

He fell for her because he was vulnerable.

Disclaimer: This meta might already exist. However I tend to avoid reading about the C person, so most likely I avoided it unless it was from a mutual and crossed my way when I was in an extremely good mood, because otherwise I just can't stomach reading about her. But I doubt I'm the first person on Tumblr who noticed she's a narcissist as it can be seen pretty much from outer space. That being said, I will go for it because I have been sitting on this post since I spotted the triangulation she pulled with Tiff on June 26. But also, writing about her feels like pulling teeth to me. So wish me luck. Here I go:

I have been going over this massive black hole from Carmy's perspective on multiple occasions already:

Stuck in her mud

Backfire

He let her take the wheel

And barely edging it from hers:

Her reverse psychology

Her dark side

Source: Psychology Today

From the outside, it's quite easy to spot her first red flag 🚩when she didn't take the "wrong number hint" and bulldozed into his life. Obviously, Carmy didn't, and let's not say the C person is unattractive or downright unfuckable because that would be not only mean but also inaccurate, she's the kinda woman a guy who barely ever gets laid would be all over if she was easy and willing, which she was, even if that guy wasn't Carmy. No man with a pulse would resist a woman like that who wanted to get into his pants so badly. So Carmy was no exception. Let's not blame it all on his mental health and on Syd never giving him the slightest hint that she was interested in him as anything other than a business partner at that point. Let's be realistic.

Well, turns out that not taking the phone number hint was not her only NARCISISTIC red flag that showed her 0 fucks given for other people's agency. The list went on and on... The other one was the party she "invited him" to, basically manipulating him in the car to accept the invitation, etc. I will not go into all of her red flags because I'm positive that they have already been covered by all Sydcarmy truthers since S2 premiered.

What I will say is that those were not just red flags, they were narcissistic traits and in her case, since she's a caretaker and works in the healthcare industry, specializing in Emergency, plus she triangulated with Tiff to spread HER SIDE OF THE STORY after being broken up with in a really fucked up way to play the victim in a passive-aggressive fashion, typical of her kind, she could very well fit the criteria to be profiled as a Beningn Narcissist and that would make Carmy her victim, not her boyfriend.

It's important to clarify that having Narcissistic personality traits or a Narcissistic personality and having a Narcissistic personality disorder ARE NOT the same. I won't elaborate on that one either but FYI narcissistic TRAITS are present in 70% of the world population yet NPD only affects a much lower number. I don't cite references here because most narcissistic cases are sub-clinical, which means they do not show up in consult. So all the figures that authorities have are estimates.

That being said, the C person is a clear case of a sane person (no disorder can be diagnosed based on what's canon) who does show multiple traits that can effortlessly typecast her character as the Bening Narcissist type, which would definitely be a type that would feel attracted to someone with the dysfunctional psychological makeup that Carmy clearly has.

Again, I would rather stay out of that angle, what I will do now though, is go over all the red flags from a behavioral perspective to get to the point that actually concerns me, which is: Why is Clairmy doomed.

Her cluelessness about Carmy's unwillingness to remain in touch with her by giving her the wrong number is nothing but LACK OF EMPATHY.

BTW: his first response to her asking for his number was to give her the wrong one, but his second one was ALSO NO, repeatedly:

Her convenient "My cousin bailed on me." was nothing but another manipulation and ENTITLEMENT because she put him in a place where he was gonna look like an ass if he said no, so she assumed he was gonna agree to it if she played that card and she wasn't wrong. Of course, she wasn't, she must do this just about dozens of times a day, she's a fucking pro at it.

Not to mention her "little entitlement joke" as subtle as a bull in a china store:

Her childlike attitude is nothing but GRANDIOSITY in disguise:

She tries to mask everything with humor and sympathy, but her dysfunctional behavior is anything but funny and Carmy eventually noticed when he noticed she was absorbing him completely to the point where he had to choose between her and Syd the restaurant.

Had that been a healthy/functional relationship, he wouldn't have had to choose because they would have seen each other maybe once a week and talked every now and then like a normal couple that is in the early stages but she LOVED BOMBED HIM. She spent every spare minute she was not at the hospital either at his place or texting him. We don't know if Carmy stayed at some point at her place too, but that is plausible.

These narcissists only talk about themselves or work to make your story, or what you are saying, about them. There's no way I'm gonna rewatch and record the scene where he tells her that Sunday is his least favorite day of the week, but you sure know what I'm talking about. And it's extremely likely that such a sequence was very common between them. Those "talks to get to know each other better and share, etc..." always ended with HER anecdotes, where she looked like a heroine without a cape. I bet.

These benign narcissists have a superficial immaturity and often resemble teenagers, as they don't have emotional maturity, which is also why Carmy and her felt this mutual attraction since they were young. They were always a match.

He's also an emotionally immature person, but in his case is a trauma response, not a narcissistic trait. I went over his immaturity here.

But Carmy is changing. He's learning the hard way.

Bonus track: She's the predator, he is the prey.

I wanna point out how Claire displayed predatory behaviors, viewing Carmy as her prey because by overruling his consent in giving her his personal contact information and then love bombing him as I explained above she was trying to own him, not just be with him. She was trying to take over every minute of his time, which is what we saw in S2 and gladly ended like this ↓

But it could have very well ended like IRL, where the prey is completely isolated from their circle and loses friends, family, jobs, etc. Before they notice, their entire world revolves around the predator, which makes them stick by their side because is not like they have anyone else. The prey ends up with an empty life where the predator is their only company, their only "friend", their only link to any social life. As you can imagine ending and leaving those relationships is complicated and it's also usually devastating for the "prey". Carmy didn't take it that far, thanks to Cicero's intervention and because he was actually already "taken" by Syd. Otherwise, the story would have been quite different. Carmy's walk-in breakdown also helped. That trauma triggered the crisis that brought to the front of his mind all the reasons why C is not and will never be the person he should be with, not because she represents amusement and enjoyment but because she represents a mirror that will forever reflect and replicate his own dark side, the dark side he wants to break free from, for Syd and for the star he feels he owes her.

B side: How do Narcissists pick their prey? Narcissists feel attracted by people's strengths and talents because they feel their "prey" makes THEM look good. The trophy wife/husband is a typical accessory these types love to wear and collect. If we dig into C's past we will most likely find many "Carmys", possibly doctors, professors, etc. Narcissists feel attracted to those who validate their feelings and are docile so they can get their way with them. This was the test and Carmy failed, which gave her the greenlight she wanted and needed to do her thing:

Had Carmy stood his ground, she wouldn't have considered him "prey material". The second test came seconds later when she asked him to help her move her thriving mother's boxes out of nowhere. Again, she pushed and he didn't stand his ground, she advanced. And that's how she was testing him over and over in every interaction to see how far he let her go, the further, the more his prey status consolidated in her eyes. Otherwise, she would have lost interest in him pretty much immediately, and in her version of the story he would have been a piece of shit who lied to her from the get-go and that would have been the story that she would have made sure got spread around. Narcissists feel attracted to people who overlook their shortcomings and won't leave them high and dry because they want to foster a co-dependent relationship with their prey for the reasons aforementioned, and C did that in the car, at the party, etc. She was open about certain things that she did in her past, strategically breadcrumbed for him to think of her as "real and honest" but also a test to see how he reacted to them, he let them slide. He didn't see a red flag in her circle of 30-year-old kleptomaniac teenager-like friends who threw a party mid-week and played with fireworks in a backyard till someone called the police on them. Again, Carmy FAILED the test, which greenlighted her.

I won't elaborate on the following concepts because they are painfully obvious: Narcissists are attracted to people with low self-esteem and co-dependency issues, which is exactly what due to his history of abuse with Donna, that is the only abuse she knew about but it's only the first one on Carmy's record because Chef Fields came next, she knew Carmy fit these criteria. Jeremy recently said in an interview that there's a co-dependency issue between his character and Jamie Lee Curti's and of course, there's Donna’s alcoholism → Narcissists are attracted to someone who has already UNSUCCESSFULLY DEALT WITH another narcissist because that is precisely what entails the low self-esteem and co-dependency issues they need their prey to have so they can succeed in predating on them.

All of these behaviors or red flags are obviously operated from an unconscious level. C is not deliberately and consciously choosing to do any of this. She's soooo used to operating on this level that this is exactly like breathing for her. The break-up with Carmy may or may not be a wake-up call for her but no one can change personalities. Either way, IDGAF TBH.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[atrophiedemotion]

okay doc *lies down on the therapy couch* tell me about aspd Ivan

(you don’t have to obviously I’m just curious)(love you)

hello valued patient, i will very gladly tell you about aspd ivan. (love you too tysm for the question)

before i start this i just want to add a disclaimer that i do not have aspd. if anyone with aspd says i'm wrong on this definitely believe them before me, this is just a personal headcanon. (i have discussed this with a friend w aspd who agrees with me and im in a similar wheelhouse to aspd, so i have a good amount of knowledge due to that and a lot of research, which is where the headcanon stems from)

okay, so to fully speak about how and why i see ivan with aspd i'm going to also mention the other pd i headcanon ivan with because i want to fully express my perception of him. i personally interpret ivan as having an aspd/npd combination (aspd im more sure of). i see aspd as something ivan was born with a predisposition for (reduced gray matter in the brain, less MAO-A, etc) that got solidified in his very early childhood growing up in the slums and going through the whole 'hung off the top of a building and threatened with death if he didn't make the cut' thing. genetics and trauma, the usual causes. npd is something i imagine him developing later on in life ofc, slowly over time. his chosen survival method being creating a fake persona others admire and his nonexistent self worth & horrible self loathing lead to him developing it (kind of as a subconscious coping mechanism).

okay, with that out of the way, why do i think ivan has aspd?

well. there are a lot of reasons. for one, vivinos and qmeng themselves say that ivan doesn't experience emotions in the same way others do, that he has a 'twisted' personality, he manipulated others to 'play with their feelings', that there was 'something off' about him, etc. while the way these are worded are a little,, derogatory,, it's all very important to ivan's character.

ivan's emotions are muted and dulled compared to others', he literally physically cannot experience them in the same way neurotypicals (in terms of pds) can. from that and other examples in alnst (setting up the wagyein incident w mizi & till, his reaction to his win in r3, his lack of care when it comes to lying & manipulation, etc) it can be pretty safely assumed that ivan doesn't really experience empathy. that's why he learns from other's visible emotions and mirrors them, because he doesn't feel them and instead adopts other people's reactions so he can react/act accordingly/'normally' (specifying here that not having empathy does not mean someone cannot feel sympathy or care about anyone. empathy is being able to feel/pick up on someone else's emotions it does NOT mean someone is uncaring okay thanks moving on).

ivan's tendency to manipulate and lie isn't really explicitly shown much in alnst but the implications are there and very telling imo. before i get into this i want to also specify that 'manipulate' is not the big scary evil word most people think it is and literally everyone does it. to manipulate is to try to have control over a situation, to influence someone/something to get your ideal outcome/get your needs met. many people with cluster b pds learn to manipulate from a young age as a survival mechanism because it is the only way to get the things they need. in ivan's case, his entire fake persona for the aliens and his placations and straight up lying to his peers/teachers/fans etc about his feelings and personality is all manipulation to paint himself in a more favorable light so he has a higher chance of survival. i also wouldn't put it past him to casually manipulate other students at anakt when he was younger so he could learn/observe more things (which was shown with the wagyein incident but i imagine that wasn't the only occasion). i've talked about ivan using subterfuge and disguising his actual intentions behind his odd behaviors which, yk, is manipulation.

when it comes to violence, ivan really doesn't seem to be outwardly violent unless provoked, but when he is he's uncaring about the pain he's causing the other (till lmao) and more focused on what he gets out of the exchange (till's attention & expressions and, imo, a physical stress release). i wasn't sure i was going to bring it up bc i wasn't going to get into the whole pwaspd are violent thing (i dont think it's true for everyone. thoughts and urges are different than actions) but i wanted to talk about ivan's lack of awareness when it comes to it. he impulsively fights back, doesn't pull his punches, and revels in it.

there's also his apparent lack of remorse for his actions (stepping on the flower crown, fighting till, leading mizi and till into danger, all that) and impulsivity when he's not masking (though i consider ivan to be a more calculating individual, a lot of his interactions with till show him doing things impulsively). his difficulty in forming intimate emotional connections with others, his lack of self worth and general lack of care for his own wellbeing, his fatalistic world view.

all of these are symptoms of aspd. im not going to pull out the dsm-5 (ew) because i hate the way it words things (love stigma against mentally ill folks), but all of the things i talked about go along with aspd, which is why i personally think ivan has it. a genetic predisposition, a fuckton of trauma in early childhood (qmeng refers to his time in the slums as a 'dark past') and onward through anakt and beyond, and his lack of emotional understanding. all of it lends itself to aspd. i think this adds a whole new level of understanding to ivan and his reasons for things and just. why he is the way he is. and figuring this out for myself made me love ivan all the more. all of the alnst characters are just traumatized kids who never learned how to live and be human and ivan having an even different baseline than most others put him even more at a disadvantage.

i just want to, like. give this guy therapy or at least make sure he knows that it’s not his fault that his mind works the way it does and there’s nothing wrong with it. and with that, i shall end it here LMAO. tysm rock for the ask ik i asked if you were okay with an essay but this is longer than i anticipated skxjsn i hope you liked it!! and if anyone has any other questions about aspd or npd ivan lmk personality disorders are one of my special interests i love talking about this stuff ajxnsn

[the-way-astray]

Fitz is headcanoned with either Autism, OCD, BPD, or NPD (or 2).... Which one do you choose, or Do you agree with these headcanons

OCD FITZ OCD FITZ OCD FITZ OCD FITZ OCD FITZ-

i actually have an oc that's based on ocd fitz (who has harm and moral ocd). not a kotlc oc but. he has horrible fashion and is bi and fights with a rapier. and that's all you're getting out of me about him, lol.

anyway, back to fitz. fitz definitely has moral and harm ocd.

harm ocd: he believes he's going to end up like alvar because he has such violent intrusive thoughts. he can't get them out, and they terrify him, and that's why his compulsions are so . . . explosive (think him trashing his room after alden's mind broke). he internalizes this and another compulsion is this need he feels to go after alvar, because if he brings alvar to justice he can prove that he won't end up like alvar, actually, and that he's better than him and his intrusive thoughts are freaking him out so much and he doesn't know how long it'll be until he caves. his violent thoughts manifest against the people he loves most, and he thinks about harming sophie, keefe, biana, his parents, and others and it freaks him out so much. he wonder if this is how alvar started, and if this is why he finally joined the neverseen. how could he be so creepy? he tries to force the thoughts out during grizel's training, then when that fails he tries to at least change his ocd thoughts to harming someone who at least deserves it, like the neverseen. but he still gets those intrusive thoughts and it causes him to pull away from his loved ones because he's so scared of hurting them.

moral ocd: he has such high standards for morals for himself because of this. that's the other reason he's so desperate to bring alvar to justice. he wants so badly to prove to himself that he's a good person, who'll defeat the evil, that it drives him to do anything to bring alvar down and blinds him to other possibilities. also, that's why he's so mad at sophie because of the storehouse fire, because that's categorized as "bad" by his ocd, and he can't get it out of his head, and it terrifies him. maybe if he tells sophie, it'll leave? so that's what he's compelled to do. he thought he was just giving good advice but it backfires, hard. and his obsession with being a vacker, because elvin society sees being a vacker as the ultimate goodness. fitz wants so badly to cling to that pure image of himself so he can forget his darker side. he wants so badly to believe that he'll do the right thing, all the time, just because he's a vacker. because the other option is that he could possibly be in the wrong and that thought could lead to an obsession cycle where he's then compelled to do something even more "moral" to stop it.

also the fact that he's a telepath, an ability where you read others' minds, adds to his fear. he's seen so many "normal" people's minds, including sophie's and keefe's, and they don't have these sorts of thoughts the way he does??? does that mean he's destined to be bad? so he fights it even harder, but it just gets worse and worse. his moral and harm ocd also build up on each other, as his violent intrusive thoughts (harm ocd) causes him to have more thoughts about how morally impure he is (moral ocd) and it all just builds and builds.

anyway. i'm normal about ocd fitz. as you can see.

personally, i don't really see fitz with autism or npd. as for bpd, i think it has some merit, but i honestly haven't thought about it all that much. so, i guess my final answer is probably fitz with moral and harm ocd, and possibly bpd.

[richie-shitlips]

darling can you please tell me about My High School Sweetheart. i am so normal about Sweetheart.

yes definitely absolutely

i feel like i've told you a lot of this but shhhhh no i haven't

as you know i see the show as marvin telling his story to whizzer (which i haven't actually said in these posts yet! just hasn't been necessary, but this is the one i have the biggest evidence for actually)

but it starts out in sweethearts perspective! marvin has trouble figuring out what's real and not throughout the musical (i'll make a different post explaining why i think he's schizophrenic at a later date) so the repetition of "i'm a person" is sorta a mantra for him. and in the process, he forgets that other people are real too (*cough* npd *cough*)

this whole song is confusing cause i also get the boys in the band vibes from the first verse ("Michael, you are a real person" "Thank you, and fuck you!") but that doesn't fit anywhere else in the analysis so it's going here

"i want to hold him, but he's not alive" is a line only in the 1985 version, and i think it's foreshadowing for I Feel Him Slipping Away! but also it just ties into the general metaphor of love and death in in trousers :)

"i say a person has her wants and needs, i'm not a greedy person! he says i'm just ridickalous!" i'd assume this is marvin calling her greedy for wanting/needing affection and love from him

"put me onto your bed, not a pedestal" is just a really good line in general but like. she's still saying to treat her like a person. even in bed, don't worship her, she'd be happy with just being treated decently. it's really fucking sad

then we meet miss goldberg for the first time in the show, and wow what a way to introduce a character! you get high expectations of her and also jealousy from sweetheart and also makes you wonder just what her relationship with marvin is?

"she gave me words to say" could mean just lines in the play, but i also see it as her telling him to lie about what happened between them. if you're new here, i see miss goldberg as a groomer, and i'll talk more about that if you ask me about set those sails or the r of miss goldberg...

unrelated but i like to think that marvin's moms name was nina and that's why he gets so happy about the boats! (in the dialogue. for fans of only the 1979 version, it goes as such: "Queen Isabella, as you recall, had three ships: The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The Santa Maria being the best looking of the three, lots of gold and carved wood. Even the Pinta had its admirers. But it was the Nina Christopher was fondest of- for it was named after his mother, Nina Columbus!" which is a blatant lie but shh he's infodumping)

another interpretation of that dialogue is that it's a metaphor for the ladies, as in the trinity college production he gestures to wife, sweetheart, and goldberg respectively as he talks. which says that he sees goldberg in a sort of maternal way at first, which is really sad

then, after goldberg sings her part, marvin repeats it with her, which is what i say him telling whizzer about. bragging about what a good actor he was and such "i love the way marvin acts, i do"

the second dialogue is interesting cause goldberg is compared to isabella in a way, and marvin is obviously columbus, which implies that there was something romantic or sexual between them (which there was, no matter how you look at it)